Observations

[larryJ]

I have observed over the years and more commonly in recent times, that when I go on to the next life, the world will end in chaos.
Well, my world.

The following is what will transpire in this chaos.  The regular text is the conversation or action that takes place.  The parenthesis is what I am silently thinking.

Computer:  One of them, the cousin, is somewhat proficient in computers and doesn't require much help.  The other, the wife, knows to check her e-mail and that's all.  This does not include turning on the computer which is why the main computer stays on all day just in case she decides to check her mail which she doesn't do often. 

TV:  One, the cousin, knows how to turn on the TV and the cable box and doesn't seem to require much help.  The other, the wife, knows how to turn on the TV and the cable box.  However, neither one is proficient enough to figure out the problem when the screen says "no signal."  Many times I have explained to both about the input button on the remote and that it should be set to HMDl1 instead of TV.  (How many times do I have to do this?)  One, the wife, asks to have some show recorded (how many times do I have to show you how to do this?)  and once it has been recorded, asks how to play it back.  (Again, how many times........?)

Air conditioning:  One, the wife, is in control of the A/C.  It is on when she is warm and off when she is cold.  Same with the heat.  I am okay with turning it on when she is hot because I can put my throw over me to keep comfortable.  Problem?  Turning it off when she is cold and I am still warm.  Apparently she does not know to put a throw or light blanket over her like I do.  (Don't let this get to you, Larry, her comfort is more important than yours.)  (Hah.)

Lost items:  This includes keys, eyeglasses, etc.  Them:  "I can't find my keys."  Two choices here.  Let them keep looking and continue with what I am doing or stop what I am doing and get up and help find the keys.  (Thinking....where did you leave them, or why don't you hang them on the keyrack in the kitchen each time you come home so they will be there the next time you need them.)  Or, "I can't find my phone."  I carry my phone in a holster so I know where it is at all times.  Now I know that a holster is not fashionable for most women, but maybe put it in a pocket if you have one.  The easiest way, of course, is to call the phone and listen to see if we can hear it ring.  Or, "I can't find my glasses."  Sometimes it's easy.......(there on your head, dummy.) Sometimes it's hard because, as noted above, they can't seem to remember the last time they used them or where they used them.

Directions:  One, the cousin, is still considered new to the area and doesn't travel much farther than local stores or the hospital to see her doctor.  Going outside this area requires a Mapquest printout and oral directions explaining the map.  The other, the wife, has lived in the same area for more than 40 years and yet still has problems navigating to where she needs to go, other than the obvious trips to the store or the mall.  Going somewhere such as the beach, a trip that we have made numerous times, is hard and requires her to ask me which exit, etc.  Neither one is aware where North, East, South, West is.  (The mountains are to the north, hence facing north means your right hand is east, your left is west and your ((huge)) behind is facing south.)  Each vehicle here is equipped with the latest city maps should one have trouble.  (Waste of paper, neither can read a map.) 

Domestic responsibilities:  These chores are done on a "first come-first do" basis.  However, it is more of an excercise to see who will "volunteer" first.  One, the cousin, is usually pretty good at doing dishes.  The other, the wife, only when necessary.  I do some dishes daily.  While we have removed all the carpeting from our house and enjoy the natural hard wood floors, there are large area rugs that require vaccuuming, especially if the granddaughters are scheduled to be here.  I do that.  Too hard on the wife's back and I have no clue why the other, the cousin, hasn't done that chore. 

Meals:  One, the cousin, tends to buy what she wants to eat and fixes it for herself.  Once in a while, she will actually cook dinner for all of us.  The other, the wife, usually asks me where I am going for dinner, i.e., fast food and bring it home.  (Maybe you could go somewhere and I will sit here and relax.)  (Not going to happen.)  We have a programable coffee pot which goes off early each morning as I get up early.  I get up and pour my coffee, feed the dogs, and sit and use the computer.  A few hours later, one, the cousin, will get up and make her own instant coffee and go outside to the swing.  She smokes.  The other, the wife, calls me on the phone...........that's right, calls me on the phone and asks for "room service" meaning for me to bring her coffee prepared just the way she likes it to the bedroom. 

As you can see from all of the above, when I go, this small world of ours will be in chaos.  Computers will be somewhat useless, TVs may or may not work depending on how well they paid attention when I explained how to take care of problems.  Lost items may never turn up until the day they move.  Domestic chores could pile up resulting in a health department closure of the house.  Meals may be sparse, but this could be a good thing as both could lose a few pounds.  I don't think they would starve, however.  One, the wife, will either get up for her own coffee or stop drinking coffee altogether. 

Of course, all of this is moot because if they both leave the house at the same time, they will probably never find their way back.



Just kidding!  (yeah, right.)

Larryj

[Diane Amberg]

That is really funny, but I'm guilty of being somewhat ignorant in the electronics dept also. I can make everything go, but if something doesn't work right I'm clueless on how to fix it, especially the computer.

[larryJ]

From the newspaper today.........

PLAQUE MARKS CHICAGO SITE OF OBAMAS' FIRST KISS.

The associated press...

CHICAGO---The president first kissed his now-wife outside a Chicago ice cream shop -- and there's a plaque to prove it.

The owners of a Hyde Park shopping center installed the 3,000-pound granite marker this week with a plaque reading "On this site President Barrack Obama first kissed Michelle Obama."  There's a picture of the first couple and a quote from the president describing their first date.

The sweet smooch happened in 1989 when the president treated the first lady to ice cream at a Baskins-Robbins, which is now a Subway restaurant.

The boulder sits in a flower bed next to the shopping center.



I guess the next step is to declare the whole center a national historical site and charge admission to see it.

I think.......no....... I know, that a visit to this site will not be on my bucket list.

Larryj

[Diane Amberg]

Oh my word....

[larryJ]

I don't know how it is in other areas of the country, but here in SoCal you can always depend on having road construction every four years.  It seems that every election year our streets, at least the main ones, undergo some type of overhaul.  Many of these consist of digging a giant hole in the middle of the street and parking a bunch of construction equipment in the middle of the street and running a large tube down through the hole and turning on another machine that makes a lot of noise.  The only thing that I can think of that is in the middle of the street are the sewage pipes.  Then it occurred to me!  There is so much BS going on that the lines have to be cleared out before they back up!

In recent visits to the supermarket I have noticed: 

Yuban coffee has changed the shape of its container and also the quantity (less) of its product...........but not the price.

Jello makes a strawberry swirl pudding as well as a chocolate swirl pudding.  I (and the kids) love the strawberry swirl pudding......
which the store no longer carries, just the chocolate one.

Del Monte makes a large size container of fruit, i.e., peaches, fruit cocktail, and others........the stores only carry peaches and fruit cocktail.

Oranges are kind of "out of season" during July and August.  I know this from my own orange tree which does not produce fruit in those two months.  The oranges at the store are imported from out of the country and sell for twice the normal price, according to the produce manager.

More and more lately, the young ladies who bag my groceries are asking if I need help to my car.  I must be looking bad.  My pride makes me say that I don't need the help, that I can manage on my own..............But, it's occurred to me that this is a big mistake on my part.  Where else am I going to get the undivided attention from some good-looking young girl for a few minutes in the day!

Granddaughter #1 has concluded her private swimming lessons at the local park pool..............I'm going to miss going there to watch her..................... and her cute young lady instructer.

Next week, my son and his wife and daughter are off to Hawaii for 10 days, so no babysitting #3, but to make up for it, the other grandparents are also off to Hawaii for a week, so we will have #1 and #2 every day.

Larryj

[larryJ]

Back in the dark ages when I was in high school, my best friend was a writer/reporter for the school newspaper.  His job was to report the results of the various sports activities such as football scores, etc.  I remember him getting frustrated when he couldn't think of a catchy headline to report his story.  AHS "overpowers," AHS "stomps," AHS "beats,"  AHS "turns away,"  and so on.

All of this leads to a headline in my paper today.  My kudo's to the guy who came up with this one.

HUEVOS HARDSHIP___________MEXICO SCRAMBLES TO BEAT EGG CRISIS.

By Michael Weissenstein......Associated Press.

That, my friends, is a classic!

Larryj

[larryJ]

A few days ago, I mentioned that the other grandparents were off to Hawaii this week and we would have #1 and #2 granddaughters for the whole week.  First, let me correct myself........the other grandparents are off to Palm Springs rather than Hawaii.  They have a time share place there.  Second, our daughter had put in for a week of vacation for this week some time back, but was doubtful of getting the week off.  Saturday, while at our son's house, we heard from our daughter-in-law that our daughter was going to be on vacation this week.   Sunday, our daughter called in the afternoon to inform us that she had found out on Friday that she did get the week off.  Observation...........we need to work on our communications!

So here it is.........our daughter is off for the week so no #1 and #2..........our son and family are in Hawaii for ten days so no #3.

Problem........what do we do?  Due to my wife's back problems she spends a great deal of time in her room, not capable of doing much around the house.  This is okay and has been for many years.  Household chores, everyday things, are handled by me and her cousin.  We have never asked her cousin to do anything of that nature, she just volunteers now and then.

Problem........Yesterday, after getting a wonderful night's sleep, the wife was more ambitious and able to move around more.  She managed to go through our closet and dig out old items and throw things away.  (Given her painful condition, this is a big step for her.)  Her cousin decided to attack the "granddaughter's room", (a room for the girls toys, clothes, etc. and a bed and TV for when they wish to spend the night or just hang out) and began to clean off the desk and organize the books and puzzles and generally put everything in it's proper place.

Problem........I had opened a web site on the big computer in order to track our son's flight to Hawaii on Sunday and it was slow to open and then didn't work and wouldn't shut down.  I rebooted, and rebooted......still there everytime I signed on to AOL.  Yesterday, I finally had to uninstall AOL and reinstall it.  Problem solved.

And then this............Wife:  "I was able to clean out some things from the closet and throw things away.  My cousin totally organized the girls room........................................................What did you do that was along the lines of making things better around here?"

Me:  "Well, (and I explained the computer problem and the hours it took to fix it) I managed to fix the problem on the computer so that it is working correctly now."

Wife:  "That is not something that helps with our living conditions.  That is just something that you need and doesn't qualify as a project to make things nicer around the house."   

Me:  (To myself.......Who the heck do you think has been doing all those "projects" while you have been unable to do much?) 

(Note to self:  Make a concentrated effort to do something huge and dramatic this week which will change the course of history in our house, i.e., I will go through all the cabinets in the family room and get rid of books and old electronic equipment not used anymore.  I will work on cleaning the garage and haul some things to Goodwill.  I will throw away unneeded objects from said garage.)

Sheeesh.........

It should be noted here that when my son returns from Hawaii and moves back to the beach, I will be going back to the American Legion post for the good times.  However, if this week continues as it has started, I may go to the post sooner............like tomorrow!
Besides, the weather forecast is for hot weather this week and the AL post at the beach will be great.

Life is good!

Larryj

[larryJ]

I think every husband may have experienced or does experience this phenomenon on occasion.  Example:

Our 38 year old daughter is a terrific person.  She is a good mother and a good wife and a good daughter.  My wife taught both of our children manners and good behavior and courtesy and she did a bang-up job.  Both of them are very successful at what they do.

Except:  Our daughter tends to take my wife for granted, meaning that the taking care of the kids is just how it should be.  She is not one to say "thank you" each and every time the girls are here.  Our son, on the other hand, seems to say "thank you" each time we have the baby over for the day and our daughter-in-law does that just as well.  

Today, my wife woke up with the thought that she should write our daughter a letter telling her that a "thank you" is in order each and every time she watches the girls.  She asked my opinion about such a letter.  

(This is one of those "Does this make me look fat?" kind of questions.)  It is a subtle trap.  If I say "yes, you should do that," then if such a letter is taken the wrong way resulting in a devastating outcome, then it will be my fault because I encouraged her to write such a letter.  In my wisdom, I answered on how I felt by saying that it might cause some problems and to just let it go.  Her cousin, later, chimed in with her opinion by saying that it should done over the phone or face to face.  

(Can you see the mountain growing from the molehill at this point?)

As it happened, #2 granddaughter was to go to the preschool tonight to meet her teacher and see her classroom for the coming year.  Granddaughter #1 opted to stay with Papa and Nana (a) because she didn't want to go, (b) it should be her sister's night, not hers, or (c) both of the above.  Afterwards, our daughter returned to pick up #1 and stayed for a brief moment and then left..........without saying "thank you."

Within seconds of her departure, my wife called me on my phone (this is the accepted method of contact if you are not in the same breathing space) and asked.............

"Did you say anything to _____ about saying thank you?"

Wait .........hold on ..........back the truck up ............!

Where and when did it become my responsibility to say anything to her?  I feel the mountain starting to fall on me!  What originally started out as a trivial subject has now become more trivial in lieu of the problem of "who's in charge."   (Wasn't this your problem early today and where was it that I was the one to say anything and when were you going to let me know that I was the one to say anything?)  

Sheesh............

But life is still good!

Larryj

[larryJ]

In the six years, eight months and five days that I have been retired, I have developed my own daily schedule.  As mentioned, I always wake up early, around 5 or 6, and get my coffee, take care of the dogs and sit down to work or read on the computer.  I go to bed around 10 every night and have no problem falling asleep within five minutes or so.  That said........

Part of this schedule includes a nap in the afternoon, somewhere between 2 and 4, although I have napped as late as 5.  These naps are always an hour long.  I don't set any alarms to wake up, I just sleep for an hour and then wake up.  These naps are always taken in my recliner chair in the living room.  Most of the time I turn on the TV, low volume, and it becomes "white noise."  Over the years there have been interferences with this daily routine.  My sister-in-law used to call me just to chit-chat in the afternoon.  It took a long time for her to get it through her mind not to call me at the time of my nap (or better yet, don't call me at all......)

It is a daily routine that usually always occurs barring unusual happenings such as going somewhere or the grandkids don't want to take their afternoon naps.  Even if they don't, Nana takes them down the hall to their room where they can play or watch TV, etc.  As my wife is experiencing her back problems and tends to stay in her room so she can rest comfortably on her bed and her cousin who also enjoys an afternoon nap, there has not been much of a problem.

Why do I bring all this up?  Both my wife and her cousin are well aware of this daily ritual. 

Yesterday, at around 3, I moved from my desk computer over to my recliner for my nap.  My wife had been in her room all day (normal) and her cousin was in her room doing whatever she does, most of the day (normal.)  I announced that I was going to close my eyes for a little while.  About a half hour into this nap, both saw fit to bring themselves to the living room and enjoy a lively, loud and animated conversation within ten feet of me and my nap.

So, now I am up.  Another part of my daily ritual is an afternoon cup of International Coffee.  I do this between 4 and 5.  I get up and go make my coffee, now fully awake from my shortened nap.  The teapot whistles and I pour it into my cup and return to the living room.............................................................................only to discover that they have concluded their lively, loud and animated conversation and returned to their respective rooms!

Sheesh.

(Caution:  Rodney Dangerfield moment coming up.............."I don't get no respect"!!!!!

But...............Life is still good.

Larryj

[larryJ]

I mentioned recently about making an early return to the American Legion Post before my son would be moving back to the beach.  Well, it happened last Sunday.  We went down to Newport and enjoyed some good music, good food and had a great time. 

My son and his family will return from Hawaii tomorrow night and then this weekend will be a concentrated effort to get them moved back to the beach house.  I can't wait............seriously.......I love this area of SoCal.  It is just too beautiful and just really neat.  I can't do much, physically, but I can always sit with my granddaughter and take care of her while the others move things.  I can walk down to the bay side beach with her and watch the gi....I mean, boats and paddle boarders.  The weather will be great. 

Life is still good.

Larryj