Wisconsin Winter. . . We have to be tough.

[Dick Dastardly]

WISCONSIN, tough country


60 above zero:
     Floridians turn on the heat.
     People in Wisconsin plant gardens.

50 above zero:
    Californians shiver uncontrollably.
    People in Wisconsin sunbathe.

40 above zero:
    Italian & English cars won't start.
    People in Wisconsin drive with the windows down.

20 above zero:
    Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and wool hats.
    People in Wisconsin throw on a flannel shirt.

15 above zero:
    New York landlords finally turn up the heat.   
    People in Wisconsin have the last cookout before it gets cold.


0 Zero:
    People in Miami all die.
    People in Wisconsin close the windows.

10 below zero:
    Californians fly away to Mexico
    People in Wisconsin get out their winter coats.

25 below zero:
    Hollywood disintegrates.
    The Girl Scouts in Wisconsin are selling cookies door to door.

40 below zero:
    Washington DC runs out of hot air.
    People in Wisconsin let the dogs sleep indoors.

100 below zero:
    Hell freezes over.
    Wisconsin public schools will open 2 hours late.

DD-DLoS

[litl rooster]

  DD your wrong about the 40 below..............it would have to get much colder

[Dusty Morningwood]

 

[Marshal harpoluke]

 

[Dick Dastardly]

We are having a bit of snow today.  This deck was clear yesterday.  The yard beyond had some grass showing thru.  Now, I'm lookin' at 20" of new snow and it's still coming.

So, what does one do to win that Nobel prize?  Predict global warming or sum such.

DD-DLoS

[Athena Jake]

Found out another Wisconsin thing, don't die this time of year, they store you until July when the roads to the cemeteries clear and they can dig a hole in the ground.  My wife is about an hour north of Green Bay in Beaver, for her Uncle who just passed away, I thought I was joking about waiting for spring thaw...  nope!

Reminds me of back home in Oregon, my grandfather always joked about passing away during pea harvest, have to put him in the cooler till it was over when people would have the free time.

[Dick Dastardly]

My brother in law digs graves.  He has a yellow tractor with a backhoe.  Claims he can dig permafrost.  Anyway, when I go, I'm requesting an ice auger.  They can crossthread my rusty crooked self into the earth.  I'll still have a smile on my face.

If ya drink one in my honor, pass it thru yer kidneys and warm my stone.

DD-DLoS

[Fox Creek Kid]

Makes you wonder how much wood they needed in the old days to keep warm before fiberglass insulation. 

[Sod Buster]

If ya drink one in my honor, pass it thru yer kidneys and warm my stone.

[Wwalstrom]

You forgot a couple:

25 below zero:
    Packer fans still shirtless at Lambeau Field
   
100 below zero:
    Minnesota Vikings win the Super Bowl (Hell froze over)
   

[Tommy tornado]

Thanks for reminding me of why I moved to the Gulf Coast! Enjoy the white stuff!!!!

[Wills Point Pete]

Hmmph. Today I went outside with a pair of snips and cut up 50+ pounds of plumber's sheet lead to melt down into ingots to make those inferior Big Lube Boolits that shoot so well. I had to wear long pants to keep the bugs off but I was out there in an undershirt.
Of course come July it will still be 93 degrees at midnight and nobody can sleep for the mosquitos arguing over eating you there or carrying you off to eat later.

[Russ T Chambers]

As I recall when backpacking in Northern Wisconsin, the discussion between the mosquitoes as to eat in or do carryout usually went to eat in.  The consensus usually was that if they took you outside, the BIG ones would take you away from them.