Tall Tales Group Therapy

[Delmonico]

I could just see someone walkin' in to the emergency room holdin' his cowboy hat just below the waist.   The nurse would say, "well we got another one, get the big square needle."

[Silver Creek Slim]

Remember when you ran away and I got on my knees and begged you not to
leave because I'd go berserk?? Well...
You left me anyhow and then the days got worse and worse and now you see
I've gone completely out of my mind.. And..

They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!
They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa
To the funny farm. Where life is beautiful all the time and I'll be
happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats and they're
coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!!!!

You thought it was a joke and so you laughed, you laughed when I had said
that loosing you would make me flip my lid.. RIGHT???
I know you laughed, I heard you laugh, you laughed you laughed and
laughed and then you left, but now you know I'm utterly mad... And..

They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa,
They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa.
To the happy home. With trees and flowers and chirping birds and basket
weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes and they're
coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!!

I cooked your food, I cleaned your house, and this is how you pay me back
for all my kind unselfish loving deeds.. Huh??
Well you just wait, they'll find you yet and when they do they'll put you
in the ASPCA, you mangy mutt!!! And...

They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa.
They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa.
To the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time and I'll be happy
to see those nice young men in their clean white coats and they're coming
to take me away, ha-haaa!!!
To the happy home, with trees and flowers and chirping birds and basket
weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes and they're
coming to take me away, ha-haa!!!
To the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time... (fade out)

Hey, buddy!
Yes officer..
You a head?
No, but I'm catching up, ha ha ha....

[Lucky Irish Tom]

It's hiz parents fault Cammie! 

[Arcey]

<<<<<<Remember when you ran away and I got on my knees and begged you not to
leave because I'd go berserk?? Well...
You left me anyhow and then the days got worse and worse and now you see
I've gone completely out of my mind.. And..

They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!
They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa
To the funny farm. Where life is beautiful all the time and I'll be
happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats and they're
coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!!!!>>>>>>

Ummm.....  Interesting reaction to an adverse social occurance.  As a trained professional, I will strongly recommend the adoption of the following attitude:

I've made a small fortune, and you've squandered it all.
You've shamed me till I feel about one inch tall.
But I thought I loved you, and I hoped you would change,
so I gritted my teeth and didn't complain.

Now you've come to me with a simple goodbye.
You tell me you're leaving, but you won't tell me why.
We're here at the station and you're getting on.
And all I can think of is.........

Thank God and Greyhound you're gone!

Thank God and Greyhound you're gone!
I didn't know how much longer I could go on,
watching you take the respect out of me,
watching you make a total wreck out of me.
That big diesel motor is a playing my song.

Thank God and Greyhound you're gone!

Thank God and Greyhound you're gone!
That load on my mind got lighter when you got on.
That shiney old bus is a beautiful sight,
with the black smoke rolling up around the tail lights.
It may sound kinda cruel, but I've been silent too long:

Thank God and Greyhound you're gone!

You'll be much better now.  That'll be fifteen hundred bucks.  Pay the lady at the desk on the way out.........................

NEXT!!!!

[Ozark Tracker]

or we could just be crazy and not remember anythng



I don't remember loving you
And I don't recall the things
You say you put me through
You tell me that you've had
A guilty conscience for so long
You say that you walked out on me
You say you did me wrong
Well, I just don't see how that could be true
'Cause I don't remember loving you

I don't remember loving you
You might talk to my doctor
He drops by each day at two
I get a funny feeling
When I look into your eyes
There's something in your smile
That gives my stomach butterflies
You must look like someone I once knew
But I don't remember loving you

CHORUS
I don't remember loving you
I heard you mention children
Did you say there's one or two?
You say I quit my job
And then I drank myself insane
You say that I ran down the highway
Screaming out your name
Well, that's not the sort of thing that I would do
No, I don't remember loving you

I don't remember loving you
I absolutely positively
Know that can't be true
But everyone I know here in this place
Is really strange
If you'll hand me my crayons
I'll be glad to take your name
In case I run across that guy you knew
But I don't remember loving you

I don't remember loving you
And I don't recall the things
You say you put me through
You tell me that you've had
A guilty conscience for so long
You say that you walked out on me
You say you did me wrong
Well, I just don't see how that could be true
'Cause I don't remember loving you

[Noz]

Ifn I take some of that stuff that makes you, you know, for four hours, I sure as heck ain't calling a Doctor. I'm calling everybody I know and posting pictures on the web.
Doctor would just make it go away and at my age I can't afford that.

[litl rooster]

I'm Crazy

crazy for feeling so lonely

I'm crazy

crazy for feeling so blue

I know

you'd love me as long as you wanted

then someday

leave me for somebody knew

(bridge)

worry

why do I let myself worry

wondering

what in the world did I do

crazy

for thinking my love could hold you

I'm crazy for crying

I'm crazy for trying

I'm crazy for loving you

Pass the Prozac please

[litl rooster]

   okay where are the donuts?

[Delmonico]

Will they have doe Nuts and Cough e?

I guess they ain't here, I knew doough nuts had been meantioned.  I bet Slim forgot to bring them, Friday is Tall Tales moderator brings the doughnuts to therapy day.

[Ozark Tracker]

I hope somebody members to bring em,  I ain't allowed out much after dark,   or is it much after  daylight.

[Forty Rod]

Arcey, one of the longest and most painful days of my life started off at 0430 hours one morning when my clock radio went off with old Roy singing that at the top of his lungs, right next to my head.  I sat up so fast that I hit the bunk above mine with my head and concussed the hell out of myself...four hours from medical help.  Thought for awhile I was gonna die, then for another while I was pretty dang sure I never would.

That was 28 years ago and I recovered eventually.  There's nothing wrong with me now...with me now...with me now...with me now...

[Delmonico]

Well I can tell you, never go to the ER gigglin' with a head injury, even a minor one, never seen an  ER room that big or with so much junk in it.  

And is was funny, a bloody rag tied around my head and I was wavin' at all the folks in rush hour traffic on the way to the ER, right in downtown Lincoln.

[Marshal harpoluke]

   Feel like going out N shooting sumpthing.

Must be getting better.

heh, Heh, HEH.

[Ozark Tracker]

here take a handful of these pills, with a maple bar,   that'll get over them feelings.

[Delmonico]

Feelings, nothing more than feelings,
Trying to forget my feelings of love.
Teardrops rolling down on my face,
Trying to forget my feelings of love.

Feelings, for all my life I'll feel it.
I wish I've never met you, girl;
You'll never come again.

Feelings, wo-o-o feelings,
Wo-o-o, feel you again in my arms.

Feelings, feelings
Like I've never lost you
And feelings like I've never 

[Delmonico]

I just found out yesterday that Linda goes to Mars
Every time I sit and look at pictures of used cars
She'll turn on her radio and sit down in her chair
And look at me across the room, as if I wasn't there

Oh My stars! My Linda's gone to Mars
Well I wish she wouldn't leave me here alone
Oh My stars! My Linda's gone to Mars
Well, I wonder if she'd bring me something home.

Something, somewhere, somehow took my Linda by the hand
And secretly decoded our sacred wedding band
For when the moon shines down up on our happy, humble home
Her inner space gets tortured by some outer space unknown.

Oh My stars! My Linda's gone to Mars
Well I wish she wouldn't leave me here alone
Oh My stars! My Linda's gone to Mars
Well, I wonder if she'd bring me something home.

Now I ain't seen no saucers 'cept the ones upon the shelf
And if I ever seen one I'd keep it to myself
For if there's life out there somewhere beyond this life on earth
Then Linda must have gone out there and got her money's worth.

Oh My stars! My Linda's gone to Mars
Well I wish she wouldn't leave me here alone
Oh My stars! My Linda's gone to Mars
Well, I wonder if she'd bring me something home.

Yeah, I wonder if she'd bring me something home.

[Delmonico]

Yah gots to help me, I'm at work and I feel trapped, I can't step out of my department, if I do I get the heeby jeebies, here it's fine, all normal, I step out and it's there, them voices, I hear voices, not the usual Top 40 County dribble, but today it's just voices.

Seems they is fightin' somewhere over a hunk of pig skin, but them voices, don't need the voices.

[Sod Buster]

Yah gots to help me, I'm at work and I feel trapped, I can't step out of my department, if I do I get the heeby jeebies, here it's fine, all normal,

Put on one Ian Tyson CD and check back with us later.......

[Delmonico]

I'm listenin' to Ken Maynard right now.

[Delmonico]

Go Corn Pickers.