Newbrassky

[litl rooster]

The great explosion has left me lying onthe ground unconscious and horseless

[Stoney Pete]

A loud boom in the distance awakens Stoney.  He's in his bed but don't remember going there.

Looking out the window there's no clouds so it weren't thunder.

Oh well.  Stoney makes his usuall big breakfast and heads out to his chair on the porch.

[Silver Creek Slim]

Slim goes into the kitchen fer coffee and grub. He takes it to the porch. "Morning, Stoney. Ya hear that loud noise? Didn't sound like thunder." 

[Delmonico]

<Lookin' at litl rooster's picture of the explosion Delmonico figgers he has tracked that yahoo clear into Wyoming.>

Still feelin' tired from all the dealings with the flying plate people, Delmonico adds some more ice and gets another of his time warp cylinders.


I can  settle dow-own and be doin' just fine
Til I hear an old train rollin' down the line
Then I hurry strai-aight home and pack
And if I  didn't go, I believe I'd blow my stack
I love you ba-aby, but you gotta understand
When the Lord made me
He made a Ramblin'  Man.

Some folks might sa-ay that I'm no good
That I wouldn't settle down if I could
But when that open ro-oad starts to callin' me
There's somethin' o'er the hill that I gotta see
Sometimes it's har-rd but you gotta understand
When the Lord made me, He made a Ra-amblin' Man.

I love to see the tow-owns a-passin' by
And to ride these rails 'neath God's blue sky
Let me travel this la-and from the mountains to the sea
'Cause that's the life I believe He meant for me
And when I'm go-one and at my grave you stand
Just say God called home your Ra-amblin' Man.


Duke decides that he loves Hank's music best of all and sings along.

[Delmonico]

With no one around fer noon but him and duke, Delmonico grinds some sirloin steak and make a patties out of it.   this is placed on sourdough whole wheat bread, and covered with grilled onions and Sharp Cheddar.    A trip to the broiler on the stove and Delmonico and duke have invented the "Patty Melt."

"Duke ol' fella, if folks found out about this we could make a fortune.  The could ride up, the FFg could go out to their horse or buggy on them new-fangled roller skate and take orders.

I could cook the food and you could keep the fonny-graf a playing after we move it to the porch.
Bet we could get a nickle a song.

We could call it Delmonico's Ride in Eatin' Place.  Bet all the young folks out a courtin' would hang round here all evenin' eatin' and a courtin'.   

Better get litl rooster back and his fast horse though or them fella's a gonna make it dangeruos by a racin' their horse's out on the road.

Bellies filled they go back to the office and crank up the the fonny-graph.


Tonight down here in the valley I'm lonesome and oh how I feel
As I sit here alone in my cabin I can see your mansion on the hill
[ steel ]
Do you recall when we parted the story to me you revealed
You said you could live without love dear in your loveless mansion on the hill
[ fiddle ]
I've waited all through the years love to give you a heart true and real
Cause I know you're living in sorrow in your loveless mansion on the hill
The light shines bright from your window the trees stand so silent and still
I know you're alone with your pride dear in your loveless mansion on the hill

[Delmonico]

Siitin' down at his coal oil computor, Delmonico fills it full and gives it a couple of extra pumps and starts orderin from his list.

Roller Skates, he checks the FFg's shoes by the door for size.

Lager meat grinder.

More flour and yeast

Malt powder.

chock-o-late syrup, strawwberry preserves and vannilla.

A bigger Ice cream maker.

Mustard, ketchup.


Well when I woke up this mornin',
There was a note upon my door,
Said don't make me no coffee Babe,
'cause I won't be back no more,
And that's all she wrote, Dear John,
I've sent your saddle home.


Now Jonah got along in the belly of the whale,
Daniel in the lion's den,
But I know a guy that didn't try to get along,
And he won't get a chance again,
And that's all she wrote, Dear John,
I've fetched your saddle home.


Well she didn't forward no address,
Nor she didn't say goodbye,
All she said was if you get blue,
Just hang your little head and cry,
And that's all she wrote, Dear John,
I've sent your saddle home.


Now my gal's short and stubby,
She's strong as she can be,
But if that little old gal of mine,
Ever get's a-hold of me,
That's all she wrote, Dear John,
I've sent your saddle home.


Now Jonah got along in the belly of the whale,
Daniel in the lion's den,
But I know a man that didn't try to get along,
And he won't get a chance again,
And that's all she wrote, Dear John,
I've fetched your saddle home.


As the music plays on. he writes other notes out.  "Get Stoney to get us pork cutlets fer breaded tenderloin and lard fer fries."   

"Get taters out of the cellar fer fries, onions fer onion rings."

"Toss a stick of dy-no-mite in river fer fish samwhices."

And last on the list "Hide Trinity."

[Silver Creek Slim]

"Them 4 strands of wire comin' from Del's room are sure hummin'. Wonder what he's up ta, now?" 

[Delmonico]

Delmonico works with his plan,says "play another one Duke."   As the song starts to play, Delmonico orders a soda water fountain. and all the stuff needed such as syrup and cabonated water. ;DStandin' by a lonesome graveside
Everything I love is gone
Weeping as they lay my darlin'
'Neath a cold gray tomb of stone

In this world I`m left to wander
With no one to call my own
While my precious darlin`s sleepin'
'Neath a cold gray tomb of stone

Out there in that lonesome graveyard
She is sleepin' all alone
And they buryied my heart with her
'Neath a cold gray tomb of stone

Skies above were dark and stormin'
For the sunshine, all is gone
And the one I love is sleepin'
'Neath a cold gray tomb of stone

My heart is dead and yet Im living
Wondering through this world alone
I wish that I was with my darlin'
'Neath a cold gray tomb of stone


Delmonico looks and the Yaller dog is cryin, "Duke ya dernt near done yerself in, that was a tear jerker."

[Delmonico]

Delmonico looks at the sad eyed yaller dog and has pity on him.   He picks the cylinder this time and gives the handle a crank.

One fine day as I was a-walkin' down the street
Spied a beggar man with rags upon his feet
Took a penny from my pocket
In his tin cup I did drop it
I heard him say as I made my retreat

CHORUS
"May the bird of paradise fly up your nose"
"May an elephant caress you with his toes"
"May your wife be plagued with runners in her hose"
"May the bird of paradise fly up your nose"

The laundry man is really on his toes
Found a hundred-dollar bill among my clothes
When he called me I came a-runnin'
Gave him back his dime for phonin'
I heard him sayin' as I turned to go

CHORUS

I was way behind one day to catch the train
Taxi driver said "We'll make it just the same"
The speed cop made it with us
And as he wrote out the ticket
I stood by politely a-waitin' for my change

CHORUS



Duke I got an idea, why don't we order some pink material and the FFg can make a skirt to whear when she roller skates out to take orders.  She could even sew on an aplique poodle just fer fun.

Both the song and the idea make Duke smile a big ol' dog grin.

[litl rooster]

litl' rooster awakens to the words of some cryin' in the beer music.....hearing it over and over and over in his head....Not knowing where he is being it's dark..  The lump on my head throbs and shrugg it to why I was hearing the strange music. I whistle for my horse but spit out mostly dirt, I try again. He does not come. There is a strong stinge in the air and below me i can see tiny embers glowing....I realize now what happened. I now must wait till light before heading back to the Ranch. Hopefully my horse made it back safely and will be waiting there.

[Delmonico]

Delmonico finishes up his hard days work.  He blows the flame out on his coal oil computor.

He looks a duke who has such sad brown eyes and looks ath the clock.  Ok but just one more, it'll be ten and the FFg will turn our cylinders into aroma ther-o-pee candles.

Delmonico puts on another cylinder and gives it a crank.

On top of spagetti,
all covered with cheese.
I lost my poor meat ball,
when somebody sneezed.


It rolled of the table,
and on to the floor.
And then my poor meatball,
Rolled out of the door.


It rolled into the garden,
and under a bush.
And then my poor meatball,
was nothing but moosh.


The moosh was as tasty,
as tasty could be.
And early next summer,
it grew into a tree.


The tree was all covered,
with beutiful moss.
It grew lovely meatballs,
and tomato sauce.


So if you eat spagetti,
All covered with cheese.
Hold on to your meatball,
And don't ever sneeze.


Delmonico looks at the smiling dog and says "we got that one in under the wire."

<Authors note, The Ranch with no Name is in Central time..>

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

Watching in her portable crystal ball, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother frowns. After a moment, she pulls her magic wand and waves it over the ball.

When Delmonico places Duke into the door the next time, there is silence for about two minutes, then Duke starts to whine. A minute after that, the stench of roadkill skunk starts to leak out of the door's compartment. The whining becomes whimpering, then howling as the stench grows stronger and Duke begins clawing and tearing at the door to get out. When Delmonico finally opens the door, Duke dashes out, enveloped in a green gas cloud.

She gives a faint smile. "Poodle applique.... heh."

[Delmonico]

Being always prepared for skunks and dogs, Delmonico gets his spritzer bottle of tomato juice out and in 2 minutes the skunk smell is under control.      Delmonico is lighting the burner on his computor as litl roosters horse runs into the barn.

Figgerin' that litl rooster is dead, Delmonico decides it's ok to play the fony-graph and have a memorial service for litl rooster.


Now you're lookin' at a man that's gettin' kind-a mad
I had lot's of luck but it's all been bad
No  matter how I struggle and strive
I'll never get out of this world a-live.

My fishin' pole's broke the creek is full of sand
My woman run away with another man
No matter how I struggle and strive
I'll never get out of this world alive.

A distant uncle passed away and  left me quite a batch
And I was livin'g high until that fatal  day
A lawyer proved I wasn't born
I was only hatched.---

Ev'rything's agin' me and it's got me down
If I jumped in the river I would prob'ly drown
No matter how I struggle and strive
I'll never get out of this world alive.

These shabby shoes I'm wearin' all the time
Are full of holes and nails
And brother if I stepped on a worn out dime
I bet a nickel I could tell you if it was heads or tails.

I'm not gonna worry wrinkles in my brow
'Cause nothin's ever gonna be alright no how
No matter how I struggle and strive
I'll never get out of this world alive.

I could buy a Sunday suit and it would leave me broke
If it had two pair of pants I would burn the coat
No matter how I struggle and strive
I'll never get out of this world alive.

If it was rainin' gold I wouldn't stand a chance
I wouldn't have a pocket in my patched up pants
No matter how I struggle and strive
I'll never get out of this world alive.


When the song is over, Delmonico and Duke bow there heads for a moment of silence.

[Scattered Thumbs]

Some quarter of a mile from the explosion site, Averell/Scattered Thumbs gets back on his feet and dusts himself off with his hat.

Golly! It's not the first time I've been blown sky high like this. But I've must have set a new record.

I wonder what those folks put on their soap.

After that Averell pulls up another apple.

[litl rooster]

As the sun rises in CST he gathers up what fell from his horse (is loaded pistol and 4 rounds that he could find, a short line that come off his saddle horn, his bowie, and a .31 cal pocket derringer that was in his saddlebags primer cap still in place) placing the small pistol in his boot and giving the short line a toss he finds his Hat stuck in some sage. Making bearings with the rise of the sun I start walking, surprizingly I can. Pausing again to hear mumblings and a familiar crunchy sound below where the explosion occured. I'll be damn Averell/Scattered Thumbs is still alive.

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

When the song is over, Delmonico and Duke bow there heads for a moment of silence.

And as the last notes fade to silence, the wax cylinder melts into the phonograph.

The Frumpy Fairy Godmother doesn't have to be there for her curse to work.

[Scattered Thumbs]

A green Studebaker pulls up in front of the house.
A man hops down from it... He looks just like the other two, but he is shorter.

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

Daisy wanders across the porch to look at the stranger. Healthy and a little fat, she wags her tail at him.

[Scattered Thumbs]

Nice dog! The stranger patts Daisy on the head and gets his hand tongue washed as Dasy waggs her tail furiously. ( I've met Labradors before, and they all loved me.  )

[Scattered Thumbs]

<Arthur's note: Mistery of life: All dogs love the Daltons  >