Newbrassky

[Delmonico]

I kinda look like Solomon Butcher don't I?

[Silver Creek Slim]

Just a little. 

[Delmonico]

"Well off ta find watermelons, I done studied Solomons collection and we need watermelon."

[Delmonico]

Hours later Delmonico returns with several watermelons.  "I told ya there would be watermelons if'n I could find some sodbusters."

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"Whew that be a mouthful, wish I had enough pewter power ta post the picture.  Bet Slim al do it fer me if'n I do this stuff."

"Saw some other homesteaders, but I ain't buyin' no melons from folks that keep the milk cow on the roof."

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[Silver Creek Slim]

"Watermelons and cantaloupes (hint, hint) should grow well in the sandhills if they are irrigated."

[Silver Creek Slim]

  "Those are some big melons!"

[Silver Creek Slim]

"I would make sure ta have a fence ta keep that beef off the roof. I don't want no beef crashing trough the roof in the middle of my sleep."

[Delmonico]

"Ya been fooled Slim, the cow be on the hillside tied down.  Now get me big buther knife out we gonna have melon."

[Silver Creek Slim]

"Here ya go."

[Delmonico]

"Durn fools from the land-o-cheese,  that be a French Chef knife, I wanted my Sheffield butcher knife.  Google me up one a douse."

[Silver Creek Slim]

"Is dis betta?"

[Delmonico]

"Dat's it, lloks just like mine, cept mine has darker wood on da handle and don't have no sheaf cause I use it in da kitchen."  And with one fell swoop Delmonico cuts the mighty Black Diamond watermelon from the South Loup river.  It is at the perfection of ripeness and splits open with just a slight thrust of the knife. 

"Here Slim, ya may have good cheese in Wissyconsion, but there ain't no better watermelon in the world than the Black Diamonds that grow in the sandy soil near the South Loup river in Newbrasky."

[Silver Creek Slim]

"Thanks, Delmonico. We should keep some seeds so we can plant some next year." Slim takes a bite of the red flesh. "Wow. Dis is da bes mewin I evo tathid."

[Delmonico]

"Eat all ya want now, but none fer ya after 7;30, don't want ya ta be wettin' yer bedroll in the night."

[Silver Creek Slim]

"Okay, Dad." 

"Where are we on building the privy?"

[Delmonico]

"Trinity finished it a couple of days ago, but he left a couple of snakes in it and Gopher Grease blowed it up cause he don't like snakes.  We'll have ta get another one build, but quick cause our herd should be here soon."

[Silver Creek Slim]

"When ya dig a pit in this sand, how does ya keep the sand from caving in?"

[Trinity]

"Ya pee in the hole to keep the sand moist" yells Trinity from his bed. 

Trinity yawns big and proclaims "Boy was that a good nap, Ah'm so hongry, Ah feel like Ah can eat a cow."  Trinity grabs his '73 and looks for the cow on the roof everyone's been talkin about when he sees the job Gophergrease did on his outhouse.  " :oWhat in tarnation happened here?  Well, Ah can see that don' nobody like a good joke!"  Now Ah guess Ah gotta go where Ah been goin all along... that medder with them funny green balls what bleed.  Oh, look, Slim's eating on one of 'em now."

[Delmonico]

"Durn it Trinity, ya just digs a shallow hole so it don't collapeses, just move the thing once in a while."

[Delmonico]

After clickin' his mouse ta post that, Delmonico remembers ya can't just pick up a sod outhouse and move it.