Newbrassky

Delmonico · July 28, 2006, 06:33:53 PM

Dearly Beloved we are gathered here to join this couple in Holy Matermony, Trinity do you take this women to be your lawfully wedded wife?

Sod Buster · July 28, 2006, 06:38:19 PM

Quote from: Delmonico on July 28, 2006, 06:33:53 PM
Dearly Beloved we are gathered here to join this couple in Holy Matermony, Trinity do you take this women to be your lawfully wedded wife?

Sod Buster sprinkles Trinity with the Lavender toilet water!

Ozark Tracker · July 28, 2006, 06:40:51 PM

it gets down in his eye and he says ooww, the preacher thought he said I do.

Delmonico · July 28, 2006, 06:41:13 PM

It also causes him to sneeze achew.

They think he said it twice.

Sherleen do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband.

"I do."

Then by the power invested in me by the State of Newbrassky I pronouce you man and wife.

Trinity you may know kiss the bride.

Lucky Irish Tom · July 28, 2006, 06:50:07 PM

Irish brings out tha hitched up buggy wif tha white flowers an tha sign painted on the back JUST MARRIED

He helps the stunned Trinity and hiz new bride Sherlene inta tha buggy!

Trinity · July 28, 2006, 06:53:18 PM

Still reeling from the lavender water, Trinity finally comprehends what has happened. "Ah DON'!!!!! AH DON'!!!!!!! Take it back, Ah kain' git married, Ah's too young. Ah ain' no citerzen of Newbrasskey. Ah is still married to a woman back home. Ah's married ta five women. Ah ain' no member of tha church. Ah is a wife beater. Ah is a crook. Ah is a EEE-scaped felon. Ah kain' git married, ya see??!??!??"

Delmonico · July 28, 2006, 06:54:27 PM

No we don't.

Lucky Irish Tom · July 28, 2006, 06:58:46 PM

Trinity suddenly gets quiet, everyone thinks he is accepting his fate when actually Ozark decided to throw rice at the groom, unfortunately he forgot to take it out of the sack first!

Trinity · July 28, 2006, 07:06:46 PM

And they were the huge economy size sacks. Trinity lay motionless in the dirt.

Ozark Tracker · July 28, 2006, 07:10:47 PM

whoops, my mistake, I was just hurrying so's we could get ready for the chiv a ree later.

Trinity · July 28, 2006, 07:12:35 PM

Trinity still lies in the dirt as a mound wells up on his forehead.

Lucky Irish Tom · July 28, 2006, 07:14:13 PM

Sherlene asks tha fellers ta dump Trinity in tha buggy. She says, "It doan make no difrance fer our honeymoon night Trinity doan normally move much anyway!"

Trinity · July 28, 2006, 07:17:19 PM

<<Author's note: Objection!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh... he was talking about Trinity. Never mind.>>

Ozark Tracker · July 28, 2006, 07:53:37 PM

the buggy pulls away from the ranch, with the empty potted meat cans a clanging behind, toward still # 3 and the little cabin tha's just been finished fer Trinity and Sherlene.

Trinity · July 28, 2006, 08:48:48 PM

Trinity wakes with a ringing in his ears and a splitting headache. He see's Sherlene guiding the buggy toward a small cottage gaudily decorated in pink and pale blue. Sherlene is staring straight ahead, smiling broadly. Trinity passes out again.

Ozark Tracker · July 28, 2006, 09:07:57 PM

Trinity and Sherlene get out of the wagon and get into the house, where Trinty regains his composure. about that time the chiv a ree starts with Slim shooting off the mighty 10 a couple of times, everybody else banging pots and pans together, (cept fer Del, he's using cast iron pots.)

causing Trinity to jump up and bump the knot on his head.

Ozark Tracker · July 28, 2006, 09:12:18 PM

authors note (for those who are not familiar with shivaree)

Shivaree
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A shivaree is a clamorous salutation made to a newlywed couple by an assembled crowd of neighbors and friends. Its original name was charivari.

In the American Midwest, along the Missouri River in Nebraska and Missouri, the term takes on the meaning of playfully kidnapping the bride, curiously similar to some Central Asian traditions.

Delmonico · July 28, 2006, 10:44:20 PM

They brought her back both times.

We had my cuzzin' in her dress in a wheel barrow, (we put in a nice quilt) up on the island running up the middle of the main street of Lincoln near downtown.

Trinity · July 29, 2006, 02:28:43 PM

Trinity's vision is still blurry from knocking the knot again, but he can see a cart is on it's way toward them. As it nears, Trinity realizes it is Mrs. Collingwood and she does not look happy.

Ozark Tracker · July 29, 2006, 03:06:22 PM

Mrs Collingwood starts a yapping at Trinity as she climbs off'n the buggy and follow him up the path to the house, and goes inside to talk to both Trinity and Sherlene.

It seems now that all the girls have decided they want to get them a steady feller too maybe settle down and get hitched. Mrs Collingwood is beside herself,