OT: Rules of Engagement for US Military Forces (Humor)

[Big John Denny]

Rules Of Engagement
 
US Marine Corps Rules:
 
1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.
5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a "4."
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral & diagonal preferred.)
9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to shoot.
 
Navy SEAL's Rules:
 
1. Look very cool in sunglasses.
2. Kill every living thing within view.
3. Adjust speedo.
4. Check hair in mirror.
 
US Army Rangers Rules:
 
1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.
2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
3. Request permission via radio from "Higher" to perform killing.
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.
 
US Army Rules:
 
1. Select a new beret to wear.
2. Sew patches on right shoulder.
3. Change the color of beret you decide to wear.
 
US Air Force Rules:
 
1. Have a cocktail.
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.
3. See what's on HBO.
4. Ask "what is a gunfight?"
5. Request more funding from Congress with a "killer" PowerPoint presentation.
6. Wine & dine 'key' Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry executives.
7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.
8. Declare the assets "strategic" and never deploy them operationally.
9. Hurry to make 1345 tee-time.
 
US Navy Rules:
 
1. Go to Sea.
2. Drink Coffee.
3. Deploy Marines
 

[Luke MacGillie]

Very Nice!

[Delmonico]

And nuthin' will make a Marine turn tail and run faster than a Corpsman with a needle.   I know 2 of them and they think it is hilarious.

[Luke MacGillie]

I think there needs to be an change to the rules,  "Dont get in any gunfight without a rifle who's caliber begins with 3 or handgun that begins with 4"

Luke (reformed M4 Carbine shooter)

[Forty Rod]

Had a friend whist in the Corps who was a Corpsman.  He had a needle about 6" long and 1/1" in diameter on a humongous syringe.

Whenever one of my men went to him with a back, muscle, or other mysterious pain that didn't have any obvious symptoms other than the pain, Doc George would get out this contraption and a horrid green botle of liquid.

"I'm going to give you a Sinep shot and that should fix you up in short order."

If the guylooked at tha needle and that thisk juice in the bottle and tell Doc to go on ahead, he got the full treatment to find out what was causing the problem.  If they balked or panicked, they were declared malingerers and sent back to duty.

Sinep spelled backward is.....