Newbrassky

[Delmonico]

When Delmonico sees lit rooster coming with the block of ice with Trinity inside, he goes and gets a washtub to stand the ice in.  Don't need the water on the kitchen floor.

When Trinity is in the washtub Delmonico gets and Idea and gets some of his citrus fuit he had shipped in for Christmas and cuts it up and puts it in the tub, he then added some canned fruit juice and some gin.  He gets a ladle and scoops it up into cups, "Fruit Punch anyone?"

[litl rooster]

the label reads
ALSO AVAILABLE IN:
.16/16 GA.
.20/20 GA.
.28/28 GA.
AND COMBINATIONS OF.

FOR OUR FAR SIGHTED SHOOTERS
ALSO AVAILABLE IN:
.410/410 GA
NEAR SIGHTED SHOOTERS
.10/10 GA
AND BIFOCALS TOO!!
CAUTION:
OBJECTS IN VIEW MAY BE CLOSER THEN THEY APPEAR!!





Light at the End of the Tunnel Shooters Glasses
By Litl' Rooster

Endorsed by:
The world renowned Bozo's on the Bus
Shooting Team

NOT YET APPROVED BY:
SASS, NCOWS, NRA, IBBA, NMLRA, OSHA, NAFTA, NHRA, AND OTHERS




authors note: sorry the real lable didn't print.

[Trinity]

As the ice melts away from Trinity's head, he is finally able to talk. 

"Thanks, litl' rooster, fer them funny glasses.  Them mus' be some sort of magical glasses, cuz when Ah put them on... read what?  Ah kain' read.

Say... would someone please pour some of that there punch in mah mouth?

[Delmonico]

Delmonico goes and gets one of the Rigby 8 gauge cases ans squints his eye enough to hold it, He looks up and says, "Verrrly interestin', Sgt. Schultz, throw these men in to cooler."

He then graps a wooden spoon, tucks it under his arm and marches to his office and closes the door.   Soon an order is runnin' along the barbed wyre for a Model 1871/84 Mauser and Model 1883 service Revolver.  As an after thought he orders a black leather helmet with a large spike on top and a case of DMW ammo for both .

He then writes a letter,

Dear Count Ferdnand Von Zeppelin,

Was reading an article about you spearments with airships, would you please send me a price quote on your first production model as soon as you have the flaws ironed out. Address the quote to Delmonico, at, The Ranch with No Name, Dismal River, Newbrassky.  Let me know as soon as possible, I have an interesting idea as for a practical use for one.

Yours Truly
Delmonico

PS, tell Willy Howdy for me, got an E-Mail from his granny Vicky the other day.  She says she wants him and the rest of his cuzins to try to get along better, it will cause trouble in the family if they ain't careful

[litl rooster]

with the help of Trinity we pack the tub of fruit punch and bottle of sqizzens to the cooler.  Pard, maybe could trade sum of this juice off to the others there...

[Delmonico]

When Trinity is asleep under the Christmas tree, Delmonico grabs his jug and adds enough white sugar to make it syrupy and then adds some peppermint extract.   He them puts a beef roast in a merry-nate of vinegar, water, salt onions, garlic, bay leaf, sugar and peppercorns and puts it in the icebox.

He then bakes up a batch of ginger snap cookies and makes some pumpernicle bread.

[Lucky Irish Tom]

Irish hears Trinity's lamenting plea and pours several ladelfull of the Fruit Punch into Trinity's mouth.  He then gets a cup of coffee for himself, he hears Delmonico typing away on something in his room.  Irish decides to go out on the porch to finish his coffee.

[Trinity]

"Thankee fer tha drank, pard!  Ah needed that.  Sleepin' standin' up in a block of ice ain' ver' comfortable!  Kin Ah have another ladle?" 

*Sniff* *Sniff*  "Issat Ginger snaps Ah smail?"

[Delmonico]

But by now the merry-nated roast has been cooked  till tender and the gingersnap cookies are crunched up and in the gravy.

[Ozark Tracker]

Unknown to the others in the ranch house,  Trinity spots what looks like a coyote or wolf but it has one blue light eye, could this be one of the creatures that took Delmonico, could this be the end for Trinity, are the sheep in Danger What will happen Now??

[Trinity]

Well, lucky for Trinity, enough ice has melted from his feet that he is able to hop out of the pan and run upstairs on his tip-toes and hide in the FFG's cupola.  Inside, he finds the FFG napping with two mama dogs, one papa dog, several baby dogs, one big cat, a sheep and a chicken with a mis-matched head sleeping all around her.  Oh yes, and one spider who is snoring louder than the entire crew.

[Delmonico]

Delmonico goes into the Wedgewood room and looks into the mirror, he decides that putting a dueling scar on his cheek with a saper is gonna hurt really bad and decides against it.   Instead he goes out and watches to make sure the French are not going to attack.  

He knows if he thwarts off an attack Bismark will award him an Iron Cross.

[Silver Creek Slim]

Slim rides into the dooryard and sees a canine critter with a blue light eye. He's not sure if he should shoot it or let it alone 'cuz it might be some enchanted critter. He decides ta let it alone and takes his horse into the barn. He emerges from the barn with the saddlebags and his new "Mighty Ten" that he got fer Christmas.

[Delmonico]

delmonico decides the Mother Ranch is safe, he realizes the only Frenchman near by is about a 150 miles to the North West and is really Swiss.   (I'll give you a dollar if'n ya figure that one Slim.)

He decides to go in and have a samwhich for luch,  Braunschweiger on pumpernickle, with sharp cheddar, mustard, horse radish and a few raw cabbage leaves.

[Silver Creek Slim]

Slim walks into the kitchen to put the Wiscooooooooooonsin cheese in the icebox. He is hit by a shockwave of odor that almost makes him retch. He pinches his nose and puts the cheese in the icebox. "Del, how can ya eat that nasty liver sausage?" 

<Authur's note: Only a dollar?>

[Delmonico]

<Author's Note:  Ok, two loaves of my Czech Sourdough rye like I passed around last year at the NCOWS Conv, I'll bring them to the Conv. this year if ya figured it out, the right Google request shood get it.  I'll check. >

[Delmonico]

<It's there Slim, got 7500 hits. >

[Trinity]

Leberwurst is not as bad as Leber by itself!

[Delmonico]

Delmonico decides to go out for a walk in the moonlight, so he graps a 73 winchester and heads out for a walk,  About 3 miles west of the ranch house he comes to a spot where the grass is laid flat, lots of it, for now reason, flat like some myserious force has done it, flatter than a pancake flat.

Seeing more of it up ahead it gives Delmonico a strange feeling something is wrong and he heads back to the house rather quickly.   It just seems like something that needs looked at better in the daylight.

[Trinity]

With most of the ice now melted and only his trunk and arms still frozen, Trinity goes and stands in the middle of the strange flattened grass in the hopes that some strange power will melt the rest of the ice will off.

Suddenly a deep voice booms from above... or from the east, no west.  Heck a deep voice booms from somewhere:

From far beyond the galaxies I've journeyed to this place
To study the behavior patterns of the human race
And I find them highly illogical

Girl meets boy they fall in love
She says he's everything she's dreamed of
But when they get married before he's aware
She changes his habits the way he combs his hair
She changes him to someone he's never been
And then complains he's not like other men
Now really I find this most illogical

Take the case of your automobiles
Greatest invention since man discovered wheels
Hydromantic overdrive four-on-the-floor
Pushbutton windows pushbutton doors
Double barreled carburetors rush you anyplace
But you never can find a parking space
Highly illogical

Take the case of modern man
He works all his life gives it all he can
Saves all his money works overtime
Pinches every penny banks every dime
All he can think about is money but you know
That he can't take it with him where he's going to go
Now I find that fascinatingly illogical

Now is the time to journey home to tell of what I've learned
My people I believe have every right to be concerned
For in spite of computers and advanced psychology
Behavior patterns are still a mystery
I predict the future of this earthly human race
Is that having made a mess of Earth They'll move to outer space
Well there goes the neighborhood
Totally, completely, absolutely, irrevocably, highly illogical