Newbrassky

[Delmonico]

<Both contain tolulene.>

[Delmonico]

After the meal of King Crab legs, Delmonico is sittin' on the bluff above where the trawler was operatin'.  Suddenly he hears funny souning music and a small dingy boat with "Orca" painted on it comes upstream, Robert Shaw is at the wheel.   Suddenly there is a large fin movin' u, upstream, this gives Delmonico an idea. 

He runs to the hose, grabs the strange paintin' and tosses it into the river in front of the fin.  A large teeth filled mouth opens up and engulfs the painting and then dissapears.

Delmonico says out loud, "That ought to keep the FFg from being sent to the insane asylum at Norfolk."   The strange music dies out as the head and fin of the Great White Shark dissapears.

[Scattered Thumbs]

Late during the night a rectangular portion of the kitchen wall starts to glow.
After a while an image starts forming on the glowing portion of the wall.




< Arthur's note. "JAWS" on the Dismal?  Gi'me a break will ya?  >

[litl rooster]

glowing the image of

[Scattered Thumbs]

That ain't me. 

And it isn't a fish slicker.

And no you can't have it. 

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

Hearing a voice in the kitchen, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother braces herself and enters.

"Hey! You aren't the man from the other portrait! And where is your frame?"

She stares as she sees the former painting is now a part of the wall.

[Scattered Thumbs]

"Hey! You aren't the man from the other portrait! And where is your frame?"

This is an avatar of me. 

After that the glowing gradualy fades away leaving the image as part of the wall.

She stares as she sees the former painting is now a part of the wall.

Ya catch on quick don'tcha? 

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

She squints at the "painting."

"Hey, wait a second, you look like that man who passed through here a while back. Gave us one name but his real name was something else. Why are you on the wall? Did somebody kill you? If you're dead, why did you come here to haunt?"

[Scattered Thumbs]

Why are you on the wall?

... 

Did somebody kill you?

Yeah! But that was a long time ago. ( ever watched "Pale Rider" ?  )

If you're dead, why did you come here to haunt?"

A man's got ta do what a man's got ta do. 

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

The Frumpy Fairy Godmother ponders that as she makes her coffee. If the man in the painting had intended harm to the people in the house, he could have already done so. All he had done was leer and wink, unless someone tried to remove him. Could she get used to having him in the house? Was it safe to have him in the house? Could she risk it? With a small shrug of her shoulders, she turned back to look at the wall.

"Will you tell me what it is that you've 'got to do'?"

[Scattered Thumbs]

"Will you tell me what it is that you've 'got to do'?"

Sore wa himitsu desu yo. 


< known fact: Those who ask questions to paintings in the wall, may get the answer in Japanese  >

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

She glares, then reaches in her pocket, pulls out a fish and sticks it in her ear. She listens a bit, frowns and puts the fish away.

"Derned smart aleck. Could mean: 'That's for me to know and you to find out,' or 'It is the secret of my death,' or, 'if I told you, I'd have to kill you.'  Which is it?"

[Scattered Thumbs]

You could go ask one of the crew members of the Japanese trawler instead of asking a fish. 

<known fact. Fish are big liars, or is that fishermen are big liars?  >

But I'm feeling generous today.

Absolutely free translation:

"That is a secret. "

So I guess your #1 option is the better choice.

[Delmonico]

I 'member, that's the guy with the dusty slicker or the slick duster.

<Authors note: As a native Newbrasskan I can do what I want with the rivers in my story.  There is some Italian movie where they sink a steam boat to almost the top of the stacks in the Platte River, then dive on it with primative diving gear to get the gold.  Before lake know as Big Mac was formed in the 1940's there was no place deep enough to float a steam boat let alone sink it. )

[Scattered Thumbs]

<Authors note: As a native Newbrasskan I can do what I want with the rivers in my story.  There is some Italian movie where they sink a steam boat to almost the top of the stacks in the Platte River, then dive on it with primative diving gear to get the gold.  Before lake know as Big Mac was formed in the 1940's there was no place deep enough to float a steam boat let alone sink it. )

Tall tales. Tall tales. Tall tales. Tall tales

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

The Frumpy Fairy Godmother pauses to give Delmonico a kiss on the cheek on her way out.

"Those funny crawdads were good last night, thank you! I'll be back in a bit, I'm out to harvest elbow macaroni and linguine."

Hooking her basket over her arm, she waves to the painting and Delmonico and heads to the garden.

[Capt. Hamp Cox]

Ever eaten any of the real ones?  I lived across Lake Ponchartrain from "Nawlins" for three years and developed a real likin' for those little "mud bugs".  Used to have block parties with those as the main dish with boiled corn on the cob and potatoes as sides.  Did a lot of peelin' and "head suckin' (after you eat the tails, you have to suck the good stuff out of the head ).  Really miss all that great Louisiana eatin'. 

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

The Frumpy Fairy Godmother pauses on the porch, smiling to the stranger. She's already forgotten the name he gave her to use.

"Aye, I've had them, but in a far away land. Had whole squid there, too, but they were small. Also pickled octopus. That was the test to see if you were a good customer. If the waiters didn't like you, they'd stick the suction cups to the plate."

[Capt. Hamp Cox]

Major Catastrophe (Alias, Capt. Screwup),  face red as a boiled mudbug, greatly embarrassed fer fergfettin' which thread he was in, hurridly pops an extry Aricept pill, and slithers back behind the drapes, vowing never again to interrupt the Frumpy Fairy Godmother when she was on a roll, hopin against hope that she was a falrly fair Frumpy Fairy Godmother, and would be free with her forgiveness, and remain friendly forever.

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

Her curiosity overcomes her desire for pasta and she wanders into the parlor, pulling back the drapes a bit.

"Major, are you all right? Why are you hiding in the drapes?"