Political Humor

[jarhead]

Teresa,
Don't you get sick of this PC crap ? I think it's kinda perverted to laugh about having a 2x4 stuck up your ass (different strokes for different folks---I guess ) but send people straight to hell for saying something about Kenyan Christmas tree ornaments.

[Jo McDonald]

ALERT FROM CDC
Information about Gonorrhea Lectim ...


The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of this old disease.  The disease it called Gonorrhea Lectim.  It's pronounced "Gonna re-elect 'em," and it is a terrible obamanation.

The disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior involving putting your cranium up your rectum.  Many victims contracted it in 2008 ... but now most people, after having been infected for the past 1-2 years, are starting to realize how destructive this sickness is.

It's sad because Gonorrhea Lectim is easily cured with a new drug just coming on the market called Votemout.  You take the first dose in 2010 and the second dose in 2012 and simply don't engage in such behavior again; otherwise, it could become permanent and eventually wipe out all life as we know it.

Several states are already on top of this, like Virginia and New Jersey, and apparently now Massachusetts, with many more seeing the writing on the wall.

Please pass this important message on to all those bright folks you really care about.

[Diane Amberg]

That's OK Jar. Last I heard the folks in Africa have starting shrinking heads again.They favor them for Christmas decorations with the favorite being white American politicians, especially those from the south. They are very cheap to buy and have very little shrinking to do because not a one of them has any brains in there to have to remove first .

[Varmit]

Africian headshrinkers...Kenya is in Africa...wow, apparently they didn't want his dumbass either.

[Jo McDonald]

Father O'Malley rose from his bed.  It was a fine spring day in his new Washington DC parish.

He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of air and to see the beautiful day outside.  He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn.

He promptly called the US House of Representatives for assistance.   The conversation went like this. "Good Morning.  This is speaker Pelosi.  How might I help you?"

"And the best of the day te yerself.  This is Father O'Malley at St. Brigid's.  There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn.  Would ye be so kind as to send a couple o' yer lads to take care of the matter?"

Speaker Pelosi, considering herself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk, "Well now father, it was always my impression that you people took care of Last Rites!"

There was dead silence on the line for a long moment.  Father O'Malley then replied; "Aye, that's certainly true, but we are also obligated to first notify the next of kin."

[Varmit]

Q. Why does Obama wear a turban?
A. So he knows which end to wipe!
-----------------------

President Obama decided to do one of his public addresses against the backdrop of an American farm, but the ceremony couldn't get started because of all the flies buzzing around his head. Obama demanded to know why the flies wouldn't leave, so the farmer explained to him, "Well, those are called circle flies. They always circle around the back end of horses." Obama angrily replied, "Hey, are you saying that I'm a horse's ass?" The farmer answered, "No Sir, Mister President. I would never call someone a horse's ass. It's hard to fool them flies though."

[kshillbillys]

LMAO Varmit! 

[Patriot]

Q: What do you get when you offer a Liberal a penny for his thoughts?
A: Change.

Q: How do you confuse a Liberal?
A: You don't. They're born that way.

Q: Why is it good to have a Democrat passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.

Q: What's the difference between Elvis and a smart Liberal?
A: Elvis has been sighted.

A Democrat died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars.
"Ten dollars?" she said. "It only takes ten dollars to bury a Democrat? Here's a hundred - go bury 10 of them!"

Q: How do you keep a Democrat busy?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.

Q: How do you keep a Liberal busy all day?
A: Put him in a round room and tell him to wait in the corner.

Q: What do you call a Democrat with an IQ of 130?
A: A foursome

Q: How do you get a one-armed Liberal out of a tree?
A: Wave to him.

Q: What do you call a basement full of Liberals?
A: A whine cellar.

Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?
A: 144 Democrats.

Q: What is foreplay for a Democrat?
A: Thirty minutes of begging.

Q: What is the Democrat doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.

Q: Why did the Liberal have blisters on his lips?
A: From trying to blow out lightbulbs.

Q: Why do Liberals work seven days a week?
A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.

A Democrat found a magic genie's lamp and rubbed it. The genie said, "I will grant you one wish." He said, "I wish I were smarter". So the genie made him a Republican.

Q: What the difference between a Democrat and the rear end of a horse?
A: I don't know either.

Q: How is a Liberal different from a sewer rat?
A: Some people actually like sewer rats.

Q: How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They prefer to walk in the dark.

Q: Why do so many Liberals live in L.A.?
A: It's the only city that is easy enough for them to spell.

Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A Democrat parade.

Q: What is it called when a Liberal blows in another Liberal's ear?
A: Data transfer.

Q: Why don't they let Liberals swim in the ocean?
A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.

Q: How do you plant dope?
A: Bury a Democrat.

Q: What's the difference between a Liberal and a sack of manure?
A: The sack.

Q: What's the definition of a Democrat running for Congress for the first time?
A: A mouse trying to become a rat.

Q: What's the difference between God and a Democrat?
A: God knows He's not a Democrat.

[Patriot]

The liberals are asking us to give Obama time.
We agree and think 25 to life would be appropriate.


Q: Have you heard about McDonalds new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.

Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser.

Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to society.
The other is for housing prisoners.

Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers.

If Pelosi, Reid, Kerry, Schumer and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it sank, who would be saved?
.... America!

[kshillbillys]

LMAO~ LOVE IT!!