Very Important Day In History

[Leo Tanner]

Dang guys.  Those are some crazy stories.
     All I gotta do here in Mayberry is clean my guns on the front porch or casualy mention my "sporting habbit" ta keep the wackos away.  Sure, we've had some nasty incidents around here and I do keep the pistol close (unloaded, but ammo in reach) at night.  I've always wondered if I walked around with my rig on if folks would just think I was in costume or something and not give it a second glance.  Not planning on trying it, just always wonderd...


Leo

[Ozark Tracker]

That's the way it is up here, hardly anybody comes or goes that we don't know the car.  if it is a strange car, they are probably bad lost.   


That guy that was telling me  that story was sky high on crack or something,  but I had never heard such a detailed tale.   I should'a wrote it all down fer a Sci-Fi  movie. 

[Leo Tanner]

Yeah, the drugs seem ta do that.
     We had a UPS driver that the whole county knew and loved.  His name was Drew, God rest him.  He got smacked head on by a guy in a highjacked plumbing supply delivery truck.  Drew got killed and the other idiot lived.  In the police interview, the crackhead told a very elaborate story about subteranian creatures that had been stalking him fer months.  He had names for em and every other detail you could imagine.  He said they was out to get him cause he knew some big secret. 
     After several months of evaluation it was determined that 2 years of injecting himself with meth had altered his perspective on reality.  He's in a mental home somewhere now.


Leo

[Arcey]

Had a cop what hid werkin' nights 'n overslept. When he woke up 'n drove in he was bein' waited on.

'Bout a screw up, was on the edge ah gettin' fired anyway. Told the CO he'd been abducted by aliens.....

[Texas Lawdog]

Arcey, You know there are some strange folks that come out of the woodwork at night.

[Ozark Tracker]

after we moved up here on the Mountain and got to knowing all the neighbors,  first thing I wanted to know, was anybody up here ever abducted by Aliens,  the way some of em acted, I thought fer sure somebody had.  no luck non of em been abducted or seen Big Foot.   

[Texas Lawdog]

I saw an interview on TV, where they were talkin' to a couple of ol' gals that said they had been abducted by aliens.  The news guy asked them if there was anything special about the aliens.  They said that they were just "Your Basic LIL Gray Alien".  I didn't know that was such a thing as a Basic LIL Gray Alien.

[Leo Tanner]

The news team shoulda probed a little deeper

[Delmonico]

I saw an interview on TV, where they were talkin' to a couple of ol' gals that said they had been abducted by aliens.  The news guy asked them if there was anything special about the aliens.  They said that they were just "Your Basic LIL Gray Alien".  I didn't know that was such a thing as a Basic LIL Gray Alien.

You must not of worked a lot of 3rd shift in the late 90's, you could have learned all that listenin' to Art Bell.   There's a big grey, the Reptilian types, hmmm, Arcey would have to help from here.

[Leo Tanner]

The movie Dreamcatcher lays it all out fer ya.  There's grey ones an nice ones an all kinda ones.  Keep yer powder dry an let God sort 'em out.

     "brought ta ya by the northern california civil defence.  Membership--1"

[Texas Lawdog]

I just didn't think that was a plain ol garden variety alien.  We had our big alien deal southwest of here doen in Stephenville, Texas.

[Leo Tanner]

Ahhh heckfire, Tex has an alien in his garden.  Time ta muster up and take it down.
This is a very important day in history.


Leo

[Trinity]

...
when I was a Bail bonds man I carried ever where I went. all the LE knew we carried and it was Ok with them at the time.  Never had to pull it but twice and only one of them was down right serious,  I had done cleared it in my mind that he was a dead man, but he jumped down on the ground and I'd a had to shoot him in the back,   after he got out of jail, he doused his wife with gasoline and set her on fire,  He got life, guess he's still there.

Aww, now, don't go tellin' no tales.  I've watched Dog and he an' his wife only carry Mace in their holsters.

[Ozark Tracker]

sssshhhhhh,  old dog is a felon, he can't be caught with no guns.

[Trinity]

Well there they go tellin' the whole country that Bounty Hunters are peaceable folks who's wives would like to sit down with the hunted, soothe their woes and let them cry on her shoulder.  It ain't really so?

[Texas Lawdog]

Dog, I'm happy to say is a former resident of the Texas Department of Criminal Justice.  He did s tretch in the joint for Murder.  Hell, Beth is big and tough enough to whip most folks. She just just has to watch out and not slap anyone face with her CHEST!

[Trinity]

 

She scares me more than Dog does.  I wouldn't want to cross her a'tall!

[Texas Lawdog]

She puts makeup on with a putty knife.  I bet Dog met her at one them places that Trinity goes to all the time, The Bus Station.

[Trinity]

Depot!  They changed the name from Station a few years back when the crowd was getting rough.  Now it's only a little rough.  Most gals have almost all of their teeth left.

[Texas Lawdog]

Home Depot is the only Depot I go to.