(IN)Courage

[Judy Harder]

Chapter 7 Guest Post: Addicted to Adrenaline
Oct 10, 2012 01:05 am | Crystal


This past summer, we went to Arkansas for our annual vacation at the lake with all of my extended family. As is customary, the guys went and rented jet skis one afternoon.

Being the generous-hearted person I am (read: the person who would rather read a book in the cool cabin than risk life and limb doing water sports. Ahem.), I offered to stay back at the cabin with our children while my husband went out to have fun on the jet ski.

About two hours later, my sister knocked on the cabin door and said that my mom was going to watch our children so I could go down and enjoy the jet ski with my husband. While I would certainly have rather stayed put, I knew my husband would love for me to go careening around on the jet ski with him. So I took our children over to my parent's cabin to spend time with Grandma and I headed down to the boat dock where I was told I was supposed to meet up with my husband.

There weren't any jet skis in sight, but I figured they'd be back soon. So I sat down on the dock and waited. And waited. And waited.

(I found out later that the guys had gone back to get gas at the jet ski rental dock and then there was some confusion at the rental place as to when they needed to return the jet skis which took them a long time... they felt terrible when they found out later that I'd been sitting there waiting for them all that time!)

I hadn't prepared to be sitting and waiting at the boat dock, so I had nothing to do — no book to read, no paper to scribble down a to-do list or map out a blog post, no iPhone to check my email, no nothing. And I was afraid if I ran all the way back up the hill to the cabin, I'd miss the guys when they came back to pick me up.


As I sat there, I realized something: I never just sit.

Never.

In fact, with how antsy and uncomfortable I felt, I realized I don't know how to just sit. I have to keep hands or head busy at all times. And most of the time, I'm trying to multi-task to keep both of them busy in three different directions.

The honest answer is: I'm addicted to adrenaline. I want to constantly be going-going-going and doing-doing-doing.

Why? Well, I probably mentally justify that I'm trying to use my time wisely. And yes, of course, I'm not suggesting that I should develop the habit of laziness.

But I've been pondering this recently, digging deep, and really asking myself: have I become obsessed with busyness? Obsessed to the point that I can't even stop to savor the moments? Obsessed to the point that stopping to pray is hard because I can't shut my mind off and focus wholly on Jesus?

That's what I was challenged most by when reading 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess. Truthfully, I picked up the book because it looked like a fun and inspiring read.

As my friends well know, I disdain clutter, I don't like shopping, and I'm happy with re-wearing the same things over and over again. (My husband even teased me that if I did the 7 Clothes Experiment — you know the one in the book like Jen did where you only wear seven different items of clothing for a month? — that I'd actually get to add a few things to my sparse wardrobe that month!)



The chapters on clothing and shopping and electronics were just lots of preaching to the choir. And I was starting to feel a little uppity. You know, like, I've got this whole freedom from excess thing down pat. I don't know what the rest of everyone else's problem is, but apparently I'm just a little more holy or something.

Yeah. I should know better than to start patting myself on the back. Every time I do that, God shakes some sense (and humility!) back into me by hitting me square in the forehead with a two-by-four.

And that's what chapter seven in Jen's book was for me. Maybe I only have 12 to 15 items in my wardrobe at any given time, maybe I have clutter-free kitchen countertops, and maybe I can shop at Target without buying a cartload of stuff that's not on my list.

But the trying to load too much onto my plate? Guilty as charged.

You know how Jen talks about the Seven Sacred Pauses, stopping seven times in the day to read Scripture and pray? Well, when I read that, I immediately thought, "Are you kidding me? When would I find time to do that? Isn't reading my Bible and a devotional book every morning enough?"

Yes, I know, it sounds ridiculous to admit that aloud. But I'm being authentic here.

It's almost like my morning quiet time has become just another to-do on my long list of frenzied productivity. Just one more thing to check off my list so I can feel like I'm doing my duty.

It's like I've become so busy doing life that I've stopped living life. I'm too focused on making sure that I plow through my to-do list and can pat myself on the back for being a powerhouse of productivity. In the process, I'm missing the moments and plowing over people.


Chapter seven was the reality jolt I needed to help me step back and re-examine my life. If I couldn't even find time to carve out for stopping to pray and read Scripture more than once in the morning, that might be indication I've got a priorities problem.

So, I've committed to be more intentional to practice the principle of quiet. In fact, I bought a candle that I light every morning as my reminder to take time to be still, to really stop and listen to what He wants to say to me.

Because if I'm too busy for Jesus, I'm just plain too busy.

By: Crystal, Money Saving Mom

[Judy Harder]

Sandpaper people

Oct 11, 2012 01:20 am | Robin Dance


Have you ever had people come into your life and, even if it's not intentional, make it more difficult?
Maybe they're critical or judgmental; they're excessively needy and demand more than you can give relationally, emotionally or physically; sometimes they take the opposite position of anything you say or do; or they're just plain mean, undermining or cruel with their words.

Sandpaper people I've called them...abrasive, irritating or generally rough to be around.

Are you like me and see them as thorns, prickly and inconvenient?  Have you shared Paul's lament and prayed for God to remove them from your side?   When someone closer to me is particularly trying– friends...family...or even my own children, I've begged God to change them.

Years ago as a young mom, I was struggling through an emotionally draining, almost soul-defeating season with a strong-willed child.  I read all the "right" parenting books; I prayed, earnest and unceasing, and plumbed the depths of scripture for treasureous wisdom; and I sought the advice and counsel of many.  But it would be my father-in-law who would pose an inflammatory question that would ignite fiery indignation within me...changing me forever–

"What if this is about you?"
No sooner had the question left his lips and landed my ears did my defensive torrent erupt.  How dare he suggest my son's behavior was my fault!  I hurled a half dozen recent incidents to illustrate just how wrong he was.  He patiently waited until I finally had to take a breath.

I didn't say how he's acting is your fault  he began, his tone gentle and loving.  I said maybe this is about you.  He went on to explain that maybe, just maybe, God was allowing the dynamics of the relationship with my son to do a refining work in my life.

My father-in-law...the prophet.

But weary and hard of hearing, my cluttered mind and frustrated heart would take days to actually hear his wisdom. It clicked when I was at Target strolling the toys.

A Rock Tumbler ephinany.

My Rock Tumbler set was one of my favorite childhood toys, no less than magic in my estimation.  A bag of ordinary rocks transformed into extraordinary polished stones, just by adding water and grit (3x) and spinning them for a few weeks in a tumbler.

Looking at that Rock Tumbler I suddenly understood what my father-in-law had been saying....

A rock will remain a regular ol' rock unless and until it's rubbed the right way.

Different grinds of grit produce different results and all are necessary to produce a polished stone.

Change doesn't happen overnight; it comes in due time.

Like rocks tumbled or rough wood sanded, a person changes over time when external forces rub them the right way.

This revelation might not be new to you, but back then, for me, it was revolutionary.

It forever changed the way I viewed difficult people and circumstances.
My perspective realigned to consider what God was trying to teach me (or allowing me to learn) in challenging relationships and situations.  Rather than give in to defeat or frustration, I embraced this opportunity to mature in the faith and grow in wisdom.    "WHAT did God have for me in THIS?" was the question I found myself asking over and over again.  This didn't make the difficulties go away, but it gave purpose to them. 

Yes!  All working together for good!

I realized that praying for God to change other people (or my circumstances) was tantamount to telling Him I didn't trust Him!
Sobering.  Convicting.  And motivating to change myself.

To look at Sandpaper People through the eyes of Christ and not my own is nothing short of life changing.  But I'd be lying if I told you this is always my first response to difficult people.  Even though I believe it to be true and worthy and right, sometimes I still resist seeing others through the lens of Christ.

Can you imagine the difference it would make if we believed God was accomplishing a Kingdom work in the midst of our difficult relationships?
We would discover opportunity to love and pray for the unlovely; maybe not quite an enemy, but those who make life difficult.  (Luke 6:27-36)
Obedience to God would propel us toward peace with others (Hebrews 12:14, Romans 12: 18)
What else can you see resulting from believing God is refining you and conforming you to His image through the Sandpaper People in your life? 
Do you recognize at least one relationship where you need to recalibrate your thinking?  Can you see God working to change YOU or reveal hard truths in the midst of trying relationships?  How do you typically respond?


For my good and your good and for the glory of God, would you join me in getting over our collective selves, and beg God to reveal what He wants us to know?  Even go so far as to ask for MORE Sandpaper People to Holy rub us the right way?  Do we dare?!

By Robin Dance, who would love for you to join her on her 31(ish) Day Adventure in Europe.






The Journey
Oct 11, 2012 01:10 am | Laura Putnam


I have been writing these words in my heart for so long now. I never believed that they were mine to share, but now I feel a tug.  As I finally sit down to write, I feel so anxious to get it all out. I am trying to slow my mind, pace it with my heart.

My Faith journey...



When I was a child we went to church every week. But, through a whole host of reasons, it was always a source of stress and resentment for me. As an adult, I stopped going. Twice, early in our marriage my husband and I went to a church, but it never felt right.

We moved to a new state, a new home and then I was pregnant with my first daughter. I asked my husband to start going to church. That was 12 years ago. We are now very active members of our church community. I teach religion to children, I run a committee, we attend most of the social events.

But even with that, something always was a little off for me.

When I first started teaching first grade religion I became very nervous, what if they asked a question and I didn't know the answer? I went through several years of childhood religious teaching, but I felt like I knew nothing. So, I started attending bible studies, learning more about the bible. Learning how to read the bible.

But still something was missing.

2 years ago, I discovered the world of blogs. At first, I was drawn to the decorating blogs. I still do enjoy them, but I found myself more and more being drawn to bloggers who spoke about their Faith. In this crazy world of blogging, I found women who spoke openly about their Faith. About their love for God and their love for Jesus. Speaking this way was natural to them and part of their everyday.

I was envious. In the past, anyone I had ever spoken about religious topics with made me feel very uncomfortable. That was personal and it wasn't shared. Now, I wanted to be able to speak like these women. But I did not know the path to follow.

Last January our church started a 7 week program called Discovery Christ. Not only did I want to participate but my husband did too. It was life changing. I went through a roller coaster of emotions after completing that program. Anger – now that I knew so much more, how could I possibly be all that? Fear – what if He tested me to prove my Faith?

But then my heart let peace start to set in.

Understanding started to take hold.

Now, here I am today wanting to be the one to speak His Truth. To share my journey.

I saw a bumper sticker the other day: "God speaks: are you listening?" Now I understand that this whole time I wasn't listening. Now, I try so hard to hear Him. And He speaks to me. Some days he whispers. Some days He shouts. Some days I close my ears. I am still learning.

I am realizing that I started this blogging journey with the goal of Finding Home, but what I really needed was to be on the path to finding Him. My journey has just begun, but now I realize that I am worthy of his love and maybe even to be a voice for Him.

I am so thankful that my heart is now open to hear Him.

By Laura Putnam, Finding Home

[Judy Harder]

How To Live a First-Hand Kind of Life
Oct 12, 2012 01:20 am | Sarah Mae




"...significant figures in the life of faith were fashioned from the same clay as the rest of us...fan clubs encourage second hand living...scripture, however, doesn't play that game. Something very different takes place in the life of faith: each person discovers all the elements of a unique and original adventure...each life is a fresh canvas..." Eugene Peterson, Run with the Horses

I used to morph into other people.

I hid myself behind a series of manufactured lives.

Being someone else, living out all the good and beautiful things I saw in them seemed better than the vision I had of myself. I was immature, never good enough, awkward, and sad. There was this cloud over me that showered me with lies. This "morphing" began when I met her.

I wanted to be vibrant and wise and mature, all of the things I figured I wasn't; all of the things she was.

She was smart and alive and I had never met anyone like her. I hated her, but wanted to be her. For years I fought comparing myself to her.

Years.

I constantly compared myself to her. She was living out every thing I wanted, and seemingly doing it so well. I especially envied her relationship with Jesus. She always seemed so...spiritual. She just loved God and life, and she oozed vibrance. She could share the gospel in fresh ways and her face lit up when she spoke. It hurt, feeling absolutely small in her presence. Insignificant. A waste.

I was second-hand living, which really isn't living at all.

Then there was the change.

I don't remember when or how, but it happened. I chose to be me. Always. Sometimes quieter, sometimes louder, but always, always me. And I never want to live second-hand again.

How To Live a First-Hand Kind of Life
Remember Your Roots
Piece by piece you were put together by the artist of galaxies. You were His idea. And if you know Him, then you are perfect, complete, righteous because of Him. You are in process, and a serious messer-upper (because hey, you have a sin-infested blood line), but He's got you covered. Be all of you, intertwined with Him.

The combo is beautiful.

Purpose to Live the Story of You
I know that woman says the right things. She's funny and smart and man does she seem to have life figured out. She's pretty too. Why can't you just be more like her?

Because, you're you, so forget her story and live your own (tweetable). You've got one and it loves the unfolding. If you struggle with comparison or morphing to be like someone else, purpose today to live out of your story. Purpose to enjoy who you are; give the world, give me, YOU.

Don't Idolize
You, me, her, us, we are made from the same clay. We all have dirt on our heart; we all need Jesus. You don't see behind the screen, the door, or the smile. You see a piece of a grand human puzzle that only God knows intimately. Don't idolize anyone. It hurts them and it hurts you. Remember the clay.

Keep Your Eyes on the Artist
It's easy to look up to someone else, I know. But friend, if you keep your eye on the artist, if you look up to Him and keep your gaze focused, His other works will just be beautiful to you because they are His. You won't need to be the same, you won't need to compare, you can just enjoy the glory of His grand scale of color and texture and DNA and personality.

You can be in awe of the human puzzle He paints.

"You know me inside and out,
    you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
    how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
    all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
    before I'd even lived one day."

Psalm 139: 14-16

By Sarah Mae, the one and only






Chapter 7: Stress- Link Up!
Oct 12, 2012 01:05 am | incourage




Wow! We can't believe we've finished with our study of 7. This Chapter on Stress was a perfect way to end, don't you think? Andrea shares a bit about how stress has personally affected her life below, click through to read the rest on her blog. We'd love for you to add your voice to the conversation, too!

Just link up your post on this month's topic below, or share in the comments!
{Via Andrea @ Easily Amused}
I used to think the Sabbath was a day of rest, a day set aside to forgo daily activities for prayer and contemplation and worship. But I believe that Christ's resurrection means I have already entered the Sabbath. Every day is a day devoted to fasting, prayer, and rest. Every day is a day to know peace and Him and live in that confidence. With every moment of my waking and sleeping life, my life is a liturgy of this rest and peace as a devotion to Him. The whole of it is the taking up of my cross and following Him. It is just that I sometimes forget about it not just being for church services, small group, and while reading my Bible.

Jen observes rest with a Sabbath day and 7 pauses for prayer throughout the day. I assumed she would cut 7 activities out of her life for this chapter. No, and what she does do is much more meaningful. This was definitely my favorite chapter. The seven sacred pauses are The Night Watch, The Awakening Hour, The Blessing Hour, The Hour of Illumination, The Wisdom Hour, The Twilight Hour, and The Great Silence. Many great things were said of these pauses. Many. On 195 in such beautiful phrasing, "These are not a yoke of bondage, but breathing spells for the soul. Remember the point. Don't miss the forest for the trees, even if the trees come in rapid succession all day, making them impossible to keep up with; then they conspire against you on the Sabbath like a haunted forest."


click here to continue reading...

[Judy Harder]

How Can we Pray for You?
Oct 13, 2012 01:20 am | incourage




The Bible tells us to pray without ceasing. And we love how this community of women rally around one another in prayer and do just that. This weekend, we'd like to invite you to share a prayer request below, and say a prayer for the person who has left a comment before you.

What are you giving thanks for?

What hard thing are you facing?

How can we pray for you?

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18

[Judy Harder]

Four Ways to Make the Most of Your Season
Oct 15, 2012 01:25 am | Sarah Markley




Once upon a time I dared to dream I might write a book someday. By my age I would have book in hand yet here I am, book still unwritten, ideas dry in my brain.

As much as it's continually uncomfortable to be with groups of people who are successful in ways that I would like, I've just come to understand that my "season" isn't now. That has been a hard road.

In October it's easy to recognize the fruits of the season: pumpkins, pumpkin bread and homemade pumpkin spice lattes dominate Pinterest right now. They are the fruits of an autumn in full swing.

But sometimes we still reach for a watermelon in October or a carton of strawberries near Thanksgiving and they don't taste quite the same as they did in the height of summer.

I've struggled against the season in my life for many years.  My kids were too young, my life was too busy, my heart was too dry. And my book was {is} unwritten.

Psalms describes the righteous person:

Psalm 1:3 (NIV)

"That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither — whatever they do prospers."

Fruit IN SEASON.

So I don't have to produce giant harvests at all times of the year {or at all stages of my life}? And the small things I do are good things? I read this Psalm earlier this week and I took a deep releasing breath.

I believe God wants us to do great and mighty things for Him and He's called us to listen and obey Him in this. But maybe my own personal tension between feeling like I should be farther along than I am and wanting to be a good steward of what I do have is simply that I'm in a different season. I don't have to struggle against the season that I'm in.

That book? It will be written. In the RIGHT season.

I'm learning four ways to make the most of my season, recognize that the "fruit" I'm bearing is exactly the kind God wants me to bear and that God designed life to run in beautiful seasons and cycles.

1. Stop Comparing

The grass really isn't greener, even if it looks like it is. So yeah, maybe you don't have a crazy awesome book deal or your online shop hasn't taken off like you thought it might. Maybe your toddlers are in a rough stage and you don't even have the time to go to the bathroom by yourself.

It's okay. It really is.

We are each of us designed to be right in the place we are in. Right now. I'm here to tell you that you were built for such a time as this and no other.

Maybe your kiddos are all hard, all the time, but I promise that no family has it as easy as they may seem to have it. Maybe your shop is still gaining ground, or you are still typing hard on that manuscript. Its okay. I promise it is.

Comparison will steal your passion, chase away your joy and kill your soul.

2. Be thankful for the "fruit" you have harvested.

So maybe you haven't gotten as far as you wanted to by 25, 35 or 55. I know I haven't. I dared to dream that I was going to be a real, honest-to-God author by now.  But I'm not. However today I have pumpkins and spice, candles and rain-boots, grey skies and warm kitchens. I have beauty gathered in arms full of harvest, it is smiles and hands-held and feet that have traded bare toes for socks because summer is over now.

The fruit in this season is good fruit. It may not be all that I'd dreamed but it is very, very good.  I think we are all familiar with how gratitude can change a heart and a soul.

3. Plant the seeds for the next harvest.

If you are worried about the things you must do, or the "fruit" that you want to see the next time around, there are things you can do to begin to work at it. A book does not write itself.  A business does not start itself.  Jot down the good ideas you have, find a mentor to help you in your project or ask some good friends for specific advice.

A few months ago I wrote a lengthy email to some trusted people in my life asking them for specific advice. It went something like this: If you could run my life (so to speak) what would you have me do about this ____. The answers that came back were varied, insightful and generally amazing. It helped plant some seeds in me for this next season.

And the time you have? Do something purposeful with it.

4. Be okay that sometimes the season is REST.

Repeat this mantra: It's okay to rest.

When we can begin to understand that there ARE in fact seasons of life and now may or may not be your time to accomplish that dream that you thought you'd have done by now then you can take a deep breath. Our anxieties about it all begin to uncoil and we can be okay with the fact that our life is running the course God has chosen and not the one we have chosen.

There even is fruit in seasons of rest: inspiration, rejuvenation, health. Remember that sometimes "producing" means taking a nap or closing our eyes. It even might mean setting the project down for a few weeks or months to get a different perspective on it.

So here I stand. Coffee in hand with a blank paper. Pray for me and I'll pray for you: that you realize your season and you rest in the place God has for you.

How do you make the most of your season? What have you learned in this season?

[Judy Harder]

Give Thanks Pumpkin Tutorial
Oct 16, 2012 01:20 am | Jennifer




I have many favorite verses and this is one of them. I strive to have this wonderful spirit of rejoicing and thanksgiving.

Rejoice always;  pray without ceasing;  in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

I say strive because it is not always easy. Life offers us a lot of challenges. There are times when it feels nearly impossible to find the good and give thanks. Life can be hard and uncomfortable. It feels impossible in those moments because we are not in control and we do not understand.

His peace passes our understanding. Through faith, we can put our trust in Him and know in everything, there is something praiseworthy. Everything. We can trust Him and thank Him for the experience because we know He is in control and He knows what is best for us.

Only through Him, can we find that contentment.

Autumn can be the beginning of a busy season. And a busy season may bring with it stress and worry and the whole, 'things aren't going as planned' feeling. I think that makes autumn a perfect time to get my thinking and focus on the right track. It is the perfect time to put a little reminder out into our home for the season.

I want and need this reminder. A reminder that I have a choice. I can choose to rejoice and pray and give thanks always. I can choose to rejoice and pray and give thanks without ceasing. I can choose to rejoice and pray and give thanks in everything.

I am making a choice to enjoy life, to live life, to be filled with joy. That is Him in us. That is how He wants us to live.



This give thanks tutorial can be a simple way to bring this wonderful verse into your home.

I started with a collection of pumpkins from yard sales. They were a variety of colors, so I decided to paint them all the same. I used an off white spray paint and then aged them a bit. If you have pretty pumpkins already, you can skip this painting part and just use your already pretty pumpkins!

Outside, I sprayed all the pumpkins with a few light coats of primer. Light coats will dry much easier and won't leave you with big paint drips. A primer helps you use less of the paint color you pick, but you don't have to prime first.



Next, I painted the pumpkins from top to bottom with an off white color. If you like how the stems already look, you can put painters tape over them so they won't be sprayed with the paint.



I painted the stems with green. Then I used brown craft paint to make the pumpkin look a little aged and more real. This is the fun part. At first, it will look like you are doing something wrong and that it is going to look terrible. Don't worry, it won't! Water your brown paint down with just a bit of water. Work in sections and paint in the cracks of the pumpkin.



Then take a paper towel and rub it off. You will see that the deep cracks will keep more of the brown paint. It highlights all those little lines and bumps and spots that make the pumpkin look like it actually grew outside!



Next I took some tan and brown craft paint and lightly painted over the stem. I wanted to still be able to see some of the green underneath, but covered enough so it doesn't look bright green.

Now that the pumpkins are done, or you have your already pretty pumpkins ready, we will add the verse onto some tags. I found my tags in the office supplies, you can also find them with scrapbooking supplies. I have a simple tutorial here, if you want to see how I aged my tags.

I collected my typography stamps and placed the words on each tag to make sure they would fit.



I used black acrylic paint to stamp the letters onto the tags. You can also use ink. You can also write the words yourself with a pen or marker.



I used pieces of twine to hang my tags off the pumpkins. You could also use ribbon or raffia.





You can set the pumpkins up in an autumn display or line them up on a table, a shelf, or a mantle.



A reminder of the choice He wants us to make. Choosing in everything to give thanks!

What is one thing you are choosing to give thanks for today?

By Jennifer, StudioJRU






When It's Hard To Be Happy for Her
Oct 16, 2012 01:10 am | Lisa Whittle




I can't bring my mind to think it, my lips to say it, my heart to admit it.

I am jealous of her.

She is beautiful and smart and together, and most days I feel inadequate...lacking...unkempt.

But envy doesn't become me, and I know this: so for today I will deny the feelings, pull up the megaphone and try to cheer her on.

It is the truth, friends: sometimes, we all get jealous.  It starts early, before we even have words to know what the feeling means.

As much as we want to be happy for the one who seems to have everything or get it, it's a struggle; for there is a greater desire within to hear our name called, catch the eye and get the attention.

We are capable of cheering loud for others, but it is in our nature to cheer loudest for ourselves.

Sometimes, in our effort to move past our jealous feelings we decide things about her that we think will help: that we wouldn't make good friends, that she is cold and has secret, shocking flaws that disqualify her from perfection.  Our jealousy judges her, unfairly.

We call it shiny words like discernment and determine to wear our own success differently, should we achieve it.

But all the while, it is our soul that needs the tending.

When we let our jealous feelings run amuck, we jeopardize our own potential.  We can't live fully when we invest our time and energy in being jealous of her.

It is then...these things, we most need to remember:

Jealousy never produces good in us.  It severs, stifles, and kills spirits, starting with ours.
Envy is not really about someone else.  At the core, it is about us not being grateful or content with our own life.
Our heart will only become more damaged by pretending our jealousy doesn't exist.  We must call it what it is to help it heal.
Jealous feelings often feel out of control. But there are things we can do, today:  focus on our own character building, put our head down and pray, continuously.
When we serve, we expand our love. We defy our jealous feelings by serving the person we envy, and we watch how our love for them grows. 
We come together as girls when we start by telling the truth about our struggle with comparison and our honest feelings of envy.

We honor the heart of the Father when we celebrate His good work in another.

We cheer each other on best when we first learn to celebrate the beautiful life in our mirror.







Growing {Link-up your Story Post!}
Oct 16, 2012 01:05 am | Angela Nazworth



Earlier this month, I shared about my emergence from a funk. I had realized that if I was going to truly live beyond "going through the motions" and stuffing my emotions, I needed to live more intentionally ... and surround myself with encouraging reminders of God's faithfulness.

I needed to fit more truth into my life ... a life that seemed so crammed with commotion and change. And by being more intentional, as sweet Gianna reminded me, I would once again be "doing life" with God.

I started by adding some physical reminders in my new office space at work.

I hung up this lovely canvas.



I also added some decor and a coffee mug that points me toward the source of joy.



One of my favorite reminders is my (in)courage perpetual calendar that is filled with beautiful messages from my grace-soaked sisters. The first thing I do when I arrive at my desk is flip the page of my calendar and read the message of the day.

All of these little items serve as cheerleaders. They help brighten my days and whisper for me to turn my attention to scripture. I have found that little reminders like these help increase my craving for more of God's Word.

While everything I pointed to as an example is lovely, please know that you can add reminders to your life without actual products ... a Bible verse on a sticky note can be powerful as well. The key is to be intentional about filling your life with true encouragement.

What are some things you do to help you live intentionally?

[Judy Harder]

If you crafters would like to see the pictures that come with these messages go to: (IN)Courage
and enjoy.

I still haven't learned how to post the pictures that come with the message and unless someone teaches me how to do this. I will continue to do as I have been doing.

God bless who reads this.
Judy

[Judy Harder]

For the New Girl In All of Us
Oct 17, 2012 01:20 am | Kristen Welch


"Are you sure you want to go?" I asked my daughter again. "You don't have to go."

She nodded confidently but the catch in her voice told me otherwise, "Will you go with me?"

It was three days before my oldest child headed to junior high school and if that's not big enough in our little world, it was a new school in a new town and she didn't know a soul. When we read about the Back to School Band Pool Party at her orientation, we thought it would be a great place to meet new friends before the big day.

So she gathered towel and tote and I pulled up the van to the Natatorium and the little-girl-look on her worried face was enough to send me back to the security of home. Instead I watched her take a deep breath and open the door and take the first step into the unknown. Her hope outweighed her fear.

She sat her things down and got in line  for the diving board. I sat in the bleachers and wrung my hands. I watched a big group of laughing girls walk past her without a second glance. She dove in and I prayed. I looked around for other lone moms of possible new girls and tried to work it from that angle.

She swam over to a smaller group and stood there nervously at the edge. I silently begged just one girl to acknowledge my beautiful daughter.  She finally made eye contact, gave a half wave and I watched her mouth a shy, "hi." The girls didn't even look up and then they swam away.

She turned, shoulders slumped. And I remembered how it felt to be on the edge.

My eyes filled. I quickly swiped away stupid tears and saw her searching for me in the stands. Her audience of one. With a smile, I silently sent her the look only a mother can give. The kind that said, "I'm proud of you for trying, this will get better, being the new girl is so hard, but you are enough." And I tried to believe my own words.



I didn't want her to see how hard this was for me to watch her live this moment. How could she know I still run away from the new girl in me?

She stood before me shivering and her eyes reflected disappointment instead of hope. I watched her fight tears and I asked, "Do you want to go home?"

She wasn't ready to give up and when she stepped back in the water for the second time, I don't think I've ever been prouder, knowing I would have run.

For another painful 30 minutes she did everything in her power to meet people. No one responded. It was all I could do not to stand up and scream, "SOMEONE, ANYONE, PLEASE SEE ME. I mean, HER. Look at her." And then all the years of junior high and high school and college and first job and church women's groups and blogging conferences, all my own pent-up new girl angst was there with me in the stands.

We left without her meeting one person. We dumped our sorrow into chocolate milkshakes and we talked long into the night.

Even in her disappointment, she kept thanking me for being there, for not leaving her alone. I told her of all my "new girl" experiences, we laughed until we cried. My wise little girl who now stands taller then me, held my hand and said, "Now I know how new kids feel. I'm not sorry I went. I will make friends. It's going to be okay."

"You're never alone," I repeated, trying to imprint it on her soul. But I went to bed crying and praying that her words would come true.

The overwhelming feelings of inadequacy and self-loathing and all the ugly feelings of the proverbial new girl in me resurfaced. I didn't just see in her a younger version of me standing at the edge of the group, I saw me today: the grown woman who still turns down invitations, spends more time alone than with people and constantly wonders if she will ever fit in.

I see my kids desire to blend with the group, be accepted for who they are. I see the same desire in me, even after all the graduations and time passed, it's still there.  I always come back to the same answer: Jesus loves me and I am enough just like I am.

I kissed my daughter on the first day of school and sent her off with prayers and the reminder that she is never ever alone. She met another new girl that first day.

Two weeks later, as I sat in the carline waiting for my daughter, I watched her walk out the door  laughing with a girl, a friend. I smiled as a couple of texts popped up on my phone from a few (in)courage sisters, "We miss you at the beach! We love you! Wish you were here."

I believed them. I believe Him.

And the new girl in me grew a little smaller, her voice not so loud.

For the "new girl" deep within you:

Tell her to never give up. Encourage her to keep trying. Help her pull down the walls she builds to protect her heart. Remind her she's not alone. Quiet her doubt. Be brave. Lose the self-loathing. Love her. And don't forget to remind her every day to accept His perfect love that casts out fear.

by Kristen Welch, We are THAT family

[Judy Harder]

The Power of Love
Oct 18, 2012 01:20 am | Angela Nazworth




Last month, Emily Freeman encouraged her readers to write a letter to their teenage selves. I participated in the project and also remembered another time in my life when I could have used a letter from the future:

Right after I got married.

Oh, how terribly selfish I was 13 years ago. Truth be known, a me-first streak still dances within my core ... but when I first got married, that streak ran wide, deep and wild. Combined with ridiculously high expectations and the fact that a healthy marriage requires hard work, my self-centered attitude reeled in heaps of confusion, bitterness and regret.

So if I could magically send a letter through the portals of time, here's what I'd write to my young, willful self.

Dear Angela:

You did it. You realized a dream that formed in your heart during girlhood. You got married. Beauty and happiness filled your wedding day. And about that man you promised yourself to ... let's just say you chose well.

Yeah, I know what you're thinking. You don't want to admit it ... not to anyone ... not even yourself, but you're thinking it. You're thinking that getting married might have been a big, fat mistake. You're wondering whether you're really "marriage material," because the past six months haven't exactly been a fairytale.

It's not that you don't love your husband. You do. And it's not that you doubt his love for you. You rightfully believe your new spouse adores you. In fact, knowing you are truly the only girl your man has ever loved still renders you breathless. To be someone's first and only romantic love is a gift without price.

But what you don't understand is the power love holds.

I'm not referring to love in its sugary, syrupy form. Don't get me wrong: Having an abundance of passion and romance in a marriage is important. But that type of love isn't enough.

Right now, I am talking about love that's laced with grit and tenacity. The kind of love that is not limited by perception, personal desires or tangible flaws. The kind of love that's a choice and not a mere feeling.

I'm referring to agape love ... God's love. The very same love that conquered the cross on Calvary is the only type of love capable of clobbering the attacks that routinely assault marriages.

So here's what I want you to do the next time you find yourself wondering if your marriage can survive:

Remember those eminent verses from 1 Corinthians. You know the ones I am writing about, because they often are recited at weddings.

Angela, don't just remember the words, live them.

Even when you're exhausted.
Even when you're sick.
Even when you're hurt.
Even when you're angry.
Even when you're lonely.
Even when you're tired of trying ... tired of listening ... tired of hoping.

You need to give love, accept love and live in love.

Here are a few examples of actionable ways to love your husband according to God's word.

Love is patient. Earning his Ph.D. will take more than seven years (I know, sweetie, I know). Encourage him every step of the way. And after he does earn that title ... well, life actually is going to get harder instead of easier. Breathe deeply and don't give up.

Love is kind. Don't allow your fears and feelings of inadequacy swindle you into thinking that it is acceptable to lash out at your husband.

Love does not envy. It does not matter how many of your friends moved into new houses with fancy furniture after their weddings. Don't waste a moment fretting about what you want and what you do not have. Instead, look at that man who pledged his life to you, and thank God for the priceless gift of unconditional love.

Love does not boast. And love is not proud. Love your husband, but don't try to out-love him. Marriage is not a competition. And when you make a mistake, admit it, apologize for it, accept forgiveness and let it go.

Love is not rude. And love is not self-seeking. Respect your husband and appreciate the man God created. And as you implement ideas to honor him and make him feel special, do not do so in the hopes of winning something from him in return.

Love is not easily angered ... it keeps no record of wrongs. Your first apartment together will measure less than 700 square feet. Believe it or not, you'll live in smaller. As you read this, money is tight, and it gets even tighter. You and your husband won't always agree. There will be plenty of opportunities for anger to barge in. Don't allow it to get the upper hand. Ever. And when your husband makes a mistake, accept his apology and bury the mistake in a pit as deep as the one in which you would want your mistakes to reside.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

In short, love is powerful. So very powerful. Use that power as it was intended to be used. Wield love not like a weapon, but like a healing agent.

You see, when you exchanged promises and rings with the love of your life, you signed up "for better and for worse, as long as you both shall live." And sometimes, there is a whole heap of worse before you see more of the better. But if you hold onto Christ, and love as He commands, your marriage will be draped with grace and blessing.

It won't be easy. Trust me, it will get messy and even downright ugly at times. But it will be worth it. It will be beautiful. And remember, you're not in it alone.

1 Corinthians 13: 1-9 (New American Standard Bible)

If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away.



By: Angela Nazworth





God's Invitation In the Midst Of the Storm
Oct 18, 2012 01:10 am | Dana Butler




Dear Friends,

I find myself lately in one of "those" seasons.  You know... when your heart is heavy over circumstances beyond your control... Maybe a relationship is failing; maybe your job is ending; maybe your child is not walking with the Lord....  And to be honest, it feels a little strange to be writing in order to encourage, while my own heart feels this grief so deeply.

Yet, deeper than the aching and louder than the shaking, this truth echoes in my heart:  That when we do share, real, raw, and honest in the midst of all the messiness of life and relationships and hearts... the Father comes then and fills our hurting places... these chasms in our hearts... with His glory, His strength that's perfected in our weakness... and His beauty pours forth out of pain.

And so... even with this heaviness of heart that feels so real and so acute lately, I want to share with you these things that I know... these truths that I hold onto, which are even MORE REAL than my earthly reality:

I know that though everything else is shaken, He is never moved.  My Father is unchanging, not at all rocked by these storms.  I know that He is my Anchor, my Strong Tower, my Shelter. 

And when the wind and waves crash all around me, His whisper to my heart is, "Peace, child, be still.  Trust Me now."

So, I choose that.  Today, I choose to respond to this invitation into peace and trust.  I lift my eyes to Heaven, remembering this promise:



"You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You." (Is. 26:3-4, NKJV)



Perfect peace.

He extends this invitation to us all... to me, right now, in the middle of my ache and uncertainty, and to you, whatever your storm.

So, reaching out to take hold of perfect peace, I turn my heart and eyes toward my Father... crying out this prayer from my depths, like a river flowing out of these aching chasms, a fragrant offering rising to His heart: "Father!  I believe that You are who You say You are...no matter what!" 

Standing with the wind howling in my face and the waves crashing all around me, I scream it out over the storm: "Father, YOU ARE GOOD, and YOUR MERCY ENDURES FOREVER.  You are GOOD, Father!  You ARE!! 

Your mercies are new today for me, and they sustain me through this moment...and the next...and the next. 

I MAGNIFY YOU, exalt You OVER my circumstances.  I fix my attention on You alone, and Your faithfulness fills my eyes until YOU are all I see.

I worship You, Lord... I place my hope in You... no matter what.  I trust You, God.  I trust Your heart toward me."

And suddenly... the tangible, overwhelming reality of this verse floods my heart, and I'm undone again by His tender love:



The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18 NIV)



And His invitation to us in the midst of all this shaking is to encounter Him deeply in the secret place....And in it all, what He's after is our hearts, that we would be wholly surrendered to His love.

I've found that in seasons like these, the sweetest intimacy with Him is found in the shadow of His wings... And I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Oh, my friends... May our hearts hear and respond to His invitations today, in the midst of our storms...whatever they look like.

Father, we hope in You, look to you, run into You, worship You... and we trust You to encounter us more deeply than we ever dreamed possible.



By: Dana Butler, Moments and Invitations

[Judy Harder]

How do you know when you've done enough?
Oct 19, 2012 01:20 am | Holley Gerth




We sit around a table at a local restaurant. My friends and I are sharing a dessert sampler {yum!}. The topic of conversation is guilt–but it's not because of the sugar this time.

Nope, we're talking about the guilt we feel in our everyday lives. The guilt it seems all women feel at one time or another.

Mine comes in a particular form, with a flavor as distinct as the slice of pie staring up at me from my plate. I tend to feel like what I do is never enough. I tell myself, "I'll rest when it's all done." But it's never all done.

My friends lean in gently, "Holley, you're a dreamer. You're always going to think of more than you can actually do."

I almost drop my spoon on the floor. Because that's it. Exactly it.

After that sentence it seems another comes to my heart from the One Who Loves Me...

"And I don't expect you to."

I lean back in my chair with a happy sigh. The guilt slides off my shoulders and slinks off to a corner somewhere.

Of course! We don't need to do everything we can think of to do. That would be called "works." We only need to say "yes" to what God asks of us, which is often far less than we imagine.

We do what we can and then we rest in grace.

This is the way we're meant to live.

I smile at my friends and tell them I feel grateful enough to give them the last piece of dessert on my plate.

Almost.

– Holley Gerth, {e}coach