Leo for Prez, formally The litl rooster Cam-pain

[Trinity]

Hooligan!

[Ozark Tracker]

ah the good old days,  times sure have changed, we used to get a paddling at the drop of hat. no questions asked,  
and if I got one at school, I got one at home for getting one at school.   no win situation

but they expected you to act like an adult a lot earlier than they do now, heck I was driving a tractor all summer when I was 9,  it was something I wanted to do, but when you lived out on the farm, they'd turn ya loose doing things that parents today would pass out over or get arrested.

I can remember in the spring, roping and wrestling calves to the ground so grandpa could cut em,  I started that at 6,  how much time would ya get for that     I sure got dragged around a lot back then till I learned where to grab em.

[Arcey]

We went off 'n played in the marsh.  Knew when ta be home. Walk down the street with BB rifles 'n no one noticed.

Old man put me behind a lawn mower when I was nine.  By the end of the summer I was cuttin' ours 'n the two neighbors' lawns.  Werkin' the other jobs I mentioned 'n still did mowin' grass 'til I moved out at 19.  Susie can't understand why I hate it these days.  Been doin' it 45 years, tired of it.

We weren't hooligans, we just wanted some fun was all.  Got my ass suspended for three days in junior high for stealin' a mouse out a science project.  I didn't steal it.  I watched the hall while someone else did.  That was fun to explain at home.

Somehow, a teacher's car wound up with a flat tire.  Me 'n another guy changed it for her.  She thought we were saints from then on.

[Trinity]

I'm probably a member of the last generation that got paddlings at school and home.  I can still remember the first grade paddle.  Throughout the year, one by one, the boys would eventually be carried to the empty classroom next door get it.  I can still remember when my number was up.  I was more mortified knowing that the other kids could hear it and were listening, as I had done so many times, to see if I cried.  I did all that I could and didn't cry, but it sure did sting!

I'm sure I had other paddlings, but I only remember that first one.

I've always been a city boy, so I never had much to do with the farm life.  Try as I might to avoid it, I did mow some lawns though.

[Arcey]

N'er had paddlin's.  Where I grew up weren't the best of neighborhoods.  Thinkin' the teachers figgered it weren't a good idea with some them kids.

The ole man was kindah funny.  Tell 'im what I did 'n he'd take care of it.  He had a temper worse'n mine. 'Don't put yer hands on my boy'.  Only child.  I'd rather had a teacher whack me.

[Ozark Tracker]

I would have always took a teacher's busting me than my dad,  he had a leather belt that could and did stripe ya.  he always figgured I needed a good busting,  so I'd be acting right. 

I was an only child. too.

[Delmonico]

Durn it Arcey you had to meation the BB guns.  Aunt and Uncle lived nearer the edge of town than we did, used to take the pellet rifle over there, cuz and I'd walk a half mile down the street with them inta soon woods and we could be kids.  Found a loaded 410 shell one time, stuck it in the crotch of a tree, crimp pointed away so we could hit the primer with them, should be safe, shot will go the other day.  Ya ever meet up with me, remind me, still have the scar where the primer hit me.   A that was all that happened, the primer came back and hit me in the finger, the one on the left hand I can use to signal other drivers with.

Drove by there the other day and though about those woods that used to be there, full of ugly apartment houses, damn fast food joints on the corner.

[Arcey]

Had this neighborhood bully.  Couple years older'n the rest of us.  Always in trouble.  Decided I knew how to whip his ass.  Didn't werk.  Wound up with a black eye 'n a bunch ah brusies, torn clothes.  Did manage ta bust his mouth open.  But I lost, no doubt.

Wound up in the kitchen with the ole man.  Told 'im what happened.  Told 'im I picked the fight.  Didn't matter ta him.  Other kid was older 'n bigger 'n had a rep of pushin' the kids around.

Next evenin' he goes over ta the boy's house.  Tells his daddy ta sit on 'im.  Next time his kid beat me up, he's gonna come over 'n find out which of the two daddys were the best at fightin'.  N'er had a problem with that kid again.

Lose a fight with a kid my age 'n size.  He'd say if he were me he wouldn't mess with that kid again. 

[Delmonico]

Delmonico prints up some more bumper stickers.

VOTE FER litl rooster HE DRINKS PEPSI

HE AIN'T NO COCA COLA COWBOY

[litl rooster]

ezzzz Del don't want to run the campain donations from Folgers off

[Silver Creek Slim]

 

Slim

Coca Cola Cowboy
by Mel Tillis

Verse 1:
(E) I called collect on the phone
You say you're tired and alone
But it sounds like some one else is lying (A) there
She said don't call me no (F#m) more (B7)
(A) Don't you knock on my (F#m) door (B7)
It's (F#m) too late now and I (B7) know you'll never (E) change

Chorus:
And (E) she said, you're just a coca cola (A) cowboy
You got an (F#m) Eastwood smile and Robert Redford (B7) hair
But you (E) walked across my heart like it was (A) Texas
And you (F#m) taught me how to (B7) say, I just don't (E) care

Verse 2:
She (E) said just leave me alone
And let me hang up this phone
Cause he'll see me cry and think I still love (A) you
Please don't call me no (F#m) more (B7)
I (E) changed the locks on my (F#m) door (B7)
It's (A) time you understood that we are (E) through

Repeat Chorus:
Repeat Chorus:
Tagg:
(A) Yes you (F#m) taught me how to (B7) say I just don't (E) care

[Delmonico]

Delmonico prints up more bumper stickers.

VOTE FER litl rooster HE DRINKS FOLGERS

IT'S MOUNTIAN GROW, THE RICHEST KIND

Of course all coffee grows in the mountians, it's the only place it grows.

[Trinity]

Del, down here it's not Coca Cola.  It's Co-coler.

[Steel Horse Bailey]

Shucks, Del - don' git Rooster in trouble wif any of his supporters - OR Mel Tillis.

Just print his stickers like this:


VOTE FER litl rooster He Drinks!

[Trinity]

Leave a length of sticker behind it so that the various constituents can add their own beverage, if they wish.

For example:

Moms:

VOTE FER litl rooster He Drinks Kool-Aid


CMT viewers:

VOTE FER litl rooster He Drinks Whiskey

Lifetime Network viewers:

VOTE FER litl rooster He Drinks Beverages  with Umbrellas

[Ozark Tracker]

Health Food Nuts;

VOTE FER litl rooster He Drinks  Celery Juice

[Trinity]

[Sod Buster]

Health Food Nuts;

VOTE FER litl rooster He Drinks  Celery Juice   V-8

[Trinity]

That's ok... you add some vodka an' TO-basker to it?

[Marshal harpoluke]