Irish Tom's "Greener than Grass Pub"

[Ozark Tracker]

Tom furnishes Trinity with a vehicle to get around the bar, 

[Trinity]

"Wail, it's a heap better than Dail's tricycle.  You know how he lahks ta make ever'thang difficult!"

[Ozark Tracker]

Feeling sorry for Trinity having to ride the square wheel trike, Tom gives Trinity an attack dog to help him out on his rounds.

[Trinity]

Trinity hires on a cat to help with the rounds too.  This cat seemed to Trinity to have his priorities in the right place.

[Russ T Chambers]

Trinity hires on a cat to help with the rounds too.  This cat seemed to Trinity to have his priorities in the right place.

If your cat is going to crash and burn like that, he needs to were his crash helmet!!!

[Silver Creek Slim]

 

Slim

[Trinity]

 

[Delmonico]

Irish Tom recieves a letter from Hooters CEO,

Dear Tom:

We have a Hooters that has been mismanaged in it's
last two locations.  We have it in good hands now
but the local officials are corrupt and are tryin' to get
their hands to deep in the take.  If this location does
not work out would you consider a combination
Irish Pub and Hooters?  We have a good man in place
right now as managers, we could have him run the
day to day bizziness and use you mostly for your good
name.

CEO Hooters

PS We had Mega Movers from The History Channel
leave the wheels on it this time.

[DArchangel]

Irish Tom, let me go over that contract before you sign it. These HOOTERS people seem kind of Delmonico in a card game. I.E.not all the cards are koshor! (thats a legal term)

[Delmonico]

Funny you mention cards, The Hooters CEO said the last two managers wern't playin' with a full deck.

[Trinity]

From the third barstool from the entrance, a drunken Trinity lifts his head and moans sorrowfully.

[Ozark Tracker]

feelling real sorry for his self Trinity starts to sing



Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz?
My friends all drive Porches, and I must make amends.
Worked hard all my life time, no help from my friends.
So, oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz?


Oh Lord, won't you buy me a color TV?
Dialing For Dollars is trying to find me.
I wait for delivery each day until three.
So, Lord, won't you buy me a color TV?


Oh Lord, won't you buy me a night on the town?
IÕm counting on you Lord, please donÕt let me down.
Prove that you love me and buy the next round.
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a night on the town?




Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz?
My friends all drive Porches, and I must make amends.
Worked hard all my life time, no help from my friends.
So, oh Lord, wonÕt you buy me a Mercedes Benz?

[Lucky Irish Tom]

Not realizing that the HOOTERS is on wheels Trinity doesn't understand that its motion sickness.

[Trinity]

Suddenly he barfs in the spittoon.  "Barchender.  Cut me another slash of that black *Hick* black beer."

[Delmonico]

The eller-funk enters The Irish Tom Pub, eats all the soady bread, spills the beer and drinks all the whiskey, he staggers out of the pub and the thread.

[Sod Buster]

The eller-funk enters The Irish Tom Pub, eats all the soady bread, spills the beer and drinks all the whiskey, he staggers out of the pub and the thread.

In an effort to help catch the eller-funk, Sod Buster places some of the eller-funk's fav-o-rite food in No Man's Land (area between the threads):

Bamboo, berries, coconuts, corn, dates, plums, and sugar cane.  Since eller-funks like to use their tusks to tear bark off of trees, Soddy places these "treats" right next to some Cottonwood trees.

[Ozark Tracker]

Slim finds all of Sod Busters goodies he left for the eller funk and sits down for a snack and leans back against the cottonwood tree and sings to his self to relax

In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the eller funk slleeps tonight.

[Sod Buster]

Slim finds all of Sod Busters goodies he left for the eller funk and sits down for a snack and leans back against the cottonwood tree and sings to his self to relax

In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the eller funk slleeps tonight.

Sod Buster comes by and sees the sloth-full Slim eatin' the eller-funk snacks and cries NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
but it is loo late.  Sloth-full Slim has devored the snacks.


Off in the distance.....a rumbling is heard......the eller-funk is on the way.....and he won't be too happy that his snacks have been stolen.

[Ozark Tracker]

Slims in trouble now, he's full of all the fruit and goodies Sod Buster left fer the critter, now Slim's a having to run fer it and now he needs to pee too.

[Delmonico]

The excessive consuption of the dates and plums is also startin' to work on Slim, his rumblin' is gettin' as loud as the eller-funk.