Name the Despicable NCOW's member contest!

[Itchy Triggerfinger]

In SASS circles I am known as the Dastardly Shameless Womanizer.  (57 with muchas gray hair on my bald head at 340 lbs., the jokes kinda on me, but when I was a skinny kid . . . )

How I became Shameless Womanizer is in dubious honor of my Grandfather who was a Texas Ranger on the bodyguard detail of Ma Furgueson.  The Furgueson's were the two most corrupt Governors of Texas that we know about.  (Don't get me started on Rick Perry as I was a Texas Public School Educator . . .  Now retired.)

Back to the Furgueson's.  Previously Pa Furgueson was going to get impeached.  Pa decided to retire in haste.  Gee, kinda like me.  Anyway, Ma ran for election just after this on the platform, "If you liked Pa, your gonna love Ma."

My grandparents lived in Waco, Texas with their 3 sons and one daughter.  Franklin Asbury Craven was my grandfather.  His work had him living in Austin at the Capital.  He was a tall handsome man who reportedly had a girlfriend in several towns.

My mother used to call him a Shameless Womanizer, hence my SASS handle.

I am known here as Itchy Triggerfinger, the scourge of the West.

Alas . . .  I have let my NCOWS membership lapse.  I want to shoot more in Greenville and the Tyler NCOWs clubs.  I plan to reup come payday (the check is in the mail. No Really)

Desperadoes in the old west had several alias'.  Too many know about Itchy Triggerfinger's true identity.

Here are some ideas for my new handle.

- Asshopper - For when I become my long lost Chinese Rail Road Cooley persona who travels from China seeking his long lost brother Shameless the Womanizer.  Gladys . . . Happy Fanny . . . It means the same thing, verdad?

- Passing Wind?

- Dragoonmiester

- Iron Pony  I do love my extra loud Sportster so . . .

- Balls of Fiya I am a cap and ball kind of guy

- Cochise  What the waiters used to call me in my youth when I worked at Steak and Ale and the now defunct Lock Stock and Barrel restaurants in Dallas.   My hair was to my shoulders at the time or was it that I was known for my love of Psilocybin mushrooms ingested for thousands of years, primarily for spiritual purposes by indigenous populations in the southwest and Mexico.

- Moeteasaa?  From the tribe of waiters who spill tea on you at the country club.  Sounds Indian, huh?

- Bull Goose Looney - I do enjoy Jack Nicholson's character in "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's" nest

Or use your imagination . . .

Thanks,

Itchy

[Sir Charles deMouton-Black]

Olive d'Abuv

[Itchy Triggerfinger]

I have been looking at an Amish Goat Cart for a NCOWS cart.

That and in honor of my goatee I have grown and my appetite.

Goat Boy

[River City John]

How about just "Shameless"?

Has a nice, succinct ring to it.

RCJ

[Pancho Peacemaker]

Capt. Benjamin Dover

Dances with Goats

Wi Phlung Poo

The Crisco Kid

[TallBaldBellied]

Capt. Benjamin Dover

The Crisco Kid

These two together, just ain't right I tell ya!

[Itchy Triggerfinger]

Oh, I likes THE CRISCO KEED . . .  Although I a cheap and juse Hytop Shortening smeared over my balls ordinance.

Effff dis name be takens.  I shall be Hombre.  In honor of the really cheeeep Peestolas I just ordered off of BunGrokers.  Eyes weel have to antique thems from de Black Mattes to be legal in the shootings of NCOWS.  Legal, Legal, why do I care if I am Legal? I am a wanted desperate creeeminal.

Effff dis name be takens.  I shall be THE ANIMAL! My bus driving partner used to tell me joyfully about her life on the farm in Kansas me thinks.  Her mother had names for all the family heffers.  But, her mother would get a disgusted look on her face whenever she spoke of de BULL.  De BULL she called it THE ANIMAL in low guttaral tones.  I think it even chased the mother in questions wishing to have eets way with her.

I have a Juge (huge) Palm Sombrero for my beeg head (7 5/8) for de heats of the summer.  I must buscar (search) for a sutible weenter Sombrero.  Ones with the tiny mirrors and balls freenge.

Thanks for Letting me chare the fantasy.

The Crisco Keed!

[wildman1]

Ya ruined that! I didn't realize it was fantasy. WM