Nuther Story!

[Silver Creek Slim]

Bout nine AM, Slim rides into camp with Doc, who is schnockered of course, in tow. Slim yells, "Delmonico, wake up! Breakfast is supposed to be at 8 bells!" "If I didn't have to babysit you guys, we might be able to roundup some beeves."

[Delmonico]

Slim walks over ta the wall tent and finds Delmonico gagged and tied up, removing the gag he finds out the crew didn't want breakfast at 8 am, but instead of telling the cook in a nice manner in their drunken stupor they tie him up instead.

But our cosie is not offended, he has a sense of humor and when no one is lookin' he adds Tabasco Sauce to the Doc's calomel solution that he is about to inject you know where in the infected members of the crew.

Don't get excited Slim, the rest of the ranches are not going ta have their crews here for two days.  There is some bread and cheese ya can have fer breakfast, I'm going ta town ta see if I can find some more men ta help.  You keep an eye on these three and keep them in camp while I'm gone, but the pepper sauce treatment will most likley keep them down soaking themselves in the creek the rest of the day. 

Don't worry about them drinkin' to much either, I just put Syrup of Ipeeekack in all there bottles, 2 sips of that and they will be recthing their guts out.  I also put the bottles down by the creek, that way you won't have ta watch the mess. and the water will was it away.  "Remember though always drink upsteam from the drunks."

As Delmonico saddles one of the mules he laughs to himself, "Them guys in Monty Walsh ain't seen nothin' like what gonna happen ta these guys, aggrivate the cook, not to bright."

[Silver Creek Slim]

Slim says, "That sounds good to me, Delmonico. But, watch out for banditos. I heard from the US Marshal that he was tracking some down in this area." Delmonico rides toward town. Slim starts the fire and puts on a new pot of coffee. He gets some bread and cheese for breakfast. The Doc gives the boys their treatment. In about 10 seconds, the boys come a running out of the tent and jump in the creek. Slim yells to them through tears of laughter, "Serves ya right for socializing with the 'ladies'."

[Delmonico]

As Delmonico rides toward town he sees a pony with a rider coming taward him, a little brown pony, bout the color of chawing tabbacer.  The pony had an old Texas kack style saddle on it and in the saddle was a young feller, with a cotton sack a clothes.  He had one brooguns and 1 OK spur, he said< My wicked stepmother drove me from home, can I get a job, though I don't know much about cows."

Delmonico says "sure, just head down the trail ta where ya hear all that yellin', talk ta Slim, we need a horse wrangler and he'll take a liken ta ya cause he has 15 kids of his own."

As the kid heads ta the camp, Delmonico heads inta town armed with 2 LeMatts in case of trouble.

[Silver Creek Slim]

Slim looks down the trail toward town as he takes a bite of cheese. He sees a small horse and rider coming up the trail. He puts the 10 bore mule ear across his lap and continues to eat his breakfast.

[Delmonico]

As Delmonico heads on into town he sees another young feller comin' up the road, this time on a paint pony.  As he stops ta howdy with the feller the young man tells him, "I had a fight with my pa and two brothers, do ya need another hand?

Delmonico says, "sorry Cartwright, we already have one Little Joe in this story, it would make it confusing ta have another."   "I did here there is another story lookin' fer a Teanage Wolfman, ya might ask around about it."

As Little Joe the Cartwright heads on down the trail, Delmonico heads again in the direction of town.

[Delmonico]

As Delmonico arrives in town he passes the General Store, this reminds him that he needs some Tabasco Sauce since all he has was "accidently' used by the Doc ta cure the Social Disease of the men at camp.   He does wonder where he will find some more hands, at least a couple more will help although he knows that when it comes ta the roundup the drunken hands who like ta chase whores will really buckle down and do their jobs, if they survive to the start of the roundup.

An ad in the paper would be a good idea but since it comes out on Tuesday and it is already Wedsday it will be almost a week before anyone reads the ad.  Then an idea comes to mind, "It worked fer John Wayne, it will work for us," and Delmonico heads ta the schoolhouse.

[Silver Creek Slim]

Now wait a cotton-pick'n minute!  What do you mean by "It worked fer John Wayne, it will work for us,"? John Wayne's character, Wil Anderson, died in the movie. He was the ramrod. Since I am the wagonmaster/ramrod, I might end up just like Wil Anderson. 

Slim

[Delmonico]

(Never fear Slim, I got it figured ahead!) 

As Delmonico heads ta the schoolhouse he remembers that John Wayne had ta wait till school was out, and since this is a fall roundup, waiting till sping won't work.

Then lurking around down by the river near town is a group of ragged lookin' men, the leader with really long stringy hair and funny eyes.  Takin' a closer look it turns out ta be Bruce Dern and his crew from the same movie.

"Howdy," they say, "Ya lookin fer some good hands, we're lookin' fer a job and we promise not ta shoot yer boss in the back, we got kilt the last time we did that, but we've reformed since then."

Delmonico says, "Sounds good ta me, I belive in givin'a man a chance, if ya got ta kill any one don't kill Slim, he has 15 kids.  If ya got ta kill someone I would rather ya killed the Sarge, the Drifter or Trinity.  They have a bad disease any way and won't live long."

(There Slim you are covered.)

[Trinity]

Now just wait a cotton-pickin' minute!

[Trinity]

Trinity wakes after another drunk with the Sarge.  Delmonico had gone to bed early saying something about eight o'clock, the Doc comin to visit us and drinking too much.  He wasn't very clear.

Trinity scratches himself and then searches for another bottle of Dickel, but can't find one.  He says to himself "Hmm.  I jest caint believe that we drunk it all!"  At that time, the doc emerges from Delmonico's tent and then Trinity remembers exactly what Delmonico was talking about last night.  He tries to run away but his legs still under the effect of the previous night's alcohol, he falls face down in a pile of horse apples.  The doctor helps him to his feet...

...

Standing, (well, actually dancing) waist deep in the cold creek, Trinity tries to grasp just what happened to him and why the ice cold water is not soothing the extreme burning sensation when he sees a cache of Dickel bottles on the bank of the creek.  Trinity thought to himself "Whew!  I don' know how them bottles got here but I shore do need some and NOW!"  Trinity reaches for a bottle, removes the cork and drinks heavily. ... Uh oh! ...

[Delmonico]

Delmonico is feeling better cause there is enough crew ta roundup and brand.  Feeling happy he drops off a grocery list at the store.  "Just deliver it out ta the roundup camp about 9 miles south of town.  Ya might want ta send yer delivery boy around the back way.  The portable brothel is about 5 miles out,  The experience would be good fer the boy but they social disease they carry with them would stunt his growth."

"Have them out there this evening, I need ta fix the crew something nice tamarraw, the 3 old hands have had kinda of a rough day."

[Delmonico]

One the way back ta camp Delmonico sees a farm off to the side of the road, going up to it he finds out the folks their raise chickens.  Always thinkin' of the crew, he aranges ta have 4 dozen eggs delivered each afternoon.

He also buys a couple of old hens and puts them in a gunny sack accross the saddle of the mule, with the promise of the eggs being delivered in a couple of hours Delmonico decides Chicken and Noodles would be good fer the crew since the old hands were sick and the new ones looked like they hadn't ate in a week.

Arriving back it camp Delmonico notice the 3 old hands were still standing in the creek, Little Joe the Wrangler (not Cartwright) was tending the horses and the new hands had unloaded the cook stove from the chuckwagon. 

Getting a large pot boiling tha scald and pick the chickens, Delmonico cut the heads off of both and let them go, course the headed toward the 3 fellows standing in the creek, The Drifter looked up just as 2 headless chickens headed their way.

[Sergeant Smokepole]

Sarge wakes up and looks around at all of the hung over pards. He shouts "Suck it up and deal with it you sheepherders!!!"  Delmonico looks at him and now knows why he was such an effective Sergeant Major in The War of Northern Aggression.

Sarge looks at the drovers and says "I'll skip breakfast. There's work to be done."  He then strides over to his horse, an Apaloosa named Swifty, and saddles him up, cinching his old McClellan saddle.

Climbing up, Sarge looks over toward the fire and says "Anythin' happen last night with some girlie man named Dagit?" He rode off towrd the herd with this evil grin that would put chills down the back of a dead man.

Sarge starts a chorus of Dixie...

[Delmonico]

Delmonico changes the words as the Sarge gets out of ear (and pistol) shot.

" Way down south in the land of cotton"
"they send us their whores that are rotton.)

Delmonico says, he didn't notice the sign on the brothel on wheels that says "Southern Belles for Rent."

[Silver Creek Slim]

Slim yells to the boys still in the creek, "Watch out for them man eating headless chickens!"

[Brazos Bucky Smith]

Brazos Bucky rises from the corner of the room where he spent the night in a heap.  Shakes his head to clear the cob webs of too much liquor, and say to Delmonico "Hey can I have some of that cake or bread to soak up the stuff still sloushing around in my gut?"

Turns to Slim and says "hey how did I get that burn on my leg?  Looks a little bit like that wavy part of your'n branding iron! And, quit yellin' about those chicken's with no heads!  Makes my head acke."

BB

[Silver Creek Slim]

"Well, we was trying to brand Sarge last night while he was snorin'. But, Delmonico didn't hold his feet tight enough and he kicked the iron into my leg," said Slim.

[Sergeant Smokepole]

Sarge mutters " Damned yankees. Don't appreciate nutthin'. No stones. Eat sissy food. You'd think they was still Frenchies or sumpin'. Shoulda kilt a few more at Shiloh, Antietam, Wilderness, Lookout Mountain. Buncha pantywaiste swabbie types if'n ya ask me..........."

[Brazos Bucky Smith]

Brazos  rubs his head, takes his finger to his teeth to clean the fur off, and scratches his rump with the other hand.  Notices Delmonico starting the chicken and noodles and says to him "Hey arn't we gettin a little genteil, can't we just have some beef, you know steaks or sumtin?"

Then Brazos looks towards the creek and sees the chickens runnin' and the naked cowboys standin in it with the water almost up to their (well never you mind) and he starts a laughin', he laughs so hard he falls down.  Next thing ya's know he is a yellin' and rollin' around, cause one of the chicken heads he happened to sit on bits him on the (never you mind) and he can't dislodge the beek.  Hurts like (well never you mind) and he forgets his headaches!

The boys in the creek well they start to laughin' but unbeknowct to them one of the chicken heads is a floatin' up behind them and ataches itself to Thinity's (well never you mind)..........

BB