Sure is quiet around here.

Grapeshot · July 01, 2005, 04:16:01 PM

Brushing the dirt and dust off his uniform, Grapeshot walks back to his battery of 12 pounders. A series of sharp commands the Napoleons are loaded, aimed and primed.

"Oh, Annie! I got something for you." Grapeshot yells to AnnieLee.

Drawing his sabre, Grapeshot rises it above his head and commands the Battery of four 12 Pounder cannons to "FIRE!"

The roar of four cannonn is defening. The impact of the four shells echo the blast, sending shell fragments, fire and smoke amongst AnnieLee's entourage.

Silver Creek Slim · July 01, 2005, 04:47:51 PM

HEY!

Grapeshot · July 01, 2005, 05:12:30 PM

"RELOAD! DOUBLE CANISTER!"

"Lt Graham, Form your infantry into a square and fix bayonets!"

After issuing those commands, Grapeshot turns toward his adversaries, Sabre in his right hand, .45 Schofield in his left. His eyes narrow and smouldering he asks, "ANYONE ELSE?["/size]

Delmonico · July 01, 2005, 07:08:31 PM

When you children get down playin' I gots fried steak, gravy and sourdough biscuits fer supper.

Oh, and dried apple and raisin pie fer desert.

Grapeshot · July 01, 2005, 07:17:12 PM

STAND DOWN! Bugler! Sound Mess CAll!

Joyce (AnnieLee) · July 01, 2005, 07:23:35 PM

Del, I think it's time to pull the ducttapeairplane out from under the tarp and load up the licorice and gumdrops.

After dinner, of course.

AnnieLee, who never said she was aiming at Grapeshot...

Delmonico · July 01, 2005, 07:42:03 PM

Yea, we ain't had the cyberjet out since my street/landing strip iced over back in January. I'll see if I can get the tarp off it and get it serviced in case it's slow tommorow.

Joyce (AnnieLee) · July 01, 2005, 08:12:28 PM

Well, I just figured out how to proberly torque down a spark plug for a lawnmower, if that's any help!

AnnieLee

Four-Eyed Buck · July 01, 2005, 08:24:41 PM

Well, does it run? Just finished changing the oil on the old green mule, went just like clock work. Went to close the hood, huh?, it won't latch/lock down! Fooled around for a few minutes, got the electric torch, dang! A busted spring hangin' there, probably the one that latches the hood in the closed position. The mule was supposed to take us to the match at Tusco tomorrow, don't think I want to chance that hood popping up at 65mph! Call into shooting partner, still waiting for him to call so's we can discuss plan B...........Buck

Joyce (AnnieLee) · July 01, 2005, 08:52:32 PM

Yep, I got it to run. I got two long swipes at the weeds cut and then it was dark. Gonna be a busy weekend if it cools off like the weatherman is predicting.

AnnieLee

Trinity · July 01, 2005, 09:06:13 PM

Trinity steps up and sees this feller Grapeshot threatening his pard Annielee.

"Say...uh, Grapeshot, ol' buddy. Lemme buy you a drank." Trinity hands him a jug "You drank out of that there jug an' Ah'll drank outta this'un."

Grapeshot · July 02, 2005, 07:45:39 AM

Stepping to Trinity's side, Grapeshot says quietly. "Sonny, I don't drink. I'm on duty 24-7. However, you drink both of those for us." At that time, two troopers come up behind Trinity and prod him with the bayonets attached to their Springfields.

Grapeshot smiles and says, "You can start with the one you were going to give me."

Delmonico · July 02, 2005, 10:20:58 AM

Suddenly Grapshot and his troopers are seized with severe abdominal cramping and all head to the woods.

Trinity escapes quickly, because even he knows what has happened.

Grapeshot · July 02, 2005, 05:19:03 PM

The stench from the woods was overpowering. The cowardly and dispicable use of chemicals to incapacitate the troops was not to go unpunished. After several attempts to regain their positions at their guns the Artillermen finally secured their guns and loaded bags of defecation down the tubes and aimed them at Delmonico's laughing carcus.

At the command "FIRE", shot, shell and fecal mater enveloped Delmonicoes position and reduced his mess tent and field kitchen into a smoking ruin of contaminated debris.

REVENGE WILL BE FORTHCOMING!!!

Delmonico · July 02, 2005, 05:52:02 PM

Every cowboy from a hundred miles around come and hang the troopers. If ya ride for the brand ya know ya don't mess with the cosie. It's the cowboy way.

Joyce (AnnieLee) · July 02, 2005, 08:34:01 PM

Hey, Del, you ever try fried Welsh cookies?

AnnieLee

litl rooster · July 03, 2005, 04:32:33 AM

Quote from: Grapeshot on July 02, 2005, 07:45:39 AM
Stepping to Trinity's side, Grapeshot says quietly. "Sonny, I don't drink. I'm on duty 24-7. However, you drink both of those for us." At that time, two troopers come up behind Trinity and prod him with the bayonets attached to their Springfields.

Grapeshot smiles and says, "You can start with the one you were going to give me."

Over hearing Trinty's dilema, litl rooster bails off his horse and pulls his Springfield from the scabbard. Taking carefull aim, he fires and shatters the glass that Grapeshot and his men are forcing on my Pard, Trinty. The men with fixed bayonets drop their weapons and run. Typical for green horns in the Tall Tale threads. Trinty smiles knowing this is his chance and runs to his horse waiting outside. I reload another round and adjust my sights taking carefull aim on the grips of Grapeshots, Scofield....Thinking if he goes for the pistol I'll fire, I don't want to kill him off just yet. He's loud and obnoxious with all that Military talk... But nothing a doze of Del's castor oil would fix..

Del any of them biscuits left?

Bushwack Bill · July 03, 2005, 08:17:23 AM

As litl rooster's attention is focused on Grapeshot, Bushwack Bill sneaks up and empties his 12 gage side by side, loaded with rock salt, into litl rooster's backside. Litl Rooster drops his Springfield and grabs his butt with both hands and screams like a banshee as the rocksalt smacks into his posterior.

Reloading, Bushwack Bill sends a rocksalt swarm into the retreating Trinity. Another quick reload and Bushwack spins around to make sure that there is no one sneaking up on his six. Satisfied that there are no more backshooting, cowardly scum still standing he yells to Grapeshot, "You owe me one, cuz."

Grapeshot · July 03, 2005, 08:33:38 AM

Quote from: Delmonico on July 02, 2005, 05:52:02 PM
Every cowboy from a hundred miles around come and hang the troopers. If ya ride for the brand ya know ya don't mess with the cosie. It's the cowboy way.

Seeing the force of cowboys that have come to rally around Delmonico, Grapeshot's cannoneers reload and pour a double charge of cannister into the attacking cowboys. Grapeshot's Infantry level their Springfields and fire in volly after volly. Lt Parker rides up and unlimbers his section of Gattlin Guns and pour an unrelenting hail of lead into the disorganized mob of miscreants. As the cowboy real from the onslaught of Artillery, musketry and Gatlin Gun fire, 'A' Troop, 2nd Cavalry, charges into their midst and sends them packing.

Smoke hangs in the air like a sulfurous cloud. The bodies of the cowboys lie in the agonized posture of death.

Grapeshot and Bushwack Bill survey the carnage and Grapeshot is heard to say, "God! I just love it when a plan comes together!"

Grapeshot · July 03, 2005, 09:27:39 AM

As Bushwack Bill and Grapeshot scour the area for survivors, they come upon the unconscience form of Litl Rooster. Grapeshot looks down at Litl Rooster and asks his cousin, "What's that growing out of his behind?"

Bushwack chuckles and says, "Rock Salt Crystals. It'll take him about six hours in a hot tub of water to desolve them by the time he wakes up. Corpsman! He's another that'll need medical help."

Bushwack and Grapeshot walk off as the Hospital Corpsman administers aid to Litl Rooster. Trudging through the area where Delmonico had his mess tent and field kitchen, the two men wrinkle their noses at the smell of fecal matter strewn over the area.

Bushwack turns toward his cousin and asks, "Did you guys have to fire that crap over her as well?"

Grapeshot looks back with a gleam of satisfaction in his eye and says, "If the lowdown dirty skunk had offered us that meal to stop a fight instead of trying to poisen us, we never would have fired anything and would have gladly sat down and talked things over. But, no, they had to act like sneaky Frenchmen and deficate upstream."

"Oh look, there's Delmonico now." Bushwack says sarcasticly as Delmonico struggles to an upright position and staggers in their general direction.

Signaling a squad of Infantry, they gather up Delmonico, remove any and ALL sharp utensils from his person and hog tie him. Then, putting him on a stretcher, they march him off to the Aid Station.

Further on they come across the figure of AnnieLee. Bushwack relieves her of his German, Muzzleloading Grenade Launcher, the grenades, and has her escorted to the Aid Station for medical help.

Finally they find Trinity. Rock salt crystals are growing from all over his back side, From his shoulders to his ankles. The poor boy can hardly stand. Calling over another stretcher detail they have him rushed to the aid station to get help before all that salt mumifies poor ol' Trinity.

As the sun sets, one can hear the moans of the troops and survivers alike. Delmonico's poisen/laxative is still active, and there are latrines dug all over the encampment. The Cheif Surgeon has ordered that the Regiment remain encamped one more day as the troops clean and disenfect Delmonico's field kitchen and repair and clean his mess tent and utensils with gallons of puric acid.

As Grapeshot returns from another trip to the latrine, Bushwack says laughing, "Well, these woods won't be in need of fertilizer for a long time to come."