Political Humor

[Jo McDonald]

A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Eric Holder said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

'Al-Gebra is a problem for us', the Attorney General said. 'They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.' They use secret code names like "X" and "Y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns" but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every triangle."

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes." White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President. It is believed that another Nobel Prize will follow.

[Patriot]

LOL

That's funny as all get out.  It would be beyond hilarious if it weren't within the realm of possibility these days!

[larryJ]

 

Jo, this is just too good.  Thanks for the post!

Larryj

[Janet Harrington]

 

[Teresa]

(((Thanks, Frank))) 

[Teresa]

Dear Abby~~~

          'I have always wanted to have my family history traced, but I
can't afford to spend a lot of money to do it.   Any suggestions?'
                Sam in California

DEAR SAM:  'Register as a Republican, and run for public office.'

               Abby

[Judy Harder]

This from a pastor friend of mine.jh

Psalm 2011   
I don't care who you are or what you believe,
this is funnneeee!!!
Obama Is the shepherd I did not want.
He leadeth me
Beside the still factories.
He restoreth my faith in the Republican party.
He guideth me in the path of unemployment
For his party's sake.
Yea, Though I walk through the valley of the bread line,
I shall fear no hunger, for his bailouts are with me. 

He has Anointed my income with taxes,
My expenses runneth over.
Surely, poverty and hard living will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will live in a mortgaged home forever.
I'm glad I am American,
I am glad that I am free, 

But I wish I was a dog,
And Obama was a tree! 

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Where does one get this sticker?

PRAY FOR YOUR PRESIDENT ! !

----- Psalm 109:8
My wife and I were in slow-moving traffic the other day and we were stopped behind
a car that had an unusual Obama bumper sticker on it.
It read: "Pray for Obama. Psalm 109:8".

When we got home my wife got out the Bible and opened it up to the scripture.
She started laughing & laughing. Then she read it to me.
I couldn't believe what it said. I had a good laugh, too.

Psalm 109:8 ~ "Let his days be few and brief; and let others step forward to replace him."

At last -- I can honestly voice a Biblical prayer for our president!
Look it up -- it is word for word! Let us all bow our heads and pray.
Brothers and Sisters, can I get an AMEN?   

   

 

[Warph]

The unemployed were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of government checks danced in their heads.
And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap.   

I rubbed my glasses and peered through the lens,
Only to see a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny Dems,
with the tall sprightly driver, so lively and merry,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Barry.           

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
"Now, Brown! Now, Cardin! Now, Leahy and Levin!
"On, Mikulski! On, Reid! On, Frank and Pelosi!           
"To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!
"Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;
Propelled by fresh money, the coursers they flew.         

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little goof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Barry came with a bound.   

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Only after pumping out money did he turn with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!   

He sprang to his sleigh, to his friends gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"Vote for me next fall, and to all a good-night!"