Newbrassky

[Marshal harpoluke]

 

Meanwhile back at the Dynomite Chicken Ranch, the Marshal N Sheep are entertaining some traveling guests who are missionaries to the Jews.

It is a good time to Praise God for the gift of the One Who is our Salvation, the King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Messiah Jesus.

Happy Birthday Jesus.

HalleluYa!

[Silver Creek Slim]

Slim rides into the dooryard. He leads his horse into the barn. He emerges with his saddlebags and and the "Mighty Ten". He goes into the house which is silent. He puts the Wiscoooooooonsin cheese in the icebox and puts on a fresh pot of coffee. He slips off his boots and climbs the stairs to the FFg's door. He hears heavy breathing from the other side of the door. He lays a pair of rabbit fur slippers in front of the door, walks back to the kitchen, and starts making breakfast.

[Delmonico]

<Author's note: The reason the house is quiet is that Delmonico has watered up the steam engine, has built a wood fir in the fire box and is now shovelin' coal into it.  Being bad has it's advantages. >

[Silver Creek Slim]

<Author's note: The reason the house is quiet is that Delmonico has watered up the steam engine, has built a wood fir in the fire box and is now shovelin' coal into it.  Being bad has it's advantages. >

[Delmonico]

Delmonico gets a full head of steam up and puts the steam traction engine in gear and heads out.   

suddenly that durn blue light comes down again and Delmonico and the yet unnamed steam traction engine dissapear into the clouds.

[Silver Creek Slim]

Slim sees the blue glow and runs to his room. Pushes the futuristic "toy" to the window and pulls the trigger. Hot brass sprays all over the room. "Drat! Missed again! Hope they don't probe him too much." 

[Lucky Irish Tom]

The noise from Slim's toy wakes Irish who wuz nappin in the Barn<-Arthur's Note -Sleeping it off ->

Irish grabs his Sharps and sights down the barrel, the gun bucks and roars.  Irish sees a 'D' fall off the Blue Plate but it doesn't slow down.  Irish watches with a worried look as the EDGEWOO carries Del off again!

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

The Frumpy Fairy Godmother rouses from her sleep as the blue light comes for the second time for Delmonico. Slipping into her bunny slippers, which fit perfectly, and wrapping into her wrap, she silently glides through the house, delivering soft and new flannel shirts outside the doors of those who live at the Ranch with No Name. One of the shirts also appears at Sod Buster's house.

With a small smile, she slips back into her room.

< Merry Christmas, folks, sorry it was late. >

[Stoney Pete]

Having sat on the porch for more than a month and not having said a word, Stoney is awakened by the roar of Tom's Sharps.  Not quite sure what been going on, Stoney see the Edgewoo  just before it disappears.  "I guess they got Del again."

As Stoney putters to his room he sees a new flannel shirt there for him.   "Thanks FFG.", he says into the air.  He changes his clothes and puts on the new shirt.

[Lucky Irish Tom]

Once the plate is gone Irish wanders into the house to get some coffee.  He wanders upstairs and sees a new flannel shirt in front of the door to the room he's supposed to be bunking in.  He's tries on the shirt and is pleased at how it cuts the chill from the air.

[Silver Creek Slim]

Slim opens his door to find a new flannel shirt. He goes back in his room and tries it on; fits perfectly. "Thanks fer the shirt, ma'am."

[Sod Buster]

Sod Buster sees a new flannel shirt at his door.  Seein' no horse or wagon tracks, he is rightly puzzled on how it got there.  Then he spies the gift tag from that nice FFg who lives at the Ranch House over the hill.  He thanks her out loud and thinks that he needs to pay her a visit sometime soon to thank her personally for the shirt.  It will come in handy during this cold winter.  This has been a great Christmas out here on the plains, especially since Santy Claus brought the new Grasshopper plow and a team of mules to pull it.

Sodbuster also heard that Delmonico has one of them newfangled steam-powered tractors.  He is definally gonna have to have Del demonstrate that machine.

[Delmonico]

The blle light appears again, dropping off Delmonico and his new steam traction engine, it now has a 16 bottom plow on it and in neon blue letters on the boiler are the words, "O'l King coal, Delmonico shovels in a couple more shovels full and heads to Sod Buster place, with his backwards night shirt flappin, in the breeze.

[DArchangel]

glad to see you back home del. the ranch was lonely without ya.

[Delmonico]

It's after dark when Delmonico reaches the sod busters farm, but by lighting the carbide lamps Delmonico and his engine and backwards night shirt get there.  walking around to the front of the engine, Delmonico's exposed buttocks shows in the limelight, just like if he was on stage 

<Authors Note: Carbide lights using acetylene gas is formed by Calcium carbonate and the reaction of water,   CaC+ H20 forming  C2H2 thus freeinf up extra oxygen moly-cules to allow combustion and the heating of the calcium to incandesance, hence the term lime light because calcium carbonate is sometimes called limeas in limestone. See you shouldn't have slept in science class. )

Gettin' back on, he shovels some more coal in and plows 40 acres, headin' home in the risin' sun, his reddened "cheeks" blowin' in the breeze.

[Lucky Irish Tom]

Irish sees Del headin back to the Ranch at sun-up.  Irish has brewed a fresh pot of coffee and invites Del to grab a cup.  Irish politely says nothing about the strange outfit that Del is wearing, seems he has the same outfit every time the blue light returns him.  After finishing the coffee Irish rides over to Sod Busters and hangs his Chritmas Stocking with the two pair of woolen socks in it on Sod Busters door and heads back to the Ranch, all the while appreciating the warmth of the flannel shirt.

[Delmonico]

Delmonico has a cup and heads for a nap, with the coal backed in his steam traction engine of course.

[Sod Buster]

Sod Buster is still shaking his head over the sight of Delmonico, his exposed reddened "cheeks" blowin' in the breeze, plowin' 40 acres with that steam-powered tractor in dark by the light of the tractor's carbide lights.  What a strange sight indeed! 

Going back outside later, he notices the Christmas Stocking with the woolen socks from Irish Tom.  Wow, they surely are appreciated!  There are surely some fine neighbors over there at that Ranch.

[Trinity]

Christmas Eve has come to the Dismal River valley...

Delmonico sees that they have hung their stockings on the mantle before leavin'.  Delmonico goes to the barn and gets some balin' wire and fixes the hole in Trinity's.

<<Arthor's note:  That was Trinity's "good" sock. >>

The noise from Slim's toy wakes Irish who wuz nappin in the Barn<-Arthur's Note -Sleeping it off ->

Irish grabs his Sharps and sights down the barrel, the gun bucks and roars.  Irish sees a 'D' fall off the Blue Plate but it doesn't slow down.  ...

Entering the ranch yard, Trinity sees this and suddenly feels sorry for the poor Germans and wonders why they always seem to be targeted for shootings while visiting this country.

Inside the house, Trinity runs into the living room, to the Tree and is very happy to see all of the gifts that have been left him.  He also finds his sock has been mended with baling wire.  "Mebbe this tahm it won' wair out so quickly!"   He then removes his boots and hangs the other two socks on the mantle in the hopes that Santa will make a return visit and mend these.  The room is filled with a strange odor as the heat from the fire evaporates the sweat.

While sitting quietly in front of the fire in his new night shirt while his regular clothes stand in the corner, he notices another package in the opposite corner of the room.  He goes to it and finds that it is addressed to him from litl rooster.  Trinity smiles warmly and opens it to find an interesting pair of spectacles that look like shotgun shells.  After years of drinking his own brew, he has very little memory left and doesn't recognize them.  Thinking that they are glasses to prevent snowblindness in Newbrasskey, Trinity goes outside and tries them on. 

Suddenly, he is pitched once again into a dark cave, but there is a light at the very end.  He runs off of the porch to get to it and slips in the snow.  Slowly he gets back up and sees that there is only a little further to run, so he takes off at breakneck speed, slipping every third step.  Somehow he misses the brush at the edge of the yard and ends up on the stage road and runs and runs.  Again, he begins to panick because the end is not nearing!  As he tires, he comes to a full stop and leans against his knees to breath.  Only he has not stopped.  He is still moving, but his legs are not moving.  Trinity smiles as he thought it would never be possilble, but his dream of a moving sidewalk must have been invented.  Trinity stands straight up, proudly because he wants everyone to see him when he comes out of the tunnel.  He is sure that no one has ridden the sidewalk yet for fear of the unknown and that he is the first.  Maybe they will call it Trinity's Moving Sidewalk.

He stands and stares at the tunnel opening, and stares, and stares, and stares.  "This shore is takin' a long tahm!"

Suddenly, the sidewalk stops moving and Trinity is standing still.  He looks around and realizes that he must have come to a juncture in the cave because in each direction that he looks, he can see an opening.  "Ah shore wish they would put a lahght in this hair tunnel!  Mebbe ain' no one ridden this thang, so they ain' lit it just yet." 

Trinity steps to exit the tunnel on the left.  When the sidewalk still does not move he begins to jump up and down.  That's when he heard the loud crack followed by several more cracks. At that moment, Trinity fell and the glasses came off revealing that he was not in a tunnel, but in the middle of the frozen river.  Each effort he made to bring himself back to the edge caused more cracking until he finally broke through and beneath the surface.  Several seconds later a large cube of ice with Trinity firmly frozen inside, floated back to the surface and bobbed.  The "Light at the End of the Tunnel Shooters Glasses" (® Litl' Rooster) lay on the ice.

[litl rooster]

>litl' rooster and Pea Eye out for a ride see, Trinity clinging to a chunk of Ice, in the river. Taking down his reata he throws a "Hoolie" that snags Trinity and the pair pluck him from the water.Takes him back to the heat of the house.

SURE WISH YOU HAVE HAD READ THE LABEL TO YOUR PRESENT PARD.