My hometown was SOOOOO small...

[Forty Rod]

That my Dad plugged in his electric shaver and the trolley stopped.

The leader of the Ku Klux Klan was a black guy.

The head of the local mafia was Chinese.

The city park was in a flower pot.

The biggest building in town was the city hall, a four hole outhouse. 

Our Civil War relic was a button.

The only traffic light we had was in the next town, sixteen miles away.

They closed down the ppublic library when someone lost the book.

The mayor lived in the basement of city hall.

[The Arapaho Kid]

My hometown was so small that the local paper combined three features into one column.  They combined the births, marriages and deaths into a column they entitled "Hatched, Matched and Detached".

My hometown was so small that when they decided to paint a line down the middle of Main Street, there wasn't enough money in the city funds to widen the street.

My hometown was so small that the sign on the road said "Welcome to"

[Tensleep]

Our town was so small that the town limit signs was on tha opposite sides of the same 4x4.

[The Arapaho Kid]

My hometown was so small that all the welcome mats said "Wel".

[Scattered Thumbs]

My hometow was so small that Main Street was an one way road.

We had a car once. It went, never came back. 

[The Arapaho Kid]

My home town was so small that:

Our zip code was a fraction!
Our 7-11 was a 3 1/2  5 1/2!
A "night on the town" only took eleven minutes!
The phone book only had one page!

[The Arapaho Kid]

My hometown was so small that our election signs looked like this:

[Brazos Bucky Smith]

  my hometown was so small, if ya spit on the sidewalk ya got a ticket from the towns on either side of ya!    Now thats a small town!

Brazos

[Big George McCoy]

You wanna talk about small?

Here's the sign when you enter my town.

[UncleRed]

When my folks got divorced....it became a ghost town...!! 

[Doctor Bill]

My hometown was so small.....

They drop you from the football team because they don't have a uniform big enough for you.

The local Baskin-Robbins only has three flavors - and one of them is Skoal!

If you want to go out and paint the town red, a single can of spray paint will usually do the trick.

Under the heading of FUTURE CIVIC IMPROVEMENTS they are discussing the purchase of a second horse.

Doctor Bill

[The Arapaho Kid]

My hometown was so small that the big event for Saturday night was to gather at the general store and watch Josh grind coffee.  the big event for Sunday, after church, was to gather at the local filling station and watch Lem gas up the cars that were passing through.