God's Heart for You.

[Judy Harder]

     

(in)courage
   

A Sunday Scripture

Oct 23 2011


"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?

So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

~Matthew 6:28-34

[Judy Harder]

     

(in)courage
   

What Women Fear: Week Four Guests
Who Do You Think You Are?
A Portrait of a Free Woman

Oct 24 2011



The words he prayed during the (in)courage beach retreat - before our (in)RL brainstorming session – struck me to my core:

"Tonight we're weaving together the fabric of Your kingdom." James Barnett, President of DaySpring.

Whether exploring new social media avenues or dreaming up creative products and cards to bless homes and lives, the heart of DaySpring beats to weave the love of Christ into everything it puts its name on.

Kristen Strong, Chasing Blue Skies

What Women Fear: Week Four Guests

We are so thankful to have Tam Hodge with us on Wednesday for chapter 6: fear of my past catching up with me, and Heather Whittaker on Friday for chapter 7: fear of not being significant. (If you have been doing Bloom since the beginning, you might remember that Tam did a guest post when we studied Crazy Love in 2009).
I accidentally introduced Heather a few weeks ago, so check out her bio here and Tam's below.

Blog: "InProgress"

Twitter: @tamhodge

Tell us about your family: Married my earth angel 20 years ago. Brent and I have two children, Kassidi-17 & Dakota-15. We are new to TN, as of this summer. Brent is a Campus Pastor at Cross Point Community Church (North Campus). Our kiddos are both very musical and are currently getting involved with Cross Points music ministry. I am in the process of writing my first book. And, we're all a bit crazy.

What type of fear you most struggle with: Failing. It used to be death, sadly. But, since watching my dear friend Sara begin her journey into Heaven's Glory, she has, once again, helped me see it all differently and given me new perspective.

What is your favorite book: Oddly..."The Heart Of The Artist" by Rory Noland. Having been involved in the music ministry for several years I've read this book a few times. It has served me well in many areas of life. It is a "checks and balance" kind of book. A reminder to examine your motives for doing things... ie: God's glory vs my glory.

Who Do You Think You Are?


Who are you? You could answer that question a million different ways. Mother, wife, sister, daughter, blogger, writer, administrator, caretaker, chef, PTA president, lawyer, clerk and/or minister. Women have so many cookie cutter roles in today's world it's hard to keep up with our own uniqueness.

What is it that's unique about you? Do you have a unique gift or talent? Is it that mesmerizing storytelling you do? Is it your uncanny ability to see into a person's soul? How about your flare for style? Do the words you write minister to hearts? Are children drawn to you? Does your paint brush flow beautifully across the canvas? Are you a natural leader or a "get her done" behind the scenes kind of gal?

Whether you can see it or not God has created you uniquely special to contribute something great to your world. Your world may be your home, office, community, church, blogging community, family, or friends. Think about your sphere of influence. That's your world.

The key to finding your unique gifts and talents is to think about what makes you passionate.

What career would you choose even if you received no pay for doing it? You'd do it just because you love it. For instance I'm doing mine right now. I write... for free... a lot. However I love it and I know God has called me to write for His kingdom. So I write whenever and wherever I can. I also have a passion to teach others so I do it. Only the Lord could place such strong passions inside me and because I love Him I follow His lead and do it.

Another way to find your uniqueness is to listen to what others say. "You're a really good listener." "Thanks for encouraging me. I feel so much better." "Thanks for helping me solve this problem." "We all think you should take charge of this project." "I needed prayer and I knew you were the one to call."
If you hear the same things over and over it could be confirmation of a certain gift. Be aware of how God is using you in the lives of others.

I have the gifts of encouragement and pastor/shepherd. God uses me to help encourage others to see their worth and value and to give them support in life. It can be overwhelming if I don't set boundaries but He is guiding me through that process.

There is no greater joy than sharing your passion with others. They are blessed and God is glorified through you. But sometimes I wonder if what I do is done in vain because I don't see results. I begin to doubt. Doubting is a lack of faith. A lack of faith weakens the passion for my calling. My enemy is happy and I am on my way to defeat. However I thank my Savior Jesus Christ that greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world. 1 John 4:4 So it is when the Holy Spirit reminds me of Who's I am and why I'm here that the doubt subsides. Faith takes over and I begin to live out of the passion inside me again.

Join me and many other unique women around the world in living out your passions for God's kingdom. I promise you will not regret moving ahead on this one.

What are your unique gifts and talents and how is God using you in your world? I'd love to hear about it.

A Portrait of a Free Woman


Peace runs deep.

Because he has spoken peace all over me, called me beautiful, Spirit-born, I fight my inner dark, choose this day the Holy.

The spaghetti in the pot smells good, my kitchen like oil, my bed like honey. Men know my man's good name. At home he's Daddy. He trusts me with his name, and he likes the way I wear it. He'd take the way I walk over a lottery win.

When I write I cry. Because I've been in the clutches of death, when I write I cry and I feel it deeply, and I know sometimes it's good. I know the Spirit moves when I'm not afraid to love anymore, not afraid to be loved. I'm not afraid to give my best work or afraid that I'll run out, and I'm not lazy in trying to get better.

When I go to Zumba, it makes me happy. I look in the mirror at all the women dancing nearly together, and we're smiling so much our teeth are dry. I love it when my legs feel strong.

I'm not like a lot of women I love and would love to be like, good at sewing or scrapping in a book. But I've words and stories, and I've learned the warm-all-over joy of realizing my gift and considering how it might bring good to my family, even though the 50′s model is something other than I am.

No use comparing ourselves or in being unkind toward or jealous of another. It's no use being worried we'll be misunderstood or forgotten; our security, our only good, is one well-placed fear. I tell you to stop and sing it as much as you can: All-Mighty, my fear is only with You, slain, worthy, Holy.

See the future? It makes me smile.

***

Now it's your turn. Do have a vision (a truth to live toward) of yourself as a Proverbs 31 Woman?

Might she look a little differently than you thought if you wrote about her in your own words?

post by Amber Haines

[Judy Harder]

     This is just beautiful and speaks a "mother's heart" Wonderful........and most precious! Judy

(in)courage
   

Tiger Mothers? Or the Making of Velveteen Mothers

Oct 25 2011

The fifth child, he turns nine now.

The child I didn't know I wanted.



He may or may not be the one who confused the scultping wax for playdough the other night and put it in the fridge by that can of molding spaghetti sauce.

He is the one that our doctor called The Beach Boy Baby, him with this mop of crazy curls, the son I shear like a lamb by the certain request of one Farmer.

When a well-intentioned woman in the produce section of Zehrs shakes a cucumber at our son — tells us that that little girl had the most beautiful blue eyes, the Farmer says right then, it's shearing time.

When all his wisps fall to the floor, I don't know how to sweep up sheer love.

More times than I can count I want to sweep that under the rug, what John Wesley said: "I learned more about Christianity from my mother than from all the theologians in England." This is not easy, being a mother, and it is a vocation, a calling, and God's Word, it will not return void.

Before I turn out the light in the washroom last night, I see a muddy remote control car that some boy left in the shower. I am not sure what that means. Malakai, all boy, he would tell me all about it. He would tell me with a lisp and words said far too fast and he would tell me loud. Others wouldn't understand but I would. His mother would.

I remember him before he came, those months when he grew within and made me green, and me laying my head against a cold window in the dark of night. Telling God I just didn't think I could, and I didn't know how, and how does a weary mother become the dwelling place of Christ?

There are dump trucks and wagons and tractors left out by the wheat field tonight.

I sit with them awhile.

I know I don't pass this way again many times.



Tonka yellow and how many sons and how many summers and the way a boy bends over dirt, prayers for God to make something big of his dust frame.

How many boys made men, right here, rising right up out of the ground?

I pick up a dump truck.

How can rusty, bent steel make a mama hurt for all that's slid away?

There are Tiger Mothers and there are Dragon Mothers, but if the years can be used to make a woman only into this: a Velveteen Mother.

A Velveteen Mother — made Real by the years — the way grace can happen to you. And not all at once — but you become. And grace becomes you.

To be just a Velveteen Mother: worn and weathered down to the exquisite beauty of the frame of the Cross.

It's the threadbare simplicity of the thing: a Velveteen mother — softened and strengthened by the years, rubbed down to the essence of Gospel — like the Lion Who sacrifices Himself as a Lamb.

And maybe that is all — a Velveteen Mother is a mother who keeps bending her worn knees with prayers that her child may walk straight paths. Never ceasing to pray for her own crooked heart.

Never forgetting — Train up a child in the way he should go and be ready to forgive him. The Way he should go is down a road named Grace.

Why do I forget that becoming Real — becoming a velveteen mother –  it will hurt in a thousand ways?

The weary and the wearing away and it the most beautiful part.

The six of them, they have made me sing and sob and they have made me know my sin. Strange, how hurting can heal. Strange, how sometimes we need what we don't even know we want. Strange, how He makes ashes into beauty.

I have loved it here — the wonder of them.

I move slow across the lawn, into home lights.

There are Raggedy Dolls still out on the old wooden ironing board there at the back door.

There are wrinkles I've made that there's no ironing out.

There is that  — the wearing of all the wrinkles out with love.



And I can feel this, how I carry this in, right there in my chest — God making something big of all this dust.

The Raggedies, the Tonkas, the one wondrous child after one — this wearing away of everything down to pure, holy love.

This all the learning that matters —

love the indwelling of all the realest real.
::

::

::

~ Ann Voskamp


Q4U:

How has motherhood hurt and healed you?

How is it making you realest most beautiful real?


Tell us about where you are in your personal mothering journey? How can we pray with you?


Join the conversation by clicking here...

[Judy Harder]

His love is as gentle
as freshly fallen snow,
His peace is the quiet place
our hearts can go.

     

(in)courage
   

What Women Fear: Chapter Six

Oct 26  2011

We can't believe we are already halfway through What Women Fear. The discussion with each chapter in the comments has been so vulnerable and encouraging. Thank you to everyone who has shared their stories, prayer requests and wisdom.

Today we are discussing chapter six with Tam Hodge.

From Angie:


Tam has an amazing story. She's very open about it and I encourage you to visit her blog to hear more from her. Many years ago, she had an abortion and walked through some very dark days. I know bits and pieces of her story, and every time I'm with her I want to know more because they are all like little pieces of a quilt that I want to piece together and see the finished product. She is a work of art and an inspiration of what it looks like to walk away from a past that could have swallowed her and instead walk right into the place where God's great grace is on full display for all to see. You will be so blessed by her heart.

We hope you are blessed by our discussion today.



And if you haven't been participating, or are a bit behind with your reading, that's okay! You can always find the posts here on (in)courage, so watch the videos at your own pace and share your thoughts anytime.

We are thankful  to journey through this book with you.

Love,

Ang and Jess

Who's Your Daddy?


I have been wanting to write about this for some time but, didn't really know how to convey it.

It's like a large Thank You card to God Himself.

Three years ago this November I watched my mother pass from this life to an eternal life. She left me before I was ready. She died of ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease) which constantly takes from a person and we (medical or not) are ill equipped to stop the process. Laurie Sgambelluri was an amazing mother. Strong, stubborn, giving, affectionate, wise and encouraging. When she left, I struggled. I would go through moments when I almost thought she was still here, like I smelled her or faintly heard her voice in another room and if I could move fast enough, I could catch a glimpse of her. It was like we had just embraced and let go. In those brief moments, between phantom feelings and reality, I would feel the loss of her fall fresh on me.

Father God stayed with me.

He carried me. He cried with me. He took my blows when I had no one to pummel. He created space for me to grieve.

Then lovingly, He set my feet on the floor. He moved me forward. He restored my heart. He deepened my faith.

Then, the undeserved things started to happen; He gave me ministry. One that grew and reminded me about love, humility and leading.

And then...one summer day on vacation with my husband and children. The Creator of the Universe, loved me enough to be not only my Father, Director, Lord and King but my daddy.

He let me be in a parade in at Disney World! No, seriously! Disney World! We were walking along and a man starting speaking to my husband, Brad, and asking us to come back to these gates at 4pm and we would participate in the afternoon parade. We were placed on a large float shaped like a turquoise bird. They outfitted us in pith helmets complete with mickey ears and a safari vest. The music began, the enormous gates opened and we moved. The waving came very natural to me, no demure parade wave for this Italian girl, I was full out, straight armed, fingers stretched, waving! A Disney photographer followed us along the parade route and took photos and it was one of the BEST days of my life!

And my sweet Father in Heaven, who sacrificed His Son for me knew it would be.

Matthew 6:8 says For your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him

You can challenge me and tell me God would not sully Himself by caring about a little parade route in Florida, I would object, maybe not openly, as I love the Word and see your point, but inwardly, I would feel a little sad for you. My Dad loves me like this. He loves me shockingly, openly, with discipline and grace.

And yes, He loves me with parades at Disney World.

I want to know;  when has He loved you just as Unabashedly?  I know I am not the only one who has God's love heaped upon them?  What is your story of your Daddy's great love for you?

By: Tonia Booker, With-Pencil

[Judy Harder]

Because People Are More Interesting Than Statistics

27 Oct 2011
We ride through the Pennsylvania trees on our way to the Relevant conference – two and half hours of open road and autumn miles — mere appetizers for girl talk; we can't wait to dig in.

I ask her about writing – about her voice and what it sounds like this last semester of college. She asks me about social media and the public conversation that is a place like Twitter and how's a girl to feel heard when she's not comfortable shouting in a room full of strangers.

I know farmer's wives and  brave authors who feel just the same way.

Sometimes it's hard to know when to speak and when to listen. Sometimes it's even harder to speak when you think no one's listening.

And when we pass the big grain silo and the barn with red paint peeling raw against the cornfield horizon, she asks if her voice matters. If there are only one or two who come to see what she's sharing at her blog, is hitting publish still important?

This question scratches at me too.

And I'll be asking and answering and sharing ideas about it on Saturday. But for now as we weave our way toward Harrisburg, I think about how social media gives us powerful ways to build, to connect, to give. How it hands us new and wonderful ways to live that old and grand command to love our neighbors as ourselves.

It is a dead end to pursue social media in the hopes of building more followers. Numbers are a house of sand, washed easily away on a whim.

But to build community – to build  a place rich with the stories and faces and hopes and dreams of others – to build for them, that is rock solid foundation for the only Message that matters.

I tell her, perhaps it's not about who doesn't come to read, it's about who does. And are we prepared for them? What will we feed the hungry who pull up chairs to our blog table?

Forget the hundreds you wish would come; feed the hungry who are already there.

Feed them your best. Lay out your story and your life and your generous love for them. Perhaps our blogs are only as big as our hospitality. Because platforms can be lonely and spotlights too bright, but no one ever felt unwelcome in that overstuffed armchair pulled up by the fire, with feet up on the coffee table, and a good friend telling you it's OK to be you.

Perhaps less is more in the comment box just like it is in life. Especially if it gives you time to respond, to encourage, to enjoy the company and conversation of comments for what they really are – people with stories as thick and dog-eared as your own.

One on one, we don't need to shout. The room isn't crowded. And truth spills out when you hit publish – even at a whisper.

by Lisa-Jo, lover of social media and believer that it's great power can be harnessed for great good.

[Judy Harder]

     

(in)courage
   
What Women Fear: Chapter Seven
Overcoming Jealousy
More
What Women Fear: Chapter Seven

Oct 28 2011

Today we are discussing chapter seven of What Women Fear with Heather Whittaker.

From Angie:

Heather is one of my closest friends, and I can't tell you how grateful I am that she has moved close to me. I love the way she pulls people out of themselves and strives for life-change and commitment to relationship. She loves deep and she loves well. Like all of us, she has her stories of loss and redemption. She has walked through seasons of life that could have stolen her heart and pulled her away from the Lord, but instead she is such a bright light for others. She is one of the most ruthlessly dedicated people I have ever known, and I wanted her to do this chapter because I wanted to know if she had feelings of insignificance. I loved hearing her heart in this...you will as well. Thank you, Heather.

We look forward to hearing your thoughts as well!

Love,

Angie and Jess

Overcoming Jealousy

Source: ticklekitten.blogspot.com via Jessica on Pinterest
I have a difficult confession to share today.

Lately I have found myself playing the jealousy game.

And it is wearing. me. out.

She is skinnier than me.

Look at that outfit, she must be rich.

I wish we had a minivan like that. (side note: yes, I'm a dork. I really want a minivan)


I wish our house would sell fast like their's did.

Why does that blogger always get to go on trips?

Does Satan challenge torment you to a match of jealousy?

Who's winning?

For awhile I have let my jealous thoughts come and go as they please. I didn't  even really recognize them jealousy. Instead, I thought I was just "observing" things.

mmmhhmmmmm.


But as I have prayed and asked God to show me sin in my life, my jealousy has come to the forefront of my mind.

God has shown me through His word that jealousy is a sin that impacts my relationship with Him and so many aspects of life. Read these verses:

James 3:14-16 says: But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.

Galatians 5:19-21: Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Proverbs 14:30: A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot

Clearly, jealousy should have no place in my heart.

And so, every time a jealous thought enters my mind, I flip the thought and give thanks.

Instead of I wish we had a minivan like that, I give thanks for the two paid-off vehicles we have.

Instead of I wish our house would sell fast like their's did, I praise God for his perfect timing for when we DO sell our house.

Gratitude heals and prevents jealousy.

Do you ever struggle with jealousy? Today, I want to encourage you  to pray over the verses in this post and ask God to open your eyes to the many blessings in your life.

You might also check out Ann Voskamp's book One Thousand Gifts if you are interested in learning more about living a life of gratitude. I am reading it for the third time right now. I also love this family gratitude journal for cultivating a grateful lifestyle in my family.


- Jessica Turner, The Mom Creative

More

We live in a world that suggests bigger is better and that the grass is always greener on the other side. We try to keep up with the Jones's. A nationwide electronic chain store now even offers a buy-back program...they will buy back your "old" TV (you know, the one you bought three months ago) when the new version comes out. Because we MUST have the newest version of everything.

I feel the pressure in my own life, too. My husband and our three children live in a modest, just-over 1000 square-foot home with three bedrooms, one bathroom and half a basement. Pretty much every wall, corner, closet and shelf is occupied. And I suppose, if I tried hard enough, I could squeeze my van into our garage in case of a hail storm. But I may not get it back out.

I would love to have a larger home with bedrooms for each of the kids, or at least an extra bedroom that would serve as a playroom...because for some reason our kids refuse to play in our basement. Oh, and I would love to have a dedicated office for bills, writing and all the other adventures I have taken on lately.

I want a driveway all our own instead of sharing one with our neighbor. I want a screened-in patio, a double car garage, a large storage shed, a workshop for my husband, a full basement and a second bathroom .

I want the A/C and DVD player to get fixed in the van and my husband could use a newer pick-up with a bed cover for storing tools and his fire gear. He also would like a raise at his job because he hasn't gotten one in over three years due to budget issues.

My oldest daughter wants a new dress for picture day.

Oh, and world peace would be nice, too.

But do any of these things actually matter? (Well, except world peace, of course.) Because if we got all of these things, wouldn't we just find other things that we want instead? Wouldn't we still want more?

We spend our lives constantly seeking more of everything, except the one thing we should be seeking more of.

Him.

So today I throw my wish list in the fire. I surrender to the fact that there is One who provides all of my needs. Even without my 1000 square foot home. Even without half a basement or....even without actually possessing anything...He is enough.

He is what we need more of.

By Sarah Hawbaker, In Total Disarray

[Judy Harder]

     

(in)courage
   

A Sunday Scripture

Oct 30 2011

Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.

~Habakkuk 3:17-18
 

A Word of Peace
Peace I leave with you;
My peace I give you.
-- JESUS

Praying the Lord will
comfort you with His peace...
surround you with His love...
encourage you with His presence.

[Judy Harder]

What Women Fear: Week Five Guests

Oct 31 2011

This week we will be chatting with two women you have already met – Jenny Acuff on Wednesay and Trisha Davis on Friday.
Also, just a reminder, our study of What Women Fear concludes next week. We will be covering chapter 10 on Monday and then Ang will wrap things up for us next Wednesday.
It sure has gone fast, hasn't it?
Talk with you soon!
In Him,

Ang and Jess
on pursuing...

Sitting by her hospital bed, I stroked her hair.  She was my miracle; the one that I had pursued with and for over the last 9 years. I looked over at the medicine pumps on the poles that we had drug around the Intensive Care Unit over the past 3 months.

15.

Fifteen pumps on 3 poles.  I put my hand on  her chest, and felt it rhythmically going up and down with the help of a machine.   I remember what I told her the day she was born, "I will fight for you for as long as you fight."

I whispered those exact words into her ear while I pressed my head against her cheek.

I remember the scripture that was heavy on my heart those four and a half months that she spent in NICU, waiting for a heart transplant:

"Pursue: for you shall surely overtake them, and without fail recover all."  ~1 Samuel 30:8b


Sitting In ICU, 9 years later, I wondered what that verse meant now.  I wondered what I had pursued for and what to do with all that "pursuing".  I didn't "recover all" because I knew she wouldn't be coming home this time..

Emma Grace passed away on Good Friday.  April 22, 2011.

She had recovered all.

She had pursued all that she could.

Which meant that my pursuing with her was over.

Yet, my pursuing with my Savior was far from that.

I thought I was prepared for that day.

I  so was not.

I didn't know what to do with myself.  One day I was sitting by her bed, stroking her hair; the next day she just wasn't there.  I really struggled with what to "be" with out her here.  I was always "Emma's Mom".

I was lost without her.

I still am.

I knew of Gods grace because He allowed her to be born. I knew of Gods mercy because he always brought her home.

I am learning His sovereignty, because this last time He didn't...

5+ months later, I am still learning about His sovereignty.  I am still learning what "pursuing" truly means.  Not a day goes by that I do not miss my little girl, but I can pursue through this pain because I know that this life is just a speck in time.  I know that I will see her and touch her again.  I know that my ways are not His ways, even though that is so hard to understand.

And I know that she is looking down, saying "Mom, if you could only see what I see..."

And that makes the "pursuing" so very worth it....

{if you haven't read the  book "Choosing to See" by Mary Beth Chapman or listened to  the CD "Beauty Will Rise" by Steven Curtis Chapman, I highly recommend you do so.  Also if you have lost a child, I highly recommend the book "Praying through Sorrows" by Christ Jackson and Dutch Sheets. I also recommend "Heaven" by Randy Alcorn, which gives a very biblical  description of what Heaven looks like.}


This Is Your Daughter Speaking


Hi Mom.

I can tell you're a little surprised to see me here.

Perhaps that's because, until now, you thought I could only do two things: eat and cry. Or perhaps you're surprised I followed you here, since lately I seem interested in anything except what you say and do. Or perhaps you even thought I'd forgotten about you, all the way out there in "the real world".

Well, no matter what you're thinking, I want to share a few things with you.

First of all, I do hear you.

It may seem like I'm not listening, but I am picking up so much. It is true that there are times when your instructions run right through my ears, but I always hear you say,  "I love you." I always hear you say, "I'm proud of you."

Oh, and I always hear you when you say, "I'm disappointed in you," but I know that this doesn't change your love for me.

I hear you sing the Winnie-The-Pooh theme song 468 times in the car just so I won't cry and in the middle of the grocery store (even though everyone stares at you).

I hear you praying silently for me when I'm already up on stage, in costume and can't remember a single line (even though you told me I should practice them).

I hear you calling to make sure everything's lined up for play dates and dentist appointments and to see if I got there safely, because I forgot to call when I arrived...again.

I hear you sigh at the end of a long day and tell Dad that you sometimes wonder if you're getting through at all.

Well, you are.

Secondly, I am watching you.

Though sometimes I act like I don't care, I am watching you. I'm watching you work hard to take care of our family and when you read your Bible late at night after you think we're all in bed. I'm watching when you run your fingers through your hair and look up to heaven, straight through the laundry room ceiling, as if to say, "All this and laundry too, Lord?"

I'm watching you check the rearview mirror a hundred times to make sure that yes, I'm still in the car, safely buckled in. I'm watching you check my temperature with a thermometer and, not satisfied; check it with the back of your hand.

I'm watching when you greet dad at the door and when you let him make the final decision (even though you're right). I'm watching when you pay stacks of bills and check price tags and put off dreams.

I'm watching when you almost tell me that what I'm wearing is weird and my haircut does not make me look older, but I'm also watching when you smile and tell me that I am a beautiful no matter what.


I see it, Mom.


Third, I was God's daughter first.

Even if I sometimes seem to be far from heavenly, remember that I am a child of God. The whole time I was kicking and flipping and growing inside of you, He was knitting me together.

When you held me for the first time and wondered if you were going to be a good mom, when you packed my backpack for Kindergarten and wondered if you'd been a good teacher, when you watched me speed off down the road and wondered how you were ever going to protect me now, God was in control.

You're not alone, you're not a failure and to me, you're everything.

Thanks Mom.

Love,

Your Daughter

{Everly Pleasant of Clickety-Clack}

[Judy Harder]

   

Truth Within

  Nov 1 2011

Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts, And in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom. Psalm 51:6 NKJV

What is at your core? What abides within, at the deepest part of who you are? If truth is there, if light is there, if peace is there, if hope is there, if joy is there, if love is there—Christ is there!

This is my wonderful story—

Christ to my heart has come;

Jesus the King of glory,

Finds in my heart a home.

Was there e'er story so moving,

Story of love and pain;

Was there e'er Bride-groom so loving,

Seeking our hearts to gain?

Now in His bosom confiding,

This my glad song shall be:

I am in Jesus abiding,

Jesus abides in me.

–A. B. Simpson

[Judy Harder]

The marvel outside your door...

Nov 1 2011

What do you do when doubt threatens to extinguish your faith? When you're tethered to God by gossamer thread, invisible strands of grace that you can neither see nor feel? When life's circumstance is earthquake beneath your feet?

job loss has forced you to distinguish want and need and now even your needs are threatened
a medical diagnosis, unexpected and cruel, affecting you or those you love best
a child who thinks the fight is against you, a not-yet prodigal you pray will come back
a church experience that has wounded you or church leaders who have disappointed
Or maybe your faith is shaken by the mundane of everyday loss and void, a lackluster marriage, a less-than-fulfilling job, unrealized expectations....

Maybe the very dailiness of life has made you weary, questioning God...or worse, questioning if there is a God.

There's a remedy you might be overlooking...


Go outside.
Go outside with wide eyes and open ears and tender heart, and see and hear and experience the presence of Almighty God.

What are you waiting for? Go!

* * * * *

I struggle with doubt; I hate it. It shames me. It makes me feel unworthy to write for this beautiful (in)courage community. So many brilliant, accomplished writers and readers who are doing Big Kingdom Things.

Comparison is gasoline fueling doubt's fire. Comparing yourself to anyone is dangerous; it can consume you.
And it's sin — you're in essence discounting the things of God.

When you're comparing yourself to others, you're disregarding who God says you are–beautiful, chosen, redeemed, loved, forgiven.

Mercy...I'm preaching to myself....

* * * * *

Could it be...could it p o s s i b l y be...that God allows me to write in this space because someone can relate?

* * * * *

I go outside.

I breathe in all of Creation in a single breath. I marvel, truly marvel at the millions of systems in place that sustain life on Planet Earth.

Beginning with the miracle of human life, my life–respiratory, vascular, muscular, neurological functions, everything that has to go right simply for me to live!

Seasons–what delight, this change of seasons! Each one, a marvel in itself, but now, we see Autumn and her glory! The chill of air, leaves' kaleidoscopic metamorphosis, trees ablaze then stripped bare.

An anthill with a thousand tiny soldiers marching to their orders...

The spill and crash of a waterfall, a furious beauty to hear and see, and if you're close enough, feel...

A seed, then a sprout, then a bud, now a flower! How we take for granted the phenomenon we call a flower! Look at them with new eyes.

A spider, master craftsman, spinning a home from her body, a trap for her prey, and a curiosity to observe.

Are you sensing the wonder?

When I go outside I step into a masterpiece.  Creation.   A gift from God to behold and enjoy, a conduit to see His glory ~
The heavens declare the glory of God,
and the sky above proclaims his handiwork. ~ Psalm 19:1

When I take my focus off myself and seek the face of God, my doubt can't help but fade. The refrain from an old church hymn strums the chord of heart and memory–

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.

Doubt cannot co-exist in the presence of God.
And though God's presence never leaves me through the indwelling of His Spirit, sometimes I need a reminder.  I'm thankful, gratitude overflowing, for his gracious faithfulness...

And it's always waiting for me just outside my door.

* * * * *

~ Robin Dance, PENSIEVE

And if you're a parent of teens or tweens and have interest,  I joined Nester & company for 31 days, sharing my best thoughts on navigating these years as a parent.  It doesn't have to be a season of dread!