My Interview with the Following Bureaucrats:

[Warph]

Last night, I had the opportunity to interview these bureaucrats about their usage of political English. 
It went something like this:




"My question to you is simple," I said, as I sat across from these government bureaucrats and their interpreters.  "Why doesn't the government communicate in plain English?"

Charlie Rangel:  "Your query poses prospective considerations that rise above and beyond the level of considerations that the voter-taxpayer may be prepared to rise above and beyond."

Me: "Huh?" I said to his interpreter.

"He said it's best the public doesn't learn the real reason," said the interpreter.

Me:  "But we deserve to know," I said.  "Most of you politicians voted on a 2,400-page ObamaCare health bill that was so confusing, few legislators knew what was in it.  Now it is being converted into rules and regulations that are confusing the public even more."

Nancy Pelosi:  "It is because government representatives and their legislative aides are often persuaded, at the behest of revenue-generating entities, to apply lawyerly terminology to obfuscate clarity in a manner that benefits their outcome."

"She said that bills are written in confusing language, in part, to conceal the special favors politicians slip in for their buddies," said her interpreter.

Me:  "That is why plain language is so important!" I said.  "In a republic, the citizens must know what their government is up to.  Rules, regulations, forms, applications, brochures, letters, requirements, etc. must be understandable!"

Barbara Boxer:  "The public, however, notwithstanding the active voter-taxpayer base, may or may not acquiesce."

"She said 'blah, blah, blah,' said her interpreter.

Me:   "Look," I continued, "some wonderful government employees have been trying to make government intelligible for years.  Annetta Cheek, who held various executive positions within the government, spent her career doing so.  She co-founded a volunteer plain language initiative to improve government (plainlanguage.gov).  Now retired, she is chair of a private organization, the Center for Plain Language (centerforplainlanguage.org).

Lindsey Graham rolls his eyes.

John McCain: "We concur there have been unfortunate interludes in which taxpayer-receiver entities succumbed to internal unlikelihoods," .

"He said, 'blah, blah, blah,'" said his interpreter.

Me:  "Cheek and other government volunteers worked tirelessly to improve government communication," I continued.  "The Clinton administration embraced their ideas and issued a memo encouraging the use of plain language.  A handful of agencies have voluntarily stepped up to make their forms easier for the public to understand.  But what is really needed is a plain-language law!"

Again, Lindsey Graham rolls his eyes.

Harry Reid: "Such a law almost happened in both 2006 and 2008. U.S. Rep. Bruce Braley, D-Iowa, introduced a commonsense bill that required federal agencies to translate their documents into 'plain language.'  It passed the House with overwhelming majorities both times.  Then Sen. Daniel Akaka, D-Hawaii, introduced companion bills in the Senate.  Both were well on their way to passing until Sen. Bob Bennett, R-Utah, held them up.  He offered some nonsense about the unintended consequences of making all agencies translate complex laws into clear language.

Me:  "That is ridiculous, sir!  Imagine the time and money that would be saved if citizens could understand government forms.  Imagine how carefully new bills would be crafted if legislators knew their intent would be clearly articulated once the bills became law!  The public demands clarity, sir!  The public must contact its Senators and demand that the Plain Writing Act (S.574) be passed into law!  Now what do you say to that, sir?"

Barney Frank:  "Are you nuts, pal... If not for government gobbledygook, my interpreter and I would never be able to earn $174 grand a year!"


That last comment finally woke me up about 3a.m. in a cold sweat.

[Diane Amberg]

The next time someone complains about the "dumbing down" of our kid's education I'll refer them to this article. Duh x 2.