From Borders to Bears (Posts split off the Border Library thread)

[kid sheleen]

Must have been the nitro-glycerin in the bang stick.  It do save on the feed and I got fifty bucks for him from the fertilizer factory down the road and they hauled him off.

[HorsePen Henry]

Must have been the nitro-glycerin in the bang stick.  It do save on the feed and I got fifty bucks for him from the fertilizer factory down the road and they hauled him off.

Kid?  I 'spect it's a good thing we don't live and work for the same brand. I doubt we could stay out a trouble.... that is,.....IF we tried.

Watchyerhair,

X Horse Pen

[kid sheleen]

Kid?  I 'spect it's a good thing we don't live and work for the same brand. I doubt we could stay out a trouble.... that is,.....IF we tried.

Watchyerhair,

X Horse Pen

X-Pen, I reckon your'e right.  Prob'ly best to keep us in differnt parts of the country.  But I'd sure like to meet ya and swap lies.  I got a great story 'bout the time I catched a bear up in the Smokies with a piece of calf liver and put him in the trunk of my Daddy's car. 

[Dalton Masterson]

 
Oh do tell.??
DM

[Ten Wolves Fiveshooter]

                             Thats just CRAZY enough to be true 


                                                                 tEN wOLVES 

[kid sheleen]

                             Thats just CRAZY enough to be true 


                                                                 tEN wOLVES 

You're right XW!  But it sounds so much like a lie and nobody ever believes me when I tell it.

Oh do tell.??
DM

OK, DW, here it is.  It looses a lot in writing it down 'cause you can't see me talking with my arms, and the mountain twang doesn't come out too good!  But I tried my best!
Back in the late 60's and early 70's the bears was thick as thieves in the Great Smokies Nat'l Park.  People would stop and gawk at them and even though there were signs up not to feed 'em, they did it anyway.  Sometimes in the summer it'd take 4 or 5 hours to drive 25 miles.
   There was a fella over in Cherokee, NC on the reservation that had a tame bear and you'd pay your 2 dollars or whatever and you could wrassle 'im.  If you stayed in the cage for more than a coupla minutes you'd win a kewpie doll or somethin'.  This was back before PETA, Greenpeace, and all the other animal rights activists ruined the fun for everybody.
    Me and my good friend Dee Rogers decided we'd go up in the Park and catch a small bear and tame him so we could wrassle with 'im anytime we wanted for free, and we could charge other people for the fun.  You know how it is when you're 17, you're 10 feet tall and bulletproof.  And besides, there wasn't much goin' on in Canton, NC back then.(Still ain't).
    So Dee says "Let's us go over to the butcher shop and get us some fresh calf liver and put it in the trunk of the car and we'll catch us a cub bear 'bout 50 or 60 pounds and then raise him up and have us some fun.".  We were driving my Daddys' '52 Mercury.  Biggest car I've ever been in.  Had a HUGE trunk.
    So we get up in the park, and it bein' a weekday in the spring just before school let out for the summer there was'nt nobody around much so we stopped by the side of the road where there was some garbage cans and a few bears around and put that bloody liver in the trunk and then I stood behind the trunk lid while Dee watched for a small bear to take the bait.  I could'nt see over on the other side so I was waitin' for Dee to tell me to slam the lid when the bear got in.
   Directly, a small cub bear 'bout the size we was lookin' for started toward the car with his nose in the air just a smellin' of that liver, and so I got ready to close the trunk when Dee told me to.  'Long about the time the bear got to the car, another MUCH BIGGER bear comes up and swipes the cub out of the way and climbs in the trunk.  Dee was hollerin' for me NOT to close the lid, but in the excitement I closed it anyway and got in behind the wheel and drove off.
     Dee kept tellin' me that we had a BIG bear in the trunk but I didn't believe him on account of the bear was bein' so quiet that I just thought he was over-excited.  He must have been enjoyin' that liver, 'cause he never gave a growl the whole time we were drivin' back to Canton.
      We got to the stoplight in the center of town and had to stop for the red light.  We were talkin' and laughin' and wonderin' how we were gonna get the bear out of the trunk.  Just then the light turned green but I didn't see it so after a minute the fella behind me laid on his horn.  Fellas, I got to tell ya', all H*** broke loose right there in the middle of Canton.  That bear commenced to growlin' and poppin' his jaws and makin' the awfullest racket you ever did hear and Me and Dee were scared to death.  "I told you he was a biggun!" says Dee, and I couldn't argue this time.  That big old Merc was shakin' like she was in a hurrycane!  We drove off toward home with the bear makin just the meanest noises and finally that bear somehow got his claws through the back seat and now we were in a pickle!  Pap was a part-time deputy sheriff (and a full-time preacher), and he kept a .38 Police Positive Colt in the glove box.  "Get the gun outen the glove box Dee, and shoot the D*#@ thing!" says I.  Dee grabbed it and unloaded on the bear through the back seat.
Boys, you should have heard the commotion then!  But directly the bear gives out a long groan and gives up the ghost.
     But the funniest thing was when we pulled up in front of the house.  Pap was on the front porch in the rocker and Dee gets out and says, "Mr. Monts, you just ain't gonna believe what happened!  A bear crawled in the trunk of your car and we had to SHOOT IT!"
     After we hauled the bear out of the car,  Pap helped us skin it and put up the meat, sent Dee home, and kicked my tail all over that back forty section.  And he had BIG feet!

[Dalton Masterson]

LOL!!! Thank you for that story!  You wrote it a lot like Pat McManus writes/wrote his outdoor life(whichever magazine it was) stories! Good read. thank you.
DM

[HorsePen Henry]

That's a pretty good yarn, Kid. I took the bait!!!

X Horse Pen

Let's go get another'n.

[kid sheleen]

   I'm ready when you are Horsepen!  You bring the car!  I know of one not too far from home here that'll go 400 lbs! I asked my wife if I could borrow the mini-van to put a bear in, and got a flat "NO"   Only I've grown up some since then.  I always take my Marlin 45-70 and I only put 'em in the trunk AFTER they're dead.

Dalton, thanks for the compliment.  I love Pat!  But I wasn't really thinkin' 'bout how to write it as much as I was tryin' to thin it out so it wouldn't be too long here.  The truth is, there was a whole lot more screamin', squealin', squallin', growlin', groanin', moanin', clawin', cryin', and cussin' going on than I could say here.  And some of it was comin' from the bear!

[HorsePen Henry]

Ya reckon a 50-140 would do it?
There'd be a whole lot less screamin',squallin', growlin',groanin',moanin'.clawin',cryin',and cussin' a goin; on!!! On the muzzle end anyways.

Maybe!!!

X Horse Pen

[Ten Wolves Fiveshooter]

            Now that's a story if I ever heard one .....



                                                  TW 

[HorsePen Henry]

Oops!!! Thankee Marshall for yer tolerance.     

X Horse Pen

[Gun Butcher]

  Heck  the Marshall likes a good yarn even if he has to stay inside the lines
                                                          GB

[kid sheleen]

  Sorry Marshal!  It kinda went the wrong way.  Sometimes I get a little windy.  Can't resist a good story.  Tellin' or listenin'.

I apologize and I won't inflict myself on you any further.

[Marshal Will Wingam]

  Heck  the Marshall likes a good yarn even if he has to stay inside the lines
                                                          GB

Absolutely. I enjoyed that one. It reminds me of a story I read in the newspaper one time about a car that stopped at the bus station and a guy jumped out and grabbed a suitcase standing on the sidewalk near the door of the building. The car took off. Halfway down the block, the back doors flew open and two men jumped out. A little further down the block, the front doors flew open and two more men jumped out, the car still moving. The car ran off the side of the road and hit a tree. A bobcat jumped out and walked away unharmed. I guess someone was getting even for a stolen suitcase or something.

[Ten Wolves Fiveshooter]

                            WOW, now thats another good story if I ever heard one 



                                                                     TW 

[Ace Lungger]

  Kid,
I done a lot of crazy things when I was young! Never put a bear in the truck of a car, but done my share of crazy things!
Thanks for sharing that part of your child hood, for I needed a smile in the worste way at this time!!
Maybe i will go to sleep and wake up tomorrow in a lot better mood than I have been in!

Thanks again for sharing
ACE

[kid sheleen]

Well Ace, they say God takes care of children and fools!  And I've been both sure enough!

Ya reckon a 50-140 would do it?
There'd be a whole lot less screamin',squallin', growlin',groanin',moanin'.clawin',cryin',and cussin' a goin; on!!! On the muzzle end anyways.

Maybe!!!

X Horse Pen

Horsepen,  I don't know about you, but I'd like to have some meat left over after he's dead.  A 50-140's for Grizz and Buffler, ain't it?

[HorsePen Henry]

Yeppir!!!

The front end is anyways. The butt end is fer............?? Keeping Dr. Bob busy at buffalo shoots!!

I reckon.

X Horse Pen

[Dr. Bob]

Horse Pen,

I don't have any treatment for a masochist!   Most folks that I know have better sense.  Present company excluded!   I'll be packing to head to the east coast to play 1812 Engineer officer.  Just DON'T let Tio Miguel do any doctoring on ya!   It is OK to eat his food!