(IN)Courage

[Judy Harder]

The Cheese Stands Alone.... But You Shouldn't.

Mar 17, 2012 Annie Downs

We used to sing a song called "The Farmer in the Dell" when I was a kid.  The song, and the game you can play along with it, ends with the cheese standing alone.

One person left unpicked.

Hi-ho the derry-o [what does THAT even mean?], the cheese stands alone.

A few weeks ago, I asked the single girls who read my blog to throw out some ideas of what kinds of conversations they wanted us to have here at (in)courage about being single. A lot of comments and thoughts later, my mind was spinning and asking how to even begin to cover this stuff.

But there was one that was a homerun for me and my life and my experience.

"What do you do when you are the last single girl in the bunch?"

[Read: I am the cheese. I am standing alone.]

I know what this feels like- I was the last single girl in my bunch. My small group at church was four married couples and me. My weekends were spent with them and their kids at sporting events or watching movies or eating Mexican food. They were my people.

They still are my people.

But before I knew it, three years had passed and I had met ZERO new single men and didn't have a social group with anyone in my life place.

So I have two suggestions for you girls who are smack in the middle of a loving group of married folk:

Keep your bunch.

Your people are your people for a reason- married or not, if they love you well, keep them. You shouldn't drop your friends because they get married. That will only hurt everyone in the situation. Keep them near, dear, and involved in your life.

BUT.

Make some new bunches, too.

I know. You hate hearing this. Or you think, "yeah, thanks Annie. That's not possible for me." I'm going to argue with you on that.

Your local library has book clubs- join one. Your church probably has a singles group- go once. There are cooking classes you can take and yoga classes where you can stretch your friend making skills [you're welcome for that pun].  The Sierra Club cleans up everywhere- try it one Saturday. Scope out online dating- many of the sites offer free trial weekends. Meet-ups are happening all the time about every hobby known to man- find one that interests you and then actually GO. Do you like sports? Google and find where fans gather to cheer for your team and then, again, actually GO.

I hate to say it, but you are going to have to get uncomfortable. I'm not saying unsafe. I'm saying you are going to have to step out of what is easy and into what is new.

I know. It's not fair that YOU have to make new friends and your married friends don't. It's not fair that just because YOU are single that YOU are the one who has to be brave. It should be easier than this- it was for your married friends.

I've told myself all that stuff too.

But the truth is that none of that matters. Because here you are. And you have to find abundant life here- with the friends you have and the ones you are going to make.

I gained tons of courage in this area after reading How to Get a Date Worth Keeping. I learned how important it is for me to branch out and make new friends so that I will grow as a human- it is less about meeting people and more about what it does to your insides to be brave- to refuse to be the cheese.

I know you can give me fifty reasons why you can't meet anyone new. But the challenge is this- are you brave enough to brainstorm two ways that you CAN meet some new friends?

And pray. Really. Ask God to challenge you in this and encourage you in this and show you the open doors where you can meet new people.

He will. He'll help you and show you.

He knows you aren't the cheese.

. . . . .

Let's talk about it, y'all!

What are your thoughts on being the last single girl?

Married women- what would you suggest to the single girls in your life who don't know any other singles?

Single women- how have you found ways to meet new people?

By Annie Downs // AnnieBlogs



Wonderfully Made
Mar 18, 2012  Lisa Leonard




My world changed the day I went in for my 38 week visit. My husband and I were eagerly anticipating our little baby boy after a smooth pregnancy and we certainly didn't expect any surprises two weeks before my due date. The doctor did some measuring and felt my large tummy and looked at my husband and I with concern. "The baby is much too small" he said calmly. He measured again and looked at my chart. His first thought was that my due date was incorrect, but I felt certain that they due date was correct.

After visiting a specialist the next day and hearing more words of concern, my husband and I {and our families} became very worried about this tiny baby inside me. I was quickly admitted to the hospital and they began to induce labor.  After two long days of laboring {that felt more like two years of anxious waiting and worry} our little David was born. And the room was silent. No one spoke. David didn't cry. It was just quiet. And completely terrifying.

After a few moments, I heard whispering on the other side of the room. As the doctors and nurses bent over David, I heard their hushed tones, but couldn't make out any words. "Tell me what's wrong," I begged. "Please let me hold him before you take him away."  Slowly, my husband carried him across the room and introduced me to our tiny, new son. With careful words he recounted what the doctors observed.

David only has two fingers on his left hand.

His neck is shorter than it should be and his head is small.

He only weighed 4lbs 2oz. even though he was full term.

The words swirled around my head but I couldn't understand their meaning. All I could see what this sweet, tiny baby boy in my arms. Relief and fear washed over me at the same time.  My mind swirled with thousands of thoughts, "He's going to be okay. He's missing fingers. Life will be harder for him. He's alive. He's adorable. I don't know how to care for this tiny baby."

Of course the following days and months were full of every emotion imaginable; heartache, hope, questions, anger, confusion and love.  I clung to the verses in Psalm 139.

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.

David wasn't an accident. He was created by a loving, all-knowing God. His body was knit together from the very first moment of conception. He is a wonderful creation. And I can tell you honestly, I believe that with all that I am.

But, if I truly believe that David is a wonderful creation, doesn't that mean that I am also a wonderful creation? And doesn't that mean that you are a wonderful creation? Somehow it's easier to see God's handiwork in others, isn't it?

Will you join me in praying today? Lord, please help me today to understand in my heart of hearts, that I am wonderfully made. {Because you are, and I am too!}.

[Judy Harder]

This So-Called Life

Mar 19, 2012  Leigh Kay

It's a rarity these days for people to ask children, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Regardless of if the question is ever asked, the truth is we all have expectations don't we?

I can count on one hand the jobs I used to dream of having one day. Are you ready for this? I once said to my mom that I'd like to be a 911 Operator. (That's due to Rescue 911, an old TV show if anyone remembers!) Other than that, there were brief contenders of a neonatal nurse or a veterinarian, but it would usually always come back to teaching.

It is the latter that I went to college for – Elementary Education.

I had it all planned out. In an English class in High School, one assignment was to write a letter to ourselves not to be opened until we turned 21. At 17, I quickly penned a note describing what I imagined my life would be like. I wrote what some might think normal expectations would be: graduating college, perhaps dating a great guy, heading into the workforce (teaching in a classroom).

Wouldn't you know it, when I opened that letter at 21 years old – nothing was what I expected.

While I won't reveal all the in-between, not just yet anyway (this is the beginning of my story), I can say that at 29 years old nothing is how I thought it would be.

I graduated college, but at many years past 21.
My degree wasn't in Education – but Creative Writing instead.
I haven't quite entered the workforce in a long term, typical 9 to 5.

And the coup de grace? I'm still single.

We all have expectations. Yet the saving grace to a life is just that – Grace.

What I wanted my life to be by now is almost non-existent to the reality of my day to day. Still a few things — a few great blessings — are here. I have an amazing support system in my family. I have been a part of unbelievable church families in each city and state I've lived in over the years. I have friends that cross boundaries of time and distance.

I may not have accomplished what I hoped by now, but the plans of my Creator are still in play. He has a specific will for each of my days. I may veer too far one way or another, but if I continue to place my every hope and dream first in His hands, that He may sift and direct me in His perfect way, I cannot go wrong.

"Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness. Delight yourself in the LORD; and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD, trust also in Him, and He will do it." (Psalm 37:3-5)

When I match my dreams with His will, my expectations cannot be disappointed. Especially when I expect His love and provision in my life. He has blown me away with protection my entire life. So if my yesterday didn't go like I thought it would and my today still leaves me wondering, I can rest my tomorrow in the capable hands of my Jehovah-Jireh.

So can you.

Why don't we do it together? Let's encourage one another. What do you hope for? What are you trying to trust Him with today?

~ by Leigh Kay
:aThe unsaved Christian

Mar 19, 2012  Lysa




Last year I met a beautiful woman about my age at a conference where I was speaking. I don't know many details about her life. I don't if she is single or married... if she has kids or not... if she works outside the home or in her home. But what I do know is she's been going to church for a long time.

Not only has she been going but she's been involved serving, giving, and doing all the right church stuff.

But, something was missing.

"I never could quite put my finger on it until this weekend," she whispered. "I never knew what it really meant to have a relationship with Jesus. But hearing you explain it, something clicked. I walked forward today. I gave my heart to Jesus."

She brushed her long dark hair away from her eyes and I could see the sparkle, the joy, the realization of salvation. Scattered pieces of faith coming together to make the picture of Jesus more clear, more solid, more applicable in her life.

A fresh vision of hope.

And I wondered what part of what I shared made this profound click happen in her soul?

Of course, it was the Holy Spirit moving... but somehow in the midst of me sharing the broken places of my life, things came together in hers.

It got me thinking about us doing life together here at (in)courage. A few moments whispering truths back and forth over the internet learning how to navigate life as Jesus girls. But all that we talk about is for nothing if our hearts stay far from Jesus.

It's not about momentary motivation to make it through today.

It's not about spiffy quotes to ponder and put into practice.

It's not about relationship tactics and turnkey solutions.

It's not about bite-size pieces of peace to make life a little more manageable.

It's not about making our lives look and feel a little better.

It has to be about Jesus.

And drawing our hearts into His reality. His grace. His love. His hope. His forgiveness. And most of all the free gift of salvation because of Him.

If you've ever felt like this woman from this weekend who can't put her finger on what's missing but is just bouncing from one religious activity to the next... sweet sister can we chat?

God doesn't want us to have a religion. A religion is where we follow rules hoping to do life right, and we serve God out of duty because we think we have to.

God wants us to have a relationship. A relationship where we follow Him. And we serve God not out of duty but out of delight because of the realization of who we are in Him.

For years, I defined myself as the broken child of a broken daddy. I went to church to get a little "God goodness" in my life. But it was like putting fresh paint on rotting wood. I was living just like those talked about in Isaiah 29:13, "The Lord says: 'These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is made up only of rules taught by men.' "

It wasn't until I realized I didn't have to be defined by the circumstances of my life. I could be defined by the reality of who God says I am. I wasn't a broken child of a broken daddy... I was a forgiven and loved child of the Most High God... my Heavenly Father.

I didn't need a little "God goodness" to rub off on me... I needed God to invade the deepest parts in me.

I didn't need to be just following the rules. I needed to be following God Himself.

So, I knelt down in the midst of my messy, chaotic, confused life... and started a relationship with Him by simply saying yes.

Yes, I am a sinner in need of a Savior.

Yes, I acknowledge Jesus Christ as the son of God, sent to die on a cross and be resurrected on the third day to save me from my sins.

Yes, I want Jesus to be the Lord and Master of my life.

Yes, I am a now and forever will be a forgiven and saved child of the Almighty God.

Yes, I will follow Jesus today, tomorrow, and every other day I'm blessed with on this earth.

Oh sister, let me quiet the voice of Satan screaming to resist this process because you won't be able to live this out perfectly. Jesus has never ever asked for us to be perfect. He simply wants us perfectly surrendered. I often pray, "Oh Jesus... I am such a mess but I am Yours. Show me... help me... forgive me... reassure me... and pour your tender mercy upon me."

And He does.

And He always will.

My imperfections are safely tucked within the reality of His perfection.

And I simply press on by continuing to say YES moment by imperfect moment... day by imperfect day.

By Lysa TerKeurst

[Judy Harder]

On friendship: 3 proverbial thoughts

Mar 20, 2012 Robin Dance



Sometimes friendship is plain hard.
What should come easily, eludes...

What everyone else seems to have in bountiful supply, you lack...

Never do you feel more alone than when you're in a crowd of women whom you like or admire or want to know, but they appear not even to notice you...

Because we're created in the image of God, it only makes sense that we'd crave friendship...relationship.  Triune God ~ Father, Son and Holy Spirit ~ His very nature is relational. Everything was good in Eden except for man's aloneness–God never intended mankind to live a solitary life.

Friendship has been a struggle for me in recent years.  The hurtful actions by a few people I valued somehow caused me to lose confidence in myself; which, in turn, had bearing in how I related to others.  Sometimes I constructed walls around my heart in an attempt at self preservation, but too often I flat out consented to feeling inferior.

I  b e l i e v e d   a   l o t   o f   l i e s .
But I've learned to see a beautiful aspect to my void and pain, important not to overlook:
It serves a purpose.
Conflict is crucial to a good story, and aren't all our lives telling good stories? Isn't it through the most difficult seasons that we grow and mature and change the most?  If God is only good (and I believe He is) then isn't He using all the circumstances, choices and consequences of my choices, for my good to accomplish His purposes?  So when life gets hard ~ yes, through relational conflict, but also in personal crisis (health, financial, marital, etc.) ~ I have a choice to make:  to follow the path of least resistance (what a worldly response dictates) or to allow my mind to be renewed and my heart to be transformed.

At midlife, I am still learning the art of friendship.
Three powerful friendship lessons are found in Proverbs–
A man who has friends must himself be friendly,
But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. (Proverbs 18:24, NKJV)

To have friends you must first BE a friend. This is one of the few times I prefer the King James or New King James translations of Scripture; all the other ones seem to say something else.  Are you waiting on others to make the first move or are you willing to reach out?  Of course everyone wants to be on the receiving end, to have someone else interested enough to initiate, but why not be the one to BE the one?  Sure, you're risking rejection, but I think the likely benefit outweighs that occasional cost.

A peaceful heart leads to a healthy body;
jealousy is like cancer in the bones. (Proverbs 14:30, NLT)

New Living translation packs a powerful punch; "...jealousy is like cancer...."  Painful and potentially deadly. Ouch.  I don't think I'm typified by jealousy but I have a destructive inclination of comparing myself to others, particularly when it comes to writing and Accomplishing Big Things.  I don't disparage the success of my friends – I celebrate with them! – but I sometimes allow their success to make me feel "less than."

Jealousy will hold you back, keep you down, and create chasm in your relationships; left unchecked it will destroy friendship and cultivate bitterness.  Jealousy cannot co-exist with the fruit of the spirit–love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control.

As iron sharpens iron,
so a friend sharpens a friend. (Proverbs 27:17 NLT)

Recently, a friend cared enough about me to point out a blind spot; though difficult to accept, I know she had my best interest at heart.  I prayed over her words and asked the Lord to reveal what He wanted me to hear.   It is dulling to limit yourself only to the friends who will always agree with you or tell you what you want to hear.  Allow yourself to be vulnerable enough to invite your friends to tell you what they really think, and then prayprayPRAY for discernment.

Is one of these passages particularly resonating with you today?
By Robin Dance who is especially thankful for truth spoken in love, and grateful when (in)courage readers are curious enough to drop in for a visit.

[Judy Harder]

The Need for Margin

Mar 21, 2012 Jessica Turner

MARGIN.
It is a word that is on my mind A LOT these days.

On a recent phone call with a wise friend, she said, "when I consider opportunities, I think, will I be happy I did this when I am 75 and look back on my life? I have too little margin in my life to say yes to things I should say no to."

Oh how that struck me.

You see, up until that call, I didn't think too much about the fact that my life had pretty much no margin.

My days are always go, go, go.

Wake-up.
Shower.
Nurse the baby.
Dress everyone.
Breakfast.
Work.
Work.
Work.
Pick up the kiddos.
Cook dinner.
Clean-up.
Bath time
Story time
Bed time
Husband time.
Blog time.
Prayer time.
Bed time.
And amidst all of that, I say yes a lot. Sure, I'll email you tonight. Sure, I'd be happy to do that. Yeah, I can swing by the store and get that. I'd be happy to plan that. No trouble at all.

When really, all I want to do is snuggle on the couch with my husband and the littles.

So I have started to say no and do less. It has been so freeing to say, "you know, my life has too little margin to do that." "I don't think that is a good use of my time." "This isn't fun for me anymore – why am I doing it?"

With each of those responses, I have felt like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

Little by little, I am working to create more margin.

Margin to do the things I want to do. The things God has placed in my life to do.

It feels so good to consider the fact that my busy life has little margin and that I MUST fill that margin with things that have meaning and purpose.

Please hear me say that this is a journey for me. I am FAR from solving the issue of too little margin in my life, but I am getting better at saying no.

It isn't easy to say no and do less in a society that is all about more.

But being a Christ-follower isn't always easy.

And I truly believe that he does not desire for us to be running on empty.

Question: Do you have little margin in your life? Do you struggle to say no? How can we support one another?



A Little Confession about You're Already Amazing

Holley Gerth



I wrote this book for you.

For the friend you have lunch with once in awhile. For the coworker in the next cubicle. For the woman sitting silent in the church pew.

I wrote it for me, too.

And just in case I've got you fooled somehow, I want you to know...this message is still hard for me sometimes.

A few weeks ago I had a meltdown. The ugly-cry, worry-the-dog, bewilder-the-husband kind. I was exhausted. I got my feelings hurt. I did the complete opposite of what nice girls are supposed to do on bad days. The complete opposite.

And I did not feel amazing at the end of that day. I felt like a chocolate-craving wild woman who had lost her mind.

Anyone else ever been there?

So what did I do?

Well, first I picked up the mountain of wrappers and tissues.

Then I sheepishly made things right again. With God. With other people. With me.

I gritted my teeth and decided it was time to take hold of truth again.

Knowing you're already amazing doesn't mean you will always feel that way. Or act that way. Or never have bad days and mess up royally.

It means instead that you have made a choice to always make your messy, glorious way back to who you really are. Who you are beyond the times when you utterly fail and fall and think no one else in the world could possibly ever do the same.

I wrote this book because I need to hear these truths...again and again and again.

They're not a silver bullet. They're just a way to win more battles. To get up faster. To become more and more of who God has called us to be.

I want to us to show up in heaven still wiping the sweat from our foreheads, with smiles on our faces and maybe a few skid marks as we arrive. And I want Jesus to be able to say to each and every one of us, "That's my girl. Well done, good and faithful servant. Enter into the joy of your Lord."

I'm glad we can share this journey because none of us are meant to go through this life alone. None of us are strong enough to believe the truth every day. And all of us will wind up with days like the one I had.

Let's believe we're amazing together–as many times as it takes, for the rest of our lives, until we hear it face-to-face from the One who made us that way in the first place.

What helps you believe what's true even on the hard days?

–Holley



Un-Invisible
Mar 21, 2012   amberfrench




Invisible: impossible to see or not easily noticed; hidden (The Free Dictionary). The opposite of that would be "un-invisible" – being seen despite the feeling of being unnoticed. Deep down, we all want to be noticed. We want someone to really see us and crave to be loved, despite our flaws and quirks.

I recently participated with a group of women from my church in a book study of Beth Moore's book, So Long Insecurity. Beth makes a consistent point of urging us to show girls and younger women what it means to be secure. She talks about how we're bombarded with images of how we should look and what we should wear – all in the pursuit of being beautiful. She poses a question several times in the book: "what would you say to girls today?" I've been unable to get that question out of my head. What I would tell them are the very things I secretly want to hear as well:


God loves you. He loves your friends and the person sitting beside you but He also loves you. He has the most amazing plans for you.

Jeremiah 29:11: I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for (Message).

He thinks you're beautiful – exactly as you are. There's absolutely nothing you have to do in order to make Him love you more. He made you just as you are – don't think for a second that He messed up. You are not a mistake or a failure. He had a plan for you and saw you before you were even born.

Psalm 139: 13-16: ­­­For You did form my inward parts; You did knit me together in my mother's womb.I will confess and praise You for You are fearful and wonderful and for the awful wonder of my birth! Wonderful are Your works, and that my inner self knows right well. My frame was not hidden from You when I was being formed in secret [and] intricately and curiously wrought [as if embroidered with various colors] in the depths of the earth [a region of darkness and mystery]. Your eyes saw my unformed substance, and in Your book all the days [of my life] were written before ever they took shape, when as yet there was none of them (Amplified).

God cares about all of the little things you care about. He's not too busy for you or forgotten about you. He's put gifts and abilities in you for a specific purpose. Even though you might feel you've wandered off the path He has for you, He's waiting for you to come back; it's not too late and you're not lost.

Don't get impatient as you wait (way easier said than done, I know). Maybe you're waiting for the right job or the right guy to come along. Sister in Christ, trust His timing. I know it's tempting to run ahead and settle for less than His best but wait and "rest in hope" (Psalm 16:9). His plans are beyond what you can possibly imagine!

Ephesians 3:20: Now to Him Who, by (in consequence of) the [action of His] power that is at work within us, is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly, far over and above all that we [dare] ask or think [infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams]– (Amplified).

Know He's working things out for you, even though you might not be able to see it. You know God loves you enough to give His Son for you so trust that He wants the absolute best for you. Let that truth seep into the deepest parts of your heart and soul, chasing away the doubts that try to linger. He loves you so much. Even when you feel no one sees you, you're always un-invisible to Him.

Amber French, snidbits

[Judy Harder]

On Making God's Will Your Will

Mar 22, 2012 Arianne


It seemed like just a regular Saturday, watching a House Hunters episode and working on a writing project {a.k.a. perusing Pinterest}.

I had a nice iced fizzy drink in a mason jar with a glass straw, feeling all special and happy about the little things in life like mason jars and glass straws.

The kids were enjoying our grassy back yard, my husband was playing with the baby on the floor watching her learn to sit up. I didn't expect what was about to happen.

Instead of just innocently enjoying watching a show where people move to new places and embark on new adventures (while being perfectly satisfied in my happy current existence) I started to get the itch. It's a familiar one, so I knew right away what it was.

It feels like an unsettling, like new places might be desirable, like it wouldn't be so bad to leave this house and find another. Like it might be time to move again.

I tried to ignore it, and continued on with my day. But the itch just got worse.

Soon I talked with my husband and he lovingly called me crazy, reminding me that we just moved to this house last summer, to this city just over two years ago.

But the itch would hear nothing of it.

Pretty soon I noticed my husband feeling the itch too. Comments about how going abroad to serve might be in our future. Out-loud wonderings about where God was taking us next were met with a side-eye and a zipped lip from me {I had to continue to let him think it was his idea, right?}. It wasn't much longer and we realized the itch was a real "thing" and it wasn't going away.

The problem? If you feel God calling you to a new adventure, you really should be prepared for that adventure to be the opposite of what you expected. We expected something fully "new" and what we got was what felt like a punch in the gut instead.

We were being called home to the city we grew up in. Where we hadn't lived in over 11 years. A cross-country move from South Carolina to Arizona was apparently ahead of us, and we were scrambling to make it not be so.

The timing of the move (just 2 months away at the time) and the immense feelings of "been there, done that" were hard to swallow. We can't even say that all our memories of AZ are good ones.

But what we can say is that we are now very, truly EXCITED to be going! We're grateful for this change, seeing blessings at every turn, and fully expecting to flourish in our new home. But HOW did we come around? How did our hearts do a very gigantic 180?

The secret is this: when God calls you to something you don't want to do, cry and cry a lot.
Yes, really.
Get it all out.
Then...ask God to make His will your will.

Those prayers will be answered though, so you really need to mean it.

The beauty in all of this is that those prayers will be answered! You will experience such peace on the other side of that kind of surrender. You really will feel fantastic and excited about the path you once dreaded.

So don't be scared of that itch you may be ignoring, because I have no doubt there are blessings on the other side. A God itch is the kind you *want* to scratch!

Do you feel any kind of God itch in your life right now? What leaps of faith are you hearing whispered to you that you maybe need to listen to?

***

By Arianne, of To Think Is To Create

[Judy Harder]

Easter, the Bunny, and Me

Mar 23, 2012 Jennifer Schmidt

As a young mom, with four babies in five years, many years of my life swirled around a few choice things.

One, that all oatmeal pieces were out of my hair by noon. Two, that all my personal undergarments were tucked in when out in public and three,  if those undergarments were not tucked in, please don't tell me, I would never be the wiser.

Life as a mom of multiple preschoolers created a constant world wind of craziness, cuteness and strong conviction, but my heart's desire and purpose at that time has not changed from the present: To Know God and Make Him Known.

That desire manifested itself in varying forms throughout my life stages, but imagine my surprise when I found out that celebrating holidays was not as simple as it seemed.

Growing up, my family tapestry was woven rich with traditions, and as a new mom, I was so excited to create that solid foundation of memory making experiences as well. Yet suddenly, I was assaulted with a wide range of varying views from many Christians which I respected the most.

Opinions stretched from, "If you tell your children that there is an Easter Bunny and a Santa Claus, and then they eventually find out that they are not real, when you attempt to tell them about Jesus, and they can't see Him either, they won't believe He exists," to "We have freedom in Christ. It's our responsibility to teach them the real meaning of Easter, and point them to the Cross,  but having pretend fun won't hurt them either."

Believe it or not, I am a philosopher at heart, and all these controversial and divided opinions really bothered me. My desire to know God and make Him known led me to weeks of research (on dial up, no less) about the origins of holidays, and how they came to be celebrated, which led to multiple questions that my husband and I pondered personally about what was right for our own family.

I took time to interview mentors that I respected. I prayed about it. I searched the scripture.

My final decision? It really doesn't matter to your family.

I have been called to reclaim the culture for Christ alongside my husband, our children and often, our extended family. How that is facilitated looks different all the time, and it will be different for your family. As my children have gotten older, and hopefully, I've gotten a bit wiser, I've relaxed a bit. I've realized that whether I put a chocolate bunny in an Easter basket will not make one bit of difference in the scope of eternity.

Daily, I need to be pointing my children's' focus towards Jesus. Daily, I need to be reaching their heart and connecting on a soul level. Daily, I need to be modeling for them the heart of a mom whose focus is on Him.

There's reassurance in knowing that my decision on whether the Tooth Fairy comes through the window, Santa comes down the chimney, the Easter Bunny hops down our drive way or I decide to bypass all three, does not impact God's redemptive plan for our lives.

I do encourage all of you to really think through why you celebrate holidays the way you do. Creating meaningful traditions is a powerful balm to family unity. I continually remind myself to be intentional with those choices, and so often it's truly "The Little Things that are the Big Things."

For our family, those "little things" often comes through traditions. For a plethora of  Traditions ideas for Easter, find some inspiration from my traditions category,but here are a few of our family favorites.

Resurrection Rolls Recipe

As Easter approaches, kitchens far and near will bustle with the sights, smells and tastes that tantalize our senses. Even now, I can close my eyes and anticipate the tradition Easter brunch that graces our kitchen as we host the annual Easter Egg-stravaganza. For years, family members have brought the same dishes that tempt our palettes. There's something so special about the way family recipes create lasting memories.

That's why I enjoy making these  Resurrection Rolls every year.

We enjoy the simple, yet profound truth of Jesus' burial and resurrection that can be shared through this memorable hands on cooking experience. Yes, especially for children, the spiritual lesson that comes from this sweet, yummy treat will be a significant memory making moment.



Joy Filled (or Magic) Jelly Beans to Lollipop Garden

Create pure wonder and delight as your children or guests watch these Joy Filled (or Magic)  Jelly Beans grow into their own special Lollipop Garden overnight.

It's amazing what happens when we plant seeds of loving kindness? For the detailed tradition idea, go here.



For a character building tradition twist to the jelly bean garden, read about The Joy Filled Jelly Beans to Lollipop Garden Cake.

The night before Easter, plant the joy filled jelly beans on top of the Garden Cake. These are jelly beans that the children have been receiving all week, each time they chose to show acts of service or kindness to others.

Once the children are asleep, replace the jelly beans with lollipops and enjoy the children's reactions at just what can happen when we sow seeds of kindness in other people's lives – it flourishes.



I hope those sparked some creative juices.

With Easter only two weeks away, I pray  this Easter is filled not just with special family time, but many moments to reflect and ponder the wonder of His sacrifice for us. This is a time of celebration.

So let's discuss.

Even among the (in)courage writers, there are varying views on how to celebrate holidays, therefore I know it will be the same with our readers.

I would love to hear – How did you reach a decision on how to celebrate Easter?
Does your family have any special Easter traditions?

Authored by Jen of Balancing Beauty and Bedlam, a mom who loves traditions, but changes her mind every year about the Easter Baskets.



This Muddy Path
Mar 23, 2012 Nikole Hahn

Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.

– Proverbs 3:3 (NIV)

My feet take me places with no destination in mind. The air is crisp and the sky blue. The buildings of downtown jut from the ground into that blue sky, sunlight reflecting off of the windows. People are everywhere—at the square, protesting down the street, playing in the snow, laughing with someone they love, and here I am just walking with no destination in mind. I'm just walking because I have forty-five minutes to waste before I return to work.

I take the muddy way to the market. Granite Creek runs clear over the road, splashing into the creek bed and runs around gentle bends towards the park. I turn right and follow the muddy path with its left over splotches of snow and icy footprints of dogs and humans into the trees away from the busyness. The prints are just traces gone by, like this day.

There are days I hurry the minutes on the clock, eager for it to end, and days I pray that never end. It's good that God doesn't answer every prayer. Imagine the confusion as God hears me contradict myself. Does she, or doesn't she want this day? That's what He would whisper.

Muddy paths have always been my way. I don't know any other way. I always take the road I want to take, disregarding the sloppy mud and twisted roots. Following God is my way, and sometimes those paths are quite muddied. They are quite well-worn from foot traffic of others who have gone down this road before me. They who have stumbled over the roots, slipped on the mud, and who have grasped for the hand of the Lord to pick them up. You can see their work in the bridges they have built.

I have built bridges and burned them down. I have been brave and cowardly. I have followed God even when others do not see why I chose this path, but I did choose it. This muddy path I take is hard, but I am building endurance and the scenery is beautiful. I stop and take some photos. My camera captures beauty with an amateur hand. You won't find Ann Voskamp or Gail McNeeley or even Emily over at "Chatting at The Sky," in my photos. You will find, however, love. Love of the mud, of the leaves that brown, and the snow that doesn't melt in the shade. On this crisp, cold day, I walk hand-in-hand with God.

Describe your moments with God.

By Nikole Hahn, Nikki's Journal

[Judy Harder]

White Space

Mar 24, 2012 The Nester

Last weekend I had a grown-up girl's sleepover at my house.  It was pure enjoyment. But, whenever I come off a high of peopley fun, my introverted self craves margin. I've shared before my love hate with my high need for margin in my life.  And, I've learned that my home can be a trigger for how I feel.  So one of the ways I trick myself into breathing that big sigh of "rest" is by creating some white space literally (on the calendar and in my daily to do list) and also another literally–in our home.



So as much as I loved the pink and the garland and the balloons and the fun, quieting the room helps me quiet myself and reminds me to find true Rest.

Is there a literal place in your home that needs quieting or white space?

[Judy Harder]

 Sunday Scripture: Road to Easter

Mar 25, 2012  incourage

While they were eating, Jesus took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to his disciples, saying,

"Take and eat; this is my body."

Then he took the cup, gave thanks and offered it to them, saying,

"Drink from it, all of you. This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins. I tell you, I will not drink of this fruit of the vine from now on until that day when I drink it anew with you in my Father's kingdom."

When they had sung a hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives.

Matthew 26: 26-30

[Judy Harder]

Jesus & the Pythagorean Theorem

Mar 26, 2012 01:20 am | kaitlinevans

Yesterday, amongst meetings and phone calls and endless reports, a coworker made an offhand comment that did not offend me, but it did make me think.

She essentially made the casual assertion that she viewed Christians as hypocritical in that "they" were constantly trying to be perfect like Jesus.

Each one of us (regardless of faith), on some level, know that none of us are perfect.

Not even close.

Her allegation made perfect logical sense.

In fact, it fits quite nicely into the Pythagorean Theorem.


If A = B and B = C; then A = C.

If Christians are trying to be like Jesus and Jesus was a perfect being (i.e. blameless, shameless, sinless, etc.); then Christians are trying to be perfect.

Yet, we Christians, so broken and so in need of constant grace, know that this seemingly otherwise flawless argument just doesn't add up!

So, how is it that we are both striving to be like Jesus, and yet not trying to achieve perfection?

Amongst finishing a leftover burrito at 3:49AM (I am six months pregnant—hello insomnia and night hunger), the answer suddenly came to me.

The above formula is missing one huge piece: another dose of Jesus.

(And in life, when in doubt, add more Jesus)

See, my coworker would be absolutely right if Christians were identical inside and out to non-Christians.

And what sets apart a Christian from a non-Christian?

The answer looms almost mockingly in my subconscious: Jesus.

Humans on their own striving to be perfect and sinless like Jesus Christ would absolutely be a walking and talking contradiction and constantly hypocritical as it is inherently impossible.

But Christians aren't ever striving for anything on their own. We have Jesus.

Ergo, it is because of a living and breathing JESUS in us and through us (and not by our own actions) that we are striving to be like Jesus.

Jesus is "trying" to be like Himself through us.

And that, my friend, makes perfect logical sense.

by: Kaitlin Evans Perceptions and Passions



The Quiet in a Mama's House, a Mama's Mind
Mar 26, 2012 12:00 am | Amber Haines




My sons and I pile on the bed, all of us in a rare still moment, so I can clip their nails. I can hear them breathe. The windows are open, and a storm is coming. Curtains sail.

Moments like these are scattered between yelling matches, bloody noses, and tickle wars. My strong voice outlines strict instruction on how to pick up toys. I take every opportunity I can to name out loud a character I want out of my house and the ones, too, that I welcome. Our voices ring out from here like the hum of stars. We do what we do – live – and it's all messy and loud, and often I've found myself having given all my time to the demands of the noise without even having found time to stop and eat.

My husband has been pursuing quiet for lent, and he's been speaking it to me before he leaves for work. Hands on my shoulders, he says, "Take peace, and find that quiet place with God." I must confess that I often respond with "pfffff" and an eye-roll, like what's he even talking about – quiet, in this house.

We have 4 sons. We are many many things, but quiet is not one of them, and for that matter, Seth and I were loud enough before the kids.

But now that he's mentioned it, now that he's told me to grab those quiet moments and call them holy, I've noticed more and more how I reside in a throne room, even here in front of an entire box of cereal dumped out. Here I am with God at the sink; God on a walk to the mailbox; God outside at the garbage can; God as they stick their focused-tongues out to color a picture.

I'm in the shower, the hot water and the washing all done, but I stand here still. Usually I'm telling Jesus all the things that make me tired, if I'm acknowledging Him at all. But I'm learning, instead, to just be silent.

I'm learning so slowly to cut off complaint and the noise of anxiety, that only then comes the silence, that space where God speaks. I'm trying to cut straight to it, to hear it now. Hear it with me, His telling us, "I am with you [...]"

I recognize the rarity of quiet amid the mental noise that comes from social media, noise from fear of failed marriages like giant trees falling, the actual ruckus at the kitchen table, and the noise the baby makes when he wants to be held – the sound of a pterodactyl crashing into the room.

Weren't we after all made for communion? Yes, and in this is often chatter, spilling the heart out in honesty. But, too, there is simple presence – the table where the drink is passed to us. Some moments we remember the quiet sound of the bread, the veil, split in two. Because we can't talk and swallow at the same time, we call Jesus our bread even in the minuscule quiet moments, and then we take and eat.

written by Amber Haines

[Judy Harder]

How Tightly Should We Hold On To Our Dreams?

Mar 27, 2012  Sarah Mae

"The mind of man plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps." Proverbs 16:9

I wonder if sometimes God's dreams for us are "lower" than we think.

"God-sized dreams" might be small, and tucked in, and quiet. Sometimes it's easier to think that "God-sized dreams" mean big dreams, our dreams, the things that are exciting and appealing and out "there."

I've often wrestled with the phrase, "God-sized dreams" because I don't understand what it means. God-sized? Dreams? What does that even mean?

And what of our dreams? What if they are just that, our dreams? Haven't many people followed their dreams as an excuse to go their own way? To leave their families? To neglect the small, mundane, precious things that teach us patience, humility, and compassion?

I think about these things because I am on the verge, the edge of possibilities that could drastically change my life, my small, somewhat quiet life. I'm desperate not to lose the small. I want to hold on to my home and my little ones and my husband and stay within reach.

"Mama, sometimes when Miss Angie's here, we miss you. We like Miss Angie, but only for a little while. We want you."

Miss Angie is the sweet grad student who comes to my home once a week to play with my babes and clean my house so that I can write. A few hours, and then that's it, the babes need their mama. I must respect them, and show them that I care about their feelings. So when the temptation arises for me to go on more trips or have more writing days, I pull back, and I remember, "mama...we want you."

I wonder if what we call "dreams" are sometimes just our desires to pursue the things we want to do, and in and of itself, there is nothing wrong with that. God made us wonderfully with different gifts and skill-sets, and we are to use those gifts for His glory.

But we are first to be faithful, and commit our way to Him. And in that vein, we hold our dreams loosely, because really, if they are His dreams for us, than we have no need to rush or push to try to make them happen.

I have friends, soul-beautiful friends who teach people how to live out their "God-sized dreams" and I just want to understand it. Am I the only one that struggles with this concept?

What does it really mean to have a dream? How far should we let our "dreams" take us? What about if we have little ones in our care who need us to dream with them instead of putting our dreams first? What if we sacrifice our children on the alter of our dreams?


"Trust in the LORD and do good; Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness. Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, and He will do it."

Psalm 37:3-5

These are honest questions, things I'm wrestling with. I'd love your thoughts...

By Sarah Mae, Stretching Into Blue (yes, I have a new blog!)

 
The knock on the door startled me and immediately I started grumbling. It would be nice if, just once, the delivery man could be satisfied with a gentle tap instead of a rushed pounding guaranteed to wake up a napping child. But as I saw the big box sitting outside my door, my irritation dissolved and excitement took its place.

I do love finding a box from DaySpring on my front porch!

Lugging it into my dining room, I tried to remember what was packed inside of this box. The first thing I saw when I opened it was Holley Gerth's new book, You're Already Amazing. Ohhhh, I breathed. It looked lovely. My thoughts quickly turned, though, and I didn't stop myself from wondering, "Am I? Really? And does it really matter, anyway?"



Next I pulled out a beautiful teal tote bag. Teal is one of my favorite colors, so it's no surprise that I loved the bag. But I was surprised when my eyes filled with tears after reading the message on its side.

Dare to
Make that difference.
Take that step.
Follow that dream!

Just like that, my cynical questions were answered. Dreams are why it matters that I am amazing.

God knows that we will never follow our dreams if we don't believe that we can reach them. Those dreams – dreams that He gave us – seem too far, too big, too amazing for little ol' us. But they're not. You're amazing. I'm amazing. And God has amazing dream-catching plans for us.

The theme of Holley's book is echoed in the messages of the Loved by God line. "Dare to make that difference," "perfectly loved," "God made just one wonderful you," "loved by God" – all of these words are true. And that truth is a little bit like dream fuel. It matters if we believe we're amazing, because if we believe we're amazing, we'll follow our dreams. And it matters if we follow our God-given dreams.