Merry Christmas Wishes

[emptynest]

For a laugh or two, go to:

http://www.mesasoftware.com/merrychristmas.htm

It is cute-----

[Teresa]

Senior Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas at Rock-Away Rest...
And all of us seniors were looking our best.
Our glasses, how sparkly, our wrinkles, how merry;
Our punch bowl held prune juice plus three drops of sherry.
A bed sock was taped to each walker; in hope
That Santa would bring us soft candy and soap.
We surely were lucky to be there with friends, secure in this residence and in our Depends.
Our grandkids had sent us some Christmassy crafts...Like angels in snowsuits and penguins on rafts.
The dental assistant had borrowed our teeth, and from them she'd crafted a holiday wreath.
The bedpans, so shiny, all stood in a row, reflecting our candle's magnificent glow.
Our supper so festive -- the joy wouldn't stop --
Was creamy warm oatmeal with sprinkles on top.
Our salad was Jell-O, so jiggly and great,
Then puree of fruitcake was spooned on each plate.
The social director then had us play games..
Like "Where Are You Living?"  And "What Are Your Names?"
Old Grandfather Looper was feeling his oats,
Proclaiming that reindeer were nothing but goats.
Our resident wanderer was tied to her chair,
In hopes that at bedtime she still would be there.
Security lights on the new fallen snow. made outdoors seem noon to the old folks below.
Then out on the porch there arose quite a clatter ...
But we are so deaf that it just didn't matter.
A strange little fellow flew in through the door, Then tripped on the sill and fell flat on the floor. 'Twas just our director, all togged out in red. He jiggled and chuckled and patted each head.
We knew from the way that he strutted and jived...
Our social security checks had arrived.
We sang -- how we sang -- in our monotone croak...
Till the clock tinkled out its soft eight-p.m. stroke.
And soon we were snuggling deep in our beds, while nurses distributed nocturnal meds.
And so ends our Christmas at Rock-Away Rest.....
'Fore long you'll be with us, we wish you the best.

[genealogynut]

I think it would be great if a copy of this was put on every Senior Center and nursing home   bulletin board during the holidays!  This is so good!

[emptynest]

A Christmas Story

    When four of Santa's elves became sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the pre-Christmas pressure.  Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.
     When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped fence were out---Heaven knows where.  Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum.
     When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the apple cider and hidden the liquor. In his frustration, he dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.
     Just then, the doorbell rang, and irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you.  Where would you like me to stick it?"
     And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree............