Happy Independence Day

[Judy Harder]

Confession
Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses. - 1 Timothy 6:12

In the Bible, the word "confess" means "to speak the same thing." So when it tells us to confess, it means we're to say the same thing God says—to agree with Him—about the attitudes and actions of our lives.

As you can see, then, confession has two aspects: speaking the truth about ourselves and the truth about God.

For example, if we're confessing greed, we can also confess God's promise to supply our needs.  The Bible says the same God who takes care of you will supply all your needs from His glorious riches, which have been given to you in Christ Jesus.

"We own up to minor failings, but only so as to convince others that we have no major ones." - La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680)

[Judy Harder]

Learning Through Suffering

Now if we are children, then we are heirs-heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

Romans 8:17   

Like many other Christians, my parents thought that if they honored God and dedicated their children to the Lord, they'd somehow be shielded from pain, suffering, and life's difficult realities. Learning that their son—my brother Jerry—was dying of AIDS helped them to see that this belief was false.

My parents wrestled not only with losing Jerry but also with their own feelings of guilt.  They wondered what they could've done differently to keep their son from a homosexual lifestyle. Sorrow and regret consumed them.

Yet God used that terrible incident to mold and deepen my parents' faith.  Suffering brought them face-to-face with change they'd never anticipated.  It was in that dark and painful crucible that my parents learned about compassion, courage, forgiveness, and repentance.  Their hearts were truly broken, but they were also truly changed.

You, too, can and should learn from suffering.  Don't be angered by it.  Don't come out the other side a bitter person.  Look at your suffering as an intimacy with Christ—a time to sense his love and compassion, and to grow to trust Him and grow closer to Him.

"Complete success alienates a man from his fellows, but suffering makes kinsmen of us all. " -     Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915)

[Judy Harder]

Living a Positive Legacy

And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable men who will also be qualified to teach others. - 2 Timothy 2:2

Did you know the Nobel Peace Prize is named after Alfred Nobel, the Swedish industrialist who invented dynamite?  How did this come to be?

When Alfred's brother died, a newspaper mistook him for Alfred. It printed his obituary with the headline, "The Merchant of Death Is Dead," describing Alfred as a man who made his fortune helping people kill one another.

He was cut to the heart and vowed to change his legacy.  When Alfred really died eight years later, he left $9 million to fund awards for people whose work benefited humanity—thus, the birth of Nobel Peace Prizes.

Alfred Nobel was given a rare gift: the opportunity to read his own obituary, and make changes before it was too late.  What might you do if given the same opportunity?

"If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else. -Booker T. Washington (1856-1915)   

[Judy Harder]

Handling Anger

Matthew 5:20-22

We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

Some of us realize that all that's kept us from committing murder was the lack of opportunity at the moment we were in touch with the depth of our rage. Maybe we can stuff our ugly emotions down deep most of the time, only venting them when we're caught off guard or under the influence.

The law of Moses clearly says, "You must not murder" (Exodus 20:13). Moses went on to explain, "If someone hates another person and pushes him or throws a dangerous object at him and he dies, it is murder. Or if someone hates another person and hits him with a fist and he dies, it is murder. . . . But suppose someone pushes another person without having shown previous hostility, or throws something that unintentionally hits another person, or accidentally drops a huge stone on someone, though they were not enemies, and the person dies. If this should happen, the community must follow these regulations in making a judgment" (Numbers 35:20-24). Jesus taught, "You have heard that our ancestors were told, 'You must not murder. If you commit murder, you are subject to judgment.' But I say, if you are even angry with someone, you are subject to judgment" (Matthew 5:21-22).

If we took the time to think about it, we may realize that we're still in danger because of the rage burning beneath the surface. In order for our recovery to be complete, we must dig up the anger, vent it appropriately, and let it go. This is a vital part of our recovery process, which we dare not neglect.

Unresolved anger becomes a violation of God's command to love.

[Judy Harder]

A Debt of Love

Romans 13:8-10

We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

While under the influence of an addiction, we end up hurting ourselves, others we don't know, and those we love the most. We may be horrified at how we could have done such things to the people we love. Does that mean we don't love them? Or how could the people we love have done such things to us? Does that mean that they don't love us? What conclusions are we to draw from the sin that stabs at our lives?

"Owe nothing to anyone-except for your obligation to love one another. If you love your neighbor, you will fulfill the requirements of God's law. For the commandments say, 'You must not commit adultery. You must not murder. You must not steal. You must not covet.' These-and other such commandments-are summed up in this one commandment: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' Love does no wrong to others, so love fulfills the requirements of God's law" (Romans 13:8-10).

At first glance we may conclude from this passage that anyone who practices the evils warned against in the Ten Commandments couldn't have love for others. But it may actually show us that when we hurt the ones we love, maybe we are loving them the way we love ourselves-very poorly. May God help us to love ourselves, so that we may learn to love others also.

It is our calling in life to love others and ourselves as God has loved us.

[Judy Harder]

Overcoming Envy

Hebrews 13:5-6

We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

A major part of recovery deals with our tendency to create and live in a fantasy world. We escape the painful realities of our lives momentarily and trade them in for experiences that feel good. The pathway that leads to our addiction is paved with desires for the things, relationships, and experiences that we see in the lives of others and don't have ourselves.

One of the lesser known of the Ten Commandments says, "You must not covet your neighbor's house. You must not covet your neighbor's wife, male or female servant, ox or donkey, or anything else that belongs to your neighbor" (Exodus 20:17; see also Deuteronomy 5:21). Jesus also warned, "Beware! Guard against every kind of greed. Life is not measured by how much you own" (Luke 12:15). The writer of Hebrews said, "Don't love money; be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, 'I will never fail you. I will never abandon you'" (Hebrews 13:5).

Modern society and commercial advertising are designed to breed discontent. This is a threat to our recovery because it leads us into an emotional fantasy world. We need to make an inventory of the greed and covetousness lodged in our hearts and minds. Then we must treat these problems like a poison that will hurt us if allowed to remain in our lives.

Since only God can meet all our needs, true contentment can only be found in him.
 

[Judy Harder]

Freedom through Confession

Romans 2:14-15

We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

All of us struggle with our conscience, trying to make peace within ourselves. We may try to deny what we've done, find excuses, try to squirm out from beneath the full weight of our conduct. We may work hard to be "good," trying to counteract our wrongs. We do everything we can to even out the internal score. In order to put the past to rest, we must stop rationalizing and admit the truth.

We are all born with a built-in buzzer that alerts us to what is wrong. God holds everyone accountable. "They know his law when they instinctively obey it, even without having heard it. They demonstrate that God's law is written in their hearts, for their own conscience and thoughts either accuse them or tell them they are doing right" (Romans 2:14-15).

Part of Step Five is to stop this internal struggle and admit that wrong is wrong. It's a time to agree with God and our own conscience about our cover-up and the exact nature of our wrongs. We're like people who have been accused of crimes which they actually committed. We may have spent years constructing alibis, coming up with excuses, and trying to plea-bargain. It's time to come clean. It's time to admit what we know deep down inside to be true: "Yes, I'm guilty as charged."

There is no real freedom without confession. What a relief it is to finally give up the weight of our lies and excuses. When we do confess, we will find the internal peace that we lost so long ago. We will also be one step closer to full recovery.

Admitting our failures is an essential step to forgiveness and healing.

 

[Judy Harder]

God, Our Friend

Hebrews 4:14-16

We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

Going to God can be scary. We may associate God with a condemning judge, a brutal father, or some other frightful image. Before we will be able to admit our wrongs to God, we'll need to feel confident that he is on our side.

In ancient times, people could not approach God on their own. The high priest would offer a sacrifice to cover their sin and then bring them before God. The high priest was on their side, even though he had to acknowledge and deal with their sins. We have someone on our side, too. "Since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most" (Hebrews 4:14-16). "Since he himself has gone through suffering and testing, he is able to help us when we are being tested" (Hebrews 2:18).

We don't have to fear admitting our wrongs to God. In him we have a friend who understands our struggles and our suffering. When we go to him we won't have to flee from his condemnation. We will be welcome to stay at the throne of God to receive mercy. He will give us the grace we need in our struggle to recover.

When we face our wrongs, God understands and is able to help us.

[Judy Harder]

Overcoming Denial

Genesis 38:1-30

We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

Admitting our wrongs to ourselves can be the most difficult part of Step Five. Denial can be blinding! How can we be expected to admit to ourselves those things we are blind to? Here's a clue that can help us. We will often condemn in others the wrongs most deeply hidden within ourselves.

According to ancient Jewish law, a widow was entitled to marry the surviving brother of her husband in order to produce children. Tamar had been married successively to two brothers who died without giving her children. Her father-in-law, Judah, promised to give her his younger son also, but he never did. This left her alone and destitute. In an effort to protect herself, she disguised herself as a prostitute and became pregnant by Judah himself. And she kept his identification seal (Genesis 38:1-23).

When Judah heard that Tamar was pregnant and unmarried, he demanded her execution. "But as they were taking her out to kill her, she sent this message to her father-in-law: 'The man who owns these things made me pregnant. . . . Whose seal and cord and walking stick are these?' Judah recognized them immediately and said, 'She is more righteous than I am'" (Genesis 38:25-26).

It won't be easy to be honest with ourselves. "The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked" (Jeremiah 17:9). However, we can look at those things we condemn in others as a clue to what may be lurking within ourselves.

It takes great courage to be honest with ourselves about ourselves.

[Judy Harder]

Healing through Confession

James 5:16-18

We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

Most of us resist the thought of admitting our wrongs to another person. We may think, Isn't it enough to admit my faults to myself and to God? Why should I humiliate myself before another person who is no better than I am?

It seems that there is healing power in the act of telling another person. James wrote, "Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results" (James 5:16). The apostle Paul also commented on this: "Share each other's burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself " (Galatians 6:2-3).

We may laugh at the thought of finding a "righteous person" to confide in. We needn't worry; the word James uses doesn't mean self-righteous. He is referring to someone who is right in fulfilling duties both with God and man. This kind of person will be just and without prejudice, already made right with God through personal confession. Someone with this kind of righteousness won't be prejudiced against us.

When we find someone who has already dealt honestly with his struggle, our burden can be made lighter by sharing our own. Our confessor will also be able to pray for us in an understanding way. Such prayer can really make a positive impact on our recovery.

Confessing our faults opens up our lives to God's healing power.