The Oil Rig Monkey

[Sir Charles deMouton-Black]

The Oil Rig Monkey

A tourist walked into a pet store and was looking at the animals on display.  While he was there, a petroleum engineer from a nearby office walked in and said to the storekeeper, 'I'll take an “oil rig hand” monkey please.'

The storekeeper nodded, went to the side of the store, and took out a monkey.  He put a collar and leash on the animal and handed it to the engineer, saying, 'That'll be $2,000.'  The man paid and left with the monkey.'

The surprised tourist went to the storekeeper and said, 'That was a very expensive monkey.  Most monkeys are only a few hundred dollars.  Why did that one cost so much?'

The storekeeper answered, 'Ah, that's an “Oil Rig Monkey”.  He can rig up, plan rig moves, rewind motors, tail pipe, paint, pull maintenance, all with no back talk or complaints.  It's well worth the money.'

The tourist then spotted a monkey in another cage. 'That one's even more expensive!  $10,000!  What does it do?' he asked.

'Oh, that one' replied the storekeeper.'  That's an “Oil Rig Manager” monkey.  It can instruct at levels of maintenance, run the safety program, deal with clients, and even do paper work.  A very useful monkey indeed.'

The tourist looked around a little longer and found a third monkey in a cage.  The price tag was $50,000!  The shocked tourist exclaimed, 'This one costs more than all the others put together!  What in the world can it do?'.

'Actually,' said the shopkeeper, 'I've never really seen him do anything but drink beer and play with himself, but his papers say he's a “Consultant”.

[WaddWatsonEllis]

Sir Charles,

Very good; I think I have known a couple of those type of 'consultants' ... LOL

TTFN,

[Danny Bear Claw]

 

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[Trailrider]

An old bull and a young bull were in a pasture separated from a bunch of good-looking heifers by a barbed wire fence.  The young bull said to the old bull, let's jump the fence and have some "fun" with those gals.  The old bull was pretty much past jumping fences, but he wasn't about to admit it to this young whippersnapper. He nodded to the young bull. They backed off a ways to get a running start, and charged the fence. The young bull cleared the fence with ease, but the poor old bull didn't quite clear it, and got his...ah, "equipment" tangled in the wire, rendering him a steer    The young bull turned back, surveyed his former rival, and said, "Now you're a consultant!"