Jarhead's Bunker

Warph · February 15, 2012, 01:59:08 AM

Quote from: jarhead on February 14, 2012, 03:55:12 PM
Quote from Larry:
......and don't invite Warph. According to Slappy, he is a cheapskate not buying his share.

Larry,
Warph ? Warph who ?

That is a question that's been on the minds of most Americans from the very beginning of time. 'Who is Warph?' You might as well say, 'Who is John Galt?' There are basically four 'sets' of Americans with entirely different trains of thought on who he always was and who he is now. One group knew who he was and is from the 'git go'; a second group did not exactly know who he was but were sucked into supporting him through his eloquent golf shots and the promises he made for a better game tomorrow, but are now finally beginning to wake up and see the light; a third group knows who he is now but refuses to change their minds due to deeply entrenched, personal ideological views on him being a skinflint, and a seemingly extreme inability to admit they made a mistake and try to correct it; and a fourth group that doesn't even care who he was or is as long as he delivers them their 'golf gimmies' on the next hole.

Into which group do you fall? ...Slappy

P.S. Warph told me he didn't care about being invited 'cause Larry and Teresa drink all the beer and he wasn't about to drink any of that "bug juice" ... probably made with ol' moldy chum and fish heads. and yeah, Warph owes me 73 beers... real cheapskate!

larryJ · February 15, 2012, 11:10:32 AM

Fifth group..............those who are vaguely aware of who he is, but appreciates his input to this forum with his wonderful sense of humor................Wait..........................sorry, I was gagging.

Janet, you are right about all this nonsense. I did read this string to R.A.M.B.O and Sir Charles. R.A.M.B.O. is ROTFLHAO and Sir Charles is still waiting for the punch line............he is a little slow. R.A.M.B.O is a little amazed at the ugly conditions of Jarhead's bunker. He is a little tired because he just finished installing the central air system in his/our bunker. Sir Charles was little help as it was his first attempt at working the crane and missed the hole the first few times. They also managed to finish the walk-in fridge and have stocked it with gluten-free beer. They also put the finishing touches on the wine cellar and stocked with all kinds of wine. The local electronics store will be delivering the big screen TV's today and after R.A.M.B.O has his nap will install all five of them. The wall-to-wall carpet layers will be here tomorrow. And, on Friday, all the satellite and Wi-Fi connections will be done. The one big achievement I am looking forward to, is the installation of the elevators. I get tired going up and down the stairs. I have ordered and expect it to arrive soon, a sign for the entrance that says............

I SPEAK ENGLISH FLUENTLY.

Larryj

Diane Amberg · February 15, 2012, 03:34:27 PM

From where will you be getting the electricity, or will this be a Robinson Crusoe/Rube Goldberg set up?

larryJ · February 15, 2012, 07:06:33 PM

I'm sorry, Diane, I forgot to mention one of the first things R.A.M.B.O. did was install 10 underground generators each in it's own separate bomb-proof vault and each separately wired. In case of a failure, the others will kick in. He also ran a secret underground conduit to the local police station which would have electricity in case of emergencies. He also has installed solar panels for a third backup. Installing the 1000 gallon propane tank was a problem due to lack of space, but he was able to bury it in the neighbor's back yard without his knowledge. Of course, there is a line connected to the natural gas which we will use unless it fails. 10 cords of firewood are part of the camo which hides the entrance, but will be a last resort. A 10,000 gallon water tank is buried in another neighbor's yard, again without his knowledge. He has also dug four wells for another source of water. It features indoor pump handles all throughout the bunker. All the water sources are connected to a hot water pump, providing instant hot water for showers, etc. This cuts down on the amount of water needed. One of the projects on tap (pun intended) is to run a pipe over to Warph's nineteenth hole and hook up with the beer tap, but until they start selling gluten-free beer, this is only something to have in place until they do.

Now.............I think I got everything covered.

If anyone has any more questions, feel free to ask. R.A.M.B.O's answering service is on 24/7.

Larryj

Janet Harrington · February 15, 2012, 10:21:53 PM

I want to go to Jarhead's Bunker.

Warph · February 15, 2012, 11:51:47 PM

Quote from: Janet Harrington on February 15, 2012, 10:21:53 PM
I want to go to Jarhead's Bunker.

WHAT.... and drink that Bug Juice !???! Janet, before you do, let me give the tel. no. of
morticians Bennie & Hymie Wedgebaum "Desert Paradise Of The Valley"... won't be any
charge for embalming fee after you drink the bug juice, I'm sure. And if you need a
good law firm for Wills, I recommend Labovitz, Solomon and Rakuover.

jarhead · February 16, 2012, 11:04:16 AM

Janet,
I no longer have a bunker. After reading about Larry's high end bunker I wired mine with C-4 and blew that puppy. I have been called a prepper but that danged ol Larry is a prepper with class !!!

Ms Bear · February 16, 2012, 02:51:40 PM

Darn, Jarhead, I was going to offer to send some Muscadine wine to store in your bunker.

Janet Harrington · February 16, 2012, 03:43:06 PM

Warph, I wasn't going to drink the bug juice. I just wanted to go. Now I can't.

larryJ · February 16, 2012, 08:25:18 PM

Dang it, Jarhead, not only did you blow the bunker, but now that will probably end this exhilarating thread, just when I was going to mention about the pooltables and the antique jukebox. And I was going to surprise you when I told you that when someone rings the doorbell, it plays the Marine Corps. Hymn. I do hope you removed that cash before you set off the C-4.

Larryj