The All Time Hands Down Worst Movie Ever

[Leo Tanner]

I know there's already a "least favorite western" thread, but this thing don't even rate that.

     It's called Sometimes Cowgirls Get the Blues.  It stars Uma Therman and is biggest waste of celluloid that could ever have occured.  I am now dumber for having seen it.  

     It's about a ranch full of Hippie Lesbian Cowgirls who decide to save the migratory whooping cranes from the hands of men by givin the birds peyote and guarding them at their happy little ranch.  There are other things going on, but they make even less sense than this basic synopsis.

     If anyone out there was able to tolerate at least a few minutes of this train wreck, I'd love to hear your comments. 

     
Leo

[Frenchie]

I read the book many years ago. I've done lots of other dumb things too. 

I'm not surprised Hollyweird made a movie from it, but dang, you sat through the whole thing? Did your eyes start bleeding? Please be more careful, your sight and sanity are too precious to risk like that, but apparently you've learned that lesson.
On the other hand, your warning may save someone less robust from harm, so bully for you. Hope it doesn't make you lose any sleep. 

[Leo Tanner]

Well French, I'd be lyin if I said I sat through the whole thing.
     Woke up from an afternoon nap an there it was.  Spent ten minutes wonderin what I missed, another 10 bein glad I missed it and an infinate amount of time waiting for sumpthin that made sense to happen.  Not to be off color, but there are many ways a man could go blind watchin frisky cowgirls, but bleedin eyes aint one of the preferred methods (an bleed they did). 

     Bein that ya know the story, I guess it would be appropriate to say we both give it a "thumbs" down. 


Leo



     

[Frenchie]

Minor correction, it's "Even Cowgirls Get The Blues". There is nothing in it to interest us as western reenactors, shootists or normal adults. I haven't seen the movie, only read the book as I said, but I know Leo is dead right about the worth of watching it (zero) because no one could make this POS of a story into a movie worth watching.

Tom Robbins wrote the book in 1976. In the movie "Bull Durham", part of 'Crash' Davis' soliloquy goes, "I believe... that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap." That assessment goes triple for Tom Robbins' little pile of excrement. The hippie counterculture made it a cult thing, and that alone ought to tell you to not waste your time.

And now I've wasted too much time talking about it. Oh, yeah, LT, two thumbs down! 

[The Elderly Kid]

I'm made of sterner stuff than y'all. I sat through the whole thing, marveling at the many forms of human folly. I was hypnotized, though, by Uma Thurmann's giant thumb. I couldn't see it without thinking of a certain line of dialogue spoken by Edmond O'Brien (Old Sykes) in "The Wild Bunch." It was the line that ended with "---and a big grin to pass the time of day with."

[Stillwater]

The worst movie I ever saw, was called the "Toxic Avenger."

A guy running around in a TUTU, carrying out avenging actions against polluters...

I kid you not, he wore a TUTU...

Bill

[August]

Worse than Water World ?  Costner redeemed himself with Open Range, but I was sure he was finished, for good, after Water World.

[Frenchie]

August, Water World is an example of a story concept with tremendous potential that gets diluted, simplified and cheapened because the (I'll be very charitable here and say) fools who write and produce it don't want to strain what they think are the low intellects and weak imaginations of the audience.

[Leo Tanner]

Well all I know is that if ya pitted Water World against the Cowgirl movie, Waterworld would seem like the best movie ever made.  And I hadted Waterworld.

[Mossyrock]

Gents,

While the movies mentioned here ARE bad, they don't fit the bill of "worst ever made".  No, that honor falls to "Lust in the Dust", featuring a washed up Tab Hunter (1950's matinée idol) swapping spit with (I kid you not) a 350 pound transvestite named Divine.  Friends, it just doesn't GET any worse than that.  After seeing that steaming pile of horse excrement, I considered self mutilation to get the pictures out of my head.....  GOOD GAWD, MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!!!   

[Russ T Chambers]

Gents,

While the movies mentioned here ARE bad, they don't fit the bill of "worst ever made".  No, that honor falls to "Lust in the Dust", featuring a washed up Tab Hunter (1950's matinée idol) swapping spit with (I kid you not) a 350 pound transvestite named Divine.  Friends, it just doesn't GET any worse than that.  After seeing that steaming pile of horse excrement, I considered self mutilation to get the pictures out of my head.....  GOOD GAWD, MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!!!   

Was up at Virginia City a couple years a years ago (dressed Period Correct, including spurs).  My jingle bobs were making appropriate sounds on the old wooden sidewalks, when a lady makes the comment "Nice pair of jingle bobs  ya got there".  She told me it was a quote from Lust in the Dust, and she thought is was a great movie. 
I ordered it from Amazon.com dirt cheap.  After watching it, it made it's way back up to VC and the lady that said she liked it, NO CHARGE, before it could pollute any of my  other movies.  Remember the "Twin Butte/Butts)?

[Leo Tanner]

But that movie was saposed ta be campy.  John Waters is a freak of a director.  He always uses that Divine thing. 
The Cowgirl movie still wins cause it were sposed ta be serious. 

[Forty Rod]

Westerns has to be Cowboy Ride.  Starred the guy who used to drive KITT on TV then was on Baywatch.

Of all kinds of movies, the original 1928 silent movie 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea is all around worst.

[Leo Tanner]

Westerns has to be Cowboy ride.  Of all kinds of movies, the original 1928 silent movie 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea is all around worst.

I'm sure Jules Verne was perty pissed about that one.  Ma uncle called it "20,000 Leaks Under The Sink".

But I still contend that got this one, 20,000 didn't have lesbian cowgirls givin peyote ta birds.  Good try though.

[GunClick Rick]

Anything Sam Elliot does.Everytime i see him i wanna grab the other side of his mouth and even it out then put his head back on strieght a good mustach and beard an actor does not one make..

[GunClick Rick]

I take it back the one that Arnie did in that stupid blue get up.. :oSick for 3 days after watchin that and still not quite over it for some reason~~~

[Will Ketchum]

Anything Sam Elliot does.Everytime i see him i wanna grab the other side of his mouth and even it out then put his head back on strieght a good mustach and beard an actor does not one make..

Gee don't let the women folk know!  Most think Sam can do no wrong   I kind of like him myself.  I really like him in Louis L'Amour's "Conager".  I just bought the DVD to replace my wornout VHS tape

Will Ketchum

[Delmonico]

Westerns has to be Cowboy ride.  Of all kinds of movies, the original 1928 silent movie 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea is all around worst.

What have you got against filming through a fish bowl.

[Leo Tanner]

Gee don't let the women folk know!  Most think Sam can do no wrong  

Will Ketchum

Ya got that right.  Ma wife swoons over him.  Bout makes me spit rocks everytime one of his movies is on.  The obsession seems ta be fading as she grows older an wiser.

[Delmonico]

Myself I would much rather watch every Sam Elliot movie ever made that even watch a trailer for a Kevin Costner movie.

BTW "You Know My Name" is his best movie.