bad, but funny joke

[Capt. Hamp Cox]

A 7 year old boy and his 4 year old brother were upstairs in
their bedroom.  The 7 year old was explaining that it was high time
that the two of them  begin swearing.  When his little brother responded
enthusiastically,  the 7 year old hatched the plan, "When we go
downstairs for breakfast this morning, I'll say 'Hell' and you say 'fat
ass.'  The 4 year old happily  agreed.  As the two boys were seating
themselves at the breakfast table, their mother walked in and asked her
older son what he would like to eat for breakfast.
The 7 year old replied, "Ah hell, Mom, I'll just have some Cheerios."
"WHACK!"  The surprised mother reacted quickly.  The boy ran upstairs,
bawling and rubbing his behind.  With a sterner voice,
the mother then turned  to the younger son, "And what would YOU like
for breakfast?"
"I don't know," the 4 year old blubbered, "but you can bet
your fat ass it's not gonna be Cheerios ! ! ! "

[Capt. Hamp Cox]

Top 25 Things You'll Never Hear A Southerner Say (Guess I can do this, since I are one )


25. "I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex."
24. "Duct tape won't fix that."
23. "Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken."
22. "We don't keep firearms in this house."
21. "You can't feed that to the dog."
20. "No kids in the back of the pickup, it's not safe."
19. "Wrasslin's fake."
18. "I'll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy."
17. "Who's Richard Petty?"
16. "Give me the small bag of pork rinds."
15. "Deer heads detract from the decor."
14. "Spittin' is such a nasty habit."
13. "Trim the fat off that steak."
12. "The tires on that truck are too big."
11. "I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad."
10. "I've got it all on a floppy disk.
  9. "Would you like your fish poached or broiled?"
  8. "My fiancee is registered at Tiffanys."
  7. "Checkmate."
  6. "She's too old to be wearing that bikini."
  5. "Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?"
  4. "I don't have a favorite college team.
  3. "Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darlin.
  2. "Elvis who?
And the number one thing you will NEVER hear a Southerner say:
  1. "I couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today."