Warph Wire Alert: Thinking

[Warph]

Guys, I have a confussion to make.  I used to think too much.  It started out innocently enough.  I began to think at parties now and then just to loosen up.  Inevitably, though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker.  I began to think alone...."to relax," I told myself... but I knew it wasn't true.  Thinking became more and more important to me and finally, I was thinking all the time.

That was when things began to sour at home. One evening I turned off the TV and asked the wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night at her cousin's. 

Then I began to think on the job.  I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't help myself.  I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau, Muir, Confucius and Kafka.  I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "Now tell me, exactly what is it we are doing here?"

One day my publisher called me in.  He said, "Listen, I like you Warph and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem.  If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job."   This gave me a lot to think about.  I came home early after my conversation with the boss.  "Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking..." '

"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I'm leaving you!"

"But Honey, surely it's not that serious."

"It is serious," she said, lower lip a quivering.  "You think as much as college professors and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking, we won't have any money!" 

"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently.

She exploded in tears of rage and frustration, but I was in no mood to deal with the emotional drama.  "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door.

I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche.  I roared into the parking lot with NPR on the radio and ran up to the big glass doors.  They didn't open!  The library was closed! 

To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night.  Leaning on the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye, "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked.  You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinkers Anonymous poster.

This is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker.

I never miss a TA meeting.  At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was 'Porky's,' week before it was 'Dumb & Dumber.'  Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting.  I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home.  Life just seemed easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.  I think the road to recovery is nearly complete for me.


Today I took the final step... I joined the Democratic Party.

[Catwoman]

LOL   

[Hefe de vaca]

      You make it worth getting online Warph. I wish I had your wit, but I'll borrow Elizabeth Barrett Browning.


   " There's too much abstract willing, purposing,       In this poor world. We talk by aggregates,        And think by systems, and being used to face         Our evils in statistics, are inclined         To cap them with unreal remedies,        Drawn out in haste on the other side of the slate."

[greatguns]

Happy for your road to recovery.  This place could use a few more non-thinkers! 

[Warph]

Love Elizabeth... my kind of woman.  They don't make them like that anymore... except maybe CatWomen and, yes... Pam.

Since i'm now a non-thinker now, I could have ended it, not "joining the democratic party" but, "joining the Marine Corp."  But for some reason I felt I shouldn't go there... my brother who reads this forum from time to time would have killed me.

[sodbuster]

Warph, now that you are a non-thinker and a Democrat I feel should you  come visit me we can go to Peet's in Berkeley. You vcan tell me your story of gong from a dem to a smart person and back to a non-thinker. I will also, take you to visit with Nancy Pelosi your deer in the headlights leader. Then we can go shoot my 50 cal. black powder pistol. I may have to withdraw my support for the Warph\Slappy campaign for President since you are now a Democrat.

David


David

[readyaimduck]

Morph, that was great!
I do have to say that I used to be a heavy thinker, but joining parties of non-thinkers was just too .....unthinkable.
So, if I go off the wagon of thinking, will that make me a Repulican?   <<<<shudders
What I am thinking is ......what is in that glass that is of the Democratic party?  a non-thinking kool-aid?

ready and thirsty

[sodbuster]

Warph, you have been thinking for a long time and very heavily for that matter. I feel you have been on a thinking binge for the last several days. With the Presidential election coming up I think you will be thinking even more than you have for the past few days. I would love to sit down and think with you, but that would make me an enabler for your thinking problem. You aren't fooling anyone you are still thinking. No matter how much you try to convince us that you are a Democrat we know the real truth.

David

[Warph]

 Ah, David.... as I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself.  I've become my own friend without having to think about it.  

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging and not having to think about it.

Whose business is it if I choose to think, read or play on the computer until 4 AM or sleep until noon?  I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 &70's, and if I, at the same time, wish  to weep over a lost love... I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body and not think about anything and will dive into the waves with  abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the so-called "jet set."

They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful.  But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten not having to think about it.  But.. I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken.  How can your heart not  break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car?  But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion.  A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have  my hair turning gray... and to have my youthful laughs be forever  etched into deep grooves on my face and not have to think about it..

So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair turned gray.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive.  You care less about  what other people think.  I don't question myself anymore... I don't think about it.

I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old and a non-thinker.  It has set me free.  I like the person I have become.  I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time thinking or lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be.  

And I shall eat dessert every single day if I feel like it.... and not have to think about it.  

[thatsMRSc2u]

  glad I read this first today.