For you Ice Cream Lovers and other jokes

[Judy Harder]

In honor of the 44th President of the United States, Baskin-Robbins Ice Cream has introduced a new flavor: Barocky Road

Barocky Road is a blend of half vanilla, half chocolate, and surrounded by nuts and flakes.
The vanilla portion of the mix is not openly advertised and usually denied as an ingredient.
The nuts and flakes are all very bitter and hard to swallow.

The cost is $92.84 per scoop...so out of a hundred dollar bill you are at least promised some CHANGE..!

When purchased it will be presented to you in a large beautiful cone, but after you pay for it,
the ice cream is taken away and given to the person in line behind you at no charge.

You are left with an almost empty wallet, staring at an empty cone and wondering what just happened.
Then you realize this is what "redistribution of wealth" is all about.

Aren't you just stimulated?
 

[Judy Harder]

Two priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation.

They were determined to make this a real vacation
by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy.
As soon as the plane landed they headed for a store
and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.

The next morning they went to the beach
dressed in their 'tourist' garb.
They were sitting on beach chairs,

enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a
'drop dead gorgeous' blonde in a topless bikini
came walking straight towards them.
They couldn't help but stare.

As the blonde passed them she smiled and said
'Good Morning, Father ~ Good Morning, Father,'
nodding and addressing each of them individually,
then she passed on by.
They were both stunned.
How in the world did she know they were priests?
So the next day, they went back to the store
and bought even more outrageous outfits.

These were so loud you could hear them before you even saw them!
Once again, in their new attire, they settled down in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine.
After a little while, the same gorgeous blonde,
wearing a different colored topless bikini, taking her sweet time,
came walking toward them.
Again she nodded at each of them, said

'Good morning, Father ~ Good morning, Father,'
and started to walk away.
One of the priests couldn't stand it any longer and said,
'Just a minute, young lady.' 'Yes, Father?'
'We are priests and proud of it, but I have to know,
how in the world do you know we are priests, dressed as we are?'
She replied,

'Father, it's me, Sister Kathleen....!!!