Not so notable Holidays

[Ozark Tracker]

let's see need about 12 fer the living room, 2 fer the bathroom (in case ya have company)  I'll have ta do some more figuring

[Sod Buster]

HAPPY ROBBIE BURNS Day!
Address To A Haggis  
Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o' the puddin-race!
Aboon them a' ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy o' a grace
As lang's my arm.

The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your hurdies like a distant hill,
Your pin wad help to mend a mill
In time o' need,
While thro' your pores the dews distil
Like amber bead.

His knife see rustic Labour dight,
An' cut you up wi' ready sleight,
Trenching your gushing entrails bright,
Like ony ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Warm-reekin, rich!

Then, horn for horn,
they stretch an' strive:
Deil tak the hindmost! on they drive,
Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve,
Are bent lyke drums;
Then auld Guidman, maist like to rive,
"Bethankit!" 'hums.

Is there that owre his French ragout
Or olio that wad staw a sow,
Or fricassee wad mak her spew
Wi' perfect sconner,
Looks down wi' sneering, scornfu' view
On sic a dinner?

Poor devil! see him ower his trash,
As feckless as a wither'd rash,
His spindle shank, a guid whip-lash,
His nieve a nit;
Thro' bloody flood or field to dash,
O how unfit!

But mark the Rustic, haggis fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread.
Clap in his walie nieve a blade,
He'll mak it whissle;
An' legs an' arms, an' heads will sned,
Like taps o' thrissle.

Ye Pow'rs wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o' fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware
That jaups in luggies;
But, if ye wish her gratefu' prayer,
Gie her a haggis!

[litl rooster]

<gag> ** thanks    <gag>

[Silver Creek Slim]

Sod buster can ya translate that into Yankee English? 

Slim

[litl rooster]

Sod buster can ya translate that into Yankee English? 

Slim

Slim ya might reconsider that request........we might not really want to know

[Silver Creek Slim]

 

Slim

[Sod Buster]

Sod buster can ya translate that into Yankee English? 

Slim

Sure:

The Translation
Fair is your honest happy face
Great chieftain of the pudding race
Above them all you take your place
Stomach, tripe or guts
Well are you worthy of a grace
As long as my arm

The groaning platter there you fill
Your buttocks like a distant hill
Your skewer would help to repair a mill
In time of need
While through your pores the juices emerge
Like amber beads

His knife having seen hard labour wipes
And cuts you up with great skill
Digging into your gushing insides bright
Like any ditch
And then oh what a glorious sight
Warm steaming, rich

Then spoon for spoon
They stretch and strive
Devil take the last man, on they drive
Until all their well swollen bellies
Are bent like drums
Then, the old gent most likely to rift (burp)
Be thanked, mumbles

Is there that over his French Ragout
Or olio that would sicken a pig
Or fricassee would make her vomit
With perfect disgust
Looks down with a sneering scornful opinion
On such a dinner

Poor devil, see him over his trash
As week as a withered rush (reed)
His spindle-shank a good whiplash
His clenched fist.the size of a nut.
Through a bloody flood and battle field to dash
Oh how unfit

But take note of the strong haggis fed Scot
The trembling earth resounds his tread
Clasped in his large fist a blade
He'll make it whistle
And legs and arms and heads he will cut off
Like the tops of thistles

You powers who make mankind your care
And dish them out their meals
Old Scotland wants no watery food
That splashes in dishes
But if you wish her grateful prayer
Give her a haggis! 

[Sod Buster]

Here y'all.


Looks like a big ol' grub, don't it?

Have a slice!

[Silver Creek Slim]

Yer correct, Litl Rooster. 

Slim

[litl rooster]

<*gag>   yep    <*gag>

[Trinity]

Here y'all.


Looks like a big ol' grub, don't it?

Have a slice!

The top one looks like a large grub and the bottom one looks like meat that has been left out... for three weeks in the sun.  Full of maggots!

[Ozark Tracker]

I thought that thing would'a crawled off by now 

[Trinity]

I'm not hongry no more... that's for sure. 

[Ozark Tracker]

we may havta drag it over there to Nebrassky and put it in Slim's chair and put it out of it's misery

[Sod Buster]

we may havta drag it over there to Nebrassky and put it in Slim's chair and put it out of it's misery

Ya best be carerful....it might come to life....FrankenHaggis!!

[Ozark Tracker]

   ain't that the truth,  it's libal ta be hungry

[Trinity]

Ya best be carerful....it might come to life....FrankenHaggis!!

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!

[Sod Buster]

  ain't that the truth,  it's libal ta be hungry

FEED ME!!  FEED ME!!

[Silver Creek Slim]

Slim faints. 

[Trinity]

Trinity starts poking at it with his Arkansas Toothpick but is repulsed when it pops open and squirts juice on him.