Butchered Sayings

[Forty Rod]

I's beadier than a fasting pullet.

This is the shortest point between two distances.

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

But wheeze all leave no tern unstoned.

[Forty Rod]

Give whirled peas a chance.

[Forty Rod]

This just warms the heartles of my...well, you know.

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

I understood that. 



AnnieLee

[Silver Creek Slim]

Bring in the next cow. 

Slim

[Delmonico]

...

[Silver Creek Slim]

...

U'z lernt Morse code, too? 

Slim

[Delmonico]

Just S.

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

Eyes before eaves, except in a dictionary.



AnnieLee

[Delmonico]

He who hesitates gets run over by the bus.

<Author's note, A short bus full of Bozos.>

[Forty Rod]

Historical note:

Edward Ezra Tate, a Union captain during the recent unpleasantness, realised late in 1864 that the war was nearing its end. 
Captain Tate was also astute enough to forsee the great westward expansion that was certain to come. 

The southerners would go west seeking new freedoms rather than return to a shattered and desolate south and harrsh Yankee reconstruction.

Yankees would go west looking for work and opportunity rather than return to closed factories and mills and a broken economy in the north.

Captain Tate realised one day thay all of the maps he had ever seen had north at the top.  Likewise all compasses pointed north.  What foolishness, thought he.  If everyone were to go west wouldn't it make more sense if west were at the top of the maps and compasses pointed west?

He contacted some appropriate people and by war's end had procured several thousand Tate's Improved Compasses and corresponding Tate's New Horizon Maps.

It was here that the Law Of Unintended Consequences kicked in.  It seems that the compasses and maps inevitably got seperated one from the other. Nneither was particularly well marked, and instructions were rudimentary at best.  Many who had Tate's wonderful compass and a conventional map, found them selves inexplicably in Mexico, while those with a standard compass and a Tate map were bound for Canada.

Confusion grew and multiplied until the Army Corps of Engineers came to the rescue with both maps and compasses in the old "north at the top" fromat.

This brief fiasco is what has led us to the well know phrase "He who has a Tate's is lost."

Have a good weekend and read Chapter eleven for Monday.

[El Peludo]

Life is just a chair of bowlies!

I'm thinker than some drunkle peep I am.

I know a feller who "has a Tate"s all the time; has all his life, for a matter of fact.

[Forty Rod]

A chair of bowlies?  I haven't heard that in thirty years.

Thanks. 

That just warms the heartles etc.

[Four-Eyed Buck]

Del, An old van full of Mexican's?........Buck

[Delmonico]

I don't cross I-80 on foot.

[Calamity Jane]

CJ's personal favorite: He's a few bricks short of a half dozen

[Forty Rod]

Sounds like the kind of person who would shoot a Mouse-handled broomer.

[Delmonico]

You buttered your bread, now lie in it.

[Silver Creek Slim]

You buttered your bread, now lie in it.

Slim