Like Slimey Cockroaches & their crooked President, Liberals Spread Disease

[Warph]

                    LOWLY LIBERAL EVOLUTION CHART
                   


I have heard that the creature most likely to survive nuclear wars, a new ice age or even, Lord forbid, a world dominated by Muslims, is the lowly cockroach.  If that's true, I think the cockroach's human equivalent, the lowly liberal can draw some comfort from that fact.

Those of you who think I am being unfair to socialists, communists, progressives or whatever else leftists are calling themselves this week, will have to point out where I'm going wrong.  After all, like cockroaches, liberals spread disease, believe they're entitled to food and shelter that they've neither produced nor paid for and, rather than try to debate issues, prefer, when confronted, to scurry off and hide in dark and scary places, such as MSNBC, faculty lounges and the editorial offices at the New York Times and the Washington Post.

One only has to look at their leaders to know them for what they are.  Consider that Joe Biden, in announcing his support of same-sex marriages, paid tribute to the sitcom, Will and Grace, for the role it played in making homosexuality palatable for millions of Americans.  At the same time, Obuma is promoting his presidency by showing how much a fictional character named Julia depends on him.  And yet when Dan Quayle... remember him?... referred to the influence that unwed mother Murphy Brown would have on impressionable teenage girls, the liberal establishment lampooned him as a buffoon who couldn't tell the difference between a real person and a TV character portrayed by Candice Bergen.

But, as we all know, liberals are always insisting that their politicians are brilliant.  They inevitably concoct surrealistic IQ numbers for people like Obuma, Clinton and Jimmy Carter, that suggest that they would have cured cancer, converted water into gasoline and disproved the Theory of Relativity, if only they hadn't had bigger fish to fry.  Proof that liberals are ignoramuses is that they ballyhoo socialism, a system that not only rewards sloth and mediocrity, but generally results in bloody regimes that enslave their citizens, while demeaning capitalism, a system that rewards intelligence and initiative, and promotes freedom and liberty.

Also, like Muslims, liberals lie and encourage other liberals to lie on their behalf.  For instance, Barack Hussein Obuma, while pontificating about same-sex marriages, recently said, "When I go to college campuses, sometimes I talk to college Republicans who think that I have terrible policies on the economy and foreign policy, but they believe in sex equality."  LIE! LIE! LIE!  The truth is, Obuma never speaks to college Republicans, and he makes damn sure they don't get to speak to him by banishing them from his staged events.  Hell, this phony populist doesn't even talk to congressional Republicans.

Speaking of the man destined to be a one-termer, how is it that he has enough energy to bound up and down steps, proving time and again just how light in the loafers he really is, but he can't quite make it through an entire sentence without pausing two or three times?

After looking at coverage of the recent event, "Correspondence Dinner" which was emceed by Jimmy Kimmel, I understood what he meant.  I saw photo after photo that made my skin crawl.  There was Wolf Blitzer posing with Eva Longoria, Leon Panetta huddled with Al Sharpton, Piers Morgan and Goldie Hawn, Valerie Jarrett and MSNBC president Phil Griffin.  Also in attendance were the likes of Arianna Huffington, Barbara Walters, Woody Harrelson, George Clooney, Eliot Spitzer and, for good measure, behind the bar, pouring shots, Rachel Maddow.  Having also seen some of the show on TV, I'd say it was a lot like watching the Academy Awards, except for the absence of good-looking women.

Speaking of which, Massachusetts Senate candidate and Harvard law professor, Elizabeth Warren, has insisted for years that she is entitled to profit from affirmative action because she is 1/32nd Cherokee.  This has led to several good-natured japes, generally consisting of guessing her Indian name.  I have ventured it might be "Lies Like a Blanket," "Dances With Liberals" or possibly "Speaks Heap Big Hokum."

But who can really blame her when places like Harvard reward diversity of race and color, while eliminating diversity of thought and opinion.  Let a conservative be invited to speak on 95% of the colleges and universities in America, and you can count on the professors joining with their young charges in drowning them out.  The very places that pride themselves on being the sanctuary of free speech and unpopular ideas are as intolerant as Cotton Mather and as vicious as Brown Shirts.  Let a conservative appear in their hallowed presence, and judging by the cackling, you'd think a coop of hens had suddenly been confronted by Br'er Fox.

Finally, in the spirit of bi-partisanship, I'd like to suggest that we stop spending millions of tax dollars providing ex-presidents (at present we have two from each party) with offices, free phone service and Secret Service protection.  Without arguing over whether Carter, Clinton and the two Bushes, actually deserve such largesse, they simply don't need it.  Thanks to multi-million dollar book deals and six-figure speaking fees, being an ex-president is the equivalent of winning the Mega Millions lottery without even having to buy a ticket.[/font][/size]

[Warph]

How do you feel about becoming a cockroach? Could you stand being yourself?

The Dalai Lama in his press conference this morning on MS/NBC, set out to warn that each of us may have to adjust in a post nuclear world, to becoming cockroaches.

"That may be the only possible reincarnation that will live, although it will be difficult for many as our diets will consist of crumbs and we must live in the dark and walk using both hands and feet."

The Dalai Lama then told his audience to go and study the lives of Bernie Madoff and Roman Polanski.

"They are today's best example."

Although the Chinese leadership also qualify according to the Lama, they stay in hiding. "You see how good they are at this already. They stay in the dark ages and scurry about during the night."

Other possible examples mentioned were Bill Maher, Rosie O'Donnell and Geraldo Rivera.

[Warph]

Why is it Republicans in general insist on bringing a water pistol to a gun fight?  Why do we stand by while the Left demonizes decent rich people like Frank Vandersloot, the Koch brothers and Mitt Romney?  Why aren't we ridiculing wealthy left-wing hypocrites like Rosie O'Donnell, George Clooney, Jeffrey Immelt, Oprah Winfrey, Jay Rockefeller, Barbara Boxer, Nancy Pelosi and Barack Hussein Obuma?  And let us not forget George Soros, the man who's so easy to demonize because his face, his voice and his personal history, are exactly what I have in mind when I try to visualize Satan.

When those on the Left strong arm sponsors into deserting people like Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh, why aren't we doing the same to those companies sponsoring the likes of Bill Maher, Chris Matthews, Al Sharpton and the rest of that creepy crew at MSNBC?  For one thing, a lot of those lefties are college kids, the unemployed and folks on welfare.  Who do you think sponsors are more likely to take seriously, millions of Republican adults with money to spend OR the young, grungy hooligans who make up the Occupy Wall Street movement?

For that matter, when union thugs and Team Obuma force a recall election on Wisconsin's Scott Walker, why aren't we doing the same to California's Jerry "Moonbeam" Brown or North Carolina's "Teflon" Governor Bev Perdue?  Governor "Moonbeam" first told us we had a six billion dollar deficit, but, recently, while demanding a billion dollar tax hike, he has now decided the deficit is twice as large as he had first thought.

Governor Perdue recently said that, thanks to the 61% of North Carolinians who voted to ensure that marriage be limited to one man and one women, not only was she personally embarrassed, but that the entire country was so traumatized that we had begun to confuse North Carolina with Mississippi.  That's a patent lie.  Mississippi, after all, was wise enough to elect a Republican governor, Phil Bryant, whereas North Carolinians decided a few years earlier to elect its first female governor, a boneheaded botox clown named Perdue....

 

.....who made it one of her first orders of business to veto a law making it mandatory to show a photo I.D. when voting.  She has been married to Bob Eaves since 1997 and has two grown sons, from her previous marriage to Gary Perdue, which lasted from 1970 to 1994.  She continues to use "Perdue" as her last name, using her current married name as her middle name.  Bob probably prefers it that way... can't blame him.

That leads me to wonder if perhaps it's high time that we stopped using elections as a way in which to conduct social engineering.  North Carolinians decided they would feel good about themselves if they elected their first female governor.  At about the same time, Americans decided they would feel good about themselves if they elected their first half-black president.  All I can say is that not since Dr. Frankenstein pulled that unfortunate switch in his cellar have experiments gone this haywire.

[Warph]

IT'S LIKE A DISEASE OR SOMETHING...

What do you talk about when you;re handing out Medals of Freedom?

If you're Obuma, you talk about the same thing that you always talk about.  Your own greatness, your own pervasive specialness and the amazing historicity that someone whose middle name is that of a Muslim warlord and mass murderer is sitting in the White House.

"No one ever picks up a guitar, or fights a disease, or starts a movement, thinking: 'You know what? If I keep this up, in 2012 I could get a medal in the White House from a guy named Barack Hussein Obama.  That wasn't in the plan.  But that's exactly what makes this award so special," Obuma said.

Is this some kind of mental illness?  I'm asking this as a serious question.  Does Obuma walk into pizza shops and give his order as:
"You probably never thought that in the year 2012 you would be getting an order for a deep dish pizza with extra boiled arugula and squid on top from a guy named Barack Hussein Obama, a happening dude who happens to live in the White House, and who is influencing your life and mine in many special ways."

At this point if I ever met Obuma, I would just have to ask him, "What the hell is wrong with you?  Did you not get enough attention as a child?"

[Warph]

If Barack Hussein Obuma were a fictional character, he'd be funny in the way that the vain and stupid anchorman, Ted Baxter, was funny on the old Mary Tyler Moore Show or Major Frank Burns was on MASH.  But when the schmuck is sitting in the Oval Office, his arrogance and general ineptitude are not nearly so amusing.

It's one thing for conservatives to accuse this clown of being the biggest narcissist this side of a Hollywood diva, but quite another when he constantly reinforces the notion that he sincerely believes the world revolves not around the sun, but around himself.  No sooner did our own socialist president create a firestorm by suggesting that he, not the Navy Seals, was singularly responsible for killing Osama bin Laden by delivering an address that, as usual, was filled with "I" and "me," but, in announcing his decision to come out in favor of homosexual marriages, he referred to gay members of the military who are "fighting on my behalf."  Funny, but I thought, and I'm willing to bet they thought, they were fighting on America's behalf.

And I think my favorite moment of this election year so far occurred in the West Virginia Democratic primary when Obuma garnered 58% of the vote and Keith Judd, otherwise known as inmate 11593-051, who's serving a 17-year term in a Texas prison for extortion, received a whopping 42% without spending a dime on his campaign.  In related news, it's rumored that Barack Hussein Obuma is considering dumping "The Mouth" as his running mate in favor of political phenom, Keith Judd.

Frankly, I wish I could devote all my time to ridiculing Obuma, but America's other liberals keep diverting my attention.

[Warph]

Frankly, I don't know how it is that so many people are willing to let people know that they intend to vote for Barack Hussein Obuma, let alone send him money.  I mean, even if you're a Democrat, why aren't you embarrassed to encourage someone this bigoted, incompetent, thin-skinned, vain and arrogant, to run for re-election?  As a Republican, it figures that I don't think that any of the male or female Democrats in the House and Senate belong in the Oval Office.  But why would any Democrat want to go to the mat for the only one of them who has consistently shown a strong DISLIKE for this country and for everyone who doesn't happen to be black, and who regularly displays rancor against America's history, traditions and religious orientation?

Also, it confounds me that liberals, who proclaim a concern for women and gays, never seem to have an angry word to say about Muslims or any of the Middle East nations where being homosexual is a capital crime and where women are kept barefoot and pregnant, not to mention disenfranchised, illiterate and the sole victims of so-called honor killings.  Liberals, including Michael Moore, Oliver Stone, sean Penn, Steven Spielberg and several members of the Congressional Black Caucus, also seem to be infatuated with Fidel Castro.  What makes that so odd is that Castro's Cuba resembles Fulgencio Batista's Cuba in many ways, except that Batista was far more humane when it came to Cuba's homosexual population.

Liberals are also very tolerant of women who wish to be sexually active so long as the government provides the means to either avoid or abort their pregnancies.  Towards that end, they invented a ghoulish organization called Planned Parenthood, which sounds like the sort of intentional misnomer for which Big Brother was so well known in Orwell's 1984.

[Warph]

     

It shouldn't be too long now before we hear the conclusion (by SCOTUS) on ObumaCare.  What Obama and his corrupt cronies are trying to do to health care should not only anger every American, it should have them reading up on guerrilla warfare.  Ever since the presidential campaign, when Obuma told the guy with the ailing elderly mother that instead of an operation, he should consider pain pills as the more sensible option, I knew this cold-blooded good-for-nothing was a piss-poor man born, not to govern a nation, but to run a gulag.

But what makes it even worse is that the people in Washington who'd like to put old folks on ice floes and stick the rest of us in under-staffed medical clinics have no intention of sharing our sorry fates.  Do you think Charley Rangel is going to take a number and twiddle his thumbs if he needs to have his 79-year-old gall bladder removed?  Do you think that Marian Robinson, Obama's 72-year-old mother-in-law, is going to be given a pain pill if she ever needs a liver transplant?  As George Orwell put it in "Animal Farm," which could well have served as a training manual for Obama's administration, "All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others."

[Warph]

                   

If I had to explain Americans to a Martian, I would be hard-pressed.  It would be especially difficult when it came to liberals.  But, there are even conservatives who confound me.  For instance, why would any Republican belong to AARP?  They might just as well skip the middleman and send their money directly to Obuma and the DNC.   Judging by the organization's enthusiastic support of ObumaCare in the past... which should really be called ObumaDoesn'tCare.... it's obvious that the only old people AARP gives a hoot about are Nancy Pelosi, Charlie Rangel and Harry Reid.

Quite honestly, I don't even understand why Democrats are supporting Obuma's health plan.  Assuming they're aware that even during the presidential campaign, Obuma suggested that a reasonable option for old folks in dire need of operations was to rely on pain pills, I can't help wondering if liberals are so busy worrying about the health and comfort of terrorists down in Gitmo that they simply don't have the time or inclination to fret over the plight of their own parents and grandparents.  Or perhaps they're simply eager to collect their inheritances.

[Warph]

Obuma, who quite naturally refuses to run on his record, is, instead, insisting that he needs another four years to finish the job.  But because of the near-universal disapproval of ObumaCare, the trillion dollar stimulus, the additional six trillion dollars of debt and his anti-Israel position, he's in the weird position of not being able to tell us exactly what the hell this job is that he wishes to keep doing.

                               

Although Obuma and his flunkies keep referring to the economy he inherited as the worst since the Great Depression, the fact is that the economy that Reagan inherited from Jimmy Carter was pretty awful.  In 1980, the rate of inflation was 13.58% and unemployment was 7.48%, which translated to 20.96 on the misery index.  In 2012, inflation is around 2.7% and although, according to the feds, unemployment is hovering around 8.3%, we all know that underemployment combined with the people who have simply stopped looking for work would raise the actual number to about 15%, making for a miserable, Carter-like, 18% on the misery index.  If Romney poses the question Reagan posed in 1980, "Are you better off now than you were four years ago," just about everyone who's not on Obuma's payroll would have to answer with a resounding "No!"

And what's the deal with Juan Williams... nearly every time I tune in to Bret Baier's "Special Report," Bill O'Reilly's "The Factor" and Chris Wallace's "Fox News Sunday,"... Here'ssssss JUAN!!!  I can only assume that he possesses very incriminating photos of Roger Ailes.  His singular role on Fox seems to be to spin like a top for the Obuma administration and parrot excuses for the man's endless string of failures.  The fact is, Juan Williams expends so much effort carrying Barack Hussein Obuma's water, I just hope for his sake that he never leaves home without his truss!

[Warph]

Michigan's former goofball governor, Canadian-born Jennifer Granholm, recently came out four-square against photo IDs for voters.  With the logic that left-wingers are so well known for, she said that having to show the same proof of identity that's required for the purchase of airline tickets, cigarettes and beer, amounts to voter suppression laws.  Moreover, she went on, those who support these laws are guilty of nothing less than treason.  Wow, treason, no less!... (now you know why she's earned the name "Goofball.")  The last time I looked, that's still a capital crime.  Even David Axelrod hasn't called for executing people who think that voting in our elections is a more sacred right than buying a six-pack.  Granholm, who has apparently memorized portions of the Democratic playbook, insisted that photo IDs are a Republican plot to disenfranchise five million potential voters.  She said that most of them are Hispanics, blacks and young people, which, ironically, are the very groups that seem to buy most of the cigarettes and beer in this country.

                       

Because I am not running for Dictator, I will confess that I wish photo IDs really would prevent Granholm's five million from voting.   That's because those three groups, hispanics, blacks and young people, gave Obuma roughly 67, 95 and 66%, of their respective votes in 2008, and will probably do so again.  But I am still wagering that Obuma will lose the election.  And no matter that the polls are calling the election a toss-up, I don't think Obuma is getting a lot of sleep these days.  After all, in the West Virginia Democratic primary, Keith Judd, a guy doing time in a Texas prison, managed to get 41% of the vote.

As if that wasn't discouraging enough, in the Arkansas primary, running against a lawyer named John Wolfe, Jr., Obuma once again only received 59% of the vote.  While it's true that Mr. Wolfe is not serving a prison sentence and has had earlier experience running for office, he only garnered 34, 33 and 28%, the three times he ran for Congress, and a pathetic 2.8% when he ran for mayor of Chattanooga, Tennessee.  Quite obviously, he had far stronger competition on those occasions.

Finally, in the Kentucky primary, where his only opposition on the ballot was "Uncommitted," Obuma squeaked by with 57.9% of the vote.  In other words, a switch of just eight percent would have sent "Uncommitted" to the Democratic convention in Charlotte, North Carolina, with Kentucky's delegates in his hip pocket, if only good old "Uncommitted" had hips or a pocket.