Oh, and just to prove I don't always write tear-jerkers ... here's a "bonus track" fer ya'll.
I’s the Best Puncher in This Here Camp
© Roland Millington 2008, All Rights Reserved
Widduh Larimer came out to camp last week
While we was parked up by Steelehead Creek.
She said to us, “Boys, Now I need to know,
Seein’s how it’s me that’ll be runnin’ this show,
“Which one of ya’lls the best in the bunch
I gots my feelins, but I don’t play to no hunch.
When it comes to headin’ up my whole outfit
I wanna feller who’s dadgum pert near with it.”
So she looked over us all, then to old Tall Bill
And the rest of us boys, we got mighty still.
She finally came out with her curiosity
“Is there a cowpoke here, better’n ye?"
Well, old Tall Bill, he’s mighty lean on words.
He said he figures most aren’t fit for the birds.
“Ma’am, when it comes to just who’s the cowpoke champ,
Well, I’s the best puncher in this here camp.”
She spat on the ground and eyed him again
Just like she was a’fixin’ to flatten his grin
“You sorry old oaf, I done seen you ride
You couldn’t pull leather, much less pull hide
Nor hair off any old pony here,
And rid’n’s perdy ‘portant to me, I fear.
Not ta mention yer a pretty old sort
But I doubt you’s much good when you’s a young little sport.
So don’t let me hear ya braggin’, ya blustery ol' fool.
There’s six or seven men here could take ya ta school.
So if somewhere here, I find me a champ,
It won’t be you who’s the best in this camp.”
Now Tall Bill looked mad, his face was all red.
And jes when we was feared the widduh was dead,
Tall Bill tipped his head back and roared
And we was plumb flattened like an old washboard.
The widduh looked downright corn-fuzzled
And shoot, we too, was all sorta puzzled
‘Bout what old Tall Bill found so funny
What was it that turned him from burnt to sunny?
“Ma’am, I think you mistook the words that I said
I don’t think they settled quite right in your head.
See this here cowpoke, come in with Gonzales?
Well his name’s Ingnatio Hernandez De La Meneo …
… Up from Nogales.
"And a five-dollar handle like that’s a whole mess.
So we shortened his name up, cause we thought it was best.
We got it real tiny, and got it plumb simplified.
We here round camp, well we just call him ‘I.’
"He’s a roper, and a rider, and a judge of horseflesh.
When it comes to cow work, well, he’s simply the best.
Ma’am, when it comes to who here is the cowpoke champ,
Well, I’s the best puncher in this here camp.”
Night ya'll!