Singin' the Blues or any other durn thing ya want.

[Texas Lawdog]

British comedy is a little different from ours.

[Delmonico]

British comedy is a little different from ours.

The comedy I like, the other shows, naw.

[Major E A Sterner]

There's a penguin on the Telly 

[Leo Tanner]

Monty Python did some good 'uns.  Benny Hill I could do with out.

There was a bit I believe was Python that had ta do with an English talk show about cigarettes.  I'm bein real careful here, but someone out there is bound ta know what I'm talkin about.  I about die laughin everytime I hear it.

     I'm proud of em fer lookin inta Tipper's husband.  Aint suprised we didn't.

[Texas Lawdog]

Leo, What goes around, comes around.

[Trinity]

Lee Hazlewood was a better songwriter than he was a singer.

I haven't heard everything of his, but I thought he sounded good.

Al Franken was never funny. 

I disagree.  I don't care what a person's politics are.  Funny is funny.

[Leo Tanner]

He just never made me laugh, even when he had that partner.  Acourse he was surrounded by lots of other talent at the time so mebbe I just din't pay him much attention.

[Texas Lawdog]

If Franken gets elected,he will be in good company, a liberal and full of BS.

[Trinity]

All politicians are full of BS and other kinds of S as well.

[Texas Lawdog]

Politicans are always telling people what they want to hear just to get their vote.

[Trinity]

Another great one


I married a woman who talks like Jerry Reed
God just didn't bless her with the vocal chords she needs
She looks like Cindy Crawford, but that ain't the way she sounds
When we make love, I keep hearin' "East Bound And Down"

I work sixty hours a week, and I bring home my check
She says, "Son you're gonna have to take me out
and put some groceries down my neck"
So I took her to a fancy restaraunt - she looked down her nose and said
"Why didn't we stop at a choke and puke, for some grilled cheese sandwiches"

I married a woman who talks like Jerry Reed
Oughta be on the cover of Playboy,'cause that body's garaunteed
She talks just like that guitar man, that crawled out of the swamp
That Lousiana law gonna save you, when I knock ya in the head with a stump

Shethinks my name is Amos, when she ain't callin' me son
"Amos, son, I'm under stress. Let's go somewhere that's fun"
So I flew her to Europe and spent ten-thousand bucks
She said, "I'd have had more fun thumbin' a ride on a overloaded poultry truck"


I married a woman who talks like 'you know who'
Got a brand new pair of earplugs, stuck in with Elmer's glue
Bought all the lamps that K-Mart had, 'cause there's one thing I don't need
Is to be in the dark with a woman who sounds just like Jerry Reed

It's hard to be romantic, when she whispers in my ear
"You got a long way to go, and a short time to get here"
She talks like that trucker, whether I like it or not
"We're loaded up and truckin', and when you're hot - you hot"

[Texas Lawdog]

Every Man's nightmare.

[Tensleep]

That calls for this....

A few minutes before the church services started, the congregation was sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.

Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.

Soon the church was empty except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.

So Satan walked up to the man and said, 'Do you know who I am?'

The man replied, 'Yep, sure do.'

'Aren't you afraid of me?' Satan asked.

'Nope, sure ain't.' said the man.

'Don't you realize I can kill you with one word?' asked Satan.

'Don't doubt it for a minute,' returned the old man, in an even tone.

'Did you know that I can cause you profound, horrifying AGONY for all eternity?', persisted Satan.

'Yep,' was the calm reply.

'And you are still not afraid?' asked Satan.

'Nope,' said the old man.

More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, 'Why aren't you afraid of me?'


The man calmly replied, 'Been married to your sister for 48 years.'

[Texas Lawdog]

SA LOOT !

[Trinity]

 

[Texas Lawdog]

If she really looks like Cindy Crawford, so what if she talks like Jerry Reed.

[Leo Tanner]

Tex, it jus aint worth it Man.  They's the worst kind.
     Tensleep, ya just made me spray spit all over this confuzer screen.  Paper towels please.


Leo

[litl rooster]

 

[Texas Lawdog]

Ya gotta admire that man's GRIT!

[Texas Lawdog]

Here's something for you Frank Sinatra fans   http://www.animatronics.org/strangers/strangers.htm