Newbrassky

[Ornery Orr]

Ornery Orr looks back and forth at these folks and tries to follow their conversation.  The lady looks like she just had a bath, and the feller on the porch in front of her looks like he ain't had one in a month.  The two cooks look normal enough except that one of them is wielding a wooden spoon that more closely resembles a Pawnee war club.  
    "I was talking about that thing that has been leaving the markings in the field.  You know, that thing that just flew over us."  "I've got me a little tool here that I think can help us get one 'o them things out of the sky.  I call it Hellfire."

[Silver Creek Slim]

"I'll hep ya load Hellfire. I'z in the mood fer revenge." 

[Ornery Orr]

Come on Slim, I'll show 'ya how this works.  First, we pack 'er full of powder, (Ornery dumps about a pound of Black Powder into the tube).  Then we drop this little baby on top.  This is what I call an airburst canister.  Inside of this little baby I've packed a canister of 2 pounds of Black Powder surrounded by another canister of surplus .68 caliber musket balls.  The first charge will propel the airburst about two to three hundred feet into the air, the internal fuse burns down in the charge then WHAMMY!!

[Silver Creek Slim]

"WOW! That sounds like lots of fun! Now, where's that flyin' plate?" 

[Delmonico]

I think they went to fetch more vasoline.

[Silver Creek Slim]

"Let's load up Hellfire." 

[Ornery Orr]

Ornery looks at Slim and replies, "We just did and we ain't shot it yet!  You sure are an eager sort, ain't 'ya?"  "What we need to do now is lure them back over here so we can get a shot."  "We'll need a decoy."  Everybody turns and starts looking at Slim.

[Silver Creek Slim]

"Not me! We can use some beeves and sheep." 

[Delmonico]

Disclaimer: The sheep on this ranch are the sole propery of Silver Creek Slim and not other owners or personel on "The Ranch With No Name" have any claim or ownership of these filthy beasts.  In fact we make Slim keep them at least 10 miles from the house at all time.

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

"DON'T AIM IT AT THE HOUSE!!!"

And with that, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother goes off to get some leather gloves and the coal tar.

[Delmonico]

If', they hit the house and destroy my fancy Wegewood flushing water closet and the matchin' China dishes i'm goona shoot them both and put their bodies in a barrel of sourdough.  Won't find nothin after a few days.

[Silver Creek Slim]

"I wouldn't dream of damaging yer Wedgewood. By the by, I don't remember why I got dem sheep." 

[Delmonico]

I had nothin' to do with no sheep, maybe the hogs, but not no sheep.

[Silver Creek Slim]

I'll have ta check back in the story line ta find out.

[Ornery Orr]

Suddenly in the distance, there was heard a faint whistling noise.  Ornery readied hellfire with a lucifer in one hand and his left ear in the other, one eye squinted shut and the other open, he scanned the skies for the target. He hollered to Slim, "Here it comes, run out in the open and see if you can get them to hover over the barnyard.  When you hear the WHOOOMP, give yerself 3 seconds then hit the dirt and cover 'yer head.

[Silver Creek Slim]

"Okay, I'z game." Slim runs out into the open of the barnyard hoping that Hellfire does the job.

[Ornery Orr]

As the disc shaped object approached within range, Ornery lit the lucifer.  The saucer started to slow as it neared the barnyard. Ornery lit the fuse and went to the ground.  WHOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMPPPP!!!!!  Slim was counting to himself, "One one thousand, Two one thousand, Three one thousand."  Then he hit the dirt.  There was a godawful explosion in the vicinity of the contraption then the sound of moving parts coming unhinged from their mountings.  The craft slowly started away from the farm and was about 400 yards away when there was this thundering rifle shot from the cupolo.  Everybody looked up at the window to see Gophergrease and the 50-120 poking out through the window.  They glanced back towards the horizon to see the ship trailing smoke and nosing over as it lost altitude and crashed resulting in a fiery cloud of dirt and debris billowing into a mushroom cloud.  Within seconds the concussion of the blast hit them along with a blast of hot wind and pelting grains of sand that stung like little daggers.  When the dust settled, Ornery sits up, looks up at Gophergrease and says, "Loadin' them things a mite hot don't you think?"

[Silver Creek Slim]

"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw! Revenge is sweet!"  Slim does a little jig in the barnyard.

[Ornery Orr]

Ornery picks himself up off the ground, dusts himself off and starts to load hellfire back into the buckboard.  "Looks like my work here is done, guess I'll be movin' on."

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

Gloved hands full of coil oil that she is working into Trinity's hair, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother watches in awe.

"Please stay, Mister, least we can do is feed you."

(OO, please check your PMs?)