For us pet owners and those who ain't

[Delmonico]

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE PETS, THIS IS A TRUE STORY.
FOR THOSE THAT DON'T, IT'S ALSO A TRUE STORY.

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.

Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes on the floor with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate does not mean that is suddenly your food, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the top of the stairs is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It Is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space that you are taking up, is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:
TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:

(1) They live here....you don't.
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
That's why they call it "fur"-niture.
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
(1) eat less,
(2) don't ask for money all the time,
(3) are easier to train,
(4) normally come when called,
(5) never ask to drive the car,
(6) don't hang out with drug-using people;
(7) don't smoke or drink,
( don't want to wear your clothes,
(9) don't have to buy the latest fashions,
(10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and
(11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children.....

And yes I like it and pretty much agree, pictures are from a "Caption Pictures of Your Lab" thread on a Lab forum a while back, the kids are my Grandkids and the other kid is Rowdy.

[Professor Marvel]

Ah My Dear Delmonico -

I find, I have nothing to add.... :-)

your humble speechless
Prof Marvel

[Modoc]

I love it and agree totally,  the only difference is that We have a Brittany

Have you ever noticed that the Queensland/Aussie/Blue Heeler rides in the BACK of the Pick-up and the Good Hunting dog rides in the FRONT?   

[Qball]

Many years ago i was owned by a Newfoundland, and she was just like that.
Used to push me out of the bed at night, and sit on my lap in front of the tv.

O how i miss her   

[dangerranger]

I see someones been reading our refridgeratot again! good one DR

[Ten Wolves Fiveshooter]

  I really enjoyed this Del, thanks for posting.


      tEN wOLVES

[Gypsy Bob]

HAHAHA that was funny, gotta go now, Copper (my beagle) says its time to go chase bunnies.........

[Delmonico]

Thanks everyone.

[Cliff Fendley]

Good post, I love my Labs 

[Adirondack Jack]

OH yeah, and then some!

Our buddy is an American Eskimo Dog named "Sparky"


He eats after we eat, and nosiree bob he never tries to take our food, leastways not since one day when he was about 5 mos old, and I caught him trying to make off with a sandwich I was making.  He'd stretched up to reach the corner of the kitchen table while my back was turned.  I caught him just in the nick of time, slammed my hand down on the sandwich and yelled "MINE" (and a few choice dog-related words describing his mother).  When I next saw him he was trying to hide under the couch, which of course means head and neck stuck under the couch, oblivious to the fact that 85% of him wasn't hid.

He cries when I drive past a McDonalds and don't stop and get him some McNuggets, which is my fault because I do get him McNuggests whenever we do stop there, and he's not sure why he doesn't get to stop just because he's barked, drooled, etc at the sight (smell) of the place and his dumb owner sometimes ignores him....

We have a deal regarding the bed.  He is free to use it whenever I am not using it.  No problem, as he just takes up residence beside the bed on the floor (a hazard ya gotta beware of when getting up in the middle of the night).

He croons "Ruv roo" when he wants his belly rubbed, a habit he picked up early on because my son, then 10, would rub his belly and say "I love you, yer a good dog".

he lets us know when a fire siren or ambulance is anywhere within a mile, answering the call in a fair rendition of the siren, and will croak "am-ul" if you ask "Was that an ambulance?" before repeating the distinctive warbling siren sound.  The fire house siren is different, and he will do that one if asked "did you hear the fire house?"

He only sheds once a year, starting in August and ending in July.  Long snow white hair.  "Grandma" found out a chocolate-colored polyester pantsuit will clean my truck seat nicely, but is a fashion faux pas for a funeral home when "iced" with white dog hair.  Ya wanna bum a ride and not look like a sheep?  Bring a lint brush.

[GunClick Rick]

Brutis and Rusty


Duagters dogs Ausy in my lap and Tara..




Boogers and Squirt dog (lost "ole" Squirty )






Floyd

[mestiza letty]

Delmonico,
A scream of a post
All of us pet owners "adapt" to the personalities of our 4 legged kids. Have not seen this 'fridge senario before and will make a copy to hang for my sisters.
I have a white manx female cat who hates everybody, sheds her hair, hisses & will only come to my mom or I, IF we can herd her 
She get a bullet threat every day from other family members 
Thanks so much for makin my day
Mestiza Letty

[Green River Powell aka RonC]

That was really great, Delmonico.

Here are our 3 as of a few months ago. We lost the big boy on the right, Gatsby, to kidney disease. The other two are hail and hearty.


Of course, they are not always doing as they should - but doing as they must:


Sorry for not being around the last 2 weeks. 60 hours each week at work and another 25 or so each week at an outside consulting project kept me away. For the consulting, my wife gets a redo for the kitchen and I get to set up a reloading bench!

Ron

[GunClick Rick]

Nice animals Ron,bet it broke your heart,i sure miss "ole" Squirt dog,but my buddy Rusty been helpin me along,he keeps me busy playin Fribby~~

[River City John]

Pablo.
Our Zombie dog. Fierce as a dust bunny, and about the same size.

RCJ

[Delmonico]

Found some pictures of a lost friend, Midnite (Oct 17 1900-June 24th 2002)

Took me a while to figger out why that tree used so much water:





His first ones, he was mighty proud:



He has a covey:



Him after one on the ground as I'm about to dust a second:

[Green River Powell aka RonC]

Nice animals Ron,bet it broke your heart,i sure miss "ole" Squirt dog,but my buddy Rusty been helpin me along,he keeps me busy playin Fribby~~

Yep! I must admit that a little tear popped into my eye when I posted that photo. He was a rescue Greyhound who was on the track for about 2 years before we got him - the most gentle dog I ever had. It was sad to see his muscles atrophy with the kidney failure. Anorexia is a symptom of the last stages of the disease and we tried everything, cooking for him every evening trying to find something he would eat. It bought him an extra few months of quality life.
The three boys at nap time:


See if you can pick out the world's ugliest puppy:


Or maybe a nice pussycat:
WHere does she sleep? Anywhere she wants.

Ron

[Deja vous]

Oh gosh.. Greyhounds they are so elegant.. And a ocelot?  Is that right?  pretty kitty.. The pig.. now that is funny.. lol.. 

[GunClick Rick]

UH OH !!

I got a pig at home in a pen
and corn ta feed "eem" on
all i need now,is a purty little gal
to feed "eem" when i'm gone 

[GunClick Rick]

I want one of them pointy eared cats