When you know things are allright AKA Family Values

Leo Tanner · February 03, 2008, 03:01:30 PM

1 o'clock on a Sunday. My 12 year old girl is knittin a scarf, my 15 year old is doin book work and Lil is cookin up a storm--not cause I insist but cause she loves to. There is a feeling of peace over the house and it gives a tired soul plenny of hope that not every bit of the world has gone to pot.
Just thought I'd share.

Leo

Charlie Bowdre · February 03, 2008, 03:27:57 PM

Sit back and enjoy the moment. Many more to come.
dutchie

Leo Tanner · February 04, 2008, 03:04:07 AM

It was a good day. All's right..
Mebbe this can be the "family values" thread

Silver Creek Slim · February 04, 2008, 11:59:50 AM

'Tis a great feeling.

Slim

Black Powder · February 04, 2008, 12:15:53 PM

Amen to that. Pretty remarkable.

BP

Leo Tanner · February 04, 2008, 12:26:32 PM

You bet. Here's sompthin you may or may not read before but I like to think on it and share it with the kids...

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.

Sounds like the cowboy way to me...

Leo

Leo Tanner · February 10, 2008, 04:22:29 PM

Lil took her three original offspring out for a special day today. Guess they used to do it all the time 'fore we got hitched. I took no offence, rather thought it was a good idea to let em get a taste of days past and know that I did'nt take their mother away from 'em. Maybe me being absent today will actually bring us a bit closer--meanin me and the kids, me and Lil are tighter than ticks and I think they have gotten a bit jeleous over the last few years.
So it's jus me, the confuser and some good movies on the tube along with a satisfied feeling that I made the right decision not taggin along. I hope they have a wonderfull day that leaves nothing but the best of memories.

Leo

Leo Tanner · February 10, 2008, 05:46:38 PM

Well here's some irony...
Lil gave me call on her sale phone and told me they had all set down for some grub at a Red Robbin. Topic of discussion was how they all wished I were there. Never would have figgured that in a million years--I'll be sure to tag along next time

Leo

Ozark Tracker · February 10, 2008, 06:03:55 PM

Leo, good to hear your getting along with everybody, I know sometimes is can be a rocky road with stepkids

we had a time with Jackie's daughter, Amy, she was 12 going on 19 the first time I met her, she'll be 25 this year, me and her had several disagreements along the way, but now we go down and visit the grandkids and I hear her telling her kids some of the things I told her along the way,

Leo Tanner · February 10, 2008, 06:20:18 PM

Quote from: Ozark Tracker on February 10, 2008, 06:03:55 PM
Leo, good to hear your getting along with everybody, I know sometimes is can be a rocky road with stepkids

we had a time with Jackie's daughter, Amy, she was 12 going on 19 the first time I met her, she'll be 25 this year, me and her had several disagreements along the way, but now we go down and visit the grandkids and I hear her telling her kids some of the things I told her along the way,

Ozark,
I love hearing these kinds of stories. Some of the best times I've had involved one of them coming to me for advice--and actually listening. "12 going on 19" about says it all.

Leo

Ozark Tracker · February 10, 2008, 06:30:14 PM

I used to tell my son and then Amy too, when they started acting like a jackass, you better start acting like somebody, about a year or so ago, she asked me if I meant, she should have been acting like somebody she'd be proud of, I told her that's what I had meant, guess it finally got through

I heard her tell her oldest boy here a while back, you better act like somebody. (made me smile)

Four-Eyed Buck · February 10, 2008, 06:54:09 PM

I had that with Sue's two boys, OT. The oldest one gave me a lot of grief back then. Now he's got a stepson of his own and realized what he put me through. He apologized a few years back and really gets concerned when I have medical problems now. The younger one, well, he's still gotta get his head out of his posterior.........Buck

Leo Tanner · February 10, 2008, 06:54:43 PM

Quote from: Ozark Tracker on February 10, 2008, 06:30:14 PM
I used to tell my son and then Amy too, when they started acting like a jackass, you better start acting like somebody, about a year or so ago, she asked me if I meant, she should have been acting like somebody she'd be proud of, I told her that's what I had meant, guess it finally got through

I heard her tell her oldest boy here a while back, you better act like somebody. (made me smile)

I bet it did.
I've got a grandbaby on the way, and I've recently witnessed the girl calling people on their "accountability". I like to believe I introduced that word into her vocabulary. One of my other lectures was "we're not raising children, we're here to raise adults". Being preggo, she gets that now and has ended up being a hard working gal with her future child's best interests in mind. I'm sure the other two will find their way, and I'm glad to know they may want my help and company along the way.

Ozark Tracker · February 10, 2008, 07:13:31 PM

It sure feels better now days than it did at one time, back then it used to about worry her mom to death, Amy calls on the phone every few days and has something to ask my advice about,
I guess with all we've been through, I feel like she's my kid, she'll talk to me about everything under the sun and I try to answer her with an honest answer, wheather that's what she wants to hear or not.

Four-Eyed Buck · February 10, 2008, 10:10:44 PM

Same here, OT. Sue's oldest usually checks with me on things mechanical and for home improvement advice. Amazing how smart you get once they're above a certain age...............Buck

Leo Tanner · February 10, 2008, 11:50:11 PM

Thanks guys.
15 year old boy wanted dinner reservations for him and his sweetheart for Valentines. Lil said she'd help an we ended up with him stormin in and demanding that she deal with makein the arrangments RIGHT NOW!! I suggested in an easy way that they might do it together, so's he could learn how it works and that he sould not speak that way to his Ma. Guess who was the evilest man on the planet at that point? I'm sure you know.
Still waitin for appologies, but won't hold no grudges. His older brother came out to apologize for him, and I told him "thanks, but don't take that on yourself, he'll figure it out one of these days". That's all about I can do, and with past experience I aint worried.
5 and 1/2 years and still haven't raised a hand. Never intend to.

Leo

Leo Tanner · February 26, 2008, 04:41:48 PM

I let this topic drop for awhile, but just had a nice moment. Little Miss stayed home sick from school. I's doin office work and not to many words said tween us today. I went out back to enjoy a Marlboro and saw a HUGE flock of Canadian Geese on the migration. I'm talkin several formations all joined together each with it's own point.
I opened the back door and yelled, "if ya never seen a flock of Canadian Geese come check this out!". Little Miss ran out and for half a minute forgot all about 16 year old drama and bad music

I told her to remember their call as it is unique and she could always identify them by the sound.
That's when she told me that she learns more in my company than at any day of skool. That made my day.

Leo

Arcey · February 26, 2008, 05:28:05 PM

Found out my little girl intends to move in with her boyfriend during spring break. Heck, at 22 'n havin' some sort of direction for the real world now, I don't blame her. Don't think she paid attention to me but she's doin' what I told her to do four years ago. Decent job 'n back in school to get a better one. Long hours for 'er but she knows that was her fault. She finally understands it's not goin' ta be given to 'er. Been spoiled rotten.

I'll be so proud when she gets that degree.

Her Momma and I had our first house when I was her age, her Momma wasn't old enough to buy beer at the time. We had some tall talkin' to do to get the mortgage.

Leo Tanner · March 04, 2008, 04:18:20 PM

Started this thread to reflect on the good moments an old values of family life.
Guess there's two sides to every coin though. Gotta represent them both.
Recently, the ex's husband lost his job an decided a new one wern't worth lookin for. The ex started clutchin at straws an I guess I wa the easiest one to grab. Reniged on the handshake deal we made years ago that kep everything our business an out of the counties's hands. That was plainly my fault, no question.
Naturaly, Me an Lily had to file a response, and were honest as could be. Well boys, the war is on. After spitting out a mouth full of nails the ex went ballistic. Says the only reason we're tryin to modify the custody order is to reduce child support or prevent her from gettin more. We jus want to see the girls (Little Miss 16 and Little Bit 12) get a decent upbringin an learn the basics of livin. They both love spendin their time here an always hate to leave.

Last thing I want is for those girls to get caught up in the middle of all this mess--havin to go into some Judges chambers and be put on the spot. I jus want them to be happy an not feel like any of this is their fault. Little Miss is already flirtin with the dark side an only seems to get it together when we have her for a week or so. I wanna do the right thing here, but there is a big ole blurry line I must not cross. Most confused I ever been in my life...

Leo

Ozark Tracker · March 04, 2008, 04:54:06 PM

them ex/kid problems are some touchy area's, when my first wife and I got a divorce, she told me she didn't want any kid so I took our son and raised him from that time on, he was 8 then, just turned 33 this last month. he still don't care much for her, I didn't care any for her, but all through his life I tried not to run her down and tried to talk him into seeing her on holidays and whenever he could, didn't work too good.

your oldest is old enough to know the reason's for everything and at 12 don't think the other is far behind. they pickup so much more than you realize.

can't give much advice on how to proceed, but that blurry line gets thinner when you remember it's for the girls to get the best available life possible, they will be gone away to school and married or just be gone in a shorter time than you think.