Nuther Story!

[Delmonico]

Good these other three are runnin' round like chickens with their heads cut off,.  Trinty and the Drifter got lost and the Sarge is headed down ta that brothel on wheels fer whiskey and floosies.  Every time we need him he is off chasing floosie.  Well the round up begains the day after tommorow, will just have some one rope the Sarge and take care of the chasing flooses, guess we can brand him at the same time.

[Silver Creek Slim]

After I get some grub, I will go round up Sarge so we can brand...

[Delmonico]

I'll get the fire built up and a knife sharpened.   Ya supose them other two'll show up or is you gonna have ta look fer them.  When ya find the Sarge we better not make him inta a steer yet or brand him.  Ya'll need him ta find the other two and ta help on the brandin', we can do the other when we have more help and when everything else is done cause he's gonna be sore and wuthless fer a few days.     But I think it needs ta be done, ya know how much better yer dog is now that we did that, ain't out chasin' every dog in heat like the Sarge is now.

[Silver Creek Slim]

I guess you are right.  Give me some grub and I will be off to find Sarge and the boys.

Slim

[Delmonico]

Here, just fill up one of these plates, yer gonna have ta scroll back a ways ta find out what I cooked, I've been so upset about not hav'n enough help ta get the roundup done that I fergot.  It's too bad Marshall Halloway is so busy with the board he can't ramrod this roundup, he would keep those other three in line.  Besides that he had some sort of accident with one of those new-fangled electrical devices, last time I seen him he was walkin' kinda funny.

Oh by the way he waddled by when we were in town, said you were the wagon boss here, raised yer wages ta $40 and found and with them other three yer gonna earn it,

If any cowpunchers wander by, da we needs ta hire them, I know most in the area.

Sourdough whole wheat toasted cheese sandwiches fer supper, yer favorite.

[Silver Creek Slim]

Thanks for the grub.
I try it stay away from them new-fangled 'lectric thingys.

My, the wagon boss.  I might have to get a bullwhip the next time I go ta town.

We might need more than the 5 of us for the roundup. Go ahead and signon a few more punchers that don't look like a lot of trouble.

I'll be back fer supper if I got the boys in tow or not. I am not gonna miss cheese sandvishes. 

*Slim gets on his horse (from the left side) and rides off in the direction Delmonico said he saw the wagon of "ladies".*

[Delmonico]

Well Slim ate the rest of the grub, where does he put all that, maybe he's got a tapeworm,  \might have ta dig up the turpintine and dose him.      

Well I got the ovens and the rest of the dishes done.  With the bread fer the sanviches done all I needs ta do is figger out dessert and I gots and idea.  Sinch the Sarge didn't want the brandy, I'll just make some sourdough pankakes and pour the brandy over them and lites it on fyre.  Sourdough Crepe Suzzetes, must be careful though, least it ain't windy ta day, last time I made those Slim dropped his plate and the prairie fire went fer a long and burnt out all those ranchers south of the Cimmaron and we were up on the Powder when it happened.  But I'll never tell them it was Slim's fault, even if there be a reward.

[Delmonico]

Now what, there is a big bunch ridin' from the dierection of town, it can't be Slim yet, to many anyway.  I'll just grab the sarge's field glasses out of the chuckwagon and take a peek.

Oh, bother it is that deputy from town, and he seems to have most of that rabble from the livery stable with him, I spose he is lookin' for somebody, that bunch almost looks like a posse of sorts.  I hope the birds don't eat the bread crumbs they always leave ta find their way home.  The last time they formed a posse they got lost for a month, ended up in Iowa and had ta ship them and their horses back by train. 

[Delmonico]

Delmonico sits in his rocking chair that he always carries it the chuckwagon and waits while the posse ties up their horses a 100 yards from camp, cause they know Delmonico don't take ta horses in in cookcamp and has a gun with two 10 gauge barrels side by side, a 50-90 barrel below and a 32-20 barrel in the rib.  ( Gift from a visiting German Baron who likes sourdough pumpernickle bread and sauerbraten)

The deputy and the rest of the posse come up to the camp, careful not to stir up dust.  The deputy says, we have a warrent fer Sergeant Smokepole, he busted up the Lawyer's office and run him out of town.

Delmonico says, "Well yer warrent ain't good here, that happened on another thread in the Longbranch fourm.  You know you're warrent is only good in the same thread in the same forum."

The last time this happened Marshall Halloway made it clear ta you on that point and even yer 2 bit lawyer tolt ya that.  Besides that this is the Marshall's round up camp and if you arrest one of his cowboys ya might get banned from the board.  Silver Creek Slim went ta get the Sarge and ya better not tell him what yer tryin' ta do, cause he's one of the moderators on this board.  As fer them papers go ahead and leave them, we is havin' Crepe Suzzetes tonight fer supper and Trinity might just need them.

However if ya want a job deputy we is hirin', Slim (who said I could say poop) will pay ya more ta scoop up the poop from our remuda than ya get paid in town ta scoop it out of the livery stable. 
Couse their ain't much else yer good fer, if we sent ya out ta roundup cattle we would have ta wire ya money fer a train ticket, and ya ain't worth it.

[Silver Creek Slim]

'Bout 5 miles from camp, Slim sees a couple of wagons in the distance.

[Delmonico]

With Slim out lookin' fer the other three and the posse follerin' the trail of bread crumbs back ta town, Delmonico decides ta take a nap under the wagon till somethin' else happens.

[Silver Creek Slim]

With Slim out lookin' fer the other three and the posse follerin' the trail of bread crumbs back ta town, Delmonico decides ta take a nap under the wagon till somethin' else happens.

Hey! You stole my idea!  I think I need an expreeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssssssssssssssssssoooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

Slim

[Delmonico]

About 2 miles before he gets ta the brothel on wheels, Slim notices another wagon, a small one withe covered sides and a window.  The sign on the side says,

Hanging Woman Creek Coffee Wagon
Lattes, Espresso and Fruit Smoothies

Slim rides up ta the window and orders a douple shot of essppprrressooo ta go.

This gives him the get up ta get up and do what needs ta be done.

Mean while back at the chuckwagon flies are starting ta bite Delmonico, made at the Deputy fer leaving fly bait behind with out cleaning it up, Delmonico goes ta the portable icebox he always carries in the chuckwagon anf get a cold Cream Soda ta sip on till there is some sign that Slim has been successful on bringing back the wayward crew.

[Silver Creek Slim]

Slim gets to the wagons. He rousts Sarge and Drifter from the wagons. Since they are a bit tipsy, he has to tie them on their saddles so they don't fall off. He leads them back in the direction of the chuckwagon. Now, he has to figure out where Trinity went.

[Sergeant Smokepole]

Slim asks the sarge, "How was the whorehouse?" Sarge responds "Stanky, Skanky, Thanky." He had a grin that only a half dozen tarts in the territory could have given him.  Slim queried "Stanky Sophie and Skanky Sadie?"

Sarge smiles and said Yep.......

"What's this bullcrap about some deputy havin' a warrant for me? I shoulda kilt that maggot. Seems like every time I'm fellin' a tad charitable, ir comes back to bite me in the ass."
"I guess I'm gonna have to go on a little huntin' party before the roundup" and rolled over the wagon side and disappeared into the sage.

Slim says "Damn him....."

[Silver Creek Slim]

"Oh well, I still have Drifter," says Slim. He continues toward the chuckwagon.

[Delmonico]

Delmonico finishes his soda and tosses the bottle in the pile under the tree.  "Must get Slim ta take these ta town and get our deposit back on them."

Wonder if Slim is havin' any luck with the crew. 

[Trinity]

Back at the camp on the day after the night in the saloon, Trinity drinks his twentieth cup of coffee and, attempting to stand up, realizes that the combination of way too much booze the night before and too much coffee this morning has not had a good effect.  He could raise himself, but was dizzy and very shakey!  There was only one thing that could relieve this predicament...  Whiskey!!!

Trinity drags over to Delmonico at the the Chuckwagon and, to his great horror, discovers that there is no more booze  "Oh my god!" cries Trinity and grumbles off to his bed roll.  This has to be remedied.  He quickly pulls on the boots laying next to his bed and runs to his horse.  Then he runs back, removes Slims boots and searches for his.  After finding and donning his boots, he runs again to his horse (in a line not unlike that that a bee makes... not straight) and tears off to town.

After being gone for roughly twelve hours, Trinity begins to regret this rash move. He is hungry, he has no idea where he is, he is hungry, he doesn't know where town is and most importantly... He's Hungry!  Boy wouldn't some of Delmonico's chili be good right now?  Along with some of his sourdough bread to sop up the greasy remnants.  Oops, did he say greasy?  He didn't mean it... that is not very PC these days.  He meant Delectable. 

Just then a cook he had known from a previous job named Nightlinger was riding by when he recognized his old friend.  Noticing Trinity's extreme hunger, but not having time (something about working with a bunch of boys) he suggested he stop by a couple of wagons he had just left...

When Trinity arrived... Trinity forgot his need for food entirely and a new hunger welled up within his body when he saw the beauties!

"Why hello there cowboy", the girls crooned.  "What might you be doing out here?"  Trinity very briefly explained his need for whiskey, directions and... well, you know what else.

The evening after next, Trinity rolled out of the wagon, looked over the girls to make sure he hadn't missed one and then settled up with the Madamme.  Now with all of his appetites sated (with the exception of one since it appears that one of their previous customers cleaned them out of their booze.  They wouldn't say who, being the fine women of principle that they are) and a set of directions, Trinity set out for the town to complete his original mission.

On his return trip, Trinity stops back by the girls wagons (just to make sure everything is going alright) and eventually makes it back to camp hooting and hollering.  As the buckboard rolls up the few pards at the camp jump up to see who is making such a racket and disturbing their gourmet meal. Trinity stands up, scratches and calls out "Sarge, there you are, we were all wondering where you disappeared to!"

The Sarge replies:  "Me? what are you talking abo... say..., what's in them cases?"  Trinity scratches, "Them?  Them's the cases of George Dickel which Ah went to get.  Ah got us a whole buckboard full.  We also got us two cases of Mezcal for them that be wantin' a hurtin"  Ah recon it ought to last us a few nights.  Mebbe more ifn the other fellers don' come back.  Ah also brung some espresssssooooo fer you, Delmonico.

Trinity scratches himself, grabs a crate and takes it to the table.

[Sergeant Smokepole]

"Trinity, You're an OK kinda guy. Pass me a bottle o' Dickel and set down from the buck board."

Trinity looks over and sees something swingin' from the nearby tree. He walks over to get a better look. There he swings, all trussed up, bound and gagged, was Lawyer Dagit. Trinity asks Sarge, "did you do this?" Sarge just looked at him and slid out this evil grin and said nothing. Trinity walks over and sees that tyhe way that Dagit was trussed up, that he was in no danger of actually hangin' but only had the looks of takin' the final swing. He looked at The Sarge and said" I saw that on Kennesaw Mountain in 63. There was a Yank all trussed up like this."

Sarge said "I don't know who did this and nobody can prove anything.".....

Sarge walked up and loosened the gag over Dagit's mouth. Dagit, in a panicked voice, said" please let me go. I'll drop all charges and leave the territory. You're a madman and shouldn't be left out in the public.

Sarge cut him loose and as he did so, leaned over to Dagit and whispered something in his ear. Dagit lost control of his bodily functions and soiled himself so bad that the dog walking by moved away... He walked awa, whinpering like a whipped puppy.

Sarge smiled and said, "Trinity, break open that Dickel."

[Delmonico]

Well you boys play nice with that lawyer fella, don't drink so much ya can't get up in the morning.  I sent Slim in ta town ta fetch the Doc, his big syringe and his calomel (mercuric chloride) ta cure you of what ya got from those ladies back at that wagon.  Ya must like Doc shootin' that calomel up yer man parts or ya sure would find cleaner ladies ta dally with.  I do hope the Doc ain't drunk like he was the last time he gave ya the cure, I know the turpintine was an honest mistake. (HE HE HAW)

We ain't got much ta do tamarrow so we'll have breakfast bout 8.  The doc should be har bout 10 ta clean ya boys out.

Delmonico then heads ta a wall tent he had stashed in the chuckwagon, on the cot there is a feather tick and a couple of nice quilts and since it is a bit cool outside a pot bellied stove has a nice fire goin' in it.  As Delmonico drifts off ta sleep he is thinking that maybe Slim should have got a couple more teams of mules fer the chuckwagon cause it seems ta grow heavier by the hour.