Newbrassky

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

The Frumpy Fairy Godmother pauses in her perusal, tilting her head to listen. After a moment, she slaps her glasses down on her desk, picks up her wand and leaves her room. She stands outside Trinity's door, listening again.
"Peep Peep ... Peep ..... Peep"
"Peep Peep ... Peep ..... Peep"

Her eyes widen and she clenches her wand so tightly her knuckles turn white.
"Delmonico! Gopher Grease! Get up here! Trinity has the chicks and he's gonna kill them!"

[Scattered Thumbs]

Pardon the confused foreigner  With only limited knowledge of the English language.

I thought that "babes" and "cute chicks" were the same thing. I'm lost here

[Delmonico]

"Delmonico says, I think that's just Trinity peeping, looks like all the chicks are there.  Just get him another jug or two, we will be able to melt him down and make bullets soon."D

<Durned furrieeners, don't know why they think they should uderstand a language that has many words that sound and are spelled the same or different spellings for the same word or ever worsd spelled the same but prounounced different or even other such thinks, heck I can't 'splain it and I live here." 

"The soldier that was about to desert, ate his dessert in the desert."

[Silver Creek Slim]

Slim comes in from collecting eggs and milking the cow. He DOES NOT have milk foam in his mustache or beard!  HE puts the eggs and milk in the ice box. He pours himself a cup of coffee, gets a biscuit, and sits down at the table to break the fast. 

[Scattered Thumbs]

<Durned furrieeners, don't know why they think they should uderstand a language that has many words that sound and are spelled the same or different spellings for the same word or ever worsd spelled the same but prounounced different or even other such thinks, heck I can't 'splain it and I live here." 

You should try my language 

ie.
In Portuguese:

Como? Como como? Como como como.

meaning:

What? How I eat? I eat as I eat.

Bad translation  into English

What? What what? What what what. 

[Delmonico]

Delmonico notices raw egg yolk in Slim's beard.

[Silver Creek Slim]

Delmonico notices raw egg yolk in Slim's beard.

Slim IS NOT an egg sucker. He got that when he was eating the "sunnyside up" eggs he made after he eat the biscuit.

[Trinity]

"Now why is it ok fer Shlim ta eat aigs but it ain' ok fer me ta eat chicks??  Kin addybody answer me dat??" 

Trinity points to the left over eggs on the table and asks in a more quiet voice:  "Ya gonna eat dem, Shlim?  Addy bacon ta go wid dat?"

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

The Frumpy Fairy Godmother who inexplicable disappeared earlier (I had meetings all day), now reappears with a scattering of glittering sawdust.

"Eggs are neverwouldbechicks, Trinity. It's ok to eat eggs."

[Silver Creek Slim]

"Now why is it ok fer Shlim ta eat aigs but it ain' ok fer me ta eat chicks??  Kin addybody answer me dat??" 

Trinity points to the left over eggs on the table and asks in a more quiet voice:  "Ya gonna eat dem, Shlim?  Addy bacon ta go wid dat?"

"Ya kin have the eggs. There should be bacon in the ice box."

[Silver Creek Slim]

The Frumpy Fairy Godmother who inexplicable disappeared earlier (I had meetings all day), now reappears with a scattering of glittering sawdust.

"Eggs are neverwouldbechicks, Trinity. It's ok to eat eggs."

If ya gots a rooster, every egg is fertilized. 

[Delmonico]

Speaking of roosters, Slim about half those chicks are rooster chicks, if we want a rooster, we only need one!  That means you have to round them up and figure out which is which and treat them like ya do the cattle.   

No don't brand them but yer gonna have to casterate the excess.   Yes Slim, yer gonna have to learn to neuter a rooster! (Say that real fast 10 times. )

[Silver Creek Slim]

"I don't know how to make a capon. Will ya show me?" 

[Trinity]

Trinity can be found in the kitchen, leaning back in his chair asleep with one hand on his belly and the other hanging off to his side.  In front of him is a large, empty frying pan that shows evidence of having held a full content of eggs and bacon.  If that weren't evidence enough, there are approximately eighteen eggshells by the fire and over on the chopping block, there is what remains of the bacon...  a few sad, dried up end pieces.

[Delmonico]

Delmonico comes in and see's the mess in the kitchen and plans his revenge!

He then looks and Slim and says, "Sissiors Slim, little bitty sharp sissiors is what you need.  Now don't make me 'splain more, never figured out why they try to 'spain to kids about the birds and the bees.  They both are very different than peoples both a-gnat--o-ma-lee and re-pro-duck-a-tiv-lee!"

"Key word here is vent Slim, yer gonna have to wait a few years for hor-ee-moans ta do the job, now get to clippin'."

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

The Frumpy Fairy Godmother, who had actually tried to say "neuter a rooster" several times until it came out as "noodle a rooster," and she got disgusted and quit, looks over at Delmonico and Slim.

"And no, you MAY NOT use my embroidery scissors for the job."

[Delmonico]

SIDENOTE:  The originator of this whole mess in his research on "Foods of the Old West" and as author of "From the Chuckwagon" column in "The Shootist" the NCOWS magazine, asked himself the question of "How to Neuter a Rooster" while writing the Sept/Oct 2004 article.

Having a mind that goes beyond Google he did one better, he called a friend in Wayne Newbrassky, home of the "World Famous Wayne Chicken Festable".  The friend didn't know, but he put his mother on who explained the moder hormone method and the old clip with sisiors method, since her father used to raise capon's for market.  Wayne is a large chicken producing area.

She told me her dad used to keep some special one's back for their own use.  I now have nightmares of being attacked by a 12 pound Eunich chicken.

[Silver Creek Slim]

<For those interested in caponization, go to the following link for instructions.
http://groups.msn.com/CHICKENCHRONICLES/capons.msnw >

"Del, I afeared I don't know enough 'bout rooster inerds to tell the difference 'tween what I'z suppose to cut to and something else." 

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

"If the egg is fresh from the chicken, how can you tell if it's been fertilized?"

[Delmonico]

Delmonico looks at the above posts and coments;   "Ya'd think slim could find us a chicken scematic diagram.   The little red blood spot sometimes found on farm fresh eggs is the "Mark of the rooster."