I Thought Spam Only Came In a Can . . . and Then I Received This Email . . . . .

[Two Flints]

Hello SSS,

ENJOY . . . 

Dear Friend,

Permit the manner with which I am seeking your
assistance but I am short of options and have no other
choice.I am Captain John from the hospitality state
(Mississippi), an army/defense contractor attached to the
US Military force in Kuwait. The reason why I'm explaining
my findings to you is to seek for your assistance to
enable you contribute immensely to the actualization
of my dream.

I am attached to the USA army for the sole purpose of
reconstruction work in some parts of Kuwait.
As you very well know, Kuwait is gradually undergoing a
rebuilding process in military defense and there is much
need for reconstruction work, which is were I come in.
I evaluate the level of destruction and offer
professional advice in line with the way they intend
rebuilding. Work has been risky no doubt and
challenging as sometimes we are faced head on with
armed insurgents where we lose some soldiers during
confrontation. I have had my own share of losses as I
lost a friend whom I have known for 15 years.
On the 25th day of February 2013,at about 1400 hrs
during a normal inspection routine along northern Kuwait
border.where there is long thoroughfare of high-rise
buildings which were built and occupied by the late drugs
smugglers at Kuwait's northern border, I along with
2 soldiers proceeded to a marked site and as I
commenced evaluation work while i was closely guarded
by soldiers, I discovered an unusual bulge in a cellar
which i presumed to be a storage room.
I decided to have a go at it only for me to kick the
metal covering and find a metal boxes(6 in number)
piled on top one another which were locked with a
padlock each. Upon forcing the boxes open, we
discovered several guns, amour and some boxes amongst
which two contained bullets, one filled with hard
drugs (heroine) and the other two to my amazement
contained some US Dollars which amounted to $23.2M
after I and two of the soldiers counted them for about
3 hours. I believe the boxes if not owned are linked
to the Kuwait drugs and boarder smugglers.
I however instructed them to keep this in high secrecy
so that we can have the money to ourselves,
they all agreed to the plan and we were going
to get the money out of the country but first we had
to hide the money in some safe and untraceable
location. This made me to consult with a friend in our
force who went with me and the two other officers to
secretly keep the boxes in a safer place after which
we handed over the drugs and the weaponry to there
Government.

I am now in desperate need of a "Reliable and
Trustworthy" person like you who would receive, secure
and protect these boxes containing the US Dollars for
me up on till my assignment elapses here.We cannot
afford to leave the boxes here in Kuwait for any reason
since Kuwait is getting unsafe and dangerous everyday.
We have no idea what could happen next as everything
remains inconclusive at this point.I am fully aware of
what your thoughts would be next which is why I intend
to include my picture as well as my I.D.s for you to
know whom you are dealing with.

I assure and promise to give you 20% of this fund,
however feel free to negotiate what you wish to have
as your percentage in this deal.
Please assure me of your keeping this topmost secret
within you so that my job would not be
jeopardized.Please contact me through my personal
email address by reply to this email.

My Sincere Regards,
Captain John.

[major]

TF
When you respond to him tell him that you are actually a Nigerian princes and you have a deal for him concerning millions of US dollars that your father secured from the Nigerian treasury....ect.  ect.

[Perseo]

I read an interesting analysis of these over-the-top obvious frauds.  Because they are so obvious, only a few people actually are taken in.  But the ones who do respond are the most gullible among us.  If the email were written with more sophistication, the response rate would be much higher but the sender would have a lot of semi-suspicious/semi-gullible people to deal with, folks who probably would not get drawn in all the way to completion.  It would, in short, waste the sender's time.  The conclusion was that the palpable stupidness of the emails serves a purpose.

So, only really stupid people need respond.

[WaddWatsonEllis]

Two Flints,

Hmm ; I got the same email .....

I hope you are not in as dire straits as i; I actually considered it for more than a second .... LOL

TTFN,

[Arizona Trooper]

This fits right in with the call I got this morning from an Indian fellow named "Winston from Microsoft". It appears that my computer has been sending the mother ship signals of distress due to its infection with a virus. Well, he didn't get to the part where I give him remote access so he can "fix it". I cut him off first.

By the way, Eggman won a medal with his Spencer at an N-SSA shoot over in Ga. last weekend. We got to shoot some eggs too!  

[Major 2]

    Doh !