It's a Southern thing

[Major E A Sterner]

I got this from an other site courtacy of Howdy Doody and I thought I whould stea...uh share it with Y'all...



Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
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Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
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Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
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Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, ... as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
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Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
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All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
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Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
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Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
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Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
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No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
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A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
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Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're "in line," ... we talk to everybody!
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Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.
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In the South, y'all is singular, .... all y'all is plural.
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Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
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Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
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When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
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Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
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And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart" ... and go your own way.
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To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
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And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
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And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."
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[McMate]

Hey Major, one day, we gonna get you down here to the South for a "visit".

Southern born and love it.


McMate

[Wymore Wrangler]

And your point is..... . born in the midwest but southern in my heart...

[Major E A Sterner]

Miz McMate, That is my lifes dream to be South of the Mason/Dixon line and not just for a visit

Wymore, what else can I say but...Oh I wish I were in the land of cotton...

[Ozark Tracker]

Major,  I hope one day your dreams comes true, the South is a great place to be.

[Major E A Sterner]

Major,  I hope one day your dreams comes true, the South is a great place to be.

Thankee OT, it's what keeps me going up here

[Lucky Irish Tom]

Heck Majer, y'all come on down, we'll do some jawin, let ya set a spell, an find ya someplace ta live down tha road apiece!  Ya might live way up yonder, but yer hearts in tha right place!  Y'all have a good day now ya hear!

[Boston John Doucette]

I like Southerners...

I like Southern food...

I like Southern music...

I like Southern accents...

I HATE the humidity in the South!

BJ (desert dweller extraordinaire) D 

[Arcey]

I HATE the humidity in the South!

Just looked, BJ.  It's only at 84% right now.  Real comfortable, huh?

Maj, whenever.  We'll find a place fer ya.

[Delmonico]

Nice post Major, but you folks have got to do sumthin' about that Foxworthy fella, he's raided and pillaged worse than oll Bill Sherman ever did.

[Ozark Tracker]

an old Southern favorite



If heaven ain't a lot like Dixie, I don't wanna go
If heaven ain't a lot like Dixie, I'd just as soon stay home

I was one of the chosen few, to be born in Alabam',
I'm just alike my daddy's son, I'm proud of who I am.
I went through a lot of good women, and shook old Jim Beam's hand,
If I never see the pearly gates, I've walked through the promised land.

If heaven ain't a lot like Dixie, I don't wanna go,
If heaven ain't a lot like Dixie, I'd just as soon stay home.
If they don't have a Grand Ole Opry, like they do in Tennessee,
Just send me to hell or New York City, it would be about the same to me.

I've got wild honey trees and crazy little weeds, growin' around my shack,
These dusty roads ain't streets of gold, but I'm a happy right where I'm at.
All these pretty little southern belles are a country boy's dream,
They ain't got wings or halos, but they're sure looking good to me. +

If heaven ain't a lot like Dixie, I don't wanna go
If heaven ain't a lot like Dixie, I'd just as soon stay home
If heaven ain't a lot like Dixie, I don't wanna go
If heaven ain't a lot like Dixie, I'd just as soon stay home
If they don't have a Grand Ole Opry, like they do in Tennessee,
just send me to hell or New York City, it would be about the same to me

[Grey Traveler]

Most true Southerners who have ever been away from home for any extended period of time have said:

"If I ever get back home, I am never leaving again"

[Lawful Larry]

It must be an issue thing.  Home is where you rest your head and be with family.  Maybre I spent too much time in the military living out of a bag.

[Forty Rod]

I believe you nailed it, Larry.  Right now California is "home" for those very reasons. 

Course, I don't really live here, y'unnnerstand.  I'm just passin' through...for the last 31-1/2 years.

[Wes Durn]

I don't know Major...I know you LOVE the heat, but right about now, I'm thinking I might relocate to Hammerfest, Norway!! By God it is hot in this house

[Major E A Sterner]

Hey Wes, Glad to see you posting. well You know me and the heat... I was walking around the Great Nor'Easter wearing all black including my Frock coat, Ya gotta look good.

[Tensleep]

Hey Wes, Glad to see you posting. well You know me and the heat... I was walking around the Great Nor'Easter wearing all black including my Frock coat, Ya gotta look good.

He dang shore looked good, not ta me yanno 
but all tha ladies sed so.

[Frenchie]

On the other hand, true Southerners can't properly pronounce "Worcestershire sauce", "Gloucester," "aunt", or "tire". Bless their hearts... 

[Birdgun Quail]

Considering the warm temperatures that we've been experiencing lately, this is a good reminder.

Men sweat.
Women perspire.
Southern ladies glisten. 

[Stump Water]

Hey Wes, Glad to see you posting. well You know me and the heat... I was walking around the Great Nor'Easter wearing all black including my Frock coat, Ya gotta look good.

I think Camille got a picture of ya Maj.   I'll see if I can find it among the 4,524,387 others.