What Canadians Think About Everything?

[Sir Charles deMouton-Black]

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/special/canquiz2005/

[Buffalo Creek Law Dog]

Obviously, only people from Ontario answered question #20.

[Sir Charles deMouton-Black]

      TOP 5 REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA

                       1.  Vancouver has 3.5 million people and only two bridges. You do the math.

                       2.  Your $700,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.

                       3.  You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.

                       4.  There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.


                       5.  Weed.



                       TOP 5 REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA

                       1.  Big rock between you and B.C.

                       2.  Ottawa who?

                       3.  Tax is 5% instead of the approximately 13% it is for the rest of the country.

                       4.  You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of ....

                       5.  You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.



                       TOP 5 REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN

                       1.  You never run out of wheat.

                       2.  Your province is really easy to draw.

                       3.  You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.

                       4.  People will assume you live on a farm.  

                       5. Traveling for more than an hour on the roadways will make your kidneys bleed.



                       TOP 5 REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA

                       1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.

                       2.  Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.

                       3.  Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.

                       4.  You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.

                       5.  You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.



                       TOP 5 REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO

                       1.  You live in the centre of the universe.

                       2.  Your $700,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.

                       3.  You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.

                       4.  The only province with hard-core American-style crime.  

                       5. You have teams in all the major sports leagues.



                       TOP 5 REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC

                       1.  Racism is socially acceptable.

                       2.  You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next.

                       3.  Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.

                       4.  You can blame all your problems on the 'Anglo *#!%!'  

                       5. You receive 51% of Canada's wealth and contribute nothing.



                       TOP 5 REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW  BRUNSWICK

                       1.  One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income.

                       2.  You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.

                       3.  No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick.

                       4.  Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse.



                       TOP 5 REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA

                       1.  Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.

                       2.  You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.

                       3.  You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.



                       TOP 5 REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND

                       1.  Even though more people live on Newfoundland Island, you still got the big, new bridge.

                       2.  You can walk across the province in half an hour.

                       3.  You can drive across the province in two minutes.

                       4.  Everyone has been an extra on 'Road to Avonlea.'

                       5 .  You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night.



                       TOP 5 REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND

                       1.  If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.

                       2.  If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.

                       3.  The workday is about two hours long.

                       4.  It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding.


                       Pass this along to Canadians who need a laugh and foreigners who can learn something about

                       Canada and then laugh.

                       (Let's face  it, we're a rare breed ....)

     

[Charlie Bowdre]

The Great White North ...Gotta Love It!

Dutchy

[Sir Charles deMouton-Black]

Blizzard Update Vancouver (Reuters)  -  Day 2 Vancouver Blizzard 2009


      Chilled Vancouver commuters faced their second day of winter hell today, as an additional 2 centimetres of the peculiar white stuff fell, bringing the lower mainland to its knees and causing millions of dollars worth of damage to the marijuana crops.
     Scientists suspect that the substance is some form of frozen water particles and experts from Saskatchewan are being flown in.
     With temperatures dipping to the almost but not quite near zero mark, Vancouverites were warned to double insulate their lattes before venturing out.
     Vancouver police recommended that people stay inside except for emergencies, such as running out of espresso or biscotti to see them through Vancouver's most terrible storm to date.
     The local Canadian Tire reported that they had completely sold out of fur-lined sandals.
     Drivers were cautioned to put their convertible tops up, and several have been shocked to learn that their SUV's actually have four wheel drive, although most have no idea how to use it.
     Weary commuters faced soggy sushi, and the threat of frozen breast implants.
     Although Dr. John Blatherwick, of the Coastal Health Authority reassured everyone that most breast implants were perfectly safe to 25 below, down-filled bras are flying off the shelves at Mountain Equipment Co-op.
     "The government has to do something," snarled an angry Trevor Warburton. 
     "I didn't pay $540,000 for my one bedroom condo so I could sit around and be treated like someone from Toronto."

[Charlie Bowdre]

You are a riot!
Nailed it right on the head!!


Dutchy , from here in the soggy east.

[Sir Charles deMouton-Black]

Did you know there is a website directed to finding out what men think?

http://ca.askmen.com/canada/index.html

Here is the result of a recent survey, calling us "Renaissance men"!

http://www.timescolonist.com/entertainment/Renaissance+alive+well+Canada/3320526/story.html

I wonder how 19th century Canadian men would have responded?