Singin' the Blues or any other durn thing ya want.

[Arcey]

This one always gets me in the Christmas Spirit. It's sung by a l'il girl.


THE CHIMNEY SONG
Bob Rivers Comedy Corp.


There's something stuck up in the chimney
And I don't know what it is,
But it's been there all night long.
Well, I waited up for Santa all Christmas night
But he never came and it don't seem right.
And there's something in the chimney
And it doesn't make a sound,
But I wish you Merry Christmas.

There's something stuck up in the chimney
And I don't know what it is,
But it's been there all week long.
Well, the dog keeps barking up the chimney flue
And we don't know what we're going to do.
Cause there's something in the chimney
And it doesn't move around,
And it's been a week since Christmas.

There's something stuck up in the chimney
And I don't know what it is,
But it's been there all month long.
Well, it's jammed up tight above the fireplace
Now the house smells funny, such a big disgrace.
That there's something in the chimney
And it doesn't talk at all,
And it's been there since last Christmas.

There's something stuck up in the chimney
And I don't know what it is,
But it's been there all year long.
I'll been waiting up for Santa like I did last year
But my brother says, "He's already here."
And he's stuck up in the chimney
And he doesn't say a word
And he'll be there every Christmas.
And we'll have him every Christmas.

[litl rooster]

Bob Rivers can sure come up with some off the wall stuff.

[Arcey]

'nother heart warmer.

Chipmunks Roasting On An Open Fire

Chipmunks roasting on an open fire
Hot sauce dripping from their toes
Chipmunks: Oh! That tickles!
Yuletide squirrels fresh filleted by the choir
They poked hot skewers through their nose
Chipmunks: Ow! Wrong end, cowboy!
Everybody knows some pepper and a garlic clove
Help to make them seasoned right
Tiny rats with a crisp golden coat
Will really hit the spot tonight

And now when Santa sees his tray
Santa: Ho ho ho ho ho
There'll be some homemade chipmunk jerky for his sleigh
Santa: Mmmm...Hey, look at that!
And every hungry child is gonna spy
To see if chipmunks really sing when they fry
And so I'm brushing on some honey glaze
To keep them crisp and juicy too
Let's hope they get served many times many ways
Tasty Chipmunks; good food

Dave: On that, Mr. Cole
Mr.Cole: Yes, sir, Mr. Seville?
Dave: Would you mind handing me the barbeque sauce? I am starved!
Mr.Cole: Oh,no problem Dave. Hey listen, you best be havin' two of those drumsticks, because they're oh-so-tiny and there ain't much meat on 'em
Melvin: What about animal rights, Dave?
Dave: Put a sock in it Melvin. You know, for years people said you over-rated hamsters were my meal ticket. Now I guess you could just say you're my meal!
That's a good one, Dave...I always knew you was the funny one in the group!
Dave: Damn straight!

And so I'm offering some recipes
From chipmunk pie to chipmunk stew
I'm not really sad that it ended this way
Furry chipmunks screw you

Dave: Did you hear that Melvin? Melvin? Melllllllllllviiiiiiiiiiiin?
Mr. Cole: Why, I'm sorry Dave, did you want Melvin? There's plenty of Thagadore left though...

[Silver Creek Slim]

 
Where did ya find that one, Arcey?

Slim

[Lucky Irish Tom]

Here it is Slim, it's been a long standing Bob Rivers parody!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dyu9jppjIAA&feature=related

[Silver Creek Slim]

Thanks, Tom.

Slim

[litl rooster]

do a Lime Wire search and he's probably got 50 different ones he's done over the years.

[Delmonico]

Was listenin' to some kinda non-cowboy Michael Martin Murphy today.

Hey daddy, I've got a problem
Last night I took my girlfriend for a ride
And the way she touched my hand dad
I got this funny feeling deep inside
So I leaned over and I kissed her
I put my arms around her and then
Well she reached out and she slapped me
She said, "You're just like all the other men"

Son you're talking to the wrong man
If you wanna know what girls are all about
You're talking to the wrong man
Still ain't got your mama figured out

By the way son, I've got a problem
I wonder could you talk with me a while
You see lately your mama she ignores me
Hardly ever gives me a little smile
So I was thinkin' maybe you could show me
The way you younger fellas comb your hair
Think I need to change my style son
Could you show me something really cool to wear?

Dad you're talking to the wrong man
If you wanna know what girls are all about
You're talking to the wrong man
Still ain't got my girlfriend figured out

So I guess we'll just go fishin'
Or maybe head out to that old golf course today
When our buddies ask us about women
I think I know exactly what we'll say

Boys you're talking to the wrong man
If you wanna know what girls are all about
You're talking to the wrong man
Still ain't got them women figured out
Still ain't got them women figured out

[litl rooster]

Sun is sinking in the west
The cattle go down to the stream
The redwing settles in the nest
It's time for a cowboy to dream

Purple light in the canyon
that is where I long to be
With my three good companions
just my rifle pony and me

Gonna hang my sombrero
on the limb of a tree
Coming home sweet my darling
just my rifle pony and me

Whippoorwill in the willow
sings a sweet melody
Riding to Amarillo
just my rifle pony and me

No more cows to be ropin'
No more strays will I see
'round the bend shell be waitin
For my rifle pony and me
For my rifle my pony and me

[Delmonico]

Deno and Ricky, got that on a CD here at work, it has an introdution by The Duke.

[Texas Lawdog]

From the movie"Rio Bravo" in 1959, almost 50 years ago. My, how time flies.

[Ozark Tracker]

been listening to them oldie but goodies,  this one just keeps sticking. 

I pulled into Nazareth, I was feelin' about half past dead;
I just need some place where I can lay my head.
"Hey, mister, can you tell me where a man might find a bed?"
He just grinned and shook my hand, and "No!", was all he said.

(Chorus:)
Take a load off Fannie, take a load for free;
Take a load off Fannie, And (and) (and) you can put the load right on me.

I picked up my bag, I went lookin' for a place to hide;
When I saw Carmen and the Devil walkin' side by side.
I said, "Hey, Carmen, come on, let's go downtown."
he said, "I gotta go, but m'friend can stick around."

(Chorus)

Go down, Miss Moses, there's nothin' you can say
It's just ol' Luke, and Luke's waitin' on the Judgement Day.
"Well, Luke, my friend, what about young Anna Lee?"
He said, "Do me a favor, son, woncha stay an' keep Anna Lee
company?"

(Chorus)

Crazy Chester followed me, and he caught me in the fog.
He said, "I will fix your rags, if you'll take Jack, my dog."
I said, "Wait a minute, Chester, you know I'm a peaceful man."
He said, "That's okay, boy, won't you feed him when you can."

(Chorus)

Catch a Cannonball, now, t'take me down the line
My bag is sinkin' low and I do believe it's time.
To get back to Miss Annie, you know she's the only one.
Who sent me here with her regards for everyone.

[Tensleep]

I have trouble getting this one by Don Edwards outta my head.



In the lobby of a big hotel in New York town one day
Sat a bunch of fellows telling yarns to pass the time away
They told of places where they'd been and different things they'd seen
Some preferred Chicago town while others New Orleans



I can see the cattle grazing o'er the hills at early morn
I can see the campfires smokin at the  breaking of the dawn
I can hear the bronco's neighing I can hear the cowboy sing
I'd like to be in Texas for the round-up in the spring.



In a corner in an old armchair sat a man whose hair was gray
He listened to them eagerly to what they had to say
They asked him where he'd like to be his clear old voice did ring
I'd like to be in Texas for the round-up in the spring


I can see the cattle grazing o'er the hills at early morn
I can see the campfires smokin at the  breaking of the dawn
I can hear the bronco's neighing I can hear the cowboy sing
I'd like to be in Texas for the round-up in the spring.



They sat and listened carefully to each word he had to say
They knew the old man sitting there had been a top hand in his day
They asked him for a story of his life out on the plains
Slowly he removed his hat then quietly began.


I've seen  em stampede o'er the hills till you'd think they'd never stop
I've seen  em run for miles and miles until their leader dropped
I was a foreman of a cow ranch, the calling of a king
I'd like to be in Texas for the round-up in the spring.


I can see the cattle grazing o'er the hills at early morn
I can see the campfires smokin at the  breaking of the dawn
I can hear the bronco's neighing I can hear the cowboy sing
I'd like to be in Texas for the round-up in the spring.


I'd like to sleep my last long sleep with mother earth for bed
My saddle for a pillow, the bright stars overhead
Then I could hear the last stampede, the songs of rivers sing
Way back down in Texas for the round-up in the spring.

[litl rooster]

From the movie"Rio Bravo" in 1959, almost 50 years ago. My, how time flies.

  I was just a boy not mucher shorter than I am now



Sleep i like that one..... OT you must be listening to the same station I was listening too... I heard it on the way to work Sat morning

I was search'n, Ricky's "Garden party" when I found the other...just thought it was good one to post here

[Delmonico]

 



S OT you must be listening to the same station I was listening too... I heard it on the way to work Sat morning

Most likely gettin' it off the same pewter in the home office.   With a good radio on a hill round here you can get 3-4 stations, all playin' the same music, just different ads.

[Arcey]

They say a man should always dress for the job he wants
So why'm I dressed up like a pirate in this restaurant

It's all because some hacker stole my identity
Now I'm stuck here every evenin' servin' chowder 'n iced tea

Should have gone to free credit report dot com

Yee Haww!

I could have seen this comin' at me like an atom bomb

They monitor your credit and send you e-mail alerts
So you don't end up sellin' fish to tourists in T-Shirts

[Trinity]

  I love that commercial.

[litl rooster]

I love that commercial.

seen it for the first time lastnight...

[Silver Creek Slim]

Here's the link to it on YouTube.


Slim

[Arcey]

With a good radio on a hill round here you can get 3-4 stations, all playin' the same music, just different ads.

Seems I'm stuck with the ever excitin' 'thump squeak' of Virginia Tech basketball damned near every evenin'. If it ain't ten guys runnin' 'round in oversized underwear it's a bunch of announcers wantin' ta talk 'bout it. They bust in right in the middle of regular programmin'. Taken ta puttin' the 26 outtah reach sos I don't blow the stereo away.  I'm wonderin' how the crowd follows it. Gottah interfere with the game shows they watch on TV.

Ennyways, I know where the streamin' audio is 'n I listen via the computer. It's funny when ya hear a nationally syndicated host doin' local commercials.