Enterin' this thread on the eastbound Union Pacific, Delmonico wonders if anyone will be in Kearney ta meet him. No matter it is gettin' late, so he uses his feather piller from the Fort Sill thread and a blacket from his soogun and curls up on the train seat ta sleep till the train gets ta Kearney. ::)
When the train arrives in Kearney, Delmonico gathers his mule and gear and heads ta the livery stable. With his mule and gear safe for the night, he heads to a hotel along main street ta put himself up fer the night. As he gets ready ta go ta bed he makes plans for this next adventure. ::)
He also laughs when he thinks about the scare the Indians are gonna give Slim on his return trip from his weekend visit to see his wife and 16 kids. ;D ;D
Delmonico gets up and decides to wander around Kearney and see the sighte till someone shows up. ::)
Just past suppertime Trinity rides into camp but finds no one there. Most distressing is the fact that Trinity could find NO FOOD! Surely Delmonico would have made some food for the gang, knowing that after such a long and arduous trip food would be all that they would be wanting.
"Ah'm going to stoke up the fahr and lay down a bit in hopes that Delmonico will arrive back soon. I know He'll come back cuz his dutch ovens are here in his wagon!" Ifn he aint back soon, Ah'll have to go lookin fer him. Ah'll just wait here an stay awake..." As soon as Trinity finished talking to himself he fell asleep.
Delmonico rides inta camp and gently, with the toe of his boot, KICKS TRINITY AWAKE.
Saddle up and put yer butt in it we're goin' ta town and eat, there is a really good all you can eat fer one price Chineesee eati' house in town and they are great! ;D
;D ;D ;D " Shooooo-whee! Ah love me some all fer one price food! Them Chinese-swedish meatballs is good. Ah also love them chinese-hotdogs that is cut up an wrapped in chinese bacon!!!! Less git a move on an Ah'll even forgit that painful rib what yah just probily broke!"
Trinity thinks...
"Ahm gonna even git us some of that chinese beer"
Delmonico and Trinity settle down ta eat the all ya can eat for one price meal and discuss business.
Delmonico says ta Trinity, "I've been do'in some inquiring around here, there be some great land a little North-West a here fere a ranch, Slim al' show up in this thread tommorow and I got the land all scouted out, was up here a couple of years ago."
"There is a river with a really cool name up there we'll settle on, but a'll wait till Slim gets here ta tell ya the name. Besides that it'l be closer ta Wissyconsion so he won't have ta travel so fur ta see his wife and 17 kids on the weekends. Besides that there ain't no Commaches up here ta scare him and hang him upside down."
"I'll pay the bill on the way out, but don't spect no fortune cookie. These Chinese all ya can eat places be period correct or we would not be here, but ya gots to wait bout 50 years fer some guy out ta Calyforia ta invents them."
Delmonico wanders around Kearney., wonderin' when Slim is gonna show up with his Wissyconsion brandin' irun so they can regester it in Newbrasskey since Slim has the only one. Course Delmonico has one, but it is fer liftin' lids, cause if ya get caught brandin' with it ya can get hungs. ;D
Trinity sits on the ground laying against a tree in front of the mercantile with his hands on his belly.
"Ooohhhhh, mah belly hurts. What kind of meat was that at the Chinese-eat-all-ya-can-eat-fer-one-price place? Ah ain fellin' good!" :P :P :P
Delmonico walks up ta Trinity. Lookin' him over he gets the idea that Trinity just ate too much and is plugged up. "Come with me I can help." He then takes Trinity ta the blacksmith shop where he gets the big smith ta hold Trinity, grabbin' a funnel Delmonico pours a dose of castor oil down Trinity. "Sorry pard it was fer yer own good," he says as Trinity heads for that little building behind the blacksmith shop.
"If I'd taken ya ta the Doc he'd a given ya an ennerma."
Gopher Grease irdes into town, to find Delmonico and Trinity. Asking of the last week, he is told of Trinitys need of doctoring. He pull a bottle of Magneseum Sulfate, pours a spoon full down Trinity. Thinking to himself he wounders is this be the same china man he sold the one eared mule to the day before.
"See Trinity, I tolt ya Gopher Grease was a better Doc than I was." ::)
"Checked the Nuther Story thread, Slim will be here tammarrow, so get yer gear together, we is gonna build a ranch up on the Dismal River, up bout 20 miles from where it meets the North Loup. Don't let the name scare ya it's a nice place." :o ;D
Slim rides into Kearney and finds where the guys are. "I finally made it. It takes a while to ride a horse 450 miles."
That's why Gopher Grease and I ride mules, they gots more stammminnnan or somethin' like that.
Get down ta the courthouse and registar that brandin' irun Slim, that way it'll be legal and I won't have ta shoot the rope off yer neck from a half mile away like's I had ta do last time. :o
When ya get it registared we got's to get up ta the Dismal River and set up a rance. I got's 2000 longhorns comin' in next week ta stock it. I tolt them ta wait till next week cause you'd have ta go home this weekend and visit yer wife and 17 children. ;D
Oh by the way if'n ya google things up Slim, ya gonna find there be a Dismal River in Newbrasskey. ;)
Slim digs out his irun. "I am off to the courthouse. We can get something to eat after I get back. I shant be gone long." Slim meanders into the courthouse. He gets the brand registered and pays the fee. He walks back to the guys. "What we gonna have fer lunch?"
"Where abouts on the Dismal are we gonna setup this here cattle ranch? I looked at the survey maps while I was in the courthouse. That is one long river. It goes through four counties. What will do the closest town so I know where to go for supplies?"
Ya didn't look at all the old posts, bout 20 miles upstream from the forks of it and the North Loup. And it only runs through 1 county, ya googled up modern maps. It is all Chyeenneee County up thar. And ya gonna have to come ta Kearney or North Platte fer supplies. See town won't be fur. ;D
And what be the brand ya registared, I know it be in the Nuther Story thread but puts it here so we don't have ta keep goin' back and Firth. (yes Slim there be a Firth Newbrasskey) ;D ;D
So, Halsey or Dunning don't exist either? :o I guess North Platte is the closest town. Here is the brand you're ridin' fer.
Delmonico says, "Did ya notice that we gonna be ranchin' in the National Froyest, ya can have Pondarosa Pine ranch house just like Ben Cartwright, right?"
(http://biocycle.atmos.colostate.edu/~marek/archive/maps/dismal2.jpg)
Time to setup a sawmill.
Delmonico says ta Slim, "Google ya up a late 1870's map, this ain't Wissyconsion, that forest ain't there yet, it ain't been imported yet, the nearest pines are up on the Nyeebreara river, bout 60-70 miles North of us, sorry Slim, ya gotta live in a dugout." :P :P :P
QuoteForest reserves were established on the Dismal river in 1902 and millions of seedlings had been grown by 1906 for transplantation in Nebraska and other states of the Great Plains.
"A dugout! Is that the same thing as a soddy?"
Slim
Delmonico says ta Slim, "No it's just a hole in tha gound with a sod roof and front. go ta the Solomon Butcher collection I tolt ya about in tha CAS-City Hist. Society and search dugout then ya can post one fer the folks that be followin' this adventure." ;D ;D ;D
"Boy you folks from Wissyconsion gotta lot ta learn bout livin. on the prairie.' ::)
"By the way Slim, what be yer opinion on rattlesnakes?" :o :o
Quote from: Delmonico on September 22, 2004, 01:43:00 PM
Delmonico says ta Slim, "Google ya up a late 1870's map, this ain't Wissyconsion, that forest ain't there yet, it ain't been imported yet, the nearest pines are up on the Nyeebreara river, bout 60-70 miles North of us, sorry Slim, ya gotta live in a dugout." :P :P :P
How is 1873?
(http://www.antiquemapshop.com/inventory_pics//thumbs/R10045_tn1200.jpg)
Slim
"Good Slim," says Delmonico, ""Cept I Said North Loup river, that's wahat I get fer jist usin' my memry." "I do thunk in a bout 2-3 yars that unorganized tertory, becomes part of Cyennneee county, after the Lakota were puts on the Reservation."
"Hope no wanderin' one comes down and gets yer hair." ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on September 22, 2004, 02:11:50 PM
Delmonico says ta Slim, "No it's just a hole in tha gound with a sod roof and front. go ta the Solomon Butcher collection I tolt ya about in tha CAS-City Hist. Society and search dugout then ya can post one fer the folks that be followin' this adventure." ;D ;D ;D
"Boy you folks from Wissyconsion gotta lot ta learn bout livin. on the prairie.' ::)
"By the way Slim, what be yer opinion on rattlesnakes?" :o :o
Here is a dugout in NE.
(http://hoover.archives.gov/LIW/pioneering/images/dugout.jpg)
"Rattlesnake taste just like chicken." ;D
Slim
"No Lakota's gonna git my hair if I can help it." Slim takes a good hold of his hat. "We might as well head on up to the land on the Dismal and start digging a hole."
"Yep," says Delmonico, "Gopher Grease and Trinity can follow out tracks in the grass. I'll dispute ya though, rattlesnake tastes like rattlesnake, it don't taste like chicken." ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
"Must warn ya though, Gopher Grease is gonna bring a whole wagon load a shotgun shells with him, he don't like any kinda snake. He shoots garter snakes a half dozen times, bet he'd use a whole box on rattlers." :o
"I am not gonna pick shot outta no rattler so ya can cook it up. I shotgun a tree rat in the north woods with a 12 bore. I skinned it, saw all dem pellets in the hide, and throw it in da brush. I only shoot em with my trusty .22 rimfire, now."
"When Gopher Grease gets done there ain't no snake left. Y just gots ta put de pellets from the shotgun only in de head when shootin' them tree rats Slim. Thats what a ulways did."
But ya ain't gonna have ta worry bout that up there Slim, there ain't gonna be no trees. So be careful ya don't just trip inta the river, cause there ain't no trees of big banks ta mark it like in Wissyconsion. You gots a lot ta learn bout this country." ;D ;D ;D
(http://www.hprcc.unl.edu/nebraska/DSCN5746sm.jpg)
(http://members.tripod.com/~digdugdig/ot/dismal2.jpg)
"The Dismal River in central Nebraska."
"Whatcha call dem things, carrots?" :P
Trinity walks up and says:
:P :P "Whew fellers! Ever have it where it's comin out of all holes at once and not a bit of it is solid???? Ah think Ah'm feelin' better, but the combination of what Delmonico and Ghophergrease give me plum liquified everthing, includin mah bones! It took a while afore Ah could even stand up and walk! Now Ah'm hongry! Whars the food???
Say, slim, that river looks good, but Ah'm gonna hate roundup time!"
Russ T. Chambers comes ridin' through on his way back to Nevada Territory, and takes note of the vegetation. "Looks more like parsley to me! Maybe that's why Delmonico likes this area so much? Now that he has Slim in tow, he should cook him a little tongue. It might taste like chicken, or maybe rattlesnake?" Russ sets spur and rides off into the West.
Delmonico says, "Slim ya googled up a Tourism Board photo, that be upsteam bout 75 miles from our ranch, it ain't got no canyons down there! Near our ranch the banks are bout 12 inches high and in the future it will be one of the most dangrous rivers ta canoe. It be so smooth a water folks don't watch and can gets decapitated by a bob wire fence cross the river." :P :P :P
"They didn't have no bob wire fences cross the river in Deleverance did they,"
says Delmonico. :( ;D
"Squeal lak a peeg!" ;D
Trinity checks his Remmingtons what he took from a dead yankee and keeps a vigilant eye out. This doesn't sound good at all!
Suddenly the music of duelin' banjo's starts ta play, Trinity and Slim try ta find a place ta hide, but out in the sandhills of Newbrasskey there ain't no tree or rock ta hide behind. Delmonico says, "I ain't worried bout no hillbillies, theyed take a liken' ta Trinity, before me cause I got piles. :P :o ;D
"What I be worried about is that guy from Nevady that just passed by. I used ta work third shift and I know all bout those folks from Nevady cause I used ta listen ta Art Bell cause there ain't nothin' else on the radio that time a tha night." ;D
"Slim just so ya gots a place ta hide, why don't you and Trinity dig a hole in the side of that hill, we'll build it inta a dugout, kill to birds at once here." I'll ride up north and get us a ridge pole fer the roof up on the Nyebrara where they be trees. I won't be gone long and I'll just stay in this thread.
As the music fades, they hear someone say" Ya sur got a pudy mouth". At that time Gopher Grease Pulls up in a wagon loaded with a new shoting iron, got 8 barels and a crank on the side. He looks to the others and say" I don heard thar be snakes up thar and dont have to reload so often this way". ;D ;D
Trinity how be your scours need anuther spoon full?
Unaware of Gopher Grease's new snake killing shootin' irun, Delmonico reaches a creek runnin' inta the river also sometimes know as the Running Water. He cuts a long pine, and decides to name the creek after it, Long Pine Creek. Later settlers would name their town the same thing in honor of Delmonico's ridge pole. ;D
He then ties the pole to the back of his mule and heads back ta the ranch, laughin' to himself cause he knows Slim al' google up a map of present day Brown County just ta see if he be lyin'. ;D
(http://www.cityoflongpine.org/index.1.jpg)
Long Pine Creek
http://www.cityoflongpine.org/
;D
Slim
Upon seein' Slim's post of Long Pine Creek, Delmonico drops the ridge pole, heads back and cuts a willow pole. Findin' some fish line and a couple of small hooks he makes a fishin' pole, catches some grasshoppers and goes ta fishin'. ::)
Delmonico ain't been ta his favorite trout stream in many a year. Fresh fish fried in butter with the eyes lookin' at him sounds good. ;D
"Trinity, here's a shovel. Let's get ta digg'n that hole. Hopefully, Delmonico will bring back some trout, for lunch, along with that pole."
After a mornin' of catchin' nothin' but chubs, sucker and bullheads, Delmonico realizes that Brown and Rainbow trout are not native to sandhills streams and that the Newbrassky Fish Commision will not stock any till after the turn of the century. ;D ::)
Sadly he picks up his ridge pole and heads back to the ranch. He has a thought to satify his cravin' but the thought of cookin' a catfish out of the Dismal with it's head on sends shudders up and down his spine. ;) ;D
Slim goes out and shoots a couple rabbits, with his trusty .22RF, for lunch, since Delmonico is taking so long to get back with the fish. Slim dresses them out, builds a fire, and puts them on a spit to roast.
Delmonico rides inta camp with the ridge pole. He wonders why Slim has shot and is roastin' tough ol' jackrabbits when there are tender Prairie Chickens by the hundreds. ;D
"Them grass birds are no challenge. They move too slow. But, them Jacks give me a challenge." ;D
Delmonico says, "Ya can get sportin' after the ranch is done, we needs ta eat now. Give me a stick of that new-fangled dynomite, there is a nice little bend in the river bout a half mile down. I'm goin' fishin'." :o :o :o :o :o
BLAM!!!
As the smoke clears, the startled members of the camp see Trinity and his Remmington standing over a one-and-a-half toothed redneck... that is he was standing over a dead one-and-a-half toothed redneck. "This feller was makin funny faces at me an gettin mighty close! His friends took off an ran up that hill yoner. Looki, can any of you play the banjer?
Gophergrease... no, Ah don need no more of your spoons, but Ah sure would like to fire that gun of yours. Less prop this here feller up agin' that tree an see if we can cut him in half! Too brutal? Well, ok, Ahll look fer some snakes.
Say, Slim? Hows that Hasenpfeffer comin' along? Ah need to eat afore I can start workin' on diggin' that hole. Actually, I need a drink too! Who's got a bottle?"
Durn you Trinity, that tree is my ridge pole, I just rode 150 miles round trip ta get it . Don't be shootin' in up or we'll take ya back ta Kearney and have that Doc give ya that Tabasco Sauce ennnerrrmmma. ;D :P
:o "Alright, alright, Delmnico, Ah ain' gonna shoot that feller no more. Ah don' even wanna hear the word Tabasco ever again! :o :P :-[ :'( Mebbe we can set up a shootin' gallery fer the other rednecks ifn they come back. ;D ;D
As Gopher Grease gets done cleaning his new toy, shoots real fast but gets real nasty dirty. Hey Trinity, shouldnt you get started dign a hole for a outhouse. We dont need that stuff stating to pile up round here.
An explosion echoed up the canyon, Delmonico returns with several large catfish. "We can have fried catfish fer supper. Gopher Grease is gonna have ta either eat Slim's overcooked jackrabbit or find shoot or catch somethin' else, sine he don't like fish." :P
Hey Gopher Grease, ya could catch that rattlesnake over by Slim's bedroll." :o ;D
When the noise and smoke from 200 rounds of 45-70 rounds were done, Delmonico walks over and picks up the remains of Slim's reeeata, "woops I made a little mistake, guess it wern't a snake after all." "Wow, that sooogun is a mess, where is Slim gonna sleep now." ;D ;D ;D
"Oh well, I guess yer gonna have ta clean that thing again." ;D ;D ;D
"Ya know guys, if we're gonna stay around here, we got ta get some trees planted, not havin' a tree around for 30 miles is gonna be hard on a dog if'n we decide ta get one. Besides that we gonna have a bunch a junk sooner er later, what is a farmer or rancher gonna do with out trees ta pile the junk around." :o :o
"First we need ta get that outhouse built though, cause we gonna come out in the mornin' and there gonna be no tree ta go behind ta poop." ;D ;) ;D :o ::) :P
"Alright, who shot up my bedroll? >:( Catfish sounds alot better then tough Jack. After we eat the catfish, I will start digging a hole for the privy." "Delmonico, what material are we gonna use to make the privy?"
Sod. ;D
If ya look, Gopher Grease brought a grasshopper plow, hitch te wagon team to it and cut the strips with a spade. Cut extra for the front of the dugout.
"This ranch work is sounding harder than rounding up stray cowhands." ::)
(http://www.beatricene.com/homestead/plow.gif)
QuotePrairie Palaces of Nebraska Marble Family in front of Soddie
Homesteaders in the eastern prairie could burrow into hillsides before wooden cabins were built. Newcomers to the flat, treeless grasslands farther west found a durable building material beneath their feet. Buffalo grass was short and tough with a dense tangle of roots; it held its shape when cut. Using a special plow, one could shave enough sod from half an acre of prairie for a 16 by 20-foot house. The sod strips were cut about a foot wide and 4 inches deep, then sliced crosswise into 3-foot slabs. Slabs were laid grass-side-down in double courses and secured with four corner poles. Frames reserved openings for doors and windows. A sturdy ridgepole was laid across forked upright posts. Branches formed rafters on which more sod was laid - grass side up.
Certain advantages kept owners in their homes of "Nebraska Marble" long after lumber was available for housing. Soddies were inexpensive, quick to build, well insulated, tornado-proof and did not burn. On the other hand, they needed constant repair, especially after rainstorms when the roofs dropped dirt, water and sometimes snakes. No wonder pioneer Carrie Lassel Detrick's mother "gave way to the only fit of weeping I ever remember seeing her indulge in," when she first arrived in Kansas and saw the sod house her husband had built. Soddies remained a marvel to easterners. As Mark Twain noted in Roughing It, "It was the first time we had ever seen a man's front yard on top of his house."
*whisper on* "Don't tell Gopher Grease about that snake part or we might have a well ventilated roof." ;) *whisper off*
QuoteUnwanted creatures were always a problem, as lamented by one anonymous homesteader in this poem:
How happy am I when I crawl into bed;
A rattlesnake hisses a tune at my head!
A gay little centipede, all without fear,
Crawls over my pillow and into my ear!
"Don't worry, we'll get it ready this weekend while yer home with yer wife and 17 kids. I'll stay here and help and not go wanderin' off inta other threads." ;D ::)
Oh the hinges are of leather,
and the windows have no glass,
and the north wall lets the howlin blizzard in.
But I'm happy as a clam
here on the land of Uncle Sam
in my little old sod shanty on the plain.
(No google just memory, my friend Roger Welsh sings that. Remember Postcards from Neabraska with him and Charles Karult?)
:Any way I got an idea bout Gopher Grease and the snakes. But don't tell him."
Mum's the word. :-X ;D
"Hey Slim can ya take the wagon back home to Wissyconsion this weekend? Get use a load of 1X6 boards and we can make a roof that won't leak.....much." ;D
"Ya want shiplap boards?"
Just anything dry and seasoned, that greencottonwood curls up as it dries. A couple a rolls a tarpaper would hel also.
Delmonico grumbles somethin' bout Wissyconsion folks and their durn lumber, somethin' bout havin' ta cut down trees and grub stumps just ta plant a little corn.
"I bets Slim don't know Wissyconsion imports lumber from Newbrasskey."
(true thing)
"Okay, a load of lumber, tar paper, nails, etc." Slim hitches the team to the wagon and heads northeast. "See y'all Monday morn."
And Slim rides away, away from the sunset. Any hero in a Western novel would ride inta the sunset. Course this would blind them and they might wreak the wagon, so maybe Slim is smarter than the hero in a westen novel, but yet would Tom Mix or Hoot Gibson go home on the weekend ta vist his wife and 17 children. ;D
After a day of digging and constructing a new outhouse (alone! because no one came to help) Trinity walks back to camp. "That's OK" Trinity says to himself "Them snakes gonna make fer a good scare fer the first person to answer natures call, hee-hee"
Trinity nears the camp and shouts: "Hey Delmonico, I got me a powerful hunger. Was fer dinner???"
"Well Slim went home fer the weekend, but I found a stray and butchered. Brought some extry wood back from up north, gonna be lazy and just grill and throw some taters in the fire ta bake. How bout a inch and a half thick porterhuse sound."
"Well, if that's ALL ya got, then Ah guess Ah'll have to make due. Heck are ya kidding. Ah don like none of the other froo froo stuff. Jest MEAT and potatoes for me! MMMMM, MM! Mah mouth is already watering!"
Trinity goes to his saddle bag and retrieves a bottle of whiskey and a sack of roasted coffee beans. "Ya thirsty, Delmonico?"
"I'll get the water fer the coffee, till the herd gets here, we can get water anywhere." ;D
After being gone all day, Delmonico comes back to the scene of the crime, er ranch and discovers that it looks like no one has been around all day. ;D
Raising the tongue of the wagon straight up, he ties it fast to the wagon and tosses a rope over and uses it ta raise a lantern. In the cool of the night he starts to dig the dugout.
Through the power of teleportation, which has not yet been developed, Trinity returnes with a very full belly of both beer and NC style BBQ. "Hey, Delmononoiker. Wass hsappenong? I had some good foo annd spirits today, too bad you weren't there.
How'sh the dugout coming along?? Ah need some place ta shleep."
Ridein in early in the mornin Gopher Grease tries to be quiet as he can. Slips into the outhouse Trinity has dug, finding it full of ten snakes. He hurrys to Demonico's fishing supply grab 5 sticks and throws them in the privy. As the fuse is burning he opens up with a buch of 45-70.
:o :o :o :o :o :o :o ;D ;D ;D :o :o :o :o :o :o
Sorry Trinity, but them snakes had to be gotten out of there some how.
I'll start building a nuther soon as slim gits back with the lumber. In the mean time lets go to town for a nuther case of that dinomite stuff. shuold make diging a dugout a bit faster. ;)
Delmonico rolls over in his soogun and goes back to sleep! He's wonderin how big a hole those two are gonna end up blastin' in the sandy soil. Gonna take more time ta cover the blast hole than ta dig a proper whole in the soft sand. ::)
Decidin' not ta wait fer Slim's boards, Delmonico runs down ta Kearney anf get's some boards, digs a whole, works real hard and finishes the dugout in the afternoon. A passin' photographer takes his picture sittin' in front of it.
hearing of the passing photo man, Gopher Grease wonders if delmonico had any Watermelon for him to take pichers of.
??? ??? ??? ;D ;)
Slim arrives with the wagonload of lumber, tar paper, shingles, nail, and seedlings (oak, maple, pine, etc.) "Morning boys. How was the weekend? I brought a bunch of tree seedlings so we can have some shade 'round here in 'bout 20 years."
"Well Slim. get em planted then, hows the wife and 18 kids doin?"
Just then a wagon pulls up and a fella gets out with a package. "Here I got this developed fer ya, came out good."
http://memory.loc.gov/cgi-bin/displayPhoto.pl?path=/award/nbhips/lca/102&topImages=10216r.jpg&topLinks=10216v.jpg&displayProfile=0&title=%22My%20first%20house%20in%20Nebraska,%201880.%20%20Built%20from%20'Nebraska%20brick'.%22&m856s=$dnbhips$f10216&dir=ammem&itemLink=D?psbib:6:./temp/~ammem_TGNT:
With that he heads off.
"Gopher Grease is right. we need some watermelons." Delmonico hitches up the team and heads to the South Loup River in search of water melons.
"The wife and kids are well. I will start planting the trees after I get some grub. Is there anything round here ta eat?"
"Nice picture there, Delmonico. Ya kinda look like a dude." ;D
(http://memory.loc.gov/award/nbhips/lca/102/10216r.jpg)
I kinda look like Solomon Butcher don't I? ;D
Just a little. ;)
(http://www.nebraskahistory.org/images/lib-arch/research/photos/716fss.jpg)
"Well off ta find watermelons, I done studied Solomons collection and we need watermelon."
Hours later Delmonico returns with several watermelons. "I told ya there would be watermelons if'n I could find some sodbusters."
http://memory.loc.gov/cgi-bin/displayPhoto.pl?path=/award/nbhips/lca/107&topImages=10707r.jpg&topLinks=10707v.jpg&displayProfile=0&title=The%20Garness%20family,%20Dry%20Valley,%20Custer%20County,%20Nebraska.&m856s=$dnbhips$f10707&dir=ammem&itemLink=D?psbib:2:./temp/~ammem_04H8:
"Whew that be a mouthful, wish I had enough pewter power ta post the picture. Bet Slim al do it fer me if'n I do this stuff."
"Saw some other homesteaders, but I ain't buyin' no melons from folks that keep the milk cow on the roof."
http://memory.loc.gov/cgi-bin/displayPhoto.pl?path=/award/nbhips/lca/106&topImages=10600r.jpg&topLinks=10600v.jpg&displayProfile=0&title=Sylvester%20Rawding%20family%20sod%20house,%20north%20of%20Sargent,%20Custer%20County,%20Nebraska.&m856s=$dnbhips$f10600&dir=ammem&itemLink=D?psbib:25:./temp/~ammem_04H8:
"Watermelons and cantaloupes (hint, hint) should grow well in the sandhills if they are irrigated."
:o "Those are some big melons!"
(http://memory.loc.gov/award/nbhips/lca/107/10707r.jpg)
"I would make sure ta have a fence ta keep that beef off the roof. I don't want no beef crashing trough the roof in the middle of my sleep."
(http://memory.loc.gov/award/nbhips/lca/106/10600r.jpg)
"Ya been fooled Slim, the cow be on the hillside tied down. Now get me big buther knife out we gonna have melon."
"Here ya go."
(http://www.partylounge.com/Merchant2/graphics/weapons/0017034128.jpg)
"Durn fools from the land-o-cheese, ;) that be a French Chef knife, I wanted my Sheffield butcher knife. Google me up one a douse." ;D ;D ::)
"Is dis betta?"
(http://photos.liveauctioneers.com/houses/historicamericana/1000/0658_1_lg.jpg)
"Dat's it, lloks just like mine, cept mine has darker wood on da handle and don't have no sheaf cause I use it in da kitchen." And with one fell swoop Delmonico cuts the mighty Black Diamond watermelon from the South Loup river. It is at the perfection of ripeness and splits open with just a slight thrust of the knife.
"Here Slim, ya may have good cheese in Wissyconsion, but there ain't no better watermelon in the world than the Black Diamonds that grow in the sandy soil near the South Loup river in Newbrasky."
"Thanks, Delmonico. We should keep some seeds so we can plant some next year." Slim takes a bite of the red flesh. "Wow. Dis is da bes mewin I evo tathid."
"Eat all ya want now, but none fer ya after 7;30, don't want ya ta be wettin' yer bedroll in the night."
:o :o ::) ;D ;D ;D ;D :P :P
"Okay, Dad." :P
"Where are we on building the privy?"
"Trinity finished it a couple of days ago, but he left a couple of snakes in it and Gopher Grease blowed it up cause he don't like snakes. We'll have ta get another one build, but quick cause our herd should be here soon." ::)
"When ya dig a pit in this sand, how does ya keep the sand from caving in?"
"Ya pee in the hole to keep the sand moist" yells Trinity from his bed.
Trinity yawns big and proclaims "Boy was that a good nap, Ah'm so hongry, Ah feel like Ah can eat a cow." Trinity grabs his '73 and looks for the cow on the roof everyone's been talkin about when he sees the job Gophergrease did on his outhouse. " :o :oWhat in tarnation happened here? Well, Ah can see that don' nobody like a good joke!" Now Ah guess Ah gotta go where Ah been goin all along... that medder with them funny green balls what bleed. Oh, look, Slim's eating on one of 'em now." 8)
"Durn it Trinity, ya just digs a shallow hole so it don't collapeses, just move the thing once in a while." ;D
After clickin' his mouse ta post that, Delmonico remembers ya can't just pick up a sod outhouse and move it. ::) ::) ::) ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on September 27, 2004, 09:04:22 PM
After clickin' his mouse ta post that, Delmonico remembers ya can't just pick up a sod outhouse and move it. ::) ::) ::) ;D
That is why Slim got extra lumber, to build a wood privy. Slim finishes digging the privy hole and starts building the
wood privy.
"Well since ya brought so much lumber, did ya bring any of that ship lap boards," says Delmonico as he fights ta keep his finger from typin' a t stead of a p. ;D
"If'n we could dig a really deep hole that would not cave in we could get a load a bricks ta build it." ;D
"Yep, got a bunch of dem shiplap boards. I can't dig very deep in this sand 'fore it caves in." Slim's wife and 19 kids live in what is referred to as Wash-a-sand county. ;D
It's only 18 kids this week, won't be 19 till next week. ;D ;D :o ::)
Oh yeah, it isn't born yet. ;D
Go back to the beginning of these threads, every time ya go home for the weekend I add another on. I'm keepin track. I know that impossible time wise, but this is a cyber-story so it don't matter. ;D
Okay, I got it now.
Slim finishes building the privy. He starts working on the dugout house to finish it before the beeves arrive. "When are the beeves supposed to arrive so I can start branding." ;D
"I just checked, there south of here on the South Loup River. Here's the link, go get them. I gout us white faces, the bring more on the market."
http://memory.loc.gov/cgi-bin/displayPhoto.pl?path=/award/nbhips/lca/121&topImages=12120r.jpg&topLinks=12120v.jpg&displayProfile=0&title=Cattle%20on%20the%20Josh%20Wood%20Ranch%20on%20the%20South%20Loup%20River,%20Custer%20County,%20Nebraska.&m856s=$dnbhips$f12120&dir=ammem&itemLink=D?psbib:40:./temp/~ammem_bKVJ:
(http://memory.loc.gov/award/nbhips/lca/121/12120r.jpg)
"Were these white faces sired from Anxiety 4?"
"Na we're raisin' steaks, not foo foo show cattle." ;D
"We gonna have ta run some fences ta keep the cattle from strayin'. Slim ya gonna have ta get us some bob' wiiire." :o
Trinity takes a good look at the cattle and says to Delmonico: "Boy, don't them start mah stomach to growlin'! Got any good tenderloin recipes, Delmonico?? If you make up a good tenderloin, Ah'll go and put up the posts fer the bob war!"
"Ya mean prime rib, ribeye steak as a roast, same thin' as the hump roast from the "South of Dodge " thread."
"Ok I'll make it in the dutch oven but I'll write it so the folks that be follin' this mess can do it at home."
Dry Rub
7 parts kosher salt
5 parts brown sugar
1 part ground mustard
Coat the roast well with the rub 24 hours before cookin', keep in cool place, perheat the oven to 500 degrees. Put roast in a big iron skillet and put in oven, let sear about 10 minutes, reduce heat to 350 degrees, let cook about 20 minutes a pound and then start checkin' with meat thermometor, remove when 10 degrees from desired doneness and let sit in skillet for 10 minutes. remove to cool and set up, make gravy or some fancy soundin' French sauce with the drippin's.
"Now Trinity, start settin, the posts, we need a 5 square mile pasture, let's see 4X5 = 20, yep 20 miles of posts, I've done got the roast rubbed, it'll be done by supper. Now git ta settin posts?" ;D
"Ain't this open range country. We don't need no stinkin' bob wire! Besides where would ya get posts with no trees out here."
Ya ship em in, we gets some of them folks down in southeast Newbrasskey and eastern Kansas ta ship some up, they raise them las a crop like corn. They be hedge, boodarc, Bois de Arc,
Maclura pomifera or as most call them Osage Orange, google us up some imfo Slim.
This is govermint land Slim, if we don't fence it in we'll have nesters all over out pastures and hayfiels, you didn't think we owned all this land?
(http://kaweahoaks.com/html/osage_orange.jpg)
"Squatters! I better send for posts then."
"I know makin' fence ain't rocket science but we do need at least on person with a PHD on the crew."
Send for a couple of post hole diggers. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
"Okay, now, we need 316,800 feet of wire, 2 post hole diggers, a fence stretcher, couple hammers,... How far apart can we put the posts?"
"A rod between each one is considered normal," saiys Delmonico who was right, but double checked with his Dad whos said that's what Grandpa always said and did.
Delmonico wonders if the fellow from Wissyconsion will go out and try ta find a modified 1932 Ford Coupe ta measure ta find out how far a rod is in distance, or will he google it or will he know? ;D
"A rod is 16.5 feet. I already knewd that. So, that makes 6400 posts. Probably should get 50 extra. We need 19,350 staples. Did I forget anything?"
"Ya can save time if'n ya send back ta Pennysvania and buy up a bunch a them dry wells they used ta get that peetolum stuff out of, ya just saw then inta shorter lenths and use them." ;D ;D ::)
???
Ok, a groaner, not funny, never mentioned again. :-X What pattern a wire ya gonna use, remmber there is buches a type now. Google up the barb wire museum web site and decide Slim, I leave the choice up ta you. ;D
Never mind I just happen ta have the link. ;D
www.barbwiremuseum.com
The gots a history of cattle brands section also fer ya Slim.
Wanders on by and gives an eavesdrop:
"Cri- min-y, Gents, sixteen feet between each post?? Better have something to hold that wire taut as you attach it or it will sag worse than my grandmother's... well, you knows. Eight feet means less pulling, but then you'll need double the posts and double the holes."
AnnieLee
(http://www.barbwiremuseum.com/images/567b.gif)
"Jayne & Hill Locked Staples Around One
Two twisted strand wire with four point barb on one strand. One leg of barb straddles other strand. Variation of Patent #176,120, April 11, 1876 by William H. Jayne & James H. Hill of Boone, Iowa"
"I guess this one will do the trick."
"Looks good, often it is said that folks chose wire different from their neighbor so if'n ya got lost in a blizzard out in the open, ya could tell which fence it was by the pattern of the wire." ;D
"Now if Trinity would show up we need holes dug."
Delmonico and Slim, impatient, ride out to see what's holding Trinity up. As they reach the first post erected by Trinity (and the only post errected by Trinity... [...FENCE POST!!!]) they find him asleep against the post, which wasn't even straight. Amazed that Trinity can sleep for over 24 hours, they each give Trinity a swift kick.
"OOWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!! Now, why'd ya have to go and do that??" They brought Trinity up to date, but he was hung up on Annie's comments: "It has been a while since that last trip to the wagons, even thems that hang plumb down to the ground would be nice!! ...But then again, that visit by the doc weren't nice 'tall."
Trinity put thoughts of the flesh out of his mind (well, mostly) and focused on the job at hand. "Jest how do we 'spect to do all this work ourselves??? We need some help. Slim, when you fetch the bob-war, kin ya fetch some helpers???"
"Well every one else can come ta supper and have prime rib, Trinity don't get none cause he said if'n I made prime rib he'd have the holes dug and the posts set by supper time."
Delmonico figgers Trinity will no get them done, but since this is a cyberstory he thinks Trinity would be smart enough to say it's done, so he can have some cyberprime rib with the mustard rub on it. ::)
Besides that when it is done there is some 12 year, no wait 18 year old cyber sourmash he can have and it don't have nothin' in the bottle ta make him puke er poop. :o ;D
Slim hitches the team to the wagon and goes to town for the wire, posts, staples, hammers, fence stretcher, and post hole diggers. "I will see if I can find some fellers in town to help us with the fence. I'll be back soon."
AnnieLee poofs back in like some kind of frumpy fairy godmother.
"Don't forget more leather gloves, Slim, you'll be needing them!"
She turns and swipes a loaf of bread, then poofs back out with a glittering of sawdust.
AnnieLee
"Real men don't wear gloves. Since there are no real men 'round here, I'll get a dozen pair." ;D
A scruffy looking yellow dog meanders into the camp. He roves around a bit, sniffing at the bedrolls. So lean his ribs are showing, he gets a perplexed look, and ranges further out. After a few minutes, he trots back, now fully frustrated. With a sheepish look to Trinity, he raises his leg on a wagon wheel.
Much relieved he gives Delmonico his best "feed me?" look.
Delmonico looks at the yallar dog, and gives it some bread, cause if it's a yallar dog it's gonna ba a Lab (not lap) dog and any Lab dog Delmonico's ever seen likes bread, Delmonico's Lab he used ta have even tried bakin' bread a couple of times. (Flour all over the house. :o) Besides that when the fence is done Slim can take that 10 ga he's talked about in the Longbranch and TFS and shoot us some ducks and geese, Delmonico can cook Czech food and he likes duck, kraut and dumplin's. Delmonico hollors at Slim while he's leavin" "Get some cabbage so I can make kraut, get some potatoes, some rye flour, caraway seed, some prunees or poppy seed or both. Ya might see if'n ya can find some Bohunks (slang for Czech folks from Bohemia, a region in Czechasovakia) ta build fence.
Mutterin' to himself Delmonico wonders what he did with his potatoe ricer.
"Okay, I will see if the Dry Goods store has that stuff. Them Bohunk's any good at building fence?"
"They be some of the best farm workers ever, Delmonico has many Bohunk Farmer friends, that's how he learned ta cook Czech food. I ain't a real bohunk, but I be a honorary Czech and ya don't get that from stayin' in a Holiday Inn last night." ::)
And all I know use the term Bohunk, just smile when ya says it. ;D
The yellow dog snarfs up the bread, licking up all the leftover crumbs. He gives the departing Slim a tilt of the head "you should have googled Bohunk" look, then hunts up some shade to lay in.
Slim arrives in North Platte. Orders the wire, fence posts fence stretcher, staples, hammers, and post hole diggers form the Hardware store. Gets the stuff that Delmonico wants at the Dry Goods store. Goes to the Livery to rent a couple teams and wagons. Goes to the saloon to see if there are any Bohunk who might want to hire on to make fence. He finds 4 Bohunks in the saloon that he hires on. He and the Bohunks take the wagons to the hardware, load the wagons, and head for the ranch.
While Slim and the Bohunks were leaving town. An interesting character rode in.
(http://www.pbs.org/weta/thewest/people/images/buffalobill.jpg)
"It's Terry Lane." :o ;D
(http://www.theindependent.com/photos/090103/shoot1.jpg)
Quote"Joe "M.T. Brass" Krumbach, of Osceola (left) waits for his turn at the eighth stage of the Nebraska State Championship of Cowboy Action Shooting at the Grand Island Rifle Club. "Terry Lane" Fitzgerald (center), of Lincoln, loads his pistols under the supervision of official Mike "Clearwater Kid" Carlson of Delta Junction, Ala."
Good job Slim, but ya fergot ta mention that Terry is also the offical Newbrasskey State "Buffalo Bill." ;)
After tearin' up the cook camp, Delmonico realizes the left his potato ricer in the 24 mule team chuckwagon back in the Nuther Story thread. He writes a note dat says: Went to get potato ricer, be back by supper time, if ya get back heat up some beans in the can, poke a hole it the can first and use a glove ta remove it. :o
Delmonico then saddles his mule and rides it ta Maxwell, buys a ticket on the Westbound UP and passes inta the "Nuther Story" thread. ;D
Sensing the commotion, the yellow dog perks his ears and follows after Delmonico.
Slim and the Bohunks arrive in camp with the wagons. Slim reads Delmonicos note. "What is so blasted special 'bout dat tater ricer dat he has to go back to Tejas fer it.?" *Shakes head* "Well, boys, we might as well start make fence since we ain't gonna et nothin' but beans." So, Slim and the boys start making fence.
Peekin' inta the Newbrasskey thread, Delmonico realizes that Slim is loosin' his bearings and needs ta google a map, cause Hangin' Woman Creek is in Whyomin". ;D
He also wonders why the fellow of German decent from Wissyconsion don't know nothin' bout tater dumplin's, cause thats German food also. ::)
And the yallar dog sits patiently by the train depot in Maxwell waitin' for Delmonico's return. ;D
The yellow dog is starting to look a tad forlorn because AnnieLee, the frumpy fairy godmother, is packing to head out to the Northeast Regional to shoot. He shivers a little, thinking that while she's away, he be left sitting there like a lump of pixels.
Delmonico said the Bohunks were "some of the best farm workers ever". Slim was amazed at how fast they worked at digging and setting the posts. They were done with the 20 miles of posts by sundown. "Pards, lets call yer a day, go get some grub, and hit the hay early so we can start stringing wire at sunrise."
The train pulled inta Maxwell a little after dark. Delmonico gets his mule from the "Horse and Mule" livary stable and him and the Yaller dog head back ta the ranch in the dark. ;D
Slim gets up before light and has Delmonico rustle up some grub for the hands. He wakes the Bohunks for breakfast. After they eat, they go to string the wire on the posts. "Delmonico, we will be back fer lunch at noon. See ya then."
Delmonico has told the hands that the good meal will be supper, cause good food takes time.
As he prepares a surprise fer supper, he makes sourdough biscuits, beans with bacon and fried beef steaks thats been pounded and floured. The 4 Basic B's of cowboy food. ;D
Slim and the hands come into camp for lunch. "Delmonico, what's fer lunch? We worked up a big hunger. By the by, we'z 'bout haf dun stringin' the wire."
Cowboy food, but we gonna have Czech food ta night, to bad yer headin' home ta see the Misses Slim and the 18 kids, ya'll miss a good feed. ;D
By the way, Cowboys eat Dinner and Supper, not Loooonch and Diiiinnner. >:( ::)
"Okay, Dinner and Supper. I will be eating Supper here 'fore my trip else the wolves might hear my stomach growling and come after me. Well, thanks for dinner. We need to get back to the fence so'z we can finish it 'fore sundown." Slim and the hands go back to working on the fence.
Before ya go, there's sumone I want's ya ta meet, I hired him ta wrangle da horses. He's from Texas and his name is Joe. He's kinda little, but I likes him. We'll call him "Little Joe the Wrangler." ;D
http://memory.loc.gov/cgi-bin/displayPhoto.pl?path=/award/nbhips/lca/126&topImages=12637r.jpg&topLinks=12637v.jpg&displayProfile=0&title=Charley%20Meeks,%20Cowboy.&m856s=$dnbhips$f12637&dir=ammem&itemLink=D?psbib:13:./temp/~ammem_6mYJ::
You'll have ta bring him up Slim, my pooter only has enough power ta do this. ;D ::)
By da way, Joe is his travelin' name, his real name is Charley Meeks, but he don't want no one but us ta know it. ;D ;D ;D
(http://memory.loc.gov/award/nbhips/lca/126/12637r.jpg)
"Welcome to the ranch, Little Joe."
"Delmonico, have we named this ranch yet?"
Ya did notice I found us a "Litlle Joe the Wrangler" that has got broogans on his feet? ;D
Don't guess we have, ya got a good one.
Supper at 5, we gonna have pork and kraut with tater dumplin's, that da kind with onions browned, caraway seed and brown sugar ta take 'way the bite. We havin' sourdough rye bread and kolatch fer dessert, both prune and poppy seed. ;D
Now don't make yerself a fool in front of our crew, if ya want more than one kolatch, ask fer kolatchi, never kolatchi's or they gonna cut yer tongue out fer usein' a double plural. :o
Also before ya head home if ya have lolatchi and they be prune, take some pages from the Sears and Roebuck catalog with ya, don't want ya ta have no accident on the way home. ;D
Oh if I'm not here at 5, ya all help yerselves ta supper, I might be busy. ;D :o :o ::) ::) ;D ;D :P :-X :o :o ::) ??? ??? ??? :-X :-X :-X ::) >:( ;D ;D ;) ;) ;) ;)
Litle Joe the Wrangler (not Cartwright) rides in from tendin' the horse's and whispers somethin' ta Delmonico. Delmonico then sets some coals on an oven, the pork dish will be warm for a couple of hours. The bread and the kolatchi are on platers covered with dish towels. Delmonico writes a note fer Slim.
"Let me know when ya leave fer the weekend Slim. Think of a name fer the ranch if'n ya can. There somethin' goin' on I got ta check out. Joe spotted somethin' from a hill, I'll check it out, nuthin' ta worry about."
With that Joe and Delmonico ride south at a gallop, right after Delmonico puts his Sharps in the scabbard and hands Joe a Winchester. :o ??? ::)
Slim looks off to the west. "There looks like a thunder storm is gonna be rollin' in soon. We had better pick up the pace."
Delmonico and Joe ride on south. From the tops of the hills they see a surry comin' taward them. As they get closer they can see it has a fringe on top.
" when i take you out tonight with me, honey, here's the way it's gonna be,
you will sit behind a team of snow-white horses in the slickest gig you'll ever see.
chicks and ducks and geese better scurry when i take you out in the surrey,
when i take you out in the surrey with the fringe on top.
watch that fringe and see how it flutters when i drive them high steppin' strutters,
nosy folks will peep through the shutters and their eyes will pop.
those wheels are yellow, the upholstery's brown, the dashboard's genuine leather.
with nice bright curtains that can roll right down in case there's a change in the weather.
two bright side lights winking and blinkin, ain't no finer rig i'm a-thinking,
you can keep your rig if you're thinking that i care to swap
for that shiny little surrey with the fringe on the top.
(would you say the fringe was made of silk?) wouldn't have no other kind but silk.
(has it really got a team of snow-white horses?)
one's like snow, the others more like milk (so you can tell `em apart)
all the world would fly in a flurry, when i take you out in the surrey,
when i take you out in the surrey with the fringe on top.
when we hit that road hell for leather, cats and dogs all dance in the heather.
birds and frogs will sing all together and the toads will hop.
the wind will whistle as we rattle along, the cows will moo in the clover
the river will ripple out a whispered song, and whisper it over and over.
don't you wish you'd go on forever, don't wish you'd go on forever,
don't you wish you'd go on forever and would never stop
in that shiny little surrey with fringe on the top"
;D
Slim and the hands come in from completing the fence. Slim finds the note that Delmonico left. "Guys, the grub is the the dutch oven in the fire. The bread and the kolatchi are under those dish towels. Go ahead and eat." Just then the thunder storm hits with a gulley washer.
Delmonico and Little Joe watch the small but violent thunderstorm that this region is famous for. "We're lucky Joe, it passed North of us, bet it hit the ranch hard." ;D
"Nother mile or so we'll know who's in the surry, lucky the storm didn't catch them, looks like there's a man and a woman and a bunch of kids in it." ???
Brazos Bucky Smith, on his mouse colored little mustang, rides up out of a wash that is quickly filling with water from the storm.
"Well, howdy Slim! Howdy ma'am, you must be Slim's Mrs.. with all them kids I would expect that to be the case! Can sure see what Ol' Slim does go'un home every weekend like he does. And, Slim that is a right nice voice ya got there! Makes me want to head on over to Oklahoma and see if I can look up that Gorden McCree feller. You know in about fifty years he is go'un to make a Movie picture with that song in it. I'll be mossy'un along now, its been right nice see'un you folks. Give my best to Delmonico!"
With that Brazos turns his mount south, gives him a light spur, the mouse colored horse gives a little buck and settles into a lope.
The lady in the surry is Slim's wife and seven of Slim's children. (The other eleven are back in Wissyconsion milkin' the cows and makin' butter and cheese.) But she is puzzled by the, "why Slim goes home on the weekend comment." ???
Delmonico rides up and reconizes Slim's wife from the tintype in his saddle bags, the driver of the surry is the livery fellow from Maxwell, the guy that put up Delmonico's mule while he fetched his potato ricer.
Introducin' himself ta Mrs. Slim, Delmonico says well Slim is gonna get a surprise when he gets home this weekend. :o He is so fond of seein' ya, that's why he goes home every weekend. :)
Mrs. Slim is clearly upset by now, and she says, "That explains the fellow on the mouse colored horse and his comment. Slim ain't been back ta the farm in Wissyconsion for 6 months." :o
Delmonico says, "wa'll thats what he's been tellin' us, I didn't think he was such a low down scounderal. Don't worry he'll be back a little after sunup on Monday, we'll find out what is goin' on here."
Delmonico, Little Joe and the surry arrive back in camp, course in this unique part of the world the water has all soaked inta the sandy soil in inta the aquweeefer. In fact a little dust is blowin'. ::)
Delmonico explains what is goin' on ta the fench crew, "we'll get ta the bottom of it on Monday, I've already asked Mrs. Slim, she don't want him hung, but she does think maybe a floggin' might be in order." :o
"Well fer now lets put up my big wall tent, Mrs. Slim will have more room and be more comfertable in that. Beside that Trinity is still sleepin' off his last drunk in their. Which reminds me, has anyone checked in the last couple a days ta see if'n he's still breathin". :P :o
When the tent was up Mrs. Slim and the seven kids put their gear in it and sent the surry back ta Maxwell." And with Slim off ta parts unknown you'll just have ta click on this link, if'n ya want ta see the picture of Slim's wife and seven of his kids. (Unless ya want ta make it work.) ;D ;D
http://memory.loc.gov/cgi-bin/displayPhoto.pl?path=/award/nbhips/lca/132&topImages=13261r.jpg&topLinks=13261v.jpg&displayProfile=0&title=D.%20Dunn%20just%20landed%20on%20his%20claim%20in%20Custer%20County.&m856s=$dnbhips$f13261&dir=ammem&itemLink=D?psbib:19:./temp/~ammem_XsCz::
(Snicker, snicker: Let's see Slim wiggle his way out of this come Monday mornin'.)
Since Slim and the fence crew got done yesterday, taday is spent just hangin' round camp. Delmonico has asked the fence crew ta stay and help brand next week when Slim gets back and if his wife don't kill him. ;D
No matter the cattle will have to be branded, no matter what happens to Slim when his wife gets her hands on him. ;D ;D
Because it is gettin' a bit cooler in the evenin's, Mrs Slim asks Delmonico if he can put her canary's cage in the dugout, since it is a bit warmer than the wall tent. (ya did notice the canary cage on the top of the wall tent ridge pole didn't ya?) ;)
Delmonico don't think it is such a good idea, since Trinity is still sleepin' in there, :P but she insists. Delmonico rolls his bedroll out on the floor of the dugout cause the ground is a bit cold outside.
Long before sunrise Delmonico hears a rumbin' noise over near the corner Trinity is sleepin' in. A small thunk noise is heard from the canary cage. Delmonico grabs his bedroll and heads outside in a hurry. He used ta work in a coal mine and knows when the canary falls over in it's cage, there is danger near. :o ;D ;D ::) :o :P
After spendin' the day fishin' in the Dismal river, Delmonico makes fried catfish fer supper. It has been a quiet day, as he rolls his soogun out under the stars, he thinks it gonna be fireworks in the Mornin' when Slim shows up and has ta 'splain to his wife as to his where 'bouts on the weekends. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
As he lays back with his head uncovered the fire is almost died out, the lanterns are out and the view of the stars is wonderful, a coyote howls of to the west. A loon calls down on the river, and up high a flock of geese honk there way overhead. He thinks to himself, "It sure is peaceful here to night. But things will sure be poppin' when Slim rides in." ;D ;D ;D ;D
As Delmonico drifts off to sleep he tries to think of where he put his rollin' pin, he could not find it when he was makin' supper. He says to himself, with a chuckle. "Bet Mrs. Slim knows where it is."
(Folks turn to this channel tomorrow moring when we find out if Silver Creek Slim gets Delmonico's rollin' pin up the side of his head.")
Slim drives a wagon into camp with 6 of his children in the back. The wagon is filled with furniture.
(http://www.adelseck.com/sitebuilder/images/Antique_bedroom_set_024-408x396.jpg)
(http://www.adelseck.com/sitebuilder/images/Antique_Bedroom_Set_3_002-422x292.jpg)
(http://www.bbonline.com/al/mckibbon/pix9.jpg)
Delmonico thinks ta himself, "Well he went ta Wissyconsion this weekend, but he's still got ta 'spain ta Mrs. Slim where he's been those other one's he told us he went home but didn't." ;D ;D :o
"Delmonico, I hear my wife's in camp. She was not at home this weekend when I got there with the new furniture I have been workin' on the last 6 months. I was going to surprise her with it. The kids said she came down here for a visit."
"She is and be careful I ain't seen my rollin' pin lately." Delmonico is amazed how quick Slim has wiggled himself out of this little trap. ;D ::)
Slim and the kids he brought enter the tent where the misses and the kids she brought are staying.
Delmonico hopes Slim can 'splain fast, he needs help with the brandin". ;D Sides that he's kinda fond of his Tigerstripe maple rollin' pin. ::)
Slim, the misses, and the kids come out of the tent. Slim gives Delmonico the rolling pin back. The misses and kids put there things in the wagon. Slim gives each kid a hug and kiss as they climb into the wagon. He helps the misses into the wagon seat, gives her a kiss, and says his goodbyes. The misses heads the wagon northeast. "I'll see ya Thursday night."
"Delmonico, let's get some grub so we can start branding some beeves."
As Slim was in the tent, Little Joe (the Wrangler, not Cartwright) comes ridin' up in a hurry. ???
He comes up and tells Delmonico somethin' and points North. ???
Delmonico hollers, "Slim we got problems up north of here. Quick connect to this link and have a look." ;D ;D ::) :o :o
http://memory.loc.gov/cgi-bin/displayPhoto.pl?path=/award/nbhips/lca/122&topImages=12299r.jpg&topLinks=12299v.jpg&displayProfile=0&title=%22Settlers%20taking%20the%20law%20in%20their%20own%20hands--cutting%20fence%20on%20old%20Brighton%20Ranch.%22&m856s=$dnbhips$f12299&dir=ammem&itemLink=D?psbib:1:./temp/~ammem_uXQj::
"Don't think we have much to worry about. They can't cut much wire with wood scissors." ;D
Mutterin' to himself Delmonico goes off tha cook supper. "Durn Slim's more clever than I thought, but bet he don't know why they used wooden wire cutters in the picture!"
"And I bet Mr. Google won't tell him."
I would think they would have gotten arrested for having wire cutters on someone else's fence.
Just like a runnin' irun, just possesin' them were a felony, if the law got ya first. ;D ;D
Other wise telagraph poles could be used instead of trees. :o
"Well, boys, it is time to roundup some of the beeves and get a fire started outside of camp, cuz Delmonico don't wanna share his cookin' fire with us. :P It's branding time! ;D "
Mutterin' under his breath Delmoico wonders why Slim would even think 'bout draggin a cow inta the cook camp, 'less he wanted cow poop in his supper. ;D
"I love the smell of burnt hide in the mornin.'" ;D
(http://memory.loc.gov/award/nbhips/lca/126/12601v.jpg)
Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. And, he brands cattle. ;D
Slim and the hands head out early to continue branding the beeves.
(http://memory.loc.gov/award/nbhips/lca/120/12082v.jpg)
As Slim was headin' out Delmonico hollors to him, "Ya there was a Santa Claus and he did used ta brand cattle, but I hate ta have ya break the news ta yer 18 kids, Santa Claus was eaten by grasshoppers. Newbrassky is a rough place." :o ;D
http://memory.loc.gov/cgi-bin/displayPhoto.pl?path=/award/nbhips/lca/126&topImages=12600r.jpg&topLinks=12600v.jpg&displayProfile=0&title=Ephriam%20Swain%20Finch%20demonstrating%20how%20he%20attempted%20to%20kill%20grasshoppers%20in%201876..&m856s=$dnbhips$f12600&dir=ammem&itemLink=D?psbib:1:./temp/~ammem_n5K5::
(http://memory.loc.gov/award/nbhips/lca/126/12600r.jpg)
:o :'(
Be careful Slim, there was a roundup boss dissapeared last year down on the South Loup. Him and the whole crew dissapeared. Even the remuda. All they found was a bunch a grasshoppers hangin' round camp, they was usin' brandin' iruns fer stakes and playin' horse shoes. But that wasn't the really sacary part. ;D ;D ::)
Alright, what was the real scary part?
Slim
They t'we're pickin thar teeth with'n horseshoe nails and a braidin' horse hair ropes. ::) ;D
:o AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
I'm alright, now.
:o AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
"Just keep a smokey fire goin' and ya shouldn't have any trouble with grasshoppers, till ya get in yer bedroll and have grasshopper dreams." ;D ;D
"Bring another beef o'er here. This iron ain't smokin' enough to keep the locusts away." ;D
Since Delmonico knows he's got Slim a bit skeered of the grasshoppers which are really Rocky Mountian Locusts he gives him one more thin' ta worry bout. "Slim don't worry 'bout the grasshoppers, they sleep at night. But the crickets come out at night, the ate a whole fencin' crew up on the North Loup 2 years ago." :o :o :o :o :o ;D
:o AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
I'm alright, now.
:o AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
One of the Bohunks yells at Slim in his Czech accent, "You better drop that iron, with all that running around, you might brand yourself."
Slim stops yelling, and running to and fro. He says, "That is a good ider". He puts the iron back in the fire. He starts running to and fro, again.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Runnin' a round like a chicken with it's head cut off, (yes folks they really run with their heads cut off) Slim trips over a large cow flop. (Ta those who don't know what cow flop is, it ain't nothin' but cow poop that ain't dried enough ta be prairie coal. A 3.5 inch floppy comes from a small cow. ::))
Fourtunatly Slim don't break no bones when he falls in the soft sand. Unfourtunatly he falls in a large patch of sand burrs which is a common member of the grass family that grow through out the sandhills in large patches. The seed of this plant as the name sand burr implies has a lot of stickers on it and hurts really bad when one falls in a large patch. :o :o
Before Slim finds out how well the fence crew likes him by helpin' him pull these nast things out maybe he will maybe Google us up a picture of this grass of the genus Cenchrus. (Delmonico don't Google this stuff up. He's got somethin' better'n Google for normal houshold use. ;D)
(http://www.homebrew.com/wine_cellar/sandburr.jpg)
My wife and 18 (or is it 19) kids live in Wash-a-sand county, WI. We get nice crops o' these. I hate it when I step on one with me bare feet. One of the kids, when she was too young to walk, was in the playpen. She started crying. The misses couldn't figger why she was crying. It turns about one o' these nasty critters jumped into the playpen and into her mouth. Ouch! :o
AnnieLee, the frumpy fairy godmother, pops in.
"Sandspurs are the reason why kids in Southern Florida have to wear flipflops instead of going barefoot. Those things are wicked nasty and painful when stepped on. 'S been many a time when I've seen some poor Yankee snowbird taking her kids to the beach barefoot and hearing them scream so loud it'd loosen the fillings in your teeth.
"How's the branding coming... and where's the dog? You didn't eat him, did ya?"
Delmonico fights those in his front yard just south a tha salt flats.
Now get yerself outa this mess Slim. ;D
PS. A micro chip is a 3.5 inch floppy from a small cow after it has dried. ;D
"The brandin' was goin' fine until Delmonico mentioned about people got et by locust and cricket, then I fell in this sand burr patch." >:(
Suddenly there's a softer, quieter whinin' noise than Slim. It is the yaller dog wwho went ta help Slim. He now has sandburrs in his paws. but the fence crew help the dog get them outa his paws and then toss a fencing pliers ta Slim. ;D ::)
"Thanks for the pliers. Go ahead and hep the dawg." ::)
Reread last post, they heped da dog furst. ;D ;D ;D
Thinkin' to himself, Delmonico wonders what will happen ta Slim while he is gone for 3 days. "Ya got a wireless laptop Slim. ::) :o ;D :D :'( :P :-X :) :D :'( :'( :-* :-[ :P :-* :P :) :P
Quote from: Delmonico on October 05, 2004, 04:36:19 PM
Reread last post, they heped da dog furst. ;D ;D ;D
Thinkin' to himself, Delmonico wonders what will happen ta Slim while he is gone for 3 days. "Ya got a wireless laptop Slim. ::) :o ;D :D :'( :P :-X :) :D :'( :'( :-* :-[ :P :-* :P :) :P
Nope. I'll be in the sticks without internet access. I will probably be bald, drown in a flash flood, blown away in a twister, shot by rustlers, bit by a rattler, break a leg in a prairie-dawg hole, fall in an ant hill, get branded... Did I miss somtin? ;D
Sumptin' normally done at brandin' time, ta the little bull calves. :o ;D ;D :o
Do they have rattlers in Wissyconsion? ::)
I thunk them Prairie Poodles up that are called groundhogs. ;D
"Tarnation, I wroted a little post about crickets, locusts and grasshoppers, but I think the critters ate it."
With a flail of her hands and a flip of her skirt, she poofs back out again.
Back at the ranch Delmonico and the dog wait fer Slim ta get all the sandburrs out a his body so they can have supper. They would of course not wait fer Slim, 'cept they be havin' too much fun countin' them as he pulls them out. 232, 233, 234 they all chime in with each pull of the pliers.
Suddenly there is a little poof of mist fer a minute and the yaller dog wags his tail as the mist disappears.
As Slim finishes up with the sandburrs, supper is served. After supper slim is not in very good humor, kinda grumpy cause he has had a bad day. Grasshoppers, locusts, crickets and now sandburrs. Even a piece of Delmonico's dried apple and raisin pie don't cheer him up.
Delmonico knows Slim misses Wissyconsion and the trees, it often happens ta folks out here that be used ta trees, they go crazy, the State of Newbrassky has an Insane Assylum in Norfolk that is full a folks like that. Ta keep Slim from havin' to go there Delmonico tells him ta click on this link.
http://memory.loc.gov/cgi-bin/displayPhoto.pl?path=/award/nbhips/lca/101&topImages=10130r.jpg&topLinks=10130v.jpg&displayProfile=0&title=Lookout%20Point%20in%20Cherry%20County,%20near%20the%20Snake%20River.&m856s=$dnbhips$f10130&dir=ammem&itemLink=D?psbib:1:./temp/~ammem_YRHF:
See Slim, just ta cheer ya up Solomon Butcher done drew some trees on this glass plate just ta cheer ya up. ;D ;D
Slim says nothin' but heads fer his soogun and goes ta sleep. Later Delmonico is awakened by Slim screamin' in his sleep sumthin' 'bout grasshoppers playin' horse shoes. ;D
Delmonico thinks ta himself, "that three day weekend will be good fer him." ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on October 05, 2004, 07:26:41 PM
Sumptin' normally done at brandin' time, ta the little bull calves. :o ;D ;D :o
Don't even think about it! >:(
Quote from: Delmonico on October 05, 2004, 07:26:41 PM
Do they have rattlers in Wissyconsion? ::)
Yep, timber rattlers, but I have lived most o' my life in WI and have not seen or heard one. *knocks on wood*
Quote from: Delmonico on October 05, 2004, 07:26:41 PM
I thunk them Prairie Poodles up that are called groundhogs. ;D
Some people call them that, but I call 'em woodchucks. They are a bit bigger than prairie poodles but smaller than marmots/rockchucks.
Quote from: Delmonico on October 05, 2004, 10:30:19 PM
See Slim, just ta cheer ya up Solomon Butcher done drew some trees on this glass plate just ta cheer ya up. ;D ;D
(http://memory.loc.gov/award/nbhips/lca/101/10130v.jpg)
Thanks, Delmonico, that helps. That is a hoot that he drew trees on the glass. :D
Slim crawls out of the soogun, sore from the sand burrs and tired from the insect nightmares. "Delmonico, I need extra strength coffee this morning."
Delmonico says, "Essppprrreesssoo ain't been invented yet so I is gonna make ya a Turkish coffee Delmonico's style (I leave the cardamom out) I learn't ta make this while guidin' and cookin' fer a retired British Army Officer that had served in tha Middle East."
Grapping a tea kettle Delmonico boils some water, fills a cup 1/4 up with pulverised, sifted coffee. He then pout the cup 3/4 full of boiling water and whips it ta a froth. Here, enjoy, that'll wake ya up. :o :o :o ;D
Slim takes the cup and guzzles it down. "Ya got any grub ta go wit dis java so I don't have the fits all day?"
Delmonico says, "Capt. Cox gave me an idea in his post askin' me fer a recipe in the CAS-City Historic Society. Were havin' pulled horse samwhiches fer breakfast." Go ahead Slim, add the picture. ;D :o ;D ;D :P
(http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:VQXGoguRNAoJ:www.geocities.com/PrivateMajorOfTheArmy/Graphics/MrYuck.gif)
(http://www.antiquephotographics.com/images/ForSale/Expeditions/exp28.jpg)
Slim decides to forego breakfast and goes to brand more beeves.
As Slim heads out ta brand delmonico hollors ta him, "In France they'd cook in with some fancy gravy (sauce) and serve ya a little bitty piece with some colorful vegtables on the side all 'ranged pretty, and ya'd get it after yer snail, weak soup and a bowl of weeds. They'd also charge ya a bunch a Francs. what ever a Franc is." ;D ;D ;D ;D
Slim mutters, "I ain't in France. And I ain't French." Slim builds the branding fire and puts the iron in it. The hands round up so beeves and Slim brands them. Meanwhile, the coffee starts kicking in. Slim starts to shakin'. He starts running in circles around the fire and brands everything in sight; horses, mules, cowhands, the yeller dawg...
When the yaller dog comes inta camp whinin', Delmonico sees the brand and knows what happened. Mutterin' to himself somethin' 'bout light weights, he says out loud ta tha yaller dog. "When that fairy Godmother that brung ya ta this thread shows up, I bet Slim really gets it. He thinks the grasshoppers and tha crickets were bad." :o :o ;D
Eventually, the coffee wears off and Slim runs outta steam. He falls on the ground in a heap. Luckily he misses the sand burr patches, the fresh cow pies, and the ant hills. But, unluckily (is that a word?) the branding iron hits him in the back of the head, knocking him into Lala Land where he dreams for locusts, crickets, and angry fairy Godmothers. :o
What Slim fergot about and probally don't even know about is the dreaded Opuntia fargilis, which in missin' the sandburrs he has fallen in ta. ;D Also know as the Brittle Catus and names best not mentioned, the arms of this nasty plant break off and the thorns are really sharp. (This is one reason yuppies wearin' Birkenstock sandels are not often seen back packin' cross the sandhills.)
Delmonico has decided not to wait fer the Fairy Godmother ta punish Slim, but instead he has went to his office and got his copy of "Nebraska Wild Flowers" by Robert C. Lommasson and published by UNs own Bison Press. ;D ;D Delmonico can now really put the hurt on Slim, Delmonico don't need no stinkin' Google. ::) ::) ::)
Sadly the copy the insect books are at Delmonico's mother's house. If Slim brands any more Yaller Lab dogs or any other Lab dogs Delmonico will fetch that book and really "BUG"Slim.
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
The frumpy fairy godmother appears with a glittering of sawdust.
"Thought I'd stop by because I am looking to get a..."
Her voice chops off when she sees the yellow dog, and her normally green/hazel eyes narrow down into yellow slits.
"Slim, now you've gone and done it. Beware the fiddleback spider." With a wave of a hand, the pup's brand is healed, but he'll forever be marked with the crawling Ess.
That done, and hopefully with sufficient paranoia placed on Slim, she looks back to Delmonico. "I've been collecting some cast iron. Not sure if I have a dutch oven or not. Don't they have the three little legs on the bottom part and the funny (non-dome) top?"
Slim awakes from his nightmares with a throbbing head and needles sticking out of him.
"The fiddleback spider!" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
(http://www.bulkmsm.com/images/spider1.jpg)
"Fiddleback" spider, Loxosceles rufescens, also known in the United States as the "Brown Recluse" spider.
We have these nasty critters in WI. A friend of mine was bit by one and got very ill. :(
Slim ya fergot the Brittle Cactus. Fairy Godmother: the true, real camp type dutch ovens have 3 legs and flanged lid, but all cast iron cook ware is good. (Whisper, I gotta go soon got bread in oven, but I think Slim is in trouble now I got the plant we're gonna sick on him next. It's right here in the book.) ::)
Aye, Slim's in trouble, now. Is there another thread or forum we should pop to so we can talk about dutch oven cooking? I don't yet have one, but think I know where I can get one this weekend.
Post questions in the Hist. Society,we've been usin' that for a cookin' column also. Am at work right now but will be home later. Might have time later tonight if not busy. Or send me a PM. I've got some stuff posted in http://www.brimstonepistoleros.com/bpforum/viewforum.php?f=21&sid=1b4f07ba7f6b22c33b9196353ffbade8, if that will help.
After Delmonico helps the Fairy Godmother with some links ta help with dutchovens. (Is this a blue fairy godmother if so where's Kurt Vonnegen.) Supper is just fried steak, and biscuits and gravy with pie. The yaller dog gets Slim's piece. Knowin' he has done bad, Slim crawls inta his soogun fer the last night at the ranch before the three day weekend. The yaller dog brings Delmoico his book, open at page 15.
So Delmonico and the yaller dog decide that Slim's soogun is in a patch of Comandra umbellata, a common parisite on the prairie. Now it is a parisite only ta other plant feedin' on there roots. So it really won't hurt Slim like an over size Venus Fly Trap would, but they don't grow here, oversize or not. No this plant is unimpressive, no showy folage, the flowers are plain, but Slim will have nightmares all weekend when he finds out what has happened, cause this plant has the ugliest name of any in the book. Slim has rolled his soogun out in a patch of a plant with the very discustin' name of Bastard toad-flax. ;D
(http://www.desertusa.com/mag01/mar/papr/photos/flax.jpg)
Bastard toad-flax
Slim wakes from his nightmares still sore from the needles and knob on his head. He crawls from his soogun and goes over to the fire where Delmonico is sitting. "None of your "special" coffee for me this morning. I don't want to have another day like yesterday. :("
The frumpy fairy godmother, having finished her "breakfast of champions" (with a nod to Kurt Vonnegut) is scritching the yellow dog.
"Look out, Slim! There's a spider on your neck!"
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Slim jumps to his feet, runs to the river, and jumps in.
AnnieLee grins down to the yellow dog. "There wasn't really a spider on him, you know." The dog grins back at her.
Slim climbs out of the river and walks to the fire to dry off. "I need this 3 day weekend to settle me nerves."
"Settle your nerves too much and you'll have twenty kids instead of nineteen, or whatever the current count is."
Every week I get another one. I am up to 19. Will have 20 by Monday. ;D
Delmonico, grins, Yes, a three day weekend fer Slim, perhaps this would be a good weekend ta have a chat with an old shootin' buddy that knows a bit of such things as spiders and snakes. ;D
He has several PHD's, one which is not used for fence posts is in Biology! ;D
When he finds out what Slim did ta a yaller Lab dog! ;D
"Uhhh.... Slim?" Wasn't there serveral months in there where you didn't go home? Weren't you off making furniture or something? So... errr.. well... where did those kids come from?"
:o
Quote from: Delmonico on October 07, 2004, 11:08:53 AM
Delmonico, grins, Yes, a three day weekend fer Slim, perhaps this would be a good weekend ta have a chat with an old shootin' buddy that knows a bit of such things as spiders and snakes. ;D
He has several PHD's, one which is not used for fence posts is in Biology! ;D
When he finds out what Slim did ta a yaller Lab dog! ;D
"Twernt me fault I branded the yaller dawg. I was under the influence of your "special" coffee."
Quote from: AnnieLee on October 07, 2004, 11:11:58 AM
"Uhhh.... Slim?" Wasn't there serveral months in there where you didn't go home? Weren't you off making furniture or something? So... errr.. well... where did those kids come from?"
:o
Ask Delmonico, he's the one that kept adding a kid every week. :P
You mean... those might be Delmonico's kids? Have I popped into some kinda "Paint Your Wagon" situation?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
While the frumpy fairy godmother stares in startlement, the yellow dog grins with an "I could get into a situation like that" expression.
After Slim calms down, he decides it is time to continue branding beeves since there are still hundreds to go. Unbranded beeves are just asking to be rustled. "Come on boys, let's get them beeves branded." Slim and the hands go out to the herd to brand.
The count is 18, I didn't add one last week cause of the situation. ;D I added tha kids a fore I decided tha put tha bind on him. ;D ;D Will do post in Hist. Soc. on special coffee if'n someone like me hits da hard stuff and wants ta do's it period correct. :o
Then that over, Delmonico points out a flower growin' in a bare spot in the sand.
He says "Slim since ya live in sandy soil, thar's a flower that lives in bare sandy places and seems ta do well, might be good ta dig some of them up outa the blowouts and take them home and plants them in da bare spots in yer yard. The wife might like that and if'n she ain't over the mixup bout ya comin' home on tha weekend it might help. Ladies like flowers." ;D
"Sides that since dem flowers like the bare spots it seems like it be perfect fer keepin' sand from washin' er blowin." ::) ;D
Ya gottsa picture of this here flower?
AnnieLee slants a wary look to Delmonico. "I dunno if I'd trust him, Slim, might be some blooming version of poison oak or something."
That's why I want a picture. ;D
Not knowin' why they don't trust him Delmonico must tell the truth. "Slim it's a penstemon, tain't poisonous, don't have no thorns. The plant won't hurt ya a bit, it will grow in yer bare spots, sadly Mr. Lommasson has fergot ta put it in his book, so I cain't give ya no taxinomical name fer it. But it is real, I have seen it, they gots one in the Native Newbrassky Wild Flower Garden by the 17th St. enterance of the State Fair Grounds. I have touched it, didn't hurt me. I offer it ta fix yer yard and smooth over the problems I have caused with you and Mrs. Slim." ;D ::) ;D ;)
Go ahead and dig some up fer her, I checked, that one over there ain't got no spider, snakes or any other creepy crawlies hid'n near it. ya can even have my cookin' shovel ta dig it up. :)
Fergot, it does have a common name but it seems ta have slipped my mind, you just dig some up fer Mrs. Slim and I'll run ta the office ta see if I can find a common name so when folks from Wissyconsion want ta know what it is ya can tell them. :)
(http://www.mystery.com/~audrey/garden/plants/images/penstemon_digitalis.jpg)
Common name is beardtongue.
"Thanks, Delmonico. I will big up a bunch to plant in the bare spots."
Aw, it *is* pretty. Will it grow in the Mid Atlantic area?
As Slim starts ta dig the plants, Delmonico comes back down from upstairs with another book. Lookin at Slim's post he says, "Sorry Slim, Beardtounge is used for all Penstemon's, what ya got there is Penstemon gracilis, know as Slender Penstemon. The one you are diggin' is Penstemon heydenii. Commonly know as Blowout Penstemon. By the way there' somethin' else in the book I should tell you. ;D
Slim quickly replants the blowout beardtongue because it is protected by the US Govt.
But it is too late, there is a black hellycopter comin' fast. As it land USFWS is in white letters on the side. Slim is slapped inta handcuffs and tossed in tha back. As they take off, Delmonico hollors, "it is the only plant in Newbrassky on the endangered species list. In fact it is one of the rarest plants in the US."
As the hellycopter dissapears over the horizon Delmonico says to himself, "I hope Slim has a fun three day weekend." ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
I wonder who tipped them off? ::) Maybe the guy with the bee sting kit and cell phone in his saddle bag. :P
"Bye Slim!! I hope they allow conjugal visits!!!"
AnnieLee waves a fond farewell and the branded yellow dog barks.
As the last "thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, noises of the hellycopter fade out in the distance, the yaller dog slips in ta the ranch site, he heads ta the dugout. When he gets there he places Delmonico's saddlehorn cellular phone back in the saddle bag. ;D ;D
A doggy smile comes to his face, he wags his tail. As evening comes he heads over ta Slim's soogun, aranges the blankets to his desire, turns aroun three times and settles down. ;D
Now, wait a blasted minute! The US Forest Service was established in 1905. This is the 1870's.
USFWS stand for United States Fish and Wildlife Service. And this is a Cyber-Western so anything could happen. No don't cause any trouble for them Slim, USFWS don't have no sense of humor bout folks tha viiiooolllate "The Endanged Species Act" and since ya only dug up one plant it won't cost ya more tha maybe $100,000 fine and 10 years in Federal prison. Have a nice 3 day weekend.
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Why would the United States Fish and Wildlife Service be concerned about a plant. The name implys it is concerned with animals.
Did someone mention wildlife????????????? ??? ??? ??? ??? ::) ::) ::) ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
;D Tarnation! :o Slims gonna slip away from them Rebenours anyways, he's got a shoot to go too! 8) AND, they did not mean that kinda wildlife ::) ::) ::)!!!!
BB
Sorry Slim, the USFWS is charged with enforcin' "The Endangered Species Act." This time Google has failed you, the clue was when it was growin' in the blowout.
As it gets dark Smin is still headin' somewhere in the black hellycopter, at first Slim figgered he'd be taken tha the Federal District Court House in Lincoln. :o But instead a south-east the black hellycopter heads west. Just at dark Slim realizes he is over Nevady, suddenly from wathin' The History Channel he realizes in the gaterin' dusk they are over Nellis Air Force Base. :o :o Then he realizes, the black hellycopter is takin' him ta the infamous AREA 51. :o
We must leave Slim now, what ever happens now is "TOP SECRET" :-X Will Slim escape, will he make it ta Mississippi Fandango? We may never know what happens ta Slim. We must wait now till Monday and see if Slim is able ta log in. ;D
It's a quiet morning on the yet unnamed ranch. Delmonico gets up and fixes himself breakfast, the crew has also taken the weekend off. The only one around is Delmonico and the yaller dog.
Decidin' ta check his voice mail Delmonico gets his saddle horn cellular out and wonders why there are teeth marks on it. ;D
The yellow dog is carefully looking the other way and appearing to be extremely innocent.
Suddenly a idea comes ta Delmonico, "We'll name it "The Ranch With No Name" ta honor all the Eyetallion Westerns. We'll get some small, nasty lookin' seegars fer Slim ta' smoke. :P And best of all we'll teach him ta squint like Clint." ;D
"Oh, I dunno," pipes in the frumpy fairy godmother, "since you and Slim are living the 'Paint Your Wagon' life, how about No Name Ranch? You could still get the stinky cigars and teach Slim to squint like Clint, since Clint was in that one, too."
Ok, sounds fine, but if'n Slim says, "go ahead punk, make my day," would ya whup on him with that fancy sticak ya tote around. ;D
A slow, wicked smile forms. "I'd be glad to, and once I figure out how to work my digital camera, I'll post a pic of the stick."
I's good with Tecccnical stuff, ;D just point da lens thingy at what ya want. Push da button and then hook dat string thing up, one end ta the cooommpoootor tha udder end ta tha camera thingy. ;D Push some keys, click the mouse clicker a couple a times and it will go all over the word. ;D ;D
I wonder if the ghost of Solomon Butcher could help. He made so many a thes' photygraphs I've put da links ta. ;D
Well, I didn't play with it today. I went on a quest to find a dutch oven. Wandered all over the countryside, I did. I was surprised at how many of the antique folks didn't know what a dutch oven was. A couple of them tried to pawn a regular pot with a dome lid off on me. One man had one but the lid was cracked with holes in it. Another lady had one, but the lid was soldered to fix where it had caved in at some time. She tried to tell me it was just normal gunk that accumulates in cast iron, until I showed her the cracks and where it had been mashed. She wanted $95 for that one. I don't want to cook anything in a pot that might have lead solder in it.
So I got doodlysquat for an oven today.
:(
Well, thanks to a quick education from that ebay place, I have to say "Oops!" Turns out those pots with the dome lids are also dutch ovens, but what I am looking for is a "camping dutch oven." Turns out that I already have a Wagner chicken fryer, a dutch oven with the hanger and no marks, and an odd pot that has spouts on both sides. The lid for that one also has a handle, is deep, and has matching spouts on both sides. I don't know what it is!
Delmonico hopes the Uncletique dealers didn't steal the fairy Godmothers wand, so Delmonico sent her a PM.
Back on tha ranch Delmonico realizes that he might have went to far this time. If Slim don't return from Area 51, Delmonico will have ta finish brandin' the cattle and Delmonico's smelled that before, it stinks. Delmonico though figgers Slim has Googled himself out of another mess and will log in Monday and tell us how he escaped from the black hellycopter. ;D
The fairy godmother scribbles out a reply, then ponders Delmonico's situation.
"You know, you could send the yellow dog to go get Slim."
Comfy and cozy, the yellow dog lifts his head, perks his ears forward, then gives them a "who, me?" look.
Na' tha yaller dog ain't gonna find Slim, remember he's still mad at Slim over the brandin' insoodent. :o
I got an Idea though, got some friends that might be able ta help, I'll get them rounded up before the mornin" they can find Slim. ;D ;D
" I got some good news and some bad news. The good news is I got's connections with the State Militia, officers also like ta eat. (Is there anyone who Delmonico ain't bribed with food. ;D)
The ajoootant Gineral has loaned us a patrol ta go out lokkin' fer Slim, that is the good news. The bad news is the only fella's he can loan us right now, this mornin' is a band company. But they will do their best. ;D
http://memory.loc.gov/cgi-bin/displayPhoto.pl?path=/award/nbhips/lca/131&topImages=13173r.jpg&topLinks=13173v.jpg&displayProfile=0&title=First%20regiment%20band%20of%20the%20Nebraska%20National%20Guard,%20Kearney,%20Nebraska.&m856s=$dnbhips$f13173&dir=ammem&itemLink=D?psbib:24:./temp/~ammem_Y0dC:
So after delmonico feeds the band steak and eggs fer breakfast, they head out lookin' fer Slim. As they dissapear out accross the sandhills, the rolicking strains of "Garry Owen" fade back on the wind.
Delmonico hopes the band don't drink to much brown ale and end up in gaol, like that wonderful Irish drinkin' song says. :o
First regiment band of the Nebraska National Guard, Kearney, Nebraska.
(http://memory.loc.gov/award/nbhips/lca/131/13173v.jpg)
(How about that, I got it to verk!)
My magic wand don't have enough power fer that. ;D But I hope these fellers can find Slim. Just got a tellygraph from the AG, says if'n these fellaws find Slim, he might be able ta send more help. ;D ;D
Suddenly the is a bunch a noise and a group of soldiers come over tha hill and it ain't the band that left earlier.
Upon the group reachin' camp Delmonico finds out that it is part of the band that was delayed in the sand. But now they have arrived and when the rest show back up this evening they are gonna do a concert.
^
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They are plannin' on startin' the concert at 7 pm.#
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They are gonna play "The 1812 Overture." :o :o
http://memory.loc.gov/cgi-bin/displayPhoto.pl?path=/award/nbhips/lca/136&topImages=13664r.jpg&topLinks=13664v.jpg&displayProfile=0&title=Nebraska%20National%20Guard,%20Kearney,%20Nebraska.&m856s=$dnbhips$f13664&dir=ammem&itemLink=D?psbib:3:./temp/~ammem_iDjC:
"Oh, I love the 1812 Overture! Lemme wave my wand to make sure the cannon are pointed in the right direction... "
(http://memory.loc.gov/award/nbhips/lca/136/13664v.jpg)
Nebraska National Guard, Kearney, Nebraska.
"But when they are done, shouldn't they be going to get Slim?"
The militia band along with the artillary attachment brings Slim into camp. Delmonico feeds them steak & eggs for breakfast. After eating their fill, the militia head back to the fort. Slim yells to the militia, "Thanks for rescuing me from those Nevady wackos. Take along several unbranded beeves for your trouble." Slim goes over and gives the yaller dawg a BIG juicy beef steak and asks for forgiveness for branded its hide.
The yellow dog smiles around the BIG steak (dogs can do that, I've seen it), gives Slim several happy wags of his tail, then wanders to the shade to eat.
Delmonico says, "Ya sure wiggled out a this one again pretty easy. Now get them beeves branded or ya don't get no supper. And try ta stay outa trouble." ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
"Okay, I'll try to stay outta trouble." Slim saddles his horse and rides out to the herd.
Delmonico graps another cup a coffee before startin' on fresh beard for supper. He thinks to him self. "Slim, stay outa trouble? Not while I gots coffee and time ta think." ; ;D ;D
Oh no, here it comes. :o
When Slim finally gets done with the brandin' he knocks off early and comes back ta tha ranch ta find Delmonico hobblin' about with a sore back. "Slim, we need ta get us a well, I thowed ma back out haulin' water from the Dismal river. Besides that ya ain't good anout keepin' the herd downsteam and tha coffee's been funny tastin'." :P
"We could dig a well with a shovel, but toads, snakes and lizards will just fall down it and the coffee will taste like toads, snakes and lizards that are turnin' rancid. :P"
"Go down ta Kearney and hire a drill rig like this one:"
http://memory.loc.gov/cgi-bin/displayPhoto.pl?path=/award/nbhips/lca/102&topImages=10215r.jpg&topLinks=10215v.jpg&displayProfile=0&title=The%20Hart%20%26%20Company%20well%20drilling%20outfit%20at%20Cliff%20Table,%20Nebraska.&m856s=$dnbhips$f10215&dir=ammem&itemLink=D?psbib:1:./temp/~ammem_tG1H:
(http://memory.loc.gov/award/nbhips/lca/102/10215v.jpg)
"Will this get me in trouble?"
"Now Slim, how could a fella git in trouble ridin' down ta Kearney ta hire a well drillin' crew?"
"Oh last time I was down ta Kearney I stayed with some folks with a really cool windmill, could ya get us one like this one.?"
http://memory.loc.gov/cgi-bin/displayPhoto.pl?path=/award/nbhips/lca/107&topImages=10774r.jpg&topLinks=10774v.jpg&displayProfile=0&title=East%20Custer%20County,%20Nebraska.&m856s=$dnbhips$f10774&dir=ammem&itemLink=D?psbib:20:./temp/~ammem_cIk3:
"It makes the others look so plain. And we don't want a plain lookin' ranch."
(http://memory.loc.gov/award/nbhips/lca/107/10774v.jpg)
"If there is trouble to be had, I will find it. ;)" "Alright, I will go to Kearney to hire a well drill crew and get a fancy windmill." Slim saddles his hoss and heads to Kearney.
Just don't get lost, if ya lose yer compass, just find a compass plant. Silphium lacinaitum fer taxinomical folks, the leaves point north and south. ;D
Just like moss only grows on the northside of trees? But, since they are few trees in Nebrassky I won't get lost. ::)
A week later Slim ain't back. Delmonico gets on his mule and heads out trackin' Slim, takin' the yallar dog ta help. "I know he's got water and he can survive on jackrabbits and antyloope. But I bet I know where ta look, good thing I brought the yallar dog." ::) ::)
http://memory.loc.gov/cgi-bin/displayPhoto.pl?path=/award/nbhips/lca/102&topImages=10217r.jpg&topLinks=10217v.jpg&displayProfile=0&title=Sandhills%20near%20Sargent,%20Custer%20County,%20Nebraska.&m856s=$dnbhips$f10217&dir=ammem&itemLink=D?psbib:2:./temp/~ammem_lcgf::
"Slim didn't know what was between the ranch and Kearney. He's most likely walkin' in circles, goin' nuts tryin' ta find a tree ta climb ta see where he's at." ;D
The yellow dog doesn't have a magic wand and isn't as savvy as Slim, so he can't make the pictures appear. But about two hours out, he goes into a panic from the lack of trees and desolate landscape and ends up raising his leg on the mule's.
(http://memory.loc.gov/award/nbhips/lca/102/10217r.jpg)
Slim's been wandering around the sandhills trying to find his way to Kearney. "Delmonico was right. These jackrabbits sure are tough, but the antelope is pretty good."
Delmonico and the yaller dog search for Slim for several hours with no luck. ??? Suddenly Delmonico gets and idea, but in the real world his bread needs tended so the poor lost Slim must wait. ::)
"But will he ever return? No he'll never return, And his fate is still unlearned. He may ride forever in the sandhills of Nebrassky, He's the man who never returned."
"Makes me think I should hand ya a samwhich as yer horse comes rummblin' through."
(Slim don't know that Delmonico's mother used ta play that on a 45 when he was little.)
Slim's mom used to play that on guitar when he was young. ;D
"Thanks for the sandwich, Delmonico."
Delmonico searches fer Slim, till he finds him. "Slim ya got ta be more careful out here, just cause there ain't no trees ya can still get lost. Why futher west of here there is land so broken that i wern't ever properly survyed till the done sent up satterlites. Look on a map, secion lines in Garden and Sheridan counties be somewhat crooked. ;D"
"Let's both ride down ta Kearney and get a well digger and windmill. Now what other songs did yer mamma sing."
"Sounds good ta me. Let's go to Kearney. My momma used to sing Micheal Row Your Boat Ashore, also."
I thought the song was, "Michael Knows the Bowling Score." ;D
Now be careful Slim, most folks don't know it, but Kearney is a wild end of the trail cattle town. Just don't get in trouble. ;D
"I'll mind my P's and Q's." Whatever that means. ???
If'n ya put the line on tha wrong side a da o with lower case letters tha p becomes a q or tha q becomes a p. So be mindin' yer pqpqpqpqpppqqqpppqqqpppqqqppppppqqqqqqqppppqqqqppppq"s.
So if ya be passin' any note's ta cowboys, be sure ta mind yer p'S and q'S. ;D
But I don't understand how thats gonna keep ya from gettin' in trouble. ::) ::)
Too much expreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssooooooooooooooooooooooooooo? :P
Arrivin' in Kearney in the evenin', it is too late to find a well drillin' crew and windmill. So Delmonico and Slim get themselves rooms in a hotel for the night. Slim goes out ta explore the town and Delmonico goes down ta the hotel lobby ta get a seegar.
http://memory.loc.gov/cgi-bin/displayPhoto.pl?path=/award/nbhips/lca/134&topImages=13427r.jpg&topLinks=13427v.jpg&displayProfile=0&title=Several%20people%20standing%20at%20the%20cigar%20stand%20inside%20the%20Midway%20Hotel,%20Kearney,%20Nebraska&m856s=$dnbhips$f13427&dir=ammem&itemLink=D?psbib:2:./temp/~ammem_FjUg:
As Delmonico it pickin' him out a nice Havana seegar, a young fella bout 12 years old comes runnin' up ta Delmonico. ;D
"Sir, Sir, ya must come quickly, your friend has been arrested, he is charged with stealing cattle. They got him locked up in the Buffalo County jail, it is in the courthouse." ::)
http://memory.loc.gov/cgi-bin/displayPhoto.pl?path=/award/nbhips/lca/130&topImages=13003r.jpg&topLinks=13003v.jpg&displayProfile=0&title=Courthouse%20and%20jail,%20Buffalo%20County,%20Nebraska.&m856s=$dnbhips$f13003&dir=ammem&itemLink=D?psbib:1:./temp/~ammem_wfVU::
The yellow dog wants to help out now that he is getting food on a regular basis, so he hunts for a stick, but there aren't any trees, so he wags his tail like it is a wand:
(http://memory.loc.gov/award/nbhips/lca/134/13427v.jpg)
Several people standing at the cigar stand inside the Midway Hotel, Kearney, Nebraska
Excited over his success, the yellow dog's tail wags faster and the second picture appears:
(http://memory.loc.gov/award/nbhips/lca/130/13003v.jpg)
Courthouse and jail, Buffalo County, Nebraska.
The dog sees those trees and takes off, running.
"Let me outta here! I ain't dun no cattle stealin'. >:("
Delmonico arrives at the Buffalo County Jail and they let him in ta see Slim.
"Slim I belive yer innocent, we'll have ta see bout gettin' ya a lawyer. But it might be safer if we don't post bail, ya know what happent ta the last two accused cattle theives that left this jail." :o
"We wouldn't want that ta happen ta you. If'n ya get hung it would be nice ta have a decent lookin' corpse ta ship back ta Wissyconsion." ;D
"Ya needs to find a lawyer quick. I gots to get outta here by toworrow so I can go hunting fer Chinese Chix in the Dakota territory."
Delmonico is confused that Slim is worried about hunting a bird that ain't been introduced ta the Dakotas yet and ain't worried about some one payin' the law off and takin' him to another county and hangin' him and burnin' his body ta a crisp. :P Like the last accussed cattle theives in the Buffalo County Jail.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Quote from: Delmonico on October 14, 2004, 12:56:59 PM
Delmonico is confused that Slim is worried about hunting a bird that ain't been introduced ta the Dakotas yet...
Even though the black choppers twernt invented yet, didn't stop them from taking me to Area 51. :D
Good point Slim, but ya got other worries, Google up Prentice Olive, Ami Ketcham and Luther Mitchell. Date December 10 1878, place Devil's Gap Custer County Newbrassky.
The real Slim might want ta go bird huntin, but the cyber one had better stay in jail.
QuoteOLIVE, ISOM PRENTICE (1840-1886). Prentice Olive, also known as Print Olive, an infamous cattleman, was born in Mississippi in 1840 to James and Julia Olive. In 1843, the family moved to Texas by covered wagon. Print received some basic grammar-school education in Williamson County, where the family settled, but his real education occurred on the open range of his family's ranch. Though his mother and sisters were Methodists, his father never forced him or his brothers to attend church. During the Civil War,qv Print fought on the side of the Confederacy. After the war he returned to Williamson County and began to make a name for himself as a rancher. In 1866 he managed a round-up for the entire region. With the assistance of his three brothers, Thomas, Ira and Bob, Print quickly became one of the big cattle ranchers in the area. Although great fortunes could be made in the cattle industry after the Civil War, it could also be a dangerous business. Print and his brothers were known to take the law into their own hands to protect their property. One notorious incident involved the murder of two suspected rustlers known as Turner and Crow. The men were killed by the "death of the skins," an old Spanish method of torture. Wrapped alive in green cowhides, the men were left to die as the sun slowly caused the skins to contract. Since the skins used had the Olive brand, the murders were widely believed to be done by the Olives. Despite an acquittal by the county court, many people continued to believe the brothers were guilty.
Violence seemed to haunt the entire Olive clan. Thomas Olive was killed in a gunfight and another brother, Bob, shot a local rancher, Cal Nutt. Print faced two indictments for murder but was found innocent both times. As the range filled up and conflicts increased, he decided to leave Texas. He first traveled to Colorado, but his reputation for lawlessness followed him and local ranchers forced him out of the area. Heading north, he settled in Custer County, Nebraska, in 1878. By 1879, tax records listed the Olives as one of the largest ranching outfits in the county. In an attempt to put a stop to widespread rustling, Print Olive and other ranchers formed the Custer County Livestock Association in 1878. The membership elected Olive president that same year. But in spite of their success, the Olives found themselves embroiled in violence once again. This time the dispute involved two neighboring ranchers, Mitchell and Ketchum. The sources of the argument are unclear. Some report that Mitchell and Ketchum were guilty of stealing Olive cattle. Others argue that the Olives were trying to push the small homesteaders off their land. The argument turned violent when Bob Olive went out to the Ketchum Ranch and was killed in a gunfight. When Ketchum and Mitchell were not convicted for the murder, a lynch mob, reportedly led by Print Olive, hunted down the two men and hanged them before setting their bodies on fire. Though it is not known whether Print Olive ordered the burning, the incident earned him the nickname "Man Burner." He was convicted of second-degree manslaughter, but on appeal the case was dropped when original witnesses failed to appear in court. Olive supposedly spent much of his money on legal fees and bribes to secure his release. What remained after the trials was lost when the beef market hit a slump in the 1880s. With his reputation and fortune ruined, Olive returned to Colorado. He was shot by a man named Joe Sparrow on August 18, 1886, in Trail City, Colorado, at the Haynes Saloon. Olive married Lousia Reno on February 4, 1866. They had four sons and a daughter.
"I guess I'll stay in jail 'til we get this thing straightened out. By the by, why do they think I stole cattle?"
That runnin' irun ya carry in the saddle scabbard on the saddle on yer horse.
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
By the way they were never brought to trial, they were removed by less than honest means from the Buffalo County jail by the Sherriff of Keith County with paper work demandin' they be taken to Custer County. In Custer County they were turned over to the Olive bunch North of Plum Creek. What happened later is not really known, but they were hung and their bodies burned.
But I will go ta Lincoln, there is a lawyer down there said ta be good, young fella just settin' up practice, they say he is quite the Silver Tongued Orator. Some fella name Willim Bryan. ::)
"Tain't no running brand. That is my iron I gots registered with the gov'ment of Nebrassky." ::)
(http://img.thefreedictionary.com/wiki/a/a3/William_Jennings_Bryan.jpg)
QuoteBryan was trained as a lawyer at Northwestern University. He practiced law in Lincoln , Nebraska, and represented Nebraska in Congress. Throughout his career, Bryan held fast to his Midwestern values; his deeply held religious beliefs and his consistent defense of the ordinary American earned him the moniker "the Great Commoner."
http://encyclopedia.thefreedictionary.com/William%20Jennings%20Bryan
It's ok I just talked to the Sherriff, I found the head of yer brandin' irun still in the scabbard, it just fell off. We'll find a blacksmith ta weld it back on, no wonder the thought it was a runnin' irun. ;D
That will save me a trip ta Lincoln. Ya got ta be more careful, that was a close one. ;D ;D
Ya could have ended up like this fella. :P
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Oh well, at least ya would have been a crowd pleaser. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
(http://memory.loc.gov/award/nbhips/lca/162/16258r.jpg)
"Now, can I get outta here so we can hire the well drillers, get that fancy windwill fan, and get outta this blasted town?" >:(
I guess if you want, but Cabela's has a store here, don't you want to go there before we leave town. ;D ;D ;D ;D
Besides that the state has built an arch museum over the Orygon Trail (I-80) don't ya want to visit that. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
"Sure, but lets find a blacksmith first to fix my iron so I don't get arrested agin."
Just leav'in the courthouse they runs into Brazos Bucky, "well howdy Slim, and to you too Delmonico." BB is a thinkin' that Delmonico sure do get that feller Slim in a lot o' trouble! "Hey that arch there goin' ta build over that new fangled Hiway is sure a looker! Been under it many a time in the future. Well, you two take care I'll be moseyin' along." BB again thinks to hisself as he walks down the boardwalk. Thought that Cabela's place was goin' ta be build in Sidney? ??? Anyways, sure do like to shop there. ;D
BB 8)
Well in the future they gonna build one at Sidney ta help suppy the folks headin' ta the Blackhills fer gold. Later they gonna build one close ta where the Orygon Trail meets the Platte so folks goin' ta Calyforia and Orygon can get stuff fer the trip over the mountians with out havin ta go bout 40 miles south of the trail. The one in Sidney is good fer folks travelin' the UP.
Don't worry I wouldn't really let them hang Slim, why I bet this afernoon was the first time he's ever been in a jail, even if it was just a cyber jail. ;D Why I bets he don't know they take a mans boot, hat and suspenders from him in jail. ::) Er at least I've heard they do. ::) ::) ::) ::) Oh do tell them not ta put tha hat under the boots in that jail bag. ::) Why they even take a mans silk neck rag. ::) ::) But I wouldn't know it was just a minor paperwork error. ::) ::) Why do they paint the walls such an ugly color of yallar. ::) Not that I would know, just rumor I've heard. ::)
;)
BB
With Slim saflely on the East bound UP, headin' back home ta make connections with his huntin' party, Delmonico heads back to the ranch on his mule. With Slim not gonna be back fer most a week, he will have plenty of time ta get Slim inta more trouble by searchin' the picture collections.
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
In fact here's a picture of Slim and his huntin' party takin' a break.
http://memory.loc.gov/cgi-bin/query/I?ngp:1:./temp/~ammem_2lUc::displayType=1:m856sd=ndfahult:m856sf=b214:@@@
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother pops in to see a deserted ranch. No wagons, no fence, no nothing, she can't even get the crystal ball to open up so she can take a peek at Slim and his hunting party.
She starts to sigh when a gigantic tumbleweed rolls in, runs her down and carries her away...
ARGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!
Delmonico decides ta head back to the ranch. He's a bit discussted that the Dakota link don't work as well as the Nebrassky links do.. :( Slim took the yaller dog with him ta chase Chinese Chickens. Most likely nuthin' happenin' at the ranch but some tumble weeds. ;D
The only sign of her passage at the ranch is a piece of broken stick that could have been a part of her wand, and some scraps of blue fabric.
Meanwhile, she comes around somewhere in the foothills of Wyoming in a place that looks like a truck stop for tumbleweeds. Seeing her broken wand, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother utters some unmentionable and unprintable words under her breath. She sticks out her thumb in hopes of a ride East, but the prevailing wind is still to the west and the rustling of the tumbleweeds makes it sound like they are giggling at her.
Ariveing back in camp Dlemonico finds some scraps of blue cloth at a small sticjk. Confused the throws the stick in the pile of scarce kindling and tosses the scraps of cloth in his sewin' kit to use a pathc material. ;D
A few days later, she comes wandering back to the ranch, looking a little worse for wear and tear: pieces of tumbleweed snared in her hair, the hem of her skirt ragged and dirty, and sporting a sunburnt nose. She is, however, sporting a new stick in her hand.
Delmonico says howdy ta the fairy godmother, sit and have some supper, decided I needed something ta spice things up so I made Chili, no beans and real meat and canned maters, just like proper. Been quiet with out Slim, bet he checks it out from the ridges with a spy glass before he rides in, he thinks I got some big mess ta put him in. ;D
He don't trust me, he's logged in and checked on us a couple a times. ;D ;D ;D
Spose I better think sumthin' up ta do ta him in the mornin' he be expectin' it. ::) ::)
"Chili is best with no beans and real meat." The frumpy fairy godmother accepts a bowl with a big hunk of bread to push things around.
"Figure something should happen to Slim, hope it is better than a ride on a..." she pauses to mumble under her breath, "... tumbleweed."
Slim rides toward camp with his saddle bags full of Chinese Chickens from the Dakota territory. The yaller dog is trotting 15 yards ahead.
Did ya bring some bacon ta wrap around those while they cook?
"Yep, I gots 5 pounds of bacon. It's been hard keepin' the yaller dawg from wantin' ta eat it. But, we been huntin' on the way down ta keep his belly full so he don't eat the bacon."
Quote from: Delmonico on October 15, 2004, 01:11:23 PM
With Slim saflely on the East bound UP, headin' back home ta make connections with his huntin' party, Delmonico heads back to the ranch on his mule. With Slim not gonna be back fer most a week, he will have plenty of time ta get Slim inta more trouble by searchin' the picture collections.
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
In fact here's a picture of Slim and his huntin' party takin' a break.
http://memory.loc.gov/cgi-bin/query/I?ngp:1:./temp/~ammem_2lUc::displayType=1:m856sd=ndfahult:m856sf=b214:@@@
(http://memory.loc.gov/award/ndfa/ndfahult/b200/b214r.jpg)
Is this the picture of my hunting party?
I glad you brought bacon, I was afraid ya would have to go find some and end up, lost and in jail. ;D
Yes thats the picture, why were you pickin' yer nose when the picture was taken. ;D
I was try'n ta get the cattail seeds outta there. ::)
Least it wern't bird poop. ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on October 22, 2004, 12:53:28 PM
Least it wern't bird poop. ;D ;D ;D
That is for sure.
The pointy tip of a cattail jabbed me in the side of my nose and drew blood. Those cattail slews are nasty, but that is where the birds like to hide.
Like this, but ya can't shoot birds that be inked on the glass plate. I like the inked on smoke.
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
http://memory.loc.gov/cgi-bin/displayPhoto.pl?path=/award/nbhips/lca/135&topImages=13546r.jpg&topLinks=13546v.jpg&displayProfile=0&title=Shooting%20ducks%20on%20Marsh%20Lake,%20Cherry%20County&m856s=$dnbhips$f13546&dir=ammem&itemLink=D?psbib:4:./temp/~ammem_MGiN:
(http://memory.loc.gov/award/nbhips/lca/135/13546r.jpg)
Yep, that is what some of 'em look like, but most of the ones we hunted don't have standing water. It is pretty dry in SD.
Yeah, those duck don't want to stay still for the camera. ;D
Did ya notice what gun he is using?
Yup, I'd hunt with one if I had one. ;D Ain't ya glad Mr. Butcher was a lousy farmer.
Yep, it is nice to be able to look at these old pictures.
Delmonico's says ta Slim," I need some spices, extracts and some other fancy groceries, I'm gonna go down and get on the train at Maxwell and run to Omaha to the wholesalers and get us a big stock of good stuff."
Course Slim don't answer cause he ain't online, but Delmonico goes and gets on the train and heads to Omaha anyway. ;D
Just before dark the train heads into Omaha. As we head to the UP station we go through South Omaha and the famous Omaha Stockyards.
http://memory.loc.gov/cgi-bin/query/I?pan:1:./temp/~ammem_0aR4::displayType=1:m856sd=pan:m856sf=6a19941:@@@
Wish we could transfer smells. ;D
Once again, the frumpy fairy godmother frowns as she can't see the neat picture. She wittles a touch more on her new wand, then reaches into her bottomless reticule to pull out a bunch of Jonathan apples. She peels, cores and slices them, then puts them on the fire to make some apple sauce.
AnnieLee
Quote from: AnnieLee on October 24, 2004, 06:28:45 PM
. She peels, cores and slices them, then puts them on the fire to make some apple sauce.
AnnieLee
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM......
Foothills Drifter might be drawn in ta the smell of them cookin apples.............. (I been lost fer a couple a few months now :o )
Good shootin......
Vern... ;D
She gives the apples a poke, checking to see if they are tender enough to mash, then turns, thinking she saw someone coming near. Of course, Slim doesn't do anything, he's just a lump someplace.
:D
AnnieLee
Delmonico returns from Omaha, he is discussed and will find out from Slim why the stooopid links ain't workin' fer him, but only part of the time. :P
After thinkin' a bit (kinda hard sometimes) Delmonico redoes the link cause he figgered out what when wrong, maybe. ;D
Drugs and pewters don't mix and Delmonico was takin' a lot of Bennydrill last night fer a problem he didn't want to end of being a trip to thr ER. Folks at ER's don't always know what ta think of cowboy cooks who show up at there place of work. ;D
As Delnonico comes into the ranch homesite he sees the Fairy Godmother and the long lost Foothills Drifter sittin' around eatin' applesauce with a discussed look on their faces, not from the exelant applesauce, but one whiff lets Delmonico know what is wrong. :P
A quick look let's him know that he ain't just smelling things, Slim has bought hogs while Delmonico was go and has went into the hog raisin' bussiness. :P :P :P :P
http://memory.loc.gov/cgi-bin/displayPhoto.pl?path=/award/nbhips/lca/119&topImages=11972r.jpg&topLinks=11972v.jpg&displayProfile=0&title=Feeding%20hogs%20on%20the%20A.%20Fonda%20%20farm%20near%20Oconto,%20Custer%20County,%20Nebraska.&m856s=$dnbhips$f11972&dir=ammem&itemLink=D?psbib:23:./temp/~ammem_O7GC:
Delmonico figgers Slim has been watchin' "Unforgiven" again.
Delmonico sees Slim down in the hog pen, he walks down there and looks at Slim.
http://memory.loc.gov/cgi-bin/displayPhoto.pl?path=/award/nbhips/lca/145&topImages=14586r.jpg&topLinks=14586v.jpg&displayProfile=0&title=%22Grover,%22%20a%20champion%20hog%20owned%20by%20Dorsey,%20who%20raised%20thoroughbred%20Poland%20China%20hogs.%20%20Goshen%20Valley,%20Holt%20County,%20Nebraska.&m856s=$dnbhips$f14586&dir=ammem&itemLink=D?psbib:1:./temp/~ammem_kTqc::
"Slim, what in the heck are you doing with all these hogs?)
The frumpy fairy godmother gives a disgusted snort. "I think he said he's gonna rent them."
Making another face, she pulls her not so frumpy and new bandanna over her nose.
AnnieLee
With that Delmonico goes and finds some boards and makes a "WE DON'T RENT PIGS" sign and puts it up at the road that leads to the ranch site. "Well I bouth to give it up fer the night, I find us a Latin sayin' in the mornin' I got's a Latin translater bookmarked somewhere here or at work." ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on October 24, 2004, 10:16:59 PM
Delmonico sees Slim down in the hog pen, he walks down there and looks at Slim.
"Slim, what in the heck are you doing with all these hogs?)
"Well, I figgered next time I bring back some Chinese Chix from Dakota Territory, we won't have to buy bacon. We can make it ourownselves." ;D
"Hogs are nasty. I knew a hog farmer back in West Virginia. He went out to feed them one morning and had a stroke while he was in the pen. The hogs ate him.
"A few years later, I was in Germany, on a field trip with some kindergarten kids to get punkins at a farm. the hogs there were gigantic and scared all the wee children. The hogs were bashing their heads against the barriers, trying to get to the kids.
"I don't like hogs. "
With a grimace, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother gets up to wash the dishes.
My wife's family used to raise them. She told me the sows like eating the piglets just after they are born. :o
"I once watched a momma cat give birth to a litter. One of the kittens was badly deformed, so Momma cat ate it. But that was an act of mercy, unlike hogs.
"Gads, I think I am going to upchuck my apple sauce."
She gets up and takes off on a run.
"Is it bad applesauce or did ya just get grossed out?"
From a distance:
"The applesauce is great, have some! My stomach has been off of late and the smells combined with the mental imagery got to me." General sounds of retching follow...
Slim takes his canteen and handkerchief over to the frumpy fairy godmother. "Her are my canteen and handkerchief. I figgered ya might be in need of them."
She takes the canteen and handerkief gratefully. Wetting down the cloth, she wipes off her face, then swirls some of the water in her mouth, trying to clear the taste.
"Thank you, Slim. When is the breeze gonna change direction and take the scent away?"
AnnieLee
"You are very welcome. I am not sure when the wind will change. But, hawgs have at least one redeeming quality, which Gopher Grease will appreciate, they love to eat snakes. They seem impervious to snake venom. Don't know if their hide is that tough or they are immune to it."
Well get some good wood ta use when ya smoke those hams and bacon. I think I've came up with a cold and am going to go lay down. :P
With that Delmonico heads to the dugout, lays down and takes a nap. ;)
"Is hickory a good wood fer smokin' hawgs? I was wondering what happened ta ya. Have a good nap. I will go out and ride the range awhile ta ward off rustlers and 'yotes." Slim saddles his horse and rides toward the herd.
As he's takin' his nap, Delmonico has a nightmare about the trouble Slim could get into gettin' hickory wood to smoke hams and bacon with, sinch it's bout 300 miles to any hickory trees. ;D ::) ::) :o
"Trouble?" :o
She trudges back in, grumbling once again.
"Figures Delmonico would get a cold, now he can't smell the pigs. I've got a sachet of some herbs that should help that cold, want some?"
AnnieLee
What kind of herbs? :o
(http://www.fishing-in-wales.com/_pics/plantpic/sumrpics/stingnet.jpg)(http://biology.clc.uc.edu/graphics/taxonomy/plants/spermatophyta/angiosperms/dicotyledonae/Anacardiaceae/Poison%20Ivy/JSC%20981016%20Poison%20Ivy%202.JPG)
;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother grabs a stick from the pile of kindling and wings it at Slim, not realising it is the broken part of her wand.
"Chamomile, echinacea and mint. I think I have some honey to add to it."
AnnieLee
Miz Fairy Godmother those sound good with the honey. As for Slim's herbs don't worry I am imune to them, on of the luckys I guess. Course I need some sort of a break since I'm lergeic to so many other things, :D
"The one on the left makes a good tea. Ya never heard of nettle tea?"
QuoteNettle tea is good for arthristis and as a detoxifier for the blood system.
http://mi.essortment.com/stingingnettle_ord.htm
Yup and eatin' em fer greens, but tha one in yer picture has matured to much and will contain the formic acid that the little hairs contain. There is a bulb that contains it under the hair on the plant. The hairs are stiff and brittle and also hollow. When you brush up against them the hair breaks off and it stiff enough it goes onder yer slinn. The buld has a slight pressure to it and it injects the formic acid into yer skin causing the welt. This formic acid is the same chemical that stinging ants have in their stinger. The most common stinging ant in the US is the fire ant from the southern United States. ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on October 26, 2004, 12:00:45 PM
Yup and eatin' em fer greens, but tha one in yer picture has matured to much and will contain the formic acid that the little hairs contain. There is a bulb that contains it under the hair on the plant. The hairs are stiff and brittle and also hollow. When you brush up against them the hair breaks off and it stiff enough it goes onder yer slinn. The buld has a slight pressure to it and it injects the formic acid into yer skin causing the welt. This formic acid is the same chemical that stinging ants have in their stinger. The most common stinging ant in the US is the fire ant from the southern United States. ;D
... and bees. Get that bee sting kit out.
Bee venom's are an ezyme, ain't the same. ;D
Then the following site is wrong. >:(
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Formic_acid
Ok they are most likely right but it is the enyeme that causes the reaction, cause some folks like me are only "lergic to some kinds of bees. I ain't lergig to nettles, I'll say formic acid and enyemes. ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on October 26, 2004, 02:26:48 PM
Ok they are most likely right but it is the enyeme that causes the reaction, cause some folks like me are only "lergic to some kinds of bees. I ain't lergig to nettles, I'll say formic acid and enyemes. ;D
;)
"Well, I should go out and check on the herd. I'll should be back by sundown. If ya hear three quick shots, bring the cavalry." Slim saddles his horse and rides toward the herd.
She looks over to Delmonico.
"And what if we hear three slow shots? Or if we hear fifteen fast shots? Or if we hear so much stuff going off we can't keep count? Do we relax and plant daisies?"
Quote from: AnnieLee on October 26, 2004, 04:19:21 PM
She looks over to Delmonico.
"... Or if we hear so much stuff going off we can't keep count? Do we relax and plant daisies?"
"If you're gonna transplant 'em on my grave." ::)
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on October 26, 2004, 04:23:24 PM
"If you're gonna transplant 'em on my grave." ::)
"We can do that, I like daisies!" She gives a cheery smile.
"Thanks, I think." ::)
"Yer most welcome!"
The yellow dog comes walking by her with something hanging out of his mouth.
"Wait a second, I recognize that glitter! That's the hind end of my wand!" She lunges and sprawls across the dirt, getting her fingers around the end of the stick. The yellow dog clamps down, bracing his legs for some serious tugging.
"I said, let go!"
The yellow dog grins around the stick as he pulls back.
"Leggo, or I'll turn you into a hamster!"
"That yaller dawg is a good retriever, but not a good giver." ;D
A small light bulb goes off over the Fairy Godmother's head, who is now looking frumpier than ever since she is sprawled in the dirt and all. She gives the yellow dog a stare into his eyes....
"Drop!"
The stick falls out of his mouth and into her hand.
"Good boy, nice drop!" As she scritches him, he wags and licks at her face.
AnnieLee (who has one dropper and one tugger at home)
Delmonico just sits back and watches The Fairy Godmother fightin' with the stick/wand. On his lap is a Ferry Morse Nursery catalog. "I'll order a couple of peony bushes, very traditional to plant on graves cause they bloom "bout the time of Decoration Day." (old name fer memorial day)
;D ::) :o :'( ;D
Drying the dog slobbers off the broken piece of wand, she accidently moves it in a motion that could be called a "wave" and since she was thinking of hamsters and all, Slim's horse is suddenly transformed into a giant hamster.
Of course, she doesn't notice, she wants to look at that catalog!
AnnieLee
(http://teachanimalobjectivity.homestead.com/files/hamster.jpg)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Slim jumps off his hor... hamster. He pulls out his Colt and fires 3 quick shots. BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! The scream, seeing the giant hamster, and the 3 shots, combined, make the cattle stampede toward the camp. Luckily, Slim has on the other side of the herd from camp, so he was not trampled.
Just as she is about to snag the catalog from Delmonico, she hears three shots in the distance. She pauses for about a half second, listening for more, then jumps up.
"Slim's in trouble!"
She wheels to go help, when she sees a giant hamster followed by a stampede of cattle headed their way.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
Delmonico says, "I knew Slim would cause more trouble." With that he picks up his Sharps, fires a round into the ground in front of the herd. The cattle turn around and run back towards Slim.
??? ??? ??? ??? What about the Giant Hamster? Delmonico, tell us what happened to the Giant hamster when ya fired that shot that turned the cattle! No, don't tell us that they ran over the fairy godmother! ??? ??? ???
BB (who is concerned about the fairy Godmother!) :o
The yellow dog, who is hiding safely under a wagon, looks very concerned and also wants to know what happened to the Fairy Godmother.
Delmonico ain't worried bout the giant hamster or the Fairy Godmother, instead he puts a stamp on the enverlope with the order form for peonies to the Ferry Morse nursery. He then hands it to a Pony Express rider who just happens to be ridin' by. He then gets finds a board and starts carvin'.
Slim he died at daybreak
He died from a fall
He'll not see his Mother Boys
When the works all done this fall
<The yellow dog gives an incredulous look to Delmonico, then gives a low, sad, whining whimper, calling at AnnieLee to type up some kind of rescue. >
The Giant Hamster comes scampering into the camp, then rears back on it's hind legs, looming over the Fairy Godmother, its buck teeth poised for a giant *CHOMP*. The Frumpy Fairy Godmother waves the hind end of the wand, but nothing happens.
With a growl, the yellow dog leaps out from under the wagon, charging at the Giant Hamster, who now looks like one of those scary creatures from the Quiznos commercials. Right before it bites on the Frumpy Fairy Godmother, the Giant Hamster sees the dog, gives a mighty hamster squeal of dismay, and jumps into the hog pen.
Tell me it isn't so. :( Tell me that Slim wasn't trampled by the herd. He'd not dead. He can't be. :o
BTW Mrs. Slim, am I in the will? ;) ;D
Slim picks himself up and starts dusting himself off with his hat. He hears a rumbling sound and sees the cattle are stampeding toward him. What will happen to Slim? Will his 19+ children be fatherless? Will Lassie rescue Timmy from the well? ::) Tune in next time to see what happens in Newbrassky. ;D
;) Not only will our hero Slim escape and save the day, he's got hisself a new picture! What a striking fellow he is in his new picture! yeaaaaa Slim! ;D
BB
Joss House said my other hat didn't look very authentic, since I am an NCOWS member now, so I changed my avatar to a more authentic hat. ;D
Slim
Now, back to our story.
Slim sees the cattle racing towards him. He looks around for a place to hide and sees the river. Slim runs for his life towards the river. Just as he feels the hot breath of the front steer on his neck, he reaches the bank of the river and jumps. But, unbeknownst (I love that word) to him the river is low because of the recent drought. He lands in mud instead of water. The herd turns and follows the bank of the river. Slim escapes his near death experience but is a tad soiled. ::)
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on October 28, 2004, 03:43:14 PM
Slim escapes his near death experience but is a tad soiled. ::)
Is this what Bill Cosby meant when he said "First you say it then you do it."?
Did have clean underware?
Yes Mrs Creek, we found it in his saddle bags.
;D ;D ;D
The problem is my saddle bags are still attached to that giant hamster. :(
< I showed my son Will this thread last night. His comments: "19 Kids!?! How did he get nineteen kids???" And "what's Delmonico doing looking at a catalog?", and "Lookit that hamster! Bwaa haa haa haa ha!!" It was great, thank you. Meanwhile, back to the FFG and the hamster...>
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother is looking more than a bit bedraggled (I like that word) now, she's in dire need of a bath and new clothing. But she warily makes her way to the hog pen to look at the Giant Hamster. It looks up at her and bares its buck teeth. The pigs pay it no nevermind.
She scowls and waves the wand in the opposite direction and **POOF** with the scent of chicken farts, aka black powder, Slim's horse reappears. Of course, it, and the saddle bags are covered in mud. The Frumpy Fairy Godmother lets it out of the gate and says "Lassie! Timmy's fallen down the well! Go get him! Delmonico's already written his tombstone!" and then she gives it a swat on the rump. Mud splatters all over her and the horse takes off to go find Slim.
AnnieLee
Slim hears hoofbeats approaching, so he climbs out of the mud and crawls up the riverbank to see what is coming. It is his horse. "Now, I can take a bath and change my underwear." Slim takes the muddy saddle bags off the horse. He takes out a clean set of work clothes and underwear. He climbs back down the riverbank and sets his clean clothes on a dry rock. He proceeds to wash his soiled clothes and himself. He puts his clean clothes on and climbs up the riverbank. He brushes off most of the dried mud from the saddle and mounts. He reins his horse in the direction of the herd.
Delmonico comes out of the dugout after a long sleep, but finnally feelin' well for the first time this week. He thinks he is not goona drink no herb tea cause it caused him to have bad dreams about pigs and giant hamsters. He heads to the fire to get a cup of coffee to clear his head.
Must have been that Nettle tea. ;D
I'm wonderin' if The Fairy Godmother used some kind of mushroom in the tea. :o :o :o
(http://ianrpubs.unl.edu/plantdisease/graphics/mushrms1.jpg)
Like these?
Not sure, the onlt one's I ever seen were already dried. :o ::) Er rather a, well , em, ya see I ani't never seen nome of them kind of mushrooms before. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;)
Side's that my statooot of limertations has passed a couple a times. Besides that the couch was not really 75 feet tall it just looked like it. ;D
???
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on October 29, 2004, 09:28:16 AM
Slim hears hoofbeats approaching, so he climbs out of the mud and crawls up the riverbank to see what is coming. It is his horse. "Now, I can take a bath and change my underwear." Slim takes the muddy saddle bags off the horse. He takes out a clean set of work clothes and underwear. He climbs back down the riverbank and sets his clean clothes on a dry rock. He proceeds to wash his soiled clothes and himself. He puts his clean clothes on and climbs up the riverbank. He brushes off most of the dried mud from the saddle and mounts. He reins his horse in the direction of the herd.
Slim found the herd about a mile upriver. They had run through the barbed wire fence, breaking wire and posts. Slim drove the cattle back into the fenced range far enough so they wouldn't wander bad out. Slim rode back to camp to get wire and posts to fix the fence.
Slim
As sSlim rides into camp, Delmonico comes out of the dugout, still grumpy from the stupid cold from hell, more grumpy than usual. Here's some bread and some cheese and some bolonga, ya can have a samwhich, I ain't felt like cookin' fer over a week. ;D
"Sounds good ta me. I found the cattle and drove them back, but they busted the fence. So, I'm gonna hitch up a team ta the wagon and go fix the fence, after I eat some grub." Slim takes the grub from Delmonico, pours some coffee, and sits by the fire to eat.
Slim gets up from the fire. "Delmonico, I think you gave me your cold." Slim hitches the team to the wagon and loads it with the stuff to fix the fence. He starts the team toward the break in the fence. "I should be back about sundown."
Feelin' bad that Slim is runnin' the ranch all by himself and has not had a good meal in over a week, Delmonico works the rest of the afternoon fixin' a wonderful meal. When Slim does not ride in at sundown, Delmonico figgers he's really workin' hard and will be in soon, so he keeps supper warm. Fourty eight hours later supper is nothin' but a dried out over cooked mess and Delmonico realizes Slim has lied and has slipped back to Wissyconsion again fer the weekend. ??? ::)
Delmonico starts to figger out an idea to get even with Slim fer the ruined supper. >:( >:( >:( ::) ;)
The yellow dog sidles up to Delmonico, a hopeful look in his eyes. He obviously doesn't care if the food is dried out, he hasn't had a good meal in a week, either.
AnnieLee
Here ya go Yaller Dog, can you come up with an idea as to how to get Slim. I got a good one. Delmonico whispers inta the dogs ear and gets a good tail wag. ;D :o ;D ;D
Slim walks into camp barefooted and plops down next to the fire. "I was ambushed and the herd was stolen. They took the wagon and team. They took my boots and tied me to a fence post. I finally got untied and walked the 5 miles here."
The yellow dog takes pity on poor Slim and brings over a chunk of the dried up mess, dropping it on Slim's foot.
Delmonico notices there are no thorns in Slim's feet that he has walked 5 miles accross the sandhills in. ::) ::) (Go back a few pages and read about all the thorn's in the sandhills) ;D ;D
Slim pats the yellar dawg on the head, reaches down and gives the chuck of dried up mess back to the yellar dawg. "Thanks, yellar dawg, but I will just have some coffee right now." Slim pour himself some coffee and just sits and sips it.
Quote from: Delmonico on November 08, 2004, 11:27:11 AM
Delmonico notices there are no thorns in Slim's feet that he has walked 5 miles accross the sandhills in. ::) ::) (Go back a few pages and read about all the thorn's in the sandhills) ;D ;D
Slim is part Injun so his feet have thick, hard soles. :D
Delmonico knows though, that even the Indians out in that region wore mocasins with rawhide soles to protect their feet from the thorns. ;D :o ::) ;D
You are sure trying to make it hard for me. :D
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on November 08, 2004, 12:42:21 PM
You are sure trying to make it hard for me. :D
It's a tough job (like Slim's feet) but somebody's gotta do it.
AnnieLee
Slim was walking on air? ;D
Maybe he tied pieces of the fence post to his feet like Dutch clogs?
:D
AnnieLee
Yeah! That's it! ;D He whittled clogs out of some broken fence posts with his pocket knife.
(http://www.kshs.org/cool3/graphics/clogslg.jpg)
Okie, so why did he show up at the camp, barefoot?
Hmm, hmmm??? ???
AnnieLee
Delmonico sits quiet, cause him and the Yallar Dog have a plan, an evil plan. :o :o ::) ::) :P :P ;D ;)
Lest you forget: General discussions & tall tales (Moderator: Silver Creek Slim) ;D
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on November 08, 2004, 02:15:23 PM
Lest you forget: General discussions & tall tales (Moderator: Silver Creek Slim) ;D
Yeah, yeah, anyone can edit their way out of trouble. But if you did, The Frumpy Fairy Godmother might do something horrible, then the dog might clamp on to your leg, and who knows what Delmonico would concoct?
<evil laughter>
AnnieLee
:(
Quote from: AnnieLee on November 08, 2004, 01:39:45 PM
Okie, so why did he show up at the camp, barefoot?
Hmm, hmmm??? ???
AnnieLee
Okay, Slim took the clogs off just outside of camp because he didn't want to track dirt into camp. ::)
Yep, Slim is... a...
(http://www.kraftfoods.com/NR/rdonlyres/3C082BC7-0888-4CB0-87AA-CF17CAD5D6FA/0/HD_Wieners_header.jpg)
:D
AnnieLee
"Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Mayer Wiener. That is what I'd truly love to be. 'Cuz if I were an Oscar Mayer Wiener, then everyone would be in love with me." :D
Russ rides past camp and hears all the arguing. Shouts over to the camp as he rides on back to Nevada Territory from Wisconsin.
"Saw Slim on the trail and those wooden things on his feet look like they were worn down to nubbin's. I guess he could've lost them by the time he hit camp.
Russ laughs as he heads west once more, glad to be headed back to civilization.
"Thanks, Russ." :D
The yellow dog gives Slim one of those "Lucky you, some stranger riding in and saving your sorry self," looks, then munches down on the rest of the dried up dinner, wagging his tail at Delmonico's plan.
Delmonico gets up out of his bedroll and streches, he looks over by the dugout and sees the yallar dog lying on the ground, tongue hangin' out ta the side of his mouth and a blank stare in his eyes.
Delmonico goes over ta Slim's bedroll and gives it a kick. "Get up Slim, our yallar dog has died in the night, we got ta bury it for it gets warm and he starts ta smell bad. Get yer shovel and I'll get mine." :P
"It sure was a good bird dawg." :( Slim rolls out of his bedroll, shakes his extra pair of boots out (don't want critters in there) and pulls them on. He goes to his saddle and get his shovel to bury the yellar dawg.
While Slim is diggin' the hole, the Yallar dog gets up and walks over and bits Slim and the lifts his leg on Slim's bedroll. Slim has a surprised look on his face and Delmonico says, "Me and the Yallar dog were testin' ya and we were right, yer an horrible person, the kind that ""didn't cry when Ol' Yallar died"". Now all the readers will know about you." ;D ;D ;D
"I'll bet you'll really get it when the Blue Fairy Goodmother shows up." :o :o :o
"Now ya better get those big red aaaaa's and the g and h ready, cause yer gonna need them when she gets through with ya." ;D
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on November 09, 2004, 09:36:01 AM
"It sure was a good bird dawg." :( Slim rolls out of his bedroll, shakes his extra pair of boots out (don't want critters in there) and pulls them on. He goes to his saddle and get his shovel to bury the yellar dawg.
"I was sad. I don't wear my emotions on my sleeve. Now, that y'all had your fun, I'm gonna go armed to the teeth and get the beeves back. I don't except either of you to help." Slim saddles his horse, fills his saddle bags full of cartridges, grabs every gun that isn't tied down, grabs some grub, and rides off toward the rustlers.
Delmonico and the Yallar dog roll on the ground laughin (after checkin' fer cactus and sandburrs ;D) as Slim rides away huntin' fer rustlers. Cause while Slim was rushin' round Delmonico and the Yallar dog tape a sign on Slim's back that say "Kick Me." ;D ;D ;D ;D
As Slim starts to ride away, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother appears with a scattering of sawdust, gives him a kick, then another one, then aims her foot at his horse's rear, then thinks better of it it. "Naw," she says, "the horse didn't do anything wrong."
But with a stern look, she waves her newly refurbished wand and some squirmy, wriggling things are put in Slim's boots.
Delmonico says to the Fairy Godmother, "Would ya also turn Slim's horse inta a toad. ;D Cause he even got Russ ta lie fer him, bet that cost him a bit ta do. I know he didn't carve no clogs out of a fence posts, cause we sent fer Osage Orange, he could not have carved a pair of clogs cause it's too hard to carve that easily, unless he got's a Dremel tool. ;D
Portable Dremel tool. ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gives a start. "Slim...... LIED!?!?!"
**POOF** and so, Slim's horse is turned into a toad.
Quit ambushing me when I am trying to get verk done! ::)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Slim kicks off his boots. "How did those get in my boots? I shook them out 'fore I pulled them on." He dismounts, carefully walks to his boots so he don't get needles in his Injun feet, shakes the critters out, and pulls his boots on again. He remounts his horse.
POOPH! :D Slim's horse suddenly becomes a giant toad and starts leaping with Slim in the saddle.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Slim holds on tight 'cuz he don't want to land on a cactus or sand burr patch. The toad leaps toward the river. When it gets to the bank, it stops abruptly catapulting Slim off into the...
(http://www.anst.uu.se/richkels/2002-12-NZ/050-mud-pools-waioreki.jpg)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gives Delmonico and the Yellow Dog a sidelong look. "Are we satisfied? Is that enough?"
That ought ta be punishment enough fer this time. :o ::) But he's got to promise to be careful and not let himself get inta a situation that allows me ta make him out as a liar in the storyline. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Come on ta camp Slim, I feed ya the same thing I had fer supper (fer real) deer salad in sourdough biscuit. (New Idea, leftover deer steak, crushed and mayo added along with a bit of garlic powder and a bit of oregenoo. Kinda like tuna salad with a substitute.) ;D ;)
But Slim if'n Ol Yallar does die, ya got ta cry or Bill Murray ain't gonna let ya be in his Platoon. ;D ::)
With a flip of her wand, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother turns Slim's horse back to normal so he can return to camp.
Slim picks himself up outta the mud, washes his clothes, and himself. He gets his horse, mounts, and rides into camp. "I gotta stop having my horse turning into giant critters. Del, ya got any of that grub left?"
With an ever so innocent smile, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother stows away the wand and serves up some grub for Slim.
"Gonna have Bohunks help you get the cattle back? Can't let it be known that all we have are those pigs. Pig farmers are worse than sodbusters."
The yellow dog wanders up for some scritches and scraps.
"And when are ya gonna get around to naming this dog? Looks like you're stuck with him."
"Thanks for the grub. I guess I should get some Bohunks to help me get the beeves back since the law in these parts will be of little help. Besides, I don't wanna to called a hawg farmer. I kinda like the name "Ol' Yeller" but that has been used before. How 'bout Amarillo? What do ya think, Delmonico." Slim starts eaten the grub and pours some coffee.
"Armadillo? Why would you name a dog Armadillo? What, do you want him to be roadkill in about seventy five years?"
The yellow dog gives a small yip of concern and hides under the cook wagon.
"Not Armadillo, Amarillo. It means yellow in Spanish."
W'all it's better'n Butterscotch or Daffydill, but just don't have a ring to it. Sides that it's don't carry and it's too long, not a name fer a bird dog. Ya wants a short one that carries well.
Course ya could do worse and call 'im Baby Poop. ;D ;D :P But at least the Poooop part would carry in the wind. ;D
At that, the yellow dog comes out from under the wagon to sit at Delmonico's feet. His eyes squint a little as he fixes Del with a stare.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother looks from the dog to the two men.
"I don't think he'd like to be called Poop."
Quote from: AnnieLee on November 11, 2004, 03:13:07 PM
At that, the yellow dog comes out from under the wagon to sit at Delmonico's feet. His eyes squint a little as he fixes Del with a stare.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother looks from the dog to the two men.
"I don't think he'd like to be called Poop."
"Spose not. How 'bout 'Bird Killer', 'Killer' for short. That would get people's attention when ya call 'Killllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr'!"
"Kill her? Yer gonna tell that nice yellow dog to kill me??" The Frumpy Fairy Godmother reaches into her pocket for her wand.
"Not KILL HER, KILLER." ::)
She's still grumbling, but her empty hand comes out of her pocket.
"It'd be like naming a dog Sic'em."
AnnieLee(wanna see the pics of my rustic BBQ gril?)
Ya got pics, now? Sure! ;D
(Yay!! Two different views, it was two weekends ago when I was gonna try out the dutch oven. I could have cleaned it up with muriatic acid, but the look is growing on me. )
(http://members.aol.com/freyamomus/grill1.jpg)
(http://members.aol.com/freyamomus/grill2.jpg)
That is great! When ya gonna invite CAS City over for a Bar-B? ;D
Slim and Del, if you ever get out this way, we'll be cooking!
:D
AnnieLee, and now back to our regularly scheduled programming
We could name the dog Yankee and someone could tell Mathew Duncan about it and he could throw chairs around the Cantina over of TFS now that it's back up. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;)
"Maybe, but not Yellar Yankee." >:(
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother shoots a wry look at the obviously disgruntled yellow dog.
"I don't think they are really serious about naming you, pup."
The dog gives a small bark of agreement.
"Hey! How 'bout Pup?" ;D
Both heads turn to look at Slim. Two sets of eye fix the same glare on him.
"You did say Pup, not Poop, right?"
I hope he said pup, I'm the only one allowed to say poop and I 'splained it to Slim already, it's my trademark.
"PEE U PEE, not PEE OH OH PEE. Only Del can say the word spelt with the letters PEE OH OH PEE." ;D
"Hmm. I swear I saw Slim use that word someplace recently." She starts to say more, but the look from Slim zips her lips.
I said poop to a yuppie lady in a bussiness suit one day, she wern't happy with me. ;D ;D ;D
Slim, do a search and find the Czech word fer yallar.
Quote from: Delmonico on November 12, 2004, 01:18:21 PM
I said poop to a yuppie lady in a bussiness suit one day, she wern't happy with me. ;D ;D ;D
Slim, do a search and find the Czech word fer yallar.
http://www.tranexp.com:2000/InterTran?url=http%3A%2F%2F&type=text&text=yellow&from=eng&to=che
Quoteplavý, podezíravý, povahově nepevný, závidějící, zbabělý, zrádný, žárlivý, žloutek, žloutenka, žluť, žlutost, žlutý
???
One of the Bohunks leans over and whispers in the Frumpy Fairy Godmother's ear.
"Z'luty? Slutty?? That yellow dog is NOT slutty, he's MALE! Criminy! Male dogs aren't slutty, they're horndogs or humpers, not slutty, and you better not name that pup "humper!"
Now she's all in a huff.
(She may be huffy, but I nearly blew root beer through my nose, laughing when I saw that translation.)
"How 'bout Thumper? Does he like to chase jackrabbits?"
I know a bit about the Czech language, it ain't gonna sound nothin like sluttly, but you and I can't pronouce it cause we ain't Czech. ;) I'm only an honorary one. Whats yallar in German, black is swartz. blu is blue, rot is red, but I can't remember yallar. (I learnt this of paint codes of VW's)
Quote from: Delmonico on November 12, 2004, 02:01:07 PM
I know a bit about the Czech language, it ain't gonna sound nothin like sluttly, but you and I can't pronouce it cause we ain't Czech. ;) I'm only an honorary one. Whats yallar in German, black is swartz. blu is blue, rot is red, but I can't remember yallar. (I learnt this of paint codes of VW's)
Gelb is yellow in German. I learnt that from my parent's yellar VW Rabbit. ;) It was Lemon Gelb.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother takes a look at the yellow dog.
"If it makes you feel better, I once had a dog named Dawg, spelled Dee, Eh, Double you, Gee. I don't think they'll name you that."
The dog doesn't seem to be very reassured by that.
Don't like thumper, that's a rabbit, dogs need hugs, ya want me ta be a bunny hugger, I think not, I'd rather cook em and eat em than hug em.
Gelb ain't it either.
Quote from: AnnieLee on November 12, 2004, 02:43:39 PM
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother takes a look at the yellow dog.
"If it makes you feel better, I once had a dog named Dawg, spelled Dee, Eh, Double you, Gee. I don't think they'll name you that."
The dog doesn't seem to be very reassured by that.
As Russ meanders around the great prairie desert, having getting slightly disoriented on his way from Wisconsin to Nevada Territory. (probably happened to Slim if'n he wore one of those wooden things down faster than the other, went around in circles for a while). Runs across this yeller dog that thinks if Dawg was good enough for the Duke's dog, it should be good enough for me!
Not to look down on the duke but he had a cat named Gereral Lee, but the dog was just dawg? Don't seem right to give a cat such an honorable name, but to not really name a dog? :P ::) >:( ;D
Ok that gives me an idea, how about Duke? One can bellar it out and be heard fer a half mile if needed, and honorable. ;D
How bout it Yallar dog, Slim's left fer home again, we only got ta worry bout Russ T. and the fairy godmother that comes around. ::) ::)
When Slim gets back Monday if'n he objects we can have the frumpy fairy godmother turn his horse inta a porkypine, :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o ;D that would keep him busy fer days, might even need help. ;D ;D Yallar dog would you help pull porkypine quills outa Slims arse? :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P ;D ;)
As Russ gets his bearings back and starts off toward Nevada Territory again, he reflects back that the cat belonging to the "one-eyed old fat man" was General Sterling Price. And any cat that likes to drink beer is worthy of a name.
At the name of "Duke", the yellow dog stands up proudly, his head held high, and seems to smile as he ambles over to Delmonico for some scratching.
But the thought of having to pull porkypine quills from Slim's rear sends him into a fit of the trembles. :o :-\ :o :-\ :o :-\
Well then the Yallar dog is Duke as far as I'm concerned, just git yer wand ready case Slim's whines 'bout it on Monday. ;D ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother pops back in, now wearing a clean and spiffy calico dress.
"I like the name Duke. It's a good, strong name, befitting the yellow dog. If Slim gripes, aye, I'll turn his horse into a giant porcupine."
With a smile of mischief, she brandishes her refurbished wand.
If he whines about his horse bein' turned inta a porkypine, turn it next inta a giant dung beatle. :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o
Whatch him try ta ride that with quills in his arse as it rolls a giant ball of poop 'cross the prairie. :o :o :o
I really like that idea cause I get ta say poop again. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
The fairy godmother tolt Delmonico the problems they are havin' in TFS chatroom have to be Slim's fault like everyting else so he comes over here and puts sandburrs in sSlim's soogun and has Duke poop in his extra pair of boots. ;D ;D ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother looks on in astonishment.
"Dang, in boots? That's just... .nasty. Slim will have to think of something good to save his boots. Oh, by the way, I don't think the dog would like to be called 'Dukey.' That's another word for that thing Slim isn't allowed to say and you, Delmonico, are too fond of saying!"
Slim rides into camp from the weekend in Wiscoooooooooooooooonsin. "Have ya named the yellar dog, yet?"
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on November 15, 2004, 11:07:04 AM
Slim rides into camp from the weekend in Wiscoooooooooooooooonsin. "Have ya named the yellar dog, yet?"
With a small **poof**, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother disappears with a scattering of sawdust. The dog and Delmonico can handle this one.
Yep we named it Duke, kinda sounds like poop, but not really. ;D ;D
"Duke sounds good ta me. For some reason that name sounds familar. ???" Slim dismounts his horse and unsaddles it. "I need to put on my other pair of boots 'cuz these are wet from crossing all them rivers."
With a wide eyed look, Duke looks at Delmonico, then hides.
<Did Slim put his boots on? Did his toes squish? Was Duke embarrassed? Did Delmonico laugh? Inquiring minds wanna know....>
Quote from: AnnieLee on November 16, 2004, 12:19:47 PM
<Did Slim put his boots on? Did his toes squish? Was Duke embarrassed? Did Delmonico laugh? Inquiring minds wanna know....>
Is the anticipation killin' ya? ;D
Slim
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on November 16, 2004, 12:36:25 PM
Quote from: AnnieLee on November 16, 2004, 12:19:47 PM
<Did Slim put his boots on? Did his toes squish? Was Duke embarrassed? Did Delmonico laugh? Inquiring minds wanna know....>
Is the anticipation killin' ya? ;D
It's getting there... :P
Slim walks over and sits down on his soogun to change his boots.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUCH!
"What the...?" He opens his soogun to find sand burrs in it. "How did those get in there?" He pulls his gloves on and picks the burrs out of his soogun. He takes his gloves off and sits back down on his soogun. He takes his wet boots off and picks up a boot.
Duke has a change of heart and dashes out from his hiding place. He takes the toe of the boot in his mouth and tries to yank it away from Slim.
"What are ya doin' Duke? Left go of my boot!"
He feels bad cause I had him deposit cannie fecal matter in yer boots (ya'll thought I was gonna say poop ;D) We had trouble with TFS chat room kickin' us out and we figgered that everyting is yer fault so we'd get even with ya. ;D ;D ;D ;D
It was spooky Slim, I was outside the chat room lookin' at the folks chatin' and it said I was one. Was it an "outa compooter experience?" ??? ??? ??? ::) ;D
Duke lets go of the boot. "This time, it was not my fault. I was no where near TFS chat room." Slim takes a whiff of the boot. "Whoa! That's nasty!" He shakes the fecal matter outta his boots. He puts on his wet boots, takes his "soiled" boots to the river and washes them out.
Quote from: Delmonico on November 16, 2004, 01:18:37 PM
It was spooky Slim, I was outside the chat room lookin' at the folks chatin' and it said I was one. Was it an "outa compooter experience?" ??? ??? ??? ::) ;D
I wouldn't doubt it any. ;D
Slim
takes his "soiled" boots to the river ;D ;D ;D
Ya know the polite period name for poop in a chamber pot is "Night Soil". Big cities used ta have guys that went round and charged to empty chamber pots. They were called "night soil men". They took it away and sold it to potassium nitrate makers so it could be used to make blackpowder.
Ya could have made poweder outa that dog poop. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
"No thanks. I will buy my powder from the mercantile." ::)
Duke looks a little dogish (he's too cool to look sheep-ish), but thinks his night soil smelled so strong because of all the garlic Delmonico put in the food.
It ain't me it's Gopher Grease that's put's all the garlic in the food and he ain't had time ta help here cause he gots a new 9mm pistol and he thoughts he had to make 500 pounds of booolits fer it befer he returned my lead pot and booolit mould. ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on November 16, 2004, 02:00:39 PM
It ain't me it's Gopher Grease that's put's all the garlic in the food and he ain't had time ta help here cause he gots a new 9mm pistol and he thoughts he had to make 500 pounds of booolits fer it befer he returned my lead pot and booolit mould. ;D
What's he want one of those newfrangled pistols fer? He can't shoot is at a CAS match. ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on November 16, 2004, 02:00:39 PM
It ain't me it's Gopher Grease that's put's all the garlic in the food and he ain't had time ta help here cause he gots a new 9mm pistol and he thoughts he had to make 500 pounds of booolits fer it befer he returned my lead pot and booolit mould. ;D
500 POUNDS?? Tell him to come to Virginny and get the ballast out of my sailboat! If he can get it, he can have it, but I'd like it if he made me some .454 250 grainers from it.
Russ T. makes a quick u turn somewhere around Salt Lake.
Did someone make reference to Chamber pots and nitrates? Must I take umberage (did I really use a word like that ??? ;D ???, or just use the nitrates my family used to collect? ::) :P ::) and make more stinkin' rounds?
Russ T, your picture has digressed. ;D
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on November 17, 2004, 08:38:29 AM
Russ T, your picture has digressed. ;D
T'uther one was taken late at night in some gold field saloon. I've had a good night's sleep or two since, and it freshen'd me up. ::) ::) ;D ;D
Quote from: Russ T Chambers on November 17, 2004, 10:10:24 AM
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on November 17, 2004, 08:38:29 AM
Russ T, your picture has digressed. ;D
T'uther one was taken late at night in some gold field saloon. I've had a good night's sleep or two since, and it freshen'd me up. ::) ::) ;D ;D
That's fer sure. ;D
Slim
If'n yer rounds don't take down knock down's use black powder, that'l put more poop in yer rounds.
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
"Duke, ya want ta go ta the Dakota Territory with me, for several days, and get some Chinese Chix? I'll be leaving on Friday."
Duke, stay here with us and we'll think up a bunch a meeestuff fer Slim while he's gone. ;D :o Sides that he's got a couple a dogs ta go. Stay here and we'll take some time and go find some Prairie Chickens, Slim ain't thought bout huntin' them and he's right here in some of the best Prairie Chicken huntin' in the worrld.
Duke ya'd a thought Mr. Gooooogle would a tolt him that. ;D ;D
"Duke, which one looks tastier?"
(http://www.elmspuzzles.com/gallery/Hautman/pheasant%20stamp.jpg) (http://www.rt66.com/~kjherman/audubon/prairie-chicken_lesser3.jpg)
Duke ambles over in some randomly bowlegged way (like his namesake) and takes a look at the pictures. Of course, it looks like multicolored paper to him, so he just sniffs at it and sits, giving Slim a perplexed look.
Duke, Slim is tryin' ta flim flam ya again, that Chinese Chicken picture is an idealized arteeests rendition of a bird introduced from England in the late 1880's. (Figger that little triva out, chinese pheasants from England?)
The Prairie Chicken is a photo and shows the true image of the Lesser Prairie Chicken of the Southern Plains, but not the Greater Prairie Chicken of the Northern Plains where we are. (Note the NM for New Mexico on the photo.) Oh don't forget we will also see some Sharptailed Grouse here also. ;D
Is this better?
(http://www.ngpc.state.ne.us/wildlife/guides/birds/images/large/123.jpg)
"Duke, Dakota was Greater Prairie Chickens and Sharptail Grouse, but also has:
Hungarian Partridge
(http://www.state.nd.us/gnf/images/photos/up-gam-id-hun-15.jpg)
Chukars
(http://www.travel.com.cy/Bird%20-%20Alectoris%20Chukar.jpg)
and Cottontail Rabbits.
(http://www.entm.purdue.edu/wildlife/cottontail.jpg)
Those Cottontails don't run as fast as these Jacks and they are alot more tender."
Poor Duke is just sitting there, wondering why the two legs are arguing over some colored paper.
Duke he's tryin ta mislead ya with false information, now we caught him on the Lesser/Greater Prairie chicken thin' now he 's gotta go back and google when Hun's invaded Newbrasskeuy and the Dakotas, bet it ain't till the 1970's. ;D
Also he's gonna work ya hard, hold out fer a good wage and benifits. ;D
"Duke, if ya flush a bird and I cripple it, when ya catch it ya can eat it." "Every bunny ya catch, ya can eat."
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother pops back in, with a sprinkling of sawdust.
"Duke, better watch them bunnies. I don't know when they stop being full of worms. You don't want your innards crawling with worms."
AnnieLee
Quote from: AnnieLee on November 18, 2004, 10:44:13 AM
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother pops back in, with a sprinkling of sawdust.
"Duke, better watch them bunnies. I don't know when they stop being full of worms. You don't want your innards crawling with worms."
AnnieLee
"Sorry Duke, I fergot about that. And ya don't want fleas, neither. So, stay away from the bunnies."
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on November 18, 2004, 10:47:45 AM
Quote from: AnnieLee on November 18, 2004, 10:44:13 AM
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother pops back in, with a sprinkling of sawdust.
"Duke, better watch them bunnies. I don't know when they stop being full of worms. You don't want your innards crawling with worms."
AnnieLee
"Sorry Duke, I fergot about that. And ya don't want fleas, neither. So, stay away from the bunnies."
"When do they stop being fulla worms? Doesn't the first hard frost have something to do with it?"
AnnieLee
Quote from: AnnieLee on November 18, 2004, 10:53:07 AM
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on November 18, 2004, 10:47:45 AM
Quote from: AnnieLee on November 18, 2004, 10:44:13 AM
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother pops back in, with a sprinkling of sawdust.
"Duke, better watch them bunnies. I don't know when they stop being full of worms. You don't want your innards crawling with worms."
AnnieLee
"Sorry Duke, I fergot about that. And ya don't want fleas, neither. So, stay away from the bunnies."
"When do they stop being fulla worms? Doesn't the first hard frost have something to do with it?"
AnnieLee
I think so. I am not an expert on bunnies, but have been told they can be wormy during the summer. In the south half of WI (where I live), the bunny season starts mid Oct. The the north half, the season starts mid Sept. So, temp sounds like it has something to do with it. My dog caught a bunny in the summer and couldn't kill it because of all the fleas biting her. Del, do ya have any insight into bunnies?
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on November 18, 2004, 11:04:22 AM
Quote from: AnnieLee on November 18, 2004, 10:53:07 AM
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on November 18, 2004, 10:47:45 AM
Quote from: AnnieLee on November 18, 2004, 10:44:13 AM
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother pops back in, with a sprinkling of sawdust.
"Duke, better watch them bunnies. I don't know when they stop being full of worms. You don't want your innards crawling with worms."
AnnieLee
"Sorry Duke, I fergot about that. And ya don't want fleas, neither. So, stay away from the bunnies."
"When do they stop being fulla worms? Doesn't the first hard frost have something to do with it?"
AnnieLee
I think so. I am not an expert on bunnies, but have been told they can be wormy during the summer. In the south half of WI (where I live), the bunny season starts mid Oct. The the north half, the season starts mid Sept. So, temp sounds like it has something to do with it. My dog caught a bunny in the summer and couldn't kill it because of all the fleas biting her. Del, do ya have any insight into bunnies?
My dogs killed two bunnies this summer. I had to watch their poop for a few weeks to make sure they were ok (Yep, I got to say poop!). Yeah, Del, what's the word on bunnies?
Yer thinkin' of hook worm, it goes dormant in could weather most of the time and is not a problem to humans if ya don't eat the rabbit guts or walk barefoot in rabbit poop with bare feet. This used ta be common among rural folks who did chores bare foot. The real one to worry about with rabbits is tularemia or tularaemia and is a disease similar to Boooobonic Plaaage.
It is spread by flees, ticks and field dressin' rabbits. Most infected ones die off after one or two hard frosts. My family always used rubber gloves when dressin' rabbits and only after a hard frost. If the liver of a rabbit does not look normal in any way, do not continue and wash hands verry well. Today most outbreaks are spotted very quickly and when there is an outbreak do not handle any rabbits or squirrels cause squirrels get it to along with any other rodent.
Bugs bunny claims to have it in one cartoon and scares the bejeebers out of Elmar Fudd. The funny thing is this disease was reconized in the 1920 and named, although many call it rabbit fever just as Bugs and Elmer did. This cartoon was made in the 1930's when there was a lot of incedints of it because poor rural families ate a lot of rabbit at all times of the year. My mother had a cousin die of this disease in the early 1940's and I think that is why we were always so careful with rabbits.
Now as for the rest, they are delishious when properly cooked. There are many good recipeeees for them. Not a true historic one, but slow cooked in mushroom soup is good. It also gives you no fuss gravy fer the biscuits. ;D My self I like the taste of wild rabbit (cottontail) better than domestic rabbits. Just personal. But at family picnics for the Hickey side of the family I always looked over the fried chcken that is at every large family picnic. I was lookin' fer the ones with four drumsticks, cause I like rabbit better than chicken. ;D ;D ;D
Did I mention that many of my Mothers, Uncles and two of her brothers used to raise rabbits fer eatin'.
Fergot ta mention, no jokes bout Hickey picnics, thats the Scots side of the family, need to do some research sometime. They might just attack wearin' kilts, bet a claymore would really do a good job beheadin' rabbits. ;D ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on November 18, 2004, 12:44:03 PM
Fergot ta mention, no jokes bout Hickey picnics, thats the Scots side of the family, need to do some research sometime. They might just attack wearin' kilts, bet a claymore would really do a good job beheadin' rabbits. ;D ;D
Won't see me making fun of the Scot's, I have a family clan kilt. But I'd rather have a Katana than a claymore.
AnnieLee
(http://www.sirbubba.com/dev/oldschool/katana.jpg)
(http://www.medievalrepro.com/Images/claymore.JPG)
Quote from: Delmonico on November 18, 2004, 12:40:22 PM
Yer thinkin' of hook worm, it goes dormant in could weather most of the time and is not a problem to humans if ya don't eat the rabbit guts or walk barefoot in rabbit poop with bare feet. This used ta be common among rural folks who did chores bare foot. The real one to worry about with rabbits is tularemia or tularaemia and is a disease similar to Boooobonic Plaaage.
It is spread by flees, ticks and field dressin' rabbits. Most infected ones die off after one or two hard frosts. My family always used rubber gloves when dressin' rabbits and only after a hard frost. If the liver of a rabbit does not look normal in any way, do not continue and wash hands verry well. Today most outbreaks are spotted very quickly and when there is an outbreak do not handle any rabbits or squirrels cause squirrels get it to along with any other rodent.
Bugs bunny claims to have it in one cartoon and scares the bejeebers out of Elmar Fudd. The funny thing is this disease was reconized in the 1920 and named, although many call it rabbit fever just as Bugs and Elmer did. This cartoon was made in the 1930's when there was a lot of incedints of it because poor rural families ate a lot of rabbit at all times of the year. My mother had a cousin die of this disease in the early 1940's and I think that is why we were always so careful with rabbits.
Now as for the rest, they are delishious when properly cooked. There are many good recipeeees for them. Not a true historic one, but slow cooked in mushroom soup is good. It also gives you no fuss gravy fer the biscuits. ;D My self I like the taste of wild rabbit (cottontail) better than domestic rabbits. Just personal. But at family picnics for the Hickey side of the family I always looked over the fried chcken that is at every large family picnic. I was lookin' fer the ones with four drumsticks, cause I like rabbit better than chicken. ;D ;D ;D
Did I mention that many of my Mothers, Uncles and two of her brothers used to raise rabbits fer eatin'.
This is how dogs get tapeworms from rabbits.
http://www.marvistavet.com/html/body_tapeworm.html
Quote from: AnnieLee on November 18, 2004, 01:06:04 PM
Quote from: Delmonico on November 18, 2004, 12:44:03 PM
Fergot ta mention, no jokes bout Hickey picnics, thats the Scots side of the family, need to do some research sometime. They might just attack wearin' kilts, bet a claymore would really do a good job beheadin' rabbits. ;D ;D
Won't see me making fun of the Scot's, I have a family clan kilt. But I'd rather have a Katana than a claymore.
AnnieLee
My great grandmother was a
(http://store1.yimg.com/I/4crests_1820_3092783)
Ain't tha arch on the bottom sposed ta be yaller. ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on November 18, 2004, 01:24:58 PM
Ain't tha arch on the bottom sposed ta be yaller. ;D ;D ;D
What are ya implying? >:(
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on November 18, 2004, 01:16:49 PM
Quote from: Delmonico on November 18, 2004, 12:40:22 PM
Yer thinkin' of hook worm, it goes dormant in could weather most of the time and is not a problem to humans if ya don't eat the rabbit guts or walk barefoot in rabbit poop with bare feet. This used ta be common among rural folks who did chores bare foot. The real one to worry about with rabbits is tularemia or tularaemia and is a disease similar to Boooobonic Plaaage.
It is spread by flees, ticks and field dressin' rabbits. Most infected ones die off after one or two hard frosts. My family always used rubber gloves when dressin' rabbits and only after a hard frost. If the liver of a rabbit does not look normal in any way, do not continue and wash hands verry well. Today most outbreaks are spotted very quickly and when there is an outbreak do not handle any rabbits or squirrels cause squirrels get it to along with any other rodent.
Bugs bunny claims to have it in one cartoon and scares the bejeebers out of Elmar Fudd. The funny thing is this disease was reconized in the 1920 and named, although many call it rabbit fever just as Bugs and Elmer did. This cartoon was made in the 1930's when there was a lot of incedints of it because poor rural families ate a lot of rabbit at all times of the year. My mother had a cousin die of this disease in the early 1940's and I think that is why we were always so careful with rabbits.
Now as for the rest, they are delishious when properly cooked. There are many good recipeeees for them. Not a true historic one, but slow cooked in mushroom soup is good. It also gives you no fuss gravy fer the biscuits. ;D My self I like the taste of wild rabbit (cottontail) better than domestic rabbits. Just personal. But at family picnics for the Hickey side of the family I always looked over the fried chcken that is at every large family picnic. I was lookin' fer the ones with four drumsticks, cause I like rabbit better than chicken. ;D ;D ;D
Did I mention that many of my Mothers, Uncles and two of her brothers used to raise rabbits fer eatin'.
This is how dogs get tapeworms from rabbits.
http://www.marvistavet.com/html/body_tapeworm.html
Here's a weird thing. I live in the middle of the woods, and my dogs get ticks all the time. But in the four years I've lived there, I haven't seen a flea.
???
AnnieLee
Quote from: AnnieLee on November 18, 2004, 01:50:34 PM
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on November 18, 2004, 01:16:49 PM
Quote from: Delmonico on November 18, 2004, 12:40:22 PM
Yer thinkin' of hook worm, it goes dormant in could weather most of the time and is not a problem to humans if ya don't eat the rabbit guts or walk barefoot in rabbit poop with bare feet. This used ta be common among rural folks who did chores bare foot. The real one to worry about with rabbits is tularemia or tularaemia and is a disease similar to Boooobonic Plaaage.
It is spread by flees, ticks and field dressin' rabbits. Most infected ones die off after one or two hard frosts. My family always used rubber gloves when dressin' rabbits and only after a hard frost. If the liver of a rabbit does not look normal in any way, do not continue and wash hands verry well. Today most outbreaks are spotted very quickly and when there is an outbreak do not handle any rabbits or squirrels cause squirrels get it to along with any other rodent.
Bugs bunny claims to have it in one cartoon and scares the bejeebers out of Elmar Fudd. The funny thing is this disease was reconized in the 1920 and named, although many call it rabbit fever just as Bugs and Elmer did. This cartoon was made in the 1930's when there was a lot of incedints of it because poor rural families ate a lot of rabbit at all times of the year. My mother had a cousin die of this disease in the early 1940's and I think that is why we were always so careful with rabbits.
Now as for the rest, they are delishious when properly cooked. There are many good recipeeees for them. Not a true historic one, but slow cooked in mushroom soup is good. It also gives you no fuss gravy fer the biscuits. ;D My self I like the taste of wild rabbit (cottontail) better than domestic rabbits. Just personal. But at family picnics for the Hickey side of the family I always looked over the fried chcken that is at every large family picnic. I was lookin' fer the ones with four drumsticks, cause I like rabbit better than chicken. ;D ;D ;D
Did I mention that many of my Mothers, Uncles and two of her brothers used to raise rabbits fer eatin'.
This is how dogs get tapeworms from rabbits.
http://www.marvistavet.com/html/body_tapeworm.html
Here's a weird thing. I live in the middle of the woods, and my dogs get ticks all the time. But in the four years I've lived there, I haven't seen a flea.
???
AnnieLee
Ya are verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry lucky. We have had multiple infestations in the 12 years we have lived in the Northwoods. :(
Fleas seem to often run in cycles, in 98 the whole town had them, you could not hardly keep them under control. Be patient the time will come. :o
Oh if ya get a chance since Slim is leavin' fer a few days would ya wave yer wand and turn the shot in his shells to styyyrreeefoam. ;D ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on November 18, 2004, 02:01:42 PM
Fleas seem to often run in cycles, in 98 the whole town had them, you could not hardly keep them under control. Be patient the time will come. :o
Oh if ya get a chance since Slim is leavin' fer a few days would ya wave yer wand and turn the shot in his shells to styyyrreeefoam. ;D ;D
I don't need any help missing. I do a good job of that on my own. ::) I think the main problem is my follow-thru.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gives them a look.
"So, Slim's leaving, does that mean Delmonico is going to go get the cattle?"
AnnieLee
Slim looks at Delmonico in an inquizitive way.
Poof, the cattle are rounded up, branded and behavin, themselves, cyber ranchin' is easy as long as Slim stays out of trouble. Ya want ta enroll in Delmonico's School of Shotgun Shootin'? I still wear a 13D, bet the Fairy Godmother would run the trap fer us. ;D :o ::) :P
Quote from: Delmonico on November 18, 2004, 03:17:22 PM
Poof, the cattle are rounded up, branded and behavin, themselves, cyber ranchin' is easy as long as Slim stays out of trouble. Ya want ta enroll in Delmonico's School of Shotgun Shootin'? I still wear a 13D, bet the Fairy Godmother would run the trap fer us. ;D :o ::) :P
I think I will take a raincheck on that shootin school. :o
It's rainin' here now. ;D ;D Gotta run see what kinda mess yer in when ya get back. ::) :o ;D
The FFG (does that mean the Frumpy Fairy Godmother shoots blackpowder?) grumbles.
"I think Delmonico stole my wand. The next wand I bring will be a ballbat."
"Well, Duke, it is time to decide fer it is time fer me to head northeast . Ya goin' wit me to Dakota and stayin' in Newbrassky?"
Duke runs up to Slim to get some petting and scritching and all that, then runs back and sits next to a dutch oven. He knows where the good food comes from.
:D
AnnieLee
"Okay, Duke. Try ta keep the FFG and Delmonico outta trouble. I'll see y'all on the 29th." Slim mounts his horse and rides northeast.
Delmonico comes riddin' up to the ranch with a trimmed pine tree 'bout 50 feet long. Gettin' out a PHD he digs a hole 'bout 3 feet deep. Diggin' down in his saddle bags, Delmonico gets out somthin' that looks like black cloth. ??? ???
Workin' on the top of the pole, Delmonico attaches the black cloth to the pole. The big end is then dropped in the hole and he tamps dirt in the hole to hold the pole up. Stepin' back to admire his work, Delmonico walks away snickerin' to him self. He then walks up to Duke a whispers somethin' in the yallar dogs ear. With a dog smirk on his face, Duke looks up and wags his tail and there flyin' over the ranch is a 6'X4' Jolly Roger. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on November 28, 2004, 08:47:32 PM
With a dog smirk on his face, Duke looks up and wags his tail and there flyin' over the ranch is a 6'X4' Jolly Roger. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
HAR! Shiver me timbers. ;D
A Jolly Roger!?!
Did it look like this?
(http://www.cosmosmith.com/images/pirates/jollyro13.gif)
Or maybe like this?
(http://www.cosmosmith.com/images/pirates/jollyro5.gif)
Or how about this one? This one was Blackbeard's:
(http://www.cosmosmith.com/images/pirates/jollyro8.gif)
:D
AnnieLee
Slim rides into camp with his saddle bags full of Chinese Chix. "Did the Dread Pirate Roberts move in?" ???
Maybe not. None of those flags is the flag of Bartholomew Roberts ;D
???
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on November 29, 2004, 10:14:26 AM
???
Nothing to do with "The princess bridw". Barth Roberts was the Real Life Dread Pirate Roberts.
Pirate career circa1719-1723. ;D
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on November 29, 2004, 10:24:33 AM
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on November 29, 2004, 10:14:26 AM
???
Nothing to do with "The princess bridw". Barth Roberts was the Real Life Dread Pirate Roberts.
Pirate career circa1719-1723. ;D
Thanks, ST.
It isn't "Talk Like A Pirate Day". That's September 19th. ???
The Dread Pirate?
(http://www.cosmosmith.com/images/pirates/jollyro11.gif)
and
(http://www.cosmosmith.com/images/pirates/jollyro9.gif)
:D
AnnieLede
QuoteMary (Read), Anne (Bonney), Calico Jack, and the crew were arrested and, on November 28, 1720, they were all sentenced to be hanged. Mary and Anne both asked for pardons due to their pregnancy. The court wouldn't convict a pregnant woman and kill her unborn, innocent child, too. So they were both sentenced to life in jail. It is unknown whether either of them actually was pregnant--some say both, some say neither. I think in my own little way that it's a lot more likely that Anne was than Mary.
Delmonico, is this it?
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on November 29, 2004, 10:27:28 AM
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on November 29, 2004, 10:24:33 AM
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on November 29, 2004, 10:14:26 AM
???
Nothing to do with "The princess bridw". Barth Roberts was the Real Life Dread Pirate Roberts.
Pirate career circa1719-1723. ;D
Thanks, ST.
It isn't "Talk Like A Pirate Day". That's September 19th. ???
I'm a pirate at heart all year long ;D
Quote from: AnnieLee on November 29, 2004, 10:34:52 AM
The Dread Pirate?
(http://www.cosmosmith.com/images/pirates/jollyro11.gif)
and
(http://www.cosmosmith.com/images/pirates/jollyro9.gif)
:D
That be the one aye lassie.
AnnieLede
Speaking of Jolly Rogers, here's the top of Will Brigand's ammo crate, made by Sgt. John Chapman.
I'm not posting the pic because it is huge and I don't feel like resizing it, so here is the link:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v114/Sgt_John_Chapman/More%20Crates/WillBrigandsCrateTopA.jpg
AnnieLee
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v114/Sgt_John_Chapman/More%20Crates/WillBrigandsCrateTopA.jpg)
The CAS City software resizes it automatically.
Slim
The first one with the skull and crossbones, kinda like the poison label. :o :o
I can't tell you why till tommorow though Slim. :D ;D ;D ???
Quote from: Delmonico on November 29, 2004, 12:23:14 PM
The first one with the skull and crossbones, kinda like the poison label. :o :o
I can't tell you why till tommorow though Slim. :D ;D ;D ???
:(
Thank you, Slim.
Will loves that crate.
AnnieLee
Quote from: AnnieLee on November 29, 2004, 12:57:27 PM
Thank you, Slim.
Will loves that crate.
AnnieLee
You're welcome.
Confused as to what Delmonico is up to, ;D ;D ::) Slim looks around the ranch site to see what else he can see. Besides the Jolly Roger on the pole the onluy other thin' unusual is a large board with on end fastened down on the bank and the other end hangin' out over the Dismal river. ??? ??? ;D In fact this board is large enough that many would call it a plank. :o ;D
Will Slim be able to sleep tonite? Or will he be kept awake all night tryin' to figger out what is goin' on?
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother fizzles in with a scattering of sawdust, then takes a look at that "plank."
"Well, considering Delmonico, that might very well be the poop deck."
With a grin on both their faces Delmonico and the yallar dog Duke go inta the dugout where Delmonico spreads out his soogun. The yallar dog curls up at his feet as Slim and the Frumpy Fairy Godmother sit around the campfire and wonder what he could be up this time. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;)
Not bein' able to figger out what Delmonico is up to the Fairy Godmother leaves with her wand that has been repaired with rawhide. Slim does not even notice the sprinkle of sawdust that settles in his beard, cause he is a sleep, sitin' up by the now diein' fire. Slim bein' asleep does not also notice the drool slidin' inta his beard, a common thin' ta happen to those who fall asleep sittin up. :P :P :P ::)
If he would have not been asleep he would have noticed a shadowy figure leave the dug out in the dim light of the almost dead campfire and walk out on to the plank. If he had been watchin' he would have seen the dark figue lift his full lenth flannel night shirt and would have hear a tricklein' sound for a short bit before the figure drops the nightshirt and slipped back inta the dugout. ;D ;D :D :D :P ::) :o ;) :o :o 8)
Sometimes it's too dark ta see a full moon. :P :P :P :P :o ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on November 29, 2004, 11:04:06 PM
Sometimes it's too dark ta see a full moon. :P :P :P :P :o ;D
They call it "New Moon" ;D
The full moon was on Friday night. ::)
As Slim rides back to the ranch fer dinner (noon meal ;)) he notices Delmonico cookin'. Coverin' his whole head is a silk bandanna, no shirt, pants held up by a hemp rope and no boots, just bare feet. In his hand is a Chef's knife almost as large as a sword. There is even a patch over his left eye. :o
On the table is a big pile of hardtack, near the dugout is an old wooden chest and a hole dug in the ground. ;D ;D
"Del, ya turn into a pirate or something?" ???
No, why do you ask such a silly question? ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on November 30, 2004, 01:09:56 PM
No, why do you ask such a silly question? ;D
"Cuz of the Jolly Roger, the "divin" board, the hanky-head, eye patch, the long knife, etc. It just looks like you'z a marooned pirate."
I bought the flag in a shop in Maxwell cheap after Halloween, thought puttin' it up on a pole would help you find yer way to the range easier since ya get lost so easy. The bandanna I always wear cookin' surprised ya never noticed. All my clothes but this extra pair of pants I washed this mornin' cause I don't get them washed fallin' in the river like you do. Includin' my socks, I don't want to wear my boots with out socks.
The knife is now one of my trademarks, paid $3 at a garage sale for it. I got an ember in my eye this mornin' and the light hurts it so I'm restin' it.
I put that board out over my best fishin' hole, I use it to hold my trot lines, we're havin' catfish fer dinner ya know.
I can't belive you thought I was becomin' a pirate. Would have to wait till the 1970's fer someone to attack on this river. Sides that what would yuppies in canoes have that I could want, 'FREEZE DRIED ICE CREAM?"
Slim you worry to much! :o :o ::) ::) ;D ;D ;D :D :D :D ;)
"How duz ya not get burrs in yer feet walk'n 'round bare foot?"
I never set up a cook camp in a sand burr patch. ;D
::)
Well if my present attire makes you that nervous, I'll just go inta the dugout and find sumthin' ta change into. :o :o :o ;D ???
"A saloon dress?" ;D
With that Delmonico comes out of the dugout wearin' a long sleeved, old timey, striped wool bathin, suit and hands one ta Slim. Go in there and change, I'll let ya be the first dive off the board, just to show you I ain't as mean as the folks who are follin' this story think I am. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
"Yain't gonna get me in one of those thangs!"
Ok Slim if'n you want to skinny dip :o :o :othat's fine but the first jump is still yours if you want it. :)
Sneak. Sneak. Sneak.
Stoney looks around, writes some notes on his pad on skulks outta here. ;D
"I'll just use my own woolies. Those look like prison clothes."
Sounds good, last one in is a rotten egg.
That reminds me Slim, can you bring us some fresh eggs back this weekend. Did you notice the beak in yer scrammbled eggs this mornin'. ::) :o :P ;D
"Is the water deep enough under that plank so I won't hit my noggin on the bottom? Yeah, I spit it out. I will bring a couple dozen back."
Yep it is at least 12 feet deep. Here go out on the end and check it.
(Delmonico then hands Slim a 12 foot pole.) ;D ;D
Duke, the yellow dog, starts shaking his head back and forth rapidly in a "don't do it, Slim!" gesture.
Slim hesitats for a minute before jumpin' in, he is then knocked over aby a Yaller dog (Lab) runni' full bore to the board. The dog jumps in and swims around. He then comes out and jumps in again.
Delmonico is just rollin' on the ground laughin' cause he got Slim again, Slim been thinkin' there is somethin' wrong with the swinnin' hole and now the dog has proved it wrong. Delmonico knows better than play tricks on yaller, brown or black dogs. (labs) cause they will get revenge, Delmonico has had labs and he has seen them get revenge of him and others. ;D ;D
Quote from: stoneypete on December 02, 2004, 04:40:41 AM
Sneak. Sneak. Sneak.
Stoney looks around, writes some notes on his pad on skulks outta here. ;D
Ya did 'neak in. I didn't even see ya.
Slim decides it's safe by watching Duke jump in a few times. Slim jumps off the board and does a cannonball dive which gets Delmonico wet.
Delmonico runs back to the dugout and dries off and puts back on his "WINTER" clothin'. Duke paddles around a Slim who is now tryin' to get out of the water before he turns any bluer. :o :o
"Durn I thought I was gonna have to freeze my own self before I got Slim to jump in. ;D ;D ;D
With his double coat and webbed toes, Duke is having a grand time of it. He gets out, shakes off on Delmonico again, then jumps back in. He is starting to wonder, however, if Slim is going to be able to sire children number 14 and 15 with all the shrinkage going on in that COLD water.
:D
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on December 02, 2004, 03:51:32 PM
Quote from: stoneypete on December 02, 2004, 04:40:41 AM
Sneak. Sneak. Sneak.
Stoney looks around, writes some notes on his pad on skulks outta here. ;D
Ya did 'neak in. I didn't even see ya.
Must be the weight I've lost. ;) :D ::) NOT!
Slim decides he is clean enough. So, he goes to the dugout to change into some dry clothes. He thinks Delmonico might stink a tad 'fore he decides the water is warm enough to bath in. :P
Glen Carman aka Delmonico would like to remind everyone includin' Slim that most modern folks would not like the smells of the "Old West" at all. With all the horse's around the streets of any town would resemble a modern feed lot. Don't fer get everyone had an outhouse out back of their house and bussiness. :P :P Heck go back a bit in time, the moat around a castle was not really to keep folks out, that is where the waste from the castle went.
Yes the king the queen, Prince Valiant and the Damsel in distress pooped in a chute that lead to the moat.
Mean while back at the ranch, we are noticin' Slim resembles Mel Gibson in a way. :o ::) 8)
>
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Slim is now blue and Mel was blue too in a few scences in "Braveheart." Dig out the kilt Slim. :o :o :o :P
(http://www-personal.umich.edu/~rgrommel/personal/images/favorites/braveheart.jpg)
Gives a whole new meanin' ta Blue Christmas. ;D
Delmonico sleep late on Sunday, when they get up they build a good fire to sit around. Just before dark Delmonico goes in the dugout and gets a can of blue paint and paints the Yaller dog Duke blue. He then paints himself blue and put a kilt on him and the yaller dog. They then sit around the fire and wait for dawn and Slim's cautious look see from the safety of a near by hill. ;D ;D ;D ::) :o ;D ;)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother peeks in, then shows up in her own Ulster Red kilt, blue sawdust scattered in her hair. Shaking her head at Duke and Del, she joins them at the fire.
I think Slim must have got lost on the way back from Wissyconsion. ;D ;D
Slim slowly hides into camp. "Y'all look nice dressed as Picts. Did ya know that most of my ancesters are from that part of the world? By the by, I'z is late cuz of the snow storm I traveled through to get here."
Snow? You mean that white stuff that falls from the sky?
I heard about it, but never seen it ;D
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on December 07, 2004, 03:54:33 AM
Snow? You mean that white stuff that falls from the sky?
I heard about it, but never seen it ;D
The first time I saw it, I was 20 years old and standing on the tarmac at the Cinncinati airport. The people inside watched me through the glass as I stood there, walking in tiny circles, my face lifted to the sky in rapt awe. It was wonderful.
AnnieLee
Quote from: AnnieLee on December 07, 2004, 05:26:18 AM
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on December 07, 2004, 03:54:33 AM
Snow? You mean that white stuff that falls from the sky?
I heard about it, but never seen it ;D
The first time I saw it, I was 20 years old and standing on the tarmac at the Cinncinati airport. The people inside watched me through the glass as I stood there, walking in tiny circles, my face lifted to the sky in rapt awe. It was wonderful.
AnnieLee
The last time it snowed in my hometown was in 1940. I wasn't around here yet ;D
Snow ist vut ve git unt das Great Vite Nort in das vinter insted uf rain. ;D
Ach so! :o
But, now, it is raining. The snow is melting. :'(
We have no rain for now. The sky is spotless. ;D
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on December 07, 2004, 10:18:49 AM
But, now, it is raining. The snow is melting. :'(
Slim
Are you sure you're not here in Nevada Territory? It snowed Thanksgiving weekend while I was in Oregon Terr.(Can't leave here without things going to Heck). It's now finally rainin' and meltin' the white stuff. It normally doesn't hang around this long. Must have brought some of the Wisconsin temps back with me from my last trip home. (do they fit a a pair of saddlebags?)
Quote from: Russ T Chambers on December 07, 2004, 11:35:26 AM
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on December 07, 2004, 10:18:49 AM
But, now, it is raining. The snow is melting. :'(
Slim
Are you sure you're not here in Nevada Territory? It snowed Thanksgiving weekend while I was in Oregon Terr.(Can't leave here without things going to Heck). It's now finally rainin' and meltin' the white stuff. It normally doesn't hang around this long. Must have brought some of the Wisconsin temps back with me from my last trip home. (do they fit a a pair of saddlebags?)
I think I'z in Viscawnsin, but sometimes I wonder with the weather. When January cames, we are usually jerked back to reality when temps dip below zero at night. :(
Slim
I think we lost Del. Maybe he went back into the dugout to put on more blue face paint.
(http://www.tartans.com/articles/g/pictmanbig.jpg)
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
AnnieLee
Dashin' into the dugout, wearnin' a T'Shirt, carpenter pants and a belt with no gun or knife on it, Delmonico makes a quick change. Steppin' out he now has a flowered calico shirt on and a red silk bandanna with white polka dots. He also has black frontier pants, tan braces, black stovepipes with spurs that have jingle bobs on them. He has a black hat with pencil roll, Tom Horn Crease and a mule kick in back. The belt now has a 58 Remmy and Delmonico's handmade cooks knife with the red cedar handles. No trace of blue remains.
"Sorry I'm late folks, I've been sellin' Carharts and steel toed boots all day. But by steppin' inta a near by dug out I made a quick change and I'm am back to bein' an Old West dry goods salesman till 8pm CST. Then I'm goin' home and be a cosie, I'm gettin' hungry and the triple shot straight up I had fer lunch at 3 is startin' to wear off." ;D ;D ;D ;)
I heard you were dressed funny and Terry was laughing at you, Del.
Tsk!
AnnieLee
Glad ta have ya back, Del. ;D
Slim takes 4 dozen big brown eggs outta his saddle bags and gives 'em to Delmonico. "Here's a present from Viscawnsin."
Duke looks at those eggs, licks his chops and wonders how long he is going to be blue.
AnnieLee
Quote from: AnnieLee on December 08, 2004, 09:34:51 AM
Duke looks at those eggs, licks his chops and wonders how long he is going to be blue.
AnnieLee
All depends on what Delmonico used ta turn 'im blue. :D
Delmonico throws a ball in the river. Duke dives in and comes out clean. (Blue chalk line dust.)
Well thats over, our blue period. (Didn't they say that 'bout one of the so called arteest's.)
I had a friend fall asleep on my couch once, I woke him up and sent him home. (Not drunk just that we'd been awake for about 36 hours.) When he got home his wife called me laughin' askin' why his nose was blue. (I don't know why she'd think I'd paint someone's nose blue with a q-tip and food color. ;D ;D ;D)
Duke comes back and drops the ball at Del's feet, panting to fetch some more and grinning.
"Duke, ya look much better."
Duke figures that since it's the Holiday Season, Delmonico might be spending more and more time dressed in a ball cap and jeans and helping out around the shop, so he picks up the ball and drops it at Slim's feet with a hopeful wag of his tail.
Slim picks up the ball. "Are ya ready, Duke?" Duke barks once. Slim throws the ball. "Fetch it up!" Duke runs after the ball.
Slim exhibits the ball he had hidden behind is back and smiles devilishly.
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on December 09, 2004, 09:21:46 AM
Slim exhibits the ball he had hidden behind is back and smiles devilishly.
Ya tryin' ta get me in trouble, again? ;)
Duke stops, midrun, and turns around. Eyes narrowed, he trots back to Slim with that "You faked the throw" glare.
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on December 09, 2004, 09:24:43 AM
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on December 09, 2004, 09:21:46 AM
Slim exhibits the ball he had hidden behind is back and smiles devilishly.
Ya tryin' ta get me in trouble, again? ;)
Yup ;D
can't say I ain't honest ;D
This time, Slim actually throws the ball.
The ball bounces away, splashing into the creek. Duke gleefully takes after it, then all is quiet for a few minutes. When Duke returns, he has the ball in his mouth and is herding along a bawling calf.
"Well, Duke, ya might turn out ta be a cow dog, too." Slim graps the calf. "Where's your mother, little one?"
The calf just looks up at Slim with those big ol', sad cow eyes, then licks his face. After a moment she attempts to suckle at his nose.
Slim saddles his horse, puts the calf over the saddle, and mounts his horse. "Well, Duke, let's find it's mother." Slim and Duke head back towards the Dismal in search of the cow.
Duke gives that funny cock to his head as Slim puts the calf on his horse, then takes off with them, sniffing around for the cow. He scents a rabbit and takes off after then, but comes back after a few minutes.
"That Jack a little too fast fer ya?"
Duke gives Slim a "it was a bunny, not a cow" look, then goes back to sniffing. When they hit the Dismal, he forgets about the cow again, swimming around in circles and hunting for ducks or geese or sticks, or even funny ripples in the water that he can bite.
(AnnieLee knows this stuff because one of her dogs does this kinda stuff.)
"Duke, where did ya find the calf?"
Slim and Duke get back with the mother of the poor lost calf, but the calf is no where to be found! :o However there is a wonderful smell comin' from the cook camp. Slim bein' from Wissyconsion reconizes that wonderful smell, it is Viener schnitsel. :o :o :o ;D Slim gets a funny look on his face as he realizes what has happen. He left the calf near the cook camp and he fergot ta tell the cook not to cook it. ;D ;D ;D Now Slim really has some splaining to do.
The calf hid with no brand is layin' in camp, the cow is nuzzlzin' the hide, the hide has no brand, the cow has a brand, but it ain't Slim's and the owner of the branded cow is watchin' Slim drive the cow inta camp and lookin' at the whole affair from the cook camp where he has been waitin' fer dinner.
(Annie I still get to wear a real hat, but I don't wear my open crown one. I found out the celin' is kinda low upstairs in the backstock. ::) :o Also I just put my pants legs over my stove pipes. ;D, no spurs or peeestol though.)
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on December 09, 2004, 11:27:06 AM
Slim saddles his horse, puts the calf over the saddle, and mounts his horse. "Well, Duke, let's find it's mother." Slim and Duke head back towards the Dismal in search of the cow.
I think ya missed something there, Delmonico. ;D
Are you sure you didn't modify it? If ya didn't I poligize. They are workin' again today and the tuba and acordian music is drivin' me crazy. ;D ;D ;D ;D
And I was already fer veal, hard to get now, but if I say why I'll go inta one of my ragin' discourses about PETA people, and folks like them. And it ain't good fer me ta froth all over the keyboard. ;D ;D
( I just finished a salad with chicken, walnuts, and dried cherries in it for lunch, and now I want veal, too!)
Quote from: Delmonico on December 09, 2004, 01:17:24 PM
Are you sure you didn't modify it? If ya didn't I poligize. They are workin' again today and the tuba and acordian music is drivin' me crazy. ;D ;D ;D ;D
And I was already fer veal, hard to get now, but if I say why I'll go inta one of my ragin' discourses about PETA people, and folks like them. And it ain't good fer me ta froth all over the keyboard. ;D ;D
Nope, didn't change it, this time. ;D
Maybe the cook killed another calf that wandered in while Slim and Duke were looking for the first one's mother?
<Trying to help>
AnnieLee
Quote from: AnnieLee on December 09, 2004, 01:43:10 PM
Maybe the cook killed another calf that wandered in while Slim and Duke were looking for the first one's mother?
<Trying to help>
AnnieLee
That is possible. ;D
edit, edit!!!
Quote from: Delmonico on December 09, 2004, 12:29:57 PM
Slim and Duke get back with the mother of the poor lost calf, and there is a wonderful smell comin' from the cook camp. Slim bein' from Wissyconsion reconizes that wonderful smell, it is Viener schnitsel. :o :o :o ;D Slim gets a funny look on his face as he realizes what has happen. Another calf, maybe a twin to the first one, wandered near the cook camp and he fergot ta tell the cook not to cook it. ;D ;D ;D Now Slim really has some splaining to do.
The calf hide with no brand is layin' in camp, the cow is nuzzlzin' the hide, the hide has no brand, the cow has a brand, but it ain't Slim's and the owner of the branded cow is watchin' Slim drive the cow with another calf over his saddle, inta camp and lookin' at the whole affair from the cook camp where he has been waitin' fer dinner.
(Annie I still get to wear a real hat, but I don't wear my open crown one. I found out the celin' is kinda low upstairs in the backstock. ::) :o Also I just put my pants legs over my stove pipes. ;D, no spurs or peeestol though.)
:D
AnnieLee
Don't make no differance where it came from, Delmonico killed it and we' is havin' veeeeaaal fer dinner. Supper since we already got the makin's we is havin' Son-of-a-bithch stew. Hearin' faint gaggin' sounds off to the east of him, Delmonico thinks there might be some funny salad all over a key board. :P ;D
Posh, I grew up with a brother who would turn his eyelids inside out, then drool down to his knees then suck it back up. "Show me" was dinner table entertainment when my parents weren't around. Takes more than that to get me to gag on my yuppy salad! :D
But, just what is in that stew?
Aside: I showed Will the lead up to Blue Duke, and he has proclaimed that we are ALL CRAZY!
Heh heh heh,
AnnieLee
" Remember when you ran away and
I got on my knees and begged you
Not to leave because I'd go berserk?
Well,You left me anyhow and then the
Days got worse and worse and now you
See I've gone completely out of my mind.
And,
They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa.
They're coming to take me away, ho ho, he he, ha ha,
To the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time
And I'll be happy to see those nice young
Men in their clean white coats and
They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!
You thought it was a joke and so you
Laughed, you laughed!
When I had said that
Losing you would make me flip my lid - right?
You know you laughed, I heard you laugh,
You laughed, you laughed and laughed, and then you
Left, but now you know I'm utterly mad.
And,
They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa.
They're coming to take me away, ho ho, he he , ha ha,
To the happy home with trees and flowers and chirping birds
And basket weavers who sit and smile
And twiddle their thumbs and toesAnd they're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!
I cooked your food, I cleaned your house
And this is how you pay me back
For all my kind, unselfish loving deeds? Huh?
Well, you just wait--they'll find you yet
And when they do they'll put you in the
RSPCA you mangy mutt!
And,
They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa.
They're coming to take me away, ho ho, he he, ha ha,
To the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time
And I'll be happy to see those nice young
Men in their clean white coats and
They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!
To the happy home with trees and flowers and chirping birds
And basket weavers who sit and smile
And twiddle their thumbs and toes
And they're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!
To the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time
And I'll be happy to see those nice young
Men in their clean white coats and
They're coming to take me away! "
;D
Slim
Silver Creek Slim??? But he is MAAAAAD Sir.
Mickey Mouse: "Yer honor, I didn't say she was crazy, I said she was @!@#$ing Goofy!"
AnnieLee
Quote from: AnnieLee on December 10, 2004, 09:32:54 AM
Mickey Mouse: "Yer honor, I didn't say she was crazy, I said she was @!@#$ing Goofy!"
AnnieLee
BWAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Sent a tellygraph, they is bringin' the padded stagecoach and the duster with reeeeally looooong sleeves fer Slim.
;D :o ::) ;D
SOB stew has all the edible (?) insides from an unweaned calf and some of the regular meat. The reason fer an unweaned one is you use the marrow gut. This is the tube that connects the first and second stomach. That is why you need an unweaned one, in one of these this tube is filled with somethin' that looks like uncooked marrow, but it ain't. ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on December 10, 2004, 10:42:34 AM
Sent a tellygraph, they is bringin' the padded stagecoach and the duster with reeeeally looooong sleeves fer Slim.
;D :o ::) ;D
SOB stew has all the edible (?) insides from an unweaned calf and some of the regular meat. The reason fer an unweaned one is you use the marrow gut. This is the tube that connects the first and second stomach. That is why you need an unweaned one, in one of these this tube is filled with somethin' that looks like uncooked marrow, but it ain't. ;D ;D ;D
Okie...
NOW I AM GROSSED OUT.
<Making faces>
AnnieLee
Thanks, Del. ::)
Quote from: Delmonico on December 10, 2004, 10:42:34 AM
Sent a tellygraph, they is bringin' the padded stagecoach and the duster with reeeeally looooong sleeves fer Slim.
;D :o ::) ;D
SOB stew has all the edible (?) insides from an unweaned calf and some of the regular meat. The reason fer an unweaned one is you use the marrow gut. This is the tube that connects the first and second stomach. That is why you need an unweaned one, in one of these this tube is filled with somethin' that looks like uncooked marrow, but it ain't. ;D ;D ;D
There are some things that should be in a "need to now only" basis ::)
That said. Thanks for the info Del ;)
See Annie, if'n you'd a known you'd a splattered yer keyboard. :P ::) :o ;D
By the way, do you know how to cook kidneys? ;D ;D
Do you know and old time word fer the insides of an animal? :o
Do you know what a "Natural Casing" fer a sasuage is? :o
I know what a natural casing is, and I know what tripe is. I've never cooked kidneys, liver is about as far as I will go.
<Shaking her head>
AnnieLee
Ta cook kidneys is easy. Ya jist boil the PI$$ out of them. ;D ::) ::) :o :o :P :P >:( ;D :D ;)
Ohh..... maaaaaaaannnnn I should have seen that one coming. ::)
AnnieLee
Offal, pronounced as awful is and old name fer the interal organs of a butchered animal.
So heart, kidneys and liver are called offal meats in old books on cookin' and butcherin'.
So yuk if ya want.
Offal is awful. Give it to Duke, he'd enjoy it.
<blech>
AnnieLee
Delmonico,
You remember what was once said about sausage making and Law making ? ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother pops in with a scattering of sawdust. She smiles, seeing the boys and the dog sleeping peacefully, then the smile turns into a grin of mischief. With a wave of her wand, she turns Delmonicos hair a neon green, then with another flick, about twelve chickens are placed in the dugout. Wondering how Delmonico will be able to blame Slim for this when Slim is in Wisconsin, she laughs softly and pops back out.
AnnieLee
Not noticing the green hair, Delmonico gathers eggs and starts makin' 11 sunnyside up. (One of the chickens was defective.) Puttin' on some sausage will comlete the breakfast. (5 fer Slim, 6 fer Delmonico.)
The defective chicken is beheaded and drawn and plucked. A search for the fixin's reveales some cream that has went bad, it is sour. There is also an onion and diggin' into the spices, Delmonico finds some paparika. Paprika Chicken fer supper it is. ;D ;D
As the sausage browns, Delmonico remembers somethin' he has heard 'bout the bossman over there to Germany. Otto Von Bismarck is his name. He is s'posed to have said somethin' recently 'bout sausage. "Anyone wanting to maintain his respect for sausage and laws should refrain from watching either be made." :P
Duke wanders over, wondering where his share of the eggs is. He looks up at Delmonico, blinks, then his ears lay flat, he hunkers down with the hackles of his neck raised, and starts barking at him.
Quote from: Delmonico on December 13, 2004, 11:06:39 AMAs the sausage browns, Delmonico remembers somethin' he has heard 'bout the bossman over there to Germany. Otto Von Bismarck is his name. He is s'posed to have said somethin' recently 'bout sausage. "Anyone wanting to maintain his respect for sausage and laws should refrain from watching either be made." :P
Well, at least yer memory is good ;D
Well duke here is Slim's 5 eggs, guess he ain't gonna show up. ;D
Slim rides into camp with a deer strapped behind his saddle. He sees Delmonico's green hair. "Del, is it St. Patrick's Day already?"
Duke sidles warily around Del and laps up the eggs before Slim can get off his horse.
"By the by, why it Duke eatin' outta the skillet?"
Yer late so I fed him yer breakfast. ;D ;D
Why do you think it is March already. ???
"Sure, I was late cause I gotcha this here deer and ya feed my breakfast to the dawg." :( Slim plomps the deer at Delmonico's feet.
"Well, it ain't March, but yer hair is green." ;D
We'll why did it take ya several hours ta shoot and field ress a deer, shouldn't take more than 10 minutes. Unless ya had ta track it fer hours cause ya made a lousy shot. ;D
There was some strange chickens hangin' round this mornin' and some saw dust layin' round. I spose the 'splain's everythin'. ;D ;D
With that, a chicken comes pecking out of the dugout. Duke's ears perk forward and he starts to give chase.
"Shot it with me Roller .45-70 at 300 yards thru the boiler room and the dumb thing ran fer 10 miles 'fore it died. If I would've used me Improved Henry .44 Henry, it would've dropped on the spot. Everyone knows that the .44 Henry is a much better long range round than the .45-70 Govt." ::) ;)
Slim ya know that myth was started by a famous Heeestorian who is a good Heeestorian, but don't really know a lot 'bout firearms ballistics. If one adds 2 and 2 ya get 4. But if ya add 2 and 2 and 2 and 2 and 2 and 2 and 2 and ferget ta carry the 1 ya still get 4. ;D ;D ;D ;D
That shows that ya can't belive all ya read, but ya need ta sift is like ya do yer flour ta get all the weevils out of it.
(And no I ain't gona tell anyone who wrote that, they are too good a historian in other areas.) ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on December 15, 2004, 10:52:23 AM
(And no I ain't gona tell anyone who wrote that, they are too good a historian in other areas.) ;D
PLEEEEAAAAASE. ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on December 15, 2004, 10:52:23 AM
Slim ya know that myth was started by a famous Heeestorian who is a good Heeestorian, but don't really know a lot 'bout firearms ballistics. If one adds 2 and 2 ya get 4. But if ya add 2 and 2 and 2 and 2 and 2 and 2 and 2 and ferget ta carry the 1 ya still get 4. ;D ;D ;D ;D
That shows that ya can't belive all ya read, but ya need ta sift is like ya do yer flour ta get all the weevils out of it.
(And no I ain't gona tell anyone who wrote that, they are too good a historian in other areas.) ;D
So that's why ya supposed ta sift flour. ;D
Slim
When life giveth you weevils in yea flour, don't fret 'bout it. Instead thine should just maketh rye bread. Thou can then save thine caraway seed fer better things.
From the Book of Delmonico Chaper 7 Verse 15.
Now all rise or our bread will be unleaven.
(Suddenly Delmonico ducks as a lightning bolt strikes right nex ......................................................................................................................
(http://www.centennialofflight.gov/2003FF/lightning/pics/zeuslig2.gif)
;D
If Delmonico gets hit with that lightning bolt, he'll be... Thor.
:D
<couldn't help it>
AnnieLee
Psssssst, whisper on, Delmonico ain't never been hit by lightnin' but he's had several close calls. His brother panics when Delmonico trys to touch him in a lightnin' storm. He got very upset with Delmonico dancin' on the roof of a pickup one night in a storm, he would not come up and dance with him. Delmonico knows that he was safer on the ungrounded truck than his brother was on the ground. Sides that the storm was 'bout five miles away. ;D ;D ;D Whisper off.
Ya enjoy tormenting your brother? ;D
Considering how he torments you, Slim, think of what it must be like to be Delmonico's brother!
The poor guy is probably gray and/or bald with several nervous twitches.
AnnieLee
Don't ask him about the marker flags, he still denies it was funny. But it kept him crazy for 10 hours. ;D A line of them between his camper and my cuz's camper appeared on opening day of pheasant season while he was visitin' the neighbor. ;D He could not figger out why and I could not tell him till 8:37 pm and no one else could either. ;D ;D
Must see if I can find the copy of the picture of him hangin' upside down between two dead deer, It's ok, he has his hunter orange on. I only watched that one. ;)
Ya ought ta see what ya can do to a 3-D deer archery target when he ain't lookin. ;)
I thought about those marker flags on the way to verk this morning. I have got to do that to Will!!
;D
AnnieLee
Mean while back at the ranch, Delmonico has locked himself in the dug out and pulled in the latch string. he says he ain't gonna cook till his hair is back to being brown with just a few grey hairs. :o :( :( >:( >:( ;)
Panicked, Duke looks at Slim, who looks back at Duke, then they both look for the Frumpy Fairy Godmother who is no where to be found!
AnnieLee
"Where is the wanded one when ya need 'er?" :(
Meanwhle, they realize that Delmonico is cookin' fer himself, cause wonderful smells are comin' from the dugout. Duke scratches on the door and is let in. Slim then knows that Duke is not considered to blame for the green hair thing. ;D ;D
(Perhaps if Slim would scratch on the door and whine he would also be fed.) :o :o ;D ;D ;)
"We could try walnut husks to dye it brown."
The door to the dugout opens and Slim ducks just in time to not be hit with a dishpan of dirty dish water. ;D ;D
"I'z just try'n ta help."
After dark, the dugout door opens and Delmonico heads to the root cellar, a yaller dog with bared teeth guards the door. Emergin' from the root cellar with two heads of cabbage, Delmonico closes the door and pulls back in the latch string. >:( :o ??? ??? ;)
Delmonico emerges from the dugout in much better humor than the day before. His hair is still green, but he is in a much better mood. He has a plate of samwhiches (deer and cheese) and a bowl of cole slaw. (The period type with the sweetened oil and vinegar.)
Sorry I threw the dish water at ya Slim, before ya head home to Wissyconsin have some loooooonch.
By the way, can you bring me back some oranges on Monday. They should be shippin' them by train from Floradey or Calyfornia by now since it's winter and they should be gettin' ripe. Get me 4-5 and I will make my Great-Great-Grandmother Foster's "Orange Delight" cookies like my Grandmother always made at Christmas time. Oh and if they shipped in some of those "English walnuts" from Calyforia bring some of them. Don't bring me no "Black walnuts" though, I can't stand them. >:(
And with Delmonico's good deed, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother poofs back in with a scattering of sawdust. With a grin and a wave of her wand, Del's hair is returned to normal.
"If Slim can't find the oranges, I'll have some sent to you. I love oranges."
Very serious Historical note here: The coming of the Railroads allowed this some what exotic fruit to be shipped into areas all around the country by the 1870's. The groves of orange trees that were in Calyfornia and Florida were improved with newer better oranges than the ones planted by the Spanish monks. The Vaelica was the most popular by the time the markets due to the railroads was opened. (hard to sell oranges in an area that everyone has a tree or three in their yard)
These started ripenin' by the middle of November and were at their height by early December. This allowed this treat to be shipped all over the country in time for Christmas. By the late 1890's the Washington orange (navel) was becoming popular, it's almost total lack of seeds made it easier to eat and it was easier to peel.
That is a short synopsis of the reason for the orages traditon in this country at Christmas, and most likely the origins of our family recipe. I will print this next week if that Durn Slim brings back the nuts and oranges.
Today of course, newwer hybrids and airplanes allows us to have oranges all year long, althouth they are more plentyful and cheaper at Christmas time. But it has watered down a tradition for Christmas.
And mean while, back at the ranch. ;)
"Thanks, Del. That would be great. I'll get some oranges and English walnuts fer, ya. Do ya need any eggs?"
POOF!
"Hey, your har's not green no more!"
I think so on the eggs, the recipe is upstairs, will fetch it this weekend.
(Note goin' through old cookbooks i found a hand written copy of this recipe my Grandma Carman always made. But it was in Grandma Parrish's handwriting in one of her cookbooks. Yes I plan on framing it.) :)
<AnnieLee wants some good old brown yard eggs, but she won't be getting any, so she pouts>
Quote from: AnnieLee on December 17, 2004, 11:50:25 AM
<AnnieLee wants some good old brown yard eggs, but she won't be getting any, so she pouts>
I gots some.
Russ T. rides through on his way to Wisconsin for the Holidays in the company of a band of traveling musicians known as the OK Chorale. Saying hey! to the Frumpy Fairy Godmother the group moves quickly on!! ::) ;D ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on December 17, 2004, 11:52:36 AM
Quote from: AnnieLee on December 17, 2004, 11:50:25 AM
<AnnieLee wants some good old brown yard eggs, but she won't be getting any, so she pouts>
I gots some.
MOM!!! Cousin Slim's being mean to me again!!!
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother seems to be unfazed by the Choraleers, but as Russ T. rides away, his horse suddenly becomes a slug.
AnnieLee
Well folks I'm off to the land of Carharts and Wolverines, won't be back to the ranch till 6 and not the bunkhouse till at least 8:30. I put a present in yer saddlebags fer the ride home Slim, but no peekin' till yer half way home.
Have some MORE coleslaw, ya must like it ya already ate 3 bowels of it. Woops I meant bowls. ;D ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on December 17, 2004, 12:51:29 PM
Well folks I'm off to the land of Carharts and Wolverines, won't be back to the ranch till 6 and not the bunkhouse till at least 8:30. I put a present in yer saddlebags fer the ride home Slim, but no peekin' till yer half way home.
Have some MORE coleslaw, ya must like it ya already ate 3 bowels of it. Woops I meant bowls. ;D ;D
Are ya putting Castor oil in the food again?
Duke, having eaten a large portion of the cole slaw, looks very distressed.
Quote from: AnnieLee on December 17, 2004, 02:06:44 PM
Duke, having eaten a large portion of the cole slaw, looks very distressed.
Uh oh!
Whimpering, Duke just can't get away fast enough and just lets loose all over Delmonico's soogun.
Poor Duke!
:'(
Slim gets half way home and looks in his saddle bags, there is a Sears and Roebuck Catalog. :o
Bout 10 miles from home Slim has horrible cramps and he kows it is castor oil cramps cause he's seen Monty Walsh. Grabbin' his catalog he heads into the bushes.
As he's readin' the gun ads he hears a noise that sounds like two cocanuts bein' banged together. The noise in the bushes has scared his horse and it has run off and left him alone. ;D
Meanwhile, Poor Duke tries to get off Delmonico's soogun, but each time, his stomach starts quivering and he goes some more.
Slim's horse makes a lot of noise when it comes into the yard. Mrs. Slim sees the riderless horse come into the yard and goes out to see what is goin' on. Leadin' the horse into the barn she lights a lantern and checks the saddle for blood. She is feared that someone has shot him out of the saddle. The poor lady finds not blood on the saddle, but cabbage, lots and lots of shredded cabbage. ;D ;D ;D ;)
Mean while Slim is back in the bushes makin' like the Energizer Bunny, he keeps goin' and goin', :o :o :o :o :o
Back at the ranch Delmonico gets out his spare soogun and heads off to the dugout and goes to bed. Before goin' to sleep he says, "I hope Slim washes his hands before he buys those oranges. ;)
"Delmonico is evil." >:(
Back at the ranch in the dugout, Delmonico's sleep is distirbed by a bad dream. His dream is that Slim has gotten home and logged in and is showin' his wife how evil a Cowboy cook can be. :o The dream gets better though when Slim's wife whacks him upside the head and tells him he should know better than to mess with the cyber cook one the cyber ranch. ;D
Course she makes him sleep in the barn cause she don't want cabbage on he nice clean sheets. ;D ;D ;)
Even if it is only cyber cabbage. ;D ;)
There is a small payback, though, as the cyber dugout is filled with the cyber scent of cyber cabbage gas from a cyber dog.
;D
AnnieLee
Delmonico just cover his head with a 6 point Hudson Bay blanket 'cause wool blankets filter out flatulance. ;)
(whisper mode on> Okie, that one made AnnieLee laugh out loud. <whisper mode off )
Delmonico gets up and goes to his stash of old time remidies that cooks are sometimes know to carry. We all know what castor oil will start, well now sumthin' is needed to stop it on the poor dog.
Delmonico digs out a bottle or real (not flavored) blackberry brandy and give Duke a shot of it. (True blackberry juice, wine or brandy will cure diarria.) After that Duke just sits in the sun and smiles. Delmonico burries the soiled soogun and opens the door to the dugout to air it out.
He thinks, it's only a week before Christmas, he's been so evil that more than likely he's only gonna get coal for Christmas. Will he repent in time to redeem himself with less than a week to go? ;D ;)
What a choice, be evil and get coal for Christmas, or haul wood fer miles and pick up dried cow poop fer fuel. Makes no sense to be good under the circumstances. ;D ;D Being bad is the way to go. ;D
(Dagnabbit, I should've saved some of my blackberries instead of using them all up in jam and jelly! Gonna post a recipe for blackberry brandy, Del? Please?)
As though he could read minds, Duke gives the cook an odd look and a small growl.
AnnieLee
Russ T. finally rides into his brother's spread in Wisconsin. Took longer than normal as his horse had developed a bit of a "sluggish" ::) gait while passin' through Nebrassky . Usin' brother's telegraph to send out word to the OK Chorale what got misplaced when his horse slowed down. He's still wonderin' about the strong aroma of spoiled cabbage he noticed on the way. It's way too late for the Franksville Kraut Festival. :o :)
With an errant smile and a small flip of her wand, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother turns Russ T.'s slug back into a horse, but now it carries the perpetual scent of cabbage gas.
:D
AnnieLee
Knowin' that Slim will look over the whole thread before ridin' in ta camp, Delmonico feels better, cause Slim will understand that the feedin' him the castor oil coleslaw was for the good of the ranch. ;D ;) Why just that act will cause Santa to bring at least a half ton of coal. :)
Also he knows after readin ' this, why Delmonico is headin' to the dugout with more cabbage, some green onions and a giant raddish from the root cellar. ??? ??? :o :-\ ;)
Later by lantern light, Delmonico is seen buryin' some glass jars out near the dugout and markin' the spot carefully. Duke watches carefully, not really knowin' why Delmonico is buryin' jars of cabbage near the house. ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on December 19, 2004, 08:11:39 PM
Later by lantern light, Delmonico is seen buryin' some glass jars out near the dugout and markin' the spot carefully. Duke watches carefully, not really knowin' why Delmonico is buryin' jars of cabbage near the house. ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ;D
Kimchee???? :P :P ??? ??? :D :D
Good guess Russ T. In his travels Delmonico met a Celestial who had spent time in the land of Chosin. This fella had brought the makin' of kimchee with him when he came searchin' fer gold in the land of Gum Sum. The fella had not found much gold in the ground, but had found plenty by openin' a (you guessed it) an "all you can eat Chinese buffet."
Since our valley already smelled like cabbage, I decided it was a good time to make it.
Now where is that dern Slim with our walnuts and oranges. I need to start those cookies soon. (Am really goin' upstairs to clean a bit and will bring the recipe down. ;D) I see he's logged in and postin' elsewhere, hope the kinchee fumes ain't keepin' him away. :P :P ;)
Slim rides into camp. "I headed out from Wiscoooooooooooonsin, got into Iaway and this dadburned easterly blew me through the Dakota territory into Wyomin'. So, I had ta head back east again." He climbs outta the saddle and takes the saddlebags offa his horse. "Del, here are the oranges, English walnuts, 2 dozen brown eggs ;D , and a couple pounds of Bratwurst. Now, ya can make something GOOD with that cabbage instead of that kimchee." :D
Quote from: Russ T Chambers on December 19, 2004, 03:17:33 PM
Russ T. finally rides into his brother's spread in Wisconsin. Took longer than normal as his horse had developed a bit of a "sluggish" ::) gait while passin' through Nebrassky . Usin' brother's telegraph to send out word to the OK Chorale what got misplaced when his horse slowed down. He's still wonderin' about the strong aroma of spoiled cabbage he noticed on the way. It's way too late for the Franksville Kraut Festival. :o :)
Did ya say where your brother's spread is?
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother poofs back in with a sprinkling of sawdust when she sees those eggs.
I vote for sauerkraut. Heck, kimchee smells so bad, Duke won't even dig it up! Got a recipe for kraut and that soft red cabbage, Delmonico?
AnnieLee
Quote from: AnnieLee on December 20, 2004, 11:50:34 AM
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother poofs back in with a sprinkling of sawdust when she sees those eggs.
I vote for sauerkraut. Heck, kimchee smells so bad, Duke won't even dig it up! Got a recipe for kraut and that soft red cabbage, Delmonico?
AnnieLee
;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother is about ready to mug Slim to get some of those eggs.
I liiiiiike kimchee, so thats good that Duke won't dig it up cause I liiiike it, thats why I make it at home from time to time. I make good kimchee. >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( ;)
Ok, the saurkraut I'm still workin' on, the last try 'bout caused me to have to find another place to live. Fact is till I got it outside, I was ready to move and burn down the house. :-\ :-\ :P ;)
Ok now I'll go up and get the recipe when I'm gettin' things ready to tie the quilt. ;)
"FFG, do ya want some o' these eggs?'
Leave me 4 eggs and I'll make a double batch of cookies, I know they take two fer batch. ;)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother grins. "Please? And I know there is this really strange woman sitting in a cube in some even stranger place called Washington DC who would like the eggs even more than me, but doesn't know how you could get them too her safely."
Quote from: AnnieLee on December 20, 2004, 01:03:25 PM
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother grins. "Please? And I know there is this really strange woman sitting in a cube in some even stranger place called Washington DC who would like the eggs even more than me, but doesn't know how you could get them too her safely."
"Here ya go. Just save 4 for the cookies."
You should be able to find some around in backwoods Virginny.
Ok I got it down here, I guess I might have to make these again, it's been a couple of years.
Orange Delight Cookies
3/4 cup shortening
1 1/2 cups brown sugar
2 eggs
1/2 cup sour milk
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 1/2 teaspoon grated orange peel
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
2 teaspoons baking powder
3 cups flour
3/4 cup of English walnut meats finely chopped
1/4 teaspoon salt
Cream the shortening and brown sugar. Beat the eggs, vanilla, orange peel, baking soda and sour milk creamed shortening. Mix the flour, baking powder, salt and the nutmeats, stir into the mixture. Make a drop cookie and bake in a 350 degree oven till done. (10 to 12 minutes) While hot spread with the topping mixture.
Topping
1 1/2 teaspoons grated orange peel
1/3 cup orange juice
1 cup white sugar
This will make a grainy topping.
More historically correct will be to use half lard and half butter. My guess (educated?) it that this recipe evolved in the time just after the Civil War from a basic cookie recipe, most likely with blackwalnuts. The added orange and the English walnuts adds to my theroy that it was developed for a Christmas treat when these became availible. My grandmother never made it with black walnuts even though she raised them in the orchard.
The original cookie most likely used baking soda or even pearlash, depending on the time period it was used. The extra baking powder raises it even more, making it cake like.
My grandmother got this from her grandmother, she may have been the originator of it. My grandmother passed on in 1991 and was born in 1904, her grandmother should have been about the right age to have originated it, becuse the oranges would have been hard to get in the US till about the time of the Civil War.
FFG, it might be too late to send Slim on a trip, but do you 'spose you could poof up some anise seed. I got a hankerin' now to make Grandma's soft anise cookies and maybe some of the more tradional hard anise cookies with the German name that I'll have too look up.
(Whisper on, I really made a mess with the last recipe postin', but Slim saved me. Does anyone notice that the FFG complained about the post a fore it's posted. Must be her fault this time. ;))
Quote from: Delmonico on December 20, 2004, 03:11:48 PM
FFG, it might be too late to send Slim on a trip, but do you 'spose you could poof up some anise seed. I got a hankerin' now to make Grandma's soft anise cookies and maybe some of the more tradional hard anise cookies with the German name that I'll have too look up.
(Whisper on, I really made a mess with the last recipe postin', but Slim saved me. Does anyone notice that the FFG complained about the post a fore it's posted. Must be her fault this time. ;))
I noticed. ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on December 20, 2004, 03:11:48 PM
FFG, it might be too late to send Slim on a trip, but do you 'spose you could poof up some anise seed. I got a hankerin' now to make Grandma's soft anise cookies and maybe some of the more tradional hard anise cookies with the German name that I'll have too look up.
(Whisper on, I really made a mess with the last recipe postin', but Slim saved me. Does anyone notice that the FFG complained about the post a fore it's posted. Must be her fault this time. ;))
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gives a haughty sniff and a wand wave, and a packet of anise seed appears in Delmonico's pocket.
"Posh, when did I complain? That's a nice recipe, I'll have to remember how to make sour milk."
:D ;D
AnnieLee
Quote from: AnnieLee on December 20, 2004, 03:45:34 PM
Quote from: Delmonico on December 20, 2004, 03:11:48 PM
FFG, it might be too late to send Slim on a trip, but do you 'spose you could poof up some anise seed. I got a hankerin' now to make Grandma's soft anise cookies and maybe some of the more tradional hard anise cookies with the German name that I'll have too look up.
(Whisper on, I really made a mess with the last recipe postin', but Slim saved me. Does anyone notice that the FFG complained about the post a fore it's posted. Must be her fault this time. ;))
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gives a haughty sniff and a wand wave, and a packet of anise seed appears in Delmonico's pocket.
"Posh, when did I complain? That's a nice recipe, I'll have to remember how to make sour milk."
:D ;D
AnnieLee
I think its lemon juice and milk.
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on December 20, 2004, 11:39:34 AM
Quote from: Russ T Chambers on December 19, 2004, 03:17:33 PM
Russ T. finally rides into his brother's spread in Wisconsin. Took longer than normal as his horse had developed a bit of a "sluggish" ::) gait while passin' through Nebrassky . Usin' brother's telegraph to send out word to the OK Chorale what got misplaced when his horse slowed down. He's still wonderin' about the strong aroma of spoiled cabbage he noticed on the way. It's way too late for the Franksville Kraut Festival. :o :)
Did ya say where your brother's spread is?
Slim
Just got back to the telegraph. It's located at my brother's spread. His is in a corner of the original Chamber's Ranch. This is in Racine. Spend some time here and some on the Dawson Range (my wife's family spread) in Milwaukee. This is the only place with a telegraph.
Quote from: Russ T Chambers on December 20, 2004, 04:05:34 PM
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on December 20, 2004, 11:39:34 AM
Quote from: Russ T Chambers on December 19, 2004, 03:17:33 PM
Russ T. finally rides into his brother's spread in Wisconsin. Took longer than normal as his horse had developed a bit of a "sluggish" ::) gait while passin' through Nebrassky . Usin' brother's telegraph to send out word to the OK Chorale what got misplaced when his horse slowed down. He's still wonderin' about the strong aroma of spoiled cabbage he noticed on the way. It's way too late for the Franksville Kraut Festival. :o :)
Did ya say where your brother's spread is?
Slim
Just got back to the telegraph. It's located at my brother's spread. His is in a corner of the original Chamber's Ranch. This is in Racine. Spend some time here and some on the Dawson Range (my wife's family spread) in Milwaukee. This is the only place with a telegraph.
Now I remember ya telling me before. :-[
"Hey, Russ T! How's your horse?" The Frumpy Fairy Godmother rocks back on her heels and laughs as she sends the telegraph.
To make sour milk, either leave the carton out on the counter over night, leave it in refdge fer a couple of weeks, :P :P :P or add 1/2 teaspoon vineger or lemon juice per cup of milk. ;D ;) One could leave out the sour milk and add about 1 1/2 more teaspoons of baking powder and use sweet fresh milk. This ain't rocket science, but food science instead. ;)
Although you can make a small rocket with vineger and baking soda. ;D ;D ;D ;D I tried to be a rocket scientist once, twas afraid I would be arrested, cause sumthin' might have showed up on radar. Any way I don't think it hit that airplane, least I never heard about it. :o :o
Quote from: Delmonico on December 20, 2004, 04:31:21 PM
To make sour milk, either leave the carton out on the counter over night, leave it in refdge fer a couple of weeks, :P :P :P or add 1/2 teaspoon vineger or lemon juice per cup of milk. ;D ;) One could leave out the sour milk and add about 1 1/2 more teaspoons of baking powder and use sweet fresh milk. This ain't rocket science, but food science instead. ;)
Although you can make a small rocket with vineger and baking soda. ;D ;D ;D ;D I tried to be a rocket scientist once, twas afraid I would be arrested, cause sumthin' might have showed up on radar. Any way I don't think it hit that airplane, least I never heard about it. :o :o
Hey! I was right! Ya hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! ;D
Yay, Slim!!!!!
When I was a kid, I made rockets out of vinegar and baking soda. They shot very well.
AnnieLee
Quote from: AnnieLee on December 20, 2004, 04:14:34 PM
"Hey, Russ T! How's your horse?" The Frumpy Fairy Godmother rocks back on her heels and laughs as she sends the telegraph.
As Racine, I believe, means root in French I was a little worried the locals might mistake a "sluggish" horse for escargo. Was glad when he perked back up.
At least he can get me backup to the Dawson spread tonight.
Quote from: Russ T Chambers on December 20, 2004, 06:56:20 PM
Quote from: AnnieLee on December 20, 2004, 04:14:34 PM
"Hey, Russ T! How's your horse?" The Frumpy Fairy Godmother rocks back on her heels and laughs as she sends the telegraph.
As Racine, I believe, means root in French...
You are correct. I didn't know that. Learnt my one new thing for today. ;D
Slim
"I don't think he noticed that his horse smells like cabage gas. I think that means something."
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother grins.
"Pssst, Delmonico, did you get the news? Evidently Slim had a more than real good time on his weekend in Wisconsin recently, real life #5 is on the way!"
As the Frumpy Fairy Godmother chortles, Duke gives Slim a "Why, you sly dog!" look, and grins.
Quote from: AnnieLee on December 21, 2004, 12:16:37 PM
"Pssst, Delmonico, did you get the news? Evidently Slim had a more than real good time on his weekend in Wisconsin recently, real life #5 is on the way!"
As the Frumpy Fairy Godmother chortles, Duke gives Slim a "Why, you sly dog!" look, and grins.
;D
I wondered if ya was gonna figger it out by what i said. ;)
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on December 21, 2004, 12:20:28 PM
Quote from: AnnieLee on December 21, 2004, 12:16:37 PM
"Pssst, Delmonico, did you get the news? Evidently Slim had a more than real good time on his weekend in Wisconsin recently, real life #5 is on the way!"
As the Frumpy Fairy Godmother chortles, Duke gives Slim a "Why, you sly dog!" look, and grins.
;D
I wondered if ya was gonna figger it out by what i said. ;)
"I knew what you meant as soon as I saw it, and started grinning. I think it is very, very cool."
Me too! ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother was the fifth child of five. If you have a daughter are you going to name her after the FFG?
And where is Del?
AnnieLee
Quote from: AnnieLee on December 21, 2004, 02:36:11 PM
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother was the fifth child of five. If you have a daughter are you going to name her after the FFG?
And where is Del?
AnnieLee
We'll have ta see. I might have ta find out what her given name is though.
Historical trivia...
I went looking for a song to give Slim a hint about the birth name. The Google search led me to Stephen Adams, aka Michael Maybrick. Michael Maybrick wrote ballads and for a long time was paired with Frederick E. Weatherly, who is often credited with the lyrics to the song "Danny Boy." This is of interest to me because I have a firearm named Danny Boy, in large part because of that song. The thought pattern was: Anyone looking down the business end of this Dan Wesson had better start singing "Danny Boy," because, indeed, the pipes are going to be calling for him. Heh heh heh.
Anyway, it was a neat connection, for I did not know that they collaborated on the ballad I was seeking. The same ballad that would give Slim the birth name.
When were these ballads written? In the 1880s, right smack in our time period.
To me, that's pretty derned cool.
:D
AnnieLee
Quote from: AnnieLee on December 21, 2004, 11:52:27 AM
"I don't think he noticed that his horse smells like cabage gas. I think that means something."
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother grins.
As long as it wasn't smellin' like garlic butter, I got him out of town. Figured the Root and Milwaukee rivers might was the stink off him after a round trip. Even now he's still a bit aromatic. Could have been that"wood pussy" we ran into goin' back South tonight.
Completely unrelated to anything but Delmonico's story telling and knowledge of history:
I was standing in the shoe department of the store, waiting to pay for my son's shoes. A man behind me looked at some sneakers and made a comment. I replied:
"Those are Converse All Stars. They are the original athletic shoe. They were worn and promoted by basketball player Chuck Taylor, and he earned the right to have his name placed on them. Ever since, they have been lovingly referred to as 'Chucks.'"
"How about that," the man replied, "A shame the young folks don't understand a shoe like that."
"Not all of them," I quipped with a smile,"I am buying a pair for my fifteen year old. He loves them and wore out his last pair."
And as I paid for Will's Chucks, I realized I just "pulled a Delmonico."
Chucks: http://www.chucksconnection.com/history.html
:D
AnnieLee
As Delmonico gets back to the ranch late he reads what has happened durin' the day. Grinnin' he's glad it's Slim and not him. ;D ;) And then he reads the last post and wonders why the FFg said poop ta the guy in the shoe store. ;) :o ??? ;)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother takes off her hat and proceeds to beat Delmonico about the head and shoulders with it.
"Dang it, you faked the woman at the keyboard out! She went back to look at her post to see where she had said Poop! 'Pulling a Delmonico' also means just pulling random historical references out of your backbrain while in what should be a normal conversation, not just saying 'poop'."
She beats him a few more times, then has to stop because she is laughing too hard.
Quote from: AnnieLee on December 21, 2004, 11:22:52 PM
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother takes off her hat and proceeds to beat Delmonico about the head and shoulders with it.
"Dang it, you faked the woman at the keyboard out! She went back to look at her post to see where she had said Poop! 'Pulling a Delmonico' also means just pulling random historical references out of your backbrain while in what should be a normal conversation, not just saying 'poop'."
She beats him a few more times, then has to stop because she is laughing too hard.
(http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/icon_lol.gif) (http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/icon_lol.gif)
"Russ T is probably glad he is in Wiscoooooooooooonsin, instead of warm Nevady." :D
Quote from: AnnieLee on December 21, 2004, 05:16:29 PM
Historical trivia...
I went looking for a song to give Slim a hint about the birth name. The Google search led me to Stephen Adams, aka Michael Maybrick. Michael Maybrick wrote ballads and for a long time was paired with Frederick E. Weatherly, who is often credited with the lyrics to the song "Danny Boy." This is of interest to me because I have a firearm named Danny Boy, in large part because of that song. The thought pattern was: Anyone looking down the business end of this Dan Wesson had better start singing "Danny Boy," because, indeed, the pipes are going to be calling for him. Heh heh heh.
Anyway, it was a neat connection, for I did not know that they collaborated on the ballad I was seeking. The same ballad that would give Slim the birth name.
When were these ballads written? In the 1880s, right smack in our time period.
To me, that's pretty derned cool.
:D
AnnieLee
"Nancy Lee"?
"Of all the wives as e'er you know,
Yeo ho! lads, ho! Yeo ho! Yeo ho!
There's none like Nancy Lee, I trow,
Yeo ho! Yeo ho! Yeo ho!
See there she stands and waves her hands
Upon the quay, and every day
When I'm away she'll watch for me,
And whisper low when tempests blow,
For Jack at sea,
Yeo ho! lads, ho! Yeo ho!
Chorus
The sailor's wife the sailor's star shall be,
Yeo ho! We go across the sea;
The sailor's wife the sailor's star shall be,
The sailor's wife his star shall be!
The harbor's past, the breezes blow,
Yeo ho! lads, ho! Yeo ho! Yeo ho!
'Tis long ere we come back, I know,
Yeo ho! Yeo ho! Yeo ho!
But true and bright from morn till night
My home will be, and all so neat,
And snug and sweet, for Jack at sea;
And Nancy's face to bless the place,
And welcome me;
Yeo ho! lads, ho! Yeo ho!
Chorus
The bosun pipes the watch below,
Yeo ho! lads, ho! Yeo ho! Yeo ho!
Then here's a health afore we go,
Yeo ho! Yeo ho! Yeo ho!
A long, long life to my sweet wife,
And mates at sea, and keep our bones
From Davy Jones, where-e'er we be,
And may you meet a mate as sweet
As Nancy Lee.
Yeo ho! lads, ho! Yeo ho!"
The FFg should have Slim scan and send Delmonico's articles from The Shootist. Full of fiction, facts and recipees. But no poop. ;)
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on December 22, 2004, 09:19:43 AM
"Russ T is probably glad he is in Wiscoooooooooooonsin, instead of warm Nevady." :D
Seein' as how it ain't supposed to get above freezin' til the weekend :( :(, I think the 40's the telegraph tells me Roop County is enjoyin' would be quite nice. :) :) Don't even need a coat for that. ;D ;D
Quote from: Russ T Chambers on December 22, 2004, 11:30:40 AM
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on December 22, 2004, 09:19:43 AM
"Russ T is probably glad he is in Wiscoooooooooooonsin, instead of warm Nevady." :D
Seein' as how it ain't supposed to get above freezin' til the weekend :( :(, I think the 40's the telegraph tells me Roop County is enjoyin' would be quite nice. :) :) Don't even need a coat for that. ;D ;D
We might get above zero today. ;)
Slim
Oh... so crose, Glasshoppel, so crose!!
It's lovely here today, and most of my snow melted off. So there's rain in the forecast tomorrow.
Bought nearly $200 worth of groceries last night and still forgot the cranberry sauce. But I think I have enough stuff to make 3 fruit cakes and 2 pecan pies, and orange cookies... but I'd better relax and breath and organize before I start or I will have 2 pecan cakes and two orange and fruit pies and the dogs will eat the cookie dough.
:D
AnnieLee
You should try this instead of fruit cake.
SUET PUDDING
Serving Size : 2
Amount Measure Ingredient -- Preparation Method
-------- ------------ --------------------------------
1 c Suet -- chopped fine
1 c Molasses
1 c Milk
3 c Sifted flour
1 t Baking soda
4 ts Baking powder
2 ts Pumpkin pie spice OR
1 t Cinnamon and
1 t Nutmeg and
1/2 ts Allspice
1 c Raisins
1 c Nutmeats
1 c Dates, citron, currants,
1 c Citron
1 c Currants
1/2 c Prunes
-----HARD SAUCE-----
1/2 c Soft butter
1 1/2 c Confectioners' sugar -- sifted
1 t Vanilla or rum extract
-----FOAMY SAUCE-----
1 c Confectioners' sugar -- sifted
1/2 c Soft butter or margarine
2 Egg yolks -- beaten
2 Egg whites -- stiffly beaten
1 tb Brandy or rum
Mix all together and pour into two well-greased molds
(such as 1 lb. coffee cans and cover with foil.) Do
not fill over 2/3 full. Steam 2 hours in covered
kettle. Serve with foamy sauce or hard sauce. May be
frozen.
HARD SAUCE: (Use for puddings.) Cream butter with
confectioners' sugar until light and fluffy. Add
vanilla. Chill. Makes 8-10 servings of sauce
FOAMY SAUCE: (Use for puddings or cakes.) In top of
double boiler cream confectioners' sugar and butter.
Add egg yolks. Cook over simmering water, stirring
constantly, until thickened. Fold in egg whites and
brandy or rum. Serve warm. Makes 4-6 servings sauce.
Suet is what I buy at the bird seed store to feed the woodpeckers through the winter.
Real people don't eat suet.
:D
AnnieLee
Quote from: AnnieLee on December 22, 2004, 01:40:34 PM
Suet is what I buy at the bird seed store to feed the woodpeckers through the winter.
Real people don't eat suet.
:D
AnnieLee
The English do. ;D
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on December 22, 2004, 01:41:39 PM
Quote from: AnnieLee on December 22, 2004, 01:40:34 PM
Suet is what I buy at the bird seed store to feed the woodpeckers through the winter.
Real people don't eat suet.
:D
AnnieLee
The English do. ;D
And with a simple, three word sentence, Slim proves my point for me!
:D
AnnieLee
Quote from: AnnieLee on December 22, 2004, 02:09:23 PM
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on December 22, 2004, 01:41:39 PM
Quote from: AnnieLee on December 22, 2004, 01:40:34 PM
Suet is what I buy at the bird seed store to feed the woodpeckers through the winter.
Real people don't eat suet.
:D
AnnieLee
The English do. ;D
And with a simple, three word sentence, Slim proves my point for me!
:D
AnnieLee
I resemble that remark. ;)
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on December 22, 2004, 02:11:59 PM
Quote from: AnnieLee on December 22, 2004, 02:09:23 PM
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on December 22, 2004, 01:41:39 PM
Quote from: AnnieLee on December 22, 2004, 01:40:34 PM
Suet is what I buy at the bird seed store to feed the woodpeckers through the winter.
Real people don't eat suet.
:D
AnnieLee
The English do. ;D
And with a simple, three word sentence, Slim proves my point for me!
:D
AnnieLee
I resemble that remark. ;)
Bah, you aren't English, you're American. Think Duke would eat suet?
"I'll seen dawgs eat worse things." :D
"I've seen dogs lick their..." <coughs> "And the punchline always is: 'because they can!'"
Delmonico arrives back from the land of Carharts and Wolverines. He checks and his tellygraph has been fixed. ;D He reads the posts since he left home and sees that it has gotten a bit crude on the last on. :P
Readin' about the suet puddin', Englishmen and other stuff like that he wonders what the FFg thinks the other 20% is, in her 80% lean hamburger. ;D ;D :P ;)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother is wondering why Delmonico and Slim refer to her as black powder. Is she that explosive? :D
And apple-polly-woggies for getting close to the crude line there, Mr. Poop!
Anyways, 20% of a burger is one thing... it's another to have it has the main ingredient!
<Not gonna admit she's eaten blood pudding>
Slim just breeevates, I decided ta see how long the FFg would take ya ta notice. ;D ;D Suet ain't the main ingredaint, it is similar ta shortnin' is all. ;)
Sides that suet is the stuff that makes a prime beef steak prime, would it be better ifn' we called it cow fat. ;D ;D ;)
She noticed it right away, just never thought to comment on it 'til now.
Duke would eat suet.
:D
Ridin' inta the ranch after a hard day in town workin' at the dry goods store, Delmonico unsaddles his horse and puts it into the barn. Walkin' to the dugout he slips and falls flat on his back. Gettin' up he looks and he seems a silvery ribbon as far as he can see in either direction. What ever it is is is slippery and has frozen in the sub-zero weather. :- :(
Delmonico thinks his tired eyes are playin' tricks on him, cause it looks to him like one of those delicate trails a snail or a slug would leave behind, but a trail a slug the size of a horse would leave. ???
Thinkin' his tired eyes are playin' tricks on him, he hobbles stiffly to the dugout and to bed. ;)
Taking pity on the poor coozie, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother waves her wand and his soogun massages his shoulders in his sleep.
Getting an odd twinkle in her eyes, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother poofs out with a scattering of glittering sawdust.
A little while later, she poofs back in, with that small "cat who ate the canary" satisfied smile.
Delmonico comes back to the ranch late and heads right to the dugout and heads to bed. By the time he gets there it is snowing lightly and there is no wind. If he wasn't so tired he would have noticed how beutiful it is early this Christmas morning. ;)
sudenly Delmonico is awaken by strange noises outside. Peeking through the door, he sees there is a light dustin' of snow on the ground. But by now the clouds have passed and the moon is out. In the snow in front of the dugout is a bunch of hoof prints. To the side of the dugout it a large tarp coverin' somethin' liftin' the cover Delmonico see's that under it is about a 1/2 ton of good hard coal. ;D ;D ;)
Lookin' up toward the moon he sees what appears to be a sleigh, in it a large man whith long white hair and beard, wearin' what looks like red Carhart coveralls. ;D ;) But what is really srange is that the sleigh is bein' drawn, not by 8 tiny reindeer, but 8 large buck pronghorn. ;D ;D ;)
Delmonico gets up late the day after Christmas and starts to fire up the stove and clean up the dugout. (If ya want ta know about what happened on our ranch Christmas, get a Copy of Michael Martin Murphy's Cowboy Christmas and listen ta it over and over.) ;D ;)
(By the way that is a shameless plug for the BEST Christmas album ever. Sorry I sold out 3 weeks ago and could not get anymore till after Christmas.)
Delmonico has plans for later and with all the coal he won't have to be stingy with fuel. But right now it's dinner time and he is hungry. ;)
Duke is wolfing down what appears to be fried sausage, eggs, and onion wrapped in a soft tortilla. He doesn't know where they came from, but his wagging says they are good!
Delmonico is searchin' fer both his Anise cookie recipe's and can't find them. That means that he is gonna have to go upstairs and print them off on the "Old Time" word proccessooor upstairs. (Ya didn't know dugouts had an upstairs.)
But before startin' upstairs, delmonico evicts Duke from the dugout. (Remember the coal burnin' cookstove.) :P :o :'( ;)
Poor Duke whimpers and scratches at the door, not knowing what he did wrong.
Delmonico can't hear him, since he is upstairs lookin' for anise cookie recipes. ;D ;) Sides that even if he could he's got enough sense not to let a dog that has been eatin' Hueveros ranchos in a house with a wood stove or any other open flame. :P :'( :o ??? ;D ;)
After a time, Duke stops whimpering and scratching and wanders off on his evening rounds.
In the morning, Duke comes trotting back to the camp, limping a little with his rear left leg. But he's wagging as he runs, and he stops to look back, as though he is expecting to see someone coming up the trail behind him.
Delmonico opens the door and lets Duke in, since 24 hours has passed. He pulls the sandburr out of the sore foot and puts on some salve. Sorry Duke, Slim must have got lost on the way back to the ranch.
I did find both my anise cookie recipes and tommorow I might have time to make them. ;)
Russ T. comes ridin' through Newbrassky on his way back to balmy Nevada Territory. Hasn't had a problem back trailin' from Wisconsin, as there was this funny lookin' frosty, slime trail. to follow. Looks like instead of cold, he's headin' for warmer, but snow.
Duke licks a little at his paw, then gives a contented sigh and settles down, watching toward the door.
Sometime in the night, he gets up and starts barking wildly, like he smells something awful out there.
Russ T sees a yellar dawg off to his right passin' through Newbrassky. Seems he is still sniffin' that funny lookin trail. Russ knows it's not his trail he's followin', as he swapped mounts in Milwaukee at the Dawson spread, and is ridin' on one of those new Wright fliers. They seem to follow the same track as a good ol' hoss would returnin' to the home barn.
Delmonico desides to stay up late and bake cookies. Anise cookis to be exact, a Christmas tradition in many parts of the world. To those who don't know, anise is a seed of the anise plant, part of the parsley family, a relative of carrot and dill. Even though the taste is similar to licorice, it is not the same, licorice flavor is from the root of the licorice plant, this is a legume, a relative of the pea and bean. So don't be callin' these licorice cookies or I'll have to go inta one of my frothin' rages, not good when makin' cookies, maybe ok fer meringue pie cause no one would notice. ;)
A couple hours ago delmonico mixed this up and has had it chillin'. This one has also been in our family for many years and I would say it dates to at least before the Civil War by many years cause it uses 1/4 teaspoon cream of tarter and 1/2 teaspoon bakin' soda (salertus). One can just use 1 teaspoon bakin' powder for the same results.
Anise Snaps
1 1/2 cups flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon cream of tarter
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup butter
3/4 cup white sugar
1 beaten egg
1 tablespoon anise seed
Mix together dry ingrdieants, Cream butter and sugar. Add dry mixture and anise seed. Mix well until blended. Chill for at least 2 hours. Heat oven to 350. (Medium Hot) Roll dough 1/8 inch thick and cut into desired shapes. Bake 12-15 minutes on ungreased baking sheet.
While these are bakin' delmonico prepares the next ones. these are of German origin.
Springerle
2 eggs
1 cup white sugar
2 1/4 cups flour
anise seed
Beat egg and sugar for 5 minutes, mix in enough flour to make a stiff workable dough. Cover and chill for 2 hours
Roll out 1/8 inch thick, cut and sprinkle with anise seed, let dry 10 hours and bake in 325 degree (medium hot) oven on ungreased baking sheet, 1/2 inch apart for 12-15 minutes.
Delmonico will bake the hard cookies tommorow.
After makin' a bunch a noise it the "Quiet" thread in the Longbranch, Delmonico bars the door to the dugout, parks his Sharps and a case of ammo in the corner and has Duke listen fer a posse. He then goes back to his cookie bakin'. :o
Barred doors and alert retrievers don't stop some things, and as Del is mixing batter, he notices some glittering sawdust on the countertop. His hair now looks like this:
That's just plain mean. >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( ;)
Slim rides into camp, dismounts, unsaddles his horse, and puts it into the corral. He goes to the dugout, finding the door locked, he knocks on the door. "Anybody home?"
Just like in The Longbranch, Slim is shot in the arse with a double barreled load of anise seed right in the arse. ;D ;D Delmonico hollers out sumthin' 'bout moderators being able to delete ungly orange hair, but not doin' it. ;D ;D ;D
"Careful Slim, I mean bussiness, I reloaded with black pepper corns this time. ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on December 28, 2004, 11:55:21 AM
Just like in The Longbranch, Slim is shot in the arse with a double barreled load of anise seed right in the arse. ;D ;D Delmonico hollers out sumthin' 'bout moderators being able to delete ungly orange hair, but not doin' it. ;D ;D ;D
"Careful Slim, I mean bussiness, I reloaded with black pepper corns this time. ;D ;D ;D
The orange hair post, though funny, doesn't violate any CAS City rules, so I can't delete it without the posters permission. :D
Slim backs away from the door, hides behind a BIG rock, and keeps an eye on his 6 o'clock.
Knowin' Slim means bussiness, Delmonico dumps the black peppercorn shells and reloads with one's loaded with cardamom. >:( >:( >:( >:(
Now home and in the dugout, Duke scratches at the door, trying to get away from Del and his shotgun.
AnnieLee
(http://www.avalon.net/~slainte/cdpods.gif)
Slim's not sure which is worse.
While Slim is googlein' up spice pictures and cowerin' behind a rock? (Tain't no rocks big enough to hide behind out there. ;D) Delmonico slips out a tunnel in the back of the dugout and heads to the land of Wolverines and Carharts. ;D ;)
Quote from: Delmonico on December 28, 2004, 12:25:00 PM
(Tain't no rocks big enough to hide behind out there. ;D)
I can always hope. :D
Have fun playin' wit Wolverines and Carhatts.
Russ T, having arrived back in Roop County, after passing over Newbrassky, discovers that the temps are better than Wisconsin, but it looks like snow for a while. Forty's are better than teens, but the trails get squirrelly around here when it snows. Must have something to do with the altitude, or maybe the nuts. Maybe he should think about snowshoes for his hoss.
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on December 28, 2004, 12:29:52 PM
Quote from: Delmonico on December 28, 2004, 12:25:00 PM
(Tain't no rocks big enough to hide behind out there. ;D)
I can always hope. :D
Have fun playin' wit Wolverines and Carhatts.
(Aw, dang. I thought he had the day off. :'( )
Delmonico sneaks back after dark and finds Slim asleep behind his fake rock, a small line of drool is slippin' out of the corner of his mouth. :P ;) Delmonico decides that shootin' a sleepin' person in the arse with cardamom would not be fair. :o ??? ::)
So instead he leaves anise cookies and a note that says, "I could have spiced up yer life." ;D ;D ;)
One of the anise cookies seems to rise in midair with nothing holding it, but a shower of glittering sawdust falling all around it. After it is determined the cookie contians no laxatives castor oil or otherwise, or any other ingredient that would mess with Slim, Delmonico's hair is returned to normal.
Delmonico carries a couple of quilts out and covers Slim up so he don't freeze. After all he's mean, he ain't sadistic. Besides that if Slim would freeze to death, Delmonico would not have anyone to be mean to. With coal havin' to be hauled from the UP, transportation is expensive and Santa makin' a list and checkin' it twice. If Delmonico ain't on it Slim is gonna have to haul coal many a mile. ;D ;)
Shovelin' a nuther scoop inta the stove, Delmonico is tryin' ta figger out what to do to Slim next. ??? ;D ;)
During the night, Duke slips out of the dugout and makes his way to the pile of lumpy quilts behind the fake rock. He hunkers down and squirms until he is under the quilts, then shares his warmth with Slim, curled tightly against him.
Slim wakes with the sunrise to find Duke snuggled next to him. He sees that someone has left some quilts and cookies. He pats Duke on the head and gives him a cookie. Slim also eats a cookie.
Duke happily thumps his tail against the ground. Some folks may not like the taste of licorice, but he does!
Delmonico is makin' a lemon pie when he reads that post. >:( >:( He is so mad that the word licorice is used around his anise cookies that he goes into another one of his frothin' rages. >:( >:( >:( ;) The good thing is after that he don't have to beat egg whites to make meringue. :P :P :P :P :P :P
Delmonico is forgetting that Duke is a DOG.
Dogs don't know the difference between anise and licorice, and Delmonico himself said it tasted like licorice.
So there.
:P :P :P :P :P
:D
Similar, not like licorice. Licorice has a stronger more robust flavor, anise is more delicate. ;)
Lemon merigue pie anyone? :o :o ;)
Got a key lime pie in the fridge, but thanks!
:D
AnnieLee
Quote from: Delmonico on December 29, 2004, 12:15:06 PM
Similar, not like licorice. Licorice has a stronger more robust flavor, anise is more delicate. ;)
Lemon merigue pie anyone? :o :o ;)
That meringue looks kinda strange. ;)
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on December 29, 2004, 12:57:36 PM
Quote from: Delmonico on December 29, 2004, 12:15:06 PM
Similar, not like licorice. Licorice has a stronger more robust flavor, anise is more delicate. ;)
Lemon merigue pie anyone? :o :o ;)
That meringue looks kinda strange. ;)
The Frumpy Fairy God Mother just seems to be there, without any entrance. "Aye, it does. Stay away from the meringue, you don't know what is in it."
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother narrows her eyes into slits, sliding a look toward Delmonico, just knowing he's slipped over to the Historical Society to try and trick Slim.
Shhhhhhhhh, don't give Slim no hints. His Goooogler is goin' crazy. ;D ;)
And what happened ta the Sawdust.? :o
" I was in stealth mode."
:D
Quote from: AnnieLee on December 29, 2004, 03:13:56 PM
" I was in stealth mode."
:D
BWAHAHAHAH! ;D
Thank God I don't have beverages near my computer ;)
Delmonico pulls a cake out of the oven that he's been workin' on. With the cake done, he stokes up the stove with coal. "Well my dump cake is done and I used some of those almonds in it I got last night from Wymore Wrangler. Bet Slim will like it, but I 'spose that FFg will want to check it out first. FFg, ya want to check out the cake?" ;D ;D ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gives Delmonico "the look."
"What is in the cake?"
"There she is!" ;)
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on December 30, 2004, 12:33:40 PM
"There she is!" ;)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gives Slim a wide smile, and with a whirl of her skirts, wraps him up in a hug.
Delmonico graps the cake and heads out the door as the FFg sawdust settles around the coalstove. :o :o
Barooooooooooooooommm and a cross between a flash fire and a real explosion fills the dugout as the roof lifts up and selles back down in place. (The FFg should have known that sawdust will do the same as grain dust. ::) )
Delmonico re-enters the dugout which now smells like a brandin' fire. :P :P :P Slim and the FFg look like they are about to start Marine boot camp. ;D ;D ;D ;D :D
"Dump cake anyone, I didn't do nuthin' bad to it. And this is all the FFg's fault, she should have known such things around an open flame was not safe.
(Delmonico is now waitin' fer the "It's FFg's Fault" to go accross Annie's screen on her next post. ;D)
What Delmonico didn't know was that the Frumpy Fairy Godmother just took a bath in clean water, so all her sawdust was damp. Any "whoosh" would have been from Slim's passing gas as he got hugged hard by the Frumpy Fairy Godmother, so, of course....
It's All Slim's Fault!
:D
AnnieLee
:-[
Does that mean he has cabbage in his shorts. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;) ::) :P
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother doesn't know what is in Slim's shorts. She doesn't care what is in his shorts, she doesn't want to know what is in his shorts!!!
:o :o
Just a fore' the explosion did he say anything like, "I don't think that was just a fart." I hate it when someone says that cause things ain't good. :P :P :P
"He didn't say anything. He just grunted like I was hugging him to tight. I really DON'T want to know what happened in his shorts."
Delmonico sits down and writes a letter and puts it in a envalope, before sealin' it he inserts a $10 greenback. He then hads it to a guy on a pony who is ridin' by in a big hurry, "Young wiry fellow , looks like an orphan, carrin' a 51 Colt with a spare cylinder." ;D ;D ;D ;D ;)
In the mornin' a nuther rider lookin' similar brings Delmonico a lage package. Delmonico signs for the package and heads inta the dugout. In the package is a canary and a cage. Just like in a coal mine, the canary will warn the occupents of the danger of a dangerous build up of gas. ;D ;D :P
(Whats a matter, never heard of Overnite "Pony" Express.) ;D ;D ;D ;D ::)
Alright, quit blaming me for that explosion! Oh, yeah, I forget everything here is:
Slim's fault!
::)
The FFg said it was you, I figgered it was sawdust. If I don't listen to her she'll be mean to me. ;D ;D ::) :o ;)
Yesterday she turned me inta a newt. ;D ;D ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother poofs in with a scattering of sawdust.
"I did not. Delmonico must have annoyed a witch. Witches like newts."
"Delmonico, were you making Glenda the good witch mad again?" :P
Waaaalll I ain't sure who did it, but thar was sawdust stuck ta my slimy skin. :P :P :P :P :P
Quote from: Delmonico on January 02, 2005, 09:58:34 PM
Waaaalll I ain't sure who did it, but thar was sawdust stuck ta my slimy skin. :P :P :P :P :P
:o :o :o
Oh, no!! Delmonico has irked Norm Abrams!!!
Ok, how can I have irked him, don't even know who he is. ??? ??? ;)
Quote from: Delmonico on January 02, 2005, 11:33:48 PM
Ok, how can I have irked him, don't even know who he is. ??? ??? ;)
You don't know Norm?!? :o :o
And here I thought you knew everyone, Delmonico.
Norm Abrams is the carpenter from "This Old House" and "The New Yankee Workshop." He's the guy who did all the work on the old Bob Villa show.
AnnieLee
Norm also had a closetful of plaid flannel shirts.
Never watch any of those kinda shows. I do 'member sumthin' years ago about Bob gettin' in trouble cause someone was watchin' one a his shows and said, "Wait, I didn't issue no buildin' permit fer that house." :o :o ;D ;D ;D
I put those shows in the same class a fishin' shows many years ago, can catch fish or fix anything the editin' of the film allows. ;D ;D ::) ::) ::)
Norm talks like Stoney. ;D
Rita watches the "I'm gonna hire a wino to decorate our home" shows on TLC, but they have no taste and do cheap tacky work. ;)
She also watches those shows where they do make overs, heck I should have my own makeover show, I do a better job than they do. ;D ;D ;)
Sides that I know it was the FFg that turned me inta a newt. ;)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother poofs in with a scattering of sawdust and a raised brow.
"Oh? And just how do you know that, Delmonico?"
As soon as Delmonico sees the saw dust in the air he lights a lucifer (kitchen match) tosses it and ducks as the poof of a mild dust explosion rattles the single window of the dugout. ;D ;D ;D ;D
"Just a good guess", says Delmonico as he gets back up off the ground, ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
"Some wood butcher on a PBS show would never do that."
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother shakes her head with a smile.
"Dear Delmonico, what did you think that *poof* was when I come and go? Did you think it was the cosmos passing wind?"
"If you want me to turn you into a newt, I can."
With that, she slowly pulls her wand.
Stop, don't do it or we'll have to go through a dozen or more posts doin' bad Monty Python impressions. ;D ;D ;D ;D ::) ::) ::) :D :D ;) ;)
But did you get better??
:D :D :D
AnnieLee
"We'll see if he gets better."
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother waves her wand:
POOF!!!!
Del turns into:
To quote Slim: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. :o ::) ;D ;)
To quote Slim and Delmonico
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!
:D ;D :o ::) ;) :)
Slim slides into camp and goes into the dugout and sees Newt. "I'm sorry in must be in the wrong dugout." :D
Delmonico opens the door slightly and Duke comes out a pees on Slim's leg. He then goes back in and the door is lammed shut and latched. >:( >:( >:( >:( (Duke ain't no dummy, he knows which side his bread is buttered on.) ;D ;D ;D ;D ;)
Slim is begaining to wonder which side his is buttered on when the window opens and a slice of bread comes flying out. Slim picks up the bread and then he knows, the side that landed face down.) ??? ??? ??? ::) ::) ::) :o :o :P :P ;D ;D :D :D ;)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother glares at Duke. Vastly ashamed of his poor behaviour, Duke slips back out of the dugout and grovels at Slim's feet for forgiveness.
"He are forgiven Duke. Just be careful who ya take advice from." :D
Slim does not notice the smirk on the dogs face and turns aroud to unsaddle his horse. He is bit on the arse by the yallar dog who runs quickly back to the dugout where the door is opened just enough to let him in. Delmonico then gives the dog a grilled steak usin' a recipe from a famous chef. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D This is to help get the taste of anise out of the dogs mouth. ;D ;D ;D
This all happens so fast the FFg can't do nothin' about it with here toilet plunger. :o ::) :P ;D :D :D :D ;)
Slim takes his "Mighty Ten" outta the saddle scabbard and a handful of shells outta the saddlebag. There is a "thunk, thunk" sound as the shells are chambered in the 32" barrels. Slim calmly walks in front of the dugout door and squeezes both triggers. The noise is deafening and the smoke obscures his view of the door.
When the smoke clears the door is reativly undamaged, just small seeds stuck in it. ;D ;D ;D Slim lloks a the wad on the end of the shell and it says "ANISE" and the headstamp says, "Delmonico Catridge CO." ;D ;D ;D
Slim looks through his pockets and saddle bags and realizes all the shells he has are anise seed ones from the "Too Quiet" thread. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
The door opens a bit and a yaller dog sticks it's head out the door and sticks his tongue out at Slim. :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P
Suddenly licorice jelly beans are landin' at his feet and Delmonico is at the window of the dugout with a Colt Lightning pump gun in 38-40, shootin' jelly beans at his feet. The food fight has crossed over from the "Too Quiet" thread, just like what happened in "Blazing Saddles." :D :D :D :D ;)
Slim runs back to his horse, grabs his saddlebags, and hides behind his styrofoam boulder. "Thunk, thunk". I aims at the window and pulls both triggers with a deafening BOOM and a cloud of smoke. ;D
Delmonico sees Slim duck behind the styro-foam rock and closes the windo to protect himself from the anise seed Slim is shootin' at him. ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)
Suddenly the door opens and a 1/2 gallon jar heads Slim's way. It hits the ground with a thud and breaks, with a muffled boom. :o :o :o Slim finds himself covered with Kim Chee. ::) ::) ;D ;D :D ;) ;)
The food fight has turned into Chemical Warefare. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Suddenly slim's eyes start to water and his throat starts to burn, the wind is bringin' the smoke from the chimmineeey of the stove his way. Slim suddenly realizes Delmonico has add chili peppers to the stove. :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
Slim drops his "Mighty Ten" and runs for the river. Reaching the banks of the river, he washes his eyes and drinks water to cool the effects of the Chemical Warfare. He walks back to his horse and gets his shovel. He digs up a patch of sod, goes to the hill side of the dugout, and places the sod over the chimney. ;D
As Slim is placin' the sod over the chimney, he realizes he ain't watchin' his backside as he feels the familar bite. ;D ;D ;D He jumps forward, knockin' the sod loose and gets chili pepper and coal smoke in his eyes again. ;D :'( :'( :'( :D ;) As he heads to the crick another kim chee bomb explodes at his feet and covers him with fermented cabbage. :o :o :o :o :o :o
Suddenly all around him funny brown sorta round objects start landin' and he hears a boom in the background. ;D ;D Cleanin' his eyes behind the bank of the crick, he looks up and feels a sting on his chest and a grease stain appears on his shirt. ;D ;D ;D Pickin' up the object that hit him Slim realizes that Delmonico is now shootin' at him with a shotgun loaded with fried chicken gizzards. :o ::) ;D :D ;) :P
Slim ducks back down behind the bank of the crick, he is now seperated from his horse, his shotgun, his saddle bags and even his styreeefoam rock. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D He checks his 45 Colt and finds out he has only 3 gumdrops left in it. ;D ;D ;D ;D He peeks up from the bank and the scene sends shivers up his back, :o :o :o :o :o Delmonico now has got a 12 pound Mountyannie howitzer in front of the dugout. :o :o He can only watch in fear as the silk bag of powder goes in, followed by not one but two cylinders, :D :D :D Delmonico is gona fire "Double Canister" at him. ;D ;D
Slim has watched the movie "Gettysburg" and knows that double caniter is really bad to have shot at you. ::) ::) He watches in fear as delmonico uses the prick to open the bag and adds the pull primer. ;D ;D
As the minutes seem like hours, Slim wishes the FFg would show up with her toilet plunger and make the howitzer go away. ;D ;D ;D She could change it inta somethin' else, ::) ::) no that didn't work, she turned Delmonico inta the wrong kind of Newt and now he was on a rampage again. >:( >:(
As the minutes tick on, Slim whishes he hadn't laughed this mornin', ;D ;D he wishes it hadn't of snowed and iced bad in Lincoln Newbrassky ::) ::) ??? ;) cause then they wouldn't have closed the store early and Delmonico would be at work. :D :D He would be waitin' on customers and he wouldn't be bored and snowed in with nuthin' to do. ;) Instead Slim is down in the mud of the crick and Delmonico is on the hill with that awful lookin' gun. ;D ;D :o
As the minutes tick by he is really begainin' to worry, :o what would a crazy cosie that had been changed into a Newt Ginggrich look alike load in a howitzer as a double canister load. :P :P ::) :o ;D ;) It's liable to be somthin' really bad. ;D Maybe blue berries, Slim's wife would never be able to get the stains out. :o :o Maybe sugar cubes, :o :o ;D those would really hurt goin' through, cubes, would the holes be square or round. ;D ;D :D ;)
The minutes tick on, ;D with the store closed, snow fallin' dishes down and nuthin' good on TV, >:( Delmonico has nuthin' ta do but make Slim sweat. ;D :D ;) Suddenly Slim wants to do sumthin' besides sweat, he feels a rumblin'. :o :o Now he's in big trouble, he don't want to die with poop in his pants, ;D he don't want to die with his pants down. ;D :o
Nuthin' to do but run and hope it is either quick or Delmonico misses, but how do you miss with double caniters at 200 yards. :o :o :o :o :o Well it's no or never and as Slim splashes through the crick and up the hill on the other side, Delmonico pulls the lanyard. :o :o
BBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As Slim is hit and the dirt splatters all around him, Slim realizes that Delmonico has shot him with a double canister load of Brussel Sprouts. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Just as things are getting really interesting, Delmonico takes a breath, realising he is inhaling some glittering sawdust. But before he can sneeze it out, there is a small *poof* and Del is turned into:
As Slim was thinkin' he was about out of range, Delmonico was reloadin' with solid shot for more range, ;D a muskmelon. Just as he was about to pull the lanyard, saw dust apears and he is turned inta a Newt by the FFg. ;D ;D ;D ;)
Slim not realizin' he is safe keeps runnin' and tryin' not to poop his pants, expextin' to be hit by a frozen chicken at any time. ;D ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother stares down at the newt named Delmonico.
"Are you going to behave a while, or will I have Duke munch on you, or stick you on a spit and roast you? Rotisserie newt is pretty tasty!"
Suddenly the "Newt" gets "better" and pulls the lanyard. Slim is almost hit by a Muskmelon. ;D ;D
And Delmonico is chomped in the backside by Duke.
Delmonico takes his howitzer and goes back in the dugout and latches the door. Leavin' Duke ouside with Slim with nuthin' ta eat but slightly bruised Brussel Sprouts that have a sulpurous taste. ;D
Now that Slim is green, greasy, and muddy, he decides ta go ta town ta git cleaned up and get more "ammo". He jumps on his horse and heads fer town. After he gets cleaned up, he finds a room for the night.
Poor Slim is tired and goes right to sleep, suddenly just before 11 there is a lot of noise and ruckas in the street below. ;D ;D ;D Suddenly there is the noise of shots in the street and gumdrops come crashin' through the hotel window. ;D ;D :D
A food fight has broken out in the street. ;D
Unbeknowst (I like that word) to Newt/Del, Slim has secured the use of a Gatlin gun and 10,000 rounds loaded with gumdrops. Slim points the barrels out the window toward the street and starts crankin' on the handle. Gumdrops fall like rain. ;D
Back at the dugout, Delmonico can hear the rattle of the Gatlin' gun and he is glad he is locked down in his dugout. ;D ;D ;D The traitor dog Duke whines outside cause he's hungry and Slim neglected to take him to town with him. ;) ;) The FFg is no where to be seen and Duke is so sorry he forgot which side his bread was buttered on. ;D ;D ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother opens her umbrella and puts it over her head.
"Is this Newbrassky or Candyland?"
Duke, the much abused yellow dog, retreats to the safety of the umbrella, where the Frumpy Fairy Godmother gives him a hambone with large chunks of meat still attached.
While Slim, the yaller dog and the FFg are dodgin' gumdrops in the streets, Delmonico loads up his mule for a trip. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D He leaves a note that says: "I gots bussiness I need to do in North Platte, you'll have to get yer own supper till I get back." ;D ;)
He leaves the note along with a recipe fer gumdrop cookies tacked to the door of the dugout. ;D ;D
While Delmonico is gone, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother, Duke, and Slim get busy, restoring the dugout, cleaning it, cleaning out the stinking remnants of kimchee, slopping the nearly forgotten hogs and tending to the cattle. By the time Del gets back, the place looks as normal as it gets.
:D
Delmonico rides back to the ranch with an "I've got a secret look on his face." ::) ::) He has a fella with a wagon haulin' some supplies which he unloads in the dugout. After the supplies are unloaded he pays the man with the wagon and the fella heads on down the road. ??? ??? ???
Among the supplies are a very nice hand hammered sheet irun wok and several bottles of soy sauce. Other strange packages and bottles are quickly put in the cupboards. Duke wags his tail, but only gets a scowl, he is really begain to realize there might not be no more bread buttered on any side, most likey he will only get margerine for a while. ::) ::) ;D :D ;)
Margerine! >:( That's a dirty word in Wiscoooooooooooooonsin. ;)
Well if'n you and that yaller dog upset the cook much more yer both gonna get nuthin' to eat but Velveta cheese samwiches, with margerine on Wonder bread and yer gonna get "Soy" milk ta wash it down. ;D ;D ;D Fer dessert yer gonna get Twinkies. ;D ;D ;D ;D Tommorow ya get the same thing fer dessert but ya get Turkey bolonga with that fake mayo stuff on it on yer samwhich. ;D ;D
No ya must 'scuse me, I gotta talk to a cosie about some sourdough biscuits and some shaved venison. Newbrassky Cheese Steaks fer me ta nite. ;D ;D ;D
Duke gives Slim a look with a question in his eyes that says: "Upset the cook, didn't he start this mess?"
Well maybe I did start it, but I've been mostly stuck in the house since Sunday night., I'm goin' stir crazy. :o :o :o But wait till what I ordered in North Platte gets delivered. :) You will like what am am gettin' us fer the ranch. It's what we really need. :o :o
Quote from: Delmonico on January 05, 2005, 05:37:03 PM
...Velveta cheese samwiches, with margerine on Wonder bread and yer gonna get "Soy" milk ta wash it down. ;D ;D ;D Fer dessert yer gonna get Twinkies. ;D ;D ;D ;D Tommorow ya get the same thing fer dessert but ya get Turkey bolonga with that fake mayo stuff on it on yer samwhich. ;D ;D ...
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!La, la, la. I can't hear you.
"I'm just wondering what happened to the recipe for gumdrop cookies. They sound good!"
It was with the note that said "I'm goin' ta town." ;D ;D ;D ;) Slim most likey took it home and had Mrs. Slim bake him cookies. ;D ;D ;D ::) ;)
Quote from: Delmonico on January 06, 2005, 03:15:12 PM
It was with the note that said "I'm goin' ta town." ;D ;D ;D ;) Slim most likey took it home and had Mrs. Slim bake him cookies. ;D ;D ;D ::) ;)
:-X ;D
Ok, can't 'member fer sure, but I think the last time I baked them I just used a chocolit cookie recipe and where it said chocolit chips I used cut up gum drops. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Did Delmonico get that pasta maker AnnieLee's been wanting? Enquiring minds wanna know.
Quote from: AnnieLee on January 07, 2005, 01:18:52 PM
Did Delmonico get that pasta maker AnnieLee's been wanting? Enquiring minds wanna know.
Isn't that called "the kids"? ;D
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on January 07, 2005, 01:59:12 PM
Quote from: AnnieLee on January 07, 2005, 01:18:52 PM
Did Delmonico get that pasta maker AnnieLee's been wanting? Enquiring minds wanna know.
Isn't that called "the kids"? ;D
Naw, the kids make "paste", not "pasta," though they do eat it!
:D
AnnieLee
No it ain't no pasta machine. ;D ;D ;D Much better. It will be here sometime next week. ;D ;D ;D
Hmmmmm.... not a pasta machine... not a wok, I just saw one of those brought in... can't be a bread machine, Del would have a conniption fit... can't be a new dutch oven, he's already got 342,321,678 of those...
Dang it, Del, what is it?? I know you are busting to tell us, so tell us!
AnnieLee
Nope, i'll be here Wndsday or Thursday. Gonna get in Today at North Platte and it's gonna take a few days fer the wagons to haul here. ;D ;D ;D
Hmmm.... it's taking wagons days to haul it! Oh, I know, I know, it's a Pizza Oven!!!
Noooope, I can do pizza in dutch ovens and it's good. ;D ;D
"Hrm. Perhaps it is something for those hogs you have, the ones that nobody seems to feed or take care of or anything like that? Did you get a smoker?"
When slim get back on Monday let's have him just take that herd a pigs and drive them to market. ;D ;D ;D He could take them to Oggeylaaala, bet that would suprise them, Slim and his herd a pigs riddn' in ta town. :o :o
If ya mackin the pizza order the good chez from acrosed the big pond. Have someone spit up a bunch of ceder and abit of Osage, need the fire reel hot.
< A brief interruption>
Hey, Del and GopherGrease, there's a newbie over on the Frontier spot who could use your help: http://www.frontierspot.org/viewtopic.php?t=25243
AnnieLee
While we are sendin' fer the water buffalo milk cheese in olive oil can we get a couple or three cans of them little bitty fish fillets that are kinda salty. ;D ;D ;D ;D I loves them on my pizzza and they be period correct. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Fact is that pizzza oven ain't a bad ideaer, lets get Slim to stop by Yankee hill or Endicot and get us some brick. Ya want yaller brick or red brick. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Sorry Annie we gots to wait about 20 years for the pasta machine to be of any use ta us. ;D ;D ??? ???
Del, red or yaller dont matter much as long as you have him get one of the yaller ones 2" thick and 3' square. We can build a little sod house, with the oven as one wall. Should make for a danddy place to hang some of them hogs. :P ;D As for the pasta, you was born with the best thing going, HANDS.
The FFg's gonna have ta whop ya with yer hat, we could build a pasta machine from the plans that Thomas Jefferson made of the one he had smuggled over the Alps. But we ain't gonna get no durum wheat (Triticum durum) to make the semolina till early in the next century. ;D ;D ;D I would think you would remember that. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Okie, smarty pants Delmonico, then how do you explain how macaroni and cheese was popular during that so called "Civil" war, hmmmmm????
8)
Slim comes riding into camp on top of a wagon. The wagon has all of the items that Del and Gophergrease wanted, cuz Del telegraphed the list to Slim when he was in Wiscooooooooooooooonsin. "Here's the stuff ya ordered, guys."
"I'll eat some breakfast. Then, if Duke wants ta help, we will drive the pigs to Oggeylaaala."
Duke, who would rather be out running around and chasing after hogs with Slim than eating anchovies, perks up his ears and springs to his feet, ready to go.
Slim grabs some breakfast and grub for a couple days in case there is a need for it. "Okay, Duke, lets drive dem hawgs." Slim opens the pig sty gate and mounts his horse. "Duke, get dem hawgs outta the sty!"
There is a small hesitation as Duke takes in the aromoa... nae, the STENCH of the sty, then he blinks away the tears in his eyes and leaps on in. Dodging feet and snouts, he runs around the inside edge of the sty, barking and nipping at porcine heels until all the hogs are driven out the gate.
Well Miss FFg, the macaroni was imported from Italy. Thats why it was considered a luxury dish. Not cause mac and cheese is so great to eat, but cause it was expensive. ;D ;D ;D
Remember, first rule of gooooorment cookin', "if it's hard to get and it's expensive, it's goooooment." ::) ::) ::) :D ;)
Trinity walks in after being gone for a long time. His absence began with a quick trip to town for a drink. While on his way back to camp after more than just a drink, Trinity fell off of his horse into cacti which were providing shelter for a family of scorpions and fire ants and passed out. Well, actually he was already out when he lost hold of the horse. Speaking of his horse, well he was never really very reliable and decided not to wait for his drunken passenger and continued upon his wayward journey. Trinity was never actually aware that he was not headed to camp and when he finally awoke in severe pain he finally realized that he was being lost. He rose from the cactus bed and in doing so he stirred the ants and scorpions that had settled in his clothing and the barrage of pain began again. This time Trinity was awake and sober! ...But he doesn't want to talk about it...too embarrassing. All Trinity cares to talk about is the travelling caravan of ladies that nursed him back to health (in most ways that is, but in others they almost killed him).
What's that ya say 'bout mah favoryte dish, Delmonico??? Ah love me some Mac-or-ony and cheese. Well, anything with cheese is some kinda good!! You know, you can make up a goooood mess of M-or-O and C in one of yer pots there, what do you say???
Delmonico just shakes his head wonderin' how Trinity got that lost to come a foul of scorpins and fire ants cause he's way to far North for that. But from his past record we all know he "could" get that lost. ;D ;D ;D ;D And of course that would be none to far for our pal to ride for a drink, maybe he wanted Teukilllya, most likly ain't much in the saloons around here. ;D ;D ;D ;D
"Ok pard in hornor of ya comin' back aI'll make ya Macaroni and Cheese and I'll use the Thomas Jefferson recipe, might as well, since he almost caused a war with Italy with his desire for the stuff."
"Slim brings use plenty of cheese from Wissyconsion also butter, cause I won't use no margerine in it. I gots some onions in the root cellar and plenty of canned milk, but I don't have no macaroni." ::) ::) ::)
"Trinity can you ride down to North Platte and get some with out gettin' lost?"
Slim rides into camp with Duke trotting along. "Del, I picked up 10 pounds of macaroni since someone was talkin' 'bout it yesterday." He dismounts and gives the macaroni to Del. "Well, Trinity, ya found yer way back ta camp!"
Duke looks mighty happy, having washed the hog slop off in the creek and running around with a ham bone in his mouth. He saunters up to Trinity to give him an exploratory sniff and a wag of his tail.
Delmonico takes the macaroni and heads to the dugout with it, as he heads off he is singing:
Yankee Doodle went to town,
up on a stylish stallion.
Stuck a feather in his hat,
and called it macaroni.
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)
Del, a pasta can be made just fine with good old flour, only need the other for dry Mac.
3 cups AP flour and 4 egg yolks. Baet the eggs, mix in flour and keep kneeding till your arms ready to fall off then have someone else go a bit more. Roll thin and cut in strips. "AKA Fettuccine"
Welcome back Trinitty.
Del we to get a big fire going it clean and seasen this new oven. I got me a 20qt '5gal', only tips the scales by 43 lbs.
Well that 'splains why I have good luck till I tried to dry it. :o I ain't gonna build no fire tonight, I be nasty out there and It be freezin' on the car vindows. :o :o :o :o :o :o :o Gonna take a half bottle of olive oil ta season that thing. :o :o
Least we won't have ta jump up and down on the oven next time we cook a turkey. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Could need to get most of a Osage tree burnin to make the top jump off, and get the wax out. But if slim hadnt ran all the hog to market we be able to scald em. ;D ;D ;D
Dry pasta that you buy is just Semolina and H2O.
The mine has a lot more taste but alot of work. The old gals in italy use there feet to work it :o :o :o :-\
Thanks ver' much for the kind welcomes. Hey there duke! Good boy, yeah, good dog... ok, yah aint gotta sniff there.
It is good to be back. Ah aint really sure where ah was when I "found" them scorpeens. I seem to 'member havin' a drink in mah favorite drinkin' hole in San Antone. Ah thought that was on of them halooosogins... uh, daydreams. Reckon it weren't.
Say Delmonico, what in tarnation is Margerine? Sounds like a girl Ah met down Mexico way, but not nothing ya would want to eat. Thanks fer makin that Mac-or-ony cheese. Ah like it best when there's a puddle of yellow earl on top! Mah Mama used ta spoon it off, but Ah like ta mix it in! Mah Papy says that's why mah chest hurts sometimes! ::) ::)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother pops back in with a scattering of sawdust.
"Howdo, Trinity, good to see you!" She says with a warm smile, then turns an even warmer smile to Gophergrease.
"Seems like I should be listening to you and not that miscreant, licorice eating Delmonico. He's been telling me you have a dutch oven big enough to cook a small child."
She turns her head and shielding her face from Trinity and GG, she sticks her tongue out at Delmonico.
:P
think as soon as we get it ready, we need to see what kind of cake can be mixed up in it.
Slim peers out the dugout window. "Fog is thick as pea soup this morning."
"That's not fog, that's Delmonico's kimchee."
:D
Did ya want some pea soup, I gots some leftover back in Lincoln, I could make a trip and get some, if ya don't mind leftovers. :o ::) 1999 was a good year fer pea soup. ;D ;D
"Ya don't hafta make the trip fer me. I'z not a pea soup fan. 'Sides it may be a bit greener that when it was first made."
Nope, I ate some the other day, still fine. ;D ;D ;D ;D Still got big chunks a ham in it. ;D
"Ya mean ta say it is canned?"
Yup, you ain't as dumb as folks been sayin'. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D Homemade soup from a jar is much better than factory stuff from a can. ;D ;D Don't bother though, ya can't do chicken and noodle, it don't verk. ??? :P
"Who's ben sayin' I'z dum?!?!" >:(
(http://gladstone.uoregon.edu/~bgamble/webquest/noose.JPG)
The 7 knot hangmans noose was traditionaly used for horse thieves and the 13 knot one was used for murderers. ;D ;D ;D If someone called ya dumb ya just shot them. :o :o ;D :D ;)
"Okay, I'll use me new rifle." ;D
(http://www.cimarron-firearms.com/images/CivHenry.jpg)
The audience sees that rifle and gives a collective:
"Ohhhhhh.... Ni.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.ce....."
:D
I hope Slim didn't pay to much fer that rifle, they done made it outa cheap brass and the fergot ta put the loadin' gate and the forearm on it. :o :o :o :o :o ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ;D ;D ;D ;D :D :D ;)
Quote from: Delmonico on January 12, 2005, 05:23:40 PM
I hope Slim didn't pay to much fer that rifle, they done made it outa cheap brass and the fergot ta put the loadin' gate and the forearm on it. :o :o :o :o :o ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ;D ;D ;D ;D :D :D ;)
Slim
Add two more twists to that knot, and it might work on someone impugning the dignity of one's rifle. ::) ;D ;D ;D
Bet it shoots them wimpy peeestol catridges too!!!!! ;D ;D ::) ;) ;) Member how long it took that fellar ta die when Gus shot him with his Henry!!!!! :P :P
Del, have you unpacked the wagon loads yet? I ant seen what it has you had to order from back east.
I rode out about noon, the wagons was about 20 miles south of us. They will be here in the mornin'. We will be a right modern operation then, just like that fancy out fit off North-West of us. Ya know that one the folks from Massycuuusists own, the Bay State Cattle Company. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
We will have 'equipment" and "supplies" as fancy as their's. ;D ;D ::) ::) :o :o ;D ;) ;)
Er, uh excuse me, but kin we go back to talkin' about makin' cake in Delmonico's extry big dutch oven? Ah shore like Cake!!!! So long as Miss Annie leaves them young'uns out of the pot, Ah'll be happy. Ya got any chawk-lit, Delmonico? That's mah favorite! If'n ya need me to, Ah can ride to town and git us some. Uh... Ah can also git some spirits fer us too! What do you think? ;D ;D ;D ;D
Trinity, if you do the mixn, I'll make you one.
I got a bit of rum, and an orange. As always I got plenty of coco.
Dont think we need to use that new one, a bit big.
Ain't no need to mix the rum with anything, just pass it on over here.
Think about the fire ants, puting a little in the choco cake is a good thing.
As soon as I can get it in the oven, we can warm up some cider.
Spiced cider with a shot of rum, will help take the chill off.
weather man just said its 19 in south NE, and will 7-10 by 7:00 am
The rum reminded Delmonico of a drink a cook on a British Man-O-War told him about one time at a meetin' of "Victorian Age Cooks Assoootiation." (This is a world wide trade union of cooks in English speakin' countries. ;D) Then thinkin' that they really have missed Trinity and are glad to have him back, he puts the bottle of castor oil away for a while. :o ;D ;)
Twas a talkin' with a fella today tellin' him bout GG's new oven, tolt him I might have to make a large loaf of bread in it sometime. ;D Got to do some chipherin' to figger out the proper prooportions as to flour and water. ;D ;D
With that Delmonico heads to the dugout to sleep for the night, "Just wait till those wagons get here tommorow, I got a surprise fer you all. ;D ;D ;D ;) ;) ;) By the way, I went to the top of the hill that Slim uses when he comes back on Monday to check things out a fore he rides into the ranch, could see their campfire about 5 miles out. Oh by the way, when I was in North Platte i got a chance to look at a map of the area, that hill of Slim's is called <Hornet's Nest Hill>."
::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :D :D :D :D :D :D ;)
Del, you best stay off that hill. You wount have that little eppy pin for nuther 120+ years and the dog cant do "CPR"
Quote from: Delmonico on January 12, 2005, 06:17:53 PM
Bet it shoots them wimpy peeestol catridges too!!!!! ;D ;D ::) ;) ;) Member how long it took that fellar ta die when Gus shot him with his Henry!!!!! :P :P
I'M BAAAAACK! ;D ;D ;D
At least Gus hit the fellow (and since he was a no good scum, he could take forever to die >:( ) The other bad guys were shootin' a big buffalo rifle and they couldn't hit poop ;D with it.
Comin' down off the hill Delmonico hollors, "The wagons are about 1 mile out, all 25 of them." ;D
"I'm safe on the hill cause it's 'bought 0 out there this mornin' no hornets out. Sides that if'n I don't go up there with Slim I should be fine, I don't stir up no hornet's nests with no stick. :o I use a shotgun and #9 shot from a safe distance." ;D ;D ;D
Course the only reason Gus hit that fellar and he missed Gus was that Larry M. wrote it that way in the script. The gutshot at that range with the Henry takin' so long to die, was the most belivable part of that scene. ;D
Quote from: Russ T Chambers on January 12, 2005, 05:47:14 PM
Quote from: Delmonico on January 12, 2005, 05:23:40 PM
I hope Slim didn't pay to much fer that rifle, they done made it outa cheap brass and the fergot ta put the loadin' gate and the forearm on it. :o :o :o :o :o ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ;D ;D ;D ;D :D :D ;)
Slim
Add two more twists to that knot, and it might work on someone impugning the dignity of one's rifle. ::) ;D ;D ;D
I could do that. ;D
Slim
Quote from: Delmonico on January 12, 2005, 06:17:53 PM
Bet it shoots them wimpy peeestol catridges too!!!!! ;D ;D ::) ;) ;) Member how long it took that fellar ta die when Gus shot him with his Henry!!!!! :P :P
I shoots .44 WCF rifle cartridges. They may be wimpy compared to .45-70-500 but I would hate to be shot with one. :(
Quote from: Delmonico on January 12, 2005, 10:53:35 PM
The rum reminded Delmonico of a drink a cook on a British Man-O-War told him about one time at a meetin' of "Victorian Age Cooks Assoootiation." (This is a world wide trade union of cooks in English speakin' countries. ;D) Then thinkin' that they really have missed Trinity and are glad to have him back, he puts the bottle of castor oil away for a while. :o ;D ;)
Twas a talkin' with a fella today tellin' him bout GG's new oven, tolt him I might have to make a large loaf of bread in it sometime. ;D Got to do some chipherin' to figger out the proper prooportions as to flour and water. ;D ;D
With that Delmonico heads to the dugout to sleep for the night, "Just wait till those wagons get here tommorow, I got a surprise fer you all. ;D ;D ;D ;) ;) ;) By the way, I went to the top of the hill that Slim uses when he comes back on Monday to check things out a fore he rides into the ranch, could see their campfire about 5 miles out. Oh by the way, when I was in North Platte i got a chance to look at a map of the area, that hill of Slim's is called <Hornet's Nest Hill>."
::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :D :D :D :D :D :D ;)
Ya made that up! Show me if it's true. (No I ain't from Mizzera.) :P
Slim, since you be the moderator here would you please read the name of this forum to yerself 5 times. ;D ;D If'n that don't work write the title on the blackboard 1000 times. ::) (No cut and paste on blackboards. ;D)
Please get this straight cause the wagons is just over the hill. ;) ;)
"Tall tales. Tall tales. Tall tales. Tall tales. Tall tales." ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother shoots a look at Delmonico, then whispers to Slim:
"Don't worry, he makes a lot of stuff up."
:D
"Ya mean we don't have a cattle ranch in Newbrasssssky?" :o :o :o :o :(
LOOK!! There goes an Hell-in-computer from the too quiet thread! ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on January 13, 2005, 10:05:55 AMplease read the name of this forum to yerself 5 times. ;D ;D
If he clacks his heels will he go to Kansas? ;D
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
"Last time one o' dem contraptions flew o'er they carried me off. I gotta hide."
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on January 13, 2005, 11:12:04 AM
Quote from: Delmonico on January 13, 2005, 10:05:55 AMplease read the name of this forum to yerself 5 times. ;D ;D
If he clacks his heels will he go to Kansas? ;D
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Not Kansas! ;D
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on January 13, 2005, 11:13:41 AM
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
"Last time one o' dem contraptions flew o'er they carried me off. I gotta hide."
Well...you could hide in.... well...
KANSAS ::)
Oops I guess I missed that last post of yours. NOT! ;D
Just then 25 freight wagons pull up to the ranch bringing.............................
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
a modern (for the 1880's) 3 story house all prefabbed and shipped out to Newbrasskey, like the famous one The Bay State Cattle Company shipped to Sioux County.
"Are we opening up a hotel?" ???
Are you going to open a "billiards" parlour? ::)
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on January 13, 2005, 11:36:01 AM
Are you going to open a "billiards" parlour? ::)
"We wouldn't be able ta get ya outta there." ::)
You two just get out of the way and let these guys get it put up. ;D ;D They're on a skeedual, they got to have it up by this time next week, that's when the furnature and carpets are comin' in, so Slim, please wipe yer feet. ;D ;D ::) ;)
"Carpets? Fancy!" ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother's jaw drops open and she gawks a bit, then her jaw snaps shut as she turns on Delmonico.
"Where in the blue blazes did you get the money to buy a house? Did you hold up a train??"
I sold my diamond mine in Wyoming to some English Earl. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
"There are diamond mines in Wyomin?" :o :o :o :o
"And how can you have a pre-fab fireplace?"
There was at least one sold to Englishmen in the 1880's, least that's what the title said. ;D ;D ;D ;D
The #22 wagon has yaller brick from the Yankee Hill Brick Company of Yankee Hill Newbrasskey. ;D ;D Got a mason also drivin' that wagon. Go back up to Long Pine Creek Slim and get the FFg some logs fer the fire place. ;D ;D ;D
"With all that coal you got for Christmas, is the house just to store the coal?"
We'll store the coal in the dugout, won't need that no more. ;D Gonna have a summer kitchen so I won't have to heat up the house in the summer. ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on January 13, 2005, 11:52:58 AM
You two just get out of the way and let these guys get it put up. ;D ;D They're on a skeedual, they got to have it up by this time next week, that's when the furnature and carpets are comin' in, so Slim, please wipe yer feet. ;D ;D ::) ;)
If Slim has to wipe his feet, I promise to make sure any unknown slim trails stop at the doorstep. ;D :P Does that mean the FFG has to sweep up her sawdust? ??? :o ::) ;D
"Posh, my sawdust is lightly scented so it adds to the ambience of a room. It also collects moisture, so is helping to keep the floor clean. Besides, I'm not sure I will be living here, would it be proper? Though it would be nice to have a sunny guest room reserved for me, with beds with flannel sheets."
(Glad to know you are ok, Russ T., I was a tad concerned.)
The FFg can have a room in the cupola, oh, did I mention our ranch house is gonna have a cupola. ;D ;D ;D ;) ;)
Quote from: Delmonico on January 13, 2005, 01:31:00 PM
There was at least one sold to Englishmen in the 1880's, least that's what the title said. ;D ;D ;D ;D
The #22 wagon has yaller brick from the Yankee Hill Brick Company of Yankee Hill Newbrasskey. ;D ;D Got a mason also drivin' that wagon. Go back up to Long Pine Creek Slim and get the FFg some logs fer the fire place. ;D ;D ;D
"I havta go out in this cold? My breath will freeze." :o
Ok, when they get done with a couple of the wagons, hire the teamsters to go cut some wood. ;D ;D ;D We won't have to worry about Jimmi Hoffa tellin' us teamsters can't also cut wood fer quite a few years. ::) ::) ::) ;D ;)
Trinity staggers up to the group. Taking Gophergrease's advise, he did not have the rum straight up, but settled down for some cider. After the first mug he decided that he liked it but was not sure that it was very manly, so he took the rum and the cider pot to the hill and hid behind the tree. After the cider ran out, there was only rum left. Now there was nothing.
"Shaaaay. Thatsh shome fanshy houshe! Ah wonder whosh gonna live in thish plantation." Trinity remembers his childhood back east. Peering inside, Trinity cries out: "Carpetsh!!?? Nesht shing you know, Delmoniker is gonna want ush to wipe our feet!"
Trinity begins to wonder: "There weren't no houshe there when Ah wen' up the hill. I shore hope I ain't losht agin!" With that, Trinity colapses.
"A cupola?" The Frumpy Fairy Godmother grins. "If there is a nice porch to go with it, I may let appearances go and move in!"
With a flip of her wand, a rocking chair appears and she takes up her knitting by the window of the dugout to watch the progress of the construction.
"Dern it, Trinity got into the rum and passed out. Somebody better get him before he freezes."
Duke runs out of the dugout, grabs Trinity by the collar, and slowly drags him inside.
Quote from: AnnieLee on January 13, 2005, 01:05:21 PM
"And how can you have a pre-fab fireplace?"
Side note: Heck, that was reply #999 to this thread, which made it the one thousandth post! I get a cookie!!
:D ;D :P :D
AnnieLee
My counter says my post on the diamond mine was 1000 and I already had a cookie. ;D ;D ;D
Yes we will have one of those porchs that wraps all around the house and those cute little porchs outside the 2nd and 3rd floor. ;D Oh I also ordered a weathervane with a steer on it fer the cupola, that way when Trinity comes home drunk he can pretent he's John Wayne and try ta throw his hat up on it. That will wake you up and you can turn him inta a Box Turtle. ;D ;D ;D
Oh has anyone seen my castor oil, I got a new bottle in North Platte, the Druggest didn't have a castor oil bottle so he put it in an old rum bottle. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
(You were "reply" number 1000, which made it post 1001! But I'll share my cookie. :P )
At the words "castor oil," Duke's eyes become huge and he drags Trinity back outside.
Trinity may already have drunk the castor oil thinkin' it was rum :o. well if the yeller dod drags him outside maybe he won't make a mess inside the dugout ;D
I'z don't know whut we'z talking about. ??? But I never let that stop me before. ;D
One fine day, in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight. :o
Back to back, they faced each other.
One drew his sword and shot the other. :o
A deaf policeman heard the noise,
and came a killed those two dead boys. :o
If you don't believe my lie is true,
Go ask the blind man. He saw it too. ::)
Stoney (what's done interupting...for now.) Pete
And now...BACK TO THE STORY.
Slim sends two wagons and muleskinners to get firewood for the FFG's fireplace. ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother sends Slim a smile, but sends a curious look in the direction of Stoney Pete. "Is this a long lost brother of Delmonico? He sure talks like Del."
:D
(http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/icon_lol.gif) (http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/icon_lol.gif) (http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/icon_lol.gif)
Slim
I have began to suspect that Stoney (Stoney?) is a Bozo on this bus. ;D ;D ;D BTW, GG is gonna get the chance to be a bozo on this bus next time he comes to Lincoln and has an hour to kill. ;D Might have to get a new needle fer the turntable. :o :o I could put a blank tape in and send it to Slim. :o :o :o :o
((I'm pretty certain Pete is a Bozo on the bus, but doesn't know it. He's 33, so it might have been going on when he was in diapers. I'm not so sure the Frumpy Fairy Godmother is a Bozo, even if she does have a magic wand. Of course, she isn't exactly real....))
((Oh yeah, I had to whisper that last bit, because I don't think the Frumpy Fairy Godmother knows she isn't real.
AnnieLee))
Quote from: AnnieLee on January 14, 2005, 01:00:17 PM
((Oh yeah, I had to whisper that last bit, because I don't think the Frumpy Fairy Godmother knows she isn't real.
AnnieLee))
;D ;D ;D
Suddenly there is a strange noise headin' to the ranch. Slim looks up and sees Delmonico roarin' in in a rusty 1982 Olds Cutlass. He pulls up and hides the car behind the coal pile and pulls the tarp over it. ??? ??? ??? ??? ???
He stops for a few seconds and hollors, "I made Annie mad up in the Longbranch forum, I'm hidin' out here for a while." He then heads inta the dugout, Duke follows with his tail tucked 'tween his legs. He slams the door, pulls in the latch string and boards up the window. :o :o :o ;D
As soon as Delmonico boards up the window, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother, who was sitting in her rocking chair the entire time, fires two rounds of .45 caliber gumdrops into his rear. Funny thing, they shoot right to the point of aim, not high at all.
:D
:o :o :o ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on January 14, 2005, 12:04:55 AM
Oh has anyone seen my castor oil, I got a new bottle in North Platte, the Druggest didn't have a castor oil bottle so he put it in an old rum bottle. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Del, with all that Castor oil you been given Trinity the out house is gettn a bit full. Should we start dign a nether?
"Yeh a new one could be handy, we might not want every saddle bum comin' by to use that new-fangled one that is comin' on the next wagon. ::)"
"Oh slim is about ready to leave fer Wisssyconsion fer the weekend, I got to get even with him fer laughin', let me have a couple of yer garlic clove shotshells." :'( :'(
As Slim rides off away from the sunset, he hears a boom as his arse is stung with garlic cloves. :o :o ;D ;) Puttin the shotgun away, he tries to think of what he can do to the FFg and not end up being turned into a magpie or sumthin' like that. ??? ??? ;D ;)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother blows a smooch to Delmonico, then returns to her knitting, smiling.
Hey Del, a thought to the summer. Should we put on a fish fry for J.B. Hickok and crew this year?
GG, depends on if the shoe repair lady is gonna be there. :o
With that Delmonico remembers that in another forum Slim said he could never be mad at us. ;D So ridin' inta town in sub-zero weather Delmonico goes to the telly-graf office and sends Slim a telly-gram> "Slim no hard feelin's about the garlic is there STOP Stop in Omaha on the way back STOP Got to Omaha paper products inc STOP Get a case of that "Sanitary Tissue" on rolls STOP We don't want no Sears and Robuck catalogs in the fancy privy STOP"
Delmonico
PS. Stop at plumbing supplier STOP
Fergot stopper for tub STOP
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D STOP
Having finished up her knitting, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother sneaks into the telygraph office behind Delmonico and sees what he is sending.
With a wide smile over his thoughtfulness, she poofs back out with a scattering of sawdust, thinking of doing something nice for him.
Trinity steps in looking the cleanest he has ever as long as any can remember.
"Say, Delmonico, Ah found this Rum bottle with Castor oil in it. Knowin' how you like to use the stuff, Ah set it aside fer ya afore Ah started drinkin last night. Ya jus gotta promise not ta try ta use it on me, ok?
Oh, by the way, Ah think Ah done gone an' clogged yore bathin' tub with dirt. Now don' no water go down that lil hole. Ah ain' seen such fancy terlits since Ah was knee high to a skeeter an ain' had no bath since that horrible day in the river last year."
Well I'm glad ya found that, was afraid ya drank it. ;D ;D Now ya know I only use the stuff on folks fer meeeedicinal purposes. ;D ;D
By the way, that fancy chain pull throne is kinda fancy even fer one a dem. I got one of them English Wedgewood ones of blue and white porcyloon. Also got Wedgewood china fer the dinnin' room in the same pattern. :o :o :o That way the food has class comin' and goin'. ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) :D
Oh and I got one a dem coal fired water heatin' thing fer the bath water and the dish water. ;) Course I'm gonna have to be a little bit naughty agin so Santa will bring lots of coal again. ::) ;D :o :D ;)
"OOOps! wuz Ah supposed ta pull that there chain?"
Duke the yellow dog looks at Trinity, then looks at the toilet that is sitting on the ground waiting for the house to get finished getting put together, then looks at Trinity, then at the toilet again, then finally blinks.
A lady tolt meonce that dogs drink out of the toilet cause the water is often cooler than the dish. ::) Makes me wonder how she knew. :o :o :o ;)
Duke knows, and he knows how she knew, but he isn't saying, he's just giving a dog grin.
With the house up and coal in the furnace, things are gettin' better at the ranch. ;D The rest of the furniture should be here this week, but there is enough stuff from the dugout to get by with till it gets here. ::)
The big problem is that the temp has dropped below 0 again and Slim has not arrived with the sanitary tissure. (not called toilet paper in the 1880's) Delmonico paces and hope Slim arrives soon cause the Sears and Roebuck catalog paper will clog the pipes, yet it is very cold out in the old privy. :o :o :o :o :o
For the conclusion of this episode we must wait till morin', will Delmonico be able to hold on till Slim gets here or will he have to make that cold dangerous journy in his night shirt. ::) ::) If only they would have sent the Wedgewood Chamber Pots with the Wedgewood flush toilet, instead of sendin' it with the eatin' china the problem would be solved. ::) ::) More importantly, why did Gopher Grease make dried apricot pie fer supper, thats is almost as bad as castor oil. :o :o :o :o :o :o
Slim rides up to the ranch house with a pack horse in tow. "Delmonico, I got a bunch of your "Sanitary Tissue" on rolls and the tub stopper." He dismounts, ties his horse to the rail, and starts unpack the pack horse.
Thanks, BTW I knew ya would look over the weekend posts from "Hornets Nest Hill" afore ya rode in. Surprise I didn't have to go out in the sub-zero last night with the Catalog, I brought a few rolls from North Platte. ;D ;D ;D
Just knew it would be cheaper to get in Omaha, so so've been waitin' out behind that cold hill fer nuthin' I did what needed to be done last night right after the post. And it was nice and warm inside the house. ;D ;D ;D
"I'm glad ya didn't have ta freeze your fanny."
"BTW, did the teamsters ever come back with firewood the FFG's fireplace?"
Just as the words get out of his mouth, the wagons with the firewood apear in the distance. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ::)
"Sure took 'em long enough. Is the fireplace finished so I can start a fire fer the FFG to sit in front of and knit?
The fire place is done. the reason the wood took so long was cause you were gone all weekend and we forgot about it cause a brand new Wedgewood flush toilet was more interestin' than a load of wood. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
"I'll forgive ya fer ogling over the wasserkloset." ;D
"I'll start a fire for the FFG, so when she shows up she can sit in front of it."
Does that mean in Wisssyconsion they are WK's 'stead of WC's? ;D
KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM !!!!!
Trinity staggers to the house black with soot, his clothing almost completely blown off. Why if these were the 2000s, his clothes might have been blown completely off, but since it is the 1800s there remained in the essential areas some bits of clothing to maintain modesty.
"Delmonico, ya got that there terlit finished??" Trinity looks around sheepishly. Ah don' think that no one will be able ta use the outhouse no more. Ah wen' in there after eatin' Gophergrease's Apricot Pah an' let me tell ya: Don' never smoke no seegars in the john!!
If ya all liked them aprecots, wait till ya try prune colaches i got baken. ;D ::)
If someone be going to town in the mornin I got a box of dry figs comin a the stage. I fix ya up something good with them. I just wont tell ya what its called, cus you " real men" mite not eat it if I did.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother doesn't seem to be around, but out of nowhere there is a smaller than usual scattering of sawdust and a new rocking chair appears before the fireplace. Next to the chair, a stack of new but soft flannel shirts also appears. The stack is big enough and varied enough for each of the men to have a new shirt. One top of the stack is a bright yellow bow of thanks.
Delmonico looks at GG's post and is horrified, he thought he had taught him better. But a session in June with our Czech Mountainman friend will straighten him out. "Dern it, don't mind if'n ya spell it with a c stead of a k cause Slim spells with a k instead of a c, but there are no such thin' as kolace's." :o :o :o
"That is one of the things that allows me to be a honorary Czech, one is a kolace, more than one is kolaci. Just because Czech is a difficult language, don't mean ya can go round makin' double plurals." ;D :D
"Next thing ya know ya gonna be bakin' kakeses. ;D Fact that gives me an idea."
Delmonico goes inta his office off to the left of the kitchen, next to his bedroom. (GG's office and bedroom is to the right of the kitchen. ;D" He then takes fountain pen, writes a letter, seals it in an enverlope, and seals it with sealing wax and presses in his seal. ;D He then steps outside and hands it to a wiry guy with a red shirt and a 51 Colt navy revolver, gallopin' by on a pony. ;D ;D
The spelln book was easyer to eat than read.
Quote from: Delmonico on January 17, 2005, 05:22:18 PM
Does that mean in Wisssyconsion they are WK's 'stead of WC's? ;D
I'm wondering the same here. :D
Quote from: Delmonico on January 17, 2005, 05:22:18 PM
Does that mean in Wisssyconsion they are WK's 'stead of WC's? ;D
Only if ya know Deutsch. ;D
Did ya check the Oel in yer truck this mornin'. ::)
Quote from: Delmonico on January 18, 2005, 10:45:15 AM
Did ya check the Oel in yer truck this mornin'. ::)
No. Why? ???
Cause that's how ya spell it in Deutsch. ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)
<Whisper on: "Annie Get Yer Skillet!" Slim's asleep at his desk.>
Where's the coffee? I'm awake! ;D
Mean while back at the ranch, a lone rider in a red shirt approches at a gallop. He stops long enough to hand Delmonico a package and off again he goes. (Overnite Pony Express again ;D)
Delmonico sneaks inta his office and closes the door and locks it. ??? ??? ???
Duke meanders over to the door and lays down in front of it. Once in a while, he sniffs at the crack at the bottom of the door.
The door unlocks, opens and Duke goes in, the door closes and relocks. ??? ??? ::) :( :o >:( ;D :D ;)
Slim goes over to the stack of "new but soft" flannel shirts and starts lookin' at 'em.
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on January 18, 2005, 10:37:06 AM
Quote from: Delmonico on January 17, 2005, 05:22:18 PM
Does that mean in Wisssyconsion they are WK's 'stead of WC's? ;D
Only if ya know Deutsch. ;D
Ich kann Deutsch. Kann ich irgendwie behilflich sein??
Quote from: Trinity on January 18, 2005, 08:13:47 PM
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on January 18, 2005, 10:37:06 AM
Quote from: Delmonico on January 17, 2005, 05:22:18 PM
Does that mean in Wisssyconsion they are WK's 'stead of WC's? ;D
Only if ya know Deutsch. ;D
Ich kann Deutsch. Kann ich irgendwie behilflich sein??
There is a tiny scattering of sawdust and a disembodied voice answers in a dry tone: "I hope you can help them. These boys need a LOT of help."
Gopher Grease returns from his trip to town. had to go get that box of figs. As he starts ta fix a crust of short bread. He pull a set of LeMatts from his belt. Yells out for all to hear "IF ANY OF YOU ARE THINKN OF BRINGING IN SNAKES, I GOT ONE LOADED FOR THEM AND THE OTHER THE ONE THAT BRUNG UM!"
With that said, he finishes maken a nice fig quiche and calls for the FFg to come help eat it.
With a scattering of glittering sawdust, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother poofs in.
"Howdy, Gopher Grease, I hear you gave AnnieLee a new skillet to add to her arsenal. Thank you."
She gives him a warm hug, then joins him in eating the fig quiche.
Catching the scent of figs in the air, Trinity drops the handsful of snakes he had collected and ran!
...away that is, as Trinity is no lover of figs!!
FFg you and Anne Lee are very wecome. I realy like the white figs for cooking, bit hard to find at times.
Delmonico comes out of his office with Sanitary Tissue stuffed up his left nostril. He carries a board under his arm. "Dern I was hopin' you'd make fig newtons with them things." He heads on out the front door, after grabbin' a hammer and some nails out of the closet in the foyer. ???
Right after that there is a poundin' and when it stops Delmonico comes in, puts the hammer away and heads to the kitchen. ??? ??? Gopher Grease has fig seeds in his mooostach. ;D ;D ;D ;D
Slim calls from the fireplace, "Del, what's on da sign ya nailed ta the outside wall?"
Vita Vaas
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother raises a brow, and the book of "Google" appears in her hands.
"Hmm... vita means life..." She flips through some pages, "and vaas means to stay or reside. Does that mean that life is lived here?"
With a smile, she snaps the book shut and it disappears. "I kinda like that."
Delmonico gets up, makes some coffee and looks at the posts since last night. ;D Humpf that Google book has failed again. ::) ::) ::) "Dern Mr. Google thinks everyone speaks the dead language of Latin." "Wonder how you say wrong in Latin." ;D ;D ;D ;)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gets up to get her own cup of coffee.
"Ok, smarty pants, what does Vita Vaas mean?"
Welcome Friend in Czech. The spellin' will vary, but since Gopher Grease was makin' the kolace, I thought it would be good for the door. ;D ;D By the way that is on a sign as you come inta Wilber, the Czech Capital of Newbrasskey. ;D ;D ;D
Triva question: Do you know what they keep in the jail in Wilbur Newbrasskey. ;D
Czechs! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Bad Czechs. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
No Slim. The Czechs are cached in the bank. ::) :o ;D
Do bad Czechs bounce? ;D ;D ;D ;D
Don't know, only time I ever seen anyone try to bounce one, it was messy. ;D ;D
Ya know what ya call someone married to a Czech? ???
Czechmate?
;)
AnnieLee
This is gettin' too punny. ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on January 20, 2005, 12:16:44 PM
This is gettin' too punny. ;D ;D ;D
But Slim, if they go out to Del's favourite Oriental buffet, would they be rice Czechs?
:D
AnnieLee
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Slim goes running from the house in his new flannel shirt, of course. "I'm alright, now."
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
However, if they had pasta, or if Del made some sourdough bread for them, would they be wheat Czechs?
hee hee hee...
:D
AnnieLee
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Slim runs around the house in his new flannel shirt, of course. "I'm alright, now."
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
<Note these posts of Czech jokes are not intended to offend anyone of my adopted cuture, in fact they all includin' Annie's have been tolt me in the past by Czech friends.>
Delmonico Hororary Czech with several clusters
Maker of Duck and Dumplin's
Cooker of kraut
Builder of Rye bread
Eater of jandernice
(Sides that I listened to the "No Name Polka Show" this morin' on KZUM 89.3 ;D)
Ok google up a map, Saline County Newbrasskey also has it's Twin Cities Crete and Wilbur. ;D ;D ;D
Then again, if they put butter on their ears, would that make them corn Czechs?
(had to get that third one in)
AnnieLee
I thought the Twin Cities were in Minniesnowda. ???
That's the Minnysoda Twin cites, this is the Newbrasskey Twin Cities. ;D ;D ;D Put us up a map showin' both Slim. ;D
How 'bout the Quad Cities?
(http://mq-mapgend.websys.aol.com:80/mqmapgend?MQMapGenRequest=FDR2dmwjDE%3byt29%26FDJnci4Jkqj%2cMMCJ%3aHOEvq%3bw701zt%3a%29fzwgu7%3a%26%40%24%3a%26%408%3aqyb%3al4b%3aTD%15JFE%3aHOHQJ%3bw701zt%3a%29fzwgu7%3a%26%40%24%3a%26%40%24x9%40)
Crete/Wilbur, NE
(http://mq-mapgend.websys.aol.com:80/mqmapgend?MQMapGenRequest=FDR2dmwjDE%3byt29%26FDJnci4Jkqj%2cMMCJ%3aHOEvq%3bwrwqwr%3a%29fb2ha2%3a%26%40%24%3a%26%408%3aqyb%3al4b%3aTD%15JFE%3aHOHQJ%3bwrwqwr%3a%29fb2ha2%3a%26%40%24%3a%26%40%24x9%40)
Minneapolis/St. Paul, MN
Cool, now to aviod bloodshed like down in some parts of Kansas over county seats, the town of Wilbur got the corthouse and the town of Crete got the county Fair. Still is that way to this day.
Now on a little south of Wilbur is DeWitt, the town that everyone almost has used a local product from. Do you know what that is. ;D ;D (Bet Slim has one in his truck.)
A Ruger? ;D
Slim has a picture of Joyce DeWitt in his truck??
:o :o :o
Oh, wait 'til his wife finds out...
(http://www.hard-to-find-actresses.com/content/pics/joy003.jpg)
Not!
Hee hee hee, okie, how about a pair of Vice Grips?
(http://www.livinghistoryfarm.org/farminginthe40s/media/mach_1201.jpg)
AnnieLee, who had those long before she had a truck
Good job, Cuz. ;D
Thank you, Slim! And Del thinks you're the only member of the family who can post pics. HA!
;)
AnnieLee
Good Job. ;D
Meanwhile back at the ranch the wagons with the furniture are comin' round Hornet's Nest Hill. ;D
With a bark, Duke takes off to escort the wagons to the house.
Well there is stuff for everyone, just grab it and take it in. ;D ;)
"No Bohunks to help tote? What, do you expect me to do, wave some kind of magic wand and waft the heavy stuff into the house?"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother tsks.
Trinity looks up from his beans and stares at Janet, er uh Joyce.
"Hey! That girl aint got her shirt buttoned up. Hmmmm. She must be a new employ-ee from that that there wagon what saved me from my ordeal. Ah think Ah'll go over an' in-tro-duce mahself afore Ah help move the stuff inside.
...Mebbe Ah can start the movin' with the baid."
"Whoops! I do have a magic wand!"
With a sheepish grin, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother waves her wand and the furniture starts to float on air to the house.
Gopher Grease scraches his head, trying to figer what happened to all the feather beds that was coming. As he looks all over and none in site. ??? ??? The cuppola! Looking up there he finds them all in a stack. :o :o He thinks, that the FFg aint to move furishings any more.
After putting one in each bed room, he starts the oven warming. After looking in the old Sicilan cook book, he whips out a big batch of "Biscotti del fig". Now Del can have some with his expresso.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother humphs. "I wasn't going to assume; different people like different ticking. With them stacked, they could choose what they wanted."
She swipes a biscotti and heads off to her rocking chair.
Gopher grease cant help smileing cus them fig bar are much beter after being frosted.
And, they are just now cooled. :) :) :D
Del, you did order the Expresso make with the new house.
side note, is expresso truly Italian?
When was the first "expresso maker invented?
Quote from: gophergrease on January 20, 2005, 11:27:12 PM
Del, you did order the Expresso make with the new house.
side note, is expresso truly Italian?
When was the first "expresso maker invented?
Del probably can confirm this, but I belive the first espresso machine was made in France around 1822.
I am pretty sure that is right, it is an improvement on the French Press coffee maker. The machines to make it were quite large and elaborate. It did not become popular in this country till retunin' GI's brought it back from WWII. My Dictionarrrry says the word became part of the American version of the English laungage durin' WWII.
Now I've reviled one of the best sources for documentation, the Dictionarrry, I always figgered if folks where talkin' 'bout it, it must have existed. ;D ;D ;D
I picked up my "new" N. R. Davis mule-ear last night. I took it apart and cleaned the years of crud out of it. Got down at 11:30 PM. Then, I had to tend the fire cause it didn't want to keep going. So, I didn't get to bed until after midnight. I work with a headache so decided to sleep it off and telegraphed in sick to verk. After I got up, I went out and cut two loads of firewood before the snowstorm started. Suppose ta get about 6" tonight.
I cant find a pic of it, but one very near to the ones you can get at the 'yu###' camping store came avalable in europe about 1860. 1822 was the first one and in France.
Trinity sees the FFG sitting alone with a frown and sits next to her. "Don' you pay no attention ta Gophergrease, Ma'am. He ain' no southerner. He don' know how ta treat a lady. Ah must say, the baid he chose fer me is kinda itchy.
Just then, Trinity sniff the air: "What the... is that a fig biscotti?????" Trinity grabs the FFG's biscotti and throws it as far away from him as he can. "Ah just can't stand figs, no matter how trendy ya make it! Here, try this" Trinity offers a half empty bottle of a strong smelling clear liquid to the FFG.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gives a start as her biscotti is taken, but she listens to Trinity. She's not a drinker, but out of politeness, she takes a miniscule sip from the bottle with a small smile. "I hope it isn't castor oil."
"Ain't no worries about that ma'am. Ah make it mahself. ;) Ah done and built five stills to throw Delmonico off, just in case he might wanna con-taminate mah Korn squeezins. The real still is very well hidden." 8)
Here's a tin-type of still number one. Ah get an old timer from town ta tend it fer me. Ah drink only after ah see that he aint got sick.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother isn't an idiot, she knows that wiping off the mouth of the bottle before taking a drink could be considered an insult, so she tips the bottle back for a larger (though still small) sip.
She blinks a little, but manages to keep from gasping and hands back the bottle.
"They're fine... squeezings, Trinity, thank you for sharing them. Did you ever pick out a new flannel shirt?"
"There now, ain't that good? ...And healthy too!!" Trinity lifts the bottle and pours deep into his gullet.
"What about mah shirt. don' you like it? I done had this shirt fer a looong time."
A voice from the kitchen says, "toooooo long." :P :P
A voice from the outside door says, "That that's fer sure. Pick out a new one and burn that one. By the by, thar's eight inches of fresh snow on the ground." Slim closes the door and hangs his coat on the coat-chair. He sits on the chair, takes his snow boots off, and slips into his moccasins. "The herd is doing well this morning."
Seeing Slim, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother smiles widely. ( Not that he is her favorite or anything :D) Then she looks over Trinity, and picks out a new flannel shirt to hand to him. "Go change."
Slim smiles at Trinity, "Please!" ;D
"Alright, alright! Ah jus' don' know what y'all got 'ginst mah shirt, but Ah'll put the flannel on" Trinity rises from the cot, takes the shirt from the FFG and sulks to his room.
With a loud thud, Trinity drops his old shirt and dons the new one and returns to the others. He walks into the room with his arms stiff out to the side complaining: "This shirt just don' feel right. What's wrong with it? ? ? ?"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother blinks, then stares, then quickly turns her face away, shielding her eyes.
"The man has no pants on," she whispers.
:-[ :-[ "OOOOPS!!" Trinity shouts and runs back into his room. He emerges later with his pants on and securely fastened. "Sorry ma'am!" :-[ :-[
Trinity has become aware that Delmonico is feeling under the weather. Get better soon, 'cause until then we'll have to eat more of Gophergrease's figs! ;D
"Figs are good, but you can't make a diet out of them unless you want to spend all your time on the toilet. Does your shirt feel better now, Trinity?"
"Yes Ma'am, the shirt is feelin' better. After sleepin' in it, it ain' so stiff no more. Ah 'spect that it ain' gonna take but a few days more till it's feelin' as good as mah last one. Ah hope it ain' gonna slow mah workin' tomorry.
"If you'd like, I can take another of the new ones and wash it a few times, so it'd be soft when you first put it on."
With Del out of the kitchen due to his fall, Gopher Grease set to maken a rabbit stew. He asks every one how they like there corn bread. He likes his kinda sweat and a little wetter than some do.
With the stewed rabbit he thinks some pear cobbler mite just be good.
To the FFg he says "didnt meen nothing rude, just couldnt find them beds. Sorry for any ill fellings." :-* ;D
Delmonico comes out of his office and inta the kitchen. GG if ya got any more a dem figs, make up somethin' with them, fact use some more a tha dried apricots, or raisins, currents or dem dried plums. These pain pills I've been takin' is startin' ta cause one a da side effects that paper they send out talks about. ;D :o :o ::) ::) :P ;)
Dried plums? you meen prunes. ::) ::) ;D dont need to be "P.I."
There a 20lb box of them figs out in the dug out. Mite send Trinity to get some for ya.
"I like my cornbread a little sweet, too, and I'm not offended."
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother steps briefly into the kitchen to kiss GopherGrease on the cheek.
"Might be best to cook up something for Delmonico, he's already full of it, we don't want him to get worse."
;)
just found something that will fix Del up.
Fig Raisin Cake
Ingredients
1 cups chopped figs
1 cups raisins
1 cup boiling water
1/2 cup shortening
1 cup brown sugar
2 tsp baking powder
2 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp salt
2 eggs, well beaten
2 cups flour
Instructions
Pour boiling water over raisins and figs and allow to stand while preparing other ingredients. Cream shortening and sugar. Add eggs. Sift flour, measure, and sift with baking powder, cinnamon, and salt. Add alternately with fruit mixture to creamed sugar and shortening. Beat thoroughly. Pour into well-oiled loaf pan. Bake at 375 degrees F. about 40 minutes.
Yield: 6 servings
Shortening can also be read as butter
( That sounds a lot like the fruitcake I made from Forty Rod's and Singing Bear's recipe today, but instead of figs, it has dried pineapple and dried mango in it. )
Yes its basic fruitcake type recipe. How did yours come out? good I hope.
"FIIIIIGGGGSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Just to let every one know I will be fixn something for Trinity tomorrow nite. Everyone has to have a bath and wear fancy clothes.
Quote from: gophergrease on January 23, 2005, 07:08:06 PM
With Del out of the kitchen due to his fall, Gopher Grease set to maken a rabbit stew. He asks every one how they like there corn bread. He likes his kinda sweat and a little wetter than some do.
With the stewed rabbit he thinks some pear cobbler mite just be good.
"Gophergrease, Ah love mah cone braid sweet an' wet. In fact, Ah love most of mah baked goods a little on the underdone sahd. ...An RABBIT!!!" Trinity begins a dance for joy. "Ah love rabbit!. Ya know, we could mix in some other forrest critters and make a good Eintopf.
Conciderin' how ole Delmonico is feelin' lately I will be proud ta fetch some figs fer him. Don' 'spect me ta eat any, though. An mah winder will be open all night so's I can have fresh air, no matter how cold it is out yonder."
Not to cold out to nite. About 20 with 20mph wind.
Quote from: gophergrease on January 23, 2005, 09:14:17 PM
Just to let every one know I will be fixn something for Trinity tomorrow nite. Everyone has to have a bath and wear fancy clothes.
"Lucky fer me ah done had mah bath a few days ago. Oh boy, Ahm excited. With Delmonico out of comission fer this short time, Ah know aint no cruel jokes gonna be played on me. Ya want me ta bring ma jugs Ah got two jugs, mah drinkin' jug and mah music jug (that was last nights dinkin' jug afore it was emptied)??"
Quote from: AnnieLee on January 23, 2005, 07:03:56 PM
"If you'd like, I can take another of the new ones and wash it a few times, so it'd be soft when you first put it on."
"Thank you, Miss FFG, but ya know what would soften it up real good? A good berl (that's boil to you and me) in used bath water. Mah mama done that fer me that time Ah got new pants"
No need for your drinkin jug. I got some good red wine, come all the way from Italy.
Maybe a bit of brandy after desert.
Asfar as the bath, will let the FFg say if ya fit to come to the table.
I just hope Slim dont go getn snow in, so he can make it back to the ranch in time for the fixens
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gives Trinity a wide smile, but her eyes contain a look of steel that makes her undeniable.
"I'll boil the shirt... and your underwear, and your pants, but you, Dear Trinity, have to boil and scrub yourself... with soap before you come to that dinner."
"That's ok Gophergrease, Ah'll have his portion. Ah ain never had no wine from Ittly. Mah Pappy used to make scuppernong wine an' sometimes elderberry wine. MMMMM, MM! Does this stuff from Ittly taste like that?
...Oh, if'n it ain' no problem, can ya make some beans??"
The FFG scolds Trinity before he can make his last post...
Trinity thinks before responding, for he does not wish to offend the FFG... "Uh, miss FFG, Ah ain't accustomed to bathin' so much. Ah fear that mah skin will come off ifn Ah scrub too much. An, what is soap, bah tha way? Lastly, thankee very much fer berlin' the shirt, but ain't no need ta berl mah unmentionables or nothin' else, 'cause ah got them just where ah wan't them an' don' spec ta have ta change fer another four or five years." ... :-[ "...that is unless ah eat too many more of Gophergrease's figs. Ah almost had ta throw mah unmentionables away that last time. Luckily, Ah just turnt them inside out, the other side was still clean."
Slim rides up to the ranch house with his saddle bags full and chinese chickens tied to the saddle horn. He dismounts, grabs the foul and saddle bags, and goes into the house. He wipes his feet on the doormat and goes into the kitchen. "Gophergrease, I got some Wiscooooooooooosin cheese, butter, and brown eggs fer ya. I also shot some chinese chickens on the way here."
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother draws Slim off to the side and whispers to him.
"We've got to find a way to get Trinity to wash himself and his underwear. Got any ideas?"
I got an ideia. Wash his underwear before he gets out of it. ;D
*whisper on* "Tell 'im he can't hav no rabbit unless he washes 'imself and clothes with soap." *whisper off* ;D
Delmonico comes out of his office and is confused as to where Slim got pheasants out here in the 1880's, but he knows he better not question it or he'll be in trouble. ;D ;D ;D
I got an idea here, lets fire up that big hog scalder and get the water boilin'. If Trinity won't go in there and take a bath in the fine tin bath tub in the indoor privy, we can throw a bar a lye soap in the boilin' hog scalder and have the FFg use her wand and dump him in. We can also scrape all his hair off after that. ::) :o :D That is that hair the lye soap don't take off. :o
Sound good ta me, Del. ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother nods. "Not boiling, though, we want him clean, not dead. I'm game for that, and he's gamey for that."
Ok, almost boilin'. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Trinity walks into the kitchen after what would have been a long hard day at work except for the fact that he overslept! Instead then, it was just a hard day at work... He notices right away the mischievous look on Delmonico's face.
"Now, just what is goin' on in here?" No one will look Trinity in the eyes. "Ah done seen Delmonico make a face like that onct before when he put ipecac in mah whiskey bottles!!!!"
Gopher Grease tells trinity that he cant have none of the supper he be fixn till, trinity has taken a bath. This means getn clean top ta bottum, inside out. New clean cloths will also be needed.
Now Trinity you get to scubing, and I start cooking.
Inside and out, that means he's gonna need one of them rubber bags with the hose from the Sears and Roebucks Catalog. Dr. John G. Kellog of Battle Creek Michygun recomend yogurt for such things in the 1880's.
YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!! ;D ;D :o Icypec would be better. :P
Dont think hell havta go that far, but he do need a good cleaning.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gives Delmonico one of those looks, then hands Trinity a bar of soap and a scrub brush.
"This is soap. You rub it all over your body, even your head until you get foam. Then you scrub your hair and skin with the brush. I'll boil your clothing if someone will bring them to me, or you can get new clothes."
I'm sorry about the yogurt post, but you see my studies have lead me down some strange pathes, cause this is the same Dr. Kellog who invented the cornflake. At least he intended for the corn flake to go in the other end. (Delmonico sees a chance to be really crude here but he will pass.) ;D ;D
"FFg a fore he heads to the tub, will you check him fer lice and nits. If he has them get the can of coal oil out of the shed and use it to kill them. "
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother blinks and takes a step back.
"Me?!? You want me to do it? But to... to do that, you have to check ALL his hair. I'll check his head and his armpits, but I am NOT going near uhh... that other...er... area."
Quote from: AnnieLee on January 24, 2005, 08:01:57 PM
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gives Delmonico one of those looks, then hands Trinity a bar of soap and a scrub brush.
"This is soap. You rub it all over your body, even your head until you get foam. Then you scrub your hair and skin with the brush. I'll boil your clothing if someone will bring them to me, or you can get new clothes."
After overhearing the crew talking about his hygiene, Trinity decides to do something about it and heads out into the cold to go to town. In town he finds a proper establishment and let's them have their way with him (No! Not that kind of establishment... Dirty thoughts!). The trip to town is not a waste, he reasons to himself. He can always make a short trip over to the saloon!
Quote from: AnnieLee on January 24, 2005, 09:50:07 PM
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother blinks and takes a step back.
"Me?!? You want me to do it? But to... to do that, you have to check ALL his hair. I'll check his head and his armpits, but I am NOT going near uhh... that other...er... area."
Author's note: Don't forget the back.
;D ;D ;D ;D
As Trinity returns to the ranch he find super ready for him.
Tontines Menu
Figs marinated in Whiskey with Warm Honey
Grilled Figs With Thyme Honey and Gorgonzole Toasts
Pheasant stuffed with Brandied Figs
Pork with Figs and Balsamic Vinegar
Basmati Rice with Figs, Mustard Seeds and Ginger
Candied Figs, Apricots or Tomatoes Recipe
Fig Cobbler
with the figs all used up, Gopher Grease burns the box in the fireplace so they will be nothing but memorys. ;D ;D ;D
[
Quote
With Delmonico out of comission fer this short time, Ah know aint no cruel jokes gonna be played on me.
Quote
aint so. Others just have to kick in and take over for him.
Thanks Pal, I knew you could cover for me. ;D ;D
Trinity, so excited about the gourmet meal which awaited him back at the ranch (and eager to show off his new duds), he only stays at the saloon for "a few" beverages. Upon arrival at the ranch Trinity storms into the kitchen and only slightly inebriated promptly trips over a broken up crate.
"Whassh this here crate doin' buste up. What did ya do with tha figs, Gopher? Didja throw them away??" Trinity spies Gopher's marinade, snatches it up and pulls the cork. After a quick sniff (to check for purity) he pours the remaining contents into his mouth. "Whasssh dat ssshmell?? Ah ssshmell figs!! Whassshat on the fahr? Rahssh??? We ain' got no Shineshe here, waffur we got rahssh on the fahr?"
The smell of figs overwhelming Trinity, he holds his hand to his mouth then runs out the door.
Quote from: Trinity on January 24, 2005, 09:55:24 PM
Quote from: AnnieLee on January 24, 2005, 09:50:07 PM
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother blinks and takes a step back.
"Me?!? You want me to do it? But to... to do that, you have to check ALL his hair. I'll check his head and his armpits, but I am NOT going near uhh... that other...er... area."
Author's note: Don't forget the back.
;D ;D ;D ;D
Author's note:
That one made me laugh outloud. Ewwwie!
:o :D
Gopher Grease steps outside with Trinity. GG gives him a plate of Fried steak n Beans. You need some freash cornbread to go with you grub?
Trinity ya do smell a mit bit better. care for a taste of wine, anit got no figs in it.
"Well at least he didn't throw up all over my nice Wedgewood flushable water closet." Delmonico heads to his office and closes the door, Duke sniffs at the door and he is let in. ::)
Quote from: gophergrease on January 24, 2005, 10:51:19 PM
Gopher Grease steps outside with Trinity. GG gives him a plate of Fried steak n Beans. You need some freash cornbread to go with you grub?
"Wah, sshank you Gopher! Ah love Frahd sshteak. And BEANSH! Ah love Beansh. Ah would love sssshom cone braid!" In the same amount of time it took Trinity to thank Gophergrease for the "curbside service" he devoured the meal.
"Issh it sshafe ta go back inta the houssssh? -Hic- Ah shink the box you was burning mushta had the shmell of figssshh in it, cuz Ah don' got no idea why elsh the shmell would be sho shtrong...-hic-..." Trinity's two functioning brain cells struck a spark: "Ya ain' cookin no Figsssh, issh ya??"
Quickly, Gopher Grease changes the subject and offers Trinity some wine:
"Issh shish shat Eye-talian sshshtuff (spatter) you was talkin' 'bout? It don' have no scuppernongs in it? ... No figs, huh, honest?" Trinity takes a small sip the wine, then a larger sip, then a belt. Suddenly Trinity turned green. Was it the fact that the wine was made of figs or that he just had drunk too much that evening? We won't know because he passed out right there... while vomiting.
I have all said theres nothing better than nice glass of fig wine to help a body sleep. ;D ;D :D :D ;D ;D
Delmonico and Duke come out of the office and head outside. Delmonico points to a spot behind the house and up a ways on Hornets Nest Hill. Duke digs a hole about 6X3 feet and 3 feet deep. Delmonico and Duke go back to the house and Duke grabs Trinity by the collar and drangs him to the hole and drops him in. Takin' two stick, Delmonico ties them in a cross and pounds it into the ground at Trinity's head.
He has brought a blanket also and covers Trinity with it and places a shovel in the mound of left over dirt. Him and Duke then go back to the house. Delmonico puts some sawdust on the vomit and sweeps it up and carries it out to the trash. He then goes back to his office with Duke. ;)
Slim knocks on Del's door. "Del, what did Duke and ya do with Trinity?"
"Is a hole three feet deep below freezing level in this area?"
Quote from: AnnieLee on January 25, 2005, 10:10:37 AM
"Is a hole three feet deep below freezing level in this area?"
It all depends if there is snow cover.
Don't matter, when he logs in and sees that he's in the hole, he'll come out of there in a hurry. ;D ;D
"At least he stopped puking. Though I reckon it'd be hard to choke to death on frozen vomit."
Del, we keep getting these guys comeing though going nouthto the Black Hills. You think there any money to be made up that way. I been thinking that some good cooks with a steady supply of beef, mite do ok. Trinity has 5 stills runing, $10.00 a gal.
The only ones that got rich back in 50's was the merchants.
Trinity becomes aware of intense cold, but he is not yet awake. When he finally does awaken, he is shivering so much that he can hardly focus on his surroundings. Slowly details begin to filter into his consciousness. The hole... the mound of dirt... the shovel... THE CROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o
"Oh mah Gawd! Ah'm Deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
..."Ah done always knowed that figs would do me in!!! :'( :'( :'( :'( :'("
Trinity lays in the shallow grave waiting for an angel to come take him to the judgement hall wishing that death didn't have to be so danged cold.
Oh, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother can't resist this one. With a small *pop* and a scattering of glittering sawdust, she disappears, then reappears, wearing a sparkling blue gown and floating over Trinity.
"Come home, child," she says with a smile, then waves her magic wand. With another *pop*, Trinity vanishes from the hole and reappears on his bed, wearing very clean, very white, very large, man's night shirt.
A few moments later, she wanders back into the dining room in her regular clothing and grinning.
Within a split second after the appearance of the apparition Trinity finds himself lying in his bed all in white. "Ah know what Ah must do oh great one" he whispers. He hears boisterous laughter in the room outside his door. Slowly, he opens the door and, holding his arms out in front of him, he walks into the room:
"Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!"
Gopher Grease looks at Trinity. "well he isnt dead, But shur looks like it." pulling a chair out GG tel Trinity to sit down. Ill get you a can of beans and leave the top on, that way youll know it safe. Here you need a cup of coffe and its safe to. Del would never let anyone put anything in the coffe pot, but coffe.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother stifles her laughter to whisper quietly into GopherGrease's ear:
"He thinks he's a ghost."
"Y'all aint skeeert? ...Ah ain' dead??"
Trinity doesn't know how to feel. Happy because he is alive or sad that he was not scary. :-\ :-\
Aint much get me skeert any more, I done seen Del in his red nite shirt. That scary in the first light of the day. :o :o :o :o
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother whispers quickly into GopherGrease's ear: "You let him off too easily."
Then she turns and looks at Trinity as if seeing him the first time:
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! A GHOST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
( Meanwhile, in the backwoods of Virginny, AnnieLee gets the mental image of Del in his red night shirt: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! )
Trinity this will help ya warm up and fell less dead.
"Thankee Miss FFG fer tryin' ta cheer me up, but Ah know now that Ah am indeed a-live, and fer that Ah am e-ternally grateful! Ah mussta dreamt about that grave, though. Figs is got some powerful brain toxin in them (as if Trinity has any idea what he is saying) an Ah don' ever wanna see them agin!"
"...another thing Ah don' wanna see again is tht image of Delmonico in his nahtshirt" Trinity shivers.
Just then, Gophergrease hands Trinity a hot cup of ... something. Trinity, being a proper southerner is very gratious: "Thankee too, Gophergrease. " Trinity pretends to drink but as soon as Gophergrease turnes his head pours it into one of the many indoor plants that Delmonico had filled the house with. "Mmmm! Delicious!"
Dont worry about any more figs, Trinity. If I give you anything more with them in it, I will give you both my LaMats. I done used up all I had on you last nite. ;)
Delmonico and Duke come out of Delmonico's office, Delmonico is wearin' his red plaid flannel nightshirt. He walks over to the coffee pot with his "Big" 'namelware cup in his hand. He then pours the remainder of the pot in the cub, looks and says, "Damn only a HALF cup left for me." Him and Duke go back inta the office. ;D ;D
Whats the punishment for not making a pot after you empty it?
DEL
Ya find fig seeds in the bottom of yer cup? ;D ;D ;D ;)
Slim wakes, dresses, and goes in the kitchen to find some grub.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother arrives in the kitchen shortly after Slim, intent on making coffee, then her face turns beet red when she realizes her hair is down and falling loosely down her back. With a small cough of embarassment, she starts to back out of the kitchen.
Quote from: gophergrease on January 25, 2005, 11:07:04 PM
Whats the punishment for not making a pot after you empty it?
DEL
Authors note: Used to see it everyday at work until I brought my OWN coffee maker for my office. THERE!! Besides... now I can have it as STRONG as I like it!
Trinity steps into the Kitchen and grabs the coffee pot: "DANG!... Just who... I can't.... Of all...." Trinity shakes his head and pulls down the coffee grinder.
If'n ya would have looked I started a fresh pot and it's on back of the stove where it has been since before I emptyed the other on. Bet it's strong enough fer ya now Trinity. ;D ;D ;D ;D
"Oops, Din't see that one, Delmonico" Trinity smells the pot before pouring (to make sure there is ONLY coffee in there). Trinity takes one sip and every hair on his body stands at end. "Goooooooooooooooooood" Trinity growls.
We're havein' leftovers fer supper, ya got to click on this link to get it.http://www.cascity.com/forumhall/index.php?topic=2197.80
I still feel lazy. ;D ;D
Trinity steps up to the Dutch Oven with knife and fork in hand. "That shore looks good, Delmonico! Where's the plate?"
In the china cabby-gnat in the dinnin' room, remember I got blue and white Wedgewood to match the fancy flushing water closet. ;D ;D ;D
I don't know if I want my plate ta match the wasserkloset. ::)
"As long as you gents don't start confusing the two, I'll be ok with it."
:D
If we are gonna be high class ranchers like them rich folks back east, we got ta have the latest in deck-roo-tive items. Why Slim if we let you have yer way we'd have a bunch a old machine-ree wheels piled up in the front yard. ;D ;D ;D
What's wrong wit dat? ??? ;) :D ;D
"Nothing. If I had my way, I'd have a pair along the road back home. But I'd rather have a pair of cannon, or even better, a pair of Gatling guns!"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gives a look of startlement, having gotten the feeling that she is channeling some wayward nun from back East.
One man's junk is another man's decoration. ;D ;D Thwack! Ok one person's junk is another person's decoration. ;D ;D Dem wheels along the driveway is to mark the culvert so ya don't end up in the ditch. ;D ;D
BTW, I think I finnally found out the real reason folks out this way park their old boots on fench posts when they are done wearin' them. ;D ;D Have heard many reasons, but this one finnally makes sense. ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ;) Or at least to me.
"What's a 'fench post'?"
A mis-spellin' of fence post. ;D ;D ;D
"Ohhhhhhhhh. Well, I'd put mine on a post to keep critters from crawling in them. I once knew a fella who left his boots out and the next morning was stung by a scorpion while putting one on. His big toe became bigger than a goose egg. (Saying goose egg instead of golf ball, because saying bigger than a golf ball wouldn't be peereeodd keerect). Why would you do it, Delmonico?"
Noooooooo, worn out boots, some places out here have 1/4 mile or so of fence posts with wornout boots one them. Fact is thats what I often do with my worn out ones, find a fence and add them. ;D Old boots don't get thrown away, they get put on fence posts along the road. ::)
"Golf is a game where you try to drive a gutta-percha ball around a pasture with a tool totally un-suited to the task"
Mark Twain: sometime in the 1880's Sides that a golf ball is much smaller than a goooooose-egg. I just shake mine out well before I put them on. ;D ;)
"So why do they do it? I've been tempted to put my old shoes on the fence of my mini-orchard. The scent would be enough to keep the deer out a while."
Toooooo easy if I just tell ya right now. ;D ;D ;D The story that they keep the fence post from rottin' ain't right, it rots in the ground not on top. ;D ;D They had a folklorist on the local radio the other day. He's been researchin' it fer years, what I was often told and what I thought is most likey the true reason. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Get yer Cuzion ta ask Mr. Google, if Mr. Google don't know does that mean I'm smarter than Mr. Google. ;D ;D
I was always told that it meant that someone lived on the place.
Noooope. ;D
Mean while back at the ranch, Delmonico is feelin' better and is putterin' around in the kitchen, makein' supper wonderin' if anyone is gonna show up.
Tonight he has planned on a fancy meal, one of the best of the time, served at fancy eatin' houses the country over. ::) :D ;)
I know whats for supper.
"The wench ... ooops, I mean nun," the Frumpy Fairy Godmother ducks as if avoiding an oncoming skillet, "was busy this afternoon using Mr. Google to try and find proof that the Kennedy clan makes money off every bottle of Scotch that is imported to the country. What's for dinner, and why did they hang their boots?"
I will not tell.
Old McDonald had a farm........... ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
"Ole Trinity don' take his boots off fer nothin.
Nope, not nothin!"
Sit in the fancy eatin' room, I set the Wedgewood China. Here I have some nice cheese to start the meal and some nice lettuce for salad. Got some homemade mayo-naase for dressing, nuthin' to fancy fer my friends, GG's been whippin' it up fer the last hour. Got some onions fer the salad and some pickles to eat on the side. Oh here is some nice benne seed buns I baked.
Here, the finest steak, a Hamburg steak, just like at the real Delmonicos in New York, they charge more for this 8 oz steak than they do for a 20 oz Porterhouse, I ground it out of some top sirloin fresh this afternoo. Here is some mustard and some of that new Heinz Tomato Ketchup they intoduced in Philly at the Cennteny-al Expo.
Serve yerself's I got some Saratoga Chips about ready to come out of the fryer. ;D ;D
Delmonico returns with those nice potatoes, sliced 1/16th inch thick and deep fat fried to perfection. ::)
What he sees horrifies him, Trinity has taked a benne seed bun, cut it in half and put his Hamburg steak on it. He has also added lettuce, onion, pickle, mustard, ketchup, mayo and a slice of cheese.
"Durn you Trinity, must you always have it your way!" ;D ;D ;D :D :D :D ::) ::) ::) ::) ;D :D ;)
"Ya mean this ain't Burger King?" ;D ;D ;D ;D
"Why would anyone grind up a decent steak? What is that thing, a beef sausage patty??" The Frumpy Fairy Godmother stares.
Cause with the often tough beef of the era it was easier for folks with bad teeth ta be able to eat. ::) ::)
Sides that if the cook used good meat and hand ground it as needed it would add cost to the item, that's what gooooomay food is all about, it don't have to be good, just more 'spensive. ;D ;D
Cheap ground beef made out of the scraps is a product of the 20th century, made popular by folks bein' able to drive up and get food with out gettin' outa their horseless carrages. ;D ;D With out that contraption ground cow would sell far less than it does. ;)
"You said you used top sirloin, not cheap, tough meat. You took a decent steak and made a sausage patty out of it. Humph!"
Steers weren't grain feed back in the cattle drive days. They ate grass on the drives. I doubt that after they reached the stockyards they were finished on grain.
QuoteIt is a custom to put old boots on fence posts to keep the horses from hurting themselves on the fence.
Mr. Google found this, but I don't believe it is true 'cuz it makes no logical sense. Can't horses see fence posts?
Another one Mr. Google found was something about the stink of the boots would keep 'yotes away from livestock. ::) ::) ::)
FFg, top sirloin is only a mediocere piece of meat, Hamburg steak is made out of meat of a fair quality, it has about the right amount of fat and little or no gristle. Out here on the ranch we don't need to eat the lesser cuts, we trade that with the homesteaders for onions and other garden crops. ;D If you want a unground steak, we can do a 1 1/2 ich thick porterhouse for you.
And besides that Hamburg steak is meant to be eaten on the plate as a steak, not slapped on a bun and salad and other goop poured all over it. ;D ;D
Would you rather have a porterhouse? ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother visibly brightens.
"Yes, please!"
Ok, I'll get my saw and knife and go get you a nice one off the loin I got hangin' in the shed. ;D ;D
Will you be sweet and melt me up about a 1/2 pound of butter, I'll cut several, since I have both loins hangin' in the shed. Slim You did get rid of that hide from that steer ya butchered didn't you. ::) ::) Don't ferget the melted butter, if there ain't enough in the icebox, have Slim go to the cellar and get some. I got a bunch the other day when I traded the chuck off the steer to the hmesteaders down the river. ;D ;)
"Yep I got rid of it."
<Slim, don't ferget ta put yer boots in yer soogun at night. If ya don't the yodel dogs might come inta camp and eat them after the fire dies. :o :o :o :o Ya ain't even close and this one I've come to believe really makes sense. But ya got to understand cowboys to figger it out. I've been askin' some of them latley and some have been tolt this by dad and grandpa as to the reason.
Try www.cowhand.com, oops, sorry thats nuthin' but a Dan Roberts song makin' fun of modern things. ;D ;D Did ya know a 3.5 inch floppy comes from a small cow. ;D>
"I'm always sweet!" And yes, the smile she flashes to Delmonico is sweet and unfeigned. The Frumpy Fairy Godmother glides to the kitchen and starts on the butter.
Quote from: Delmonico on January 28, 2005, 01:07:03 PM
<Slim, don't ferget ta put yer boots in yer soogun at night. If ya don't the yodel dogs might come inta camp and eat them after the fire dies. :o :o :o :o Ya ain't even close and this one I've come to believe really makes sense. But ya got to understand cowboys to figger it out. I've been askin' some of them latley and some have been tolt this by dad and grandpa as to the reason.
Try www.cowhand.com, oops, sorry thats nuthin' but a Dan Roberts song makin' fun of modern things. ;D ;D Did ya know a 3.5 inch floppy comes from a small cow. ;D>
Do the boot tips point toward the livestock or away from them? Or don't it matter?
Roger L. Welsch wrote an article in 1987 titled "Boots on Fence Posts" but I can't get to read the whole thing without payin' $. He is/was a professor of English and anthropology at the University of Nebraska. :(
I know Roger slightly. don't know if his theroy is the same. Tain't got nuthin' ta do with livestock. ;D ;D
"Remember," quoteth the greateth Delmonico, "The big red N in Nebraska stands for nowledge."
:D
AnnieLee
Only the one on the Stadium and the ones on the helmets. ;D ;D They ain't got a lot of humor when one a their Prof's makes fun of them. ::)
"Has that Doctor's note expired yet? I am about ready to call for AnnieLee to come in with her skillet."
Sorry got another week left on the note. ;D ;D ;D ;D
<Slim if you are gonna get to pass Cowboy Kindergarden yer gonna have to do yer homework this weekend. You may check in from time to time and see if anyone has posted the answer. I will post it sometime after 8:57 pm Sunday if you want to check in. If you pass you can go one to Cowboy U as on CMT. Remember the Braymers are waitin' fer you. >
Mean while back at the ranch, Delmonico has a large castirion grill, complete with gridirons set up on the top of the stove. He puts a bunch of corncobs in the stove, when the cobs are burnt down and the grill hot he sears a bunch of porterhouse steaks on both sides.
After they are seared the gtill has cooled somewhat and he gets out a pastry brush and bastes them well with butter on the up side. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
As they are cooking he sprinkles them with some fresh ground black pepper. ;D
"He mutters to himself, I hope I can get these done a fore Gopher Grease gets here, he'll want to eat his afore it's fully cooked." ::) ::)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother leaps forward.
"Quick, turn mine and Gopher Grease's steaks over and do the other side. I like them still twitching!"
She gives the steaks a worried looking, hoping that she caught them in time.
Just then Trinity steps into the kitchen with ketchup smeared all around his mouth and the back of his hand. "Whatcha got Delmonico? Ah'm still hongry. ... Mmmmmm, mm! Ah loves some steak!!!! Ah lahk ma steak still red inside, but warm! Please don't overdo it, she only needs a little bit more.
HEY GOPHERGREASE!!! COME IN HERE, THERES STEAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Slap mine on the plate as long as its not MOOOing it done.
knock it's horns off, wipe it's butt and send it to the dining room.
Del thinks he gota always have good meat burnt till ya cant tell what it was ta start.
We're being Heeestorically correct here, thats what the butter is for, to keep it tender while it cooks "SLOW". Old time cowboys did not eat rare beef, grilled steaks were basted in butter and cooked medium. >:( >:(
"Ah ain' no historically keeerect cowpoke, Delmonico. Ahm a movie cowboy with a fake accent. Medium rare steak closer to rare, please."
when I was a kid my Mom was the chef at the local country club and then later she owned several nice eaterys but when she cooked for us at home she cooked the way Dad liked things; brown almost done and black ready to eat. The juice from the meat was used for gravy, Dad came a long line of goatropers. ;D
Aint nothin' wrong with meat juices!!! Don' like the 'black = ready to eat' part, however.
Trinity this fella came lookn for ya, clam to be your brother. I think hes hunting a bounty, cus he dont look none like you. Told him dont know anyone like he be looking for.
Quote from: Delmonico on January 28, 2005, 07:55:30 PM
We're being Heeestorically correct here, thats what the butter is for, to keep it tender while it cooks "SLOW". Old time cowboys did not eat rare beef, grilled steaks were basted in butter and cooked medium. >:( >:(
"And I am not a cow, nor a boy, I am a Frumpy Fairy Godmother! Bring it over as soon as it stops mooing!"
(Author's note: Notice she didn't say she was imaginary. She really does think she is real! :D )
Quote from: gophergrease on January 28, 2005, 09:26:27 PM
Trinity this fella came lookn for ya, clam to be your brother. I think hes hunting a bounty, cus he dont look none like you. Told him dont know anyone like he be looking for.
"Gophergrease, that is mah brother, but you was right. Fer him to come a-lookin fer me means that he must have been huntin' a bounty or a meal. He ain' never had much love fer me :'( Ah think he was jealous of me cause I learnt ta read"
He said he would be in town at the saloon for 2-3 days. So if ya dont want to see him ya mite have ta stay out of that place.
Quote from: AnnieLee on January 28, 2005, 09:43:45 PM
(Author's note: Notice she didn't say she was imaginary. She really does think she is real! :D )
"Jest what d'you mean imaginary??? Miss FFG, ifn you'd be doubtin' yourself, just go ahead and stop it right now! We won't have none of that from our resident Fairy Godmother, Frumpy or otherwise."
Quote from: gophergrease on January 28, 2005, 10:03:06 PM
He said he would be in town at the saloon for 2-3 days. So if ya dont want to see him ya mite have ta stay out of that place.
"Thankee Gophergrease. Ah ain' skeert of him, Ahma goin' ta see mah brother right now!"
Quote from: Trinity on January 28, 2005, 10:06:31 PM
Quote from: AnnieLee on January 28, 2005, 09:43:45 PM
(Author's note: Notice she didn't say she was imaginary. She really does think she is real! :D )
"Jest what d'you mean imaginary??? Miss FFG, ifn you'd be doubtin' yourself, just go ahead and stop it right now! We won't have none of that from our resident Fairy Godmother, Frumpy or otherwise."
"Dear Trinity, I never doubt myself, I know I am quite real. I'm also hungry. What happened to Delmonico and the steaks?"
"Miss FFG, Ah think ole Delmonico fell asleep at the grill. Ah done had to go and have a breakfast dinner with Gophergrease in another Thread! Right now I gotta go to town ta see ma brother, come along..."
Trinity changes back into his old clothes (because otherwise, Bambio would not recognize him) and rides to town. When in town, he seeks out he seediest saloon and there he finds Bambino.
Bambino greets Trinity with his regular gruffness but together they drink. Trinity learns that Bambino is not seeking him out for a bounty, but is running from the law and needs a place to lie low for a while.
While everyone else is off runnin' round the country lookin' fer free drinks, Delmonico finishes the steaks his way. ;D Just seared on the outside, and then cooked slow enough to give them just a hint of pink in the center, but not burned on the outside like H-Bomb powered grillers do when tryin' to make a medium steak. The melted butter soakin' into them as they slowly cook makes them moister than if ya cooked em rare on a HOT fire. :P :P ;D ;)
Add a bunch a mushrooms and it will be just like the Mark Twain steak that he described. :)
Gopher grease grabs some steaks and his pistols, tell Del hate to eat and run but need to ride to town. You come if you want, going to make shur Trinity isnt geting in a mess.
Heading out to get a fast mule, then off to town.
Meanwhile, back in town Trinity tries to explain Delmonico to Bambino.
"Ya gotta watch EVER thing you drink. Give it a goooood wiff afore commencing ta drink. Ya gotta watch your boots fer scorpyons, I ain't sure they crawl in there themselves. Ya gotta watch yer food fer buckshot, even the vege-tibles. Ya gotta take a bath (!!) or he'll threaten to berl your skin off an Ah think He'd do it! Ya gotta..."
Finding the cheapest bar in town, with Trinity and his brother. Gopher Grease heads in. Hearing the tell of Bambio, GG has a thought. The gold fields of the Black Hill will be a good place for him to hide. Besides the could be some money to be made up that way.
I now present Mr. Mark Twain
"They have beef steak in Europe, but they don't know how to cook it. Neither do they know how to cut it right. It comes on the tablle on a small pewter platter; it is the size, shape, and thickness of a mans hand with the thumb and fingers cut off. It is a little overdone, it is rather dry, it tastes perfectly insepid, it arouses no enthusiam." This is painfully true if one has in mind such as a porterhouse steak as may be found on many American tables: " a mighty one an inch and a half thick, hot and sputtering from the gridiron; dusted with fragarant pepper, enrich with little pieces of melting butter of the most empeachable freshness and genuineness; the precious juices of the meat trickling out and joining the gravy; archipelagoed with mushrooms; a township or two of tender yellow fat gracing an outlying district of this county of beefsteak, the long white bone which divides the sirloin from the tenderloin still in place."
Almost forgot I bring you so steaks from the ranch. Mite help get that rot gut wiskey down.
Trinity graciously accepts while Bambino grabs the steak and both devour it on the spot. Bambino mutters something about the gold fields being too much work for his liking. He is a horse thief by trade and is only interested in stealing horses.
I was thinkn of hauling a load of huch up there, Buy it here for $1.00 a bottle sell it for $5.00.
Trinity slaps his head against the bar (don't ask me why, that's just what he did). "Why din' Ah think about that. We ain' gotta BUY hooch, we sell mine!!! I make it using mother's recipe. I've got several stills around where I been makin' cone-squeezin's fer maself. Din' never think 'bout sellin' it!!!
We can't sell it all though cuz I gotta keep some fer maself and besides, Ah think Miss FFG likes it too.
Ya sell a bunch of that stuff ya been maken, ya can sell them trere horses in the morn. They woult remember even have a horse the nite before.
"Good thinkin' there Gophergrease! Bambino, you get to work on the horses and A'll go to mah still. Ah hope you ain' O-ffended, Gophergrease, but Ah gotta keep mah still location a secret"
After having one more drink for the trail... heck two more drinks for the trail, Bambino rounds up horses with childlike giddiness and Trinity takes a buckboard and rides off toward the secret still with the same gidiness. "Ah'll make sure to brang a special bottle back fer Miss FFG!"
With GG and Trinity gone sellin' whiskey to the minors, oops, miners. ;D Delmonico starts to clean up the house. ::) ::) There is a lot of sawdust around, that is swept up and put in a barrel out in the back entry way. ;D ;D Duke takes the rugs out and gives them a good shakin'. Among the junk, Delmonico finds a couple of pair of worn out boots.
"Duke, in about an hour we should be done here and we can run out and hang these on fence posts out along the road. ;D ;D ??? ::) ::) :D :D ;)
Del. done told me were your stills are. He wanted me to put them figs in them. Dont worry none, I told him that be to mean a thing to do.
Delmonico throws the boots over his saddle, "Come on Duke we'll go down by the road and hang these on the fence posts. I'll bet that will drive the Greenhorns and Dudes crazy wonderin' why. It will give folklorist's all kinds of things to do tryin' to figure it out. The funny thing is few will really think that we are just tryin' to drive them crazy." ;D
While loading up the buckboard with stock from the still secret still (as apposed to the decoy stills) Trinity samples the product and ponders Delmonico's strange fixation on fences when he remembers a song from his days in Texas:
Oh, give me land, lots of land under starry skies above,
Don't fence me in.
Let me ride through the wide open country that I love,
Don't fence me in.
Let me be by myself in the evenin' breeze,
And listen to the murmur of the cottonwood trees,
Send me off forever but I ask you please,
Don't fence me in.
Just turn me loose, let me straddle my old saddle
Underneath the western skies.
On my Cayuse, let me wander over yonder
Till I see the mountains rise.
I want to ride to the ridge where the west commences
And gaze at the moon till I lose my senses
And I can't look at hovels and I can't stand fences
Don't fence me in.
Oh, give me land, lots of land under starry skies,
Don't fence me in.
Let me ride through the wide open country that I love,
Don't fence me in.
Let me be by myself in the evenin' breeze
And listen to the murmur of the cottonwood trees
Send me off forever but I ask you please,
Don't fence me in
Just turn me loose, let me straddle my old saddle
Underneath the western skies
On my Cayuse, let me wander over yonder
Till I see the mountains rise.
Ba boo ba ba boo.
I want to ride to the ridge where the west commences
And gaze at the moon till I lose my senses
And I can't look at hobbles and I can't stand fences
Don't fence me in.
No.
don't you fence me in
Trinity wraps up loading the buckboard and just as he is leaving he remembers the special brew he made for AnnieLee:
"Whew! Ah almost fergot mah grain brew what that German feller taught me when he came ta learn how ta grow 'baccer from mah family. Funny, Ole Delmonico ain't missed none of them peppermint sticks from his coffee bags!"
Quote from: Delmonico on January 30, 2005, 08:58:07 PM
Delmonico throws the boots over his saddle, "Come on Duke we'll go down by the road and hang these on the fence posts. I'll bet that will drive the Greenhorns and Dudes crazy wonderin' why. It will give folklorist's all kinds of things to do tryin' to figure it out. The funny thing is few will really think that we are just tryin' to drive them crazy." ;D
I figgered as much. ::)
Slim rides up to the ranch house towing a Jersy cow and a pack horse with chicken crates tied to it. He takes his saddle bags off his horse and goes in the house. He wipes his feet and yells,"Del, are ya around?"
When Slim steps inta the kitchen, he sees that Delmonico's office door is locked again and there are strange clompin' noises coming out from time to time. ??? ::) ::) ::) ;D :D ;)
"What in tarnation are ya doin' in there, Del?"
Helpin' Gopher Grease, he's gonna make us a German Chock-0-lite cake when he gets in tonight. ;D ;D Why, what did you think I was doin'? ;D ;D
"Try'n ta wear out some boots ta put on more fence posts." :P "By the by, I brought some brown lay'n hen and a rooster so'z we can have our own eggs. I also brought a mik cow so'z we can have fresh milk and butter. I'll go put 'em away."
(Far, far away, sitting in a cube in DC, AnnieLee thinks about brown yard eggs and how she's stopped buying white eggs, and how she pays yuppy "organic" prices for something as simple as a yard egg, and how it was Slim's talking about it that sent her off that way and ruined her for white eggs, so... she stops for a moment to realize:
It's ALL Slim's Fault.
:D
AnnieLee... when she types inside the parenthesis, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother can't see her text )
Quote from: AnnieLee on January 31, 2005, 02:35:57 PM
(Far, far away, sitting in a cube in DC, AnnieLee thinks about brown yard eggs and how she's stopped buying white eggs, and how she pays yuppy "organic" prices for something as simple as a yard egg, and how it was Slim's talking about it that sent her off that way and ruined her for white eggs, so... she stops for a moment to realize:
It's ALL Slim's Fault.
:D
AnnieLee... when she types inside the parenthesis, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother can't see her text )
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother, who had been quietly and invisibly sitting on the far side of the seat of the buckboard, sniffing for that peppermint corn squeezings, tilts her invisible head.
"A cow? Fresh milk?!? I'm there!" She exclaims, forgetting she is in stealth mode.
With a scattering of glittering sawdust, she *poofs* away from the buckboard and back to the house, where she reappears, once more getting sawdust on Delmonico's floor.
Grabbing up a pail and a small stool, she runs outside to the cow.
Delmonico comes out of his office and puts a bowl of chopped up coconut on the table. "Here's the coconut for GG's German Chock-o-Lite cake. Ya ought to see what I found that is really wild and awsome!" ::) ::) ::) ::) ;)
Trinity walks into the kitchen carying a bottle and looks at the coconut. "What's that white stuff fer, Delmonico?? It looks like white wood shavings. Ya want me ta sweep it away?
Hey, y'ain't seen Miss FFG or Gophergrease, have ya?"
Receiving no response to either questions, Trinity takes the bottle and leaves it in AnnieLee's room before Delmonico desides to speak and asks him about it. He returns to the kitchen and looks for something to sweep the white shavings up with.
From his closed office door, Delmonico hollors, "Don't you touch that shredded coconut, GG is gonna make us a German Chock-O-Lite cake."
Suddenly the sound of a horse riddin' up to the house is heard. Trinity heads to the door and opens it to see who it is. Outside is Delmonico bangin' the two halves of the coconut shell together. ;D ;D ;D ;D ::) ::) ::) ::) :D :D :D ;) ;)
"Del, that's a neat trick. Sounds just like hoss hooves." ;D ;D
"By the by, did ya get a butter churn the last time ya ordered stuff from town?"
No I didn't, ya never tolt me we was gonna need one. ::) ::) Ya better bring one back from Wissyconsion next week. Butter churns better if it has sat a while anyway. ;D
Meanwhile, Trinity is still looking outside for the visitors.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother comes back from the cow with a pail full of milk. On her way inside, she stops to give Trinity a happy kiss on the cheek.
:-*
"Why thankee Miss FFG. Ah shore did need that. Ah think Delmonico is playing pranks on me again.
Say, Ah lef a special bottle of brew fer ya in yore room. I hadda hide it from Delmonico cuz ya know how he likes to watch people get sick and all. Anyway, this is a special brew made from grains stedda corn and it has a special flavoring. You need to be careful, because it tastes so much like candy that you can drink too much before ya know it. ...'Course, "ain' nothing wrong in drinkin' too much", mah granny always said.
Delmonico comes into the kitchen, "I guess I'll put the sredded coconut away till Gopher Grease shows up to make us that German chock-o-lite cake. I even got a couple of bars of German Brand unsweetened chock-o-lite to make the cake with, comes all the way from New Jersey. ;D ;D Course German chock-o-lite cake has nothin' to do with the country of Germany. ;D ;D It is american, the recipe was developed by the "German" chock-o-lite company of New Jersey." ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
"Slim, yer gonna have to get us a cream seperator when yer back in Wissyconsion this weekend also, waitin' fer the cream to rise and skimmin' it is too much work in this modern world."
Delmonico then sneaks to the back porch and clomps the coconuts again. :o :o ;D :D ;)
Trinity stops dead in his tracks... waits and then runs around to the back of the house.
Delmonico has slipped in to the house and has hidden the coconut shells in his desk drawer and looked it as Trinity is comin' round the house. He closes his office door and steps to the back porch.
"Did you hear sumthin' Trinity, I thought I heard a rider, but I don't see anyone." ;D ;D ;)
Lookin' out on the back porch, Delmonico sees no sign of Trinity. "Well durn, I guess the Ghost of the Dismal River has got him. Durn I hate to see that happen, I'll bet he screams a lot, just like the last fella that the ghost got." :o :o ::)
"Durn it's hard to get any sleep when that ghost is doin' whatever it does to make a fella scream like that." ;D ;D ;)
Quote from: Delmonico on February 01, 2005, 09:29:36 PM
Delmonico comes into the kitchen, "I guess I'll put the sredded coconut away till Gopher Grease shows up to make us that German chock-o-lite cake. I even got a couple of bars of German Brand unsweetened chock-o-lite to make the cake with, comes all the way from New Jersey. ;D ;D Course German chock-o-lite cake has nothin' to do with the country of Germany. ;D ;D It is american, the recipe was developed by the "German" chock-o-lite company of New Jersey." ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
"Slim, yer gonna have to get us a cream seperator when yer back in Wissyconsion this weekend also, waitin' fer the cream to rise and skimmin' it is too much work in this modern world."
Delmonico then sneaks to the back porch and clomps the coconuts again. :o :o ;D :D ;)
"Never heard of no cream seperator. ??? We'z just wait a bit and skim it off the top."
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother takes some of the top of the cream from the pail to put in her coffee. She takes a sip and gives a blissful sigh.
Well you better be googlein' us up one, they were perfected for the home market in the 1870's. So if it's the latest and the best we need one here. ;D ;D I could go get Grandpa's out of the shed, but it's covered with junk since it ain't been used in over 35 years. ;) But ya better find us one Slim! ;)
And see if that ghost really got Trinity. ;D
Del
Would this one do, or you lookin' for somthin' bigger?
:o That might be big enough. We only have one cow.
That'll do fer now, but when that line goin' to the Black Hills that CB&Q is buildin' goes up the Middle Loup River, we might want to builld up the herd, we can make more money that GG and Trinity will with their moonshinin', they gonna get caught by the Revenoooers. Sides that them hills is saterated with illeagal stills, tain't like they got an original Idea. ;D
We be don it all leagl like. Been ta town and got the papper to prove it, just used my kins name. They got a big still workn down in MO. Now we tell the revenoers bout them other ilegal ones and get them shut down.
Hey, I used ta drink that stuff, even been to the deeestillary.
"Then you done been to one of mah decow stills" Trinity walks into the yard... well, he weaves into the yard. He offers no excuse to his disappearance last night. ::)
"Gophergrease, good work on them bottles. They shore look better than mine. Come on, we gotta get to work transferrin' the brew and then get on the road ta sellin' this stuff!" ;D ;D ;D
NOTE: I have that jug. aged 15 years befor bottleing, bottem staped 1967.
Suddenly there is a clip-clop clip-clop clip-clop clip-clop clip-clop clip-clop clip-clop clip-clop clip-clop
clip-clop clip-clop clip-clop clip-clop clip-clop clip-clop clip-clop clip-clop clip-clp clip-clop clip-clop
clip-clop clip-clop clip-clop clip-clop clip-clop clip-clop clip-clop clip-clop clip-clop clip-clop clip-clop noise behind the house. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
"Run Trinity, run, it's the Revenooooers"
Trinity put this in your jug.
Licorice Root Liqueur
2 1/2 tablespoons chopped licorice root
1 1/2 cups vodka
1/2 cup sugar syrup
To make one unit of sugar syrup:
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup water
Bring to boil together, let stand a minute or two before adding to anything else.
Wash and chop the root into small pieces. Steep for a week, strain and filter. Add syrup, bottle.
On hearing the word "licorice", the Frumpy Fairy Godmother retreats to her room with her coffee.
(Ewwie!!!!)
Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice,
Delmoico likes Licorice.
Delmonico makes a note to keep a stick of Licorice in his pocket from now on to protect him from FFg's, kinda like a wooden stake will protect you from Vampires. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D >:(
Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice,
Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice,
Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice,
Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice,
Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice,
Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice,
Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice,
Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice,
Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice,
Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice,
Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice,
Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice, Licorice,
In the middle of his litany of licorice, the air around Delmonico shimmers a bit and he turns into a gerbil.
From behind the Frumpy Fairy Godmother's door comes the softly spoken words: "I don't think so."
Later litttle black speck lookin' things start to appear in the FFg's room, everywhere. ;D ;D ;D ;D
On her pillow, on her dresser, in her dresser drawer, the one she keeps her flannel un-mentionables in. Even in the shot glass beside the bottle of homemade peppermint schnapps that Trinity made. In fact her shooes are half filled with little black specks. :o ::) ;D
OOOOOOOOOOH! :o
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother tsks at all the gerbil poop.
"Keep doing that, Delmonico, and I'll put a cork someplace that even the chalky stuff won't remove!"
It would be easier to turn me back to my crabby ol' self. Ya ever try to catch a rodent loose in a house. :D :D :D :D :D Feathers fly as Delmonico the Gerbil tears up a feather pillow. ;D ;D Hidin' behind the dresser he starts chewin' loudly on the base board. ;D ;D :o ::) ::)
"Behave, Delmonico, or I will wave the wand and get Richard Gere in here!"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother leaves it to Slim to do a Google search on Richard Gere and gerbils.
"Gotta catch me first, I ain't no wimpy pet store gerbil." Finding a school slate, well fuess what, you think finger nails on a chalk-board are bad. ;D ;D
"Humph." With a flip of her wand and an idle hope that Delmonico the gerbil is not currently in a small place, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother transforms him into the body of a seven year old Shirley Temple.
(http://www.famousfoto.com/B368.JPG)
:o :o :o :o
( Better a pic of Shirley than one of Mr. Gere and his gerbils, eh, Slim? ;) )
If you don't turn me back to my crabby ol' self I'm gonna sing "The Good Ship Lollipop" and that would be worse'n the chalkboard and anything to do with gerbils. ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: AnnieLee on February 03, 2005, 02:28:22 PM
( Better a pic of Shirley than one of Mr. Gere and his gerbils, eh, Slim? ;) )
That's fer sure. ::)
We could dress ya like this. :D :D :D
(http://www.classicmoviekids.com/images/t/temple/shirleytemple201.jpg)
( Will comes in and reads over AnnieLee's shoulder. "Could be worse than Good Ship Lollipop," he says, laughing, "could be 'Animal crackers in my soup, monkeys and rabbits like to poop.'" :D ;D ;D ;D)
Will make her turn me back, I'll tell you a secret if you do. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;)
"The Good Ship Lollipop"
I've thrown away my toys
Even my drum and train.
I wanna make some noise
With real live aeroplanes.
Some day I'm going to fly.
I'll be a pilot too.
And when I do, how would you
Like to be my crew...
On the good ship lollipop.
Its a sweet trip to a candy shop
Where bon-bons play
On the sunny beach of Peppermint Bay.
Lemonade stands everywhere.
Crackerjack bands fill the air.
And there you are
Happy landing on a chocolate bar.
See the sugar bowl do the tootsie roll
With the big bad devils food cake.
If you eat too much ooh ooh
You'll awake with a tummy ache.
On the good ship lollipop
Its a night trip into bed you hop
And dream away
On the good ship lollipop.
As song by DELMONICO, accompamyed by seven howling coyotes.
:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(
:'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
(Will says: "Turn him into a chicken, first!")
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gets a far away look in her eyes, then waves her magic wand. **POOF**, as soon as Delmonico finishes singing, he turns into a pullet.
:D
(Could've been worse, could have been a capon!)
Tonites supper:
Chicken dumplings and peach cobbler
Now if I can just catch that dam stay bird runing around here.
Maybe I should load the shotgun with #12 so it dont make to big of holes in the house.
Just as Gophergrease is putting a good bead on the wayward chicken, it returns to Delmonico's crabby ol' self, but sprinkled with sawdust.
There is a hint of laughter behind the Frumpy Fairy Godmother's door, then her light is blown out and she goes to bed.
Delmonico, goes in his office and slams the door. He reopens it when Duke scratches at the door and lets him in. ;) He gets out his fountan pen and a sheet of paper and starts a list of how to get even. ;D ;D ;D ;D He has a thought, goes to the kitchen and finds a bottle of licorice extract. :o :o :o He then returns to his office. ??? ::) :D ;)
Gettin' out his Sears and Roebuck Catalog he orders a rubber snake. ;D ;D Then he has another thought and writes a friend in Michygun and orders a wolverine. ;D ;D The for good measure he writes a friend in Airy-zona and orders a dozen ta-rancey-las. ;D ;D ;D Then he adds a pair of hoof trimmers to the Sears and Roebuck order along with three jars of Vas-o-line. :( ::) ;)
Quote from: AnnieLee on February 02, 2005, 10:39:11 PM
On hearing the word "licorice", the Frumpy Fairy Godmother retreats to her room with her coffee.
(Ewwie!!!!)
Trinity enters, haven returned from hiding his hootch again from the revenoooooooooooooers. "Ah don' like Lik-o-rish either, Gophergrease. sorry. Ah may take fennel in mah Eye-talian sausage, but that is as close as I will get to that dang-gummed flavor!!! Ah wonst had a bad time with some greek fellers that stayed at mah family's place ta learn about 'baccer growin'. They was more fun then the Germans, but their dranks weren't fun atall!
What's fer dinner? It's a good thing we ain' gonna have none of that Chicken that was runnin' around here. It looked mighty tough and dry!
Say, Slim, can ya get us a map of the minin' towns in the area so that Gophergrease and I can get ta sellin'?"
Trinity thinks for a moment... the first time since Gophergrease suggested this venture... "Sin' Ah ain from around here, what on earth is they minin' roun' here?"
"If I 'member right, the talk was takin' the hooch ta the Black Hills in Dakota Territory."
Gold, there is gold in them thar (Black) Hills. North-West corner a da map.
http://fermi.jhuapl.edu/states/1895/ne_1895.jpg
Now be careful, GG ain't from around here either and he don't know that coutry, but I took him to the edge of it this summer. No foolin' if you don't follow my instructions yer gonna get in trouble very fast, worsn'n if I gave ya castor oil and iccy-peck at once.
We are on the Dismal river, 'bout on the border of Blaine and Thomas County. Go straight North till ya cross the Ni-eee-bra river. Turn left and follow the river, don't go any further north inta Dakota, you'll in up on the Reservations and one or more of three things could happen. A lot of them Lakota's ain't real friendly, they might just kill you and scalp you. :o :o
The Reservation Police might just shoot you fer carrying the booze. But they most likely won't scalp you, just shoot you. Or the Army might shoot you or arrest you and take ya ta Levenworth. :o :o
Don't go south ta the RR and go North at Sidney, to many Sherrifs and US Deputy Marshalls, thy will arrest you also. Don't go straight west, you get lost in them hills and we'll never see you again. Go back about 50-75 pages, Slim got lost and we had to call out the National Guard to find him. ::)
By following the "NORTH" side of the river you'll avoid the trackless sandhills and the route will be easy, unless Doc Middleton steals yer horse's. :o But don't worry, he won't shoot you, he's known as the "Gentleman Horse Thief".
But don't go out inta those hills, you'll get lost.
"I didn't get lost. I was spirited away by a giant locust." <Biblical term>
Ya well if they head straight west they'll run into this. :o :o
http://terraserver.homeadvisor.msn.com/image.aspx?T=1&S=15&Z=13&X=109&Y=728&W=1&qs=%7cLakeside%7cNE%7c
Go ahead and bring that in and out, up and down, that ain't Minny-soda, that is the Newbrasskey sandhills Lake region. Them and their hooch would sink in a bog and it would be like that movie "Hallualooola Trail" Trinity would be sittin' round waitin' fer his hooch ta surface. ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on February 04, 2005, 03:06:29 PM
Ya well if they head straight west they'll run into this. :o :o
http://terraserver.homeadvisor.msn.com/image.aspx?T=1&S=15&Z=13&X=109&Y=728&W=1&qs=%7cLakeside%7cNE%7c
Go ahead and bring that in and out, up and down, that ain't Minny-soda, that is the Newbrasskey sandhills Lake region. Them and their hooch would sink in a bog and it would be like that movie "Hallualooola Trail" Trinity would be sittin' round waitin' fer his hooch ta surface. ;D
Are those lakes spring feed?
I saw dat movie. ;D
Dem lakes are the water table, they're just low places in the land. ;D ;D
Mean while back at the ranch, there is a knock on the door. Delmonico answers it, is heard to say thank you and heads to his office with a box. Duke heads right in this time and dosen't have to scratch at the door. ;D ;D
The door to the Frumpy Fairy Godmother slowly drifts open to show the room inside is clean and she is no longer there.
;D
After Delmonico's lecture, Trinity takes the map and heads to the door to leave. On his way, he walks by the FFG's room and shouts: "What in tarnation!??! Anyone see what happent to miss FFG?? Ah think she done lef us!!!! Now, why would she leave us? Ah'll bet ole Delmonico upset her with all them little turds."
Don't worry Trinity, she's around here somewhere, I just checked and her "online" light is on. ;D ;D She's watchin' us with some of that computor spyware we keep hearin' about. ::) ::) ;D ;)
I bet she has got the gerbil poop somewhere and is plannin' somethin' with it. ;D She peeked and seen the list of things I ordered and she's hidin' cause she ain't figgered out what I'm gonn do with it all. She thinks she knows about the rubber snake, but I'm gonna fool her, oops, fergot she's spyin'. :o :o ;D ;)
"Puter spy air??" ??? ??? Trinity looks confused.
Ya it means she uses out compoooters to spy on us usin' her compoooter. :o :o :o Just look up at the top and see who's lookin' at the topic. ;D ;D If it says Annie Lee the FFg is spyin' on us, cause she uses Annie Lee's log in and compoooter to spy on us. ::) ;D :D :D ;) ;) She was watchin' just a minute ago just before I pushed the reply button. ;D ;D ;D We have to use Private Message or she can she what we are posting and do evil things to counter act it. ;D ;D ;)
(Morning comes, and brings a song in the air:
"Paranioia strikes deep, into your hearts it will creep...."
Heh heh heh,
:D
AnnieLee, who was sewing last night)
Quote from: Delmonico on February 04, 2005, 11:53:21 PM
Ya it means she uses out compoooters to spy on us usin' her compoooter. :o :o :o Just look up at the top and see who's lookin' at the topic. ;D ;D If it says Annie Lee the FFg is spyin' on us, cause she uses Annie Lee's log in and compoooter to spy on us. ::) ;D :D :D ;) ;) She was watchin' just a minute ago just before I pushed the reply button. ;D ;D ;D We have to use Private Message or she can she what we are posting and do evil things to counter act it. ;D ;D ;)
Trinity is still confused: ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? Ah done looked at the top an' it says "
Trinity and 0 Visitors are viewing this topic.". Ah just don' know what you are talking about. Now Ah don' drank too much and am cornfused so's Ah kaint go and do the business that I was plannin' on doin'!!!
Delmonico puts a sign out on the porch, "Cupalo Fer Rent" ;D Dern she could be a rotten
troublemaker, but that FFg was good fer sumthin', all the sawdust she left behind was good to put down when Trinity drank to much and puked on the floor. ;D ;D ;D ;D
Delmonico decides to head to bed, his stuff he ordered should be in this week. Then he can get even with Slim for his part in the Gerbil/Shirley Temple/Chicken fiasco. ;D ;D ;D ;D And castor oil just won't be good enough. :o :o ;) Sides that it might mess up the Wedgewood WC. ;D ;D
When Delmonico gets up in the morning, the sign has mysteriously changed. It now reads:
"The cozie here is a grump and a pain in the rear, but he cooks good when he leaves out the castor oil."
:D
Delmonico chpos the sing inta kindlin' and starts a fire in the cookstove, with an evil grin. ::) :o ;D ;D ;)
There is the sound of a horrible ruckus inside Delmonico's office as Duke squares off with the tarantulas. There's barking and snarling and a single, sharp "yip," but before you know it, Duke is sitting and wagging his tail, surrounded by pieces of arachnid legs and eyes.
( :P )
Slim rides up to the ranch house with a butter churn and a cream separator.
As Slim rides up, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother, who is sitting on the fence rail, gives him a smile, a wave, and a wink.
"Howdy, Slim, how are the wife and the sixteen kids?"
"Howdy, FFG. A couple of 'em are getting over colds. How've ya been?"
"I've been well, thank you. I had to go visit some friends for a few days and Delmonico tried to put my room out for rent, but..." She shrugs a shoulder, "I stopped that. He's been cooped up in his office again and I think Duke has been tangling with something in there. In other words, it's normal. Sorry to hear about the colds, want me to send some oranges that way?"
"Oranges might help. Thanks."
With another wink, she gives a flip of her wand.
"Consider it done."
"Thank ya kindly, ma'am."
"Anything for the cousin of ol' whatsherface, the one with the skillet."
Since the spiders wern't for Slim but to use fer keeping bugs out a the cellar, Delmonico will still be able to get Slim, when the other two packages arrive. ;D ;D
Quote from: AnnieLee on February 07, 2005, 04:54:58 PM
With another wink, she gives a flip of her wand.
"Consider it done."
"Miss FFG, Ah got sompthin here that will help them younguns' colds. Will ya zap it over to them?? Now, Slim... go easy with it, a little goes a loooooooooooooong way ;D ;D ;D ;D"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother hops down from the fence rail and in turn hugs Trinity and Slim.
"How about if we mix some honey with the brew that is in that jar you gave me, Trinity, and send that to the kids, to be given to them one spoonful at a time, to help with their cough? The mint in it would help, too."
"Naw, Miss FFG, ya gotta take deep swigs. Least, that's what mah great-granny always tolt me when ah had a cold as a little booger."
Delmonico thinks that Trinity is gonna get in trouble for providin' alcholic beverages to miners and minors. ;D ;D ;D
Mean while he goes to the window, hopin' the brown stagecoach will show up with his wolverine and the 3 jars of vasoline. ;D ;D ;D ;D Then Slim will be in fer a surprise. ::) :o :o ;)
Ya cant get in trouble for given acholic stuff to miners, unless they dont want to pay and just shot ya for the booz.
With 3 jars of vasoline Del mite be planing a trip to califoran????? ::) ::) :P
Suddenly the stage rolls up to the porch. A Irun box is unloaded and a brown paper wrapped package. :o :o Delmonico heads to his office and shuts the door leavin' Duke out side. To those near, the faint smell of ether is smelled near the door and the nasty snarlin' sounds that came out of the iron box have quieted. ??? ??? ??? :o :o ;D
<Whisper on: A wolverine that has traveled 600 miles in an iron box on a stagecoach is not gonna be in good humor. If ya put him to sleep and rub him with vasoline and comb his hair the wrong way, it's gonna look bad. Ya know what is worse than a wolverine with a bad hair day? :o :o :o :o :o One that wakes up in a strange room with a bad hair day and tabasco sauce splashed under his tail. ;D ;D ;D :o :o :o :o :P :P :P :P :P>
Hope Slim looks under his bed a fore he goes to sleep. ;D ;D ;D ;D
I ain't goin' ta sleep in that room. :o :o :o :o :o :o
Did ya get that hairball from Michigan? :D
Yep and he's havin' a bad hair day. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
<Whisper on: If yer scared of it Slim just whine to the FFg, she'll turn it inta a freshly groomed toy poodle or sumthin' like that. ;D ;D ::) ;)>
...with BIG teeth and claws. :o :o :o :o :o
A poodarine. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
That is bad Slim, it looks like someone drew fangs and claws on a poodle with magic markers. sorry Slim it ain't gonna scare no one. Now if you can't do better there is no supper fer you! ;D ;D ;D ;D
:( :( :( :(
Slim, yer lucky ya only get sent ta bed with out supper. There is a crazy woman runnin' around with a skillet again, she bonked me earlier. :o :o ;)
Sides that I have faith ya can make a scarier lookin' Poodarine. ;D ;D ;D ;D
(Hey now, that Poodarine made me laugh so hard, the people in the cubes around me were "prairie dogging." I liked it! It was almost as good as the Evil squirrel!)
Delmonico goes to the ice box and gets the pounded round steak that has been soakin' in sourdough starter over night and puts it in a colander to drain. He then gets out his twin 15 inch skillets and melts about an inch of lard in them and starts to pre-heat them.
I big load of sourdough biscuits go into the oven and Delmonico flours the "pounded and soaked steaks" and starts to fry the. He then gets out several cans of milk, cause canned milk makes the best gravy to put over those biscuits when the gravy is made in the drippings from those "Cosinero Fried Steaks." ;D ;D
As he sets the table in the dining room he leaves Slims spot empty cause he never came up with a better picture of a poodarine. ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) Slim has just a short time to do this or he gets sent to bed early with out supper. And Delmonico was gonna see if Gopher Gtrease would make a really nice desert tonight. ;D
::)
( < Blows Pepsi out her nose> Oh man, that was bad. Really bad. So why am I still laughing? I dunno!
;D
AnnieLee)
Well it's time fer the rest of us to eat, Slim you go to yer room. We don't want to hear a peep out of you till mornin'. ;D ;D ;D ;D :'( :'( ::) ::) ;)
Gopher Grease makes a plate and sneaks it to Slim, with a note "No more poodarines, please"
After super GG whips up some of the finest Choco moose that has ever been had at any ranch.
Telling Del, Slim can come out of his room. That thing skeet the hell out of me. The 1st one made me want to run for a wooden spike to drive in its heart. The 2nd is just bad. :o :o :o :o :o :o :o
As he's washin' up the dishes, Delmonico is laughin' to himself as to the mileage this bunch can get out of a couple of jars of vasoline. ;D ;D ;D
Ok, Slim can get up, but if he goes out side, be careful there is a strange creature hangin' round, it a cross 'tween a Siamese Cat and a Porkypine. :o :o :o
I'll call it a Bangpine. :D :D :D :D Let Slim try to make a picture of that.
Trinity looks at the first Poodarine scampering around and shouts "Hey, that ain't no Poodarine! That's a Bichon-Frisearine!" He staggers off to his room carying his jug muttering to himself about dog-illiterates.
Over her sighs of contentment over the chocolate mousse, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother conjures a picture to help Slim.
So now make a Chock-o-lite Moose. ;D Maybe a Strawberry Squirrel ::) ::) sides that on the Bangpine I have a question, errrr, never mind, I don't want to even think about it. :o :o :o
:o This Newbrasskie outfit is starting to look like "The Island of Dr. Moreau" ;D
( It could be worse, it could look like the results of that genetic doctor on South Park. :o :o ::)
AnnieLee, and no, Delmonico, I don't know how that Bangpine was bred!)
"Thanks fer the grub, GG." ;D
Ya 'spose this would be a good time to investigate the "Sea Monster" that local legand says lives in Walgen Lake? ;D I have never belived it was a sea monster, more of an Alkali Lake monster. :P :P ::) ;D Ok let me do so checking. Ya didn't think we had sea monsters out here, so poodarines and bangpines ain't that strange?
Delmonico comes out of his office in a hurry, "folks I've been checkin' on things a bit and I found this." :o :o
Walgren Lake State Recreation Area is located in Sheridan County Nebraska, five miles southeast of Hay Springs. All Boating is allowed on this lake, but is limited to 5 mile per hour no-wake limit. This is a very beautiful park with a long and colorful history.
From the early 1880's to the late 1930's, when the lake was known as Alkalai Lake, there were rumors that the lake contained a sea monster. Several famous authors from Mari Sandoz to John Maher wrote stories and accounts of the sightings of the monster. One of John Maher's articles was printed in the London Times.
The lake has approximately 100 surface acres of water. The Nebraska State Game and Parks Commission lists Walgren lake as containing Bluegill, Bullheads, Crappie, Largemouth Bass, Walleye and Yellow Perch. All sea monsters are listed by the state game and parks to be catch and release only.
Facilities at the lake include a wheelchair accessible fishing pier, boat ramp, primitive camping, picnic sites, and restrooms.
"This is along the route I gave Trinity to the Blackhills, Trinity, don't go near the lake on yer runs to the Black hills, if this thing gets yer hooch, no thellin' what might happen." :o :o :o
I must do some more study. ::) ::) Delmonico returns to his office, his rye bread being baked. ;)
"I'd like ta see someone make a roat boat go 5 miles/hour." ;D ;D ;D
Back when I was young and cute and adept, my sister's and I easily had Madeline, the canoe, going more than 5 MPH. Before my sailboat died of lead poisoning, it was difficult to keep it from going over 5 MPH. She wanted to race!
:D
AnnieLee, who thinks Slim didn't like her Bangpine pic. :(
Quote from: AnnieLee on February 09, 2005, 02:57:24 PM
Back when I was young and cute and adept, my sister's and I easily had Madeline, the canoe, going more than 5 MPH. Before my sailboat died of lead poisoning, it was difficult to keep it from going over 5 MPH. She wanted to race!
:D
AnnieLee, who thinks Slim didn't like her Bangpine pic. :(
Sorry, I missed it somehow. It looks much better than my second poodarine. :)
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on February 09, 2005, 03:01:44 PM
Quote from: AnnieLee on February 09, 2005, 02:57:24 PM
Back when I was young and cute and adept, my sister's and I easily had Madeline, the canoe, going more than 5 MPH. Before my sailboat died of lead poisoning, it was difficult to keep it from going over 5 MPH. She wanted to race!
:D
AnnieLee, who thinks Slim didn't like her Bangpine pic. :(
Sorry, I missed it somehow. It looks much better than my second poodarine. :)
Ah, but the second poodarine made me blow Pepsi out my nose! That doesn't happen very often.
:D
AnnieLee
Top this..................
Choco-Moose
Trinity steps up onto the porch after visiting his still all day when he sees the Choco-Moose and yells:
"ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHH!"
Turning white, Trinity falls backwards off of the porch into the snow. Whether he passed out before falling or after is still a mystery today.
"That isn't a Delmonico sculpture, is it? If it was, I'd wonder if it was chocolate or poop."
If ya ate nothin' but chok-o-lite would ya have chock-o-lite poop? Would that be kinda like the monkey coffee beans? Sides that ain't honey just bee barf? Do you know what the white stuff in chicken poop is?
Mean while back at the ranch, Delmonico comes out of his office and makes a samwhich fer a late supper. Sourdough rye bread, cold deer roast, sharp cheddar cheese and mustard and horseraddish. While he is makin' the samwhich he says, "Ya know Walgen lake ain't that far from here, we might have to see about this lake monster, if'n they reported it in a London paper, it must be true. Remember though the Game and Parks Commision says if we catch it we have to put it back."
Quote from: AnnieLee on February 09, 2005, 09:16:22 PM
"That isn't a Delmonico sculpture, is it? If it was, I'd wonder if it was chocolate or poop."
I just 'bout had ta wipe water offa my screen. ;D
(http://www.midwest-fishing.com/Nebraska/photo_images/walgren_2.gif) (http://www.midwest-fishing.com/Nebraska/photo_images/walgren_3.gif)
(http://www.midwest-fishing.com/Nebraska/photo_images/walgren_4.gif) (http://www.ngpc.state.ne.us/nebland/articles/images/walgren.jpg)
Walgren Lake
Did someone mention Moose Poop??? ??? ??? ::) ::) ;D
(http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/22_yikes.gif)
Chock-O-Lite Moose poop, with a hard candy shell, melts in yer mouth, not in yer hand. ;D ;D ;D
But where is the Walgren Lake Monster. And that handicap fishing pier worries me, are they using these folks for bait? ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on February 10, 2005, 12:11:11 PM
But where is the Walgren Lake Monster. And that handicap fishing pier worries me, are they using these folks for bait? ;D ;D ;D
It would appear so. ;D ;D ;D
Slim
Bad news it seems that there are a lot of lakes and rivers round this country infected with these things. :o :o :o An we worry about sharks. ;D There be some up yer way Slim, be carful if'n ya go fishing or swimmin'. ::) ::) ::)
http://www.geocities.com/nessie_hunter/LakeCryptids.html
They must be there, someone's done give em' a Taxanomical name. :D :D :D :D
We must do sumthin' Slim, we must post a reeeeward fer the first person ta catch one a deeees and bring it to the ranch. ;D ;D ;D ;D
Lake Winnebago! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
I'll post a reeeeeeeeeeeeeeward of 200 <whisper on> Confederate <whisper off> :D dollars fer the first person ta catch one a dees lake monsters and bring it ta the ranch. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on February 09, 2005, 10:27:22 PM
If ya ate nothin' but chok-o-lite would ya have chock-o-lite poop? Would that be kinda like the monkey coffee beans? Sides that ain't honey just bee barf? Do you know what the white stuff in chicken poop is?
...
Alfredo sauce ??? ???
Nope, it's nothin' but white chicken poop. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on February 10, 2005, 04:04:57 PM
I'll post a reeeeeeeeeeeeeeward of 200 <whisper on> Confederate <whisper off> :D dollars fer the first person ta catch one a dees lake monsters and bring it ta the ranch. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Do I get the $200.00, I don finded the monster?? ;D ;D ;D
Used moose poop for bait.
Super tonite:
Fried 'fish?'
Hushpuppies
Bater dipped onions
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on February 10, 2005, 04:04:57 PM
Lake Winnebago! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
I'll post a reeeeeeeeeeeeeeward of 200 <whisper on> Confederate <whisper off> :D dollars fer the first person ta catch one a dees lake monsters and bring it ta the ranch. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Been on all of the followin' in Wisconsin (Brown's Lake, Devil's Lake, Lake Geneva, Pewaukee Lake, Lake Winnebago) and ain't seen no monster. ::) ::) :P ;D Been in ::) Pyramid Lake in Nevada, and ani't seen no critter. :o :o But heard stories about people disapperin' on the lake, and no bodies found. :o :o :o
Well that web site says they are there, if ya can't belive what ya Google up then what? :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
'But ya know if they see someone bringin' that big snake to the ranch they gonna send out the black hellycopters agaiiiin and they'll take Slim for questionin' again. ;D ;D ;D
Wonder if they probe him in them hellycopters like them UFO's do? :o :o :o
Oh well GG is makin' used fried fish, hushpuppies and onion rings fer supper. Who cares of the black hellycopter folks and the UFO folks are fightin' 'bout who gets to probe Slim first. :D
BTW, I think the FFg has hid herself in a Rat Hole. ::)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother comes downstairs from her cupola, wiping sleep from her eyes and with pillow wrinkles on one side of her face.
"I had a nice nap. I think I'll.... " There is a pause, as she does not want to offend Gophergrease, "I think I'll have a cheese sandwich for dinner tonight, I am not very hungry and I ate too much of the chocolate mousse."
"Uh, Ah love fish, but would pass tonight an' take me a sangwich too. Ah hope ya don' take no 'fence. Oh, any more of that chawk-lit moooose left over? Ah dint have none las night."
Someone will have ta eat this fish, there only 500lbs of it.
Duke raises a paw to volunteer. It's all food to him, he doesn't care!
:D
"Jest make sure that the fish is good an' dead! It's liable to up an' eat ole Duke. Mebbe ya should give it a few good whacks with that fryin' pan of yourn Ah keep hearin' about, Miss FFG."
Slim come have a plate got freash fish!
"I don't have a skillet, I have a wand. I think that crazy lady living in a trailer in the woods of Virginny has the frying pan. Want me to use the wand on it and maybe turn it into a trout?"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother grins.
If'n it's trout, don't cut the head off, I only eats my trout if'n I can look them in the eye. :o If'n it don't have no eyes ta look at ya, it ain't fresh. ;D
Ain't nothin' I hate more than going to some fancy eatin' house that has trout on the menu and when the waitress comes along and asks if'n she can take yer order you say first I have a question about the trout is that awhole fish with the head still one it and she says no don't worry it is a fillet and then you have to tell her that if it is a fillet that you don't want no headlees fillet, but you want yer trout to only be guttet with the head on and the eyes cook in the head so you know it is fresh and that is the only way you eats trout and that only some heathen would cut the head off a trout and as she is turnin' slightly green cause she is just here for the job and the money and she don't even like sea food and it kinda makes her sick to her stomach cause she is just a little bit preagnat and this dern cowboy lookin' guy is wantin' his dang fish with the head on it and he had you drag out a dozen RAW oysters to him a bit ago and he ranted cause you have 137 kinds of wine on the menu and 123 brands of bottled beer and all you gots is folgers coffee and he don't want none of that cause he thinks you should serve him Kenya AA or at least Arbuckle's and you know what Kenya AA is cause the coffee house that you gets yer latte's at has Kenya AA most everyday as the regular coffee but what the hell is this Arbukle's he's rantin' about cause you ain't never heard of it unless some country over somewhere used to be called something' else but now they got a revaloootion and they changed their name to Arbuckle but anyway he is gonna have the broiled Red Snapper and he don't care about it's head or butt like he did the trout and gawd this guy is a pain in the butt but maybe he'll leave a nice tip cause it ain't my fault the folks that own the fancy resteraunt don't know nuthin' bout what fish to behead and what not to or serve lousy coffee.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother stares at Delmonico as he rants.
"All right, all right! You can have them with their heads on, and eyeballs looking at you!"
She waves her wand and the mega-fish is transformed into 20 live trout that proceed to flop all over the floor. As she watches the fish flop, she mutters under her breath: "The poor waitress was right about one thing, he is a pain in the rear."
Delmonico is very thrilled and takes 17 of the trout to the cow waterin' tank and saves them for another day. He then flips out his pocket knife and dresses the other three. The are lightly salted and peppered and rolled in flour and are fried in some of Slim's Wissyconsion butter. :) :) :) Now that's the way trout shoud be served the fresher the better. :o :o :o
After eatin' his trout and makin' sure he picks out the wonderful, delicate chek meat that is not there when they steal the head from you, but he's not goin' on a rage about it in this post, ;D Delmonico puts on a light jacket and decides to sit on the porch. As he sits there he hears a coyotes off in the distance.
He slips back into the house and puts on heavier clothing and goes to his office and gets his new rifle, a Ballard Light Sporting Rifle in 32-40, the best rifle in the 1880's for the intended task. ::) ::)
Climbing to the top of Hornet's Nest Hill he uses his reed call and makes noises like an injured Jack Rabbit to bring the coyotes into range. Coyotes love Jack Rabbits fer lunch and sinch coyotes work the night shift it's about lunch time. ::) ::)
Suddenly the coyotes and the crippled Jack Rabbit noisies are forgoten, for of to the east on the horizon are funny colored lights. There are red one, green ones and blue ones, they seem to go one way and then the other really fast. They dissapear below the horizon and then they come back up. They blink red, green and blue, red, green and blue, then blue green and red, blue green and red and then shift back.
Delmonico is rather amazed at this and has not got the slightest idea what is going on. ??? ??? ??? As the light breeze dies to nothin' Delmonico can hear a slight low pitch humming noise comin' from the direction of the lights. ??? ??? :o :o About this time Delmonico decides that he really don't like sittin' out on a hill by himself when there is such strange things goin' on around him. :o :o :o Sides that he decides he really ain't in the mood to be skinnin' coyotes by lantern light. ;D ;D ;D
He then heads back to the house and sees that everyone else has went to bed, so he undresses and turns out his lantern, not really thinkin' that it is that important that he needs to wake anyone else. But as he goes to bed he looks out and sees red, green, blue red, green, blue, blue, green red, blue, green, red dancin' around to the east. ;D As he falls asleep he can still hear a low hummin' noise. ;D
Delmonico wakes in the mornin' not sure if it was a dream or if it happened. ;D ;D ;D
He decides it must have been a weird dream caused by eatin' too much fish. ::) So he throws some cobs in the stove to get it going and starts making bacon and eggs for breakfast. ;)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother wanders downstairs and helps herself to a cup of coffee, adding some fresh cow's milk. Leaning against a counter, she watches Delmonico cook.
"I had the strangest dream last night. I dreamed that there was this big thing outside the window, shining red, green, and blue lights all over the place, but mostly in the east. I could even hear it humming. It was very bizarre."
Quote from: gophergrease on February 10, 2005, 07:20:47 PM
Do I get the $200.00, I don finded the monster?? ;D ;D ;D
Used moose poop for bait.
Here ya go.
(http://www.journalofantiques.com/images36/Paper-11a.JPG)
;D ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on February 10, 2005, 07:52:06 PM
Well that web site says they are there, if ya can't belive what ya Google up then what? :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
'But ya know if they see someone bringin' that big snake to the ranch they gonna send out the black hellycopters agaiiiin and they'll take Slim for questionin' again. ;D ;D ;D
Wonder if they probe him in them hellycopters like them UFO's do? :o :o :o
Oh well GG is makin' used fried fish, hushpuppies and onion rings fer supper. Who cares of the black hellycopter folks and the UFO folks are fightin' 'bout who gets to probe Slim first. :D
BTW, I think the FFg has hid herself in a Rat Hole. ::)
No probing please. ::)
Well Slim it was nice to know you.
When you get to Mars (or is it Pluto?) send a postcard ;D
Well that is strange I had the same dream, and what is weird is my window was up a crack this mornin' and I know it was closed. Another thing really weird is that I only used 2 of the 3 jars of the Vasoline makin' the Poodarine and the extra one was gone this mornin'. :o :o :o ::)
Very strange things gonin' on. ;)
When Duke hears about the lost Vaseline, he tucks his tail tightly against his treasures and hides under a table.
Slim walks into the kitchen with six pistols showing. He has more that are hid. "Dem flyin' lights ain't gonna carry me away without a fight." >:(
Duke scrambles out from under the table, and still with his tail tucked, tries to convince Slim to hide under the table with him.
"Duke, I ain't gonna hide. If theys comin' fer me they'll get lead." ;D ;D ;D
Yer all makin' a big thing about nuthin' them lights is most likey from methane gas from one of them bogs around here. Trinity was drinkin' again last night he most likley came in and got the Vasoline for some use around his still. :D
There surely ain't no reason to get excited over this. ::) ::) :o :o :o ;) If it ain't swamp gas what is it, weather balloons ain't been invented yet. ::) ::) 'Course I ain't seen Trinity this mornin' maybe his still blew up, that would make really weird lights. ;D ;D
"Dem giant black locust weren't invented yet either, but they carried me off ta Nevady." >:(
OK you convinced me, it was a weather ballooon. ;D ;D ;D 'Taint nuthin else it could be. ;D
"Could be one o' deez."
(http://www.cia.gov/csi/studies/97unclass/p69.gif)
"That looks like someone tossed one of my undecorated straw hats into the air."
It is a 1947 Buick hub cap, they figgered that one out long ago. ;D I ain't sckeeered of Buick hubcaps unless ya Frisbeee one inta the back of my head. ;D I like the one that is a chicken brooder better. There is an old one at the farm we used to play flying saucher in 40 years ago. ;D ;D
Oh no we are being attacked by chicken brooders, they releasing Buick hubcaps. ;D ;D ;D
There Aint nothin' to fear, it was either swamp gas or Trinity's still blew up. ;D
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on February 11, 2005, 12:23:55 PM
"Dem giant black locust weren't invented yet either, but they carried me off ta Nevady." >:(
Nevady ain't got dem dern locust. We got crickets. Know as Mormon crickets. No wings, but they can get enough of them to carry you off. They just do it on the ground.
"Dis the kind that carried me away." >:(
(http://www.radicalhippie.com/images/helicopter/blkhelicopter.jpg)
"That's a mean looking locust, Slim."
"Dats what I thought." :o
We gots them Morman Crickets around here and we gots then big black locusts like carried Slim off. The crickets live in my flower beds and the locusts live at the airport about 2 mile NE of here. I ain't skeered of either or Buick hub caps or chicken brooders or Annie Lee's skillet. ;D ;D
I am skeered of Trinity's still blowin' up. Thats why I keep him thinkin' he's got to hide it from me, keeps it a safe distance from the house. ;)
"Well, Slim is due to head back to Wisconsin to have that conjugal visit with his missus, so I'm a mite concerned that one of those locusts will come and get him again. Remember what happened last time he didn't show up at home, she showed up here and was angry."
"Now, I'z goin' to Wiscooooooooooooonsin, then pack the family (all 20 of 'em) in the wagon and head fer Arkansaw. I'll send ya a telegraph once in awhile ta let ya know if the giant locusts have carried me off."
"All right, but I'll still worry a little. Give the missus and kids a hug for me, and return safely!"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gives him a squeeze and a peck on the cheek.
(If you go through or near Blytheville Arkans-ass, give them the one finger salute for me, please? Gads, I nearly died there, in a spiritual sense. < Hugs > AnnieLee )
Be careful headin' east, I think Trinity blew up his still last night, that would explain the lights. Ya never know what kind of toxic residue there might be around that, ;D Remember Haz Mat crews ain't been invented yet. :o :o
As darkness falls, Delmonico fills himself up a cup of coffee and goes out to the porch before he starts supper. :) As he drinks a cup of Arbuckles Ariosa coffee he watchs Slim ride off to the east on his way to Wissyconsion. ;)
Delmonico heads in ta the kitchen after finishin' his coffee. ;D He looks in the ice box and the pantry, tryin' to decide what to fix. ;D
It's a fair evening for a change, so the Frumpy Fairy Godmother drapes an afghan over her shoulders and sits in her rocker on the porch to knit. After a bit, Duke comes out and rests at her feet. From time to time, they both look toward the east.
"It's strange, being here and not having to cook."
Finding some round steak in the ice box he gets that out to pound. In the pantry are a couple of cans of Ta'maters so those are brought to the kitchen. ;D "Well I ain't made ta 'mater steak in a long time, bet someday someone will give it a fancy name like Luxemberg Steak or even Swiss Steak, somethin' to make it sound fancier than what an ol' cosie would make." ::) ;D :D ;)
He throws some dried green peppers in a pan to simmer and get soft and heads to the root cellar to get some carrots and an onion. ;)
Will down in the cellar he notices that low pitch hummin' noise like last night and figgers Trinity is at it with his still again. ;D ;D
While Delmonico is downstairs, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother gives a sniff to the air, then creeps into the kitchen. Making sure the coast is clear, she feeds the green peppers to Duke, takes the pan off the fire and dashes back to her rocker.
Knowing what hppened to his peppers don't bother Delmonico cause he often leaves them out, he pounds the steak, flours it and browns it. It is put in a deep irun skillet with a lid.
The onions and carrots are peeled and chopped and put over the browned meat. A pinch of tyme and salt and pepper are added before the ta'maters are poured over top. It is then put in a medium oven to cook for a couple of hours. ;D
Trinity comes in the back door into the empty kitchen and his mouth starts to water at the smell of the beef cooking. When he glances over at Duke eating the peppers, he turns up his nose and mumbles something about peppers being only fit for animals before taking his jug and out to the front porch where he finds the FFG.
"Evenin' miss FFG. A might chilly tonight, huh? Mind if Ah set out here with ya? Ah ain' seen no one else, where is ever'body tonight?"
She notices his charred clothing and hair but decides not to say anything about it.
Her knitting needles clack together softly.
"Please join me, Trinity, I always enjoy your company. Smells like Delmonico is cooking another excellent meal." She grins a little as Duke belches his agreement.
Quote from: AnnieLee on February 11, 2005, 08:12:44 PM
Her knitting needles clack together softly.
"Please join me, Trinity, I always enjoy your company. Smells like Delmonico is cooking another excellent meal." She grins a little as Duke belches his agreement.
"Ah'd feel like that if Ah'd have eaten that stuff. Ah do feel sorry fer ya Duke"
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrumbl-owl!
The FFG flashes an angry stare at Duke.
"Oh, no maam. Don't be cross at Duke, that was mah stomach. Delmonico's cookin' done got mah stomach a-workin'. Whacha knittin' there Miss FFG?"
As the hummin' noise gets louder Delmonico comes out ta tha porch ta tell the FFg that supper is done. He looks suprised at Trinity and says, "If that noise ain't you blowin' up yer still, then what is it?" ??? ??? ???
Just then the noise gets a little louder and lights flashin' from red ta green ta blue and then blue ta gren and then red and cack and forth rise up in the east. :o :o The noise gets highr pitched and it rise up high. And with a loud whine it goes over the ranch house at a high rate of speed and vanishes in the west. ::) ::) ;)
Delmonico watches it go, shucks his shoulders and says, "I ain't got the slightest idea, but so what, lets eat." ;D ;D ;D ;D
"It's a scarf, Triniteeeeeeee....." Her voice dwindles away as Delmonico steps out on the porch, then she sees the object with the flashing lights whiz by overhead.
"I don't think I just dreamed that."
"Red and green? Well, Delmonico," Trinity chuckles "that'd be a christmas tree with flashin' lights!"
A man in a black suit runs from the woods and whispers something in Trinity's ears.
"Uh,... uh,... Ah mean if'n there wuz such a thing." ;D ;D ;D ;D
GG drags his fancy fast shootn iron (last seen on page 4 of this thread) from the old dugout. Asks Trinity to get both them cases of ammo, and give him a hand seting it up. Then he asks Miss FFg if he can put it up in her room, that way if that thing with the flashy lights comes back we can find out if it something fit to eat. GG even offers to let miss FFg sleep in his room and he'll set up in hers, just incase.
Her eyes still wide, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother nods her agreement.
"Go ahead and use the cupola, Gophergrease, I'll sleep on the sofa downstairs. Duke will watch over me."
4,000 rounds of 50-120 will help keep us all safe.
Suddenly Slim,s horse comes runnin' up to the house with out a saddle. ::) Delmonico looks and sees no blood. "Someone put his horse in the barn, go ahead and finsh supper, I'm gonna take my 76 Winchester , the 50-100 and a lantern and see what happened to Slim and his saddle." :o :o :o ;)
"I think there is fowl play a foot, most likely the chickens got him. that might not be swamp gas, it could be chicken poop gas." ;D ;D ;D
"if I ain't back by daylight, have breakfast with out me." ;D
Trinity carries the ammo for Gophergrease to the FFG's room. "Gophergrease, just why did you want to set up in Miss FFG's room in particular? ... you ain' makin' moves on her, are you?
Say, if Delmonico ain't back by tomorrow... what are you going to make fer breakfast?"
I was thinkn that her room sets atop the house, with windows on all sides. That way no mater what way that thing comes from, I'll get a shot at it.
As for breakfast, maybe we'll have some waffles. just got a new Iron and like to try it. Could have some eggs and bacon with them.
On her way to take care of Slim's horse, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother stops to admire Gophergrease's firearm.
"Ohhhhhhh that is one nice WartHog. But please put the ammo on the floor? I didn't have time to cover up the bed."
And then she is off, leading Slim's horse away.
i'll cover your bed and other things. this criter has a habit of spiting emptys every place.
Delmonico comes back, "I followed Slim's tracks about 5 miles east of here, they ended in a little valley about a mile beyond the gully where you hid yer still Trinity. ;D What I found was horrible, Slim's saddle had been mutilated, it was weird, the tree was removed through a little hole. ::)
Any way there was 4 big round circles about 6 foot in diameter where the grass was smashed down. The rest of the grass was slightly scorched and there was a faint glow. There was no sign of Slim, but I did find my extra jar of Vasoline, it was empty. :o :o :o :D ;D :D ;)
I remember now, the last time I was in North Platte, I was getting groceries and was waitin' at that new-fangled cash registar and I was readin' a paper there on a rack while I was in line. ::) ;) It was full of weird things, but I remember it had a story about somethin' like this happenin' some where down in New Mexico. ::) ;D :D ;) Should have bought it, we might have a better ideal what happened to Slim, that empty jar of Vasoline worries me. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;)
Oh one other thing, it smelled slightly of fried eggs. ::) ::) ;)
Hey, if you got the new waffle iron go ahead and make waffles, hollor at me and I'll make the eggs and I got some of my country sausage in the icebox, just like that stuff we ate the day I drowned (almost) in my soogun. ::) ::) I got some of that elderberry syrup in the cellar yet. We still have some of that good Wissconsion butter that Slim brings us, but if he's gettin' probed he might not bring us any for a while. ;D ;D ;D ;D
Anyway what ever it is most likey will be happy with 1 speciman to study. ;D ;D Wonder if they are keepin' him in a giant Mason Jar. ;D ;D ;D I hope they punch a few holes in the lid. ::) ::) ::) Ya don't think they'd put a giant pin through him and put him on a giant piece of card board do you? :o :o
Anyway hollor when yer ready to start breakfast, dern this might be the last of the brown eggs also. ;D ;D We're also low on cheese. :D :D :D :D
There is a small gong type sound and at the same time, Delmonico gets the strong feeling of the impact of a skillet against the back of his head. While there's no one to be seen, there is a small voice that sounds a lot like AnnieLee's: Stop that, yer scaring the Frumpy Fairy Godmother!"
Tain't my fault it's all Slim's fault, he's the one that done got himself ab-ducted and probed. ;D
Quote from: gophergrease on February 11, 2005, 11:16:19 PM
I was thinkn that her room sets atop the house, with windows on all sides. That way no mater what way that thing comes from, I'll get a shot at it.
As for breakfast, maybe we'll have some waffles. just got a new Iron and like to try it. Could have some eggs and bacon with them.
"DERN!!! Who done went and stuck Miss FFG in the attic? Or do we live in a laht-house?"
Quote from: Delmonico on February 12, 2005, 12:10:45 AM
Delmonico comes back, "I followed Slim's tracks about 5 miles east of here, they ended in a little valley about a mile beyond the gully where you hid yer still Trinity. ...
"Dang. Decoy number one found. Ah wonder if ole Slim thought that was mah real still and stopped fer a nip afore he was taken. ??? Ah hope he di'nt drink out of them green bottles..."
Delmonico looks over the new posts and says"Tinity ya must of missed the part about the house havin' a cupalo. The FFg's room is an octy-gone cupalo."
Quote from: Delmonico on February 12, 2005, 12:21:30 PM
Delmonico looks over the new posts and says"Tinity ya must of missed the part about the house havin' a cupalo. The FFg's room is an octy-gone cupalo."
Trinity scratches his head...
Flicks the louse away and wonders to himself "So thaaaaaats what a cupalo thing is, hmmm."
Trinity steps up to the house after a long day of hard work at the still. The first thing he noticed was the lack of smells from the kitchen. He heads there first. "Delmonico, Gophergrease, what's fer dinner?? Ah don' smell nothin'." He finds no one is there and nothing has been prepared. He then searches the entire house and still can't find anyone.
Trinity feels very lonesome and screams out "WHERE IS EVER'BODY? ? ? ?" You see, if the TV had yet been invented or better still, the computer, Trinity wouldn't need anybody.
"Ok, lets hide in the cellar a little longer, it will drive him nuts in a few minutes." ;D ;D
Trinity stands alone in the kitchen.
He lifts one arm and smells... "naaahhh, kaint be"
Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, as Delmonico comes out from behind the cellar door. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ::)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother comes out of the basement to thwap Delmonico on the back of his head.
"Shame on you, luring me down there by telling me you had a clue to find Slim! There wasn't any clue, you were just tricking Trinity!"
With a "humph" of disgust, she hugs Trinity and moves to her chair by the fire.
Trinty gasps and runs out of the house. He was in the middle of the yard outside the kitchen before his brain caught up with him and he finally realized that it was Delmonico.
Trinity returns to the house and find Delmonico doubled over in laughter "That weren't nice, Delmonico, mah heart is still racing. Ah need a drink!"
A disembodied voice says, "Y'all are having too much fun."
Trinity, who is quite used to hearing voices slurrs something unintelligible back. "shhrzz ffffffffff, shrrd frrrrfffshrz!"
Since the last post, someone has been drinking.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother slowly draws her wand and glares at Delmonico.
"I know Slim's still alive, I just heard him! Now are you going to go rescue him or not??"
Ok, I'll have them bring him back, but it has to be dark for the proper effect. ;D ;D
Sides that I have a task for him to do with that big shotgun of his. ::) ::) ::)
Trinity drags out of his bedroom mumbling something about lighthouses when he sees Delmonico. "When are we gonna res-kew ole Slim? Ah'll bet he is plumb tard of them aliennes or whatever you was callin' them.
<<whisper on>>...An, Delmonico, if'n it's true what you said they was doin' to him... well, we need to res-kew him as fast as we can, but I don' know if Ah can look him in the eyes no more ??? <<whisper off>>
Afore we go, what's fer dinner, Ah done had a bad batch last night and have the worst hangover ever! Because of that, Ah ain' had nothin' ta eat all day. ;D ;D
In the distance they all hear a whinny and a slow steady creaking and squeeking noise. They look out the window and see a feller on a buckboard pulling what looks to be a variation on the design of a civil war mortar.
Trinity runs to get his rifle and returns to the window to peer at the coming visitor. "Can anybody see what color he's wearin'??!??"
Just what we needed anuther big gun. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
love the BOOOOOOOOOM ;D ;D :D
It dont mater none, he gots a big shooter so ya have to be nice to the man.
At least till you can talk him out of his toy. :D :D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother glides out on the porch. She squints at the stranger, then lifts her hand in a wave.
"Evening. Something we can do for you?"
Trinity watches the FFG and noting her approval, he eases the hammer down and runs to his room to grab a jug. He steps out on the porch next to the FFG's side and holds the jug high "Thirsty stranger?"
(He was thinking the same thing as Gophergrease ;D ;D ;D)
Delmonico sets another plate at the table, "Come on in we're havin' saurbraten, boiled taters and pumpernickle bread." As they all sit down at the table there is a quick, low rumbling noise, a flash of red. green and blue lights going red, green blue and then blue, grean and red. ;D ;D ::) :D
In less than a minute it is over and gone. They all go out to the porch and there in the yard is Slim. :o ;D :D Delmonico looks at him and says, "Supper is gettin' cold, go wash up and get all that vasoline off ya, I don't want ya slippin' out of yer chair and droppin' yer fork." :o :o :o :P :P :P :P :P ;D :D ;)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother doesn't care if Slim is covered in Vaseline, she is off the porch and down the steps in a flash of blue, cream, and white, and sweeps him up in a hug, smooching his check.
"You're SAFE!"
:D ;D
"Thanks, FFg, it's good ta be back. Don't ask me what happened, please. I'll go wash up. I'm a bit hungry."
"Welcome back Slim, now that had to be bad, but you know it could have been worse. At least they didn't come in the summer and make no geo-metrick de-signs in our corn field. ::) ::) ::) The really raises heck with the yield per acre."
"Hopefully they didn't mutilate any of our cattle this time either, that's what that wierd newspaper i read at the grocery check out said these folks in these flyin' contraptions do."
"Well anyway rest up the rest of the week, I got a project for you and that 10 gauge of yers, but the next week or so will be better. I got to dig up a recipe anyway."
"Thanks fer the great supper, Del. I'z gonna hit the hay. See y'all inthe morn." Slim goes to his room and bolts the door.
Howdy, y'all. I am a might starved. Do 'ya gets them flashy light thingys 'round these parts often? If'n 'ya does then it looks like I'm in the right place.
"Naw, there is a lot of strange things happen around here, but they keep being different." ::) ::) ::) ;D
"If'n ya go back to page one, yew'll see ve even bounched in and out a Wyoming and Kasas till we decided ta settle here. ;D "One reason we settled here is that it is closer to Wissyconsion fer Slim ta ride back on the weekends.." ::) ::) ::)
"It was very considerate of the other pards to settle here so I can visit the family on weekends." ;D ;D ;D
It takes three changes of bathwater for the Frumpy Fairy Godmother to get the vaseline off her skin and out of her hair, but she doesn't mind, she's still grinning. Looks like her clothing will be "waterproof" for a little while.
It's nice to have her cupola back, too, so she sleeps well and is almost annoyingly cheerful in the morning. Not saying Slim is her favorite, but still...
:D
"Slim when ya come back next week would you bring another jar of vasoline, yer friends used up the jar I had. It is really good to use on the leathers for the well pumps." ::) ::) ;D :D ;)
Quote from: Ornery Orr on February 16, 2005, 06:22:11 AM
Howdy, y'all. I am a might starved. Do 'ya gets them flashy light thingys 'round these parts often? If'n 'ya does then it looks like I'm in the right place.
Hmmm. Just how am I to understand this? Are you sayin' that Delmonico should make sure to have LOTS of petroleum jelly on hand?
"Humph. I like to be clean and to smell nice, even if the pumps work harder."
She stops by the sitting Trinity to pick a louse from his scalp. "We gotta do something about that," and she flicks the critter out the window.
"Oh, thank you, miss FFG! That one was botherin' me. ...Uh, it ain' time fer another bath though and please don' say nothin' to Delmonico. He'll slip somethin' to me that'll make me lose mah hair fer sure!!"
"Well, maybe Gophergrease will have something you can put in your hair that will drive them out or suffocate them. The things will get in your soogun or bedding, Trinity, and next thing you know, you'll have the crawlies in your ..." She pauses for a moment, trying to think of the appropriate word. If she says "privates," Trinity might take that to mean an Army soldier and he's not in the Army, so he wouldn't care about that. If she says "groin," he might take that to mean "going" and if he thinks the critters are going, he'll be happy. She isn't sure if he even knows the meaning of the word "pubic." Finally, after a long pause and a sigh, she says: "They'll get in your crotch."
"Naw, they ain' made me crotchety none, that's someone else around here." Trinity thinks that them folk from Virginney talk funny.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother takes a long breath and releases it slowly.
"No, I don't mean Delmonico, though if they crawl far enough they could get on him, too. I mean... "
Again, there is that long pause and she bows her head, thinking. How can she describe that place and remain a somewhat modest woman? She can't say "testicles," she isn't sure if he knows what that means, and it would be too embarassing. The word "penis" is out of the question, along with all its euphemisms. She definitely can't point to the area.
Then her head comes up with a snap as she has an idea.
"You could get them where the poop comes out of you, and all around there!"
She looks to him, hoping that using Delmonico's language will get Trinity to understand.
"I think the cure fer lice is coal oil. If that don't work, add a match and dem lice won't have a place ta hide." ;D
"Thats what I recomend is ta use coal oil, I gots us a barrel of it out in tha tool shed. If'n ya decide ta stike a lucifer ta his head, kkep him away from the house, the full barrel a coal oil and tall grass." ;D
Delmonico thinks a bit, "Take him to a blow-out ta do it, but make sure there ain't none of them endangered penstoms in it first. Ya know what happened last time ya messed with them." :o :o
"Yep, Don't need those black giant locusts comin' back." :o
"By the by, I ain't gettin' ya any of that vaseline. I don't ever what ta see that stuff again." >:(
Ornery Orr looks back and forth at these folks and tries to follow their conversation. The lady looks like she just had a bath, and the feller on the porch in front of her looks like he ain't had one in a month. The two cooks look normal enough except that one of them is wielding a wooden spoon that more closely resembles a Pawnee war club.
"I was talking about that thing that has been leaving the markings in the field. You know, that thing that just flew over us." "I've got me a little tool here that I think can help us get one 'o them things out of the sky. I call it Hellfire."
"I'll hep ya load Hellfire. I'z in the mood fer revenge." >:(
Come on Slim, I'll show 'ya how this works. First, we pack 'er full of powder, (Ornery dumps about a pound of Black Powder into the tube). Then we drop this little baby on top. This is what I call an airburst canister. Inside of this little baby I've packed a canister of 2 pounds of Black Powder surrounded by another canister of surplus .68 caliber musket balls. The first charge will propel the airburst about two to three hundred feet into the air, the internal fuse burns down in the charge then WHAMMY!!
"WOW! That sounds like lots of fun! Now, where's that flyin' plate?" ;D
I think they went to fetch more vasoline. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
"Let's load up Hellfire." >:(
Ornery looks at Slim and replies, "We just did and we ain't shot it yet! You sure are an eager sort, ain't 'ya?" "What we need to do now is lure them back over here so we can get a shot." "We'll need a decoy." Everybody turns and starts looking at Slim. ;)
"Not me! We can use some beeves and sheep." ;D ;D
Disclaimer: The sheep on this ranch are the sole propery of Silver Creek Slim and not other owners or personel on "The Ranch With No Name" have any claim or ownership of these filthy beasts. In fact we make Slim keep them at least 10 miles from the house at all time. ;D
"DON'T AIM IT AT THE HOUSE!!!"
And with that, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother goes off to get some leather gloves and the coal tar.
If', they hit the house and destroy my fancy Wegewood flushing water closet and the matchin' China dishes i'm goona shoot them both and put their bodies in a barrel of sourdough. Won't find nothin after a few days. ;D ;D :o
"I wouldn't dream of damaging yer Wedgewood. By the by, I don't remember why I got dem sheep." ???
I had nothin' to do with no sheep, maybe the hogs, but not no sheep. ;D
I'll have ta check back in the story line ta find out.
Suddenly in the distance, there was heard a faint whistling noise. Ornery readied hellfire with a lucifer in one hand and his left ear in the other, one eye squinted shut and the other open, he scanned the skies for the target. He hollered to Slim, "Here it comes, run out in the open and see if you can get them to hover over the barnyard. When you hear the WHOOOMP, give yerself 3 seconds then hit the dirt and cover 'yer head.
"Okay, I'z game." Slim runs out into the open of the barnyard hoping that Hellfire does the job.
As the disc shaped object approached within range, Ornery lit the lucifer. The saucer started to slow as it neared the barnyard. Ornery lit the fuse and went to the ground. WHOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMPPPP!!!!! Slim was counting to himself, "One one thousand, Two one thousand, Three one thousand." Then he hit the dirt. There was a godawful explosion in the vicinity of the contraption then the sound of moving parts coming unhinged from their mountings. The craft slowly started away from the farm and was about 400 yards away when there was this thundering rifle shot from the cupolo. Everybody looked up at the window to see Gophergrease and the 50-120 poking out through the window. They glanced back towards the horizon to see the ship trailing smoke and nosing over as it lost altitude and crashed resulting in a fiery cloud of dirt and debris billowing into a mushroom cloud. Within seconds the concussion of the blast hit them along with a blast of hot wind and pelting grains of sand that stung like little daggers. When the dust settled, Ornery sits up, looks up at Gophergrease and says, "Loadin' them things a mite hot don't you think?" ;D
"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw! Revenge is sweet!" ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D Slim does a little jig in the barnyard.
Ornery picks himself up off the ground, dusts himself off and starts to load hellfire back into the buckboard. "Looks like my work here is done, guess I'll be movin' on."
Gloved hands full of coil oil that she is working into Trinity's hair, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother watches in awe.
"Please stay, Mister, least we can do is feed you."
(OO, please check your PMs?)
Delmonico comes out as the feller in the yaller shirt rides away. "Fer some reason I keep thinkin' I've seen that yaller shirt some where before." ;D ;D ::) ;) ;) ;)
:o :o :o :o
Trinity sits silently but wide eyed and unblinking in front of Miss FFG as she ministers to his head. Not a peep has come from his mouth since she said: "You could get them where the poop comes out of you, and all around there!"
Not even the great explosion in the yard and demise of the strange hovering craft could snap him out of his trance.
Now Miss FFg if'n ya decide ta light Trinity off, take him to that blow-out over west a the house. Don't want no prairie fires burnin' across a hundred miles a country. :o :o ::) ;D
Trinity snaps out of his trance and jerks his attention over to Delmonico.
With Trinity's hair and scalp covered in the goop, she hands him the tin can with the remainders of the coal tar.
"If you have the crawlies in that other place, it's best you put the stuff on it. And if you do have them there, you'd better get rid of them if you want the women in the wagon to welcome you back. And if they get too bad, if you don't take care of them NOW, the next time, we will light both places on fire."
With that dire warning, she strips off the leather gloves and heads inside to wash her hands.
Trinity remains seated, eyes still wide open, staring straight ahead.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother yells back, over her shoulder:
"Do it, Trinity, or I'll have Delmonico put it on there for you, and I doubt he'd be gentle!"
Delmonico comes outside with a box of shotgun shells. Coal tar is clearly written on the box. :o ::) :P ;D :D ;)
Trinity follows The FFG's orders and after he's finished he bathes himself (!) and leaves the house. Still greatly embarassed that a LADY would talk about his "areas", he avoids her and shouts just before he leaves: "Thankee much Miss FFG! Ah shore do 'preciate yer takin' care of me! You's just about the kindest lady Ah know. Ah also thank ya fer remindin' me of them ladies. It's just about time Ah go visit them, Ah'll bet they be wonderin' where Ah am!" Trinity tilts his head back and empties his jug down his thoat then throws it in the grass. He then mounts his horse in a fancy manner and rides off.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother's face falls as she hears Trinity, and saddened, she watches him ride away.
"Oh, no, I've run him off. I should have kept my mouth shut."
:-[
Delmonico watches Trinity ride off, thankful that the hootch he's brewin' to sell in the Black Hills will now be much cleaner. ;D
She turns to look at Delmonico. "He will be back, won't he?"
Trinity returns home and falls off of his horse, pulls himself up and drags into the house to his bedroom. His hair is in disarray and his clothing is disheveled. His hat and one of his boots are missing.
Delmonico comes in the back door to the kitchen, he see's a hung over Trinity eatin' a can of cold Van' de Camps pork and beans. Well ya should have not dissapeared, we all went to Ioway fer the weekend. Me and Gopher Grease was there, the FFg was there with some young fella, Slim was there with Mrs. Slim and the little Slimss and that fella with that big gun was there. ;)
And all cause you left after the FFg got ya all cleaned up ya missed it. ::) ;D
Slim walks into the kitchen. "I'z back from droppin' off the family in Wiscooooooooooooooonsin. Trinity, ya should've gone with us ta Ioway. A good time was had by all." ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother jerks awake, kinda like a marionette whose puppeteer just got home from a trip to Eye-oh-way.
"Huh? Trinity's back? Good!"
Then she sees him and tsks.
(Hee hee hee! :D )
Trinity sits at the breakfast table wearing no shirt and is still missing a boot. Very happy to see them return but still very Sluggish, he says: "Well, welcome back, folks! If'n Ah'd knowed that ya was goin ta Eye-oer, Ah'd not have left!"
Trinity thinks about his time at the waggon.... "Least ways Ah'd not have been gone so long"
...Trinity thinks some more. "Oh well, Ah wouldn't have been able to make it anyways" Trinity smiles to himself... then grimaces in pain... then smiles again. ;D ;D
Trinity lifts his head from the table. "Musta passed out! Hmm" He looks around and finds he is alone. "Wonder whar ever'body went. ??? ??? ??? "
Delmonico comes out of the kitchen with a steaming bowl, "Here Trinity, run this chicken noodle soup up to the FFg's room, she has a bad cold. then help yerself to some."
When Trinity knocks, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother peeks out from under the covers, then sits up. Calling him into her room, she takes the soup gratefully, with a sneeze.
"Thank you, Trinity, I am glad you came home."
Delmonico sits down with a bowl of his chicken and noodle and decides that he is hungary for another bird. Somthing besides chicken though, Slim might be upset when he goes out to gather eggs tommorow and finds one missing. ;D
Looking at the calender he sees it is now time. Only twice a year is there a chance to have such a treat and Slim has a 10 gauge he is just dieing to shoot. ;D Hum, might have to just send him, heck it's only 75-100 miles. ??? ;D ;D ;)
Slim comes into the kitchen from gatherin' eggs. "Coyote musta got a hen in the night. There's feathers all 'round and one's missin'." ???
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother wanders downstairs, her silk kimono robe tied tightly around her. She looks a tad wan and pale.
"Would it be all right if I had more chicken soup for breakfast?"
"Chicken soup! :o Del, where did ya get that chicken fer the soup?" >:(
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother's eyes widen and she places her bowl in the sink, looking to make a hasty retreat.
"It was an errond of mercy that got yer chicken. 'Sides that ya should have got a rooster and ya could have increased the flock, am I gonna have to 'splain things ta ya?" ::) ::) :D ;)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother brightens a touch." Oh, if we got a rooster, I could dye its feathers and make a new hatband!"
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on January 31, 2005, 01:30:53 PM
"Try'n ta wear out some boots ta put on more fence posts." :P "By the by, I brought some brown lay'n hen and a rooster so'z we can have our own eggs. I also brought a mik cow so'z we can have fresh milk and butter. I'll go put 'em away."
;D ;D ;D ;D
Delmonico scratches his head and thinks, "Hummm, now I do remember a rooster round here."
Delmonico heads upstairs and comes back down in a few minutes. "Slim yer rooster and Trinity are passed out up there in Trinity's room. I guess Trinity found him a drinkin' partner." ;D ;D
"If Trinity keeps drinkin' wit da rooster, we ain't gonna get any new chickens ta replace the ones ya put in the pot." >:(
"Or maybe the hens will lay eggs with cross-eyed double yolks." The Frumpy Fairy Godmother starts to laugh, but ends up coughing.
"Well when Trinity and the rooster wake up, send the rooster back to the chicken house."
"Slim ya want to shoot somethin' with that 10 gauge of yer's? I got a recipe I been wantin' to try, but I need the fixin's and it's time now or we'll have to wait till fall."
"Sure, but will someone come ta take me to the pokey after I shoot it?" ::)
"They didn't take Custer, he shot one in '73 in the Black Hills." ;D ;D ;D
"Okay, what is it and where is it?"
"Down by the Plattee 'ween Grand Island and Kearney. It's a big white bird with long legs and even longer wings."
(http://www.ngpc.state.ne.us/wildlife/guides/birds/images/large/22.jpg)
"Dis one?"
"Dat looks like it, get us a couple of dem and I'll roast them and we'll WHOOP it up and have a party." ::) ::) :D ;)
"I'll make a cornbread stuffin', we'll make noodle soup out a tha left overs."
"Did someone say party?" Trinity walks into the kitchen (still shy one boot) with the drunken rooster zig-zagging behind him.
"What's the meaning of this note? Why does the rooster have to quit drinking??" At that, the rooster makes a screeching sound and jerks his head up.
As Duke starts to bark at the drunken Rooster, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother swoops down, scooping up the errant fowl and holding it by its legs.
It raises a ruckus, flapping and squawking, while Duke continues to bark and jump around the pair.
"Oh, calm down, I'm just taking you to your equivalent of Trinity's wagon ladies!" The Frumpy Fairy Godmother scolds the rooster.
At that, the rooster suddenly falls silent and a strange smile forms on his beak.
"Well... Thar goes Cletus, mah best drinkin' buddy 'round here!" Trinity thinks... "Oh well, he's in fer much better!!!"
"Ya feeling better, Miss FFG? Mebbe ya need some of ma great-granny's remedy. Ah'll go get a jug!"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother comes back in to wash her hands.
"You say his name is Cletis? Well, he sure took off to the hen house in a hurry. Aye, perhaps a swallow of the brew, it might help my nose."
In the morning, Delmonico finds the Frumpy Fairy Godmother staring at the fancy Wegewood commode.
"Delmonico?" She asks as she feels him near, "where does the water go when I flush it?"
Well here in this simpler time it is easy, it has a pipe than slopes down to the Dismal River, Just like they do the Hudson in New York or the Thames in London. Course with the fact that their ain't nobody around but us, the river is quite capable of handling it with no problems, unlike the Hudson or the Thames. :o :o
"Ohhhh. So, once it gets warmer, if I feel like going for a dip, I have to make sure I do it upstream of the pipe, yes?"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother nods her head in understanding.
Miss, you may also what to make sure of the location of the herd before taking your swim.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gives Gopher Grease a warm smile.
"Aye, Delmonico taught me that one."
He all way says to "get the coffe water upstream from the herd", didnt think he cared where you mite swim.
"Well, he may not care, but I do! So I swim where he gets the coffee water. But don't tell him." She grins with a wink, standing right next to Delmonico.
Quote from: AnnieLee on February 23, 2005, 10:07:43 PM
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother comes back in to wash her hands.
"You say his name is Cletis? Well, he sure took off to the hen house in a hurry. Aye, perhaps a swallow of the brew, it might help my nose."
Trinity reviews his post and looks at his unfortunate spelling of Cletus and decides that it must be changed. Redfaced, he wonders what was going on in his mind at the time of posting.
Quote from: Delmonico on February 24, 2005, 04:51:24 PM
Well here in this simpler time it is easy, it has a pipe than slopes down to the Dismal River, Just like they do the Hudson in New York or the Thames in London. Course with the fact that their ain't nobody around but us, the river is quite capable of handling it with no problems, unlike the Hudson or the Thames. :o :o
Trinity begins to think about one of his water sources for his still. ... ... "aw heck, ain' nothin bad livin' in them bottles what don't give it a characteristic flavor"
Then Trinity begins to wonder if he aught to quit eating corn. He now understands how it has been getting into the copper tubing and stopping the whole works up!
( AnnieLee is suddenly very glad that the Frumpy Fairy Godmother can't read minds. :o :o )
(Trinity's alter-ego "the Author" sidles up to AnnieLee and says: It's a dark place, a very darrrrk place... but not that bad once you've been here for a while! :o ;D ;D ;D)
( AnnieLee whispers to "The Author": Corn. That's sick, and disgusting, and too funny for words. That mind is not only dark, it's twisted. :D ;D :D)
(Sometimes when I forget my medication... my mind does strange things ;D ;D ;D )
( Dang, maybe I'd better get some meds, so I'd have an excuse, too! ;D Meanwhile, I have this fantastic mental image: There's the Frumpy Fairy Godmother, GopherGrease, Delmonico, and Trinity, all standing around a toilet and looking into the bowl, pondering. )
(I can already hear Delmonico screaming about the misuse of his fancy "bowl"! ;D ;D ;D I can see him ordering everyone out of the bathroom and installing a lock to which he has the only key (sent off for it and had it delivered by express pony, of course.). Then Delmonico shuts himself into is room and devises some elaborate scheme which involves castor oil, rabbit fur, vaseline and super glue to get even with us. :o :o ??? ??? )
(Ack! Stop that, you'll give him ideas! He's been well behaved for a week now. Who knows what is cooking in his devious mind?)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gives a small cough, interrupting her reverie, then speaks in a soft voice. "You know, that bowl looks more like something you'd serve food in than put... " She gives a quick look to Trinity and catches herself before she says the "P" word, "errr... the other stuff in."
"Ah ain' used this contraption yet. Mah pappy tole me ta never trust no holes that weren't dug by mah ownself. They ain' no tellin' what kind of critter might come out of that little hole there. Ah always go with the shovel to tha pasture yonder." Trinity points out the open frosted window to the field where Slim's milk cow is kept.
So, that way that grass is still so green.
By the way we are haveing Corn Chowder and Corn Bread for supper tonite.
Later we can have them Chocolate, Peanut clusters that are cooling.
Quote from: gophergrease on February 26, 2005, 09:53:04 PM
So, that way that grass is still so green.
By the way we are haveing Corn Chowder and Corn Bread for supper tonite.
Later we can have them Chocolate, Peanut clusters that are cooling.
Trinity becomes excited: "Oh boy! Ah love me some Chawk-lit! Ah better not eat too much, though... otherwise there won' be no need fer the shovel tonight."
Delmonico comes in after out runnin' erronds. "Go ahead and eat all ya want, I got's plenty of castor oil." ;D ;D ;D
Trinity takes two peices of chocolate and peanut clusters and politely eats them. When no one is looking he shoves five more into his pocket and goes to bed.
"Ah ain' gonna have none of Delmonico's castor earl!" he wispers adamantly to himself.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother openly eats three of the chocolate and peanut delights.
"Now I won't need the castor oil!"
She pauses a moment, then her voice is barely audible.
"Then again, I'd better get Trinity's shovel after all that corn. I don't want to mess up that pretty bowl."
Knowing someone will go down by the pipe, Delmonico takes 5 bushels of shelled corn and scatters itall over the bank, down river from the pipe. ;D ;D ;D
Morning comes and we find the Frumpy Fairy Godmother down by the creek, carrying Trinity's shovel. She pauses on seeing the pipe, and the corn. ALL the corn. Some of the five bushels had been carried away during the night by various critters, but enough is left to make her eyes bulge and she moves away, quickly.
Meanwhile Delmonico has went to the pantry and has gotten every can of corn out and has it stacked in the kitchen on the shelf. 100 cans of corns on a shelf, 100 cans of corn,
I take one down and pass around,
99 cans of corn. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Slim walks into the kitchen. "98 cans of corn on the shelf..." ;D ;D ;D
Duke wanders in, puts his paws on the table, picks up a can with his mouth and drops down the floor:
"wuffwu wuffwu wuff wu wu wuff wu woof."
Trinity walks into the kitchen and sees the stack of corn cans and Duke with a can in his mouth. "Don' mind if Ah do, ole buddy" Trinity starts to hum, then sings out loud "96 cans of corn on the shelf..."
With that, he opens the can and downs the contents as if it were recipe.
Delmonico goes out and hides Trinity's shovel cause he knows that Slim's chickens will love it. :P :P :P :P :D
Coming back to the house, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother is startled when Delmonico snatches the shovel out of her hand and runs away with it. Shaking her head, she gives him a look, then enters the house to see a stack of cans of corn and Trinity guzzling from one of the cans.
"What the....?"
Trinity looks up, mortified, at the FFG. He starts to formulate an excuse when suddenly his stomach begins to rumble. Trinity jumps up and runs past the FFG out of the house. Just a short while later Trinity can be heard screaming into the house: "Anybody done seen mah shovel??"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother steps quickly to the door and yells back:
"Delmonico took it!! I think he had to go, too!"
Trinity couldn't wait to hear the reply. He was already in the pasture spreading ... uh... corn.
Before running out to the pasture, Trinity had thought to grab the well worn and dog-eared Mongomery Ward order by mail catalog. Something about the hand-drawn images of women in corsets fascinated him. ::)
(Once again, AnnieLee, who is very fond of her corsets, is glad that the Frumpy Fairy Godmother cannot read minds. :P )
Delmonico comes in the kitchen, "I think sSim's chickens are gonna produce an excess of eggs here real soon, how do you want yer eggs cooked in the mornin'."
"My chickens don't care where corn has been 'fore they get it." ;D ;D ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother looks at Slim, then at Delmonico, then back to Slim, her eyes huge with a horrified expression, then she, too, runs out of the house.
"Aiggs??" Trinity steps into the kitchen. "Kin ah have me ..oh, bout eight lookin' back at me, please? Am Ah mistaken to guess that there'll be ham an' bacon and sausage an steak an taters to go with this?
Where'd Miss FFG go to in such a rush?"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gets a hammer, a few boards, some nails, and some wire, then heads down to the pipe outlet. Tucking the hem of her skirts up around her waist, she wades into the Dismal. She hammers and bends wire, and hammers some more, until she has built a chicken proof cage around the outlet.
"I like eggs, but I am not gonna eat my own poop!" She shudders so hard her hems fall loose, dropping into the water and causing her to grumble.
Trinity finds the FFG at the poop pipe. Listening to her grumble, he speaks up: "Awww come on, Miss FFG. Ya ain' got no problems 'lessn ya like the liver an even then, ya probly ain' got nothin' to worry about"
Suddenly Trinity's eyes open wide and a look of joy spreads over his face. "Look" He shouts before thrusting his hand into the smelly muck and bringing out a golden ring. He trys each of his fingers it slips onto his pinky. Then he wipes his hand on his shirt and holds it up to the FFG for inspection. "Look what ah done found!"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother stares and her mouth moves, but no sound comes out for a few moments. When she finally manages to speak, her voice is more of a soft squeak:
"Oh, please don't tell me you swallowed your mother's wedding ring when you were a child and it only recently came out."
Delmonico comes done and looks at what is goin' on. "Mis FFg Maam, the whole of life is an enternal circle, everyone is eatin' somethin' elses poop, poop makes the plants grow, animal and people eat plants they poop. If the chickens don't eat it, the plants will, cows eat the grass, we eat the cow, the grass ate the deer poop, the deer ate the plant that ate the coon poop, the coon ate the berries that ate the bird poop, the bird ate the sumac seed that ate the mouse poop, the mouse at something that ate something elses poop and it's just a never ending cycle of poop." ;D ;D ::) ::) :P :D ;)
As Delmonico finishes talkin' he turns and sees Trinity slip a small gold ring on his finger and dissapear from sight. :o :o :o ;D :D ;) As he dissapears he notices that Trinity is bare foot and has long hair on his toes. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
"I know that life is a never ending cycle of poop, Delmonico," the Frumpy Fairy Godmother recovers her voice, "I understand about how it feeds the grass and plants, which feeds the cows and birds and other critters. I don't mind that. I just want a few steps in the middle there, so it's not me, chickens, then me again. Hey, where did Trinity go??"
"I don't know he was here a minute ago, looked like he had a ring, then he was gone. You don't think the chickens ate him do you?" :P "If they did I ain't gonna eat no more eggs, can you imagine cracking an egg to fry and inside instead of a chick, there's a little Trinity." ::)
:o :o :o :o :o
Sounds like you may get a visit from of FFG's cohorts!
Tall fellow, in a gray cloak, tall pointy hat with a wide brim, long gray hair and beard.
Carries a staff and likes to sign things with a funny "G".
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother falls silent once more, completely distracted with trying to conjure the mental image of a baby Trinity inside a cracked egg.
Me looked things over I think an orc with a red beard is spying on us, bet he wants Trinity's ring for his master.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother's head snaps up at the mention of an Orc, and she looks over Delmonico's shoulder.
"No, that's just Chauncey. He's ok."
She gives a shooing motion with her hand. The Orc doesn't move. She glares and brandishes her wand and the Orc snorts before walking away.
"Isn't the brightest lamp on the wall, though."
No, scroll back, he's in an Avatar, he was lookin' didn't say nuthing just posted some. :o :o :o :o :o
"Who ya callin' an orc?!?!" >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:(
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother suddenly realizes that she was the only one who saw Chauncey and that she almost let the cat out of the bag about his existence. She covers it up by saying: "Slim's too cute to be an Orc! And where is Trinity?"
Slim looks at the FFg. "Who is Chauncey?" ???
"Just an or... person I know from back home."
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother smiles a little. "Are we gonna wait to see if Trinity comes back or keep standing here in the river? The smell of the pipe is starting to get to me."
"I got to check fer eggs."
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother wades out of the muck and mire and wrinkles her nose in disgust. The bottom half of her skirts and underthings is coated with "stuff."
Slim walks into the kitchen with a dozen eggs in his hat that is in his hand. <Ya got ta spell things out or this crowd will think ya gots the hat on yer head with the eggs in it. ::)>
"Trinity?" The Frumpy Fairy Godmother, calls out with a tinge of hope in her voice, "come on to the house, Slim's getting eggs." She turns and walks toward the house and as she strides, there is a shimmer around her and some glittering sawdust falls. When she walks into the kitchen, she is wearing a clean, green dress.
A raspy disembodied voice is heard:
Eggsess? Eggess? Did we hear eggess?
Gollum!! :o
Was that Trinity? ??? ??? ::) ::)
Delmonico comes into the kitchen, "Don't worry folks, Trinity will take off the ring sood and we'll see him then. The ring is evil, you'll just have to form a company and take it back where it was forged. It is made out of "Blackhills gold so the solution is simple."
"Just take it to the Black Hills, climb Mt. Harney and drop it into a the crack of doom at the top. This is the same on custer dropped the flattened rifle case with his name on a note inside in 1873. ;D ;D"
Are we going to have a trek in to the hills and do battle with 'EVIL'
Trinity walks into the kitchen smelling of ... well, nevermind. He is still wearing the same clothes he was wearing in the river but now the "mud" has dried and is cracking. His hands almost look clean except for all around his fingernails which are still black.
"Did someone say Evil? Whatcha talkin' 'bout?" Trinity throws his hand in the air and the ring on his pinky gleams.
"Trinity!"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother is so happy to see him, she rushes forward to give him a hug, but his stench sends her reeling back, gagging before she touches him. With a frustrated look, she pulls her wand and waves in a circle at Trinity, uttering a single word:
"BATH!"
Glittering sawdust falls all around him, obscuring Trinity from view for a moment, then there he is again, standing in the kitchen and totally clean, underwear, fingernails and all.
Trinity becomes confused why the FFG could wave her magic stick this time, but several pages back Trinity had to take a real bath ... with water and soap! Trinity decides to ignore this and gives the FFG a big hug.
Brimming with excitement, he calls for everyones attention and says: "Look what I can do!" With that he holds the hand with the golden ring high above his head and with a theatrical flourish he shouts "Recipe!" Suddenly a jug of 'squeezins' appears before each person in the room, even Delmonico!
He takes up his jug and takes a deeeep gulp. "Ain' that the best thing ya ever seen? Ah ain' gotta make it the hard way no more! Ah wonder what else this here rang can do fer me!"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother merrily gives Trinity a hug even Forty Rod would envy if he was there, then stands back, amazed at the jug that appears before her.
"I ain't sure that ring is a good thang." ???
"Why are you so doubtfull, Slim? Ah promise that as long as the magic follers mah recipe, ya won' go blind or lame!"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gives a very wary look to her jug.
"But how do you know *this* recipe is right? You didn't make it, it could have anything in it, it could make you go blind, now!"
Delmonico goes into his office and shuts the door. He reopens it and lets Duke in. ;D
In the wee hours of the morning when everyone was asleep, a brown stagecoach with a driver and a shotgun messanger in brown uniforms comes up to the ranch. Delmonico goes out to meet it as if he was expecting it. "How was the trip from Sioux Falls Dakota Territory he asks the driver? :D"
"Not bad, I have those things you ordered, strangest thing, they painted the crates up, black and white, look's kinda like a Holstein cow, no matter here they are." ::)
Delmonico takes the 2 black and white crates into his office where there are strange noises coming for a couple of hours. Before long he there is one shot that sounds like a 32-20 rifle and there is a hole in the wall just under the window. ??? Delmonico comes around the house and pulls an insulated wire through the hole and runs it out ta the bob wire fence. ::) ::)
He then goes to the shed and draws a can of coal oil and takes it back to his office, :D :D :D He then says "come " and Duke heads into the office and the door is closed behind. ??? ::) ::) :o ;D :D ;)
I think Del got a new cow 'puter. ;D
A voice from behind the door says, "I'm tryin' to figure this Trinity and the ring thing out." ;D
Slim whispers ta the voice on t'other side of the door, "I'z skeered 'bout Trinity havin' anything magic." :o :o :o
Delmonico comes out of his office and refills the coffee pot he has on his heating stove. Then Duke and him go outside, Delmonico refills his coal oil can and Duke marks the leg of Slim's horse that is tied up about ready to take him back to Wissyconsion.
"Slim I think I'm on to somethin' here, but it may take a while, the barb wire connection is a bit slow on downloads. ;D ::)."
"i've got and idea though, you got any tellygraph wire stashed anywhere? I used all I had for the connection."
"Slim's heading off?" The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gives the tiniest of sighs, then gives Slim 21 and 1/2 hugs, one for him, Mrs. Slim, and all the little Slims.
"Del, I gots 'bout 300 yards of tellygraph wire stashed in the barn."
"FFg, I'z be headin' to Wiscoooooooooooooooooooooooooonsin in 'bout a hour and a half."
"Great, thats what I need to solve this, we should have it under control by the time you get back on Monday." ::) Delmonico goes in the office and shoots 3 more holes in the wall with his 32-20. ;D
He then runs three more wires out to the fence, where there is a wire hoked to the top strand. Delmonico then hooks wires up to the bottom three strands also. ??? ::)
"Great now I have a Broadband connection, that will make this problem quicker to solve." He then fills his can with coal oil again and heads to his office. ;D
"Del, where's dem big white birds? I have a hankerin ta shoot my 10 gauge."
Down 'round the Platte, 'tween Grand Island and Kearney. ;D :o :o ::) ;)
"Ya mean south a here. :( If 'twere nort I would get one on the way down from Wiscooooooooooooooooosin. I guess I'll go after one after I get back. Ya need any dry goods from the nort?"
Trinity comes down from his room after sleeping his hangover off for the whole day. He sits down at the table in the kitchen and thinks to himself. "Ah don' have to wait fer Delmonico or Gophergrease no more, but Ah do like me they cookin'... soooo" Trinity raises the hand with the ring and shouts "Del's and GG's breakfast cookin' times ten!" Before he could blink the entire room was filled with eggs, cheeses, steak, potatoes, grits, bacon (good ole American kind, but in the effort to keep everyone happy and to fill Trinity's belly, the Canadian variety was available too), oats, pancakes, waffles, toast, syrups, jellies, jams and marmalades. Since this was patterned after Delmonico and Gophergrease's cooking, there were also items that were foreign to Trinity, but he was game to try. Laying on the table before him had appeared a large napkin which he tied around his neck before digging in.
About out of coal oil again, Delmonico gets what he wants down loaded. "Duke ol' boy I think ive found the "Crack of Doom" on Mt. Harney. That fella I know up there that has that hydro-gin ballon named Terra Server has gotten up and over Mt. Harney and got his digital glass plate camera to take me a picture of it."
"Here Duke click on this:
http://terraserver.homeadvisor.msn.com/image.aspx?T=1&S=10&Z=13&X=3087&Y=24291&W=3&qs=%7cHarney+Peak%7c%7c
and you can see the "Crack of Doom." Now all we got to do is get that magic "Black Hills Gold" ring from Trinity and place it in the crack."
Walking by Delmonico's office, all the Frumpy Fairy Godmother hears is that Delmonico wants to put something in Trinity's crack. As her face turns a lovely shade of magenta, she rushes away to the kitchen. She stops dead in her tracks, seeing all the food.
"Trinity!! What are you doing? Did you conjure that food?"
With a plan in mind, Delmonico goes into the kitchen and realizes that he is right, this is the One Ring, the evil one and Trinity has found it, for right there in the middle of the food on the table is:
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
a plastic tub of margerine, not just any soft spread margerine, but a low fat one made with canola oil.
Delmonico knows that he must move fast now, the ring must be destroyed before Slim gits back, if not, findin' the margerine in the kitchen will break his heart. And only worse things will happen, next it will be Velveeta cheese, Miricle Whip dressing, tube biscuits, Egg Beaters, de-caffinated coffee, TV dinners, box mac and cheese, Wonder Bread and worst of all "Potted Meat Product."
Delmonico knows he must act fast or soon there will be trouble when the "Potted Meat Product' shows up.
(To those who don't know what our hero, ;D ::) is talkin' about, go to the store and look around the tuna and the Spam and find it. Now read what is in it. Set the can down carefully and run before it crawls out of the can and gets you.) :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P
Authors note: While I may indeed like potted meat food product (and have some in the pantry at this very moment), Trinity would NEVER conjure up any margarine! What kind of person do you think I am?????????????
Quote from: AnnieLee on March 04, 2005, 10:59:11 PM
Walking by Delmonico's office, all the Frumpy Fairy Godmother hears is that Delmonico wants to put something in Trinity's crack. As her face turns a lovely shade of magenta, she rushes away to the kitchen. She stops dead in her tracks, seeing all the food.
"Trinity!! What are you doing? Did you conjure that food?"
With a full mouth, Trinity responds: "Mmmpf mmfm mmfffmmf mfmfffffm! ... WOM, MMMMFMFM MFFFFPF M CRACK??????????????"
Translation: "Look at all the good food. Come help yourself! ... WAIT, WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY ABOUT MY CRACK??????????????"
The only word the Frumpy Fairy Godmother can make out is "crack." She reels backwards, wondering what kind of horrible relationship Trinity and Delmonico have entered, her face an even brighter shade of purple, only to bounce off Delmonico as he comes up behind her. With a tiny squeak of an "OH!", she spins around and ends up out on the porch, trying to breathe.
Delmonico comes out to the porch, "I read that last post, you need to go back and read all of mine.
Click on the link to the picture of Mt. Harney. We need to do sumthin' here, did you know Trinity eats "Potted Meat Product"! :P :P :P
"That is plain evil, tripe, defatted fatty tissue and other similar stuff. We must destroy his ring, before the "Potten Meat Product" gets out of a can and destroys us!!!!!!!!!!!!" :o
"Mechanically separated chicken, partially defatted pork fatty tissue (with tocopherol, natural flabor, citric acid, soybean and/or canola oil to protect flavor), mechanically separated pork tissue, beef tripe, beef hearts, water, less than 2% salt, vinegar, flavorings, dextrose, extracatives of paprika, sodium nitrite"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother whirls on Delmonico.
"I looked at that picture. There are no mountains in it. There are no mountains anywhere in Newbrassky. Newbrassky is flatter than a prepubescent gerl!" Shocked at what she just said, she quickly corrects: "I mean, it's flatter than a pancake!"
Mt. Harney or as it's also known, Harney Peak is it the Dakota Territoy and is 33 miles south of Rapid City. It is the highest point in the Dakota Territory and is 5492 feet above sea level, over a mile and any peak over a mile above sea level is a mountian. Are the hills back in Virginny where that friend of the FFg lives any higher?
Trinity turnes red and decides it's better to pretend he didn't hear the "Prepubecent girl" comment.
Instead, he decided to share a photo with Delmonico...
Delmonico has a can of that stuff in the cupboard at home. He uses it in lectures on food in the Old West. Before 1906 and the Pure Food and Drug Laws it was sold a Deviled Ham. ;D ;D ;D ;D
"Aw, come on, Delmonico. We all know you really like that mechanically separated chicken"
Quote"The mechanical separator basically has a screw and a drive, and it just presses the chicken part against a fine screen at incredibly high pressure and the meat is squeezed off through a sieve. It's usually dark meat from the drumstick or the thigh or possibly the back, which has meat that's been locked up in the bones." In other words, these are the scraps that the human separators simply cannot pick off."
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother frowns a little, then waves her wand to take a look at Google.
"Humph! Mt. Harney is in South Dakota, not Newbrasky! The tallest peak in Virginny is Mt. Rogers at 5729 ft, while the highest in Newbassky is Panorama Point at 5424. Ha!"
304 feet lower, no big deal. Maybe there ain't no mountians in Virginny either. ;D ;D ;)
I could be worse it could be over 5000 feet of potted meat product. :P
Folks, We in Nawth Carl-ina gots us a bigger mountain too! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Delmonico is really happy that their ain't no large mountians in Newbrasskey cause all they is good fer is a-track-in' skiers in the winter and Johnny Denver wannabes to get lost in the woods in the summer. Neither is really that useful. :o ::) :P
So Delmonico decides not to worry bout molehills or mountians and gets a couple of cansd of sardines in olive oil and sits down and starts to eat them beside Trinity and his "Potted Meat Product"
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother looks at them, looks at what they are eating, shakes her head, and tries to stifle her gag reflex.
Delmonico gets up and stokes the fire and puts a pot of water on to boil and adds some salt. He then goes to the ice box and gets a cow tongue and puts it in the water and puts on the lid. ;D ;D
"So... the quest to melt down Trinity's ring is canceled?"
<whisper on> Hey, Miss FFG, guess what Ah did... Ah done used the ring an filled Delmonico's room up with Potted Meat. Ever square inch from floor to ceiling!!! Jest wait til he opens the door. Hee Hee <whisper off>
I'm still thinkin' ;D course we could just let him fill Slim's room with margerine and Velveeta cheese. ;D Maybe you could just ask him to take it to the Crack of Doom on Mt. Harney in the Black Hills 33 miles SW of Rapid City in the Dakota Territory. Course in about 50 years he could go to the same area and put it in TR's grin. ;D ;D ;D ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother leans over to whisper to Trinity. "You'd better fix that, he still has the keys to the castor oil."
Raising her voice back to normal, she scolds Delmonico,"No fair to mess with Slim while he is in Wisconsin!"
Then she mumbles under her breath, "Derned other people's children..."
Delmonico goes to the shed, gets a can of coal oil, whistles to Duke and they go into his office and close the door. The lock is then heard to click. ;D
Early in the morning Delmonico sneaks into Trinity's room where Trinity is dead to the world. He removes the ring from the chain around Trinity's neck.
Back in his office he puts it in an envalope marked "Crack of Doom, Mt. Harney, Dakota Territory, he does not add a Zip code cause they ain't been invented yet. A stamp is added and he steps to the porch and gives it to the pony express rider that just happens to ride up then. ;D
He then mixes some mortar and uses it to make a new tool shed out of the cans of "Potted Meat" product that is in his room. ;D
Three hundred and twenty five years later, the tool shed is still standing.
Trinity awakens to find his ring missing. "Dang! An' Ah was enjoyin' that thang, too. Good thing ah conjured up this here bottomless jug before passing out last night." ;D ;D Trinity take a deep chug and looks out the window at Delmonico's new shed.
"Now where in tarnation did all them cans come from? Oops, Ah fergot to clean Delmonico's room up. Ah wonder if he spent all night fillin' them cans. He couldn't have gotten it all an' without mah ring, Ah can't either. Boy is it gonna stink in there in a few days!!!!" :P :P :P :P
Trinity awakens to find his ring missing. "Dang! An' Ah was enjoyin' that thang, too. Good thing ah conjured up this here bottomless jug before passing out last night." ;D ;D Trinity takes a deep chug and looks out the window at Delmonico's new shed.
"Now where in tarnation did all them cans come from? Oops, Ah fergot to clean Delmonico's room up. Ah wonder if he spent all night fillin' them cans. He couldn't have gotten it all an' without mah ring, Ah can't either. Boy is it gonna stink in there in a few days!!!!" :P :P :P :P
Suddenly off to the North West there is a rumblin' noise and Delmonico knows that the Pony Express rider has made it and has dropped the envy-lope into the Crack of Doom on Mt. Harney. ;D ::) ;)
At that moment the bottomless jug runs empty, but the "Potted Meat Product" shed stands firm, safe and harmless unless someone opens the cans. :P :P :P :P :P :P
Also, at that very moment a loud scream followed by sobs and crying is heard coming from Trinity's room.
Dressed in her blue and white striped flannel robe, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother, who knows nothing about the ring's disappearance, bursts into Trinity's room. Seeing his grief stricken face with the tears rolling down his cheeks, she hugs him too her, making soft, cooing sounds.
Trinity whines an explanation of what happened to the FFG "*Snif* Ah woke up an the ring was gone *snif* but that din't bother me much cause Ah had this here magic bottle *snif* that weren't never to be empty *snif*" He holds the bottle upside down to demonstrate that it was empty and breaks down again in tears.
He finally straightens up and brushes himself off. "Thank you Miss FFG fer your support, A'hm much ablidged."
He opens his trunk and checks the various Delmonico resistant guards and retrieves another bottle. Then he checks the wax seal on the bottle and once happy that everything is clear, he opens the bottle and drinks.
"Ya wan't a slug, Miss FFG?"
"No, thank you, Trinity." She idly plucks some of the bedclothing into place, then gives a startled squeaking sound as she is seated on the edge of his bed. She leaps up, gives a delicate cough, and glides out with as much grace as she can muster.
Delmonico hollors: "I got pizza out in the kitchen, I found GG's stash of that fancy mozzer-ella cheese and I had some tins of them anchovies."
"Oh, by the way Trinity, if yer lookin' fer yer ring I sent it to be destroyed in "The Crack of Doom" on Mt. Harney where it was forged out of Black Hills Gold. By the rumblin' a bit ago I think the Pony Express rider got it done. If I hadn't of did it you would have turned into a Wraith."
"BTW, does anyone know why a grove of trees just walked into the yard?"
Slim comes running into the house. "Thar is a bunch of walking trees in the yard. What have y'all been doin' while I was gone?"
Well it's a long story but simply this time it's the FFg's fault, she was worried about a little poop that would be 11 miles downstream in an hour. Cause the Dismal River has a current of that speed. Well anyway Trinity was helpin' her and he fould this ring and well it wasn't just a ordinary ring, aww don't worry ya won't belive it. ::) ::)
With that Delmonico opens the door and the minute that Duke sees the trees he gives a bark and the trees run back to where they came from. ;D ;D
Sorry Slim I meant to have this mess cleaned up before you got back, but I got busy with some other things. ;D
The trees run off... and at that very moment a loud scream followed by sobs and crying is heard coming from the Frumpy Fairy Godmother's cupola.
Slim runs up the stairs to the cupola to see what the matter is with the FFg.
The door to the cupola is ajar and she is standing at the windows, looking down to where the trees used to be.
"FFg, what is the matter?"
"The trees are running away! I like trees! I know this is the plains and all, but once in a while... " She sighs and gives a scrub at her face, "... trees are nice."
"I like trees, too, me bein' from the Big North Woods. We planted some trees, but they won't be the Newbrassky National Forest fer quite some time though. :("
"I know. I just have to remember I don't really live here, I'm just visiting. I can always go home if I really want to." She gives one more sniffle, then a small smile.
Quote from: AnnieLee on March 07, 2005, 02:45:53 PM
"The trees are running away! I like trees! I know this is the plains and all, but once in a while... " She sighs and gives a scrub at her face, "... trees are nice."
Sorry FFg
It was only an Entmoot, and now that Trinity's ring is gone they are off to parts unknown to take permanent root. Probably part of Slim's Newbrassky National Forest.
Quote from: Russ T Chambers on March 07, 2005, 04:31:06 PM
Quote from: AnnieLee on March 07, 2005, 02:45:53 PM
"The trees are running away! I like trees! I know this is the plains and all, but once in a while... " She sighs and gives a scrub at her face, "... trees are nice."
Sorry FFg
It was only an Entmoot, and now that Trinity's ring is gone they are off to parts unknown to take permanent root. Probably part of Slim's Newbrassky National Forest.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother's smile broadens a bit as she hears RussT.
"Oh, they wouldn't dare do that! Then Delmonico would subject them to a rant about destroying a unique ecosystem, and about there is no place on Earth that is like the Great Plains, and he'd rant and rave, and probably put castor oil on their roots!"
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Hearing the crying, Trinity stumbles up the stairs as fast as he can with his jug to the FFg's room. "Ish evershing ok? *hic* I shaw them treesh walkin' way an hear Miss FFg cryin'!"
Trinity takes another swig and looks at the jug. "Shoo, dash shome good shtuff!"
"Well, Hey thar Shlim! How'sh ya doin'? When *hic* When didja get back to chown? Did Delmoniker chell ya what kinda mean trick he done plait on me?" *hic*
"Trinity, I got back when them walkin' trees showed up. What trick was that?"
Delmonico is out in the kitchen makin' breakfast and rantin'. :o :o ::) ;)
durn folks from up north and back east when they settled their home states they couldn't wait ta start cuttin' down all the trees and they tried and tried and tried and when they got tired of it and had cut down a large part of them they move out here and then there ain't no trees for them to have to cut down afore they can plant their crops and build their house so what do the do but whine and start plantin' trees so their kids and grandkids will have trees in their way to cut down and the next thing ya know that fellar from back east that is the poly-tit-ion from Newbrassky City will get his durned Arbor Day passed and we'll all have to go out and destroy the prairie and the durned state workers a'll be wantin' the day off with pay. :o :o :o ;D :D ;)
"Breakfast is ready, we're havin' "Hang Town Fry" ;D
"My ancesters probably cut down many a tree and grubbed out stumps to clear land to bust sod."
"I'll pass on the Hangtown Fry. Oysters don't cotton to me. :( Thanks anyway, Del."
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on March 08, 2005, 09:08:38 AM
"Trinity, I got back when them walkin' trees showed up. What trick was that?"
After sobering up, Trinity remembers that Slim had asked him a question. "Wail Slim, that rang that Ah found down to that excrement tube turnt out ta be a magical rang. Ah was able ta make jugs fer ever'body, all tha food ya would ever want ta ever see without havin ta kill yer favorite animals. Ah even made a bottomless jug fer mahself!!! It was when Ah made the potted meat (Go back a few pages for pictures yummm) that ole Delmonico got can-tankerous an stolt mah rang when ah was a-sleepin. Well, that din't matter much, cause Ah had mah jug but then it disappeart! Delmonico sent mah rang up ta some crack up to the mountains so's I caint never find it no more. Now Ah gots ta start makin' mah recipe mahself again!
Mean! >:("
After an absence of about 5 hours, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother returns with a scattering of glittering sawdust, hints of loam under her fingernails, a wreath of oak leaves in her hair, and a contented smile.
"Whatcha been scuptin Miss FFG?" ???
As she smiles and reaches up to adjust the wreath in her hair, she gives off the scent of fresh cut pine.
"Oh, I just went out in the woods and chopped up some fallen trees. There is nothing like swinging an axe to give a person an attitude adjustment."
(Author's note: In real life, it would have been a chain saw. I LOVE my chain saw. :D)
Trinity is embarrassed. By Loam he understood clay and thought the FFg was sculpting a statue of him. Oh well he thinks, silly thought.
"Well, glad ya haid a good tahm, Miss FFg. Ah'm right tard an intend to go drekly to baid. Sleep waill!"
"Wait... you said 'sculpting'?" Trinity's accent sometimes throws off the Frumpy Fairy Godmother and it takes a bit for the word to sink in.
"No, I was gathering up the rotting leaves that had mixed with the clay and soil. It makes for a fertile soil for a garden."
She leans to give Trinity a chaste kiss on his cheek. "Sleep well!"
Delmonico thinks if the FFg wants a well ferilized garden it would be easier to just move the horse corral and use the old one for a garden. ;D ( He's thinkin' about the time in real life his friend the dairy farmer came with a funny lookin' wagon and pooped on the garden. It's a good thing there was not a fan in the garden, cause, when the wagon opened up and the poop hit it......................
it would have clogged the fan but good. ;D)
<shakes head> ::)
"She could always re-dye-rect the excrement tube to the garden?"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother can't read minds, but if she could, she'd tell Delmonico the loam was for her garden at home, not the one in Newbrassky. :P
Quote from: AnnieLee on March 08, 2005, 09:51:30 PM
"Wait... you said 'sculpting'?" Trinity's accent sometimes throws off the Frumpy Fairy Godmother and it takes a bit for the word to sink in.
"No, I was gathering up the rotting leaves that had mixed with the clay and soil. It makes for a fertile soil for a garden."
She leans to give Trinity a chaste kiss on his cheek. "Sleep well!"
Trinity blushes, looks down and turns his toes on the floor and thanks the FFg for the kiss. Then begins to apologize: "AH shore am sorry fer mah post which has caused the confusion. Apparently mah fangers din't eee-nunciate themselves an plum fergot ta include the letter "L" in "scu
Lptin". ;D ;D ;D Ah ain' no bad speller, mind you."
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother grins, thinking about how cute Trinity looks as he is digging his toes and explaining. Then her face turns red at her unladylike thoughts.
"Uh, you are fine, Trinity, I think you talk just uh.. fine. Maybe we can go out tomorrow and gather up some cow stuff for the garden here?"
"That'd suit me right nicely, Miss FFg. Mebbe Ah'll fahnd me another rang! ;D ;D ;D. ...say, is ever'thin' OK, why is ya turnin' raid??"
"Everything is just uh... spiffy! I just have really good blood circulation."
She takes a step to the side in case a lightning bolt is heading her way for such a fib.
Suddenly there is some noise in the kitchen, Delmonico is pourin' sourdough starter into a bowl. He lovingly feeds it and puts the jar back in the cupboard. ;D ;D He then adds some brown sugar and enough white flour to make a thick batter. This of couse will bubble and make the kitchen smell like something fer Trinity to put in his still. :o ::) ;D :D ;)
Delmonico then goes to the cupboard and checks supplies, he realizes he only has enough caraway seed and rye flour to make this batch.
He then goes into a rant, "Durn it now i got to run clear accross town to a store that hopefully has steel ground rye flour, It ain't right to use stone ground rye flour in ma Czech style rye bread, durn it why does everyone keep only stone ground rye flour, but the "Stone Ground" yuppies don't even bake much rye bread and if they do they just buy those packets and add water and pour it into there durn bread machines and then they try to tell you it is homemade bread when they didn't even get dough on their fingers kneadin' the bread, but instead let the durn electric machine do all the work for them and then take the credit fer it and if they do make sourdough their starters are so wimpy that they gots to add store bought yeast to it to make it rise and that ain't right either, but they'll use a little of their wimpy starter and then they have so much of it they'll be forcin' others around their cubical to take the little plastic bag of it home with instrucions printed on a 3X5 card and they'll call it Amish Friendship bread when the Amish all know how to start and use a starter with out makin' their friends all hate them by forcin' them to take home a durned plastic bag of starter that is so wimpy you can't raise bread with it if you gave it Viagra."
"And then I could go on about how most stores charge 5 times more for their brand of caraway seed when others are cheap, but I won't."
"Delmonico! Calm down... Here, have some Esssssppreeesssooo, it should calm yer nerves!" Trinity quietly puts the baggie and the 3x5 card that an associate had given him in a drawer and decides not to ask Delmonico to make the bread for him. ::) ::)
Delmonico comes out of the kitchen that smells so wonderful with the smell of fresh baked Czech style sourdough rye bread. This over powers the kitchen, but in the back ground is the smell of a turkey roastin' very slow and the faint oder of the deer loin that Delmonico cooked all day slow with some fresh ground red pepper and some cumin and onions. The blend of 12 types of red peppers blended well as the meat fell aboart and was put on some white corn torrtillas with a blend of grated cheeses with funny Spanish soundin' names. ;D ;D ;D ;)
And yes it was good and the turkey on rye samwhiches that I'm gonna eat next week will be also. ;D ;) My 3 pints of pepper sauce I am making ought to be ready next week also, 12 kinds of ground and sifted peppers, covered with hot vinegar and some kosher salt added, let steeep a few days and run through blender. :o :o :o :o
If you was in the south they mite make you a Genaral for have a blend of 12 herbs and spices. They made that other guy a Colonel, and he only has 11.
(I'd ask you to send me some of that pepper stuff, Del, but Homeland Security might decide it is explosive. I think they thought the jam I was sending to Forty was some kind of plastique or gel, that's why he never got it. )
The sad thing is that as hot as it is, if it broke open in the belly of a plane they would not know what it was and they would have Haz/Mat and everyone else in on it. Would look kinda cool though, pictures of someone cleanin' up my hot sauce in a space suit. ;D The UPS person was a different one yesterday, he choked when I opened the kitchen door. ;D
When the Frumpy Fairy Godmother comes downstairs, her sinuses are suprisingly clear, though her eyes are a little red. She's in her "working" skirt and blouse and wearing her brogans.
"Has anyone seen my gardening gloves?"
"What did your gloves look like?"
Each one has 4 fingers and a thumb. ::) ::) ::) Looks kinda like a cow udder with an extra teat. ::)
"Oh! I say a pair of dem in the barn."
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother throws one of those "looks" at Delmonico, then gives a big smile to Slim.
"Thank you, I'll look there."
"Yer welcome, ma'am."
She isn't at the barn very long before she comes back, leaving a small shovel and her gloves in the wheelbarrow. She takes off her shoes and comes back in the house in her stocking feet.
"I forgot my hat!"
She hums as she slips upstairs.
The FFg comes back downstairs wearin' a leather Minney-tonka hat and singin':
"I've alwasy been crazy,(but it's kept me from going insane.)"
That's when Delmonico has noticed the FFg has changed to a Waylon Jennings T-Shirt. ;D One her feet are a pair of knee-high mocs. ;D
Well, since the author had to completely rewrite the post she was making about the Frumpy Fairy Godmother wearing a bandana because she couldn't find her hat, we can leave her in the equivalent to the author's hat and mocs, but the Waylon Jennings shirt has GOT TO GO. She's wearing a long sleeved flannel shirt.
:D
Pickin' up a titanium walkin' stick, a bunch of freeze-dried food and some aluminum cook-ware that fits into aeach other, the FFg heads off to the South-West toward the Diggin's on Cherry Creek in Colorado.
As she heads off she is heard to sing:
He was born in the summer of his 27th year,
comin' home to a place he had never been before. ;D
The miner's arournd Pike's Peak are sure gonna be in fer a shock. ::)
As the FFg heads away, faintly you can still hear the strains of:
Rocky Mountian High, Colarado. ::) ::) :D :D :D ;D ;D :P
If she only had a VW Micro-Bus, she would not have to walk.
(http://www.hollywood-diecast.com/Monkees%20Diorama%20VW%20Bus.JPG)
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother comes back from the pasture, carrying a bucket. Without pausing to take off her boots, she walks into the kitchen and dumps the contents of the bucket on Delmonico's head.
"Not that you need any fertilizer for your over active imagination... but stop it!"
Slim falls on the floor laughing. ;D ;D ;D ;D
After a quick shower, Delmonico looks at Slim and says, it was 'spossed to be red, and who ever heard of a dump being closed on Thanksgiving? ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :D ;)
On her way back to the pasture, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother tells Delmonico, "And we decided that one big pile is better than two little piles, and rather than bring that one up we decided to throw our's down."
Quote from: Delmonico on March 11, 2005, 02:13:42 PM
After a quick shower, Delmonico looks at Slim and says, it was 'spossed to be red, and who ever heard of a dump being closed on Thanksgiving? ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :D ;)
It's red now. ;D
It was a typical case of American blind justice, and the judge was not going to look at the twenty-seven 8X10, black and white, glossy photo's with the circles and arrows and the parragraph on the back of each on desribing what each one was. :D :D :D :D
I bet Slim ain't got an idea as to what is going on. ;D I bet he ain't never heard of the Group W bench. ;D ;D ;D I'll bet he has never even noticed how the Lone Gunman and Arlo look enough like each other to be brothers. ;D ;D ;D ;D Bet he ain't ever heard of Stockbridge Mass. and Officer Obie. ;D ;D ;D
Nope. No idea. But I do know where Stockbridge is. Stoney Pete lives there. ;D
"The Group W Bench, was in a building down New York City, it's called Whitehall Street,
where you walk in, you get injected, inspected, detected, infected,neglected and selected.
"Group W itself:
Mother rapers. Father stabbers. Father
rapers! Father rapers sitting right there on the bench next to me! And
they was mean and nasty and ugly and horrible crime-type guys sitting on the
bench next to me. And the meanest, ugliest, nastiest one, the meanest
father raper of them all, was coming over to me and he was mean 'n' ugly
'n' nasty 'n' horrible and all kind of things and he sat down next to me
and said, "Kid, whad'ya get?" I said, "I didn't get nothing, I had to pay
$50 and pick up the garbage." He said, "What were you arrested for, kid?"
And I said, "Littering." And they all moved away from me on the bench
there, and the hairy eyeball and all kinds of mean nasty things, till I
said, "And creating a nuisance." And they all came back, shook my hand,
and we had a great time on the bench, talkin about crime, mother stabbing,
father raping, all kinds of groovy things that we was talking about on the
bench. "
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother blinks. "I think I just had an out of body experience."
Quote from: AnnieLee on March 11, 2005, 01:49:23 PM
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother comes back from the pasture, carrying a bucket. Without pausing to take off her boots, she walks into the kitchen and dumps the contents of the bucket on Delmonico's head.
"Not that you need any fertilizer for your over active imagination... but stop it!"
POOP, POOP, POOP, POOOOPY ON YOU.
Quote from: gophergrease on March 11, 2005, 03:46:18 PM
Quote from: AnnieLee on March 11, 2005, 01:49:23 PM
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother comes back from the pasture, carrying a bucket. Without pausing to take off her boots, she walks into the kitchen and dumps the contents of the bucket on Delmonico's head.
"Not that you need any fertilizer for your over active imagination... but stop it!"
POOP, POOP, POOP, POOOOPY ON YOU.
Wait a minute!!!! :o :o :o Has Del stolen Gophergrease's identity??? ??? ??? ??? Thought that was Del's word!! ::) :o ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gives Russ T the hairy eyeball. "Are you saying that Delmonico and Gophergrease swapped bodies, so I just dumped the p... stuff on GopherGrease?"
I'm still just me, just had to throw his word back at Del for geting dump on. :D :D :D
It's only cyber-poop anyway. ::)
(Careful, Del, remember, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother thinks she's real! She thinks that was real poop, not cyber stuff! :D AnnieLee)
"Well, I am glad you are you, Gophergrease and I didn't get any of it on you!"
With a smile, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother heads back to the pasture. "When Trinity wakes up, will you please send him out? He wanted to help."
Delmonico is in the kitchen makin' a heck of a racket, holloring somethin' about can't find his wok. :o All over the kitchen is cuttin' boards, meat, veggy-tables, rice and soy sauce. ;D
Known u for 20 yrs Delmonico when did u ever use a wok lol
Coming on the porch with clean clothing that is sticking to her, wet hair, and her scrubbed boots in her hand, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother smiles at the newcomer.
"Howdy! Is Delmonico grumbling again?"
Well pard glad you found us, welcome to the Ranch with No Name. Slim has went back to Wissconsion fer the weekend ta visit his wife and his 20 or 21 kids. Trinity I think is out messin' with one of the stills he has out in the hills. Come inta my office in the mornin' and I'll show you on the map where they are, it might not be to safe to get to close cause he blows them up once in a while. :o
Park the hand pump apparatus out there in that shed made out of Potted Meat Product, :P I knew it would be handy, go back a few pages to last weekend and you'll figger out why we have such a strange shed. ::) ;D That thing might come in handy in case Trinity blows up a still again, how good are you at grass fires?
Gopher Grease has been hidin' I think he's in his room loadin' shells, the FFg is Ok but don't upset her or she'll turn ya into a porky-pine or somethin' like that. There's an extra bedroom up stairs 'tween Gopher Grease and Trinity.
I'll be back in a bit, I need to walk Duke our yaller dog.
When he hears walk Duke, not being able to read, Duke thinks he means wok Duke. Out the front door and over the hill he runs, not of course wantin' to be stir fried and served over steamed rice. ;D
When Delmonico mentions porcupines, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother gives the newcomer her sweetest and most innocent smile, then turns to make a cup of coffee, adding a dollup of fresh milk. She takes a sip and exhales a blissful sigh.
Howdy all, thought I should stop in for bit. Just so every one knows, I found a time travale thing. Been spenden time in the year '2004'. Ya see there this guy I met there, and he's been showing me some of the finer points of building something call a '1911'. Said it replaced the peace makers. They got gunpowder that dont smoke so much, nor got out your gun. I'l stop by now and then to say HI and make shure Del dont need doctored form getting hit in the head by ELLE K
"Gophergrease, please come around when you can, you are missed when you are gone!"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother looks like she might cry.
Delmonico comes out of his office with a fresh hand painted sign.
Dismal River Fire Department
He hangs it iver the door of the "Potted meat product shed door.
Quote from: Delmonico on March 12, 2005, 11:20:06 PM...When he hears walk Duke, not being able to read, Duke thinks he means wok Duke. Out the front door and over the hill he runs, not of course wantin' to be stir fried and served over steamed rice. ;D
"Musta belongt ta a chinaman afore he showt up here!
What's the story with the Fahr Department sign??"
Trinity this freind of mine showed up with his hand pump fire apparatus and he's storin' it in the new shed. ;D ;D
He's from Wayne Newbrassky, home to the world famous chicken festy-able. ;D ;D It'll be good, maybe he can teach Slim 'bout chickens.
Are we haveing chicken tonite??
"Chicken sounds good to me!"
"May I suggest prepared in the Cordon Bleu fashion??"
Cordon bleu it is, Del can boil the rest down with some nodlles for tomaro.
Now what else would you like tonite?
"How about some asparagus?" The Frumpy Fairy Godmother has a hopeful tone, but she shoots a look at Trinity, wondering if he is going to start making gagging noises.
With the chicken how bout some califlower, white chesse sauce with just a hint of red pepper.
Asparagus will be good, with the chesse sauce also.
Got some dry white wine thats been chilling, should be good with the meal.
Later there is a creamed chesse cake if any one would care for a taste. Mite has to open a jar of blue berrys for topping it off.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother raises a brow.
"GopherGrease, have you noticed that your meals take on themes? Last time it was corn, now it's cheese! But it all sounds good to me, so count me in!"
I was thinking French, but chesse saids good to. You know how much DEL. loves French food. :D :D :D
"Ah like the Chicken Cordon Bleu and the various cheeses part, but the 'sparagus an' Cow Flower just has to go! Blech!!!"
:P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P
"Trinity, you have to at least try it. With the cheese sauce it doesn't taste the same. It's yummy!"
Delmonico logs in on his broad band now that he has 4 wires from his coal oil powered computor to tha barb wire fence. He sacans the posts and wonders why everyone wants to make a chicken Cordon Bleu? :o :o There have been many jokes about the French Army not being brave over the years, but to make a chicken a Knight of the Highest Order complete whit the sky blue ribbon of the highest order, that seems down right insualtin'. ;D ;D ;D
"Don't be killin' all my chickens! We need eggs too. >:("
"Slim!" The Frumpy Fairy Godmother is always happy to see him, and gives him a hug. "Did you hear? Delmonico got us a fireman with his own pump! And did you bring more cheese to go with Gophergrease's wonderful meal?"
"Thanks fer the the hug. Yep, I brought Colby, Mozzarella, American(Cheddar), and Swiss."
"Excellent!" The Frumpy Fairy Godmother claps her hands and jumps up and down like a schoogerl. "We'll just have to have Gophergrease cook with olive oil so Trinity won't get plugged up."
"I'z sure Del has plenty of castor oil." ;D ;D ;D
"Not castor oil, olive oil!" The Frumpy Fairy Godmother's eyes bulge and she looks like she might hit Slim with her hat.
Quote from: AnnieLee on March 13, 2005, 07:52:31 PM
"Trinity, you have to at least try it. With the cheese sauce it doesn't taste the same. It's yummy!"
"Yore right, Miss FFg, it don't taste the same. It plumb ruins the taste of the cheese!!!! They ain' nothin' yummy 'bout it! :P :P :P :P :P :P
If'n Ah still had mah rang, Ah could conjure up as many chickens as we needed so that Slim wouldn't be angry no more. Slim, how many chickens kin we eat??
Del, you ain' standin' up fer the frainch is you?"
No I was standin' up for the honor of Slim's chickens. :o :o ;D :D
Sorry slim the mozzy-rello cheese would have to be imported till the 1920's you'd think someone form Wissyconsion would know more about cheese than a couple of Newbrassy cosies. ;D
With my next trip to the future I pick up a load of mozzy-rello chesse. anything else we need that we cant have here yet?
Trinity, you got any money left for the southen nation? Them fool a hundered + years from now think its beter than white bread.
"Have Ah got money fer the Southern Nation?? You betcha, Slim. Ah gots me a couple three cases burried over at still number five. When the South takes over agin we's gonna be rich!" ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Say, you goin in the foooture? Could you brang back some of them Jeller puddin pops. Ah likes me them thangs."
Ya might think about bringin' Bill Cosby back with the puddin' pops, we could use a few laughs.
Hay GG let's make Trinty some Cosinerio Puddin' pops, we could make a suet puddin' put some on sticks and freeze it. ::) ;D ;D :P :P :P :P :P :P
Havin' trouble sleepin', Delmonico gets up and goes to the kitchen and starts choppin' beef suet into fine little pieces with his famous 15 inch Chef's Knife that he had to pay the large sum of $3 for. ;D
He then puts the suet into the icebox to chill. :P :P :P :D ;) He then gets a couple of loaves of white bread and crumbles it up and puts this in one of the warming ovens of his cookstove. He then gets some raisins and puts them on a bowl and pours hot water from the tea kettle on them and covers the bowl with a dish towel.
He then stops to scratch a few places that itch, takes a deep breath and blows out the coal oil lamp and heads back to bed to see if he can sleep. ::) ;)
Bleary eyed, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother wanders into the kitchen. Seeing the covered bowl, she gets curious and takes a peek inside.
"Holy tamoley, it's a bowl of mouse poop on steroids! What in the blue blazes is Delmonico up to this time?"
Making faces of distaste, she quickly covers it back up, and puts on the coffee to brew.
"I worry about that man. I think he's been on the plains too long."
Reaching into the icebox for milk for her coffee, she sees the chopped up suet. She reels back, arms flailing in alarm:
"Somebody get a doc! Delmonico is messing with TOFU!!"
"FFg, that there is the makings fer suet puddin'. Havin' lotsa English blood in me vanes I knows what the stuff looks like. I loves suet puddin'." ;D ;D ;D
"Trinity, ya can kill as many chickens as ya want, but if ya kill too many than GG won't be able ta make dessert." ;D
Delmonico comes into the kitchen all grumbly and bleary eyed and with his shirt tail stickin' out and a little round band-aid can be seen near the top of his pants on his left,,,,,,,,cheek. :o :o :P
He crumbles the dried bread in a bowl, adds a large 4 finger and thumb pinch of baking soda. He mixes in a handful of brown sugar some grated lemon zest and a large pinch of ground clove. He then adds the suet, the raisins and 3 beaten eggs. When this is mixed he adds enough milk to make it soft and sticky.
He then puts most of it in a puddin' mould and puts the mould in a irun kettle with a lid, and adds a inch of water to the kettle puts on the lid, the kettle is put on the stove to steam the puddin' for several hours. ;D
He then slams the kitchen door before anyone can see what he dis with the rest of the mix. :o :o :o
When he opens the door again there are two kettles steamin' on the stove. ??? ??? ??? ;)
"Should he be out of bed?"
"Hopefully, he's back in bed by now."
Delmonico comes into the kitchen and checks the irun kettles that are steamin' and adds some water. He reads a sheet of paper in his hand and grumbles somethin' about side effects and sleeplesseness and iratability. :o :o :o ;D :D He heads to his office and slams the door, Duke decided that walk the dog and wok the dog are not the same so he came home early this morning. ;D ;D Scratchin' at the office door brings no results though. :'( :'( ;)
With a sly look to make sure no one's watching, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother slowly draws her magic wand and gives it a slight twitch at the doorknobto the office. Duke smiles as the door opens with a soft "click", then goes into the room to give comfort to Delmonico. She closes the door and it locks once more, leaving only a small hint of glittering sawdust on the floor. Her voice is a soft whisper: "A man and his dog..."
(AnnieLee is betting Del gets a new retriever by the middle of summer.)
Trinity walks into the kitchen and lifts the lid to the kettle. "It smails kinda good, but don' look good atall! Anybody know what it is?
Did Ah hear that Delmonico is feelin' poorly? Mebbe this is some kinda broth fer him so's he get's ta feelin' better!" Trinity rushes to his bedroom and retrieves a bottle of "medicine" and returns to the kitchen where he pours a healthy amount into the kettle.
"There... he should be feelin' better right quickly!" ;D ;D ;D
As the rest of supper is served, pot roast with turnips, parsnips rude-a-beggers, tators, carrots and onions. Fresh sourdough grahm rolls, butter and some blackberry jam imported all the way from Virginny. There are even home canned green beans with bacon in them. ;D
when it is time for dessert it is noticed that the one kettle is open and empty. The other one is still steaming. Delmonico opens it and brings out a nice suet puddin' in the puddin mould. He brings out an heavy iron trivit with fairly long legs to put it on. Stamped in the trivet is a dreamcatcher over an anvil.
Delmonico sets the puddin' mould down and says, "Trinity helped make dessert." :o :o :o Delmonico the grabs a Lucifer and strikes it on the trivet and sets the puddin' aflame. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ::) ;)
(Delmonico used the older mould for moulds that things are formed in cause he don't like molds that are spelled mold. :o ::) :P :P ;D ;D :D ;))
"Hmmm. Ain' that called a Flambé? Ah finally done somethin' right ;D ;D ;D ;D"
(Dang it, that was weird. I was going to post her saying it was suet flambe' or flaming fat, but Trinity beat me to it!)
Over 5 hours later every one has went to bed and Delmonico is still watchin' the Suet Puddin' Flambe' burn. Trinity tried but again it was not a good idea, course Delmonico should have never lite it. And where is that damned Hand Tub when you need him? ::)
Since he will not be here when Slim gets here in the morning he leaves Slim a note and a can. "Gopher Grease was by last night, he brought this for you from the future, he thought you would like it. See you push ths button on the can and cheese comes out of the nozzle." :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
Going to the ice box the other is a success, there is a muffin pan and instead of muffins there are little suet puddin's with sticks in them, suet puddin' pops, for Trinity. ;D ;D ;D
And Delmonico takes some cooked beets and some cooked potatoes and some of the left over roast. He chops it up and fries it in butter and puts the plate in the warmin' oven of the stove. On the table he leaves a note. "FFg in the warmin' oven there is some RED FLANNEL HASH." ;D ;D
He also leaves a note, hope to be back a little afternoon tommorrow, if the Doc don't quarrentine me with this psedo-smallpox. ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) If so I'll be back when I can.
That mold can cause pseudo-smallpox.
Slim reads the note from Del, grabs the can, walks to the front door and grabs his "Mighty Ten" that was waiting for him. Once outside in the front yard, a "thunk, thunk" is heard. Slim throws the can high in the air and pulls both triggers. Fake cheese comes down all o'er the snow. ;D ;D ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother steps out on the porch in time to see the yellow-orangish slimy stuff falling from the sky. She quickly steps back inside, mumbling, "Looks like God has one nasty sinus infection."
I 'spose slim is gonna be upset that I'm to tired to cook tonight and were havin' Peanut butter and Cheese Whiz samwhiches fer supper. ::) ::) ::)
"I'll eat peanut butter, but not that yellow-orange goo."
The FFg and I do, but only with peanut butter. Funny folks 2000 miles away would come up with such a thing. ;D
"Dad-burn it, Slim! While Ah do looooooooooove real cheeses of all varieties and smells, Ah also like that there cheese in a can. After all, it does have real cheese in it, believe it or not. (Cheddar cheese (milk, cheese cultures, salt, enzymes), whey, water, partially hydrogenated soybean oil, sodium phosphate, salte carrageenan, modified corn starch, natural flavor, lactic acid, annatto (color), and oleoresin paprika. CAUTION Contents under pressure. Do not puncture...
Thanks fer them puddin' pops, Delmonico. That was right nice of you! Oh, did you ever get that fire put out? T'is a shame ta see all that alcohol burt off, though." Trinity chomps on a suet pudding pop and wonders what Bill Cosby would think of these.
GG, pops in with a beter gift for Slim.
Note left with it,
If that black fling thing ever comes for you, use this.
P.S. the 5 wooden box each have 2 cans of 250 rounlds of ammo. Have fun.
your friend, GG
Delmonico comes up the stairs with a cardboard box. "Hey Slimm gopher Grease forgot this in the kitchen, I think it's fer you. A whole case of airy-sol cheese."
Quote from: Delmonico on March 16, 2005, 06:47:21 PM
The FFg and I do, but only with peanut butter. Funny folks 2000 miles away would come up with such a thing. ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gets all huffy. "I do NOT! No one in their right mind would eat God snot!"
(But *I* do! But when I was a "punk kid" I also ate ketchup sandwiches, and scabana sandwiches. A scabana sandwich is peanut butter and bananas. When I was preggers, for a while all I could eat without vomiting was liver sausage sandwiches with Miracle Whip, on white bread. But don't tell the Frumpy Fairy Godmother that, she doesn't think I exist. Bwaa haa haa, she's such a puppet. :D)
Delmonico steps outside for a bit before going to bed. The porch is a glow in a strange flickerin' oranageish light. Delmonico looks out accross the yard to the source of the flickerin light. :o :o :o :o
He sees what is causing and mutters to himself, "Durn it ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,
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I wish Hand Tub would come back and put out that stooooopid Suet Puddin' Flambe'." ;D ;D :D :D
Quote from: Trinity on March 16, 2005, 07:34:59 PM
"Dad-burn it, Slim! While Ah do looooooooooove real cheeses of all varieties and smells, Ah also like that there cheese in a can. After all, it does have real cheese in it, believe it or not. (Cheddar cheese (milk, cheese cultures, salt, enzymes), whey, water, partially hydrogenated soybean oil, sodium phosphate, salte carrageenan, modified corn starch, natural flavor, lactic acid, annatto (color), and oleoresin paprika. CAUTION Contents under pressure. Do not puncture...
"I didn't puncture it." ;D ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: gophergrease on March 16, 2005, 08:47:03 PM
GG, pops in with a beter gift for Slim.
Note left with it,
If that black fling thing ever comes for you, use this.
P.S. the 5 wooden box each have 2 cans of 250 rounlds of ammo. Have fun.
your friend, GG
"Thanks, GG, I might find a use fer it even if that thang don't come back." ;D ;D ;D ;D
Slim put the case of yeller-orange goo in the yard and sets up his new "toy", that GG gave him, on the front porch. He takes out one can of ammo and loads the "toy". "Good-bye yeller-orange goo!" He pulls the trigger. Yeller-orange goo flies all o'er the place. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
And the Suet Puddin' Flambe' still sits on it's irun trivent flickin' away as kind of an eternal flame. ::)
It's a good thing we didn't have a serious fire, the Dismal River Fire Department seems pretty dismal. :D :D
"Who's the Chief fer this fire haus?" ???
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother steps out on the porch where she sees the eternal flambe' and the yellow-orange goo all over the ground. Without saying a word, she slowly, carefully, steps backwords until she is back in the house. She closes the door and stands there a moment, her face covered with her hands as she shudders.
Quote from: AnnieLee on March 16, 2005, 10:14:12 PM
Quote from: Delmonico on March 16, 2005, 06:47:21 PM
The FFg and I do, but only with peanut butter. Funny folks 2000 miles away would come up with such a thing. ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gets all huffy. "I do NOT! No one in their right mind would eat God snot!"
(But *I* do! But when I was a "punk kid" I also ate ketchup sandwiches, and scabana sandwiches. A scabana sandwich is peanut butter and bananas. When I was preggers, for a while all I could eat without vomiting was liver sausage sandwiches with Miracle Whip, on white bread. But don't tell the Frumpy Fairy Godmother that, she doesn't think I exist. Bwaa haa haa, she's such a puppet. :D)
Trinity just lost his fabled iron stomach! He was doing fine through the peanut butter and bananas because he likes that too, but then the liver sausage and miracle whip part..... OOOh, it happened again! Gotta clean up now, The Cat is sniffing around the mess!
Quote from: AnnieLee on March 16, 2005, 10:14:12 PM... No one in their right mind would eat God snot!" ...
I've been acused of that a time or two ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Trinity walks out onto the porch and is shocked: "What in tarnation! You gonna let that thang burn till the likker's all gone? Somebody eat it now fer pete's sake! Why, that's alky-hall abuse!"
Quote from: Trinity on March 17, 2005, 08:30:49 PM
Quote from: AnnieLee on March 16, 2005, 10:14:12 PM
Quote from: Delmonico on March 16, 2005, 06:47:21 PM
The FFg and I do, but only with peanut butter. Funny folks 2000 miles away would come up with such a thing. ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gets all huffy. "I do NOT! No one in their right mind would eat God snot!"
(But *I* do! But when I was a "punk kid" I also ate ketchup sandwiches, and scabana sandwiches. A scabana sandwich is peanut butter and bananas. When I was preggers, for a while all I could eat without vomiting was liver sausage sandwiches with Miracle Whip, on white bread. But don't tell the Frumpy Fairy Godmother that, she doesn't think I exist. Bwaa haa haa, she's such a puppet. :D)
Trinity just lost his fabled iron stomach! He was doing fine through the peanut butter and bananas because he likes that too, but then the liver sausage and miracle whip part..... OOOh, it happened again! Gotta clean up now, The Cat is sniffing around the mess!
( I know I should not laugh, especially about The Poor Cat.... but I did! :D ;D <Still snickering> AnnieLee)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother lowers her hands to peer out the window.
"I can't get close enough to cut it, it'd set all my clothing on fire! You do it, Trinity, just make sure you don't wear your new shirt when you try. Wear the old stuff." She lowers her voice to barely above a mumble, "That stuff needs to be burned, anyway."
Delmonico returns to the ranch after his trip to Beat-rice, down in the Southeast part of Newbrassky. "Durn that eternal flambe' is kinda nice, 'bout the time I hit Grand Island I could see it glowin' off in the Northwest. Made it easy to find the ranch after dark." ::) ::) :D
"Hey why does Trinity look so green, St. Paddy's day is over already." ;D
Delmonico was up late so he slept in late this mornin' and let everyone else worry about their own breakfast. :P Decidin' it was to late for breakfast he makes a nice noon meal for his own self seeing's how everyone else has dissapeared for the day.
Gettin' out his meat grinder he goes to the ice box and gets some round steak that he grinds. Mixing this with some canned tamater and a few secret herds and spices (what ever sounded good at the moment) he adds some crushed cracker crumbs and some chopped onions. This is put into two bread pans (cast irun ;D) and baked in a medum oven till well browned.
When done he serves himself up a large plate of meat loaf and pours that new-fangled product Heinz Tomato Ketchup on it and enjoys. Putting the leftovers in the icebox for samwhiches latter, he gets a cup of coffee and heads out to the porch in the nice 60 degree weather and sits on the porch swing. (Did I ever mention we have a porch swing? ;D Nope, well I never wanted to sit in it till now. ::))
As he sits there enjoying his coffee he starts to hear a noise, phhhooooommpf...............................
...........................................................................................................................................
...............................................................................................................................phoompf
...................................................phooooooooommmmmmmmpppffffffff....................................
.............phooommmpf...................................................................................phhhooommmppf
and with one mighty ppphhhoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooommmmpf noise,the not so eternal flambe's flame goes out................................................flickers back to life for a minute or so and.....................phhhhhooooooooooooppppf, goes out and does not ignite back into flame. Just a little bit of smoke trailing skyward it the still afernoon. ;D
But even in the dyin' afternoon sun light, Delmonico can see it is not really done burning, the active flame has died, the alcohol and suet have finnally burned off, but the thing is still glowing with a intense orange internal fire.
Suddenly Delmonico realizes what has happened, he made the suet puddin' using sourdough bread and he remembers one cold night in November a couple of years ago when he and Gopher Grease put two stale sourdough biscuits in the fire to see if they would burn. When the lard burned off, they glowed with a very intense heat for hours. This thing out in the door yard was many times bigger than a couple of biscuits and it had been fueled with beef suet and alcohol, not mere pig lard.
What will happen to this thing, Delmonico has already noticed that it is glowing brighter than it was, and the irun trivet it is setting on has started to glow with a dull red, a red that can only get brighter as the afternoon wears into evening.
And where is that durned fireman that parked his rig in the potted meat product shed, he has not been seen for days, and the thing, because it can now only be called a thing is glowing brighter all the time, building up in intesity. The irun trivet has taken on a brighter hue of color, no longer a dull red, but more the color of a sunset on a dusty spring day.
Lookin' over before he clicks the mouse, Delmonico decides that this is a fine post. ;D ;D ;D ;D Finishing his coffee he tosses the dregs into the lilac bush by the porch. (Yes we have a lilac bush) He picks up the Creative Writing book left over from the class he took several years ago and decides to get another cup of coffee as he clicks the post button. ;D ;D ;D
Trinity steps out on the porch. Seeing the state of the flambé he is saddened and removes his hat as he stares a in a silent respect with Delmonico.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother wanders into the kitchen to discover the loaves of meat in the icebox. With a delighted smile, she quickly makes a pair of sandwiches from some of the meat, wrapping them in a towel to take them out on the porch. Once there, she gives Trinity a shoulder nudge of a hug and joins Delmonico on the swing.
Unwrapping her sandwiches, she has a quiet dinner, offering halves to Delmonico and Trinity. "Think it will blow up?"
GG, returns with more things from a time yrt to come. He set 5 of the boxes in frount of Trinity, the last to DEL.
Trinity yours are for the stills, one for each.
Del, use your for the good of all.
Miss FFg, I will have a gift for you in a day or so. You have not been forgoten.
"Wait Fellers, Please don' put it out yet" Trinity says as he wipes a tear from his eye. "Ahm enjoyin' it."
Quote from: gophergrease on March 18, 2005, 08:27:05 PM
GG, returns with more things from a time yrt to come. He set 5 of the boxes in frount of Trinity, the last to DEL.
Trinity yours are for the stills, one for each.
Del, use your for the good of all.
"Thankee so much fer the giffs, Gophergrease! What's inside? If it's fer the stills, Ah don' wanna open them up here fer fear that Delmonico will try ta hide it or con-taminate it!"
As they sit and eat meat loaf samwhiches and watch the Suet Puddin' Flambe' in the now total darkness, Delmonico wonders if he should use the strange contrapion GG brought from the future on it. The instructions clearly say: "pull pin aim at the base of the fire and squeeze handle." But something keeps him from doin' it.
The triviet is starting to glow in a almost orange glow from the heat of this stange ball. What is really weird is on the side of the trivet, the Dreamcatcher impossed over the Anvil that is stamped on it starts to glow blue. This is an eiirry thing, this blue anvil/dream catcher glowing against the orange background.
"Delmonico, just how long have you had that there trivet? It's starting to spook me! :-[ Where's that there cannon Gophergrease brought Slim? I wanna have it to hand just in case!"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother leans up to smooch Gopher Grease on the cheek with a smile, then looks back to trivet. "It looks pretty to me. Think we can get it to stay that way when it cools?"
As the sun rises, Delmonico says not a word, but gets a bucket of coal oil and sets it on the ground. He pushes the Flambe' off with a stick and grabs a set of tongs and drops the trivet in the bucket of coal oil. It bursts into flames and Delmonico goes back to the porch. :o :o ::) ;)
"It's Gopher Grease's trivet, he designed it and Black Iron Bill made it. That Dream Catcher over the Anvil is Bill's mark. He puts it on everything he makes, my spatula has that mark." ;D
In the evening Delmonico is sittin' n the porch, eatin' the last of the meatloaf on a samwhich. The fire in the bucket is out and the trivet stands there, dark and cold. Delmonico decides to see if Hand Tub is watching dirty movies out in the Firehouse. Enterin' the Potted Meat Product shed, he see's that the hand pump is not there, but a note is. The note says, "Got Called on a Mutual Aid call to Cheeecagooo in the night, be back as soon as possible." ;D ;D ;D ;D
"Well that explains that." Delmonico walks over, picks up the trivet and thumps it with his finger. RRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.........it reververates.
Delmonico smiles and says, "A perfect temper." ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)
The Eternal Flambe' is about half visible as it dissapears into a pool of molten glass. ;D ;D ;D
As Delmonico sits by himself drinking coffee on the porch swing the eternal Flambe is almost covered in a pool of molten glass. Duke gets up off the porch and walks over, lifts his leg and with a hiss of foul smelling steam, the Flambe' goes out.
Delmonico is upwind from the foul smelling steam, so he finishes his coffee, goes in and washes out the pot and cup and goes to bed. ::)
Later, Trinity stumbles out into the yard from the wild, staggers past the stinking steam pool and tries three times to climb up on the porch before he succeeds. He turns to look at the steam rising from the former Flambé and thinks to him self: "Ah better not get cremated when Ah die."
The Frumpy Fairy Godmther is up early. Dressed in her flannel robe over her nightgown, and with fuzzy slippers on her feet, she steps carefully over the sleeping Trinity on the porch. She makes her way to the molten glass and ponders over it a moment, then goes back inside for some small tools and string.
When the rest of the folks wake up, they find a new, esoteric glass wind chime hanging from the rafters of the porch.
:D
Delmonico comes out to the swing to have a cup of coffee and as he sits he takes a sniff. He goes back to his office and goes in to drink his coffee. "Durn that porch is a bit gamey today, the smell of steamed dog pee, mixed with unwashed moonshiner is just a bit to much this morning."
He also makes a mental note to put on his boots next time as he picks bits of sharp glass out of his feet. :o :o
Del, do you have a good Russian rye bread? If so make up a load and I'll be makeing super tonite.
Trinity climbs to a sitting position. Wondering why his head is so sore he looks and realizes that he had fallen at the door. Someone or several someones must have hit him in the head when entering and exiting the house. He wonders if it had been done intentionally. "Ah jest kain't 'magine no one doin' sump'in like that a-pupous sept mebbe Delmonico!" Then a mental image constructs itsself of Delmonico repeatedly bashing Trinity in the head all in the name of "waking him up". ::) ::) :o
Trinity slides into the swing and hopes that the rythmic motion will help ease his headache.
"<sniff><sniff> What's that smail? <sniff><sniff> Ain' no good whatever it is."
The smell of Beef Stognoff drifts from the kicken. The dark Rye Bread sits cooling on the table.
The Pachlava are just going in the oven.
Draning the boild tatters, GG call out for all " SUPPERS READY, GET SOME NOW OR I"LL THROW IT TO THE HOGS!"
With that siad he makes a plate and sits down to eat.
Pachlava recipe
Ingredients
2 c flour
1 ea egg
150 g sour cream (1/2 c)
150 g butter (1/2 c)
1/2 ts baking powder
1 c walnuts finely chopped
1 c sugar
Method
Make a dough with 1 yolk, baking powder, soft butter, sour
cream. Divide in three parts and roll out three rounds (size of
your baking pan). Make a filling with chopped walnuts, egg-white
and sugar.
Put one round in the pan and cover with a half of filling. Put
another round on the top and cover with the rest of filling. And
then another round again. Bake in the oven about a half an hour.
Out on the porch Trinity had fallen back asleep. He is sitting straight up in the swing and his head is back at 90 degrees as if he were looking at the ceiling. He is snoring loudly. As the smell of beef drifts from under the kitchen door and reaches Trinity's nostrils he jerks awake causing him to fall from the swing with a loud thud.
Trinity dashes into the kitchen to make sure that he is not dreaming where he finds Gophergrease sitting alone.
<sniff><sniff> "What's that dee-lectible smail, Gophergrease?? MMM, Boy! Ah see Beef stew an' berled taters. All the thangs that's good to eat! What's that black braid there?"
Delmonico, comes in sees the Rooosin food and goes out and locks up the barn and keeps the key. ::) ::)
"If Trinity eats too much of that he's gonna want to make that stuff that I was readin' about one time in Natiooonall Geo-grafic, a drink made out of fermented mares milk thats been dee-stilled, I just don't know how I'd splain it to the horses." ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
With a rather unladylike gesture toward Delmonico, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother also joins in. "This is wonderful, thank you, Gopher Grease! And I always wanted the recipe for Baklava."
Meanwhile, the glass windchime now gives off the faint scent of jasmine.
:P
Delmonico sits on the porch, but he can't stand to drink coffee there no more. ::) ::) He don't think the FFg knows the differance between the smell of jasmine and steamed dog urine, cause that's all Delmonico can smell on the porch. :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P Going into the house he steps on yet another piece of sharp glass. ;D
He's glad he moved Trinity off the porch and down into the cellar where there is no glass. ::)
Margarine!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Delmonico comes out of his office with a coffee cup and runs right into Slim's
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
And goes back and sees how GG upset Slim.
"Don't worry Slim, I'll have a talk with him." :D
"Thanks, Del. He needs to be set straight on this issue." ;D ;D ;D
Just a thought Slim, since that is a European recipe, it might be more correct to use margerine than butter. Remember the lack of real butter is what cause that little fellar with his hand in his coat of offer the rewards for developing fake butter.
Margerine was popular in europe before it was popular here, because our farmers produced enough butter for everyone at a fair price. But in Europe things were different.
But on the other hand I will have to 'gree with you.
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
"Europeans are a bit weird anyway." ;D
Delmonico goes in to his office with a cup of coffee. He don't want to be a witness when The Marshall and others who's only sin in live is to be from an area of the world that don't have enough butter for everyone. With a lack of treess they will most likely hanf Slim from the ridge pole in they hay loft of the barn. ;D ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: gophergrease on March 20, 2005, 06:46:59 PM
Pachlava recipe
Ingredients
2 c flour
1 ea egg
150 g sour cream (1/2 c)
150 g butter (1/2 c)
1/2 ts baking powder
1 c walnuts finely chopped
1 c sugar
Method
Make a dough with 1 yolk, baking powder, soft butter, sour
cream. Divide in three parts and roll out three rounds (size of
your baking pan). Make a filling with chopped walnuts, egg-white
and sugar.
Put one round in the pan and cover with a half of filling. Put
another round on the top and cover with the rest of filling. And
then another round again. Bake in the oven about a half an hour.
Slim it reads butter to me.
Pachlava is Russian some what like Baklava from the middle east.
Pachlava has a crust that is softer. Baklava is made with fillo dough, that is very flacky and all most dry.
BAKLAVA
Ingredients
1 1/2 pounds walnuts, chopped
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/8 teaspoon ground cloves
40 sheets Athens Fillo Dough, thawed
1 cup butter, melted
Combine walnuts, sugar, cinnamon and cloves. Brush 12" x 16" baking pan with butter. Overlap 8 sheets on bottom of pan, buttering each sheet as you place in the pan, covering the bottom. Sprinkle with 1/3 of walnut mixture. Overlap 8 more buttered fillo sheets on top. Spread 1/3 additional walnut mixture over the fillo. Overlap with another 8 buttered fillo sheets and the remaining walnuts. Finish baklava by overlapping the remaining 16 sheets, buttering the sheets as you fit them in the pan. With sharp knife, score fillo into 1 1/2" diamonds or squares. Brush with remaining butter. Bake in preheated 350°F oven for 45 minutes to 1 hour or until golden brown. Cool slightly and pour warm syrup (recipe below) evenly over baklava. Cool completely, cut and serve.
Yield: 80 to 88 small pieces
SYRUP
Ingredients
2 cups sugar
2 cups water
1 cup honey
1 lemon peel
Bring all ingredients to a boil. Simmer for 10 minutes. Strain and cool slightly.
This one came from the Athens foods, makers of a very good fillo. Haveing made fillo from scatch I now buy the frozen.
Tonite we will have a nice roast leg of lamb. tomato and basil salad with fetta chesse. baklava for dessert.
Trinity's mouth is already watering. Maybe it has something to do with the Pachlava and Bachlava he has crammed in his mouth, maybe it's because he is excited about the idea of leg of lamb!!!!
"MMM Golmmfmergmrmmsh, M Lmmmff femma chmmms!!!
Trinity crams another piece into his mouth in fear that it may run out. ;D ;D ;D
Delmonico sits out on the porch swing tryin' to drink coffee, but between the pain in his feet from the broken glass and the smell of steamed dog pee, he decides to go in the house. :o :o ;D As he comes in he hears the part about Trinty bein' exited about a lamb's leg. :o :o :o :P :P :P :P :P :-\
That is just to much, so he grabs the coffee pot and goes into his office and locks the door. :o :o After a minute or so, he thinks it over and places a chair under the door knob. ;D ;D ;D ;D
From a place far, far away, where the mice have ears like big dinner plates, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother scowls. She knew all the glass had been cleaned up and that her wand was working just fine, so windchime smelled like Jasmine, not dog urine. She remembered something a redheaded young man suggested to her and her face brightened. Picking up her wand, she gave it a twirl...
And somewhere in Newbrassky, behind a locked door with a chair under a knob, Delmonico turns into a Spud.
Delmonico picks up his ears, eyes and mouth and puts them in the proper places, sadly in this Poly-idiot-cally correct world Mr. Potatoe head can no longer have a pipe. :o :o And Pototoe with an e is correct in the latter half of the 19th century. ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother is still scowling the next morning, since she has to put some powdered chemicals in her coffee to whiten it. But she sips anyway and gets out her crystal ball to see what is going on in Newbrassky. When she sees Mr. Potatoe Delmonico, she nearly spews her coffee on the ball, laughing, then makes sure he has a little pair of feet to stick in the appropriate place.
Quote from: gophergrease on March 21, 2005, 05:33:35 PM
Quote from: gophergrease on March 20, 2005, 06:46:59 PM
Pachlava recipe
Ingredients
2 c flour
1 ea egg
150 g sour cream (1/2 c)
150 g butter (1/2 c)
1/2 ts baking powder
1 c walnuts finely chopped
1 c sugar
Method
Make a dough with 1 yolk, baking powder, soft butter, sour
cream. Divide in three parts and roll out three rounds (size of
your baking pan). Make a filling with chopped walnuts, egg-white
and sugar.
Put one round in the pan and cover with a half of filling. Put
another round on the top and cover with the rest of filling. And
then another round again. Bake in the oven about a half an hour.
Slim it reads butter to me.
Thanks fer changin' it, GG. I wasn't sure how ta figger out those grams also. ;D
(http://www.theweaponshop.com/Mr.PotatoHead.jpg)
Have to pipe. You can blow bubbles with it. ;D ;D
In his office Delmonico logs on to his coal oil powered computor and starts typing and clicking. ::) ::)
In the late afternoon a wagon pulled by three span of fast mules pull up in the yard. On the back of the wagon is a large wooden tank. Delmonico has the wagon backed up into the barn and then he signs for it. The driver saddles the left front mule and rides off with the rest, he has been warned not to laugh at the potoate guy. ;D
Delmonico goes into the barn and puts a pad-lock on the spigot of the tank wagon and goes back into his office, carrying a large basket of potatoes. ::) ::) He comes back out, grabs a bucket and a bowl and a paring knife, he then slams the door and locks it.
In a few minutes he comes out, goes to the kitchen and grabs a pair of tweezers he left on the counter last night, as he limps back to his office he is mutterin' something about danged glass under his breath. :o :o ;D :D ;)
Del, you have anything planed for supper tonite?
French fries, chicken fried steak and doughnuts. I got's the oil in the barn.
Delmonico beats the mea..................er steak with his steak beater. The potatoes are peeled and cut and the doughnut dough is made. He goes out and gets a bucket of cooking oil and starts a good fire in the stove, he starts frying everything in sight and when it's down he lays it out on platters on the dining room table along with the blue and white Wedgewood china. ;)
Come and get it the potatoe head says. :D
Since none of them came to supper, Delmonico gathers up the cold food and throws it into the river and washes the dishes. Later he gets some cold boild tongue out of the icebox, browns it itn butter and has it and cheese on sourdough whole wheat, fresh from the oven with a little fresh mayo and some fresh horseraddish. ;D ;D
When supper is done Duke belches cause horseraddish don't agree with him. ;D
While the lass from Virginny is causing mischief and mayhem among the geeks in the land of mice and killer whales that put shows on for people, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother (blissfully unaware of the existance of the wayward lass) lolls around the pool, getting some sun and swimming. That evening she returns to her crystal ball, (after giving a thanks to the Gods because the cleaning woman didn't steal it) to take a peek.
She gives a tsk as Mr. Potatoe Delmonico is still pretending to get glass in his plastic feet. Somehow sensing her disapproval, even from that far away, Duke thinks it is because of his belching and hides his head under his paws.
Delmonico gets out a dishpan and fills it with hot water and dissovles some magnesium sulfate (epsom salt) in the water and soaks his feet that still have glass in them and are starting to get infected. :o :o ::) ::) :P :P :P ;) He knows he will have to get this taken care of or Slim will have to ride to town and get a doctor to come and amputate them. :o :o ::) ::) ::)
Delmonico is also worried, Trinity did not show up for supper, he most likey has infection from glass in his feet and has crawled up in some canyon and is gonna die a slow painful death with nothin' but a gurglin' still to keep him company. ::) ::) ::) And all because someone wanted whindchimes and left the glass layin' around. Anyone knows the really cool wind chimes are made out of empty cartridge cases of different sizes. ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on March 22, 2005, 11:41:31 PM
Anyone knows the really cool wind chimes are made out of empty cartridge cases of different sizes. ;D
Anyone but me. :-[ What a great idear! Ya got a picture of one o' dese?
Why would you need a picture? ;D Ok a pard built one out of cases out of US milatary callibers, every thing from 20 mm to 22 Hornet. Yes before you ask Slim it was, I got's some rounds with FMJ bullets and Milatary headstamps. Just use yer imagination. ;)
Quote from: Delmonico on March 23, 2005, 11:08:05 AM
Why would you need a picture? ;D Ok a pard built one out of cases out of US milatary callibers, every thing from 20 mm to 22 Hornet. Yes before you ask Slim it was, I got's some rounds with FMJ bullets and Milatary headstamps. Just use yer imagination. ;)
Was I gonna question if the 22 Hornet was a Mil. round? ;D
Most do if they don't understand Cold War poly-ticks. ;D
Delmonico wakes up with his infected, glass filled feet in cold epsom salt water. He looks over the posts he made in his sleep and adds: They still have 45-70 in the invontory also Slim." ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on March 23, 2005, 01:11:55 PM
Delmonico wakes up with his infected, glass filled feet in cold epsom salt water. He looks over the posts he made in his sleep and adds: They still have 45-70 in the invontory also Slim." ;D
The US military in the year 2005?
The Navy does Slim and the Coast Guard. ;D ;D
Slim I think I'm in trouble, the infection in my feet have spread to far to be able to save them. :o :o
Can you go into my office and look and see if there is a spare pair in the Mr. Potatoe Head box. ::) ::)
If not E-Mail Hasbro and have them send out another pair as soon as possible. ;D ;D :D Oh and would you go out and throw away them durned wind chimes and sweep up the glass that keeps breaking off them. That durned FFg didn't realize you need to make glass wind chimes out a tempered glass and it ain't been invented yet. ;D ;D :D ;)
Slim goes in Del's office and finds an extra pair of feet in the box. On the way back, he gets a broom and dust pan. "Here are the extra feet. I'll sweep up the glass and throw away the wind chime."
Thank You Slim, ;D ;D oh by the way the 45-70's are blanks for some of the line throwing guns. ;D ;D
Now I know how Russ T. felt when the FFg turned his horse into a slug. ;D ;D I better go out and bury these other feet, they are startin' to stink really bad. :D :D ;)
After returning from one of his trips to the future GG has the perfect gift for the FFg. A very nice set of temperd glass windchimes.
And somthing extra incase someone trys to throw them away.
Quote from: Delmonico on March 22, 2005, 10:52:53 PM
Since none of them came to supper, Delmonico gathers up the cold food and throws it into the river and washes the dishes. Later he gets some cold boild tongue out of the icebox, browns it itn butter and has it and cheese on sourdough whole wheat, fresh from the oven with a little fresh mayo and some fresh horseraddish. ;D ;D
When supper is done Duke belches cause horseraddish don't agree with him. ;D
Trinity rides up to the barn and enters where he removes the saddle from his horse rubs him down with hay. He leaves his friend loudly chomping grains.
"Hey, Delmonico!" He calls to the Mr. Potatoe Head Delmonico. "What in tarnation happent to you! I use that there Teleportation deeee-vice to go visit mah mother fer dinner (where she just happened to visit her family over the weekend in Danville, VA and stopped at Trinity's all time fav-o-rite BBQ restaurant fer take out!!!!) an' look what happens ta you? We kaint leave you fer no minute! Do you know how long this is going to last? ???
Anyway, on the way back Ah happened to see down river from here caught up in the brush this delectible meal jest waitin' fer me! It were cold, but not bad. What happened??"
Trinity smacks his lips. "Say, Delmonico, can we have Hashbrowns in the mornin'?" ;D ;D ;D
FFg again, nuff said. ::) ::) ::)
Del, the coyotes got that new calf. He was still a live when I got out there but had lost a hind 1/4. Got him hanging out in the barn to buttcher.I will use the back straps for supper tomaro, any parts you want?
Yea save the round off a the undamaged hind quarter, we might ought ta do some German again. I'll get us some sourdough pumpernickle bread done and see if'n I can find my recipe fer wienersnitzle.
Should make a SOB stew since the calf was unweaned, but I don't like gut soup. ;D ;D ;D Bet that cheese eatin' Slim would like it, wonder if'n he knows what a marrow gut is. ;D ;D
I'm thinking Italian for tomaro. Make up some good crusty sourdough for me if you will. Long thin loafs.
I'll get da sponge made up fer it tonight, sourdough French/Eye-tallian bread is a specalty of mine. A'll saute some crushed garlic in a buch a olive oil and strain the chucks out, we can spread that on slice and I got some of dat stinky hard cheese down in the cellar, we can grate it fer the top and broil it a bit.
If ya need some olive oil, get it out of the barrel in the cellar, don't get it out of the tank in the barn. That ain't olive oil, it's castor oil, and Trinity ate all that stuff I fried in it last night, he's passed out in the yard right now, so lock the door when you go to bed or we'll have a mess in the mornin'.
We'll have German Sat night. can you whip me up an apple studel for then?
Looking into her crystal ball, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother's eyes narrow down into slits of near anger. Her wand gives a little flip, making sure that the only feet Slim will find are for MRS. Potatoe head.
Delmonico makes the sponge for the sourdough bread and feeds his starter and puts it on the shelf in the cupboard. As he works gettin' stuff done in the kitchen he breaks a heel on his Mrs. Potatoe Head shoes and falls down. All bruised up he lays there on the kitchen floor, to battered to get up for about 10 minutes. :o :o :o :o :o Even as battered and sore as he is, he gets hot water out of the stove resivoir and does the dishes, dries them and puts them away. ::) ::) ::)
Before he goes to bed he takes a roll of Sanitary tissue out to Trinity and lays it there beside the prone figure. He don't want the poor fella to develope a rash, the is a differance between being onerory and mean. :D :D :D :D :D
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on March 21, 2005, 12:23:50 PM
"Europeans are a bit weird anyway." ;D
Thanks a million Swim. I needed to be reminded of that. ::)
PS. Delmonico had it wrong, I would never hang ya. :o
You're a pal of mine. :D
I'll just shoot ya in the butt with a tiny weeny little .22 short. ;D
Delmonico come limpin' in on his broken high heels and with his bruised knee and reads Scattered Thumbs post. ;) "There's a box of 22 Shorts in the top drawer of my desk if'n you need them. ;D
There is a Stevens Single-shot 22 hangin' above the door if ya need it also. I'd shoot him in the butt with a 44-40 shot catrigde and #14 shot though, there is a special order Colt Model P with a smoth bore barrel in the bottom drawer along with a couple a boxes of rounds. I got it from Buffalo Bill. ::) ::)
Quote from: Delmonico on March 24, 2005, 08:58:35 AM
Delmonico come limpin' in on his broken high heels and with his bruised knee and reads Scattered Thumbs post. ;) "There's a box of 22 Shorts in the top drawer of my desk if'n you need them. ;D
There is a Stevens Single-shot 22 hangin' above the door if ya need it also. I'd shoot him in the butt with a 44-40 shot catrigde and #14 shot though, there is a special order Colt Model P with a smoth bore barrel in the bottom drawer along with a couple a boxes of rounds. I got it from Buffalo Bill. ::) ::)
Thanks for the kind offer Delmonico. ;) I'll wait for Swim to appear and ask him what's his prefferrance.
Or.
I could instead use the old European receipe of just shooting his butt with the 12 gauge mule ear loaded with salt. ;D
"Now wait a minute, ST. All my ancestors came from Europe, so I was including myself with that comment."
To show that he wasn't really mad at Slim, Scattered Thumbs points out he isn't calling him Swim no more. ;D
"Thank ye, sir. You are a gentleman." ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on March 24, 2005, 12:02:36 AM
Delmonico makes the sponge for the sourdough bread and feeds his starter and puts it on the shelf in the cupboard. As he works gettin' stuff done in the kitchen he breaks a heel on his Mrs. Potatoe Head shoes and falls down. All bruised up he lays there on the kitchen floor, to battered to get up for about 10 minutes. :o :o :o :o :o Even as battered and sore as he is, he gets hot water out of the stove resivoir and does the dishes, dries them and puts them away. ::) ::) ::)
Before he goes to bed he takes a roll of Sanitary tissue out to Trinity and lays it there beside the prone figure. He don't want the poor fella to develope a rash, the is a differance between being onerory and mean. :D :D :D :D :D
Trinity wakes up uncomfortably in a pool of smelly brown liquid ..."mess". He notes a roll of Sanitary tissue laying near him and around that several ovals, some of them accompanied by smaller circles. By the regularity of these strange marks, Trinity can only deduce that these are either footprints of some strange creature or they are some form of fancy footwear for a tiny pair of feet. One of them seems to be missing a piece ???
Trinity rises and tries his best not to get any more of the liquid poop on him than he already has but it is not an easy task. He is pretty sure how he knows what caused him to pass out (one of the three jugs the night before), but does not quite know how he managed to "soil" himself so badly. He thinks it has something to do with Delmonico, though! >:( >:(
He tramps into the kitchen and up to his room where he falls into bed and immediately back to sleep. He never even rinses off! ::)
delmonico hobbles around on his broken high heel and grabs a mop and cleans up the stains on his kitchen floor. :P :P :P :P :P
He then goes to his office, writes a letter and as the pony express rider comes by, he hands it to him. ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother sighs as she looks into her crystal ball. Reynaldo the pool boy hears her sigh and leaps up to offer to rub her back to ease her tension, but she waves him away. With a wave of her wand, Trinity is under a clean coverlet in his bed. His clothing is simply gone, along with the mess on his body. ( She averted her eyes for that part). Another wave and Delmonico is returned to his normal surly self. A third wave and the castor oil in the tank is converted to extra-virgin olive oil.
Only then does she allow Reynaldo to approach and work his brand of magic.
Delmonico looks at the above post and thinks the term Extra Vigin is as stooopid a term as Jumbo Shrimp, or Seanate inteallagence commitee. ::)
As for Virgin wool, do you really care what the sheep did?
( While the Frumpy Fairy Godmother is doing something that makes her smile and be all relaxed for a while :D, I guess I'll smack Del with my hat < beats him about the head and shoulders > Ok. Extra virgin refers to the filtering process. Not all olive oil tastes or looks alike. Extra virgin is its own category. <Smacks him some more, just because she feels like it> Ahhh... it's good to be home! :D AnnieLee )
Delmonico also knows it has to do with the pressing also. ;D ;D ;D
Trinity awakens in a fresh bed, clean of the previous nights poop. No longer cognizant of the previous nights incident, the clean sheets confused Trinity as this was not the month for clean sheets. He seldom slept in the nude, but shrugged that off. As he sat on the side of the bed scratching his head, he found a half piece of corn. "Now, Ah wonder where that done come from! Hmm!" ...and in his mouth it went. "Tasty!"
(AnnieLee is very glad the Frumpy Fairy Godmother was not looking into her crystal ball for that one.
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!! )
Gopher Grease, hangs a sing on the kitchen door.
"Sorry about supper last night, it will be ready promptly at 8:00 pm tonight."
TONIGHTS MENU
Tomato Bruschetta
Zuppa Toscana
Roasted Beet, Red Onion And Goat Cheese Salad
Veal Chops With Lemon Sage Sauce
Herb Ricotta Gnocchi
Baked Greens And Potatoes
Chocolate Hazelnut Cake With Pear Compote
At 7:52, there is a sprinkling of glittering sawdust and the Frumpy Fairy Godmother appears in the parlor, dressed in a nice blue gown, looking a bit sunburnt and with a very, very relaxed smile.
"I love zuppa Toscana."
Miss Ffg you are about an hour early, For now you will have to settle for glass of wine.
Aaaaaah, Newbrassky is on Central time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ya still gots a little over an hour. ;D
"I'm not early, I am just in time for the social hour before dinner." Still smiling, she graciously accepts the glass of wine, then languidly folds herself into an easy chair.
Del, I have some Turkish coffee for you.
Looks like just use three for supper tonight.
Its on the table if you're ready.
"I'm ready." The Frumpy Fairy Godmother glides in and has a seat.
"It's Friday night, so it's date night. Perhaps Trinity went out and is among Slim's sheep."
Delmonico is shocked the FFg would be so mean as to say something like that about Trinity. Being mean to Trinity is his job. ;D ;D in what modern sick-alogical types would call a role reversal situation Delmonico picks up the FFg's wand and turns her into a salamander. :o :o :o He then picks her up and drops her in a jar and screws on the lid. :o :o :o
But since he has a kind heart, he punches some holes in the lid and goes out and finds that bag of flour he trew away yesterday. He gets out some flour weevils and puts them in the jar so she has something to eat. ;D
Ah, but since Delmonico is a novice, newbie, wannabe wand spinner, he doesn't really know what he is doing and since the Frumpy Fairy Godmother isn't exactly totally human (Okie, she isn't real, but don't tell her that), he turns her into a mythical salamander.
She quickly breathes fire at the jar, burns a hole in the side and wriggles free. Mythological salamanders move very rapidly and she flurries up GopherGrease to his head, incidentally and accidentally setting his hair on fire, then leaps to Delmonico's head, setting his hair on fire. Jumping down, she recaptures the wand, giving it a flip.
Wand in hand and sitting at the table in her pretty new dress, she raises a brow at her dinner partners' hair.
Quote from: AnnieLee on March 25, 2005, 08:13:47 PM
"I'm ready." The Frumpy Fairy Godmother glides in and has a seat.
"It's Friday night, so it's date night. Perhaps Trinity went out and is among Slim's sheep."
Trinity slams the kitchen door open and enters: "LOOK! >:( >:( >:( Ah done hert what ya said!! When Ah sayd that Ah lahked laig of lamb, that mint on a plate fer dinner! OK! Now enough of them jokes!!! Ah don' like farm animals lahk that!!!"
Trinity huffs for a moment, then conciders leaving. Smelling the Veal changes his mind so he stomps over to his chair. Seated, he slurps at the wine and then picks up his fork and knife and waits, then proclaims: "Ich dachte es gäbe deutsches heute abend?!"
The sight and scent of the burning hair mesmerizes the Frumpy Fairy Godmother, but she darts a glance to Trinity. "Nein liebling Trinity, wir italienische Speise heute Abend. Bitte kommen Sie und essen Sie?"
With a small cough, she repeats herself in English, leaving out the little term of endearment, "Uh.. no, Trinity, we are having Italian food tonight. Please, join us?"
Oel da Scheirsheitsmutter un da Verrgasser. ;D ;D ;D Karbineer 98, Gewar 98 und Fallensmajaeger. Messerschmicht 109, Junkers 88. Obendorf Mauser drilling, vierling. Pffffffft ta ya's both. ;D ;D ;D Pumpenickel, Hassenphaeffer, Sauerbraten.
Trinity nods, smiles and raises a glass to Miss FFG. "Schade, aber". Then upon hearing one mention of the word Oel from Delmonico (That in combination with the comedy of his burned off hair at which Trinity is trying his hardest not to laugh) causes Trinity to leap from the table and run away.
Delmonico comes in to the living room where the FFg is knitting. "here maam is a peace offering a bottle of imported perfume, I hope you will forgive me fer the salamander in-so-dent," ;D ;D ;D
He turns and leaves before the FFg can read the label:" Ode de Round Pink Cake, Privy Stock." ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ::) ::) ::) :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P ;)
Delmonico then hides in the cellar. :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o
Later in the day, when Delmonico comes out from hiding to use the Wegewood porcelain, he finds it carries the scent of his "perfume." So does the outhouse.
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So do all his quilts and sooguns.
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And any pillows he has.
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Duke almost got sprayed, but the Frumpy Fairy Godmother knows men, and how they have this weird conditioned reflex to urinate on the pink cake, so she spared Duke. For which he is very, very grateful.
;D
:o :o :o
Affraid to get caught up in the midst of this battle an not quite sure how the "pink cake" bacame involved, Trinity decides it is time to disappear. He removes his boot and tiptoes out the door, carrying it with him. Outside he puts it back on and runs as fast as he can.
Delmonico notices that the wierd little green light that is on the FFg's door has gone out, so he knows she is asleep. He then goes down in the cellar and gets a large box and carries it upstairs. It was 70 today and knowing he would most likey need them he went out and gathered a bunch of skinks. (not skunks)
He then slips all 199 under the edge of the door and then puts a towel along the bottom to keep them from coming out.
The skinks burst into the Frumpy Fairy Godmother's bedroom, run around in circles, swarm over the furniture, create general havoc, then stream out her open window to freedom. The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gives a small snorting snore in her sleep then rolls over. :D
(http://www.fcps.k12.va.us/StratfordLandingES/Ecology/Reptiles/Five-lined%20Skink/E.fasciatus3.jpg)
Delmonico is out in the yard and walks by just below the FFg's window and sees the pile of 199 skinks with broken necks layin' there. :P :P :P :P all he can do is utter, "Leapin' Lizards!" ;D ;D ;D ;D
Delmonico miscounts the skinks, there's only 198 of them laying there. The 199th one somehow, perhaps magically, appears in the coffee cup in his hand.
:D
Delmonico looks at the skink that has been scalded in the hot coffee, he tosses it in the pile and rinses the cup and refills it. ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother makes her way downstairs and pours a cup of coffee. Smiling as she adds fresh milk to the brew,
"I feel refreshed this morning, as though 796 tiny hands gave me a message while I slept."
Delmonico pours himself another cup and laughs to himself* as he tries to remember how Grandma made her currant rolls she always made on Easter.
*skink #78 only had three legs. ;D
* Skink # 124's parents were #16 and #20, brother and sister who grew up around Trinity's still. Skink # 124 had five legs. :P
Delmonico goes out and digs through the pile of dead skinks and finds #124. ??? ??? He takes it inside washes it in the sink and puts it in a jar and covers it with some of Trinity's home brew and screws on the lid. ::) ::) He then places the jar on the mantle of the fireplace and puts a sign down on the public road. ;D ;D
See the 5 legged skink $1
Duke, as well as being a smart dog, is a curious dog. He sees the object on top of the mantle and puts his front paws on the mantle to have a sniff. It smells like his good buddy Trinity!! He wags his tail, but nothing happens. He gives a bark, but nothing happens. So, he nudges it with his nose. Ooops!!
Down the jar goes, smashing in a million pieces. Must not be Trinity after all, but it still smells like him. Look, water! Duke laps that up quickly, and sniffs around some more, staggering a little. Oh LOOK!! A TREAT!!
Old #124 is chomped up, but Duke has had enough of Trinity's brew and falls over, passed out, the tail of the munched skink sticking out of his mouth.
:D
Delmonico comes in see's Duke and realizes his "Cash Cow" is gone. ::) ::) ::) He also decides that Trinity is a bad influence on dogs. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Delmonico gets his currant buns done, they taste about like Grandma's but Grandma's were never that large. ;) ;)
Trinity returns to the house after hiding out over night at still location number seven. He removes his boot and tiptoes up the steps up to the porch and across to the front door. Inside he continues to tiptoe through the livingroom where he finds duke passed out in front of the fire place. Bending to pet his buddy, he sees the swept up glass container and judges the size. Trinity is very knowledgable about these states and estimates that Duke will sleep another two hours, twelve minutes and thirty two seconds (this, of course, is based on fullness of the jar and the fact that Trinity was unaware of the inbred skink).
Tiptoeing on to the kitchen, Trinity peeks in and sees the FFG sipping coffee. He sniffs the air and notices the lack of "Ode du Pink Cake" and notices the look of contentment on her face and breathes out silently "Whew!"
He dons his boot and enters the kitchen with a smile: "Howdy Miss FFg, How are you doin' today? Didja sleep wail last naht? How did duke git into the recipe??"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother rises to kiss Trinity on his cheek. "I had a very good day, thank you! It seems that Delmonico pickled a lizard in a jar and Duke ate it. I don't think it was poisonous, I saw Duke's feet twitching a little while ago. Speaking of which..." She takes a pointed look to Trinity's feet. "I think you should get a new pair of boots in the next few days, don't you? You'll be walking lopsided before long with just one boot."
"Ah done been walkin' lahk this sin' Faibyu-airy 19th. Ah done lost it when Ah visited that waggon-o-girls! 'Member, that was when y'all lef' me!? >:(
Hmpf! Don't matter now, Ah done ordert me a new set from that there Muntgummery Ward catalog company. It was funny. Ah was jest 'bout ta fill in tha hole when Ah saw them boots on the page. Ah jerked the page out an' scraped the mess off an' gave the page to the passing pony 'spress rider.
Thanks fer the con-scern, though, miss FFG. ;D ;D ;D"
Delmonico comes in after eatin' supper at his Folks's. There is a smile cause there we deviled eggs, but noone makes real deviled eggs so he took some of his new batch of pepper sauce to eat on them. It looks like dark red applesauce and is firy, flaming, hellfire hot but flavorful. ;D
He grabs the passed out dog by the tail and slides him in the corner where no one will trip on him in the night. He also takes the broken glass outside and buries it. ;D the pickled 5 legged lizard comes back to life and runs out of the house, trips on the step and hides in the Lilac bush. ::)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother stands there a moment, baffled. How did her concern for Trinity's feet somehow get twisted into yet another conversation about poop? And she didn't remember leaving him, he ran off after a bath. She rubs her temple with her index finger.
"I'mmmmmm... Uh... I'm glad you are getting new boots."
"Yeah, but when Ah come back weren't nobody here. :'("
"Trinity, I think you need to change your recipe a little. It is making you maudalin." The Frumpy Fairy Godmother wipes one of his tears away with her thumb, leaving a clean streak on his face in the process, then hugs him.
Delmonico hears all this and says it's simple, get him some 90% tin, 10% silver solder and have him rebuild his stills, the 50% lead, 50% tin solder he used is the problem, I seen a roll of it out in the shed with the solderin' coppers. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: AnnieLee on March 28, 2005, 06:16:26 AM
"Trinity, I think you need to change your recipe a little. It is making you maudalin." The Frumpy Fairy Godmother wipes one of his tears away with her thumb, leaving a clean streak on his face in the process, then hugs him.
"Ah ain' chaingin' mah recipe! Mah great great great Gan' Pappy done taught me this here recipe when Ah was jest a wee young'un. Here, have a try, it's goooood! :)" With a smile Trinity holds his jug up to the FFG in offering.
Quote from: Delmonico on March 28, 2005, 10:45:42 AM
Delmonico hears all this and says it's simple, get him some 90% tin, 10% silver solder and have him rebuild his stills, the 50% lead, 50% tin solder he used is the problem, I seen a roll of it out in the shed with the solderin' coppers. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
"Ah hert that! >:( >:( Sometimes Ah don' think you'll be happy till Ahm daid!"
Noooooo, I'm trying to save you, if the FFg really cared she would have checked it out, the lead ain't goo for you, the silver solder would be much better. ;D ;D Sides that if you were Daaaaid I'd have to abuse Slim more, he got cranky while you we're gone, 'specially the penstrom/black helly-copter problem. ::) ::) ::)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother stares when she hears about the lead solder in the stills.
"Trinity, you have to use tin and silver. Lead is what made all the women go nuts in the old days, their face powder had lead in it! That's why most of us ladies don't put much powder on our faces now, well other than harlots and whores use face paint... Anyway, I digress. I'll help you resolder your stills if you want, and I won't tell anyone where they are. If I do, you can use my wand to turn me into a chipmunk."
Quote from: Delmonico on March 28, 2005, 12:06:25 PM
Noooooo, I'm trying to save you, if the FFg really cared she would have checked it out, the lead ain't goo for you, the silver solder would be much better. ;D ;D Sides that if you were Daaaaid I'd have to abuse Slim more, he got cranky while you we're gone, 'specially the penstrom/black helly-copter problem. ::) ::) ::)
Trinity is confused. His knowledge of metallurgy almost non-existent but he is sure that current Tin still contains high contents of lead and mentions this to Delmonico. "Besides, That's what gives it it's characteristic flavour ;D ;D."
Quote from: AnnieLee on March 28, 2005, 12:12:26 PM
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother stares when she hears about the lead solder in the stills.
"Trinity, you have to use tin and silver. Lead is what made all the women go nuts in the old days, their face powder had lead in it! That's why most of us ladies don't put much powder on our faces now, well other than harlots and whores use face paint... Anyway, I digress. I'll help you resolder your stills if you want, and I won't tell anyone where they are. If I do, you can use my wand to turn me into a chipmunk."
"Mah Great great great gran' pappy use' ta tell us young'uns that we needed ta lose our minds a little cuz that's how we could ever handle bein' with our wives. Ah lef them mountains afore gettin married, so Ah still don' know what he was talkin' 'bout. ::) ::)
Ah 'ppreciate yore offer ta help, but usin' your magical stick ta turn you into a chipmunk ain' no prize cuze yore already a chipmunk. 'Least, you look like one with that there blue hat on. ;D ;D ;D ;D"
"Trinity, get the lead out, lead affects the nervous system, the gasto-intestinal system and the reproductive system."
"Despite the commnon sayin, ya don't want lead in yer pencil." ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) :D
Ever so helpfully, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother adds, "Lead is a soft metal. Lead in your uh... pencil will make it go soft."
Oh, she spoke before she thought, and she coughs as her face turns a brilliant shade of red. She quickly turns away to refresh her coffee.
(http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/icon_redface.gif)(http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/icon_redface.gif)(http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/icon_redface.gif)
Embarassed, Trinity loudly exclaims: "They ain' nothin' wrong with mah recipe, mah recipe makin' aparatus...
...
...
or mah pencil either!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The comment about her blue hat finally sinks in. The Frumpy Fairy Godmother takes it off and proceeds to thwack Trinity with it, each thwack accompanied by a word:
"I <thwack> dp <thwack> not <thwack> look <thwack> like <thwack> a <thwack> chipmunk! <thwack>"
Delmonico had a great idea for a post, but the large knot on his head throbbed and he decides to lay back down and play dead. ;D ;D
Wait that was another thread he was playin' dead, but it still might be a smart move. ::)
Upon posting the last message, the Author was thinking to himself that he was glad that Trinity had not made the FFG angry as of yet and that Trinity's words about the Avatar must not have upset the FFG. Oh well, how could he expect his (or Trinity's) luck to continue for ever?
"Ouch, ouch, wai-ouuch, wait..ouch, I'm sorry ouch, ouch, ouch!!! That ain' no ordinary hat, it hurts!" Trinity bends and picks up the pink band and hands it to her as a peace offering: "Ah din' mean to o-ffend you, Miss FFG! I am truly sorry!!!
Ah meant ta say squirrel!"
( < AnnieLee presses the pause button on the Frumpy Fairy Godmother for a moment> Ok, now I gotta know. What avatar? What blue hat with a pink band? I don't remember having an avatar with a blue hat and pink band. Is Trinity's author talking about Milt, the stuffed dummy with the Pilgrim's hat? Or has Trinity's author been dipping into the recipe??)
(While Trinity's author has indeed been dipping into a recipe, it hasn't been Trinity's. <Campbell's recipe, if you must know. I think I found the piece of chicken!!!> Anyhow, the author was wholly unaware that "Milt" had a name and was not intended to represent the FFG. ...or anyone for that matter.
The author pulls his own cast iron skillet out of the drawer... but in the end decides not to hit himself with it. If he's to be punished, he'd rather not do the dealing. ;D ;D ;D)
(http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/yellowrose.gif)(http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/yellowrose.gif)(http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/yellowrose.gif)
Trinity, the hat is worse than the skillet, it is a late 1970's vintage, leather, I'm goin to a Waylon Jennings concert hat. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
(Naw, Del, he's talking about Milt's hat, not my thwapping hat! Milt is the poor flatlander who moved West and tried to make a living out of turkey ranching. He was the subject of the first shoot where I wrote the stages, for Thanksgiving weekend. We haven't shot there since, because of the rasafrassing weather. But I better push the play button before the Frumpy Fairy Godmother's film melts under the bulb. < Pushes the button> )
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother's hand stops, mid-thwack. "A... squirrel? You think I look like a squirrel??"
She drops her hat to the floor and goes outside, too upset to speak any further.
Quote from: Delmonico on March 28, 2005, 03:51:45 PM
Trinity, the hat is worse than the skillet, it is a late 1970's vintage, leather, I'm goin to a Waylon Jennings concert hat. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
I was a mite young at that time. Important to me was laying in front of the TV with my head propped up watching ...
THE DUKES OF HAZZARD!!! Yes, I was too young to go see Waylon in concert, but every Friday night he narrated my favorited television show!! Thank you CMT for bringing the boys back every weekday at 7:00pm (shameless plug)
Anyway, not a stranger to the Outlaws' (Waylon, Willie and the boys... as the song goes) music, I can put a picture together of what you might be alluding to.
Quote from: AnnieLee on March 28, 2005, 04:03:40 PM
(Naw, Del, he's talking about Milt's hat, not my thwapping hat! Milt is the poor flatlander who moved West and tried to make a living out of turkey ranching. He was the subject of the first shoot where I wrote the stages, for Thanksgiving weekend. We haven't shot there since, because of the rasafrassing weather. But I better push the play button before the Frumpy Fairy Godmother's film melts under the bulb. < Pushes the button> )
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother's hand stops, mid-thwack. "A... squirrel? You think I look like a squirrel??"
She drops her hat to the floor and goes outside, too upset to speak any further.
(Good to know some history about Milt ;D ;D ;D)
"Wait, Ah'm sorry!!!!!" Trinity runs out the door after the FFG with a clop, thud, clop, thud, clop, thud...
I almost died at a Wylon concert, it was not Waylon's fault, but it involved steep stairs, some er lots of sourmash, some green stuff in rice paper and a pair of Tony's with a ridin' heel. :o :o :o :o :o :o
( So, I got distracted. I had to go find the Minetonka hat of mine that Del calls the Waylon Jennings concert hat. This is my thwacking hat. The filename has forty in it, because I hit Forty Rod with it... a LOT. :D )
Based on some of Del's prior coments, I would have never pictured him in such a state!!!!
Yep, that's the hat I had pictured. There's a word that comes to mind and it starts with red. I wouldn't have expected you to own one of them, Miss Annie!
(Gosh, Trinity, I've tilled the garden, planted seed, hoed, weeded, dug holes, ran a backhoe, fixed roads, worked on the range, and shot in that hat, among other things. It's a great working hat, it keeps the sun and the rain off. It's been sat on, left in the trunk, left in the backseat, left in the truck, chewed on by the dogs.. the wire in the brim is too misshapen to ever recover. It's a great hat. Insult the hat and I get Elle. :D AnnieLee)
Besides, Trinity. If she whacked with Milt's hat, people would probably all be sufferin' from paper cuts. ::) ;D
Quote from: AnnieLee on March 28, 2005, 05:26:25 PM
(Gosh, Trinity, I've tilled the garden, planted seed, hoed, weeded, dug holes, ran a backhoe, fixed roads, worked on the range, and shot in that hat, among other things. It's a great working hat, it keeps the sun and the rain off. It's been sat on, left in the trunk, left in the backseat, left in the truck, chewed on by the dogs.. the wire in the brim is too misshapen to ever recover. It's a great hat. Insult the hat and I get Elle. :D AnnieLee)
:o :o :o "Oh no, no insults, Miss Annie!!! None, 'tall!!
Quote from: Russ T Chambers on March 28, 2005, 06:00:29 PM
Besides, Trinity. If she whacked with Milt's hat, people would probably all be sufferin' from paper cuts. ::) ;D
Trinity's first inclination is to laugh out loud at that statement but for fear of a much worse retribution, Trinity sits with his mouth shut snickering silently.
Quote from: Trinity on March 28, 2005, 07:11:24 PM
Quote from: Russ T Chambers on March 28, 2005, 06:00:29 PM
Besides, Trinity. If she whacked with Milt's hat, people would probably all be sufferin' from paper cuts. ::) ;D
Trinity's first inclination is to laugh out loud at that statement but for fear of a much worse retribution, Trinity sits with his mouth shut snickering silently.
(Laugh long and hearty, Trinity, it is a paper hat! :P :D)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother stands on the porch, regaining her composure. She looks out in the direction of Wisconsin.
"I hope Slim is ok."
Author thinks you guys sure had a lot of fun while Slim was gone.
Slim rides up to the ranch house. "Afternoon, FFg. How ya been since I last say ya?"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gives a small squeal of delight, runs across the porch, down the steps, across the yard and flings herself into the air to hug Slim while he is still on his horse. Her momentum carries her over the horse, flopping her down on the ground, throwing her skirt up over her head. She flails at her skirt and petticoats a moment, then clears her face. Half sitting, half splayed on the ground, she smiles up to Slim and speaks in a clear, dignified voice.
"I've been well, thank you. Trinity thinks I look like a squirrel."
Slim discreetly looks in the direction of the porch when the FFg's skirt is displaced. "May I help you to your feet?"
"Not from up there on your horse you can't!" She laughs, getting up on her own and flouncing some of the mud and dirt from her clothing.
"Well, are you going to stay or not?"
Slim gets off his horse and give the FFg a BIG hug. "I think I'll stay fer awhile." ;D
She returns the hug joyously. "Good!" Added in a low voice, "you don't think I look like a squirrel, do you?"
Delmonico looks out ta see what all the noise is and sets another plate. ;D
Quote from: AnnieLee on March 29, 2005, 02:49:11 PM
She returns the hug joyously. "Good!" Added in a low voice, "you don't think I look like a squirrel, do you?"
"No! Trinity must be indulging in his recipe still." ::)
"Trinity is using lead in his solder. We are trying to convince him to convert to silver, but he's balking."
She gives him a pat on the arm. "I'll see you inside after you care for your horse."
"Okay. I'll see ya in a few minutes." Slim takes care of his horse and lets it loose in the corral. He goes into the house and walks into the kitchen to find some grub after the long ride.
Food, are we eating now?
Delmonico goes and gets some of that year old hardtack leftover from the Civil War lecture a year ago. :P
"here Slim this was laying around up in my gun room, it will have to hold you till I'm done with supper. And it will be done when I'm good and ready and not until." >:( >:(
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother goes upstairs to her cupola to wash up and change for dinner.
As she goes, she is humming under her breath, "I don't look like a squir-rel..."
Quote from: Delmonico on March 29, 2005, 04:08:39 PM
Delmonico goes and gets some of that year old hardtack leftover from the Civil War lecture a year ago. :P
"here Slim this was laying around up in my gun room, it will have to hold you till I'm done with supper. And it will be done when I'm good and ready and not until." >:( >:(
"Who put the burr under yer saddle, Del?"
Nobody, it's just part of my perrsona, cooks are always surly in the movies. ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on March 29, 2005, 05:51:33 PM
Nobody, it's just part of my perrsona, cooks are always surly in the movies. ;D
That's fer sure. ;D
Ya ever notice in the movies The Duke only backed down once and 'polized to any one, and yes it was a cook. "Mr. Nightlinger skeeered him with that big butcher knife. ;D Even John Wayne can't have pie with out askin' the cook. ;D
"Pah!!?? Did someone say pah?? Mah fav-o-rite is cherry. Did you put any cherry pre-serves away last year, Del? Ah want me some cherry pah to-night. (http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/Pie.gif)
Welcome back, Sleeum!! We done hert that you hat an accident with the winds. Mah recipe is good fer that, ya know. Mah great granma always tolt me so. Ya want some? Got us a fresh batch here!
Now, don' you listen none to Miss FFG bout mah thinkin' she was a squirrel. It was an honest mis-take. She flits around here and there lahk a squirrel does An' <<whisper on and very ernest voice>> Ah could swear that she's savin' nuts up yonder in that thar room of hern, uh-huh <<whisper off>>"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother walks downstairs to the kitchen looking respendent in a green dress with black trim. She isn't wearing a hat, but has feathers woven into her hair.
She pauses at the kitchen door, hearing most of what Trinity had to say. She can't make out the end of it.
"Is his accent getting worse? We've got to get him to change the solder on his stills!"
Author's note: No, Trinity's accent is not growing stronger. As you, the reader, become more accustomed to his accent you will be treated with something new. If you were thrown the full force of his accent at once you would never be able to comprehend. I have often times erased what I wrote only to write in a more clear text. (Trust me... I have to actually read this stuff from co-workers, it is real!!!!).
Southernese is not just a pamphlet that northerners buy in the gift shops when vacationing in the south so that they can laugh at us when they return their water coolers. No, it is much more complex than that. And, well... perhaps the recipe does sometimes aid in making things more difficult. ;D ;D ;D
Trinity stops whispering to Slim and turns his attention to the FFG as she enters: "Shoooeeey, Miss FFG!! You Shore look Purty. You don' look like no squirrel 'tall!! Nope, not 'tall!"
Delmonico comes in and says, "Dang it took so long, I just made dinner instead, it's roast bird, but not sure what kind, it was flyin' round here the other day, so GG shot it." ;D
"Howdy, Trinity. Del just made up that story about the wind. It really didn't happen." ::) ::) ::)
"Del, was is Sandy Hill crane?"
"FFg, ya sure look purdy in that outfit?"
Naw I think it twas a "Red Headed Iggle" they came back just the other day, saw 'bout 4 dozen ridin' the thermals. Ya got us a photy-graf of a red headed iggle Slim. ;D
(http://www.tdroddaphoto.com/PHOTOS/Turkey%20Vulture.jpg)
That's it a "Red Headed Iggle" Trinity better get the lead out or the Red Headed Iggles is gonna be eating him fer dinner. And then they gonna get lead poisin' from eatin' the lead incrusted Trinity. Next thing the EPA and the black helly-copters is gonna be out here tryin' ta find out what caused the Red Headed Iggle die-off. ??? ??? ??? ;)
Well ya all know we gonna blame Slim, cause the FFg done told us every thin' is Slim's fault. Wonder where the black helly-copters is gonna take him this time fer poisinin' the Red Headed Iggles. Trinity's gonna be already et up so he won't be able to help. I'm scared to tell the truth or the FFg gonna turn me inta a Creek Chub. ::) ::)
They already gonna suspect Slim, they still got his number over the Pensrtom mishap. :D
Oh well guess I'll start supper, gonna need two less plates I bet, Trinity's gonna get et by the Red Headed Iggles, Slim's gonna get a black helly-copter ride. Every one else, baked ham and deviled eggs fer supper, real deviled eggs, not them wimp things that folks make fer Easter and Picnics, ya gotta drown the durn things in pepper sauce to be-devil em. ;D ;D
"Dem big black locusts ain't gonna git me. I still have that "toy" that GG gave me fer the flyin' pie plates." ;D ;D ;D
"By the by, dem "Red Headed Iggles" ain't back to Wiscoooooooooosin, yet."
Quote from: Delmonico on March 30, 2005, 12:14:18 PM
Delmonico comes in and says, "Dang it took so long, I just made dinner instead, it's roast bird, but not sure what kind, it was flyin' round here the other day, so GG shot it." ;D
"That's what mah mama said that time when them folks from the fooooture was at the homestead "filmin'" us (as they called it) fer somethin' called a dok-u-men-tary. They said they wuz gonna call it "Trinity is Still My Name" "(Approx. 19 min. into the movie ;D ;D ;D )
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on March 30, 2005, 02:03:52 PM
"Howdy, Trinity. Del just made up that story about the wind. It really didn't happen." ::) ::) ::)
...
"Don'tcha worry none, Slim. Ah won' be tellin' no one bout the winds! ;) ;)"
Just as she starts to blush, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother flickers out of existence, leaving behind some glittering sawdust. She reappears a few moments later, looking a little disoriented.
"That was odd."
Trinity rides up after a long, hard day at the stills. He dismounts his horse and packs him away for the evening. Upon reaching the front door he finds a little yellow slip of paper on which is written a note from the express rider stating that he had been by with a package and he was sorry that he had missed Trinity. For Trinity's convenience, he left the package in the office up the road a bit. Unfortunately, the office is always closed by the time Trinity gets back from the stills, so he'll have to wait until Saturday. "Dern it... guess Ah gotta wait a little while longer fer mah new boots!"
Trinity enters the house and finds the FFG frazzled and in disarray. "What in tarnation is going on with you!? Is everything ok??"
"I don't know, Trinity, it was like I have a gap in my memory, like I didn't exist for a little while. It was discombobulating! I think you should leave the stills early tomorrow and go get that package!"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother nods several times to make her point.
Slim walks in the kitchen, stirs the coals in the stove, puts in a few stick, make coffee, and puts it on the stove to heat. He sit at the table to wait for the coffee.
WOW! 200 pages. ;D
Delmonico comes out and gets a cup, he goes back into his office. He takes some notes, cause he is takin' a Cory-spon-dunce course in some new field of science called sick-coll-agy. He started this thead to study folks and write his theis. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
He is begaining to wonder though why the letters from the Doctor over in Austria keep havin' white powder on them. ::) ::) :o :o ;D ;D :D
Slim wakes with drool in his beard. He wipes it off with his shirt sleeve. He notices the coffee is streaming so he gets a cup, goes out to check for eggs, and milk the cow.
Drool in his beard? :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P
Slim comes back into the kitchen with a dozen brown eggs and a gallon of milk. He puts them in the ice box.
Delmonico notices that now instead of drool in his beard, Slim has now got milk froth. Delmonico does not want to know why. :o :o :o :o :o :o :o
Quote from: AnnieLee on March 30, 2005, 08:15:26 PM
"I don't know, Trinity, it was like I have a gap in my memory, like I didn't exist for a little while. It was discombobulating! I think you should leave the stills early tomorrow and go get that package!"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother nods several times to make her point.
"Ah 'ppologize Miss FFG, but Ah din't make it back in tahm. Mebbe tomorry. What is so all fahr'd important? Are you still dis... uh, dis... uh, dis-combobberlatered? Whatever that is, Ah wan' you ta try this." Trinity holds up a jug "This'll hailp fer shore!!" ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D 8)
Quote from: Delmonico on March 31, 2005, 03:33:36 PM
Delmonico notices that now instead of drool in his beard, Slim has no got milk froth. Delmonico does not want to know why. :o :o :o :o :o :o :o
"You gettin' your drank dye-rektly from the tap, Slim??"
Thats what scares me. ;D ;D ;D ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother takes a swig from the jug then gives Trinity a smooch on the cheek. With a wan smile, she gives a hopeful look to the eggs and has a seat at the kitchen table. In a few moments, her eyes lose focus and close. Her head drifts forward, then drops, slowly, slowly, until her face is on the table and she is drooling in her hair.
"What did you guys do to the FFg?!?!" >:(
"Miss FFG!!" Trinity pats her face a few times and wonders why women keep fainting in his presence. This can't be a good thing.
Trinity looks up at Slim "Ah don' know what the matter is. This ain' no 'specially strong brew."
He turns his attention back to The FFG: "Miss FFG! C'mon back, now! Someone brang me a rag so's Ah kin clean this drool out of her hair, it ain' very becommin' "
"SNNNNNRRRRRRRK.........SNNNNNRRRRRRRK........."
"Alright fellers, this rag ain' gonna do it! Someone git me a pail an one of them sponges to sop it up!!"
She stops snoring and turns her head so the other cheek is against the table, and starts mumbling in her sleep.
"mmmrrpphh... oh yeah, baby, like that... yeah..mmrrpp...snrrk.. oh.. oh.. OH!"
:o
"OH!!"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother's head jerks up and she sees Trinity looking at her with a shocked expression on his face. HER face turns a lovely shade of magenta.
"Uh.. where am I?"
Sheepishly, Trinity begins to answer: "Uh... wail... uh, yore home, Miss FFG, whar do you think you are?" Trinity pulls his jug off the table and hides it behind his back. He would look to the others for help, but they all sidled out when The FFG began acting strangely.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother is too sleepy and out of it to lie effectively... and she never was a good liar to begin with.
"I.... uh.. I was getting a rub."
"Is there any coffee?"
Delmonico come to the door from the kitchen, he leaves and comes back and sandbags the door to the kitchen. :D :D "Keep that durned slopper out a my kitchen. :P :P And get a squeege and push it out in the yard. It's as bad as Slim and his milk foam in his beard." ::) ::)
Trinity pours two cups of coffee and takes The FFG out to the porch where the evening is quite mild. He is worried about her because it has been a week since Delmonico let the skinks loose in her cupola and if these dreams continue, perhaps there might be some deep seated perversion that must be addressed.
Delmonico watches what is going on and goes into his office and writes some more on his thesis. :D
"Dr' Freud will love this", he says to himself. ;D
Well, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother isn't going to say that there are rubs, then there are rubs (different ways and different places), and that dreams are only dreams and that sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. She just sits in the swing, enjoying the evening and the company.
Delmonico writes, "and Dr. Freud, I think part of the problem is that two of them are sufferin' acute lead poisin' caused by lead solder on a still. One thinks he is in Porty-gaul and one thinks he travels to the Future. The one with the red beard is really an intersting case. I will include more about him in my next letter. He will take up many pages to annie-lise." ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Trinity makes the short trip to the express office and retrieves his package from Montgomery and Ward. He is very excited to be able to finally protect both of his feet while roaming the thorny, wooded and rocky areas where his stills lay. He rapidly yanks the boots on and goes about his way. After only a short while, he is in agony. Not understanding why, he pulls his boots off to massage his feet. Immediately his feet feel better. He examines the boots in the hopes to understand what is wrong with them. He looks at them, in them, then pulls the paper and cardboard out. Finding nothing wrong, he stuffs the paper back inside and, with great effort, puts the boots back on, shrugs and limps about his business.
"Trinity, I think you's suppose to take the paper and cardboard outta the boots 'fore ya put them on."
Monday morning brings the Frumpy Fairy Godmother rushing up the steps to the porch, her skirts gathered in her hands to keep from tripping on them.
"Is Slim back, yet? He's got baby chickens!!"
Trinity gingerly staggers back to the house kind of looking like a dog with scotch tap on his paws. He's been drinking most of the day to try to forget about the pain of the new boots. When Trinity reaches the top of the steps Slim suggest again the trick about leaving the paper and cardboard out of the boots before wearing them. Trinity just stands and stares at him.
"Why on earth would they put the paper in them bootsh if ya gotta take it out when ya buy them, that's jus' plain shilly! ::)
Baby shicksh?? MMMM, Boy! Delmonico, ya got any good recipes fer baby shicksh?? Mah mammy use ta pull them fleathersh off an thow em in flar then inta erl... innerds an' all. Tasshy lil shuckers!!" ;D ;D ;D ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gives Trinity a look that would melt a glacier. Het voice is nearly a snarl.
"You don't touch the baby chicks. The paper in your boots is so they'll hold their shape when they are shipped. You are supposed to take it out before you put them on."
I don't have no recipe's fer baby chicks, but Gopher Grease has one fer baby ducks he learn't over in the Filly-peens. But ya gots to catch dem afore they hatches out. :P :P :P
Quote from: Delmonico on April 01, 2005, 10:46:05 PM
One thinks he is in Porty-gaul
Could be worse. I could have been convinced that I was the one who sold Louisiana to the United States of America. ;D
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on April 05, 2005, 02:58:31 AM
Quote from: Delmonico on April 01, 2005, 10:46:05 PM
One thinks he is in Porty-gaul
Could be worse. I could have been convinced that I was the one who sold Louisiana to the United States of America. ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother smiles at Scattered Thumbs. It would take a lot of gall to have a Napoleonic complex. And if you thought you were Napolean then ate food with Delmonico's castor oil, we could say you were "potty gall."
:D
Quote from: AnnieLee on April 05, 2005, 04:39:47 AM
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on April 05, 2005, 02:58:31 AM
Quote from: Delmonico on April 01, 2005, 10:46:05 PM
One thinks he is in Porty-gaul
Could be worse. I could have been convinced that I was the one who sold Louisiana to the United States of America. ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother smiles at Scattered Thumbs. It would take a lot of gall to have a Napoleonic complex. And if you thought you were Napolean then ate food with Delmonico's castor oil, we could say you were "potty gall."
:D
Now you skeered me. ;D
Having spent the night out near the chicken coop to protect the cute chicks from the evil intents of Trinity, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother looks a little worse for wear and tear. She winks to Scattered Thumbs, then mumbles:
"If Trinity goes after those chicks, I am going to turn him into a worm and toss him into the coop."
Quote from: AnnieLee on April 05, 2005, 06:15:35 AM
"If Trinity goes after those chicks, I am going to turn him into a worm and toss him into the coop."
Be afwaid Twinity. Be vewy afwaid.
(Author's side note: When I saw that Napolean avatar, I nearly spewed coffee on my monitor. :D Thanks, ST!)
Yer welcome ;D
huh!? What do you mean, Napoleon Avatar? ::)
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on April 05, 2005, 07:13:09 AM
Yer welcome ;D
huh!? What do you mean, Napoleon Avatar? ::)
I missed it. :'(
Slim
"Nobody is gonna cook dem chicks 'til they is full grown." >:( >:( >:( >:(
Trinity decides today is not a good day to go to the stills. He thinks hiding in his room from the FFG's wrath is a better idea. He is still not sure why she was so incensed about his new menu idea.
Thinking about it causes Trinity to smack his lips in hunger.
(Dang, I missed out on Napoleon too!)
Trinity opens his door an inch and peeks. He dashes down the hall to the kitchen where he grabs two biscuits from a pile on the table and runs back to his room.
While Trinity is hiding, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother is upstairs in her cupola, reading glasses perched on her nose, pouring over her books. That lead had to be affecting Trinity's mind if he wanted to kill cute baby chicks. She knew she couldn't turn lead into gold, but there had to be a wand sequence somewhere in the books to turn lead into silver.
Outside his door Trinity could be heard emulating baby chicks:
"Peep Peep ... Peep ..... Peep"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother pauses in her perusal, tilting her head to listen. After a moment, she slaps her glasses down on her desk, picks up her wand and leaves her room. She stands outside Trinity's door, listening again.
"Peep Peep ... Peep ..... Peep"
"Peep Peep ... Peep ..... Peep"
Her eyes widen and she clenches her wand so tightly her knuckles turn white.
"Delmonico! Gopher Grease! Get up here! Trinity has the chicks and he's gonna kill them!"
Pardon the confused foreigner ??? With only limited knowledge of the English language.
I thought that "babes" and "cute chicks" were the same thing. I'm lost here (http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/icon_mrgreen.gif)
"Delmonico says, I think that's just Trinity peeping, looks like all the chicks are there. Just get him another jug or two, we will be able to melt him down and make bullets soon."D ;D ;D ;D
<Durned furrieeners, don't know why they think they should uderstand a language that has many words that sound and are spelled the same or different spellings for the same word or ever worsd spelled the same but prounounced different or even other such thinks, heck I can't 'splain it and I live here."
"The soldier that was about to desert, ate his dessert in the desert." ;D ;D ;D ;D
Slim comes in from collecting eggs and milking the cow. He DOES NOT have milk foam in his mustache or beard! >:( HE puts the eggs and milk in the ice box. He pours himself a cup of coffee, gets a biscuit, and sits down at the table to break the fast. ;)
Quote from: Delmonico on April 06, 2005, 09:07:48 AM<Durned furrieeners, don't know why they think they should uderstand a language that has many words that sound and are spelled the same or different spellings for the same word or ever worsd spelled the same but prounounced different or even other such thinks, heck I can't 'splain it and I live here."
You should try
my language ;D
ie.
In Portuguese:
Como? Como como? Como como como.
meaning:
What? How I eat? I eat as I eat.
Bad translation into English
What? What what? What what what. ;D
Delmonico notices raw egg yolk in Slim's beard. ::)
Quote from: Delmonico on April 06, 2005, 11:31:55 AM
Delmonico notices raw egg yolk in Slim's beard. ::)
Slim
IS NOT an egg sucker. He got that when he was eating the "sunnyside up" eggs he made after he eat the biscuit.
"Now why is it ok fer Shlim ta eat aigs but it ain' ok fer me ta eat chicks?? Kin addybody answer me dat??" >:(
Trinity points to the left over eggs on the table and asks in a more quiet voice: "Ya gonna eat dem, Shlim? Addy bacon ta go wid dat?"
(http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/eggs.gif)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother who inexplicable disappeared earlier (I had meetings all day), now reappears with a scattering of glittering sawdust.
"Eggs are neverwouldbechicks, Trinity. It's ok to eat eggs."
Quote from: Trinity on April 06, 2005, 06:15:06 PM
"Now why is it ok fer Shlim ta eat aigs but it ain' ok fer me ta eat chicks?? Kin addybody answer me dat??" >:(
Trinity points to the left over eggs on the table and asks in a more quiet voice: "Ya gonna eat dem, Shlim? Addy bacon ta go wid dat?"
(http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/eggs.gif)
"Ya kin have the eggs. There should be bacon in the ice box."
Quote from: AnnieLee on April 06, 2005, 11:07:09 PM
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother who inexplicable disappeared earlier (I had meetings all day), now reappears with a scattering of glittering sawdust.
"Eggs are neverwouldbechicks, Trinity. It's ok to eat eggs."
??? If ya gots a rooster, every egg is fertilized. ;D
Speaking of roosters, Slim about half those chicks are rooster chicks, if we want a rooster, we only need one! That means you have to round them up and figure out which is which and treat them like ya do the cattle. :o :o :o
No don't brand them but yer gonna have to casterate the excess. ::) Yes Slim, yer gonna have to learn to neuter a rooster! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D (Say that real fast 10 times. ;))
"I don't know how to make a capon. Will ya show me?" ;D
Trinity can be found in the kitchen, leaning back in his chair asleep with one hand on his belly and the other hanging off to his side. In front of him is a large, empty frying pan that shows evidence of having held a full content of eggs and bacon. If that weren't evidence enough, there are approximately eighteen eggshells by the fire and over on the chopping block, there is what remains of the bacon... a few sad, dried up end pieces.
Delmonico comes in and see's the mess in the kitchen and plans his revenge! ;D ;D :o
He then looks and Slim and says, "Sissiors Slim, little bitty sharp sissiors is what you need. Now don't make me 'splain more, never figured out why they try to 'spain to kids about the birds and the bees. They both are very different than peoples both a-gnat--o-ma-lee and re-pro-duck-a-tiv-lee!" ;D
"Key word here is vent Slim, yer gonna have to wait a few years for hor-ee-moans ta do the job, now get to clippin'." ;D ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother, who had actually tried to say "neuter a rooster" several times until it came out as "noodle a rooster," and she got disgusted and quit, looks over at Delmonico and Slim.
"And no, you MAY NOT use my embroidery scissors for the job."
SIDENOTE: The originator of this whole mess in his research on "Foods of the Old West" and as author of "From the Chuckwagon" column in "The Shootist" the NCOWS magazine, asked himself the question of "How to Neuter a Rooster" while writing the Sept/Oct 2004 article. :o :o
Having a mind that goes beyond Google he did one better, he called a friend in Wayne Newbrassky, home of the "World Famous Wayne Chicken Festable". ;D The friend didn't know, but he put his mother on who explained the moder hormone method and the old clip with sisiors method, since her father used to raise capon's for market. Wayne is a large chicken producing area.
She told me her dad used to keep some special one's back for their own use. I now have nightmares of being attacked by a 12 pound Eunich chicken. :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o
<For those interested in caponization, go to the following link for instructions.
http://groups.msn.com/CHICKENCHRONICLES/capons.msnw >
"Del, I afeared I don't know enough 'bout rooster inerds to tell the difference 'tween what I'z suppose to cut to and something else." :o
"If the egg is fresh from the chicken, how can you tell if it's been fertilized?"
Delmonico looks at the above posts and coments; ;D "Ya'd think slim could find us a chicken scematic diagram. ;D The little red blood spot sometimes found on farm fresh eggs is the "Mark of the rooster." ;D
Trinity rearranges himself in the chair until his head is bent over the table as if reading. Both arms are now limp by his side and he is still asleep. At least the snoring has stopped. Now Trinity is drooling on the table and intermittently 'peeping':
"Peep....................................peep.........................................peep peep."
Gopher Grease comes into the kitchen with his hands full of skewers. Each having 3 very small birds, roasted to golden brown. He lays them out on a platter of yellow rice.
Anyone hungry?
:o
Trinity's head jerks up and he falls out of the chair. After a moment of clammoring, he finally is able to get back up and says: "Ah shore do!! <<whisper on>> Hey, them ain' lil' chicks, is they? Miss FFG is gonna be mighty angry!!! I suggest we eat these thangs in hurry! <<whisper off>>"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother frowns a little.
"Are you intentionally trying to confuse me? Our eggs don't have that bloody spot, but Slim says they're all fertilized."
Quote from: AnnieLee on April 07, 2005, 09:52:03 PM
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother frowns a little.
"Are you intentionally trying to confuse me? Our eggs don't have that bloody spot, but Slim says they're all fertilized."
QuoteOften times we will notice "bloodspots" on the yolk upon cracking. This should not be confused with fertilization of the egg. Bloodspots or "meat spots" as some refer too are actually tiny broken blood vessels.
Source article (http://groups.msn.com/CHICKENCHRONICLES/acloseupoftheegg.msnw)
"If a rooster has access to the hens,
all the eggs will be fertilized. If ya don't believe me, go watch the chickens fer a couple hours."
Quote from: Delmonico on April 07, 2005, 04:21:41 PM
Delmonico looks at the above posts and coments; ;D "Ya'd think slim could find us a chicken scematic diagram. ;D ...
Mr. Google let me down this time. He can't find a picture of a rooster's anatomy. :(
Slim overhears the talk about the little birds. He enters the kitchen with his "Mighty Ten". "Dem birds on a stick better not be my chicks!" >:( >:( >:( >:(
Yep, but just the little roosters, might as well since you can't find us a scematic.
"Yer off the hook if dem are cockerels."
"That still doesn't explain why we don't have the blood spots on our... " the Frumpy Fairy Godmother's voice drifts off as she sees the little birds. She stares, horrified.
(I should not have Googled this during lunch, and I am not going to post the picture, but if you want to see the rooster's reproductive anatomy, here it is: http://www.ansi.okstate.edu/course/3443/study/AnatomyMale/poultry/sld002.htm
and
http://www.ansi.okstate.edu/course/3443/study/AnatomyMale/poultry/sld006.htm
Blech.
AnnieLee)
Quote from: AnnieLee on April 08, 2005, 12:37:23 PM
(I should not have Googled this during lunch, and I am not going to post the picture, but if you want to see the rooster's reproductive anatomy, here it is: http://www.ansi.okstate.edu/course/3443/study/AnatomyMale/poultry/sld002.htm
and
http://www.ansi.okstate.edu/course/3443/study/AnatomyMale/poultry/sld006.htm
Blech.
AnnieLee)
Thanks.
But, I don't think I'd want to try to caponize in fear of killing the cockerel, unless someone showed me first.
On that note, Slim jumps on his horse and rides northeast. "See y'all on Monday."
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother runs out on the porch and waves.
"Travel safely, Slim, come back smiling!"
Looks 'bout like pheasant guts to me. ;D
FFg, you can relax, I found a covey of quail down by the river. I walked 20 feet and had over 30 birds in the air. That what we was eating last night, not your little babies.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother whirls back around, dashing into the kitchen. She swoops down on GopherGrease, picking him up in a big hug and kissing both his cheeks.
"Thank you!"
"Ah thought them little bugars tasted a little gamey. They was good though. Ol' Slim done fergot 'bout them birds in a hurry come time to leave, din't he?? Shows you were his priorities lie. ;D ;D
Oh, in slide 2 of them pictures of the reproductive tract of the rooster it shows a vent. Ah wonder if that is the pumpernickel vent ??? ;D ;D ;D" ::)
The quiet of the pre-dawn hour finds the Frumpy Fairy Godmother gently swinging back and forth on the porch, her strong fingers wrapped around a warm mug of coffee. With a soft smile, she listens to the small sounds and watches the sky lighten into morning.
After a time, she rises, going back into the house. The light in the cupola is on for a time, then is extinguished. She glides back onto the porch, a carpet bag in her hand, then vanishes with a small scattering of glittering sawdust.
On the kitchen table is a note:
"I'll should be back later on. Try to behave."
( I'm going shooting! YAY!! :D AnnieLee, with her carpet bag and a whole lot of other stuff.)
Delmonico reads the note and mutters somthin' 'bout durn Virginny carpet baggers. ;D ;D
Yeah, them's some tricky folks. You'd be best not ta let them outta yer sight fer long!
Trinity dashes into the house and into his room. He rummages around in his trunk until he finds his old revolver (which he has not carried in a while). Blowing off the dust and droppin in some rounds , he runs back out of the house and over to the A true made up tale of the west... thread.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother reappears, carpet bag in hand and a smile on her face. She quickly discovers the house is empty.
"Well. If this isn't a fine fair thee well."
Delmonico comes out of the kitchen, "What are you whinin' 'bout now?"
Her hand moves like lightening and the skillet flies through the air>
"CLANG!"
It rebounds off Delmonico's head and back into her hand, where she blows imaginary smoke from her fingertips.
"Nothing, now."
Peeking in the door to see what Delmonico was talking about in "A true made up tale of the west..." when he said that the FFG was surley. Now he knows what he meant.
Trinity backs silently up and at edge of the porch, he reaches underneath and brings out a jug. Since Cherokee Jem never showed up to go to town, Trinity decides to spend his evening at home. He climbs into the hammock and tilts the jug back. The FFG sits on the porch to greet the morning and Trinity greets the night. Equilibrium is alive at the ranch and Trinity feels good.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother doesn't seem surly when she steps out on the porch, she appears serene, even happy. She takes up her knitting in the rocker with a glance and a smile to Trinity.
Trinity is in one of those camp style hammocks... the ones without a spreader. You know the kind. When the FFG steps out on the porch and takes up her knitting Trinity struggles to rearrange himself so that he can talk to her. After fifteen minutes he is finally situated with one leg and the opposite arm hanging out just about to get twisted up. Finally and out of breath, Trinity just holds the almost empty jug up to the FFG in offering.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother chuckles softly. It's not a mocking laugh, nor does it demean Trinity in any way; it is simply a chuckle of mirth as she takes the jug and a small swig from it before handing it back to him. Note: She also did not wipe the mouth of the jug before taking the swig.
Over 4 1/2 hours later, Delmonico wakes up face down in a pool of clotted blood. :o :o :P He tries to get up, but passes out again, restartin' the bleeding in the 8 inch gash on his fore head, fresh blood mixes with the clotted. Delmonico drifts in and out of a coma, havin' nightmares about large eunich chickens. ;D ;D :o :o ::) ::) ::) ::)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother politely excuses herself from Trinity to have a look in the kitchen. She gasps, then sees the bottles of ketchup, corn syrup and worchestershire sauce on the floor near Delmonico.
"Gads, he should own a dairy, the way he milks stuff. He's such a faker."
She leans over to check the lump on his head and he suddenly reaches up, grabbing her by the shoulder. "Bring me the Capons and the oysters! I am the KING!" Delmonico screams, then falls back in a slump.
Shaking her head and tsking, she pulls her magic wand and whisks Del up to his room, cleaning his clothing of the kitchen goo on his way. Then she waves the wand over the kitchen, cleaning that mess, too.
With a satisfied dusting of her hands, she goes back on the porch for another small swig, good company, and her knitting.
Trinity begins to wind himself up again in the hammock and after another fifteen minutes of struggle which ends with Trinity in a pile on the porch. He gets back up and glances sideways over at the FFG to see if she noticed. Comfortable in the belief that she was too engrossed in her knitting, Trinity goes to his room for another jug.
When he returns he stares at the hammock hanging ever so peacefully. >:( He waves it off and goes over to the rocker and sits back, slowly rocking. Under his breath he mutters: "Next week Ahm gonna bah me a new hammock! an use that thang fer a fishin' net!"
Delmonico wakes up again and realizes that besides clotted blood there is a bunch of other goop he's lying in. ;D ;D He realizes that the FFg has emptied a buch of ketchup, wooorshire sauce and corn syrup on him to try to cover her hidious crime. He gets up, falls and crawls to his office. Once there he gets out his sewing kit and a mirror and sews up the 8 inch gap on his forehead. He then passes out again. :o ::) ::)
"Missh FFG? Dijsha hear shumpshin' from inshide the houshe???
She looks up from her knitting.
"I might have heard a small thump or something."
"Prollolly weren't noshin *HIC*."
Weak from loss of blood, Delmonico comes to again. :o He stumbles to the kitchen, and washes up in the sink. ;D He then does the supper dishes since he's at tthe sink anyway. ;D He then grabs a mop and cleans up his blood and mops up the FFg's mess also. He then puts on his nigh shirt, washes his clothes and goes out the back door and hangs them on the line. ::) ::) ::) ::) Crawlin' up the back steps, he gets to the kitchen and mixes a bread sponge to work over night.
He then goes to his room and goes to sleep, after folding the clothes he brought in off the line ands putting them away. ;D ;D
:o :o
"Dijsha see zhat? *HIC* He djin't even shay nozhing *HIC* nozhing chu ush when he come out. Whatsh zhe matter wish him? *HIC*
Ah zshought you done fished him up wish yer mashic! *HIC* " ::) ::)
"I did. I don't know why he is wandering around, cleaning stuff that is already clean. Maybe he's sleep walking?"
Trinity wakes up in the rocking chair on the porch. "Musta done passed out" He scratches his head and yawns then remembers about Delmonico and goes to check on him.
"Del, you OK?? You made breakfast yet??"
Delmonico looks up, gooey green pus running out of his skillet wound on his head. "No Trinity, I ain't OK, I have a fever of 104, I think the cut on my head is infected." ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
" Don't think I can get up and make breakfast. Check the icebox, I think there is some leftover ham in it." ;)
"That ol' skillet really knocked ya hard this time, huh? What ever happened with that new, littler skillet of the FFG's? Ya need a new braid poulice? That one ya made last night looks like puddin'." :P :P
I'm bad off Trinity, the infection is gonna kill me unless we do somethin'. Go to yer room and look under yer bed, see if here is some moldy bread. I've heard that there is suthin' in bread mold that'll stop an infection. ::) :P
Trinity runs to his room and sure enough, under his bed are several large pieces of moldy bread. Most of them covered in cobwebs and some of them hollowed out with spiders living in them, but there should be enough for Delmonico's needs. Also Trinity finds a slice of ham which has turned a lovely shade of dark brown. Trinity stuffs that into his mouth as he rushes off to Delmonico's aid.
Delmonico changes the bandage and puts the moldy bread agin' the supporatin', green pus oozing, infected wound. :P :P :P :P :P ;D
"Thanks pard, there is a bottle of 100 year old brandy in the kitchen cupboard, ya can have. It's in the bottle with the vannilly label on it." :D ;)
(Author's somewhat nasty and graphic note: I am a little surprised that Trinity didn't attempt to eat some of that moldy bread on the green pus of Delmonico's wound, mistakenly thinking it was guacamole. :o 8) AnnieLee)
(Author's note: (http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/yuck.gif)(http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/yuck.gif)(http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/yuck.gif)(http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/yuck.gif)(http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/yuck.gif)(http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/yuck.gif)(http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/yuck.gif)(http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/yuck.gif)(http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/yuck.gif)(http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/yuck.gif)(http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/yuck.gif)(http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/yuck.gif)(http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/yuck.gif)(http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/yuck.gif)(http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/yuck.gif)(http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/yuck.gif)(http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/yuck.gif)(http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/yuck.gif)(http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/yuck.gif)(http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/yuck.gif)(http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/yuck.gif)(http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/yuck.gif)(http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/yuck.gif)(http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/yuck.gif)
The author is surprised at AnnieLee. She is touching on subjects that usually only Trinity would dare touch. ::) Hmmm. In explanation, Trinity and his Author are both Meatatarians and therefore Trinity would not be interested in any guacamole! :P )
Quote from: Delmonico on April 10, 2005, 03:03:01 PM
Delmonico changes the bandage and puts the moldy bread agin' the supporatin', green pus oozing, infected wound. :P :P :P :P :P ;D
"Thanks pard, there is a bottle of 100 year old brandy in the kitchen cupboard, ya can have. It's in the bottle with the vannilly label on it." :D ;)
Upon hearing Delmonico's offer Trinity's eyes widen and a huge smile emerges on his his face. He runs into the kitchen, retrieves the bottle and returns to Delmonico's bedside. He uncorks the bottle and puts it to his mouth and tilts his head back.
*Glug* *Glug* *Glug* *Glug* *Glug* *Glug* *Glug* "SHEEWWWWEEE! This is good stuff! Thanks ver' much!!! You want a slug afore Ah finish it Del? Too bad Miss FFG ain' here ta 'joy it with us!"
But Delmonico has drifted back to sleep and his temp reaches 105. ;D ;D ;D ;D Infected head wounds are dangerous, they can affect the brain. :o :o :o ::)
(Another author's note: If the infection affected Delmonico's brain, how would we know?? ;D ;D I thought about bringing in the Frumpy Fairy Godmother, but maybe Slim should save him? Or maybe Trinity is having a very bizarre dream?)
It is becoming clear to Trinity that Delmonico's remedy is not working so he runs to his room and comes back with a jug of his own "Medicine".
He first saturates a rag with the high proof hooch and places it on the wounds. "This would sting a bit if'n ya weren't out. Lucky fer you!" Next he pours a good portion down his throat in small increments, careful not to choke him. "You'll be better by the end of the day tomorry, pard!" ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: AnnieLee on April 10, 2005, 10:40:54 PM
(Another author's note: If the infection affected Delmonico's brain, how would we know?? ;D ;D I thought about bringing in the Frumpy Fairy Godmother, but maybe Slim should save him? Or maybe Trinity is having a very bizarre dream?)
??? ??? ??? Trinity looks up from Delmonico's bedside and tries to figure out where the voice is coming from. It is not the same as the now famous "disembodied voice" that he has become familiar with, but somehow different. Hearing mention of the FFG he assumes she must be in the room somewhere. "Miss FFG, Miss FFG... Where are you hidin? Is that you? Are you playin' a game with me??"
In his fevered dreams Delmonico is no longer having nightmares about giant capon, but he is havin' a bizarre dream, or rather a brassiere dream, he is now being attacked by one, a 88 triple EEE. :o :o :o :o
(Read this fast, the moderator will be back in the mornin"!)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother calls out: "I'm in my room!"
Wrapped in her flannel robe, she is seated at her desk, writing out a letter.
"Dear Mr. Oddjob,
"Please accept the return of the skillet I ordered from you. I am enclosing a copy of the invoice. The one you sent was defective, I did not order one with razor sharp edges! I would appreciate a refund of my money."
She signs it with a flourish.
Delmonico reads the last post, in his fever-ish condition he reads it as flour-ish, meaning like flour sort of, he can't figger why the FFg is tryin' to sign a letter with something kinda like flour, most folks use a pen. ;D
He drifts back to sleep and now Slim is ridin' back to the ranch from Wissyconsion on a pig. ::) ::)
Delmonico wonders why he is usin' a McClellan saddle. ;D If some gets in his way he won't be able to warn them, no horn. ::) ::) ::) :P
Delmonico's temp rises to 105.5. ;)
Delmonico's fever has gotten high enough for him to tune in to a cheesy country music radio station out of El Dorado Springs, MO, (KESM, 105.5 on the dial) and his room blasts with the sounds of music from Garth Brooks and George Strait, courtesy of the "Big Ape." With the morning comes the brown wagon. The Frumpy Fairy Godmother hands over the package with the skillet and takes the delivery of ice and herbs. With the help of the Bohunks (Yes, they are still around and they have to help their honorary Czech), Delmonico is placed in the bathtub of ice and a proper poultice is placed on his head. After a little while, the cheesy music stops as the fever goes down.
Slim rodes into the yard on his horse, not a pig. ::) He unsaddles his horse and put it in the corral. He his saddle bags into the kitchen and put the Wiscoooooooooooooooooooonsin cheese in the icebox. "Hello! Is anyone home?"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother runs down the stairs to give Slim a hug of greeting.
"Welcome back, Slim! Trinity is off sleeping someplace, I think, and Delmonico is upstairs in the bathtub, 'chilling out.'"
"Delmonico is upstairs in the bathtub, 'chilling out?" ??? "Is it October already?" ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
"Well, he opened his big mouth to the wrong person and got his head cut. Now he's got a fever so the ice is for bringing it down."
With one of those "don't blame me because Delmonico was an idiot" smiles, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother moves away from the stairs.
And though she had the grace not to laugh at Trinity's entanglement in the hammock, when he comes out on the porch next time, he'll find a new one hanging, complete with the spreader bars.
:D
Unknown to anyone, while Delmonico is "Cillin" Duke has drug a bag of salt up and dropped it in whit the herps, thinkin' salt goes with herbs. The salt works like it does in an ice cream maker and Delmonico's temp hast now dropped to 92. ;D ;D His dreams has now shifted to polar bears, but he can't figure out what they are drinkin'. ::) ::) ::) ::)
In his room Trinity awakens sprawled across the bed. He sits up on the edge for a moment and then shakes the remaining sleep from his his head. He gets up and finds Delmonico in the bathroom freezing his... gourds off.
"Still sick, ol' buddy?" He picks up the bottle of "medicine" and uncorks it. "Oh wail, if it ain't gonna hailp you, it'll hailp me! (http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/icon_mrgreen.gif)(http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/icon_mrgreen.gif)" *Glug* *Glug* *Glug* *Glug* *Glug* *Glug* *Glug*.
"Ah wonder if'n you ought not come out of there." ??? ??? ???
*Glug**Glug**Glug**Glug**Glug**Glug**Glug*
<<authors note: Nice reference to James Bond, Annie ;D ;D ;D >>
Trinity steps outside on the porch to enjoy the mild evening when he sees the new hammock with spreader bars. Excitedly he climbs in and is pleased to find that he does not have to fight to stay in. Soon he is fast asleep, snoring ever so slightly.
The Bohunks tromp back upstairs, take Delmonico out of the bathtub, dry him off and wrap him in warm quilts in his bed. One of them changes his poultice, nodding as the redness is easing back and the wound has less puss.
When she attempts to look in on Delmonico, the Bohunks glare at the Frumpy Fairy Godmother, giving her a clear message that he is now their charge. With a shrug, she heads back downstairs.
(Whew, that was close. I almost typed "the wound was less pussy." But I couldn't do it, it looked too strange, like something Slim would glare at me for doing.)
Delmonico sits up in bed and looks around and says, "Prune Kolatch Please." ;D ;D ;D
When the Frumpy Fairy Godmother goes into the kitchen for a drink, she finds two big Bohunks in there, making a big mess.
"What are you doing in here?"
The bigger of the Bohunks glares at her, giving a curt reply. "Prune Kolatch."
She slowly backs out of the kitchen, grumbling.
Slim comes is from gathering eggs and milking the cow. "FFG, how is Del this morning?"
BTW, below is a picture of the chickens.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother grumbles some more.
"I don't know. I asked the Bohunks to help me with him and they took over the place. I can't even get into the kitchen to make coffee."
"I'll put these in the icebox and make some coffee." Slim goes into the kitchen and puts the eggs and milk in the icebox. "May I make some coffee for the FFG?" The Bohunk looks at Slim and the pistol on his hip. "Yes, sir." Slim starts the coffee brewing. He goes outta the kitchen and addresses the FFG. "The coffee will be ready in several minutes." I'm going up to see how Del is doing." Slim climbs the stairs.
( Belated author's note: Thank you, Trinity for catching the Bond reference, I thought it had gone over everyone's head! :D Those are great chickens Cousin Slim, is Spring ever going to show up and turn your place green again? :-* :D AnnieLee)
Quote from: AnnieLee on April 12, 2005, 02:35:23 PM
( Belated author's note: Thank you, Trinity for catching the Bond reference, I thought it had gone over everyone's head! :D Those are great chickens Cousin Slim, is Spring ever going to show up and turn your place green again? :-* :D AnnieLee)
I hope it will turn green soon, but it hasn't rained much at all this spring.
Slim
In the mean time, Trinity is still dreaming of the chicks and making noises in his sleep "Peep, peep... Peep... Peep, peep."
(http://www.peepresearch.org/jpg/banner.jpg)
Quote from: AnnieLee on April 12, 2005, 02:35:23 PM
( Belated author's note: Thank you, Trinity for catching the Bond reference, ...
How Could I miss it. Goldfinger is one of my favorites ;D ;D ;D
-Trinity, who told his Papa last fall that the only non-cowboy gun that he is interested in is the Walther PPK. 8)
The Bohunk standing outside Delmonico's door gives a brief nod to Slim and lets him inside.
(So, how is Del?)
Delmonico looks at Slim's chicken picture, goes into a rage, grabs the "PLASTIC" chair, takes it to the yard, pours 2 gallons of coal oil one top onf it and strikes a match to it. As the chair dissapers in black smoke and yellow flames he says, "Dern I feel much better." ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Entranced by the fire, Trinity stares at the flames and begins to choke on the thick black smoke. The fumes then overtake Trinity and he passes out.
delmonicos fire makes good aim for handtubs new smooth bore
Unaware of the stranger drawing a bead on Trinity, he continues to stare into the fire.
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"Peep........... Peeep............ Peep, Peep"
As Handtub sprays the fire with his smooth bore firehose, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother leaps forward to drag Trinity to safety. She stands over him, dripping on his face. She has mixed emotions about his falling over like that... she wants him to be well, but this is an excellent chance to get him into clean clothing.
"Are you breathing? Want me to get Duke to give you mouth to mouth?"
Trinity breaks from his trance: "huh? Mouth to mouth, yeah... wait... who?"
Duke The yeller dog ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on April 12, 2005, 08:11:59 PM
Delmonico looks at Slim's chicken picture, goes into a rage, grabs the "PLASTIC" chair, takes it to the yard, pours 2 gallons of coal oil one top onf it and strikes a match to it. As the chair dissapers in black smoke and yellow flames he says, "Dern I feel much better." ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
"It was not PLASTIC. It was RESIN. ::) It
was used by the kids to check fer eggs. Now, what are they gonna use?!?! >:("
(Behind the Frumpy Fairy Godmother's back, AnnieLee hands Elle to Slim for his use.)
Delmonico looks Slim straight in the eye and demands, "Tree resin or a resin made by ma-nip-u-late-in' the moly-cuuu-als of pee-trol-um?"
As Delmonico whaps Slin with "his" hidden skillet, he wonders if Slim has noticed he slipped pee inta the story 'steeeeda poop.
No matter Slim hits the ground and lays there and drools in his beard. Yep Delmonico is feeling better. ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on April 13, 2005, 08:34:47 AM
Quote from: Delmonico on April 12, 2005, 08:11:59 PM
Delmonico looks at Slim's chicken picture, goes into a rage, grabs the "PLASTIC" chair, takes it to the yard, pours 2 gallons of coal oil one top onf it and strikes a match to it. As the chair dissapers in black smoke and yellow flames he says, "Dern I feel much better." ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
"It was not PLASTIC. It was RESIN. ::) It was used by the kids to check fer eggs. Now, what are they gonna use?!?! >:("
Let 'em stand... they're young!
Slim just lays there and keeps droolin' in his beard. ;D ;D ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother frowns and draws her wand. Squinting at Delmonico, she gives the wand a wave. **POOF**!!
For a few minutes each day, every day for a week, Delmonico turns into a PLASTIC chair in Wissyconsin so the Slimettes can check for eggs.
With another wave of her wand, Slim is wafted through the air and into his bed, where he can drool on his pillow.
"I knew it was plastic." ;)
The original chair may have been resin, but the Delmonichair is definitely PLASTIC.
:P ;D
I don't care if the wind does blow
Long as I got plastic Delmonico
Sittin' on the dashboard of my car.
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Delmonico hands the FFg's author a towel to wipe off her moniter and gets another on fer Slim. :o
Slim wakes in his bed with a knot on his head. He wipes the drool outta his beard, puts on his clothes, and goes down ta the kitchen ta break the fast.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother is in the kitchen. She greets Slim with a gentle hug and rises to her toes to give him an even gentler smooch to the bump on his noggin, then hands him a cup of coffee.
"We've got ham, biscuits, and eggs."
"Thankee, ma'am. That sounds go to me. By the by, how did I get this knot on my melon?"
"Delmonico smacked you with a skillet." She gives a small, nearly secretive smile, "Don't worry, he's off pulling chair duty for the Slimettes at the moment."
"Good! As long as he is being punished, I may not smack him back." ;D
"Let's just hope the Slimettes step in chicken poop before they climb on him to check for eggs."
She winks, then twitters with laughter.
"Should be plenty of it as we let 'em out of the pen in the afternoon after they've laid."
She puts a finger to her lips and makes a small "shhhh" sound.
He should be back any minute. I bet he has chicken poop on him and doesn't know it.
:D
Delmonico comes in after hangin' up his rubber ponco on the porch. ;D ;D with out sayin' a word he lets Duke inta his office and shuts the door. ;D ;D
Meanwhile at Trinity's Still site #5 Trinity is seated on the ground with his back against a tree waiting for his juice to finish boiling. He's sampling a fresh batch he made just yesterday when the brown express rider comes through the thicket with a package tied to the side of the horse.
As he dismounts his horse, the rider looks down at Trinity's bloody feet. "Here, I think you'll be needin' these!" he says as he hands the package over.
Unable to get up, Trinity thanks the rider and offers a small bottle for the road. "Sorry, I can't drink and ride. Company policy!" :-\
Slim goes out ta check fer eggs with an icepack on his head. >:(
As Slim walks to the chicken coop he steps on a bunch of straw that covers a hole that is 10 feet deep with 5 feet of chicken poop in it.
Where did he git 5' of chicken do-do? ???
And in a blink of an eye, the crown of every hat Delmonico owns, including his 10X, including the one on his head (even if it is a hat made from a bandana), is filled with chicken poop.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother lifts Slim out of the pit of poop and fills it with dirt.
"Thankee kindly, ma'am. I wonder how that got there? I think I'm in need of a bath fer I go back to Wiscooooooooooooonsin fer the weekend." Slim takes a bath, gets dressed, says his goodbyes to the FFG, gets in the saddle, and rides northeast.
Slim
Dern it he left afore I got back, I wanted him to google and find out what the white stuff in chicken poop is. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
As Slim rides off away from the sunset, the dyin' light shines on a sign that says: "Kick Me and My Horse." :o :o ::) ::) :D
Trinity walks in and says: "Ah think these warmer temperatures have done made you all crazy! Why is ever' one covered in chicken poop??"
He glances quickly over at the FFG and is relieved to see her poop free.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother squints a sharp look at Delmonico and mutters under her breath: "Have to watch him every second."
Seeing Trinity, her face blossoms into a wide smile.
The FFg walks into the house, as she opens the door a bucket falls, like a bad gag in an old si-o-lent movin' picture. But no water in the bucket, and now she is covered with chicken poop. ;D ;D ;D
...Which immediately turns into sparkling sawdust, giving her a mystical aura as she walks.
:P
:o :o Immediately Trinity ducks into a ball peeking at Delmonico from beneath his elbow. "It's gonna happen any minute now! It were nice knowin' ya Del!!"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother calls Duke to her, they go upstairs to her cupola, and she closes the door.
Trinity searches all over the house and finds no one available and the FFg's door still closed with Duke inside. All alone, he decides to rest on the porch in his new hammock.
By late afternoon the Yaller Dog fumes build up to the point the FFg has to open a window. ;D
Duke has been raidin' the icebox again. :P :P ::) ::) ;)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother comes back downstairs. Duke follows after her, wearing a very sheepish smile. Behind Duke wafts his "icebox cloud."
"I need a blacksmith to rig a latch for the icebox. A dog-proof latch."
Delmonico gets a ruler and measures and draws on a piece of paper. He then writes a note, puts in an en-ver-lope and hans it to the rider that comes through the yard. ;D
Trinity is still asleep in the hammock. He is tossing and turning, apparently in the middle of a dream.
Coffee mug in hand, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother steps out on the porch to greet the new day. She glides over to the swinging hammock and looks down at the restless Trinity. Reaching out, she soothes his brow with a fingertip, then takes a seat in her rocker.
Trinity awakens suddenly drenched in sweat and struggles to sit up. Seeing the FFG over in the rocker, he greets her with a wide smile: "Mornin' ma'am! Whew! Ah shore had me a wald dream. It was 'bout a man with a funny lookin' hat what fought funny but broke men's bones like they was chicken bones... an' he danced wif snakes!
Boy am I glad to be back here, Miss FFG! It was plumb strange!!!"
With the warmin' sun of spring delmonico is out with a forked stick and a knife prowlin' around the south side of the hills for rattlesnakes. ;D ;D ;D
Trinity nudges the FFG who has fallen asleep in the rocker with her knitting hin her lap. "Hey, what do you s'pose ol' Del is doin' over there? That's the same sorta tool mah great Granpappy used when he was a-huntin' water. ??? ??? ???
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother blinks awake, smiling at Trinity, then looks to see where he is pointing.
"I don't know what he's up to, now. Are you sure he wasn't the man in your dream?"
Wide eyed, Trinity responds: "But... the man in mah dream din't have no stick with him." ??? ??? ???
She suppresses a smile and takes up her knitting once more.
"I dunno, Trinity, can you dance with snakes without a stick?"
Meanwhile...
With everyone out of the house, Duke wanders up to the icebox. He takes a quick look around and nudges the door to the icebox with his nose until it opens.
With a happy wag of his tail, Duke proceeds to scarf up the remnants of Slim's cheese.
Delmonico comes in from behind the barn carrin' a coal oil lantern. He has a bag that is WIGGLIN', Just the the Pony Rider comes up and hads Delmonico a package, inside, still slightly warm is a lock for the icebox, a dream catcher super imposed over the anvil stamped on it. ;D
Delmonico says, "good I have to soak these rattlesnakes in salt water over night and the lock will keep them inside. It always amazes me ya can cut off their heads, gut them and skin them and they wiggle round yet for hours." :o :o :o :o :o :o
Guess what's for supper tommorow. ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother looks at the wriggling bag, then at Delmonico, then at Trinity, her eyes growing larger by the second, then she glances at the bag again, then she looks away and gives a hard swallow.
Slim rides to the ranch house. "Morning, FFG and Trinity." He dismounts and takes the Wiscoooooooooooooooonsin cheese outta the saddlebags.
While the Frumpy Fairy Godmother hugs Slim, Duke bounds around them, sniffing at the cheese.
Inside the house, the icebox door stands open, the contents scattered over the floor.
"Thankee, FFG for the Hug. Well, I should get this cheese in the icebox." Slim goes into the kitchen. "What in tarnation happened in here? Did y'all have a party while I was gone?"
Duke hides. The Frumpy Fairy Godmother glares in the direction of the hiding Duke.
"No, it seems our so clever dog learned how to open the icebox. Delmonico ordered a latch for it, but hasn't installed it, yet."
With another glare, she starts cleaning up the mess.
Slim helps the FFG to clean up the kitchen and puts the cheese in the icebox. He then pours himself a cup of coffee. "FFG, do ya want a cup of coffee?"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother puffs back some hair from her face.
"Yes, please, Slim."
Slim pours her a cup of coffee. "We'll have ta keep an eye on Duke 'til Del installs the lock on the icebox."
Duke knows they are talking about him so comes out from hiding for pets. Whatever remorse he may have earlier had is long gone.
As soon as the kitchen is cleaned up, Trinity busts into the kitchen from the porch flailing about wildly with his hands and arms until he serves the table with a Karate chop, splits it in two and freezes in a karate ready stance.
Glancing around the room and assured that there is no threat, he resumes his normal slack posture and says: "Ah done lernt that from the man in mah dreams!
Ooooh, is that cheese??"
Delmonico comes in and installs the lock, "If you would have read it was still hot when it got here." ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)
"Dang it Duke ate all my snakes, he'll have to sleep in Slim's room, Slim can have the snake gas." :P :P
"Dern it Duke. Ah was lookin' forward ta snake meat tonight! Oh well, Ah guess Ah'll have ta wait till another time. Poo!" Trinity kicks at the floor. At least Ol Del. was collectin' it fer cookin instead of dancin'!
"Speakin' of disappointments... Whar is that Ol' Gophergrease?!? He don' promised us a German meal a couple tahms but ever tahm the plans change. <<dejected>> Looks lahk it's groun' turkey agin tonight. (At least it's still pink, not grey. ;D ;D )."
;D
( Author's note: Looking at those pics, I suddenly had a flash of what Del would post if he got a digital camers. It was a very skerry thought and I sprouted five new gray hairs. :D )
(Authors note: "Why only five?) ::) ::) ::) ::) :o :o :P :P ;D ;D ;D
(Author's note: Too bad I didn't get a picture of the grey stuff and its date!) ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ::) ;D ;D ;D 8) ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on April 18, 2005, 10:26:21 PM
(Authors note: "Why only five?) ::) ::) ::) ::) :o :o :P :P ;D ;D ;D
( I gray slowly! :D :P :D :P I used to have science experiments growing in my fridge, but that was before the dogs learned how to open the door of it. Now when I get home, I have no leftovers, just messes on the floor and sometimes a broken dish. :( )
"Duke ain't sleepin' in my room! I don't need snake gas or snake guts in my room!" >:(
With his ears and tail down, poor Duke scratches at the door to be let outside to sleep.
Slim opens the door for Duke. "I'll gather eggs so ya don't git a taste fer eggs." Slim follows Duke out making sure not to breathe deeply. ::)
With a deep look of gratitude to Slim, Duke bolts out the door and runs out to a safe place to get rid of the rattlesnake. Seems the snake helped remove the "blockage" from all the cheese. For the next 20 minutes or so, a green cloud hangs over a place near the river.
Duke comes running back, jumps up on the porch, makes a tight circle then flumps down to sleep. Every once in a while, a small puff of green gas is emitted from his hind end that makes a small sound that is eerily like "peep... peep... peep..."
Meanwhile Trinity enters the kitchen making a sloshing sound in his new boots. Before anyone can turn their head to look the smell hits them like one of Delmonico's flour bags. Trinity has been around the excrement tube again! He is covered to the knees in poop and corn. And a squishy sound is coming from within his boots.
The FFG scolds him and forlorn Trinity lowers his head and looks up: "But, Del tolt me ta walk aroun' in water so's the boot would con-form to mah foot better. Ah was only doin' what Ah was tolt ta do!!"
On that, Trinity spins around and storms out the door, leaving a small pile of ... debris and corn on the floor. Seeing this, Duke immediately trots over and laps it up. :P
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother glares.
"Stop that, Duke, or I'll wash your mouth out with Listerine!"
The poor yellow dog's eyes nearly bulge out of his head and he takes off after Trinity. She follows out to the porch.
"Clean water, Trinity! Not that other stuff! And see if you can't find a girlfriend for Duke, he's been acting strangely."
"Clean Water! Weren't that where Ah just was?
...Girlfriend???"
"Yes, clean water! Upstream from the sewage pipe!"
"And yes, a girlfriend. Find another yellow dog, we'll call her Daisy!"
Slim pours himself a cup of coffee and shakes his head. ::)
As the hopeful Duke trails after Trinity, lapping up his "droppings", the Frumpy Fairy Godmother goes back into the kitchen to join Slim in a cup of coffee.
"Think that's what he needs? A girlfriend?"
"Not sure, but I think he needs something to do besides raidin' the icebox."
"Agreed. He's a dog, not a husband!" She laughs behind her coffee mug.
"You been married?" ??? :o
Later that day, a clean Trinity... well, a cleaner Trinity appears at the door with a new yellow dog and a chocolate brown dog. "Ah got the yaller dawg... Daisy... lahk ya wanted but Ah really liked this here brown dawg. Ah figgered we could call her Claire" . ???
A tired Duke struts in after the introductions are made with a look of ecstasy on his face.
"Anything in the icebox??" Trinity asks.
(Authors Note: I don't want to here about this, the Pandas at the zoo were bad enough. Surprised the headlines didn't read, "Pandas Do It.') :o ::) ::) :P :P
( No, Del, you just need to go get your new chocolate lab. Then you'll feel better! :D )
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother makes nice to the new female dogs.
"Why are you naming her Claire, Trinity?"
"It's short fer E-Claire, Miss FFG. As in Chawklit E-Claire!" ;D ;D ;D
Still scratching Daisy, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother turns her head to give a slow, long, upward look to Trinity.
"You aren't planning to eat her, are you?"
After all, he does have a history about wanting to eat baby chicks.....
"Aww, heck no Miss FFG. She wouldn't taste lahk no chawklit E-Claire, <<giggle>> naw, she only looks lahk pure chawklit ta me, the first thang that come ta mind was a E-Claire! :D
Now them little chicks... them makes some good eats!!!" ;D ;D Trinity smacks his lips emphatically.
(http://sublimecanines.com/jpg/puppydaisy1.jpg)
(http://www.replica.co.uk/images/items/ca010.jpg)
"She's adorable, Trinity. Where is she going to sleep?" She laughs as Claire tugs at her shoe laces.
Slim steps on the front, on his way to check for eggs and milk the cow, and can barely close the door because of the gale force wind. He looks to the southwest. There is a curious red glow in that direction. It suddenly hits him, like a wet blanket ;D . He runs back into the house and yells, "Prairie fire!" :o :o :o :o
Delmonico ain't worried, the cattle are at the river and he plowed and burned the fire breaks around the buildin's last fall. ;D Buring the grass off is good for the prarie and is good management, it keeps the danged trees out and clears the thatch. ;D
(Author's note: Despite comentents in anther thread, finish reading the book Slim.) ;D
(Author's note: I plan on finishing the book. It is a very interesting read. It will make me research more to see if her account is accurate. She has a definite bent: the buffalos and Indians were slaughtered by the white men.)
"How 'bout the trees we planted to make the Newbrasssssssky National Forest?"
"Aww, heck no Miss FFG. She wouldn't taste lahk no chawklit E-Claire, <<giggle>> naw, she only looks lahk pure chawklit ta me, the first thang that come ta mind was a E-Claire!
Trinity are you sure this aint "Eau Claire"? ::)
Might be a close relation to some of the Wisconsin clan? ::) ::) ::) ;D
Definitely, major cute. ;D ;D
Quote from: AnnieLee on April 20, 2005, 09:39:00 PM
"She's adorable, Trinity. Where is she going to sleep?" She laughs as Claire tugs at her shoe laces.
"Ah figgered she could sleep wif me. She shore is cuddly!"
Quote from: Russ T Chambers on April 21, 2005, 06:12:26 PM
"Aww, heck no Miss FFG. She wouldn't taste lahk no chawklit E-Claire, <<giggle>> naw, she only looks lahk pure chawklit ta me, the first thang that come ta mind was a E-Claire!
Trinity are you sure this aint "Eau Claire"? ::)
Might be a close relation to some of the Wisconsin clan? ::) ::) ::) ;D
Definitely, major cute. ;D ;D
"Naww, Russ T. She ain' peed on me yet, so Ah ain' gonna call her
Eau Claire. As fer the Wiscononsin clan... I's a southuner. That's all they is to it!" (http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/dixie.gif) ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Trinity on April 21, 2005, 06:22:54 PM
Quote from: AnnieLee on April 20, 2005, 09:39:00 PM
"She's adorable, Trinity. Where is she going to sleep?" She laughs as Claire tugs at her shoe laces.
"Ah figgered she could sleep wif me. She shore is cuddly!"
Quote from: Russ T Chambers on April 21, 2005, 06:12:26 PM
"Aww, heck no Miss FFG. She wouldn't taste lahk no chawklit E-Claire, <<giggle>> naw, she only looks lahk pure chawklit ta me, the first thang that come ta mind was a E-Claire!
Trinity are you sure this aint "Eau Claire"? ::)
Might be a close relation to some of the Wisconsin clan? ::) ::) ::) ;D
Definitely, major cute. ;D ;D
"Naww, Russ T. She ain' peed on me yet, so Ah ain' gonna call her Eau Claire. As fer the Wiscononsin clan... I's a southuner. That's all they is to it!" (http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/dixie.gif) ;D ;D ;D
"Don't think it would be Eau Claire, probably Eau Jaune." ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother walks over to the window to watch the fire. Daisy scampers after her, chasing after the shoe laces Claire untied.
"But what about the forest?"
"I ain't goin' out there to check on the future forest while that fire is ragin'."
"Delmonico won't care, he hates trees." With a frown, she takes a step back from the window, stepping on Daisy who yelps and runs, leaving the Frumpy Fairy Godmother flailing her arms and falling backwards.
They ain't gonna plant no forest fer 50 years yet. ;D ;D
(Authors's note, the canner I have that was my Grandma Carman's is a Eau-Claire brand made in Eau-Claire wissy-consion 'bout 75 years ago.)
Quote from: Delmonico on April 22, 2005, 12:16:54 PM
They ain't gonna plant no forest fer 50 years yet. ;D ;D
(Authors's note, the canner I have that was my Grandma Carman's is a Eau-Claire brand made in Eau-Claire wissy-consion 'bout 75 years ago.)
(Presto?)
(( < pokes> Hey! Are you guys gonna just let the Frumpy Fairy Godmother fall on her kiester? ))
Quote from: AnnieLee on April 22, 2005, 02:15:56 PM
(( < pokes> Hey! Are you guys gonna just let the Frumpy Fairy Godmother fall on her kiester? ))
(I was trying ta figger out what to do: try to catch her, throw a pillow under her kiester, etc.) :D
(Del's light is out, so it's up ta me.) ;D
Slim tries to catch FFG from falling on her kiester, but he trips over Duke, who was sprawled across the floor. :o
Duke yelps and he runs. They continue to fall, fortunately, the table is there to break the fall.
But wait! It's the same table Trinity used for his karate chop, the one that was somewhat splinted and patched together with some thin wood and duct tape. They crash into that and it breaks into two pieces, which rotate vertically around them as they hit the floor.
****WHOOOP******
(( In the Napping House, where now, noone is sleeping!))
Quote from: AnnieLee on April 22, 2005, 02:15:56 PM
(( < pokes> Hey! Are you guys gonna just let the Frumpy Fairy Godmother fall on her kiester? ))
Well she had a magic wand hadn't she? ::)
I figured that if she didn't use it she
wanted to fall on her kiester ;D
<Ducks for cover>
Delmonico comes out from the kitchen, looks and goes back to cooking with a snicker. ;D
(Authors note: I done tolt ya Slim it is an Eau Clarie brand, the Presto is the modern one. Don't member right off what the other 2 are. :o)
( It was all a blur, a blur I say! She didn't have the time to pull her wand and save herself! )
Fortunately, Slim's body breaks the Frumpy Fairy Godmother's fall. She lands face down on him, realizes where she is and jerks up and off him rapidly, her face taking on that magenta hue. Clearing her throat, she gives him a hand up.
"Are you all right?"
At that very minute, Trinity re-enters the room shouting "Hey, wha's all the commosh... :o never mind" Trinity makes a very hasty 180 and leaves as quickly as he came tugging at Claires rope collar.
Trinity heads out the door, accross the porch, down the steps and accross the yard where he slips in the corn he had on his boots the other night. He thens falls on his arse. ;D ::) :P
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother uses her wand to clear a path so Slim can go home for the weekend. After bidding him a fond farewell, she looks over at Trinity.
"What happened to you? And did you know you have to fix the table you chopped? It's dangerous!"
And behold, with the raisin' of the FFg's staff, the corn in the yard did part, and Silver Creek Slim was able to depart to his homeland of Wissy-con-sion. But when Trinity tried to follow the corn unparted and Trinity was overwhelmed. ;D
A great commotion was to be seen and heard from the corn until out emerged Trinity yet again slashing and slicing at the air with karate chops and fancy kicks until he realized that he was free. He then stood up straight and walked over to the FFG and Delmonico but slipped again on the errant piece of corn.
"Dadgummit!" Sitting on the ground, Trinity pulls a the neck of a broken hip flask out of his rear pocket. The remains of the flask are still in his pocket and seat of his pants are now soaking wet with recipe. Claire is lapping at a puddle on the hard packed earth. With a sharp "No-no", Trinity shoves Claire aside and begins sluping the nectar himself.
The FFG begins to scold Trinity again for having chopped the table, but what she is not aware of is that Trinity had been and is still occasionally being possessed by the spirit of Billy Jack, something which he has entirely no control over at all. Trinity is very confused and simply stares blankly up at the FFG.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother's face softens at Trinity's confusion and she extends a hand to him.
"Come on, Trinity, let's see if we can find you a new flask. We can fix the table later."
Trinity takes the FFG's extended hand and pulls himself erect. "Thankee Miss FFG! Don' worry none 'bout the flask. <sigh> It were mah gran-pappy's, but Ah got still mah daddy's.
When we get ta fixin' the table, Ah suggest that we don' use that thin wood an duct tape. Whose blame idear was that??
Ah better go an change these britches an fin' somethin' ta wring mah recipe into!" Trinity walks back to the house, the entire seat of his pants and most of his right leg soaking wet.
Claire traipses after Trinity, leaping around him and trying to lick the recipe from his pants. The Frumpy Fairy Godmother bends to pick up the broken flask and when Trinity is out of sight, she waves her wand over it to fix it. She ponders fixing the table as well, but figures the work would be good for Trinity.
Daisy, meanwhile, spots a bunny in the corn and takes off on a run.
Trinity walks into the house and to his room all the way brushing away, trying to keep her from drinking too much recipe. He pulls her out of his room telling her "Ah gotta change mah clothes now. You jest wait outside."
Closing the door he goes to the chifforobe and opens it up. Standing in the corner is his other pair of pants which he quickly dons. "Miss FFG is going to be mighty upset when she sees these pants. She done tolt me ta burn them onct, but Ah ain' got nothin' else."
Next, he takes the wet pants and squeezes the pants into an empty jar. The liquid is not as clear as it is straight from the still, but it will do. He puts the now only moist pants in the chifforobe, closes the door and opens the bedroom door to let Claire back in.
Duke takes off after Daisy and they run around in the corn. The Frumpy Fairy Godmother watches, laughing, then heads back inside.
Passing by Trinity's room, she starts to say something, then stops and gawps.
"TRINITY!!
"YOU TOLD ME YOU BURNED THOSE PANTS!"
Like a flash, her wand is out and waved. His old pants are gone, replaced by the same kind, same original color, but these pants are brand spanking new. They're so new, they're stiff.
Like Frankenstein, Trinity waddles out of his room. He'd like to complain about his discomfort, but he decides that it's not a good idea because he has already come out of this pretty well concidering what the FFG could have done to him.
(Authors note: In Trinity's defense he tried to burn those pants but the EPA steped in, can't burn them, can't bury them. Tinity is savin' his funds to have them shipped in a lead lined barrel to Nevady and be burried 1000 feet under ground in the barrel.) ;D
(Now the FFG has probably gone and done something environmentally unsound!! ;D)
Tain't just Slim gonna need ta worry "bout black helly-copters. :o :o :D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother transported those pants to the bottom of a shooting berm that's been in use for about fifty years. Considering the EPA is running about twenty years behind schedule on berm clean-ups, she isn't worried about the pants being found.
:D
Despite the FFg's best effort, Trinity's pants crawl out of the berm and walk bact to the house and stand up in the corner of Trinity's closet. :o :o :P :P :P ;D ;D ;D :D ;)
(Author's note: Thanks, Del, for noticing that they were standing in the corner to begin with ;D ;D ;D)
Still walking like Frankenstein, Trinity is making his way outside when he trips on the door ledge. Try as he might, he cannot get back up. He slips off the braces and undoes the buttons and shimmies out of the pants, not unlike a hermit crab about to seek a new home. While all this was happening a spring wind blew through the one and only open window in the house, way up high in the FFG's cupola, and created a draft and forced the door down below closed... and locked. There stood Trinity in his skivies unable to enter the house.
"Why in tarnation Del installed danged locks on these doors, Ah'll never know! There ain' nobody fer miles aroun'!!!"
Suddenly another wind blows and Trinity realizes that in his shimmying, he had torn the buttons off of his trap door! His rear hatch was hanging wide open and the second breeze was feeling mighty fresh. :-[ :-[
What Trinity don't realize there is a fella with curly hair hidin' in the bushes with a geeetar. Suddenly a song is heard. ;D
How many roads must a man walk down
Before they call him a man
How many seas must a white dove sail
Before she sleeps in the sand
How many times must the cannonballs fly
Before they are forever banned
The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind
The answer is blowing in the wind
How many years must a mountain exist
Before it is washed to the sea
How many years can some people exist
Before they're allowed to be free
How many times can a man turn his head
And pretend that he just doesn't see
The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind
The answer is blowing in the wind
How many times must a man look up
Before he can see the sky
How many years must one man have
Before he can hear people cry
How many deaths will it take till he knows
That too many people have died
The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind
The answer is blowing in the wind
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Suddenly, among the answers, there is something else blowin' in the wind. The curly haired stranger picks up his guitar and quickly leaves. Trinity is glad at that moment that he's alone.
Hearing the door slam, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother makes her way downstairs to investigate. Before she reaches the door, she hears the music of the curly haired stranger and takes a moment to slowly dance around the room, all by herself.
When the music stops, she gives a little shiver and heads back to the door, only to find Trinity's pants laying just inside it.
"What the...?"
She opens the front door.
Trinity is still facing the yard when he hears the door open behind him. He freezes in position for a brief moment, then he throws a hand back to cover his rear and he spins around to see who is there. When he sees the dear sweet FFG he turns all shades of red and runs past her into the house. He sits on his bed wondering what to do, when he opens the chifforobe (like a man will check an icebox again and again in the hopes that some new food will have magically appeared) and finds his old pair of pants standing in the corner again!
Incredulous, he dons the pants and returns to his bed where he contemplates the conundrum in which he finds himself. He can't back out to see the FFG because she'll be upset about the pants and even if she wouldn't be upset he is terribly embarrassed that she saw him in his skivies... worse yet, with his trap door down. However, his new pants ... the very stiff ones ... still lay outside. Just what is he to do? He reaches under his bed and brings out a bottle to help him think.
Delmonico reads the post as he feeds some stranger that showed up at the back door. The stranger says his name is Robert Zimmerman, but Delmonico knows he also uses an alis. ::)
He also wonder why Trinity hasn't though about the obvious, there are TWO Lab-re-door Re-tree-vers in the house! ;D ;D ;D
Too quickly for Trinity to use a pup to rescue him, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother picks up the stiff pants and waves her wand over them until they are broken in and soft. Just as the dogs head down the stairs, she is heading up them.
She pauses outside of Trinity's door, making a faces as she detects that familiar smell. She taps on the door, then opens it slightly. The hand with the pants moves inside the room while she stands outside the door.
"Trade me."
Slim rides in with a new supply of cheese and puts it in the icebox. "Whar's everyone?"
And there she stands, her hand inside Trinity's room, body in the hall, when Slim calls out. How can she explain this one?
"Uh... up here!"
Delmonico hollors, "I'm down in the cellar gettin' stuff fer supper. The FFg is upstairs makin' a pass at Trinity." ;D ;D ;D ;D
"The FFG is upstairs doing what?" ??? :o
She hollars back:
" I AM NOT!"
"She is too, Trinity was outside in his underwear and she chased him upstairs. She's got the dogs helpin' her some how."
Having passed out, the yelling outside his door awakens Trinity. He is pleased to find a new pair of pants that appear to be broken in have been unceremoniously thrown into the room. He puts them on and opens the door to join the others when he finds three wet noses awaiting him. He greets each one of them with a pat on the head: "Hey Duke, Hey Daisy, Hey Claire" As he heads toward the kitchen all three pooches try to follow but succeed only in slipping around on the hardwoods until they finally gain footing.
Everybody is to be found in the kitchen. Trinity can detect some tension in the air as the FFG holds the skillet with a white knuckled grip.
Her grip loosens a little when she sees Trinity wearing the new pants, but then she catches a whiff in the air and it the grip tightens once more.
"You were supposed to trade me, Trinity, not put the new pants on over the old ones!"
:o Trinity turns around to check and sure enough! He rushes back to his room, followed by three dogs sliding yet again all over the hardwoods.
A few minutes later Trinity reappears in the kitchen with the three dogs fussing over a pair of pants behind him. "Ah done give mah pants ta them <<points at the trio>> 'cause they seemed to want 'em so bad. Ah wonnert why them pants was so tight! Ah done thought Ah gained weight! Ever'thang's normal now! Right?"
"Almost." The Frumpy Fairy Godmother averts her eyes and states quietly, "your fly's undone."
Slim walks into the kitchen. "What's going on in here?"
"~~Nothing~~", the Frumpy Fairy Godmother sings out, turning red and smiling at Slim. "Since Del slept in, want me to make some eggs?"
"Eggs would be great, thanks. I'll go gather some more and milk the cow. Be back in bit." :)
She turns away and starts making the biscuits, very carefully not looking at Trinity.
<First it was his hindside, now it's the front. Is he trying to give her some kind of message?> She thinks to herself.
Delmonico is still trying to get untied, ungagged and out of the cellar. The skillet wound that knocked him out aches.
As Slim open the door to go outside breeze blows through the house. Suddenly Trinity knows why the FFG has been behaving so strangly. :o :o :o
She hears Trinity make a small hiss of alarm, so thinks he's figured it out, but she still doesn't look, she just bakes those biscuits.
Still tied and gagged in the cellar, the wound on Delmonico's head starts to fester. :o :o :o :o ;D
While everyone else is enjoying their meal, Duke wanders down to the basement. He sniffs around some, then raises his leg on Delmonico's chair. Maybe he's marking the spot so he can find it again when he brings help!
Duke goes back upstairs to mooch some eggs. Daisy heads downstairs, sees Delmonico and chews him free.
Claire is asleep at Trinity's feet, the mangled ex-pants next to her head.
Delmonico comes upstairs, graps the bottle of Iodine and goes into his office and slams the door, leavin' all three dogs outside. ;D ;D ;D Later he comes out, gives a letter to the pony rider and goes back in and shuts the door. ;D ;D ;D
As the eyes turn to the Frumpy Fairy Godmother after Delmonico grabs the iodine and slams the door, she protests.
"It wasn't me! I sent back the killer skillet!"
The next evening Delmonico is still in his office. He's still alive cause he comes out once in a while for coffee but don't talk to anyone. :o :o ::)
Duke scratches at Delmonico's door to be let in.
All this chatter about food is making me hungry.....................later folks
Delmonico looks out his office door when he hears lil rooster, since lil rooster is working real hard to catch a bunch of horse theives and rustlers in the "Made up True Tale thread and since Trinity, Slim and himself are helpin with the search, Delmonico has a strange thought. "Maybe the FFg is the leader of a bunch of rustlers and horse theives and is usin' the No Name Ranch as a hideout." :o :o ::) ::) ??? ??? ??? ;D ;D >:( >:( >:( :D :D ;)
Quote from: Delmonico on April 27, 2005, 11:02:58 PM
Delmonico looks out his office door when he hears lil rooster, since lil rooster is working real hard to catch a bunch of horse theives and rustlers in the "Made up True Tale thread and since Trinity, Slim and himself are helpin with the search, Delmonico has a strange thought. "Maybe the FFg is the leader of a bunch of rustlers and horse theives and is usin' the No Name Ranch as a hideout." :o :o ::) ::) ??? ??? ??? ;D ;D >:( >:( >:( :D :D ;)
Nothing surprises me anymore. ::) ;D
When Delmonico opens his door, Duke slips in. Content with the world, he curls up in his usual place and falls asleep.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother, who has been absent from "the boys night out" made up true tale thread, has no comments in thoughts or words about any accusations of rustling livestock.
:P
Quote from: AnnieLee on April 28, 2005, 04:45:03 AMhas no comments in thoughts or words about any accusations of rustling livestock.
:P
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can, and will be used against you. ::) ;D
Delmonico comes out of his office and heads outside. He rides off on his mule, but he's back in a couple of hours and looks funny, "Why are there a bunch of strange cattle and horses over in the west pasture with a "Wagon Wheel" brand? :o :o :o :o :o ;)
( Author's note: Dagnabbit, Del, that's not a wagon wheel, it's an exploding star and it's not my brand, it's my symbol. My brand looks like a set of linked initials, and the Frumpy Fairy Godmother had nothing to do with it!! Where's my skillet!? )
( Symbol:
(http://members.aol.com/fechnwench/star1.jpg)
Brand:
(http://members.aol.com/freyamomus/nldbrand.jpg)
And don't try to pin those cattle on me, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother doesn't know I exist! So there! :P
:D
AnnieLee)
Slim? ;D ;D ;D ;D
(Authors note the "Wagon Wheel" brand is considered a rustlers brand because it could hide most brands. It is not one that can be registared in most states and was used by Isom Dart/Ned Huddleson. Over use of this brand caused Isom/Ned to obtain a bullet through his heart from what is thought to be a 30-30 one cold morning in December up in the "Hole in the Wall. His companions of the time decided they did not have to pee that bad and stayed in the cabin till after dark and cut a hole in the back to slip out of.
My thoughts are that when Isom/Ned was shot they no longer needed to go outside to pee, but had done it in their pants. ;D ;D ;D)
Trinity looks up wide eyed at Delmonico. "You mean that Ah ain' 'posed ta eat them Waggon Wheel steers? Thems some good tasting beeves!"
Trinity thinks for a moment and then whispers to Slim: "Slim, ya still got that runnin' arn ?? Ah got me an idear fer mah own Lollipop Brand!" ;D ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother looks up from her crocheting.
"What is a wagon wheel brand?"
Meanwhile, Trinity's old drinking buddy, the sheep, finally comes to and staggers downstairs.
Delmonico and Duke go into his office, Duke slams the door. :o :o :o
Claire comes traipsing through the house, still toting the ragged pants.
Upon seeing his old buddy, Trinity shouts out: "Sheep!!! How ya been doin'?? It's been so long since Ah done seen ya last, Ah thought ya made it on somebody's dinner plate!"
The sheep's eyes widen in fear.
"How's about you an' me have us a drank? Have ya seen anything of Cletus the Rooster lately??"
The sheep relaxes and the two old friends walk to the kitchen together with Claire following close behind.
Delmonico says, "Yer just in time fer supper, Chicken and Dumplings, Slim whacked the head off that no good rooster of his and is gonna bring a new one home from Wissy-consion. ;D ;D
:o ... :( ... :'(
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother jumps up, dropping her yarn to hug Trinity and glare at Delmonico.
"Slim did not, there was nothing wrong with the rooster, all the chickens were happy."
Hens are like women :o many of them like a no good rooster. ;D ;D ;D ;D Sides that Slim found out the rooser was the hen's cousin, don't want no inbred chickens round here. :o :o Next thing ya know some fools gonna get rich makin' jokes about them. ;D
"Ah kain' believe it. Cletus is daid! <sniff> C'mon Sheep. Less me an you hold a wake fer ol' Cletus out by the hen house!" <sniff>
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother takes off her hat and puts a doiley on her head, then follows Trinity and the sheep out to the chicken coop.
"You know they never did get around to making the baby roosters into capons..."
Quote from: Delmonico on April 29, 2005, 11:10:52 PM
Delmonico says, "Yer just in time fer supper, Chicken and Dumplings, Slim whacked the head off that no good rooster of his and is gonna bring a new one home from Wissy-consion. ;D ;D
litl' rooster (the litl'one eyed fat man) may have to change his alias to keep his head attached to the rest of his self......
He is now following 2 threads looking for clues to these cattle theives.....Women usually are behind a fella gone bad.
Delmonico peeks out of his office and notes that the FFg remembered about the babby roosters and the fact that Slim the chicken farmer don't know how to neuter them.
(Authors note: Remind Delmonico about the un-neutered roosters in about 4-6 more weeks, he has plans for both them and a lesson in food history again.) :o :o :o :o
Delmonico also notices he was right about lil rooster bein' su-spis-ous 'bout the FFg being involved in the recent thefts of cattle and horses. ;D ;D
As they near the chicken coop they see Cletus smiling at them, from the top of the choppin' block. :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o
And all around Cletus the baby roosters are bowing down in homage to his prowess.
And the head of Cletus still smiles from the choppin' block. ;D
Seeing Cletus's dismembered head sends Trinity again into a fit of sobs! Sheep ignores him and laps at the recipe that Trinity had poured for him.
:'( :'( :'(
Delmonico feels sorry that Slim has decided to retire Cletus and ruined Trinity's drinkin' fun. ;D
He gets an Idea, grabs the head and heads to the machine shed. He comes back 6 hours later with Cletus's head trans-planted on to the head of a Turkey Vulture. ;D :o :o ;) :D A real
Frank-in-bird. :P :P
(Author's note: I must've been sleepin' fer the last several days. Y'all sure posted alot.)
"Trinity, I fixed my branding iron so the Sheriff won't arrest me agin fer havin' a runnin' iron." "I didn't chop Cletus' head off. >:("
Hearing Slim, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother slowly turns toward Delmonico, her eyes narrowing into slits and lips turning into a tight, thin line.
Just then the knew rooster Slim brought crows from his saddle bags, poving that Slim is just practicing good chicken ranchin'. ;D ;D
The Franken Bird, the sheep and Trinity lay drunk on the manure pile.
"Slim, you might want to load up the 10 gauge, there's been a chicken theif lurkin' round here, he from over to another thread. ;D
"How'd dat rooster git in ma saddle bag?"
"Chicken rustler?!?! >:(" Slim pulls his "Mighty Ten" outta the saddle boot. "Thunk, thunk", say the shells goin in the chambers. ;D
At the sound of the crow, all the cute little baby roosters rush the gate to peep at Slim's saddle bags.
Slim opens his saddle and out jumps...
(http://bextruthfinder.blogs.com/mental_equilibrium/images/cogburn.jpg)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother stares at the new rooster then bites her lips to keep from laughing. Somehow or another she's learned it isn't wise to laugh at a male who thinks he's a stud. But her shoulders shake from the effort to contain herself.
After a few moments she manages to say: "I reckon he'll be protecting the chickens from that rustler."
Then the new rooster heads over to the manure pile to have a drink or three with Trinity, sheep and the Franken Bird. ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on May 02, 2005, 04:25:12 PM
Then the new rooster heads over to the manure pile to have a drink or three with Trinity, sheep and the Franken Bird. ;D ;D ;D
...and an orange cat. :D
"A Kitty!!!!!"
< Dang, she sounds like me on that one. I reckon everybody does >
;D Refering to the New Rooster in town................There is something about him, something around the eye's.... I know...It reminds me of............. Me! Now I know I hate him ;D
Duke, Daisy, and Claire come home from whereever they've been romping. They aren't just wet, they are covered in a brownish sludge that smells worse than the manure pile. They stop dead to look at the menagerie, then bound in on it.
This awakens Trinity who, with his eyes still closed, reaches out to pet Claire when he realizes where he is and where she has been! "POOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!!!"
The entire crew jumps up leaps off of the manure pile. That is, except for the Franken Bird who is still passed out. Marshall Rooster goes over to him and slaps him awake and pulls him to the side.
Trinity looks at Claire and asks her: "Didja go ta that poop pipe, Claire?, <<whispers>> Didja find mah rang?"
All at once, the three dogs decide it is time to shake off their excess excrement before it hardens into a shell, thereby dousing each and every party standing at the barn. This disturbs Marshal Rooster's twirling demonstration (trying to impress the chicks) so he fires off a few rounds at the nearest dog which would happen to be Duke. Duke, being somewhat older and of more even temperament, merely reaches back to bite at the flea which he thinks just bit him.
And the cat, being a cat and therefore a higher form of life, ignores the whole bunch of them.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother is not quite as well schooled. She looks at the speckles of brown on her dress, exhales a small sound of dismay, turns on a heel and goes back inside, heading to the Wegewood bath.
Mixed in with those speckles of brown are a few speckles of yellow as Delmonico served corn two days ago.
A few moments later, two handsful of used corn come flying out of the cupola window, landing on those below.
Delmonico cleans up at the pump goes in the house and changes his clothes. He heads to his office and slams the door, not lettin' no dogs, cats, roosters or other creatures in. :o :o :o soon spacks are flyin' heavly alnong the four-strand barb-wire broad-band. :P ::) ;)
Trinity's new friend, Franken Bird begins to peck at the used corn husks, followed by the Marshall Rooster. Trinity bends over and pics up a few pieces for himself and deciding that they don't taste bad, begins to pick up more. Soon, the dogs join in and even The Cat is having a few for himself. The only only shying away from the used corn is Sheep, who never really liked corn much... in its raw form anyway.
Zeke pulls up and flashes his Chicken Inspector's Badge. He's surprised to see the crowd before him vanish.
"What can we do fer ya Mr. Chicken Inspector?"
Not fooled by the fake "Chicken Inspectors" badge Delmonico saddles his mule and rides to town to leave Slim to explain the Franken Bird. ;D ;D
(The reason that delmonico ain't fooled is he is a Newbrassky Historian and he knows there were no "Chicken Inspectors in 1885.")
Nebrassky chicken inspectors were instated Aug 1886
The Chicken Inspector clears his throat...
"I am a duly deputized representative of the first party, said party being constituted of those whom I represent. These represented are interested in my activities and require that I inspect those birds held forth as chickens. The reports of the inspected chickens are required by the first party in the first place making the report my first duty. My duty is to inspect the chickens so present them birds right now.
...And all the little baby chicks look up and chime in:
"Peep peep peep....peep peep!"
Trinity sticks his head out from his hiding place, straining to hear the little chicks.
Delmonico has ignored the chicken inspector since they are Slim's chickens. ;D Besides that he's been busy all day. :o
He's been digging a big hole, and getting sand and gravel from a sand bar in the Dismal River, up stream from the pipe. ;D (Did you tell Zeke we are on the Dismal River.)
The sand and gravel he's been mixin' with that Portland Cement he had come in by wagon. He's been pourin' in forms in the hole and been diggin' a trench from the house. By dark the pipe to the river is gone and the faithful Wedgewood Water Closet is flowing into a septic tank to keep Trinity out of the corn. ;D ;D ;D (Did anyone tell Zeke we have a Wedgewood Water Closet and matchin' Dinin' China. ::) ::))
((Author's note: No, I didn't tell him, he asked for the Cliff notes, not the detailed diagram with 8 x 10 glossies with the arrows on the back. :P ))
Well it is important, it will be one of the 555 questions on my test. The NMPI, (Newbrasskey Multi Personality Inventory.) ??? ??? ??? ???
You did tell him there is a test on this.
this will end badly....Litl' Rooster hangs bridal back on the hook and grabs pipe wrench to start his days work.
What in the Sam Hill is a water closet?Septic Tank????
Pa made me move the outhouse a couple of years ago and the well went dry.
(litl' rooster makes note to cram for Delmonico's test)
Unnoticed, a stern looking fellow wearing a black hat and a yellow duster arrived in front of the house. He stared at everybody in front of him (as to if to remember their faces in the future) and only then introduced himself as Scattered Thumbs. He said he would be in the vicinity for a while because he expected some "acquaintances" of his to be in the area and he had "business" with them.
He then asked them if he could tend to his horse there. A black horse as stern looking as his rider.
Note. Sharp eyed persons would take notice that in spite of the fact this new fellow called himself Scattered Thumbs. His saddlebags are marked E.B. :o
Fresh from her bath and wrapped in her flannel kimono, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother opens the door to step outside...
And runs into the stranger in the yellow duster.
Authors note to little rooster and other new folks. We have a Water closet and now a septic tank because they are rare, but perriod correct. The ultimate is to have one that matches the fine Wedgewood China. ::) I am told this can still be done if desired. ;D We can afford it cause I sold a "diamond mine" in Wyoming, also based on Historical fact. ;D
(( CoughWedgwoodnotWedgewoodcough ))
Del. Have I told you how much I hate tests
(http://photoscience.la.asu.edu/photosyn/gifs/yosemite.jpg)
So what is yer point. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Scattered Thumbs (if that is his real name) had no change of expression after the FFG run into him.
His hands disappeared swiftly in is duster's pockets while in his mind the face in front of him was matched against hundreds of other faces printed on pieces of paper. ;D
Having found no match, his hands slowly came out of his pockets holding a pipe on his left hand and a match on his right hand.
He lit his pipe and then said: I'll go tend to my horse now.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother stared after the man. Something about him made her uneasy, but she couldn't pinpoint the source of her feeling. Daisy joined her on the porch and she gave the dog some errant scritches as she looked to the barn.
Delmonico looks at what is going on out his office window, he figgers the stranger in the fish slicker is lookin' for Slim. ;D ;D ;D Who else would wear a fish on a bright clear day. ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on May 04, 2005, 03:58:11 PM
Delmonico looks at what is going on out his office window, he figgers the stranger in the fish slicker is lookin' for Slim. ;D ;D ;D Who else would wear a fish on a bright clear day. ;D
One with lots of revolvers hidden under it? ;D
But, you may be right, that Slim carachter sounds fishy. ;D I'll have to look into it. ;D
Trinity comes out of the brush and sees the stranger talking to Delmonico through his office window. Stepping up on the porch, he finds the FFG knitting happily in her rocking chair.
"Who's the stranger, Miss FFG?"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother pauses in her knitting and scowls a little.
"Well, he said his name was Scattered Thumbs. He says he's expecting some acquaintances to arrive to do some business. But.. " she scowls a little more deeply, "his saddle bags have the initials ee bee, and he was wearing a duster on a clear day. And... he seems even more surly than Delmonico, somehow." She folds her knitting in her lap.
"I dunno, Trinity, but I get the feeling he's up to no good."
(Authors note: a slicker, a fish slicker not a duster. ;D)
Delmonico meets the stranger in the barn and tells him how many cans of sardines in olive oil that Slim eats with crackers, in bed after he thinks everyone is asleep.. "Now that sounds fishy." ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)
"No Del, It doesn't sound fishy, it smails fishy!" Trinity emphasizes his comment by waving the air in front of his nose.
While talking, Trinity also pays close attention to the cloth of the stranger's duster and determines that it is indeed a duster as it is merely dyed canvas instead of rubberized canvas.
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on May 04, 2005, 08:46:56 AM
Unnoticed, a stern looking fellow wearing a black hat and a yellow duster arrived in front of the house.
((He said it was a duster, so it's a duster! So there! :P ))
the label in the collar sez "genuine Filson Fish slicker" made of 100% Fish Slicker?
From the barn Elliot Belt, er, Scattered Thumbs watches the FFG and the fellow called Trinity talking.
In the back of his mind there's a sort of warning about that Trinity fellow, even if he can't match his face to any poster that he remembers, there is something about Trinity's eyes and attitude that has triggered his alarm system.
After these thoughts Scattered Thumbs proceeds to inspect and clean all the revolvers he's got, the four he's carrying on him :o and the others he keeps in his saddlebags. ::)
He then smokes another pipe and has some shut eye.
In the middle of the night Scattered Thumbs gathers his stuff, mounts his horse and leaves the ranch.
Maybe he's looking for that suspicious Slim fellow Delmonico told him about. ;D
Note. The duster may be dirty and covered with dust and maybe some mud. but it still is a duster not a fish ;D
Note 2. That's a fake label. What would you expect of a fellow using a fake name ;D
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on May 05, 2005, 03:31:19 AM
From the barn Elliot Belt, er, Scattered Thumbs watches the FFG and the fellow called Trinity talking.
In the back of his mind there's a sort of warning about that Trinity fellow, even if he can't match his face to any poster that he remembers, there is something about Trinity's eyes and attitude that has triggered his alarm system.
After these thoughts Scattered Thumbs proceeds to inspect and clean all the revolvers he's got, the four he's carrying on him :o and the others he keeps in his saddlebags. ::)
He then smokes another pipe and has some shut eye.
In the middle of the night Scattered Thumbs gathers his stuff, mounts his horse and leaves the ranch.
Maybe he's looking for that suspicious Slim fellow Delmonico told him about. ;D
Note. The duster may be dirty and covered with dust and maybe some mud. but it still is a duster not a fish ;D
Note 2. That's a fake label. What would you expect of a fellow using a fake name ;D
I should have known and a fake name too...next you'll tell me that's a toy pistol in your hand
Quote from: litl rooster on May 05, 2005, 03:36:08 AMI should have known and a fake name too...next you'll tell me that's a toy pistol in your hand
Well, they're used
as toys ;D But they are not toys, no sir.
Quote from: Delmonico on May 04, 2005, 12:01:51 PM
So what is yer point. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
I got no points. I'm well rounded. Especially in the middle. ::)
Having observed the goings on in town, Stoney emerges from the shadow's and inserts himself uninvited, yet not apologetically, into the story. He checks his guns, mounts his horse and without saying a word begins riding with the man in the yellow duster/fish.
In the early morning hours, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother stands on the porch, her hands wrapped around a warm mug of coffee.
She watches in silence as the stranger in the yellow duster slips away. Taking a sip of coffe, she continues to watch as another man joins the first and they move away from the house.
"Hrm."
Though no words have been spoken as of yet, Stoney can tell he has been totally appraised in only one glance fromt he man in the Duster/Fish.
As he rides away he feels another set of eyes on him. He continues to ride in silence.
In the dim light of dawn Elliot Belt, er, Sacattered Thumbs recognizes one Stoney Pete, with whom he had associated in the past for hunting down a prey to big for one man alone. After riding a while together in silence Scattered Thumbs finally says: Stoney Pete! I heard somewhere some cattle rustlers had got you, down in the Nations. But I see it ain't so.
Having said that Scattered Thumbs pulls out his pipe and lits it.
"I've heard that rumor myself and done nothing to discourage the rumor. In this line of work being thought dead has it advantages." "So tell, me are we, going after the same prey again. If we are, are we partners or competators?"
Stoney, though confident of his ability, knew his limitations. He did not want to find out if he was better that ST. Fact is, he was sure the "winner" would be decided by more luck than skill.
Delmonico goes out to the barn and sees the pipe ashes. He goes to the tool shed and gets out some paint and a board and makes a sign. "If Yer Smokin' in This Barn, Ya better be on Fire." ;D ;D
"Damnedable bounty hunters, most ain't got enough sense not to smoke in a fellas barn! >:( >:( ::) ;)
"I wonder if they're gonna shoot Slim, hang him or just haul him back tied to the back of a horse."
"Well I won't set him a supper plate till I find out if they kill him." :o ;)
Scattered Thumbs eyed Stoney and thought for himself. I may have to deal with him if he his a competitor. But, there's no profit in that and I still may need his help. He finally answers back. I don't have a marked prey just yet, only rumors that some fellers with prizes on their heads came up this way. some may be hiding under the appearence of respectable folk. I'll have to smoke'em out. for starters I have info about one red bearded slim fella. There's more than one wanted poster with that description on. :o
After this long speech Scattered Thumbs finds out is pipe isn't lit anymore. So he starts looking for another match.
"Partners it is then." Stoney hands his lit ceegar to ST to use as a match. He puts the tiedown back on his left revolver, leaving the right not tied down. It was still dark and they had left town. Hate to be kilt by some critter they startled in the dark.
Stoney was glad he'd seen ST. Havin' been a year since his last bounty, the $3K he got for it was getting thin. Yeah, there'd been odd jobs here and there workin' a posse or two. But that money barely paid for ammo, grain and food. It was never enough to put a roof over his head for more than a night...two at best. Nothin' paid like a bounty. This one smelled like money.
Scattered Thumbs wondered if Stoney Pete (being younger) had an idea of what bounty hunting could do to a man, especially to a man that had been in that line of "business" for so many years as he himself had been.
Authors Note: Stoney is from somewhere near Stockbridge Mass. He should understand what man huntin' does to a man. He has heard the stories of the late Chief of Police from Stockbridge Mass. Officer Obie. ;D
Stoney's Note:
Quote from: Delmonico on May 05, 2005, 08:26:55 AM
Authors Note: Stoney is from somewhere near Stockbridge Mass. He should understand what man huntin' does to a man. He has heard the stories of the late Chief of Police from Stockbridge Mass. Officer Obie. ;D
Stoney always makes sure he doesn't leave any addressed stuff in his trash when he dumps it on the side of the road. And I ain't never ate in Alice's Resteraunt.
After making a spiralling out movement around the ranch for some hours Scattered Thumbs looked up to the Sun and said to Pete. There's nothing worth mentioning so far on this area. So let's split, you'll ride back to that ranch and try to get some grub and make friends with them, we need more info on the red bearded fellow. I'll keep circling away from the ranch to see if I find anything. We'll meet later on at the ranch.
One more thing watch out for that Trinity fella he looks harmless at first look but don't let looks deceive you. I figger he's about as harmless as a rattler.
I nearly forgot. If you cross paths with a curly haired fella named Arlo, there's a 5 cents prize on his head for littering ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother finishes her coffee and heads back inside. On her way, she stops at the hammock to give the sleeping Trinity a light pat on his shoulder.
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on May 05, 2005, 11:08:14 AM
I nearly forgot. If you cross paths with a curly haired fella named Arlo, there's a 5 cents prize on his head for littering ;D
"That will buy breakfast. Is that warent Dead or Alive?", Stoney says as he turns to head back to the ranch. He arrive just as the lady gets up from her coffee and wakes a man as she walks inside. What did ST say? "Harmless as a Rattler."? This here gent must be Trinity.
Slim, looking like death warmed over, walks down the stairs from his room. He goes into the kitchen, rummages in the ice box, pulls out the orange juice, and pours a LARGE glass full. He shuffles o'er to the table, sits on a chair, and puts his head on the table.
Delmonico points out that there is another geeetar player with curly hair hangin' round, named not Arlo but Robert. ;D
Delmonico knows these two are bounty hunters and most likey lookin' for Slim with some sort of paper. Having known Slim since before this thread started, he knows what trouble Slim causes. ;D ;D
Delmonico figgers they are either range detectives out seekin' Slim for his one the side cattle rustlin' or the are from the Fish and Willdlife Service lookin' for him in violation of the Endangerd Species Act and have not forgotten the Blowout Pendstrom in-co-dent a 150 pages or so ago. ;D ;D
Either way Delmonico gets out his shovel and a tarp in case they kill him, they of course will not take his whole body back to town, just his red beard. A quick burial of the remains will help keep "The Ranch with No Name' clean and oder free. ;D
Quote from: AnnieLee on May 05, 2005, 11:09:34 AM
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother finishes her coffee and heads back inside. On her way, she stops at the hammock to give the sleeping Trinity a light pat on his shoulder.
The FFG's light pat frighten's Trinity such that he falls out of the hammock flat on his face. He gets up, brushes off his clothes, smiles and asks her what the matter is.
Meanwhile, some miles North East of the ranch just before Sunset, Scattered Thumbs had finally found tracks, lots of tracks, but intriguing though, ??? they seemed to have all been made by the same horse. There were tracks coming from the general direction of the ranch headed North East and tracks coming from North East and going in the direction of the ranch. Some tracks were fairly recent but there were also older ones. What's going on here? Scattered Thumbs asked himself. Could this be the Red Bearded Man that Delmonico fellow told me about?
And speaking of Delmonico, Scattered Thumbs couldn't rightly know what he thought about that fellow. All that talk about fish. Was he some sort of clairvoyant? ::) How could he possibly know that Scattered Thumbs had been born in 1837 in a small fishing town the other side of the Atlantic Ocean? And he had put out to sea at the age of 10, having finally landed on Nantucket, from a whaler ship, in the distant year of 1852 absolutely fed up of sea life. And what about what he said of the Red Bearded Man? Was that to be believed? Or was Delmonico just expecting Scattered Thumbs to get him rid of a business partner? He decided he wouldn't trust much this Delmonico fellow. But then again he wasn't of a trusting nature. He even has a small box, where he keeps his matches, with the words "Trust no one" engraved on. ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother comes back outside when she hears the thump. She helps Trinity up and gets him somewhat dusted off. Her voice is quiet.
"There was a man in a yellow duster who came around yesterday. He set my nerves on edge so you might want to be careful."
As she finishes her sentence, she looks up to see Stoney Pete entering the yard.
"And that man was with him."
Stoney rides up to the porch. "Lookin' for a place rest my horse, get a cup of whatever is available and maybe swap stories or news you folks may have or need."
The woman seemed on edge. Not in a rude manner, but one like a cat that's ready for fight or flight as the situation warrented. Trininty, (or at least that who Stoney thought he was) was hard to read. He still had sleep in his eyes and was recovering from his fall. He fought the urge to check his, gun. "It's stil there.", he thought. "Your lookin' for info not confrontation. Use force if you have to." All this went through his mind while he looked at them and smiled his best smile, desperately hoping it did not look like a grimmace.
She saw his fingers give that small twitch. "Oh lands, he's going for it!" she thought, but his hand relaxed so her own stayed away from the wand.
"You can stable the horse over there," pointing out the barn, "and I'll get some coffee. Eggs and biscuits will be up in a minute."
She was uncomfortable going inside the house. She didn't like showing her back to the man, and the spot on her back where the bullet could enter gave a warning prickle. As she went in, Daisy and Duke bounded outside to give the man a sniff.
Dogs. Stoney liked dogs. They were a good judge of character. Hopefully these dogs would not be the exception to that rule.
Stoney got off his horse and walked him to the barn. He removed his saddle and curry combed him. Every time he did this, the voice of his dad echoed in his head. "Take care of you mount because he takes care of you. You don't eat or sleep till your horse is taken care of." Stoney removed some grain from his saddle bags and fed his horse, made sure there was water and headed out of the barn.
The dogs. They were waiting out there. As he walked to the house they followed. Never aggressive, just watching him. In fact their eyes were like that of the woman. Like they were her eyes...
Miles away from the ranch Scattered Thumbs wakes up slowly with his body feeling sore. I'm getting too old for this outdoors livin' he thinks. I hope Stoney Pete is doin' all right at the ranch, He's easier to be trusted than me that's for sure. As long as he remembers there's no profit in tangling with that Trinity feller He'll be fine.
One thing that puzzles Scattered Thumbs, however, is how come that Trinity feller managed to stay away from the "wanted" posters. He must be smarter than he looks. And that makes him even more dangerous.
Scattered Thumbs decides to follow the tracks going North East trying to find their source. If he comes up empty he'll sneak back to the ranch next Monday.
She was inside the house for a time, long enough for her to hide all the evidence of Trinity's operation. Sniffing out and stashing all the jugs took some doing. She checked Delmonico's door and it was locked, as usual.
Finally, she stepped back out on the porch. Daisy had gotten closer to the man, almost near enough for him to pet her, but Duke warily kept his distance.
She extended the mug of coffee to the man.
Stoney takes the cup, says, "Thanks.", and tip his hat to the lady. He notices she has a wand. He's curious, but minds his business. Pondering what tact he may take he decides he can trust the woman. She had sized him up and lying to her and avoiding the truth would only make any information she'd part with harder to aquire.
Throwing caution to the wind Stoney says, "Name's Stoney Pete. I'm looking for information on a fella name of Slim. Silver Creek Slim to be precise. Tall, Red bearded fella. Heard of him?"
"Red beared, you say? There's a lot of men with red beards. My father had dark brown hair but a red beard." She smiles a little as she looks at him. "Your beard looks red to me. Are you on a quest for self knowledge?"
"As you say, there is alot men with red beards. I've managed to keep mine offn' any wanted papers. As for self reflection, it must be done daily. Can't spend you life cleaningup society without cleaning one's own house."
Stoney knew she was withholding information. Being such a sparsely populated area she probably knew Slim, or at least his wearabouts.
"But what if that portion of society doesn't want to be cleaned up? Why bother yourself with other people's business?"
In the middle of her sentence, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother's eyes grow wide as she spies Franken Bird joining Duke to stare at the man.
"I get paid to bring them in. That makes them, my business. As to what they want, it never enters my mind."
Stoney looks over at Trinity. He hasn't moved. He also notices the womans eyes be distracted behind him, but does not turn around. Remembering his left gun is still tied down he moves the coffee to his left hand. Time to change the subject.
"You mentioned eggs. That offer still open or has my profession closed that door?
Glad for the distraction, she opens the door and they enter the house. The biscuits are already made and she works on the eggs. Trinity follows in without saying a word and she makes a gigantic bowl of eggs for him which he sets upon eating. Claire sits at his feet, catching the numerous scraps from his shoveling. She makes a plate of eggs for Stoney Pete.
"Would you like some orange juice?"
"Yes, Please."
Stoney sits and eats. Not sure who's won the first round...if anyone. He does know he has no advantage. She has not thrown him out on his head. That's something. Stoney decides to keep his mouths shut and not "voluteer" anymore info.
Authors note: I'm outta here for the weekend. Be gentile with my character. He's but a few pages old. ::)
Quote from: stoneypete on May 06, 2005, 12:02:20 PM
"Yes, Please."
Stoney sits and eats. Not sure who's won the first round...if anyone. He does know he has no advantage. She has not thrown him out on his head. That's something. Stoney decides to keep his mouths shut and not "voluteer" anymore info.
Authors note: I'm outta here for the weekend. Be gentile with my character. He's but a few pages old. ::)
((I'll behave, but there's no accounting for Del. He'll do as he wants, we just hang on for the ride and try to fix stuff! :D Have a great weekend! AL ))
Delmonico sits in his office listenin' to all this and laughs at the bounty hunters runnin' around in circles. The fishy one is followin' the tracks to trinity's #4 still and he ain't no revanooorer so don't care. Fact few out here cares about moonshining unless the moonshiner is sellin' up North on the Lakota reservation.
Delmonico watches the other ride straght west, right into that tangle of lakes where it all looks alike and a fella can bog down quicker than in jungle quicksand. The Sandhills is no where for some fella from back east to be wonderin' around on his own. ;D ;D ;D ;D There is a reason it was one of the last places explored in the West, folks were scared of it. :o
Slim sits up and wipes the drool off his beard. He stands up and shuffles back upstairs to his bed.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother follows Slim upstairs and makes sure he gets his boots off and is tucked into bed. Rummaging through her reticule, she crumbles some eucalyptis and mint and places it under his pillow to help him to breathe. Giving him a gentle smooch on his forehead, she slips back out of his room, quietly closing his door.
Litl' Rooster sure is glad he has become friends with the barber and has removed his red beard. I knew when I seen that genuine imatation fish slicker....Things weren't Kosher in Nebrassky any more.....WARNING ...WARNING....... WARNING
Authors Note: Never fear I sent the fella from Massy-chew-sis straight west from the ranch. In a day or so he'll be here, just like Paul on the road to Anitoch. He gonna be in trouble also.
http://terraserver.microsoft.com/image.aspx?T=2&S=16&Z=13&X=54&Y=361&W=3&qs=%7cAntioch%7cNE%7c
The fish guy is gonna end up buyin' swamp land in Newbrassky. ;D And he headed North-East on his own. ::)
http://terraserver.microsoft.com/image.aspx?T=2&S=14&Z=14&X=140&Y=1458&W=1&qs=%7cRose%7cNE%7c
Quote from: Delmonico on May 06, 2005, 07:25:34 PM
The fish guy is gonna end up buyin' swamp land in Newbrassky. ;D And he headed North-East on his own. ::)
http://terraserver.microsoft.com/image.aspx?T=2&S=14&Z=14&X=140&Y=1458&W=1&qs=%7cRose%7cNE%7c
Quote from: Delmonico on May 06, 2005, 07:20:59 PM
Authors Note: Never fear I sent the fella from Massy-chew-sis straight west from the ranch. In a day or so he'll be here, just like Paul on the road to Anitoch. He gonna be in trouble also.
http://terraserver.microsoft.com/image.aspx?T=2&S=16&Z=13&X=54&Y=361&W=3&qs=%7cAntioch%7cNE%7c
Sandhills will kill him.....Hope the fish slicker is snake proof where he is going
Prairie Rattlers ain't much over 3 ft long but someplaces they be hundreds of them. If he stays off the ridges he should be all right as long as he don't sink in them wet medows and the snappin' turtles and the leeches gets him, or the skeeters. ;D ;D ;D
Hope that fella from Massy-chew-sis is careful if'n he gets thirsty, some a dem lakes be very Alkali. ;D ;D
Quote from: AnnieLee on May 06, 2005, 12:26:10 PM
Quote from: stoneypete on May 06, 2005, 12:02:20 PM
"Yes, Please."
Stoney sits and eats. Not sure who's won the first round...if anyone. He does know he has no advantage. She has not thrown him out on his head. That's something. Stoney decides to keep his mouths shut and not "voluteer" anymore info.
Authors note: I'm outta here for the weekend. Be gentile with my character. He's but a few pages old. ::)
((I'll behave, but there's no accounting for Del. He'll do as he wants, we just hang on for the ride and try to fix stuff! :D Have a great weekend! AL ))
((I was going to say the saaaaaame thing!!! :D :D :D ;) ))
"Thankee fer a wonnerful brekfast, Miss FFG! It were quite possibly the best Ah done ever haid!" Fidgety, Trinity comments to the FFG that he feels that he should make a trip out to still #3 to check on the output. "C'mon Claire!!"
With that, man and dog go outside and disappear by foot into the brush.
Delmonico laughs cause he knows the tracks the fish man followed are the ones Trinity makes to the fake still and they lead into a very swampy wet meadow. Trinity is smart enough to not take the same route each time and make a path and Slim is also. ;D ;D
Delmonico figgers the man-hunters will learn a lot before Monday, if they survive. :o :o
Having finished his breakfast, Stoney thanked the lady and prepared to leave when a big bearded fella that smelled of garlic and other assoreted cooking ingredients come out from his office. He "volunteered" information about Slim sending him west.
Stoney, went to the barn and gathered his gear, saddled his horse and rode west. As soon as he was outta sight of the ranch. He turned and headed back to ST. Having come from back east Stoney was used to folks not trusting him. He's been sent on many a wild goose chase. He was not about to go on another.
The lady knew more than she was saying. He'd get ST and then wait outside the ranch and observe. For all Pete knew, Slim was upstairs sleeping.
Delmonico reads the post and wonders who the beared man that smells of garlic is?
Since the grounds he's threading are getting worse by the hour, Scattered Thumbs decides to head back to the ranch before he gets himself in trouble, he figgers the answers will be back there anyways. Afterall the more recent tracks are heading for the ranch.
Meanwhile he curses himself. Why the heck did he go that far North afterall? He remembers a famous sherriff he met in Abilene more then 10 years ago. He too went North into the Dakota territory, only to be shot in the back by the town idiot in some forsaken mining hellhole.
I'll get back to that darn ranch and wring the full story out of them bozos if need be. >:(
<Author's note. Everybody knows I mentioned getting back on Monday. But if you're going to trust an evil bounty hunter you must be mad under your scalps ;D >
Quote from: Delmonico on May 07, 2005, 10:07:14 AM
Delmonico reads the post and wonders who the beared man that smells of garlic is?
< Author's note. Have you forgot to shave this last week? ::) >
Authors note: No, was just wonderin' though cause someone mistook my blue polka dot banndana in my Avatar for a beard one day. That's it I could become "Blue Polka Dot Beard" the pirate. ;D
Delmonico comes into the kitchen, "If yer looking fer Slim, he was bad sick, I took him to Sargent to 2 fingered Henry, the doctor. ;D He put him in the hospital."
"If ya want to question him I'll tell ya how to get there, just follow the Dismal downstream to Dunning. Ya won't need to pack a luch, you'll be able to find corn to eat along the way." ;D ;D
When you get to Dunning turn south-east and follow the CB&Q tracks to Sargent. You fellas can follow tracks can't ya." ;D ;D ;D
author's note: I'm not here right now. ;D I'm still coming back to the ranch. That's why I put author's note in the begining of my posts ::) ;D
Author's note: Ok just the fella from Massy-chew-sis can follow the tracks. ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on May 07, 2005, 04:54:47 PM
Author's note: Ok just the fella from Massy-chew-sis can follow the tracks. ;D
He will end up in a church that's been converted to a home/resturant or hit by a train
As the bounty hunter from Massy-chew-sis walks down the track of the CB&Q RR a train comes the other way. He jumps off the track just in time not to get run over. As the train goes by he notices a small chrch loaded on a flat car. On the church is a sign, "Alice's Dining Car." ;D ;D
While Delmonico stands there and lies to the air about sending Slim to the hospital, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother slips upstairs to check on Slim. He seems to be doing a little better, but not well enough to get out of bed. She feeds him some toast and a lot more orange juice.
A little while later, she helps him to the Wedgwood room, stands outside the door until he is done, then helps him back to bed.
author's note**** Litl' Rooster again has to wipe cofffee from magic writin' box third time this week.
While the bounty hunters stand around scratchin' their heads Litl' Rooster gets on Slim's horse and rides off in another direction, leaving and obivous trail for them to follow. Getting to the Dismal he rides back up stream and starts a second trail so the Bounty Hunter will stay confused.
authors note***** (I wander if those folks in Alice' Dining Car are smokin' fine Cigars?)
(Authors Note: If they're drinkin' coffee they are. ;D)
Two fingered Henry the doctor shows up in the yard. Delmonico had sent him an E-Mail on his barb-wire broadband. He drives his bugg in to the yard backwards to confuse the bounty hunters. (At this point it doesn't seem really hard. ;D)
Delmonico tells the doc that Slim is upstairs and to go right up. "It's a good thing Slim got you some geese last fall with his mighty 10 ga. He'll be glad you have some goose grease. ;D ;D ;D ;D :P :o)
Her hands crossed over her chest, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother sternly greets the doc.
"If you stick two fingers anywhere in Slim, you'll feel the full measure of my wand." With a tight smile, she shows him the twelve tapered inches. "Do you understand?"
The doc blanches, then stutters. "Y... y... yes m...Ma'am, I d..ddo."
"Good."
She opens the door and follows him inside. Daisy scampers in after her and the door closes.
Delmonico rides up to the porch on his mule, he is barefoot and his pants are rolled up, in his hand is a Mason Jar. Going up the stairs he enters Slim's room and hands the jar to the Doc. "Here's the leeches you sent me for." :o :o :o ::) ::) :P :P :P :P :D ;)
The Fairy Godmother says nothing, she simply twitches her wand.
***POOF*** Delmonico disappears and a new leech is inside the jar.
Delmonico sits in the jar very upset, he got the doctor for Slim, he got what the doctor asked him to get, he sent the bounty hunters off on a wild goose chase. His "Alice's Dining Car" post made lil rooster laugh so hard he got coffee on his screen. He tried to drown the bounty hunters whe they took off on friday. And what does he get, but turned into a leech, by a Frumpy Fairy Godmother, and all he did was try hard to help. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Well this is the last straw, how could things get worse, could they get worse, yes they could, Slim could get better and want to go Walleye fishing. :'( :'( :'( ::) :o :o ;) Might as well, he's got bait now. ;D
Naw, Slim won't use him for bait, how many leeches are wearing purple floral print aprons?
Slim can just put a sign on the gate and charge the local kids a penny to see the freak leech.
:D
"Doc, whatcha gonna do wit dem leeches?!?!" >:( ??? "I'm much better, now. What's fer breakfast?"
Scattered Thumbs made his way back to the ranch. And, having found no one to greet him (not even Stoney Pete ??? ) he peeks inside from the front door, and still sees no one. Hello! Anybody home!? It's Scattered Thumbs I'm coming in! He climbs upstairs and finally finds the Red Bearded Man. He's in bed surrounded by the FFG and another fellow he had never seen before but that looks like some kind of a Medicoe. Howdy! He says startling everyone in the room except for the Red Bearded Man that saw him at the door. You be one Silver Creek Slim? He asks. I got some "wanted" posters with me that have descriptions that fit you like a glove. I intend to take you to the Sheriff office in Kearney and see if I can collect any prize for you. What say ye?
Author's note: Scattered Thumbs said all this with his hands inside his duster pockets. ::)
Stoney wakes from his slumber. He can't shake the dream about "Alice's Resaraunt" on a train...and something about following tracks ??? As the cowbwebs clear he become cognisent just in time to she the lady make the man on the horse disappear. Stoney also realized the "beard" he'd seen in the dark room 3 days ago was really a bandana. No matter, the man was gone ??? :o He just plum disappeared. What in all creation did I get myself wrapped up in. I's best wait for ST. He knows these folks better than me. Ah! There's ST now.
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on May 09, 2005, 09:39:18 AM
"Doc, whatcha gonna do wit dem leeches?!?!" >:( ??? "I'm much better, now. What's fer breakfast?"
Author's note: Leeches for breakfast. :o :-X
MY 200th POST. ;D
[/font][/size][/color]
Stoney walk his horse up to the porch and slips inside, shotgun in hand. Stoney hears ST confront Slim. He cocks both hammers and waits for the other shoe to drop.
Only then Scattered Thumbs notices the leeches. And one of them got a purple apron on? :o
This is wierd. ::) <Shakes his head>
"That ain't the half of it, stranger. Next, Rod Serling is gonna show up and make a little speech." ;D
QuoteThere is a fifth dimension, beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition.
Rod Sterling
QuoteIt may be said with a degree of assurance that not everything that meets the eye is as it appears.
Rod Sterling
Hearing no rukus upstairs, Stoney open his scattergun and lowers the hammers. While locking the barrels home he heads up the stairs. In the room is the lady, a doc, Slim and ST. Doc is holding a jar of leaches. In the jar of leaches is one dressed like the man that disappered. "Oh male bovine fecal matter", Stoney says under his breath.
Where did that strange music came from? ???
But never mind that. What's your answer Mister are you coming peacefully or not?
Having said that Scattered Thumbs suddenly disappears.
Only his hat remains on the floor :o
"What happened to the stranger in the yeller coat?" ???
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on May 09, 2005, 11:37:27 AM
Having said that Scattered Thumbs suddenly disappears.
Only his hat remains on the floor :o
Inside the jar of leeches is now a new leech, dressed in a yellow coat.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother says nothing, but she blows imaginary smoke from the end of her wand.
Trinity emerges from the brush and looks around. Seeing the strangers' horses, he retreats again.
Stoney slowly draws the "papers" from his pocket, finds the one what says Slim and tears it to shreads. "Ain't no bounty worth that.", he said while pointing to the jar.
Some would call this a cowardly action. Some would call it self preservation and they'd be very close to the truth. The fact is Stoney knows when it's time to cut his loses.
"If this is how you protect your friends, I'd rather, be considered amoung them."
(Author's note: You know, one of these days I should make up a name for the Frumpy Fairy Godmother. :P
Oh, and thank you for the perfect setup for her, Scattered Thumbs! :-*)
Author's note. Heading out. I'll log in tomorrow and hope I'm still human. ::) ;D
Quote from: stoneypete on May 09, 2005, 12:15:04 PM
Author's note. Heading out. I'll log in tomorrow and hope I'm still human. ::) ;D
See ya. ;)
Slim
"I'm hungry! How 'bout some breakfast?" ;D
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on May 09, 2005, 12:29:07 PM
"I'm hungry! How 'bout some breakfast?" ;D
"Sounds good to me!" The Frumpy Fairy Godmother takes the jar of leeches and heads downstairs. The poor doc just stands there, gawking. His mouth moves but nothing comes out but little squeaking noises.
Slim climbs outta bed, pulls on his britches, and goes down to the kitchen. Leaving the Doc behind making the squeaking noises.
She places the jar on the countertop. Duke and Daisy put their paws on the counter to sniff at the jar.
"Anything I can make, you can have, Slim. What would you like?"
"Eggs and bacon would be great. Thanks."
"What? No orange juice?" She winks, then makes a double pile of bacon and eggs, setting out five places.
"Trinity will smell the food and come in."
"Yes, orange juice would be good, too."
Stoney goes out to his horse and puts the shotgun in the scabboard. He comes in and sits down, hopping to get some more of the lady's hospitality. ;D Then he remembers his horse. Goes out unsaddles and curried him down. Gave some grain from the saddle.
Upon entering the house Breakfast was ready and there was even a place for him. Stoney, still unsure if this was just hospitality or an "olive branch" thanked the lady and sat to eat.
Author's note: Got DSL at home now. That means I'll keep tabs from home more often. ;D
Authors Note: Since Delmonico gave the FFg the lead to save the day, ya could change him back any time. either that or he'll have to know the jar over, get out and hid in the Wedgewood and wait fer a victum. :o :o :o
Will you be bringing ST and that other fella back to the land of the human soon?
"Perhaps in a bit."
As she moves to get the orange juice, Duke gives the jar of leeches a nudge with his nose. The jar topples over, crashing into a bazillion pieces on the floor. More quickly than the Frumpy Fairy Godmother can react, Daisy dives in and chomps up one of the leeches!
"Ack! No!"
The wand waves wildly and an unbitten, undamaged Delmonico is returned to normal. The leech with the yellow duster is safely crawling on the counter top. He's put in a new jar, out of reach of the pups.
Though there was no "love" between Stoney and ST, they were partners in this adventure. They had worked together in the past and he did enjoy a solid professional relationship with him. Seeing him still as a leech caused a twinge sorrow.
It was short lived. Stoney was still human and breakfast was good.
Delmonico is tired after trying so hard to help and being turned into a leech. ;D ::)
He puts his gall-osh-es on over his boots and says: "I'm followin' the Dismal down to Dunning and gonna catch the train. I want to try out that new fancy dining car." ;D ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on May 09, 2005, 05:45:22 PM
Delmonico is tired after trying so hard to help and being turned into a leech. ;D ::)
He puts his gall-osh-es on over his boots and says: "I'm followin' the Dismal down to Dunning and gonna catch the train. I want to try out that new fancy dining car." ;D ;D
Ask for Alice. ;D
I will, but I ain't eatin' no corn anywhere downstream from the ranch for another month or two. Thats why I put on my gall-osh-ee's, Trinity used to eat a lot of corn. ;D
Delmonicop arrives in Dunning to find Litl Rooster's horses tyed at the station with a 1/2 ton garbage packed on them with shovels and rakes and other implements of destruction. Lit'l Rooster is in the Fancy new dining car enjoy hot biscuits and some steak and dining with the pres ci dent of the R.R. With a hand shake to the R.R. boss I get up to leave and Delmonico enters the Dining car.
Shortly after the bacon is served, Trinity busts through the door with such force that the door falls off of the hinges!
"Bacon! I smail Bacon!!!! Gimme Bacon!!!!!! I love Bacon!!!!!!!"
Trinity Sits at his seat. As a joke, the FFG serves him twenty slices of bacon but the joke is on her because within minutes he has finished and is asking for more.
Shaking her head with a smile, she fries up more bacon. As she serves it, she makes the introductions.
"Trinity, this is Stoney Pete, and the slimy gent in the jar calls himself Scattered Thumbs. He tried to take away Slim. He's been a very bad boy."
She smiles to Stoney Pete. "They call me the Frumpy Fairy Godmother, though that's not my name, it's my job. It's not a job, it's an adventure! Somebody has to watch out for this ...." she searches for an appropriate word, flails and fails, "crew."
Trinity leans over to Stoneypete and whispers: "She's really a squirrel with a paper hat!"
Outloud with a smile: "Thankee, Miss FFG fer the Bacon! It shore is good!" ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother smiles and does nothing. After all, earlier in the day she hid all of Trinity's "squeezin's," so she knows where they are, but he doesn't!
Satisfied, Trinity pushes back from the table and pats his belly. To Stoneypete he says: "Ah'll bet you ain' never haid no real good corn squeezin's, have you? Ah'll go git some!"
With that, he leaves the kitchen and heads toward his room.
Trinity heads to his room and the Frumpy Fairy Godmother smiles and waits for the scream.
The FFG gleefully awaits the scream, but to her disappointment, she doesn't hear it. The only sound to be heard is a loud "THUD"
Her eyes widen at the thud.
"Excuse me a moment, please."
She bolts up the stairs to Trinity's room.
There she finds Trinity on his back, eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling. He is not out cold, but he is not all together either. He is mumbling some unintelligible gibberish.
Delmonico decides to ride the train to Alliance and spend the night. Sittin' at the table with lil rooster (wonder why he don't capitalize his Name) Delmonico orders a Rocky Mountian Trout, a favorite on dining cars in West. ;)
When it comes he knows it's fresh and cooked just right, he can tell by lookin', not not Delmonico the trout. ;D ;D ;D Just before he digs into the side of the head just below the still staring eyes he says "Here's looking at ya babe" and then removes the delicate cheek meat. :) :) :) :) ;D ;D ;)
She looks down at Trinity, tsks, then disappears for a moment. When she comes back with a scattering of glittering sawdust, she has a jug in her hand.
"Serves you right for calling me a squirrel," she says, and splashes some of the contents onto his vapid face.
There is a loud crash from the kitchen and before Stoney Pete can say "I didn't do it!" Scattered Thumbs reverts back to himself and is sitting on the kitchen counter among the shards from the shattered jar. What he doesn't know is that all the ammunition in the cylinders of his revolvers is now baby leeches.
Still hungry, Delmonico orders some smoked tongue and a dozen oysters on the half shell. (Few folks today realize some of the finest dining in the West was on train dining cars. Folks used to ride the trains just to eat in the cars.) Delmonico is offered fresh pineapple but chooses a fine tangerine instead. ;D The wine list is a fine one, but he chooses some Jamacian coffee instead. Some fine Swiss chocolate finishes the meal. Delmonico enjoys his coffee as they pull into Alliance.
He checks into the nice hotel, not the cheap one the RR crew stays in, lil rooster gets the rome acrross the hall. As they have seegars and more coffee on the porch, Delmonico wonders how they are farin' back at the ranch, but not much. ;D
A man comes up on the porch and joins them for coffee, Delmonico reconizes him as Doc Middleton, the famous gentleman horse theif. Now if them two bounty hunters were really as good as they think they are, there is far more money on his head than Slim's, but Delmonico knows he's to sharp for them. ;D ;D
litl' rooster ( is not magic writin' box savy yet so does little caps)puffs on his seegar and glances at Doc Middleton, and a candle lights in his old feeble head. He has also put little stock in to the facts that stoney pete and ST are really bounty hunters. Now seeing Doc Middleton is in the territory he feels they may be in kahoots. Hope,Trinity and FFg are on there toes back at the ranch.
"Welcome back to the land of the human ST.", Stoney said. "Just so your aware of the situation, our "partnership" is disolved. The red bearded one is no longer on any papers I carry. Unless you want to become bait again, I'd suggest dropping this target."
Stoney, feeling relaxed and at home in this place, grabbed the pot from the stove and poured ST a cup of coffee. "I'd offer you some bacon, but Trinity ate it all."
"I like it here ST. Unless, the lady sends me packin', I've found a place to set some roots. You prolly won't be needing to split any bounty with me any more."
Stoney sits and waits for Trinity to come down with some of his shine. Yeah, it was still moring, but it's a misconception that shine is any better for you latter in the day. ::)
Quote from: AnnieLee on May 09, 2005, 10:34:40 PM
She looks down at Trinity, tsks, then disappears for a moment. When she comes back with a scattering of glittering sawdust, she has a jug in her hand.
"Serves you right for calling me a squirrel," she says, and splashes some of the contents onto his vapid face.
Trinity jerks back into existence and, with joy in his eyes, opens his mouth wide to accept the recipe. Getting up, he's holding his heart: "Whew, Miss FFG! That shore was a scare!" Trinity wipes his mouth and reaches for the jug.
"Kin ah have mah Jug, you gonna let go of it?"
Strangely enough Scattered Thumbs felt very good while being a leech. In the first place all the pain in his bones and joints disappeared as if by magic. And there was also a sort of happiness in him. He felt no troubles, no doubts and no worries. The only thought in his mind was that he wanted to feed because he felt hungry.
What's for breakfast Mom?! He finally asks. He then looks around but none of the faces around him look familiar.
Her smile is sweet and kind, but her grip on the jug is unrelenting.
"I dunno, are you gonna keep calling me a squirrel?"
Then she hears the question from below: "What's for breakfast, Mom?" Startled, she releases the jug, dropping it on Trinity's chest. She turns, lifting her skirts to go back downstairs.
Sweeping into the kitchen, she offers a wary smile to Scattered Thumbs.
Scattered Thumbs smiles back to the lady that just entered the kitchen and asks. Where's my Mom?
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother looks at the man. Was this some type of ruse meant to distract her from his intent? But one cannot feign that look of innocence mixed with confusion. She reaches out to pat his arm.
"I don't know, son. But you aren't at her house. You're in Newbrassky. Would you like some breakfast? I can cook something up for you."
New Brass kee ? what's that?
Breakfast!!? :) Yes please, I'd like that. :D
"He gone madder than a March hair. Done lost his memory.", says Stoney. At first he thought it was the FFG responsible, but one look on her face said it was as much a mystery to her.
Trinity came down the stairs with his jug wearing a smile from ear to ear. Handing the jug to Stoney for a swig... :o FIRE AND BRIMSTONE :o It burned all the way down, tearing flesh as he swallowed. It hit his stomache like a frieght train.
"SMOOOOOOOTH!", gasps Stoney, as steam came out from under his collar. He was glad he was sitting down cause the room was already spinning.
Trinity sat in the chair next to him laughin and slapping his knee. "Sure do love seeing, greenhorns take their first sip from my still."
Having recovered, Stoney take another sip. Same kick only his senses have been numbed. He hands the jug back to Trinity. "I'm done for now. Gotta keep what's left of my wits about me."
Sitting happily on the counter, hands in his pockets, Scattered Thumbs suddenly finds out something. Look Y'all! I got guns! He shouts merrily. :D In less than the blink of an eye he pulls his pistols out shouting BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
All of a sudden Stoney Pete, Trinity and the FFG are covered with baby leeches. ::)
Scattered Thumbs looks at them then looks at his pistols laughs and shouts. COOL! ;D
Note: If Scattered Thumbs mind is somewhat disturbed(to say the least). His shooting skills apparently are intact. ;D
"This is a strange turn of events. :o"
Author's note: Great picture, ST.
Stoney shakes off the leeches. "It like I'm playing with my sisters kid's or somethin'."
author's note:
Can you tell me what movie I'm quoting?
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother feels the leech on the middle of her forehead and looks down to see two baby leeches on the front of her dress over her heart. Her face turns white and the plate in her hand falls to the floor, breaking.
I don't know who saw it first. Stoney, Slim and Trinity move as one to catch the FFG before she hits the floor. We carry her over to the rocking chair and without being asked Trinity fetches some water.
Slim takes care of her while Stoney cleans up the broken plate and while down there picks up the glass from the broken jar too.
"ST, you better behave. This ain't no PC crowd here. We won't spare the rod if you force us too."
It felt odd to Stoney. Treating a middle aged man like he was two. But, when in Rome...or should I say the Twilight Zone? ;)
Slim pats on the FFg's wrist. "Are you alright, ma'am?"
Scattered Thumbs looks down to the points of his boots. :-[ Apparently he's done something very wrong.
I'm sorry. He muttered. I won't do it again.
"It will be OK ST. Just never point a gun at someone unless your ready to kill them."
Scattered Thumbs face brightens with a smile.
Yes Sir! he says to the bearded old man in front of him. ::) ;D
After that he yawns loudily and says. I'm tired I think I'll sleep some. Almost instantly Scattered Thumbs falls asleep.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gives a wan smile.
"I'm all right. It isn't every day a person gets shot by leeches. The man has deadly aim and lightning reflexes, I think it might be best to disarm him until we figure out what to do."
Quote from: stoneypete on May 10, 2005, 09:27:27 AM
Stoney shakes off the leeches. "It like I'm playing with my sisters kid's or somethin'."
author's note:
Can you tell me what movie I'm quoting?
As Russ rides by headed for Nevada Territory, he hears a voice that sound like Bill Bob Thornton, but is recite'n words from Tombstone, spoke by Johnny Tyler. Naw, Can't be, and rides on.
Quote from: Russ T Chambers on May 10, 2005, 11:22:32 AM
Quote from: stoneypete on May 10, 2005, 09:27:27 AM
Stoney shakes off the leeches. "It like I'm playing with my sisters kid's or somethin'."
author's note:
Can you tell me what movie I'm quoting?
As Russ rides by headed for Nevada Territory, he hears a voice that sound like Bill Bob Thornton, but is recite'n words from Tombstone, spoke by Johnny Tyler. Naw, Can't be, and rides on.
And about a mile down the road, Russ' horse no longer smells funny. It smells like a horse, as it should.
:D
Quote from: Russ T Chambers on May 10, 2005, 11:22:32 AM
Quote from: stoneypete on May 10, 2005, 09:27:27 AM
Stoney shakes off the leeches. "It like I'm playing with my sisters kid's or somethin'."
author's note:
Can you tell me what movie I'm quoting?
As Russ rides by headed for Nevada Territory, he hears a voice that sound like Bill Bob Thornton, but is recite'n words from Tombstone, spoke by Johnny Tyler. Naw, Can't be, and rides on.
Author's Note: Your'e amazing Russ T, Stoney had me puzzled with that one, and now that you said it I remember it ::)
"That's good FFg. We should probably see what he's up ta now." They back into the kitchen and find ST sleeping. Slim takes the gunbelt off him. Slim and Stoney carry him up to a spare room and tuck him in bed.
Still a little shaken, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother goes outside for some air and to check for eggs. The chickens are out and about and when they see her, they all come running.
The sight sets her laughing and she is fine once more.
Quote from: Russ T Chambers on May 10, 2005, 11:22:32 AM
Quote from: stoneypete on May 10, 2005, 09:27:27 AM
Stoney shakes off the leeches. "It like I'm playing with my sisters kid's or somethin'."
author's note:
Can you tell me what movie I'm quoting?
As Russ rides by headed for Nevada Territory, he hears a voice that sound like Bill Bob Thornton, but is recite'n words from Tombstone, spoke by Johnny Tyler. Naw, Can't be, and rides on.
Author's note: You win. Don't know what, but you win. ;D See you all later on folks. Going to the torcher chaimber aka THE GYM. ::)
Quote from: stoneypete on May 10, 2005, 11:58:26 AM
Quote from: Russ T Chambers on May 10, 2005, 11:22:32 AM
Quote from: stoneypete on May 10, 2005, 09:27:27 AM
Stoney shakes off the leeches. "It like I'm playing with my sisters kid's or somethin'."
author's note:
Can you tell me what movie I'm quoting?
As Russ rides by headed for Nevada Territory, he hears a voice that sound like Bill Bob Thornton, but is recite'n words from Tombstone, spoke by Johnny Tyler. Naw, Can't be, and rides on.
Author's note: You win. Don't know what, but you win. ;D See you all later on folks. Going to the torcher chaimber aka THE GYM. ::)
Author's note: Have fun. ;D
Delmonico peeks into the thread and decides to spend another night in Alliance where it's quiet. ;D
Trinity picks up the jug from where Stoneypete had set it down. Taking a looooooong swig, he empties the jug. "Ah jus' don' know what that nawthunah's problem were. Why, it's as smoooth as a babies bee-hind!" ;D ;D
Trinity goes outside to check on the FFG and finds her at the chicken coop. As he nears her, she notices that he never has removed the leech from his forhead. It is still attached and happily slurping away.
(http://www-biol.paisley.ac.uk/biomedia/graphics/jpegs/Leech.jpg)
(http://completewasteoftime.blogs.com/weblog/leech.jpg)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother sees Trinity. The beginnings of her smile turn into a look of abject horror. The leech is forcefully yanked from his forehead and fed to the chickens. Before they can get to it, Franken-Bird gobbles it up.
"There. That's better."
Meanwhile, upstairs, the doc, who had been left to his own devices since he'd been standing there like a statue, took a look at Scattered Thumbs. His fingers were not inserted anywhere.
:o "Ouch!! Wadja do that fer!? Ah kinda liked havin' ol' Frenchie up there! That's what ah named him afore you fed him to Frankenbird!"
Frankenbird can be seen weaving all over the barnyard as if extremely intoxicated.
Delmonico and lil rooster have 24 oz Porterhouse steaks cooked Mark Twain style, baked tators with sour cream, butter and cheddar cheese. The rolls have benne seed on them real fancy like and for dessert they Sarsparilla ice cream sodas (root beer floats) and fine coffee from some estate named Kona on the Sandwich islands. ;D
The baby rooster chicks get all excited and point at Frankenbird.
"PeepPeepPeepPeepPeep!!"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother soothes Trinity's forehead.
"You maintain a delicate balance of blood and alcohol in your system. The leech was upsetting that balance."
Quote from: AnnieLee on May 10, 2005, 10:31:47 PM
The baby rooster chicks get all excited and point at Frankenbird.
"PeepPeepPeepPeepPeep!!"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother soothes Trinity's forehead.
"You maintain a delicate balance of blood and alcohol in your system. The leech was upsetting that balance."
Yep. He was sucking all the blood outta his Alcohol stream.
Scattered Thumbs wakes up in a bed ???
Automatically he checks his guns only to find out that his gunbelt with his Schofield and his Peacemaker is missing. :o
He then checks his vest and finds out his 1862 Pocket Navy and his 1862 Pocket Police are still there. 8)
He goes back to sleep with a peaceful smile on his face.
Author's note: Here's a pic I took of our chicks, I took last night. There're about 2 weeks old. 25 of them. No, Trinity, ya can't eat 'em yet! >:(
Slim walks toward the barn to see if the cow needs milking. He sees FFg and Trinity talking by the chicken coop. He calls to them, "Has the cow been milked, yet?"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother tosses the pail to Slim.
"Nope, not yet!"
"Thanks, I'll do it now."
She beams.
"He's such a good man..."
Her voice fades with distraction as she sees Frankenbird attempt to mount a hen sized rock in the yard.
"EW! Stop that!"
Slim cames back from the barn with the pail full of milk. He goes in the house and puts it in the icebox. Pours himself a cup of coffee that was warming in the stove.
She wanders back into the house to get her own cup of coffee, adding a dollup of milk.
"Slim, we may need to slaughter another hog soon. We're getting low on pork and Trinity has eaten us out of bacon."
Author's note: I think we the pigs to market at least a 100 pages ago but I may be mistaken.
"We might have ta do that one of these days. Wonder if the Stoney fellar knows how to butcher hawgs?" ;D
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on May 11, 2005, 01:28:56 PM
Author's note: I think we the pigs to market at least a 100 pages ago but I may be mistaken.
((Author's note: 100 pages ago?? Then we need more pigs! :D))
Delmonico boards the Eastbound CB&Q at Alliance. ;D ;D
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on May 11, 2005, 09:37:33 AM
Author's note: Here's a pic I took of our chicks, I took last night. There're about 2 weeks old. 25 of them. No, Trinity, ya can't eat 'em yet! >:(
"Dern! Ah was a-tyin' the napkin on already!" :(
Trinity tears into the kitchen, knocking down the temporary door put up to replace the one he had knocked down a few days ago:
"Did some body say bacon???"
"Trinity, you have to start using the doorknob. No, we aren't having bacon for dinner. Maybe we'll have some Mark Twain steaks and potatoes."
With a small sigh, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother moves around him to prop up the door.
Meanwhile, upstairs, the doc is still clucking over Scattered Thumbs. Clucking, not peeping.
:D
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on May 11, 2005, 09:37:33 AM
Author's note: Here's a pic I took of our chicks, I took last night. There're about 2 weeks old. 25 of them. No, Trinity, ya can't eat 'em yet! >:(
(Belated author's note:
They're so
CUTE!!!Touch those chicks and lose a hand, Trinity!
:D
AnnieLee)
Quote from: AnnieLee on May 11, 2005, 09:08:38 PM
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on May 11, 2005, 09:37:33 AM
Author's note: Here's a pic I took of our chicks, I took last night. There're about 2 weeks old. 25 of them. No, Trinity, ya can't eat 'em yet! >:(
(Belated author's note:
They're so CUTE!!!
Touch those chicks and lose a hand, Trinity!
:D
AnnieLee)
Trinity thinks to himself: MMMMMMMM, Tasty!!!!!! Trinity says: "Why, of kaws not ma'am! For whatever reason besides petting the sweet little critters from heaven would I touch them??" (http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/angel.gif)
Since Trinity didn't say that was an author's note, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother hears him.
"Why on earth would you want to pet a steak?"
(Author's note: < Gives him the hairy eyeball, but nods> )
<<SIGH!!!!!!!!!!!!>> ::) ::) ::)
Trinity don't have to say "Author's note" when he's thankin' to himse'f, so miss Annie cain't have hert him! Hmmph! :P
Kaws don' mean bovine critters. Of Kaws means "of course"
Delmonico has a nice late supper in the dining car: a wilted lettuce salad, ox-tail soup, broiled green sea turtle steaks, deviled eggs, parsnip fritters, steamed cally-flower, and a piece of lemon custard pie. The coffee tonight is a fine Cuban just like the seegar. ;)
The train pulls into Dunning to take on coal and water and to be greased. Delmonico checks and the new kid from the other thread has taken care of the garbage. ::) ::) ::)
Delmonico pays a fella to take a message to the ranch and reboards the train. ;D
<The message sent says: Went to Lincoln, be back it a few days, will tell you whats up then, expect a big surprise.>
( AnnieLee knows Trinity, so she'd give him the hairy eyeball no matter what he was thinking when it came to the chicks!)
"Well, we were talking about steaks and potatoes and all of a sudden you started talking about petting them. I know what of kaws means, have you been using leaded solder again?"
Passing through Litchfield, Delmonico knows there is only one Hazard in his way before he stops at Ravenna for the night. :o :o :o And a little bit later they pass through Hazard Newbrassky safely and in a bit will stop in Ravenna where Delmonico will spend the night. ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)
Tomorrow the train will pass through Cariro, but for some reason their ain't no pyr-a-mids. :P
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on May 11, 2005, 01:28:56 PM
Author's note: I think we the pigs to market at least a 100 pages ago but I may be mistaken.
"We might have ta do that one of these days. Wonder if the Stoney fellar knows how to butcher hawgs?" ;D
"Why yes. My mom's kin had a dairy farm in VT. I've been privy to dressing out a pig. I got a proper knife in my kit. I'm new here so's I don't know where or if there be pigs here. Point me in the right dirrection and put me to work."
Scattered Thumbs woke up feeling hungry, and puzzled. Where was he? Slowly, things came to mind. He remembered everything, even being a leech, and also feeling like a 6 year old. Somehow that experience made him feel better. He remembered the faces surrounding him, and their actions. They're good folk. He thought to himself. No way I'm going to hunt them down, couldn't do it now, anyway. In fact I don't feel like hunting down anybody. Maybe I need a new line of work. He went downstairs looking for the kitchen. Hoping some one would feed him.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother stands in the kitchen, dressed in her flannel kimono robe. Her hair hangs loosely down her back as she hums to herself, stirring milk into her coffee.
Hearing a sound she turns to see Scattered Thumbs. Her eyes flash with surprise, "Oh!" and she hurridly reaches back in a vain attempt to put up her hair.
"Um, good morning, how are you?"
I'm fine thanks. But mighty hungry. Is there anything to eat?
"Aye, we've got eggs, ham, sausage, and biscuits, but right now we're out of bacon. What would you like?" She reaches over and gets out the skillet, placing it on the fire. She doesn't turn her back on the man.
Hmm! if possible I'd like eggs, ham, sausage and biscuits, in no particular order. ::) Too bad about the bacon ;D And if there's any coffee left... ::)
"Yep, there's coffee." She pours him a mug, setting it on the counter before him. "This will take a few minutes, you can have it in here, or if you'd rather, the porch is nice this time of day."
The porch sounds good to me.
Scattered Thumbs steps out to the porch, a coffee mug in his left hand.
Then he sees Silver Creeck Slim, a pail of milk in each hand, coming from the barn.
Scattered Thumbs grins, and then says. Howdy! ;D
Quote from: stoneypete on May 12, 2005, 05:45:18 AM
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on May 11, 2005, 01:28:56 PM
Author's note: I think we the pigs to market at least a 100 pages ago but I may be mistaken.
"We might have ta do that one of these days. Wonder if the Stoney fellar knows how to butcher hawgs?" ;D
"Why yes. My mom's kin had a dairy farm in VT. I've been privy to dressing out a pig. I got a proper knife in my kit. I'm new here so's I don't know where or if there be pigs here. Point me in the right dirrection and put me to work."
"We don't have any right now, but if ya want ya can go round some up fer us."
As Daisy and Duke follow the man out on the porch, she concentrates on breakfast. Slim should be down soon, unless he was with that Stoney Pete fellow, or milking cows. Who knew where Delmonico had gone off to. As she cooks, a rider comes up and hands Delmonico's message to the man on the porch.
Scattered Thumbs speaks to the FFG inside the kitchen. There's a letter for you!
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on May 12, 2005, 11:01:15 AM
Scattered Thumbs steps out to the porch, a coffee mug in his left hand.
Then he sees Silver Creeck Slim, a pail of milk in each hand, coming from the barn.
Scattered Thumbs grins, and then says. Howdy! ;D
::)
Edit: Author's note: AARRRGHH! They left me hanging here. And I'm closing for the day.
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on May 12, 2005, 11:19:59 AM
Scattered Thumbs speaks to the FFG inside the kitchen. There's a letter for you!
She comes out on the porch with a plate in her hand. With a smile, she exchanges the food for the letter, handing him silverware from the pocket of her apron. "I'll take that when you are done."
Seein's how there's now pigs, Stoney heads for house. Glad to see ST had his wits back, he grabs a cup of joe from the stove and sits on the porch.
"What news in the letter ???"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother baps the top of Stoney's head with the letter.
"You sure are nosey for the new... " she takes a look at Scattered Thumbs, "one of the new guys. It's from Delmonico, he's in jail in Lincoln, something about a girl, a shotgun, and a wedding."
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother quickly folds the letter and stuffs it in a pocket before someone can snatch it away from her.
"Well, if he's bringing home a bride, I s'pose we'd best clean out that office of his and turn it into a suitable bedroom for a married couple. I reckon that coaloil computer should be moved out of there, too."
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on May 12, 2005, 11:25:33 AM
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on May 12, 2005, 11:01:15 AM
Scattered Thumbs steps out to the porch, a coffee mug in his left hand.
Then he sees Silver Creeck Slim, a pail of milk in each hand, coming from the barn.
Scattered Thumbs grins, and then says. Howdy! ;D
::)
Edit: Author's note: AARRRGHH! They left me hanging here. And I'm closing for the day.
Author's note: Sorry, I missed the post. :-[
Slim says, "Howdy" to the stranger and puts the milk in the icebox. He pours himself a cup of coffee and joins the gang on the porch.
"Del probably 'I just kissed a girl' agin and was put in jail fer shooting someone."
Author's note: What actor said this in what movie?
(Kevin Costner in Silverado. Do I get a prize? :D )
Quote from: AnnieLee on May 12, 2005, 12:35:07 PM
(Kevin Costner in Silverado. Do I get a prize? :D )
Author's note: Ya done good, Cuz. Here's yer prize: (http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/hug.gif)
As the Frumpy Fairy Godmother smiles at Slim, he can see that glint of *something* to her eyes.
"Nope, Delmonico's up and got himself married and he'll be here in a few days when he can get out of jail. I'll need you fellow's help in moving all his stuff out of that room and moving in a big bed and some pink lacey curtains, and bedspread."
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on May 12, 2005, 12:38:16 PM
Quote from: AnnieLee on May 12, 2005, 12:35:07 PM
(Kevin Costner in Silverado. Do I get a prize? :D )
Author's note: Ya done good, Cuz. Here's yer prize: (http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/hug.gif)
(Yay! That's the best kind of prize! (http://www.frontierspot.org/images/smiles/hug.gif) :D)
"Sure, I'll hep. Where we gonna move the stuff to?"
" I dunno, is there room in the barn?"
"The barn is plenty big enough." ;D
"To the barn!"
And so, Delmonico's room and office are cleared out and all his stuff is tossed willy nilly into a corner of the barn.
The next day, two big brown stages arrive, bringing the four poster bed and all the frilly chintz linens, including the pink bedspead and pink curtains with ruffles.
Duke, on seeing the changes, won't go into the room anymore. He stands at the doorway and whimpers, his tail tucked.
No one knows what happened to the stranded broadband barbed wire.
"That looks right smart for the newly-weds' room." ;D ;D ;D
"Do you think she'll like us? I hope she'll be happy here."
As she speaks, Frankenbird runs up to leap on Daisy's back. Daisy howls and starts running around in circles, trying to shake off the mutant rooster. Trinity's drinking buddy, Sheep wanders in and and nuzzles The Cat.
And Duke.... whimpers.
"She should think it is grand." ;D
Delmonico gets up that mornin' in the Ravenna Hotel and has a light breakfast of Smithfield ham, 1/2 dozen eggs over hard with Tabasco sprinled on the, biscuits and ham gravy and a cup of Earl Grey tea.
Boardin' the train he figgers the friend in Lincoln he telagraphed has sent the letter, heck it'll get there before he even gets to Lincoln. ;D ;D ;D
But he needs to cover up his real bussiness till he gets back, but the time in Alliance has convinced him it will work. The package from Omaha should be in Lincoln when he gets there. Yep it will all fall together and it will sure surprise them. ??? ::) ::) :o ;D :D
Noon time finds the train near York and a fine lunch of Hamberg steak and Saratoga chips is eaten along with some Brazillian coffee. Late afternoon the train pulls into Lincoln, the package is there and is sent by freight to Dunning. ??? ::)
Delmonico is picked up at the station by a mysterious person in a buggy and is last seen heading up O st. (Thats O st not 0 st, folks sometimes think we named our main street Zero street)
Trinity walks into the house and finds the FFG and Slim standing before Del's room. Upon seeing inside Trinity exclaims: :o :o "Sweet holy mother of Moses!! Whar's the wagon?? Whar are them ladies?? Ah hain' seem them in a long tahm an this looks lahk somethin' only they could cree-ate! Del's gonna be right upset. Y'all know how he don' take to con-sortin' with sportin' ladies!!!
Sheep!!!!! Leave The Cat alone!"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother looks to Trinity with a wide smile.
"You haven't heard! Delmonico got married and he's bringing his new wife here in a few days! Isn't that marvelous?"
In her glee, she hugs him.
Trinity is sceptical, but enjoys the free hug...
... ;D
... ;D
... ;D
... ;D
... ;D
... ;D
... ;D
... ;D
... ;D
... ;D
... ;D
... ;D
And so, they hug.
And hug.
And hug.
"Uh...
"Uh....
"Uh, Trinity?"
"Trinity?"
"Trinity, you can let go now...."
Delmonico and the head of the Newbrassky "Fish Commision" sit in the rest-er-rant and sip Panamanian coffee after having a couple of Large T-bones 2 inches thick and slow grilled with butter. Steamed carrots and parsnips mixed with butter, nice Grahmn rolls with butter and honey and a Rhubarb pie are the rest of the meal. ;)
They get up and shake hands and Delmonico says I hate to leave so early, but I have to meet with one of the State Senators in the morning. :o :o I'll Probally take the afternoon train home if I finish the rest of my bussiness in time or I'll take the one Saterday morning. ??? :D ;)
Later in his hotel room Delmonico wonders what foolish things they are doing back at the ranch when they recieve the false letter. ;D ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on May 11, 2005, 11:24:22 PM
<The message sent says: Went to Lincoln, be back it a few days, will tell you whats up then, expect a big surprise.>
But that's not what the Frumpy Fairy Godmother said it said. :P
litl' rooster peeks into the thread to see, what is going on...Delmonico sure has been on an eating benge lately, and the rest are sure going to be fooled when he returns.
....Grabbing a can of peaches and his gunbelt lit' rooster heads out to tend to his bisnezz.........
That night Scattered Thumbs announced his new intents. I won't be a bounty hunter anymore. But I'm not staying here either. I still don't feel comfortable living around so many people. I hope you take good care of Stoney Pete, he's a good fellow. I'll leave come first light. He shook everybody's hands and wished them well. :D
At dawn Scattered Thumbs gathered his stuff mounted his horse and left the ranch.
Some miles off the ranch Scattered Thumbs is riding light hearted, :) too light, he thinks. ???
Only then he realizes he left his gunbelt in the ranch. :o No problem, he reaches his saddlebags and pulls out another gunbelt. ::) It's a good excuse to pay them a visit one of these days ;D
Delmonico meets the State Senator for a breakfast of waffles, sausage and hash browns. The Senator and Delmonico talk and drink some fine coffee from Kenya. Delmonico realizes he ain't gonna get all his bizzness done in time to catch the afternoon train. ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother waved forlornly after Scattered Thumbs. He wasn't even out of sight, but she missed him already. She gave a sniffle and dabbed at her eyes with the corner of her apron.
"He's a nice fellar, that Scattered Thumbs. Hope he comes back fer a visit sometime."
" I hope so, too." She gives another sniffle.
"Is there anything else we can do to make Delmonico's bride feel at home?"
"Have her parents move in?" ;D
Stoney notices ST's gunblelt on hook by the door. He takes 'em down and carefully cleans all the slime from the leeches out. Oil's them real heavy then wraps each in a lightly oiled rag. Then he placed both guns and the belt in a wooden box he'd found in the barn. "He may want these someday.", Stoney said. Then he took the time to clean his own guns, oiled them down and placed them in oiled cloth bags he'd made for just such purpose. He put his guns in his saddle bags and hung his belt up on a hook in the barn.
Taking the last of his money he went to the house. "Which way to town. I'm gonna see a man about buying some pigs.
"Dunning is to the east."
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on May 13, 2005, 10:04:17 AM
"Dunning is to the east."
"That way." The Frumpy Fairy Godmother sticks her arm out in a random direction. Slim moves her stiff arm until it is pointed the correct way.
"That way."
"And I've got coins for you, if you need them."
Quote from: AnnieLee on May 13, 2005, 10:08:45 AM
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on May 13, 2005, 10:04:17 AM
"Dunning is to the east."
"That way." The Frumpy Fairy Godmother sticks her arm out in a random direction. Slim moves her stiff arm until it is pointed the correct way.
"That way."
"And I've got coins for you, if you need them."
"Thank anyway. I'll spring for the pigs. It's the least I can do. Untill you kick me out I'll calling this place home. Gotta pull my own weight."
Stoney walks off to to town. Several hours latter he returns with 5 pigs. 3 male, 2 female. "One of them males will be breakfast food soon. The other males we'll use for breeding. Once the sows are pregnant, I'm sure Trinity will help us eat the other males."
Stoney herds the pigs into the old coral, retrieves his knife from his kit and starts sharpening it. Whilst pointing at the 3 males you could hear, "eenie meenie minee mo..."
"Ya want me ta rope it fer ya?" ;D
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on May 13, 2005, 12:02:00 PM
"Ya want me ta rope it fer ya?" ;D
"Sure. The big one with the brown spots. That will keep us in pork for a month if the FFG limits trinity."
Authors note: I'm outta here. See you Monday.
Slim twirls the rope over his head and gives it a fling. The rope lands over the brown spotted pigs head and Slim gives the rope a hank. The pig, not liking the rope around its neck, squeals and starts running causing the rope to pull Slim off balance and him fall in a mud puddle. :o
Author's note: Have a great weekend, Stoney.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother has the good grace not to laugh at Slim.
(Have a good weekend, Pete, glad you joined us in here! :-* )
Delmonico and the Chance-ler of the University of Newbrassky meet fer a noon meal. even though it's a 100 years to early fer the chicken festable, they have a roasted capon sent down from Wayne Newbrassky. They also have new beets, steamed and buttered, a-sparrow-grass creamed, mashed taters and gravy and some nice rye bread. ;D
For dessert they have a piece of gooseberry pie. Ater eatin' they shake hands and leave their seperate ways. Delmonico hires a buggy and is seen headin' north on 17th street. ??? ???
Delmonico reaches the State Fair grounds and turns right on Holdrege street and is soon out in the country. After a couple of miles he gets to the University of Nebrassky Ag College and has a talk with a professer, the profeser gives Delmonico a bag which he puts in the Buggy.
Delmonico then heads back toward down-town.
Walking through the barn, Trinity sees the old box sitting below the peg where the barn refuse is normally hung. "Dern! Ah done fergot ta git rid of that there box like the FFG tolt me to and now she done had to push it out under the rufuse hook! Ah better take care of this afore she gits mad at me!" Staring at the saddle bags and belt on the refuse hook with curiosity, he thinks about looking inside the bags until he finally decides that there must be something wrong with them. After all, no one would have hung them there if they didn't want to be rid of them.
With an "Oh waill", he throws the bags over his shoulder and takes up the box. "This shore is heavy fer an empty box... Hm! oh waill". He carries the burden to the edge of the river at the former location of the excrement tube and loads everything including himself into the small boat at the edge and shoves off. Once he has reached Del's secret fishing hole, he shoves everything into the water and watches it sink. A few bubbles rise to the surface, then nothing more.
Quickly, Trinity rows back to shore because he thinks he can smell bacon!! ;D
Delmonico goes down to the CB%Q freight office and unloads the buggy and puts this load on the late train, he has decided to stay in Lincoln till in the morning.
Delmonico then has a late supper of steamed lobster and a 18 oz Club Steak. He also has Coleslaw, steamed carrots, brussel spouts and a big hunk of cheese cake. ;D The coffee tonight is from the Island of Java. ;D Afterwards he goes out wanderin' around town and stops in a drugstore and sits at the fountian and has a glass of lemon soda. ;D
He then goes down to the post office and hangs around the famous salt water fountian in the courtyard. ;D Planning on catchin' a morning train, he heads back to his hotel. ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother relaxes and knits.
(Only because her author doesn't feel like typing more for her at the moment, but she doesn't know that, she is enjoying the quiet time. :D)
Not being as polite as FFg, I laugh out loud at Slim(now he will have to clean the rope)and offers the use of his rimfired pistol to take care of the pig on a string. * True story, last fall we were rounded up cattle for shipping, had a pot belly cross pig lead the herd in. Apparently had escaped it owners ended up on one of our leases. One of the guys tried to rope it but it had no neck and kept slipping the loop.. A few days later it dissappeared.*
In the morning, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother makes the coffee and does a walk through of the house, making sure all is in order for Delmonico and his bride. She airs out the newlywed's room and adds a touch of eucalyptis for scent.
With a smile, she returns to the kitchen to make breakfast.
Delmonico hires a horse drawn cab and it takes him to the train station. When the morning train to the Black Hills comes in he boards it. ;D After a hour or so of traveling he goes to the dining car and has sausage, eggs over easy and pancakes with blackberry syrup for breakfast. ;D The coffee is a fine Mexican. ;D As the train rolls along the praire he looks out the window.
About sundown the folks from the CB&Q get some hand cars down to the scene of the derailment. :o :o Delmonico has been sitting along side the tracks since late morning, no one has been hurt but the dining car was destroyed. ::) ::) ::) The hand car crews bring the tired passengers into the station, Delmonico looks at the sign on the depot, "Hazard Newbrassky" ::) ::) ::)
There is a cafe near the depot and Delmonico is able to get chicken fried steak, fried tators and a piece of dried apple pie and some Arbuckles. ::) ::) ::) Not bad, but not as fine as the Pullman Dining Car. ;D ;D
Delmonico thinks he is glad he sent his packages ahead instead of having them in the train wreck because some of them are fragile. :o :o
Late in the evening, the big brown wagon arrives, unexpectedly. Figuring the packages are wedding presents, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother has the driver stow them in the parlor. He lingers a while and she feeds him...
..
..
...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
food and coffee.
As the sun starts to sink low, she bids him a fond farewell, then milks the cow and gathers the eggs.
Later in the evening they get the tracks cleared and the CB&Q gets another train to Hazzard. ;D ;D
Delmonico decides to go ahead and take it into Dunning even though it will be late before they get ino town. ;D
Delmonico changes his mind and buys a ticket from the conductor to take him on to Mullen. ??? He goes to the dining car and has a piece of coconut creme pie and a couple of cups of Sumatran coffee as the train follows the Middle Loup river as it turns to the west. ::) :o ;D :D ;)
Delmonico drinks the last of his coffee as the train nears Mullen. ;D Gettin' off the train he suddenly realizes he's drank so much coffee the last few days that he ain't sleepy.
He grabs his warbag, his bedroll and his 38-55 Ballard Rifle. He goes to the livery stable where there is still a light on. He rents a mule and saddle and makes arrangements to ship the mule back from Dunning by rail. He also borrows a coffee pot and trades a handful of seegars for a pound of Arbuckle's.
He heads south on the mule with plans on being on the forks of the Dismal by early morning. ??? ::) ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother sweeps off the porch, much to the consternation of the managerie sleeping there. Then she heads upstairs and has a lovely, hot bath with scented water, and washes her hair. Since it is a warm night, she wraps up in a cotton kimono robe for her porch knitting.
Morning brings the aromatic scent of fresh coffee. The Frumpy Fairy Godmother milks the cow and gathers the eggs. With a wink to Duke, who still wanders past Delmonico's room and whimpers, she dices up some ham and grates some cheese while the skillet is warming. Cracking the eggs, she whips them with a fork, adding just a smidge of milk. She pours the mixture into the skillet, then watches as it turns opaque over the heat. Then she tosses in the ham and cheese and carefully folds over one half of the eggs onto the mound. A bit later, she flips over the semicircle until the eggs are a light golden brown and the cheese inside is melted.
Since Slim will be bringing more cheese on his return from Wissyconsyn, she makes omlettes for the dogs, The Cat, and all the humans.... three for Trinity.
Delmonico arrives at the forks of the Dismal about dawn, he scrounges up enough wood to make a small fire and heat a pot of coffee. ;D
When the coffee is gone he rides a few miles up the North Fork of the Dismal lookin' at the river in all the bends. He then heads south accross the hills till he comes to the South Fork and checks all the bends as he rides downstream. ??? ??? ::) ::) ::) ;D ;)
Coming back to the fork he has gathered enough wood on his ride for another pot of coffee. When it is done he heads east following the main channel and lookin' in all the bends. ??? ::) ;)
Trinity seats himself down to the table and ties on a napkin. Three ham and cheese omelettes, his favorites. Mmmmm! Within moments the omelettes are gone and with his mouth full of the last bites he asks "Got any bacon, Ma'am??"
Trinity glances down at the dogs' omelettes...
Feeling hungry eyes on them, the dogs wolf down their omelettes. The Cat looks at Trinity, then hawks up a hairball on his(her?) omelette, then looks at him again with an "I dare you" expression.
"No, we're out of bacon Trinity, sorry. Would you like another omelette?" The Frumpy Fairy Godmother does her best not to stare at The Cat.
Late in the afternoon Delmonico finds a lone cedar tree and gets off his rented mule. He gathers enough dry twigs off the lower branches to make a pot of coffee. ::) ::) ;D ;D
When he finishes his coffee he heads on down the Dismal River, still lookin' in all the bends of the river. ::) ??? ??? :D ;)
Breaking his stare showdown with The Cat, which he was losing, Trinity turns his attention to the FFG. "Oh! Well thankee Miss FFG, that would shore be nice. Do Ah need ta see 'bout ridin' to town tomorry fer some bacon or is that Stoney Pete feller gonna brang us some peegs?"
"He brought back the pigs, Trinity. I think he has one butchered, but," she paused and twists her face, trying to remember, "... I don't know!"
"So, does that mean we got some bacon after all?? I don't 'member either!
"Well.. " again she pauses, "I think bacon has to be cured, so it may be a while before we have some." All of a sudden she brightens. "Maybe Slim will bring some when he comes back!"
"Ah gots me a meathod of curin' the meat, an' it's much shorter! Just show me whar it is."
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother smacks Trinity with a wet dish cloth.
"You are NOT going to cure that bacon with your squeezin's!"
Trinity touches the touches the sore spot where the wet towel hit him: :-[
"grumble grumble grumble"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother smiles and kisses him on the cheek. "It could have been worse, I could have used a skillet."
As it gets dark Delmonico is still quite aways away from the ranch. He decides to gather some wood and camp for the night. He gets some canned apricots and a can of Van DeCamps pork and beans out and some dried beef and a loaf of bread. As the pot of coffee heats up he eats his cold supper and wishes there was a dining car out here. ;D
When finishes drinking the coffee, he gets out his bed roll and dozes off for a few hours. ;D
After 3 days of Slim being drug around the coral, (I guess nobody helped him) Stoney finishes sharpening his knife and helps Slim catch the pig. In short order it was slaughtered and cuts were made. A ramshakle smoke house was built and the meat was set up to cure.
Stoney returns to the barn to find his Saddle bags missing and so was the box with ST's guns. That's when he remembered Trinity headed to the river with his arms loaded up. Taking a deep breath Stoney heads to the house.
"Trinity, what did you do with my saddle bags and the box with ST's guns in it? I sure hope that isn't what you dropped in the river. If it is your gonna get your bath early this year."
Stoney sits and eats whilst awaiting the answer he knew was comming. Since all his stuff was in the bags and water tight he knew there was no rush. ST's guns might not fair as well, but since they were oiled before being put away, they'd be fine with a little TLC.
Trininty sat in his chair making sure he kept his mouth full. That way he could delay the answer for as long as possible.
Delmonico rides into the ranch right after noon. He sees Stoney Pete starin' a Trinity who has his mouth full. He figgers it is the ol' "See/Sea Food routine since Trinity is always tryin' to pull that one.
Delmonico decides to leave before he pulls the ol' pull the "finger routine." ;D ;D ;D
Delmonico leaves a note on the FFg's rocking chair, "I'm in the area, but went back to Dunning, I'm tired of this worthless beast and gonna put here on the train and ship her back to the stable she came from." ::) :o :o ;D ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother comes downstairs to see a note left in her chair. With a lifted brow, she picks up the note, reads it and starts yelling.
"HOLY COW! Delmonico is taking his bride back! He called her a 'worthless beast'!!! My lands, this has to be one of the shortest marriages ever!" She takes another look at the note. "Stable... did Delmonico get his wife from a house of ill repute?"
Quote from: AnnieLee on May 16, 2005, 12:37:25 PM
"Stable... did Delmonico get his wife from a house of ill repute?"
Stoney hears the question and breaks his stare from Trinity long enough to say, "Next thing, he'll claim he never even had a bride. That it was all in you imagination."
Goes back to waiting for Trinity to come up for air long enough for him to answer.
She's still fuming.
"What kind of a man calls his new bride a worthless beast? The gall of that man!"
She storms out to the barn, picks out the cowhide box from under the stack of stuff from Delmonico's office, takes it down to the Dismal and chucks it in.
"Serves him right, finding a bride by using that twisted barbed wire contraption!"
When he reaches Dunning, Delmonico ships the mule to the Mullen Livery Stable. ;D He then goes down to the tellygraph office and sends a long tellygram to the Nebraska Fish Commision. ;) When he is done with that he goes to the Cafe and has a 24oz Sirloin steak, along with split pea and ham soup and a piece of dried apple and raisin pie. ;D Oh and some Arbuckles coffee. ;D
He then heads down to the Dunning Livery Stable and gets his mule and adds a package to the saddle bags that was waitin' for him at the freight office. ;D ;D there is also a coop of pigeons (racing pigeons) waiting for him, this he ties on behind the saddle. ;D
When he is loaded down he heads West following the Dismal River. ;D ;)
Slim comes in the house caked in mud from being dragged by the pig for three days. He goes to his room for clean clothes and goes to take a bath. After his bath, he goes to the kitchen to eat, since he hasn't eaten in three days. ::)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gives the clean Slim a hug, though it's obvious she's still annoyed.
"I'm cooking again tonight. That derned Delmonico is returning his bride. I bet he asks for his money back, too! We're having green beans with bacon, au gratin potatoes topped with crumbled bacon, some fresh leaf greens drizzled with bacon grease, and pan fried chicken. We have Stoney Pete to thank for the bacon."
"Why would Del return his bride? That just ain't right!" >:(
"Food sounds go though. Thanks." ;D
Quote from: stoneypete on May 16, 2005, 06:03:04 AM
After 3 days of Slim being drug around the coral, (I guess nobody helped him) Stoney finishes sharpening his knife and helps Slim catch the pig. In short order it was slaughtered and cuts were made. A ramshakle smoke house was built and the meat was set up to cure.
Stoney returns to the barn to find his Saddle bags missing and so was the box with ST's guns. That's when he remembered Trinity headed to the river with his arms loaded up. Taking a deep breath Stoney heads to the house.
"Trinity, what did you do with my saddle bags and the box with ST's guns in it? I sure hope that isn't what you dropped in the river. If it is your gonna get your bath early this year."
Stoney sits and eats whilst awaiting the answer he knew was comming. Since all his stuff was in the bags and water tight he knew there was no rush. ST's guns might not fair as well, but since they were oiled before being put away, they'd be fine with a little TLC.
Trininty sat in his chair making sure he kept his mouth full. That way he could delay the answer for as long as possible.
Trinity looks up, wide eyed and innocent at Stoney Pete and with his mouth still full: "Myoo mmmkng mm mee?"
Quote from: AnnieLee on May 16, 2005, 05:07:19 PM
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gives the clean Slim a hug, though it's obvious she's still annoyed.
"I'm cooking again tonight. That derned Delmonico is returning his bride. I bet he asks for his money back, too! We're having green beans with bacon, au gratin potatoes topped with crumbled bacon, some fresh leaf greens drizzled with bacon grease, and pan fried chicken. We have Stoney Pete to thank for the bacon."
On hearing the menu, Trinity swallows hard and shouts "Bacon???!!! Wooooohooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Quote from: Trinity on May 16, 2005, 05:51:51 PM
Quote from: stoneypete on May 16, 2005, 06:03:04 AM
After 3 days of Slim being drug around the coral, (I guess nobody helped him) Stoney finishes sharpening his knife and helps Slim catch the pig. In short order it was slaughtered and cuts were made. A ramshakle smoke house was built and the meat was set up to cure.
Stoney returns to the barn to find his Saddle bags missing and so was the box with ST's guns. That's when he remembered Trinity headed to the river with his arms loaded up. Taking a deep breath Stoney heads to the house.
"Trinity, what did you do with my saddle bags and the box with ST's guns in it? I sure hope that isn't what you dropped in the river. If it is your gonna get your bath early this year."
Stoney sits and eats whilst awaiting the answer he knew was comming. Since all his stuff was in the bags and water tight he knew there was no rush. ST's guns might not fair as well, but since they were oiled before being put away, they'd be fine with a little TLC.
Trininty sat in his chair making sure he kept his mouth full. That way he could delay the answer for as long as possible.
Trinity looks up, wide eyed and innocent at Stoney Pete and with his mouth still full: "Myoo mmmkng mm mee?"
((Author's translation: "You talking to me?" :D AnnieLee ))
lil rooster sends a teleygraph from Alliance to the capital in Washington, please send the surgeon general and his army to Nebrassky at once. Them people there are eating way to much collesterall.
Dr. Leonard McCoy receives a telegram while in his office in Washington. He packs up and heads west.
(( :P ))
Quote from: AnnieLee on May 16, 2005, 08:55:27 PM
Dr. Leonard McCoy receives a telegram while in his office in Washington. He packs up and heads west.
(( :P ))
Author's question: Is he wearing a RED SHIRT ??? :o ;D
Quote from: AnnieLee on May 16, 2005, 08:00:12 PM
Quote from: Trinity on May 16, 2005, 05:51:51 PM
Trinity looks up, wide eyed and innocent at Stoney Pete and with his mouth still full: "Myoo mmmkng mm mee?"
((Author's translation: "You talking to me?" :D AnnieLee ))
Realizing he'll get nowhere with Trinity, Pete heads down to the River. There he see's his saddle bags washed up on the bank. Everyting inside was still dry. He puts his knife back in the kit then hangs the bags over the rafters on the porch.
"Trinity, my bags are alright. Since they're water proof they floated to the top and washed ashore. That box you threw in the river has ST's guns in it. You can go get it or explain to him if he comes back for them, I'll leave that to you." Pete pauses for effect. "Now you know what my gear looks like. Touch it again and you'll be eating bacon through a straw."
Stoney, glances at the FFG, unsure if she let him follow through on his promise. The FFG gives Trinity "the look". Stoney hopes she got through. He finishes his breakfast.
Turning to the FFG, "You gonna leave Del's room as is or we gonna have to put his stuff back?"
"Oh, it stays as it is. He's the one who went out and bought a bride he doesn't like, he has to live with it!"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother grumbles under her breath as she washes the dishes. "Derned incorrigible man, gets all grumpy, gets a woman, could have gotten one locally, but no, he has to go out and buy one, then gets thrown in jail over her, then decides he doesn't want her, derned fickle man, should be happy, should be glad any woman would have him, but noooo, not Delmonico, he has to be picky, so serves him right to live and sleep in a room decorated for newlyweds, and we went through all that trouble, trying to make her feel good and welcome here, and he has to send her back... "
Quote from: stoneypete on May 17, 2005, 05:16:05 AM
Quote from: AnnieLee on May 16, 2005, 08:55:27 PM
Dr. Leonard McCoy receives a telegram while in his office in Washington. He packs up and heads west.
(( :P ))
Author's question: Is he wearing a RED SHIRT ??? :o ;D
((Author's response:
!!!!ELLE KABONG!!!!Redshirtdernedsmartaleckdeservesagoodthwacking.....
:D))
Quote from: AnnieLee on May 17, 2005, 06:45:00 AM
Quote from: stoneypete on May 17, 2005, 05:16:05 AM
Quote from: AnnieLee on May 16, 2005, 08:55:27 PM
Dr. Leonard McCoy receives a telegram while in his office in Washington. He packs up and heads west.
(( :P ))
Author's question: Is he wearing a RED SHIRT ??? :o ;D
((Author's response:
!!!!ELLE KABONG!!!!
Redshirtdernedsmartaleckdeservesagoodthwacking.....
:D))
The author has been Sacked and replaced by a yack. ;D
Quote from: stoneypete on May 17, 2005, 08:16:37 AM
Quote from: AnnieLee on May 17, 2005, 06:45:00 AM
((Author's response:
!!!!ELLE KABONG!!!!
Redshirtdernedsmartaleckdeservesagoodthwacking.....
:D))
The author has been Sacked and replaced by a yack. ;D
Authors responce. I'm better now. On with the story...
Delmonico camped east of the ranch along the river last night. He circles the ranch and hides his mule behing the hill. ;D He sneaks up to the ridge and checks it out a bit with his field glasses. ;D
He wants to check it out before he rides in, no tellin' what them loonies have done while he was in Lincoln gettin' some things done. ;D ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother is out back, beating the snot out of a rug.
"Derned grouchy cosie, Duke got a local *thwack*gerl, he's happy, but no, not good enough for Delmonico,*thwack* him and his coal oil computer has to traipse off and leave the cooking*thwack* to me and god knows where Gopher Grease ran off to*thwack*, and that dang mutant roost*thwack*er tried to make love to a turtle*thwack* this morning and Stoney Pete almost caught me in the bathroom*thwack*, and Trinity really needs a bath*thwack* again, and DERN that Delmonico, *thwack*when is he coming home and where IS SLIM?"
Slim comes down from his room, goes in the kitchen, and eats breakfast. Slim hears some a commotion out back, so he goes out to see what all the noise is about. He rounds the corner of the house. There is the FFg in a cloud of dust muttering and beating a rug. "What are ya mutterin' about?"
Hearing the call, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother lowers the beater and wipes some sweaty dust from her face.
"Oh.... ~nothing~"
And her smile is genuine.
"Ya sure are gettin' that rug clean." ;D
Delmonico keeps watchin', hidin', from a safe distance. ;D ;D He knows that somethin' strange is up by the way the FFg is acting. And there is that horse that the one bounty hunter rode in the barn. Where is the other one? ;D
"I just saw a flash of light over yonder. Wonder what that was from?" ???
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on May 17, 2005, 11:12:03 AM
"I just saw a flash of light over yonder. Wonder what that was from?" ???
Stoney steps out on the porch rubbing his still sore head.
"That be field glasses. We're being watched."
Stoney removes his guns from the now dry saddle bags, loads them, puts them in their holsters straps on his rig.
Stoney takes his own field glasses from his bags. Looks in the dirrection of the flash. Sure nuff. There, lookin' back at him with his own glasses, was the man he'd met all them days ago and who's "beard" turned out to be a bandana. The one that tried to send him on the goose chase. The one the FFG been cusin bout fer a few days.
"Slim, take a look see. Is that who I think it is?"
Slim takes the glasses from Stoney and looks in them in the direction of the flash. "What is Del doin' out there spyin' on us? He keeps gettin' stranger all the time." ;D ;D
<Authors note: Delmonico is the only one here that is not strange!>
With the bounty hunter lookin' at the fake Delmonico on the hill, Delmonico comes down the other hill and covers him with his 38-55 Ballard.
"Don't move a muscle and explain to me what is going on here, someone."
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother peers at Delmonico from the other side of the rug.
"It's about time you got back! And why did you make that poor gerl go home?" She talks as she walks around the rug, "you've got unopened wedding presents in the parlor and I am NOT going to pay for the shipping to return them, that's something you have to do, and write a letter of apology to her father, and you should be on your knees in gratitude that he didn't shoot you for the way you treated that lass!"
Still coverin' the bounty hunter with his Ballard, Delmonico is thinkin' to himself that he did not stay on the hill long enough. ;D
"Here, give this to Trinity and have him use it afore ya all end up in the insane assylum!" Delmonico throws down a large roll of lead free solder. He then decides that the bounty hunter must be a hoplessly insane as the rest of the crew, so Delmonico takes his mule to the barn. :D :D :D ;)
((Author's note: Did anyone else notice that the Frumpy Fairy Godmother forgot that she was the one who made up the whole bit about the bride? She seems pretty derned angry and serious about this. Perhaps somewhere in the back of her mind, she is somehow aware that she isn't real and she is also made up? Hmmm. :D ))
"Are there two Delmonicos, now?" ???
Delmonico goes to the hill and gets his apron and hat off the soap weed. (yucca) He then heads with his bag to his bed room, looks in and hollors "What the .......................have you crazy people done?" :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o
Having artfully dodged the rolling ball of solder, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother reenters the house.
"That's the room for you and your coaloil computer ordered bride. Since you were married, you needed a room to suit her. Not our fault you are so picky you sent her back. I hope you didn't get a refund!"
Duke follows Delmonico into the room. He looks around and whimpers, but he is still happy to see the cosie and the tip of his tail flips back and forth in a tiny wag.
Delmonico realizes it's too late for the lead-fee solder, Trinity has posioned the FFg, just like he did the kid over in the "Made up Tale" thread. ;D ;D ;D ;D
"I have no idea what yer murrmerin' about. Duke let's hitch up the buggy and go to Dunning, I am waitin' on a telly-gram from the Nebraska Fish Commision. Maybe I can keep you from going crazy like all of them here. I got the septic tank put in for a good reason, I go to Lincoln on bussiness about that, and some other importand things and I see that things go insane while I'm gone."
"Duke do you have any idea what she is talkin' about, mail order brides?" ??? ??? ??? "And do you have any idea why she foo fooed my room. At least most of the packages I freighted ahead are here, Duke maybe I should take her present back and exchange it." ;D ;D
With that Delmonico and the yaller dog hitch up the mules to the buggy and head back east along the Dismal River. Along the way, Delmonico shoots a Wood duck and him and Duke roast it for supper after Duke gets it out of the river. Duke also notices that Delmonico carfully skinned the duck and salted down the hide before packin' it in a paper bag and carefully placin' in his saddle bags. ??? ??? :D
"Sure glad there ain't two Delmonicos." ;D
"Me too."
She lowers her voice to a whisper. "Psst. Slim. Think we should change his room back while he's gone and pretend like nothing happened?"
Quote from: AnnieLee on May 17, 2005, 03:16:30 PM
She lowers her voice to a whisper. "Psst. Slim. Think we should change his room back while he's gone and pretend like nothing happened?"
Naaaaaaah!
Quote from: stoneypete on May 17, 2005, 05:25:33 AM
Quote from: AnnieLee on May 16, 2005, 08:00:12 PM
Quote from: Trinity on May 16, 2005, 05:51:51 PM
Trinity looks up, wide eyed and innocent at Stoney Pete and with his mouth still full: "Myoo mmmkng mm mee?"
((Author's translation: "You talking to me?" :D AnnieLee ))
Realizing he'll get nowhere with Trinity, Pete heads down to the River. There he see's his saddle bags washed up on the bank. Everyting inside was still dry. He puts his knife back in the kit then hangs the bags over the rafters on the porch.
"Trinity, my bags are alright. Since they're water proof they floated to the top and washed ashore. That box you threw in the river has ST's guns in it. You can go get it or explain to him if he comes back for them, I'll leave that to you." Pete pauses for effect. "Now you know what my gear looks like. Touch it again and you'll be eating bacon through a straw."
Stoney, glances at the FFG, unsure if she let him follow through on his promise. The FFG gives Trinity "the look". Stoney hopes she got through. He finishes his breakfast.
Turning to the FFG, "You gonna leave Del's room as is or we gonna have to put his stuff back?"
"Ah'm sorry fer mah mis-take, but you have to understand, you done lef' ever'thing where we normally put the garbage. Ahm glad you gotchor bags back, but just how in tarnation did they float up out of Delmonico's deeeeeep fishin hole and wash ashore. You mus' be usin' real light loads!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D Less'n ST uses the same loads, Ah don' b'lieve that we're gonna see that box ever agin!
Eatin' bacon through a straw? That shore would be much easier!" ;D ;D
Tired from his busy day of doing nothing, Trinity steps out on the porch and climbs into the hammock. A loud "THOCK" is heard as he removes the cork from a fresh jug. After several deep gulps, Trinity can be heard playing music on his jug. First only soprano sounds are heard but are later replaced by a richer, deeper bass.
Delmonico and duke make it into Dunning. The expected telly-gram from the Newbrassky Fish Commission is there. Delmonico opens it and reads it and grins. ;D ??? :D ;)
Down at the freight office the rest of his goods are there. He will pick those up on his way out of town in the morning. ;D ;D Duke and Delmonico get a hotel room and go to the cafe to eat. Beef pot pie is one the menu along with biscuits and sand plum preserves to go on top. ;D ;D For desert is dried apricot pie. ;D ;)
When the meal is finished they sit on the porch of the Hotel and Duke looks at him with those sad eyes and explains what has been goin' on while Delmonico was gone. ::) ::) :o :o ;D ;D
As she sits in her rocker and crochets, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother casts an occasional glance to Trinity as his jug changes pitch.
"You do still have to fix the door, you know."
Delmonico noticed the door was still broke at the ranch. ;D He writes a note to get a new door before leavin' town. ::) Duke and him head uptairs and Delmonico tells Duke good night as he lets him into his room. Shuttin' the door to Dukes room, he goes to his own room. ;D
<Authors Note: You never want to sleep in the same room as a Yaller dog who has eatin' dried apricot pie. :P :P :P :P :P :o :o :o :o :o :o ;D>
Claire and Daisy come wandering out on the porch. They are each wearing a pink frilly tutu around their hips with a smaller one around their necks. They sniff around a bit, then sit on the edge of the porch, looking in the direction Duke went, and whimper.
Author's question: Does Delmonico do anything but eat? I ain't been here long, but he's consumed more in these few days than some small countries do in a month. ;) ;D ;)
Having recoverd from being at the business end of a 38-55, Stoney grabs Trinity's jug of squeezin's and take belt. Somehow it seemed smoother this time. He joins Trinity in two part harmony. The dogs joined in completing their barbershop quartet.
Slim and the FFG went inside and closed the door, as best they could, in an attempt to drown out the noise.
Slim goes in the kitchen and wrestles up some breakfast. "Breakfast is ready! Come and get it 'fore I throw it out!" ;D
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on May 18, 2005, 08:58:27 AM
Slim goes in the kitchen and wrestles up some breakfast. "Breakfast is ready! Come and get it 'fore I throw it out!" ;D
Hearing the call and smelling the bacon, Trinity and Stoney were seated before Slim even finished speakin'
Delmonico gets Duke and they get the buggy and the packages and head west along the Dismal River. ;D ;D They skip breakfast, ulike the bounty hunter and the rest of the folks back at the ranch. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :D :D :D :D :D :D ;) ;)
Havin' skipped their dinner, unlike that bounty hunter that don't even know how to make bacon. ;D Delmonico and Duke make it to the ranch and find no one around.
Quote from: Delmonico on May 18, 2005, 04:30:57 PM
Havin' skipped their dinner, unlike that bounty hunter that don't even know how to make bacon. ;D Delmonico and Duke make it to the ranch and find no one around.
Until Daisy and Claire come bounding around the corner, practically tackling Duke in their glee to see him. The Frumpy Fairy Godmother isn't far behind, coming in from hanging up the laundry to dry.
I'm back for a few days, I think. ;D Now would you tell me what the heck has been going on here or you won't get you present I brought from Lincoln. ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother's eyes light up at the mention of a present. After all, she is human. ((Author's note: Is she? I'm not so sure about that... ))
"Stoney Pete gave up the life of a bounty hunter and decided to stay on. Scattered Thumbs or whatever his name was, also gave it up but he rode off. He said he might come back. Pete went and got us new pigs. Slim is Slim, ever helpful, and has another baby on the way. Trinity... well." On that one, she shrugs. "I think he's corrupting Pete."
"Duke's been a good dog and his gerls missed him. That's about it! Oh, yes, I'm tired of cooking."
What about my bedroom and office, is there a reason it's all foo foo? :o :o
She ponders that a moment. If she tells the truth, she probably won't get the present. But if she lies, that would be wrong.
She ponders it some more, making faces, then finally speaks.
"That was done to mess with you."
Her smile is award winning and proud.
"Well I don't know, I'll have to put flaming splinters under Slim's toenails in the mornin' and get the truth. :o But I went to the theatre while in Lincoln and next door was a cool little shop that sold stage props and stuff like that. ::) ::) ::)"
"Well here it it a rubber skillet!!!!!!!" :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
"Wait till you see what I got Slim, it's even better than a bag of magic beans."
"Wait till you see the other cool stuff I got! Did you notice the pigeon coop and the piebald box? I went wireless on the computor!"
She gleefully opens the box and pulls out the skillet.
"That's cute! Of course, I have to test it out."
So, she hits Delmonico in the head with it. Instead of a bonk or a bong, the sound it makes is *boing!*
"That's funny!" Laughing, she repeats it, several times.
*boing!**boing!**boing!**boing!*
I got the lead free solder for Trinity, got something for Gopher Grease if he shows back up. Got something for Russ T. got dog biscuits for the dogs (I checked PC*) I didn't know Stoney Pete and Scattered Thumbs were gonna be good guys so I didn't get them nothing. ;D ;D
I got Slim a bag of corn seed adapted for the climate from the Ag College. I got the doctor a big jar of Vasoline (also PC*) Oh and when I talked to the Chancelor at the Uni-verse-ity he wants Jem from the "Made Up Tale" Thread to come see him, sees all the colleges are playin' some new-fangled ball game with a funny shaped ball. He wants him to join the University of Newbrassky football team and be a "Bugeater**." ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
*Perriod Correct
**Tain't bugeaters no more ::)
Slim comes outta the house to feed and water the stock, check fer eggs, and milk the cow. "Well, Del, yer back. Ya stayin' long this time?" ;D
Delmonico ropes and ties Slim and removes his boots. (Nice boots I might add ;D) He builds a fire and comes over with flamin' splinters, through the holes in his socks, he threatens Slim's toenails.* :o :o ;)
"Tell me the truth Slim, what really went on while I was gone?" ;D
*(Slim is slippin' he ain't been this easy to catch in months.)
((Author's question: How many bedrooms are in the house? I know there's a "eat-in" kitchen, parlor, dining room, Del's office and bedroom, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother's cupola bedroom, Slim's room,Trinity's room, Pete's room, (soon to be) Scattered Thumbs' room, Gopher Grease's room, Handtub's room. That makes nine, and is there a bathroom upstairs as well as downstairs? ))
Sometimes, she cheats...
Knowing Slim wasn't going to incriminate her, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother slips away, walking down to the Dismal and the area where the sewer pipe used to be. She stands there, squinting hard, focuses and draws her wand. At first, nothing happens, the water is as still as ever.
Then some bubbles appear, then more, then a cascade of them as if a small section of the river is boiling. In the middle of the chaos, the box with Scattered Thumbs' firearms appears, then rises up to float above the water. It drips dry, then starts its journey through the air toward shore.
A little while later, while Trinity is working on still #7, he sees the box go floating by, about 10 feet above the ground.
The window to Scattered Thumbs' room opens as the box nears. The box gracefully floats through the window, then lowers to slide under the bed. The window slams shut.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother returns about thirty minutes later. She looks very tired.
"What's for dinner?"
<Author's note: The Dismal River moves 6-7 miles and hour and is not still. It is a popular and somewhat dangerous river for canoeist's, never canoe the Dismal after dark, ya can loose yer head on neck high barb wire. :P The reason I correct the FFg on this is the fast movement of the spring fed river are figgerin' into the later plot of this story. ;D)
Slim remains strangely silent despite the Red Ceder slivers burnin' under his toe nails. :P :P Delmonico goes to the barn and gets a box of horse shoe nails to heat red hot and try next. ;D ;D Delmonico knows something has happened while he was gone, he don't trust Pete, the FFg is clearly lying and Trinity will never remember. ;D So as much as he hates to do it,Slim is the only one who will tell.
(( Author's note: No correction was needed for I wrote: "the water is as still as ever." That means it was moving along at 6-7 miles per hour with nothing disrupting its flow. So there. :P ))
Since Slim still won't talk, Delmonico lets him go. ;D ;D Delmonico takes the piebald box out of the buggy and carries it into his renovated office. ::) ::) ::) He goes back to the buggy and gets another box about 2"X2"X36" and several smaller boxes and carries them into the office. ::) ::)
<Authors note: here is some information on the Dismal River>
http://www.gliddencanoerental.com/dismalriver.html
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother nurses Slim's feet, then makes everyone grilled cheese sandwiches with bacon for dinner since Delmonico is back in his pink room.
Delmonico goes out to the buggy and brings in several rolls of wall paper and a bag of flour. ;D ;D
"Thank ya kindly fer fixing my feet, ma'am. Del gets a bit ornery at times." ;D
(Author's note: I was at Dick Dastardly learnin' how to cast boolits when Del did this to Slim.)
(Author's Note: Slim, would you please start a thread about your experience with DD yesterday? I've heard great things about him. :-* AL))
Delmonico is up paperin' his office with a neutral colored striped wallpaper. ;D ;D ;D When he is done he lays out his wood duck skin to dry. ??? ;)
Quote from: AnnieLee on May 20, 2005, 10:53:50 AM
(Author's Note: Slim, would you please start a thread about your experience with DD yesterday? I've heard great things about him. :-* AL))
(Author's note: It's in the Darkside forum. It's titled "Boolits!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!")
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother peeks into the pink room. There it is, with neutral striped wall paper just like it was before, with the pink curtains and pink linens, and pink bedspread, most of it in chintz. The four post bed even has a pink canopy.
She chuckles, shakes her head, and wanders back to the kitchen.
"That man is so strange."
Delmonico finishes the wallpaper and then goes out to the buggy and gets neutral colored everything else and installs it. ;D He piles the pink junk up in a pile, tryin' to figger out what to do with it. ;D ;D He goes to the empty room that pete has moved into and piles it up. ;D ;D
He leaves a note: "If you can use this you can have it." ;D
Delmonico then hitches up the buggy and leaves a note: "I'm going to the forks of the Dismal, be back later!"
Duke jumps in the buggy and they head west olong the Dismal. ??? ??? ??? ???
Delmonico and Duke reach the forks of the Dismal and Duke goes for a swim. ;D ;D ;D They find a shady spot under the shade of a tree along thesouth side of the north fork of the river. ;) Delmonico finds some dry twigs and builds a fire and brews a pot of coffee and grills a couple of steaks.
Duke and him then kick back and watch to the north as if they are waitin' for something. ;D
Stoney enters his room. "Never even knew I'd been assigned a room here. Guess I'd been sleepin' in the barn for nothin'", he thinks.
Having been raised with 3 sisters, Stoney is no stranger to pink things or frillies. Since the FFG was so excited for Del's brides arrival, all the stuff was top of the line.
"Pinks sleeps just as well as any other color.", Stoney says to himself. He makes his bed and sacks out.
I'll have to remember to thank Del for being so thoughtful. ;D
In the late afternoon Delmonico and Duke watch to tank wagons approach the forks of the Dismal. ;D
When they arrive both are emptied into the river. ??? Delmonico and the men with the tank wagons catch a lot of isects and sit down to look at them before departin' their seperate ways. ;D
It been a very active day down here at litl rooster's cow camp on the Dismal, early this morning 2 tank wagons headedup stream.. Then a little bit later a beautiful woman (played by Melanie Griffith) rode by riding a mule, bawling her eyes out. I stopped her and inquired if she was all right. She then told me how she was a mail order bride, but after arriving, delivery was declined and she was told to take mule back to Livery. That the husband to be did want either of them. Being the gentleman that I am, I offered her a fresh cup of coffee, and some left over trout that I had caught this morning. Then offered to escort her back to Dunning.. It is dangerous country for a young beautiful woman to travel alone.
As I was storing my trappin's away, for the journey into town, a caravan of sorts was again heading up the Dismal. In a 2 wheel cart pulled by a nice English bred horse, with A man in a fancy uniform and a Amish beard,(played by C. Evertt Coop) and a mud coach with several other uniformed men and women followed and a supply wagon behind it. I believe it is the Surgeon General Dr. Mc Coy and his Army. A short distance maybe a 1/4 mile a peddler wagon follows them driven by Wilford Brimley, his wagon is loaded with rolled oats. Finally the pards at the Pink Ranch will get checked over and I won't need to worry about their collesteral.
I load my saddle bags a box of shotshells and a box of .45's 2 cans of peaches and some fresh made venison jerky for the journey to Dunning. I mount ole' Dos and the Young bride to be and I ride off. The old mule she is riding is sound but a slow mover, I check my reins and pull Dos up into walk.
Delmonico whips the mules pullin' the buggy and him and Duke high tail back to the ranch. As it was gettin' dark he seen some really strange folks. :o :o As he tops the last hill he can see the lights in the window of the ranch house.
The folks here are also strange, but he knows he's atleast half way safe and the won't make him eat oatmeal, Delmonico don't like not hot cereal but grits and them not to well. ;D Delmonico won't eat no oatmeal not even if ya threaten to shoot him 34 times with an Evans (old model, the new model only shots 28. ::))
Quote from: AnnieLee on May 19, 2005, 11:11:22 PM
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother nurses Slim's feet, then makes everyone grilled cheese sandwiches with bacon for dinner since Delmonico is back in his pink room.
Not too long later Trinity tears into the room, again ripping the recently repaired door from it's hinges. "Ah smailt bacon!!"
In conversation with the FFG, Slim and Stoney, Trinity learns all about Del's frantic rush to change the room back to its plain-jane former self. "Ah thank we orta change his room back agin!" <giggle> ;D ;D ;D
Little does Trinty know that it is bacon flavored Oatmeal. :o
<Author's note: For bacon flavored oatmeal you must introduce a Scotsman to the story.> ;D
(( I think Leonard McCoy is a Scotsman. :P))
Quote from: AnnieLee on May 21, 2005, 06:34:03 PM
(( I think Leonard McCoy is a Scotsman. :P))
Actually think his family came from Wales but close enough, Where did that Angus fella run off too?
Quote from: AnnieLee on May 21, 2005, 06:34:03 PM
(( I think Leonard McCoy is a Scotsman. :P))
((I think you got him mixed up with Mr. Scot)) ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Trinity on May 21, 2005, 08:52:07 PM
Quote from: AnnieLee on May 21, 2005, 06:34:03 PM
(( I think Leonard McCoy is a Scotsman. :P))
((I think you got him mixed up with Mr. Scot)) ;D ;D ;D
(Actually, I thought about that. There was Kirk, a decidely British name, then Scotty, who was unmistakably Scottish, then Bones... who has a Scottish name. Was it intentional on Gene Roddenbury's part? Whoops, now I've let on to who he is. I don't think most readers caught on to the exact character I was mentioning. Eep! :D)
Quote from: AnnieLee on May 21, 2005, 09:03:30 PM
Quote from: Trinity on May 21, 2005, 08:52:07 PM
Quote from: AnnieLee on May 21, 2005, 06:34:03 PM
(( I think Leonard McCoy is a Scotsman. :P))
((I think you got him mixed up with Mr. Scot)) ;D ;D ;D
(Actually, I thought about that. There was Kirk, a decidely British name, then Scotty, who was unmistakably Scottish, then Bones... who has a Scottish name. Was it intentional on Gene Roddenbury's part? Whoops, now I've let on to who he is. I don't think most readers caught on to the exact character I was mentioning. Eep! :D)
((Not being a "Trekkie", I still got the allusion and even understood the red shirt comment, but don't understand why that upset you so. I tripped, however, and missed the
McCoy link!
Oh, Litl Rooster... Trinity doesn't dislike Oatmeal... Delmonico does. So, Bacon flavored oatmeal would be great for him (http://www.cascity.com/sws/chat/images/smiley10.gif) ))
Delmonico ignores the argueing in the dinin' room over the Scotsman, cause none of the ones mentioned had a kilt or bag-pipes. ;D ;D
Delmonico goes to his office and starts tying feathers to little hooks. ;D ;D
<Authors note: Oatmeal, cream of wheat, poached eggs and cornstarch/milk based puddin's are all part of what the damned horspital die-a-tit-ions call a soft diet, along with the wonderful cream-of-unmentionable soups, they ain't allowed to treat prisioners that bad. :P)
Walking down at the banks of the Dismal, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother squints at something she sees in the water, then smiles. She wanders a bit, her hand seeming to snatch at the air a few times, then has a seat, reaching to her head to pull out a few hair pins and bending them, rubbing them against a rock until one end is sharpened, then taking thread from the hem of her dress. Humming happily under her breath, she ties the caught bugs to the newly curved hairpins.
After looking around to see if anyone is watching, she removes some longer thread, attaches one end to her hairpin, and the other to her wand. She gets up, moving back to the Dismal. She extends the wand out with her hand and it slowly.... grows. When it is about six feet long, she flicks it out over the water, sending the hairpin fly.... flying.
:D
AnnieLee
Napping among the tall grasses at the edge of the river, Trinity hears the comotion and pokes his head up just in time to see the FFG cast out her line.
Excited, he mutters to himself: "Oh goody, we're gonna to have fish fer dinner!!!"
Delmonico watches the FFg catch Creek Chub after bony Creek Chub, cause the Rocky Mountan Rainbows stocked up river are just minnow sized fingerlings that will need to grow. ;D ;D
Actually, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother doesn't catch anything. After all, she is fishing with thread from her dress! Every time she gets anything stronger than a nibble, the thread breaks and she laughs.
:P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :D
"Dadburnit! What kind of magic is that? You'd figger if she kin do all that an' make her wand extend in length, she could at least git some fish. Phooey! >:(
Ah'm hongry!"
Appearing out of nowhere, a Creek Chub smacks Trinity's face with its tail, then falls back into the Dismal, leaving behind a scattering of glittering sawdust in Trinity's lap.
"I heard that. Haven't you ever heard of fishing for fun? There's no keepers in the river."
Clearly upset, Trinity stands up, brushes the sawdust from his lap and yells back at the river in a taunting manner: "Well fine then. Ah'll jus' go huntin' fer fun an' throw the carcasses back. What do you thank of that!??"
With that he storms off.
With out sayin' a word, Delmonico goes to the old dugout and heads to the hole in the bend just below the FFg, just before he throws sumthin' in the river he is seen to strike a lucifer. ???
There is a muffled boom and the FFg is showered with water coming down like a Newbrasky downpour. :D Delmonico and Duke wade in and gather up several pan size channel catfish. ;D
"These are great out of fast movin' clean water, course we can't do that when the trouts get down here from the forks."
"That Alfred Nobel sure invented a great way to fish, he should get some sort of prize for that." ::) ::) :D :D ;)
Quote from: Delmonico on May 22, 2005, 10:15:02 PM
"That Alfred Nobel sure invented a great way to fish, he should get some sort of prize for that." ::) ::) :D :D ;)
Author's note: (Cause S.T. is not here yet) I don't know about no prize but he sure is gonna get stinking rich if he found a magic way to get fish. ;D Maybe he'll get so rich that he'll give away prizes for those that aren't smart enough to get stinking rich by themselves. ::)
Stoney wakes up in his pink room. The lace on the pillows has left an impression on his face. :o Sure is a comfy bed, even if it is pink.
Feeling the need to do some "manly" after sleepin in that room, Stoney get his scatter gun and goes out hunting pheasants. "Let's see, if I get 4 for Trinity, and 2 for me, that will mean I only need 6 more and the whole clan can eat. That Del fella talks so much about eatin', might be he's got a good recipe for pheasant."
A short while later one heard the sound of a 12 ga firing in the hills. Before noon, Stoney came walking in with not 12, but 15 pheasants for dinner.
Delmonico just shakes his head at Stoney Pete, cause he's as naive as Slim when he first got there to "The Ranch with No Name. ;D Stoney can shoot lots of Prairie Chickens, but he's about 30-40 years to early to be shootin' pheasants, cause there ain't none here yet. :D :D :D :D
Author's note: Them be those "twilight zone pheasants" ;D
((Yep, if Delmonico can have a coaloil computer, Pete can shoot pheasants. So there. :P ))
Quote from: AnnieLee on May 23, 2005, 10:08:32 AM
((Yep, if Delmonico can have a coaloil computer, Pete can shoot pheasants. So there. :P ))
Thank you FFG :-*
Quote from: stoneypete on May 23, 2005, 11:13:09 AM
Quote from: AnnieLee on May 23, 2005, 10:08:32 AM
((Yep, if Delmonico can have a coaloil computer, Pete can shoot pheasants. So there. :P ))
Thank you FFG :-*
((Er, Pete? I'm not the Frumpy Fairy Godmother. She's imaginary and doesn't know it, so I have to be careful so she doesn't see me. I have to hide inside the parenthesis, it's like a stealth shield! :-* AnnieLee))
Slim goes out to check fer eggs and milch the cow.
< Author's note: I know whats real and what's not,
www.coaloilcomputor.com >
Quote from: Delmonico on May 23, 2005, 12:48:24 PM
< Author's note: I know whats real and what's not,
www.coaloilcomputor.com >
It must have a virus!
dem' are released birds Stoney is eating, released on a test, on a trial basis. Good shooting Stoney but your 12 over your daily bag limit.
Am sure happy to see every one took Doc McCoy's advise and are eating better today.
Annie, catch and release fishing is the origanol (spell) YUPPIE sport
Quote from: litl rooster on May 23, 2005, 08:59:30 PM
Annie, catch and release fishing is the origanol (spell) YUPPIE sport
The man is right, Annie. ::)
<Authors note: I just don't know why that link don't work for some folks. ;D ::)>
Quote from: Delmonico on May 24, 2005, 09:08:16 AM
<Authors note: I just don't know why that link don't work for some folks. ;D ::)>
(Author's note: Cuz ya spelt it rong. It shood be: http://www.coaloilcomputer.com ) ;D
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on May 24, 2005, 09:21:48 AM
Quote from: Delmonico on May 24, 2005, 09:08:16 AM
<Authors note: I just don't know why that link don't work for some folks. ;D ::)>
(Author's note: Cuz ya spelt it rong. It shood be: http://www.coaloilcomputer.com ) ;D
It still don't work for me ???
((So, if the Frumpy Fairy Godmother is considered a YUPPY because she follows the time-honored tradition of relaxation of fishing without catching anything, so be it!! But at least she isn't a
(http://www.hometownfavorites.com/images/items/Large/HFCA452.jpg)
for clicking on that made up link!!
:-* :D
AnnieLee ))
Quote from: AnnieLee on May 24, 2005, 10:31:49 AM
((So, if the Frumpy Fairy Godmother is considered a YUPPY because she follows the time-honored tradition of relaxation of fishing without catching anything, so be it!! But at least she isn't a
(http://www.hometownfavorites.com/images/items/Large/HFCA452.jpg)
for clicking on that made up link!!
:-* :D
AnnieLee ))
At least I got called a sucker with style ;D
Soaked to the skin and with a small fish flopping around on the top of her hat, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother slowly makes her way back to the house. Water is squishing out from her boots.
Author's note: Just when did you get the dunking? Did I miss something?
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on May 24, 2005, 10:59:52 AM
Author's note: Just when did you get the dunking? Did I miss something?
Quote from: Delmonico on May 22, 2005, 10:15:02 PM
With out sayin' a word, Delmonico goes to the old dugout and heads to the hole in the bend just below the FFg, just before he throws sumthin' in the river he is seen to strike a lucifer. ???
There is a muffled boom and the FFg is showered with water coming down like a Newbrasky downpour. :D Delmonico and Duke wade in and gather up several pan size channel catfish. ;D
"These are great out of fast movin' clean water, course we can't do that when the trouts get down here from the forks."
"That Alfred Nobel sure invented a great way to fish, he should get some sort of prize for that." ::) ::) :D :D ;)
She climbs up the porch steps then hesitates at the doorway to the house. She's still dripping. The fish fell off her hat somewhere along the way. Her undergarments are clinging in very uncomfortable positions.
And so, she sighs. She's too wet to go in the house, and she knows the moment she takes something off, someone will come around the corner and catch her in a state of undress. Her clothing is leaving a puddle around her feet.
She sighs again.
Slim opens the front door to go out to check for eggs and milch the cow. :o He sees the sight before his eyes and his lower jaw hits the floor. After nearly a minute has passed, the initial shock subsides and Slim collects his thoughts. "What happened to you?"
Delmonico is out in the kitchen fryin' catfish and hears the conversation, "She just don'n know enough to get out of the way when someone is usin' the "Alfred Nobel Fishing Lure." ;D
(Delmonico has dusted the fish with flour cause he don't like batter or cornmeal on his fried fish.)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother's voice is just a tiny bit tight.
"Delmonico blew up the Dismal so he could fry some fish. May I please have a towel or three?"
"Yes, ma'am." Slim goes into the bathroom, brings back several towels, and gives them to the FFg. "Here you are ma'am."
With a large breath of relief, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother accepts the towels from Slim. "I'd hug you, but I'd get you all wet! Please give me a reason to not turn Delmonico into a catfish?"
Turning her back to Slim (for the sake of modesty), she towels off, wringing out her skirts until she is no longer dripping on the porch. Now wrinkly and damp, she turns back around, giving Slim a wide smile of gratitude as she heads to the cupola.
As she passes the broken doorway to the kitchen, a sodden towel flies through the air to smack Delmonico upside his head.
Slim calls after her, "I have no reason." ;D
Delmonico just ducks the towel and laughs to himself. She look of the FFg's face when the water went up in the air and then came back down was a sight to see. ;D ;D ;D
Slim goes out to check fer eggs and milch the cow. ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother goes upstairs to change her clothes. She'll pay back Delmonico another time.
Trinity staggers up to her door and replies to her now hours old question: "Ah got a good reason! Ya ouddn't turn him inta a fish caus' then he couldn't make no fish fer us fer dinner!"
Proud of himself for coming up with such a profound thought, Trinity takes another drink and goes to the kitchen where he pokes his head outside and hollars:
"He, Schlim! Hascht du endlich die Kuehe gemelkt?"
A shriek is the only response through the semi-opened door as Trinity catches the Frumpy Fairy Godmother as she is putting on her chemise. Two seconds later, her door slams shut.
Trinity's vision is so glazed at this point that he can hardly see his nose. It's a true marvel that he traversed the steps to and from the cupola safely!
;D ::) :D
Trinity's companion, Frankenbird, is not so soused. It's an odd thing, hearing a rooster snicker.
Delmonico hears Trinity speakin' in German and decides a sauerbratten would be nice so he mixes the marinate and puts the beef in it and places it in the icebox. ;D
"C'mon Frankenbird! Git on down here an' stop tryin' to look under that door up there!!!" Frankenbird obeys, but being a little more drunk than Trinity and having much shorter legs, his descent is not very elegant.
Much like a stiff slinky, he falls forward, bounces off of his head on the next step down, somersaults and bounces off of his feet on the next step and continues until he is lying at the foot of the stairs. Somewhere in the middle of the staircase he had built up so much speed that he was skipping several steps at a time and completing as many as tenty-five somersaults before reaching the next vaulting point.
Hearing the mutant fall, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother's embarassment is overcome by amusement and she laughs as she finishes dressing.
Delmonico hollors from the kitchen: "Be careful his head ain't on real tight."
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"And neither is the bird's!" ;D ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: litl rooster on May 23, 2005, 08:59:30 PM
Good shooting Stoney but your 12 over your daily bag limit.
Since these are "Twilight" pheasants, there is not bag limit. 'Sides, I don't want fish fer dinner. Trinity, bring your jug and let marinate these here birds for supper.
Quote from: Trinity on May 24, 2005, 09:13:48 PM
Trinity staggers up to her door and replies to her now hours old question: "Ah got a good reason! Ya ouddn't turn him inta a fish caus' then he couldn't make no fish fer us fer dinner!"
Proud of himself for coming up with such a profound thought, Trinity takes another drink and goes to the kitchen where he pokes his head outside and hollars:
"He, Schlim! Hascht du endlich die Kuehe gemelkt?"
"Ja. Ich schließlich molk die Kuh und erfaßte die Eier." ;D
Delmonico hollors from the kitchen: "If you marinate them birds that don't exist in that stuff in Trinity's jug you better plan on eatin' them raw. If you plan on "tryin" to cook them do it far away, new buildings cost money." ;D ;D
"What a great idea there Del. Tinity, where is the BBQ pit? If there ain't one let's build it."
"They'll cook right fast that way." ;D
(http://www.pb.unimelb.edu.au/emergency/template-assets-custom/images/explosion.jpg)
"Our cookfire will be seen for miles around. ;D Be there any hostiles that might misinterpret my 'smoke signals' "?
"The hostile injuns are purdy much on Reservations, now."
yup they on the rez but them smoke signals like love notes :-* :-*
them squaws can smell them fruit trees burn fer miles ;D
WOW now that's a BBQ fire starter even a Redneck would be proud of....Hey watch this!
"Mah Uncle Clem onct said that... It done took us three days ta gather enough pieces worthy of a burial!"
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on May 25, 2005, 08:55:18 AM"Ja. Ich schließlich molk die Kuh und erfaßte die Eier." ;D
"Oh, gut! Dass freut mich. Bedeutet das daß wir morgen frische Milch und gebackene eier haben? Können wir auch Speck haben??"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gives Trinity one of those sidelong looks.
"Trinity, we have fresh milk, eggs, and bacon nearly every morning, you know that."
She ends her sentence with a "tsk", shakes her head, and goes back to her knitting.
Quote from: Trinity on May 26, 2005, 10:20:03 PM
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on May 25, 2005, 08:55:18 AM"Ja. Ich schließlich molk die Kuh und erfaßte die Eier." ;D
"Oh, gut! Dass freut mich. Bedeutet das daß wir morgen frische Milch und gebackene eier haben? Können wir auch Speck haben??"
First you got rid of the people's (meaning me) guns. >:(
Then you went on an annexation spree. ::)
Now, this language! :o
Is your first Name Adolf by any chance? ::)
((Dang! Scattered Thumbs has a point! Maybe Trinity isn't channeling Billy Jack anymore, maybe he's channeling Adolf!! :o :o :o))
Slim drags himself done the stairs to the kitchen and pours himself a BIG cup of coffee. "Mornin' y'all."
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother smiles at Slim.
"Morning, Sleepy Head! I fetched the milk and eggs this morning, so you don't have to worry about that."
"Thank ya, ma'am."
(Author's note: My boss just told me I was leaving verk 2 hours early today. She's so nice! ;D)
Delmonico is standin' on the hill in the dieing light watchin' Slim get smaller as he rides away. ;D
Suddenly a beam of blue light surronds him and he is lifted up into the flying Plates. :o
They are last seen headin' west. ???
litl rooster has arrived with the unwanted mail order bride in Dunning and has seen her to coach where she heads back to the ,Mail order brides are us wharehouse. I have also recieved word in Dunning that things are getting stranger back up on the Dismal, stops at the towns only Magic writin box store and see how to download Google for translations of post.
si habla esgoogle.com
Quote from: litl rooster on May 27, 2005, 08:24:29 PM
litl rooster has arrived with the unwanted mail order bride in Dunning and has seen her to coach where she heads back to the ,Mail order brides are us wharehouse. I have also recieved word in Dunning that things are getting stranger back up on the Dismal, stops at the towns only Magic writin box store and see how to download Google for translations of post.
si habla esgoogle.com
Dontcha mean "Mail order brides Я us" ? ;D
Quote from: Trinity on May 27, 2005, 08:41:35 PM
Dontcha mean "Mail order brides Я us" ? ;D
((Show off. :P))
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother runs up to her cupola and loads the big blaster, but the plates are gone before she can get them in her sights.
"Dang it! They better keep those probes away from Delmonico."
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on May 27, 2005, 06:26:21 AM
Quote from: Trinity on May 26, 2005, 10:20:03 PM
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on May 25, 2005, 08:55:18 AM"Ja. Ich schließlich molk die Kuh und erfaßte die Eier." ;D
"Oh, gut! Dass freut mich. Bedeutet das daß wir morgen frische Milch und gebackene eier haben? Können wir auch Speck haben??"
First you got rid of the people's (meaning me) guns. >:(
Then you went on an annexation spree. ::)
Now, this language! :o
Is your first Name Adolf by any chance? ::)
Mah name ain't Ay-dolf! If there's anyone we should be curious about, it would be you. You seem to be changing faces quite frequently for brief periods. I just wonder about someone who does that! ;D ;D
The strange little men with big heads who wear white coats soon have tubes going both in and out of Delmonico, trying to figure out why cosies are so grumpy. But they make a big mistake by giving him the good drugs and forcing him to watch the Hitler channel when he's awake, so he just won't cooperate and be grumpy for them.
They don't know that all they need to do is put jello or oatmeal in front of him.
:D
:o Shocked of thought that Delmonico's live maybe endangered, I realized we are all here in Nebrassky are about to pass up a golden oppourtunity...You see know matter what you think, Delmonico is about to become more than the big headed fellas can handle. So when they try to return him we stand our ground and refuse his reentry, unless we are compensated for it.....It's a law that the "big heads" are unaware of, However ignorance of the law is no excuse. ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gives Litl Rooster a look of astonishment that quickly changes to delight.
"Make them pay for us to take him back? What a grand idea! Knowing Delmonico, he'll be feeding them castor oil and generally making their lives miserable within days. I bet that within a week they'll take any asking price just to be rid of him!"
She sits out on the porch looking out over the yard. "Sure is quiet with him, Slim, and Pete away. And I wonder what happened to that peddler that was here a few months ago? I could use some new books."
litl rooster ride by the porch and throws a bundle of rummage sale romance novels and Zane Grays to FFG ;D
Happy reading chores to do and some Targets to make holes in Later
Quote from: Trinity on May 28, 2005, 12:25:04 AM
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on May 27, 2005, 06:26:21 AM
Quote from: Trinity on May 26, 2005, 10:20:03 PM
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on May 25, 2005, 08:55:18 AM"Ja. Ich schließlich molk die Kuh und erfaßte die Eier." ;D
"Oh, gut! Dass freut mich. Bedeutet das daß wir morgen frische Milch und gebackene eier haben? Können wir auch Speck haben??"
First you got rid of the people's (meaning me) guns. >:(
Then you went on an annexation spree. ::)
Now, this language! :o
Is your first Name Adolf by any chance? ::)
Mah name ain't Ay-dolf! If there's anyone we should be curious about, it would be you. You seem to be changing faces quite frequently for brief periods. I just wonder about someone who does that! ;D ;D
Curiosity killed the cat...
I was saddened to know that Eddie Albert passed away last Thursday at age 99.
"Green Acres" will never be the same again.
You know... it ain' been the same since they stopped filming it in the early 70s.
Quote from: Trinity on May 29, 2005, 09:27:25 PM
You know... it ain' been the same since they stopped filming it in the early 70s.
I know they stopped filming it in 1976 (I think), That's when I watched it for the first time.
But it still exists in my mind(among lots of other stuff ;D). And it's there that it won't ever be the same.
Heck, I thought Eddie Albert had been dead, for some years now. He played a good straight man in that role in Green Acres
;D Notice how calm things have been since the Flying plates took Delmonico away? ;D ;D ;D :o
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother doesn't reply. That bundle of books hit her in the back of the head and she is "out cold" on the porch!
OOOOppp's litl rooster not realizing his good deed went afowl, bounds from his horse and catches FFg, before she falls and further injurers herself. Sorry Annie! Then tyes a note to his horse and sends him off to fetch Dr. McCoy.
"Ah thank Dr. McCoy is up in them plates with Del. He don' lahk much bein' transported down here. We might have to call fer Del's earthly Dr. Two Finger."
My horse not knowing the differences between the 2 doctors brings the drunkin' Dr. Two Finger back to FFg's aid...I offer the horse some water and watch.
what Lassie? Timmy is in the well?
Stoney finished the last of the "twilight" phesants that no-one wanted to help him with. Not even trinity ???
Having seen the FFG pointing her scatter gun at some flying plates, he decides it's time to go for a long ride. He saddles his horse, makes sure all his guns are loaded and ready to go and without a word starts ridding toward Dunning. From there he'll decide what to do next...
You *could* call it a scattergun....
QuoteAs the music fades, they hear someone say" Ya sur got a pudy mouth". At that time Gopher Grease Pulls up in a wagon loaded with a new shoting iron, got 8 barels and a crank on the side. He looks to the others and say" I don heard thar be snakes up thar and dont have to reload so often this way".
Trinity how be your scours need anuther spoon full?
(from page 4.)
Gopher Grease set it up in the Frumpy Fairy Godmother's cupola. When she finally comes around and back to what senses she has left, she starts looking for him, in the mood for some Zuppa Tuscany.
Dr. Two Finger comes flailing and falling away from the Frumpy Fairy Godmother, now bearing several new lumps on his head.
"Get her away from me, she's CRAZY!"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother glides serenely out on the porch, looking out across the land.
"Where's Slim? Shouldn't he be here by now?"
Trinity joins the FFG on the porch. "Oh, good. Ah shore am glad ta see yore doin' better!"
Watching the doctor run accross the yard, away from the house, Trinity asks: "What got inta the doctor? Does he know he's headed t'ward the quicksand? ... Oh, bah the way, d'you know what happent ta them pleasents what stoneypete done caught fer us? Ah had me a might powerful hunger but kain' find none in the icebox!!!"
"I'm not sure what he did with them, Trinity, weren't you supposed to be helping him? Maybe he put them out in the smokehouse." She gets a faraway look to her gaze, "though I've never had smoked pheasant before."
"MMMMMM! Smoked pleasants! That shore sounds good. Ahm gonna check the smokehouse! Wanna come?"
She slips her hand into the crook of Trinity's arm. "Lead the way, kind sir!"
litl rooster sits on his horse laughing at the famous Dr.2 finger sinking in the quicksand. Throws a loop to him and drags him out. As he coils his rope he hears the Doc mumbling something to the effect that we are crazy here. I laugh and ride off. Want to be clear of of Stoney Pete, before he comitts any more game violations.
Annie again sorry on the mishap with the books
Quote from: Trinity on May 31, 2005, 10:05:21 PM
... Oh, bah the way, d'you know what happent ta them pleasents what stoneypete done caught fer us? Ah had me a might powerful hunger but kain' find none in the icebox!!!"
Quote from: stoneypete on May 31, 2005, 05:34:32 AM
Stoney finished the last of the "twilight" phesants that no-one wanted to help him with. Not even trinity ???
Authors note: They be gone Trinity. You, of all people, should know what happens to them that don't come running when the dinner bell rings. They get to look at empty plates. :'(
Stoney wakes up and looks around. Slowly remembering that he's left the ranch, but not really sure if the why was dream or reality. ??? As the cobwebs left his mind, he did remember that he'd decide his next move from here. Stoney rolled over and went back to sleep.
Slim rides in. He and his horse are tuckered out. Slim slides from his horse, drags himself onto the porch, and sits in a chair.
Coming back from the smoke house, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother spies Slim on the porch. Squealing like a gerl, she picks up the hems of her skirts and runs full tilt to the porch, scampering up the steps, then leaning over the chair to hug him.
" I am so glad you are back. Is all well? Let me get you some sweet tea."
FFG, be sure to fill Slim in on the plans not to allow the flying plates to release Delmonico untill are demands are met.
In her excitement to greet Slim, the FFG leaves Trinity with his head hung low. "Ah kain' b'lieve they're all gone!!!! Ah jus kain' b'lieve it!"
Trinity mopes up to the house where he lazily greets Slim: "Hey Slim."
He then clambers into the hammock and swings while listening to the sounds of the evening, Slim and the FFG talking... and his stomach rumbling.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother takes a break from talking to Slim and goes inside for a bit. When she comes back out, she brings sandwiches and potatoe salad, mounds of each, plates, forks and napkins.
"I miss Delmonico."
Quote from: AnnieLee on June 01, 2005, 10:13:23 PM
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother takes a break from talking to Slim and goes inside for a bit. When she comes back out, she brings sandwiches and potatoe salad, mounds of each, plates, forks and napkins.
"I miss Delmonico."
Yep sure is quiet without him here, in his own thread
Author's note: What year is it in our little story here ???
Quote from: stoneypete on June 02, 2005, 06:09:59 AM
Author's note: What year is it in our little story here ???
Author's note: 1885. You got a Democrat for President (must be Delmonico's twisted sense of humour ;D ).
Quote from: AnnieLee on June 01, 2005, 03:22:18 PM
Coming back from the smoke house, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother spies Slim on the porch. Squealing like a gerl, she picks up the hems of her skirts and runs full tilt to the porch, scampering up the steps, then leaning over the chair to hug him.
" I am so glad you are back. Is all well? Let me get you some sweet tea."
"Thank ya, ma'am. It's good to be back. I saw the flying plates take Del away. No one, even Del, should be subjected to the probing of those critters. So, I whipped my horse into a frenzy to try to catch up with the plates. I got to the Dakota Territory 'fore I lost 'em. But, I had a runnin' battle with 'em 'til then. They'd shoot their red light at me and I'd shoot my 'Mighty Ten' at them. They just burnt some of my hair, but I filled a plate with buck shot." ;D
As they speak, another silvery flying plate appears, then hovers over Doc Twofingers, who had been running around the fields for a few days.
There is a bright beam of light and the doc disappears into the flying plate.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother looks back to Slim.
"I think Delmonico is in trouble, now."
"I ain't chasin' after dem plates agin. Purt near kilt my horse last time." >:(
"I didn't mean the aliens, I meant that derned doctor and his rubber gloves! It's bad enough Delmonico is getting probed without having that doc and his two fingers around."
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother looks to the disappearing flying plate and frowns.
"Oh!" :o
:-[
*THOCK*
"It ain't the same ta drank without worryin' whether Del done rernt mah recipe with his earl! Anyone want a slug?" Trinity takes a gulp and holds the jug up for whomever may wish to take it.
Sure is quiet around here....Is there any potatoe salad left?
"There's some in the icebox. I'm going to put boiled eggs in the next batch."
"I likes boiled eggs in tater salad. I'z gonna go check fer eggs and milch the cow." Slim walks out to do the aforementioned.
Thank you and I like boiled eggs in my potatoe salad also
"Ah don' lahk no tater salad. Anyone seen the sausages. We gonna have sausages?"
Quote from: Trinity on June 05, 2005, 07:17:40 PM
"Ah don' lahk no tater salad. Anyone seen the sausages. We gonna have sausages?"
Between the chops and the bacon in the butcher section, at your favorite Piggley Wiggley??? ???
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gives Litl Rooster an odd look. "What's a Piggley Wiggely? Are you telling Trinity to go kill a pig?"
She makes another face then turns to Trinity. "They should be in the smoke house, didn't you see any when you were there?"
And with that, she picks up Slim's bucket and basket and heads off to milche the cow and gather eggs.
Slim rides in with his saddle bags filled with all different kinds of cheese. He puts the cheese in the icebox and pours himself a cup of coffee.
Duke, who had been previously thought to have been taken with Delmonico, comes trotting up with Slim. He's clean, and happy, and obviously well fed.
Daisy and Claire bound off the porch to greet him as the Frumpy Fairy Godmother hugs Slim.
"We thought he was gone, Slim, where'd you find him?"
"He was in Dunning. The whole town adopted him. I tolt 'em he was our dawg and they let him go with me."
"I'm so glad. I hope he didn't get used to the easy life there and runs off on us." But Duke's face as he starts romping with the "ladies" eases her concerns and she lowers her voice. "You didn't see that mutant turkey vulture anywhere, did you? He's been gone, too."
"Nope, I didn't see the Frankenbird." ;D
She draws a long breath.
"it'd be mighty gruesome if the flying plate people swapped Frankenbird's and Delmonico's heads."
:o :o :o :o
Suddenly up on the hill the flying plates return, hovering in the dusk. :o :o A blue light flashes out and strikes the ground near the barn. ::) As the flying plates leave, Delmonico can be seen runnin' to the house, wearing a strange white with blue paisley night shirt that is split up the back and tied. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
He heads into his office and slams the door, things will be more "normal" on the Dismal for a while. ;D ;D
"WELCOME BACK PARD!!!!" Trinity whispers to the crowd gathered outside his door: "Did anybody see who's haid was on his shoulders?"
Her eyes wide with astonishment, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother shakes her head. "I didn't see it. It wasn't the rooster, was it?"
"Ah don' rightly know, but I know a way to find out!"
Inside his office, Delmonico is latchin' doors and pilin' furnature up again them.
Duke, ever the smart dog, runs around the house and climbs through Delmonico's open window. He starts to bark.
CAREFUL Duke, might be some kind of trick
"Del, how much probin' did they do ta ya?" :o ???
They missed two openings, one being my left nostril. ;D But they made many new holes. :o :o
"I ain't gonna ask in public which was the other opening." :o "It's good ta have ya back, pard." ;D
"It sure sounds like him and not a rooster... and that body was too large to belong to the Frankenbird, so I reckon Delmonico is ok!"
As the Frumpy Fairy Godmother grins, Duke nudges his head against Delmonico's hand for some pets and scritching.
"Well.... as ok as he ever is..."
"So whar's mah buddy, Frankenbird?"
Just then the freakish little bird stumbles up the steps and weaves his way over to the crowd. He's joined by Sheep and both are intoxicated.
Suddenly Delmonico gets an Idea, when the present rooster needs replaced, they can have chicken and dumplings again anfd graft it's head on a Red Tailed hawk, in a few years they could have a whole herd of drunken freak birds. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Might have to keep them on an island in the river, along with Dr. Two Fingers. :o :o :o :o
Yep things is lookin' normal in Nebrassky again :o
At the mention of chicken and dumplings Frankenbird jerks his head up in fear with such force that two of the tiny rivets pop loose. :o :o :o :o
Hold still ya d@%* bird I'll peen them rivets back down...This why we don't keep them for pets
The reason Delmonico used rivets in building the Franken bird is that if the came loose no problem. If he would has used screws there would have been problems, because the last thing any one would want would be someone in this story having a loose screw. ;D ;D ;D ;D :D :D :D :o :o :o ::) ::) ::) :P :P :P :P :P ;)
<Author's note: I think there are a lot of loose screws in this story.> ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
((Loose screws, nuts without bolts, crayola boxes missing some crayons... Yep, I'd agree there! :D :D :D Of course, Delmonico would have his own special box of odd hardware.)
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on June 09, 2005, 11:05:05 AM
<Author's note: I think there are a lot of loose screws in this story.> ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
<looking> around the room and wonder if I am the one ;D
Quote from: litl rooster on June 09, 2005, 08:10:49 PM
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on June 09, 2005, 11:05:05 AM
<Author's note: I think there are a lot of loose screws in this story.> ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
<looking> around the room and wonder if I am the one ;D
Trust me... Theres more than just one! ;D ;D ;D ;D ::) ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
((As well you would know, oh great and mighty King Trinity!
Whoops, wrong thread. This isn't Trinityland. :P ))
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother sits in her rocker on the porch, working at her crochet. The Frankenbird's been fixed, Delmonico cooked then locked himself in his room with Duke, Slim's getting ready for his journey tomorrow, Daisy and Claire are sleeping nearby... She sighs a small, contented sigh.
Trinity takes two plates of Delmonico's still warm apple pie out to the porch and hands one to the FFG. He takes the other to the hammock where he deftly plops into a comfortable position without losing one speck.
"No matter how good life is, it's better with warm apple pie. Thank you, Trinity."
And indeed, life is better as the Frumpy Fairy Godmother has her pie.
As Delmonico works in the kitchen, it is noticed that he has gotten rid of his strange nightshirt and is wearin' his regular clothin'. However one will notice he keeps his backside as close to the wall as he can. ;D ;D ;D :D :D :D :D :D ::) ::) ::)
Quote from: Delmonico on June 10, 2005, 08:46:46 AM
As Delmonico works in the kitchen, it is noticed that he has gotten rid of his strange nightshirt and is wearin' his regular clothin'. However one will notice he keeps his backside as close to the wall as he can. ;D ;D ;D :D :D :D :D :D ::) ::) ::)
Why are you playing High stakes poker?
Is there a chunk of swiss cheese with that apple pie?
He's 'ffraid of bein' probed!
No cheese, but some ice cream. Mmmmmmmm!
( Litl Rooster sent me this pic of the Frumpy Fairy Godmother. Enjoy! :D)
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! Aint that sweet!!!!!!
Shoot low, they be ridin' Shetland Ponies. ;D ;D
Trinity stands up, brandishes his rooger .44 mag that gophergrease brought from the future and proclaims: "Anyone who fars at her gits a present from me!" >:(
Delmonico gets out his shotgun and fires the right one at Trinity and the left at the FFg on the Shetland Pony. Green spots appear on both of them as they get hit with 00 Rabbit Poop loads :P :P :P ::) ::) ;D :D.
>:( Angered, Trinity lifts his .44, aims it at Delmonico and squeezes the trigger. A LARGE brown spot with tiny bits of hay splats on Del's forehead as Delmonico and Trinity often think alike and have loaded their weapons with similar ammunition! ;D ;D ;D ;)
Delmonico grabs GG's Gatling Gun and opens up on Trinity. Soon only Trinity's hat it seen above a pile of chicken poop. :P :P :P ::) ::) ;D :D
Am confussed didn't they have paint in the 1880's why use up those smart pills from the rabbit hutches?
Annie must be more literate than I am in the magic writin box...
handtub stands ready to squirt the both of ya's bfer ya hit the the house ;D ;D ;D
Trinity stamps back from Still site number two where he has kept a secret weapon for just such occasions. He aims his Civil War cannon at Del and:
KERBLAM!!!!!!
Delmonico is caked to the side of the house with pig poop so fast that he is unable to move. ;D ;D ;D ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother's eyes widen as she is shot, then they narrow into slits. As Delmonico is covered in pig poop, she is pulling out her wand.
*POOF*
Delmonico is attached to the side of the house much like Han Solo was bronzed in Star Wars whatever, but instead of bronze, Delmonico is sealed in pig poop.
Quote from: AnnieLee on June 12, 2005, 08:58:53 PM
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother's eyes widen as she is shot, then they narrow into slits. As Delmonico is covered in pig poop, she is pulling out her wand.
*POOF*
Delmonico is attached to the side of the house much like Han Solo was bronzed in Star Wars whatever, but instead of bronze, Delmonico is sealed in pig poop.
((Author's note)) I think it was Carbon (or was it "carbonite"... I'll have to watch the new DVDs I just bought). ;D ;D ;D
But for our purposes, dried pig doo should be just has firm. ((end note))
Del's arms are positioned as if reaching out for help, his face frozen in a silent scream for mercy. It's probably a similar face to the one he made in the flying plate, but... well, maybe not.
Trinity goes over to Del and using a small drill and careful not to crack the dried poo, he cuts two holes at Del's nostrils so that he can breathe. Later he'll drill another hole at his mouth so that he can feed Del some gelatine through a reed.
Duke wanders over to the pig poop casting, gives it a sniff, starts to raise his leg on it, then gives another sniff. Perplexed, he sits before it and whimpers.
As Trinity is admiring his handiwork at providing Del with a means to get air, an authoritive "WHOOOOMMMPP!" is heard in the distance. As Trinity notices Gophergrease hitting the dirt and FFG floating into the house he thinks to himself, "Now where have I heard that before?"
Slim rides in from the norteast. All he can do is stare at Del plastered to the house. :o :o :o
<Author's note, what Slim or no one else realizes is that all the wings off the chickens they have ate and the ones off Stoney Pete's pheasants, Delmonico has grafted onto cows. ::)>
At the whhooooph noise Slim looks above him and see's a heard of flying cows. To late to run, Slim, his horse, Trinity and his cannon are covered completly with flying cow poop 30 feet deep, This hardens fast in the 100 degree heat, the same heat has caused Delmonico to sweat and his thin layer of pig poop cracks off. ;D
A couple shots in the air send the herd of flying cows far to the west and it makes it safe for Delmonico to catch some grasshoppers and catch some catfish for "HIS" supper. ::)
Miss FFG, HEEEEEEEEELLLLLLP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Delmonico is fryin' catfish, he hollors out the window at Trinity, "Whiner." ;D
Ornery shakes his head in disgust. Them flyin' cows wuz further than he thought. Have to pack a little more powder in Matilda next time. He sure wuz hungry for some steak. :o
Delmonico.... can Slim and me have some fish???
The poor Frumpy Fairy Godmother had been blown head over heels into the parlor, where she lay, rear in the air, feet by her face on the floor. Yes, her rear was covered by her skirt.
Trinity's call brought her out of her daze and she slowly got up, brushing herself off.
Stepping out on the porch to see what is wrong, she is taken aback by the mound of cow poop.
"Fertilizer!" She exclaims, waving her wand. The manure drifts to the garden where it scatters itself evenly over the ground. She turns her attention to Slim and Trinity, shaking her head and tsking. Then a thought occurs to her and she smiles, waving her wand again.
Trinity and Slim are all spiffy and clean. Even Trinity's underwear and hair are clean.
"Much better," she breathes with a grin.
;D ;D ;D Even when though Trinity lacks the grafting abilities that Delmonico has, he always has the FFG. He smiles to himself and sticks his tongue out at Del ( :P ) as he munches on the delectable fried catfish.
Later, he takes his cannon back to another still site to be hidden for use at another time. While at the still he has a sip and peers down at his clean clothes, he feels uneasy. "This calls fer a dip in tha swamp!"
While wading in the rank, murky water, Trinity begins to think of possible subjects for his own grafting trials.
While Trinity is wadin' in the swamp a flock of ducks lands close to him. Trinity poops his shorts when he realizes that them thar mallards have channel catfish heads on them. ;D ;D
"Thankee, ma'am, fer rescueing us from the mound of manure. How'd dem cows grow wings? And, how'd they go that much?" ??? ??? ??? ???
Having been in the parlor with her heels over her head at the time of the attack of the flying diruretic cows, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother simply gives Slim a puzzled look.
"Cows don't have wings."
Delmonico saddles his mule with out sayin' a word and heads down river to Dunning. ???
After a long trip up in the Black Hills, Gopher Grease returns to the ranch. Bringing 40 mules and 8 wagons loaded with 20 Gal. Oak barrels, he can be heard calling for Trinity.
After parking the wagons and tending to the mules, its off to the kitchen.
Right after dark, Delmonico comes back, puts his mule in the barn and goes into his office. ???
Trinity comes running into the ranchyard. He's running a little funny, kind of a fast waddle actually. He appears to be experiencing some discomfort.
Hearing her friend return home, Claire trots up to him happily wagging her tail until she reaches him. When she reaches Trinity she smells the air, wimpers, tucks her tail and with a yelp, runs back to the house.
In no time at all GG has the house smelling of tatters rousting, fresh Bratwursts frying, onions and green peppers simmering together. A sweeter smell comes from the oven.
As supper is set on the table, GG turns to Trinity and asks how long he thinks it will take to fill the 80 barrels with 'recipe'.
Drooling and staring over at the stove with a glassy eyed fixation, Trinity mumbles a reply: "...'bout two hars..."
Meanwhile, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother is watching Trinity and Claire's continuing shying away from him.
"Trinity, you didn't graft a part of a polecat on you in some weird attempt to impress the wagon ladies, did you?"
Always happy to see GopherGrease, she smiles to him and blows him a smooch.
Seeing FFg GG runs grabs her in a huge hug, and wispers " I dont smell like Trinity, no need to hold your distance"
"Naw, Miss FFG. One of dem cree-ations of Dail's done skeert the pooop outta me. Ah hain' had no tahm ta clain up"
(laying the accent on thick!)
Gleefully hugging GopherGrease, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother gives a twitch to her wand and Trinity's poop is transformed into giant cabbages.
"Best change."
All of the sudden, Trinity's pants become very tight... and not like usual when he nears the waggon. He excuses himself and walks stiffly out the door.
"ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!"
Delmonico is lookin' through his peep hole to see whats goin' on. He decides if GG is makin' coleslaw for supper he will pass on it. :P :P ;)
Slim follows the smell of food and strolls into the kitchen. "Gopher Grease, it's been a while. Glad to have ya back with us. The grub smells purdy fine." :)
Is there Catfish and Cornbread to go with the Cole Slaw????
Trinity enters the kitchen wearing a potato sack for pants. "Dem derned cabbages tore mah pants ta shreds! Ah was lucky ta git outta here when Ah did! Them cabbages kept growin' an' multiplyin'!" :o :o
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother makes a face and mumbles.
"There must've been bunny poop in that mix for that to happen."
"Welp, Ah guess that sin' gophergrease done lef' an the food burnt up, Ahm goin' to open a can of potted meat off of Delmonico's storage shed out yonder. It's in need of a winder anyhow."
Trinity goes outside and removes four tins from the middle of the south wall. Returning to the kitchen, he takes down a loaf of very soft, white bread. Something that Delmonico would no doubt hate to see in the house. He opens one tin and spreads the contents on several slices of bread and aranges them neatly on a platter. Next, he slices some of Slim's Velveeta and fries up a couple cheese sandwiches and places these on a second platter. Finished "cooking", he calls his pards into the kitchen for dinner.
"Ah done did the cookin' tonight y'all! C'mon!"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother opens her door a smidge to take a sniff of the air coming up from the kitchen. Her door SLAMS shut.
"Thank you, Trinity, but.. uh.. I am indisposed."
Trinity sits alone at the table and has a bright idea. He combines puts one of the fried velveeta cheese sandwiches between two potted meat bread slices and eats... alone.
Trinity fiinishes eating and looks up then around. Still alone. He dumps his plate in the sink and goes out to the porch to lay in the hammock for a while.
Delmonico comes out of his office and opens windows and burns incense to cover up the smell of Velveeta cheese and potted meat product. :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P
Quote from: Delmonico on June 19, 2005, 04:48:34 PM
Delmonico comes out of his office and opens windows and burns incense to cover up the smell of Velveeta cheese and potted meat product. :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P
Could you say that he is ....
incensed?? ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Sorry, couldn't resist!
;D taking a wiff of the kitchen and thinking to myself glad I was late for dinner :o
When the coast is clear, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother tiptoes downstairs. She sneaks a snack of the good cheese from the icebox then takes some coffee and her yarn out on the porch.
"Evening, Trinity."
Trinity mumbles something incoherent and adjusts his position in the hammock. He's fast asleep.
Slim rides up to the ranch house. "Howdy y'all. Sure glad I weren't here this weekend. It smells like ya had potted meat and fake cheese. My saddle bags are filled with real cheese." ;D He takes the saddle bags off his horse and walks up the steps to the porch.
Stoney rides back to the Ranch and right past the FFG and Slim talking about cheese. He sees Trinity occupying his usual positon of passedout. From the smell eminating from the house Stoney decides to mind his business and refuse any offers of food.
After tending to his horse he checks on his pigs. Surprisingly they're still there and none the worse for ware.
Without saying a word he walks on the porch, pops Trinity's cork and down's a swig, then replaces the jug in Trinity's arms. Holding his breath he walks through the kitchen and upstairs to his room. The pink and frilly's are still there. ::)
Stoney lays on the bed and is asleep within seconds of hitting the pillow.
"Was that Stoney that just went in the house? Wonder where he's been?"
After a brief nap, Stoney gets up and removes three gifts from his saddle bags and walks back out on the porch.
He hands a package to Slim, the FFG, and to Trinity. I picked these up in town. It's my way of thanking you for being so nice to me when I first arrived.
FFG opened hers first. Inside she found a new holster for her wand.
Then Slim who found an 8" Bowie with stag handle.
Trinity sat up long enough open his. 15 lbs. of jerked beef.
Stoney awaits their response.
"Wow! Stoney, this is sooooooooooooooooooooo unexpected. Thankee very much. I don't have anything ta give ya. Wait, I do. Ya want some genuwine Wiscooooooooooooooonsin cheese?" ;D ;D ;D
(Tried posting three different times and kept getting interrupted by verk. UGH!)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother releases Slim from her death grip hug to embrace Pete in one just like it.
"I'm so glad you are back, I was getting worried....Oh, look! A present!"
(Author's note: Yep, I like presents almost as much as the Frumpy Fairy Godmother does...)
"It's so beautiful, Pete, and look, the inside is lined so I can QuickDraw!"
She flicks out her wand so fast it nearly whips through the air, leaving a scattering of glittering sawdust on Trinity's prone body. She reholsters, then whips it out again and this time, along with the sawdust, a spark flies from the end of it. "Nice!"
Unknown to everyone there, the spark flips into Pete's room, changing all the pinks to neutral earth tones.
Trinity looks at the jerkey handed him. "Why, Ah don' know what to say! You done give me mah fav-o-ryte thang 'sides bacon. Thankee much ole pard!"
With that he begins to chew, and chew, and chew...
(http://www.brisket.net/custom/photos/beef-jerkey.jpg)
Trinity gets a knife and whacks off a hunk of cheese. ;D
<Yes I said it, Trinity cut the cheese.> ;D
Trinty how bout sharin the Jalpeno's
Be carefull lil rooster, them peppers look to thin ta be Hal-a-pee-nose, they look like Serrenos to me and a bit on the hotter side. :o :o
Quote from: Delmonico on June 20, 2005, 07:52:50 PM
Be carefull lil rooster, them peppers look to thin ta be Hal-a-pee-nose, they look like Serrenos to me and a bit on the hotter side. :o :o
Not too worry Del......I've got milk! Habenero's Jalpeno's Serreno's no problemo
"Hep yosef litl rooster. Them peppers never walked, an' Ah don' eat nothin' that din't never walk or breathe." ;D ;D ;D
Stuffs another strip into his mouth.
We have "Fish" peppers getting ready to bloom in the garden. They're supposed to be hot, anyone ever heard of them?
Quote from: litl rooster on June 20, 2005, 08:14:09 PM
Quote from: Delmonico on June 20, 2005, 07:52:50 PM
Be carefull lil rooster, them peppers look to thin ta be Hal-a-pee-nose, they look like Serrenos to me and a bit on the hotter side. :o :o
Not too worry Del......I've got milk! Habenero's Jalpeno's Serreno's no problemo
"Don't be drinkin' it directly from the cow like Del does." ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on June 21, 2005, 11:38:22 AM
Quote from: litl rooster on June 20, 2005, 08:14:09 PM
Quote from: Delmonico on June 20, 2005, 07:52:50 PM
Be carefull lil rooster, them peppers look to thin ta be Hal-a-pee-nose, they look like Serrenos to me and a bit on the hotter side. :o :o
Not too worry Del......I've got milk! Habenero's Jalpeno's Serreno's no problemo
"Don't be drinkin' it directly from the cow like Del does." ;D ;D ;D
:o :o :o
Quote from: AnnieLee on June 20, 2005, 10:02:39 PM
We have "Fish" peppers getting ready to bloom in the garden. They're supposed to be hot, anyone ever heard of them?
No never heard of them, maybe Del could enlighten us.
Slim there is other ways of drinking Milk?[
Quote from: Trinity on June 20, 2005, 08:31:56 PM
"Hep yosef litl rooster. Them peppers never walked, an' Ah don' eat nothin' that din't never walk or breathe." ;D ;D ;D
Stuffs another strip into his mouth.
Apparently ya don't need any seasonings on your food... ;D ;D ;D ;D
dem peppers is good for your heart and blood and it's what makes me so mean ;D
Quote from: litl rooster on June 21, 2005, 07:11:02 PMQuote from: Trinity on June 20, 2005, 08:31:56 PM
"Hep yosef litl rooster. Them peppers never walked, an' Ah don' eat nothin' that din't never walk or breathe." ;D ;D ;D
Stuffs another strip into his mouth.
Apparently ya don't need any seasonings on your food... ;D ;D ;D ;D
dem peppers is good for your heart and blood and it's what makes me so mean ;D
...and you is a mean one! All that tryin' ta take my rulership away ain' ver' nice!" (http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/sad/15.gif)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother sets down her knitting to give Trinity a perplexed look. "Ruler of what?"
Quote from: AnnieLee on June 21, 2005, 07:43:39 PM
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother sets down her knitting to give Trinity a perplexed look. "Ruler of what?"
Trinity, wanting to retain some assemblance of manliness, wipes his eyes and tells the FFG about litl rooster's dastardly deeds over at "A true made up tale of the west..."
"...an all Ah was tryin' ta do was hep the young kid out!" <SIGH>
She shakes her head and picks up her knitting once more.
"You boys never could share. I don't know why you just don't form a partnership and stop sniping at each other's backs."
"It's all Delmonico's fault! He skeert the kid away an' Ah wanted ta take the thread back over. Then YOOOUUUU give me a flag an' litl rooster started calling me sire which swailed mah haid. It all went downhill from there.
The knitting is dropped again.
"A flag? What in tarnation are you talking about, Trinity, I've never given you a flag!"
(( <Coughs> That was me. She doesn't know I exist, remember? She thinks she's REAL! :D A.L. ))
Trinity instantly recognizes his err and quickly clears his throat and swallows a large gulp of "Recipe". Then he beings to slur: "Why ssssshure you drid! 'Member?" and pretended as though he had the hickups *hic* *hic* *hic*.
He was sure that his award winning performance was going to make the FFG think he was drunk out of his gourd and dismiss his prior comments.
His performance earns him a poke with a knitting needle.
"You weren't slurring thirty seconds ago, Trinity. What flag??"
Trinity has been drinking in earnest now to escape the wrath of the FFG and has in the meantime become incoherent. "Ah zha ffazzz zzzrrragrapl rrazzzhh!"
She stops poking him.
"Dern it, Trinity, yer imagining things again. Delmonico gave you the silver solder, when are you going to use it?"
Delmonico comes out of his office and out to the porch. "What do you mean I skeered the kid away, I just looked and he's loggen in right now. ;D If'n a really skeered him da ya think he'd log in, he's just been busy, chasin' that gerl of his'n. ;D ;D ;D Sides that you dissapered for quit a while and we thought I's skeered you away." ;D ;D ;D
Slim walks out on the porch on his way to milch the cow and check fer eggs. "Did y'all schlopp Stoney's hawgs yet?"
Stoney took care of them himself, he's showed back up. ;D ;D ;D ;D By the way have you seen my bottle of castor oil Slim, ya noticed he didn't bring me no present. Must a forgot I was here, so I'll make him remember. :D ;D :D ;D I haven't seen it since I slipped him that big dose yesterday. :o :o Fact is I ain't seen him and he's not in the Wedgewood throne room. ::)
"Nope, I haven't seen the castor oil. Wonder where Stoney is hidin'?"
Well with the big dose I slipped him yesterday ya might check the outhouse. ;D ;D I hope that poor back-easterner ain't out on the prairie lookin' fer a tree to poop behind. He'll have a long miserble ride. ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: AnnieLee on June 21, 2005, 09:51:07 PM
She stops poking him.
"Dern it, Trinity, yer imagining things again. Delmonico gave you the silver solder, when are you going to use it?"
Trinity points over at his saddle which has been decorated with the entire spool of silver solder material.
....It's flashier than the one the electric horseman had, and this one doesn't even have ee-lectricity.
Trinity wakes up slightly hungover, but finally sober. He looks around and cannot find anyone. He finds some of the FFG's coffee on the stove which had long since been extinguished. The coffee is cold, thick and very black. He drops himself a cupful and swallows the sludge.
Perplexed why he can find no one around, he suddenly remembers hearing something about the FFG going off to Maryland to try out the new wand holster that Stoney gave her. (He had declined travelling with her because to him that was just too far nawth.) He wondered if the rest of the crew went with her.
Quote from: Trinity on June 24, 2005, 08:38:00 PM
Trinity wakes up slightly hungover, but finally sober. He looks around and cannot find anyone. He finds some of the FFG's coffee on the stove which had long since been extinguished. The coffee is cold, thick and very black. He drops himself a cupful and swallows the sludge.
Perplexed why he can find no one around, he suddenly remembers hearing something about the FFG going off to Maryland to try out the new wand holster that Stoney gave her. (He had declined travelling with her because to him that was just too far nawth.) He wondered if the rest of the crew went with her.
Nope didn't make it :(
whipeperin to Trinity,.....It's ok Trinty, you can come up nawth to Virginny, even Mary land, without becomin' a Yankee. There's some of us all the ways up to the Great lakes pard
What's so great about them? ??? ??? ???
;D ;D
Quote from: Trinity on June 26, 2005, 05:04:12 PM
What's so great about them? ??? ??? ???
;D ;D
::)
Called that, Because Very Big Lakes didn't have a ring to it. ;D ;D :D
"Pssshht! They kain' be no larger than our lakes in Newbrassky! Silly. ;D ;D"
Slim rides in with his saddle bags filled with cheese. "Is anyone 'round?" ???
****POOF*****
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother reappears with a sprinkling of glittering sawdust. She looks relaxed and happy.
"I won the "turn a jerk into a toad" contest with my new wand holster, Slim!"
She gleefully gives him a hug. She likes to hug Slim. Don't ask the author why.
"Thanks fer the hug, ma'am. What is the 'turn a jerk into a toad' contest?" ???
"It's a quick draw contest, Slim. First you have to be able to pick out which are innocents and which are the true jerks, then you draw your wand and zap them. The trick is that if you change an innocent, he or she will become a five inch amphibian (ten second penalty). If you get a real jerk, there's no change in appearance, they just start saying "ribbet."
She smiles and helps to put away the cheese.
;D ;D ;D ;D
"That sounds like an interesting game."
"Thanks fer helpin' with the cheese. I think we'll have ta make supper since Del and Gopher Grease don't seem to be about." ::)
Delmonico sticks his head out of his office, "I've been here workin' all day, 'cept fer my 20 minute nap. And no I don't have time to make supper." ;D ;D
Trinity comes in from the porch and notices the new wear marks on the FFG's holster. "Shoot, Miss FFG, you look lahk a first class grade A wandslinger!" ;D ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother's cheeks turn pink and she digs her toes into the porch.
Well, I had an advantage. A couple of the "wonder wanders" got a lot of negative points for attempting to turn the same guy into a toad over and over again. Odd.... he looked a lot like Delmonico!"
Trinity looks left and right: "Ah woulda done tha same darn' thang!"
"Since Del ain't gonna make supper, I'll put some bread and cheese on the table, but no whine." ;D ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on June 22, 2005, 09:48:19 AM
Stoney took care of them himself, he's showed back up. ;D ;D ;D ;D By the way have you seen my bottle of castor oil Slim, ya noticed he didn't bring me no present. Must a forgot I was here, so I'll make him remember. :D ;D :D ;D I haven't seen it since I slipped him that big dose yesterday. :o :o Fact is I ain't seen him and he's not in the Wedgewood throne room. ::)
Stoney come outta his room. The lines on his face clearly showed that he'd been sleeping in his newly decorated room. He goes over and kisses the FFG on her cheek. "I know'd that was you doing. Thanks!"
"As for you Del I did not forget you. I bought present for them what wuz nice to me when I arrive. Start being nice and I'll remember you too next time I'm in town. BTW, slipping me castor oil won't do you a bit a good. Mamma used to make be drink the stuff when I was bad. Drank so much I've grown a tolerance for it. Don't know if I'll ever grow to like it, but it don't bother me none."
"Slim, let's take that knew knife down and get one of them pigs ready for the smoke house. We're running low on bacon."
At the sound of the word "bacon" Trinity sat bolt upright and without any slured words said, "Did I hear bacon?"
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on June 28, 2005, 09:11:40 AM
"Since Del ain't gonna make supper, I'll put some bread and cheese on the table, but no whine." ;D ;D ;D ;D
We don't need whine, we got squeezins. I guess we can dress out the pig after supper.
"Stoney, I'm ready when you are to try out the new pig sticker." ;D
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on June 28, 2005, 10:00:33 AM
"Stoney, I'm ready when you are to try out the new pig sticker." ;D
"I suppose I'll go down to the Dismal and beat the clothes and bedding against a rock. I peeked into Trinity's room and his bed was moving all by itself. "
Quote from: AnnieLee on June 28, 2005, 10:21:33 AM
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on June 28, 2005, 10:00:33 AM
"Stoney, I'm ready when you are to try out the new pig sticker." ;D
"I suppose I'll go down to the Dismal and beat the clothes and bedding against a rock. I peeked into Trinity's room and his bed was moving all by itself. "
Slim shutters at the thought of Trinity's bed.
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on June 28, 2005, 10:00:33 AM
"Stoney, I'm ready when you are to try out the new pig sticker." ;D
Stoney and Pete went down and dressed out the large male. All said the new knife performed flawlessly and they had 90 lbs of chops, pork loin and bacon.
"Well there's Trinity's portion. Let's get the other male for the rest of us."
Slim drews the knife and moved toward the animal.
"STOP", yelled Stoney. " I was joking. That one can live for at least another week."
Meanwhile, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother slowly gets into her chemical/biological warfare suit, starts the respirator and heads to Trinity's room with a giant pair of tongs.
Duke, Daisy and Claire all jump up and start barking at the sight of her.
Undaunted, she enters the room and with an extended arm and the tongs, picks up Trinity's bedding and chucks it out the window. Closing the door to keep the dogs out and safe, she fumigates the mattress. There's a pause, then she fumigates his closet.
Another pause and she fumigates his shoes and pillows.
Another pause, then a sigh worthy of Darth Vader, and she just sprays down the entire room.
The dogs restart their barking as she journeys downstairs and outside, dragging the bed clothes behind her with the tongs.
Delmonico hollers: "Suppers ready, sausage gravy, biscuits and mince meat pie fer dessert. ;D ;D ;D The FFg got some mince meat somewhere." ::) ::) ::) ::) ;)
"Slim is in charge of the dishes, I'm gonna ride to Valentine after it cools off this evening." ??? ??? "
Stoney Pete is in charge of breakfast in the morning." :D :D :D
Trinity runs down the steps upon hearing Delmonico's call. He is ashen white and smells of chemicals when he arives in the kitchen. In a loud whisper, that of someone that has lost his voice, Trinity says: "Anyone know what in tarnation happent in ma room? Ah wen' fer a nap a few hours ago an Ah kin hardly talk no more!"
His bleeding throat is forgotten when he sees the pork that Stoney and Slim had cut for him earlier! "After bacon, the loin is mah fav-o-ryte part!!!!!" ;D ;D ;D
GG stumble from behind the barn, with a dazed look. Sorry all, ran out of coal oil and tried useing some of Trinity's juice. Well the dam putter went into melt down.
Welcome back GG!!!! Be careful 'bout usin' mah recipe near fahr. 'Member the Flambé?? She burnt fer several pages. ;D ;D ;D
Becuse I missed you all so much. I've come up with a new cake for you.
Carmel apple cake
Has fresh sliced apples and milk carmel on the bottom
Litely sweet white cake, after a crust forms on top more carmel is pour on and baked in
Having been assign break fast by Del. Stoney gets some bacon going first. LOT's of it. He puts on a pot of coffee, set the biscuts in the oven. While that's going he whips up 12 dozen eggs.
When all was ready he sreams
FOOD IS HOT! COME AND GET IT!
[/color]
Stoney puts plenty of bacon on Slim, Del and the FFG's plate. Having heard GG was here he set's and extra place for him and put bacon there too. Then he places the serving platter at Trinity's place.
Stoney sit down to eat hopping he did not forget anybody.
With Trinity safely out of his room, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother sneaks back in to make his bed with fresh linen. While she is there, she opens his window to air out the room, then takes a broom with a LARGE dust pan to sweep up all the dead bugs and critters and such.
Heading back downstairs, she greets Stoney Pete with a smile and a kiss to his cheek.
"Some milk might help Trinity's throat, but I doubt he'll drink any of it."
"Stoney, where'd ya get a gross of eggs? I didn't think dem hens was laying that much."
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on June 29, 2005, 09:31:21 AM
"Stoney, where'd ya get a gross of eggs? I didn't think dem hens was laying that much."
Are you calling my eggs gross ???
BTW it's only 24 not 144.
Stoney (who would never go back and edit his post) Pete
<Author's Note: Stoney Pete set a plate for Delmonico, forgettin' the reason he was makin' breakfast was because Delmonico decided to ride to Valentine in the cool of the evening.>
Realizin' that he is not going to make it to Valentine before it gets hot, Delmonico makes a slight turn to the west and reaches the Snake River where it turns to the north about down. About time the morning gets hot Delmonico sets up camp in a canyon where it is cooler and there is shade from trees. Also there is a bee-you-tea-full waterfall. ;D ;)
Delmonico makes a quick lunch and finds a cool place to sleep near the mist from the waterful. ::)
Just as Delmonico nods off, there is a low rumbling in the distance that grows into a loud mechanical growl, then a translucent man in a red white and blue outfit, sitting on a silver metal beast comes crashing across the Snake river into the dirt. As the dust settles, the ghost of a man rises, looks at Delmonico, then takes off his helmet.
"Dang. Missed again."
Remembering that Del left last night, Stoney takes the bacon off his plate and eats it his ownself. ;D ::)
Duke, Daisy and Claire put their paws on the table and snarf up Trinity's bacon before the Frumpy Fairy Godmother can stop them.
Quote from: stoneypete on June 29, 2005, 05:00:26 AM
Having been assign break fast by Del. Stoney gets some bacon going first. LOT's of it. He puts on a pot of coffee, set the biscuts in the oven. While that's going he whips up 12 dozen eggs.
When all was ready he sreams
FOOD IS HOT! COME AND GET IT!
[/color]
Stoney puts plenty of bacon on Slim, Del and the FFG's plate. Having heard GG was here he set's and extra place for him and put bacon there too. Then he places the serving platter at Trinity's place.
Stoney sit down to eat hopping he did not forget anybody.
See it says "12 dozen eggs". <whisper on> The benefits of being a mod. ;D ;D <whisper off>
Early in the evening Delmonico wakes up, and heads out. he notices that it has cooed off some. As he comes out of the canyon he can see lightning and hears thunder. :o :o :o :o He gets to going, it's still miles away up on the Lakota Reservation in Dakota Territory, but a prairie thunderstorm can be wild and they move fast. ::) ::)
Quote from: AnnieLee on June 29, 2005, 03:28:28 PM
Duke, Daisy and Claire put their paws on the table and snarf up Trinity's bacon before the Frumpy Fairy Godmother can stop them.
:o :-[ :'( Trinity arrives just in time to watch downtrodden as the dogs eat every last morsel of his breakfast! He tries to scream in protest, but his throat is now bleeding profusely and it is just too painful. He slumps in his chair and droops his head.
A chunk of his hair falls out onto the plate.
Delmonico notices that the storm has moved noth of him and will be through Valentine before he gets ther. ;D
<Authors note: It was a dark and stormy night, ;D I was at work, it was slow so I watched the storms on radar. ;D>
Delmonicoides on toward Valentine at a fairly fast pace. He hopes to get there and get the casket for Trinity and get back soon. If he dies too soon with out embalming he will deterorate fast in the heat. Even storing him in the cellar might not be enough. ::) ::) Besides that it will stink up the cellar.
Delmonico really has a soft heart, he would hate to see Trinity just tossed in the hole and buried, or worse being buried in his blankets. :P
Wait, Slim could put the body in a barrel and cover him with Trinity's recipe, that will embalm him so he can have a decent burying. ;D ;D :D ;)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gets up from her chair (having eaten all her breakfast) and moves to Trinity.
"Oh, Trinity, you look awful! Here, have some warm milk with honey in it. I made it just for you. While you drink that, I'll cook up some more bacon for you."
With a glare to the dogs, who smile back at her, she starts to make new bacon.
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on June 29, 2005, 04:12:45 PM
Quote from: stoneypete on June 29, 2005, 05:00:26 AM
Having been assign break fast by Del. Stoney gets some bacon going first. LOT's of it. He puts on a pot of coffee, set the biscuts in the oven. While that's going he whips up 12 dozen eggs.
When all was ready he sreams
FOOD IS HOT! COME AND GET IT!
[/color]
Stoney puts plenty of bacon on Slim, Del and the FFG's plate. Having heard GG was here he set's and extra place for him and put bacon there too. Then he places the serving platter at Trinity's place.
Stoney sit down to eat hopping he did not forget anybody.
See it says "12 dozen eggs". <whisper on> The benefits of being a mod. ;D ;D <whisper off>
Author's note: Clearly an abuse of power. ;) ;D Mom, Slim'S cheating better than me again.
Now back to the story.
It musta been them flying dinner plates what snatche folks a while back. It scare the fecal matter outta some and just scared the eggs outta these birds. I found everyone of them the morning I cooked 'em. HONEST ;D
Stoney leans over to Trinity and hands him his jug. "For medicinal purposes. This will numb your throat and help you enjoy your bacon more. Besides, if you drink it before you eat, the "benefits" will take to your system faster cause there's no food in the way." ;D
Delmonico looks up the the coffin maker/carpenter in Valentine. ;D He gives him Trinity's measurements. ;D ;) Looking over the supply of wood, Delmonico decides pine is just to cheap, so he decides on Red Cedar for Trinity. ;D ;D
The carpenter/coffin maker promises it Saterday morning. :o Delmonico goes to the telly-grapf office and sends one to Dunning to be delivered to Slim at the ranch tellling him if Trinity dies before he's back with the coffin, just to put him in a barrel and cover him with his own moonshine. ::) ::) :o :o :P
Delmonico looks for a place to eat. :D
With the new day, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother heads out to milch the cows and gather eggs. She hopes Trinity isn't as resistant to cures as Delmonico was. Delmonico was a real pain in the neck, and she doesn't want Trinity to up and die.
Wanderin' round Valentine Delmonico goes into a drugstore to see if he can find something to cure Trinity in case he is still alive when Delmonico gets back to the ranch. ::) He tells the druggest about Trinity's ills and if he knows something to cure the poor sick fella. ::)
The clerk says he has just the thing to cure Trinity. He goes to the back room and brings out a pasteboard box and lays it on the counter. ??? He then finds a can of some powder,"dissolve 3 tablespoons of this in clean water. Then put it in this bag and insert the noozle in his--------------?"
"Now hold the bag above him and fill him up." :o :o :o :o :o :o ::) ::) :P :P :P :P :P :P :P
Delmonico buys the stuff and decides this is a job for Slim. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: stoneypete on June 30, 2005, 04:26:20 AM
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on June 29, 2005, 04:12:45 PM
Quote from: stoneypete on June 29, 2005, 05:00:26 AM
Having been assign break fast by Del. Stoney gets some bacon going first. LOT's of it. He puts on a pot of coffee, set the biscuts in the oven. While that's going he whips up 12 dozen eggs.
When all was ready he sreams
FOOD IS HOT! COME AND GET IT!
[/color]
Stoney puts plenty of bacon on Slim, Del and the FFG's plate. Having heard GG was here he set's and extra place for him and put bacon there too. Then he places the serving platter at Trinity's place.
Stoney sit down to eat hopping he did not forget anybody.
See it says "12 dozen eggs". <whisper on> The benefits of being a mod. ;D ;D <whisper off>
Author's note: Clearly an abuse of power. ;) ;D Mom, Slim'S cheating better than me again.
Now back to the story.
It musta been them flying dinner plates what snatche folks a while back. It scare the fecal matter outta some and just scared the eggs outta these birds. I found everyone of them the morning I cooked 'em. HONEST ;D
<Author's note: T'ain't no abuse of power. Just setting things straight.> ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on June 30, 2005, 03:02:25 PM
Wanderin' round Valentine Delmonico goes into a drugstore to see if he can find something to cure Trinity in case he is still alive when Delmonico gets back to the ranch. ::) He tells the druggest about Trinity's ills and if he knows something to cure the poor sick fella. ::)
The clerk says he has just the thing to cure Trinity. He goes to the back room and brings out a pasteboard box and lays it on the counter. ??? He then finds a can of some powder,"dissolve 3 tablespoons of this in clean water. Then put it in this bag and insert the noozle in his--------------?"
"Now hold the bag above him and fill him up." :o :o :o :o :o :o ::) ::) :P :P :P :P :P :P :P
Delmonico buys the stuff and decides this is a job for Slim. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
"I ain't givin' no enemas!" >:(
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on June 30, 2005, 03:06:51 PM
<Author's note: T'ain't no abuse of power. Just setting things straight.> ;D
Name one thing one this thread that is strait and proper and I'll accept your version. ;) ;D ::)
Quote from: stoneypete on June 30, 2005, 03:12:34 PM
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on June 30, 2005, 03:06:51 PM
<Author's note: T'ain't no abuse of power. Just setting things straight.> ;D
Name one thing one this thread that is strait and proper and I'll accept your version. ;) ;D ::)
Ya gots me there. ;D ;D ;D
Slim
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on June 30, 2005, 03:15:09 PM
Quote from: stoneypete on June 30, 2005, 03:12:34 PM
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on June 30, 2005, 03:06:51 PM
<Author's note: T'ain't no abuse of power. Just setting things straight.> ;D
Name one thing one this thread that is strait and proper and I'll accept your version. ;) ;D ::)
Ya gots me there. ;D ;D ;D
Slim
Authors note. It's better with the aliens causing 144 eggs in one day. it fits the story better.
Quote from: stoneypete on June 30, 2005, 03:24:11 PM
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on June 30, 2005, 03:15:09 PM
Quote from: stoneypete on June 30, 2005, 03:12:34 PM
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on June 30, 2005, 03:06:51 PM
<Author's note: T'ain't no abuse of power. Just setting things straight.> ;D
Name one thing one this thread that is strait and proper and I'll accept your version. ;) ;D ::)
Ya gots me there. ;D ;D ;D
Slim
Authors note. It's better with the aliens causing 144 eggs in one day. it fits the story better.
<Arthur's note: That's fer sure.> ;D
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on June 30, 2005, 03:15:09 PM
Quote from: stoneypete on June 30, 2005, 03:12:34 PM
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on June 30, 2005, 03:06:51 PM
<Author's note: T'ain't no abuse of power. Just setting things straight.> ;D
Name one thing one this thread that is strait and proper and I'll accept your version. ;) ;D ::)
Ya gots me there. ;D ;D ;D
Slim
((Author's sniffle: The Frumpy Fairy Godmother is straight and proper! ))
Quote from: AnnieLee on June 30, 2005, 03:41:12 PM
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on June 30, 2005, 03:15:09 PM
Quote from: stoneypete on June 30, 2005, 03:12:34 PM
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on June 30, 2005, 03:06:51 PM
<Author's note: T'ain't no abuse of power. Just setting things straight.> ;D
Name one thing one this thread that is strait and proper and I'll accept your version. ;) ;D ::)
Ya gots me there. ;D ;D ;D
Slim
((Author's sniffle: The Frumpy Fairy Godmother is straight and proper! ))
Author's note. yes she is. But ain't that true of a Fairy God and Mother?
Dern it missed breakfast again......and Evil Knevil and a funeral
Trinity takes the jug from Stoneypete and lifts it up with half his normal gusto. He immediately spits it out and runs around the table screaming (silently). He repeats this a couple more times until still bleeding throat is finally numb and so is his brain. Several more clumps of hair can be found on the floor around the table where Trinity just ran. He is beginning to look bad. His skin is still colorless with the exception of the lesions which have formed. They are bright pink around the edges and filled with pus.
Trinity is still unaware of what is happening to him and that the FFG used deadly poisons to kill off all of his 'friends'.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother pulls her wand. "He needs a bath. I was in the room when I fumigated it and we have to get that stuff off him!"
With a wisk of the wand, Trinity is floating toward the tub as the water starts to fill it.
Stoney looks on in horror. He not sure what is worse, the pain, the hair loss or the BATH. :o ;) ;D
Quote from: litl rooster on June 30, 2005, 07:29:54 PM
Dern it missed breakfast again......and Evil Knevil and a funeral
There's more bacon available and with the 144 eggs I cooked there has got to be more.
As Trinity silently screams, he is dunked in the bathtub, scrubbed down, clothing and all, doused in baking soda, then rinsed off. As he screams and his mouth is open, the milk and honey are poured into it, causing him to painfully swallow and gag. But at least some of it goes down his throat.
The water drains out of the tub, leaving him standing in it and dripping.
Poor Trinity!
Seeing Trinity standing all wet, wearing nothing but a look of shock and agony. Stoney opens the oven on the stove to let more heat in the room.
Then out of need for fresh air and a change of scenery, he goes to slop the pigs.
Slim comes in from milching the cow and gathering eggs. He put the milk and eggs in the icebox. He pours himself a cup of coffee and eats breakfast. He wonders way there is hair all over the floor. ???
<Authors note, we could hard boil the eggs and see how many "Cool Hand Slim" could eat in an hour.> ;D ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on July 01, 2005, 10:58:35 AM
<Authors note, we could hard boil the eggs and see how many "Cool Hand Slim" could eat in an hour.> ;D ;D ;D ;D
<Arthur's note: That might be fun fer the first 30 minutes. ::)>
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on July 01, 2005, 11:23:10 AM
Quote from: Delmonico on July 01, 2005, 10:58:35 AM
<Authors note, we could hard boil the eggs and see how many "Cool Hand Slim" could eat in an hour.> ;D ;D ;D ;D
<Arthur's note: That might be fun fer the first 30 minutes. ::)>
(If Duke had opposable thumbs, I'd have him light a match after about 60 minutes. :D )
Quote from: AnnieLee on July 01, 2005, 11:32:15 AM
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on July 01, 2005, 11:23:10 AM
Quote from: Delmonico on July 01, 2005, 10:58:35 AM
<Authors note, we could hard boil the eggs and see how many "Cool Hand Slim" could eat in an hour.> ;D ;D ;D ;D
<Arthur's note: That might be fun fer the first 30 minutes. ::)>
(If Duke had opposable thumbs, I'd have him light a match after about 60 minutes. :D )
:o :o :o :o :o
"What we have here is a lack of comunication!" ;D
I think a few days in the box would straighten him out, either that or we could put him out on the road gang. :o
"Keep shakin' that bush Slim, or the man with no eyes will shoot you." :o
While waitin' for the varnish on Red Cedar coffin to dry so he can head home, Delmonico goes shoppin'. In the window of a dry goods store, Delmonico sees a really nice outfit on a maniquin.
It is a nice black wool frock coat, black dress pants, standup collar pin striped shert, 4 in hand black silk tie and a black vest with gold dragons em-broy-der-ed on it. Delmonico goes in and buys it and has it wrapped up. He thinks Trinity would look real fine in it.
Stoneypete's strange expression forces Trinity to take notice of the fact that he is naked. (He has no recollection of the magic beam removing his clothing, but that is the direction that this has gone...)
He quickly covers himself and turning his feet inward, he clamps his knees together. Then he shimmies over to the door and closes it. A quick check in the closed yields a large towel which he uses to cover himself so that he can walk out unabashed. While wrapping the towel around himself, Trinity has a thought about the wagons.
Still in the bathroom, Trinity takes a looks around and finds his old clothes in the corner. As he steps into the pants he tears a hole in the crotch. "No worries" he thinks to himself. They won't be on very long.
He hurredly exits the bathroom and runs into the kitchen to leave before the FFG can do more harm to him... but his throat is feeling a little better, isn't it?
In his mad dash out the through the kitchen, he slips on a clump of hair still on the floor, flying feet first into the air crashing his head against a chair.
Trinity lies motionless on the floor. Next to him is the last clump of hair that had up to now resided on his head, still stuck to it is a pink piece of scalp.
Delmonico picks up the freshly varnished casket in a rented wagon. He stops at the hotel and picks up his packages of the stuff he bought in Valentine. ::)
He knows now that Slim will embalm Trinity in a barrel of moonshine when the time comes so Delmonico decides to make it a 2 day trip and stop at the waterfall this evening. ;D ;)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother knocks over a chair in her haste to get to Trinity. With a trembling hand, she feels his forehead, which is cold and clammy. Biting back her gag reflex, she lowers her face to his.
"He's not breathing."
She lowers her head to his chest.
"I can't hear his heart beating!!"
Sitting back on her heels, she notices the hole in his pants.
"OH MY LANDS, RIGOR MORTIS HAS SET IN! TRINITY'S DEAD!!"
Late in the afternoon Delmonico arrives at the canyon of the Snake River and camps near the cool waterfall. He catches a couple trout for his supper. ;D
As he build the fire, he hopes that someone is smart enough to put Trinity in a barrel of moonshine if he dies before Delmonico gets back to the ranch with the coffin ;) With the heat up in the upper 90's the body will bloat and decay very fast. ;D
With Slim gone and Pete off someplace, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother flails.
"I can't drag him to the river, he's too heavy! And I can't get him in a barrel of his recipe for the same reason. Oh, lands, he's gonna rot in here and stink up the kitchen and Delmonico will have a fit!"
Just then, she gets a tap on her shoulder that startles her into a little squeal. Turning, she sees two massive Bohunks looming over her.
"Came t'see Delmonico," the hairier one mutters, "Bu looks like you need some hep."
With the help of the bohunks, Trinity's body is carried down tothe river and stored near the place where he found the evil magic ring.
Delmonico finishes his supper of trout. ;D He decides that he will take a short nap and then he will head on to the ranch after dark. It will be better on the horses to travel in the cool night. ;D
<Authors note, the strange figure that was here last time has not been seen. He must have found the Snake River that is in Idaho and runs into the Columbia. This Snake River runs into the Niobrara River and has a very beutiful waterfall.
http://michelesworld.net/dmm/waterfal/States/Nebraska/snake3.jpg
Ya didn't know we had them in Newbrassky>
Once again, just as Delmonico starts to doze off, there is the sound of a revving engine, far off in the distance. The sound grows louder, comes closer, then seems to take flight in the air.
The silvery machine with the ghost rider soars over Delmonico's head, then comes to a safe, though skidding landing a short distance away.
Pale hands lift the helmet from the rider's head.
"YEEE HAW!! I did it! I finally cleared the Snake River!"
Delmonico pulls into the ranch and sees the FFg knittin' on the porch. ;D She tells him what has happened to Trinity. :o Delmonico goes down to the river and puts the bloated body in the coffin and packs the body in salt. He says, "It worked for Captian Call and for Charles Goodnight, it'll work for us. He put the coffin in the shed made out of Potted Meat Product, knowing Trinity would want it that way." ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;)
He goes back to the porch,"We'll be able to keep the body now till Tuesday when Stoney Pete and Silver Creek Slim get back, maybe we can send a tellygraph message and some of the others can make it for the funeral." ;D ;D ;D ;D ;)
"We must work on an eppy-taft so we can send to Lincoln and get a headstone." ::) ::) ::)
We need to mix 1qt of Trinity's recipe with a qt of Del's coffe. Pour it into Trinitys mouth, maybe that will revive him. We could also try useing the magneto from a telephone to help with kick start him.
"I've been thinking of an epitath, but haven't come up with anything good. Do you think someone should tell the wagon ladies? They may want to come over for the services. We also have to figure out what to do with the stills. If we want to keep them, we should get the silver off his saddle and remove the lead solder. Did you want to have the viewing in the parlor?"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother sniffles and wipes away a tear.
"Oh, and you might want to invite that Bobby fellow you know to drop back by. He had a nice singing voice."
"What's a magneto?"
I will arrange a day off from terrorizin' them Greenhorns in the other thread, to attend Trinty's funeral. I for one will sure miss him, He makes me laugh. Maybe someone close to him(FFg>>>hint hint) should try Gophergrease's suggestion.
Here lies Trinty,
same today as
he was yesterday.
A magneto is a small generator
Stoney comes back from his walk to find Trinity dead. Scratching his head and wondering how the FFG could tell the difference between one of Trins commas sleeping or death.
"He hit his head, said the FFG."
'But that is the hardest part of his body.' Stoney thinks.
Hearing GG recipe Stoney mixed the brew and poured it down Trinity's throat. Having no magnito and hearing GG say we could "kick start Trinity with it, Stoney kicks Trinity in the side of his head.
Trinity begins to move.
Stoney pours more of the Lixor down his Throat and kicks him again. Trinity startst to breath.
Now he lies in the FFG arms and sleeps.
After replacing the lead solider in the stills, GG returns to the house, hearing that Trinity maybe coming out of a coma he runs to the kitchen. Grabbing a thick steak he fries it, then smothers it with a can of pork-n-beans. He then put the skillet of food near trinity's head.
As Trinity breath in the vapors he begins to groan. Then his sits bolt upright and screems
MY HEAD!
Then he proceeds to run in circles holding the back and front of his head. He pauses as he passes the skillet to take a mouth full of food. Which in turn makes him screem loader cause of his sore throat.
He runs around again. Pauses at the skillet long enought to take another bite.
He screems again.
This goes on for a while.
He's eating. He'll be fine.
Trinity's back. ;D
Slim rides in. Hearing the screaming from the kitchen, he runs in there to find Trinity doing his usual antics. ;D
Delmonico was tired after his trip and has slept for about 48 hours. He gets up and sees Trinity runnin' around and figures someone fixed him. ;D ;D ;D Delmonico then goes in his office and everyone can here typin'. ;D
Well since Trinity is alive and eating. I guess we'd best dress off another of the pigs. He's bound to be real hungry once his throat heals.
After eating and eating and eating, Trinity belches and pauses. As he stands near the Frumpy Fairy Godmother, he gets a glazed look to his eyes and grins. The Frumpy Fairy Godmother drops her gaze to see she's looking at the hole in his trousers. With a delecate cough, she looks away. Trinity's smile grows, then he bolts out of the house, running for the barn.
Five minutes later Trinity is on a horse and heading out.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gives a small sigh.
"He's off to those wagons, again. Could've waited until he healed. With his head like that, those ladies might think he's been scalped or has the pox or something. "
Seeing Trinity ride off, Pete knew he had enough time to smoke the bacon proper. All said now Pete was confident they had enought to last quite a while. Even with Trinity eating enough for three.
"Them ladies wouldn'd worry about Trinity lookin' like he had a pox, they'd just think they gave it to him." ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
"Looks like we'll have to drag out the mercury compond and the syringe again."
Quote from: Delmonico on July 06, 2005, 01:24:41 PM
"Them ladies wouldn'd worry about Trinity lookin' like he had a pox, they'd just think they gave it to him." ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
"Looks like we'll have to drag out the mercury compond and the syringe again."
;D ;D ;D ;D
"Who wants chicken fer supper? It's time ta butcher the hens. They haven't laid since they laid the gross of eggs. Besides, the pullets are almost old enough to start layin'."
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother raises a calloused hand. "Me, please!"
"Alright then. Let's go do it." Slim grabs the the hatchet and paring knife. He heads toward the coop.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother hangs the big kettle/cauldron over the firepit, then fills the cauldron with water. She gets the fire going, then puts on a clean apron to go help Slim with the chickens.
Suddenly a wagon pulls into the ranch with lumber and glass plates. "Here ya go Miss FFg, glass plates and lumber for a greenhouse. Since Trinity don't want that nice coffin I got him, you can use it to grow orchids in." ;D ;D ;D
<Authors note: Growin' orchids in a greenhouse in the late 19th century was a fancy high falutin' thing to do.> ;D
Stoney sees Slim headed to the coup with the hatchet and the FFG putting on water to boil. Well, I'm already bloody from the pig. May as well help with the chickens.
As he walks to the barn he see Del pull up with the wood and glass plates. Looks like we'll have us a construction project in the morning.
<Authors note, The FFgis the carpentor around here I drive nails with my ball peen. If I can't weld it together I don't build it..> ;D
When the Frumpy Fairy Godmother sees the wood and glass, she is shocked into silence. Could it possibly be that grumpy old pain in the neck, castor oil pushing, Delmonico is being nice to her? As the tear forms in the corner of her eye, she swoops Delmonico up in a big hug and kisses his cheek.
"Now that all the huggin' and kissin' is o'er, let's kill some birds." ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother sets Delmonico down, swipes at her tear and grins at Slim.
"Ok!"
Slim starts chasin' chickens around the yard. After 15 minutes without catchin' one, he says, "There's got to be an easier way of catchin' these." :(
"Maybe the dogs could herd them into a pen?"
"That's a great idea. Don't know why I didn't think of that 15 minutes ago." ::)
Duke, Daisy, and Claire stand outside the fence, grinning. It's pretty obvious that they could have helped, but were enjoying watching Slim and the Frumpy Fairy Godmother run around in circles.
Delmonico comes out on the porch with his Remmy #4 roller and a box of 22 Shorts. with in a few minutes all the chickens are layin' dead, a 29 grain bullet right a 'tween the eyes of each, includin' one of Slim's pullets. ;D ;D ;D ;D
Delmonico says, "When you dress out that pullet we'll just fry it 'cause it will be nice and tender."
He then runs a few wet patches down the bore, dries it and oils it. He then goes back to his office. ;D
"Well, that was easy. But, not quite as fun as watchin' 'em dance around without their heads." Slim and the FFg commence to guttin' and pluckin'.
With out a word Delmonico tosses a long stick with a piece of 8 gauge wire attached to the end. The heavy wire is shaped in a V. ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother pouts.
"Leave it to Delmonico to take a time honored tradition of watching headless chickens run around, then plucking all the feathers off and making it," she pauses to make a face, "efficient."
"Well next time use the chicken catcher to catch the, then you can remove the heads however you want!" ;D ;D ;D ;D
"Myself I see far to many folks runnin' round here like a chicken with it's head cut off." ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
"But," she pauses to push some errant hair back away from her eyes, "it was fun!"
And at the fence, all three dogs nod their heads in agreement.
Half way through the dipping and plucking, Slim looks to the sky and scratches his head.
"What day is it?"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother pauses to think, then her eyes become wide.
"It's Friday, Slim, you are supposed to be on your way home!"
The dead chicken is dropped from Slim's hand and he is out, vaulting over the fence, scattering the dogs as he runs for the house. Ten minutes later he is back out with a scrubbed face and wearing clean clothes. Since the Frumpy Fairy Godmother has nasty, messy hands, she gives him an armless hug and smooches him on the cheek. A few minutes later, he is on his horse and heading toward Mrs. Slim and his thirteen children.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother waves him farewell, then takes in the work ahead of her. She looks to the dogs. "I don't suppose you can help."
Duke grins and gives her a "Sure, if I had opposable thumbs, I'd help. But without them, I'd be happy to eat up that work" look. She gives him an exasperated puff of breath and tosses some chicken feathers at him. Daisy and Claire snap and chase at the floating feathers as she goes back to plucking.
I am happy to see that some folks can pluck a chicken without scolding it first.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gives Litl Rooster the hairy eyeball. "Why would we want to scold the chickens, they're dead!"
She points to the kettle of boiling water. "We're dipping and scalding them there."
She sticks her tongue out at him, tosses some feathers his way, and goes back to work.
Spank my hand... ;D
Quote from: AnnieLee on July 09, 2005, 09:45:17 PM
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gives Litl Rooster the hairy eyeball. "Why would we want to scold the chickens, they're dead!"
. "scalding She sticks her tongue out at him, tosses some feathers his way, and goes back to work.
Delmonico comes out of his office and whacks lil rooster on the hand with his Osage Orange walkin' stick. ;D
<Authors note, that was to easy. ;D ;D ;D ;D>
litl rooster knowing the qualities of Osage Orange (mock orange) hollers out........................
ooooouchhhhhhhhhhh
(litl rooster is already hiding from Delmonico's walking stick, for the above boo boo, and has know intention on fixing it since his hand all ready hurts from the first wack)
Seeing slim run off all clean stoney starts plucking chickens too.
13 children he thinks :o
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother smiles to Stoney as they finish the plucking.
"Gutting's next, but is it okie to feed the gooey stuff to the dogs?"
Still watching at the fence, the pups take on hopeful expressions.
Slim rides into the yard with Saddlebags full of cheese. "Y'all still plunckin' dem chickens." ::) ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother stops and gawks at Slim.
"Still plucking? You just left! Why aren't you on your way home?"
"I'z been home. It's Monday, already." ::)
She tosses a handful of feathers at him.
"It is not, it's Friday!"
"It's Monday, July 11, 1881." ;D
"That's not possible! Nothing changed since you left. Heck, the dogs haven't even wandered off to go poop! If it had been that long, the chickens would be stinky by now, and look, they're still freshly dead!"
She holds one up to show him and yep, it's freshly dead.
"That's not possible." :o
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother pales.
"But you saw the Missus and the Slimettes, and brought back cheese?"
"Yep!" ;D
Delmonico comes out of his office, "It's a time warp, don't worry." ;D
He goes back in to do what ever it is that he does in there. :o ::) ;)
Excuse me....Is there any Pepperjack in dem saddlebags?? It would be might tasty on these friollies and tortias tonight ;D
Sorry he done went to Wissyconsion, not Callyfornia. ;D ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother recalls the time she went away for a three week holiday to the tropics where only two days had passed in Newbrassky and regains her composure. She calls after Delmonico:
"Is it ok to give the chicken guts to the dogs? Do I have to cook the guts first?"
The dogs stampede into the house and sit outside Delmonico's door, waiting for his answer.
Time warp eh?
Come on in Slim and let's "cut the cheese."
Quote from: AnnieLee on July 11, 2005, 12:16:47 PM
poop!
The FFG said poop. ;D ;D
Del, how could you have missed that?
"Litl Rooster, as much as I hate to admit it, Del is right. Wisconsin creameries don't make phoo-phoo cheese in the early 1880's." ;D
Quote from: stoneypete on July 12, 2005, 06:03:03 AM
Time warp eh?
Come on in Slim and let's "cut the cheese."Quote from: AnnieLee on July 11, 2005, 12:16:47 PM
poop!
The FFG said poop. ;D ;D
Del, how could you have missed that?
"Okay, Stoney. Let's go cut the cheese." Slim takes the cheese into the kitchen. "What cheese do ya want to try first?"
As the Frumpy Fairy Godmother's cheeks flash to a brilliant shade of pink, she says to Slim, "thank you," but her tone is "please get him away from me before he embarasses me further!"
"Yer welcome, ma'am."
Delmonico opens his door to pass judgement, ;D ;D ;D ;D "I'd cook them first, I just ain't sure. Perhaps we should feed some to Slim first and see if they make him sick. litl roooster (there is a t ::)) is most likely gonna shoot him fer callin' his favorite cheesse foo foo. :o :o But for the life of me I don't know why folks put stuff other than cheese in cheese. ;D
On hearing Delmonico's proclamation, the dogs thunder back outside to where the Frumpy Fairy Godmother is filling a kettle with fresh water to boil. She smiles at Duke, Daisy, and Claire. "You kids are gonna have some good eating, and no, I am not going to test it on Slim, first!"
They smile back and wag the tips of their tails in anticipation.
"I ain't eatin' no entrails." >:( >:( >:(
Delmonico thinks Slim does eat entails, even if he don't admit it. ;D ;D I eat them all the time. ;D
Trinity staggers back to the ranch. He is worn out and most of his clothes are missing. ....but, on a positive note... his hair has begun to return!
He climbes the steps to the porch and falls into the hammock and falls asleep.
((Dernit! I was ready to haunt the ranch for a few days and had formulated an exit from the casket but SOMEONE (who shall remain nameless) wrote fer Trinity and brought him back to life ...Oh well, I's back! I missed you folks!))
Delmonico and Slim you could at least hand me a chunk of Sharp Cheddar.... My 1 and only Jalpeno is in flower but I have used all the peppers it has produced so far. I should have listened and planted 2.
2ndly I must remember to cancel the order of the Tombstone I ordered for Trinty. Welcome back....SWtill curious about your hair growing back.... ::)ah never mind. And we don't need details on the clothes ::) ;D
Trinity Sleepily opens one eye. Seeing litl rooster standing there he gets up.
"Thanks pard. Ah almost bought the farm that time! If'n it weren't fer them ladies, Ah prolly would be daid 'n' burried roght now! On the other hand... they shore can wear a man down!" ;) ;D ;) ;D
Just then Trinity sees the makings for FFG's green house which he decides to build for her. Unfortunately he has no skill at building and the end product would only have a home in front of some big future metropolitan art museum.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother finishes cleaning the guts out of the chickens. She stores the meat and feeds the slobbering dogs. She heads upstairs to take a bath and while there she smiles, hearing Trinity arrive. Spiffy and clean, she glides back downstairs, ready to greet Trinity and eager to start work on the greenhouse.
When she goes outside she stands there....
And stares.
She stands there a while. A small tear rolls out of the corner of her eye.
"Rooster, there's Cheddar in the icebox. Hep yerself."
"Welcome back, Trinity. Good ta see yer on the mend."
Delmonico is out back building a fire of good hardwoods. He drags out some fresh baked rolls, and puts them on a table in the yard. He also brings chopped onions, pickle relish, cheese, mustard, some of that new fangled Heinz Tomato Catsup. <Authors note, not all ketchup/catsup is tomato>
He also brings out a pot of chili, and a package wrapped in butcher paper. Inside are some of those weiner sausage that are becoming so popular at County and State Fairs. ;D ;D ;D ;D
"I brought these back from my last trip, If had them in the ice house. They are all beef and pork, no strange stuff like they will add to most of them in the future. ;D We'll cook tyhem on a stick and have something different. All except Slim, since the only kind made right now use a natural casing, Slim don't get none cause he said he don't eat entrails. ;D ;D ;D ;D He should have said he don't eat chicken entrails." ::) ::) ;D :D :D ;)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother nods, causing one of her tears to go rolling down her cheek. She still stands there, looking at the art exhibit. Her lips move a little:
"My greenhouse...."
"Yes, Del, I should've been more specific. I don't eat entrails that ain't washed first, which includes chitlins."
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother slowly walks around the structure/sculpture. She examines it closely, looking to see if there is any way she can salvage a greenhouse out of it. The sunlight catches in some of the glass, winking merrily at her.
She steps back from it, takes another look, then scrubs the tears from her face. After a moment, she turns away to go back inside.
Trinity smiles to himself, throws his hands behind his head and loudly proclaims: "Boys! Ah thank Miss FFG lahks the granehouse ah built fer her!"
"Oh, Slim. Chit'lin's is clean. Onct ya got them re-moved from the critter, with yer siphon hose in a large barrel of water ya hook up the other end to one end of the innards . Let the water go an' presto! Clean innards! Mmmmm, Boy! Mama shore could make the tastiest chit'lin's in the whole county!
An' that smail! MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!! Ah kin almost smail it right now."
A while later, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother comes back outside, carrying one of her orchid plants. She makes her way to the "greenhouse" and circles it again, looking for a place, any place to set the orchid where it would be protected.
After six turns around the thing, she gives a small sigh and carries the orchid back inside.
"I've heard nasty things 'bout Chit'lins, never tried 'em and ain't gonna now." >:(
Quote from: Trinity on July 12, 2005, 07:12:30 PM
((Dernit! I was ready to haunt the ranch for a few days and had formulated an exit from the casket but SOMEONE (who shall remain nameless) wrote fer Trinity and brought him back to life ...Oh well, I's back! I missed you folks!))
Authors note: when yer away from your keyboard you never know what will happen to ya. ;D :o
Quote from: stoneypete on July 15, 2005, 04:58:54 AM
Quote from: Trinity on July 12, 2005, 07:12:30 PM
((Dernit! I was ready to haunt the ranch for a few days and had formulated an exit from the casket but SOMEONE (who shall remain nameless) wrote fer Trinity and brought him back to life ...Oh well, I's back! I missed you folks!))
Authors note: when yer away from your keyboard you never know what will happen to ya. ;D :o
<Arthur's note: That's fer sure. Look what Del has done ta me when I tried to go back to Wiscooooooooooooonsin. ::)>
<Author's note: It's Friday> :( :( ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) :D :D :D :D ;)
Quote from: Delmonico on July 15, 2005, 02:57:47 PM
<Author's note: It's Friday> :( :( ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) :D :D :D :D ;)
<Arthur's note: And ya haven't found anything fer me to buy my wife, yet. ;)>
(Author's note: Since Slim and Forty have anniversaries on the 16th and 18th, I think Slim should take his family to Forty's for the celebration. ;D)
Quote from: AnnieLee on July 15, 2005, 03:43:20 PM
(Author's note: Since Slim and Forty have anniversaries on the 16th and 18th, I think Slim should take his family to Forty's for the celebration. ;D)
<Arthur's note: California!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!>
While Delmonico is out of his office for a few minutes, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother has Duke slip in there to get a copy of the invoice for the greenhouse. Smart dog that he is, he brings it to her in a matter of moments.
She studies it carefully, then pulls her wand. The keys on Delmonico's coiloil computer begin tapping away as a replacement greenhouse is ordered. She gives the invoice back to Duke who returns it to the stack.
With a satisfied smile, she sheaths her wand and goes to get a cup of coffee.
Slim jumps on his horse. "See ya Monday, FFg." He reins his horse to the Norteast.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother waves and blows smooches to the departing Slim.
"Gosh, he left in a hurry, no bath or anything. Almost like his pants were on fire."
She calls to the house: "Better start another quilt, Delmonico, Slim may be set on child number fourteen!"
"Ah thought the Slims wuz up ta 35 chill'ren by now!"
Slim maybe shed' like a pair of 61 Armies ;D couple pounds of FFFG some casting Lead. :D You know wimen stuff......(authors note did I mention I've been married 3 times?)
Sadly for the FFg she has forgot that Delmonico has up dated to the wireless computor said by all the computor geeks to be the newest and the best tech-noll-a-gee around. Sadly like may new inventions this one has a fatal flaw. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
The pigeon is caught and eaten by a Red Leg Hawk before it can reach "Sod House Depot." ::) ;D
:'( :'( Oh the humanity!! :'( :'( :'(
Trinity steps outside on this muggy summer day and walks up to his "Greenhouse". Even though it can't really be used as a greenhouse per se, Trinity inwardly admires his craftsmanship.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother spends her day looking down the road to the house, waiting for the wagon to arrive.
litl' rooster loads tools and recruits the help of 2 of his south of the border friends(amigo's) and head off slowly to replace the Greenhouse. Just giving Trinty time to fall back to sleep. I wouldn't want to insult his efforts in the Greenhouse construction...and decided to do the reconstruction while he naps.
"Snarrrxxx"
Stoney see the FFG waiting by the side of the road, Trinity in the greenhouse fallin' asleep and lil rooster building anew.
Well I'll just keep the coffe going and see where the chips fall on Monday.
Stoney thanks for the coffee, this might take little longer than exspected... the mudplate is not sittin' on the footer and with th rain this afternoon it moved a little more. Frankly none of it is plum or square. But it should be in a museum for certin.
"Well, I ain't been here that long, but I've noticed that nothin' here is plum or square. But, I wouldn't have it any other way." "Wonder how Slim made out on his Anniversary."
Stoney realized too late he'd made a bad pun saying "made out on his anniversary". Realizing the question could be taken two ways and the answer to one concidered a sharing violation he just sips his coffee and changest the subject.
"What say we git some breakfast started. The gang should be arrivin' soon."
Stoney heads to the kitchen and starts cookin' bacon and eggs.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother milches the cows and gathers the eggs. She makes her way back to the kitchen with a smile to Pete and Litl Rooster.
"Looks like the hens are back to laying normally."
She stows the food away then gets a cup of coffee and has a seat at the table.
"I appreciate what you are doing, but I don't know if the greenhouse can be fixed. I think Trinity used the leftover wood from his... uh...masterpiece in the cookstove. And who knows what he'll do when he wakes up and see's it's been changed? He seems mighty proud of it, then again, he may not notice at all." She shrugs her shoulders and has a sip of coffee. "I've ordered a new one, but I don't know what happened. It was supposed to arrive Friday and it didn't show up."
I'd bet a jug of Trin's corn squeezin's thet Del had sumthin' to do with it's not arrivin'. ::)
Before you put all them eggs up, I'll need some for breakfast.
Stoney set her a plate and refills her coffee.
Slim rides up to the house, grabs his saddlebags (filled with Wiscoooooooooooooonsin cheese) off the horse, and walks in the kitchen. "Morning y'all. Here some cheese ta go with the eggs."
"By the by, I gave my better-half a coach gun to ward off any vermin will I'z gone."
A coach gun as an anniversary present.
Slim, you such a romantic. ;D
Quote from: stoneypete on July 18, 2005, 09:02:32 AM
A coach gun as an anniversary present.
Slim, you such a romantic. ;D
"I try to be." ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother pauses in her hug of greeting to Slim.
"Did you at least get it engraved?"
Quote from: AnnieLee on July 18, 2005, 12:37:46 PM
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother pauses in her hug of greeting to Slim.
"Did you at least get it engraved?"
"There's engraving on it." ;D
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on July 18, 2005, 12:48:34 PM
Quote from: AnnieLee on July 18, 2005, 12:37:46 PM
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother pauses in her hug of greeting to Slim.
"Did you at least get it engraved?"
"There's engraving on it." ;D
She starts to relax then raises a brow. "Is it pretty engraving, or is it the one of a duck flying out of a blind and to its death?"
Quote from: AnnieLee on July 18, 2005, 12:56:47 PM
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on July 18, 2005, 12:48:34 PM
Quote from: AnnieLee on July 18, 2005, 12:37:46 PM
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother pauses in her hug of greeting to Slim.
"Did you at least get it engraved?"
"There's engraving on it." ;D
She starts to relax then raises a brow. "Is it pretty engraving, or is it the one of a duck flying out of a blind and to its death?"
"It's kinda purdy. The duck one on is on my 12 bore." ;D
"Okie!"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother smiles and Slim gets the rest of his hug.
"Thank ya kindly, ma'am. What should we have fer lunch?"
"It's hot out there, how about chicken salad sandwiches?" I was thinking of having the big meal at the end of the day, when it's cooler.
"Good idea. We should have plenty chicken, unless Del ate it all this weekend." ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother looks around and her voice drops to a whisper.
"I haven't seen him come out of his room and saw a strange bright light last night. I think the flying plates may have come and taken him again."
"Oh, I hope not. Dem buggers do alot of probing in areas ya don't want probed." :o >:(
"Aye. So if Del doesn't come out soon, I'll send Duke in to look for him."
"Good idea."
Duke nods his agreement, then runs off with Daisy and Claire to roll in something foul smelling.
Quote from: AnnieLee on July 18, 2005, 04:10:23 PM
Duke nods his agreement, then runs off with Daisy and Claire to roll in something foul smelling.
<Arthur's note: Them ain't my dogs.> ;D ;D
After rolling, Claire decides that Trinity should be awake so she bounds up the porch and jumps into the hammock. Her stench is overpowering and even Trinity notices:
*Sniff* *Sniff* ... *Sniff* *Sniff*
<<Opens eye>> "Hey Claire! Whatcha doin' up here? *Sniff* *Sniff* ... You smaill that? <<wrinkles nose>> Smaills like the Wedgywood throne room right after Del leaves it."
Realizing that the smell is emanating from Claire, he tells her: "Shoooo, you stink! Hop on down an' go to the FFG. Mebbe she'll use that magical wand of hers on ya!"
Claire reluctantly hops down, tucks her tail between her legs and begins to whine. She walks off toward the door and stops to look back. Trinity points to the door "Go". Claire ducks her head and walks in the house to look for the FFG.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother is standing in the kitchen, slicing potatoes, when Claire enters.
The stench reaches her first. Her eyes water and her sinuses scream.
"What in the blue blazes..." she turns away from the counter, "..Claire! You stink!"
Claire whimpers some more, her tail still tucked.
"Oh, you poor gerl, did Trinity yell at you?"
Claire whimpers and nods.
"Did he send you to see me?"
Again, a whimper and a nod.
"Do Duke and Daisy smell like you?"
Another nod.
"Okie, lemme rinse the 'taters and we'll go fix all of you. Want Duke to smell like lavender?"
Claire visibly brightens and she gives a "whuff" of agreement as the Frumpy Fairy Godmother puts the potatoes under water.
She glides out on the porch and gives Trinity a snap of a wet towel as she passes him, going down the steps with Claire.
"You don't smell much better than she does, you know."
Claire dances around her in anticipation as they go to find Duke and Daisy.
About fifteen minutes later, the four of them come back. Daisy and Claire are preening with bright pink ribbons tied in bows around their necks. They smell clean and fresh and their coats are brushed to a soft gloss.
Duke, meanwhile, is just as clean, but his bow is blue and he smells like lavender. He wanders up to Trinity and raises his leg on Trinity's boot for payback.
Trinity opens an eye: "Ah smail like flars!" Trinity exclaims to the FFG. Then he sees the dogs: " ::) Oh no! Bows! Ah might have made a mis-stake in sending Claire in to the FFG!"
He closes his eye and rolls over in the hammock.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother smiles as the dogs look to her. She lifts her fist and extends her index finger. The dogs quiver in excitement. Her middle finger rises and their tails wag. Her ring finger joins the first two and she mouths "three."
The dogs turn in unison and lift to stand on their hind legs. They place their front legs on the edge of the hammock, placing their combined weight on it. They scramble back as the hammock tips, flipping Trinity out of it.
Laughing, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother goes back to the potatoes.
Trinity hits the floor hard. Stoney sits in his chair sipping coffee and smiling. ;D
<whisper> Ya know Trin. I have expected her to take you down to the tub and have you come back smellin' like Lavender and all tied up in bows. :D <whisper> The mental image of that made Pete smile.
As Trinity got up Pete hands him his Jug. "To ease the pain form your fall." ;)
Delmonico comes out of the cellar, "Them durn flyin' plates have been after me the last two nights. That one little fella with the 3 eyes was lookin' in the window of my office. I hid in the cellar." :o :o
Delmonico then goes out on the porch, "At least I should be safe in the day time. I'm going to the barn to get some boards. I'm gonna board up my office window to be safe at night, I should be safe since it's a clear day and almost noon." ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)
Just as he is openin' the barn door a blue light comes down and carries him off. :o ::) :P :D ;)
Slim runs to his room and opens the window. He pushes the "toy" that GG brought him from the future to the open window. He pulls the trigger and blazes away at the flying plate. "Dagnabit, that plate sure gets outta range in a hurry. I hope they bring Del back soon." :(
Duke goes running after the flying plate, barking wildly, but ducks and hunkers down when Slim starts shooting.
He looks to the sky and howls mournfully.
"Man, that Del sure get carried away alot." ;D ::)
The FFG whacks Stoney on the back of the head.
Delmonico fone home!!!!!!!
[/b]
Well with Del gone guess the kitchen al mine.
Super of fried steak, caned beans and chocolate cake work for you all.
Trinity doesn't answer. He just sits at the table with his knife and fork ready, looking around for everyone else.
"Thank you, GopherGrease."
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother has her seat at the table. She looks at Trinity and bites back a smile, wondering how long it will be before he notices the bright purple bow around his neck.
"Thanks GG." Stoney takes a place at the table. He looks at Trinity to see why the FFG has the "look" on her face.
When notices what she's lookin' at he tries not to laugh. To prevent it he says, "I think I'll slop the pigs before supper."
As soon as he out the door you could hear laughter all the way to the barn.
"Baa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Slim enters the kitchen and sees Trinity with the purple bow 'round his neck. He bites his lip and mumbles, "I'z goin' to check fer eggs." He heads out the front door and bursts into laughter. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Pete meets Slim in the barn. At a glance both know what's on the other's mind and have a good laugh.
"Now that we got that outta our system we gots to keep strait faces at the table. I don't want to ruin the surprize when Trinity sees the bow."
Stoney heads back to the house. Slim would follow after he got the eggs.
Slims gathers the eggs and heads back to the kitchen. He bites his lip, puts the eggs in the icebox, and takes a seat at the table.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gives a wide smile to Pete and Slim as they reenter.
"My, you two seem to be in a grand mood this morning!"
Her eyes flicker to Trinity and the corners of her mouth twitch.
Slim smiles and nods his head trying not to laugh. ;D ;D
Sleepy, Trinity looks around at everyone else with a frown and shouts "Why in tarnation is ever one actin' so strange!! It's like Ah had me a polka dotted nose or somethin'!
...Oh, an, I haven't quite thanked you yet fer sendin' them dawgs over ta rern mah nap on the hammock yesterday, Miss FFG!" :(
Trying desperately hard to stifle her laughter, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother manages to reply:
"You're... quite welcome... Trinity."
"It weren't funny! I was bein' sar-castic 'bout thankin' you!!!"
As Trinity's tone becomes a little heated, the purple bow bobs up and down over his adam's apple. The Frumpy Fairy Godmother almost laughs, but she covers it with a cough.
"Well, I was sincere!"
Stoney lights his pipe to give him something to do. In side he's rotfl ;D
litl rooster takes the bridal off his horse so he can weed eat the yard, he notices the bow around trinty's neck and laughs out loud. Not realizing he doesn't know yet.
Trinity tears the napkin from his lap (he never knew what that square of cloth was for... just that it was an age-old family tradition at dinner time) and throws it on the table.
>:( "That's it. If'n yer all gonna laugh at me, Ahm leavin." with that he stands and stops out the door to the porch, but not without snatching a couple pieces of steak from the serving platter before leaving.
When Trinity steps out on the porch, the dogs gather around to beg for some strips of steak. Then they see him and the bow, stop, and fall over on the ground with dog laughter.
Psssssst Trinty,dont hurry he said, chocolate cake also...
Just after litl rooster mentions that, he looks to make sure he heard right. There is no cake on the table!! There is an empty spot however. A quick check outside finds Trinity laying in the hammock, eating the steak ...with the cake on his belly, waiting in line.
...The bow is still there.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother calls out in a loud voice:
"Delmonico made the cake before the flying plates came to get him and I haven't been able to find his caster oil!"
Inside the house, the dinner party can hear a crash of a plate and a thud.
Just as Trinity was finishing the second steak and thinking about the cake, he overheard the comment about the castor oil which made him shudder, causing the cake platter to slide off of his belly. He made no effort to stop it.
Trinity mutters to himself: "Whew, that were close, but I thought fer shore that gophergrease done made that cake!" :( :( :(
Trinity shrugs and licks the remainder of the gravy from his fingers.
Duke and Daisy nudge out Claire for the cake, so she jumps up on the hammock, looking at Trinity, licking steak mess off his face. Then she starts to play tug of war with the bow on his neck.
"Wha... that's mine!" Claire pulls off the bow and stares back triumphantly, waiting to see what Trinity's next move will be.
"What in tarnation is that? A bow?? Around MAH neck! Ah wonner if that's what them folks were laughin' at!?? Of all the the cotten-pickin'... Why Ah'll bet this is the doin' of that durned FFG, always playin' jokes!"
Trinity thinks...
"Ah gots me an idee, Claire! You go inside an fetch me the FFG's magical stick when she's not lookin'. I wanna have some fun!"
Suddenly from below there's a high pitched "Pewwww" and Duke yips, jumps up and starts chasing his tail.
*Sniff* *Sniff* Trinity wrinkles his nose. "When you come back Claire, Ah'll be in the rocker over there!"
Claire goes back in the house and makes a beeline for the Frumpy Fairy Godmother who looks down at her.
"Howdy, Claire, get any of that cake? There wasn't any castor oil in it, you know."
Claire shakes her head and starts to tug at the Frumpy Fairy Godmother's sleeve.
"What is it, girl? Did Timmy or Trinity fall down a well?"
Claire just tugs harder, then tries to wedge her nose inside the sleeve.
"Claire, you cute pup, subtlety is not your long suit. You're trying to get to my wand, aren't you?"
Caught, Claire's eyes go very wide and her tail tucks. But the Frumpy Fairy Godmother grins.
"That's ok, we'll give you a wand to take to him." She moves to the cupboard, where she takes out some spaghetti. "That's about enough, I think," she says, showing the dog about a dime's diameter of the uncooked pasta. Then she gets out a roll of duct tape from a drawer and tapes up the noodles until they have a silvery, compact form.
"Voila! A wand! But..." and here her eyes get that mischievous sparkle to them, "a wand has to have magic, neh?" She draws her wand and waves it over the fake one. "Now, each time he waves this, or tries to make magic with it, a piece of purple elbow macaroni will fall out of his left ear!"
She snickers and gives the "wand" to Claire, who runs back out on the porch to deliver it to Trinity.
Claire struts happily out onto the porch and walks wide of Duke, who is still chasing his tail, to the rocker where she drops the "wand" at Trinity's feet and barks. Trinity opens his eyes and looks down and smiles. He reaches down to scratch Claire behind the ears.
"Yer a good dawg, Claire." He takes up the wand and examines it. "Ah shore woulda thought this dang magical stick would be outa wood or somethin' like that! This thang's all taped up. It looks like somethin' mah cousin Clem woulda made!"
Standing up, Trinity dries the wand on his shirt of Claire's slobber and proceeds to conjure up his first spell. "Ah member when Ah had that rang, what ever'body said was evil (said with a frown), it were pretty easy. Ok, ready?"
Claire ducked her head and tucked her tail
"Abber kadabber hokem pokem!" Trinity waited to hear the FFG scream but nothing happened. He waited a little longer. He tried again and waited again. Confused at why his wand wasn't working he reached up to scratch at a flea or something bothering his left hear when he found two pieces of purple elbow macaroni tangled in his ear hair! Not quite sure how they got there, he simply shrugged and popped them in his mouth and chewed. A little waxy but good, nonetheless.
Trinity eased closer to the door where he had the FFG in sight and tried again "Abber kadabber hokem pokem!"
On the floor fell another piece of purple elbow macaroni. Trinity looked up and around, then under the chairs on the porch and poked his fingers in both ears to make sure there wasn't any more.
Exasperated, Trinity tried again, this time violently waving the wand until the weak spaghetti inside the duct tape broke and he was left with a limp "wand" and another piece of purple elbow macaroni. Trinity stood and stared at the flacid member in his hand incredulously for a moment. His first instinct was to panic but then even Trinity is not that stupid and he began to realize that he was the brunt of a joke. He glanced at Claire, who looked at him apologetically.
Trinity stooped to pick up the last piece of purple elbow macaroni and ate it and sat to think what his next move would be.
litl' rooster is wiping up the coffee and decides it's time to change horses and leave. Trinty will be serving purple macroni's with cheese when Del gets back. It's too bad the pups didn't save any of the cake :( If only Trintyknew he doesn't need a magic wand to make magic. All he has to do is close his eyes and click his spurs together and say 3 times there is no place like home!!!!!!!
Look Toto! We're not in Kansas anymore. ;D
Welcome back ST. Coffee?
You look...different.
Quote from: stoneypete on July 22, 2005, 09:40:15 AM
Welcome back ST. Coffee?
You look...different.
<Can't drink coffee in this thread 'cause I'm not really here. ;D But thanks anyway. ;D>
Hmmm....Different from what? ;D
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on July 22, 2005, 09:51:34 AM
Quote from: stoneypete on July 22, 2005, 09:40:15 AM
Welcome back ST. Coffee?
You look...different.
<Can't drink coffee in this thread 'cause I'm not really here. ;D But thanks anyway. ;D>
Hmmm....Different from what? ;D
"A jack-a-lope." ;D
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on July 22, 2005, 09:51:34 AM
Quote from: stoneypete on July 22, 2005, 09:40:15 AM
Welcome back ST. Coffee?
You look...different.
<Can't drink coffee in this thread 'cause I'm not really here. ;D But thanks anyway. ;D>
Hmmm....Different from what? ;D
You changed your avitar again. You no longer look like a cartoon. ;D ;)
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on July 22, 2005, 09:53:48 AM
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on July 22, 2005, 09:51:34 AM
Quote from: stoneypete on July 22, 2005, 09:40:15 AM
Welcome back ST. Coffee?
You look...different.
<Can't drink coffee in this thread 'cause I'm not really here. ;D But thanks anyway. ;D>
Hmmm....Different from what? ;D
"A jack-a-lope." ;D
Look out folks. I'm Silver Creek Slim's evil twin.
BWAH! AH! AH! AH!
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on July 22, 2005, 10:00:14 AM
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on July 22, 2005, 09:53:48 AM
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on July 22, 2005, 09:51:34 AM
Quote from: stoneypete on July 22, 2005, 09:40:15 AM
Welcome back ST. Coffee?
You look...different.
<Can't drink coffee in this thread 'cause I'm not really here. ;D But thanks anyway. ;D>
Hmmm....Different from what? ;D
"A jack-a-lope." ;D
Look out folks. I'm Silver Creek Slim's evil twin.
BWAH! AH! AH! AH!
I thought Slim was the evil one. :o
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on July 22, 2005, 10:00:14 AM
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on July 22, 2005, 09:53:48 AM
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on July 22, 2005, 09:51:34 AM
Quote from: stoneypete on July 22, 2005, 09:40:15 AM
Welcome back ST. Coffee?
You look...different.
<Can't drink coffee in this thread 'cause I'm not really here. ;D But thanks anyway. ;D>
Hmmm....Different from what? ;D
"A jack-a-lope." ;D
Look out folks. I'm Silver Creek Slim's evil twin.
BWAH! AH! AH! AH!
"I thought this was my evil twin." ???
(http://www.digitaldaemon.com/Image/Large/standing_daemon.jpg)
Quote from: stoneypete on July 22, 2005, 10:15:57 AM
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on July 22, 2005, 10:00:14 AM
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on July 22, 2005, 09:53:48 AM
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on July 22, 2005, 09:51:34 AM
Quote from: stoneypete on July 22, 2005, 09:40:15 AM
Welcome back ST. Coffee?
You look...different.
<Can't drink coffee in this thread 'cause I'm not really here. ;D But thanks anyway. ;D>
Hmmm....Different from what? ;D
"A jack-a-lope." ;D
Look out folks. I'm Silver Creek Slim's evil twin.
BWAH! AH! AH! AH!
I thought Slim was the evil one. :o
Everything is relative. compared to me Slim is the nice one.
BWAH! AH! AH! AH!
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on July 22, 2005, 10:21:16 AM
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on July 22, 2005, 10:00:14 AM
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on July 22, 2005, 09:53:48 AM
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on July 22, 2005, 09:51:34 AM
Quote from: stoneypete on July 22, 2005, 09:40:15 AM
Welcome back ST. Coffee?
You look...different.
<Can't drink coffee in this thread 'cause I'm not really here. ;D But thanks anyway. ;D>
Hmmm....Different from what? ;D
"A jack-a-lope." ;D
Look out folks. I'm Silver Creek Slim's evil twin.
BWAH! AH! AH! AH!
"I thought this was my evil twin." ???
(http://www.digitaldaemon.com/Image/Large/standing_daemon.jpg)
Nope. It's me ;D
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on July 22, 2005, 10:24:36 AM
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on July 22, 2005, 10:21:16 AM
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on July 22, 2005, 10:00:14 AM
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on July 22, 2005, 09:53:48 AM
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on July 22, 2005, 09:51:34 AM
Quote from: stoneypete on July 22, 2005, 09:40:15 AM
Welcome back ST. Coffee?
You look...different.
<Can't drink coffee in this thread 'cause I'm not really here. ;D But thanks anyway. ;D>
Hmmm....Different from what? ;D
"A jack-a-lope." ;D
Look out folks. I'm Silver Creek Slim's evil twin.
BWAH! AH! AH! AH!
"I thought this was my evil twin." ???
(http://www.digitaldaemon.com/Image/Large/standing_daemon.jpg)
Nope. It's me ;D
<Arthur's note: Where'd ya find that?!?! ;) >
<Author's note: I remember Slim having an evil twin on TFS for a while, but don't remember what pic he used for it. >
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on July 22, 2005, 10:28:13 AM
<Arthur's note: Where'd ya find that?!?! ;) >
<C. Clarke's note: This time it may be Annie's fault ;D. I found it in her hat thread ;D>
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on July 22, 2005, 10:51:03 AM
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on July 22, 2005, 10:28:13 AM
<Arthur's note: Where'd ya find that?!?! ;) >
<C. Clarke's note: This time it may be Annie's fault ;D. I found it in her hat thread ;D>
<Author's note: When did the rules change? This is now two boards were folks are blaming folks other than Slim. ???>
Quote from: stoneypete on July 22, 2005, 10:54:39 AM
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on July 22, 2005, 10:51:03 AM
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on July 22, 2005, 10:28:13 AM
<Arthur's note: Where'd ya find that?!?! ;) >
<C. Clarke's note: This time it may be Annie's fault ;D. I found it in her hat thread ;D>
<Author's note: When did the rules change? This is now two boards were folks are blaming folks other than Slim. ???>
< Naw, it's Slim's picture, so it's still Slim's fault. :D >
Quote from: AnnieLee on July 22, 2005, 10:57:38 AM
Quote from: stoneypete on July 22, 2005, 10:54:39 AM
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on July 22, 2005, 10:51:03 AM
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on July 22, 2005, 10:28:13 AM
<Arthur's note: Where'd ya find that?!?! ;) >
<C. Clarke's note: This time it may be Annie's fault ;D. I found it in her hat thread ;D>
<Author's note: When did the rules change? This is now two boards were folks are blaming folks other than Slim. ???>
< Naw, it's Slim's picture, so it's still Slim's fault. :D >
:( :( :( :(
Quote from: AnnieLee on July 22, 2005, 10:57:38 AM
Quote from: stoneypete on July 22, 2005, 10:54:39 AM
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on July 22, 2005, 10:51:03 AM
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on July 22, 2005, 10:28:13 AM
<Arthur's note: Where'd ya find that?!?! ;) >
<C. Clarke's note: This time it may be Annie's fault ;D. I found it in her hat thread ;D>
<Author's note: When did the rules change? This is now two boards were folks are blaming folks other than Slim. ???>
< Naw, it's Slim's picture, so it's still Slim's fault. :D >
<Both of them > ??? :o
Quote from: AnnieLee on July 22, 2005, 10:48:16 AM
<Author's note: I remember Slim having an evil twin on TFS for a while, but don't remember what pic he used for it. >
<Arthur's note: It was this pic. It is the daemon for BSD Unix.>
< Ah, ok. I still haven't seen any sign of the Landshark there, yet. Hrm. I don't think he's bitten Cajun Sheriff... >
Since my head hurts when I try to find my own posts, I'll change back my avatar. ;D
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on July 22, 2005, 11:14:26 AM
Since my head hurts when I try to find my own posts, I'll change back my avatar. ;D
<Well, when you gonna change it. Looks the same to me.> ;D
Quote from: AnnieLee on July 22, 2005, 11:07:33 AM
< Ah, ok. I still haven't seen any sign of the Landshark there, yet. Hrm. I don't think he's bitten Cajun Sheriff... >
<I think he's a good candidate fer an attack. ;D>
Slim
Quote from: stoneypete on July 22, 2005, 11:20:06 AM
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on July 22, 2005, 11:14:26 AM
Since my head hurts when I try to find my own posts, I'll change back my avatar. ;D
<Well, when you gonna change it. Looks the same to me.> ;D
;D ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: stoneypete on July 22, 2005, 11:20:06 AM
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on July 22, 2005, 11:14:26 AM
Since my head hurts when I try to find my own posts, I'll change back my avatar. ;D
<Well, when you gonna change it. Looks the same to me.> ;D
;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother, who had been gleefully watching Trinity through the slightly parted curtains, suddenly gets a peculiar ringing in her ears. It sounds like distant, small voices, but she can't make out any of the words. She gives her head a shake and moves back into the kitchen.
Stoney wakes up with a Start. :o He looks over at Trinity and says, "I would have sworn I saw ST. But he looked like he was in the military. Then he looked like Slim. Then he was round and green. i think I need some more of you squeezins."
After a few swigs and long smoke on his pipe, Stoney felt better.
"It's gotta be the plate that took Del. They be messing with my head."
Quote from: stoneypete on July 22, 2005, 12:44:08 PM
Stoney wakes up with a Start. :o He looks over at Trinity and says, "I would have sworn I saw ST. But he looked like he was in the military. Then he looked like Slim. Then he was round and green. i think I need some more of you squeezins."
I'm glad it was a Start, and not Tarts! (http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/love/13.gif)
With the beginnings of a glare, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother turns to see who was talking about tarts. Then she sees it is Russ T. and her face breaks into a smile.
"Want a lollipop?"
litl rooster enters the thread. He takes a good wiff of stoney's pipe and smells the squezzin's. Looks at the wild pictures and decides to leave. He is afraid the Marshall, the Pinkertons, and the ATF are going to be pokin' around soon.....I'll be keeping a watch from the trail along the Dismall.
Trinity lifts the jug to his lips and drinks. "It's Friday night boys, an' there's likker an' talk of tarts! What more kin a body ask fer??"
As his stomach growels, he wishes to himself that he would find some more of those purple elbow macaroni pieces. :(
"Well, since Delmonico is off being probed and Gophergrease seems to have gone back to the future, I made Squash Glop for dinner."
:P :P :P :P :P Trinity decides to subside on Korn tonight!
With a small shake of her head and a sigh, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother dishes out some of the "Glop" for herself. It contains sweet Italian sausage mixed with saute'd crook necked squash and zucchini, and combining the mixture is melted parmesan cheese.
She makes small sounds of contentment as she eats.
Little does she know that someone is peeking in the kitchen window, drooling down the panes of glass
At the sound of Duke's bark, she calls out without turning around:
"Come on in, there's plenty for everyone!"
Trinity looks inside but says "Nooooo thankee, Ma'am. It's still got squarsh :P :P :P."
Stoney sits down to a plate.
Mmmmmmm!
((Author's note: I actually made Squash Glop this past week. I got the recipe for it from Tricky Trina. <Thank you, Trina!> It was wonderful, and my dogs begged for the leftovers. :D A.L.))
At the sound of the raised voices, the only thing heard is soft footsteps fading off into the dark
Quote from: AnnieLee on July 23, 2005, 12:16:17 PM
((Author's note: I actually made Squash Glop this past week. I got the recipe for it from Tricky Trina. <Thank you, Trina!> It was wonderful, and my dogs begged for the leftovers. :D A.L.))
<Authors Note: PM me the recipe. It sounds delicious.)
While everyone was enjoying a weekend nap and escaping the heat of the day, Trinity stole down to the kitchen where he found the Squash Glop in the ice box. He rummaged around and picked out all of the Italian sausage pieces and placed them on a plate and returned the Glop to the icebox. Taking the sausage over to the sink, he painstakingly cleaned each and every piece free of any evidence that it had ever come in contact with squash. :P
Next he took his prize over to the stove which he lighted. Filling a pan with bacon grease, he warmed the sausage and prepared for a good meal. The three dogs came bounding in as soon as they heard the crackling in the frying pan, sliding all over the floor in their excitement.
Trinity reached down and fed each one a piece of sausage which they ate as if swallowing a pill. "Jest how did y'all taste it so quickly? Asked Trinity.
The dogs responded by wagging their tails ferociously and panting.
;D ;D :o ::) ;D ;D
Quote from: stoneypete on July 23, 2005, 03:04:57 PM
Quote from: AnnieLee on July 23, 2005, 12:16:17 PM
((Author's note: I actually made Squash Glop this past week. I got the recipe for it from Tricky Trina. <Thank you, Trina!> It was wonderful, and my dogs begged for the leftovers. :D A.L.))
<Authors Note: PM me the recipe. It sounds delicious.)
<<Author's note: What we have here is a clear example of an Arschkriecher! ;D ;D ;D>>
Quote from: Trinity on July 23, 2005, 04:18:36 PM
Quote from: stoneypete on July 23, 2005, 03:04:57 PM
Quote from: AnnieLee on July 23, 2005, 12:16:17 PM
((Author's note: I actually made Squash Glop this past week. I got the recipe for it from Tricky Trina. <Thank you, Trina!> It was wonderful, and my dogs begged for the leftovers. :D A.L.))
<Authors Note: PM me the recipe. It sounds delicious.)
<<Author's note: What we have here is a clear example of an Arschkriecher! ;D ;D ;D>>
<<Author's note:
!!!!ELLE KABONG!!!!I was NOT kissing anyone's rear. It's a great concoction, and I don't even know if Trina reads this thread.
<Smacks him again to balance out the ringing in his ears> >>
Trinity shakes his head and says: "Miss FFG... you'll please notice that there were another post after yours. That is the one to which Ah was referring... Mah haid hurts!" :'(
Trinity goes and lays down while still holding his head.
litl rooster and the others laugh out loud, but deaf to Trinty...all but the bells from the steeple
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother sends a perplexed look after Trinity.
"Why is he muttering about posts? I didn't say a thing about posts!"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother still thinks she is real and not a figment of someone's warped imagination.
< Author's note: Heh heh heh. She can't see what I say! :P >
Trinity goes to the bathroom and wraps his head with a bandage and stuffs cotton in his ringing ears all the while muttering under his breath: "That crazy woman always goin' 'roun' here sayn' <sneer> 'She can't see me', 'She can't hear me', 'She doesn't know she's not real'. Give her a magical stick an a dern fryin' pan an' she thinks she rules the roost! What in tarnation is wrong with that woman!?? ??? >:( ??? >:(
A face appears in Trinity's mirror. The woman behind the glass taps on it to get Trinity's attention.
"I'm the one with the frying pan" says a ghostly voice. "And I didn't hit you, I smacked your creator. The wonderful lady with the wand doesn't know I exist. Then again, do I exist?"
Then the glass fogs over and she is gone.
:o Seeing this, Trinity stands frozen in his tracks. Unable to move, all of his color has drained from his body and his mouth is silently moving as if he were talking back to the mirror.
Finally he collapses.
Hearing an odd thump, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother gets up to investigate.
"TRINITY!!" She exclaims, seeing the fallen form on the bathroom floor.
She rushes to him and checks to see if he is still breathing. He is, so she dampens a washcloth and wipes his face while looking for an injury. It's hard to tell with his clothing so filthy, so a flick of her wand cleans his clothes and skin.
When the others come into the bathroom, they find her on the floor with his unconsious head in her lap. She coos softly to him as she wipes his face with the cloth.
Seeing a clean trinity in the FFG's lap :o was a shock. Not nearly as big a shock as Trinity will get when he wakes. 'I wonder what made him drop this time, Stoney thought. It sure weren't the Squeezin's. Oh yeah...the squeezin's.' Stoney heads out to the porch.
Her voice was stern.
"Stoney Pete, you get back here and help me get him to his bed!!"
Trinity finally comes to and realizes that he's clean. He panics and bengins to call out miscellaneous names: "Herman! Peabody! Frederick! Sebastian! Where is you??? Mah lil' frens done been warshed off agin, dadgum it! :'("
Trinity finally notices the FFG above him and stoneypete standing nearby drinking out his jug.
"Did y'all see that?" Trinity anxiously asks. "Did y'all see tha ghost!?? Ah'm bein haunted!!! Pass me down that jug stoneypete, Ah need me a slug!"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother smiles gently, then kisses Trinity on the forehead. "I'm glad you are all right, and no, I didn't see a ghost."
She takes the extended jug from Pete and hands it to Trinity. "Are you feeling good enough to stand up?"
Trinity takes a swig from the jug, exhales heavily and says in a throaty voice. "Yep, arta be able ta stand now!"
He gets up and avoiding the mirror, exits the bathroom and heads for the porch for a lay in the hammock. As he is finally comfortably swinging in the hammock, he asks: "Any body got plans fer dinner. Ah shore would love ta eat out here after all that Ah've been through."
He takes another gulp from the jug. (http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/food/37.gif)(http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/food/37.gif)
litl' rooster hands Trinty a pouch of fresh jerky..This might hold you over stranger till we get a relieve coosie in here.
Authors note(litl rooster knows it's Trinty in them clean clothes and skinbut, he is not sure Trinty does)
Stoney cooked two pound so bacon and put on on a plate bringing it to Trinity. Handing it to Trinity he says, "You've been more than generous with your squeezin's. Let me know if'n you want some help brinin' more in from the stills. I'd hate to run out." :o
Slim rides up to the ranch house with his saddle bags full of cheese. "Morning y'all. I gots more Wiscooooooooooonsin cheese." Slim takes the saddle bags off his horse and walks onto the porch.
Slim
"Howdy Shlim! Wash out fer the bashroom. There'sh a ghohsht in there!!!" *Glug*
He eats the Bacon and jerky that the gents offered him and asked if there was more.
"Ghost in the water kloset?" ???
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother jumps down from the porch. She flutters down to the ground and gives Slim a big hug before taking the cheese to stow it away. She whispers to him> "I think he put something in his recipe that is making him see things."
"Thanks fer the hug, ma'am."
"I think he is still using lead soldier." :o
"Mah recipe is just fahn! Stoneypete done been drankin' from it an don' nobody say nothin' to him 'bout lead! Danggummit!
Not wanting to waste any of the recepe and not having anything else to slam down for effect Trinity looks around for a moment and finds a chicken feather on the porch. He takes the feather up and throws it down as hard has he can. It drifts left, then right, then left again several times before finally gently touching down upon the porch.
a small nature man in sandals approches the front porch, stopping to pet the dogs as they greet him. He walks to the porch and see's Trinty in the hammock. Trinty opens one eye to look still hangin' on to his jug, the man exclaims ....me no work here....this man crazy, me go to Nevada work for man and 3 sons.
"Wait, wait!" The Frumpy Fairy Godmother calls after the man.
"Can you cook? We pay good wages, and Trinity doesn't normally well... uh... bother people...."
"Oh, so now Ah bother people, huh? Ah see how y'all thank of me!" >:( >:(
the little man stops the dogs run again to greet him...
Slim walks out to the porch and spies the stranger. He looks familiar. ???
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on July 26, 2005, 10:58:44 AM
Slim walks out to the porch and spies the stranger. He looks familiar. ???
Seeing the look on Slims face, Stoney take a better look at the stranger. 'The last time I'd seen that face, he was guarding the jail with a shotgun.' I could be wrong but he went by the name Stumpy.' Stoney thought. I'll keep it to meself for now.
yep Stumpy can't find a pic of Chin Li and and Hop Sing is busy in another thread...Dagnabit ;D So the interviews continue for a replacement coosie...In the mean time while ridin' over Naked Mtn this evening I come across a Peach orchard and filled my saddle bags with fresh picked fruit, help yourselves.
How about the guy on left....He might be too Harmonious with the Oatmeal
"Stumpy? Why Ah knew someone named stumpy onct. Got that name after the 'splosion... Poor feller... never will have much any more ta keep the women-folk occupied. :(
:o What in tarn... Someone give me a lookin' glass. I kain't see them fellers so far away, but it looks lahk they's starin' at us!!!"
They heard the little man as he run away mumbling something about you and are afraid to come closer....It's going to be hard to find a replacement cook if you keep skerin them off. This guy applied also
"Who's 'ffraid of me? Why Ah ain' never hurt nobody never! Call 'em back!
Who applied. Why, if they keep standing at the far edge of the field yonder, we'll never know if they kin cook."
I think Delmonico would approve of this one since he knows the value of Castor Oil
Trinity mumbles under his breath: "Finally, a pard who's got the gumption ta come on up ta the door!"
Louder, to litl rooster: "We have extolled the virtues of this mans cookin' afore in this here thread! Ah wan' me some apple pah!!!"
Quote from: Trinity on July 26, 2005, 07:59:44 PM
Trinity mumbles under his breath: "Finally, a pard who's got the gumption ta come on up ta the door!"
Louder, to litl rooster: "We have extolled the virtues of this mans cookin' afore in this here thread! Ah wan' me some apple pah!!!"
must have been before I mosied into this country ;D 3 pat of butter....?
Quote from: litl rooster on July 26, 2005, 07:48:15 PM
I think Delmonico would approve of this one since he knows the value of Castor Oil
"I've met him. A right fine gentleman and dedicated to the task at hand. He was onct on a cattle drive and we came across a wagon load of soiled doves and he said, "Well, I have the inclination, the maturity, and the where-with-all; but unfortunately, I don't have the time."
"I also recollect he's a man of prayer. During a lynchin' attempt he was quoted as praying, " I regret trifling with married women, I'm thoroughly ashamed at cheating at cards, I deplore my occasional departures from the truth, Forgive me for taking your name in vain, my Saturday drunkenness, my Sunday Sloth. Above all, forgive me for the men I've killed in anger, and those I am about to... " I hear all hell broke loose after that."
He'd be a right fine addition to the ranch if we could get him.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gives a puff of breath as she looks over the applicants.
"I don't mean any offense, but I'd rather Delmonico and Gopher Grease were back."
With a small frown, she gives a hopeful look to the sky.
"Me, too. But I think Jedediah Nightlinger might be the best of the applicants."
Another man walks up with an application in hand:
"I'm used to pulling boys out of trouble, I can cook enough for an elementary school, I can sing, and the ladies sure do like my sweet slow lovin'. I was told to come here by Capt. Hamp Cox."
(http://www.comedycentral.com/images/shows/southpark/site/d14_chef.gif)
Suddenly there is a strange noise over head that sounds like a finger nail running across a chalk board. :o There is a green light that turns to blue in the yard and Delmonico reapears once again wearin' a strange white with blue paisley night shirt with ties in the back. As the flyin' plates leaves he runs into his office moonin' every one as he goes by. ;D
<Authors Note: I'm back for a while, till the plates drag me off again. I'ts gonna take a couple days to catch up, between my slow computor and the fact I can't sit for long periods at a time. But it's good to be back. :)>
"Was that Del that just run thru here with his backside exposed?" ???
<Author's note: It's good ta have ya back, Del. ;D>
Duke leaps up and runs after Delmonico, making it into his office before the door slams shut.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother is left to gawk.
"I hope that wasn't what I thought it was. I know I missed Delmonico, but did he have to make such an entrance?"
Well, you did say you wanted him back. He, as you requested showed you his back...side. ;D :o
litl' rooster also welcomes Delmonico back.....Hope you don't need to go back. This stayin' up late reviewing resumes for a coosie have been murder...Of course most never got past Trinty, even though he swears he never skeered them.
(http://razyr.com/smileys/UFO.gif)
"Wailcome back, Del!!!!
Don' listen to them others. I din't never skeer no one! Ahm glad yer back, cause that last feller(http://razyr.com/smileys/afro.gif) wanted to serve us all somethin' called chef's salty chawk-lit balls. Din't sound too 'ppealin' a-tall!!!" (http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/shock/2.gif)
It becomes readily apparent to all in the room that Delmonico has no qualms whatsoever about displaying his aspic in mixed company. But, what do you expect from a hoochie coochie coosie?
(Author's note - Howdy, Del, good to see your rosey cheeks again. Hope things are looking up.)
Quote from: Capt. Hamp Cox on July 27, 2005, 07:32:01 PM
It becomes readily apparant to all in the room that Delmonico has no qualms whatsoever about displaying his aspic in mixed company. But, what do you expect from a hoochie coochie coosie?
(Author's note - Howdy, Del, good to see your rosey cheeks again. Hope things are looking up.)
:o ...but we don't need to see 'em if they are. Keep the front side covered!
;)
Quote from: Trinity on July 27, 2005, 07:41:32 PM
Quote from: Capt. Hamp Cox on July 27, 2005, 07:32:01 PM
It becomes readily apparant to all in the room that Delmonico has no qualms whatsoever about displaying his aspic in mixed company. But, what do you expect from a hoochie coochie coosie?
(Author's note - Howdy, Del, good to see your rosey cheeks again. Hope things are looking up.)
:o ...but we don't need to see 'em if they are. Keep the front side covered!
;)
I'z whole heartedly agree. :o
<Arthur's note: Changing the subject. ::) >
Slim goes out to gather eggs and milch the cow, but runs into:
(http://www.spaghettiwesterns.com.ar/GianMariaVolonte.JPG)
:o
Sure hope he wernt hurt. Ya know how sue happy some folks are nowadays. Gotta be more keerful around that hen house and cow pen.
"Ah got me a good pard, who happens to be known as the finest shot back home in the Carolinas, what's lookin' fer that scoundrel!!"
(http://www.wunderblogs.com/soaressilva/images/vancleef6.jpg)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother blinks at Capt. Hamp.
"Uh, hullo, uh, when did you arrive, and would you like something to eat?"
Delmonico appears in the kitchen wearin' his beloved red flannel night shirt. The buttons (real pearl) are in the front and buttoned and all 4 are buttoned clear to the top. "I've got a strange hankerin' for potatoe soup." <Yes the e at the end is period correct.> ;D With that he starts peeling onions and potatoes. ;D
<This is what is brewin' upstairs, look for the recipe in Cosie's Corner it is a Duesy.>
(Author's note: Who knows the origins of "it's a Doozy" or more correct Duesy?)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother turns to give Delmonico an affectionate hug.
"Please make a lot of it? We've got company."
Ok, I'll take the recipe I'm postion in CCAFB and quad-druple it X4 or would that be
Potatoe Soup to the 16th power, I ain't good at math. ;D
"Ta the 16th power sounds good ta me, 'cuz this fellar looks mighty hungry." ;D
"Ok it's done, recipe is posted and I et a bowl to be sure."
Quote from: AnnieLee on July 28, 2005, 12:35:01 PM
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother blinks at Capt. Hamp.
"Uh, hullo, uh, when did you arrive, and would you like something to eat?"
Capt. Hamp, looking a bit disconcerted at having been recognized by The Frumpy Fairy Godmother, quickly approches her, surreptitiously slips her a note, and fades back into the shadows of the anteroom. The Frumpy Fairy Godmother, taken somewhat aback by the conduct of the young, handsome and debonaire captain, slowly turns away from the other people in the room, who are all involved in inane chatter and totally unaware of what just transpired. Making sure she is not being observed, The Frumpy Fairy Godmother retrieves the note from where she had secreted it in her sleeve, and reads the following:
"My Dear Frumpy Fairy Godmother,
I sincerely apologize for not communicating with beforehand, since it is imperative that no one be aware of my true identity. I have been selected by the CRS* to closely monitor the activities and conduct of one of your associates, a somewhat sickly, occasionally good natured, harry faced coosie (or cosie depending on who you ask). He is allegedly dispensing recipes without a license, and I am here to determine the truth of those allegations. If it becomes necessary for us to be seen together in public, please do not refer to me as Capt. Hamp. For this operation I've assumed the name "Catastrophe", and the rank of Maj. Please don't blow my cover. Slim is the only other person aware of what is in this note. *CRS = Coosie Regulation Services."
Well pilgrims by request to the President of these United States, and as a favore to Litl' Rooster I am here to keep an eye on a fella who sez he is with "CRS" and goes by the name and title of Major Cat Astrophe....The potatoe soup smells quite good
<Author's note: Another one has mistaken the blue poka dot bandanna fer a beard. ;D And this can be honestly said. "It's all Slim's Fault.>
Quote from: Delmonico on July 28, 2005, 12:41:53 PM
Delmonico appears in the kitchen wearin' his beloved red flannel night shirt. The buttons (real pearl) are in the front and buttoned and all 4 are buttoned clear to the top. "I've got a strange hankerin' for potatoe soup." <Yes the e at the end is period correct.> ;D With that he starts peeling onions and potatoes. ;D
<This is what is brewin' upstairs, look for the recipe in Cosie's Corner it is a Duesy.>
(Author's note: Who knows the origins of "it's a Doozy" or more correct Duesy?)
<<Author's note: Does not Duesy refer to the Duesenberg automobile?>>
Quote from: Delmonico on July 28, 2005, 07:35:45 PM
<Author's note: Another one has mistaken the blue poka dot bandanna fer a beard. ;D And this can be honestly said. "It's all Slim's Fault.>
( Author's note! Phooey, Delmonico, you posted that you had a two week growth of beard! Then you edited it out!! So there! :P A.L. ))
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother reads the note and becomes instantly confused. She had looked at the man, but hadn't recognized him. And now there was the matter of the note. Did she know him from somewhere? Had he perhaps been a pool boy at one of her vacation trips to the tropics? As her face turns a deep magenta, she attempts to sneak a peek at him when she is interrupted by another handsome stranger babbling about being from the President.
"Uh... so what?"
<I forgot about the 2 weeks growth and I didn't edit it.>
< Trinity wins the prize the finest auto of it's time and still one of the best ever made. They only made the chassie front fender, hood and cowl, you commisioned a custom body to your taste.
275 Hp out of an over head cam straight 8 with optional super charger able to do 130 mph, 10-15,000 dollars for the chassie plus what the body cost, another 3-5000 generally.
A Ford cost about $500, had 40 hp and went 65 mph. Yep a real Duesy)
Quote from: Delmonico on July 29, 2005, 12:25:16 AM
<I forgot about the 2 weeks growth and I didn't edit it.>
< Trinity wins the prize the finest auto of it's time and still one of the best ever made. They only made the chassie front fender, hood and cowl, you commisioned a custom body to your taste.
275 Hp out of an over head cam straight 8 with optional super charger able to do 130 mph, 10-15,000 dollars for the chassie plus what the body cost, another 3-5000 generally.
A Ford cost about $500, had 40 hp and went 65 mph. Yep a real Duesy)
That data referrs only to the J model or SJ, if supercharged, Duesemberg, made from 1929 to 1937.
They only made the chassie, head lights, front fenders with spare tires, running boards, rear fenders, tail lights (which are very distinctive in a Duesenberg, hood and cowl
They also sold finished cars. The fabled 20 grand Duesie being one of those.
It was a
double over head cam straight 8 and had four vales per cylinder (nothing new under the sun ;D )
ST( the long time Duesemberg fan, that also knew what being a duesie meant but was fast asleep when you asked ;D )
I would rather have the Ford or thw Willy's that is for sale at the Texas Jacks web site
Quote from: litl rooster on July 29, 2005, 03:57:14 AM
I would rather have the Ford or thw Willy's that is for sale at the Texas Jacks web site
what's the adress for the web site.
Just curious about what Ford or Willys would be better than a Duesemberg.
Stoney scratches his head. He hears the voice of ST, yet the gentleman in the room looks more like a painting. (http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/think/17.gif) (http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/think/33.gif)
Quote from: stoneypete on July 29, 2005, 07:34:23 AM
Stoney scratches his head. He hears the voice of ST, yet the gentleman in the room looks more like a painting. (http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/think/17.gif) (http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/think/33.gif)
Pay no attention to me. I'm just hanging around. ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother narrows her eyes and points her wand at the painting.
"Are you going to behave, or am I going to have to change you into dogs playing poker on velvet?"
Quote from: AnnieLee on July 29, 2005, 09:25:53 AM
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother narrows her eyes and points her wand at the painting.
"Are you going to behave, or am I going to have to change you into dogs playing poker on velvet?"
That depends, what's my hand gonna be? ;D
And how much's at stake? ;D
I think I've seen that picture before, hmmmm. ::) Yep my Uncle painted it back in 1964 for Grandma to hang on the wall. It was nothing but lines and numbers when he bought it at the Five and Dime. ::) ;D :D ;)
Was it this one?
(http://www.thevelvetstore.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000001/va003-3.jpg)
Or maybe this one?
(http://gaming.unlv.edu/gallery/friendinneed.jpg)
Or maybe this one?
(http://www.finepostersmadison.com/College/dogsplaypokersST2502C.jpg)
Or maybe this one?
(http://www.pokercardgames.com/Dogs_Playing_Poker_Station.gif)
Boy! All your dogs seem to have a gambling problem. ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother blinks as the paintings change before her eyes, then something Delmonico says catches her full attention.
"Back in nineteen sixty four? Back? Delmonico, where did those flying plates take you??"
Quote from: AnnieLee on July 29, 2005, 11:32:49 AM
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother blinks as the paintings change before her eyes, then something Delmonico says catches her full attention.
"Back in nineteen sixty four? Back? Delmonico, where did those flying plates take you??"
It's not the flying plates Annie Lee, Delmonico has a modified DeLorean stashed somewhere. ;D
Naw it was a modified 1962 Rambler Classic with the 196 Cid 6 cylinder engine and the 3 peed tranny with the shifter in the steering column. Wasn't as cool as the one with the automatic and the push buttons. ;D
But in either one the seats folded down to make a bed, a carry over from the Nash. "Nice girls don't date guys who drive Nashes." Someone said that one a "Happy Days" show. ;D
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on July 29, 2005, 11:35:49 AM
Quote from: AnnieLee on July 29, 2005, 11:32:49 AM
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother blinks as the paintings change before her eyes, then something Delmonico says catches her full attention.
"Back in nineteen sixty four? Back? Delmonico, where did those flying plates take you??"
It'not the flying plates Annie Lee, Delmonico has a modified DeLorean stashed somewhere. ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother twists around in her chair to look behind her. Seeing no one there, she looks back to the painting.
"Who is AnnieLee?"
Quote from: AnnieLee on July 29, 2005, 12:20:15 PM
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on July 29, 2005, 11:35:49 AM
Quote from: AnnieLee on July 29, 2005, 11:32:49 AM
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother blinks as the paintings change before her eyes, then something Delmonico says catches her full attention.
"Back in nineteen sixty four? Back? Delmonico, where did those flying plates take you??"
It'not the flying plates Annie Lee, Delmonico has a modified DeLorean stashed somewhere. ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother twists around in her chair to look behind her. Seeing no one there, she looks back to the painting.
"Who is AnnieLee?"
<C. Clarke's note: The painting remains silent, cause no one told him yet if he has a good Poker hand nor if the stakes were worth being changed to a dog.>
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gets an exasperated look.
"I don't know what your hand will be, and the stakes are the pot, I suppose. It all depends on which dog you become, but if you are the entire painting, you are ALL the dogs, and then you win everything on the table in the painting. Now who is AnnieLee??"
Quote from: AnnieLee on July 29, 2005, 05:30:06 PM
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gets an exasperated look.
"I don't know what your hand will be, and the stakes are the pot, I suppose. It all depends on which dog you become, but if you are the entire painting, you are ALL the dogs, and then you win everything on the table in the painting. Now who is AnnieLee??"
Wof! Wof!
Never trust a St Bernard wearing blue tinted glasses at the table.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother pauses, then shakes her head.
"What am I doing? The man is insane, why do I expect him to be rational?"
She gets up from her seat to look for something to cook for dinner.
Hearing the clatter of pans, Trinity and the dogs arrive as if called.
(http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/food/35.gif)
"Trinity! Duke! Daisy! Claire! Did you hear the pans?" The Frumpy Fairy Godmother grins. "To go with our porkchops, I've got fresh peas, tomatoes, and squash!"
Trinity and Claire leave. Duke and Daisy stay, not really understanding what was said.
On their way out Trinity whispers to Claire: "We kin git some meat what's hangin' up in smokehouse." Claire yelps excitedly and runs in circles around Trinity as they walk out the door.
After they leave, she winks to Duke and Daisy.
"Ha! He fell for it! More for us!" And she gets out the stacks of ribs with mashed potatoes with gravy.
Outside, the smell of ribs wafts to Trinity's and Claire's noses. *Sniff* *Sniff* "MMMMMMM, You smail that lil' one? Ah thank we done been had! Ah gots me an idear."
Claire listens intently as he explains his plan. Then together they head over to the ash pile and both have great fun rolling about until they have covered themselves completely in ash and are ghostly grey.
Gingerly, they walk back to the house and creep inside. They listen to the happy sounds of the trio munching and enjoying ribs with mashed potatoes with gravy ( >:(). Claire looks up at Trinity and he silently mouths "One... two... THREE!"
They burst into the kitchen with Claire howling and Trinity "ooga-booga-ing"
The three rib eaters all make sounds of startlement: a small shriek, a bark, and a yip. Then Duke lunges forward to bite Trinity on his ashy as... rear. The Frumpy Fairy Godmother knocks over her chair as she stands, pulling out her wand, then she squints, does a double take, and starts laughing.
Pointing a finger at them as she laughs, she manages to choke out:
"You fell in the ash pit on the way to the smokehouse! What a pair of weiners!"
Quote from: Trinity on July 29, 2005, 11:26:26 PM
They burst into the kitchen with Claire howling and Trinity "ooga-booga-ing"
what a mental picture ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: litl rooster on July 30, 2005, 04:59:16 AM
Quote from: Trinity on July 29, 2005, 11:26:26 PM
They burst into the kitchen with Claire howling and Trinity "ooga-booga-ing"
what a mental picture ;D ;D ;D
Hearing the commotion inside, Stoney goes to investigate. Trinity and Clare are covered in ash. Trinity's scary noises have turned to screams cause of the pain in his...butt ::) Duke is drinkin water to get the ash out.
"Glad, to see everything is status quo in hear. FFG, is there enough for me or shall I cook more?"
Quote from: AnnieLee on July 29, 2005, 11:57:11 PM
The three rib eaters all make sounds of startlement: a small shriek, a bark, and a yip. Then Duke lunges forward to bite Trinity on his ashy as... rear. The Frumpy Fairy Godmother knocks over her chair as she stands, pulling out her wand, then she squints, does a double take, and starts laughing.
Pointing a finger at them as she laughs, she manages to choke out:
"You fell in the ash pit on the way to the smokehouse! What a pair of weiners!"
Authors note: I'm verking Overtime. It's 6:08 in the am. This was a very funny installment. Made my day. Sure glad I wasn't drinking (http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/happy/2.gif)
Delmonico comes out of his office, "For some reason after my last ab-duck-ion I have a strange craving for soft bland food. There's tapioca puddin' in the ice box." ::) ::) :o :o
Delmonico comes out of his office with a bamboo fly rod and a can of his favorite fly, the pink wiggler. ::) ::) ;) I'm tired of plain ol' tater soup, I'm going fishing and catch me a couple catfish to add to my tator soup and make it fish chowder. ;D
Delmonico comes back from the river looking puzzled, ??? "Well I got me some fish for my chowder, but I didn't catch on durn catfish, can't figger out why all I caught was Alaskan Pollack?"
"Oh well they'll be good in my chowder." ::) ;D :D ;)
litl rooster is scratching his head watching Delmonico clean his so called Alaskan Pollack...It looks like a fresh water drum(a scavenger) a nice size one. Could the reasent ab-duck-ion of Delmonico"s, have caused some kind of memory loss or mental confusion?????? I am sure Del know's his fish. Still even more so why would he want to use that nice bamboo fly rod to catch catfich when the trot lines are baited and set? litl rooster gets up from his desk and rummages thru a box of fishing gear and finds the new leader and tippet he ordered for his bamboo rod and reel. Later.
Meanwhile, Trinity STANDS at the table and enjoys his ribs with mashed potatoes and gravy! He dops a rib down to Claire as needed.
<Author's note, the package said Alaskan Pollock when I bought it last night to make chowder tonight. ;) Plus a fly rod is sporting, dyno-mite is more effective than trot lines.)
would perfer dynomite but they ask so many questions these days at the hardware store
make yer own! (http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/naughty/1.gif)
Quote from: Trinity on July 30, 2005, 11:31:46 PM
make yer own! (http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/naughty/1.gif)
;D ;D ;D ;D
Explosives attract too many a them game wardens. Ifin its catfish you want, all you need is the genertor from a old hand crank telyphone, an a couple a long wires with lead weights on the ends, a camo oufit, an a long handled dip net ;D.
Trinity writes down these ideas and goes out to go fishing. First, he stops to check on the stills and to take care of some matters.
Wearing a calico dress, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother puts on her palm leaf hat, gathers up her working gloves, and heads to the greenhouse Litl Rooster made for her. She is humming merrily; perhaps along with tending to her orchids, she'll have some luck with the hybrid "Delmonico Flytrap" she's been trying to grow.
Over at still site number eight Trinity checks the supply of corn and stokes the fire. He takes a twelve day old jug and tastes it. Then tastes it again... Then again. (http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/food/24.gif)
Not 100 percent pleased with the taste he sets about the task at hand.
Quote from: AnnieLee on July 29, 2005, 09:14:42 PM
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother pauses, then shakes her head.
"What am I doing? The man is insane, why do I expect him to be rational?"
She gets up from her seat to look for something to cook for dinner.
Wof wof wof wof wof. Wof Wof?*
* Twas you that turned me into a dog in a painting. Why are you complaining?
<<Author's note>> She only threatened to turn you into a dog painting. She didn't because of your whining about wanting to know what your hand is! ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: AnnieLee on July 29, 2005, 11:32:49 AM
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother blinks as the paintings change before her eyes,
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on July 31, 2005, 11:45:08 AM
Quote from: AnnieLee on July 29, 2005, 11:32:49 AM
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother blinks as the paintings change before her eyes,
I guess I was skimming to get back to the story. ::) ;D
Well, was the hand any good?
Quote from: Trinity on July 31, 2005, 11:52:33 AM
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on July 31, 2005, 11:45:08 AM
Quote from: AnnieLee on July 29, 2005, 11:32:49 AM
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother blinks as the paintings change before her eyes,
I guess I was skimming to get back to the story. ::) ;D
Well, was the hand any good?
Wof!
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on July 31, 2005, 11:53:14 AM
Quote from: Trinity on July 31, 2005, 11:52:33 AM
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on July 31, 2005, 11:45:08 AM
Quote from: AnnieLee on July 29, 2005, 11:32:49 AM
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother blinks as the paintings change before her eyes,
I guess I was skimming to get back to the story. ::) ;D
Well, was the hand any good?
Wof!
Arf!
Wof! Arf, Wof Wof. <Dog grin>
Before headin' out for the day, Delmonico checks his fish in the icebox. I'ts still a bit frozen, he's confussed about how not only did he catch Alaskan Pollock in the Dismal, they were frozen. ;D
Hearing a ruckus of dog barking in the house, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother walks back inside. She narrows her gaze on Trinity and the painting.
"I never changed you," she speaks to the painting, "You just changed several times in front of my eyes! I think Slim had something to do with it. But I *can* change you into something else. What would you like to be?"
Quote from: AnnieLee on July 31, 2005, 02:11:43 PM
Hearing a ruckus of dog barking in the house, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother walks back inside. She narrows her gaze on Trinity and the painting.
"I never changed you," she speaks to the painting, "You just changed several times in front of my eyes! I think Slim had something to do with it. But I *can* change you into something else. What would you like to be?"
<<Author's note>> Trinity is at the Stills, not in the house. The noises that the FFG heard were from a conversation between the Author and Scattered Thumbs, and were not really in the realm of the Newbrasskey story. If this were explained to the FFG she might begin to understand the copious references to AnnieLee and tear apart her understanding of reality. If
this were to happen... Well we don't wan't to even think about it.
Meanwhile Delmonico has ordered King Crab traps, since he caught Alaskan Pollack in the Dismal, there must also be King Crabs lurking down in the depths of it. ;D ;D ;D
He then here's a strange noise and goes to check up what it going on. The noise is about a 1/2 mile downstream from the house.
<Authors note: The p in crabs was purely by accident, I need to proof better. :o ::) :P)
Delmonico heads down river and looks down at the river from the bluff. Down there around the bend in his favorite fishing hole is a Japanese Trawler fishing in his spot in violation of Internation Treaties.
Delmonico rides on into Dunning and telly-graphs The Nebraska Fish Comission and requests a Game Warden be sent to in-vest de-gate. ;D
Duke gives a bark and the Frumpy Fairy Godmother turns to look at him. He grins, cocking his head at her as though wondering why she is talking like that. She makes a face at him, then starts to point to Trinity and the painting, but there's no Trinity in sight and the painting is still and silent. She thwaps her gloves against her thigh.
"I don't know how a brand new house can be haunted, but this one certainly is!"
With a sniff, she goes back to the greenhouse.
(Author's note: There, her reality is secure and everyone is safe! Whew!)
I believe ST is tring to play 3 wuf's and a arf high hand???
I am really worried I believe Delmonico has gone off the deep end, unless he thinks them traps will worker in a freezer at the bottom of the Dismall. If FFG would haul out the German gernade launcher Delmonico wouldn't have to send a tely graf.
<Authors Note: A roooshin weapon would be more proper to attack a japanese ship in this time period. ;D And I ain't went off the deep end, I'm just takin' to many meds includin' codiene.>
Delmonico receives a telly-gram back, the Gov-neeer has issued orders for the "Great Navy of the State of Nebraska" to set sail to protect the fishing rights of the state from for-een invaiders.
<Authors note, yes we have a Navy, but everyone in it is an Add-ma-reel-al. This ought to get interesting, 'scuse me, time for my meds.>
Quote from: AnnieLee on July 31, 2005, 04:58:37 PM
"I don't know how a brand new house can be haunted, but this one certainly is!"
As the dawn sheds its dim light in the room, the painting in the wall slowly changes from the gambling dogs scene to the portrait of a gambler. ;D The gambler's eyes seem to shift from left to right glancing across the room. ::) A faint cough sound can be heard, apparently coming from the wall. :o
Bleary eyed and not fully awake, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother cinches her robe around her as she wanders into the kitchen. She freshens up the fire and starts the water for coffee. Hearing a cough behind her, she mumbles "Morning.... " then turns to see who has entered the kitchen. Seeing no one there, she rubs her eyes and looks again. Her gaze falls on the painting and she stares.
Oddly enough the painting stares back at her.
*cough* *cough*
Her eyes widen as she sees it staring back at her. Without thinking, without considering that it's a painting, so the man in it can't exactly reach out to hold a cup, she asks:
"Would you like some tea with honey to ease that cough?"
(Author's note: Oh my lands, I don't remember that avatar having eyes before! Seems that I remember it having lowered lids as it pontificated about something unknown! I nearly spewed my coffee! )
Here's looking at you. ;D
Arthur's note. I'm impressed. You got excellent memory.
Her eyes widen again as she sees the painting's eyes move! Clinching her robe even more tightly against her, she slowly backs up to the stove. She makes her coffee awkwardly, not turning her back on the gambler.
"Uh... if you will excuse me, I have to go dress for the day."
And with that, she takes her coffee with her, trying to not look like she is fleeing as she leaves the room. She scans the walls of the bathroom when she enters it, then covers the mirror with a towel before drawing the water for her bath.
(Author's note: Alas, I have to get ready and go to verk! I'll be back later! :D A.L.)
Quote from: AnnieLee on August 01, 2005, 06:48:46 AM
(Author's note: Alas, I have to get ready and go to verk! I'll be back later! :D A.L.)
Who? ::)
<C. Clarke's note.
A.L. = Alien Lifeform? :o :D >
((Yikes!! I think the painting can see what I am saying inside the parenthesis! I hope he isn't going to reveal my presense to the Frumpy Fairy Godmother. That could cause a deployment and mixture of matter and anti-matter and the universe could collapse. Uh. Wait. Not that I would know anything about such things. Uh. Not that I would admit nor comment about any supposed or hypothetical Alien Lifeforms. The A.L. Stands for AnnieLee! That's my story and I'm sticking to it! :P Meanwhile, yes, I know Mr. C. Clarke's first name is Arthur. Brat.))
Slim rides to the ranch house with saddlebags fulla cheese. Seeing nobody on the porch, he takes the cheese and puts in into the icebox. "Anyone home?"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother glides into the kitchen. Her hair is up, she's wearing a clean and pressed dress, and she smells faintly of jasmine as she hugs Slim.
"Welcome back, Slim!" She pauses to whisper in his ear, "watch out for the painting. It's haunted and has been watching us."
She takes a quick peek at the painting and sees it is winking at her. She makes a small, surprised noise.
"Thank ya, ma'am."
"What paintin'?" ???
"The one on the wall behind you. It was the portrait of a painter last week, then turned into dogs playing poker. Now it's a gambler."
"Oh, that one. If it keeps winkin' at me, I might have ta get me 'Mighty Ten'." ;D
Delmonico has come in at daylight to have some breakfast, he decides that the FFg and Slim are crazy worring about a painting on the wall. He grabs some soda crackers and this jar of pasty stuff made out of goobernuts that arrived the other day from some doctor in St; Louis.
Sitiing on the bluff he eats goobernut butter and watches the Japanese Trawler catching all the King Crabs out of the Dismal river.
Meanwhile an iron clad Moniter type ship has steamed south on the Mizz-or-ee River, it turns west at Plattsmouth into the Platte River. It makes horrible noises as it scrapes the sand bottom of the 6" deep and 1/2 mile wide river, at least it found the main channel. ;D
The Iron Clad scrapes up to the Loup River and turns north into enough water to finnally float. ;D
Trinity staggers into the room with his .45, which is seldom used since he arrived in Newbrasskey. "Don' worry none 'bout the mighty ten, Slim. Ah'll take care of the lady!"
With no more warning than that the small group is treated to a deaffening volley of blasts as Trinity plugs the painting five times.
*hic*
Delmonico comes in from watchin' the trawler to get something to eat. He looks at the 5 holes near the paintin' and just shakes his head. ;D
At dark the ironclad reaches the forks of the Loup. It ties up for the night, ready to lake the lower fork at daybreak. ;D ;D ;D
Don't let Trinity go to the ship, He'll corrupt them boys with his recipe. If he tells them about the ladys they'll never leave.
Late at night the portrait starts glowing. :o The five .45 slugs slowly come out of the painting and fall on the kitchen floor ;D and the holes slowly disappear. ::)
Meanwhile, five red dots forming a cross shaped figure slowly appear on Trinity's chest. ;D Trinity mumbles something in his sleep and scratches his chest.
litl rooster using the cover of sunset swims his horse into the Dismall. Where he attaches long ropes to floating red objects the Trawler litters the river with. Swimming his horse back to the banks he secures the loose ends of the ropes to a large Cottonwood.
Early in the morning, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother wakes for some unknown reason. Barefoot and with her hair floating down her back, she slips into her robe and make her way to the kitchen. An eerie glow emits from under the door, but she opens it anyway.
"Oh, now what?!" She says to the glowing painting, followed quickly by an "OW!" as she steps on something on the floor. She bends to pick up a .45 slug.
"What the....?"
Slowly the glowing fades away and the painting returns to normal.
David Niven re appears....He was much ez'r to get along with than the 1 eared guy
The glow fades, casting the room back into darkness. "Gee, thanks, you could have waited until I got a lamp lit," she mumbles as she straightens. "OW!" She exclaims as she steps on another slug. Muttering under her breath, she lights the lamp, then picks up the four rounds on the floor.
"Derned haunted house, derned Delmonico getting us a haunted house, and where is he, anyway? Last I saw of him he was heading out to go fishing, and haven't seen him since, and the Dismal is too shallow for him to drown in it, dern it, it would serve him right, and I should just go back to bed, but no, I'll make the rasa frasing coffee and I bet that painting stares at my fanny while I do it, and when it gets daybreak, I'll go down to that swamp of a river and find him, and I may just kick him in the rear or turn him into a toad!"
;D
Sure enough, as she turns away from the coffee pot, she sees the painting staring at her. She grabs up a dishtowel and thwaps the painting.
"Shame on you!"
Quote from: AnnieLee on August 02, 2005, 06:47:50 AM
Sure enough, as she turns away from the coffee pot, she sees the painting staring at her. She grabs up a dishtowel and thwaps the painting.
"Shame on you!"
Talking to a painting on the wall, again? ;D
Tssk! Tssk! Tssk! ::)
"Humph!!"
And with that, she hangs the dishtowel over the painting.
Slowly a pair of red eyes appear through the cloth. :o
;D
Slim walks into the kitchen with his eyes barely open and sits at the table. "Mornin' ma'am. Feels like this is at least a two cup mornin'."
BOO! ;D
Lookit me! I got a cloth over my head. I'm ghost! I'm ghost!
BWAH! AH! AH! AH!
;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother glares at the dishtowel, then pours coffee for Slim and takes it to him.
"I don't know what is wrong with the painting," she sighs, "when I got up, there were five spent bullets beneath it and it's been acting strange. I covered it up, but," she gestures toward it, "it obviously took care of that."
She pours a cup for herself and brings the pot with her to the table, having a seat and placing the pot on the table before Slim. Leaning a bit, she whispers.
"I don't know who the man in the portrait is, but I think he was a letch."
The cloth falls from the portrait that now has innocent baby blue eyes.
A letch? Me? I'm shocked.
"What paintin' are ya..." Slim sees the painting.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
"Slim!! Slim!!! You have to stop screaming! It's just a haunted painting! Oh, NO! That isn't what the people in the flying plates look like, is it?"
"Sorry. :-[ I'm okay, now. No the painting don't look like the flying plate critters. They are undescribable."
"Whew! Okie! Well, you just sit here and drink your coffee, I'll go milche the cow and gather the eggs."
She ties on her apron and scurries out before he can stop her.
<Authors Note: The flying plate critters wear cloth masks over their faces and wear rubber gloves. ;D>
Still under the cover of dark, litl rooster returns to the barn and hitches the mules to harness and the work wagon. Pulling Dos's saddle off, giving him a scoop of oats, and turning him out. Avoiding all the strange going on's in the house he jumps into the seat and gives the team a cluck. They step up in a perfect long walk. Returning to the Dismall, where I tied off the ropes. I unhitch the wagon and bring the team to the tree, where I begin tying the ropes to their traces. Slowly pulling the long heavy (weighted) grass ropes out of the water.The floats and there anchors following. To my surprize there is a large wooden basket/crate attached. In them are a giant tailess crawfish looking creature. Nothing like I ever seen before. Could this be? Is this somethings those people in the flying plates have left behind? Is Trinty really seeing ghost? Why are these peop;e fom another world here in that big fishing boat? Could I have inhaled some of Trinty's brew and gotten the lead poisoning too?
The iron clad ties up at the mouth of the Dismal for the night. The sailors are given passes and head into Dunning. ;D
Trinity rides in from still number eight with a gleam in his eye. Wait... no, that was on his saddle. He had spent the entire past couple days replacing the silver at the stills with the old fashioned lead solder that the FFG had sneakily replaced while his back was turned. Now the silver was back where it belonged... on his saddle. Besides, he never did like the new taste of the recipe!
After seeing to his horse for the evening, he rushes to the FFG full of excitement.
"Miss FFG, Ah done brought us somethin' that should help us with our problem!"
(http://www.constantines.com/ProductImages/finishing/newimages/paintthinner.JPG)
Quote from: Delmonico on August 02, 2005, 07:28:19 PM
The iron clad ties up at the mouth of the Dismal for the night. The sailors are given passes and head into Dunning. ;D
Oh well, looks like Trinity's ladies will be too busy for him tonight. ;D ;D ;D ;D
<Author's note: Not Trinity's ladies, just the high class one's, reread my post's, "The Navy of the Great State of Nebraska" only has Admirals. No Admiral wants Trinity's wagon ladies. :o>
<Author's note: Trinity would be inflamed if he could read the author's notes!(http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/mad/27.gif) >
Quote from: Trinity on August 02, 2005, 07:34:21 PM
(http://www.constantines.com/ProductImages/finishing/newimages/paintthinner.JPG)
<The painting in the wall just snickers.>
While the portrait snickers, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother pours a bit of the thinner on a clean dishtowel and attempts to rub some on the lower left hand corner of the painting.
The dishtowel catches fire. :o
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother leaps back from the painting, tosses the dishtowel in the sink and douses the fire with water. She notices the portrait now has glowing, red eyes.
*cough*............*cough*
"Go ahead and cough, you letch!"
With a swirl of her skirts, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother goes to her room and pens a letter to a friend in Maryland. Not trusting the coil oil computer after the fiasco of her green house, she touches her wand to the letter and it disappears.
I ain't a letch. Just normal male. ::)
"No, you are not normal. You are a painting!" The Frumpy Fairy Godmother sniffs as she passes it on her way to the porch. "And those blue eyes aren't fooling anyone!" Duke and Daisy bound at her heels.
The iron clad makes it to the bend in the Dismal River and sinks the trawler. The Japanese sailors are captured and put in the brig of the iron clad and it heads down. ;D
Delmonico comes into the kitchen, "Steamed crab legs for supper, get Slim to clarify some butter." ;D
"Why, is it confused?" The Frumpy Fairy Godmother grins as she comes back in with a huge head of cabbage and some carrots.
litl rooster now has a wagon full of empty baskets and wet ropes and does not need them. Now that Delmonico has cooked the tailess crawfish..Hey dem are pretty tasty.
Laughing at the site of FFg trying to scrub the paint off the canvas from the can of Paint thinner Trinty brought yesterday. I seen him when he was returning from town with it. Drinking it down he stop at #8 and top the can off with his squezzins. It will probably ignite if you rub it too hard.
Trinity huffs. (http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/mad/32.gif) "People that don' know commonly make that mis-stake! But Ahm here ta tale you, they's a worl' of differnce twixt thinner an' squeezins!
Yeah, mah squeezin's'll take har off yer crotch, but it's made with love an' that thinner ain'!"
<Both contain tolulene.> ;D ;D ;D :o :o :o
After the meal of King Crab legs, Delmonico is sittin' on the bluff above where the trawler was operatin'. Suddenly he hears funny souning music and a small dingy boat with "Orca" painted on it comes upstream, Robert Shaw is at the wheel. ??? ;D Suddenly there is a large fin movin' u, upstream, this gives Delmonico an idea.
He runs to the hose, grabs the strange paintin' and tosses it into the river in front of the fin. A large teeth filled mouth opens up and engulfs the painting and then dissapears. :o :o ;D
Delmonico says out loud, "That ought to keep the FFg from being sent to the insane asylum at Norfolk." ;D ;D ;D The strange music dies out as the head and fin of the Great White Shark dissapears. ;D ;)
Late during the night a rectangular portion of the kitchen wall starts to glow.
After a while an image starts forming on the glowing portion of the wall.
< Arthur's note. "JAWS" on the Dismal? :o Gi'me a break will ya? ;D >
glowing the image of
That ain't me. ::)
And it isn't a fish slicker. ;D
And no you can't have it. ;D
;D ;D ;D ;D
Hearing a voice in the kitchen, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother braces herself and enters.
"Hey! You aren't the man from the other portrait! And where is your frame?"
She stares as she sees the former painting is now a part of the wall.
Quote from: AnnieLee on August 04, 2005, 06:30:31 AM
"Hey! You aren't the man from the other portrait! And where is your frame?"
This is an avatar of me. ;D
After that the glowing gradualy fades away leaving the image as part of the wall.
Quote from: AnnieLee on August 04, 2005, 06:30:31 AMShe stares as she sees the former painting is now a part of the wall.
Ya catch on quick don'tcha? ;D
She squints at the "painting."
"Hey, wait a second, you look like that man who passed through here a while back. Gave us one name but his real name was something else. Why are you on the wall? Did somebody kill you? If you're dead, why did you come here to haunt?"
Quote from: AnnieLee on August 04, 2005, 07:20:47 AM
Why are you on the wall?
... ;D
Quote from: AnnieLee on August 04, 2005, 07:20:47 AM
Did somebody kill you?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. ( ever watched "Pale Rider" ? ;D )
Quote from: AnnieLee on August 04, 2005, 07:20:47 AM
If you're dead, why did you come here to haunt?"
A man's got ta do what a man's got ta do. ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother ponders that as she makes her coffee. If the man in the painting had intended harm to the people in the house, he could have already done so. All he had done was leer and wink, unless someone tried to remove him. Could she get used to having him in the house? Was it safe to have him in the house? Could she risk it? With a small shrug of her shoulders, she turned back to look at the wall.
"Will you tell me what it is that you've 'got to do'?"
Quote from: AnnieLee on August 04, 2005, 08:14:18 AM
"Will you tell me what it is that you've 'got to do'?"
Sore wa himitsu desu yo. ;D
< known fact: Those who ask questions to paintings in the wall, may get the answer in Japanese ;D>
She glares, then reaches in her pocket, pulls out a fish and sticks it in her ear. She listens a bit, frowns and puts the fish away.
"Derned smart aleck. Could mean: 'That's for me to know and you to find out,' or 'It is the secret of my death,' or, 'if I told you, I'd have to kill you.' Which is it?"
You could go ask one of the crew members of the Japanese trawler instead of asking a fish. ;D
<known fact. Fish are big liars, or is that fishermen are big liars? ;D>
But I'm feeling generous today.
Absolutely free translation:
"That is a secret. "
So I guess your #1 option is the better choice.
I 'member, that's the guy with the dusty slicker or the slick duster. ;D
<Authors note: As a native Newbrasskan I can do what I want with the rivers in my story. There is some Italian movie where they sink a steam boat to almost the top of the stacks in the Platte River, then dive on it with primative diving gear to get the gold. Before lake know as Big Mac was formed in the 1940's there was no place deep enough to float a steam boat let alone sink it. ;D ::))
Quote from: Delmonico on August 04, 2005, 11:25:44 AM
<Authors note: As a native Newbrasskan I can do what I want with the rivers in my story. There is some Italian movie where they sink a steam boat to almost the top of the stacks in the Platte River, then dive on it with primative diving gear to get the gold. Before lake know as Big Mac was formed in the 1940's there was no place deep enough to float a steam boat let alone sink it. ;D ::))
Tall tales. Tall tales. Tall tales. Tall tales
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother pauses to give Delmonico a kiss on the cheek on her way out.
"Those funny crawdads were good last night, thank you! I'll be back in a bit, I'm out to harvest elbow macaroni and linguine."
Hooking her basket over her arm, she waves to the painting and Delmonico and heads to the garden.
Ever eaten any of the real ones? I lived across Lake Ponchartrain from "Nawlins" for three years and developed a real likin' for those little "mud bugs". Used to have block parties with those as the main dish with boiled corn on the cob and potatoes as sides. Did a lot of peelin' and "head suckin' (after you eat the tails, you have to suck the good stuff out of the head :P). Really miss all that great Louisiana eatin'.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother pauses on the porch, smiling to the stranger. She's already forgotten the name he gave her to use.
"Aye, I've had them, but in a far away land. Had whole squid there, too, but they were small. Also pickled octopus. That was the test to see if you were a good customer. If the waiters didn't like you, they'd stick the suction cups to the plate."
Major Catastrophe (Alias, Capt. Screwup), face red as a boiled mudbug, greatly embarrassed fer fergfettin' which thread he was in, hurridly pops an extry Aricept pill, and slithers back behind the drapes, vowing never again to interrupt the Frumpy Fairy Godmother when she was on a roll, hopin against hope that she was a falrly fair Frumpy Fairy Godmother, and would be free with her forgiveness, and remain friendly forever. :-[
Her curiosity overcomes her desire for pasta and she wanders into the parlor, pulling back the drapes a bit.
"Major, are you all right? Why are you hiding in the drapes?"
Still somewhat cowed by his recent faux pas, the sunburned looking, once handsome young man, got even redder as he haltingly uttered, "I confided once recently that I was a under cover CRS agent, but had no idea I'd demonstrate it in such an embarrassing way that could have very easily blown my cover. Think it be best if I just stay here in the shadows and see if I can figger out who the bad guys are. Sure a lot of possible suspects. Don't know when, where, or how, but I'll be contactin' you. Say, you wouldn' mind if I moved to a drape a bit closer to the privy, would you?
She whispers lowly to him.
"Major, if you want to live in the curtains, that's fine, but you can have a room if you want one. I could tell everyone you are my visiting nephew from... uhm... Brazil or something. But if you really want to stay in the drapes, there's a window right next to the bathroom upstairs and it has double draperies to keep out the sun. I'll bring you a sandwich after I finish my chores, ok?"
Quote from: AnnieLee on August 04, 2005, 03:08:21 PM
She whispers lowly to him.
"Major, if you want to live in the curtains, that's fine, but you can have a room if you want one. I could tell everyone you are my visiting nephew from... uhm... Brazil or something. But if you really want to stay in the drapes, there's a window right next to the bathroom upstairs and it has double draperies to keep out the sun. I'll bring you a sandwich after I finish my chores, ok?"
Haltingly, the once handsome, once debonaire, once proud CRS undercover officer took the Frumpy Fairy Godmother's tater stained hand and, just for an instant, a tear of gratitude welled up in his eye, and he slowly took her hand in his, and, pulling a cartridge from his belt, placed it in her hand, and sprinted up the stairs to the bathroom, wordlessly accepting her offer of room, board, and sanctuary. (is that a long sentence, or what?) The Frumpy Fairy Godmother, startled by the rapid departure of the once handsome, once debonaire, once proud CRS undercover officer, wondered aloud, "Now why would he give me this grungy looking corroded copper cased rimfire cartridge? Is he trying to tell me something? Is he actually a "
dirty CRS copper"? What else could it be?
Delmonico figgers the "CRS" means "can't remember s........tuff, since the last nights supper was King Crab legs not Crawfish/crayfish/crawdads/mud bugs..
The whole crowd has figgered he's some sort of lawman since he fergot to take his CRS Agent badge off a his vest. ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother thinks Alaskan King Crabs are funny crawdads, but she bounces the round up and down in her hand as she goes back outside to harvest the pasta. Again she stops, turning to go back inside where she leaves a note for Delmonico:
"We need to clear some land and put up a new building. I think it's time we had a bohunkhouse, or to use the shorter version of the word, a bunkhouse."
She sticks the note on the icebox where he'll be certain to see it, then finally goes out to the garden.
Well I don't 'spect for Slim to show back up till Monday, but have him bring a load a dat Wissyconsion White Pine Lumber.
Oh and when it gets here keep Trinity away from it, you know what happens when he gets his hands on building supplies. ;D
Major Catastrosphe, feeling like a giant load had been lifted, (remember the Frumpy Fairy Godmother's generous bathroom offer) his eyes finally adjusting to the light after being behind the drapes all those days, notices that his one and only round of ammunition is missing from his cartridge belt. Becoming more worried by the minute, and drumming his fingers on his CRS badge (now under his shirt and safely taped to his masculine, hairy Don Knotts chest) the Major tries as hard as he can to remember where he might have dropped it, all to no avail. Then it comes to him. "I'll bet that hoochie coochie coosie that pulled the legs off those poor crabs had something to do with this. Bad enough bein' left afoot without a horse. Can't even imagine bein' left afoot without a foot. With this revelaton, the Major returns to his bathroom to see what he can do to make it more livable until the bunkhouse gets built.
On his way to the Wedgewood privy the CRS guy see's lots of legless crabs in little wheel chairs. ;D
litl rooster finishes stacking the crates behind the barn.Then streches the ropes from the mystrious vessel and ties them off to cure in the sun. Then returns to the barn and begins sharpening and setting the teeth on his hand saw. Then goes to the house and leaves a note on the icebox....Which reads, Delmonico please Trinty to town for a keg of nails (16d's) to use on the bunkhouse. This might also keep him distraccted from the Lumber Slim will be returning with. This place sure could use a bunkhouse....Lot of folks have showed up here since I wander in looking for Cattle theifs. Still I can't help but think the guy in the Painting and the so called Major from CRS are supicious but they are amuzing....
Not being privy to what went on in the privy, Major C. erronelusly thought those poor wheelchair-bound critters were sand dollars, never once thinking anyone could be so heartless as to try and "get a leg up" at some poor crab's expense. Having trouble remembering what he was supposed to be angry about, he returned to his bathroom, a place of comfort, and to search for his now missing CRS badge. Bulletless and badgeless, how much farther could he sink? Maybe he could learn to carpenter?
<What will the poor fella do when he notices the Wedgewood Wather Closet has the same pattern as the fancy Wedgewood china in the dining room. The ultimate in 19th century fancy. delmonico spent the money from his Wyoming Diamond mine well. And best of all the englishmen never tried to get his money back, Slim did well when he salted the mine. ;D ;D ;D>
Quote from: Capt. Hamp Cox on August 04, 2005, 06:35:39 PM
Not being privy to what went on in the privy, Major C. erronelusly thought those popor wheelchair-bound critters were sand dollars, never once thinking anyone could be so heartless as to try and "get a leg up" at some poor crab's expense. Having trouble remembering what he was supposed to be angry about, he returned to his bathroom, a place of comfort, and to search for his now missing CRS badge. Bulletless and badgeless, how much farther could he sink? Maybe he could learn to carpenter?
while reaching for his paper towels to mop up the desk...litl rooster notices Delmonico's new post.
Quote from: Delmonico on August 04, 2005, 07:15:13 PM
<What will the poor fella do when he notices the Wedgewood Wather Closet has the same pattern as the fancy Wedgewood china in the dining room. The ultimate in 19th century fancy. delmonico spent the money from his Wyoming Diamond mine well. And best of all the englishmen never tried to get his money back, Slim did well when he salted the mine. ;D ;D ;D>
Capt. or is it Major (I am so confussed) Don't be surprized if you see the soup ladle in the Wather Closet... The one piece that did not come with the China was the Soup tourine ;D
That's cause I normally make stews ya can put on a plate! ;D Ma gravy fer biscuits can be stacked and eaten like a samwhich. ;D
<litl rooster is that the same roll or did you use it up? ;D
"Pssht! Ol' Trinity makes a soup you can put on a plate too when in the Wedgywood room! If'n ya wan' a samwich, gimme some braid next tahm Ah go in thar. Heck, ya might git a sur-prize and git some corn with it!"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother comes back in to see the crowd gathered around the bathroom door.
"Get away from there!" She flaps her apron at them. "Don't you want your privacy when you use the privy?"
She looks at them and does a mental head count, then her brows furrow. "Is he still in there?" She turns and gives a gentle tap on the door. "Are you all right?"
Quote from: litl rooster on August 04, 2005, 06:30:31 PM
litl rooster finishes stacking the crates behind the barn.Then streches the ropes from the mystrious vessel and ties them off to cure in the sun. Then returns to the barn and begins sharpening and setting the teeth on his hand saw. Then goes to the house and leaves a note on the icebox....Which reads, Delmonico please Trinty to town for a keg of nails (16d's) to use on the bunkhouse. This might also keep him distraccted from the Lumber Slim will be returning with. This place sure could use a bunkhouse....Lot of folks have showed up here since I wander in looking for Cattle theifs. Still I can't help but think the guy in the Painting and the so called Major from CRS are supicious but they are amuzing....
Standing at the sign for a half hour, Trinity finally is able to make out the words that direct him to go to town to get supplies for the next project.
"Yeeeehaw! (http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/happy/54.gif) A project! Ah'm gonna outdo mahsef this tahm. (http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/tools/2.gif) Them folks really liked mah greenhouse, but they gonna
really lahk this'un!" (http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/food/24.gif)
Quote from: AnnieLee on August 04, 2005, 07:57:34 PM
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother comes back in to see the crowd gathered around the bathroom door.
"Get away from there!" She flaps her apron at them. "Don't you want your privacy when you use the privy?"
She looks at them and does a mental head count, then her brows furrow. "Is he still in there?" She turns and gives a gentle tap on the door. "Are you all right?"
Through the door came the reply "Why yes mamm, I am, moved in here just like you said I could. Sure is nice, but I think I'm stuck in this waterin' trough in here. Fell asleep trying to figure out why you folks are being so nice to me and why I'm here. Sure be willing to help out around here if someone could get my foot unstuck and get me out of here. Bet I could learn to do things at least as well as that Trinity feller. Sometimes think he's near as bad off as I am."
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother starts to open the bathroom door, then remembers the man inside was using the privy and quickly steps away. She asks one of the present bohunks, who showed up on receiving word about a bunkhouse, to go help the man. Toby the bohunk peeks in the room, then goes in to lift the Major out of the toilet, but his foot is stuck fast. Cliff, Mike's brother, goes in to help and he is followed by his younger brother, Zeppo. The bohunks are not small men, but they somehow manage to pack themselves into the bathroom around the Major.
"Can I help? Can I get you anything?" The Frumpy Fairy Godmother calls out to the bodies. There is the distinct sound of a horn honking, twice.
"And two hard boiled eggs!" Zeppo calls back. The Frumpy Fairy Godmother is puzzled by this request, but she goes to the kitchen to get the eggs.
There is mayhem in the bathroom, with twisting and scuffling, lifting and tugging, but the foot is finally freed with a loud *POP*, and the four men tumble out of the bathroom and into the hallway.
By the time the Frumpy Fairy Godmother returns, the bohunk brothers have shown the Major his correct room, the one with a bed instead of a toilet.
Delmonico goes out and notices the coal oil barrel is almost empty and Trinity has left for down. He has one of the hired men fell a large cotton wood tree, while he goes to the blacksmith shop and fires up the forge. ??? ??? ??? ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother wanders into the kitchen to make fresh coffee.
"Morning, Letch!" She sings out as she passes the painting on the wall. While the coffee brews, she starts making biscuits.
Quote from: AnnieLee on August 05, 2005, 06:00:10 AM
"Morning, Letch!" She sings out as she passes the painting on the wall. While the coffee brews, she starts making biscuits.
HEY! My name ain't Letcht!
I'm (spoken very fast) Pablo Miguel Jorge Alonzo Garcia Perez Canabarro Esteban de Montya Balboa y Montalban. ;D
< Don't ask me to repeat this name, cause I won't remember it ;D >
But you can call me Gomez; Gomez Addams ;D
Her hands pause as she kneads the dough. That name was spoken so quickly, she could not catch all of it.
"Ok... so, good morning, Pablo somethingsomething Cranberry somethingsomething Montalban! What do you prefer to be called?" Her fingers resume their work in the dough.
(Author's note: Grrr!! I didn't see that! Was someone editing their post when I wasn't looking, hmmmm?? The current avatar is below. )
"Ok, Gomer."
She cuts out the biscuits and places them in the oven.
Quote from: AnnieLee on August 05, 2005, 07:20:07 AM
(Author's note: Grrr!! I didn't see that! Was someone editing their post when I wasn't looking,
<Author's note. Quien sabe? (spoken in a bad Spanish accent) ;D >
< Author's note too. It's an add on, yes, but done before you posted and before I changed the avatar. Cross my heart>
Quote from: AnnieLee on August 05, 2005, 07:21:18 AM
"Ok, Gomer."
She cuts out the biscuits and places them in the oven.
Gomer? GOMER!?
Duh!
Ya know that's the same thing as homer? Dontcha? ::)
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on August 05, 2005, 08:09:57 AM
Gomer? GOMER!?
Duh!
Ya know that's the same thing as homer? Dontcha? ::)
"Well," she replies as she mixes eggs for omelettes, "Since Homer wrote
The Iliad and
The Odyssey, you should be proud to share his name, Gomer!
"D'oh!" She exclaims as an eggshell drops into the mixture and she bows her head to pick it out.
"He did so!"
She takes the biscuits out of the oven and tosses down the dishtowel, stomping upstairs to her cupola. A few minutes later, she comes back with a pair of books in her hands. Reaching the painting, she shows the covers of the books to the wall.
"See that? It says HOMER right on the covers. I bought these books from that traveling salesman who stopped by here a while back. I think his name was Fortysomething. Anyway. Homer wrote these books!"
She thwaps the wall on his forehead with The Iliad, then goes back to making the omelettes.
"And I never heard of any Mr. Simpson, unless you are talking about that man in Georgia who ran off with Mr. Bouvier's daughter."
Quote from: AnnieLee on August 05, 2005, 09:43:26 AM
"And I never heard of any Mr. Simpson, unless you are talking about that man in Georgia who ran off with Mr. Bouvier's daughter."
Could be. Is her first name Marjorie?
"It could have been. I just heard about it from some cousins who live there. They said she had some very, very strange older twin sisters."
Quote from: AnnieLee on August 05, 2005, 09:43:26 AM
"He did so!"
She thwaps the wall on his forehead with The Iliad, then goes back to making the omelettes.
Now I have an headache. I think I'll have a soothing hand massage
Quote from: AnnieLee on August 05, 2005, 10:04:49 AM
It could have been. I just heard about it from some cousins who live there. They said she had some very, very strange older twin sisters.
That's the one. ;D
Smoke is coming from down by the river where thehired man is now burning and scraping the inside of the large cottonwood log. Delmonico goes into the kitchen caring what looks like a very large fishook that has been straightened, complete with a large barb.
He ignores the FFg talking to the wall where the painting used to be and makes some samwhiches for him and the boat builder. :o ::) ;D One the way to the cottonwood log he spots a nice Ash sapling and cuts it down. ::) ??? ;)
litl rooster watches as Del and his hired man work on the cottonwood boat...He wonders what type of venture he his getting into now. Del did you know....ah never mind if you didn't you'll find out soon enuff.
Delmonico and the hired man finish the boat and usin' a jug of Trinity's Korn, the launch it. The hired man sails it and Demonico gets to the front of the boat with his harpoon tied to a rope. He hollors, "Thar she blows as they head down the Dismal." ;D
Thinkin' there was sumthin in front of 'em, what pore ol' near sited Delmonico was seein' was a big geyser of water, spewin' up through a knot hole he'd overlooked when he was 'posed to be checkin for places what might let in water.
Diggin' in his pocket he drags out a pack of Beeman Chewing Gum, poppin' a piece in his mouth he chews and plugs the whole hole. ;D On down the Dismal he heads, looking fer that white whale. ;D ;D
<Authors note: I got a whole case of Beeman gum, the oldest gum in the world, and I don't mean a display case, but a whole case of display cases. ;D ;D>
Major C., refreshed and clearheaded after the soothing foot bath of the previous evening, wanders outside and down to the edge of the Dismal just in time to see what appeared to be Delmonico and the hired man poling and paddling off on what looks like a big piece of driftwood. Pulling out his spyglass, he is able to determine that it is, in fact, a hollowed out log boat, ridin mighty low in the bow, where Dellmonico is foolhardily standing up and waving a long pole with a metal point on it. Being the astute undercover Cosie Regulation Service (CRS) agent that he prides himself in being, he thinks to himself, "There's something might fishy goin' on here, I wouldn't be at all 'prised if they was goin' frog giggin', but on second thought, that's a mighty heavy frog gig, and some mighty deep water for froggin. Reckon they's any sturgeon in them waters? That's a whale of big spear he's got. I better find some place where I can send a report back to CRS HQ. Heck with that, I ain't been fishin in a long time. Maybe if I can catch up to 'em, they'll let me go along. Heck, maybe I can even bum some gum from 'em. HEY, DELMONICO AND HIRED GUY, WAIT UP FOR ME. I WANNA GO WITH YOU. "
Meanwhile, Trinity has returned from town with a keg of nails, a keg of freshly brewed beer and a ladle. Since Slim will be busy with the birth of child number forty-two, Trinity decided to pick up some lumber while in town too.
The sounds of a happy Trinity could be heard all over the yard. As time progressed, Trinity sang louder and became less coherent. (http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/food/24.gif)
Delmonico and the hired man head back to shore after Delmonico harpoons something in the river and ties it to the back of the SS Cottonwood. ;D ;D ;D
<Fergot to tell you I named it.>
Delmonico and the hired man/able bodied seaman land the SS Cottonwood and the go to the barn and hitch a team of mules.
They use these to drag the largest albino channel catfish ever seen to shore. ;D ;D
<What did you expect a white whale? ;D Do I look like a Capt. Ahab? ;D>
Quote from: Delmonico on August 06, 2005, 01:58:43 PM
Delmonico and the hired man/able bodied seaman land the SS Cottonwood and the go to the barn and hitch a team of mules.
They use these to drag the largest albino channel catfish ever seen to shore. ;D ;D
<What did you expect a white whale? ;D Do I look like a Capt. Ahab? ;D>
There does seem to be a slight family resemblance!? ??? ::) ;D
After passing out several times, Trinity finally finishes his masterpiece of construction.
Trinity stands back and admires his work. He is very proud. He only busted eight of his fingers in building it and could count fifteen splinters (two of which are now festering), a major accomplishment! To make things better, he really got a real bargain on the wood.
(http://stareat.us/eric/images/alaskan-shack.jpg)
Delmonico give the hired man a promotion to Chief Petty Officer in celabration of cathing the large albinot catfish. The start cuttin' it up into albino catfish steaks. <The other White Meat. ;D>
As the work they notice Trinity's buckhouse. The put cotton in their ears so the clank when the FFg whop's him with her skillet won't damage their hearin'. ;D
litl rooster stops in awh....and realizes he will have to tend cattle and work late fixing the the bunk house......Trinty send that one to www.redneckhouse.com..............and also knows he will have to get his scrapbook out and remember how to copy to file.
Delmonico needs a pipe and a parrot in his avaitar now.
other white meat ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother steps out on the porch. Directly in front of her, blocking her view of anything else, is Trinity's newest accomplishment. Though her eyes narrow, she doesn't say a word.
Her hand drifts to her sleeve and she slowly, methodically, draws her wand. Her lips move in unheard words as the wand traces an intricate pattern in front of her.
****POOF****
Trinity's "building" disappears, only to reappear far behind the house, almost out to the pig pens. The place where it was is now sprinkled with glittering sawdust.
Her wand and lips move again, and ALL of Trinity's belongings are seen floating from the window of his room, flying through the air, and landing neatly inside his "bunkhouse." Even his horse and silver gilded saddle are in there.
With a slight smile, she turns to look at a bohunk who is staring slack jawed at her.
"I think the bunkhouse should go over there, don't you?" She points to a cleared area to the right of main house. The bohunk gives a hard swallow and nods his agreement.
Her smile widens as she goes back to the house for her coffee.
after the dust settles and the wand is holstered the new bunk house reappears
coyote pup not included
Seeing first the house that he'd so lovingly built be relegated to the back lot and then his stuff moved in, Trinity became upset.
He stamped his way out to the bunkhouse, spitting on the new one as he passed. Claire, following him, stopped to relieve herself on the ersatz bunkhouse. Trinity went back to his creation and retreived four jugs and a blanket... all of his belongings that the FFG had moved accross the yard... and stamped his way back to the big house and into his room.
"That other stuff were in mah room when Ah moved into it. It's the FFG's fault, she's gonna have ta move it back!" >:( He said to Claire who let out a silent but stern 'Woof' in agreement.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother hears stomping, grumbling and a woof as she is in the kitchen, but she finishes making her coffee and steps back out on the porch. There, instead of seeing the plains, her view is once again blocked, this time by another bunkhouse, albeit a better one than the first.
"Dagnabbit! You don't block a person's view! Bad guys or nasties could put the sneak on us and we'd never see them coming!"
This time, her wand whips out and slashes through the air.
The bunkhouse vanishes, then reappears in the exact spot she had earlier pointed out to the bohunk. Glittering sawdust falls all around her as she stows the wand and dusts off her hands.
"There. That's much better. And it is a lovely bohunkhouse."
Having watched this through his window, Trinity slaps his hand to his forehead. His building now lays crushed underneath the new bunkhouse. :'(
Time and material is the only way to bill this job
(Author's note: Trinity can relax. His bunkhouse was placed behind the mainhouse, out near the pig pens. The other, the NICE bunkhouse was placed to the right of the main house! So there! :P )
Waking refreshed and feeling in full control of his senses (and having difficulty adjusting to that feeling), Capt. Hamp finally finds his badge, bullet, and his other meager possessions and stuffs them in his saddlebags, swims his horses across the Dismal, and heads north, back to Texas, taking the scenic route. With a tear in his eye, he knows he'll always remember the kindness of Miss Annie (discounting the hat hissies), the cooking of Del and Gopher, the education in building techniques provided by Litl Rooster and Trinity, and that kind of "different", ever-changing Mr. Thumbs. Those in the big house and bunkhouse waken to a shouted "Hasta luego, Amigos". Giving the spurs to his horse, he starts the long journey home, dreaming of mesquite smoke and pit cooked cow's head.
Delmonico hollors that dinner is reaty, large catfish streaks. ;D
He is said to see the strange fellar leave, he was wishin' he would have burnt the pile of weeds out behind the barn, before leavin' to burn weeds in Texas. ::) ::) ;D ;)
But Delmonico knows that folks who get "Mad Cow Disease" are seldom rational. ;D ;D :D :D ::) :o :D ;)
Hearing the call, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother runs down from the cupola to the porch.
"Dang, he just got here!"
She yells after the man:
"Come back anytime, we'll have room for you!"
She waves a sad farewell, then stands there, sniffling. She liked the good looking, debonair, and charming man.
Trinity watches the FFG swoon over the man and shakes his head.
...then wonders: "Why's he leavin' anyway?"
Quote from: Trinity on August 07, 2005, 03:17:43 PM
...then wonders: "Why's he leavin' anyway?"
litl rooster wonders who he really is? and yells back to thew Capt/Major "Viya con Dios"
During the night the image on the wall fades away and disappear.
But a coughing sound can still be heard. ::)
That was Ma-skeet-man, is a good thing he left a-fore he went to cutting off and cookin' the heads of our cattle. ;D
But he must go back to Texas, if''n yer gone for more than a week, the Ma-skeet e'll take over yer pasture, the only defense is to BBQ. ;)
The next morning the Frumpy Fairy Godmother heads downstairs to make the coffee. She is still musing over the departure of the mesquite man as she lights the lamps in the kitchen. She looks to the wall, prepared to give the image there a "Good morning!" But the wall is blank. Her face falls and she sighs sadly, then she hears a faint cough.
"Hello? Are you there?"
Yup! ;D
*cough* *cough*
< The air in the kitchen chills a bit >
She wraps her robe a little more tightly around herself.
"You don't sound good. Would you like some tea with honey?"
She doesn't seem to realize that she just offered tea to the wall.
Quote from: AnnieLee on August 08, 2005, 06:31:06 AM
She wraps her robe a little more tightly around herself.
"You don't sound good. Would you like some tea with honey?"
She doesn't seem to realize that she just offered tea to the wall.
Talking to a wall. Tsk, tsk, tsk.
And ya telling me,
I don't sound good? ::)
Her face flushes to a dark pink as her mouth clamps shut. She turns away to make the coffee.
Ya look good in pink. ;D
Is that a vein popping on your forehead? ::)
Smelling the coffee Stoney Pete wanders in from somewhere. He's unsure of where he's been or what he's been doing. He's really not sure what is going on. (Read as Author has not been posting or following along and he is too lazy to read and catch up. ::) )
He pours hisself a cup when he notices the FFG taking to the wall. (http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/think/17.gif) "Do I even want to ask FFG?
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother leans to kiss Stoney Pete on the cheek.
"Well, there was a painting of a man there last week, but now the painting's gone and all that is left is a cough and a voice that's making fun of me."
She darts a glare toward the wall.
"And it's a letch."
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on August 08, 2005, 10:06:28 AM
I am not!
"Are so! I don't dare lean against that wall, you might make a rude noise!"
She looks back to Pete. "He's incorrigible."
Quote from: AnnieLee on August 08, 2005, 10:20:25 AM
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on August 08, 2005, 10:06:28 AM
I am not!
"Are so! I don't dare lean against that wall, you might make a rude noise!"
Who sez I'z near the wall?
<The voice seems to come from the vicinity of the FFG left ear ;D >
Quote from: AnnieLee on August 08, 2005, 10:20:25 AM
"He's incorrigible."
HEY! I resemble that remark. ;D
< The voice now comes from one of the chairs at the table. >
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on August 08, 2005, 10:27:10 AM
Who sez I'z near the wall?
<The voice seems to come from the vicinity of the FFG left ear ;D >
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother makes a tiny, high pitched sound and drops her coffee cup on the counter. Since it's Wedgwood, the cup doesn't break, but coffee flies everywhere.
Quote
HEY! I resemble that remark. ;D
< The voice now comes from one of the chairs at the table. >
She spins around, her skirt hem flying around her ankles, her eyes alarmed and wild.
"Pete, do you hear him, can you
see him?"
Quote from: AnnieLee on August 08, 2005, 10:45:45 AMShe spins around, her skirt hem flying around her ankles, her eyes alarmed and wild.
"Pete, do you hear him, can you see him?"
<Whispered on the FFG's right ear>
Calm down. He can't see me, and I'm not too sure if anyone can hear me besides you. Don't jump around so much or everybody will think you're a fruit cake. ;D
And I'm not the invisible man either, there's no physic presence of me. Just the voice.
At the whisper, she stands shock still, the pink draining from her face, leaving it an unnatural white. Her own voice is the smallest of whispers. "Okie."
You're from Oklhaoma? ;D
Quote from: AnnieLee on August 08, 2005, 10:45:45 AM
"Pete, do you hear him, can you see him?"
"No, I don't hear anything. Though I do not see anyone, with everything I HAVE seen around here I'd not dare say he/it wasn't real. I never met a fairy god mother till you, I never saw a man turned to a leach till ST and Dell, and I never seen a plate come from the sky till one took Del. Nope, this place has some unique characteristics. I'll never say, "It don't exist.", again."
Stoney walks out on the porch and sees a new building over yonder and what looks like a not so new building by the pigs. "Yep, the more things change, the more they remain the same."
Pete sits on the porch and listens real hard for voices. That is other than those he talks with every morning. He lights his pipe.
She gives another tiny squeak as Pete leaves her alone with the voice. Her hand starts to flail after him, then drops to her side. No "fruit cake" for her. She whispers again.
"No, I am not from Oklahoma! What would make you think that?"
Quote from: AnnieLee on August 08, 2005, 11:12:50 AM"No, I am not from Oklahoma! What would make you think that?"
The "okie" ;D
She clears her throat and reaches for her coffee, but it is spilt on the countertop. She distractedly picks up a dish cloth and starts mopping up the mess.
"That's how I say 'ok' sometimes."
Stoney heard. Two distinct voices. One male and one the FFG. The male voice was that of the painting before all them dogs playin poker. 'The pipe helped.', He thought.
"FFG, you not alone. The voice is audible. Either that or this "tobbacco" from the indian cheif is more than it appears."
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on August 08, 2005, 11:24:58 AM
I see. ;D
On hearing that, she doesn't say anything, she just cleans harder and faster, but her free hand clenches her robe a little more tightly around her.
Quote from: stoneypete on August 08, 2005, 11:34:01 AM
Stoney heard. Two distinct voices. One male and one the FFG. The male voice was that of the painting before all them dogs playin poker. 'The pipe helped.', He thought.
"FFG, you not alone. The voice is audible. Either that or this "tobbacco" from the indian cheif is more than it appears."
She calls out: "Okie!" Then clears her throat, "OK! Thank you, Pete!"
Listenin' to all this Delmonico decides to go to Dunning and catch the train, between folks talkin' to pictures, Slim leavin' in the middle of the week and the fella that eats cow heads cooked over weeds, ;D it's time for a rest. They never even notice he caught Moby George the Great White Catfish that's been sinkin' ships on the Dismal. ;D
right now even being takin' by the flying plates sounds good. ::)
(Author's note: Oh, dagnabbit!! I had a long post about her and eating the catfish, and now I don't see it! :( Sorry about that, Delmonico! :( )
litl rooster comes in from a long day of herd work, and a meeting with the Building Inspector (Bob Villa) for the final on the new Bunk House.. Walking by Stoney Pete who is sitting with his pipe enjoying the coffee, I announce the Bunkhouse in the front passed the inspection. The one in the back well ah a ..........I pour myself a cup of coffee and look in the icebox for leftover catfish. It's all gone... Leaving as I past where the picture hung last week I see the image of something begin to appear...........
Delmonico sets up camp about 15 miles down river and enjoys the peace and quiet and the simple sanity of a sandhills evening. ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother smooches Litl Rooster's cheek when she meets him in the hallway.
"Yer grubby, so it must've been a good day."
She makes her way to the porch by going through the parlor and bypassing the kitchen.
Delmonico lays on his blankets and looks at the stars. He thinks about how quiet it is out here, not crazy like it is back at the ranch. It is a bit lonely, he wishes he had a wallet sized talkin' picture though. ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on August 09, 2005, 12:25:02 AM
Delmonico lays on his blankets and looks at the stars. He thinks about how quiet it is out here, not crazy like it is back at the ranch. It is a bit lonely, he wishes he had a wallet sized talkin' picture though. ;D
Want to watch the first season of "Nebrassky" on dvd? ;D ;D
Scattered Thumbs watches with interest the new picture forming on the wall.
Now, who the heck is he? He asks.
Not me fer sure. It may not seem possible now, but at that age my hair was still almost blond.
Stoney becomes aware that he's spent the night in the chair on the porch. "Gonna talk to the chief about that Tobacco. I wonder if he got the regular stuff mixed up with the vision quest weed."
As Stoney forced his stiff body into the kitchen he heard the voice saying,
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on August 09, 2005, 03:58:54 AM
Now, who the heck is he? He asks.
Not me fer sure. It may not seem possible now, but at that age my hair was still almost blond.
OK, Stoney thought, it weren't the weed. He starts making coffee and fries up some bacon and eggs. Taking his breakfast out the porch, Stoney sits back in his chair and eats while he waits for the rest of the world to wake up.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother sleepily walks into the kitchen, she doesn't look at the wall. A faint smile appears as she sees breakfast and coffee are already made, so she serves herself some, then gets some milk from the icebox to add to her coffee.
Ah! There you are! ;D
Do ya now that young feller on the wall?
"Gak!" She jumps a little, then reluctantly turns to look at the wall.
"Don't sneak up on me like that. No, I don't know him. That isn't you?"
Quote from: AnnieLee on August 09, 2005, 07:12:45 AM
"Gak!" She jumps a little, then reluctantly turns to look at the wall.
"Don't sneak up on me like that. No, I don't know him. That isn't you?"
Nope, that ain't me. That's why I'm asking.
And I didn't sneak on you, I was already here. ;D
"Well, goody goody for you!" She gives a sniff and takes her breakfast and coffee out on the porch.
"Morning, Pete, thanks for the breakfast!"
"Morning. That voice won't go away huh?" >:(
"Well you could always make friends. Look at is this way, well never be lonely in the kitchen." ::)
< ST thinking to himself >
I wonder if they think I'm confined to the kitchen? ;D
I just hang here cause I like the smell of coffee. ;D
I don't go into their private quarters because I firmly believe that they are private .
As if on cue, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother inhales the scent of her coffee then has a sip. Darting a look to the kitchen, she whispers to Pete, "he does have to stay in the kitchen, doesn't he?"
You could have asked me directly. ;D
And the answer is no, I don't have to stay in the kitchen. ;D
<the voice is now on the porch>
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother drops her fork in startlement. Duke leaps foward and starts to clean the eggs from the fork.
"I... I thought you were in th... th kitchen, I.. I didn't know you could hear me," she stammers.
Delmonico gets to Dunning in the afternoon. He checks into the hotel and changes into his suit and heads out onto the street. He stops and buys a yaller paper rose from a little old lady. Heck it only cost a dime. ;D
He heads down the street to find a nice place to have a fine meal and suddenly that durn blue light comes down, he is abducted by the flyin' plates, right on main street in Dunning. ::) ::) ;)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother is looking out over the yard, past the clothesline where some bedding is drying. As she looks, there is a pale blue glow and Delmonico's purple quilt vanishes from the clothesline.
"Oh, no, they've got him again!" And she bursts into tears.
litl rooster is cussing Dos behind the barn as he tries to nail his last shoe on, notice the pale blue lights wisk Del away...wishing to himself they would take this cantankorus horse insted. Delmonico could be a little crotchity but is at least entertaining especially in his new duds. Going back to the Big House I pass Stoney and FFg eating their morning meal, and bid them a good day. Pour myself a cup of coffee. Turning to the picture on the wall I speak to ST,
ST, voce necessita para dizer esta historias que nao sao sea restrato e para tambem tentar dirigir Senorita FFg louco. I visto lhe sobre no Longbranch hoje e eu sabem que os seus no ate bom (authors note, he doesn't know how to use accent functions please forgive me)
Trinity is busy eating a plateful of bacon and an egg when the strange blue lights catch his attention as well. He shoves four strips into his mouth and stands and looks out the window when he notices the FFG sobbing in the yard.
Immediately, Trinity rushes outside to console the FFG and to find out what has happened. "Del is a tough ol' feller! He'll be fine an' back afore we even know it! ...Heck, he's prolly makin' them flyin' fellers time a rough one already!"
Stoney sees the blue light in the distance and mutters under his breath. "Hey Del, your ride is here." ;D Seeing the FFG upset, Stoney keeps his humor to hisself.
He heads to the pen to slop the hogs.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother turns and weeps against Trinity's shoulder. Her sobs rack her frame as he consoles her and eventually she stills. When she lifts her face, it is grubby from being against his dirty clothing, with clean streaks and smears from her tears. For his part, Trinity's clothing now bears a large wet spot. Her breathing catches like tiny hiccups from the force of her crying as she looks up to him, sniffling.
"Thank you. I think I'll go wash my face and freshen up." She turns to go back into the kitchen.
Meanwhile some thousand miles southwest, in Tombstone Arizona, Scattered Thumbs wakes up at the doctor's where he has been the last five days after he was found out with a gun shot wound.
I was dreaming again about that crazy outfit in Nebraska, he mutters. I wonder who took that pot-shot at me, now that I'm out of the bounty hunting business and all. Scattered Thumbs rolls in his bed and falls asleep again.
When the Frumpy Fairy Godmother returns to the kitchen, her dress and face are clean, though her eyes are still red rimmed from crying. There is an almost expectant hesitation as she enters the room, but she is greeted with silence. Her brow furrows a little as she makes a fresh pot of coffee and starts to make sandwiches for lunch.
Slim drives a wagon fulla White Pine lumber into the yard. He takes the cheese outta his saddle bags and goes into the kitchen.
When Slim enters, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother turns, then sweeps him into a hug. She manages to not start crying all over again as she kisses him on the cheek and explains about Delmonico and the voice in the house, and the bohunkhouse and the not-so-bohunkhouse.
"So, tell me," she asks, clasping his hands in hers, "How is your wife and the Slimettes, did she have the newest baby?"
"Thankee, ma'am, for the nice greeting. Sounds like ya had alot of goin' ons while I was away. The wife had a baby boy a week past. The girls are doing fine and love their new brother."
<Arthur's note: I finally got done readin' all y'all posted since I was gone. I'z tired now. ;D>
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on August 10, 2005, 04:00:29 PM
<Arthur's note: I finally got done readin' all y'all posted since I was gone. I'z tired now. ;D>
I bet not as tired as the Mrs....
litl rooster wonders why someone would take pot shots at Scatter Thumbs, yea he's nerve rackin' with his voice throwing and picture changings...He hasn't collected a Bounty in some time. Surely every one is still locked up or worst. As I sit here pondering these questions, There's one fella who leaves then shows back up out of the Blue, With no explations nodda...Unlike Slim who leading a double life as a father and husband/gunfighter/cheese salesman... Or Delmonico the cosie/seamtress/ Lab experiment, or even Trinty who is charge of his own Distillry and quality control director to boot. I can accont for ever one except........
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on August 10, 2005, 04:00:29 PM
<Arthur's note: I finally got done readin' all y'all posted since I was gone. I'z tired now. ;D>
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Trinity enters the kitchen and slices himself a hunk of cheese. He has a large spot on his shoulder that oddly, appears cleaner than the rest of his body.
"This shore is some good eatin' cheese, Slim!"
Slim CONGRATS on the new little one!!!!
What the count now 400 girls and 1 boy?
<<It prolly feels that way sometimes. ;D>>
Quote from: Trinity on August 10, 2005, 09:48:27 PM
<<It prolly feels that way sometimes. ;D>>
... to Mrs. Slim.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother grins widely.
No one noticed the blue light near Lincoln last night. Delmonico talked the little green men into spending a night takin' in the sights of the Capital City before beginin' the probin. ;D :( ::)
However the blue light comes down in the early mornin' hours out west of town, just south of the salt flats. ;D ;)
<Hope to be back in a few days.>
Meanwhile in Tombstone Scattered Thumbs woke up again only to find two men by his bed. One of them was rather short but fierce looking, the other one much taller, and rather young with an embarrassed look on him. The first man spoke. Morning Mister, glad to see you're feeling better. My name is John Slaughter and I'm the Deputy Sheriff for the Cochise County. I was investigating the place where you got shot, when a bullet passed whizzing over my head. Then I found this dime novel readin' would be gunslinger practicing with his guns. He admitted he'd been practicing also the day you were shot, so most likely it was him who shot you, but he wasn't meaning to shoot you.
At this the young fellow stammered. Ah, I'm very sorry about that Mister it was not my intention. I've already arranged with the doctor to bill me for all your expenses. Once again I'm very sorry.
Scattered Thumbs smiled weakly as he said. Well, there was no permanent harm done, and you didn't mean to shoot no one.
After that the two men left, leaving Scattered Thumbs with his own thoughts. Shot by mistake by a teenage boy, I really must be getting old.
Quote from: gophergrease on August 10, 2005, 09:21:35 PM
Slim CONGRATS on the new little one!!!!
What the count now 400 girls and 1 boy?
"Yep!" ;D
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on August 11, 2005, 09:59:24 AM
Quote from: gophergrease on August 10, 2005, 09:21:35 PM
Slim CONGRATS on the new little one!!!!
What the count now 400 girls and 1 boy?
"Yep!" ;D
I'z got 200 girls in 0 boys. :o
Slim and Stoney I feel for yous...you might want to hide in the new bohunkhouse ;D
Quote from: litl rooster on August 11, 2005, 06:42:20 PM
Slim and Stoney I feel for yous...you might want to hide in the new bohunkhouse ;D
I was raised with 3 sisters and no brothers. At least I had boot camp growing up. ;D
A new day and the Frumpy Fairy Godmother wanders into the kitchen. She makes the coffee and breakfast with an occassional glance to the now blank wall. It's quiet in there and once in a while she gives a small sigh.
Taking her coffee with her, she glides out to the porch and sits in her rocker.
<Arthur's note. The wall isn't blank. There's a portrait of Carl Switzer (I didn't find out who it was by myself, Litl Rooster told me ;D ) on the wall. Litl Rooster keeps saying it's me, but it isn't >
< Author's note: She's looking for the one that coughed. The static painting doesn't count in her mind. :P >
< Arthur's note. You mean the astral projection of the nitwit that managed to get himself shot by mistake in Arizona? He'll show up again eventually >
<Author's note: Phooey! He's no nitwit! Hard to protect yourself against something you don't know exists. I think the Frumpy Fairy Godmother liked him, not that she'd admit it! >
Slim walks into the kitchen and pours himself a cup of coffee. He walks out on the porch. "Mornin', FFg."
litl rooster notices the pile of mesquite the Capt/Major left behind. He picks some up and smells it, then decides that you don't have to be from Texas to BBQ, and starts a fire in the pit. After washing out the fine you hen turkey he roped this morning, (was in the corn patch) he places it over the fine bed of coals. and adds some of the brushy mesquite to it. This should delight the others when I carry it to the house.
Smelling the scent of burning mesquite, Trinity rushes over to the pit and watches the goings on.
"Say, Litl Rooster, are you gonna smoke some sausages an' bris-kit?? (http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/happy/10.gif)(http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/happy/10.gif)
Nope just this very large chicken I found stealin yer coen this morning. Bris kit is for specially holidays.
Stoney rides back to the ranch after a depressing weekend seeking realestate. :'( The Lord will provide he reminds himself.
Seeing nobody up and about on the Ranch he makes coffee and biscuts with gravy. Fries up a few eggs and sausage and bacon.
He sets him self out on the porch with his breakfast and watches the day get light.
Slim hides up to the porch. "Mornin', Stoney. Any breakfast left?" He jumps offa the horse and grabs his saddlebags which are full of Wiscooooooooooooooosin cheese. He walks up the steps to the porch.
litl rooster ties his horse in front of the house, goes in and cuts a chunk of left over Turkey off and a slice of the cheese and puts it in one of Stoney Pete's biscuits. Carefully wraps it in his bandana andwalks back out to his waiting horse. After carefully stowing it in his saddlebags, he draws the latigo snug. Untiyin' Dos,....I wish the others in the house ga dae...Stepping into the stirrup I feel his back arch...It's going to be fun I can tell already. It's late summer and the grass is beginning to get short, We'll go shorten the herd up and get them ready to ship in a month... I yell back to the house Adios has Dos hops his way off. d#%* horse
"New moring and nothin' was done around here yesterday. It's right quiet when Del is taken by the plates and the FFG not around.", Stoney thinks.
He gets up and makes breakfast, (adding some of Slims cheese to the eggs), though not as much this time in case folks don't showup.
After eating he slops the pigs, milches the cow and gathers the eggs.
He warshes up pours another cup o joe and sits on the porch.
Slim goes into the kitchen and pours a cup of coffee. He goes out to the porch and takes a seat. "Thanks fer milchin' the cow and gatherin' eggs, Stoney."
After spending all day sitting on the porch doing nothing Stoney eats a small supper and heads into bed.
litl rooster returns to the barn feeds and currys his horse then turns him out. Notices the gate near the hog pen is knock over. Seeing 2 of the piglets have gotten out he goes to the crib and gets a handfull of corn in a bucket and lures them back in. Then re hangs the gate. Mumbling under his breathe he ain't no durn hog farmer, goes back to the barn. Looks like rain tonight, think I'll see if there is any coffee left inside. Half a cup, Stoney Pete is snoring upstairs Slim and Trinty and FFg are no where around and Delmonico has not returned yet. I believe I'll go out and sleep in the barn. It will be quite there if they return.
Stoney wakes up. It's quiet still. He goes down stairs and place is still deserted. Even that voice on the wall ain't spoke in a few days.
Stoney feeds the dogs and then starts on some breakfast. He cooked for two incase someone else was around. Taking he breakfast back to the porch and see's Slim still sitting there. Asleep now.
"Hey Slim, I made breakfast. I got a feeling the FFG may show up today. It sure is loney here when she and Del are gone.
"Waaa? Oh, Stoney. Good morning. Thanks for the breakfast." Slim goes in the kitchen, pours coffee, fills a plate, and goes back to the porch for a sit.
As Slim sits and sips his coffee, there is a scattering of glittering sawdust that floats down around his shoulders like very fancy dandruff. The Frumpy Fairy Godmother is standing behind him and she bends to kiss the top of his head. Her smile is languid and she has new freckles on her nose and cheekbones.
"~Morning, Slim~" Her voice has a relaxed lilt to it.
"Good thing ya warned me with that fairy dust er I might've had to change me drawers. Welcome back, ma'am." ;D
"Thank you, Slim, it's good to be back. Is there fresh coffee and any food made? I am ravenous!"
"Stoney put on coffee and made some breakfast a bit ago."
"Thank you, dear."
She drifts away to the kitchen and pours some coffee, adding some milk from the icebox.
"Did that voice ever show up again?" She calls to the porch.
"I haven't heard it in a few days."
"Okie." She takes out a biscuit and slathers butter on it and tops it with blackberry jelly. After a moment of contemplation, she fixes another biscuit, this time with slices of bacon and eggs on top. Bundling the food in a napkin, she takes it and her coffee to sit outside with Slim.
"Any sign of Delmonico, yet? Those plates have had him a long time."
"No sign of Del or the plates, but I'z ready fer the plates this time." ;D ;D ;D
As her feet dangle from the front of the porch, she casts a sidelong look to Slim. "Did you get something new?"
"No, I'z got GG's present from the future setup in front of the winder waitin' fer 'em." ;D
She turns to look at him, mid-chew. She starts to say something, but remembers she has food in her mouth. She chews furiously, washing down some of it with her coffee.
"The window? Not the window in front of my cupola? Will my bed be covered with spent ammunition again?"
She's been back ten minutes and already the relaxation is starting to leave her face.
"No, no. It's in my room."
"Oh! Goodie!" Her smile reappears and she swings her legs back and forth like a small child as she takes another bite of biscuit.
The blue light appears behind the barn and Delmonico runs to the house in anothe backward night shirt, his arse hangin' out. ;D In his arms are two wooden cases that he carries into the kitchen. He stops long enough to open a case and put the green bottles in the icebox to chill.
"There's lemon soda in the icebox, a present from the flying plate folks. It is pretty good stuff, had a bottle of it Sunday evenin'. Help your selves."
He then heads to his office and slams the door.
The last glimpse the Frumpy Fairy Godmother gets of Delmonico is of his behind as he closes the door.
"My eyes!!" She groans, "I think I've gone blind!"
When her vision clears, she looks to the icebox. Slim also looks at the icebox. Then they look at each other, then at the icebox again. The same lightbulb goes off over both of their heads and they speak in gleeful unison:
"Give them to Trinity!"
Slim runs up to his room to see if he can get a few shots at the flying plate 'fore it disappears. He looks out the winder and can't see the plate. He goes sulking back to the porch. :( :( :(
Slim yells to Del, "Glad ta see ya back. I hear tell some buffalo runners use that 'lemon sodie' ta clean their rifles." ;D ;D ;D ;D
litl rooster hears a comotion coming from the office in the house he ;D knowing the Blue plate have returned Delmonico...wondering if there is any Biscuits left he mosy to the house...Noticing sawdust on the porch floor he knows the others have returned also. Seeing a strange contraption in the window of Slim's room he ponders what in the Sam Hill it is?
With FFG back and Del back life starts getting normal.
Knowing what hunter sometimes used to clean their Buffalo rifles made Stoney want nothing to do with the bottles. That is till Trinity tries them. ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gets up from the porch and gives the crumbs of her biscuits to Daisy. She wanders to Delmonico's door where Duke is patiently scratching for entrance and gives it a tap or four.
"I saw you brought back your quilt, mind handing it to me so I can wash it? And are you going to want dinner?" She calls through the closed door.
Delmonico hands her the quilt and is now wearin' his red flannel night shirt. ;D
Before he can close the door in her face, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother hugs him. She hugs him long and hard, smiling against him. Duke scampers into the room.
"Welcome back, Delmonico."
Being the first up again, Stoney feeds the dogs and starts making breakfast. Since everyone has been showin' up as of late he put on two pots of coffee (http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/food/42.gif) and starts water to boil as some may want tea.
Lots of (http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/food/59.gif) with extra bacon. (http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/food/49.gif) freash for the oven with lots of butter. He put some of Slims cheese on the table. Not knowing who or how many will be here, he doesn't set the table but puts a stack of plates near the stove.
With a plate full of eggs and bacon, fresh buscuts and butter, Stoney grabs a cup of Coffee and head out to his seat on the porch to watch the morning happen.
Maybe someone will even talk to me today.
Pete is soon joined on the porch by the Frumpy Fairy Godmother who is carrying her own plate of food and a carefully balanced mug of coffee. "Morning, Pete!" She sings out as she sits in her chair. "Has there been any sign of Trinity?"
"No sign for days. Maybe he's fixin' more squeezin's at one of the stills."
" I hope so. I hope he hasn't been bushwacked in a gully someplace." She pauses and sips her coffee. "Maybe he took off after the wagon ladies again. Is his horse and saddle here?"
Slim walks into the kitchen and sees that Stoney fixed breakfast agin. He pours coffee, gets a plate of grub, and walks onto the porch. "Morning y'all. Thanks fer the coffee and grub, Stoney." He takes a seat on the porch and begins to break the fast.
Authors note: In which dirrection is this here porch facing? I just want to know if I get to watch the sunrise or the sunset.
Back to the Story.
"Moring Slim. Have you any word from Trinity? Speaking of how folks are doing, is Del gonna need any special treatment the next few days?"
(Arthur's note: It faces south so ya can watch both. ;D )
"No word from Trinity in 'bout a week. It appears that Del is doing fine."
(The place where everyone normally sits faces east, but idf I remember right the porch goes clear around the house. I also left a messages on Trinity's cell phone to let us know if everything is OK)
Delmonico gets up late and already has coffee from his office. ;D ;D ;D (He keeps a stash of the good stuff)
"While I was gone I realized what is wrong with the economy of this country. We base it on gold and not silver, we are being crucifed on a cross of gold." ;D ;D
(Slim, drag up a William Jenningsd Bryan link, I watched the sun come up over his be-loved Fairview two morings this week. The hospital is doing restoration work on it right now. ;))
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother grins to Pete as she rises.
"Coddling Delmonico would be like trying to hug a porcupine. Might end up getting hurt."
She takes her dirty dishes to the sink then wanders off to the garden.
QuoteThe "Cross of Gold Speech" is William Jennings Bryan's most well-known political speech. Recorded in 1921, the speech was originally delivered before the democratic convention in 1896 and highlights the politician's not only populist stance, but his strong position on the issue of the "Gold-Standard." In his strident attack on the concept that gold was the only sound backing for currency, Jennings Bryan speaks here for the "broader class" of businessmen across the country, specifically farmers, agricultural workers, miners and small town merchants. These workers, he argues, are all but ignored by a government that serves the interests of big cities and large corporate enterprise. It is the "real" business men of the small town and agricultural communities that inherit and demonstrate the true "pioneer spirit" of America: "They tell us that the great cities are in favor of the gold standard. We reply that our great cities rest upon our broad and great prairies. Burn down your cities and leave our farms, and your cities will spring up again as if by magic; but destroy our farms, and the grass will grow in the streets of every city of the country." Jennings Bryan closed with the admonition, "you shall not press upon the bow of labor this crown of thorns, you shall not crucify mankind upon a cross of gold." This speech was profoundly effective, and though the politician was only 36 years old, he was nominated by the delegates as their candidate for president.
(http://www.nebraskahistory.org/images/histpres/nebraske/11639.jpg)
Fairview
<Ain't that a beutiful house to watch a sunrise over, my room was about 25 yards to the left part of that picture which must be from about 1980. Today if you took that angle you would see much more hospital, that is the east sidehere is the south.
http://websearch.cs.com/wm/boomframe.jsp?query=Bryan+LGH+Hospital&page=1&offset=1&result_url=redir%3Fsrc%3Dwebsearch%26requestId%3D10ad1f2cd3253161%26clickedItemRank%3D1%26userQuery%3DBryan%2BLGH%2BHospital%26clickedItemURN%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.bryanlgh.org%252F%26invocationType%3D-%26fromPage%3Dwmthomepage%26amp%3BampTest%3D1&remove_url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.bryanlgh.org%2F
I hope that works. ;D>
ah never mind
Delmonico puts a bottle of good Holland gin in the icebox with the lemon soda, it will be a good mix for Trinity when he gets back. ??? ::)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother brings in Delmonico's quilt from the line. The strange orange-ish stains, probably there from his being probed, have been washed out. With a small smile, she taps his doorknob with her wand and the door swings open for her. She places the quilt on his bed, then backs out of the room and relocks it.
"I wonder if he's feeling good enough to cook tonight?"
Quote from: AnnieLee on August 19, 2005, 03:20:53 PM
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother brings in Delmonico's quilt from the line. The strange orange-ish stains, probably there from his being probed, have been washed out. With a small smile, she taps his doorknob with her wand and the door swings open for her. She places the quilt on his bed, then backs out of the room and relocks it.
"I wonder if he's feeling good enough to cook tonight?"
Roast and Yukon Golds (my favorites) I just want to know if it's ready yet?
Delmonico comes out with the pot roast. "Sadly there were no parsnips at the store today, I love parsnips in my roast." >:(
Stopped at Food Lion, sorry not much of a choice without driving another 15 miles. They had Parsnip in the produce isle. Grandma use to pickle them like beets, never cared fer either.
<Authors note: Parsnips were often planted in the late summer and allowed to freeze in the groud, they could then be dug when the ground thawed to provide much needed vitimans in the spring. They kept better this way than in a root cellar. ;)>
A haggard Trinity walks into the yard and up the steps of the porch and heads straight for the hammock. He's wearing only one boot... again, half of his shirt is torn and his pants are missing.
Delmonico looks out of his office at Trinity, he decides he looks better than most of the time when he's been gone for days to places unkown. :o
"Trinity, the flyin' plate folks gave me some cases of lemon soda, there are some in the ice box along with some Holland Gin. They might be good together."
Delmonico goes back into his office and is heard to sing, "Rock of ages, cleft for me." and "The wise man built his house upon the rock, the wise man built his house upon the rock."
Trinity thanks Del for his offer. That sounds just like what he needs to knock the 'edge' off. He staggers into the kitchen and opens the door to the icebox. He takes the Gin and a bottle of soda and returns to the hammock. He takes a hard slug on the gin, lets it sit in his mouth then swallows. Then he follows it with soda.
He yells back into the house: "Thankee Del., This here is a good combination!"
"I'm glad you like it, it's French I think, look at the label, that sounds like a French name." Trinity looks at the label, Citrate de Magnesia. ::) ::) :o :o :o :o
"They flyin' plate folks showed it to me, it's good fer what ails ya, better even than castor oil, less cramps." ;D ;D :D
scratchin' my head wondering why Trinty would add that juice to his Gin ??? :o
Quote from: Delmonico on August 21, 2005, 02:17:16 AM
"I'm glad you like it, it's French I think, look at the label, that sounds like a French name." Trinity looks at the label, Citrate de Magnesia. ::) ::) :o :o :o :o
It's
Latin Woodrow....
well it means......It's a motto
"Welcome home Trin. I was half expecting you to have a wagon load of squeezin's from one of the stills. Is there a story behind havin' one boot?"
Before answerin' Stoney Pete, Trinity heads to the bushes at a trot. ::)
GG returns from his weekend of shooting them little dogs, that live in hole all over the prarie.
He askes Del, "should I have kept some of them, we could cook them up for Trinity?"
By the way Del, that big Sharps rifle was just the right thing to use. Had three of them critters siten on top there hill about 100 yards out. Hit the dirt in frount of them and had 12 legs in the air twichen.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother sees Trinity and starts to move to hug him, but the smell reaches her first and then he's gone off into the bushes. She stares after him for a moment, then smiles and hugs Gopher Grease.
When Slim gets home tomorrow, the whole family... well, except for our ghostly visitor and that Major-Captain somebody... will be home!
Slim rides in. "Howdy y'all. Why is Trinity in the bushes?"
<Arthur's note: GG, that is like barkin' a tree rat. Is it called "grounding". ;D >
<Author's note: Often Prairie Poodle or Sod Poodle, many other names unreapeteble here by rachers have 1/4 sections of holes and no grass in their pastures. Athough there is some contriversy by some, I think it was bested summed up by a rancher several years ago. "I'll tolerate all prairie dogs when the big city folks quit killing cockroaches and rats." The rifle is an enviromently friendly way to thin the towns. Most ranchers do not want them gone, but they also have to have room for cattle.>
Just for fun we will be having prairie dog stew and armadillo pot pie for supper tonight.
Save me some Armidilla please
Delmonico heads to his office and slams the door shut. (He has a stash of food in there.) ;D
Breathless, Trinity comes out of the bushes "Ah'll have me some stew please Gophergrease! Ah just made plenty of room... thanks to Del!
Hey there stoneypete! Sooo, you wanna know what Ah've been up to, huh? Wail.... Jest haid over yonder (points east) 'bout a few hours ride an' you'll come upon a wagon with a bunch of ... uh... wiminfolks. Ask fer Mrs. Kate Collingwood an' tell her Trinity sent ya. ;D ;D ;D ;D"
me thinks Trinty is feelin' better.
<I think he ain't "stoned" no more. Hopefully I'm done bein' probed. ::)>
"So's you come acrossed a wagon load of ladies. Well, I'll stay right here and take your word for it."
Stoney makes breafast using bacon, buscuts and eggs, instead of leftover prairie dog and armadillo. Lots of coffee 'cuz everyone is home.
Capt. Hamp, swimming his horses across the Dismal for the seventeenth time, finally realizes there's a strong possibility he might be going in circles. Approcaching a familiar looking homestead, he pulls out his spyglass and surveys the area. His face brightens when he sees Del, finally off probebation, and Trinity, looking only slightly less stoned than he remembered. Miss Annie, looking beautiful as ever, appeared to be suffering from conestoga lag and family reunion overload, however. And sure enough, there was old reliable litl rooster with that coffee pot in his hand, making sure all the folks got their eye opener on time. Mouth watering at the thought of Pete's armadillo dish, but knowing he was already way past due back in Tejas, Capt. Hamp swims his horses across the Dismal again, vowing to make it back before the warranty runs out on his saddle horse.
<Authors note: It is possible to cross the Disimal 17 times and be travelin' in a straight line. ;D>
Quote from: Delmonico on August 23, 2005, 09:41:29 AM
<Authors note: It is possible to cross the Disimal 17 times and be travelin' in a straight line. ;D>
<Arthur's note: No wonder they named it Dismal. ;D >
Slim walks into the kitchen fer coffee and grub. "Mornin' disembodied voice." ;D He pours a cup and fills a plate with grub.
<Arthur's note: What fine ears you have m'boy. :o Since you can ear the author's notes ;D >
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on August 23, 2005, 11:01:48 AM
<Arthur's note: What fine ears you have m'boy. :o Since you can ear the author's notes ;D >
"I am tuned into Arthur's notes." ;D ;D ;D ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother rushes into the kitchen.
"I saw him! He was riding back and forth on the river! That nice man who was confused about his name!"
She stops when she sees Slim facing the wall.
"Slim, are you hearing voices?"
"Yes, your voice and the disembodied voice."
Quirking an eyebrow, she tilts her head and listens very hard for a moment.
"I don't hear him."
"I'm tuned into his Arthur's notes." ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Delmonico comes out of his office, he looks in the ice box at the leftover prairie poodle and armour-diller. He gets out rubber gloves and takes it to the outhouse and dumps it in the #5 hole. (The largest) ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
He then scrubs the ice box with lye soap and makes lemonade.
Gooop fer supper and not squash goop, chopped bacon fried with onions and bacon, I'll toss in soum sour cream and some cheese. ;D ::)
litl' rooster comes in from a long day of chasing the neighbors Longhorn Bull and fighting him into a trailer,(being period correct it's a horse drawn trailer) Then repairing fence and corrals those 70+ inch horns destroyed.....Goes to the ice box and sees the armadilla is gone, was so looking forward to a armadilla sandwich, with fresh sliced tomatoe and a purple onions and horseradish( not the sauce the fresh ground kind)...Not saying a thing he makes the vegtables into a sandwich and goes outside and sits under the tree and watches the Capt/Major. Riding his horse back and forth across the Dismal....Wondering did he find one of Trinty's stills or Delmonico curealls that them fellas in the flying plates sent back with him.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gives a wary look to that lemonade.
"Was it made from real lemons, or that lemon flavored fizzy water stuff?"
<A man arrives on foot in front of the house>
Howdy! he says. I'm looking for my brothers. They look a lot like me but are shorter. Haven't you seen them?
Can you spare any food? I haven't eaten nothing but apples for some days.
He then points to the top of the building and asks. What's that thing on the top?
Slim looks at the stranger with a weary eye. "Haven't seen anyone 'round here that looks like ya. There might be some leftover prairie poodle and armour-diller in the ice box. The thing on the top of the house is either the cupola or the weather vane."
"Delmonico threw out the leftover 'dillo and poodle, Slim. I think we might have some leftover bacon glop." The Frumpy Fairy Godmother smiles and offers a cold glass to the stranger. "Would you like some lemonade?"
((Author's note: Dang, she is getting good with that innocent smile of hers. Think he's gonna fall for it?))
What's that a cupola ?
< The gleeful look in the stranger's face faded some when the lady said there was no more armadillo or prairie dog to be had.>
With a small sigh he said. I'll have that leftover bacon something. Lemonade will be fine, if there isn't nothing stiffer.
She hands the stanger the glass, then the hem of her skirts swirl around her ankles as she turns to go back inside. "I'll heat up some of the leftovers for you." Passing Slim, she whispers in his ear, "please let me know if he has to run off to the bushes? I don't know what Delmonico did to that lemonade."
The stranger globs down the "lemonade" and then says. Thanks ma'm, that sure was refreshing.
Slim whisper back, "Okay". ;D "Well, stranger, a cupola is 'a roof over a hole in the roof'." "By the by, do ya have a name?"
If they made a hole in the roof why did they put a roof on top of it?
Of course I got a name, Ma gave it to me. ;D
"Ta keep the rain and critters out."
"And, what is the name yer Ma gave ya?"
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on August 24, 2005, 10:44:17 AM
"Ta keep the rain and critters out."
"And, what is the name yer Ma gave ya?"
Av. Hum er, Thumbs. Yeah that's it Scattered Thumbs is my name. ::)
And if they want the rain and critters out why did they open the hole in the first place?
I wonder where that lady went. I'm starving.
<The stranger produces another apple from his pocket and starts munching on it>
"That's a strange name fer a Ma ta give ta a young'in. Why did she give ya that name?"
"The hole is fer vent-e-lashun."
"She should be back soon."
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on August 24, 2005, 11:09:32 AM
"That's a strange name fer a Ma ta give ta a young'in. Why did she give ya that name?"
"The hole is fer vent-e-lashun."
"She should be back soon."
Ma was allways a bit strange. If she told me why she gave me that name, I can't remember.
Vent-e-lashun huh!? That makes sence. ;D
"Ya should be ashamed of yerself fer calling yer Ma strange." >:( >:( >:( >:(
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on August 24, 2005, 11:19:06 AM
"Ya should be ashamed of yerself fer calling yer Ma strange." >:( >:( >:( >:(
I never said it was
my Ma. ;D
Delmonico watches from the peep hole in his office door. He figgers the stranger is headed out side soon, tween the apples and the lemonade. The flying plates had taken him to Battle Creek Micth-ee-gun and had left hime with someone named John Harvey Kellogg. John Harvey said one should have clean insides. ;D ;D ;D ;D
Yogurt anyone? ;D ;D ;D ;D
(http://www.homeeconomiser.com/Tips%20Images/Yogurt.jpg)
"What's yogurt?" Asks the Frumpy Fairy Godmother as she walks out on the porch. She is carrying a tray laden down with food and silverware.
"Here's some lunch, Sir, we had plenty of leftovers."
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on August 24, 2005, 10:26:49 AM
Lemonade will be fine, if there isn't nothing stiffer.
Hearing this brough Stoney outta his dase. "We still got a jug of Trinities Squeezin's. Be careful. That first sip is a doozey.(http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/food/23.gif)
That spoon is the wrong device fer add-min-er-stin' the yoget Slim. If ya look fer one, the red rubber one should be PC to the 1880's. ;D
watching from the barn...I see the stranger gulping down the meal FFg has prepared him. I think he looks familar but can't place him. Of course I can't place my hand on my spec ta cils at this moment either. Something funny about him and all the strange behavior and questions.
Trinity moseys out of the brush up to the house carying two jugs. He looks at Slims container of yogurt and cuckles: "Here Slim, Ah got some home brew righcheer."
He passes a jug to stoneypete and assumes his position in the hammock. As his stomach rumbles he asks: "Is there any more of them prairie puppies left? Jest poke a couple of 'em on a stick an bring 'em on over here, please."
Delmonico thinks things have gotten stranger around here in his absence. ;D He goes into his office and pumps the handle a couple of times to get more coal oil into his computor. :o :o ;D ;) He then types out a long E-Mail and sends it along the 4 strands of his broadband barb wire connection. ::)
He knows they are really going to have a shock when the "Overnite Pony Express" man gets here. ;D ;D :o :o :o ;)
The stranger gulps down the food the lady brought him and takes a large swig from the jug the bearded man offered him. AAHH! That's good stuff. He says. He notices a bar of lye soap lying around and when no one is looking he eats it too. :o
I feel better now. I think I'll go try to find my brothers. Having said that, the stranger gets up, pulls another apple from a pocket and after thanking the kind folks for the excellent meal leaves the house.
Once again, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother is left to gawk on the porch.
"Uh..... come back soon!" She manages to say. As the stranger tromps down the steps, her brows furrow. "Did I just see him eat a bar of soap?"
"yep. He may be visiting the bushes soon hisownself." :o
"Speaking of eating, I'm getting b'fast ready." Stoney brews the large pot, eggs, buscuts with gravy and bacon.
As Pete cooks breakfast, the Pony Express rider arrives. He drops off one package for Delmonico and two parcels for the Frumpy Fairy Godmother.
"At last!" She exclaims, gleefully, tearing into her packages. One small box contains a glass vial with an arcane symbol etched into the glass. She pockets that one, then opens the other. The contents are greeting with a joyful sigh. "My new yarn and hook arrived!" She pulls out the green and blue skeins, unabashedly fondling them in her hands. "Ohhhh... so soft!" And without further ado, she takes the yarn with her to her rocking chair. "Call me when it's ready, Pete!"
The stranger arrives again in front of the house and says.
Howdy, I was out looking for my brothers, but I smelled cooking. That reminded me I'm quite hungry. Is there any food you can spare?
Delmonico drags the fairly large package into his office and shuts and locks the door with the yaller dog inside. ??? ::)
Slim walks into the kitchen fer breakfast.
Quote from: Delmonico on August 25, 2005, 09:51:06 AM
Delmonico drags the fairly large package into his office and shuts and locks the door with the yaller dog inside. ??? ::)
"Why is the yaller dog inside the door? ??? :o" ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Bored of waiting for a reply, the stranger snatches another bar of soap and leaves again.
Slim fills a plate and pours a cup of coffee. He goes out to the porch and sees the stranger is back. "Stranger, errrrr, Scattered Thumbs here's a plate fer ya if yer hungry."
"Why is he eating soap?" ???
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on August 25, 2005, 10:22:47 AM
Slim fills a plate and pours a cup of coffee. He goes out to the porch and sees the stranger is back. "Stranger, errrrr, Scattered Thumbs here's a plate fer ya if yer hungry."
Scattered Thumbs swiftly globs down the soap he snatched and turns back to the house. Thanks Mister. He says to the red bearded fellow as he acepts the plate he's been offered .
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on August 25, 2005, 10:23:32 AM
"Why is he eating soap?" ???
That yeller stuff was soap? It's not bad ya know. Do you have some more of it? ;D
Delmonico opens his office door and Duke bites Slim on the leg for pokin' fun at Delmonico. ;D Delmonico whispers to Slim as the big dog knaws on on Slim's leg. "Don't tell this fella about the Wedgewood WC, we don't want him in there." :o
"Tell him the #3 hole in the outhouse behind the bunk house would be about his size." ;D
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on August 25, 2005, 10:31:10 AM
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on August 25, 2005, 10:23:32 AM
"Why is he eating soap?" ???
That yeller stuff was soap? It's not bad ya know. Do you have some more of it? ;D
"We had some lye soap, but Del used it to clean the icebox."
After Slim stops Duke from knawing on his leg, he gets another plate of grud and goes ta the porch ta eat.
Having eaten all the food in his plate. And having been told there was no more soap :(
Scattered thumbs announces he'll go look for his brothers and again leaves the house.
"Wish ya luck in findin' yer kin."
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on August 25, 2005, 11:18:47 AM
"Wish ya luck in findin' yer kin."
Thanks Mister! He Replies over his shoulder as he walks away.
Delmonico returns to his office and his mysterious package. ??? ::) ::) ;D
Slim finishes his grub, takes the plate into the kitchen, and washes the dishes.
A messenger delivered a telegram to Stoney Pete. In it was a notification of a new wanted poster. Stoney take the telegram over the stone and burns it.
"The money was good, but the job was the pits. I'm outta bounty hunting for good." Stoney pours some coffee and heads to his seat on the porch.
Slim goes out to gather eggs and milch the cow. He walks past Trinity and Stoney, who are snoring on the porch.
Daisy and Claire follow the Frumpy Fairy Godmother as she heads to the garden. While Duke is cooped up in Delmonico's room, they get to roll around and chase bunnies as the Frumpy Fairy Godmother tends to the plants.
Slim calls to the FFg, "Whatcha got growin' in that there garden?"
Delmonico is still in his office with the Yaller dog, fiddlin' with the strange package. ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother checks her basket, then calls back:
"Tomatoes, onions, squash, some late beans... need to dig more potatoes and it looks like the corn will be ready this weekend!"
Delmonico sticks his head out of the door, "Don't feed the corn to Trinity, you know how that fasinates him." :P :P :P
As the door closes music is heard to come from his office. Real music with an orc-er-str-ar. ;D ;D
litl rooster passes FFG working in the garden and speaks so not to startle her...Evenin' Ms FFg, Can you tell me how Delmonico got all those music men in his office? If any one is looking for me I'll be burning late oil, in preparation of the Fall drive.
<Authors note, Cause Delmonico done ordered a Edison Pho-no-graph with 200 wax cylinders, each playin' a different tune. ;D>
Late into the night, even after Midnite, Delmonico and Duke are listenin' to the pho-no-graph. ;D
Delmonico has learned that even if he don't like EEE-tall-ion opery, Duke does. :o :o ::) ::) ::) ;D So as Delmonico cranks the little handle on the opery cylinder for the 55th time, Duke sings along. :o :o ::) ::) :P :P ;D ;D ;D
Finally Delmonico tells duke to quit it and the opery is over. ;D ;) Delmonico curls up in his quilts and duke curls up on his rug at the foot of the bed. :D ;D
After far too little sleep, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother rises and heads downstairs from her cupola. She pauses outside the door to Delmonico's room and listens for a moment, then removes the pile of blankets and towels that had been stuffed around it. She sets them to the side and meanders to the kitchen to start coffee.
Jack Dalton walks to the front of the house. Looks around and sees no one.
Anybody Home! He shouts. But there's no reply.
That's funny, I could swear I heard music and singin' a while ago, I wonder if that idiot Averell came to these parts. I'll wait in the porch for someone to come by.
Jack seats on the porch, and after a while he's fast asleep and drooling.
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on August 26, 2005, 07:32:58 AM
Jack Dalton walks to the front of the house. Looks around and sees no one.
(http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/think/17.gif)( Author's note: See below.)
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on August 25, 2005, 03:34:40 PM
Slim goes out to gather eggs and milch the cow. He walks past Trinity and Stoney, who are snoring on the porch.
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on August 26, 2005, 07:32:58 AM
Jack seats on the porch, and after a while he's fast asleep and drooling.
Stoney wakes up and there's a stranger sleeping on the porch beside him. Having been a stray once himself he thinks nothing of it. "One more for breakfast.", he thinks. As he approaches the stove he remembers the wanted poster. "This could be him.", he mumbles to hisself. "Who cares? Not my problem no more."
Stoney heads to the smoke house to get more bacon. With that now on the stove he make coffee, eggs, buscuts and gravy.
Heading to the porch with his food and coffee he awaits the waking of the stranger.
Quote from: stoneypete on August 26, 2005, 07:59:23 AM
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on August 26, 2005, 07:32:58 AM
Jack Dalton walks to the front of the house. Looks around and sees no one.
(http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/think/17.gif)( Author's note: See below.)
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on August 25, 2005, 03:34:40 PM
Slim goes out to gather eggs and milch the cow. He walks past Trinity and Stoney, who are snoring on the porch.
<Arthur's note: Oops! I guess ole Jack was already very sleepy when he arrived to the ranch house ;D >
<Arthur's note too: This Jack fellow is not the same person that was here yesterday. Even though he looks just like him, he is some 4 inches shorter>
Smelling the coffee Jack wakes up. Only to find out there's another feller sleeping in the porch, he then notices there's also a bearded feller sitting in the porch having breakfast.
Howdy Mister! My name is Scattered Thumbs and I'm looking for my brothers, they look a lot like me but one is taller and the other two are shorter. Have you seen any of them?
And, er..Is there any extra food? I can pay for it.
"Yes there is extra food. I cooked extra cause you wuz asleep on the porch when I woke up. No you can not pay for it. The FFG would skin me alive ifn' I did not extend the same courtesy to strangers that wuz extended to me when I arrived."
Stoney goes and fixes the man a plate and a cup of coffee and bring them to the man on the porch.
"Yup your brother wuz here. Eatin' apples and soap and anything else we put in front of him. Don't rightly remember which way he went. He wuz looking for you and the other brother. Even used the same name you using. Not that that matters to me anymore."
Stoney sat back in his chair and sipped more coffee.
Quote from: stoneypete on August 26, 2005, 08:57:22 AMEven used the same name you using. Not that that matters to me anymore."
Stoney sat back in his chair and sipped more coffee.
Hearing this Jack blushed slightly, then said.
You should not pay much attention to what my baby brother said, he's not very bright but you'd be amazed at the quatity and variety of things he can eat.
Anyway, much obliged for the meal. Afterwards I'll try to find my brother before he gets himself in trouble.
Jack seats in the porch and stars eating showing an appetite almost as good as his brother's
Slim stumbles into the kitchen for some coffee, since Del and Duke were listening to music half the night, he didn't get much sleep. He pours himself a BIG cup and sits at the table sipping.
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on August 26, 2005, 09:59:43 AM
Slim stumbles into the kitchen for some coffee, since Del and Duke were listening to music half the night, he didn't get much sleep. He pours himself a BIG cup and sits at the table sipping.
(Authors question: Did the wee on keep you up last night?)
Quote from: stoneypete on August 26, 2005, 10:32:29 AM
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on August 26, 2005, 09:59:43 AM
Slim stumbles into the kitchen for some coffee, since Del and Duke were listening to music half the night, he didn't get much sleep. He pours himself a BIG cup and sits at the table sipping.
(Authors question: Did the wee on keep you up last night?)
(Arthur's note: Yep. :( )
After cleaning his plate spotless and having drank to the last drops of coffee, Jack Dal....Er, Sacattered Thumbs rose to his feet and said.
Well, I'll try and find Aver... er, my brother. Once again thanks for the fine meal.
Jack starts walking away from the house thinking. <I seen that bearded fellow before, he was partners with Elliot Belt, he's a bounty hunter too. I better find that idiot Averell fast, we can't opperate freely with a dangerous bounty hunter hanging around.>
Slim walks out to the porch. He see a stranger walking from the house. The stranger looks like the one here yesterday, but he seems smaller. "Morning, Stoney. Who was that?"
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on August 26, 2005, 11:22:24 AM
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on August 26, 2005, 11:14:53 AM
Slim walks out to the porch. He see a stranger walking from the house. The stranger looks like the one here yesterday, but he seems taller. "Morning, Stoney. Who was that?"
<Arthur's note: smaller you mean smaller ::) >
(Arthur's note: Oops! Yes smaller. I fixed it. ;) )
Delmonico and Duke leave his office, lockin' the door behind them. ::)
The head off into the hills with out sayin' a word. ???
"Where are they goin'?" ???
"I don't know."
Funny, how she does that, not there one moment, there the next, with only a tiny tell tale sign of glittering sawdust at her feet.
Delmonico and Duke come back to the ranche with a large canvas sack. ::) They dump it into the sink and rinse and start pittin' a whole bunch of small bright red cherries.
(Does this seem odd since none of you have seen any trees, let alone cherry trees since yo got here? Slim Google up Sand Cherries ;D)
(http://plants.usda.gov/gallery/pubs/prbe2_002_pvp.jpg)
Prunus pumila L. var. besseyi (Bailey) Gleason
western sandcherry
<Cool, thanks Slim, but them look taller and cutivated, the wild ones are hard to find in the grass.>
Quote from: Delmonico on August 26, 2005, 02:31:33 PM
Delmonico and Duke come back to the ranche with a large canvas sack. ::) They dump it into the sink and rinse and start pittin' a whole bunch of small bright red cherries.
(Does this seem odd since none of you have seen any trees, let alone cherry trees since yo got here? Slim Google up Sand Cherries ;D)
litl'rooster inquires, are they toxic to livestock?
then goes to the shed and loads his 73 and saddles hiis horse and slowly rides out behind the shorter stranger.
Trinity yawns and rolls over. An empty jug falls to the ground.
<Never have heard they were.>
Delmonico and Duke head to his office, soon the crank on the phon-ey-graph is heard to crank and the midnight choir starts to sing, "Will there be Mogan David in Heaven." ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
"If there ain't who the heck wants to go."
<Author's note Larry Gatlin and his brothers are from Newbrassky.> ;D
The linens are restacked outside Delmonico's office. But when Daisy and Claire start to howl, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother sighs and makes her way to the kitchen. Once there, she raids the honey pot, removing a section of comb. The taste of honey makes her smile a bit and she chews up the comb until it is soft. Spitting out the now pliable ex-comb, she divides it in two, rolls it into balls, and sticks the wax in her ears.
Quote from: litl rooster on August 26, 2005, 07:16:54 PM
then goes to the shed and loads his 73 and saddles hiis horse and slowly rides out behind the shorter stranger.
<Arthur's note: BEJABBERS! ;D>
How in the world did I miss this one. Now gotta read 3692 posts to catch up.
<Authors note, Nuther story on page 6 is the true begaining. ;D Also South from Dodge and Fort Sill are inbetwwen, all parked on page 6. ;D This is when Slim and I and others were travelin' round before we settled on the Dismal river in Newbrasskey. ;D ;D ;D ::) ::) ::)>
Well Sir, thankee very much, makes it a whole lot easier. Believe I'll tell Cousin Fetid Pyle about Newbrassky.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother spends her day watching the rain and crocheting. She'd gotten up early and done the laundry when no one was looking, so all the sheets and towels are fresh and clean. The chickens seemed content and she could have sworn the cows winked at her when she milked them. For once, it was a quiet day. Even Delmonico's office was quiet and the dogs lazed about on the porch.
After watching the town for a spell and not drawing any fire, Fetid slid the big .50 back into the scabbard, turned his Jackass around and rode back into cover.
litl' rooster has followed the shorter Scatter Thumbs thru out the day. It's now dark and has hobbled his horse on the hill. Just above ST's nite camp. I see him strike a match he must have a backy pipe. Getting a fork and a can of peaches from my saddle bag and my rifle, I lean against a small tee and settle in, being vigilent to my surroundings and listening to the mumblings down hill from me.
Delmonico reads derby Younger's post and sneaks up behind and taps him on the shoulder. :o "Pard since you ain't read it all I'll help out. Town is about 40-50 down stream on the Dismal, Dunning is it's name. (both the river and the town are real) That down there is "The Ranch with no Name"
(Take a modern map of Newbrasky and go straght south of Thedford, Halsey. It's there on the Dismal River, but the natioal forest ain't there yet. ::) They only added it in the 1930's, there ain't no trees yet in it. ::)) Yer in luck, the trouble maker, Silver Creek Slim has went home for the weekend.
Just jump in and follow along, I'm a Nebrassky Historian fer real and many things are based on fact. ;D
The not so little house on The Ranch with No Name along the Dismal was imported by Delmonico who made a fortune off a diamond mine someplace. He, Slim, and Trinity made their north from someplace, driving along cattle and finally settling there. Slim has a map someplace. Trinity got waylaid (pun intended) by a wagonload of ladies of ill repute and didn't come back until later. They lived in a dugout for a while before they ordered the house with Del's coil oil computer. Del's friends and protectors, the Bohunks, supplied the labor. The Frumpy Fairy Godmother showed up somewhere along the line and somehow just adopted the whole bunch of them. She lives in the house's cupola, but says she doesn't really live there because it wouldn't be "seemly" for her to be living with so many men.
Slim built a chicken coop. He goes home to Wissyconsin every weekend to spend time with his wife and 23 children. Every once in a while, strange men in flying plates come and take him away. It is suspected they've "probed" him. Gopher Grease, who also has a room in the house but comes and goes a lot, supplied the anti-flying-plate gun, which is a big hawking beast, but they never seem to be able to hit the plates. The aliens got tired of Slim and came and got Delmonico a few times, for a week or more at a time. He recently returned from one of those adventures. When Slim comes back, he brings cheeeeeeese. When Del gets back, he brings soda water to make people poop.
Stoney Pete was once a bounty hunter, but when he found the not so little house along the Dismal, he decided to give up the life and stay. He built the pig pen and tends to the pigs. His somewhat partner in the business was a man who never gave his real name, but his holsters were marked with ST. It is suspected he haunts the house, but no one is sure.
Along with the stable is a shed made from canned potted meat. It is Trinity's creation, along with a glittering sculpture that was supposed to be a greenhouse, and a... bunktraption behind the house and near the pigpen that was supposed to be the bohunkhouse. The bohunkhouse was built by Litl' Rooster, another waif who showed up and found he was home. He spends much of his time tending the cattle. Trinity's primary occupation is occupying the hammock and swigging from his jug of "recipe." He has stills hidden in numerous places, but used the silver solder for them to decorate his saddle. The still's seams are made of lead, which could help to describe some of the behaviour of the occupants of the house.
The house also has several pets in residence. Duke is the yellow dog who found them along the trail and stayed. He's mostly Delmonico's companion, but goes hunting with Slim. Claire, the chocolate lab, is somewhat loyal to Trinity. Daisy, Duke's companion, just hangs out around the house, mooching. Then there is the Frankenbird, the bird with the turkey's head attached to a chicken, or maybe it was another bird, but Delmonico made it. Frankenbird is Trinity's best friend, outside of the wagon ladies. Sheep is one of Trinity's drinking buddies. The Cat belongs to no one and things it all belongs to him.
They often have visitors who come and go. Most recently was a man called Major who lived in the curtains before he left. The Frumpy Fairy Godmother liked him a lot. Handtub has a firetruck in the barn. Even more recently were two men who ate soap. They looked enough alike to be brothers.
Currently, Litl' Rooster is tracking one of the brothers, Slim is in Wissyconsin, and the rest are ambling about the area.
((Authors talk/ write within parenthesis or <> or {}. Most of the characters of the story can't hear the authors. Slim can, and sometimes it seems Del can. The Frumpy Fairy Godmother, even with her magic wand, is oblivious to it. She thinks she's real. Welcome to .... Newbrassky. If I got the facts of this production of the Bozos on the Bus confused, misplaced, or in error... tough. Go back and read it for yourself! :D AnnieLee))
Fetid hears a voice in his head, not an unusual occurrence. Sounds like Cousin Derby, somethin' about a Fairy Godmother and a black coated man with a name like a steak. He moves to the edge of the cover, looks out and realizes it ain't a town but some strange rock formation. The voices and the rock apparition are bizarre even by his standards. He decides to break camp, ride off a distance and think on this. For Fetid, this could take awhile.
As Fetid rides off, the sky is suddenly darkened by the appearance of a flying plate over his head. A bright blue light shines down and envelopes him for a moment, then stops, leaving him with a tingling sensation. When he looks back, the plate is gone.
<Authors note, no rock formations here. ;D Just sand dunes covered in grass and often no trees for miles even today. It is a beeuuutiful land that drives those used to treas and such down right crazy.>
http://websearch.cs.com/wm/boomframe.jsp?query=Nebraska+Sandhills&page=1&offset=1&result_url=redir%3Fsrc%3Dwebsearch%26requestId%3D524503003303a5e3%26clickedItemRank%3D1%26userQuery%3DNebraska%2BSandhills%26clickedItemURN%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.hprcc.unl.edu%252Fnebraska%252Fnebraska-sandhills-aug2001.html%26invocationType%3D-%26fromPage%3Dwmthomepage%26amp%3BampTest%3D1&remove_url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.hprcc.unl.edu%2Fnebraska%2Fnebraska-sandhills-aug2001.html
I hope that is right, I ain't that good at pewters. ;D
There ain't that beutiful and there ain't no durned trees to block the view. ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: AnnieLee on August 27, 2005, 09:45:58 PM
As Fetid rides off, the sky is suddenly darkened by the appearance of a flying plate over his head. A bright blue light shines down and envelopes him for a moment, then stops, leaving him with a tingling sensation. When he looks back, the plate is gone.
...but his hat is gone and he has a perfectly round bare spot on the top of his head.
Quote from: Delmonico on August 27, 2005, 10:01:38 PM
<Authors note, no rock formations here. ;D Just sand dunes covered in grass and often no trees for miles even today. It is a beeuuutiful land that drives those used to treas and such down right crazy.>
http://websearch.cs.com/wm/boomframe.jsp?query=Nebraska+Sandhills&page=1&offset=1&result_url=redir%3Fsrc%3Dwebsearch%26requestId%3D524503003303a5e3%26clickedItemRank%3D1%26userQuery%3DNebraska%2BSandhills%26clickedItemURN%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.hprcc.unl.edu%252Fnebraska%252Fnebraska-sandhills-aug2001.html%26invocationType%3D-%26fromPage%3Dwmthomepage%26amp%3BampTest%3D1&remove_url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.hprcc.unl.edu%2Fnebraska%2Fnebraska-sandhills-aug2001.html
I hope that is right, I ain't that good at pewters. ;D
(http://www.hprcc.unl.edu/nebraska/DSCN5748CR.jpg)
Happy cheese comes from happy cows! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
And happy Duke likes happy cheese.
(http://members.aol.com/freyamomus/happycowsnduke.jpg)
((Oh yeah, other notable visitors have included Brazos Bucky Smith (anyone seen him, lately? I hope he is ok), Russ T. Chambers, and Foothills Drifter.))
Them be Black Angus, one of the more popular breeds for beef, as in steaks, roast and hamburger. They not be the best fer milkin'. ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)
Sides that the Sandhills is cowboy country, they don't like ta milk cows.
BTW. The Unoffical State Tree in Newbrassky is the windmill. ;D
Delmonico is having a dream about Trinity with a bucket out trying to milk a black Angus steer. ;D ;D
Suddenly he is awaken by a noise, going out to the porch he sees nothing but a blue light off in the distance. ::) ;D Knowning the flying plate people are tired of him, Delmonico goes back into the house a bit hungry. He looks around for something, but just dosn't find anything that sounds good.
He knows what he wants, but he'll have to wait till morning and make a trip to Dunning and see if they happen to have what he wants at the grocery store this week. ???
Sadly craving something a bit different he heads back to his office, Duke is awake and is looking ant the Phono-graph and is nosing around a cardboard tube with a wax cylinder inside. :o :o ::) ::) ;D
Delmonico looks at the title on the end of the tube and smiles, he puts it on and cranks it ou, out of the cone comes:
Yes we have no bananas, we have no bananas today. ;D ;D ;D :D :D :D :D :D
Duke wags his tail and joins in. ::)
The blue light was gone, his hat with it. Fetid bought a hand up to scratch his head in confusion and found a round bald spot. Musta been Arapaho's, he figured. He kept riding east along the water until another river joined from the North. Higher ground to his right was better to his liking.
Quote from: AnnieLee on August 28, 2005, 12:11:51 AM
And happy Duke likes happy cheese.
(http://members.aol.com/freyamomus/happycowsnduke.jpg)
((Oh yeah, other notable visitors have included Brazos Bucky Smith (anyone seen him, lately? I hope he is ok), Russ T. Chambers, and Foothills Drifter.))
But duke makes everybody around unahappy after having eaten happy cheese! Peeeeeyewww! :-[ :-[
But Claire likes it. She thinks it is Eau d'Happyduke.
:D
Delmonico decides to make biscuits and gravy fer supper tonight. As the biscuits are browning, he sorts through the cylinders fer his phony-graph to see what tunes Duke would like. ;D ;D :o ::)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother simply *appears* behind Delmonico.
"What are you doing, and what are those?"
Wax siilly-enders fer my fony-graph, the needle goes in the gooves and vibrates, this causes the muuuusic that Duke likes to sing to. ;D
Trinity steps up to hear the explanation. "Pssst. Miss FFG, bein' outta wax, thems kin mailt easy... git mah drift? Got anythin' in yer magical stick that kin... hailp us sleep? ;)"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother nods to Trinity and glares at Delmonico.
"If you play those things between ten at night and eight," she looks to Trinity and corrects herself, "no, nine in the morning, I'm going to melt them. Understand?"
litl' rooster has enjoyed his time away from all the fony graf ic music while keeping an eye on the shorter Scatter Thumbs.. Ut's been tiring watching him stop and eat every few minutes and my
horse may has well go on back to the barn, with out me...Scatter thumbs walks so slow even an ole cripply up fella like me can keep up. He is a prolific eater
I am concerned that Duke was just trying to help and move all my replacement heifers to the stock tank while I am gone, and he his not chasing them like his wild ancestors did. If he was really a smart dog he would check the windmill and make sure it's operating properly
As much as Duke likes to sing along with the music, he has his duties. He takes off at a run.
(http://members.aol.com/fechnwench/thewindmillisfine.jpg)
I cringe at the thought of jumping over a barbed wire fence with my equipment exposed as duke has. Ugh! :(
Suppers on the table.
Chicken pot pie
Yeast rolls
Baked apples
Trinity drops everything he's doing and rushes to the dinner table! (http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/food/1.gif)
Delmonico hollors at Duke to come back and get the grease bucket, grease the cat and chase it up the windmill to lube it. ;D since the FFg has been very mean and will melt his wax cylinders, he puts them in his wall safe along with the f\phoney-graf. ::)
He then sits down at his coal oil computor and places another order. ::) ::) :o :o ;D ;D :D
Good Boy Duke.... ;D
No sence coming back now for dinner Trinty has beat everyone to the Table >:(
Jack Dalton had noticed the rider following him and worried some, so he decided to take his own sweet time travelling and try to bore him to death. ;D That didn't work, since the rider followed him till night fall. Well rested because of the slow walking and many refilling stops Jack Dalton decided to try and loose him during the night. Late at night when everything was quiet Jack ran away at incredible speed. ;D
Two hours later he was some 30 miles away. :o Luckily it was a clear night. ::)
Gasping for breath Jack looked back and saw no signs of anybody following him.
Quote from: Delmonico on August 28, 2005, 09:55:15 PM
Delmonico hollors at Duke to come back and get the grease bucket, grease the cat and chase it up the windmill to lube it. ;D since the FFg has been very mean and will melt his wax cylinders, he puts them in his wall safe along with the f\phoney-graf. ::)
He then sits down at his coal oil computor and places another order. ::) ::) :o :o ;D ;D :D
As Duke comes running back, The Cat gives Delmonico an "I don't think so, Bub," look and goes back to sleep.
The "Overnite Pony Express" rider arrives with a large package. Delmonico signs for it and takes it ot his office and locks the door with Duke inside. ;D
Last evening, Fetid had heard what sounded like a dog singing on the night wind. Smelled biscuits too. "Tarnation", he thought," blue light musta done sumthin to me".
He spent a restless night, strange dreams. All colors of blue, shapes he didn't recognize, Shamans and Chinese cooks. Even thought he saw a body running past, though nobody could run that fast.
He awoke at dawn, sitting straight up. It was going to be the strangest day of his life. And that's saying some.
Quote from: Delmonico on August 29, 2005, 11:14:11 AM
The "Overnite Pony Express" rider arrives with a large package. Delmonico signs for it and takes it ot his office and locks the door with Duke inside. ;D
<Arthur's note: Del's putting Duke in the door, again. ::) ) ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Slim rides up to the ranch house. "Anybody home?"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother rushes outside when she hears Slim. She waits for him to get off his horse then sweeps him into a hug. "Welcome back, how is Mrs. Slim and all the children and the baby?"
"Howdy. The Mrs. and the youngin's are doin' fine. I brought more cheese." ;D ;D ;D
She gives a small cheer and stows the cheese while he tends to his horse. When he gets back, she tells him about Delmonico and the wax things and the phoney-graph and the loud music.
"I've gotta git me beauty sleep at night 'cuz I can't nap all day like Trinity does. If he keeps playin' those wax thangs late at night he may find 'em melted." >:(
She gives him a wide smile and kisses him on the cheek. "That's what I told him, no playing between 10 and night and 9 in the morning. I think I skeered him."
"I hope so. If I don't git my beauty sleep, I git a bit skeery, too." ;D
Delmonico is heard opening a package in his office. :o :o He opens his office door and removes it and the door frame, he carries it out to the poted meat product shed and stands it in the corner. ::) ::) He then drags to the opening a new door frame that has a 4 foot thick door in it with sliding pannels on both sides tat lead into a hollow in the bottom of the door.
He then puts a beware of dog sign on the thick hollow door. ??? ::) ;D
<Authors note: Now I can lock Duke in the door. :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P>
(Arthur's note: Bravo, Del. ;D ;D ;D ;D)
<Authors note: It's a good thing this did not happen ten days ago, my fishin' line and super glue might have not held things in place. :o :o :P :P>
Knowing that Jack Dalton/Scattered Thumbs was a sneaky character,( I could tell how, by the way, he would pause and look for something to eat) I rose when the moon was high
to get a closer look at where he stop at dark. To my surprize he was gone. He was careless though and left a ez trail to follow even in the dark. Before dawn I knew I had caught up with him and he wasn't far off. My horse was reacting to a strange odor. One of fear, like a meat eater was nearby. He trodded on at my commands. At day break I could see him sitting on a rock in the wide open, I stopped and watched him he looked exhausted.. He as traveled nearly 30 miles in the dark. His possibles bag was on the ground next to him filled with apples and what appears tp be bars of lye soap. I decide to stay in the cover of the shade and watch him...
Quote from: AnnieLee on August 29, 2005, 09:07:43 AM
Quote from: Delmonico on August 28, 2005, 09:55:15 PM
Delmonico hollors at Duke to come back and get the grease bucket, grease the cat and chase it up the windmill to lube it. ;D since the FFg has been very mean and will melt his wax cylinders, he puts them in his wall safe along with the f\phoney-graf. ::)
He then sits down at his coal oil computor and places another order. ::) ::) :o :o ;D ;D :D
As Duke comes running back, The Cat gives Delmonico an "I don't think so, Bub," look and goes back to sleep.
<<Authors note: Perfectly described! ;D ;D>>
Hearing Slims comment about sleeping so much and realizing that it is the truth, Trinity decides it is time to go check on the stills. He struggles out of the hammock and calls Claire while patting his leg. The two walk off into the brush together.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother pauses in her crocheting and tilts her head as though listening. There is a faint, silvery, ringing sound and she smiles.
"Allo?"
There is another pause, and her smile shifts, becoming something akin to the expression Mona Lisa once wore and her gaze grows distant, unfocused.
"Oh... Eduardo...."
Her wand is draw and waved, and she disappears, leaving behind a scattering of glittering sawdust.
((Gonna be away during the day for the next few days. All is well, so don't fret over me. ))
<Arthur's note: From the description of the contents of the possibles bag Litl Rooster has caught up with Averell Dalton/Scattered Thumbs ( he's the only one of the Dalton brothers able of eating soap) instead of Jack ;D . That may be better for him, Averell won't notice he's being followed ;D >
Delmonico opens his office door (with Duke inside the door) he closes it from the outside and opens the outside panel. Duke sits in his door and guards Delmonico's office and the phoney-graph.. ;D
Delmonico is going to do the dishes that for some reason have piled up. Not finding any bars of lye soap to shave into the dishwater he goes back to his office, closing the outside panel and opening the inside one as he enters. ;D
He pumps up and lights the burner on his coal oil computor and sends a CO-Mail (Coal Oil) ;D
litl' rooster realizes now that he has been fooled. He now watching the taller of the Dalton brothers. He is also unsure that watching them any longer will lead him to who has been stealing his cattle. Outside of the entertainment they have provided with their unsual eating habits, mumbling and ability to cover 30 miles a foot in a short time...I must now make a decision to go back and start moving the remaining cattle to Rail head. Or follow these Dalton boys in hopes of more clues to my missing cattle.... I have a feeling there is paper hanging on them at the Marshall"s office but, I don't have time to check. Bounty money would recoup my losses however I have a contract to fill and must have the cattle moving.
Averell, unaware of someone watching him, decided it was time for another snack. ::)
As he eats he wonders why his brother Joe thought it was a good idea to come to the Sandhills. There was no Bank to be seen. And if there was no Bank how were they going to rob one? ???
Having slept for several days on the porch Stoney heads down to the barn and feeds the pigs. He comes back to the house and pours some coffee. (http://users.pandora.be/eforum/emoticons4u/obscene/eck15.gif) it's days old and cold.
Stoney clean up his mess and makes a fresh pot. He cooks eggs and bacon then heads back out to the porch to watch the sun rise.
<Dad is OK, I guess. No change.>
Slim goes into the kitchen and pours a cup of fresh coffee. He walks to the porch where Stoney is sitting.
Delmonico comes out of his office with a fresh cup of coffee from the Island of Java, out of his always clean office pot. He also has a bar of lye soap from his office stash. ;D Duke is in the door guarding, the coffee and the phony-graf. ;D
Delmonico looks at them drinking the coffee out of that filthy pot, sips on his cup and starts the dishes. ;D
"You ain't said it out load, but your face gives you away. That pot ain't dirty, it seasoned. Washing it will ruin the flava."
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: stoneypete on August 30, 2005, 03:42:01 PM
"You ain't said it out load, but your face gives you away. That pot ain't dirty, it seasoned. Washing it will ruin the flava."
The disembodied voice of Trinity agrees wholeheartedly...
Delmonico finishes the dishes. He then washes his white coffee pot and removes all traces of the last pot. ;D Back at his office he closes Dukes slinding outside panel and closes the door. He opens the inner on and duke choose a fine coffee from Mexico from Delmonico's stash of coffee in jars. ;D
He grinds it, makes a fresh pot and pours him and Duke a cup. ;D Duke whines but Delmonico tells him no, the mean FFg will turn the wonderful cylinders into candles if he plays one. ::) ::) ::) >:( >:( >:( >:(
So the poor music loving yaller dog crys and howls far into the night. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Duke's howling suddenly stops when ten bars of lye soap seemingly appear from nowhere and hit Delmonico in the head. Duke's eyes widen then he makes a sound that could be interpreted as dog laughter.
The kitchen soap is restocked.
Many miles away, in a place of sunshine and cool breezes, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother smiles and puts away her portable crystal ball.
Duke is so upset at the the "soap" in-so-dent and the fact his music loving friend is injured for no reason, he goes to the cupalo and poops under the FFg's bed. ;D
He then comes back and licks his friend on his injured head till he regains con-seess-ness again. :o :o :o
"It's ok Duke he says, she's off doing tasks she do't want to do and it makes her surley." ;D
"Look at what she did to slim inthe other thread." ;D
Stoney wakes up, "Man I gotta stop spedding nights on this here porch. I do have a nice bed and all."
He gets up and heads to the kitchen. The smell of poop is strong, but it's not coming from anywhere in the kitchen. Stoney shruggs his sholders and makes fresh coffee in the "seasoned" pot. He's grateful that Del did not wash it. ;D
Eggs, bacon, buscuits with gravy, coffee and apple pie for breakfast.
Stoney heads out and resumes his vigil on the porch whilst eatting his breakfast.
FP brought his left hand up to scratch the stubble on his face. But there was no hand, just the ragged cuff of his shirt coming toward his face. He froze. Unfortunately, the hand that wasn't there didn't. It kept on until it hit him in the nose, knocking him on his back
Fetid reacted naturally, his right hand going for his Colt. He had just a brief moment to realize that there wasn't anything there before the pistol hit him between the eyes. He was out like a rock. This was the beginning of his day. Like the man said, it was going to be a strange one.
Delmonico and duke are spending the hot afternoon in his office. He has rigged up a system where by using ice from the ice house and a belt and pulley hooked to the windmill and a fan he can keep his office cool. ;D ;D
Also by a strange quirk of fate and some stange time warp a bunch of the cylinders say Hank Williams on them. Delmonico puts on Dukes favorite and duke does a duet with the master himself. ;)
Hear that lonesome whippoorwill
He sounds too blue to fly
The midnight train is whining low
I'm so lonesome I could cry
I've never seen a night so long
When time goes crawling by
The moon just went behind a cloud
To hide its face and cry
Did you ever see a robin weep
When leaves begin to die?
Like me he's lost the will to live
I'm so lonesome I could cry
The silence of a falling star
Lights up a purple sky
And as I wonder where you are
I'm so lonesome I could cry
As I beging to mount my horse and head back to my cattle, he alerts me with his nostrils flared....Below me is the Taller Dalton/Scattered Thumbs, even with the distances between us(1/2 mile or better) I can here rumbling. I see Averell is holding his stomache and mumbling loudly. Oh no I think to my self, he is now headed to the tall sage. M horse is now more nervous than ever when a flash occurs from the sage.
The great explosion has left me lying onthe ground unconscious and horseless
A loud boom in the distance awakens Stoney. He's in his bed but don't remember going there. ::) ???
Looking out the window there's no clouds so it weren't thunder. ???
Oh well. Stoney makes his usuall big breakfast and heads out to his chair on the porch.
Slim goes into the kitchen fer coffee and grub. He takes it to the porch. "Morning, Stoney. Ya hear that loud noise? Didn't sound like thunder." ???
<Lookin' at litl rooster's picture of the explosion Delmonico figgers he has tracked that yahoo clear into Wyoming.> ;D
Still feelin' tired from all the dealings with the flying plate people, Delmonico adds some more ice and gets another of his time warp cylinders. ;D
I can settle dow-own and be doin' just fine
Til I hear an old train rollin' down the line
Then I hurry strai-aight home and pack
And if I didn't go, I believe I'd blow my stack
I love you ba-aby, but you gotta understand
When the Lord made me
He made a Ramblin' Man.
Some folks might sa-ay that I'm no good
That I wouldn't settle down if I could
But when that open ro-oad starts to callin' me
There's somethin' o'er the hill that I gotta see
Sometimes it's har-rd but you gotta understand
When the Lord made me, He made a Ra-amblin' Man.
I love to see the tow-owns a-passin' by
And to ride these rails 'neath God's blue sky
Let me travel this la-and from the mountains to the sea
'Cause that's the life I believe He meant for me
And when I'm go-one and at my grave you stand
Just say God called home your Ra-amblin' Man.
Duke decides that he loves Hank's music best of all and sings along. ;D
With no one around fer noon but him and duke, Delmonico grinds some sirloin steak and make a patties out of it. ;D this is placed on sourdough whole wheat bread, and covered with grilled onions and Sharp Cheddar. A trip to the broiler on the stove and Delmonico and duke have invented the "Patty Melt." ;D
"Duke ol' fella, if folks found out about this we could make a fortune. The could ride up, the FFg could go out to their horse or buggy on them new-fangled roller skate and take orders. ;D
I could cook the food and you could keep the fonny-graf a playing after we move it to the porch. ::)
Bet we could get a nickle a song.
We could call it Delmonico's Ride in Eatin' Place. Bet all the young folks out a courtin' would hang round here all evenin' eatin' and a courtin'. ;D
Better get litl rooster back and his fast horse though or them fella's a gonna make it dangeruos by a racin' their horse's out on the road. :o :o ;)
Bellies filled they go back to the office and crank up the the fonny-graph.
Tonight down here in the valley I'm lonesome and oh how I feel
As I sit here alone in my cabin I can see your mansion on the hill
[ steel ]
Do you recall when we parted the story to me you revealed
You said you could live without love dear in your loveless mansion on the hill
[ fiddle ]
I've waited all through the years love to give you a heart true and real
Cause I know you're living in sorrow in your loveless mansion on the hill
The light shines bright from your window the trees stand so silent and still
I know you're alone with your pride dear in your loveless mansion on the hill
Siitin' down at his coal oil computor, Delmonico fills it full and gives it a couple of extra pumps and starts orderin from his list. ;D
Roller Skates, he checks the FFg's shoes by the door for size. ;D
Lager meat grinder.
More flour and yeast
Malt powder. ;D
chock-o-late syrup, strawwberry preserves and vannilla. ;D
A bigger Ice cream maker.
Mustard, ketchup.
Well when I woke up this mornin',
There was a note upon my door,
Said don't make me no coffee Babe,
'cause I won't be back no more,
And that's all she wrote, Dear John,
I've sent your saddle home.
Now Jonah got along in the belly of the whale,
Daniel in the lion's den,
But I know a guy that didn't try to get along,
And he won't get a chance again,
And that's all she wrote, Dear John,
I've fetched your saddle home.
Well she didn't forward no address,
Nor she didn't say goodbye,
All she said was if you get blue,
Just hang your little head and cry,
And that's all she wrote, Dear John,
I've sent your saddle home.
Now my gal's short and stubby,
She's strong as she can be,
But if that little old gal of mine,
Ever get's a-hold of me,
That's all she wrote, Dear John,
I've sent your saddle home.
Now Jonah got along in the belly of the whale,
Daniel in the lion's den,
But I know a man that didn't try to get along,
And he won't get a chance again,
And that's all she wrote, Dear John,
I've fetched your saddle home.
As the music plays on. he writes other notes out. "Get Stoney to get us pork cutlets fer breaded tenderloin and lard fer fries."
"Get taters out of the cellar fer fries, onions fer onion rings." ;D
"Toss a stick of dy-no-mite in river fer fish samwhices."
And last on the list "Hide Trinity." :D :D :D :D :D
"Them 4 strands of wire comin' from Del's room are sure hummin'. Wonder what he's up ta, now?" ???
Delmonico works with his plan,says "play another one Duke." ::) As the song starts to play, Delmonico orders a soda water fountain. and all the stuff needed such as syrup and cabonated water. ;DStandin' by a lonesome graveside
Everything I love is gone
Weeping as they lay my darlin'
'Neath a cold gray tomb of stone
In this world I`m left to wander
With no one to call my own
While my precious darlin`s sleepin'
'Neath a cold gray tomb of stone
Out there in that lonesome graveyard
She is sleepin' all alone
And they buryied my heart with her
'Neath a cold gray tomb of stone
Skies above were dark and stormin'
For the sunshine, all is gone
And the one I love is sleepin'
'Neath a cold gray tomb of stone
My heart is dead and yet Im living
Wondering through this world alone
I wish that I was with my darlin'
'Neath a cold gray tomb of stone
Delmonico looks and the Yaller dog is cryin, "Duke ya dernt near done yerself in, that was a tear jerker." ;D
Delmonico looks at the sad eyed yaller dog and has pity on him. ;D He picks the cylinder this time and gives the handle a crank. ::)
One fine day as I was a-walkin' down the street
Spied a beggar man with rags upon his feet
Took a penny from my pocket
In his tin cup I did drop it
I heard him say as I made my retreat
CHORUS
"May the bird of paradise fly up your nose"
"May an elephant caress you with his toes"
"May your wife be plagued with runners in her hose"
"May the bird of paradise fly up your nose"
The laundry man is really on his toes
Found a hundred-dollar bill among my clothes
When he called me I came a-runnin'
Gave him back his dime for phonin'
I heard him sayin' as I turned to go
CHORUS
I was way behind one day to catch the train
Taxi driver said "We'll make it just the same"
The speed cop made it with us
And as he wrote out the ticket
I stood by politely a-waitin' for my change
CHORUS
Duke I got an idea, why don't we order some pink material and the FFg can make a skirt to whear when she roller skates out to take orders. She could even sew on an aplique poodle just fer fun. ;D
Both the song and the idea make Duke smile a big ol' dog grin. ;D
litl' rooster awakens to the words of some cryin' in the beer music.....hearing it over and over and over in his head....Not knowing where he is being it's dark.. The lump on my head throbs and shrugg it to why I was hearing the strange music. I whistle for my horse but spit out mostly dirt, I try again. He does not come. There is a strong stinge in the air and below me i can see tiny embers glowing....I realize now what happened. I now must wait till light before heading back to the Ranch. Hopefully my horse made it back safely and will be waiting there.
Delmonico finishes up his hard days work. He blows the flame out on his coal oil computor.
He looks a duke who has such sad brown eyes and looks ath the clock. Ok but just one more, it'll be ten and the FFg will turn our cylinders into aroma ther-o-pee candles. ;D
Delmonico puts on another cylinder and gives it a crank.
On top of spagetti,
all covered with cheese.
I lost my poor meat ball,
when somebody sneezed.
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
It rolled of the table,
and on to the floor.
And then my poor meatball,
Rolled out of the door.
::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)
It rolled into the garden,
and under a bush.
And then my poor meatball,
was nothing but moosh.
:P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P
The moosh was as tasty,
as tasty could be.
And early next summer,
it grew into a tree.
::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)
The tree was all covered,
with beutiful moss.
It grew lovely meatballs,
and tomato sauce.
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D
So if you eat spagetti,
All covered with cheese.
Hold on to your meatball,
And don't ever sneeze.
;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)
Delmonico looks at the smiling dog and says "we got that one in under the wire."
<Authors note, The Ranch with no Name is in Central time..>
Watching in her portable crystal ball, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother frowns. After a moment, she pulls her magic wand and waves it over the ball.
When Delmonico places Duke into the door the next time, there is silence for about two minutes, then Duke starts to whine. A minute after that, the stench of roadkill skunk starts to leak out of the door's compartment. The whining becomes whimpering, then howling as the stench grows stronger and Duke begins clawing and tearing at the door to get out. When Delmonico finally opens the door, Duke dashes out, enveloped in a green gas cloud.
She gives a faint smile. "Poodle applique.... heh."
Being always prepared for skunks and dogs, Delmonico gets his spritzer bottle of tomato juice out and in 2 minutes the skunk smell is under control. ;D ;D ;D Delmonico is lighting the burner on his computor as litl roosters horse runs into the barn. ;D
Figgerin' that litl rooster is dead, Delmonico decides it's ok to play the fony-graph and have a memorial service for litl rooster. ::)
Now you're lookin' at a man that's gettin' kind-a mad
I had lot's of luck but it's all been bad
No matter how I struggle and strive
I'll never get out of this world a-live.
My fishin' pole's broke the creek is full of sand
My woman run away with another man
No matter how I struggle and strive
I'll never get out of this world alive.
A distant uncle passed away and left me quite a batch
And I was livin'g high until that fatal day
A lawyer proved I wasn't born
I was only hatched.---
Ev'rything's agin' me and it's got me down
If I jumped in the river I would prob'ly drown
No matter how I struggle and strive
I'll never get out of this world alive.
These shabby shoes I'm wearin' all the time
Are full of holes and nails
And brother if I stepped on a worn out dime
I bet a nickel I could tell you if it was heads or tails.
I'm not gonna worry wrinkles in my brow
'Cause nothin's ever gonna be alright no how
No matter how I struggle and strive
I'll never get out of this world alive.
I could buy a Sunday suit and it would leave me broke
If it had two pair of pants I would burn the coat
No matter how I struggle and strive
I'll never get out of this world alive.
If it was rainin' gold I wouldn't stand a chance
I wouldn't have a pocket in my patched up pants
No matter how I struggle and strive
I'll never get out of this world alive.
When the song is over, Delmonico and Duke bow there heads for a moment of silence. :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( ::) ;)
Some quarter of a mile from the explosion site, Averell/Scattered Thumbs gets back on his feet and dusts himself off with his hat.
Golly! It's not the first time I've been blown sky high like this. But I've must have set a new record. ;D
I wonder what those folks put on their soap. :o
After that Averell pulls up another apple. ::)
As the sun rises in CST he gathers up what fell from his horse (is loaded pistol and 4 rounds that he could find, a short line that come off his saddle horn, his bowie, and a .31 cal pocket derringer that was in his saddlebags primer cap still in place) placing the small pistol in his boot and giving the short line a toss he finds his Hat stuck in some sage. Making bearings with the rise of the sun I start walking, surprizingly I can. Pausing again to hear mumblings and a familiar crunchy sound below where the explosion occured. I'll be damn Averell/Scattered Thumbs is still alive.
Quote from: Delmonico on September 01, 2005, 11:43:20 PM
When the song is over, Delmonico and Duke bow there heads for a moment of silence. :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( ::) ;)
And as the last notes fade to silence, the wax cylinder melts into the phonograph.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother doesn't have to be there for her curse to work.
:P
A green Studebaker pulls up in front of the house. :o
A man hops down from it... He looks just like the other two, but he is shorter. ::)
Daisy wanders across the porch to look at the stranger. Healthy and a little fat, she wags her tail at him.
Nice dog! The stranger patts Daisy on the head and gets his hand tongue washed as Dasy waggs her tail furiously. ( I've met Labradors before, and they all loved me. ;D )
(http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b222/123thumbs/AverellRantanplan.jpg)
<Arthur's note: Mistery of life: All dogs love the Daltons ;D >
Having been greeted by no one else but Daisy the dog. William Dalton hops back to the Studebaker and drives away, resuming the search for his brothers.
Delmonico looks at the Sudebaker wagon (dark green with red trim) leavin' and decides he's gonna have to yell at his waitress for not jumpin' to task and helpin' customers. ;D
(http://store1.yimg.com/I/wagon-wheel_1858_17183081)
As Slim is rumaging around in the kitchen he is grabbed from behind, next thing he knows he's on the porch wearin' a Poodle skirt and roller skates and has a notebook and pencil in the pocket of his skirt. ;D ;D ;D ;D :o :o :o :o ::) ::) ::) ;D ;D ;D :D :D :D :P
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Slim runs to his room to change outta the skeery outfit. :o
Stoney is awakend by the screem and opens his eyes just in time to see slim go by in a skirt and wearing boots the got wheels on them. :o ???
Suddenly afraid he runs to his room and locks himself in. (http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/shock/19.gif)
With Slim and Stoney Pete safley holed up in their rooms, Delmonico takes some mineral spirits and cleans up the melted wax. ;D ;D ;D
He puts on another cylinder and gives it a crank. ;D ;D
back in the saddle again, out where a friend is a friend,
Where the long horn cattle feed on the lonely jimson weed
I'm back in the saddle again.
Ridin' the range once more, totin' my old forty-four,
Where you sleep out every night and the only law is right,
Back in the saddle again.
Whoopi ti yi yo, rockin' to a fro, back in the saddle again
Whoopi ti yi yea, I'll go my own way
Back in the saddle again.
I think Del might like this Studebaker more! ::)
(http://home.nvbell.net/russtc/db_Grnwagon1.jpeg)
(http://home.nvbell.net/russtc/db_Grnwagon2.jpeg)
(http://home.nvbell.net/russtc/db_Grnwagon3.jpeg)
When Slim stops screaming and catches his breath in his room, he can see a small, rectangular box on his bed. The box has a bright blue bow that matches one of the Frumpy Fairy Godmother's dresses.
When he opens the box there is a small note: "For one use only." There is a smile scrawled under the words. Inside the box, under the note, is a six inch long, tapered bamboo wand.
Slim changes into his regular clothes. He has a real good idea who dressed him in the skeery outfit. So, he picks up the bamboo wand and waves it towards Del's room. Del is turned into:
(http://home.earthlink.net/~sherriallen2003/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/zvaude8.jpg)
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
And little Bo Peep wonders what Slim has done with his/her sheep. ::) ::) :o :o :o :o >:( >:( >:( :P :P :P ;)
Delmonico gets changed and gets his coal oir computor fired up, he sends an BW-Mail (barbed wire) to Montana to one Wallace McRae and tells his what Slim has done. ;D ;D ;D ;D
In a few minutes a reply comes. ::)
What does Reincarnation mean?"
A cowpoke asked his friend.
His pal replied, "It happens when
Yer life has reached its end.
They comb yer hair, and warsh yer neck,
And clean yer fingernails,
And lay you in a padded box
Away from life's travails."
"The box and you goes in a hole,
That's been dug into the ground.
Reincarnation starts in when
Yore planted 'neath a mound.
Them clods melt down, just like yer box,
And you who is inside.
And then yore just beginnin' on
Yer transformation ride."
"In a while, the grass'll grow
Upon yer rendered mound.
Till some day on yer moldered grave
A lonely flower is found.
And say a hoss should wander by
And graze upon this flower
That once wuz you, but now's become
Yer vegetative bower."
"The posy that the hoss done ate
Up, with his other feed,
Makes bone, and fat, and muscle
Essential to the steed,
But some is left that he can't use
And so it passes through,
And finally lays upon the ground
This thing, that once wuz you."
"Then say, by chance, I wanders by
And sees this upon the ground,
And I ponders, and I wonders at,
This object that I found.
I thinks of reincarnation,
Of life and death, and such,
And come away concludin': 'Slim,
You ain't changed, all that much.'"
And with that I have called Slim Hoss Poop. :D :D
Delmonico heads out to the kitchen and fixs him and Duke a steak apiece. He notices that Slim's horse is gone. ;D ;D "Well Duke, ya spose we made Slim mad, he done left fer home with out tellin' us by." >:( >:( ;)
With every one either gone or dead (litl rooster ::)) Delmonico gets bored and fires up his coal oil computor and sends and order and has it shipped Over Night Pony Express. ::) ::)
As he shuts down his computor he says "Duke the phoney-graf is fun, but we need something else also." ;D ;D ;D ;D
Author's note ( litl' rooster is too busy wiping up coffee and laughing at Little- Bo-Del-Snid to make a proper responce.)
Author's Note#2 Wallace McCrae is another good ole Montanian Cattleman/Sheepman and Banker and Cowboy/Poet
<Author's note: I would have taken a PO8try class in High Skool if'n they'd a offered Cowboy PO8try. Instead I got my English requirment as far as electives by takin' Drama classes. Also more useful that most English classes. Got my butt in dutch with an English teacher that was as old as dirt. This was some required class,. We read a really stupid boring book she asked each of us to tell why we thought the author wrote it. I said cause his wife told him if he didn't make some money soon, he'd have to get a job. :o :o ::) ::) ::) :D ;)
Duke comes up and looks at Delmonico with those sad eyes, Delmonico decides the heck with the FFg and her orders, there ain't anyone home but Duke and him. They'll listen to some more Hank and then they'll go look for the buzzards and see if they find where litl rooster is. ::) :P
:
There's a tear in my beer
'cause I'm cryin' for you,dear
you are on my lonely mind.
Into these last nine beers
I have shed a million tears.
You are on my lonely mind
I'm gonna keep drinkin'
until I'm petrified.
And then maybe these tears
will leave my eyes.
There's a tear in my beer
cause I'm crying' for you dear
You are on my lonely mind.
Last night I walked the floor
and the night before
You are on my lonely mind.
It seems my life is through
and I'm so doggone blue
You are on my lonely mind.
I'm gonna keep drinkin'
till I can't move a toe
and then maybe my heart
won't hurt me so.
There's a tear in my beer
cause I'm cryin' for you dear
You are on my lonely mind.
Lord, I've tried and I've tried
But my tears I can't hide
You are on my lonely mind.
All these blues that I've found
Have really got me down
You are on my lonely mind
I'm gonna keep drinkin' till I can't even think
Cause in the last week I ain't slept a wink
There's a tear in my beer
cause I'm crying for you dear
You are on my lonely mind.
Delmonico finds a cylinder by someone named Jones. ;D ;D
He knows this will get to the yaller dog. ;D ;D
He said I'll love you 'til I die
She told him you'll forget in time
As the years went slowly by
She still preyed upon his mind
He kept her picture on his wall
Went half crazy now and then
He still loved her through it all
Hoping she'd come back again
Kept some letters by his bed
Dated 1962
He had underlined in red
Every single I love you
I went to see him just today
Oh but I didn't see no tears
All dressed up to go away
First time I'd seen him smile in years
(Chorus)
He stopped loving her today
They placed a wreath upon his door
And soon they'll carry him away
He stopped loving her today
(Spoken)
You know she came to see him one last time
Oh and we all wondered if she would
And it kept running through my mind
This time he's over her for good
(Repeat Chorus)
Surprizinly the Blast and fall I made the night before did not kill me.... Other than the goose egg on my head, which is causing me to hear strange whiny music, torn britches, and my horse running back home. I have survived, with just a injured pride, I've been thrown from a horse in the past, but my pride was injured when I have to walk all day.
About mid day I came across 4 wagons headed west, durn fools still think there is gold to be found up the Bozeman, behind the wagons were 2 yungins' ride double on a large pony leadind a gray mule with a McClelland on it. I warned the the eldest of this small train of Daltons wandering about, and told him of my experiance. I also warned them of their eating habits, and advised them to keep there belongs locked up if they come across them. The elder then told me they were unarmed and would trade me the mule and saddle for the boot pistol.... I couldn't part with it, but offered the Walker instead(couldn't hit nothing with it anyhow and takes to long to load).
Mounting the Mule he bucks 2 quick hops and off he goes, nice smooth gate but can tell he hasn't been rode much, but at this pace I'll be back at the Ranch before the A&W root beer signs go up
The morning finds the Frumpy Fairy Godmother out on the porch, greeting the day with a fresh cup of coffee, a dreamy smile, and new freckles. The kitchen carries the scent of blueberry scones.
When she sees Litl' Rooster's horse wandering around the stable, she puts her cup on the porch to tend to it. A while later the brushed and fed horse is tethered to the buckboard. Litl' Rooster's saddle and gear are in the back. Betty nickers at her gently as the Frumpy Fairy Godmother hooks the buckboard to her.
After a short trip to the house to rinse her cup and gather a few scones, some water, and her hat, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother is off to find their errant cattleman.
Delmonico hollors, " I'll be out later ta help ya look fer the buzzards circlin' I'm sure they've found him by now. Right now the Overnite Pony Express is late." ;D ;D
As soon as he says that, four iders show up and he has them put the boxes in the barn. ??? ???
Delmonico and Duke then head out on buzzard patrol. :P
After a while Delmonico decides that since he sees no buzzards, litl rooser either ain't really dead or he drown't in the river. ::) :o
So he heads back to the ranch and starts building a small shed right outside his office. ???
Stoney awakens to the smell of Blueberries. He comes out to find the FFG on the porch. He blows her a kiss pours some coffee. He takes a scone and heads out to the porch.
[Authors note: I is on vacation. Don't know when or if Stoney will move from this hear porch. FFG make Dell be nice to him while I'm gone.]
Delmonico finishes his tiny shead and starts carryin' square fish bowls to it. ??? ??? ??? ???
As he carries them he keep a look out fer the buzzards. ::)
Delmonico is next seen carrying metal plates and jugs of clear liquid into his shed. ::) He goes into his office and two small booms that sound like a 32WCF (32-20) ring out.
Delmonico is next seen pushin' wires through two holes in the wall. :o :o ::) ;D
As dark swiftly falls lit' rooster spots a buck board
slowly moving along the flats along of the Dismal....It's FFg , I holler out, which spooks the mule and cause's him to jump. I've finally made it back, with time to still fill my cattle contracts. FFg stops the buckboard and allows me to catch up.
Mean while, back at the ranch, ;D it is now dark, as one nears the ranch a some what strange sight is seen. The light in the window of Delmoico's office is not a yellow flickering one, but an unflickering whitish one. ??? ::) ;D ;D ;)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother clambers out of the buckboard to hug Litl' Rooster. She helps him transfer over to his horse. They tether the mule to the wagon and head for home. As they near, she draws up short.
"There's a strange light over there. Think the aliens have come back for Delmonico?"
Duke is lookin'out the window like someone is comin'. Delmonico looks over the cylinders and picks one, if folks are comin' home he'll have to get on last one on before the curfew. ;D ;D
Well, when you're down on your luck,
and you ain't got a buck,
in London you're a goner.
Even London Bridge has fallen down,
and moved to Arizona,
now I know why.
And I'll substantiate the rumor that the English sense of humor
is drier than than the Texas sand.
You can put up your dukes, and you can bet your boots
that I'm leavin' just as fast as I can.
I wanna go home with the arma [Am] dillo
Good country music from Ama rillo and Abi lene
The friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever [G]
seen.
Well, it's cold over here, and I swear
I wish they'd turn the heat on.
And where in the world is that English girl
I promised I would meet on the third floor.
And of the whole damn lot, the only friend I've got
is a smoke and a cheap guitar.
My mind keeps roamin', my heart keeps longin'
to be home in a Texas bar.
Chorus
Well, I decided that I'd get my cowboy hat
and go down to Marble Art Station.
'Cause when a Texan fancies, he'll take his chances.
Chances will be taken, that's for sure.
And them Limey eyes, they were eyein' the prize
that some people call manly footwear.
And they said you're from down South,
and when you open your mouth,
you always seem to put your foot there.
Repeat chorus 'til the cows come home
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Gettin' tired of who ever is coming to get there, Delmonico opens a switch and the strange light goes out. ;D ;D ::) ::) ::)
Just then a sleepy trinity is heard knocking, no... banging, at his door in his sleeping cap, tapping one foot impatiently. >:( >:(
Delmonico opens the door, duke bites Trinity on the leg and Delmonico says, "The Ranch with no Name" is in the Central Time zone, even duke n\knows we were in under the curfew. ::) ::) ::)
Reset yer watch to the right time. ;D
Delmonico gives a raspberry,duke bites the other leg and they shut the door. :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P
"OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!! You derned dawg! That weren't mah laig!"
Delmonico posts a sign in the kitchen. "The Ranch with No Name is on Central Time as per the Rail Road Time Tables and because of a stupid time warp we have to have Daylight Savings time." ;D ;D ;D
Any questions can be answered here. http://aa.usno.navy.mil/faq/docs/us_tzones.html
Every one set their watch to this time to avoid futher confusion. Duke is in charge of questions and complaints. ;D
Arriving back to the Ranch with no Name, FFG, tells me about Del's music machine and the curfew. To avoid being bit by Duke we quietly unharness Betty and turn the horses and Mule out. FFg flys back to her Cupalo for the night leaving a cloud of sparklling sawdust in her trail. I go back to the barn and prepare for my fall round up. This will last till mid November so I must prepare to head out in 2 days.
tacking a note on the barn door to the others, which reads; If Averell Dalton, the shorter one/Scatter Thumbs returns offering the Gray Mule for Free....I will wire you all occassionaly along the trail.
Author's note> the songs finally stopped in my head, Except the one by that Hiram Williams fella ;D
<Hiram Hank Williams ;D Good man litl rooster glad the buzzards didn't get ya. ;D)
With no one home but the FFg takin' a nap, Delmonico decides it ain't curfew time so he gets into his Time warp collection and gets one by someone named Guy Clark. ::)
Well, he was wino, tried and true.
Done about everything there is to do.
He worked on freighters, an' he'd worked in bars.
He worked on farms, an' he'd worked on cars.
It was white port that put that look in his eye,
Grown men get when they need to cry.
We sat down on the curb to rest,
And his head just fell down on his chest.
He says: "Every single day it gets,
"Just a little bit harder to handle and yet. . ."
Then he lost the thread and his mind got cluttered,
And the words just rolled off down the gutter.
Well, he was elevator man in a cheap hotel,
In exchange for the rent on a one room cell.
An' he's old: years beyond his time,
No thanks to the world, and the white port wine.
So he said: "Son." He always called me son.
Said: "Life for you has just begun."
An' then he told me the story I'd heard before
How he fell in love with a Dallas whore.
Now, he could cut through the years to the very night,
When it ended in a whore house fight.
And she turned his last proposal down,
In favor of being a girl about town.
Now it's been seventeen years, right in line,
He ain't been straight in none of the time.
It's too many days of fightin' the weather,
An' too many nights of not being together.
So he died.
Instrumental break.
An' when they went through his personal effects,
In among the stubs from the welfare checks,
Was a crumblin' picture of a girl in a door,
An' an address in Dallas, and nothin' more.
An' the welfare people provided the priest,
A couple from the mission down the street,
Sang "Amazing Grace", and no one cried,
'Cept some lady in black, way off to the side.
We all left and she's standing there,
A black veil covering her silver hair.
Ol' One-Eyed John said her name was Alice,
An' she used to be a whore in Dallas.
So let him roar, Lord, let him roll.
I bet he's gone to Dallas, rest his soul.
Just you let him roll, Lord, let him roar
He always said that heaven
Was just a Dallas whore.
Just you let him roar, Lord, let him roll.
I bet he's gone to Dallas, rest his soul.
Duke cries a river of tears. ::)
After dark the whitish light shows up in Delmonico's office, unflickering as last night. ;D
Fellow, on a mouse colored horse rides up in the dark of night. Says to his self "hummm, people gettin' bit on the legs and he's wearin' a funny hat! Not a good time to stop by and say howdy. Guess I'll mosey over to the nearest river, set up camp, and bath. Mosey on back during the day and see if I can get some of that good grub!" Gives his horse a little spur, horse gives a little kick, a buck, and settles into a comfortable lope. "Be back sooner than ol' slim can brand a steer." :o
Brazos
Delmonico hears hoof beats out side, they go on by, but Duke goes and looks out the window and whines like it is a long lost friend. ;)
With Duke a whinin' Delmonico decides to play another whinin' song for him.
See the rain comin' down and the roof won't hold 'er
Lost my job and I feel a little older
Car won't run and our love's grown colder
But maybe things'll get a little better, in the mornin'
Maybe things'll get a little better.
Oh! the clothes need washin' and the fire won't start
Kids all cryin' and you're breakin' my heart
Whole darn place is fallin' apart
Maybe things'll get a little better, in the mornin'
Maybe things'll get a little better.
Refrain:
Work your fingers to the bone - whadda ya get?
( Whoo-whoo ) Boney Fingers - Boney Fing-gers.
Yea! I've been broke as long as I remember
Get a little money and I gotta run and spend 'er
When I try to save it, pretty woman come and take it
Sayin' maybe things'll get a little better, in the mornin'
Maybe things'll get a little better.
Refrain:
Yea! the grass won't grow and the sun's too hot
The whole darn world is goin' to pot
Might as well like it 'cause you're all that I've got
But, maybe things'll get a little better, in the mornin'
Maybe things'll get a little better.
Refrain:
Seeing Delmonico in the kitchen with the musical device playing loudly after curfew (Trinity Time), he slips into Del's office and pours a liberal portion of recipe onto the spinning cylinder and runs. The friction soon heats up and causes the recipe to flare up. Within minutes the wax is melted and the alcohol is burned off leaving no trace. Needless to say, the music is abruptly halted. (Note this is not the same recipe as the Flambé incident)
Soon Trinity is happily snoring on the porch, swinging in the hammock.
Delmonico knows that Trinity is the only one around to have caused the problems. :o
So him and Duke sneak up and tie Trinity up in the hammock and them tie him straight up to a porch post. :o :o Gathering several jugs of the recipe, they pour it in a tub and light it off. :o While Trinity watches it burn, delmonico and the Yaller dog go back to the office. :D Soon the strange unflickering white glow appears and music once again emits from the office. ;)
Well in North Carolina, way back in the hills
Me and my old pappy had a hand in a still
We brewed white lightnin' 'til the sun went down
Then he'd fill him a jug and he'd pass it around
Mighty, mighty pleasin, pappy's corn squeezin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'
Chorus:
Well the "G" men, "T" men, revenuers, too
Searchin' for the place where he made his brew
They were looking, tryin to book him,
But my pappy kept a-cookin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'
Well I asked my old pappy why he called his brew
White lightnin' 'stead of mountain dew
I took a little sip and right away I knew
As my eyes bugged out and my face turned blue
Lightnin' started flashin' and thunder started crashin'
Shhhoooh . . . white lightnin'
Chorus:
Well the "G" men, "T" men, revenuers, too
Searchin' for the place where he made his brew
They were looking, tryin to book him,
but my pappy kept a-cookin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'
Well a city slicker came and he said "I'm tough"
I think I wanna taste that powerful stuff
He took one g-g-glug and drank it right down
And I heard him a moaning as he hit the ground
Mighty, mighty pleasin, pappy's corn squeezin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'
Chorus:
Well the "G" men, "T" men, revenuers, too
Searchin' for the place where he made his brew
They were looking, tryin to book him,
but my pappy kept a-cookin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'...
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Helpless, Trinity can only watch his "premium" recipe burn.
:'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
Through his whimpering, he hears the current song and starts to hum then sing along.
"Whhhhooosh . . . white lightnin''' *sniff*
Delmonico changes the cylinder, "And now for sumthin' completely different" he says. ::)
Have gun will travel, reads the card of a man
A knight without armor in a savage land
Hisfast gun hire, heeds the calling wind
A soldier of fortune, is a man called --- Pal-a -din
Paladin, Paladin, where do you roam
Paladin, Paladin, far, far from home
He travels on to where-ever he must
A chess knight of silver is his badge of trust
There are campfire legends that the plainsmen sing
Of the man with the gun, of the man called --- Pal-a- din.
Paladin, Paladin, where do you roam
Paladin, Paladin, far, far from home
Far from home, far from home.
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Trinity continues to sob and sing to himself:
:'( :'( "Whhhhooosh . . . white lightnin''' *sniff* :'( :'(
"Whhhhooosh . . . white lightnin''' :'(
Delmonico takes the phonee-graf out to the porch and places the cone right near Trinity's ear. ::)
Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
But you can be happy if you've a mind to
Ya can't take a shower in a parakeet cage
Ya can't take a shower in a parakeet cage
Ya can't take a shower in a parakeet cage
But you can be happy if you've a mind to
All ya gotta do is put your mind to it
Knuckle down, buckle down, do it, do it, do it
Well, ya can't go a-swimmin' in a baseball pool
Ya can't go swimmin' in a baseball pool
Ya can't go swimmin' in a baseball pool
But you can be happy if you've a mind to
Ya can't change film with a kid on your back
Ya can't change film with a kid on your back
Ya can't change film with a kid on your back
But you can be happy if you've a mind to
Ya can't drive around with a tiger in your car
Ya can't drive around with a tiger in your car
Ya can't drive around with a tiger in your car
But you can be happy if you've a mind to
All ya gotta do is put your mind to it
Knuckle down, buckle down do it, do it, do it
Well, ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
But you can be happy if you've a mind to
Ya can't go fishin' in a watermelon patch
Ya can't go fishin' in a watermelon patch
Ya can't go fishin' in a watermelon patch
But you can be happy if you've a mind to
Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Delmonico has now got a really strange look on his face as he hollors, "he Grandpa what's for supper" and as he spins the crank, Grandpa Jones answers. ;D ;D
There's a big holler tree down the road here from me where ya lay
down a dollar er two. Well you go round the bend and when you come
back again there's a jug full o' good ole mountain dew
Oh they call it that ole mountain dew and them that refuse it are few.
I'll shut up my mug if you fill up my jug with some good ole mountain dew.
Now my uncle Nort, he's sawed off and short, he measures about four
foot two, but he thinks he's a giant when you give him a pint of that
good ole mountain dew.
Well my ole aunt Jill bought some brand new perfume. It had such a
sweet smellin' pew, but to her surprise, when she had it analyzed, it
was nothin but good ole mountain dew.
Well the preacher rolled by with his head heisted high, said his wife
had been down with the flu, and he thought that I ought just uh sell him
a quart of that good ole mountain dew.
Well my brother Bill's got a still on the hill where he runs of a gallon
or two. Now the buzzards in the sky get so drunk they can't fly from
smellin' the good ole mountain dew.
Oh they call it that ole mountain dew and them that refuse it are few.
I'll shut up my mug if you fill up my jug with some good ole mountain dew.
With the real and proper curfew time drawin' near, Delmonico plays one last cylinder.
I've always been crazy and the trouble that it's put me through
I've been busted for things that I did, and I didn't do
I can't say I'm proud of all of the things that I've done
But I can say I've never intentionally hurt anyone
I've always been different with one foot over the line
Winding up somewhere one step ahead or behind
It ain't been so easy but I guess I shouldn't complain
I've always been crazy but it's kept me from going insane
Beautiful lady are you sure that you understand
The chances your taking loving a free living man
Are you really sure you really want what you see
Be careful of something that's just what you want it to be
I've always been crazy but it's kept me from going insane
Nobody knows if it's something to bless or to blame
So far I ain't found a rhyme or a reason to change
I've always been crazy but it's kept me from going insane
;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)
With that over, Delmonico takes the fooony-grapf back to his office. ;D ;D
Delmonico and duke untie Trinity and lower his prostrate body to the porch. They leave a note on him, "Slim: Drag Trinity in when you get back and put him in his bed." ;D ;D ;D
As Delmonico and Duke head to bed they here a sound from Trinity: "Whooosh White Lightnin". ;D
Ol' Brazos done rid by the ranch, findin' nobody and more importantly no grub, rides on into town and spots Delmonico watchin' trinity roll around on the ground moanin'. Brazos Reins up in front of the two, his mouse colored horse takes one look at Trinity rollin' around his feet and give him a little back foot side kick to the head! :o
"Sorry about that" he casually says to Trinity. "Good thing he ain't wearin' shoes! Hey Delmonico, where does a feller get some good grub since your cookin' irons is cold? I am a might hungrey?"
"And, when I am done eatin', gots to be lookin' for me a place to work. This ridin' around the country is breath take'in but not good fer vittles gettin'."
Brazos 8)
<Authors note, we are at the ranch ;D but it's a lot to read to catch up.)
"Well, just step over Trinity and come on in, I'll make some ham and red eye gravy and some biscuits. Stoney Pete done gave up bounty huntin' and became a hog farmer." <Humm, could we base a Movie on that idea? ;D ;D ;D Must call Mr. Eastwood. ::)>
"Ya could partner with him, or get a holt of litl rooster, he seems to be always runnin' round doin' roundups. There is a bounty hunter shows up time to time, but he never seems to catch any one. Fact is I gots an idea fer a money maker, can you roller skate?"
<Delmonico makes a note not to forget Stoney Pete is on 2 week vacation and is sleepin' in his hammock on the porch. ;D>
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother is gliding down the stairs as Delmonico and Bucky enter. She darts a quick glare to the cosie then her face softens and she smiles as she offers a calloused hand to the man.
"Hello, a pleasure to see you!"
Delomoco whispers to BBS,"She's gettin' a bit senile lately, she fergets you used to ride through now and then." ;D ;D ;D ;D
"Well enjoy yer stay, I'm off to write a movin' picture script, that way it will be ready when Mr. Edison gets round to inventin' it. I'll base it on our ex-bounty hunter turned pig farmer, I'll name it "Sort of Forgiven." ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
This time, she turns a full bore, icicle in the eyeballs glare to Delmonico.
"I know Mr. Smith, I was being pleasant! I said it was good to see him, didn't I?"
Her smile returns in a smaller form as she looks back to Brazos Bucky. "I hope you can stay a while. Would you like a room in the main house or in the bohunk house?"
Slim rides in and sees Trinity laying on the ground. He dismounts and reads the sign on Trinity. Slim puts his horse away and puts the cheese in the icebox. He then draps Trinity and puts him in bed. "Is anyone home?"
Delmonico hollors, "run, while you have a chance Slim, she's on a rampage again." ;D ;D
<Delmonico decides not to mention the roller skates and poodle skirt right now. ::)>
"Slim, did ya find that nice poem that I found that mentioned you?"
"Who'z an a rampage?" ???
"Yep, I found the poem. Thanks fer thinkin' of me when I was gone." ::) ::) ::) ::)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother hugs Slim in greeting and whispers in his ear.
"Delmonico added onto his room and now, along with the loud music, there's a strange light coming from his new window. I think he's invited the people from the flying plates to move in."
"Well thank ya, ma'am."
"He had better not invited them to stay or I'll take the 'Mighty Ten' after 'em." >:( >:( >:( >:( >:(
Delmonico heard that, "No I thought about providin' them with a landin' strip and see if they behaved. ;D But decided that Neverland was a better place for them to land." ;D ;D
"That light is my new Edison Carbon Filliment Light Bulb. I'm trying one out to see if they are any good. Might have to get a bunch fer the whole house. ::) "Cept for Trinity's room, i'd drive him crazy a blowin' it out." ::) :o :D ;)
"Whhhhooosh . . . white lightnin'!" Trinity awakens with a start ... and with a song in his head
"What tahm is it?" He gets out of bed and goes down stairs to find the rest of the group.
As Trinity passes Delmonico's office the white unflickerin' glow leaks out under the door. ;D Also the last song before the true Central time curfew is playin', kind of a nasal voice backed up by a gee-tar that sounds like it has a big hole in it. ;D ;D ::) ;)
The red-headed stranger from Blue Rock, Montana,
Rode into town one day.
And under his knees was a ragin' black stallion,
And walkin' behind was a bay.
The red-headed stranger had eyes like the thunder,
And his lips, they were sad and tight.
His little lost love lay asleep on the hillside,
And his heart was heavy as night.
Don't cross him, don't boss him.
He's wild in his sorrow:
He's ridin' an' hidin his pain.
Don't fight him, don't spite him;
Just wait till tomorrow,
Maybe he'll ride on again.
A yellow-haired lady leaned out of her window,
An' watched as he passed her way.
She drew back in fear at the sight of the stallion,
But cast greedy eyes on the bay.
But how could she know that this dancin' bay pony,
Meant more to him than life.
For this was the horse that his little lost darlin',
Had ridden when she was his wife.
Don't cross him, don't boss him.
He's wild in his sorrow:
He's ridin' an' hidin his pain.
Don't fight him, don't spite him;
Just wait till tomorrow,
Maybe he'll ride on again.
The yellow-haired lady came down to the tavern,
An' looked up the stranger there.
He bought her a drink, an' he gave her some money,
He just didn't seem to care.
She followed him out as he saddled his stallion,
An' laughed as she grabbed at the bay.
He shot her so quick, they had no time to warn her,
She never heard anyone say:
"Don't cross him, don't boss him.
"He's wild in his sorrow:
"He's ridin' an' hidin his pain.
"Don't fight him, don't spite him;
"Just wait till tomorrow,
"Maybe he'll ride on again."
The yellow-haired lady was buried at sunset;
The stranger went free, of course.
For you can't hang a man for killin' a woman,
Who's tryin' to steal your horse.
Tthis is the tale of the red headed stranger,
And if he should pass your way,
Stay out of the path of the ragin' black stallion,
And don't lay a hand on the bay.
Don't cross him, don't boss him.
He's wild in his sorrow:
He's ridin' an' hidin his pain.
Don't fight him, don't spite him;
Just wait till tomorrow,
Maybe he'll ride on again.
<Author's Note: Willie at his best, from his 1976 "Red Headed Stranger Album" kinda a Outlaw Country Opera.>
Trinity doesn't hear a note as he passes Delmonico's office as he's humming to himself: "Hmmm hmm mmmm hmm mm Whhhhooosh . . . white lightnin'!"
Delmonico decides that if the FFg and the others let Trinity walk around and sing after curfew, then he can play his phoney-graph also. ;D ;D ;D ;D To object to that would be an unfair double standard. ;D So he puts on a cylinder and gives it a crank. :o
Well in North Carolina, way back in the hills
Me and my old pappy had a hand in a still
We brewed white lightnin' 'til the sun went down
Then he'd fill him a jug and he'd pass it around
Mighty, mighty pleasin, pappy's corn squeezin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'
Chorus:
Well the "G" men, "T" men, revenuers, too
Searchin' for the place where he made his brew
They were looking, tryin to book him,
But my pappy kept a-cookin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'
Well I asked my old pappy why he called his brew
White lightnin' 'stead of mountain dew
I took a little sip and right away I knew
As my eyes bugged out and my face turned blue
Lightnin' started flashin' and thunder started crashin'
Shhhoooh . . . white lightnin'
Chorus:
Well the "G" men, "T" men, revenuers, too
Searchin' for the place where he made his brew
They were looking, tryin to book him,
but my pappy kept a-cookin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'
Well a city slicker came and he said "I'm tough"
I think I wanna taste that powerful stuff
He took one g-g-glug and drank it right down
And I heard him a moaning as he hit the ground
Mighty, mighty pleasin, pappy's corn squeezin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'
Chorus:
Well the "G" men, "T" men, revenuers, too
Searchin' for the place where he made his brew
They were looking, tryin to book him,
but my pappy kept a-cookin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'...
;) ;)
And another crank:
Well in North Carolina, way back in the hills
Me and my old pappy had a hand in a still
We brewed white lightnin' 'til the sun went down
Then he'd fill him a jug and he'd pass it around
Mighty, mighty pleasin, pappy's corn squeezin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'
Chorus:
Well the "G" men, "T" men, revenuers, too
Searchin' for the place where he made his brew
They were looking, tryin to book him,
But my pappy kept a-cookin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'
Well I asked my old pappy why he called his brew
White lightnin' 'stead of mountain dew
I took a little sip and right away I knew
As my eyes bugged out and my face turned blue
Lightnin' started flashin' and thunder started crashin'
Shhhoooh . . . white lightnin'
Chorus:
Well the "G" men, "T" men, revenuers, too
Searchin' for the place where he made his brew
They were looking, tryin to book him,
but my pappy kept a-cookin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'
Well a city slicker came and he said "I'm tough"
I think I wanna taste that powerful stuff
He took one g-g-glug and drank it right down
And I heard him a moaning as he hit the ground
Mighty, mighty pleasin, pappy's corn squeezin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'
Chorus:
Well the "G" men, "T" men, revenuers, too
Searchin' for the place where he made his brew
They were looking, tryin to book him,
but my pappy kept a-cookin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'...
As he hears Trinity in the background he plays it again. ;D
Well in North Carolina, way back in the hills
Me and my old pappy had a hand in a still
We brewed white lightnin' 'til the sun went down
Then he'd fill him a jug and he'd pass it around
Mighty, mighty pleasin, pappy's corn squeezin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'
Chorus:
Well the "G" men, "T" men, revenuers, too
Searchin' for the place where he made his brew
They were looking, tryin to book him,
But my pappy kept a-cookin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'
Well I asked my old pappy why he called his brew
White lightnin' 'stead of mountain dew
I took a little sip and right away I knew
As my eyes bugged out and my face turned blue
Lightnin' started flashin' and thunder started crashin'
Shhhoooh . . . white lightnin'
Chorus:
Well the "G" men, "T" men, revenuers, too
Searchin' for the place where he made his brew
They were looking, tryin to book him,
but my pappy kept a-cookin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'
Well a city slicker came and he said "I'm tough"
I think I wanna taste that powerful stuff
He took one g-g-glug and drank it right down
And I heard him a moaning as he hit the ground
Mighty, mighty pleasin, pappy's corn squeezin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'
Chorus:
Well the "G" men, "T" men, revenuers, too
Searchin' for the place where he made his brew
They were looking, tryin to book him,
but my pappy kept a-cookin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'...
and again and again the song plays into the wee hours of the night, Trinity and Duke back up the song
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Well in North Carolina, way back in the hills
Me and my old pappy had a hand in a still
We brewed white lightnin' 'til the sun went down
Then he'd fill him a jug and he'd pass it around
Mighty, mighty pleasin, pappy's corn squeezin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'
Chorus:
Well the "G" men, "T" men, revenuers, too
Searchin' for the place where he made his brew
They were looking, tryin to book him,
But my pappy kept a-cookin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'
Well I asked my old pappy why he called his brew
White lightnin' 'stead of mountain dew
I took a little sip and right away I knew
As my eyes bugged out and my face turned blue
Lightnin' started flashin' and thunder started crashin'
Shhhoooh . . . white lightnin'
Chorus:
Well the "G" men, "T" men, revenuers, too
Searchin' for the place where he made his brew
They were looking, tryin to book him,
but my pappy kept a-cookin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'
Well a city slicker came and he said "I'm tough"
I think I wanna taste that powerful stuff
He took one g-g-glug and drank it right down
And I heard him a moaning as he hit the ground
Mighty, mighty pleasin, pappy's corn squeezin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'
Chorus:
Well the "G" men, "T" men, revenuers, too
Searchin' for the place where he made his brew
They were looking, tryin to book him,
but my pappy kept a-cookin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'...
Alas for Delmonico, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother's spell knows the difference between a human's humming and the cranking of the phonograph, and now two more of the wax cylinders melt into a puddle of goo.
Quote from: Delmonico on September 06, 2005, 05:59:49 PM
Delmonico heard that, "No I thought about providin' them with a landin' strip and see if they behaved. ;D But decided that Neverland was a better place for them to land." ;D ;D
"That light is my new Edison Carbon Filliment Light Bulb. I'm trying one out to see if they are any good. Might have to get a bunch fer the whole house. ::) "Cept for Trinity's room, i'd drive him crazy a blowin' it out." ::) :o :D ;)
<Arthur's note: Where is Del getting the 'lectricity fer that new fangled bulb? They're in the middle nowhere. ???>
Slim walk into the kitchen fer some coffee. Seeing nobody has started it, he puts a new pot on.
Delmonico finishes his letter he is writing and adds some of the melted wax to the flap of the envalope. ::) When it is almost hard he presses his seal into it. (A dutch oven with a D in the middle.) ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Puttin' it in the bag for the Pony Rider he goes back to his office and fires up his computor. ::) He then types in his new found website. www.timewarpcylinders.com ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
As the site is loading he cleans up the rest of the wax and puts one another cylinder. ;D ;D
On a greyhound bus,
Lord I'm traveling this morning
I'm going to Shreveport and on down to New Orleans
Been driving these highways,
Been doing things my way
It's been making me lonesome on'ry and mean
Now her hair was jet black,
And her name was Codene
Thought she was the cream of the Basin Street queens
She got tired of that smokey whine dream
Began to feel lonesome on'ry and mean
We got together, and we cashed in our sweeps.
Gave 'em to a beggar
Who was mumbling through the streets
There's no escaping
From his snowy white dreams
Born lookin' lonesome on'ry and mean
Now i'm down in this valley,
Where the wheels turn so low
At dawn i pray, to the Lord of my soul
I say do Lord, do right by me
You know I'm tired of being lonesomeon'ry and mean
Yodelayeeee...
At the sound of the Waylon Jennings music, the FFg's leather whoppin' had starts to dance a Texas Two Step. ;D ;D ::) ::) ;D
<Authors note, Slim go back and look at the shed building, the glass fish bowls, the clear liquid and the metal plates. A wet cell bat-tree, just like they used to power the telly-graph. :P)
Quote from: Delmonico on September 07, 2005, 09:19:03 AM
<Authors note, Slim go back and look at the shed building, the glass fish bowls, the clear liquid and the metal plates. A wet cell bat-tree, just like they used to power the telly-graph. :P)
<Arthur's note: Oooooooooooooooooooh! Sometimes we northern Yankees take a bit longer. ::)>
< Brain Freeze? ;D>
Delmonico is out in the kitchen cooking him some dinner that will make lots of leftovers if anyone needs a quick meal. He's a makin' fried rice Cosie's style. (Yep big skillet, not the wok.) rice, peas, bacon, onion and some cabbage. ;D ;D Good fer what ails ya! ;D
He's taken the foney-graf out there with him and dug out a cylinder from that "Time Warp Comapany" by some fellar named Tom T. Hall. The website said he liked ta tell stories. ;D
He was an old-time cowboy, don't you understand his eyes were sharp as razor blades his face was leather tan his toes were pointed inward from a-hangin' on a horse he was an old philosopher, of
He was so thin i swear you could have used him for a whip he had to drink a beer to keep his britches on his hips i knew i had to ask him about the mysteries of life he spit between his boots and he replied
"it's faster horses, younger women, older whiskey, and more money"
He smiled and all his teeth were covered with tobacco stains he said, "it don't do men no good to pray for peace and rain. peace and rain is just a way to say prosperity, and buffalo chips is all it means to me."
I told him i was a poet, i was lookin' for the truth i do not care for horses, whiskey, women or the loot i said i was a writer, my soul was all on fire he looked at me an' he said, "you are a liar."
"it's faster horses, younger women, older whiskey, and more money"
Well, i was disillusioned, if i say the least i grabbed him by the collar and i jerked him to his feet there was something cold and shiny layin' by my head so i started to believe the things he said
Well, my poet days are over and i'm back to being me as i enjoy the peace and comfort of reality if my boy ever asks me what it is that i have learned i think that i will readily affirm
"it's faster horses, younger women, older whiskey, and more money"
With supper ready to reheat and the kitchen cleaned up, delmonico is bored, so he gets another cylinder. ;D ;D ;D
It's the same old tune, fiddle and guitar
Where do we take it from here
Rhinestone suits and new shiny cars
We've been the same way for years
We need to change
Somebody told me when I got to Nashville
Son you finally got it made
Old Hank made it here, we're all sure that you will
But I don't think Hank done it this way
I don't think Hank done it this way
Ten years down the road, making one night stands
Speeding my young life away
Tell me one more time just so I understand
Are you sure Hank done it this way
Did Ol' Hank really do it this way?
I've seen the world with a five piece band
Looking at the back side of me
Singing my songs and one of his now and then
But I don't think Hank done 'em this a'way
No I don't think Hank done 'em this a'way
Take it home
And as expected, the FFg's leather hat comes down from the cupalo and dances a Texas Two Step when it hears Waylon wailin'. ::) ::)
Slim goes into the kitchen fer some grub. "Howdy, Del."
((Author's note: The Frumpy Fairy Godmother doesn't have a leather hat. So there. :P ))
<Authors note, yes she does. :P :P :P :P>
"Hello Slim, I'll refry you some fried rice in a couple of minutes." (Refried Rice? ??? ::))
"But first watch this, I play a cylinder by some fella named Waylon Jennings and the FFg's leather hat dances." :o :o ::) ::) :o ;D :D ;)
There only two things in life that make it worth livin'
That's guitars that tune good and firm feelin' women
I don't need my name in the marquis lights
I got my song and I got you with me tonight
Maybe it's time we got back to the basics of love
Chorus:
Let's go to Luckenbach Texas with Waylon and Willie and the boys
This successful life we're livin' got us fueding
like the Hatfield and McCoys
Between Hank Williams pain songs, Newberry's train songs
and blue eyes cryin' in the rain out in Luckenbach Texas
ain't nobody feelin' no pain
So baby let's sell your diamond ring
Buy some boots and faded jeans and go away
This coat and tie is choking me
In your high socitey you cry all day
We've been so busy keepin' up with the Jones
Four car garage and we're still building on
Maby it's time we got back to the basics of love
Chorus:
Let's go to Luckenbach Texas with Waylon and Willie and the boys
This successful life we're livin' got us fueding
like the Hatfield and McCoys
Between Hank Williams pain songs, Newberry's train songs
and blue eyes cryin' in the rain out in Luckenbach Texas
ain't nobody feelin' no pain
Let's go to Luckenbach Texas with Waylon and Willie and the boys
This successful life we're livin' got us fueding
like the Hatfield and McCoys
Between Hank Williams pain songs, Newberry's train songs
and blue eyes cryin' in the rain out in Luckenbach Texas
ain't nobody feelin' no pain
While the music is playin' the hat does dance, as soon as it's over it stops. ::) ::) ::)
"That's amazing!" :o
No, that's a phony-graph, don't cha know? Brazos just shakes his head. " Howdy Slim, it's been a while since I laid eyes on ya. You been hatchin' anymore kids lately? What is it 16 or 17 little rug rats?"
He gives Ol' Slim and good slap on the back, and says to Delmonico, " Boy fer us slow movin' fellows you all sure do move fast! How's about ya fix me some grub like Slim, fellow gets a might hungry tryin' to keep up with you. Maybe I could get some of the there Pixey Dust from that purtty lady so's I can get right along?" ( You know, the one with the non-leather hat).
"You got any Tex Ritter or Franky Lane type songs, Delmonico?" Brazos sits down at the table, pulls his fork out of a front pocket (he knows enough not to put a fork in his back pocket!). I be ready when you are Del!" (That is, if a couple o' days go by and you all are pages ahead, yuk yuk)
Brazos
We'll have sumthin' better tommorow night, I just made fried rice today, so leftovers is refried fried rice. ;D Fergot, the Overnite Pony Express guy brought me a bunch a new wax cylinders today. ;D
We'll see what we gots. ;D
Delmonico goes in his office and comes out with a new cylinder. ;DRollin', rollin', rollin'.
Rollin', rollin', rollin'.
Rollin', rollin', rollin'.
Rollin', rollin', rollin'.
Rawhide!
Hah! Hah!
Keep rollin', rollin', rollin',
Though the streams are swollen,
Keep them dogies rollin', rawhide.
Through rain and wind and weather,
Hell bent for leather,
Wishin' my gal was by my side.
All the things I'm missin',
Good vittles, love, and kissin',
Are waiting at the end of my ride.
Move 'em out, head 'em up,
Head 'em up, move 'em on.
Move 'em out, head 'em up:
Rawhide.
Cut 'em out, ride 'em in,
Ride 'em in, cut 'em out,
Cut 'em out, ride 'em in:
Rawhide!
Hah! Hah!
Movin', movin', movin',
Though they're disapprovin',
Keep them dogies movin', rawhide.
Don't try to understand 'em,
Just rope an' throw an' brand 'em.
Soon we'll be living high and wide.
My heart's calculatin',
My true love will be waitin':
Waitin' at the end of my ride.
Move 'em out, head 'em up,
Head 'em up, move 'em on.
Move 'em out, head 'em up:
Rawhide.
Cut 'em out, ride 'em in,
Ride 'em in, cut 'em out,
Cut 'em out, ride 'em in:
Rawhide!
(Rollin', rollin', rollin'.)
(Rollin', rollin', rollin'.)
Hah!
(Rollin', rollin', rollin'.)
Hah!
(Rollin', rollin', rollin'.)
Rawhide.
Hah!
Rawhide!
::) ::) ::) ::)
With the song ended, Delmonico has another cylinder in hand. ;D "Yer in luck I got another one came today you'll like." ;D ;D
Come listen you fellers so young and fine
Oh seek not your fortune in the dark dreary mine
It will form as a habit and seep in your soul
Till the stream of your blood is as black as the coal.
Refrain
It's dark as a dungeon and damp as the dew
Where danger is double and pleasures are few
Where the rain never falls and the sun never shines
It's dark as a dungeon way down in the mines.
It's many a man I've known in my day
Who lived just to labor his young life away
Like a fiend with his dope and a drunkard his wine
A man will have lust for the lure of the mine.
Refrain
The midnight, the morning, or the middle of the day
It's the same to the miner who labors away
Where the demons of the death often come by surprise
One fall of the slate and you're buried alive.
Refrain
I hope when I'm gone and the ages shall roll
My body will blacken and turn into coal
Then I'll look from the door of my heavenly home
And pity the miner a-diggin' my bones.
Refrain
Yer all right, pard ya know good music. ;D "I'll even say, Bless yer little pea pickin' heart." ;D ;D ;D
Standing there with wax in her ears, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother's eyes narrow and her wand gives a small twitch. Something inside the phonograph gives a loud:
"SPROING!!!!"
And the contraption stops working.
:'( "Now Del, that was right nice of ya!" Brazos wipes a tear from the corner of his eye, "Could almost hear ol' Frankie crackin out that tune. That lady sure has it in fer your phony-graff don't she?" Brazos digs into the bowl and takes a big helpin' of rice. "Don't know if that was Tex, or that new kid, Tennesse Ernie? But I liked it pretty darn much!"
Brazos notices a little dabble of black wax on his shoulder and brushes it off. "You gots a Wax roof or somtin? There's little puddles of wax all over the place." He then proceeded to fork a little glob out of his bowl of rice. "Darn stuff is all over everything!"
Brazos 8)
Delmonico comes back from his office having replaced the spring that went sproing. ;D "Yea she gets testy around good music. ;D But you know how wimmin are, fact is I found a song 'bout how they can drive ya ta ruin."
"I'll get in in afore the curfew, ya play music after curfew she goes ballistic."
Cigarettes and Whusky and Wild, Wild Women
They'll drive you crazy; They'll drive you insane
Cigarettes and Whusky and Wild, Wild Women
They'll drive you crazy; They'll drive you insane.
Once I was happy and had a good wife ...
I had enough money to last me for life
I met with a gal and we went on a spree ...
She started me smokin' and drinkin' whuskey.
CHORUS
Now I am feeble and broken with age
The lines on my face make a well-written page
I'm leavin this message; how sad but how true
On women and whuskey and what they can do.
CHORUS
Write on the cross at the head of my grave
For women and whuskey here lies a poor slave
Take warning dear stranger, take warning dear friend
Then write in big letters these words at the end.
CHORUS
Quote from: Brazos Bucky Smith on September 07, 2005, 06:37:44 PM
No, that's a phony-graph, don't cha know? Brazos just shakes his head. " Howdy Slim, it's been a while since I laid eyes on ya. You been hatchin' anymore kids lately? What is it 16 or 17 little rug rats?"
"Good seein' ya again, Brazos. I'z only gots a baker's dozen. Some 'round here like ta 'zagerate a mite." ::)
During the night, every one of the wax cylinders is changed. Although the label may state a particular song and lyric, when the cylinder is played the sound that comes from the phonograph is the 4th movement of Ludwig van Beethoven's 9th symphony. And so it is with every cylinder that is brought to the Ranch with No Name. And just as the Frumpy Fairy Godmother has no leather hat, the 4th movement has no lyrics.
<Author's note: Movement is another word for Poop. ;D ;D The FFg turned all the nice music into poop. :P :P :P :P :P.>
Since the phony-graf won't play nuthin' no more but poopy music, Delmonico makes another order with his computor and has it shipped Over Nite Pony Express.
A few minutes later he get a CO-Mail (coal oil) that says it is too big to ship by pony so it'll have to come by 2 day oxen freight. ;D
Trinity rides in from a trip to town. He dismounts his horse and from his two rifle scabbards he pulls three 20 pound sledge hammers and one 12 pounder (for the FFG ...to protect the image of her femininity).
He bursts into the kitchen door and announces his arrival: "Ahm back, an ifn any of that mewsik is garna be played after curfew... Trinity Time, I done brought a fix." ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ::) 8) ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Brazo and Slim have been eatin' all the refried Fried Rice, and Brasos interjects ( like that big work interjects!) Hey Del, you got somethin' to drink? This here rice is real good, but nedds somethin' to wash it down."
"cough, cough, dag nabit! There is another piece of that black stuff! Almost went and swallowed it!" Brasos notices Trinity's hammers. " Don't get carried away with swinging them things in here, that purty lady will sprinkle some of her dust on 'um and make 'um come alive!"
"Del, after that drink, I think I'll amble out to the porch and take a snoze!
Humming to herself "Da da da da da da da da da da da daaa de da..." The Frumpy Fairy Godmother is out on the porch of the bohunk house, hanging up three new hammocks. Daisy and Claire, who both look more than a little fat, trail at her heels, wagging their tails.
Quote from: AnnieLee on September 09, 2005, 04:57:46 AMDaisy and Claire, who both look more than a little fat, trail at her heels, wagging their tails.
Arthur's note: Are we going to have puppies? ;D
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on September 09, 2005, 05:26:04 AM
Quote from: AnnieLee on September 09, 2005, 04:57:46 AMDaisy and Claire, who both look more than a little fat, trail at her heels, wagging their tails.
Arthur's note: Are we going to have puppies? ;D
(( :-X :D ))
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on September 09, 2005, 06:22:09 AM
Quote from: AnnieLee on September 09, 2005, 06:05:50 AM
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on September 09, 2005, 05:26:04 AM
Quote from: AnnieLee on September 09, 2005, 04:57:46 AMDaisy and Claire, who both look more than a little fat, trail at her heels, wagging their tails.
Arthur's note: Are we going to have puppies? ;D
(( :-X :D ))
'That a yes? ;D
((Time will tell. Bwaa haa haa. :D))
As the Frumpy Fairy Godmother finishes up, Frankenbird joins the dogs. The animals exchange affectionate sniffs then head up to Trinity's bed. The Frumpy Fairy Godmother smiles and goes inside to start breakfast.
Quote from: AnnieLee on September 09, 2005, 06:41:35 AM((Time will tell. Bwaa haa haa. :D))
<Arthur's note: Now you sound like Evil Princess Irmoplotz instead of a FFG. :o ::) ;D >
<Arthur's note too: That's scawy. >
<Authors note: The We referance makes me wonder if there is more about Scattered Thumbs than "we" know ;D ::) ::) ;)>
Brazo's don't drink Trinity's corn liker, it has lead in it, I would not drink the "Lemon Soda after the rice. :o ??? :P Stoney Pete ain't cleaned out his coffee pot ever. My pot is empty, so maybe you'd be best with water. ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on September 09, 2005, 08:46:07 AM
<Authors note: The We referance makes me wonder if there is more about Scattered Thumbs than "we" know ;D ::) ::) ;)>
The "we" refers to "us"(you're included ;D) in the "Ranch With no Name on the Dismal". Don't get any ideias. ;D
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on September 09, 2005, 08:08:05 AM
Quote from: AnnieLee on September 09, 2005, 06:41:35 AM((Time will tell. Bwaa haa haa. :D))
<Arthur's note: Now you sound like Evil Princess Irmoplotz instead of a FFG. :o ::) ;D >
<Arthur's note too: That's scawy. >
<Arthur's note: I was trying to find a pic of Evil Princess Irmoplotz, but to no avail. :(>
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on September 09, 2005, 09:53:54 AM
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on September 09, 2005, 08:08:05 AM
Quote from: AnnieLee on September 09, 2005, 06:41:35 AM((Time will tell. Bwaa haa haa. :D))
<Arthur's note: Now you sound like Evil Princess Irmoplotz instead of a FFG. :o ::) ;D >
<Arthur's note too: That's scawy. >
<Arthur's note: I was trying to find a pic of Evil Princess Irmoplotz, but to no avail. :(>
((It's scary that Scattered Thumbs watches Dave the Barbarian. All I've been able to find out about the Princess is her voice is done by Melissa Rivers, Joan Rivers' daughter... which is also scary ))
Quote from: AnnieLee on September 09, 2005, 10:54:15 AM
((It's scary that Scattered Thumbs watches Dave the Barbarian. All I've been able to find out about the Princess is her voice is done by Melissa Rivers, Joan Rivers' daughter... which is also scary ))
<Arthur's note: Yep that's me. I'm a scary dude. ;D>
(http://imagecache2.allposters.com/IMAGES/MMPH/247061.jpg)
<Arthur's note: Here are the "sweeties". ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)>
Delmonico turns green, covers his mouth and runs out behind the barn. ;D
:D
:D :D :D :D :D :D
Brazos slaps his knee and chuckles, "ya know when the bury ol' Joan they won't have to formaldehyde her, there is so much plastic in her, she'll last a thousand years just the way she is!"
Water? Water? Nothin' but water? Well, (no pun intended), I guess I will if I hafta. That water and rice won't swell me up like a balloon, now will it? Brazos graps a pitcher and heads for the porch.
Quote from: Delmonico on September 09, 2005, 12:37:46 PM
Delmonico turns green, covers his mouth and runs out behind the barn. ;D
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Brazos Bucky Smith on September 09, 2005, 01:28:02 PMWater? Water? Nothin' but water? Well, (no pun intended), I guess I will if I hafta. That water and rice won't swell me up like a balloon, now will it? Brazos graps a pitcher and heads for the porch.
"Ya never can tell." :o
"Well, y'all it's time fer me to saddle-up and head northeast. See y'all on Monday." Slim takes his saddlebags and "Mighty Ten" to the barn to saddle his steed. He saddles his horse and rides NE.
Before he goes, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother leaps off the porch, gathers up her skirts and runs, catching up and jumping up to kiss him on the cheek.
"Watch out for the black helicopters and give my best to the family!"
On the horizon, FFG notices a creaking noise coming their way. It looks like that fellow they met some time ago with that cannon thing-a-ma-jig that was lookin' fer UFO's. After a goodly amount of time passes, the creaking wagon get to their location. Ornery beats the dust off his hat, looks around a bit, and says, "Yall ain't seen no black helicopters, have ya?" as he glances at the stubby little mortar being towed behind.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother drops the knitting into her lap and looks at the man, wide-eyed.
"No, I haven't," she whispers, "have you?"
Suddenly in the middle of the night, Delmonico remembers Stoney Pete was gonna sleep for a long time out in his hammock. ;D Delmonico 'memebers he said sumthin' about him, but could not 'member what. ::)
Anyway delmonico thinks that someone who is gonna sleep that long needs some mark on him. ::) Delmonico grabs a bottle of blue paint and a small brush and sneaks outside and paints Stoney Pete's nose blue. Not for any real reason, just because. ::) As he heads back in he notices the strange fella with the yaller shirt also sleepin' on the porch. ;D
Poor Delmonico, being wicked has its price. When he wakes up in the morning....
Ornery notices Brazos still in slumber the next morning and hasn't seen that lady that seemed to "glide" rather than walk. He figured it was time for reveille. Ornery heads for May Belle while conjuring up the appropriate powder charge for such an occasion. A few minutes go by and while admiring his purty blue mustache, Delmonico hears Ornery holler,"FIRE IN THE HOLE!!" The blast raised the dust, that was certain. ;D
Not caring about his blue mooostash, Delmonico climbs Hornets Nest hill and looks off toward Dunning, yes it comin, a large wagor being draw by a large amount of oxen. ??? ;D
:o :o :o Brazos is all arms and legs going 3 feet in the air. The chair hits the wall of the porch as Brazos makes a one point landing on the porch! " Owwwwwww, my achin' posterior (remember this is a "G" rated site). what in the tarnation was that? Are we under attack or is the world ending?"
Brazos looks off the porch to see a big blue cloud in the form of a donut rising rapidly into the still blue sky, "I'd swear that was a mortar round been fired close by, who could be firing one of those so early in the morning?"
"Wonder if Trinity got any squeezen's left if that jug o' his? I sure could use a pick me up and some medicinal pain reliever feer my rump!" ;)
Delmonico saddles up his mule and rides out to meet the ox train. ;D
The wagon being pulled by 36 yoke of oxen comes into the ranch pullin' a huge wagon. ::) On the wagon is a disasembled steam traction engine with 10 foot drive wheels. ;D
Trinity rides in from his "secret" stills carrying four more jugs. Seeing Brazos trying milk an empty, Trinity gets down and hands the first jug to him. Then he looks over at Del and falls down laughing. When he finishes laughing, he says: "That is the funniest thang Ah done ever seen!"
Changing the subject: "Did ever-body sleep wail, lahk Ah did?"
"Yeah, I think the FFg has sumthin' to do with it. ::)
"But look at my new toy, It'll take all day tamorrow ta unload it and put it together." ;D
Three days north of the Ranch with No Name, litl' rooster prepares his first herd of cows to head in the waiting cattle cars in Dunning... The weather has been good and the cattle are grass fat. The strange music has finally stopped in my head and have slept good the past couple nites, cept' the loud explosion this morning which caused me to bump my head again. Sure could use a cooked meal about now, but the wagon won't meet up with us for a couple days yet. Seen a large wagon pulled by a large hitch of Oxen yesterday with sme contraption on it headed towards the ranch....Sure wonder what Delmonico is up too.
When the blast goes off, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother nearly cracks her head open on the tank of the Wedgwood toilet. She utters a very unladylike word, reorganizes herself and goes downstairs.
She pauses in the doorway to the house, staring slackjawed at the oxen then the disassembled engine.
"What in the blue blazes is that, and why are there so many oxen in the yard and who is going to feed and water them?"
"Why Thank you kindly Trinity, I am drier than both the Mojave and Sahara Deserts put together!" With that Brazos resets the chair on the porch, sets down, puts his feet up on the railing, and prepares to watch the show. Watching Delmonico put that contraption together is going to be a hoot!
He takes a small swig of the jug to aquint his mouth with the taste of Trinity's squeezin's. Tips his hat down over his eyes to shield his eyes from the sun, and prepares for some serious watchin'. He chuckle's to himself, "I wonder if the FFG is going to mess with Delmonico's working to put together that contrption of his?"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother casts a sidelong look to Brazos.
"I heard that." She pauses a moment, contemplating the wheels of the engine. "And I suppose my actions depend on what Delmonico is planning to do with the thing."
"Yeah, Del. What in tarnation is ya gonna do that contraption!??"
"The teamsters will water them and graze them all night. They'll help me put together my Steam Traction Engine in the mornin' before they leave. Why if this was good farm land round here we could pull a 12 bottom plow and use it to thresh the wheat, shell the corn and pull out stumps with it." ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
"But when the stuff gets here fer the Ride-Inn and Sarsparilla stand, I'll have the meanest machine in the valley." ;D ;D ;D
"Corn?"
???12Bottoms ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother scowls a bit.
"But this isn't good farm land and we don't have any trees so there're no stumps. What are you going to do with it, Delmonico? And it'd better not spoil my view and make a lot of noise."
"That's prolly why he wants it! He'll run it at all times of the night like he did that derned musical con-traption of his! When all's said an' done, we'll be so sleepy, but not too sleepy to notice that all beee-auty of this land is done been took away! :( That Del shore is a grumpy one!"
By gettin' up at dawn and using the oxen and a large A-Frame, the machine is put together. ::) The oxen are hitched together and head back to Dunning. ;D
Delmonico fills it up with water and fires it up with coal from the old dugout/coalbin. (He makes a mental note to be a little more badder, so Santa brings him more coal at Christmas.)
What they have not noticed is he bought not a plow or disc for this giant machine, but a large roller to pull and smoothen out the road leading to "Ranch with no Name Ride-In and Sarsparilla Stand" ;D
As he's workin' to improve the road, he decides on a name for his machine, he'll call it Mannheim. ;D
<<Ahem... Mannheim... cute! Who's gonna drive it, Chip Davis?>>>
Brazos watches all the goin's on with interest. he's been sippin' on the jug and does not want to move to far.
"Delmonico is that machine of yourn going to play Christmas music too? Why if you going to put in a soda stand ya might as well add on ta the house and put in a bunch of rooms fer the people come to the stand. Ya could call it "Delmonico's Imperial Hotel"!
With that much thought, Brazos takes another sip o' the jug and falls off to sleep. This watchin Delmoico work as made him a bit tired.
<Author'snote, I fixed it, was to lazy to go upstairs and dig out a CD. ;D We'll get CW McCall to drive it, he used to work fer Chip back in the 1970's, haulin' bread I think. ;D ;D ;D>
Delmonico has an Idea and decides to order a plow fer the front in case of a blizzard. ::)
(Mannheim Steam Plow?)
After several sips of recipe, Trinity gets a strange idea and like a man possessed takes a piece of paper and begins to write:
One, two, three o'clock, four o'clock, rock,
Five, six, seven o'clock, eight o'clock, rock,
Nine, ten, eleven o'clock, twelve o'clock, rock,
We're gonna rock around the clock tonight.
Put your glad rags on and join me, hon,
We'll have some fun when the clock strikes one,
We're gonna rock around the clock tonight,
We're gonna rock, rock, rock, 'til broad daylight.
We're gonna rock, gonna rock, around the clock tonight.
When the clock strikes two, three and four,
If the band slows down we'll yell for more,
We're gonna rock around the clock tonight,
We're gonna rock, rock, rock, 'til broad daylight.
We're gonna rock, gonna rock, around the clock tonight.
When the chimes ring five, six and seven,
We'll be right in seventh heaven.
We're gonna rock around the clock tonight,
We're gonna rock, rock, rock, 'til broad daylight.
We're gonna rock, gonna rock, around the clock tonight.
When it's eight, nine, ten, eleven too,
I'll be goin' strong and so will you.
We're gonna rock around the clock tonight,
We're gonna rock, rock, rock, 'til broad daylight.
We're gonna rock, gonna rock, around the clock tonight.
When the clock strikes twelve, we'll cool off then,
Start a rockin' round the clock again.
We're gonna rock around the clock tonight,
We're gonna rock, rock, rock, 'til broad daylight.
We're gonna rock, gonna rock, around the clock tonight.
Excited, Trinity exclaims: "Say Del if'n we kin git a jug band together and make some music to go with these words, *hic* ...to go with these words, we kin sang at yer Sarsparilly Stand! *hic*"
Quote from: Brazos Bucky Smith on September 11, 2005, 11:24:20 AM
Brazos watches all the goin's on with interest. he's been sippin' on the jug and does not want to move to far.
"Delmonico is that machine of yourn going to play Christmas music too? Why if you going to put in a soda stand ya might as well add on ta the house and put in a bunch of rooms fer the people come to the stand. Ya could call it "Delmonico's Imperial Hotel"!
With that much thought, Brazos takes another sip o' the jug and falls off to sleep. This watchin Delmoico work as made him a bit tired.
<<Forty: is this feller related to us??>> ;D ;D
"Well there sure are enough jug and jugheads to make a jug/jug head band." ;D ;D
Delmonico thows two more shovels of coal into the firebox and heads down the road with his 10 ton roller. ;D
"You do that, Trinity, and you might find your recipe spiked with alum."
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother doesn't look happy. Nope, not happy at all.
:'( :-[ Dejected and hurt that the FFG would speak to him with such a tone all he can do is mutter: "But why?"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother watches the engine roll down the road.
"Trinity, I don't think you understand. Delmonico wants to turn your home into a business. That means he's going to make you work. There won't be any more afternoons or evenings spent in the hammock. We'll be overrun with strangers and their dirty, misbehaving children, and they will expect us to wait on them."
:o :o :o
Hearing the words "work" and "Children" and understanding that the FFG did not mean the the children would be doing the work, Trinity gets up and weaves his way into his room soon to return with a crate of dynamite. "I've got an idear..."
Delmonico comes back and parks his Traction Engine, he goes in the house and mixes eggs, flour, lard and water and kneads it into a stiff dough. He flours it, and lays it out on a floured board, the ten ton roller is backed over it and Delmonico cuts the flattened dough into noodles. He banks the fire in Mannheim and hollors, "Beef and noodles fer supper tonight." ;D ;D ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother watches the creation of the noodles. She opens her mouth to speak, but the voice that comes out isn't hers. It is an unfamiliar(to some), low-octave woman's voice: "I'd rather eat Ramen."
Delmonico, here's an ideal if you wait to long 30 years or so they will be all over the country
Delmonico is in the kitchen rumagin' around fer canned peaches, mutterin' sumthin' about pie crust.
Quote from: Delmonico on September 11, 2005, 03:44:09 PM
Delmonico comes back and parks his Traction Engine, he goes in the house and mixes eggs, flour, lard and water and kneads it into a stiff dough. He flours it, and lays it out on a floured board, the ten ton roller is backed over it and Delmonico cuts the flattened dough into noodles. He banks the fire in Mannheim and hollors, "Beef and noodles fer supper tonight." ;D ;D ;D
Seeing that no one is interested in the Hamburger Helper, Trinity takes the entire pan to his place at the table and commences to eat it all. He likes Hamburger Helper ... or Beef and noodles as some call it. It's best with fresh beef. ;D ;)
After the dishes are washed, Delmonico builds the fire back up in Mannheim and gets up a good head of steam, he then drives it and his ten ton roller out and parks it behind the barn. He then banks the fire carefully so it won't die out and have to be lit again in the morning. ;)
On the way back to the house he sees one of Trinity's jugs sittin' in the yard. As he picks it up he sees a strange site, it looks like Trinity, but it's 6 feet wide and 30 feet long and 1/8 inch thick. :o :o ::) Realizing that Trinity has passed out in the yard and has been run over by Mannheim and his roller, Delmonico knows he has to act fast.
He pours some of the corn likker in Trinity's mouth, suddenly Trinity comes back to his normal shape and conforms Delmonico has guessed all along, Trinity is a Toon. ;D ;D ;D
Brazos who'd been out in the barn tending to his horse's feeding and brush down, strolled up behind Del just as he was standing up from pouring a jug into something on the ground. just at that moment there is a loud SPOING! and up pops Trinity!
"Jumping frogs in a frying pan! What in the hell is going on? Took ten years of growth off of me!" Brazos screamed! And it takes a might of doin' to make ol' Brazos scream.
"Del, how did you make him do that?" intoned Brazos when he got his wits about him. That is some trick my friend!"
At the scream, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother dashes outside, leaving glttering sawdust in her wake. She arrives on the porch to see Delmonico, Trinity, and Brazos standing there. All appears normal.
"What's wrong? What happened?"
No big problem, Trinity fell asleep in the yard and I rollered him. A little corn liker and he's back to "Normal" Brazo's is just a bit edgy cause he fergot what "normal" is around here. ;D ;D
Delmonico rakes the fire, adds some coal, gets up a good head of steam and blows the whistle on Mannheim. ;D He opens the throttle valve and is heard singin,
Rollin, Rollin, Rollin,
Keep my engine rolling
Even if Trinity is flattened
Mannnnheim.
::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)
<Author's note: It might be good that Delmonico don't drink none of the recipe.>
Brazos Smiles at Del's sense of humor, and turns to Trinity. "Trinity ol' horse, you looked like one of them there spuges they send in the mail. All flat and paper thin, then ya add liquid and it puffs up into normal shape, you sure did give me a start!?"
"Wonder if Slim is going ot make an appearance, hope he watches out for Del and his contraption! he could have a very pressing problem like you did. You walking kinda funny there Trinity!" :o
Out rollin, the road, Delmonico has an idea, lucly he has brought his carrier pigeon lap top with him. ;D ;D He is gonna pull to the side of the rode when he 'members he's got the biggest and baddest machine in the valley, so he stops in the middle of the road. ;D ;D He types an address and the pigeon flies off, dern, he should have went home and used the 4 barb wire broadband, this lap top takes so much time to down load. ;D ;D ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother spies what appears to be a dove flying by.
"DINNER!!" She exclaims, and out comes the shotgun.
**BLAM** and the poor carrier pigeon flops to the ground.
((This is called payback for Del's killing the carrier pigeon with the Frumpy Fairy Godmother's order for the greenhouse. You thought I forgot about that, eh? HA! :P ))
Delmonico sits in the middle of the road waitin' for his carrier pigion to bring his down load cookie. ::) His time is not wasted though, he is using the heat that Mannheim produces to cook some dinner. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Slim approaches the ranch and sees a BIG iron horse apuffin' and aweezin'. To has surprise, Del is sittin' in it. "Del, what is this contraption?"
"It's a steam powered traction engine, it's the latest thing in machinery, ya can do most anything that draft horses can do with it. I gots this roller with it and can smoothen out the road." ;D "I named it Mannheim the Steam Traction Engine and this is it's roller." ;D
Delmonico then pulls on the whistle and plays "We Three Kings." ;D
Slim's horse commences to pitching 'cuz of the awful noise coming from the iron horse. Slim holds on fer a couple bucks, but is thrown into a mud puddle. :o :o :o :o
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother rushes out to rescue Slim, carrying an armload of towels.
"That derned Delmonico, isn't Newbrassky flat enough without that thing?"
<Authors note: The Sandhills ain'ft flat and the roads need constant work or they either rut up or blow away. ;D>
Delmonico looks down and says, "I have log chains, I could a hooked up to Slim and drug him out." ;D
Delmonico, finished with his dinner, tosses a couple of shovels a coal in the firebox and heads down the road. Just before he blows the whistle (It Came upon a Midnight Clear ::)) he is heard to say in a Spanish accent, "Let's tie him to the back of the traction engine and draaaaag him."
As he goes off rollerin' Delmonico grabs a bit of lard out of the chuck box and using it and a comb, slicks his hair back into a Duck Tail. ::) He thinks a nice black leather coat with a symbol on the back would be awsome. Perhaps others in the area would get traction engines and the could form a club, cruise the roads and see which one would go the fastest. ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: AnnieLee on September 12, 2005, 02:44:31 PM
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother rushes out to rescue Slim, carrying an armload of towels.
"That derned Delmonico, isn't Newbrassky flat enough without that thing?"
"Thank ya, ma'am." Slim takes a towel and wipes the mud from his face. "I better go track down ma horse. He's probably in the next county by now." Slim follows the hoof prints.
<Arthur's note: Since there ain't many trees here. Whatcha need a "log" chain fer?> ;D
<Aurturo's Note: "To tie you to the back of the traction engine and drag you." or "I can have you attach it to the back end of the Sherrif's horse and you can hollor sumthing out at him when we drive by." ;D ;D>
As Delmonico drives down the road, rollerin' as he goes, he's thinkin' about lowerin' the top on Mannheim and maybe custom paint. ::) ::) ::) ::)
As Delmonico is rollerin' along he sees sumthin' in the rode, but to late to stop. After he has passed over it he stops and goes back for a look see. It is Slim's saddle bags with this weeks cheese. :'( :P
Delmonico looks in the flattened bags atthe now soft and squeesy cheese, he runs back to the chuck box anfd grabs and empty jar and lid and puts the cheese in it as Slim walks up lookin' for his horse. ::) "Gee Whiz' says Slim when he sees the cheese.
But with Mannheim running, Delmonico hears wrong and labels the jar "Cheese-Whiz." ;D :D ::) ::) ;)
author's note....I am sure glad I got a warning ;D ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on September 12, 2005, 10:52:47 AM
<Author's note: It might be good that Delmonico don't drink none of the recipe.>
Nope...
He shore don't! ;D ;D ;D ;) ;D
Quote from: Brazos Bucky Smith on September 12, 2005, 11:36:56 AM
Brazos Smiles at Del's sense of humor, and turns to Trinity. "Trinity ol' horse, you looked like one of them there spuges they send in the mail. All flat and paper thin, then ya add liquid and it puffs up into normal shape, you sure did give me a start!?"
"Wonder if Slim is going ot make an appearance, hope he watches out for Del and his contraption! he could have a very pressing problem like you did. You walking kinda funny there Trinity!" :o
"Well, what 'speck from a person that's done been rolled flat?"
Trinity goes behind a nearby tree to relieve himself but sreams! Suddenly several streams of... ... water can be seen coming from both sides of the tree, high and low.
After a moment, Trinity runs out and grabs the jug and starts chugging. "Ain' quite done de-flattenin'!!"
At the scream, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother starts to run to Trinity. Then she sees the two different streams, stops in her tracks, and heads back to the house.
"I don't want to know."
Delmonico lights the coal oil head lanterns on Mannheim and heads back to the ranch. As he heads back he decides to chop the roof on Mannheim 6 inches and to leave it black with the red wheels. ;D
He thinks about paintin' flames on it, but decides it don't need painted flames, instead he adds two buckets of sawdust to the firebox and opens the throttle, flames shoot out the stack about 12 feet. ;D
<Authors note: sawdust in the firebox and an open throttle on a steam engine is awsome. :o ;D :D :D :D :D>
Delmonico parks Mannheim, blows out the lanterns and banks the fire. He comes in the house with his jar. He gets down some bread and spreads in on. ;D ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother peeks into the kitchen where she sees Delmonico spreading what appears to be cheese poop on a slice of bread. She backs away, quickly.
"He's getting stranger by the moment. I wonder if that engine has lead solder joints?"
It's not like he woke up from sleep, but he came too. His joints were stiff as he got off the hammock. He don't remember moving to the hammock, he thought he wuz in his chair. ??? His nose hurt so he rubbed it. Flecks of blue paint were now in his hand. ???
He gets up slowling and notices a machine belching steam. "I don't want to know.", he says aloud. His throat hurt. He grabs a jug from the porch and swallows. As the squeezin's surge trough him :o he's now awake.
Shuffling to the kitchen he notices Del with some soft cheese. He's glad to see his coffee pot is just how he left it, so he brews a fresh pot. Grabbing some bread he spreads some cheese and eats.
"Gee whiz that's real good.", said Stoney.
Holding the jar with the lable facing Stoney, Del says, " Nope Cheese Whiz." ;D ;D ;D
Slim finally rides into the barn, unsaddles his horse, and carries his flattened saddlebags into the house. He goes to his room for clean clothes and goes into the bathroom for a bath.
Delmonico comes to the kitchen and announces he has an idea that came to him in the night. He has a burlap bag of peanuts which he starts to shell. ;D He gets a large amount and then starts beatin' them in a large mortar and pestle till they are also soft and gooey. ::)
He then takes this gooey stuff and spreads it on some bread, he decides after the first bite it is very good and announces, "I have invented "Goober Butter." ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
He then spreads more on slices of bread, and packs them in a bag, grabbing a couple bottles of sarsparilla he heads to Manheim and puts this in his grub box. He adds water and as he's stokin' up the fire, he thinks he needs a fireman to do this in the morning for him, like a RR engineer. ;D ;D
With a full head of steam in the boiler he heads off to roll some more and plays "God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman" as he heads down the road. ;D ;D ;D
As Slim is soaking the the tub, he hears the tune from the iron horse and is glad he's not on his horse. ::) ::) ::) ::)
Brasos walks into the kitchen, he sees the jar with the cheese stuff in it and says " Boy that Delmonico sure is a Krafty fellow!" He shakes his head and mutters "But I sure wisht I knew who that Arthur Note fella is they keep talkin' about? He sure says a lot, but nobody ever sees him!" ???
Brazos gets out some bread out and spreads the cheese stuff on it, "Sure wisht Del would run over some peanuts and make some peanut butter, I sure like PB and cheese sandwiches. With all that Christmas music I keep hearing, it's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas!" Looks up at the ceiling ans wonders "who is that singing in the bath upstairs, can't carry a tune in a bucket!"
"T'ain't me. I have hard 'nuff time walkin' with a bucket of milk." ;D ;D ;D Slim decides he's soaked long enough. He gets dressed and goes out to gather eggs and milch the cow.
<Arthur's' note: Arthur was some king in Britain. ;)>
Munchin' on a goober butter samwhich, Delmonico sees sumthin' in the road and stops, looks, gets an idea and picks it up and puts it in the cab. ???
As he's rollerin' along he decides the goober butter is a good idea and thinks it would sell. ;D He thinks of a motto for it, "Chosy Cosies chose Delmonicos." ::) ::) ::)
Slim puts the milch and eggs into the icebox. He pours himself a cup of coffee and looks at the tan stuff in the jar. He sniffs it, decides it ain't dawg doo, spoons some out, and licks it. It ain't bad. He finds the biggest spoon in the kitchen and fills the spoons with the stuff. He takes his coffee and the spoon to the porch to watch Del drive the iron horse to and fro. ;D ;D
Delmonico heads n to the ranch with an idea, when the world discovers this stuff, everyone will want it, goober butter samwhices, plain, with dill picles, bannanas, cheese bacon, jelly, honey and who know what else. ;D ;D One could make cookies with it, candy, frosting for cakes. ;D
He'll get a stamp mill, set it up in Dunning, ship in peanuts by rail, this will make more money than the Ride-In. ;D ;D The FFg can order a new dress. ;D
As he roller's in and banks the fire, he sees Slim on the porch, Slim says, 'mmmfffph" cause his mouth if full of goober butter. ;D
Duke is inthe yard and Delmonico gets the object from the road and tosses it. It sails over and Duke jumps and catches it. ::) Slim says "mmmmfffph."
It's a raccoon that got flattened by my roller and dried out in the sun. You know "Flattened Raccoon In Sun Becomes Exciting Entertainment, F.R.I.S.B.E.E. for short. ::) ::)
<Authors note: I'll warn litl roooster again. ;D>
< Author's note: No sense in my posting, Del's on a roll. Pun intended. >
<Author's Note: Help me out, I don't want to have to flatten Trinity again. ;D Wait, what about Slim"
Hey slim would you lay down out here in the door yard and close yer eye's, I have a big surprise fer you.> :o :o :o ::) ::) :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P
Delmonico builds up the fire, gets up a good head of steam and goes off lookin' for other adventures with his faithful stead, Mannhiem. ;) <Deck the halls with boughs of Holly.> :o
author's note>>>>>I cna't stop laughing F.R.I.S.B.I.E.E. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D>>>going to the kitchen now to make a goober butter and Gee Whiz sandwich
<Authors note, I had that fer lunch, on sourdough whole wheat.> ;D ;D ;D ;D ::) ::)
It's morning and Stoney can't figure our why he's got Christmas carols running through his brain. ???
"I hate Christmas carols." >:( he mutters while brewing some coffee. "I could put up with Del's phoneygraph, even after hours, but if I hear Christmas carols I'll start blasting with my shotgun till they stop."
Stoney goes out to the pen to slop the hogs and notices a flat dried raccoon in the yard. ??? Must be that new contraption that Del's been ridding. On his way back to the house he stops in the barn to get his '78 street howizer, loads two 12 ga. shells and puts more in his vest pockets. "I won't be hearing no Christmas carols."
Coffee was ready when he got back, he pours hisself a cup and goes back to the porch to sit with his SxS acrossed his knees. "Gonna kill me anything that even resembles Christmas music." Stoney rock back and forth with a maniacal look on his face.
(arthurs note: I worked retail for one year. (K-MART) I worked in the Home Improvement section. That meant Christmas trees and lights and little electric Christmas gadgits that played Christmas carols were in my area before Sept was over. They were in my area till the day after Halloween when they were moved up front. But then the day after Thanksgiving they start playing carols over the house speakers. They had canned music complete with their own comercials. The problem is the tape was only 45 min. long. I worked 8 hours. After Christmas till about Feb the clearance sales on the gagits came back to my area. Since that year I have hated Christmas carols and the comercialization of Christmas.)
Arthur's note (not the King in Britain but a SF writer ;D ) : DEL! Stop That Mannheim steamroller stuff. It's mid September for Pete's sake. ;D, and it's 95 F outside. 8)
Please. ::)
Slim goes to the kitchen fer coffee and goes to sit on the porch. "Morning, Stoney. Is Del still drivin' the iron horse to from fro?"
<Arthur's note: Slim ain't gonna lie down in the yard on purpose and git run over by Mannheim. >:()
Sadly Delmonico builds up a head of steam and heads out lookin' fer more raccoons with out music. :( :'( :'( :'( :'(
(Authors note: it's 63 here and not spossed to go over 75, at least for a while, but round here you never know. ;D >
<Stoney Note: Save yerself from the evil Christmas BS, buy a copy of Michel Martin Murphey's Cowboy Songs Two, A Cowboy Christmas. It will save you from Christmas Depression, it saved me.>
<Arthur's note: Ya got any 'possums or groundhawgs or such?>
<Authors Note: No ground hwgs an' few possums out here Slim, A ground hog would work cause it's a rodent or a prairie dawg, but it has to have an R in it to make a F.R.I.S.B.E.E. ::) Would you consider changin' yer name to Robert or Rick? ;D>
Delmonico heads in fer lucnh, havin' not packed the chuck box today, he is tired of chasin' raccons cause they are faster than Mannheim. ;D ;D ;D as he nears the ranch he sees a wagon comin' from the east, his newest order has arrived, wait till they see this, they'll love this on and they'll also decide they like Mannheim. ??? ??? ::) ::) ;D ;)
Delmonico pulls into the yard and banks the fire. ;)
Quote from: Delmonico on September 14, 2005, 01:02:30 PM
<Authors Note: No ground hwgs an' few possums out here Slim, A ground hog would work cause it's a rodent or a prairie dawg, but it has to have an R in it to make a F.R.I.S.B.E.E. ::) Would you consider changin' yer name to Robert or Rick? ;D>
<Arthur's note: NO! >:( >
Slim stands up and stretches. He goes to gather eggs and milch the cow. He makes sure he gives Mannheim a wide berth. He doesn't want to be a F.S.I.S.B.E.E.
<Arthur's note: How about Rockchucks or rats?>
Brazos rides in on his mouse colored horse. He's been to town to the drygoods store, while there he bought some of these squishy things, clerk at the store said ya squish them up and stuff them in your ear ya won't hear nothin'. Brazos also bought some little glass mirror things to hang from the brim of his hat so he could see Del comin' from all directions.
"Saw a lot of flat critters out there on the plain. Del been flattening up a storm! Where is ol' "two stream" Trinity a hidden out?" :'(
<Auther Note: Sorry no Rockchucks, might be a rat or two in the corn crib or Trinity's room. Both rodents though as well.>
Delmonico parks Mannheim and banks te fire, he looks at the wagon load of cast iron radiators and pipe. ::) ::) Slim are you a plumber? If'n ya pipe these together we can hook up Mannheim's boiler this winter and have Ray-dee-ent heat. ;D ;D ;D
"I've done my share of plumbin'. All depends on how much pressure Mannheim is gonna build up. We don't need a sprinkler system." :o :o :o ::) ::) ::)
"Well how much ya want, we can give ya 150 psi if ya want or ya can have less." ;D ;D
<Authors note, I'm workin' on an article fer The Historic Society on Steam Traction Engines and the affect on farmin'. I can see why Great-Great-Uncle Henry got blowed ta bits with his. :o :o>
"150 psi at what temp?" :o
325 or so degrees. Them things is Dangerous if'n yer not carefull. :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o ;)
Delmonico spreads out the fire, fills Mannheim up with water and starts shovelin' in the coal. "Slim I'm goin' out again to try to gather some F.R.I.S.B.E.E.'s, I got er all filled up and got the gauge right at the red mark, that ought to be fast enough." ;D
Delmonico heads off at a faster pace than ever before and he is singin' as he goes, singin" "The Wreck of Old 97." :o :o
He can still be heard as he goes over the hill.
He was going down the grade,
makin' 90 miles an hour,
when his whistle broke into a scream.
He was found in the wreck,
with his hand on the throttle,
Scalded to death by the Steam.
::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)
Suddenly Mannheim's whistle is heard at a steady blast, there is a boom, a puff of steam and one ten foot diameter red wheel rolls into the dooryard. :o It tips, almost falls over, teeters for an minute and then tips, makin' a noisse like a top for a few minutes and then there is silence. :o
"I might be able ta do that." ;D
<Arthur's note: Just found a boiler company in yer backyard. Newbrassssssssssky Boiler.>
Slim jumps on his horse and races in the direction of the BOOM.
Suddenly slim sees a speck in the sky fallin'. ::) As it gets closer he sees it's Delmonico, he hit's the ground right in front of Slim, makin' a large hole in the ground. :o
Delmonico crawls up out of the hole, his clothes it tatters and steam comin' out of his ears. ;D ;D ;D He looks at Slim and say's, "I should not have tied down the relief valve. ;D It's a good thing were all toons here or someone could get hurt bad. :D :D
BTW Slim I ordered a dozen Brammer bulls, they'll be here tommorow, ya think ya can learn to ride them. :D :D :D ::) ::) ::) ;)
"Yeah, I think the relief valve mighta had something to do with it." ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)
"I could sure try to ride one a dem Brammer bulls since I don't have to do any plumbing now." ;D
<Authors note; We know Slim is a Bozo on the Bus, we'll find out if he's a toon or not. ;D ;D>
<Arthur's note: Whatcha mean? Slim won't get hurt by one of dem nice critters. ;D>
(http://www.primghar.com/ranch/images/ballerina.jpg)
"BAD BRAHMAN BULL
So while they're a puttin' the bull in the chutes,
I'm strappin' my spurs to the heels of my boots.
Then I look the bull over, and to my surprise,
He's a foot and a half in between his two eyes.
On top of his shouldeers he's got a big hump,
So I take a deep seat just in back of that bump.
When I light on the Brahma, I let out a scream,
He's out with a beller, ant the rest is a .... "
2 more jumps Slim would have had him rode...
This is how it's done
Trinity rolls over in the hammock, yawns and seeing litl rooster he asks: "Who's Freckles?"
"I think there's plenty enough bull around here without bringing in Brahmans."
With a small humph, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother dusts off Delmonico and goes inside.
Delmonico goes inside and blubbers, "But, but, but, I could have been kilt when Mannheim exploded, or could of laid around fer days injured like the time ya hit me to hard." ::) ::)
But he is thinkin'"If I get a new steam traction engine with a roller, I'll get a carbide lamp for the front and chase them raccons at night and blind them in the limelight. Then we'll have enough F.R.I.S.B.E.E.'s to sell them and get rich, all the kids will want one." ;D ;D ::)
"If you had been hurt, it would have been through your own stupidity in letting the steam build to too high a pressure. You knew better. Are you going to fix that thing or are you going to let it lay in the yard in pieces so some future archeologist can find it and make up weird stories about us?"
With another humph, she goes upstairs to her cupola for the night. As she goes, she's singing softly.
"Well, I'm a steamroller, baby
I'm bound to roll all over you
Yes, I'm a steamroller now, baby
I'm bound to roll all over you
I'm gonna inject your soul with some sweet rock 'n roll
And shoot you full of rhythm and blues"
Stoney sees metal pars all over the yard. ;D "No more christmas carols." He unloads his shot gun and puts it back in the barn.
Slim goes into the kitchen and puts the coffee on.
Delmonico comes in the house and sees Slim in the kitchen. "Slim yer Bramas are here, they are ready for you to ride when you are." ;D ;D ;D
Delmonico goes back out in the yard and can't see what the FFg is complainin' 'bout, the pieces of Mannheim are scattered over 5 square miles and the only piece in the yard is the wheel. Delmonico fills it full of dirt and plants flowers in it. ;D
"Great! I'll have a cup of coffee, check fer eggs, milch the cow, and I'll be ready to bull ride." ;D ;D ;D Slim pour a cup. Gathers eggs and milches the cow. He put the milk and eggs in the icebox. He goes the his room. Puts on his batwing chips, bustin' spur, and gloves. He goes out to the porch. "Hey Del, we got a saddle big enough fer those critters?" :o :o :o :o "By the by, nice flower. What kind are they?"
They are Echinacea pallida variation angustifolia, but don't call them that out loud or the Herbal Folks will be out extractin' the roots of them. :o :o :o :o :o :o :o Ya might want to just call them Purple Cone Flowers. ;D
Delmonico hands Slim a bull rope and a glove, this all ya be needed Slim. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
With a scattering of glittering sawdust, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother appears, barring the doorway out.
"Slim, I know you already have plenty of children, so you may not care about that, but your dear wife would like some parts of you intact. You go out on those bulls and your eggs will be more scattered and scrambled than Delmonico's Mannheim. Don't do it!"
"My what? Scrambled?" :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o
"Nobody tolt me that!" >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:(
Delmonico talks to the fellas that brought the Brammers and makes a deal with them, sumthing about saddles and horses. ??? They leave with the bulls and say, "See you later." ::) ::)
Slim goes back in the kitchen fer another cup of coffee. He goes and sits and the porch. "I was lookin' forward ta bustin' dem bulls, but not fer that high tariff." :o :o :o :o
Delmonico comes into the kitchen, "Yer bronc's are here, see if that suits better." He hands Slim a purple saddle and a purple pair of chaps. ::) "If'n ya do good, I'll get ya a purple buggy to travel ta the rooooady-ooo's in. ;D ;D ;D
<Author's Note, must warn litl rooster about swallowin' hiscoffee first. He'll get this one even if Slim and the FFg don't. :D :D ;D ::)>
"Broncs are better. I've busted a few in ma day. But, not in purple. I'll use ma saddle and chaps. Thanks anyway." Slim walks to the corral to pick out one that might look like a challenge. :o :o :o
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother casts one of those looks to Delmonico. "They're broncs, not your little ponies, and I don't see you naming one of them Blossom."
I didn't name him, but there is one named Blossom among them. He is that bay, ain'tnever been rode, yet. ;D ;D One day he's a gonna throw his hide off with the cowboy. ;D
"That chestnut looks like he might be fun." ;D Slim goes to get his lasso.
"That's the one they call Widder Maker, if'n he carried pistols he'd have notches on them." ::) :o :o
"He's terrible ta sunfish on ya Slim."
"I'm game!" Slim loops Widder Maker, puts on a blind, and cinches the saddle. He carefully climbs in the stirrups and takes off the blind.
And he winds up and tosses Slim straight up in the air, so high his bad breath condenses. Slim comes down straddlin' a bob wire fence. It cut him clean up the middle, right to the buckle on his gun belt. ;D ;D
<Authors Note: Yer a toon Slim, just let out the stirrups and ride him on in.> ;D ::) ::) :P
(If Slim didn't beat me I got 4000)
(And Page 401) ;D ;D ;D ::) ;)
Slim climbs off the fence a bit more bull-legged, blinds Widder Maker again, lets out the stirrups, climbs in the saddle, and unblinds the horse. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Quote from: Delmonico on September 15, 2005, 01:20:07 PM
Delmonico comes into the kitchen, "Yer bronc's are here, see if that suits better." He hands Slim a purple saddle and a purple pair of chaps. ::) "If'n ya do good, I'll get ya a purple buggy to travel ta the rooooady-ooo's in. ;D ;D ;D
<Author's Note, must warn litl rooster about swallowin' hiscoffee first. He'll get this one even if Slim and the FFg don't. :D :D ;D ::)>
and he does.....Yep Baxter would be proud
His chaps were purple
his Cadillac purple
The sky was 1960 blue
he 's Casey the rainbow rider
6 time world champion Saddle Bronc Rider.....Did I say 6 times?
Trinty Freckles is Freckles Brown, the man Lane Frost learned bull ridin' from and is buried next to.
one more of the 6 time world champion saddle bronc rider .....Silver Crik Slim
Arthur's note: Hey Del! forget the steam roller, I just saw a glimpse of things to come.
This Gottlieb Daimler feller maybe on to something. He just made (1886) an horseless carriage using a petrol burning engine. :o of course this is all hapening in Stuttgart Germany. ;D
Slim is still on Widder Maker, but Widder Maker busted the rails of the corral and let all the broncs out. Slim and Widder Maker "dance" all o'er the yard and then all o'er the section. :o ::)
Delmonico decides he ain't havin' much fun since Mannheim blew up, now Slim is havin' all the fun. ;D
He goes and fires up his coal oil computor and makes another order. :o :o :o :o :o :o :o
He knows Slim is gonna be in trouble cause the horse's are wonderin' round the door yard leavin' horse apples all over, the FFg is gonna get him. ;D D Slim needs a roller like Delmonico did with the ox poop. ;D
Slim and Widder Maker "dance" in and out of the Dismal a few times.
Get him in a hole in the river about 4 feet deep and keep him there Slim, you'll have him in yer power then. ;D ;D ;D ;D (Many folks still use that old trick fer a rank horse.) ;D
Slim yells back, "That'll stop the smell, but how do I stop the pitchin'?" ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Delmonico decides that if'n slim is that green ta let him figger it out on his own. ::) ::) ::) He decides that he's hungry and if Slim ain't smart enough to get Widder Maker in the deep water that's tough. ;D
Delmonico gets some dried beef and cheese and makes a couple of samwhiches. He climbs to the roof of the barn and sits there munchin' on samwhiches and drinkin' coffee, watchin' Slim and wonderin' if'n he's gonna have to send Mrs. Slim a tellygram, 'splainin' why Slim ain't commin' home this weekend. ;D
They buried old Slim at daybreak, no tombstone for his head.
He only had a wooden board and this is what it read:
Slim died at sunrise; he died from a fall.
Hes gone to a better range; he heard his Master's call.
He'll not see his wife and kids,
When the works all done this fall.
Finishin' his looonch, Delmonico goes down to the barn to see if he can find a board for Slim's grave. :o :o
Slim decides that something is getting rank, not sure if it is him or Widder Maker, or a combination of them both. So, him drifts Widder Maker towards the Dismal for a bath.
Slim finally gets Widder Maker into the Dismal and finds a four feet deep hole. That takes all the fight outta Widder Maker. Slim stayed in the hole fer a quarter hour just fer good measure. Slim notices the sun is waning, so he rides Widder Maker back to the barn, unsaddles him, and puts him in a stall. Slim goes into the house and changes clothes. He grabs his flattened saddlebags and "Mighty Ten". As he's goin' out the door, he calls back, "See y'all on Monday!" He saddles his horse and heads northeast.
<Authors Note: litl rooster, ya want to 'splain to Slim that a rank hourse don't smell bad, but is bad. ::)>
Quote from: Delmonico on September 16, 2005, 05:50:58 PM
<Authors Note: litl rooster, ya want to 'splain to Slim that a rank hourse don't smell bad, but is bad. ::)>
You just did and looks like Slim rode the ruff outta that one, .....pssst bring Stump Sucker in for him Monday....he he
Quote from: Delmonico on September 16, 2005, 01:12:52 PM
He'll not see his wife and kids,
When the works all done this fall.
Finishin' his looonch, Delmonico goes down to the barn to see if he can find a board for Slim's grave. :o :o
should say
He'll not see his wife and kids.(depending on who is singin' it, mite say
MA)
When the
Roundup works is done this fall
Dern germans and their fancy sport horseless carriages
<Authors note: The words vary greatly. ;) We ain't fur enough forward in time fur Delmonico to order one. ;D ;D ;D But wait till ya see what the Over-Nite Pony Express Rider is bringin' tommorow. :o :o ::) ::) ;D ;D :D ;) ;) Bout quitin' time but Ian is singin' 'bout the MC Horses, so I ain't shuttin' of my Sterrioo befor he's done. ;D Would be rude>
well saddle them ponies boys
Quote from: litl rooster on September 16, 2005, 07:38:56 PM
Dern germans and their fancy sport horseless carriages
<<Authours note: Jealousy doesn't become you litl rooster! ;D ;D ;D ;D>>
At still site number twelve Trinity drinks a little and brews a little when a crazy idea for a new recipe strikes him.
While the current batch is brewing, he adds plenty of cinnamon and as a last flourish, he digs some gold flakes out of the bottom of his saddle bags and throws them in the mix.
"There! That shore looks purty... an' it'll make ever'one's poop look purty too!!!"
Delmonico is very upset when the Over-Nite Pony-Express rider shows up late. :o >:( Well he finds out packages that require a pack horse aint garennteed to be there before 11 am. ::) :D
The package is dropped of and Delmonico sees both wheels are there as he starts to put it together. ??? :o ::)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother, who had been mysteriously absent for a time, appears on the porch with a scattering of glittering sawdust.
"Whatcha building now, Delmonico?" She asks, with a very wary look.
Trinity is glad to see the FFG and struggles up out of the hammock to greet her. He pours her a glass of his new recipe and handing it to her, he says: "Wail, whar ya been Miss FFG? Ya done been missed!"
She takes a polite sip of the recipe, then looks at the fluid. "What's the flakey stuff floating around in it?"
Delmonico comes out of the barn with a contraption with a big wheel on front with pedals and a small wheel on back. The wheels are held together with some small pipes. ;D
"It is a Velocipede," and with that he heads off down the really smooth road. ;D ;D
For once, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother is impressed and she gives a low whistle.
"Look at that, Trinity, Delmonico did something that not only isn't harmful or evil, it looks like fun!"
Suddenly Delmonico stops and gets off his velocipede, he looks along the road and there is poop with gold flecks in it. ;D This makes him wonder what kind of creature has good flecks in it's poop. :o :o
Quote from: AnnieLee on September 18, 2005, 11:55:09 AM
She takes a polite sip of the recipe, then looks at the fluid. "What's the flakey stuff floating around in it?"
"Why that's gold miss FFG. Ah done thought it might make a nice addition to the drank. Y'ain' gotta take little sips of the stuff. Go on, take a hearty slug. It'll make ya breathe easier! ;D"
Quote from: AnnieLee on September 18, 2005, 12:28:48 PM
For once, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother is impressed and she gives a low whistle.
"Look at that, Trinity, Delmonico did something that not only isn't harmful or evil, it looks like fun!"
"Shaw-nuff! That shore does look like fun! Say, what's Del starin' at over yonder?" They both watch Delmonico shake his head and re-mount his Velocipede only to lose balance. In a slow, drawn out maneuver of frantically turning the handle bars left and right and weaving all about the road, he finally falls; landing in a cloud of dust.
Trinity turns to the FFG: "Sure has been dry this summer"
"But it looks like dragon dandruff!" She takes a slug anyway, swallowing hard to keep from coughing. Her eyes watering, she looks down the road just in time to see Delmonico's puff of dust. She can't help it, she laughs.
Trinity whispers: "Shhhhh or he will turn that contraption into something evil!!! Why'd you make such a face at mah new recipe? Ah thank it's rather good! Dragon dandruff, phooey." *glug glug*
"Ah think Ah'll name it Goldschläger in honor of all them gold miners in Californy"
Her laughter trails off.
"Are you telling me I just drank GOLD??" She stares at Trinity in startlement.
"Wail, it were in the bottom of mah saddle bags. There might be a little more than gold flakes, but the cookin' process killed anything bad." ;D
Brazos Bucky come by the wagon this evening and told me about Del's new contraption and his accsedent...I laughed out loud when I heard he didn't get hurt. He also told me to hurry up with the round up and get back cuz Trinty has discovered GOLD at the Ranch with No Name. Believing the gold has mostly run out in them parts, thinks Brazo's has discovered one of Trinty's stock piles, and got the news wrong.
<<Author's note: Those gold flakes in particular came from the time that gophergrease and Trinity sold some recipe to the miners / minors (depending on who's telling the story! ;D). If this new recipe goes over well, Trinity is going to have to "find" some more, either from one of his stock piles or through more sales.>>
Quote from: litl rooster on September 16, 2005, 07:38:56 PM
Dern germans and their fancy sport horseless carriages
Arthur's note: you mean like this one? :o They used them to go sight seeing Europe in the 1940s ::) ;D
Delmonico finnally gets back to the house to tend his road rash with some Iodine. :o He has been layin' in the road all busted up, all night long, while folks just laughed. :o :o :o With out help from any of the heartless folks who live at the ranch he makes it to his office. ;D
The reason Trinity was able to write in the part about fallin' off was because of a rut in the road, that won't roll out. ;) Delmonico decides the roller was not the right tool so he orders another Traction Engine and a Road Drag instead of a roller. He also orders a green traction engime because it will look good with the name this one is gonna get, Draggin' Wagon. ;D ;D ;D ;D
The next morning, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother spends her usual amount of time in the room with the Wedgwood porcelain. When she is done, she stares into the bowl.
"My lands, it does have gold flecks in it. Now it looks like dragon poop!"
She hurriedly flushes, washes her hands, and heads downstairs.
<Author's note: I would like to point out that Delmonico had nothing to do with starting the poop that showed up recently in this thread. ;D>
<Arthur's note: What is this a fecal matter convention?> ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)
Slim rides into the yard, puts his horse away, and takes his saddle bags filled with Wiscoooooooooooooooooooonsin cheese to the house. "Morning y'all."
Delmonico is in the kitchen, all covered with scrapes and Iodine. ;D He also notices that the Sturrips on Slim's horse are still let out clear to the end. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Slim walks into the kitchen to put the cheese in the icebox. "Del, what happened to you this time?"
The corners of the Frumpy Fairy Godmother's mouth twitch with suppressed laughter as she gives Slim a greeting hug, then she helps him with the cheese and gets more gauze for Delmonico. She somehow manages to not say a word.
"Thanks fer the hug and the help, ma'am." He pours himself a cup of coffee and sits at the table to wait fer the explanation of Del's wounds. ;D ;D
;D Brazos walks into the kitchen sees everybody looking at Del. "Whats this I hear about Del peddleing his #@&% all over the place. ::) I didn't think men did that sort of thing? What did ya all do, beat him senseless for such misbegotten behavior? :o :o
"Mind if I have a little of that Cheese Slim, I been out lookin' fer the gold Trintiy says is in these parts? Brazos looks at all the bumps, bruises, and blood tinged gause on Del. "Might sorry to see you all banged up Del, what is that thing all bent up out in the yard?
It was my Velocipede till it got wrecked. And sorry pard, the only gold in these parts is in Trinity's poop. ;D :o :o
"Sure, Brazos, ya can have as much cheese as ya want. But, too much might need the Del treatment." :o :o :o :o :o :o ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother's voice is quiet as she looks at the mess.
"Do you think we could fix the Veloci...thing?"
"I bet Trinity could "fix" it." ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
"No, I meant fix it so a person could ride it." She speaks a little sharply, then quiets again. "That is, if a person would want to."
"OHhhhh," says Brazos, "guess i got the meanin's mixed up, ha" ;D ;D ;D. "sorry Del to add to your hurtin'. That latest contraption looks a might hard to ride, and I guess it is by the looks of Del."
Braozos moseys over to the Ice Box and cuts himself a chunk of cheese. "FFG you hinting that you'd like a crack at riding that machine?" Brazos eyes FFG, "why with your special power and that twinkly dust of your'n, you could do it!"
"Hey, I bet with a alittle dust, you could make it like new again!"
"I was doin' fine till Trinity posted that I fell down, that was not in my plan. ;D Wait till my road drag gets here, we'll see how far Trinity will stretch." ;D ;D ;D
<Author note, Delmonico takes the velocipede to the barn and fixes it. The FFg puts on a proper pair of bloomers and goes ridin' down the road, hopin' Trinity don't post that she fell down.> ;D ;D ;D ;D
She starts off a little wobbly and nearly crashes a time or two, but then catches the hang of it and goes pedaling down the road, hair and hairpins flying in her wake. She isn't really good at turns, though, and it takes her nearly an acre of ground to make the turn to come back up the road. Halfway up the road to the house, she sees the gents on the porch. With a sudden awareness that they might have a view of her bloomers, she hops off the velocipede and walks it back to the house.
Her cheeks are rosy, her smile is a mile wide.
"That was fun!"
"That was good, FFg. But, I think I'd get hurt worse by that contraption than from Widder Maker." :o :o :o :o :o
"Aw, Slim, it's fun, try it! I'll help hold it steady for you to start." Holding the velocipede with one hand, she beckons him with the other.
<Authors note, bloomers ain't the same as pantaloons, bloomers is outside wear and proper for ladies playin' tennis or ridin' velocipedes.>
<Author's note: They may have been proper for most ladies, but not for the Frumpy Fairy Godmother. So there. :P >
<Authors Note: I'm gonna tell the Moderator ya stuck yer tongue out at me.> :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P
Slim stands on the porch with his eyes big as saucers. "I don't know about this." :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o
<Arthur's note 1: Quit stickin' yer tongues out. A passenger pigeon might dive bomb yer tongues.>
<Arthur's note 2: What brand of velocipede is this? So, I can post a pic.>
<Authors Note: What ever kind ya want Slim. ;D>
:P
Suddenly, the sky becomes dark as a flock of passenger pigeons flys over and dive bombs Delmonico. ;D ;D ;D ;D
Delmonico laughs at Slim once more:
http://www.si.edu/resource/faq/nmnh/passpig.htm
The range of the passenger pigeon in its migrations was from central Ontario, Quebec, and Nova Scotia south to the uplands of Texas, Louisiana, Alabama, Georgia, and Florida. Only a few birds were ever reported as far west as the Dakotas.
The main nesting area was in the region of the Great Lakes and east to New York. The main wintering sites stretched from Arkansas to North Carolina south to the uplands of the Gulf Coast states.
So, :P :P :P :P :P :P :P to ya Slim. ;D
"Hey Slim, ya sure about the birds, could they have been Ceder Wax Wings? Those little fellows can sure make a mess when they get iinto berries and other plants. :P Maybe that is what got ol' Del." Brazos whispers to Slim. ;)
"Don't think those things will ever replace a horse as transportation" intones Brazos. "Ya'd think that ridin' one of those things would be hard on your sixshooter if'in ya fell over. And Lord knows, no one in their right mind would want to not be wearin' their sixshooter!" :o says Brazos as he wonders back to get more cheese. "Trinity you got anymore of that sparkly brew to wash down this here cheese?"
"Nice ridiing though FFG, now that you rode it are you going to try trick riding?" Mumbles Brazos with a mouth full of cheese. :-X
Hearing his name, Trinity opens one eye and sees Brazos standing above him. Trinity smiles and reaches under the hammock and slides a jug over to him. "Ya lahk that there cinamon tastin' stuff?"
Quote from: Delmonico on September 19, 2005, 02:57:04 PM
<Author note, Delmonico takes the velocipede to the barn and fixes it. The FFg puts on a proper pair of bloomers and goes ridin' down the road, hopin' Trinity don't post that she fell down.> ;D ;D ;D ;D
<<Author's note: Why, Trinity would never do such a thing!>>
Quote from: Delmonico on September 19, 2005, 02:55:27 PM
"I was doin' fine till Trinity posted that I fell down, that was not in my plan. ;D Wait till my road drag gets here, we'll see how far Trinity will stretch." ;D ;D ;D
Sore sport! >:(
;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on September 19, 2005, 04:18:42 PM
:P
:P :P
Quote from: Trinity on September 19, 2005, 07:53:48 PM
Quote from: Delmonico on September 19, 2005, 02:57:04 PM
<Author note, Delmonico takes the velocipede to the barn and fixes it. The FFg puts on a proper pair of bloomers and goes ridin' down the road, hopin' Trinity don't post that she fell down.> ;D ;D ;D ;D
<<Author's note: Why, Trinity would never do such a thing!>>
<Author's note: :-* :-* :-* :D for Trinity..... and :P to Del.)
(http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/naughty/19.gif)
Suddenly a flock of Merganzers (fish ducks) flies by and leaves really fishy tastin' bird poop on the FFg and Trinity's tongues. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Delmonico knows he's safe cause Triity's light is out, so he takes the velocipede and heads off. ::) ::)
Meanwhile slim sees the Merganzers and grabs his mighty 10 gauge, he's been hungry for fish. ;)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother closes her mouth just in time, but she bites her tongue and still gets poop on her nose. She frowns toward Delmonico and gives her wand a small twitch.
Brazos sees Del ridin' off on his velo-whatever. " Del at least nobody will hit ya with that Bright Red hat on your head!" Brazos yells. Del turns and looks back, his bright blue mustache blowin' in the breeze. Jumpin' gee hoasaphat!" Brazos bellows, Del your mustache is bright blue!"
FFG you sure did a number on ol' Del this time! heh heh heh
Slim what say we finish off that cheese you brought. Brazos grabs Slim by the arm, they carefully step over Trinity and head for the kitchen. :D
Delmonico comes in to the kitchen which smells like 3 day old carp, cause Slim is cookin' merganzers. :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P
He sees Brazos and Slim eating most of a 25 pound block of cheese. :o :o :o :o :o :o He hands both of them a Citrate de Magnesium soda. "Here you'll both need this by mornin' but drink it far from the house. Don't want no flyin' cheese bouncin' off the walls." :o :o
(http://www.fws.gov/duckstamps/federal/images/2004%20Contest%20Images/Don%20Moore%203rd%20Place%202004_small.jpg)
Dis one?
Slim lets out a BIG burp. ;D ;D
<Authors note: Dat's it a Hooded Merganzer. Most folks won't eat dem cause dey don't like their fish with feathers on it..>
As Slim burps there is a rumblin' noise comin' from both Slim and Brazos, the cheese is settin' up in their bowels like wet concrete on a 100+ degree day. ;D Delmonico hollors to hurry and drink the fancy lemon soda afore the cheese makes a permanent plug in their colon's. :o :o :o :P As soon as they are Done, Delmonico sends them over to the other side of Horent's Nest Hill. ;)
And while all that is going on, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother is merrily riding the velocipede, laughing like a school gerl.
Out of nowhere a very angry Joe Dalton (he has been really angry ever since he fell of the Dalton Studebaker while he was asleep some weeks ago ;D ) stops the FFG at gunpoint climbs on the velocipede and disappears pedalling away at enormous speed. :o
Suddenly behind Hornet's Nest Hill there is multiple popping noises sounding like pistol fire. :o :o :o :o
Suddenly right in front of the FFg, a ball of yaller cheese about 2 inches in diameter lands in the road. :o :o :o :o :o ::) ::) ::) ::) :P :P :P ;) Another one hits Joe in the head knockin him cold. ;D The FFg gets the Velocipede and heads back to the ranch. ::)
<Authors Note: I thought about a larger size, but I'm just mean, not sadistic. ;D>
Joe gets up swiftly and realizing the velocipede and it's rider are gone runs away from the ranch.
His curses can be heard from the ranch house for a long time as he disappears into the horizon. ::)
Quote from: Delmonico on September 21, 2005, 11:01:45 AM
Suddenly behind Hornet's Nest Hill there is multiple popping noises sounding like pistol fire. :o :o :o :o
Suddenly right in front of the FFg, a ball of yaller cheese about 2 inches in diameter lands in the road. :o :o :o :o :o ::) ::) ::) ::) :P :P :P ;) Another one hits Joe in the head knockin him cold. ;D The FFg gets the Velocipede and heads back to the ranch. ::)
<Authors Note: I thought about a larger size, but I'm just mean, not sadistic. ;D>
<Arthur's note: Thank you. ;D>
Slim and Brazos walk gingerly back to the ranch house. :o
Her eyes wide, her hair flying out behind her, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother pedals as fast as she can back to the house. All around her is the theme music from Dorothy's nasty, dog-snatching neighbor. She stops at the porch and points back behind her.
"A... a man... tried... " panting for breath, "he ... he tried to steal the ... the.. vel.. this thing!"
Arthur's note: You have just met Joe Dalton the oldest, shortest and meanist of the Dalton Bros. ;D
"How dare he try to steal that thing!" >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:(
Slim comes over to help and capture the bad guy, as Joe tries to get up, Slim hits him again with a cheese ball, right in the gut, near the navel. Joe goes down again and now he's bleeding from both ends. :P :P :P :P
Trinity wakes up due to the sounds coming from the kitchen. As he enters to investigate, he is greeted with the wonderful aroma of old fish and poo. Trinity gags and tries not to throw up but is unsuccessful! Luckily, his vomit, although copious, is clear and lump-free.
Braozs moseys back from over the hill and says "Boy that stuff sure did work, I haven't felt this good fer quite a while. he still walks a little gingerly, "there was some fella cussing a blue streak come runnin' around the hill and slipped in Slim's and my leavins' I think he is still a slidin' trying to stay upright! Hope he don't do a face plant over there.
" I see FFG is back, looks a little winded" Brazos notices Slim comin' back from down the road, and he looks a little slimmer too. He avoids the kitchen for there is a very gamey odor emanting from said kitchen! Del has changed his hat back to black his mustache still has a few streaks of bright blue intermingled with the black!
"Well, Delmonico, whats next in this wacky tale?" Brazos asks.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother takes a step toward the kitchen then backs away, slowly.
"I'm not going in there."
(Author's note: Gee, thanks, Trinity, I read that just as I was sitting down for lunch! BLECH! )
Delmonico was wise enough to have the kitchen floor made of cement and with a floor drain, he justs hoses the floor and everything is fine. ;D To finish the job, he goes to the porch and hoses off Trinity till the wooden tank it empty. ;D ;D
As he is rollin' up the rubber hosethe windmill is fillin' the tank. lokkin' at the hose he has an idea for the next time Slim and Brazos eat to much cheese. :o :o :o ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ;)
<Authors note: The History Channel is gonna run Plumbing, Bathrooms and Sewers on a Modern Marvels Marathon tonight. Three fer the price of one. ::)>
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
"Now that would really clean the colon and everything else!" Stammers Brazos with very wide eyes! :o :o :o
Can you say, "hydrotherapy"? ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother enters the kitchen and opens the icebox.
"Hey!! That cheese was supposed to last us another five days!"
She turns and glares at Brazos. "You ate it, you replace it!"
Delmonico points out that there is still a half jar of Gee-wiz in the ice box. ;D ;D ;D ;D
Safely indoors, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother sticks her tongue out at the Gee-Whiz.
:P
An Ittsy Bittsy Spider drops down on a web so fine it's hard to see. The Ittsy Bittsy Spider lands on the FFg's tongue and makes an Ittsy bittsy Spider poop on it, before climbing back to the ceiling. ;D ;D
...and the poop is so itsy bitsy the Frumpy Fairy Godmother never notices it.
( So there. :P )
Delmonico comes in and sees the little spot of gold the drunken spider left and thinks the FFg got her tongue pierced. :o ::) ::) ::) ;D ;D ;D ;)
:D :D :D :D :D :D
Brazos does a very deep and professional style ( a 10 on the judges scale) bow to the FFG. He whispers to Slim, "Hey pard, can you like make a real quick pony express type ride and get some more cheese? Maybe even a double order?" He gives a head nod toward Del and the FFG, "do it while those two keep doin' the poop, not poop thing."
Brazos looks closer at Del and notices that Del's mustache has turned back to all black and muses that Del did look kinda shoarp in that Bright Red Hat though. ha ;D
Suddenly the Ittsy Bittsy Spider drops down from the ceiling of the porch, a pop is heard as it pulls the cork from Trinity's jug of golden cinny-mon brew. :o :o :o :o It takes three big gulps, grabs Trinity out of the hammock and carries him to the ceiling of the porch. ;D ;D ;D ;D
Once back to it's web, it wraps him completly in spider silk and hangs him in the corner for later. ;) ;)
Delmonico comes out and sees just Trinity's nose peekin' out of the silk, he shakes his head and heads to the workshop out in the barn. ;D
And Trinity sleeps very comfortably. Almost more comfortably than in the hammock... almost! As he awakens, he realizes that the situation is not normal. For fear that he might damage his new bed he only ever so gingerly extricates himself. Then he takes his cocoon down and takes it outside where he hangs it in the corner. "Thar. Ah lahk it better outside!"
Trinity takes a long swig out of a new jug and stretches. Feeling the jug's weight, Trinity is satisfied that it's going to be a good couple of hours. ;D ;D
Quote from: AnnieLee on September 21, 2005, 02:41:13 PM
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother takes a step toward the kitchen then backs away, slowly.
"I'm not going in there."
(Author's note: Gee, thanks, Trinity, I read that just as I was sitting down for lunch! BLECH! )
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Suddenly Trinity is being wrapped in spider silk and is tied tighter to his hammock that he was in the corner of the celing of the porch. :o :o :o He looks as the Ittsy Bittsy Spider, finishes the jug and heads to the ceiling of the porch. ::)
As Slim comes from the barn with the evenings milk in the pail, he is captured also and drug to the top of the porch and then it has Brazos also. ::) ::) Delmonico comes from the wookshop., looks at them wonders what silly game they are playing now and heads to the kitchen to fix him some supper. ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother steps out on the porch and sees the tied up men. She looks further and sees the Itsy Bitsy spider who isn't so itsy bitsy now.
"DORIS!!" She yells, causing the spider to curl up its legs. "Stop that! I said you could live here as long as you behaved! Well, tying up my friends isn't behaving, so you let them go right now!"
Multifaceted eyes swirl as the spider regards her.
"I said, NOW!"
With a movement that is a phsyical kinsman to a sigh, the spider drops down and releases Slim and Bucky. As it starts on Trinity, she stops it. "That's all right, he looks comfy."
The spider moves back to the corner and the Frumpy Fairy Godmother goes back inside, smiling.
( Author's note: I changed the name of the spider because Myrtle was a turtle and as the Beatles know, Doris is a spider. :D))
FFg comes into the kitchen where Delmonico is boilin' corned beef cabbage, onions and potatoe with a couple of turnips. ;D As he says, "supper is late but it will be ready in a few minutes," he notices the tiny little spot of gold on her tongue. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
;D ;D ;D Brazos comes into the kitchen, "Look at my fine new silk long johns! Going to be nice and comfy this winter!" Better wash up for supper! Smells good! ;D hey Delmonico what di ya do with that nice Bright Red hat? T-heh.
Slim and Trinity are just hanging around out on the porch, should be in directly. (sorry I just couldn't resist!) Brazos heads over to the wash basin and scrubs up.
"Thank you, Delmonico." The good meal removes the gold speck on her tongue but doesn't do a thing for his coat.
Stoney come outta his room rubbing his eyes. Seeing the man in the red coat he screams, "Christmas already?" :o He runs to his room and return with hammer nail and a sock. Quickly he nails his stocking by the fire.
arthur's note: Ho! Ho! Ho!? ::) ;D
As soon as Stoney's back is turned, his socks crawl off the nails, one grabs the hammer and pulls out the nails. They sneak up and nail Stoney's boots to the floor, the nails luckly passing between the toes. ;D
Delmonico is makin' pankakes and watches out of the corner of his eye. As the socks head to Trinity's room he says to Stoney, "Don't be borrowin' Trinity's socks." ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
<Author's note: work about Brazos and Slim and the rapid fire cheese that was used to shoot down Joe Dalton spread through out the land. When it reached Ogdon Utah a fella a named John Browning used the idea to invent a gun, later know as the 1896 Colt machine gun. ;D ;D A pair of these were a great help to TR and his Rough Riders. Thanks Brazos and Slim. ::) ::) ::) ;D>
Contrary to what some people may think Joe Dalton didn't stay down after being hit for the second time (he's a toon after all ;D ), he wasn't even bleeding. His red neckerchief may have given a false impression. ::) He simply got up dusted himself off and got out of sight planning his revenge. :o
Slim comes in from the porch and washes fer supper.
Quote from: Delmonico on September 22, 2005, 09:31:14 AMUtah a fella a named John Browning used the idea to invent a gun, later know as the 1896 Colt machine gun. ;D ;D A pair of these were a great help to TR and his Rough Riders. Thanks Brazos and Slim. ::) ::) ::) ;D>
Arthur's note: And me thinking they were a blessing to potato planters. ::) ;D
Arthur's note too: It's really the Colt model 1895 ::)
<Delmonico's note: Yep, my mind fails once in a while. ;D>
Now fully awake and nailed to the floor, Stoney realizes that's wasn't Santa. ::) Removing his feet from his boots he was then able to get leverage to pull out the nails.
He sits down to eat cuz' everyone else is getting ready for supper.
(http://www.cascity.com/forumhall/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=974.0;attach=3571;image)
Up in his perch, Trinity awakens and clears a hole so that he can see. The first thing he sees is Delmonico in his new outfit.
"Hey! You look lahk that there man that is always at the ladies' waggon countin' money!!!"
<Arthur's note: Y'all talkin' 'bout spiders and I get attacked by one. :o :o :o :o :o I was minding my own business and it jumped on my arm. I knocked it to the floor. It's now part of the carpet. >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( With it's legs, It was about the size of a quarter. Now, I'm gonna have the willies the rest of the day.>
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on September 22, 2005, 12:30:43 PM
<Arthur's note: Y'all talkin' 'bout spiders and I get attacked by one. :o :o :o :o :o I was minding my own business and it jumped on my arm. I knocked it to the floor. It's now part of the carpet. >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( With it's legs, It was about the size of a quarter. Now, I'm gonna have the willies the rest of the day.>
< Author's note:
It's All Del's Fault!!
:D >
Quote from: AnnieLee on September 22, 2005, 12:45:02 PM
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on September 22, 2005, 12:30:43 PM
<Arthur's note: Y'all talkin' 'bout spiders and I get attacked by one. :o :o :o :o :o I was minding my own business and it jumped on my arm. I knocked it to the floor. It's now part of the carpet. >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( With it's legs, It was about the size of a quarter. Now, I'm gonna have the willies the rest of the day.>
< Author's note:
It's All Del's Fault!!
:D >
<Arthur's note: That's fer sure!>
::) ::) ::) ::) ::)
:'( Poor ol' Del everybody always blamin' poor ol' Delmonico! :'(
Most of the time its true and he loves it!
Brazos sits down at the table picks up his fork and digs in! "ummmmmmm, this is goood! Del may be sneaky sometimes but he sure can cook." Trinity you go any jugs that ain't got spider stuff in 'um?
Delmonico goes out to the porch, he sees a whole herd of Prairie rattlesnakes out in the door yard. ;D :o :o ::) ;)
<Now what am I going to do if Slim gets attacked by a rattlesnake at work. ;D>
;D Sorry pard! :'( But you know they'll say its your fault too. ::)
authors note from litl' rooster. While scouting water today for the herd, I come across a trail of apple cores...Very small boot prints in the dust along the way...I have a feeling the Dalton bros. are nearby. I will send a man to wire the Marshall in the morning. Wish Mr. Browning would leave me one of his new inventions. Just Call it Home Thread Security
Slim lies in bed, unable to sleep 'cause of a rattlin' noise. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D He lights his lamp and sees a large center-peed on the floor crawlin' in his pink bunny slippers. :o :o :o
Just then, an odd man playing a pipe wanders down the road toward the house. Wearing a patchwork or pied coat, he doesn't pause, he keeps going toward the Dismal. Behind him are scores of rats and mice. The rattlesnakes catch wind of the rodents and take off after them.
Then Doris the spider drops into Slim's room, snatches up the centipede, waves a leg at Slim, and scurries back out.
<Arthur's note: I'm begining to think the FFG does nothing but clean up the mess Del gets us into. ;D >
A new day dawn's on the Ranch. Stoney is up first for a change and makes coffee, buscuits and gravey, eggs, sausage and bacon.
While sittin on the porch eating an express rider comes with a letter for Stoney and he opens it. Seeing it was from the Marshal, Stoney asks the rider to wait for reply.
QuoteDear Stoney,
I have not been able to reach the "Frontier" for days. I miss all y'all. Have explored other areas, but the atmoshere is not the same. Hope to gain access soon.
Marshal Will Wingam
Stoney grabs a pencil and paper and writes back.
QuoteMarshall,
Come to Newbrasky. They let me in, they'll let anybody. All the usual suspects are here.
Stoney Pete
<arthur's note: I received an email from the marshall asking about TFS. I have extended an invite to this thread.>
<Author's Note: He's a bozo on this bus ain't he. ;D>
Quote from: stoneypete on September 23, 2005, 05:31:18 AM
<Arthur's note: I'm begining to think the FFG does nothing but clean up the mess Del gets us into. ;D >
A new day dawn's on the Ranch. Stoney is up first for a change and makes coffee, buscuits and gravey, eggs, sausage and bacon.
While sittin on the porch eating, an express rider comes with a letter for Stoney and he opens it. Seeing it was from the Marshal, Stoney asks the rider to wait for reply.
QuoteDear Stoney,
I have not been able to reach the "Frontier" for days. I miss all y'all. Have explored other areas, but the atmoshere is not the same. Hope to gain access soon.
Marshal Will Wingam
Stoney grabs a pencil and paper and writes back.
QuoteMarshall,
Come to Newbrasky. They let me in, they'll let anybody. All the usual suspects are here.
Stoney Pete
<arthur's note: I received an email from the marshall asking about TFS. I have extended an invite to this thread.>
<Arthur's note 1: He is always welcome.>
<Arthur's note 2: Stoney ya might want to insert a comma or someone may say yer from the Donner Expedition. :o>
Slim gets outta bed and throws the pink bunny slippers outta the window. He goes to the kitchen fer coffee and grub. He pours a cup, fills a plate, and goes to the porch to eat. "Morning, Stoney. Thanks fer the coffee and grub."
Sitting in the garden, munching on some lettuce, Mopsy sees the pink bunny slippers come flying out of the window. Mopsy screams and his poor little bunny heart explodes. Daisy spies dead Mopsy and gingerly picks said dead bunny up in her mouth to take it to the Frumpy Fairy Godmother. Daisy nearly waddles, she is so fat and she has difficulty jumping on the Frumpy Fairy Godmother's bed, so she drops the ex rabbit on her boots.
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on September 23, 2005, 10:18:37 AM
<Arthur's note 2: Stoney ya might want to insert a comma or someone may say yer from the Donner Expedition. :o>
<Now I'z got's worry about gammer? ??? :o
I'm in trouble now. :'( ;) ;D
Besides, express riders taste good if you cook 'em right and wash 'em down with sour mash. (http://users.telenet.be/eforum/emoticons4u/evil/676.gif)>
Brazos awakes, rubs his eyes, and inhales. ;D " wow, somebody has fixed breakfast!" Brazos dresses quickly and rushes downstairs to the kitchen. Slim and Stoney is on the porch eatin', Brazos loads a plate and joins them. "Mornin' fellers!," Brazos pulls up a chair and sits. " Thanks for the vittles Stoney, and thanks to you too Slim for leavin me some!"
Brazos gets a stern look on his face, " Don't go a foolin' with the Marshal folks, he runs this city and if you start smartin' off about him ya may find yourself, like in these new talky films: :o
FLYIN' OFF INTO THE SKY, NEVER TO BE SEEN OR HEARD OF AGAIN!
"
Brazos stops talkin' long enough to fill his mouth with grub. ;D
"Brazos, I know how to share once in awhile." ;)
Another rider approaches with another Telegraham. This one form cousin Tom. The rider hand it to Stoney and jumps back. He's heard rumors and won't take any chances they may be true.
QuoteDear Cousin Pete,
I've been hearing about this place in Newbrasky. Thinking of visiting and maybe setting down roots. Comments welcome.
Lucky Irish Tom
Reply
QuoteTom,
Bring some of the Irish wiskey, a sense of humor and don't forget to bring yourself. All are always welcome.
"Hey everbody. We may need to add on to the house. " Oh that right everybody, but me has a life on the weekend and don't post much.
Being busy in the kitchen, Delmonico takes a cue from someone in another thread and whops Stoney with an irun skillet. ;D
As he lays there in a daze, Delmonico says, "Someone has to keep up the ranch." ;D ;D ;D
A wagon crests the top of the rise. Irish manuevers his team towards house up ahead.
Hey Cuzzin Stoney, ya there? I brung a wagonload ah Irish Whiskey!
hearing the words Irish Whiskey, Stoney is dazed but on his feet.
"Welcome Cousin Tom. The man with the skilet is Del. He's not that dangerous. The ffg keeps him in line. Slim will be back on monday. He goes home to his wife and 13 children. he'll bring cheeze with him when he gets back. My bed is huge so you can bunk with me till we figure out where you'll be staying."
Stoney takes a bottle of whiskey and puts it on Trinity's hammock. A gift since he been so generous with his sqeezin's.
Ah got a couple a kegs a ffg, ya reckon that'll hold Del till Monday?
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother steps out on the porch and thwaps Pete with her hat, then points to the lovely and mostly unoccupied bohunk house.
"Your friend can sleep there, once proper introductions have been made."
She leans and takes back the skillet from Delmonico, tsking as she returns it to the kitchen.
Delmonico saddles up his mule and heads up the Dismal River to an ash grove to cut a crooked stick. ;D He thinks maybe he may need one a dem sha-lay-lee things in case this son of Erie get out a line. ;D ;D
Irish looks at Stoney and says, "Is the nice lady with the fry pan gonna fix us some vittles?"
Stoney looks quick to see if ffg heard him then says with a horrified look on his face, "Irish are you drunk again?"
Irish replies, "Technically no Stoney, since that would require sobering up during an intervening period!"
Delmonico comes out of the kitchen and hollors, "Suppers ready, In honor of our new Bozo, were havein' Mutton and barley soup, boiled tater, boiled cabbage and soder bread." Delmonico looks at that and sees why Irish Tom don't want to sober up. ;D
Excuse me, I love the taste of the Irish liquid, but no cowboy worth his salt will eat sheep! Brazos gets up and stomps out of the kitchen! He gets his mouse colored horse saddled, and rides for town to get him some BEEF!
Rubbin he head from being whacked twice for nuttin' he turn to the FFG, "Tom's alot more than my friend. He's family. He's my seconds cousin's, nephew's uncle's bother's dog's owner's 3rd cousin by marriage on my father's side."
Stoney goes to the stove and takes the greasey bacon skillet from the other days' breakfast and thwacks Del on the head. "Wow that was theraputic."
Feeling better, he makes breakfast. Eggs, bacon, buscuits and gravy and LOTS of coffee. When all was ready he fulls his cup and plate and one for Tom, "Here Tom, right now your guest. By lunch you will be on your own."
Stoney heads out to the porch to watch the sun rise.
Slim rides into the yard, put his horse away, and takes the saddlebags to the house. "Morning, Stoney. I'll put the cheese the the icebox, grab some grub, and back back out." Slim puts the cheese in the icebox. He fills a cup with coffee and a plate with grub. He takes a seat on the porch.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother joins Slim on the porch. Her legs swing back and forth like a little gerl's as she sips her coffee. Daisy and Claire, both now bulging like footballs, beg for food.
"Morning, ma'am."
Delmonico still lays there out cold, Brazo's is gettin' mighty hungry because of the two day ride to town. ;D Trinity feasts on all the leftover cooked beef in the icebox. ;D
Slim pours a bucket of water on Del.
But he's still out cold. The cut on his head is startin' to get red and inflammed. ;D
Author's note>>>>at the wagon tonight the cosie complained that some one rode out of camp on a mouse colored horse...He said, before he could figured out who what why...He found our dried beef for the trail had been swapped for Mutton.... Tommorow I will kill a Deer to replace the Mutton, till a dry cow can be culled. My men can't work ifn' all they get to eat is mutton. No sign of trouble from the Dalton but the night hawk has been doubled.
Quote from: Delmonico on September 26, 2005, 05:46:26 PM
But he's still out cold. The cut on his head is startin' to get red and inflammed. ;D
<Auhor's note. Since I know we're all toons, Does this mean we get to see his head explode and him grow a new one?
Most likey will see, cause Delmonico has came to enough to crawl to his bed as the pus starts to ooze from the head wound. ;D In his blurred state he knows his fever is startin' to rise to the danger point. The faithful yaller dog guards stands guard. ;D ;D ;D
whisper mode on> Del tye a note around the yallar dogs collar send him for help>>>>whisper mode off
Delmonico tries to write a note with his pencil stup, but passes back out. ::)
Brazos comes in filled to the gills with all the beef from town, not to mention the wonderful two days laid up with a cosie! :D Takes a look in on Del, and says "Poor fella, your heads ten sizes to big! (from the injury FFG not from his personallity side!)" Ol' Brazos pulls from his pocket (Arthur Note, {see I know that guy too} Brazos his big pockets too) a liniment gar with stuff he uses on his horse fer wire and steer hornh scrapes, and salves some on Del's wounded head. :P
Then he exits ol' Del's room and hits the kitchen just in time to get the last of the bacon and eggs. Maybe six or eight eggs and a side of bacon. See he is a might hungry from his time with the cosie. :o Another word from the Arthur Note fella, Brazos head is a little too big to! ;D
:D Stoney thinks it's funny that brazo's used horse liniment on Del's head. He's thought of Del as a horses rearend before but never the other end of the spine. ;) ;D
Extatic that Brazo's brought beef, Stoney makes Steak and eggs for breakfast. Coffee is hot and there's even water on for tea should someone prefer.
Irish goes to the wagon and pulls out a kit with bandages and betadine (Author's note >> Also used on horses cuts and infected areas<<) He brings the kit back to the Frumpy Fairy Godmother, "Ma'm (tip hiz hat) don't you think we should clean thet wound an bandage thet Del feller up right proper?"
Slim goes into the kitchen and puts on a fresh pot of coffee.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother blinks as though coming out of a daze. She looks at the two female dogs.
"Gads you two are fat!"
Daisy and Claire give her very hurt looks and slowly waddle away. With great effort they climb the stairs and go into Trinity's room.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gets up and goes into the kitchen.
"I smell liniment. Did Delmonico get hurt again?"
Then she hears Irish and turns to him. "Well, if it's a head wound, you may not be able to help. I've found that stuff on or in Delmonico's head tends to fester until it is ripe, then it explodes... one way or another. But I reckon it wouldn't hurt to try."
Ever lost ennyone when hiz head explodes? Nevermind, I reckon if we put up a rope to keep people far enough away nobody would get hurt. That way we could sell tickets cause I imagina a lotta people would pay to see the exploding head. How long ya reckon it'll take FFG?
;) ;) ;)
"Not more than a few pages of this here thread!" Brazos pipes in! "Ol' Del can't be down for long, he has too many Irons in the fire." Braozs goes to check on Delmonico and can hardly squeeze the door open to get in Del's room. :o Del's head is startin' to look like one of them there hot air ballons! :o "Boy, good thing we all is toons" chortles Brazos. "Otherwise your head would have exploded real ugly stuff all over your room!"
:P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P
The horse linny-mint draws out the bad stuff and breaks Delmonico's fever. ;D ;D all covered with quilts he is still out cold, but starts to sweat. :o :o Soon there is a river of sweat coming out from under his door and running down the hall way. :P :P :P
<Authors Note: Delmonico uses Horse Linny-mints on his wounds quite often fer real. As good as most human stuff and a lot cheaper. ;D ;)>
Irish notes the rising water flowing through the kitchen and out onto the porch. It seems to be coming from Del's room. Then he notices that the walls of Del's room have begun to bulge outward. He quickly wades back through the kitchen gesturing back the way he come, everbody run I think its gonna blow! :o
Slim comes outta his room and sees a stream flowing down the hall. He hears the walls of Del's room creaking. He goes to Del's door and touches the knob. The door bursts open with a tidal wave. Slim is swept out into the yard.
<Arthur's note: The first indoor waterpark! ;D ;D ;D ;D>
When the water/sweat quits flowin' delmonico washes his quilts and hangs them to dry. "Memberin' it was Stoney Pete that whopped him this time, he graps him, throws him in hot water, adds lye soap, scrubs him on the wash board, runs him through the wringer and hangs him up to dry by his ears. ;D
He then graps a mop and mops up the floor. ;D
Slim picks himself up outta the salty-sandy mud. He sees Stoney dripping wet hangin' by the ears from the clothes line. He shakes his head and mumbles to himself, "This place is gittin stranger all the time." He gets a clean set of clothes and takes a bath.
"Stoney is sure gonna have sore ears when he drys out! Was it fun comin' down the stairs in that torrent Slim?" Brazos muses, "It were a good thing I was outside when Del openned his door. He looked like one of them surfer dudes comin' down that wave of sweat water on his headboard!" ;D
Brazos watches Delmonico to see what he will next come up with!
"It was until I hit the closed front door." :o :o :o :o
From the die-rect-ion of dunning, several wagons come over the hill. Ine is covered with a tarp, one has a large wooden vat and there a several barrels marked sulphuric acid. Thes are also several small kegs marked iron fillings. There is also a large wicker basket in one of the wagons. ??? ::) ::) ;D ;)
When Stoney's clothes dried he took himself down from the clothes line. Satisfied that he will not need a bath now till spring he heads to the house. Feeling thin and not having had breakfast, he make a huge lunch of meat and spuds. When finished he grabs a bottle of Irish whiskey and heads for his chair on the porch.
Seein' the wagon's pull up and Del heading for them, Stoney awaits the next contraption that will spring from the mind of Del. ::)
<Author's Note: this is gen-you-wine period tech-oh-no-olagy. 2nd Lt. George A. Custer learnt about it in 1861. ;D ;D ;D ;D>
;D I thinks I know what it is! ;D
<Arthur's note: It's a giant wolverine.> ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Nope, Slim don't think so. ??? They only has those over in that Michigan State! ;D heh hehe heh! Sorry :'( , I could not hold myself back. :D :D
I bet it is one of them observation ballons! 8) 8)
Delmonico attaches the oiled silk bag to the wicker basket. He then sets up the the wooden vat and pours in some irun fillin's. A barrel of sulpheric acid it pour on top and the lid closed. Soon the oxy-gin and the sulphur molly-cules combine with the irun molly-cules and releases the hi-dree-gin molly-cules which Delmonico pumps into his balloon. ;D ;D ;D
When it is full, he climbs into the basket and releases the ropes. "Up, up and away in my beutifull ball-loooooooooooooooon."
Irish wanders out to see what Del is up too! Now that hte house has dried out he can't fish in the parlor anymore. Irish sits down next to Stoney to see what happens next!
What the porch sitters did not notice is that just before the ball-loooon asent, Delmonico gets some Ferric sulphate out of the vat and puts in in Tom's Irish Whiskey, turning it green. ;D
<Authors Note, is is not pision's, it well help yer hemo-globin. ;D>
With a fair breeze blowin' from the west, Delmonico heads off to Dunning. ::) ::) ;D
"What in tarnation is he gonna do wit dat thang?" ??? ??? ??? ??? ???
Hey Stoney lookit, Del must be a magician he turnt mah whiskey the proper color fer an Irishman! ;D
;D ;D ;D
"I told ya so! I told you so!" Shouts Brazos as he jumps around the yard as Del flys off in his balloon! Del takes a weighted bag and lets fly! >:( Brazos so busy jumpin' around don't look up, and spat! the bag hits him on the head and continues on down til poor Brazos ain't any taller than a quarter! :o :o
Brazos can only whisper "ow, that sure ruins my day!" He kinda crab walks over to the porch. (Author's note: This particular little move takes him the rest of the afternoon) :'(
Long after dark Delmonico comes up with the ball-looon and basket in a wagon with a driver, Dunning Livery Stable painted on the side. The unload the ball-loooon and Delmonico pays the driver.
"Dern it, made it all the way to Dunning and landed safley. Then I couldn't get home a cause we almost never have an east wind out here." ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Delmonico notices Stoney Pete and Irish Tom do not look so pale and anemic, ::) they can't walk and slur their words, but don't look as peaked. ;D
Irish manages to prop one eye open at Del's approach. Del thass sum nicesh schtuff ya put in tha lic ... uh lack.... uh wishkey.
It's morning and Stoney has slept in the chair again. "Starting to wonder why I even have a bed.", he mutters.
Slowly getting up, he tests each leg for viability and stability. He's got a bad taste in his mouth and feels like he wants to shave his tounge. "Too much whisky.", he whispers to no-one in particular.
Yesterdays coffee was still on the stove. Thanks to evaporation it was stronger than usual. :o Fully awake now, he makes fresh coffee. Checking the ice box, he pulls out bacon, sausage, some steaks that Brazos had brought and eggs. No buscuits this moring. Don't have the energy.
Within 30 min he was back on the porch with coffee and a plate full of cholesterol. ;D
Delmonico goes out to the porch, looks at Stoney and heads back inside. ::)
In a few minutes hes back with his apron, hot water, razor, strop and brush and soap. ;D
"Here Stoney, breakfast will taste better after I shave yer tongue and ya rinse and spit." :D :D
Slim goes into the kitchen and gets coffee and grub. He goes out to the porch. There in front of the whole wide outdoors is Del shaving Stoney's tongue. :o :o :o :o :o :o :o Slim's jaw hits the porch. He slams it shut so Del would shave his tongue, too. He takes a seat and watches the scene in astonishment.
Delmonico hands Stoney a glass of water, "rinse and spit please."
<Arthur's note: Stoney's readin' his book and missin' this. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D>
<Author's Note: Perhaps it's lucky he was, if he'd a known he'd a screamed and hollored and got hurt. ::)>
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on September 29, 2005, 11:14:27 AM
<Arthur's note: Stoney's readin' his book and missin' this. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D>
<Arthur's note too: Maybe it's for the best. ::) >
Edit: Delmonico beat me to it. Great minds think alike. ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on September 29, 2005, 11:20:51 AM
<Author's Note: Perhaps it's lucky he was, if he'd a known he'd a screamed and hollored and got hurt. ::)>
<Arthur's note: And, ya might've cut off his tongue. ;D ;D ;D ;D>
<Authors Note: It don't matter as long as I don't cut off 'the finger' he uses to type with. ;D>
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
<be careful his lite is on.>
<Arthur's note: I was hoping to rattle his cage. ;D>
<use a small board like they do on cartoons>
<Friends...I have a host of friends.>
Feeling better with his tounge shaved, Stoney rinses and spits as instructed. "Thank you Del.", he said. Continuing with his meal Stoney planed his next move.
Slim starts eating making sure he says nothing about a bad taste in his mouth. :o
Irish wakes up wondering why someone sandpapered his eyballs! He gets some coffee and grub and wanders onto the porch as Del is finishing shaving Stoney's tongue. Irish decides to sit behind Slim in case Del asks who's next? Irish is amazed by the amount of hair that Del has scraped off Stoney, there's almost enough to make a pair of itchy mittens!
There is a loud Spoing heard under the porch, then a thud and the porch shakes. Brazos crawls out from under he porch rubbing his head. "Finally thought to put my thumb in my mouth and blow myself back up" (there are advantages to bein' a toon) Brazos says with a smile. "hey its breakfast time!" Braozos pulls his fork and plate from his front pocket and heads for the kitchen. He also pulls a new hat from his other pocket and puts it gingerly on his head. Authors note: Big pockets you remember). "Got to remember to do that trick after I crawl out from under the porch"
Un knowing to Brazos...litl' rooster has snuck in and replaced the steaks Stoney cooked with the 3 day old Mutton he thought he swapped my cattle crew.....Being part bird (we are toons here) I fly up on the weather vane and watch him eat.....Did I happen to taste any of Irish' green whisky? I swear I seen the Wizard of Ouzo, headind back to Kansas yesterday.
Suddenly, from his hammock, Trinity jolts awake and looks around. Not believing what he's seeing, he looks at his jug, then throws it in the yard and rolls over. "Nonna this stuff is rail! Ah'm gonna slaip this off, Ahhhh'm gonna slaip this off!!!"
As Trinty sleeps, a skink comes up into the hammock and crawls into Trinity's ear, he looks around, likes what he sees and goes and gets his wife and 3 kids and they move in. ;D
<<Arthors note: Oh no! Not the skinks again!!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D Now I've got to go back to re-read what we did with them last time ;)>>
Trinity looks up, thinking he hears something, but seeing that everyone is still a toon, he closes his eyes tight and pulls his pillow over his head.
Feeling an itch, Trinity sticks his finger in his ear and wiggles it. Wiping his finger on his shirt, he leaves a waxy yellow stain mixed with blood. I think he took out Elmer, the skinks youngest son.
<Authors Note: The FFg opened her window and they jumped out and died in a pile under her window.>
As Trinity sleeps the Ittsy Bittsy Spider goes in his ear several times and carries a silk wrapped skink to the top of the porch. ;D
<Did you really talk about me this weekend and was it all bad?>
Howdy!
I live down the road. Can you tell me if'n this is one of your cows on my roof?
(http://sprout.site.ne.jp/photo/archives/images/cow.jpg)
If so, could one of you please come fetch her?
>:( >:( >:( Pittuy, yuch, :o what is this stuff? ikky ikkiy ikkiy! :-X :-X :-X Brazos, knows he's been fleased! ::) He pulls his six shooter from his holster and lets fly with one of those dumb-dumb boolits from the toon movie! :o Does not hit the bird like thing on the weather vane, but sets the vane to spinning and throws that bird thing clean over the hill! ;D
Seeing the bird/man flying over the hill, Stoney grabs his shotgun and yells, "PULL.". Alas he was too late as it was outta sight afore he could get a bead.
Heading in the house he thows the mutton out into the yard. Even Duke and Daisy wouldn't eat it. :o
Fresh coffee, buscuit and gravy, eggs, bacon and sausage for breakfast. He takes his food out to the porch. At the first bite of food he still tastes soap.(http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/sad/17.gif)
Looking for Trinity's jug he finds it out in the middle of the yard. "How'd that get there?" ??? Lookin' at Trinity he notices that he's moved and has a fresh yellow smudge on his shirt. Fetchin' the jug Pete's glad the stopper is still in place. (http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/food/23.gif) "There, no more soap."
Stoney heads to the porch to enjoy his (http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/food/22.gif) and (http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/food/59.gif)
<Authors Note: that would be Slim's milch cow, real cowboys don't herd Holsteins. They be milch cows not beef cows. Even though they get ground up right regular in to hamburger, that ain't real beef. Particle board ain't real lumber is it? Well then hamburger ain't real beef. ;D>
(Sorry folks, close but not a real rant, but I've got an idea>) ;D
Hey Del, aint it a city in Germany?
Quote from: Delmonico on September 30, 2005, 10:23:55 AM
<Authors Note: that would be Slim's milch cow, real cowboys don't herd Holsteins.
Slim,
Come git yer milch cow offa ma roof.
"Bessie, come down from that man's roof!" >:( >:( >:( >:(
And with milk streamin' out of all four teats, Bessie jumps into Slim's arms. ;D
(Hey Slim ya ever see a cow with only 3 spigots, my friend used to have one. I couldn't figger out why he had ping pong balls in the milkin' parlor ??? ::) ;))
<Arthur's note: To put in one of the milcher inserts ta get suction. ;D>
Slim gets out from under Bessie and blows on his thumb. He blows himself back up to "normal" size. He takes Bessie into the barn and milches her. Puts the milch in the icebox, goes to his room, grabs the Mighty Ten and war bags. He saddles his horse, starts riding northeast, and says, "See y'all on Monday."
Irish sees Slim's thumb trick and decides to try it! Sure enough Irish gets bigger and bigger, next thing he knows he's floating over the house, and can see Slim riding off in the distance. Not knowing what to do next he pulls his thumb out of his mouth, there is a sudden rush of air and before he knows what's happened he spends the next thirty minutes flying around the countryside! He lands in the front yard with a thud, right next to Trinity in the hammock.
Looking over he see's Stoney with his Shotgun in hand.
"I thought you wuz another of them flyin' plates. Or maybe the birdman that I did not git yesterday. I guess this calls for a drink." :D ;D
With the breeze from the south, Delmonico fills up his ball-loon and heads off to the north, shotgun in hand. ??? ??? ??? ::) ::) ;)
Quote from: Delmonico on October 01, 2005, 11:18:11 AM
With the breeze from the south, Delmonico fills up his ball-loon and heads off to the north, shotgun in hand. ??? ??? ??? ::) ::) ;)
<Going hunting? ;D>
As Delmonico goes along in his ball-loon he finds flocks of geese flyin' south. ;D As he gets them he lowers the Yaller dog on a rope to ree-treve them. ;D :o ;)
Stoney looks in the sky and see's what appears to be a dog on a line from the Balloon. "Wonder what kinda beast Del is fishin' fer using a dog as bait."
Along in the afternoon the wind shifts to the North and takes Delmonico back to the ranch as the temp drops a bit. By the time he gets the Ball-loon down and secure it is snowing lightly, but picking up as the temp drops. ::) ::)
Delmonico is covered with snow as he enters the house. By now it has turned into a roarin' blizzard. ;D
Delmonioc looks outside as he starts supper and wonders if the snow covered lumps in the hammocks are going to be smart enough to come in. ::) ::) ;D
Seeing Del come in and start supper Stoney decides to avoid the snow and eat. "So, what kind of beast did that dog on the fishing line catch?"
Feeling a bit concerned, Stoney grabs a blanket from Trinity's room and covers him up. "Toon or not, blue is not Trinity's color." ;D
The wind blows harder as the snow piles up in large drifts. It is up to the windows in the kitchen. :o
Delmonico finishes up with supper, Trinity has came inside, Delmonico has opened up a can of blue berries and made a pie to celebrate Trinity's new color. ;D ;D
Even The Ittsy Bittsy Spider has moved into the house and has spun a web behind the cookstove. ;)
Meanwhile at his nearby farm, SodBuster sees the snow and thinks it is coming a bit early this year. He notices the squirrels scurrying around gathering nuts for the winter. SodBuster has shivered through the frigid northern winter before and starts gathering buffalo chips for fuel, to ward off the frostbite.
From inside the house, Trinity peeks outside the window and notices the goats in the yard that Stoney had thrown out. He rushes out there to grab them and rushes back in. With a wide grin, Trinity proclaims: "Dail! We's gonna have us mutton tonight, just lahk back home!!"
Just then Sheep staggers in with a worried look on his face. Trinity looks at him and says: "Naww. Not talking about you! Hey, how did ya git drunk already?!? You din't drank none of that bad hal-lucinatin' brew that Ah threw out in the yard, didja?"
Delmonico reads Sod Busters post and realizes not why there are only hin, Stoney and Trinity, Duke and The Ittsy bittsy Spider at home, the squirrels have gathered the rest of the folks and stored them for winter. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :D :D ;)
He also has noticed the word "Farm" which means their is some sort of nester out their, but the early snow has most likely ruined his corn crop, a common problem in the Sandhills before modern hybrids. ;D ;D ;D He also figgers this Sod Buster is livin' in some dugout, kind of like a prairie dog, livin' in some hole in the ground. ;D
No need to fear the "Enforcer" will be back on Monday with his mighty 10 and cheese, if Slim don't shoot him, he'll plug him up. ;D
Delmonico also notices the snow is drifted past the center of the windows, if it don't stop, slim will get lost and freeze his cheese off. ;D
:o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o
Brazos looks at the blue guy, at Del watchin' the snow pile up to the top of the window's. he grabs some of the FFG's pixy dust, sprinkles it over his head, and exclaims " Hells bells, if it's gonna snow this early, I am heading to Malibu to be a rhinetsone cowboy!"
Spoing he is gone!
About the time the snow reaches the top of the window, Delmonico notices it stoppin' and the wind dieing down. ;D ;D A slight breeze from the south is coming, Delmonico goes to the porch and sees the temp is risin' a bit.
He goes in and tells Trinity and Stoney, "Most likely will all melt afore mornin' nice thing is if you don't like the weather in Newbrasky, just wait, it will change soon. ;D ;D ;D
Trinity and Sheep watch Brazos disappear. They stare at each other and Trinity says: "The whole darned batch must be tainted! Oh wail... no point in lettin' it go to waste. Cheers!!!"
Delmonico looks around and decides the squirrels ain't been that busy. ;D
"Squirrels? Why yes please. Ah could go fer an appetizer." ;D ;D ;D
suddenly the door blows open and 2 squirrels come in the door. they run up Trinity's pants legs, one left, one right. As Trinity is thrashin' around on the floor one squirrel says to the other one,
"lets eat........................................................!"
< Authors Note: I 'polize for even thinkin' about doin' this really old and really bad gag. If I really was to do it I would expect the moderator of this forum to ride in and shoot me in the Arse with rock salt on Monday mornin'!) ;D
Trinity runs around in circles until he drops his pants and removes the squirrels before they can do too much harm. He throws them down as they scurry away, they are followed by a barking and yet fatter Claire.
Claire's barking brought in the FFG who noticed Trinity's pants around his legs and a reddening in his groin. She briskly whaps him with his own hat and leaves.
Quote from: Sod Buster on September 29, 2005, 10:44:41 PM
Howdy!
I live down the road. Can you tell me if'n this is one of your cows on my roof?
(http://sprout.site.ne.jp/photo/archives/images/cow.jpg)
If so, could one of you please come fetch her?
after careful inspection there is no Rocker hangin R brand on it and appears to be the milkin' type I can swear it aint mine... It's hard to milk them things Horseback.
the chinook winds have thawed the litl rooster's wings...he shakes them free of ice and flutters back to his horse....(Deicing)> I should coin that one< tHEN flys off to tend his herds.
With morning comes a new day. The snow has melted and Stoney makes coffee, bacon and eggs, buscuits and gravey, and some sausage. The moring is brisk yet no need for a coat.
Stoney resumes his chair sittin and watches the sun rise.
<Author's Note: The sun is not coming up, the horizion is moving down. ;D ;D ;D>
:o :o :o :o :There is a flash and a SPOING!!!! and Brazos appears out of a cloud of smoke! :o "Geehosifat! You know that Californy is on fire! :o 'Bout got my talefeathers burned off when I appeared in the hills out there!" ::) Braozs is covered with twigs and asches. "What I smell sausage! ;D Must be time for breakfast. His ever present fork is quickly in hand and a plate full of bacon, sausage, and eggs is in his other hand. He proceeds out to the porch to watch the sun rise (or the earth sink) with Stoney. 8)
Quote from: Delmonico on October 02, 2005, 10:49:41 AM
<Author's Note: The sun is not coming up, the horizion is moving down. ;D ;D ;D>
<Perspective man. It's all about perspective.>
??? ??? ??? ??? (Perspective man, is he related to that Authur Note fella?) ;D ;D
Quote from: Brazos Bucky Smith on October 02, 2005, 03:40:55 PM
??? ??? ??? ??? (Perspective man, is he related to that Authur Note fella?) ;D ;D
not sure if he is or not......but you can count on it if he is in here he's a BOZO
Trinity gets off of the floor and nudges Sheep to see if he's still alive. Sheep breathes in heavily, but does not wake. Trinity then goes to the stove where he sees his favorites: Bacon, Sausage and Eggs. He takes both skillets with him outside and hunkers down in the rocker next to Stoney and Brrazos and begins to eat.
Quote from: litl rooster on October 02, 2005, 05:32:33 PM
Quote from: Brazos Bucky Smith on October 02, 2005, 03:40:55 PM
??? ??? ??? ??? (Perspective man, is he related to that Authur Note fella?) ;D ;D
not sure if he is or not......but you can count on it if he is in here he's a BOZO
Arthur's note: Just why are you calling aunt Perspective a Bozo? ??? ::) ;D
Smelling eggs, bacon, and sausage, Irish awakes to find himself stuffed in a tree. Around him are hundreds of nuts and a pair of sleeping squirrels. Following his nose he quietly slides out of the tree and discovers he's thirty feet up! Quickly blowing himself up he bounces when he hits the ground, about ten minutes later he has lost momentum and rolls to a stop. He grabs some supplies out of his wagon and heads to the kitchen. Once he has prepared more food he joins the others on the porch. As he walks past Brazos some funny colored dust drifts off of him and when it touches the pan two sausage disappear.
This moring, Stoney did not make breakfast. He ate enough yesterday to last him for the morning. He did put on coffee. When it was done he goes back to his rocker on the porch.
Slim rides into the yard. "Morning y'all." He waves at the Bozos assembled on the porch. He mumbles to himself, "Looks like a clown convention." ;D ;D ;D He puts his horse away, takes his saddlebags and Mighty Ten into the house. He puts the cheese in the icebox. He gets some coffee and takes a seat on the porch.
As Slim sits down there is a loud honk. Quickly getting up he turns around and looks, sure enough some Bozo has left a large red bulbous nose on his chair. None of the assembled Bozos lay claim to it!
"The ranch is turning into a circus." :D ;D
Delmonico grabs the nose and squeeze's the wheeze. A flock of Canada Geese lands in the door yard. ;D ;D ;D He hands the Bozo nose to Slim. ;D ;D
Slim runs to the kitchen to get the "Mighty Ten". ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Delmonico watches Slim ground shoot the flock. :o :o :o
"Hey Slim, It won't be long now and your goose will be cooked." ;D
Delmonico tells Slim, "you shot 'em you clean 'em and I'll cook 'em. Roast goose em em." ;D
Well, that is one way to get the flock out of here! :D :D :D :D Brazos waits with his trusty fork to have a good portion of the Roasted Goose's! ;D
Well git on out thar and git yer goose, Slim! Time's a wastin an ya got a crowd a hungry folks on the porch. Ya kin even surprise tha FFG by givin er a goose! :o
With a long suffering sigh and a shake of her head, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother puts on one of her older dresses and covers it with a full length apron. Stopping in the kitchen for a sack and one of the sharper knives, she comes out on the porch to survey the carnage.
"I need new down for some pillows, and if anyone even thinks about goosing me," this said with a sidelong look to Irish Tom, "remember I have a sharp knife in my hand."
That said, she steps down from the porch to start gathering geese.
<Arthur's note: I would never ground swat a goose, but a crow I would. ;D I don't eat crow. >:()
Slim puts the Mighty Ten on the porch and walks to the carnage to dress the geese. "Y'all think a purple calico dress would look nice on this one." Slim holds up a dead goose. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
No, but maybe a little green grass skirt and some little female klingy things borrowed from lil rooster on another thread would look OK? ;D ;D
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on October 04, 2005, 09:25:53 AM
<Arthur's note: I would never ground swat a goose, but a crow I would. ;D I don't eat crow. >:()
Slim puts the Mighty Ten on the porch and walks to the carnage to dress the geese. "Y'all think a purple calico dress would look nice on this one." Slim holds up a dead goose. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gives a horrified look at Slim for thinking of turning a dead goose into Mother Goose. "What would all the Slimettes say?"
Then she pauses in thought. "You know, once upon a time I sewed a stuffed Mother Goose for one of my relative's newborn child. Dang, that was a looooooong time ago."
Slim why don't you dress them up like a chorus line? ;D
"If I'da known it wuz gonna take all day for dem gooses to git cooked I'da made something to tide us over.";D Suddenly remembering the FFG has a knife, :o Stoney adds, ;) ::) "I'll go make some coffee."
Trinity wakes from his deam about Geese to see Lucky Irish Tom holding up two dead geese and making them dance. Rubbing his eyes, he looks over at stoneypete and begins to turn away but takes a double take at stoneypete. "You look differ'nt!!!"
He turns his attention back to Lucky Irish Tom making the geese dance while humming show tunes. There's a crowd gathered around him this time and it seems that everyone is enjoying the show. Then he notices the FFG sitting in her rocker sewing a small dress from purple calico.
With that Trinity struggles out of the hammock, picks up his jug and walks into the house, shaking his head and muttering.
:-\ :-\ :-\ :-\ :-\ This "dressing" the dead geese has just about run it's course, :D I say we get to cookin't these dead birds before they start to smell bad! :P Has anybody stated the oven? :o Or is Del going to BBQ them? :)
Whisper mode (Maybe he will come up with some idea to quick cook 'um so's we can eat real soon!) ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Brazos Bucky Smith on October 04, 2005, 09:52:20 PM
Has anybody stated the oven? :o Or is Del going to BBQ them? :)
I got some spare buffalo chips if you need some fuel to cook with.
Havin' got tired of children who play with their food, Delmonico gets some pastrami and Swiss Cheese and makes a samwhich. ::) (On Sourdough)
He writes a note to Slim to check up on that guy who is turnin' the grass upside down and perhaps Slim can cut his fence and slip some cattle in to eat his corn. ;D
Irish Tom does the big finish to his show and the geese are tossed in the oven. Then he busy's himself helping some of the other prepare side dishes to go with their goose dinner. Further inspection reveals that the calico dress the Frumpy Fairy Godmother is making is about Slim's size! :o
Glad to have joined Del in having samiches last night. Stoney wakes to the smell of cooked goose. Or should I say cooking goose.
"Finally. Well that won't be done for breakfast so I'll cook eggs, buscuits and gravy, with bacon on the side." Stoney get the coffee brewed then takes his food and coffee to, you guessed it, the rocker on the porch to watch the sun come up.
Irish whispers to Del, I think the aliens have got Stoney, he don't look hisself!
<Authors note: They ain't got him, it's too much whiskey's done it. The al-ee-inn's take you, probe you in places you never want to be probed, they bring you back wearin' a night shirt that ties in the back. ;D I know, they got me three times and I'm scarred for life from the experince.> ::)
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on October 05, 2005, 04:54:46 AM
...Further inspection reveals that the calico dress the Frumpy Fairy Godmother is making is about Slim's size! :o
:o :o :o :o :o :o
Slim goes to the kitchen, gets coffee and grub, and takes a seat on the porch. "Morning, Stoney. Nice sunrise this morning."
Delmonico sees Slim and tells him, "The be rumors there is a nester down in Custer County on Clear Creek, go see what ya can do afore he turns all the pasture upside down and plants it to corn" ;D ;D
"Oh and don't tell Trinity about him or he'll be down there stillin' it up and that nster will never leave."
Irish gets a cup of coffee and goes out on the porch and stares at the strange lookin bozo that claims to be Stoney Pete! :-\
When Slim is done with breaking the fast. He milches the cow and gathers eggs. He, then, goes to the barn, saddles his horse, and stuff a wire cutter in his coat pocket. He rides toward Clear Creek.
Not having left the ranch in months, Stoney saddles his horse and heads out with Slim. He bring only his sxs and leaves the six guns behind.
Trinity sits on the porch happily munching on some goodies he found in a bag. "What kahnd of chips didja say these were, Sod Buster? *Crunch* They's good!"
With a worried look on his face he asks: "Did Ah hair someone say somethin' bout Korn?"
While tending his garden at his shack, Sod Buster sees company arriving on the horizon. He gets excited as he hasn't has company in months. Out comes the coffee, beans, and the sack of candy he has been saving since last Christmas.
Quote from: Trinity on October 05, 2005, 09:10:53 PM
Trinity sits on the porch happily munching on some goodies he found in a bag. "What kahnd of chips didja say these were, Sod Buster? *Crunch* They's good!"
Um....dried Buffalo Dung. Does it taste good? For fun you can fling them like Del's frisbees. But they have a more practical use - fuel for burning. They are more plentiful than firewood out here on the prarie, burn surprisingly well and produced an odor-free flame. I've never tried eating them though. I would suggest taking a good long tug on your jug to get an extra kick.
I have read that eating them could lead to heartburn, since they could be mistaken for chipped beef which is an item the military considers eatable and serves on toast with some gooy glop flopped on top. They call this indigestible delicacy SOS ('S' on a Shingle—the shingle being the toast).
QuoteWith a worried look on his face he asks: "Did Ah hair someone say somethin' bout Korn?"
Yup...got some corn over at my place. Wanna set up a still?
Irish looks over a Trinity jjust munching away on the bag of chips from Sodbuster. Every so often he stops and takes a pull from a jug. Irish decides to move to the other end of the porch before Trinity decides to light a ceegar or something. Trinity seems perfectly content with his new found snack!
Delmoico comes into the greasy kitchen, grumbling he cleans up the mess the heathens left from their goose cookin'. ::) ::) ::) He then goes into the cellar and starts bringing up the cucumbers he picked before the snow storm. ;) He goes to the pantry and gather vinegar, salt spices and jars and gets to work making sweet, dill and bread and butter pickles. ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother stands beside Delmonico, quietly helping him with the pickling.
"I've some beets, too. Been a while since I had pickled beets."
There is a small pause, then she looks at him.
"Delmonico, why aren't salt water fish pickled when you catch them?"
<---takes a puzzled look around.
Damn, Toto. This ain't Kansas.
Aunty Em?
Slim and Stoney come back from Clear Creek. "Aunty Em ain't here, stranger, but Delmonico is." ;D ;D ;D ;D With that said, Slim gets the "Mighty Ten" and climbs back in the saddle. "See y'all on Monday, I'z off to a Fandango on the Great River." He spurs his horse and heads northeast.
Tom sees a familiar looking toon pop up in the yard, he says something Tom doesn't quite catch and as Slim rides by he replies to the stranger. Before Tom can call out his name Arcey clicks his ruby cowboy boots together three times and goes "poof". Tom thinks to himself, "Dang I didn't know Arcey could count that high!"
Delmonico says, "Salt water fish have a tough hide and the salt water won't pen-ee-trate." ;D
"Thanks I'll do beets also, gots a recipe I got from my Great-Aunt May." :'( :)
He looks around and asks in a loud voice, "Every one does like pickles don't they?" >:( >:( :o ::) ;)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother raises a hand.
"I like pickles!"
Seeing a motion outside, she turns and looks out the window.
"Slim left early and I didn't get to say good bye!"
She sniffles sadly, then goes back to slicing cucumbers.
Delmonico says, "Slim left in a hurry this week and a day early, ya 'spose that nester done took a pot shot at him. :o As Delmonico carries the last jar of picles to the cellar he tells the FFg, "I'm going to make a trip off to the north tommorow. There is a creek up there I want to explore, Slim got the ridge-pole for the dugout up there, but I heard some rumors when I was out riddin' the train that time. I just want to check the out.." ??? ;D ;)
Delmonico goes to his office and checks out some maps on his coal oil computor. He prints them out and rolls them up. ::)
Back out in the kitchen he tells the FFg, "fact is there is several creeks I want to check out up there, they all run into the Ni-o-bra-a river, some strange rumor 'bout that area." ??? ;D :D ;) He then goes to packin' some grub and a small dutch oven. ;D ;D
Seeing the two riders turn around and leave, the Sodbuster puts away the grub he was gonna offer to them. They sure did an about-face and gallop off in a hurry. Ya don't suppose they thought he was shootin' at them do ya? There was a family of prairie rattlesnakes in the woodpile that needed killin'. It is odd that the snakes are still around in the colder months but since the woodpile is next to the shack, perhaps it was warm enough.
It sure gets lonely out here....perhaps they will come back (not the snakes - the fellas).. Perhaps that Trinity fella will come by so we can make some corn squeezins. Perhaps I should wander on over to that big Ranch House and see what is happening over there. Perhaps I should build a snake-proof fence to keep out unwanted slithery guests.
Oh well...I guess I should hunt for more buffalo chips. That Trinity fella sure likes 'em for some reason. I wonder if he is a cosie?
Delmonico writes Slim a note: "goin north to check out a rumor, might not be back on monday. did you get the nester chased out? if not why not? how can ya be the foreman on a ranch if ya can't chase out a durned nester? "
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Delmonico packs his gear in the buggy, includin' his Sharps 50-90, his 8 gauge shot gun, his 1876 Winchester in 50-100, 2 Colts 45's, and an 1873 Winchester in 32-20 fer pottin' meat. He adds plenty of ammo, the dutch oven and the food, bedding and warm clothin'. Seeing the back of the buggy is saggin' he gets out a pump and puts air in the shocks. ;D He then takes an extra spare wheel so he has two. He adds grain for the mules, his wireless lap top, his tent, a chamber pot and the shocks break on the buggy. ;D Loading the wagon instead he adds more grain for the extra pair of mules now needed, his maps, a compass and a ax. ;D
He will head out at dawn.
Slim is gone and Del has the wagon ready to go. Stoney makes coffee, eggs, bacon, sausage, and blueberry muffins. Taking his meal out to his rocker, he sits to watch the sun rise.
Delmonico wakes uplooks at the light, looks at his "Regulator" sees what time it is and says, "It's Dawn Somewhere" ;D and gets dressed and makes him breakfast. ;D
He cleans up the mess and heads out to the barn, hitches the mules and heads north accross the Dismal. ::)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother runs out on the porch in her nightgown!
"Hey!! He's taking the wagon and he broke the buggy!! Dang it, Delmonico, you've left me stranded!"
She shakes her fist after him, then takes out her wand and turns the mules and his hair colour to a bright orange.
Brazos looks down on the ranch from the hill above, sees Delmonico drvin' the wagon north. He is just about to turn away his mouse colored horse when out of the corner of his eye he sees Dels hair change :o color. " Boy, that FFG can reach Del almost at any distance!"
Brazos saddlebags have enough grub fer a few days and his trusty fork, ;D so he gives a little spur to the mouse colored horse. Ol' horse humps up, gives a little side kick with his hind leg and breaks into a lope off to the southwest. "Think I'll follow the sun fer awhile and see where it takes me." ;)
Irish awakes and starts to make breakfast. Then he hears the FFg yellin and hollerin about being stranded because of Del. He walks out on the porch intime to see Del's mules and his hair turn orange he thinks to himself I'd better not drink any more of Trinity's Shine. Irish then turns to the FFg and says Ma'm ya aint stranded ya kin use my wagon and team of Percherons. Then he tips his hat to the FFg, at the last moment, he thinks about Del and he puts his hand over his hair.
There is a note on a pumpkin in the kitchen that says, "There are three mice in a cage in the barn, that way you can have two horses and a driver for you." ::) ::) ::) ;)
While the FFg is fumin' over the pumpkin and the mice, Herb's Buggy and Wagon Repair quietly comes into the yard, goes to the barn and fixes the shocks on the buggy. ;D
If the FFg would have looked out the window as he left with his wagon she would have seen on the tailgate: www.buggyrepair.com ;D ;D ;D ;D
Mean while about dark Delmonico has crossed the lake country, by-passed the marshes and has arrived at the head of Long Pine Creek where he sets up camp and cooks a Prarie Chicken he shot on the way in. ;)
Quote from: Sod Buster on October 06, 2005, 12:02:54 AM
Quote from: Trinity on October 05, 2005, 09:10:53 PM
Trinity sits on the porch happily munching on some goodies he found in a bag. "What kahnd of chips didja say these were, Sod Buster? *Crunch* They's good!"
Um....dried Buffalo Dung. Does it taste good? For fun you can fling them like Del's frisbees. But they have a more practical use - fuel for burning. They are more plentiful than firewood out here on the prarie, burn surprisingly well and produced an odor-free flame. I've never tried eating them though. I would suggest taking a good long tug on your jug to get an extra kick.
I have read that eating them could lead to heartburn, since they could be mistaken for chipped beef which is an item the military considers eatable and serves on toast with some gooy glop flopped on top. They call this indigestible delicacy SOS ('S' on a Shingle—the shingle being the toast).
QuoteWith a worried look on his face he asks: "Did Ah hair someone say somethin' bout Korn?"
Yup...got some corn over at my place. Wanna set up a still?
"You lookin' fer me?" calls Trinity from the rafters. Ah done seen a snake an' thought it were best if'n Ah hid up hair. "Didja say somethin' 'bout SOS? Mah momma makes the best there be. Ah kin almost taste it now! That gooey glop is the best part, ya know. Too bad it don' 'gree with mah innards awll tha tahm!!"
Trinity looks over Sod Buster's corn and agrees that it is good corn, but mentions that he needs access to water and a good hiding place. He quickly explains how Delmonico is apt to taint the brew with his own favorite ingredient, Castor Oil!
Delmonico pickets the mules and cleans up the camp, drivin' a wagon on a three day trip in one day is hard on a fella, even if this is just low quality fiction. ;D He turns the lantern down on low and puts it on the wagon tongue and raises the tongue ip and ties it in place. (A cosie always does this on the prairie to guide in anyone who is lost. ;))
He then goes into his tent and crawls into his bedroll. :o
Two hours later Delmonico is awake and takin' a walk in the crisp fall night. The brisk walk makes him break out into a song:
I'm back from the shadows again,
Out where an Indian's your friend
Where the vegetables are green
and you can pee right into the stream
(And that's important)
I'm back from the shadows again.
::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)
On his way back to camp he trips over something and brings his lantern near, what he sees makes him glad he didn't see it on the way down to the creek or he'd a most likely had a accident. :o :o ::) ;)
Hurrying back to camp he grabs the Sharps and the ammo belt, he builds up the fire, lights the other lantern and makes a big pot of coffee, there is no sleeping now, the rumors are true, they are here. ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ???
Sittin' in the fire light gulping coffee to make sure he is awake, Delmonico gets his wireless lap top and types in: www.rigbyguns.com "Dear Sirs, send me, Delmonico, care of the No Name Ranch on the Dismal River, Newbrassky, one of you 8 gauge rifles for brass catridges, also send me 1000 rounds for it. Send it as soon as possible. Delmonico"
As the Screech Owl flies off, (pigeons don't work nights ;D) Delmonico adds a bit more of his precious wood to the fire and hopes morning comes soon, before they decide to come. :o :o :o :o
Meanwhile, back at the ranch...
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother oversees the repair of the buggy. While talking to the gents, they pretty much have her convinced to get a surrey with fringe on the top, and to make it a really frilly surrey so the boys won't be tempted to use it. She thanks them and pays them, and wanders back to the house, sighing over the pumpkin.
"Another fine mess Delmonico has gotten me into. Now I have mice to feed in addition to the dogs, The Cat, and Doris." She carries the pumpkin out on the porch and places it on a rail, then goes and gets the mice who give her a woeful "feed us please?" look. After feeding them, she takes the mice to Trinity's room where Daisy and Claire have made a messy nest of his bed. She doesn't worry much about The Cat, who has taken up residence on her window ledge.
The house is strangely quiet that evening, with all the folks scattered hither and yon. Not even the wall is talking to her this day. She makes a small supper for herself and eats it out on the porch.
As the evening progresses, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother continues to eye the pumpkin on the rail. After dark, she gets up, smiling and goes to the kitchen. She isn't gone long, and comes back with a sharp knife, a big spoon, some salt, and sheets of paper.
Taking the pumpkin down from the railing, she carefully cuts off the top and scoops out the gooey mess of seeds and gunk from the inside. The seeds she lays out on the paper, sprinkling them with some salt.
But she isn't done, yet. Her smile widens as she picks up the knife once more. In the morning, Frankenbird screams as he sees the apparition on the railing of the porch.
litl rooster rides up to the "Soddy" just in time to see Trinty clinging to the roof. Jumps off his sorrell horse Dos, and steps over 2 rattler's, extends his hand to Sod Buster. Tells Trinty to hang it up, I am not going to allow him any more water than already agreed upon. I begin to tell Sod Buster of a propositin. You see with the early snow and the slow moving trains, I now have to many cattle to move. I am prepared to offer you $3 a head, if you feed them your corn and pasture them on the fallow ground and water of course, for a period of 100 days. I also explain how if he does this properly of the values of the short grazed grass and manure, and issues of harvesting the Korn crop..If you are satisfied I will bring 1000 head in the first of the week, and we can re neogiate annually. So what do you say?
litl rooster now realizes that if he goes for this he will finally establish the first feedlot in Newbrassky and the Nesters will have a real market fer their Korn outside flakes in a box and squezzins.
Kickin' the 2 Rattler's out of his way he grabs the horn of his saddle and swings up in the seat. Loping his short horse in a small circle, and Tellin' Sod Buster I will be headin over to the Ranch with No Name for a day or so, let me know. Then Trots off...Mumbling to his self...I seen many keep a guard dog around even a noisy rooster but never snakes....
With full daylight Delmonico gets his shovel out but keeps his Sharps handy till the "Over Nite Pony Express Rider" shows up with his new Rigby. ;D
As the rider leaves he can see Delmonico dig two large long white objects out of the sand and load them in the wagon an cover it with the tarp. ;D
After a quick breakfast, Delmonico breaks camp and loads the wagon. ???
Quote from: Delmonico on October 08, 2005, 10:09:08 AM
With full daylight Delmonico gets his shovel out but keeps his Sharps handy till the "Over Nite Pony Express Rider" shows up with his new Rigby. ;D
As the rider leaves he can see Delmonico dig two large long white objects out of the sand and load them in the wagon an cover it with the tarp. ;D
After a quick breakfast, Delmonico breaks camp and loads the wagon. ???
Diny sore bones??? ??? ???
<Authors note: The only din-er-sour bones ever found in Nebrassky were in the extreme SE part. The rest was ocean then so they find them sea monster things and sharks. ;D ;D
The Sandhills is made of the beach sand that got blowed around after the the durn Rocky Mts. tilted the land and made all the sea water run down the Platte. :o :o :o>
Trying a different route home, Delmonico finds himself slightly lost out among the lakes and marshes. ;D
Trinity hops down from his perch and runs after litl rooster, peridically looking back to make sure the snakes weren't following him. When they arrive at the ranch, the first thing the two see is the glowing pumpkin on the porch railing.
Trinity passes out... next to his buddy, Frankenbird.
By dark Delmonico is still lost in the middle of the lakes and marshes, tryin' to find hard to find a way out with out gettin' the wagon stuck. He decides to stop and sets up camp, picketing the four mules all around the camp a ways out. He figgers if he is attacked they will bray and give warnin'. ;D
He builds a fire next to the wagon and has supper, keepin' his new Rigby double rifle close by. He looks under the tarp, shudders and leans against the rear wheel of the wagon, rifle across his knees. ::) In that position he dozes off to sleep.
Irish crawls out of the back of his wagon where he has ben sleeping of another drunken stupor. He wanders out of the barn and sees Trinity and Frankenbird lying on the ground. He wanders over and inspects them, they're both out cold. He turns to go into the house to make some coffee and beholds a ghastly orange apparition and promptly passes out next to the other two.
The next morning, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother steps out on the porch carrying a steaming cup of coffee. She sees the three prone bodies on the ground, tsks, and goes back inside. A moment later she reemerges, carrying a pail of water which she promptly empties onto the men and bird.
"Oh, get up! You're spoiling my view!"
Sleepin' lightly Delmonico makes it through the night with out being attacked. ;D At daylight he scans the horizon and see's nothing to worry about. He then hitches his mules and heads out to find his way out of this morass of lakes and marshes.. ($5 word ::))
Irish begins to cough and sputter as it feels like he is being drenched by a neverending flood
Delmonico finnally makes it out of the lakes and marshes but is to far west of the ranch. He makes it to the Middle Loup River and decides to stop in Thedford for the night. ;D
He gets a room at the Rodeway Inn for the night. ;D
<Authors note: Delmonico would have watered the drunks from the porch, but not with a bucket.>
Irish goes to the wagon gets a change of clothes and goes to the stove and make bacon, eggs, sausage an biscuits, then gets a cup of coffee and goes and sits in the rocker on the porch. He looks at the Del Jack O Lantern, shivering about how horrid it had looked the night before!
<Author's Note: - Remind me not to pass out when Del is around. ;D - >
Smelling breakfast cookin' Stoney get up from the porch. "Been strange goings on." he said, while staring at the Del'o'lantern and then at Tom who's shakin' in his chair.
"Am I invisible?" he asked Tom.
"No. Why?"
"I been sitting here all weekend and the FFG, you, trinity, little rooster, et all done walked passed me and not one even acknowledge my existance. ??? Now in the case of Del, that can be a good thing if'n he causing mischeif. ;)
"Probably since I don't move much I've become like a piece of furniture and no one takes notice of me."
Stoney get some grub and sit on the porch trying not to look at the carving.
Delmonico sleeps late cause he didn't get much sleep up north for fear of attack. ::) ??? :o ;D
He gets a late breakfast and goes the the General Store to pick up a few things, it's late afternoon afore he heads south to the ranch. He figgers he may have to camp again tonight. ;D
Coming back from the garden with a bucket full of new potatoes and a head of cabbage, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother pauses to give Stoney Pete's shoulder a squeeze and a wink to him and Irish Tom before she enters the kitchen.
Once inside she can be heard merrily humming to herself as she bustles around with a clatter of pots. Soon, the heavenly aroma of corned beef and cabbage wafts out of the kitchen.
Duke comes out of the kitchen, whinin', holdin' his nose with one paw. H lays down on the porch and covers it with both paws. :P :P :P Finally he gets up and heads north to look for Delmonico. ;D
<Authors note: If you really want to stink up a kitchen, fry the cabbage in a bit of bacon grease with some onion. Mighty fine, but it sometimes has a bit of an adverse effect on some. ::)>
Tom watches Duke trot off down the road whining. He looks at Stoney, "Dog doesn't know good Irish cooking when he smells it!" Tom inhales deeply and sighs thinking about the magical repast that the FFg is preparing.
<Author's Note: Corned Beef and Cabbage is to Irish coo-seeene as the for-tu-ne Cookie is to Chinese Cookin'. ;D Mutton and Cabbage more likely. ;D>
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on October 10, 2005, 04:33:14 PM
Tom watches Duke trot off down the road whining. He looks at Stoney, "Dog doesn't know good Irish cooking when he smells it!" Tom inhales deeply and sighs thinking about the magical repast that the FFg is preparing.
Duke is not an Irish Setter what did you expect?
Several hours after being doused with the water, Trinity finally awakens. "Wha? Who? What's goin' on hair! What happent to that evil glowin' thang?"
*Sniff* *Sniff* "Mmmmm, Ah smail corned beef!" With that, Trinity rushes into the kitchen, pausing to greet the Stoneypete statue on the porch.
Quote from: litl rooster on October 08, 2005, 08:06:35 AM
litl rooster rides up to the "Soddy" just in time to see Trinty clinging to the roof. Jumps off his sorrell horse Dos, and steps over 2 rattler's, extends his hand to Sod Buster. Tells Trinty to hang it up, I am not going to allow him any more water than already agreed upon. I begin to tell Sod Buster of a propositin. You see with the early snow and the slow moving trains, I now have to many cattle to move. I am prepared to offer you $3 a head, if you feed them your corn and pasture them on the fallow ground and water of course, for a period of 100 days. I also explain how if he does this properly of the values of the short grazed grass and manure, and issues of harvesting the Korn crop..If you are satisfied I will bring 1000 head in the first of the week, and we can re neogiate annually. So what do you say?
litl rooster now realizes that if he goes for this he will finally establish the first feedlot in Newbrassky and the Nesters will have a real market fer their Korn outside flakes in a box and squezzins.
Saturday night, Sod Buster discusses the proposition that the "Boss" named Litl Rooster made with his neighbors. Most all were against it as they felt they would loose control over their land and water. Sod Buster, being smarter than the rest, plays devil's advocate and argues the rancher's point of view and urges them to think about it. Money can be made and it is better to be friends with the cattlemen vs having your fences constantly cut and homes burned. He reminds them of stories they have heard about huge herds of cattle stampeding through gardens and even houses. He also reminded them that the local cattlemen could be thier friends and help protect them against "free rangers" .
On Sunday, the men met and discused this after church while the women sociallized and the children played. They voted against it and told Sod Buster that he was crazy to trust the cattlemen - he was being set up. Sod Buster didn't think so.
Sod Buster felt that Litl Rooster had a good, kind face and he trusted him. Sod Buster, being a good Christian, always believed in the Golden Rule and decided to put his trust in God that his impression of Litl Rooster was not wrong. He is going to do this on his own. He may alienate himself from his friends in the process but he is tired of living in the dirt with the vermin and insects constanty trying to take over his home. He decided that he would head out in a day or two to speak to Litl Rooster, if he doesn't come back to the Sod Buster's home first. But first he will rest. He is tired from arguing with his neighbors, fighting snakes and vermin, and trying to convince that weird man named Trinity from eating the Buffalo Chips.
Trinity found nobody in the kitchen but did find corned beef on the stove. As he was happily devouring the most tender beef brisket that he can remember having in a long time when suddenly he begins to think of Buffalo Chips.
Duke shows up in Delmonico's camp about dark and they have corned beef samwhices with no cabbage. (It's a good thing Duke don't like cabbage. ;D Dogs and cabbage are a dangerous mix.)
Delmonico is glad to see Duke, he can help guard against attack. ;D
Delmonico props the Rigby up against the wagon and Duke lays with one eye open. Delmonico says, "Keep and eye out Duke, tell me if you see any.................................
<Authors Note: sorry Delmonico fell asleep, but Duke will watch for anything strange. ;D>
Soon, Duke is snoring happily away, dreaming of what he's going to name his kids.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother catches Trinity pilfering their dinner and smacks his hands with a wooden spoon.
"Save some for the rest of us!"
Fortunately, she made plenty, so the household is soon stuffed with corned beef, cabbage and potatoes. Even Claire and Daisy ate their share, then pouted as they were sent out to the back porch for the evening.
With a full mouth, no, overstuffed mouth, Trinity looks up at the FFG, hurt. He mumbles something unintelligible but the FFG understands it to be: "But why?".
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on October 10, 2005, 04:33:14 PM
Tom watches Duke trot off down the road whining. He looks at Stoney, "Dog doesn't know good Irish cooking when he smells it!" Tom inhales deeply and sighs thinking about the magical repast that the FFg is preparing.
"Aye" Stoney also inhales. "Though I've never aquired a liking for cabbage, the corn beef is a meat strait from heaven." Stoney arrives in the kitchen in time to see the FFG hit Trinity on the hands. "Hey Tom, the FFG just saved our supper. Let's eat." "Thank you FFG. This is some right fine vittles you made here."
Stoney handed a bottle of Irish whiskey to Trinity. "This will make your hand feel better. It's got the same "medicinal qualities as your squeezins."
The next morning Stoney makes breakfast. He fries some of the corn beef in a pan and mixes it with scrambled eggs. Taking his plate and some fresh coffee to the porch, he sits upwind of Tom so the smell of corn beef will wake him from his slumber.
<Arthur's question: Is this the FFG? (http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a153/stoneypete/emoticons/fryingpan.gif) >
Quote from: stoneypete on October 11, 2005, 05:34:29 AM
<Arthur's question: Is this the FFG? (http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a153/stoneypete/emoticons/fryingpan.gif) >
<Author's note: Naw, she isn't all that into skillet thwapping. On the other hand, I am! I may have to swipe that one to put into my signature! :D A.L. >
After enjoying a traditional Irish meal that tasted like it was made by the angels themselves, Irish enjoyed a marvolous sleep with dreams of Ireland all night. In the morning the aroma from Stoney's plate makes him wake up craving Corned Beef Omelettes.
Slim rides in and puts his horse in the barn. He takes the saddlebags and "Mighty Ten" to the house. He opens the door and yells, "Is anyone here?" He puts the Wiscoooooooooooooooooooooonsin cheese in the icebox. He sees the note that Delmonico left for him.
Quote from: Delmonico on October 07, 2005, 12:20:20 AM
Delmonico writes Slim a note: "goin north to check out a rumor, might not be back on monday. did you get the nester chased out? if not why not? how can ya be the foreman on a ranch if ya can't chase out a durned nester? "
Slim reads the note and contemplates his course of action.
Irish hears Slim poking around in thekitchen and wanders in. "You brought fresh cheese Slim, want me ta fix ya a Corned Beef Omelette?"
"Thanks, Tom. That would be great. By the by, did someone gather eggs and milch the cow while I was gone?"
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on October 11, 2005, 01:36:01 PM
"Thanks, Tom. That would be great. By the by, did someone gather eggs and milch the cow while I was gone?"
That the eggs I'm eating now. Yer milch cow may need a good milkin' though. :o
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother glides in to give Slim a "welcome back" kiss on the cheek.
"Don't worry, I milched the cow, she's fine."
Delmonico and Duke ride into the valley of the Dismal, a cloud of cabbage gas hangs over it, leaving a bluish-orange color. ;D
He rides up to the house, and throws the tarp off the wagon, reviling 2 el-er-funk tusks, 15 feet long. ;D
He hollors at the house, "Hey, be careful when out ridin', the rumors are true, there are el-er-funks in Newbrasky.! I got us an el-er-funk gun to protect us." ;D ;D ;D
"Thank ya, ma'am."
"Well, good. Don't want eggs goin' ta waste. And, don't want Bessie gittin' mas-tite-us."
Slim peeks out the door. "Now I can made ivory stocks fer my pistol." ;D ;D ;D ;D
But Slim, these tusks means there is el-er-funks out here, what are we going to do? ??? ??? And they is huge by the size of the tusks. ::) ::) :o ;)
Can't the FFg use her flying plate gun ??? I forget what she call it.
litl' rooster leaves Slim a note...Note sez>>> Slim while you is cuttin' new pistol grips could I talk you in to making me a set?
Then saddles D.O.S. devils own son, and rides off to see if Sod Buster has made a decision, and leave him a good faith payment to get rolling.
Delmonico is gettin' upset that no one is worried b'bout el-er-funk attacks. "What are we gonna do if the el-er-funks attack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" :o :o
Quote from: litl rooster on October 11, 2005, 06:55:39 PM
litl' rooster leaves Slim a note...Note sez>>> Slim while you is cuttin' new pistol grips could I talk you in to making me a set?
Then saddles D.O.S. devils own son, and rides off to see if Sod Buster has made a decision, and leave him a good faith payment to get rolling.
<<and all this time the author was wondering why you never rode Uno! ;D ;D ;D>>
Quote from: AnnieLee on October 11, 2005, 06:49:09 AM
Quote from: stoneypete on October 11, 2005, 05:34:29 AM
<Arthur's question: Is this the FFG? (http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a153/stoneypete/emoticons/fryingpan.gif) >
<Author's note: Naw, she isn't all that into skillet thwapping. On the other hand, I am! I may have to swipe that one to put into my signature! :D A.L. >
<<I've got one that I'd like to add to mine, but sadly, it's not proper... ;D ;D ;D>>
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother steps out on the porch, wiping her hands on her apron. She stops, staring at the tusks.
"Holy tamoley Delmonico, did you shoot an elephant while you were away? You're lucky you didn't get trampled to death!"
"I went north up to Long Pine Creek lookin' and I found them, I heard rumors of them things bein' found up there from time to time, that means we could get attacked by el-er-funks.
Delmonico locks his tusks in his office to protect them from Slim and him and Duke take up a watch on the porch for an el-er-funk attack. ;D
<Authors Note: this makes sense, cause in case of an attack he will pile up Trinity, Stoney Pete and Lucky Irish Tom as a bar-acade. ;D>
authors note>>>>>If you look in the korn crib I left a 100 pound bag of peanuts....You know how them ellie fants like peanuts.
Quote from: Delmonico on October 11, 2005, 07:08:15 PM
Delmonico is gettin' upset that no one is worried b'bout el-er-funk attacks. "What are we gonna do if the el-er-funks attack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" :o :o
< Arthur's note: I ain't skeered of no oli-phant attack. I got me a can of Oli-phant repelent. Since I never been attacked by one I think this stuff works. ::) ;D >
Hearing that his body may be used as a barricade Stoney grabs his SxS then straps on his pistol belt. While up he get some more coffee and goes back to sitting on the porch wait for el e funk attacks so's he can prevent Del form touching him.
Del we need ta dig a big deep pit alla way around the property n put stakes in the bottom. We kin erect a retractable brige what we can pull back when tha el e funks attack! If we use tha peanuts as bait them el e funks'll fall inta tha pit and we won't have no problem!
<Arthur's note: Considering the ruckus, I'm glad Delmonico didn't find the skull of a very, very big cat with very, very big upper front teeth. ::) ;D >
Slim goes to his room and fills his saddle bags with 10 bore shells loaded with BIG bullets. He goes to the porch with the "Mighty Ten" in one hand and the saddle bags o'er his shoulder. "Anybody comin' with me to git this wild elly-fants 'fore they git us?"
We can carry extry ammo if we load up my wagon Slim! Irish gets his .45's his SxS and his Sharps! Lead on Slim, anybody else comin?
"Sounds good ta me, Tom. I'll tie my horse to the back of the wagon." Slim heads to the barn to saddle his horse and hitch up a team.
Delmonico says I'll stay here with the Rigby and guard the ranch. Becareful ya don't end up in a marsh. ;D Delmonico brings out some jars of pickles and puts them in the wagon. "You all like pickles don't you?" ;)
"Thanks, Del. I like pickles. We'll stay clear of the marsh."
The woman and children come out of their houses to cheer for the warriors as the go off to battle. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
As the "Warriors" leave and dissapear over the horizion. Delmonico goes to his office and prepares his pair of tusks for shipment to the head of the Pale-lee-on-tol-ah-gee Dept at the Unniiiveersty of Nebrassky in Lincoln. ;D ;D ;D
Cause there ain't been no elle-funks runnin' wild in Newbrasky for 10,000 years.
<Authors note: Delmonico put ice tea in their whiskey jugs and to boot, slipped Trinity in under the cover. ;D>
Russ T. comes ridin' through on his way East, and drops off a set of instructions on how to build an elle-funk trap: ::)
Dig a large deep pit.
Fill pit with ashes.
Sprinkle peas around the edge of the pit.
When the elle-funk comes to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole!!!! :o ::) ;D ;D ;D ;D
<Authors Note with appolgy to folks who are tired of seeing this in cook books.:
Elafunk Stew
Take 1 elleeephunk and cut into bite size pieces, also cut up 2 tons of veggie-balls, put in a large pot and boil for 4 days, serves 10,000.
One can add a couple of rabbits if desired, but some folks don't like hare in their stew. :P>
With the "rabble" gone and most likely lost by now in the lakes and marshes up northeast of the ranch, (they didn't download any maps) Delmonico gets the bag of peanuts at takes them to the pantry. He fills two bowls and places on on the FFg's rocker. Duke lies down in front of the porch and Delmonico shells and eats peanuts as he tries to bury the yaller dog in peanut shells. ;D
The wagon rolled on, Slim had spotted some large round depressions in tha ground that he thunk were el e funk tracks, based on a drawing from Del. Trinity woke up partway through the morning. Slim spyed some el e funk spoor which Trinity walked up to picked up, sniffed and then took a bite claiming it tasted like buffler chips. Irish and Slim just sorta rolled their eyes. Towards evening a rider approached and delivered a package to Irish, the wrapper said Acme on it. Inside was a map of the surrounding territory and a book, "How to track and hunt El E Funks" by Flathead Smith. As the sun set they made camp, Irish started the fire and put on a pot of beans, after they ate Slim set the watch for the night.
Stoney did not join the crew in search of the beasts. He's a tracker of men. As the evening wore on Del brought the tusks into his room and Stoney could hear him laughing.
"I think Del has sent the boys on a fools errand. At least Tom did not start diggin that ditch around the place." ::)
Soon it was morning and Del and Slim had been gone all night. Stoney made coffee for hisself and the FFG. Eggs, and bacon in moderation since Trinity had been placed on the wagon.
Taking breakfast to the porch Stoney resume his vigil in his rocker. Though convince the eli funks is a fantasy, Stoney keep his SxS close...just in case. ::)
Quote from: Delmonico on October 12, 2005, 12:18:57 PM
Delmonico says I'll stay here with the Rigby and guard the ranch. Becareful ya don't end up in a marsh. ;D Delmonico brings out some jars of pickles and puts them in the wagon. "You all like pickles don't you?" ;)
Fir some reason I see a Arlo Guthrie song coming on ;D ;D ;D
< Reader's note: In the unlikely case of Oli-phant attack Stoney might consider tossing the scatter gun and getting himself a .45-70, preferably a repeater, with very heavy and very very hard bullets. ::) . Or, get one of those double rifles in banana size caliber, like Delmonico did ;D >
Delmonico returns after shipping his tusks. He just sits back on the porch and continues to eat peanuts and cover Duke with shells. ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on October 13, 2005, 11:05:16 AM
Delmonico returns after shipping his tusks.
<Arthur's note: Dang! No ivory grips.>
Slim wakes with a start. He was havin' nightmares of charging elly-fants. The sun is waxing. He stirs up the coals and puts some buffalo chips on them. He gets coffee and breakfast started.
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on October 13, 2005, 11:17:02 AM
Quote from: Delmonico on October 13, 2005, 11:05:16 AM
Delmonico returns after shipping his tusks.
<Arthur's note: Dang! No ivory grips.>
<Arthur's note: He sure knows how to take the fun outta it. ::))
Brazos comes ridin' out of the sun (like that man with no name guy, you know with the weird music playin). ;) Sees the campfire smoke and sees ol' Slim rubbin' his eyes. "Hey Slim what ya doin out here on the plain? With that ol' 10 in you hands you look like a man on a wild goose chase! :D ya got anything for breakfast?" ;D
"Well, howdy Brazos. We'z on a wild elly-fant hunt. Del brought in this set of elly-fant tusks and was asceered of elly-fant attack, so we'z out here ta git 'em 'fore they attack. I'z got coffee and bacon and beans. Hep yerself. Ya wanna join our huntin' party?"
"Well, don't mind if I do!" ;D Brazos, moves his multi colored sir-ap-he, and pulls out a 45-70 long rifle with an equally long scope on it! "Just happen to have this along with some dumb dumb bullits from that other toon movie" ;D "We should be able to get us one of those big fellas with one of these. ;D That is if they don't come to a screeeeeeechin' halt and fly the other way ifin' they see 'um first!" ;D Brazos puts the long gun back and grabs his plate and fork and heads fer the fire.
With Duke covered with shells, Delmonico wishes he'd a kept Trinity and then he could have covered him also. ;D
He also wishes he still had Mannheim, a goober-butter with honey samwhich would be right fine. ;D
The thought of honey reminds him they is about out and it's fall, 'bout time to send Slim to find a bee tree and rob it, if he ever gets back. ;D
<Arthur's note: Where ya gonna find a bee (http://tree) in treeless Newbrasssssssssssssky?> ::)
<Author's Note: down in onna da tree's along the river Slim. ;D bout 75 feet up in a hollow cottonwood, ya ain't skeered are ya? ;D We do have a state tree, the cottonwood. ;D>
Delmonico gets to thinkin' if slim don't get back there will be no hunny cause Slim is the only one (whisper on: dumb enough whisper off) brave enough ;D to rob a bee tree 75 feet up in a rotted out cottonwood. ;D
Knowin' how slim gets lost, Delmonico hopes he took his wireless laptop with him. So Delmonico fires up the coal oil pewter and sents a message. to
www.silvercreekslim@bobwyreconnect.net
Slim down load this map:
http://fermi.jhuapl.edu/states/1895/ne_1895.jpg
The ranch is in Thomas county and west of Dunning and south ot Thedford on the south side of the Dismal. ;D
You headed straight north so you must be in Cherry county.
Delmonico.
Brazos notices Slim foolin' with this contraption hooked to a barbwire fence. Sudden like, Slim's face goes ghostly white and his eyes get big as sausers! (like this - :o :o). He stammers, "Del gonna make me do this again?" Brazos wonders what is going through Slims head cause Ol' Slim is sweating a river!
Brazos shakes his head and takes another fork full of bacon. ;D
in the mean while litl' rooster, who is not worried about any ellie fant attacks pushes the last of the cattle on to Sod Buster's claim. His crew hurries around and checks the gates and wyre. Heading to the soddy to leave a one third payment on the deal I have made with Sod Buster, $1000 US dollars. Explaining the other 2/3's will be paid when they are moved out taking to the railhead. In 100 days...Them cattle will fatten jest right and will be more profitable at the cutting end of this business. Kicking another snake out of the way, I advise Sod, that he might want to take a little of that money and get some shot shells and use a few on the nest of snakes at his home. I also tell him of the men out looking to hunt the wild ellie fants...Only believing that Delmonico is up to one of his pranks.
Irish has Slim send a message to Del. Thanks fer tha updated map, we wuz skeered we had took a wrong turn an wuz on another Continent, cuz we saw a sign whut sed Arabia next right!
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother comes downstairs and out on the porch, where she kicks Delmonico out of her chair. Bowing her head, she looks down to the shell covered Duke.
"Congratulations, yer a daddy! And in one fell swoop," she pauses to contemplate, "okie, maybe two, you've nearly caught up to Slim in the ranks of fatherhood. Daisy and Claire have twelve of your puppies upstairs on Trinity's bed."
Duke gets up, shakes off the shells and bounds upstairs. He leaps onto the bed to find the Frumpy Fairy Godmother spoke truly, for there are Claire and Daisy, with twelve nudging pups. Some are brown, some are chocolate, some are yellow, one is blue, and some are all mixed up. Claire and Daisy look at Duke, their eyes filling with pride and joy. Duke looks back at them, then at the puppies, and falls off the bed in a dead faint.
All of a sudden, the smell of fresh bacon snaps Trinity out of his spell. He stands stock still for a moment, staring into space. Then he drops the elephant poop and looks around. "Whar em Ah?? Whar's tha house? Whar's mah hang-up-baid?"
Trinity is only now realizing that he has been taken along on some sort of expedition and begins to worry that no one remembered to pack a jug or five.
<Authors note: Delmonico packed several jugs but they have iced tea in them. Years ago someone pulled that one on him, handed him a bottle of sourmash, he took a big swig and it was ice tea, with sugar, durnt near kilt him.>
After eatin' nuthin' but peanuts for 2 days, delmonico realizes he's in trouble as he hears a rumblin' noise. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D He suddenly heads for the Wedgewood and he don't want no goober butter. :P :P :P :P
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother serenely follows Delmonico into the house, where she prepares food for the new mothers. Taking it upstairs, she nudges Duke gently with her toe.
"Wake up, Studly, you have to go get a job, think of all the new shoes you have to get!"
Duke looks up at her, then thinks of 24 pair of shoes and falls back over once more.
Meanwhile the scent from Trinity's shoes wafts over from the corner of the room to the FFG, Duke and his new family.
A strange scent of rancid bacon mixed with foot fungus and stale booze draws the Frumpy Fairy Godmother's attention as she tends to the dogs. Torn between sniffing the air and pinching her nose closed, she hunts through the room. She knows she is getting closer as her eyes start to water. Finally, she finds the shoes. Fighting off the urge to gag, she holds her nose with one hand and picks up the shoes with the other. Rushing to the window, she chucks the shoes out where they bounce down the lawn.
with the shoes now offendin' Delmonico, he goes a distance north of the house and digs a hole. going to the barn he gets a tongs and grabs the shoes and tosses them in the hole. He then goes back to the barn and gets a milk bucket full of coal oil and dumps it in the hole. ;D
Striking a lucifer he lights the coal oil. ;D
<Authors Note: Kids don't try this at home today, the EPA will get you. :o.>
As the shoes and coal oil burn, the breeze picks up from the south and a lone tumble weed blows by the fire, igniting as it passes. The burning tumbleweed picks up speed and bounces accross the dismal, lighting the grass on the north side.
The fire picks up speed and heads north following slim's wagon tracks. :o ::) ::) ;D
As the wagon rolls to a stop at sunset, Irish looks back over the distance they have travelled. Over the rapidly darkening sky beyond the horizon line Irish notices a faint orange glow, it reminds him of the Del O Lantern back at the house, he shivers at the thought. He walks over to Slim and points to the orange glow.
While everybody's attention is averted, Trinity roots around until he finds one of the jugs that Del packed. Elated, he pulls the cork, spits it out (he'll never need to recap it, now will he?) and takes a deep slug. Realization that this isn't what he thought sets in and he spits it out, all over half of the hunting party. Because spit takes are so funny, he takes another slug to make sure and then spits it out all over the other half.
>:( "This ain' mah recipe!!!" :'(
"Trinity! Quit spitin' on us! >:("
"Tom, I don't like the looks of that orange glow. It could be a BIG flamin' punkin or maybe a fire. I don't like either one. I'z gonna ride my horse that way to scout it out. You and Trinity get ready ta make a run fer it if it is sometin bad." With that, Slim rides south towards the orange glow.
Reader's note: I hope the oli-phant hunting party still remembers the teachings of Delmonico on how to deal with a prairie fire. ::)
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on October 14, 2005, 10:15:46 AM
Reader's note: I hope the oli-phant hunting party still remembers the teachings of Delmonico on how to deal with a prairie fire. ::)
Quote from: Delmonico on June 15, 2005, 01:36:12 PM
...Always carry lucifers in yer pocket in a match safe to keep them dry. If'n ya see a prarie fire coming just light the grass down wind from ya, when it burns off, step into the clear spot and the fire will go round ya. ...
Reader's Question to Slim: Didja remember it or had to go check? ;D
Slim comes ridin' back. "It's a prairie fire. Accordin' ta the maps the North Loup is too far to try ta outrun the fire, so we'z gonna try sometin a crazy cosie tolt me once. We'll light the grass down-wind from us, when it is burnt off we step into the burnt part and the fire should go 'round us."
"Anyone got some Lucifers?" :o :o :o
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on October 14, 2005, 11:02:34 AM
Reader's Question to Slim: Didja remember it or had to go check? ;D
<Arthur's note: Whatcha think? :D>
<Authors Note: Once again Slim has failed us. ;D What he should have did was since he was in lake country was to drive the wagons into a lake and for Slim to find a hollow cottonwood with a bee nest. He could then gather the honey while the smoke kept the bees calm. ;D>
From Trinity's bedroom window, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother watches the fire. Her first reaction was to get her new surrey and head off to the rescue, but the fire was between the house and the pachyderm seeking party. As she watches, she idly pets a puppy or five. One of them comes dangerously near the edge of the bed and she gently nudges it back. The puppy squirms, then latches onto Daisy.
"Hey, didn't I see you with Claire before?" Of course, the pup doesn't answer her. She gives a look to Claire and Daisy who look back at her as if to say, "Do you really expect us to keep them straight?"
With a shrug, she looks back to the window and the fire.
I got some in a special compartment in the wagon I had made to seal stuff from the weather! Irish reaches in and hands a couple to Slim. Where do ya reckon the best spot is Slim?
"Probably next to this here lake. ::)"
Good idea Slim, Irish pulls the wagon into the water about halfway up its wheels. He looks in the compartment and pulls out a box. "ACME Instant Soap" just add water, he decides to take the initiative and sprinkles it all over Trinity then pushes him into the Lake.
As the tumble weed blows through the fire, Delmonico looks puzzled and says, "What was that durn thing that went by?" ???
<Authors Note: The large tumble weed that is a favorite of Hollywood, is also known as the Russian Thistle. This weed came into the country with immagrants bring in improved wheat seed fron europe, most spe-sif-ic-ally the variety know as Turkey Red. ::) This weed did not really become much of a problem till the dry 1930's. This stray one which caused all the problems was most likely an early production model from south central Newbrassky or north central Kannnnsasss. ;D>
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on October 14, 2005, 11:29:56 AM
Good idea Slim, Irish pulls the wagon into the water about halfway up its wheels. He looks in the compartment and pulls out a box. "ACME Instant Soap" just add water, he decides to take the initiative and sprinkles it all over Trinity then pushes him into the Lake.
;D ;D ;D ;D
Slim rides his horse into the lake as the fire approaches. "It's nice that this lake magically appeared so we didn't have to use some of our precious Lucifers. Wonder if the FFg had anything to do with it." ;D
<Authors Note: the FFg had nuthin' to do with it, Newbrassky ranks second in natural lakes after Minny-soda, over 90% of these are in the sandhills region. ::) They are mostly small and shallow, but they are there. ;D ;D>
<Arthur's note: Don't get my started on MN's 10,000 lakes? >:( ::)>
Is Slim gonna rant? ???
<Arthur's note: I'z try'n vewy hard not to.> ;D
<Authors Note: that must put Wissyconsion in 3rd place. ;D Go ahead and rant, it'll do ya good.>
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother sees the tumbleweed and shudders in horror. She remembers the ride she got on one that dropped her off in the middle of nowhere with a broken wand. Standing, she makes barriers around the bed from some of Trinity's old clothing, after zapping the fabric to some form of cleanliness. With the puppies safe, she goes back downstairs, a dazed Duke following in her wake.
Walking out to the porch, she looks to Delmonico. "Think they are ok?"
Quote from: Delmonico on October 14, 2005, 02:19:50 PM
<Authors Note: that must put Wissyconsion in 3rd place. ;D Go ahead and rant, it'll do ya good.>
<Arthur's note: Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.> :D
<Arthur's note: Where was we? Now, I have to go back a page or two ta pick up the story. Lakes!> >:(
The fire reaches the edge of the rather small lake, not much bigger than some puddles. It stops and glares at Slim on top of his horse. All of a sudden it leaps at Slim. Slim sees it coming at his head and ducks. The fire lands on the opposite bank and continues it's northerly path. Slim smells burnt fur and realizes his hat is on fire. He dives into the lake to put out the fire and gets stuck in the sandy bottom. Tom and Trinity have to pull him out.
Once the fire has passed Tom notices a tall tree on the edge of the lake. At its base lie a large number of stunned bees. He looks at Slim, "Say ya think its got Hunny in it?" Mebbe we could talk Trinity into going up to find out!
"Sounds like a good idea ta me." ;D
I'll give im a bucket an tell im that there's a jug under the hunny! ;D
Trinity stands in the water in the middle of a large oil slick, reflecting all colors of the spectrum, which formed only minutes of being thrown in. They were all very lucky that the fire passed by so quickly and didn't linger long enough to ignite the oil.
Hearing Lucky Irish Tom whispering to Slim, he perks up: "Didja say sumpin' 'bout a jug?"
As he gets out of the water it becomes apparent that not enough soap was used as his odor was only magnified, much like a dog when dampened. Only this was not the odor of a wet dog... it was a wet Trinity. He walks over to the tree and as he nears, the bees leave in a flurry of angry buzzing.
Trinity rummages around and removes his hand, sticky with honey, and shouts: "They ain' no jug in here!" >:(
Delmonico says, "If they use their brains they should be fine." He looks at the FFg and says, "I better take the extra wagon and leave in the morning and see if I can find their bodies." ;D ;D
"If Slim survives, he'll be on his way back to Wissysconsyn. As for the other two, I don't know if they have brains to use."
She shakes her head, sadly. "I reckon I'll come with you to help load the bodies."
"We could just bury them where we find them, it would save a lot of work." ::)
"A lot easier to dig a shallow grave than to load em up and drag em back." ;D ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother smacks him with a dishtowel.
"These aren't strangers, they're family! We are not going to leave them like that. No, we'll bring them back and give them a proper burial."
"Well if'n Tom and Trinity both caught fire it was liable to burn them both up and if Slim was anywhere with in a 100 yards the alcohol fire would prob-bally burn him completly gone like a blast furnace." ;D ;D
She gives an exasperated sigh.
"If you don't want to go, then don't go. I'll take the wagon in the morning."
"Ok we'll take the wagon and go in the morning." ;D
She gives a small smile and smooches him on the cheek. "That's settled, then. I reckon it's just the two of us plus all the dogs for dinner. Want me to cook?"
"Sounds, like a good idea, whats fer supper." ;D
"How about scrambled eggs mixed with sausage and cheese? There's still plenty of cheese left and Slim will be bringing more, if he's still alive, on Monday. I can pat out some tortillas to serve it on."
With his hands covered with honey, Trinity's eyes glaze over and he smiles as he says to himself: "Mmmmmmm, Breakfast tacos..."
Delmonico finshes loadin' the extra wagon after midnight, he has stayed up late and made three caskets and has added a few bags of lime, by puttin' lime over the bodies in the caskets this will help with any odors, because burnt bodies smell really bad. Delmonico has packed a big picnic basket to take on the trip and it would be a shame to have to smell dead burnt bodies while eatin' it. :P :P
Delmonic also realizes that once again this is another mess Slim has caused. First of all he don't realize eller-funks are ex-stinkt in Newbrassky. Then if he would have taken Trinitys shoes with him, they would have not had to have been burnt, heck Delmonico loaded Trinity in the wagon, you'd of thought Slim could have loaded his shoes. ;D ::)
Besides that he could have went down to Kansas and cut that tumble weed afore it dried and blowed north. Then he went right along the path it would take after it caught fire. ;) 'Sides that now the FFg ain't sure if he's got enough sense to not get burnt up in a prairie fire.
Yep once again it's all Slim's fault. :o :o ::) ::) ;)
For her part, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother spends her time fussing around the house, making sure everything will be all right while they are away. The new mothers go out for some fresh air while she changes the disgusting linens on Trinity's bed. Taking out more linens, she makes a nest of sorts on the floor for the puppies, who squirm around a while before settling in. Satisfied that they'll be safe, she packs her own bag with day gloves and work gloves, a heavy canvas apron (in case the bodies are burnt and nasty) and her work boots. Gliding down to the kitchen, she takes out two large squares of fabric and places some mothballs in each of them, tying the mothballs into the fabric. These small parcels are also placed in her satchel (in case the bodies are burnt and nasty).
Not knowing when Pete will return, she sets out the makings for coffee and pens a note to him, telling him where they are going.
Daisy and Claire scamper in when she opens the door, giving her a grateful look before they bound upstairs. As she loads the satchel, her parasol, and a lap blanket into the wagon, the dogs move the puppies back to Trinity's bed.
When morning comes, she's had little sleep and lines of worry etch her face.
"Duke's coming, too. If there's anything left of the bodies, he'll be able to find them." The image of Duke coming to her with a charred arm in his mouth fills her mind and she shudders, a tiny tear rolling down the side of her face.
A bit afternoon Delmonico pulls the wagon down into a crick bottom that was passed by the fire for loooooooooonch. ;D
As of yet there is not sign of bodies or a big alcohol burn mark. ;D
As they finish loooonch they see Trinity off about 200 yards away in a tree, he's likin' hunny off one hand and fightin' bees with the other. ;D ;D Irish Tom is asleep under the tree and all covered with bee stings, snorin' away. ::) Delmonico see's the wagon and one horse is missin' he figgers Slim made it home safe. ;D
Loadin' the wagon they leave them to their own devices and head back to the ranch. ;D
Back at the ranch Delmonico unhitches the mules and puts them out in the corral. The caskets he puts on the porch by the Del-O-Lantern. ::) :o ;)
Delmonico and FFg return to the Ranch with No Name, finding a note on door.. Stopped by on the way back from Sod's...Seen the fire trail and the smoke sent wagon with water barrels and gunny sacks to try and stop it. No one here hope all are okay. Cute puppies :o but they sure made a mess of Trinty's room
Slim rides into the yard and puts his horse away. He takes his saddlebags and "Mighty Ten" to the house. He puts the cheese in the icebox and yells, "Is anyone home?"
Delmonico hides in the pantry wonderin' if Slim saw the caskets on the porch. ::)
Slim hears the pantry floor creak. He opens the pantry door to find Delmonico inside. "Morning, Del."
"Mornin' did you stop by and get the other two on yer way back?" ;D
Irish wakes up to finds himself sore and itchy with little bumps all over his body, not quite sure how he got that way. As he looks around a wagon crests the ridge with water barrels and gunny sacks on it. He flags down the wagon and prepares to head back to the ranch, at that moment he looks up and sees that Trinity is still up in the top of the tree covered in honey and fighting the bees. After calling him several times with no reponse Irish picks up a rock a flings it at Trinity, luck is with him and it catches Trinity right behind the ear. Trinity loses his hold on the tree and as fortune would have it falls on the pile of gunney sacks. After Trinity lands Irish removes the two buckets of honey from his arms, which are full to overflowing. They ride the wagon back to the Ranch arriving shortly after sunset. Trinity and Irish get the wagon put away in the barn and walk back toward the house as they approach the front porch they once again behold the sinister Del O Lantern, now flanked by three coffins and they both promptly pass out!
"I figgered they could find their way back by following the maps." Slim hears two thuds outside, so he goes to the porch and sees Tom and Trinity "sleeping" in the yard. "Del, they made it back. They were so tired they fell asleep in the yard." ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother comes downstairs from tending to the puppies to give Slim a greeting hug. "We have puppies!" She whispers in his ear, "but I'm not sure I want to tell Delmonico, he might try to fricassee them."
She turns to look outside, then grabs her skirts in her hands to dash outside. She nearly trips over Irish Tom as she saves the honey from tipping.
"Thank ya, ma'am. Where'z them puppies? Good catch."
<Authors note: Delmonico has studied the Native American way of eatin' dog a bit, but has never tried it, but Lewis and Clark did, Lewis loved it, Clarck hated it. But a full grown dog is cooked just like any game animal, roasted, stewed or such. Now young puppies that's another story, only served to honored guests and I will pass on that and further more we will not mention it again, not my idea of cusine.>
She comes back inside to place the buckets of honey on the counter. Licking an errant drop from her fingertip, she grins to Slim. "Upstairs in Trinity's bedroom. Come on, let's see what they are doing!"
<Author's note: Dang it, I thought I posted that over an hour ago and it went poof! And the Frumpy Fairy Godmother doesn't know Delmonico wouldn't cook a dog, not after cooping Duke up in a door and making him howl all night. So there. :P >
"Okay. They'z probably eatin' or sleepin'." Slim follows the FFg to Trinity's room.
<Delmonico tries for more complicated and bizzare things, like this!>
Trinity and Tom are passed out in the door yard covered with honey. ::) The afternoon is fairly warm for a October day. Trying to finish up with their winter prep-er-at-ions a colony of ants has scouts out which soon find the honey covered pair. Shortly there after a long line of ants come into the yard, pick up Tom and Trinity and carry them back to their nest. Just like to old Looney Toons cartoon with the picnic and the ants, the hole expands to let them take the two honey covered guys into the nest, just like the watermelon in that old cartoon. ;D ;D
Of course the last ant has to stomp them in like it the old cartoon. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
With supper done Delmonico goes out to call in Trinity and Lucky Tom. He sees they are not in the yard, on the porch, in the bunkhouse, barn or any where to be found. ::) He decides they've done wandered off on another foolish adventure. ;D
As Delmonico is standing on the porch thinking how foolish it is for Trinity and Irish to have run off again a marvel of science occurs. Prodigious amounts of methane have built up within Trinity after eating nothing but beans for several days on the trail. Trinity cannot contain the venting of the vapors, and due to the fact that the ants have carried him underground in warm weather the rapidly expanding pocket of gas is not to be contained either.
Suddenly Del hears a rumbling and a vast amount of the front yard erupts skyward in a fountain of soil and ants. As things settle down Del notices that a crater some twelve feet across and about fifteen feet deep exists in the yard, and in its center stand two very dirty individuals Trinity and Irish. Trinity looks at Del and says, "Is it time to eat yet?"
The University of New brass key Entomology Department recieves reports of dead ants falling out of the sky all over the State, a phenomenon they are at a loss to explain.
Trinity pats his belly and says: "'Scuse me, but boy do Ah feel better now!!"
He sticks his finger in his ear to scratch it and pulls out a three legged ant. "Sorry pard..." *squish*
Delmonico looks at the two and says, "Ya can't have no supper till you replace yer divet." ;D
litl rooster riding back off see's the explosion and wonders if those fire ants were the ignitors of the methane gas ???
;D ;D ;D
Delmonico comes out with a broom and sweeps the ants, Tom and Trinity off the porch. He goes back in to fix breakfast. ;D
Slim comes out to the porch to stare at the crater. :o
delmonico decides he ain't gonna get those two to fix their mess in the yard and he knows the FFg ain't gonna like a large crator in the yard. Delmonico ain't gonna shovel that much dirt so he does the only logical thing, he orders a Steam Shovel on his Coal Oil Computor. ;D
Slim smells something cookin' so he goes into the kitchen. "Del, what's fer breakfast?"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother stares at the hole, then picks up two buckets and runs around the crater, picking up the honey covered ants. When those buckets are full, she gets two more and fills those up. She ships the ants to New Yarhk where they are sold at a ridiculously high price as delicacies, earning her a small fortune.
Back on the porch, she regards the crater.
"Could we turn it into a pond? A pond would be nice."
"Are there enough springs to fill the crater or will we have to divert water from the Dismal?"
" I haven't been down there to look to see if there is a spring. If you go look, Slim, I'll make sure Delmonico doesn't push you in."
"There are springs but they are below us, so you'll have to pump it, but it t'wont't do no good cause the water will flow right through the sand to the water table and in a day or so it'll be right back at yer spring." ;D ;D ;D
"Yer gonna have to get some of that new fangled Portland Cement and mix up some of that concrete stuff and line the hole. there is plenty of sand and gravel down in the river for agravate ta hold it together. I'll order some from Louyville Newbrasky dowd toward the end of the Plattee. I'll keep the order for the steam shovel cause I can use it to get yer agrivate." ::) ;D ;)
"What ya say ma'am, ya want a cement pond?"
please send a letter to Litl' Rooster's Water Authority, stating the purpose of the use of water, and I might allow some from the Dismall to fill the crater, I do like fishing ya know.
"You ain' tryin' ta agrivate the FFG, are you Del?"
Delmonico sneaks out of the house and saddles his mule, by watchin' from the hills he see a campfire downstream from the ranch about 12 miles. ;D Tieing his mule up a half mile away, Delmonico muzzles it. He then takes off his boots and spurs and puts on a pair of moccasins with hard soles (cactus ::))
He then sneaks up 10 yards from litl roosters camp, watches him get readt to prepare supper. When he goes to fill the coffee pot, Delmonico quietly pees right into the stream. (that's important ;D) When litl rootser puts the coffee in and puts it on the fire, he knows he's succesful and goes back gets his mule and rides back to the ranch. ;D
Trinity goes upstairs to his room. As he enters his room he is greeted by the two mothers and the passel of little ones. Trinity is overjoyed. He clears a space on the messy bed to lay and pet the pups. As he reaches for the first one, he promptly falls asleep.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother ponders a moment, then nods.
"If no one objects, I'd like a pond. I like ducks." Her smile becomes a beam of delight as her skirts swirl around her ankles and she goes upstairs to check on the puppies.
Inside Trinity's room, she chuckles with delight at the scene in front of her, then quietly closes the door behind her as she leaves.
"Well we'll get started on it on Thursday, I just checked on the trackin' numbers, my steam shovel and it should be here on Thursday and the Portland will be here tommorow. ;D I'll just go down to the river and get some sand and gravel for agrivate for the concrete."
<Author's note, yer all laughin' at Delmonico by now, I just realized a problem with his plan, fegot somethin' very important.>
::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)
Jumpin' Gee Hosa Fat ya all forgot about me!" Brazos yells as he crawls out of the hole on his mouse colored horse. (Bein' a 'toon we can show up anywhere) ;D "Gall darn, last thing I see is a prarie burnin' and comin' my way. Had to deflate my horse and turn him into water wings so I could get into the lake. Next thing I know I am goin' down a stream and someone (looked at lot like Del) is releaving himself in that stream! Change my water wings into a snorkle and go under! Then on shore I see Lil' Rooster gaggin' on his coffee and dancing around looks like he is gonna hurl, so I am duckin' agian. then I got caught in a whirl type pool and here I am! >:(
Brazos wrings out all his clothes, his hat, and his horse! Hope the ffg is not lookin'! Blows his nose on whats left of his ser-ap-ee and says "gee, is there anything to eat, I got me a powerful hunger!"
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Delmonico just shakes his head cause he seen Brazo's and his horse drinkin' some of Trinty's corn likker last night and then staggerin' into the hole. ;D
Delmonico just knows there is sumthin' he forgot and if it kkeps him grom gettin' the agrivate to make the concrete the FFg is gonna do sumthin' horrible to him.
<Arthur's note: Del might need some water to mix with the cement.> ;D ;D ;D
Irish has warshed off the dirt, ants, and hunny and is sitting on the porch drinking coffee. He watches Del taking measurements and drawing up plans for the pond. He can't help but wonder what Del plans to do with the three coffins he has on the porch, maybe he'll turn them into canoes.
Slim grabs some coffee and takes set on the porch to watch Del.
<Authors note: Slim has fergotten the well with the windmill and it will fill the pond nicely. Thus the act of defiance to the litl rooster Water A-thor-itty. Sides that Delmonico understands water rights and his claim was the first on the Dismal so he has first water rights. litl roosters claims won't hold up in a Court of Law or a Court of the Cottonwood Tree. ;D ;D>
<Nuther Authors Note: Wait and see. ;D ;D ;D>
A wagon loaded with Portland Cement comes to the ranch and is unloaded in the barn. ::)
With a rumbling sound something arrives in front of the house.
It's a man, riding some sort of cream coloured two wheel machine. He's dressed in a heavy brown leather jacket ands has some strange glasses with the lenses mounted on leather and strapped around his head with a sort of rubber band. :o
There's a scabbard on the side of his bike with a lever rifle in it, it looks like a Winchester 1885 but it's smaller. Strapped to his waist is a wooden holster with a strange grip that looks kind of the end of a broomstick sticking out of it.
The stranger raises his glasses to his forehead and hollers Howdy! To everybody.
Everybody looks back at him as if had come out of a horror novel.
Feeling kind of uncomfortable, the man pulls his goggles back on, hollers Bye! To everybody turns his machine around and disappears in a cloud of dust.
At a safe distance, out of sight, the man stops his machine pulls out a pocket watch and speaks into it. :o
Scattered Thumbs calling time control do you read me?
Yeah! We ear you. What's up?
What's the time frame of the Dismal file?
1880s, Why?
Well, you folks sent me in to investigate time disturbances in this area like the sighting of helicopters, at least one airplane and flying saucers. Riding a 1909 Harley Davidson, dressed in leather and armed with an 1892 Winchester and an 1896 Broomhandle that's why. >:( Who's in charge of props for this one?
Let's see. John Ford XXII
Him!? Again! >:( Just because his ancestor made Westerns that don't mean he's an expert. I have to leave the scene. I'll go to point X23 for retrieval. I can't stay in the area now.
O.K. we'll pick you up.
After this conversation, the stranger rides away and disappears in the distance.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother simply... stares.
After a moment, she asks: "Wasn't that the man who had his face on the kitchen wall?"
"I think so, ma'am. What was the contraption he was ridin'?"
Quote from: Delmonico on October 19, 2005, 11:10:03 AM
<Authors note: Slim has fergotten the well with the windmill and it will fill the pond nicely. Thus the act of defiance to the litl rooster Water A-thor-itty. Sides that Delmonico understands water rights and his claim was the first on the Dismal so he has first water rights. litl roosters claims won't hold up in a Court of Law or a Court of the Cottonwood Tree. ;D ;D>
<Nuther Authors Note: Wait and see. ;D ;D ;D>
A wagon loaded with Portland Cement comes to the ranch and is unloaded in the barn. ::)
<Arthur's note 1: :-[ Oops, fergot about the windmill. That was the same trip Slim was arrest fer the runnin' iron.>
<Arthur's note 2: Why would they unload it in the barn when it's gonna be used in the crater? ::) It don't rain in Newbrasssssky. ;D>
" it don't rain in Cali-forn-ia either" Brazos says with a little melody (very little Melody)! But tell that to those folks that gets flooded out in the hills (between brushfires) :o. heh heh heh And my an-sest-or sure got a lot in the Lincoln when driven that house on wheels to Florida. 8) Better put a tarp over it in the Barn too! ;D Del may find lil' rooster needs more liquid in makin' hisself more coffee. :P
After the strage man on the mo-to-r-sickle leaves, Delmonico remembers what he forgot in regarts to what he lacks to make his steam shovel work right. He goes in and orders what he needs and finds out it can be delivered tommorow with the steam shovel. ??? ??? :o :o ;)
<We'll get it in the bucket of the steam shovel, even if it don't rain it will collect dew. :o>
<Authors Note: Delmonico wishes he still had his sheet metal steam shovel he had when he was a kid with the cables that worked the boom and shovel. ::) wonder if kids still read Mick Mulligan and his Steam Shovel. Naw most likely been banned.>
<Arthur's Note: My kids have read Mick Mulligan and his Steam Shovel.> ;D
<Authors Note: I have all my kids books over to my folks house, incliuding a copy of "Little Black Sambo" that has survived the book burners. ;D>
<authors note ....never heard of Mick Mulligan>
<<Del, the Atlantic Coast Conference of Book Burners (ACCOBB) just left here shouting and with their torches lit!>>
Mick Mulligan ? ??? Must be a middle of the country type book? ::) But weren't there a res- tur-ant type place that had to change it's name too so as not to offend? Arn't we a whole lot happier being Pooolitically Correct? ;D "Hey Del is that you up in that bucket, I am going to get out of the way before it starts dewwing down here! :o Says Brazos making a quick exit to the kitchen.
They used to read it on Captain Kangaroo. ;D ;D ;D ;D
;D ;D That clarifies everything! We all liked the Captain! ;D ;D ;D
;D ;DYep, not too many folks don't know who he was! ;D ;D
And Mr. Green Jeans too! ;D
< Author's note: Dagnabbit, I posted on this last night and it disappeared! >:( When Will was tiny, I read "Mike Mulligan and the Steam Shovel" to him many times. Dunno who Mick was, maybe he was Mike's ne'er do well cousin who drove the shovel up a tree? :D Confession: my first crush was on Mr. Green Jeans. :-[ AL >
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother blinks as though coming out of a particularly good day dream. "I don't know what that was, Slim." She turns to go back into the kitchen to make coffee and biscuits.
The dissasembled steam shovel arrives in several ox pulled wagons, it is also plain it has railroad type wheels on it instead of crawler tracks. ;D <Crawler tracks were not invented till about 1912>
But soon a large amout of wagons appear, carring dissasembled buildings and lots of rough lookin' men. The quickly set up a town between the ranch and the Dismal and start layin' track. ;D
Quote from: AnnieLee on October 20, 2005, 05:40:23 AM
< Author's note: Dagnabbit, I posted on this last night and it disappeared! >:( When Will was tiny, I read "Mike Mulligan and the Steam Shovel" to him many times. Dunno who Mick was, maybe he was Mike's ne'er do well cousin who drove the shovel up a tree? :D Confession: my first crush was on Mr. Green Jeans. :-[ AL >
<Arthur's note: Sorry, Del lead me astray, again. ::) ;D Yes, it is Mike Mulligan. >
(http://a1204.g.akamai.net/7/1204/1401/04012011011/images.barnesandnoble.com/images/7310000/7315318.jpg)
Quote from: Delmonico on October 20, 2005, 11:16:13 AM
The dissasembled steam shovel arrives in several ox pulled wagons, it is also plain it has railroad type wheels on it instead of crawler tracks. ;D <Crawler tracks were not invented till about 1912>
But soon a large amout of wagons appear, carring dissasembled buildings and lots of rough lookin' men. The quickly set up a town between the ranch and the Dismal and start layin' track. ;D
"Is the railroad gonna go thru here?" ???
Nope, just a track from the Dismal to the crater to bring the agrivate and one from the crater to the barn to bring the Portland Cement. ;D We got to have it to run the steam shovel. ::)
"??? ??? Is the buildings temp-o-ary too?" Asks Brazos, while rubbin' his beard. Ain't ready to live too close to any town. :P This water your gonna be puttin' in this here cement lined hole is it have medicinal properties? Ya gonna have pretty ladies drapin' hot towels on the people layin' on the benches?" 8)
At this point FFG comes out and belts Brazos with a broom up side the head sending his hat rocketing across the hole! ;D Brazos after picking himself up off the ground, says "Nevermind, ducks would be nice." ::)
This is a temporary Hell on wheels Railroad constrution town, just till they get the rails laid. I borrowed them from the CB&Q, when they are done they go back to Wyoming. ;D ;D
Oh as a precaution I tied Trinity to his bed post. ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on October 20, 2005, 12:00:14 PM
Nope, just a track from the Dismal to the crater to bring the agrivate and one from the crater to the barn to bring the Portland Cement. ;D We got to have it to run the steam shovel. ::)
"Oh!"
Hey Rooster,
Now that Del is laying RR track, perhaps we can convince him to operate a permanent spur line. We could use it to get your cattle to market.
Sod Buster that would be a good ideal...but if I might point out what happened the last time Delmonico went to Asleep at the Wheel, with a steam engine. ;D :o ::) ;D
Ol' Trinity is sleeping, standing straight up where he is tied to the bed post. He begins to dream of Ray Benson and his band.
;D ;D ;D
All those little puppies eating at mom's ah, things! :o And, they develop a mighty urge. they are looking around for someplace to lift a leg, and there is Trinity standing asleep. The puppies look bac and forth from Trinity to the bed post. ??? Soon all puppies have a relieved look ;D and Trinity has legs and boot that are very wet, and fragrant! :P :P :P :P :P :P
The smell awakens Trinity. He stands there helpless for a moment. Then he sqirms a bit then falls asleep again.
;D ;D ;D That Trinity is some lad! ;D ;D ;D
With all the commotion, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother's eyes grow wide and alarmed. She's not ready for a town so close either, and a duck pond isn't worth it! But before she can protest and say she's changed her mind about the whole mess, she hears Delmonico say: "This is a temporary Hell on wheels Railroad constrution town, just till they get the rails laid. I borrowed them from the CB&Q, when they are done they go back to Wyoming. ;D ;D
"Oh as a precaution I tied Trinity to his bed post. ;D"
She heaves a great sigh of relief.
The smell of booze wafts through the open window into Trinity's nostrils. With it comes the sound of a drunken bar fight.
After the bar fight is over, Delmonico and Trinity can here music in the autum night, It's Ray singin' Shoooo, shooo, shooo shooo sha booggy.
Delmonico is dissapointed, if he knew Asleep at the Wheel was gonna play the Hell on Wheels town, he'd a got him and Trinity tickets. ::) ::) ;D ;D ;)
Delmonico decides to find out who's playin' tommorow night. ;D
Irish wanders upstairs to see the puppies and finds a rather fragrant Trinity tied to the bed post. Thinking it must have been leprechauns Irish cuts Trinity loose and then sets out in search of the Pot O Gold!
Slim goes to the kitchen to start coffee and breakfast.
Delmonico walks to "Hell on Wheels" to find out who's playin' tonite and get him and Trinity tickets. ;D
Brazos being too old to enjoy that strain of music ::) ???, folllows Slim to the kitchen. "What you figure to cook up fer breakfast there Slim? Bacon, Eggs, some ham?" 8)
Slim pulls his head outta the icebox. "Looks like bacon and eggs. Stoney's gonna have ta butcher and smoke a pig or two so we can have ham." Slim adds wood to the cookstove and starts cooking breakfast. He puts on a fresh put of coffee.
Delmonico comes back with a smile and two tickets in his hand. "Jerry Jeff wlker and the Lost gonzo Band are playin' tonite, I got me and Trinity tickets." ;D ;D ;D
The Track from the crater to the river is done as far as Hell on Wheels, I can even be the desinated driver. ::) I'll get the steam shovel set up on the tracks." :o :o :o ;D ;D ;)
"How does one get a steam shovel setup on the tracks? Ya have ta assemble it on the tracks?" Slim is finally finished makin' breakfast. "Breakfast is ready!", he yells but not loud enough fer the workers outside to hear him. He fills his plate, a cup of coffee, and takes a seat on the porch to watch the goin-ons.
Yep, they already got it done. ;D Me and Trinity gonna do the town tonite.
Brazos fills a plate and joins Slim on the porch. He sees Del putin' the finishing touchs on the steam shovel and remarks to Slim, "That Del is a mighty interprising fellow. Hope he does make Trinity take a bath or it might be a mighty short show!" ;D
And, I guess I'd be more concerned iffin' he allows Trinity to take a jug and then gets his hands on the controls of that shovel. That town might indeed be a ghost town by mornin'! :o :o
Irish gets a cup of coffee and joins Slim and Brazos on the porch, "Did I here you say that Del's gona let Trinity drive the steam shovel?" :o
Delmonico and Trinity head to the steam shovel headed to Hell on Wheels and the Jerry Jeff Walker concert. ;D The steam shovel is up to full steam and Trinity is in a strait jacket to prevent touchin' of levers.
Straight jacket or not I see a watch this! coming.....litl' rooster paints a tunnel on a nearby hill and pulls the tracks to appear to be entering the tunnel....> seen this on the "road runner"cartoon < It should be funny and that'll teach them fer not taking me to see Jerry Jeff
Delmonico, Trinity and the steam shovel go inside the tunnel and out the other side. ;D The Wile E. litl rooster is confused and ride Peaeye right at the tunnel endin' up in a really bad cowboy type wreck. ;D ;D (Delmonico also watched the Road Runner ;D)
When they arrive in Hell on Wheels, they get out, Delmonico lets Trinity out of the strait jacket (yes they were invented in the early part of the 19th century) He also banks the fire and locks the doors.
As they head down the street they can hear.....................
M is fer the Mudflaps ya gave me fer my pickup,
Oil is fer the oil I put on my hair,
T is fer T-Bird,
H is fer Haggard
E is fer eggs and
R is fer Redneck....................... ;D
By the time it is about over Delmonico has lost Trinity, the band comes out for one more encore:
This song it was written down
In a pea green windowless room
Four o'clock and the TV's dead
Wired up with nothin' to do
I drunk all my whiskey I smoked all my beer
I'm already gone I just got here
An old hairy ass hillbilly
Still up and hangin' on
Made me think of a similar time
In the Tropicannibal motel
Takin' showers 'bout every hour
'Cause I wasn't really feelin' well
Well in walked the Alabama Leanin' Man
His ol' buddy Billy Swann
Two old hairy ass hillbillies
Still up and hangin' on
Takes a friend to make you laugh
A slap on the back someone who knows
Right where you're at
A friend in town who just heard you're around
Came by see how you're gettin' along
Most people go out to clubs
Just to see an electric dildo
A human jutebox who loves to play
Every single song they know
But they don't care if you blow your soul
They usually stand up and tell you so
And leave that hairy ass hillbilly
Still up and hangin' on
So wherever you may be tonight
I wish you luck
You may be with a friend of yours
And may your friend be your lady love
But if you gotta go and do a show
And afterwards you got no where to go
You're just a hairy ass hillbilly
Still up and hangin' on
Takes a friend to make you laugh
A slap on the back someone who knows
Right where you're at
A friend in town who just heard you're around
Came by see how you're gettin' along
As the band leaves, Trinity is no where in sight, Delmonico figgers he can find his way the 150 yards home, he goes back unlocks the steam shovel, gets up a head of steam and heads home. Upon exitin' the tunnel he picks up the wreck on the other side in the shovel. Seein' that litl rooster and Peaeye are alive, Delmonico laughs at them. ;D
authors note>>>litl rooster has early morning spit take....?what ever happened to the forementioned Billy Swan,"I can help"?
With a startled look, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother stops watching the goings on, pulls her wand, waves it and is simply... gone, leaving behind a scattering of glittering sawdust.
I sure hope the temporary rail town didn't upset her! :o
Sod Buster can still hear some of the lyrics in his head that wafted over the prairie last evening from the Jerry Jeff Walker concert:
And it's up against the wall Redneck Mother.
Mother, who has raised her son so well.
He's thirty-four, drinkin' in a honky tonk.
"What's he doin' down there?"
Kicking hippies asses and raising hell.
"He drives a 57 GMC Pickup Truck, "Goat Ropers Need Love Too" bumper sticker.
<Well if'n he plays again we'll all have to go. ;D>
Delmonico sits on the porch, eatin anchovie pizza fer breakfast, watchin' the rails go down and wonderin' what happened to Trinity. ;D
Pea Eye nips the errant cowboy (un concisece from the wreck) on the hinny. He slowly awakens with a goose egg on his forehead, feeling the soreness and the dried blooded, litl' rooster ask if Pea Eye ifn' we run into one of those Dalton Brothers. Pea Eye turns his hind end to the stumpling cowboy and lifts a foot in warning, then strikes his feed box with a forefoot. Knowing the Bay horse like knowing the Sandhill's, I go for his bucket of oats.. He's hungry and mad for something I done but ,I am not sure what that might be. Just feed him and leave him alone
Trinity wakes up in a bloody pile behind the Hell On Wheels Music Hall ©. He bends over to pick up two yellow items lying in the mud and heads home.
Finding Del on the front porch when he gets home, Trinity procedes to tell him how ungracious everyone was when he began to play the jug to the Pickup-Truck Song. He then shows Del his teeth that they had knocked out.
Trinity calms down and lays in the hammock and begins to hum the tune of "Trashy Women". The furst cue that the evening wasn't going well down at the music hall should have been was when Trinity requested that song for the third time in a row and the entire place quieted and turned to glare at him.
Well I was raised in a sophisticated kind of style
But my taste in music and women drove my folks half wild
Mom and Dad had a plan for me, it was debutantes and symphonies
But I like my music hot I like my women wild
Hey I like my women just a tad on the trashy side
When they wear their clothes too tight and their hair is dyed
Too much lipstick and too much rouge
Gets me excited, leaves me feeling confused
Yeah I like my women just a tad on the trashy side
Well you should have seen the look on the faces of my Dad and Mom
When I showed up at the door with my date for the senior prom
They said, "Pardon us son, she ain't no kid,
That's a cocktail waitress in a Dolly Parton wig"
I said, "I know it Dad, ain't she cool? That the kind I dig."
Hey well I like my women just a tad on the trashy side
When they wear their clothes too tight and their hair is died
Too much lipstick and too much rouge
Gets me excited, leaves me feeling confused
Hey I like my women just a tad on the trashy side. (When they wear them High Heels!)
Yeah, I like 'em sweet. I like 'em with a heart of gold
Hey I like 'em brassy. I like 'em brazen and bold.
They say opposites attract, but I don't agree
I need a woman as tacky as me
Hey I like my women just a tad on the trashy side
Yeah well I like my women just a tad on the trashy side
When they wear their clothes too tight and their hair is dyed
Too much lipstick and too much rouge
Gets me excited, leaves me feeling confused
Hey I like my women just a tad on the trashy side
Yeah, I like my women just a tad on the trashy side.
<Authors Note, never sing this with the radio in the car if yer wife is in the front seat. :o :o ::) ::) ::) ;D ;)>
Enduring Trinity's off-key singing Irish gets a plate of bacon and eggs from he stove and a cup of coffee and sits on the porsh to see what happens next.
:D Brazos workin' on his second helping of breakfast on the porch, sees Lucky sitting on the Porsche 8) and says, " Gee, Lucky in your last post you said you was sittin on your porsh, I did not know they had them things back in those days, but sure enough there you are!" ;D ;D ;D
<Author's Note - Brazos should not pay attention to how a drunken Irishman pronounces porch-> ;D
Delmonico comes fron dunning with a large freight wagon of groceries. He drags out the chuckwagon and it's trailer and starts cleanin' it up. ;D
"You heathens is gonna have to fend fer yerselves startin' Thursday, Slim and the FFg are already gone and me and gopher Grease is headed out fer Kansas. The rails should be done saturday and the town should be gone by Sunday."
Brazos is rolling around on the porch a laughin' at his teasin' of ol' Tom! "No harm meant Tom, just struck my funny bone thats all!" He reaches for the Jug and hands it to Tom. "Have a bit o' the brew, "Heck Trinity won't mind!"
Brazos looks at Del fillin' up the wagon with vittles. A frown forms on his face. " Well, I won't be able to partake of your cookin' while you are in Kansas, but I sure hope those folks over there appreciate your cookin' fer them! Have a safe trip and don't break an axle. ;D
(Another note by that Arthur fella: whisper mode on: Hey Tom, no insult intended cause they is a fine automobile, got one to prove it!)
<Authors note, T'won't do me much good, ya can't haul many dutch ovens in one. ;D>
<authors question???> don't dem Porshes have a horse on the fender,? Maybe Lucky was just meanin he was sittin on his horse.
<authors note> You Newbrassky people, this current issue (November) of Western Horseman, features a Nebraska Ranch, that still operates in the tradion of Cowboy ways
Quote from: litl rooster on October 25, 2005, 07:14:31 PM
<authors question???> don't dem Porshes have a horse on the fender,? Maybe Lucky was just meanin he was sittin on his horse.
<<It also has some fishbones on it. What does that mean??? Were he eatin' fish while sittin' on the horse??>>
(http://users.libero.it/italfon/porsche/Porsche-30_800.jpg)
<Authors note: Yer thinkin' of Fee-rarrr-rees. Thats one of those winged horse's advertisin' Skelly gasoline. ;D ;D Will check it out, might be one of my customers.>
Quote from: Brazos Bucky Smith on October 25, 2005, 04:25:37 PM
Brazos is rolling around on the porch a laughin' at his teasin' of ol' Tom! "No harm meant Tom, just struck my funny bone thats all!" He reaches for the Jug and hands it to Tom. "Have a bit o' the brew, "Heck Trinity won't mind!"
*hic* "Naw, Ah wonnn mahnd. Have yerssshhhelf shhhome!" *hic*
Trinity holds up his own jug and sings again:
"When Iiiirissssh eyesh ish shmiling,
Sssssure, 'tiss like the morn in Shpring.
In the lilt of Irisssh laughter
You kin hear the angelsh shing.
When Irisssh heartsh ish happy,
All the world sheemsh bright and gay.
And when Irisssh eyesh ish shmiling,
Ssshure, they shteal yer heart away."
Delmonico continues to pack the chuck wagon and trailer with groceries. ;D
:o :o "Hesssh, takin' awll tha food!!!"
We's gonna hafta go huntin! :o
Delmonico don't tell them he's only packin' the groceries fronm town. ;D sides that their's eggs that will een gathered, a cow to be milked, they could get Stoney Pete to butcher a hog. ;D ;D
Instead, "well I hear tell their is Eller-funks up north of here, don't forget there are Sand Catfish in the blowouts in the hills. ;D And if ya ain't fast enough to catch any of those, litl rooster has a heard of "Slow Ellk" out there." :D :D
:o Trinity looks up, nervously. "Whazzat ya said ya saw in them hills? ...Ah'll jest say rah't now, it weren't mahn!"
Delmonico gets up in the seat of the chuckwagon and heads south to Kansas. The note he left in the kitchen say's "See ya heathens late Sunday or Monday." ;D
Trinity looks at the strange piece of paper with squigly lines all over it. Deciding it must be refuse, he finally uses it to start the fire. It's getting cold outside.
Irish walks in and sees that Trinity has started a fire and smiles. We's okay Trinity, I think them chickens iz magical, Irish holds up a basket of eggs, They jest sorta appeared in tha hay they set in. Then Slim's cow started moanin an I figgered it had a tummy ache cuz that's whut you do when ya eat too much. Anyhows I started rubbin its belly an afore ya knowed I had this here bucket a milk! Did'n know Slim were a magician, but I guess that's why he keeps them magical animals! ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on October 25, 2005, 10:57:31 PM
Delmonico don't tell them he's only packin' the groceries fronm town. ;D sides that their's eggs that will een gathered, a cow to be milked, they could get Stoney Pete to butcher a hog. ;D ;D
Instead, "well I hear tell their is Eller-funks up north of here, don't forget there are Sand Catfish in the blowouts in the hills. ;D And if ya ain't fast enough to catch any of those, litl rooster has a heard of "Slow Ellk" out there." :D :D
knowing dem fellas at the Ranch ain't all that fast, I've shot a nice young deer and got it skinned and hangin' and can start to cuttin' on it in the mornin'..That should keep dem fellas from taking pot shots at my sloooooooow elk (author's note I hadn't heard that term in sometime now, they also known as Soth Dakota elk) and scattering dem all over the territory.
In Delmonico's and the FFG's absence, Trinity decides to do the cooking for the crew. Also amazed at Lucky's find, Trinity takes fifteen eggs from him and throws them into the now hot skillet and stirs it all until it solidifies. He cuts it into portions and serves it on a plate with a healthy douse of Ketchup to all the pards present.
"Wail, what do you all think? Should Ah take the cookin' responsibilities over from Dail?"
After a few crunchy mouthfuls Irish looks at Trinity, Lad I hata ta tell ya this but yer not supposed ta cook tha aigshells too!
*crunch* *crunch* *crunch* "Aig- what? This is how mama made it! Whats wrong with it? Mama always said: 'Waste not-wan't not'. Sometimes she'd let the end of her ceegars drop into the pan. She called it Seesnin'"
Seein' trouble in the kitchen, I've cut the backstraps out of the deer and head to the kitchen. Heating some lard in the big skillet, and start cutting the venison in 1" steaks. Rolling them in a mixture of Flour peppers and them dipping them in a mix of egg and milk, to return them to flour mix. Setting them aside while the lard heats, I prepare the rest of the meal. Biscuits now in the dutch, I place the seasoned meat in the hot grease and cook each side till golden brown. Removing them to a plate I now start a nice mix of milk gravy, and scramble the remainder of the eggs, Lucky found. All finished I place in Delmonico' good "Wedgewood" china and set on the warm side of the stove. Filling a plate fer myself and adding 2 extra bisicuits(1 fer Pea Eye and 1 fer DOS) I head to the barn to enjoy. Yelling out to the others help ya selves but clean up yer mess ;D
Irish decides to let Trinity finish the last of his "Egg Surprise" and fills himself a heaping plate of litl rooster's vittles. Thanks, he hollers to litl rooter between stuffing big mouthfuls of the venison steak in his craw. ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother appears with a scattering of glittering sawdust at the bottom of the steps. Her hands filled with carpet bags, she climbs the steps and greets Daisy and Claire. "Where're your puppies, ladies?" The dogs don't care, they bound around her.
She stops on the porch to set down her bags and gives Irish Tom a hug. "That smells good, who'd you get to cook, Litl' Rooster? I sure hope Trinity didn't try to cook."
Propping the front door open with her foot, she retrieves her bags and heads inside. She pauses at Delmonico's door to laugh. Daisy and Claire have moved the puppies to the space in the door where Delmonico used to place Duke when he played music.
Trinity stumbles down the steps and enters the kitchen and calls out at the top of his lungs: "Ahm makin' braikfist.... er lunch. Who wants some?"
He sees the plate sitting on the stove with the venison and eggs and eats it all in about four bites. "Hmm! T'ain' bad, but it's missin' somethin'"
Irish helps FFg with her bags and tells her of the meal Trinity prepared! He says litl rooster showed up and prepared a good meal. but I don't think trinity has left any of it for you to try. Want me to put on some coffee for ya?
Trinity hears Lucky and the FFG talking out in the hallway and prepares a cup of coffee for the FFG and takes it to her.
"Howdy Miss FFG, Ah shore hope ya haid a good tahm on that Island with them pool fellers runnin' all about! Here, Ah made a special pot of coffee fer ya. One flake of coffee per cup, just as ya lahk it."
"Kin Ah hailp ya with yer stuff?"
Trinity reaches and grabs her parasol and takes it upstairs.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother grins and shakes her head after Trinity, then hands her cup to Lucky. "Could I please have a few more flakes in this? I'm not that much of a wimp!"
(Author's note: How did Trinity know I got a new parasol in Belgium? Their lace is exquisite!)
Trinity places the FFG's new parasol inside the door of the FFG's room and wipes sweat from his brow. "Whew, tahm fer a nap!"
With that, he goes into his room and looks at his bed, empty now of dogs but still messy from the birth of the puppies. He thinks for a moment then shrugs it off and flops down and falls fast asleep.
litl' rooster hears the comotion at the big house and goes to investigate.
In front of the house, I see FFg has brought back the most important thing from her trip (not waffles)
Irish goes and fixes the FFg a regular cup of coffee and takes it to her. While he was in the kitchen he looked out to the yard and noticed the team of Belgians tied in the yard, the lady definitely travels in style.
Admiring the matched set of Belgians, I decide to take a little joy ride ;D(do't need a slim jim and side cutters for this one) untieing the team and walking the reins back, I hop up in the seat, giving a little slack to their heads then pulling back, asking them to back. They do then I call come gee and the lead turns and we step out. the cadilac's of the big horses. ;D ;D ;D comes on my face as we roll down the road towards the Dismall.
The sound of someone yelling out in the yard like a madman awakens Trinity. He sits on the edge for a moment and then rubs his face and stands up. He looks down at the bed, makes a face then shrugs before heading downstairs.
On the stove is a pot of coffee, still warm. He fills a cup half full then, looking around to see if anyone is watching, he reaches way under the sink and brings back a jug. He pours the contents into his cup, filling it to the rim, and takes a deeep drink. He chuckles as he remembers the look on the Irish fellows back at home when they tried his version of Irish Coffee.
Delmonico pulls the chuckwagon into the barn, the food in the trailer is gone, all the dutch ovens and coffee pots are covered with soot, there is a bag of dirty clothes and there is no hair on the back of his hands or fingers. ;D
litl rooster rides out and Delmonico rides in, such a typical New-brass-key segue. Hey Del did Slim take yer special potion, I aint seen im come runnin by! About that time Trinity steps on to the porch with a cup of coffee that smells suspiciously like old socks and dead wet possums!
Delmonico looks and Hell on Wheels is gone. He gets in his steam shovel and heads to the Dismal to get the agrevate to line the fish pond with concrete so the water don't leak out. ::) ::) ::) ;D
Slim rides into the dooryard. "Howdy y'all!"
Not noticin' him Delmonico drops a load of sand on him. ;D He then heads back to the river for some gravel. ::)
Slim and his horse dig themselves outta the sand. Slim takes his horse to the barn.
Delmonico drops the load of sand and heads to the barn for portland cement. :o :o :o
From the porch, Trinity chuckles at Slims misfortune. He takes a sniff at his coffee, smiles and drinks. As Slim walks up, he holds up his mug and asks: "D'ya wan' a cup? Ah made it!"
"Uuuuuuuuh, no thanks I'll make my own." Slim walks into the kitchen to make some coffee.
Delmonico is out in the yard with a wooden trough mixin' concrete. ::)
By dark Delmonico has finished linin' the fish pond and has cleaned up his hoe, trowels and the trough and wrote his name in the wet concrete. ;D
litl' rooster heads into Dunning with the team FFg brought back with her. Upon reaching the city, I am stopped by group of Townies who are willing to pay 2 bits a person for a ride in the wagon...While traveling back along the Dismall I get this ideal> if'n they are willing to pay just for a ride in the wagon. How much would they be willing to pay to come stay at a real ranch. Then maybe help with the chores and fencing and such.....Ah that's crazy no one would ever pay to do that ;)
When Del's not looking, Trinity also writes his name in the cement.
Later, Duke chases Claire around the unfinished fish pond.
(http://home.iprimus.com.au/gumhaven/tenterfieldsa/oppscement.jpg)
Knowing that it is cold enough to freeze the pond solid, Delmonico orders a stock tank heater when he orders the goldfish. He figgers Slim can throw some coal into it every mornin' on his way to milk.
(Delmonico makes a note that with a littler over a month and a half till Christmas he needs to be really bad so that Santa will bring him a large amount of coal for Christmas. ;D)
With this in mind he fills Stoney Pete's coffee pot with wet concrete with soot from the stove pipe added. (Stoney will figger his coffee hardened) He then goes out to the range and finds a bull exacly the same color as Slim's milk cow and puts it in the stall in the barn and hides Slim's cow. ::) ::) :o :o :o :o
Next he puts coal oil in Trinity's jug and Irish Tom's bottle. Then with a runnin' iron he writes obsenities on the sides of several of litl roosters cow's. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
He then goes to the cupboard, gets a can of sardines and puts it in the FFg's fish pond. ;D ;D ;D
Irish sees Del and walks up with his bottle. Taking a long drink he looks sort of funny then says, Must be tha weather in these parts, but this tastes a wee bit weak this mornin! He then wanders over and adds his name to the list of notables christening the pond walls.
After dark, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother sneaks out, removes the sardines from the future pond, and adds her name as well, in a place away from the others.
Just before it sets completely, Delmonico writes POOP in the concrete. ;D
Slim walks out to the porch and sees writing in the cement pond. "The Vandals have attacked!"
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He runs to his room, locks the door behind him, grabs the "Mighty Ten", and peers out the window.
*Just* before the concrete sets, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother looks up to Slim's window and grins. She takes out a BIG stick and all around Delmonico's word, she writes Slim's name in GIGANTIC, easily read letters.
With the concrete set, Delmonico runs a pipe from the windmill and fills the pond. As it gets done the tank heater and the goldfish arrive. Delmonico looks at the paackages with the gooldfish in them, sees Pepperidge Farms on the sacks and realizes there has been a mix up. ;D ;D ::)
(http://www.pfgoldfish.com/images/gf_boomerhappy.gif)
;D ;D ;D
As the pond starts to fill, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother takes off her shoes and socks, then waves merrily to Slim. She knows he can read his own name from up there. Wading out of the pond, she snags a package of goldfish from Delmonico and munches on them on her way to the porch.
Slim unlocks the door with the "Mighty Ten" still in hand and walks down to the porch. "I thought them Vandals had come o'er from North Africa. Ya sure t'weren't them?"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother tosses a few goldfish to Slim before sitting to put her shoes and socks back on.
"Well," she ponders, "I'm not sure I know anyone named Van Dell, and if there was a Van Dell around here would he know everyone's names?"
She nibbles on another fish. "Then again, perhaps the person is related to Del-monico? Mayhaps one of his Dutch relatives?"
No Slim, Nebrassky was invaded by from the steppes of Russia, some dern fool brought over Brome Grass and now we can't get rid of it. ;D ;D ;D
Slim leans the "Mighty Ten" against the porch wall and takes a seat. "Takes ma'am. The eases my mind." He munches on the goldfish.
He hears what Del said. "Russian Cossacks!"
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He runs to his room, locks the door behind him, grabs the "Mighty Ten", and peers out the window.
(http://www.russianfolk.com/Images/cossacks/Ouraletz.jpg)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother continues to contentedly munch. She calls upstairs, "Slim, why are you running? He looks like he could be one of your relatives! Maybe a tad grumpier than you, but definitely not as paranoid!"
Slim calls down, "Who ya callin' paranoid?" "By the by, I don't think I have any Russian relatives." ???
She yells back up, "I'm calling you paranoid, you and that shotgun!" She pauses to look at the cossack once more.
"Hmm. Maybe he looks more like Stoney Pete?"
I don't care who he's relatewd to, search him, if he has brome grass seed shoot him and burn the seed. ;D ;D ;D ;D
"I'd say we shoot 'im then search 'im. Since I'm the paranoid one." ::)
Just don't let him spread brome seed. ;D
"How 'bout wheat seed?"
As long as it ain't got no tumbleweed seed in it, it's ok. ;D
Irish offers tha feller with tha ugly hoss an tha funny hairdo a drink an sez, What's yer name pard?
The Cossack replies, Mils Yenots!
"Hey thar feller wif tha funny hat. Ya wan' some likker Ah made from taters?"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother stares at the Russian, then mumbles. "I do think one of Slim's forefathers was a 'travelin' man.'"
(http://members.aol.com/freyamomus/cossack.jpg)
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Looking closer at the russian, Trinity rubs his eyes and looks again. "Say, you look like our pard Silver Creek Slim, Da?"
Delmonico 'members he fergot about Sodbuster so he puts one of litl roosters calfs in sSodbusters corral and watches mamma protest. ;D
<There's gonna be plenty of coal this winter.>
Agrees with Lucky that horse is uglier than guy riding it.
Darn he looks like Slim ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Make note to order coal
Just be bad and Santa will deliver. ;D ;D ;D
The cossack nods.
Hey Slim, that there russky feller keeps looking at you and sayin Da, you got chillins from a Ferin land?
Quote from: Brazos Bucky Smith on October 25, 2005, 04:25:37 PMHey Tom, no insult intended cause they is a fine automobile, got one to prove it!)
Author's note:
Now, I understand what you meant when you said you had big pockets. ::)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother looks up at the man on the horse. "Would you like some coffee, Mils Yenots?"
The Russian repeats, "da."
So, she gets up to pour a cup, adding some extra into the pot to make it really thick, and takes it out to the stranger.
A delivery wagon pulls up, Delmonico goes out, gets the real goldfish and puts them in the pond. His eye is on the Cossack to make sure he ain't spreadin' Brome grass. ::) :o :o ;)
After handing over the cup, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother watches Delmonico stock the pond. Suddenly, her face lights up.
"You're talking Jabberwocky!! Now I understand! Twas brillig, and the slithy toves, Did gyre and gimble in the wabe, All mimsy were the borogoves, and the brome grass outgrabe!"
With a triumphant grin, she meanders back to the porch.
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on November 04, 2005, 07:32:43 AM
Hey Slim, that there russky feller keeps looking at you and sayin Da, you got chillins from a Ferin land?
"Not that I know of."
Quote from: AnnieLee on November 04, 2005, 09:29:42 AM
After handing over the cup, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother watches Delmonico stock the pond. Suddenly, her face lights up.
"You're talking Jabberwocky!! Now I understand! Twas brillig, and the slithy toves, Did gyre and gimble in the wabe, All mimsy were the borogoves, and the brome grass outgrabe!"
With a triumphant grin, she meanders back to the porch.
"Huh?" ???
<Authors Note: Slim help me here, did you find up in SD that the Chinese Chickens were in the Brome Grass or the Native Prarie Grass most of the time? Brome grass is as bad a curse of the prairie as cedar trees. :o :o :o :o>
<Arthur's note: Don't remember seeing much Brome grass.>
(http://www.marion.ohio-state.edu/prairie/cDowny%20Brome%20Grass.jpg)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother frowns then goes upstairs to her room. A few minutes later, she comes back down.
"Here! It's in Through the Looking-Glass and What Alice Found There, written by Lewis Carroll in 1872! Jabberwocky! Brome grass outgrabe!!"
With a humph, she flings herself into her rocker.
"Yes, but what does it mean in plain English?" ;D
"Well, according to Delmonico's paranoia, the brome grass outgrabe, or outgrew its confines and is going to be spread by your cousin Mils over there."
A small smile and she picks up her crocheting.
"Oh."
<It's taken over in SE Newbrassky, pushin' out the more desirable Native grasses. It is to the grass world what the Starling is to the US bird world.>
With the fish pond finished, Delmonico parks the steam shovel for later use and ponders on his next adventure. :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o
Meanwhile, the puppies break out of Delmonico's door to tumble into his room. They immediately begin to chew on everything within reach and poop all over the floor, doing their part to earn coal for Christmas.
Slim goes to the barn to milch the cow and gather eggs. He comes outta the barn and yells, "Who changed my cow into a bull?!?!" >:( >:( >:( >:(
Slim
<Author's Note: Delmonico does not comment cause he don't want censored by the moderator of this forum.>
Delmonico just cleans up the mess and plots the next adventure. ;D ;D :o :o ::)
Irish walks away from the cossack and over to Del. Hey del lookit tha funny plants Mils done got in iz saddlebags!
http://easyweb.easynet.co.uk/~iany/patterns/brome_grass.htm (http://easyweb.easynet.co.uk/~iany/patterns/brome_grass.htm)
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on November 04, 2005, 01:32:05 PM
Slim goes to the barn to milch the cow and gather eggs. He comes outta the barn and yells, "Who changed my cow into a bull?!?!" >:( >:( >:( >:(
Slim
Did ya notice that before or after you started milching?
Quote from: Delmonico on November 03, 2005, 07:36:01 PM
Delmonico 'members he fergot about Sodbuster so he puts one of litl roosters calfs in sSodbusters corral and watches mamma protest. ;D
<There's gonna be plenty of coal this winter.>
Sodbuster comes out of his sod house and notices the new addition and wonders where it came from or how it got there. Someone is gonna be looking for it soon. Perhaps it is time to have veal for dinner?
Quote from: Sod Buster on November 04, 2005, 06:16:44 PM
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on November 04, 2005, 01:32:05 PM
Slim goes to the barn to milch the cow and gather eggs. He comes outta the barn and yells, "Who changed my cow into a bull?!?!" >:( >:( >:( >:(
Slim
Did ya notice that before or after you started milching?
"Before!" >:(
"I'll have ta deal with that on Monday since it's time ta head Northeast. See ya'll later." Slim gets the "Mighty Ten", saddles his horse, and rides away.
"Awl tha same, Ah don't wanna drank what slims carries in that bucket no more!" :P :P
Delmonico goes to the kitchen for sumthin' to eat and finds out that not only is the Cossack spreadin' Brome grass round the country, he's put bacteria in all the milk and it's turned to yogurt. :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P
author's note the Rusky's get blamed for Knapp weed and Thistle also....Bromme grass is also running rampant here in Virginny
The calf's mother stands outside the fence. She looks at Sod Buster with those sad cow eyes of hers and gives a low, heartbreaking moo.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother waves to Slim and takes up the pail and basket. Going out to the barn, she looks at the bull. He stares back at her. It's a standoff until she slowly pulls her wand. The bull's eyes tighten and he starts to lower his head. But before he can charge her, ***POOF*** he's back where he belongs and the milching cow is in his place.
With a smile, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother pets her head. "Come on, Bessie, let's relieve your load."
A little while later, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother whistles merrily as she wanders back to the house with a full pail and basket full of eggs.
Delmonico goes out and writes on the udders of Slim's cow, Skim, 2%, Whole and Chock-o-lite.
::) ::) ::) :o :o ;D ;D ;)
Irish has been wandering around the yard when suddenly he spies something, He runs to the kitchen to find the FFg. Stuttering and sputtering he is unable to blurt out what he wants to say, grabbing the FFg by the arm he motions for her to follow him outside. Once outside all he can do is gesture toward the pond. There floating in the middle is the physical representation of what Delmonico wrote in the cement at the bottom! :o
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother stares as the storm gathers in her face.
"Who in the BLUE BLAZES POOPED IN THE POND?"
Delmonico goes over to see what the problem is, "Don't know I didn't, it ain't got no corn in it so it wern't Trinity, and Baby Ruth bars ain't been invented. ::) ::) ::) :P
Delmonico counts the fish, three are missin' and there are raccoon tracks near by. "A raccoon did it and then ate three of our goldfish."
Delmonico goes and uncancels his order for the steam engine and roller. "It's time to make another F.R.I.S.B.E.E." ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
"Dail's right! Ah din't poop in the food trough, Ah know ta go in tha river where that there tube ends."
"Say, uh, Miss FFG... whar did that pail come from?"
"Slim ain't here so she milked his cow."
"Ya want it cold, we can put it in liquid nitrogen." ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother looks from Trinity to Delmonico and back again. Finally she just gives up, shakes her head and puts the milk and eggs away.
scratchn' my head and wondering why the Bull is coming from the barn and why he looks so disgraced :o
"Ah jus' don' wan' no meelk from that thar pail what Slim used ta milk tha bull inta!! :P :P"
Quote from: AnnieLee on November 05, 2005, 04:31:03 AM
The calf's mother stands outside the fence. She looks at Sod Buster with those sad cow eyes of hers and gives a low, heartbreaking moo.
All of the sad mooing got to Sod Buster and he decided to return the calf to it's mother. He ties a rope around it's neck and takes to back to the Ranch where it's mother is waiting.
Delmonico leave a note on the table: "Gone to Omaha on the train to stock up on groceries for winter. Be back in a few days."
He goes to the barn and hitches up a team of mules to the wagon. Havin' another thought he wirtes another note: "If the new steam engine comes, don't let Slim or Trinity play with it." ;D ;D ;D
And east to Dunning he goes. ;)
Slim rides into the door yard. He puts his horse away and takes his shotgun and saddlebags into the house. He puts the cheese in the icebox and calls, "Is anyone home?"
As Delmonico rides down river he almost falls out of the wagon laughin'. There are cattle with strange brands: @$ %*$^#, %&#$ %#@ and the ever popular *&# @$*%. ;D ;D ;D ;D
??? ??? ??? ???
A short while later several wagons roll into the yard and unload some rather large boxes with Delmonico's name on them. Irish goes to find Slim.
<Authors Note: Slim they are litl roosters cows that I branded obsinities on to get more coal at Christmas. ;D>
Delmonico has taken his heavy bed roll cause it's a two day trip to Dunning. He finds wood, pitches his tent and makes some supper. Meanwhile Irish Tom has eaten all the cheese that Slim brought and is now so stopped up he's lookin' fer the castor oil. :o
Trinity walks into the kitchen and finds another slip of paper with strange marks on it. Again, he decides it is unimportant and uses it to start the stove for his hot chocolate. When it turns chilly outside, Trinity likes to have a hot toddy in the evening... hot chocolate with a splash of something special.
Quote from: Delmonico on November 07, 2005, 06:18:00 PM
<Authors Note: Slim they are litl roosters cows that I branded obsinities on to get more coal at Christmas. ;D>
<Arthur's note: Ooooooooooooooooooooooh! We need alot of coal since there ain't many trees at here and Buff chips ain't as good as coal. ;D >
Slim goes out to the porch and sees the boxes the Del's name on it. He wonders what Del is up to now.
Delmonico reaches Dunning and puts the mules an wagon up in the livery stable. He then goes and gets a haircut and a bath, he then catches the east bond train to Omaha. ::) :o :o ;)
Authur sneaks in and leaves another note < Is Delmonico going to get his mustasche trimmed too?> ???
Quote from: Brazos Bucky Smith on November 08, 2005, 12:04:59 PM
Authur sneaks in and leaves another note < Is Delmonico going to get his mustasche trimmed too?> ???
<Arthur's Note: I would hope not. ;D>
Delmonico is headed east and is kicking back after havin' a butter basted Porter House Steak in the dinin' car along with fresh rolls a baked tater with butter, chives and sour cream and a hunk of apple raisin pie. ;D ;D ;D
Delconoico inadvertently lets out a mighty belch ;D while he is in the process of settling himself. :o The lady sitting across from him looks at him indignantly! "How uncouth I must say!" she intones! >:(
Then the stuck up lady lets out a pffffffffft sound and the flatulance is so bad the windows on the car have to be opened. ::) :P
Slim goes into the kitchen to start fresh coffee. He puts a fresh pot on the stove. He stirs the fire and adds a couple logs. He goes to the icebox for a bite of cheese. "Hey! Where is all the cheese I brought yesterday?!?!?!" ??? >:( ??? >:( ??? >:(
Slim was thet a funny lookin yaller wheel thingy?
When Slim says yes Irish belches an sez, Well I aint seen it!
Then Irish holds hiz stomach an moans a little, Hey Slim did Del leave behind enny a thet caster oil? :P :-X :-[
Quote from: Delmonico on November 08, 2005, 04:02:52 PM
Then the stuck up lady lets out a pffffffffft sound and the flatulance is so bad the windows on the car have to be opened. ::) :P
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
Trinity looks over at the new picture of Delmonico hanging on the wall. "Wail, that proves it! Ah always knowed that he were puttin' grass clippin's in tha food!"
Quote from: Trinity on November 08, 2005, 07:38:44 PM
Trinity looks over at the new picture of Delmonico hanging on the wall. "Wail, that proves it! Ah always knowed that he were puttin' grass clippin's in tha food!"
And he has found a new use for grass: (http://images.neopets.com/items/food_wafflecone1.gif)
Trinity looks at what Sod Buster prepared and frowns: "It don' walk, crawl or slither, so Ah don' wan' it!"
<Author's Note: Trinity would have loved that bread, it was cool when I started it and added plenty of the commercial grade yeast to it, it got warm and the dough was in the sun, it was all I could do to keep it from slitherin' our of the dish pan. We were lucky it didn't grap the Marshalette when she took the picture, it was rockin' and rollin'. ask slim, I put the extra bit of dough uner his char and it tried to slither up his leg.>
In the early eveining the train pulls into Omaha and Delmonico gets a hotel room for the night, in the morning he'll do the grocery shopping. ;D ::)
Quote from: Trinity on November 08, 2005, 09:52:30 PM
Trinity looks at what Sod Buster prepared and frowns: "It don' walk, crawl or slither, so Ah don' wan' it!"
Sounds like what my cousin said once: "If it don't bleed, I don't eat it."
Delmonico got up eary and went to the wholesale grocery area, down by the river south of downtown. (Where Con-Agra Headquarters is today ;D) He visits several wholesalers and places orders to be shipped by train to Dunning. His work here over he heads to the train station and graps a seat on the west bound CB&Q. ;D
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on November 08, 2005, 06:12:16 PM
Slim was thet a funny lookin yaller wheel thingy?
When Slim says yes Irish belches an sez, Well I aint seen it!
Then Irish holds hiz stomach an moans a little, Hey Slim did Del leave behind enny a thet caster oil? :P :-X :-[
Slim pours himself a cup of coffee. "The castor oil is in the cupboard to the right of the cookstove. It's in the little clear bottle without a label."
In the dining car, Delmonico orders the Rocky Mountian Trout, stuffed with wild rice, brussel sprouts and a hunk of cheese cake. When the trout gets there he knows it's fresh cause it looks back at him. He takes the lttle fork and removes the delicate cheek meat first. ;D
Quote from: Sod Buster on November 09, 2005, 10:49:52 AM
Quote from: Trinity on November 08, 2005, 09:52:30 PM
Trinity looks at what Sod Buster prepared and frowns: "It don' walk, crawl or slither, so Ah don' wan' it!"
Sounds like what my cousin said once: "If it don't bleed, I don't eat it."
<<Alas, I must argue. ;D What do you think the white stuff is when you cut into a head of lettuce? To the vegetarians of the world, I say: Just 'cause it ain't red, don't mean it ain't blood. It serves the same purpose, don't it?>> ;D ;D ;D ;)
Trinity walks in from the porch where had been enjoying the unseasonably mild evening, and looks around the kitchen. "Dern! No food!"
He searches and finds a can of beans and then looks around for another piece of paper with squigley marks with which to start a fire. "Dangumm it. Thayre's usually one of them papers rotch here on tha table! Jest how is Ah 'posed ta start me tha stove?"
after seeing the obsenities on my cattle, I canceled the order for the coal...Instead I hook up the light wagon and head into the prarie to gather up Buff Chips. Using a running iron on another man's cattle usually get you hung, but thing the low BTU fuel source, should be pay back enough ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Trinity on November 08, 2005, 07:38:44 PM
Trinity looks over at the new picture of Delmonico hanging on the wall. "Wail, that proves it! Ah always knowed that he were puttin' grass clippin's in tha food!"
Being PC wouldn't that be Loco weed ;D ;D ;D ;D :o :o :o
<<No, it's just yard grass. It'll probably mess you up even more!>>
;D
<Arthur's note: Dawgs eat grass fer belly troubles. ;D>
Delmonico spent the night in Dunning at the hotel and starts back to the ranch in the mornin'. the groceries for the winter are to arrive early next week. ;D
<Authors Note: This is a bit of a dry run for my seminar in Feb. at the NCOWS Conv. ;D>
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on November 10, 2005, 09:47:19 AM
<Arthur's note: Dawgs eat grass fer belly troubles. ;D>
<Fred's note: Yeah... and then barf all over the rug!>
Delmonico finds a place to camp before dark, while fillin' his coffe pot in the Dismal, he spots some trouts 9 inches long or so in the pool. He smiles and knows they took, they'll be smiling and lookin' back from a plate next summer. ;D
Slim puts on a fresh pot of coffee. He goes out to collect milch and eggs.
Delmonico gets up amd makes breakfast, for somethin' different he has boughten some smoked hog jowls which he slices and frys up, mixing it with leftover taters from supper last night. Yep, he has hog jowl hash fer breakfast. ;D
After that he hitches the team and heads for the ranch. ::)
Delmonico gets to the ranch, puts the mules and wagon in the barn and heads to the house. He gets there, opens the door and says, "I'm home, whats going on around here?" ;)
Slim comes in with the milch and eggs. "Not much. Seems everyone headed fer the hills 'cept me." "Did ya find all the dry goods ya was lookin' fer?"
"I wern't lookin' fer dry goods, I was grocery shoppin'." ;D
"Alright, smarty pants, did ya find all the groceries ya was shoppin' fer?" :P
"Yep, they should be here Monday." ;D
<Authors Note: Dry goods is a noun meaning fabric, textiles and related articles such as clothing, thread and such. :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P>
<Arthur's note: I lernt my one new fact fer today. I can't lern anything new or my head will explode from the 'nowledge. N is for ... > ;D ;D ;D ;D
Having finally releived himself of the cheese Irish wanders in to see if Del brought any food!
"Well, Tom, I didn't know ya was 'round. Whatcha been doin'?" ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D Slim puts the milch and eggs in the icebox.
"Well y'all time fer me ta head fer Wiscoooooooooooonsin." Slim goes to his room and grabs the "Mighty Ten" and his saddlebags. He goes to the barn and saddle his horse. He climbs on his horse, heads northeast, and yells back to the house, "See y'all on Monday!"
Trinity walks from outside into the kitchen wide eyed. "Ya'll ain' gonna believe how large this pile of poo is out yonder by the barn!!! Oh, hey thar Irish. D'ya know anythin bout that?"
litl' rooster, passes Slim on the trail, and bids him a safe journey. Rides up to the barn and steps off his horse nearly in the largest pile of poo he has seen. After a wif I realize Stoney Pete must have cleaned his hog pens. Go into the house and see Delmonico studing his gorcery list. Del, I ask. Why would you go all the way to town, for Groceries, when you live on a Ranch? Slim brings Cheese and has a milk cow and hens, Stoney has his hogs, Trinty has his still's and and between him and Sod Buster, they have Korn. I have cattle. Then FFg has her gardens, with vegtables and flowers...Then there is Lucky Irish Tom, ooohhh never mind. You have all the groceries here that you could need. Now with the new pond and your released trout you have it all right here.
"Wait till they get here, ya won't belive what I ordered." ;D ;D ::)
Trinity leans over and whispers into litl rooster's ear "Ah don' thank that pahl were from Stoney's pigs... Ah thank it were Irish what done it!" (http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/misc/3.gif)
Realizin' something needs to be done, Delmonico goes out and looks behind the barn. He realizes only quick action will save them. He goes to the dugout and gets a bucket of coal and piles it on the yaller poop. He then goes to the barn and gets a bucket of coal oil and pours that on, a quick strike of a lucifer and the flames are leaping. ::) ::) ::) ::)
Three hours later when the flames die down he sees that the only damage is a large scorch mark on the side of the barn. ;D ;D
"Heck, Ah was beginnin' ta thank that derned pile was gonna burn like tha Flambé!"
<Authors Note: That would be repeatin' an old gag, we never scorched the paint onthe barn before. ;D ::)>
Delmonico comes into the kitchen and writes a note for Tom, "The extra barn paint is in the workshop in the barn, repait the scorch mark. Also if you eat that much cheese again, take a shovel with you and go over the hill." ;D ;D ;D
Trinity inspects the mark on the barn and whistles in admiration. "Ah don' thank Ah coulda ever lef' a mark lahk that!"
Delmonico says, "And only part of that was from the fire." ;D
Quote from: Trinity on November 11, 2005, 11:01:43 PM
Trinity inspects the mark on the barn and whistles in admiration. "Ah don' thank Ah coulda ever lef' a mark lahk that!"
Quote from: Delmonico on November 11, 2005, 11:17:07 PM
Delmonico says, "And only part of that was from the fire." ;D
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Trinity on November 11, 2005, 07:52:02 PM
Trinity leans over and whispers into litl rooster's ear "Ah don' thank that pahl were from Stoney's pigs... Ah thank it were Irish what done it!" (http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/misc/3.gif)
>pst< Trinty I know ;D
Del did not realize that Irish had paint in his wagon, so he uses that and sets to painting. The following morning when everyone awakens they will find the Barn painted a bright Kelly green!
:o"Irish, Ah don't thank ya orta be paintin' the whole barn. Jest pain' what Dail said ta, if'n ya know what's good fer all of us!
(http://www.hennemanauto.com/images/Green_Barn_sm.jpg)
When Irish Tom comes in fer supper, Delmonico sees the green paint all over him. figgerin' what he's done, Delmonico sends him to bed with out his supper, anchovy pizza. ;D
After seeing what's for supper, Trinity goes to the smokehouse and begins to eat on a ham.
Delmonico sees Trinity sneak out to the smokehouse, so he follows and locks the door from the out side. He then stokes up the fire box and puts in some nice maple to get a good smoke going. ;D ;D
<Authors note: If it's good fer hams it might be good for Trinity. ;D>
Things begin to warm up for Trinity, so he shucks his clothes, stuffs them in the flue and continues on gnawing on his ham.
Trinity's clothes are so ragged though the smoke just goes through. Delmonico hollors at him, "I'll let ya out if ya eat yer pizza, them bones in them anchovies has cal-see-um in them, they is good g\fer yer bones and teeth." ;D ;D
Misunderstanding Delmonico, Trinity thinks he is asking for a bone. Confused, but glad to please, he throws the bone of the ham he was just eating through the flue where it bounces out of the fire and lands at Delmonico's feet.
When Delmonico gets up in the mornin' the fire has gone out. He opens the door and looks, Trinity is sleepin' on the floor and has that nice amber smoked color. Suddenly Delmonico remembers, "I should have brined him fer a couple weeks or so, first." ;D
As he heads back to the house he remembers that Trinity is already pickled. ;D
The fresh air causes Trinity to wake up. He notices that his skin has changed color. He stares at it for a moment before licking to taste it.
"Mmmm!"
He shakes his head, grabs another ham and walks back to the house.
Brazos is sittin' in the rocker with his feet up on the rail. he sees Trinity comin' up the stairs and says "Mornin' Trinity, nice dark tan ya got there, and man, your sure smellin' better these days, what is it ode' du Hickory? ;D
litl rooster rides back to the Ranch with No Name and see's the Kelly Green barn. Think I took a wrong turn some where!?!? Then seeing Lucky's wagon sitting there with empty paint pails realizes he is not lost. wlking by the smoke house I notice there is trail of Ham bones to the house, realizing now Trinty must have needed a snack. Yep at home ;D Who painted the Barn, Del?
When Delmonico gets up the barn is now red. ???
What happened is Irish Tom stashes his whiskey behind the barn, when he got up this mornin' in the Dark, Delmonico had filled his bottles with red barn paint. When he drank with out lookin' it made him sick and the panit particles atomized and flew toward the barn. ;D ;D
However out behind the barn, Irish Tom looks like he's Kelly Green. ;D ;D ;D
Delmonico then waits for his groceries. ;D
A wagon comes up the road to the ranch, but it isn't Delmonico's groceries, it's the Frumpy Fairy Godmother with a pile of dry goods. Also in the back of the wagon is one of those new-fangled treadle sewing machines. With a smile, she climbs down from the wagon, pausing to retrieve a bundle of flannel.
"It's good to be back, who painted the barn?"
Slim rides into the dooryard and sees the FFg and the wagon full of dry goods. "Howdy, ma'am, good ta see yer back. I'll put my horse away and help ya unload the wagon." Slim leads his horse to the barn.
Well It's good to see you back, ya see anything of my groceries? You'll be busy keepin' them in line here, I've been havin' trouble with the whole bunch, even Slim. ;D
Why that durn Tom had to paint the barn twice ta get it right, trinity wouldn't eat his supper the other night. Just been a bunch a problems they have been. ;D ;D
"Me! I haven't been here fer two whole days!" >:( >:( >:( >:(
"Thank you, Slim!" The Frumpy Fairy Godmother looks over her shoulder to Delmonico. "Odd, they never give me any trouble. You, on the other hand... " her voice drifts away as she enters the house.
Slim comes from the barn with the "Mighty Ten" and saddlebags. He enters the house, puts the shotgun by the door, and puts the cheese in the icebox. "I hope the cheese lasts longer than last week." ::) He puts the saddlebags next to the shotgun and goes out to unload the wagon.
Lock that cheese up from Tom, yer cheese caused part of the problems. ;D ;D
The two freight wagons arrive and Delmonico has the teamsters unload the goods into the pantry and cellar. There are barrels, bags and airtights by the bunch. ;D
"Del, what was in the crates that arrived late last week while ya was off shoppin?"
Nuthin', I had them shipped just to make you wonder what I was up to. ;D
"Ok, I want that crate of canned anchovies in the pantry, right next to the crate of sardines. The canned salmon and the canned lobster should also be put right there, and don't forget the canned oysters need in the same place." ;D ;D
"It sure is smellin' fishy 'round here." ::)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother comes downstairs for another load of fabric. She pauses, seeing all the canned fish.
"Wow, dog food comes in tins, now?" With a wave of her wand, the canned fish is all relegated to neat stacks in the basement.
<Authors note: In this era of no iodized salt, the canned fish is important to folks on the plains, lack of iodine in the diet could cause goiters. :P :P :P>
this Author's note> I haven't clue what a Goiter is but, I don't like the sound of it...Could I try some of those little fish in oil?
Trinity is sitting on the porch watching all the traffic back and forth when he finally decides he should help. He quickly licks his arm and picks up a can of sardines that one of the teamsters had dropped and walks inside.
"Here Dail, Ah wanna help. Ah brung you this, whar do ya wan' it?"
<Author's Note: A goiter is when yer thyroid gland swells up from lack of iodine.>
Yeah, when Roy kicked me in the Thigh, darn thing swool up ten sizes. hurt for darn near a week. I didnt know you was suppose to put Iodine on it? Hey Trinity don't go an hurt yourself haulin' in all that fish in that beg can. ;D Hey Del, that is what ya mean when you've had your thigh Roy'd ?
Quote from: Delmonico on November 14, 2005, 06:22:14 PM
<Author's Note: A goiter is when yer thyroid gland swells up from lack of iodine.>
Nope don't want one of them things
Trinity drags slowly back to the porch after depositing the can in the basement and slumps in the rocking chair. As he wipes the sweat from his forehead, he says: "Whew! A'm tarred!! Kin someone please brang mah food out hair to me?"
Delmonico he's Trinity as he's directing the two 100 lb barrels of white flour and the barrel each of Graham (whole wheat) and the barrel of steel ground rye flour from Saline County.
He goes out to the airtights in the wagon and brings Trinity back a can of sparrow grass. (aspargus)
He then has the teamsters take the three 50 pound sacks of swamp seed (rice) to the pantry. ;D
The case of A-1 Steak Sauce is put in the cellar along with the case of Soy Sauce, Whorchestershire sauce and the Tabasco sauce. There are also four 1 gallon cans of sweet oil (olive oil) imported all the way from Italy. ;D So Trinity don't starve when no one is around to cook, there are several cases of pork and beans in cans.
Watch out Del, Trinity'll eat em can and all!
Daisy, Claire and the twelve puppies leap and bound after the Frumpy Fairy Godmother as she comes out for another load from the wagon. Seeing Trinity, they all come to a screeching halt, bark, then clamber over him.
With a shake of her head and a light laugh, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother has the treadle sewing machine taken upstairs to a now empty bedroom.
Quote from: Delmonico on November 14, 2005, 06:22:14 PM
<Author's Note: A goiter is when yer thyroid gland swells up from lack of iodine.>
(http://banglapedia.search.com.bd/Images/G_0146A.JPG)
<Arthur's note: Too much fish can cause gout. Moderation! ;D>
<Authors Note: Perhaps thats what this thread needs is moderation. ;D ;D ;D>
Delmonico notices that Slim's neck looks swelled so he hands him a can of oysters. ;D ;D
"Ya gots somtin less nasty than oysters."
Delmonico's feelin's are hurt from Slim being so curt with him, he just takes the can of wonderful oysters back to the cellar as Slim's neck continues to swell. ::) ::)
right in the middle of carrying a case of canned corned beef in, a blue light appears and Delmonico and the corned beef dissapear into an flying plate overhead. ::) ::) :o :o :o
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on November 15, 2005, 09:52:29 AM
<Arthur's note: Too much fish can cause gout. Moderation! ;D>
Goobers or Peanuts can also
Quick someone fast ...Grab Slim's Mighty 10 those dern blue flying plates is back...Now their stealing food instead of Delmonico
the Ozark Tracker comes riding in. getting down off his horse, he grabs his saddle bag and says he heard about Slim's problem down there in Arkansas, I done brought a healing potion for Slim, he announces and lowers his saddlebags to the ground, Slim runs over to the saddlebags and serches for the cure. Then he finds a can of it.
Trinity is all to happy to have the puppies about him. He is able to feed each one a stalk of sparrow grass. While they are munching (lucky that dog's taste buds are not as prolific as ours) Trinity goes back into the basement for a can of beans. On the steps he finds a can of moustache wax that had fallen from Delmonico's pocket during his ascent into the flying plate.
:o"That ain' lahk Dail ta leave this jus' anywheres! Ah hope he's ok!!"
Meanwhile back at his shack, Sod Buster is feeling happy so he breaks out in song:\
"Nebraskaland, Nebraskaland, upon thy burning soil I stand.
I look across the desert plains and wonder why it never rains.
But on this soil we're going to stay,
We're too damn poor to move away.
Nebraskaland, so fertile and rich, we think you are a...honey."
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother drops her load of fabric to make a rude, crude, and socially unacceptable gesture at the flying plate.
"That ain't right! You just had him, BRING HIM BACK!"
Irish sees the special blue light carry Delmonico and the Corned Beef into the flying blue plate. Irish pulls out his Sharps and lets fly, but only manages to knock the W off the Wedgewood on the underside of the flying plate! Where's Slim with the Mighty 10 when ya need im?
Slim runs in the house's front door, reaches 'round the corner, and produces the "Mighty 10". He throws it and the shotgun belt to litl rooster. "Let 'em have it! I'z goin' upstairs." He reaches his room, opens the window, and squeezes the trigger on the present that Gopher Grease brought him from the future. "BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM..." can be heard coming from the open window.
Hearing the BOOMS, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother drops her stack of linens as the flying plate zig-zags off to the distance.
"WAIT!! You're gonna hit the windmill!! And... HEY, that's coming from MY room!"
As the windmill takes a direct hit and starts to topple over, she is grabbing at her skirts to run up the stairs.
litl rooster manages to get both triggers pulled on the "mighty ten" smoke clears has he pulls the ears back one more time. Hot brass rains down from the upstairs window. Dagnabit... the blue _edgewood plates got off with the Corned beef.
Finally the smoke and noise stops...Noticing Trinty still dead asleep inthe hammock, and puppies scattered on the porch undisturbed and fat from "sparrow grass". I pick up the empty 10 ga brass and can't help myself.... ;D Out to Delmonico's shop I go, passing the toppled windmill as I go. Rummaging thru his loading equipment I find the right die and removed the ignitors from 2 of the empty casings, then finding some rubber cement paint a small bead of this glue around the opened end. Returning to the hammock where Trinty and the pups lie, ever so quietly I place 1 shell over each of his eyes. >I can't wait to see the reaction from Trinty when all he see's is the light at the end of the Tunnel< Back to the shop I go for some rope a ladder and some spanner wrenches, to repair the windmill.
Trinity's stomach begins to rumble and his slumber comes to an end. He opens his eyes and can't see except for a tiny dot of light that seems far off. Trinity panics. He runs toward the light, but it never nears. He continues to run like a wild man. He is torn to shreads from brush and low tree limbs, but Trinity feels no pain because he is so intent on exiting the tunnel. He runs madly flailing his arms about all the way into town where his journey comes to an abrupt halt where he runs into the side of the saloon and is knocked out cold. Luckily, he had just turned his head to the side and averted loosing his eyeballs permantly.
Quote from: Trinity on November 16, 2005, 08:40:23 PM
Trinity's stomach begins to rumble and his slumber comes to an end. He opens his eyes and can't see except for a tiny dot of light that seems far off. Trinity panics. He runs toward the light, but it never nears. He continues to run like a wild man. He is torn to shreads from brush and low tree limbs, but Trinity feels no pain because he is so intent on exiting the tunnel. He runs madly flailing his arms about all the way into town where his journey comes to an abrupt halt where he runs into the side of the saloon and is knocked out cold. Luckily, he had just turned his head to the side and averted loosing his eyeballs permantly.
<Arthur's note: Where's dem paper towels? My screen is wet. ;D>
Slim comes down from his room, disappointed that he didn't bring down the flying plate. He pours a cup of coffee and goes out to help litl rooster repair the windwill.
With a mournful howl, Duke follows after Slim and Litl' Rooster, determined to help somehow. Luckily, the windmill didn't fall on any of the cattle.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother heaves a sigh of relief when she remembers the BOOMER had been moved to Slim's room. She goes into his room, picks up all the empty casings and changes out the singed sheets and curtains.
After washing the linens, she starts on lunch: ham, beans, biscuits and greens. She figures they'll be hungry after their busy morning.
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on November 17, 2005, 10:28:09 AM
Quote from: Trinity on November 16, 2005, 08:40:23 PM
Trinity's stomach begins to rumble and his slumber comes to an end. He opens his eyes and can't see except for a tiny dot of light that seems far off. Trinity panics. He runs toward the light, but it never nears. He continues to run like a wild man. He is torn to shreads from brush and low tree limbs, but Trinity feels no pain because he is so intent on exiting the tunnel. He runs madly flailing his arms about all the way into town where his journey comes to an abrupt halt where he runs into the side of the saloon and is knocked out cold. Luckily, he had just turned his head to the side and averted loosing his eyeballs permantly.
<Arthur's note: Where's dem paper towels? My screen is wet. ;D>
Slim comes down from his room, disappointed that he didn't bring down the flying plate. He pours a cup of coffee and goes out to help litl rooster repair the windwill.
litl rooster tears off a chunk of paper towels and passes the remainder to Slim
Sitting on the wreackage of the windmill with Slim and Duke, debating if we needed to hitch a buggy and go to town and save Trinty, a object falls from the sky, Duke goes to it and stands point and sniffs.....Standing point as it was a pheasant. Slim and I notice it's one of Del's Corned beef cans, empty, Duke cleans up the smell with his tongue. Deciding to leave Trinty in town we start repairing the windmill. I climb to the top and hook the block and tackle and drop the loose ends of the rope. Where Slim ties on the tattered parts and Duke pulls the rope to hoist. > authors note< too bad we didn't have duct tape yet, this job would already be done....Slowly peiceing the parts back together. When a thought comes to me, I yell down to Slim, when you go back up to Wisconsin why don't you stop by those folks that made the Corned Beef "Hormel" and suggest they Can up some Shoulder of Pork and HAM. I bet it would be mighty tasty and sell good too.
Trinity finally comes too and sees a lady in the finest Parisian dress staring at him with a look of utter disgust on her face. Pressed into the folds of her dress is the face of her daughter, protected from seeing the disgusting man who apparently hadn't made it far from the saloon the night before.
Having no recollection of his horrible ordeal of the previous evening, Trinity rises and looks at the saloon. "Ah reckon Ah did drank a little too much last night. That might account fer this headache! Trinity picks up two 10 ga. casings lying on the ground: "Hmmm. Slim might could use these."
Looking at the saloon again: "Wail, gotta git me some hair of the dawg!"
Quote from: litl rooster on November 17, 2005, 06:03:16 PM
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on November 17, 2005, 10:28:09 AM
Quote from: Trinity on November 16, 2005, 08:40:23 PM
Trinity's stomach begins to rumble and his slumber comes to an end. He opens his eyes and can't see except for a tiny dot of light that seems far off. Trinity panics. He runs toward the light, but it never nears. He continues to run like a wild man. He is torn to shreads from brush and low tree limbs, but Trinity feels no pain because he is so intent on exiting the tunnel. He runs madly flailing his arms about all the way into town where his journey comes to an abrupt halt where he runs into the side of the saloon and is knocked out cold. Luckily, he had just turned his head to the side and averted loosing his eyeballs permantly.
<Arthur's note: Where's dem paper towels? My screen is wet. ;D>
Slim comes down from his room, disappointed that he didn't bring down the flying plate. He pours a cup of coffee and goes out to help litl rooster repair the windwill.
litl rooster tears off a chunk of paper towels and passes the remainder to Slim
<Arthur's note: Thankee pard. ;D>
Quote from: litl rooster on November 17, 2005, 07:34:41 PM
Sitting on the wreackage of the windmill with Slim and Duke, debating if we needed to hitch a buggy and go to town and save Trinty, a object falls from the sky, Duke goes to it and stands point and sniffs.....Standing point as it was a pheasant. Slim and I notice it's one of Del's Corned beef cans, empty, Duke cleans up the smell with his tongue. Deciding to leave Trinty in town we start repairing the windmill. I climb to the top and hook the block and tackle and drop the loose ends of the rope. Where Slim ties on the tattered parts and Duke pulls the rope to hoist. > authors note< too bad we didn't have duct tape yet, this job would already be done....Slowly peiceing the parts back together. When a thought comes to me, I yell down to Slim, when you go back up to Wisconsin why don't you stop by those folks that made the Corned Beef "Hormel" and suggest they Can up some Shoulder of Pork and HAM. I bet it would be mighty tasty and sell good too.
"I go right thru Austin on the way ta Wiscoooooooooooooonsin. I'll suggest that ta 'em." ;D
Finishing the repairs to the Windmill, I decide to hitch the team and Saddle Pea Eye. Loading the wagon with some salt blocks, and some other supplies I head to the bank in Dunning then on to Sod Busters, claim. Pea Eye follows along and Duke with his new found toy (the empty corned beef tin) jump in the wagon for the ride. Stopping by the Soddy, not to see Mr. Buster insight I leave a note and another payment for grazing there.> Note reads S.Buster, Here is a 2nd payment for grazing here, I will be out in the back section for the nite, tomorrow I will leave salt out and check herd. In 2 weeks I will return to move cattle to railhead for shipping. Fearing a hard cold winter coming. Will make final payment then....lr< Highlining the 3 horses between 2 cottonwoods, I gather some wood and make a camp beneath a cut bank to break wind, Duke huddle close to the tack and fire and shares my evening meal of dried Buff and some biscuits.
Quote from: litl rooster on November 18, 2005, 06:01:42 PM
Note reads S.Buster, Here is a 2nd payment for grazing here, I will be out in the back section for the nite, tomorrow I will leave salt out and check herd. In 2 weeks I will return to move cattle to railhead for shipping. Fearing a hard cold winter coming. Will make final payment then....lr
Sod Buster comes back from visiting a neighbor and sees the note and payment. Smiling he stuffs the money in his pocket and thinks maybe a weekend in town would be a good treat.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother finishes sorting the fabric and frowns. All the material and linens are there, but she forgot to get thread!
With a small sigh, she gets ready to go back to town. Daisy and Claire give her mournful looks.
"I dunno, ladies, will the puppies be all right without you?" She is answered with a bark from Daisy and two wagging tails. "Oh, ok, you can come along, too."
She leaves a note saying where she's going. The dogs leap into the surrey and she is off.
Rising early to the fridgged air, I stoke the fire. Somehow Duke has weasled my good Hudson from my bed roll and used it to stuff the hole at the end of my saddle that he is now a sleep under. While the coffee boils I fill the nose bags with some oats barley and korn for the horses. Drinking 2 cups of coffee, Duke finally crawls out and brings the tin to the fire, and drops it and pushes it to my feet. Durn dog took my blanket now wants my grub. I give him the last biscuit and piece of the dried meat. After a brisk ride thru the herd I return to the camp and hitch the team driving to the watering holes to leave salt, the cattle smell it and begin to follow along behind the wagon, Pea Eye and Duke. With the werk done here and the cattle looking sassy I head back to the Ranch. The wind coming from the north and a few clouds begin to form I move the team to a slow trot.
In the saloon Trinity downs his whiskey and orders another. While waiting, he finds Delmonico's tin of mustache wax in his pocket. He looks at it for a moment and then applies a dab to his eyebrows.
Quote from: Trinity on November 19, 2005, 06:36:53 PM
In the saloon Trinity downs his whiskey and orders another. While waiting, he finds Delmonico's tin of mustache wax in his pocket. He looks at it for a moment and then applies a dab to his eyebrows.
don't fergit to giv'em a little twist at the ends
Trinity had already done that and was working on his nose hairs.
Sod Buster walks into the saloon and sees what Trinity is up to.
(http://static.flickr.com/14/18367922_0f3f9d74e9_m.jpg)
He leaves and heads over to the hotel for a steak dinner and to find a bath. He had smelled too many sheep today.
Sod Buster with a pocket full of money and Trinty with a snort full of city likker, and both in town. I see an Arrest warrant being issued soon
On the way to the bath, Sod Buster sees something in the store window that he needs for his bath.....
(http://www.cppromos.com/catalog/images/is0067b.gif)
As the Frumpy Fairy Godmother heads down Main Street in her surrey, Claire suddenly stands up and leaps out onto the ground. Daisy is hot after her and they both disappear into the saloon.
Claire comes to a screeching halt when she finds Trinity. He smells right, but doesn't look right, so she stands there with her hackles up and starts to bark hysterically. Not wanting to be left out, Daisy joins in the racket.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother tethers Betty to a post and goes to look for the dogs. She hesitates when she finds they are in a saloon.
"Wail, hey thar girls! Whatcha doin in town?" asks Trinty as he reaches down to bet the rambunctous duo. "Whar is yer puppies?" Claire and Daisy just stare at him and bark.
Seeing the FFG peering inside, Trinity waves jerks his hand up to hail her inside and spills his whiskey. The dogs sniff at it but back away.
"DAISY!! CLAIRE!! Stop that!" When the Frumpy Fairy Godmother yells, the dogs quiet down, but they stay near Trinity. Embarassed for yelling and even more embarrassed for yelling outside a saloon of all places, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother's face turns a bright shade of red. She twiddles her fingertips by way of greeting to Trinity, but doesn't enter.
Irish had ridden into Town to see if any one had seen the flying plate carrying Delmonico and the Corned Beef. After being ridiculed by the Townfolk and having the Sheriff threaten to throw him in jail as a troublemaker Irish decides to get drunk. As he heads over to the Saloon he sees the FFg walk up to the Bat wings and holler "DAISY!" "CLAIRE!" and then turns red as Irish walks up beside her, he looks in and sees Trinity and his eyes get real big and then he tugs on FFg's sleeve and then points at Trinity's head.
(http://www.monobrow.com/monobro/images/bro-55.jpg)
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gives a sheepish smile to Irish Tom, then turns to look where he is pointing. "Oh my lands, what happened to Trinity's face? Did the flying plates get him, too?"
Trinity blushes and says: "Yeah, <chuckle> Maw always said mah eye brows were the most fetchin' thang 'bout me."
Slim please pass the paper towels back. ;D
While every one is in town a blue light comes down from the sky and drops Delmonico near the front porch, but the corned beef is off to the far reaches of the solar system.
about a hour out from the ranch, I see a blue glow cut thru the clouds then disappearing again. I snap the reins to get the team to step up. Could it be the flying plates return to steal more of Delmonico's winters stores?
Someone comes to the saloon to try to tell Trinity that Delmonico is back, but he is currently passed out, lying crumpled in the sawdust. Claire and Daisy have already gone back with the FFG to look after their puppies.
Delmonico changes into proper clothes and hangs his backward night shirt on the porch. ::) ::) He looks over the groceries and arranges some more in the panty and the cellar. ::) He puts the cans of maple syrup that look like a log cabin around the pantry to make a small village. ::) ::)
The saltine crackers from The National Biscuit company are in a nice pastboard box with the crackers wrapped it four sections with waxed paper. No more stale ones from a barrel. ;D ;D ;D there is both cocoa powder and cooking choc-o-lite in bars. There is even some bars of eatin' chock-o-lite in the stores, imported from Switzerland. These he'll save and give to Slim when he's headed to a gunfight. ;D ;D ;D But this time he'll know to not put it in his pocket and let it melt. ;D
There arer also several bottles of vannilla extract, these are loocked in his safe to keep Irish Tom and Trinity from drinkin' along with the lemon, orange, anise, pepper mint and other extracts. :o :o
There is a case of canned Vienna Sausage's, canned green beans, 'maters, peaches, peas and of course Trinity's favorite, corn. There is a barrel of brown sugar and a 100 pound bag of refined sugar, and a 25 pound bag of confectioner's sugar.
With the groceries put away, Delmonico goes out to see what he can do with the windmill. He goes to the shop and gets a three inch wide roll of 'Rawhide on a roll" (pioneer duct tape) with this he patches up the windmill much better. :o :o :o :o
He then goes into his office and gets Slim's present, since he does the milching Delmonico got him some "Udder Butter on a Rope" that way he can hang one round his neck before milchin'. (The Cally-for-ia cheese folks don't know it but real happy cows don't have chapped teats. ::) ::) ;D ;))
Finished up with that he heads to his room to take a nap. ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on November 22, 2005, 07:38:04 PM
Delmonico changes into proper clothes and hangs his backward night shirt on the porch. ::) ::) He looks over the groceries and arranges some more in the panty and the cellar. ::) He puts the cans of maple syrup that look like a log cabin around the pantry to make a small village. ::) ::)
The saltine crackers from The National Biscuit company are in a nice pastboard box with the crackers wrapped it four sections with waxed paper. No more stale ones from a barrel. ;D ;D ;D there is both cocoa powder and cooking choc-o-lite in bars. There is even some bars of eatin' chock-o-lite in the stores, imported from Switzerland. These he'll save and give to Slim when he's headed to a gunfight. ;D ;D ;D But this time he'll know to not put it in his pocket and let it melt. ;D
There arer also several bottles of vannilla extract, these are loocked in his safe to keep Irish Tom and Trinity from drinkin' along with the lemon, orange, anise, pepper mint and other extracts. :o :o
There is a case of canned Vienna Sausage's, canned green beans, 'maters, peaches, peas and of course Trinity's favorite, corn. There is a barrel of brown sugar and a 100 pound bag of refined sugar, and a 25 pound bag of confectioner's sugar.
With the groceries put away, Delmonico goes out to see what he can do with the windmill. He goes to the shop and gets a three inch wide roll of 'Rawhide on a roll" (pioneer duct tape) with this he patches up the windmill much better. :o :o :o :o
He then goes into his office and gets Slim's present, since he does the milching Delmonico got him some "Udder Butter on a Rope" that way he can hang one round his neck before milchin'. (The Cally-for-ia cheese folks don't know it but real happy cows don't have chapped teats. ::) ::) ;D ;))
Finished up with that he heads to his room to take a nap. ;D
WHERE are you doing the arranging??
Never mind, maybe I don't need to know.
When Trinity passes out on the floor of the saloon, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother sighs. She gives a nod and a small smile to Sod Buster, whom she has yet to meet, then looks to Irish Tom. "See that he gets back safely, all right?"
Claire and Daisy recognize Trinity once he's passed out. They jump on him and lick the mustache wax from his eyebrows and nose hairs, then go running to the Frumpy Fairy Godmother when she clicks at them. She strides off to get the thread she needs.
After a nice lunch and a little more shopping, she places her parcels in the surrey and heads back to the Ranch With No Name.
Complying with the FFg's wishes Irish loads up the comatose Trinity and heads back to the Ranch. He pulls in the yard and heads for tha Barn noting tha Del is back. Onc ehe takes care of Trinity he'll have to ask Del about them funny plate thingy's.
"Ya don't want to know Tom, they probe ya in places ya ought not be probed. They didn't feed me for four days and then they tried to make me try to eat green, orange, yaller and red gelatine cubes, they stick needles in yer arms and tubes in yer arms, they even stick tubes in yer nose. They e
got strange machins with lights they hook up ta ya that make weird noises. And worst of all they is always askin' 'bout yer poop! ::)
"And since you was a was gallivantin' round town I had to arrange things all by my self."
Suddenly from out of no where the sound of a Phil-harmonica Orc-er-strar floods in to the room, it is "The William Tell Over-ture. And with the The Lone Arranger goes to his office. ::) ::)
<Arthur's note: Here's the paper towels, litl rooster. ;D>
Slim goes to Del's door and says, "Good ta see the flying plate broughtcha back. Did they do much probing?'
Yep they did, ya don't want ta know. ::)
Bytw, here's some udder butter on a rope, I bought it with the groceries. ;D
(If we never here from litl rooster again it's cause his 'pewter blew up from coffee.)
"Thanks Del. Bessie will appreciate it. BTW, she needs milchin' now." Slim goes out to collect the milch.
"Hey will you bring some of that white cheese with the holes in it back, they do make it up there. (PC) I gots an Idea fer a great new samwhich." ;D
Slim puts the milch in the icebox. "Can do that, Del. Time fer me ta head fer Wiscoooooooonsin. See y'all later." Slim grabs the "Mighty Ten" and saddlebags. He gets on his horse and rides northeast.
Trinity wakes up in his bed and looks around. "Whar's Fraid, tha bartender? Oh, Ah'm home... how'd Ah git here??"
He drags downstairs and outside. Astride his horse he calls out to the house. "Happy Thanksgivin' ya'll!! Ah gotta go see some fambly down south-a-here an' eat an' drank some!"
With that, Trinity rides off.
Sod Buster picks up the remainder of the supplies he came to town for and heads back to his soddy. He is especially excited that the pecans he has been waiting for are here....just in time for the holidays.
smoke clears from litl rooster's magic ritin' box....and see's now that Delmonico has returned to the Ranch With No Name. Hearing the music coming from Del's room and Claire and Daisey busy with their pup's Duke runs to show them his new finds. After wiping the Harness and Tack clean and hanging, I fork some hay to the horses. Out behind the barn I begin plucking the fine turkey I harvested on the way back. This will make for a fine meal tomorrow for those who have stayed here. Afterwards i will load up the garbage and some shovels and rakes and go the county dump.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother rides in to find Slim and Trinity are away for the weekend. She brushes and feeds Betty, then stops to check on Bessie. Her eyes widen when she sees the udder butter, but she shakes her head and mutters to herself: "I don't want to know."
Rounding the corner, she waves and calls out a howdy to Litl' Rooster. "Please save the giblets? I'd like to use them in the gravy." She starts to walk away, then pauses and backpedals. "You know that man you are doing business with? The one across the way a piece? You think he might want to come for dinner? We have the space and maybe he'd like some company."
With a smile, she takes her parcels into the house.
If'n you mean the one with rubber duck? He might you might ride over and ask him...I hear tell he went to the bath house in town and wouldn't be to offencive to sit with. Placing the giblets and neck in a bowl of cold salt water (I don't know why, Mother always did)
<Authors Note: To remove more of the blood from the heart, liver and gizzard, don't forget to remove the grit from the gizzard, I know someone who didn't on the first couple of pheasnats her husband brought home. :P
<Nuther Note: Don't use any udder butter in the mashed tators, but if you want some they carry it upstairs at work. ;D But in the tub, not on a rope. ;D>
Sod Buster arose early on this Thanksgiving day and decided to pay a visit to the Ranch with No Name. He cannot even think about visitin' without bringing a gift so he cooks some Sodbuster Cornbread, Pecan Pie, and Spiced Pumpkin Pecan Butter. <yum>
Around noon, he loads up these items in the wagon and heads over to say Howdy.
A litle past 1pm, Sod Buster arrives at the Ranch. He unloads the gifts and walks up to the front door. He knocks and says "Howdy".
Delmonico opens the door and says: "Come on in," eyein' the pecan pie. When he sees that he's glad Slim didn't shoot him. ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother passes someone who looks vaguely familiar on her way to the man's place. When she gets there, she sees a lot of snakes but no people. With a shake of her head, she drives back to the Ranch. Once again, she stores the surrey, combs Betty and strides to the house.
Daisy, Duke, Claire and all the puppies nearly bowl her over as she steps onto the porch, making her laugh and driving away her grumpiness. She is smiling as she enters the kitchen, then laughs as she sees the stranger she had passed standing there with a pie in his hands.
Seein' the FFg enter the kitchen, Sod Buster introduces himself, presents his gifts, and wishes her a Happy Thanksgiving.
<Arthur's note: He is glad Slim didn't shoot him either! ;D >
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother greets Sod Buster as a member of the family with a hug and a smooch on the cheek. "Welcome! The house smells wonderful, has Delmonico been cooking?"
Delmonico comes out of the kitchen with his favorite purple flowered apron covered with flour. We gots turkey, I got us a Smithfield ham with the supplies also. We got's pull apart bread like my Grandma used to make (to be in the next Shootist and Cosies Corner.) We have Sweet taters (don't call them yams :P), we got mashed taters made with the ricer and turkey innards gravy. ;D
I made dried apricot cobbler, and a sourdough chock-o-lite orange cake. And there are many kinds of pickles, dill, sweet, bread and butter, beets and cally-flower.
Does everyone like pickles, I hope, cause thats bout the only thing you can do with a cucumber. ::)
<Authors note: If you get that one litl rooster there's no hope for you. ;D>
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gives a clap of delight then pauses, perplexed.
"Of course they're good for pickles. What else are cucumbers for?"
<Author's note: I am NOT about to go there. :P >
Quote from: AnnieLee on November 24, 2005, 07:53:50 PM
"Of course they're good for pickles. What else are cucumbers for?"
Well, FFg, since you asked, I have been doing some reading at Mr. Google's place:
DrinksCucumber Cocktails (non-alcoholic)
Cucumber Lemonade
Agua de Pepino (Cucumber Limeade)
GarnishesCucumber-Carrot Pinwheels
Cucumber Fans
Cucumber Lily
Appetizers and Side DishesCucumber Granita (Sorbet)
Cucumber-Salmon Pate
Fried Cucumbers
Mexican Cucumber Sticks (Big cucumber sticks)
Cucumber-Seafood Appetizers
Cold Stuffed Cucumber Appetizers
Tapenade in Cucumber
Cucumber and Asparagus Boats
Cucumber Mousse
Cucumber Aspic Ring
Su-no-Mono (Japanese cucumber and noodles)
Pecan Pancakes with Grilled Shrimp and Cucumber Salsa
Chicken Nuggets with Spicy Cucumber
Sandwiches and SpreadsEsther's English Cucumber Sandwiches
Cucumber Tea Sandwich with Tarragon Butter
Cucumber Canapes with Shrimp and Caviar (tea sandwiches)
Cucumber and Cheddar Sandwich
Aunt Dot's Cucumber Tea Sandwiches
Lamb Pockets with Dilled Cucumber Topping
Benedictine (cucumber spread)
Crunchy Cucumber Spread
Hot DishesChicken in Cucumber and Lemon Sauce
Chicken With Cucumbers
Grilled Halibut Steaks with Tomato, Cucumber, and Lemon Dressing
Poached Salmon with Cucumber Sauce
Lemon-Cucumber Stuffed Trout
Trevally and Cucumber in Cabbage Rolls
Fish Tacos with Cucumber Salsa
Baked Ham with Cucumber, Tarragon, and Mushroom Sauce
Shrimp and Cucumber Stirfry
Indonesian Fried Tofu with Cucumbers and Sprouts
Chicken and Cucumber Soba
Thai Fish Cakes with Cucumber Sauce (Tod Mun)
Curried Cucumbers
Hot Cucumbers in Cream Sauce
Baked Cucumbers
Cucumber au Gratin
Sauteed Cucumbers
Stuffed Cucumbers
Cold SaladsVinegar-based Cucumber Salads
Creamy Cucumber Salads
Cucumber Salad with Spicy Wasabi Dressing
Kyuri no sumomi (Japanese-style cucumbers (some very spicy!))
Cucumber and Pickled Plum Salad
Cucumber-Watermelon Salad
Cucumber-Jicama Salad
Cucumber Pineapple Salad
Cucumber, Corn, and Smoked Salmon Salad with Mustard-Maple Dressing
Spiced Cucumber Salad
Borage and Cucumbers in Sour Cream Dressing
Cucumber and Cottage Cheese Salad
Elleniki Salati (Greek Salad)
Salad-E Khiar Shur (Potato Pickle Salad)
Srpska Salat (Serbian Cucumber-Pepper Salad)
Curried Grains and Apple Supper Salad
Curried Corn Salad
Couscous Salad
Shepherd's Salad
Spinach Tortillini Salad
Ginger Peanut Pasta Salad
Thai Cucumber Salads and Relishes
Cucumber-Peanut Salad
Kisir
Dressings, Dips, and SaucesDilled Cucumber Dressing
Cucumber-Avocado Dip
Mast -o- Khiar (Iranian yogurt & cucumber dip)
Vellirikkai Thogayal
Cucumber Salsa
Cucumber Relish
Cucumber Marmalade
Cucumber Raita
Tsatsiki (Greek cucumbers and yogurt)
Garlic Greek Sauce
Cucumber Almond Sauce
Cucumber Ketchup
SoupsChilled Cucumber Soup (note: often with mint or dill)
Hot Cucumber Soup
Rosy Cucumber Soup
Cucumber-Avocado Soup
Cucumber-Bell Pepper Soup
Cucumber Apple Fresca
Cream of Green Pea and Cucumber Soup
Bulgarian Cucumber Soup
Cucumber Soup Cockaigne
Fish Soup with Cucumber
Gazpacho
Dill Pickle Soup
Japanese Cucumber and Beef Slice Soup
Russian Meat Soup with Cucumber
Turkish Cucumber Soup
MiscellaneousGeorgia Cucumber Jelly
well sell my horses and get one of dem fandangled "Indian" motor bikes
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gawks as Sod Buster rattles off a litany of recipes. The expression on her face clearly state "Oh, lands, not another one!" But when he is finished, she gives a small smile and says: "That's nice. Let's eat!" Then she glides to the bathroom to wash up for dinner.
litl' rooster comes in after taking his muddy boots off. Seeing Sod Buster cleaned and dressed up almost didn't recognize him....Then helps his self to a plate of fixin's, Ummmm Dried apricot cobbler and Pecan pie. Has Slim returned yet I inquire? Was looking forward to some of that cheese with holes in it, it goes best on Turkey sandwiches. Proceeding to the table, I inform the others I have harvested 2 more turkeys that are now hangin in the smoke house, for the up coming Holidays, I also shot some of them chinees chickens the State has turned loose, they are in the smoker also. Next week I will be butchering a fat...Delmonico will it be cool enough in the Ice house to hang there then? I think I'll go gather the milch from Slim's cow for the cream for our deserts, be back soon. Heading to the barn I see the puppies With No Names and some kittens following, what in pretell do they want.
Should be cool enough, I got's a XXX beef cut up and brinin'. I hope Slim brings enough cheese, I got a new samwhich to invent and I need that cheese and that brined beef I put the spices with. ;D ::)
<Authors Note: Don't talk about Sod Buster bein' cleaned and dressed as in the same thread as huntin' turkeys and butcherin' beef. Someone might think we's cannibals. Maybe later if the snow gets deep and we run out of supplies. :o>
;D this is Newbrassky right? Good thing, thought we relocated to Donner's pass
Give a whole new meaning to havin someone fer dinner! ;D
The puppies with no names and the kittens from nowhere tousle with each other for sprays from Bessie. Litl' Rooster's chuckles can be heard inside the house, where the Frumpy Fairy Godmother is busy washing dishes. The sound makes her smile.
A little while later, the puppies are scattered across the porch, in varied sprawls of sleep. Random kittens play with the Frumpy Fairy Godmother's balls of yarn as she attempts to crochet slippers for Slim's chicks. The Cat surveys the goings on with a smug smile and the Frumpy Fairy Godmother catches him.
"Did you sire these babies?"
The Cat doesn't answer, but his smile broadens.
Slim rides into the dooryard. He puts his horse in the barn and takes the "Mighty Ten" and his saddlebags to the porch. "Howdy ma'am. Y'all had a good Thanksgivin'?"
Quote from: Delmonico on November 24, 2005, 06:59:13 PM
Delmonico comes out of the kitchen with his favorite purple flowered apron covered with flour. We gots turkey, I got us a Smithfield ham with the supplies also. We got's pull apart bread like my Grandma used to make (to be in the next Shootist and Cosies Corner.) We have Sweet taters (don't call them yams :P), we got mashed taters made with the ricer and turkey innards gravy. ;D
I made dried apricot cobbler, and a sourdough chock-o-lite orange cake. And there are many kinds of pickles, dill, sweet, bread and butter, beets and cally-flower.
Does everyone like pickles, I hope, cause thats bout the only thing you can do with a cucumber. ::)
<Authors note: If you get that one litl rooster there's no hope for you. ;D>
<Arthur's note: "A 1926 Statute of Virginia (passed by the Virginia General Assembly) states,
'Genuine Smithfield hams [are those] cut from the carcasses of peanut-fed hogs, raised in the peanut-belt of the State of Virginia or the State of North Carolina, and which are cured, treated, smoked, and processed in the town of Smithfield, in the State of Virginia.'
In 1966 the peanut feed stipulation was removed.">
<Arthur's note 2: "turkey innards gravy"
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!> :o :o :o :o
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother leaps out of her rocker, scattering balls of yarn, kittens and puppies in her wake as she joyously hugs Slim.
"It was wonderful. Sod Buster, our neighbor, came in for dinner. We ate way too much. How was yours? How's the wife and twenty-five children? Did you bring some cheese with holes in it? Delmonico wants some, and oh, I should stop asking questions and just hug you some more!"
And that she does.
"Yep, we had a good holiday. Wife and youngins are doing fine. Half of the saddle bags is filled with the holey cheese. The other side has American (Cheddar) and Colby."
Hearin' that the cheese with holes in it is here, Delmonico goes to the kitchen and takes two egg yolks and mixex in 2 teaspoons of Coleman's dry mustard, 2 teaspoons of confectioer's sugar, 1/2 teaspoon of salt and a dash of caynee pepper. With his hand cranked egg beater he beats it well and when it is well beatin' he adds 2 cups ofsweet oil (olive oil) a bit at a time till the mix is stiff. A couple teaspoons of lemon juice is folded in at this time. ???
To this he adds a tablespoon of chili sauce, a 1/4 cup of diced green olives with the pimento's inside also chopped. Also 3 teaspoons of finely chopped chives and 6 chopped hard boiled eggs and a teaspoon of paprika and a bit of salt and pepper.
This is mixed well and put in the icebox. ;D
He then goes to the widow opens it and burns a cup of sugar in an iron skillet and sets it on the porch to quit smokin'. :o ::) He then heads to the cellar. ;D
Slim goes into the kitchen and puts the cheese in the icebox. He yells, "Del, yer holey cheese is in the icebox!" He puts the "Mighty Ten" and saddlebags in his room.
Sod Buster figures he has stayed too long at the Ranch with No Name so he heads into the house to say "Thanks" for the meal and "Good-bye". He gets intoduced to Slim and says "Howdy" to him too. He then heads to the yard, hitches his wagon to his horse and heads back to the soddy. As he heads down the driveway he wonders where that Trinity fella is. ??? ???
"Wait!! Wait!!" The Frumpy Fairy Godmother runs after Sod Buster. A knit scarf is dangling from her fingertips as she runs. When he pauses, she catches up, and bends, trying to catch her breath. Finally, still panting, she lifts the scarf to him. "For.... you. Please.... come... back... soon?" She stops trying to talk and just stands there, watching as he takes the scarf.
Delmonico puts a couple hunks of the brined beef in a pot and starts it simmerin'. He thens adds 5 cups of warm water to the burnt sugar and puts it in a mixin' bowl. To this he adds two cakes of yeast and a 1/4 cup of cocoa, caraway seed, a hunk of lard the size of a small egg, a bit of salt and stirs well. He then adds 5 cups of rye flour and 5 cups of white flour and kneads it well. He then covers it to raise. ;D
Slim yells after Sod buster, "Good meetin' ya. I'm glad I didn't shoot ya." ;D ;D ;D ;D
With the dough double in size, Delmonico tosses it on the counter that is well floured and kneads it well addin' a bit of flour now and then to make it less sticky. ::) He then forms it into round loaves and puts it in his 15 inch skillet that has been greased and sprinkled with corn meal to prevent stickin'.
He covers it to raise again. :P The beef simmers. ;D
When the bread is risen, Delmonico puts it in the oven to bake. ;D ::)
On her way back to the house, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother stops to dig up a crock of kraut. With a smile, she takes it into the kitchen and places it on one of the bare spots.
Quote from: AnnieLee on November 28, 2005, 12:32:32 PM
"Wait!! Wait!!" The Frumpy Fairy Godmother runs after Sod Buster. A knit scarf is dangling from her fingertips as she runs. When he pauses, she catches up, and bends, trying to catch her breath. Finally, still panting, she lifts the scarf to him. "For.... you. Please.... come... back... soon?" She stops trying to talk and just stands there, watching as he takes the scarf.
Sod Buster stops, takes the scarf and thanks the kind lady for her thoughtfulness. Yes, of course he will come back....soon.
He then continues his journey home.
litl' rooster returns to the house and see's Slim has returned, and yells Howdy.....Goes to the Ice box, and removes one slice each of cheese with holes in it, and some colby, then a nice slice of left over turkey. Placing these on a slice of sourdough....(because Del, hasn't invented a hoagie roll yet) on top of which he places a glob of cole slaw and a glob of Russian salad dressing and a wedge of kosher dill. Then returns to the porch to see if Trinty will return.
Very tired, Trinity rides up to the house and finds litl rooster waiting with a jug for him. "Thankee, ol' buddy. Mah last jug done run out on me three mile back! Ah done thought Ah were gonna parch!"
While Trinity is drinking, litl rooster recounts each and every way that Sod Buster had to prepare cucumbers. By the third item, Trinity was throwing up. You see... cucumbers neither walk, crawl or slither.
When Trinity starts to upchuck, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother comes flying out of the house. She stands near him, flailing and flapping her skirts at the puppies and kittens who are doing their best to lap at his vomit.
"Dang it, Trinity, they're too little to get drunk!"
Trinity finally stops and looks up at the FFG sheepishly as a long string of vomit/mucous makes its way from his nose to the ground.
"Aw Heck, ain' nothin' in thar what's bad fer the littl'uns. Why Ah were knee high ta that runt thar when Ah haid me mah first drank. It's only Korn... Good fer ya!
"'Sides! 'Tain' mah fault. litl rooster hadna done tawlked bout them nasty pucumber thangs!!!!"
Sod Buster arrives home and was sorry he missed Trinity. Since they had such an in-depth conversation about cucumbers, Sod Buster wanted to tell Trinity about cucumber liquor. Somewhere he read that home-made cucumber liquor is one of the popular liquors in Korea and is made by blending cucumber juice with alcohol. Trinity would surrely like to try this out.
Sod Buster also notices that he is getting a bit low on beef and wonders if there are any "slow elk" around. Perhaps tomorrow morning he will look for some.
<Authors Note: Thousand Island Dressing. :P>
When the bread is done, Delmonico warms up the sauerkraut and slices some of the salted beef. (corned beef ;D) He slices the very dark rye bread, puts one the holey cheese, the meat, the dressing and the kraut. He then butters the tops of the bread and browns them till the cheese melts and serves them fer suppper. "Since my ridin' mule was with me when I got the beef I'll name it fer him. I proclaim this a Reuban Samwhich." ;D ;D ;D ;D ::) ::)
<Author's Note: Since there are many claims to the invewntion, I'll claim it also. :P :P>
Irish tries Del's new sammich and finds that he likes it. "This would go good with a beer, Del!"
After getting a good look at Trinity and the stuff coming out of his nose, it takes the Frumpy Fairy Godmother a while before she no longer has a green tinge to her face and can remove her hands from covering her mouth. It takes her even longer before she has enough of an appetite to try a Rueben.
Slim comes into the kitchen fer a cup of coffee. He sees the sandwich Del prepared. "May I have a bit of yer sandwich, Del?" He pours himself a cup.
Not seeing any "slow elk" to kill or add to Litl Roosters herd :(, Sod Buster finishes up the plowing and planting of the Winter Wheat while the ground is still soft and moist. He fears he has already waited too long. He purchased some Turkey Red Wheat seeds from some Russian Mennonites a few weeks ago. This wheat is planted in the fall and is hardy enough to grow in wintertime. While mostly dormant during winter, in the spring the plants spring back into action, growing taller each day. By early summer, the wheat is ready to harvest.
With the "Reuban Samwhich a success and friends made with the local nester, Delmonico decides it's to quiet round the ranch and decides another adventure is needed. ;D ;D ;D ::) ::) ;)
Plus there is still the question of enough coal for winter. ::) ::) :o :o :o The samwhich ain't gonna get no extra coal.
<Arthur's note: Cosie on the loose. We'z in trouble now.> ;D
After painting the new sign fer the house.....I decide it's time to select a "fat' fer our winter stores, Riding up to the house I yell in I'm heading over to Sod Busters to bring a steer home to slaughter, any of ya want to ride along? Standing on my saddle I hang the sign above the steps to the porch.
Del's deli
please wipe yer feet
"I'll go along mitcha."
I'll ride along too, need a change a scenery after Trinity's little incident.
Trinty is now asleep in the hammock, while Slim and Lucky Irish Tom saddle up I sneak in and place the jug on the floor, then tie Trinty's brogan laces together. (this was almost impossible since one was already broken.) The three men ride off towards Sod Buster's claim.
Later the 3 ride up on Sod Buster planting winter wheat. I fill him in on what we are doing. I also tell him if he is in need of beef we could put one in the corral near his house for him to slaughter, I could deducted it from my final payment next week. It would come to $18. what I get from my contract sale.
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother approaches the house after tending to the chickens. When she sees the sign, her smile drops and her eyes narrow.
"This is a house, a home, not a business!"
Quick as a flash, her wand is out and waved in the air. ****POOF**** The sign disappears from the house, to reappear over the door to Trinity's lopsided "bunkhouse" over by the pigs.
She holsters her wand, dusts off her hands, and smiles as the puppies and kittens tumble out to greet her.
Howdy Litl Rooster, Slim, and Tom! What a pleasent surprise!
Rooster, I tried to find some "Slow Elk" to add to your herd or to slaughter myself but none came by! Oh well.....
Yes, of course you can use the corral. Thanks for the beef and I will be glad to make good use of it. Please ask that cosie Del if he would be interested in the testicles. I hear they can make some good eatin'. I have never tried them but some cowboys that have passed through here swear by them. Please pass along this recipe that they left with me. Some of those cowboy considered them a wonderful elixir or aphrodisiac. Have these been castrated yet? I didn't get close enough to look.
<Arthor's note: At roundup, cowboys enjoyed a delicacy called calf fries, mountain oysters, or prairie oysters. Whatever the term, these fried or roasted calves' testicles made gourmet eating for cowmen. Obviously, a large number of these prize delicacies could be gathered when hands castrated calves during roundup. Preparation might consist of nothing more than tossing the testicles into a branding fire and waiting for them to pop open, ready to eat. You could soaking the mess in salt water for an hour then drying them. The oysters are then seasoned, rolled in flour or cornmeal, and fried in hot grease until crisp-- a great end to a long day of branding. Another variant suggest soaking the harvest in buttermilk instead of salt water. >
Delmonico is out in the workshop in the corner of the barn, he has a 6 foot length of pipe some sheet iron and the tinsnips and solderin' irion. Right now he is busy cuttin' up sheet metal. ::) :o
:o
Delmonico, Ye ain't up to something Brash?
Marshal N Sheep come in driving flock of Chickens.
Delmonico comes in from the shop and makes him another "Reuben" samwich fer supper. After he finishes eatin' he goes back to the shop and starts solderin' with his slolderin' copper, the one with the corn cob handle. ;D
Trinity is still sleeping when he rolls over and and begins mumbling: "Reuben... Reuben James?"
<Authors Note: The real Reuben, the Liberty Ship that still sails or the Kenny Rogers song?>
After hangin' the fat steer (<are altered males their huevous has already been ete) at Sod Busters. The three men return to the Ranch with No Name, leading a the steer we have chosin for our winter meat. Slim has one rope around the horns and is dallied off, while I have a second rope around the horns and looped back into a halter. Leading from the other side, while Lucky Irish Tom pushes it along up the middle. Putting in in the corral behind the barn, will it will recieve hay and water for the night. Tomorrow I will start the processing. After unsaddling our horses and feeding them, I head to the porch to see if i can startle Trinty. :D
Trinity continues to mumble in his sleep: "Reuben james, all the folks around hadison county
Cussed your name You're just a no-count, sharecropping colored man
You'd steal anything you can
And everybody laid the blame on reuben james
Reuben james, for you still walk
Over fields of my mind
Faded shirt, weathered brow
Colored hands upon the plow
Loved you then and I love you now
Reuben james..."
Slowly Trinity awakens and sees the jug beneath him and reaches for it. Unable to reach, he moves to be able to reach better but his shoes being tied caused only havoc in his hammock (( ;D ;D)). After a few twists and flips, Trinity is very well tangled up with the hammock and dizzy ... and still hasn't been able to reach the jug. :(
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother succumbs to silent laughter as she watches Trinity. Her hands clamped over her mouth, she makes tiny choking sounds as the tears stream down her face.
Trying to regain her composure, she turns away, only to gawk at a man and a sheep approaching the house following a passel of chickens.
"What in the blue blazes....?"
;D
Good Morning,
Chicken Ranchen, Hey its a living, they eat da spiders N bugs, lay eggs and work for scratch. Dey don't stampede, N if one gets too obnoxous it winds up in da Dutch oven.
Da Sheep has wool, and except for being alergic to rustlin is good natured--well mosst of tha time. He does like to lite off Da Dynomite. :o
8)
Sod Buster hears tell that there might be a sheep rancher in the area. He hopes Slim has his mightly 10g ready and hopes that this sheep hearder doesn't plan to keep his sheep anywhere near where Litl Rooster's cattle are. An "accident" is sure to happen.
Irish gets done helping litl rooster and Slim with the Steer and as he walks out into the yard he sees a feller surrounded by a passel of chickens and one of the biggest Sheep he has ever seen. He thinks to hissself, "I wonder if Del has any mint jelly in tha stores?"
"I didn't know ya could herd chickens. ??? Ya gotts anymore sheep den dis BIG one?"
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother's hands flail a little and she talks quietly out of the corner of her mouth to Slim. "But... we already have chickens!"
Delmoico comes out of the workshop, the pipe now has a point and 3 tin fins on the bottom. A "string" hangs out the bottom. ??? Delmonico sits it down on the fins and lights the sttring with a lucifer, the pipe has a rush of flame out the end, just as it tips. ;D ;D The "rocket roars through the unbranded chicken heard (Slim branded his ;)) and scatters them, the steer in the corral breaks out and runs and the rocket heads to the porch. :o :o
As it passes the porch it snags Trinity's shrit and it heads off south with Trinity still doin' his best Kenny roger's im-a-tat-ion. As they dissapear over hills Trinity is heard to be singin'> "Ya picked a fine time to leave me Lucille." ;)
Delmonico knows this is good for at least another 100 pounds of coal. ;D ;D ;D
"Now we'll see if he can herd chickens." ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
With chickens squawkin' everywhere, Delmonico says "I heard chickens." ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother is slow in getting up from her unladylike sprawl on the porch. As she dusts herself off, she fixes Delmonico with an icy glare. "I'll give you chickens," she says as she draws her wand.
***POOF***
Delmonico is turned into a four foot tall chicken.
(http://tinypic.com/6ghcuc.jpg)
;D
Marshal N Sheep are rolling on da ground with lafter. The Da sheep gets up N lites the dynomite N blows up Delmonico's kitchen. Pots N pans are scatered everywhere, flower is all over everything. ;D
Marshal restraines Da Sheep, Says thats enough. Chickens return to da marshal, Delmonico don't know that chickens imprint on owner who raises em will flock on threir own. Same is true fer Ducks N Geese. Marshal herds Chickens out to Hes new spred Da Dynomite Chicken Ranch. :D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother stares in horror as the dynamite flies toward Trinity's bunkhouse, where Delmonico stores his extra cast iron pots. ***BOOM***! The dynamite explodes, sending the "Del's Deli" sign flying one hundred feet in the air. Delmonico's pots go flying hither and yon.
Her face is a cloud of darkness as the stranger leaves. Her wand flickers again and Delmonico is returned to normal. "I don't care who he is," she snarls, pointing at the retreating chicken farmer, "but he is not invited back here. He could have hit the house!"
:D
As Ah leave, remind Annie Lee dat it twas Delmonico that tryed to rustle ma Chickens. >:( I did restrain D Sheep, He wanted to blow up da whole Ranch--He does have a temper! :o
Talked Him out of it, Ah apologize, didn't want to endanger anyones house.
Slim, Cattle N Sheep can get along just fine, we did on the California ranch for over 30 yrs. Indeed the Basque Sheep hearders saved the ranch by leasing the land during the depresion of 29. The main thing is to keep the cattle N sheep seperate, graze the cattle first, use the cattle dip, N sheep dip, and keep all the heards well inoculated. Of course, fresh water and occasional feed suplaments, salt blocks are necessary, also proper rotation of pasture fields. The Horseshoe Ranch in Kern County Ca, was 27 sections (27sq miles) third largest ranch in California at the time. The Ranch is still around only you would know it as the Five Dogs Shooting Range. My cousins own it now. It is not a big, but it still is a working ranch.
Maybe someday when Ya'll is simmered down, Ah will tell you da Sheep's story, N how He got to be so familer with Da Dynomite.
Thats another time.
Marshal tips hat to Annie Lee, rides on.
litl' rooster is now in the hay loft splitting a gut laughin'.... Decides he better saddle Pea Eye ifn' he can find him, and bring back our rib eyes, Scatterin some cracked korn, around the hen house, I whistle fer my loyal horse. He insist it's it's his day off and I want him, I must walk out and get him. Placing the bridal on his head I lead him to a stump so I can get up on him to ride to the barn. Marshall n Sheep trot by, dem 2 sure is funny in a funny way :D
Since the kitchen is in the house and the dy-no-mite hit Trinty's bunk houde, Delmonico don't know where the pots and pans came from.
Not worry'n 'bout it he sits on the porch and makes 4 foot chicken poops there. ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on December 01, 2005, 07:28:40 PM
...Not worry'n 'bout it he sits on the porch and makes 4 foot chicken poops there. ;D
<Arthur's Note: Del, yer not a 4 foot chicken anymore. See below. Not sure what "normal" is though.> ;D
Quote from: AnnieLee on December 01, 2005, 04:08:57 PM
...Her wand flickers again and Delmonico is returned to normal. "I don't care who he is," she snarls, pointing at the retreating chicken farmer, "but he is not invited back here. He could have hit the house!"
<Author's note: It's normal for Delmonico, which is far from normal for anyone else! :D >
Quote from: AnnieLee on December 02, 2005, 10:01:12 AM
<Author's note: It's normal for Delmonico, which is far from normal for anyone else! :D >
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Delmonico still hasn't noticed that he's been chnged back so he has cracked corn for breakfast. ;D
"Delmonico!! Stop pooping on the porch!!" The Frumpy Fairy Godmother grabs up a broom and starts smacking him in the rear with the bristled end of it.
<Least it wern't the baldheaded end of it.>
Irish is surprised when Del poops on the porch, he's also sorry to see the Marshal leave, sice he's taking the years worth of lamb chops with him. As litl rooster gets ready to head out to find the steaks, Irish figures he'd better saddle up and find out where the rocket took Trinity too.
<Author's note: Follow the scorch marks headed south. ;D>
After being beat with a broom, Delmonico realizes he's no longer a chicken. He looks at the scorch marks from the black powder rocket and decides maybe better fins are needed. Perhaps even a better fuel. :o He goes to the hay loft and finds a couple of Trinity's jugs and heads to the shop where he has a barrel of Potasium Nitrate (saltpeter /KNO3) See a little heat will seperate the O3 from the N and the K leaving 3 moly-que-les of O3 to make the grain alcohol burn faster and hotter. ;D
:o
Meanwhile back at Da Dynomite Chicken Ranch, Marshal N Sheep are workin in dar secret labortory. Marshal had read some papers
about a Madem Cure' and Her work with a strange lead substance She called Radium. It glows in da dark and fogs photographic plates.
Sheep is working on new type of detonator. Calls it a Pl238 Krypton Modulator claims it is possible to "blow up da Earth". :o :(
Marshal muses to Himself N says to da Sheep, that might be a tad too much. :(
Goes back to boiling fumming nitic acid, n adding da gylicerine to it (left real fourmula out fer obvous reasons) Flowers of Nitre' N Sulfric acid.
Tain't makin soap, thats fer shure. :o
Ya need fresh Nitro ta make good Dynomite. :o
Hearing rumors of the 2 mad sci e tn ist werking on blowing up the earth, I busy my self, digging a a cave under the sod. It will be big enough to hold my 2 horses and a months werth of supplys and a cache of guns and ammuntion and some coins of silver and gold and water. Being in a sceret location, ifn' I survive I can become the ruler of the entire earth.
In the mean time before I have to chase down 'Rib eye' again, I decide to go head and get him hangin from the game pole. After carefully removing the hide, I hang it over the corral fence behind the barn. Flesh side up so the birds can help flesh it off. Later I will salt it down and take it the hide buyer in town, and sell fer $3. I take the head and tie a rope securely around the horns and throw it in the pond, then stake it off. (to keep the others from tampering I hide it in some brush) After the snappers clean it up I will dry it in the sun and rub some pitch on the horns and sell it later as a buff skull to some townie fer a souvenier, $5. The carcass is now rapped in cheese cloth to leave hanging for a few days.
Trinity awakens in the sand far to the south. He isn't quite sure how he got there, but is glad that the binds of the hammock were blown off and he is free to move about. He starts his treck back to the ranch when suddenly a large piece of wood flies down from the sky and smacks Trinity in the head and knocks him cold for four hours.
When Trinity awakens for the second time he rubs his head and looks at what fell from the sky: "D... D... Day.... Dail's D... Delly... DAIL'S DELLY!!!!!" Trinity knows where this came from and the only way it could have gotten this far.
He begins to sob: "That Miss FFG din't never lahk mah bunkhouse an' now she done blowed it up!" :'( :'( :'( :'(
Trinity picks up one end of the sign and drags it with him as he continues his journey back to the ranch.
Sod Buster retires for the evenng after another day of husking corn while still on the standing stalk and throwing the ears into the wagon box. He can average about an acre a day. His hands are cracked and bleeding. This is a never ending & unplesant task every late fall and early winter.
Now where did he put that bag balm? That usually helps his hands feel better.
He goes to sleep dreaming about better ways in husk corn.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
After an hour of walking (a record for Trinity) he sits down to rest. Weariness and the lack of hydration is wearing him down. He looks back down his trail... he has covered nearly a quarter mile!
Quote from: Trinity on December 02, 2005, 11:17:14 PM
After an hour of walking (a record for Trinity) he sits down to rest. Weariness and the lack of hydration is wearing him down. He looks back down his trail... he has covered nearly a quarter mile!
;D ;D ;D
Since my horse is already saddled I decide to gather some 2 yr olds colts and drive them to town. (It's getting near the end of the year and don't want to pay property tax on them) They will be shipped to Ft Riley fer remounts. On my my journey back I come along a trail scratched in the dirt and decide to follow. A few hundred yards later I come across a heap in the ground Pea snorts...I know that snort, he knows it is Trinty. Stopping to check on my pard I see he is dehydrated, and grab a small flask from my saddle bags.
<Author's Note: If the sign is that important I could sell him a "We Don't Rent Pigs" sign. ;)>
Doing a little chem-as-stree in his head it scares Delmonico and he gives up on liquid powered rockets. :o
Delmonico comes out of the barn where he's worked all night and sees about 4 inches of fresh snow. ???
<Authors note: It did here last night, over most the state. :D>
Perked up (as he always is) by the "hydration" that litl rooster gave him, Trinity is ready to go again. Luckily, though, he doesn't have to walk. He ties the board to one of litle rooster's colts and lays down. He rides back to the ranch in style.
To litle rooster he says: "Ah maght jus' git used ta this! ;D ;D ;D" Ah'm gonna make me one of them Tray-voysey thangs lahk them injuns use when Ah git back to tha ranch... wail... mebbe after you an' me "rehydrate" some more. ;D"
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/TrinityonTravois.jpg)
:D ;D :D ;D^^^^^
Quote from: Delmonico on December 03, 2005, 10:02:55 AM
<Author's Note: If the sign is that important I could sell him a "We Don't Rent Pigs" sign. ;)>
since we don't rent pigs............ we don't need the sign...It looks beter on the Homepage :D
"Ah was brangin' it back fer Del., but now Ah jus' may keep it!" >:( >:( >:(
Slim rides into the door yard half frozen. He falls off his saddle and just lays in the 4" of snow.
Delmonico comes out on the porch and sees Slim layin' in the snow. "Come in and get some coffee when yer done makin' snow angels." ;D ;)
"I'll be there in a bit." Slim crawls to the porch.
litl rooster decides with the snow on the ground he will haul hides in to town, to the hide buyer. While in town he makes arrangements to ship the last of his fat cattle ad to sell off his momma cows and his prized Longhorn bull. After a nice meal, he goes to the bank and takes a draft to make a final payment to Sod Buster. Then after stabling his team and wagon checks into the rooming house for the night. He will return to the Ranch with No Name tomorrow and prepare for his final cattle drive.
Slim comes in fer coffee and all the snow melts off him onto the kitchen floor, Delmonico hands him a mop. ;D
Having returned safely home, thanks to litl rooster, Trinity hangs the Del's Deli sign on Delmonico's Drive In that was being neglected. Trinity then shudders because of the cold and goes into the barn to look for something. A few minutes later, returns to the house, having found what he was looking for.
In the kitchen, Delmonico watches silently as Trinity takes Delmonico's step ladder and heads for the parlour. After a few minutes and several crashes later, Trinity returns with the ladder and two black eyes. He replaces the ladder, goes outside and returns dragging his hammock which he takes into the parlour.
Delmonico waits a few moments and then goes into the parlour to find Trinity asleep in his hammock, which he had hung on two hooks from the barn fastened to the ceiling. Delmonico also notices several holes all about the ceiling where Trinity had made until he finally found the beam on which to fasten the hooks... as well as the resulting crumbled plaster on the floor.
Delmonico looks and shakes his head, he gits the first aid kit out for someone to use on Trinity once the FFg finds out what he did. :o :o :o :o :o :o :o
Slim mops the kitchen floor and puts the mop away. He goes into the parlor to see what Trinity did. "The FFg is going tan Trinity's hide fer this." ;D
Delmonico tells Slim, "Doubt she'll tan it, ain't enough oak trees to get enough bark, sideds that she'd have to skin hin first. My thought is she'll just flail it off him. Fact is I stayed up late last night and braided her a cat-o-nine-tails to use. I left off the metal tips though." ;D ;D ;D
"She could brain tan. The metal tips are the best part." ;D
Irish doesn't find Trinity, but notices the weather turning colder. By the time he gets back to the Ranch with no Name it has snowed. He puts up his horse, dries him and brushes him, gets him some feed and hay and returns to the house. After getting a cup of coffee Irish wanders into the parlor and sees Trinity asleep in the hammock, "Well dang, Delmonico's rocket didn't carry im as far as I thought it would." Scratching his head Irish wanders back into the kitchen to fix some breakfast.
Delmonico says to Slim, "They say every animal has enough brains to tan it's hide, but Trinity might be an exception." ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on December 06, 2005, 12:53:15 PM
Delmonico says to Slim, "They say every animal has enough brains to tan it's hide, but Trinity might be an exception." ;D
(http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/happy/8.gif)
Trinity wakes up with a snort and looks around. "'Bout tahm Ah got up!" He steps out of the hammock and crunches his way into the kitchen. "Boy! This place is dirty. Someone aughta clean up."
At the sound of his voice Claire bounds into the kitchen and runs around in happy circles. Slowly one then two, then three pups amble in to see what is going on. They each sit and stare up at Trinity while Claire is still releasing her energy. Trinity sees something covered by a towel near the stove. Removing the towel, he is very happy to find leftovers from breakfast, flap jacks and sausage. On the stove is still a pot of coffee, which he warms and pours for himself. He reaches down several pieces of sausage to "Mamadawg" and each of the eager pups.
leave that sasuage alone Trinity gave it to me
"If ya hadn'ta brought them cut little dawgs with you, ya prolly wouldn'ta gotten any from me. Ah love sausages! Here" Trinity slides the plate over to Ozark and then digs into the flap jacks.
Ozark thanks Trinity for the food, those pups are going to be my tracking dogs when they grow a little. We was up by Kansas City a few days ago and saw a bright blaze across the sky we was trying to find out what it was? looked like it came from near here. did yo'all see it?
"Yep, I saw it. It was Trinity tryin' ta be a bird." ;D ;D ;D ;D Slim pours a cup of coffee.
Delmonico decides not to wait fer the FFg. He ties Trinity in his hamock and drags it to the Trinity Bunkhouse ahd hangs him upside down. :o He then goes to the shop and gets some plaster, rememberin' he needs horse hair to hold the plaster together, he heads for Slim's horse with the sissiors. :o Thinkin' the better of it he heads to the Trinity Bunkhouse and cuts Trinity's hair. ;)
Back in the parlor he mixes the plaster and fixes the holes and covers them with wallpaper. ;D
Slim comes in from milching the cow and gathering eggs. "Good plastering job, Del. The FFg might not know what Trinity did. I really didn't want ta see Trinity's hide above the mantle." :o :o :o :o
Trinity walks into the house, dragging his hammock behind him and shivvers. It didn't take long to get free since the FFG had blown up Trinity's bunkhouse and all that remains is a soot spot and a sign now tied to the back of Trinity's horse. Trinity thinks that Delmonico must have had a few sips of the recipe to think that he had hung Trinity anywhere. He walks into the parlour and looks at the wallpaper on the ceiling. ;)
"Dail, whar didja put tha ladder?" ;D ;D ;D
Irish walks in and notices that the plaster has sild off the wall and left an oily stain behind. Del what did you mix with the plaster it aint holdin! ;D
"That does it, I hiring a professional. I'm going to town and get the barber, he also plasters walls and wall papers."
<Authors note In Evertt Dick's book The Sod House Frontier he talks about folks with more than one job because of low population density not being able to support someone full time. He also quotes and early visitor to the area having to wait till evening for the barber to get back to town to shave him. He was out platering a wall. Evert Dick was Professor of Histor at Union Collage in Lincoln in the 30-50's and wrote several books on the history of the area. The present Administration Building is named after him.>
<Nuther Authors Note: Did you care about the other note, too bad! I just need to remind the readers from time to time that this is a Historical fiction. Perhaps we can have it turn into a TV Mini Series like Lonesome Dove or Centenial. ??? :o :o :o :o ;)>
<-Arthur's Note: Del ya mean it's called the D--k Administration Building?-> :o
After a month in southern Cal. GG returns to the ranch. After thinking of the weather, may be its time to move things to the winter range.
"Welcome back Gopher Grease. How was Californy?"
:)
Meanwhile back at the Dynomite Chicken Ranch, Da Marshal N Sheep are gettin the spred ready fer winter. Da Marshall was able to talk Da Sheep out of blowing up the Earth.
This is Christmas time, a time for peace on Earth good will to man, been enough troubles. Got da Chickens safely secured in da coop, pleanty of feed N water heat n light.
Doing the necessary repairs, setting up the reloading equipment.
Da works all done time to address the Harp n play some tunes. :)
In spite of the chalenges its has been a Good Year, Da Marshal n Da Sheep are greatful to God, praying an hopeing for a better New Year. ;D
8)
Don' we all! ;D
With Christmas slightly over 2 weeks away, Delmonico does some plannin' on how to make sure the ranch gets enough coal from Santa to make it through winter. :o :o
Northern Mexico is nice and warm this time of year. 72 in San Diego the day after Thanks Giveing, 40 in Reno, NV wed noon 2 and snow in omaha 7pm wed. Kind of like a kick in the *****, never mind this is a famliy spot. Any ways good to be home no matter what the weather.
Is it time to plan a 'rain deer hunt' that should get us some coal.
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on December 06, 2005, 11:52:37 AM
"She could brain tan. The metal tips are the best part." ;D
using who's brain?
litl' rooster, finishes shipping cattle and last have been loaded. After buying his crew dinner at the diner, he pays them and heads tothe Barber....Who is out? While waiting for the haircut I decide to do my Christmas shopping. Before returning to the Ranch ;D
Thinks after hearing gophergreases's comments, Mexico sounds great.
Delmonico gets back from town with the barber who is going to plaster the parlor, before the FFg returns and floggs Trinity. :o :o :o :o While he does that, Delmonico makes another order with his coal oil computor. ;)
After getting a haircut, I let a pack mule from the livery, and haul my purchases back to my secret coldwar cave. Where they will be safe from Trinty, Slim and Lucky Irish Tom, whom we all know would be ransacking the parcels before Christmas >:( After unsaddling and curring the mule and Pea Eye off, I feed them and givem some hay. Then filling their water buckets. I sit down and fall off to sleep.
While litl rooster snores, Trinity, Slim and Lucky Irish Tom slip by and into the cave.
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Irish Tom has dressed up like Santy, in case litl rooster wakes up, cept he could'n find no red felt so he used green instead. Irish tells Trinity I'll jest tell im I'm O'Claus from the County Cork side of the Kringle family! ;D
Monday a brown stagecoach from "Onery Orr's Overland Package Shipping"(OOOPS) arrives with a package for Delmonico. ;) He signs for it and takes it into his office. :o
Quote from: gophergrease on December 09, 2005, 07:35:38 PM
Is it time to plan a 'rain deer hunt' that should get us some coal.
"We might get a couple ton fer that." ;D ;D ;D ;D
Slim puts on a fresh pot of coffee. He goes out to gather eggs and milch the cow.
Delmonico opens the pakage with his brand-new concertina and begains to squeeze it back and forth in an attempt to learn to play it. But all that cames out are squeeks and squawks. ;D ;D :P :P :P :P
The dawgs and puppies start howlin'. :o :o :o :o :o
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on December 12, 2005, 07:13:25 AM
Irish Tom has dressed up like Santy, in case litl rooster wakes up, cept he could'n find no red felt so he used green instead. Irish tells Trinity I'll jest tell im I'm O'Claus from the County Cork side of the Kringle family! ;D
"Oh, yeah, thanks fer 'mindin' me. Ah need ta git me some more cork fer the jugs!! ;D Now, whar is them presents hidin'!!???"
The dawgs and puppies continue to howl. :o :o :o :o :o
Delmonico finds the right tone and Slim howls. :o :o ;)
The dawgs and puppies sing in tone with Delmonico, but Slim howls off key. Delmonico gets tired of Slim's howling and gives it a rest. Delmonico decides something is lacking, so he hitches up the mules to the wagon and heads off to the north. ;D ;D
He looks and the sky is grey to the north and it is gettin' colder and the wind is picking up, but he heads on into it on his misson. ???
10 miles north of the ranch the snow starts up and soon becomes a prairie blizzard, Delmonico knows he needs to stop as it starts to become a white out, but by using his compass he is able to navigate the hills. :o
Finally near the town of Long Pine the wagon gets stuck in the snow, so he has no choice but to stop and set up camp for the night in the protection of a deep gully. With much effort he gets the mules into the shelter of a cedar break and he is able to get a tent rigged up with the wagon sheet for him and Duke. <Author's Note: Duke came along. ;D> In the cedars out of the wind they are able to gather dead cedar wood and get a good fire going to keep them from freezing. ;D
As the blizzard howls around them, they are able to keep the fire going, Duke goes out and gathers wood while Delmonico tries to get some coffee and supper started. :o :o :o :o :o
Slim finally stops howlin' and puts on a fresh pot of coffee. 8)
Irish gets a cup of coffee, Thanks Slim then wanders onto the porch. He hollers back into the house, "Hey Slim, looks like snow is acomin, ya want me ta get some more firewood inta the house?"
"That would be great, Tom, thanks."
Awaken by a chill, I rise to go check the entrance of the cave.In the flicker of the dim lights of the lantern, I see Trinty and a man in Green, with a floppy hat. I've caught a Leperchaun trying to rob me...This is my lucky day. :) ;) :) ;) I'll get 3 wishes granted or is it a pot of Gold?....Either way I can't lose. ::)
Delmonico and Duke keep the fire going as the cedar breaks drifts over with snow. For supper they can only manage to heat up canned 'mater and pork and beans. ;)
Hey litl rooster wouldja settle fer some pot likker! ;D
The fire kept goin' by Delmonico and the dog keep and area for them and the mules free from snow, but all around them the cedar brake drifts over as the snow keeps coming down hard, driven by a strong North-West wind. :o :o :o :o ;)
Hope Duke is smart enuff to lead Delmonico back to the ranch...Ifn' he keeps following dat der compass Polar Bears will eat him and his mules.
Right after dark the wind and snow stops, Delmonico and Duke are glad, in the morning they will be able to complete their mission and head back to the ranch. ??? ???
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on December 14, 2005, 06:47:34 AM
Hey litl rooster wouldja settle fer some pot likker! ;D
No deal just read the offical Fairey Tale handbook, the Rules state, you get 3 wishes ifn' ya free a Genie from it's lamp
and a Pot O Gold ifn' ya ketch a Leprachaun....
Delmonico and Duke dig out and go down stream a ways and complete their mission, they hook the mules up and start to dig the wagon out and head for home as the sun shines brightly, forching them both to put on tinted glasses to prevent snow blindness. ;)
Slim grabs the shovel and digs a path thru the snow to the barn so he can gather milch and eggs.
As Delmonico and Duke stuggle home through the drifts, the temp rises to 60 degrees and the snow starts to melt, the sturggle on through drift and now streams of water to complete their important mission. ;D
Slim gathers milch and eggs. He puts them in the icebox and puts on a fresh pot of coffee.
Trinity walks up onto the porch and into the house. He is encapsulated in a thick layer of ice. The only things not frozen are his feet.
He stands before the fireplace in the kitchen and waits to be freed from his ice sarcophagus.
Quote from: Trinity on December 15, 2005, 06:40:52 PM
Trinity walks up onto the porch and into the house. He is encapsulated in a thick layer of ice. The only things not frozen are his feet.
He stands before the fireplace in the kitchen and waits to be freed from his ice sarcophagus.
That werd is worth more than 2 bits
(Authors Note: Where did he learn such a big word and did he spell it right.)
He proablly hear That Leprachaun using it. Deserves him right getting iced over after rummaging thru the Christmas gifts with him
<<That was the author speaking, not Trinity. Trinity wouldn't have known what to call it.>> ;D ;D ;D
<My Mistake.>
"Wouldn' know what ta call what?!?" Said Trinity as the ice finally melts from his head.
Slim hands Trinity the mop. ;D
Delmonico and Duke get back to the ranch and take care of the mules. They then head to the house carring a Pondarosa Pine tree about 6 ffet tall. They leave it on the porch. They got into the kitchen and see Slim with the Mighy ten standing guard over Trinity workin' with a mop.
"Slim can you take care of the tree please? And don't let Tom or Trinity help decorate it. I'm beat from the trip. "
Delmonico goes in takes a hot bath and heads to his room. Duke climbs in the tub, turns on the water and does the same, he then rolls around on the towels Delmonico left for him and puts them in the laundry hamper. He thens goes to Delmonico's room and lays down on his rug.
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
"I sure will, Del, after Trinity is done mopping." Trinity finishes mopping. Slim goes to the porch and drags the tree into the parlor. He gets a saw and 2 buckets, one filled with sand and the other empty, from the barn. He cuts a 1/2" off the trunk, puts the trunk in the empty bucket, and filled the bucket with sand. He goes to the kitchen with the now empty bucket. (Previously it had the sand in it.) :D He fills the bucket with water and pours it in the bucket with the sand and tree in it until the sand is saturated. Slim goes to the kitchen and starts popping corn.
Quote from: Trinity on December 15, 2005, 07:34:22 PM
<<That was the author speaking, not Trinity. Trinity wouldn't have known what to call it.>> ;D ;D ;D
Good thing you was starting to skeer me.
litl' rooster smells the popkorn popping and comes into the house seeing Trinty passed out next to the mop. I see Trinity's date made it...Slim are you going to string that popped korn fer the tree? Author's note> Is there something wrong with Del? Has his heart swelled 10 times, showing acts of the true Holiday Spirit. Must I go exchange his>whisper mode on< load of buffalo chips fer a real gift<?<Nah!>>whisper mode off< So Slim can I help you string that Korn up?
Trinity finally wakes up from his nap after the strenuous workout of mopping. "Whew. Tahm fer a drank"
He goes into the kitchen and starts a fire in the stove. On the sideboard he grinds chocolate into a powder and pours it and sugar and a little water into a pot and takes it over to the stove. Once the mixture has melted he opens a can of evaporated milk and pours the contents into the pot. When the chocolate beverage is hot enough, he pours himself half a cup and fills the rest with recipe.
To himself: "After a long day's work, a little ree-ward is called fer."
Suddenly, Trinity notices the tree and a smile appears on his face.
(http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/holiday/33.gif)
Delmonico is lookin' at the tree as Duke walks in and starts to lift his leg, :P "Duke, don't you dare!!!!!!" The yellow dog looks sheepish and slinks away. ;D Delmonico says to himself, "I 'spected Trinity to try that, but I thought the Duke was better trained." :P
<Author's Note: I saw a poor pitiful lookin' black Lab on the way to work yesterday, some lady was out walkin' hin and instead of lookin' proud like a Lab should he was walkin' with his tail tucked down, this lady had put a sweater on the poor thing. I thought about stoppin' the car and openin' and hollorin' "Come on Fella." Such a sad thing to do to such a noble dog, I hope none of his friends saw him.>
Suddenly, Delmonico notices the puddle under the tree.
Showing Trinity the puddle, Delmonico whaps him on the nose with a rolled up newspaper. ;D
"Ow! Ah hadta go an the wedgywood room stunk ta blue blazes! Ah thank you were the last one out!"
For Del:
(http://www.tbarcountry.com/images/tbarlab_dressedup.jpg)
Quote from: Delmonico on December 17, 2005, 03:43:22 AM
<Author's Note: I saw a poor pitiful lookin' black Lab on the way to work yesterday, some lady was out walkin' hin and instead of lookin' proud like a Lab should he was walkin' with his tail tucked down, this lady had put a sweater on the poor thing. I thought about stoppin' the car and openin' and hollorin' "Come on Fella." Such a sad thing to do to such a noble dog, I hope none of his friends saw him.>
You should have reported the owner. Even a lab that can't Hunt is a noble dog
Delmonico sees Trinityheadin' to the tree agani and whaps him on the nose again. ;D
He then goes into his office and orders something on his coal oil computor. :o :o ??? ??? ??? ;)
Trinity rubs his nose and waits for Delmonico to go into his office. Once Delmonico is out of sight, Trinity slips behind the tree.
Once behind the tree Trinity does a naughty thing, finding out Delmonico has done some wirin' with his wind generator/battery set up he uses in his office. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D Trinity comes out from behind the tree yelpin' and hollorin'. ;D ;D ;D
He heads out the door and down to the barn, he jumps in the stock tank, scarin' Slim's milk cow so bad she goes dry for three days. ??? ??? ???
And for those three days Trinity is not able to comb his hair back down either. Oh, wait... he never tried. Never mind.
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Dell the dynomite plunger N wires werk very well too. :D :D :D :D :D :D
LOL ;D ;D ;D ;D
Sheep grins. :)
Trinity walks downstairs and looks at the tree, shivers, and quickly leaves. In the kitchen, he looks at the coffee pot, shivers, and quickly leaves. He's not in a mood to "need to go" any time soon. :(
suddenly up the driveway of the Ranch With no Name comes a enclosed wagon full of ladies of ill repute, lookin' for Trinity.
Quote from: litl rooster on December 16, 2005, 06:29:27 PM
litl' rooster smells the popkorn popping and comes into the house seeing Trinty passed out next to the mop. I see Trinity's date made it...Slim are you going to string that popped korn fer the tree? Author's note> Is there something wrong with Del? Has his heart swelled 10 times, showing acts of the true Holiday Spirit. Must I go exchange his>whisper mode on< load of buffalo chips fer a real gift<?<Nah!>>whisper mode off< So Slim can I help you string that Korn up?
"Yes, I would welcome the help. Thanks, Litl Rooster." Slim gives him a spool of red thread and a needle. Slim continues to pop corn.
There is a knock at the door, Delmonico answers it, his delivery is here. He looks at the can in his hand, "Trinity No More" "Spray around areas you wish the Trinity not to frequent. More Humane than primative electical methods. Smells like WORK."
Delmonico sprays the tree to protect it. ;D
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother watches with a raised brow as the wagonload of "ladies" draws near. Before it comes to a complete halt, she flicks her wand and a shimmer covers the area around the wagon. The women inside squeal and jump around as they are deloused, degermed, and dediseased. The shimmer fades to be replaced by another one which slowly reveals several tubs of hot water for bathing, along with a stack of new dresses.
As the "ladies" leap out for their baths, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother steps inside and admires the tree. Again, there is a small flick of her wand and glittering sawdust swirls around the tree to fall gently on its branches. When the sawdust settles, it takes on a shimmering glow, giving a pale light to the tree.
Smiling, she takes up her chair near the fire.
Trinity sees the wagon approaching with glee but suddenly and painfully he sinks his head and walks back upstairs. Delmonico's electrical experiment is still having an effect on Trinity.
<Author's Note: T'wern't an 'spearmint, Delmonico already knew the end results. :o :o>
Trinity looks down from his bedroom window at the women and sobs quietly.
Quote from: Delmonico on December 20, 2005, 07:41:18 PM
<Author's Note: T'wern't an 'spearmint, Delmonico already knew the end results. :o :o>
:D ;D :D ;D :D ;D
goes back to stringing Popkorn
As she sits, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother can hear the sobs among the gleeful yelps of the "ladies." Out of the blue, Trinity can feel a swift kick to his rear and the soft words: "Get down there, you have company."
As Trinity mornefully watches the ladies when he hears the disembodied voice whispering to him. At that moment, his pain leaves him and he is once again... Trinity
Feeling... normal again, Trinity dashes down to the yard with a full jug to join the ladies.
As he heads through the house Trinity notices that Slim is in the Wedgewood room and once in the yard he slips to the side of the house. As the blue sparks flash, Trinity realizes that Delmonico has also wired his favorite spot under the kitchen window. ;D ;D
As Trinity is obscurred by steam, a dark man rides up the driveway and to the wagon full of "ladies", he says to them, "My chuckwagon is in the barn and I now have the time." ;D He ties his horse behind and gets in. They head back down the driveway. ;D
Delmonico goes out to the kitchen for a late night snack and notices a blue glow outside the kitchen window. Realizing he forgot about Trinity he goes to his room and opens the switch. ;D ;D
He then notices Slim heading to the Wedgewood room, he slips down into the cellar and bangs on the pipe, scaring the poop out of Slim, luckly he has already sat down and this prevents a tragic accident. :o :o :o
Later Delmonico goes down into the cellar with a roll of insulated copper wire and a pair of pliers.
Irish comes out of his drunken Holiday stoopor and realizes he's in the back of his wagon in the barn. He gets out and heads for the house to get some coffee. He sees Trinity walking funny as he steps away from below the kitchen window. Interestin hairdo ya got there Trinity!
(http://www.dannystrixkix.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000001/17214LARGE.jpg)
Down in the cellar, Delmonico hears Irish Tome go into the Wedgewood room and he then hears the seat drop, thrity seconds later he pulls the switch and hears screams come from the "electric chair." :D ;D ;D :o :o :o :o :P
i would have thought its more of an "electrick stool"
<Arthur's note: I was given a repro copy of the 1908 Sears Catalog last weekend. Many interesting items in it like this Graphophone.> ;D
After Slim is done popping corn, he helps Litl Rooster finish stringin' corn. They go in and trim the tree with the popped corn strings while the FFg sleeps in her rocking chair.
After trimming the tree and eating the remaining popkorn, Slim and little rooster go to the door to see the OOOPS wagon come rolling up the road, running the 4 up today, with the extry Christmas freight. Sliding past the porch the Teamster pulls the team to a whoa. Another man in Brown Pants and Shirt jumps from the rear and trots a parcel to the house.(<part time Seasonal help) After signing my X he leaves a package..Hey Slim! Who's this fer, only has one werd on the box must be Trinty.
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on December 22, 2005, 12:37:16 PM
<Arthur's note: I was given a repro copy of the 1908 Sears Catalog last weekend. Many interesting items in it like this Graphophone.> ;D
(http://www.cascity.com/forumhall/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=974.0;attach=4802;image)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! :o :o :o
Trinity is walking around the yard, stiff-limbed (like Frankenstein) and dazed. He would like to get to the ladies, but he just can't seem to walk a straight line. He watches as Mr. Nightlinger enters the waggon and as it slowly disappears over the horizon. Frantically he tries to get to the waggon, but only ends up falling and landing in a snow drift, twitching.
Suddenly a brown stage driver barrels into the yard and covers Trinity with slush and snow.
Irish wanders onto the porch with a painful expression on his face. Hey Slim, where's the "Mighty Ten", I think ther's a critter hidin in the wedgewood room and it just bit me!
Recovered, but frozen, Trinity slowly digs his way out of his snowy grave and mournfully looks in the direction that the waggon had gone.
"Oh wail. Ah gotta go see tha fambly, anyway."
He walks into the house and yells inside: "MURRAY CHRMMAS!!!!! Ah gotta go down ta 'Lanter, but will be back in a few weeks. Anyone want some ashes fer a souvenir? Ah hair tell that they got plenny... OK, Bah y'all!"
MERRY CHRISTMAS FOLKS!!!!!
Slim goes in and sees no creature in the Wedgewood and since he ate his prunes last night (dried apricots are better but Slim don't like them ;)) he decides to sit and "rest" awhile and read the book on ammunition that Delmonico left in there. ;D ;)
Delmonico hears this above him and throws the switch. As Slim hollors, Delmonico barly stiffles a laugh.
But through his mind a disembodied voice with a Russian accent keeps telling him, "Use alternating current, the results will be more dramatic." ??? :o ;D ;)
Slim runs from the wasser klosset lookin' fer the "Mighty Ten". "Tom, that critter in the Wedgewood room bit me, too! Now where did I put that street canon." >:( >:( >:( >:(
Delmonico removes all traces of the wires before coming upstairs, with turnips in his hand. ;) "Slim, don't be blowing up the Wedgewood." Delmonico goes in and uses it, he comes out as says, "see, everything is fine." ;D
"Some critter bit me when I used the Wasser Klosset." >:(
Christmas Eve has come to the Dismal River valley, delmonico is up making last minute preperations for Christmas, the electric water closet should get enough coal for winter. Trinity and Slim have left, the FFg is in her room sleeping, litl rooster has went back to his cave, Sodbuster is in his sod house and Irish Tom is off doing what ever.
Delmonico sees that they have hung their stockings on the mantle before leavin'. Delmonico goes to the barn and gets some balin' wire and fixes the hole in Trinity's. ;)
Delmonico goes to his office and digs out the fooony-grapf that has been fixed and puts on a Christmas song:
I was in the arroyo, gathering strays, ya see cowboys and cattle don't get holidays.
I would have been finished except for on little guy, who kept leading me farther away.
Up on the mesa and through a ravine, past the Indian ruins and a muddy red stream.
I stopped for a monent cause I was bone tired and I guess that I started to dream.
I saw three painted ponies, three dark skinned men, masks made of clay and voices like wind.
We seek the soul of all that is good, we come bearing gifts of corn, water and wood.
Stop and behold, all that is good, give thanks for the corn, water and wood.
Now I'm an ol' trail hand and all that I belive is yer boots and your saddle are all that you leave.
No miracles happen, no angels appear, yet there were three men standing there.
I shook myself over, had I been asleep, that's three Pueblo children, tending their sheep.
And they yelled Merry Christmas as the brought me my stray,
and their voices rang through the mesquite.
We seek the soul of all that is good, we come bearing gifts of corn, water and wood.
Stop and behold, all that is good, give thanks for the corn, water and wood.
Delmonico sits back in his chair to rest and as he's falling asleep the durn blue light comes through his window and takes him away again. :o
Quote from: Delmonico on December 24, 2005, 12:56:43 AM
Delmonico sits back in his chair to rest and as he's falling asleep the durn blue light comes through his window and takes him away again. :o
From his soddy, Sod Buster sees the blue light from the heavens and it causes him to drop to one knee and say a prayer for all his friends and neighbors that are not feeling well this holiday season. May God Bless them all.
Quote from: Sod Buster on December 24, 2005, 10:02:16 AM
From his soddy, Sod Buster sees the blue light from the heavens and it causes him to drop to one knee and say a prayer for all his friends and neighbors that are not feeling well this holiday season. May God Bless them all.
Well said Pard
:o
Marshal Sees Delmonico placing wires and figers out what He a doing. Sheep sneaks into Dells basement and pours strange licquid on floor (potesium perchorate)taps Dells wires to tha detinator, when dell flips switch goes KaBoom! :o
Fills basement with smoke dell gets out slips n trips into pile of stear n Sheep dropings Marshall n Sheep left. ;D
Marshal N Sheep LOL!
Merry Christmas You'll.
Much later on Christmas Eve the blue light drops Delmonico off again and once again he's wearin' a backward nightshirt as he heads for the house. :P :P
Everyone on The Ranch With No Name is asleep except for Delmonico, he hears the sleigh drawn by the eight Pronghorn Alny-lolpoe stop in the yard. It has delivered a grasshopper plow and a team of mules at the soddy, a F.E. Menna saddle with Sam Stag riggin' at the cave.
At the ranch he leaves a couple cases of Guniess Stout for Tom, several coils of copper tubing for Trinity. For Slim there is a brand new London Best shotgun, 10 ga of course, Slim's brand it worked into the twist steel of the barrels. ;D There is lots of flannel cloth and mohair yarn for the FFg.
By the strange talkin'picture in the hallway there is a picture of a bicycle with a little steam engine on it. ;)
Delmonico peeks out the window as Santa is fillin' the old dugout with coal and parked by it is a new Steam Traction engine. ;D ;D ;D
As the sleigh takes off, the music in Delmonico's room can be heard:
We seek the soul of all that is good, we come bearing gifts of Corn, Water and Wood.
Stop and behold all that is good, give thanks for the Corn, Water and Wood.
Merry Christmas.
While Del is off playing with the blue light the Brown wagon appears in the yard. The driver says,Are you Irish Tom. Yep is the reply, he throws a large bundle at Tom's feet, Tom see the return address from his home country the package arrived in time. Tom had sent home for warm woolen socks for everybody since the winter here is cold. he unwraps the bundle sorts out the sizes and places two pair in everybody's stockings by the fireplace. He also places a package marked FFg under the tree that contains a warm woolen wrap.
Merry Christmas to All! May God Bless Us Each and Every One of Us!
:D
Meanwhile back at the Dynomite Chicken Ranch, the Marshal N Sheep are entertaining some traveling guests who are missionaries to the Jews.
It is a good time to Praise God for the gift of the One Who is our Salvation, the King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Messiah Jesus.
Happy Birthday Jesus.
HalleluYa!
Slim rides into the dooryard. He leads his horse into the barn. He emerges with his saddlebags and and the "Mighty Ten". He goes into the house which is silent. He puts the Wiscoooooooonsin cheese in the icebox and puts on a fresh pot of coffee. He slips off his boots and climbs the stairs to the FFg's door. He hears heavy breathing from the other side of the door. He lays a pair of rabbit fur slippers in front of the door, walks back to the kitchen, and starts making breakfast.
<Author's note: The reason the house is quiet is that Delmonico has watered up the steam engine, has built a wood fir in the fire box and is now shovelin' coal into it. Being bad has it's advantages. ;D>
Quote from: Delmonico on December 27, 2005, 12:34:46 PM
<Author's note: The reason the house is quiet is that Delmonico has watered up the steam engine, has built a wood fir in the fire box and is now shovelin' coal into it. Being bad has it's advantages. ;D>
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Delmonico gets a full head of steam up and puts the steam traction engine in gear and heads out. ;D ;D
suddenly that durn blue light comes down again and Delmonico and the yet unnamed steam traction engine dissapear into the clouds. :o :o ::)
Slim sees the blue glow and runs to his room. Pushes the futuristic "toy" to the window and pulls the trigger. Hot brass sprays all over the room. "Drat! Missed again! Hope they don't probe him too much." >:( >:( >:(
The noise from Slim's toy wakes Irish who wuz nappin in the Barn<-Arthur's Note -Sleeping it off ;D->
Irish grabs his Sharps and sights down the barrel, the gun bucks and roars. Irish sees a 'D' fall off the Blue Plate but it doesn't slow down. Irish watches with a worried look as the EDGEWOO carries Del off again!
The Frumpy Fairy Godmother rouses from her sleep as the blue light comes for the second time for Delmonico. Slipping into her bunny slippers, which fit perfectly, and wrapping into her wrap, she silently glides through the house, delivering soft and new flannel shirts outside the doors of those who live at the Ranch with No Name. One of the shirts also appears at Sod Buster's house.
With a small smile, she slips back into her room.
< Merry Christmas, folks, sorry it was late. >
Having sat on the porch for more than a month and not having said a word, Stoney is awakened by the roar of Tom's Sharps. Not quite sure what been going on, Stoney see the Edgewoo ??? just before it disappears. "I guess they got Del again." :-[
As Stoney putters to his room he sees a new flannel shirt there for him. "Thanks FFG.", he says into the air. He changes his clothes and puts on the new shirt.
Once the plate is gone Irish wanders into the house to get some coffee. He wanders upstairs and sees a new flannel shirt in front of the door to the room he's supposed to be bunking in. He's tries on the shirt and is pleased at how it cuts the chill from the air.
Slim opens his door to find a new flannel shirt. He goes back in his room and tries it on; fits perfectly. "Thanks fer the shirt, ma'am."
Sod Buster sees a new flannel shirt at his door. Seein' no horse or wagon tracks, he is rightly puzzled on how it got there. Then he spies the gift tag from that nice FFg who lives at the Ranch House over the hill. He thanks her out loud and thinks that he needs to pay her a visit sometime soon to thank her personally for the shirt. It will come in handy during this cold winter. This has been a great Christmas out here on the plains, especially since Santy Claus brought the new Grasshopper plow and a team of mules to pull it.
Sodbuster also heard that Delmonico has one of them newfangled steam-powered tractors. He is definally gonna have to have Del demonstrate that machine.
The blle light appears again, dropping off Delmonico and his new steam traction engine, it now has a 16 bottom plow on it and in neon blue letters on the boiler are the words, "O'l King coal, Delmonico shovels in a couple more shovels full and heads to Sod Buster place, with his backwards night shirt flappin, in the breeze. :o :o ::) ::) :P
glad to see you back home del. the ranch was lonely without ya.
It's after dark when Delmonico reaches the sod busters farm, but by lighting the carbide lamps Delmonico and his engine and backwards night shirt get there. walking around to the front of the engine, Delmonico's exposed buttocks shows in the limelight, just like if he was on stage
<Authors Note: Carbide lights using acetylene gas is formed by Calcium carbonate and the reaction of water, CaC+ H20 forming C2H2 thus freeinf up extra oxygen moly-cules to allow combustion and the heating of the calcium to incandesance, hence the term lime light because calcium carbonate is sometimes called limeas in limestone. ::) See you shouldn't have slept in science class. :P)
Gettin' back on, he shovels some more coal in and plows 40 acres, headin' home in the risin' sun, his reddened "cheeks" blowin' in the breeze. ;)
Irish sees Del headin back to the Ranch at sun-up. Irish has brewed a fresh pot of coffee and invites Del to grab a cup. Irish politely says nothing about the strange outfit that Del is wearing, seems he has the same outfit every time the blue light returns him. After finishing the coffee Irish rides over to Sod Busters and hangs his Chritmas Stocking with the two pair of woolen socks in it on Sod Busters door and heads back to the Ranch, all the while appreciating the warmth of the flannel shirt.
Delmonico has a cup and heads for a nap, with the coal backed in his steam traction engine of course. ;D
Sod Buster is still shaking his head over the sight of Delmonico, his exposed reddened "cheeks" blowin' in the breeze, plowin' 40 acres with that steam-powered tractor in dark by the light of the tractor's carbide lights. What a strange sight indeed! ::) ::)
Going back outside later, he notices the Christmas Stocking with the woolen socks from Irish Tom. Wow, they surely are appreciated! There are surely some fine neighbors over there at that Ranch.
Quote from: Delmonico on December 24, 2005, 12:56:43 AM
Christmas Eve has come to the Dismal River valley...
Delmonico sees that they have hung their stockings on the mantle before leavin'. Delmonico goes to the barn and gets some balin' wire and fixes the hole in Trinity's. ;)
<<Arthor's note: That was Trinity's "good" sock. ;D>>
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on December 27, 2005, 06:49:06 PM
The noise from Slim's toy wakes Irish who wuz nappin in the Barn<-Arthur's Note -Sleeping it off ;D->
Irish grabs his Sharps and sights down the barrel, the gun bucks and roars. Irish sees a 'D' fall off the Blue Plate but it doesn't slow down. ...
Entering the ranch yard, Trinity sees this and suddenly feels sorry for the poor Germans and wonders why they always seem to be targeted for shootings while visiting this country.
Inside the house, Trinity runs into the living room, to the Tree and is very happy to see all of the gifts that have been left him. He also finds his sock has been mended with baling wire. "Mebbe this tahm it won' wair out so quickly!" He then removes his boots and hangs the other two socks on the mantle in the hopes that Santa will make a return visit and mend these. The room is filled with a strange odor as the heat from the fire evaporates the sweat.
While sitting quietly in front of the fire in his new night shirt while his regular clothes stand in the corner, he notices another package in the opposite corner of the room. He goes to it and finds that it is addressed to him from litl rooster. Trinity smiles warmly and opens it to find an interesting pair of spectacles that look like shotgun shells. After years of drinking his own brew, he has very little memory left and doesn't recognize them. Thinking that they are glasses to prevent snowblindness in Newbrasskey, Trinity goes outside and tries them on.
Suddenly, he is pitched once again into a dark cave, but there is a light at the very end. He runs off of the porch to get to it and slips in the snow. Slowly he gets back up and sees that there is only a little further to run, so he takes off at breakneck speed, slipping every third step. Somehow he misses the brush at the edge of the yard and ends up on the stage road and runs and runs. Again, he begins to panick because the end is not nearing! As he tires, he comes to a full stop and leans against his knees to breath. Only he has not stopped. He is still moving, but his legs are not moving. Trinity smiles as he thought it would never be possilble, but his dream of a moving sidewalk must have been invented. Trinity stands straight up, proudly because he wants everyone to see him when he comes out of the tunnel. He is sure that no one has ridden the sidewalk yet for fear of the unknown and that he is the first. Maybe they will call it Trinity's Moving Sidewalk.
He stands and stares at the tunnel opening, and stares, and stares, and stares. "This shore is takin' a long tahm!"
Suddenly, the sidewalk stops moving and Trinity is standing still. He looks around and realizes that he must have come to a juncture in the cave because in each direction that he looks, he can see an opening. "Ah shore wish they would put a lahght in this hair tunnel! Mebbe ain' no one ridden this thang, so they ain' lit it just yet."
Trinity steps to exit the tunnel on the left. When the sidewalk still does not move he begins to jump up and down. That's when he heard the loud crack followed by several more cracks. At that moment, Trinity fell and the glasses came off revealing that he was not in a tunnel, but in the middle of the frozen river. Each effort he made to bring himself back to the edge caused more cracking until he finally broke through and beneath the surface. Several seconds later a large cube of ice with Trinity firmly frozen inside, floated back to the surface and bobbed. The "
Light at the End of the Tunnel Shooters Glasses" (® Litl' Rooster) lay on the ice.
>litl' rooster and Pea Eye out for a ride see, Trinity clinging to a chunk of Ice, in the river. Taking down his reata he throws a "Hoolie" that snags Trinity and the pair pluck him from the water.Takes him back to the heat of the house.
SURE WISH YOU HAVE HAD READ THE LABEL TO YOUR PRESENT PARD.
When Delmonico sees lit rooster coming with the block of ice with Trinity inside, he goes and gets a washtub to stand the ice in. Don't need the water on the kitchen floor. ;D
When Trinity is in the washtub Delmonico gets and Idea and gets some of his citrus fuit he had shipped in for Christmas and cuts it up and puts it in the tub, he then added some canned fruit juice and some gin. He gets a ladle and scoops it up into cups, "Fruit Punch anyone?" ;D ;D :D
the label reads
ALSO AVAILABLE IN:
.16/16 GA.
.20/20 GA.
.28/28 GA.
AND COMBINATIONS OF.
FOR OUR FAR SIGHTED SHOOTERS
ALSO AVAILABLE IN:
.410/410 GA
NEAR SIGHTED SHOOTERS
.10/10 GA
AND BIFOCALS TOO!!
CAUTION:
OBJECTS IN VIEW MAY BE CLOSER THEN THEY APPEAR!!
Light at the End of the Tunnel Shooters Glasses
By Litl' Rooster
Endorsed by:
The world renowned Bozo's on the Bus
Shooting Team
NOT YET APPROVED BY:
SASS, NCOWS, NRA, IBBA, NMLRA, OSHA, NAFTA, NHRA, AND OTHERS
(ftp://ftp://ALSO%20AVAILABLE%20IN:%3Cbr%20/%3E.16/16%20GA.%3Cbr%20/%3E.20/20%20GA.%3Cbr%20/%3E.28/28%20GA.%3Cbr%20/%3EAND%20COMBINATIONS%20OF.%3Cbr%20/%3E%3Cbr%20/%3EFOR%20OUR%20FAR%20SIGHTED%20SHOOTERS%3Cbr%20/%3EALSO%20AVAILABLE%20IN:%3Cbr%20/%3E.410/410%20GA%3Cbr%20/%3ENEAR%20SIGHTED%20SHOOTERS%3Cbr%20/%3E.10/10%20GA%3Cbr%20/%3EAND%20BIFOCALS%20TOO!!%3Cbr%20/%3ECAUTION:%3Cbr%20/%3EOBJECTS%20IN%20VIEW%20MAY%20BE%20CLOSER%20THEN%20THEY%20APPEAR!!%3Cbr%20/%3E%3Cbr%20/%3E%3Cbr%20/%3E%3Cbr%20/%3E%3Cbr%20/%3E%3Cbr%20/%3ELight%20at%20the%20End%20of%20the%20Tunnel%20Shooters%20Glasses%3Cbr%20/%3EBy%20Litl'%20Rooster%3Cbr%20/%3E%20%3Cbr%20/%3EEndorsed%20by:%3Cbr%20/%3EThe%20world%20renowned%20Bozo's%20on%20the%20Bus%20%3Cbr%20/%3EShooting%20Team%3Cbr%20/%3E%3Cbr%20/%3ENOT%20YET%20APPROVED%20BY:%3Cbr%20/%3ESASS,%20NCOWS,%20NRA,%20IBBA,%20NMLRA,%20OSHA,%20NAFTA,%20NHRA,%20AND%20OTHERS)
authors note: sorry the real lable didn't print.
As the ice melts away from Trinity's head, he is finally able to talk.
"Thanks, litl' rooster, fer them funny glasses. Them mus' be some sort of magical glasses, cuz when Ah put them on... read what? ??? Ah kain' read.
Say... would someone please pour some of that there punch in mah mouth?
Delmonico goes and gets one of the Rigby 8 gauge cases ans squints his eye enough to hold it, He looks up and says, "Verrrly interestin', Sgt. Schultz, throw these men in to cooler." ;D
He then graps a wooden spoon, tucks it under his arm and marches to his office and closes the door. ;D Soon an order is runnin' along the barbed wyre for a Model 1871/84 Mauser and Model 1883 service Revolver. As an after thought he orders a black leather helmet with a large spike on top and a case of DMW ammo for both ::) ::).
He then writes a letter,
Dear Count Ferdnand Von Zeppelin,
Was reading an article about you spearments with airships, would you please send me a price quote on your first production model as soon as you have the flaws ironed out. Address the quote to Delmonico, at, The Ranch with No Name, Dismal River, Newbrassky. Let me know as soon as possible, I have an interesting idea as for a practical use for one.
Yours Truly
Delmonico
PS, tell Willy Howdy for me, got an E-Mail from his granny Vicky the other day. She says she wants him and the rest of his cuzins to try to get along better, it will cause trouble in the family if they ain't careful ::)
with the help of Trinity we pack the tub of fruit punch and bottle of sqizzens to the cooler. Pard, maybe could trade sum of this juice off to the others there...
When Trinity is asleep under the Christmas tree, Delmonico grabs his jug and adds enough white sugar to make it syrupy and then adds some peppermint extract. ;D He them puts a beef roast in a merry-nate of vinegar, water, salt onions, garlic, bay leaf, sugar and peppercorns and puts it in the icebox. ::)
He then bakes up a batch of ginger snap cookies and makes some pumpernicle bread. ;D
Irish hears Trinity's lamenting plea and pours several ladelfull of the Fruit Punch into Trinity's mouth. He then gets a cup of coffee for himself, he hears Delmonico typing away on something in his room. Irish decides to go out on the porch to finish his coffee.
"Thankee fer tha drank, pard! Ah needed that. Sleepin' standin' up in a block of ice ain' ver' comfortable! Kin Ah have another ladle?"
*Sniff* *Sniff* "Issat Ginger snaps Ah smail?"
But by now the merry-nated roast has been cooked till tender and the gingersnap cookies are crunched up and in the gravy. ;D
Unknown to the others in the ranch house, Trinity spots what looks like a coyote or wolf but it has one blue light eye, could this be one of the creatures that took Delmonico, could this be the end for Trinity, are the sheep in Danger What will happen Now??
Well, lucky for Trinity, enough ice has melted from his feet that he is able to hop out of the pan and run upstairs on his tip-toes and hide in the FFG's cupola. Inside, he finds the FFG napping with two mama dogs, one papa dog, several baby dogs, one big cat, a sheep and a chicken with a mis-matched head sleeping all around her. Oh yes, and one spider who is snoring louder than the entire crew.
Delmonico goes into the Wedgewood room and looks into the mirror, he decides that putting a dueling scar on his cheek with a saper is gonna hurt really bad and decides against it. ;D Instead he goes out and watches to make sure the French are not going to attack. ::)
He knows if he thwarts off an attack Bismark will award him an Iron Cross. ;D
Slim rides into the dooryard and sees a canine critter with a blue light eye. He's not sure if he should shoot it or let it alone 'cuz it might be some enchanted critter. He decides ta let it alone and takes his horse into the barn. He emerges from the barn with the saddlebags and his new "Mighty Ten" that he got fer Christmas.
delmonico decides the Mother Ranch is safe, he realizes the only Frenchman near by is about a 150 miles to the North West and is really Swiss. ;D ;D (I'll give you a dollar if'n ya figure that one Slim.)
He decides to go in and have a samwhich for luch, Braunschweiger on pumpernickle, with sharp cheddar, mustard, horse radish and a few raw cabbage leaves. ;D
Slim walks into the kitchen to put the Wiscooooooooooonsin cheese in the icebox. He is hit by a shockwave of odor that almost makes him retch. He pinches his nose and puts the cheese in the icebox. "Del, how can ya eat that nasty liver sausage?" >:( >:( >:(
<Authur's note: Only a dollar?>
<Author's Note: Ok, two loaves of my Czech Sourdough rye like I passed around last year at the NCOWS Conv, I'll bring them to the Conv. this year if ya figured it out, the right Google request shood get it. I'll check. ;D>
<It's there Slim, got 7500 hits. ;D>
Leberwurst is not as bad as Leber by itself! (http://www.cascity.com/sws/chat/images/smiley11.gif)
Delmonico decides to go out for a walk in the moonlight, so he graps a 73 winchester and heads out for a walk, About 3 miles west of the ranch house he comes to a spot where the grass is laid flat, lots of it, for now reason, flat like some myserious force has done it, flatter than a pancake flat. ::)
Seeing more of it up ahead it gives Delmonico a strange feeling something is wrong and he heads back to the house rather quickly. :o It just seems like something that needs looked at better in the daylight. ;D
With most of the ice now melted and only his trunk and arms still frozen, Trinity goes and stands in the middle of the strange flattened grass in the hopes that some strange power will melt the rest of the ice will off.
Suddenly a deep voice booms from above... or from the east, no west. Heck a deep voice booms from somewhere:
From far beyond the galaxies I've journeyed to this place
To study the behavior patterns of the human race
And I find them highly illogical
Girl meets boy they fall in love
She says he's everything she's dreamed of
But when they get married before he's aware
She changes his habits the way he combs his hair
She changes him to someone he's never been
And then complains he's not like other men
Now really I find this most illogical
Take the case of your automobiles
Greatest invention since man discovered wheels
Hydromantic overdrive four-on-the-floor
Pushbutton windows pushbutton doors
Double barreled carburetors rush you anyplace
But you never can find a parking space
Highly illogical
Take the case of modern man
He works all his life gives it all he can
Saves all his money works overtime
Pinches every penny banks every dime
All he can think about is money but you know
That he can't take it with him where he's going to go
Now I find that fascinatingly illogical
Now is the time to journey home to tell of what I've learned
My people I believe have every right to be concerned
For in spite of computers and advanced psychology
Behavior patterns are still a mystery
I predict the future of this earthly human race
Is that having made a mess of Earth They'll move to outer space
Well there goes the neighborhood
Totally, completely, absolutely, irrevocably, highly illogical
Delmonico has been preparing and repairing his ballon all day and has now got the high-dre-gin generator running again, airy-al observations of the flat grass fee-non-e-men is in order. ::)
As he's working into the evening he also here the illogical song, it strikes fear into Delmonico because he has heard that voice before, the booming voice that whines about every thing being illogical. It is illocical that someone can whine so much about things being illogical. Delmonico fears he is here and hoillors, "Slim, load up the Mighty 10 with buckshot, that sounds to me like the logical thing to do. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Slim grabs the old and new "Mighty Tens". "Thunk, thunk!" He hands one to Del. "Thunk, thunk!" ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Delmonico graps the shotgun in one hand and Slim's collar in the other. He drags Slim into the wicker basket of the balloon and releases the mooring rope. ;D
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
The scream wakes Stoney from his slumber. He runs out on the porch just in time to see Slim and Del begin to rise in the basket. ??? ???
"Well...at least it ain't one of them Blue plates." ;D
Out over the flattened grass, they can see a design, the design is rather strange, it is of a man. :o A man with a hair cut that looks like it was cut with a bowl. ;D The man has strange eyebrows, but most strange is that his ears come to a point at the top. ::) ::)
As the ballon heads back, Delmonico remembers the face of the man with the pointy ears, it is the man who was singing the song last night. ;D :o ::) Delmonico shudders, thinkin' he could have bought that one by mistake when he was lookin' at wax cylinders for the fonygraph. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Irish walks out of the barn in time to see Del and Slim floating away in the balloon,Slim screaming like a sireeen. Irish nods to Stoney and walks into the kitchen to see if there's any coffee.
Delmonico looks at Slim as the land, "Despite the fact this looks like a laundry basket Slim, don'r be leavin' yer soiled drawers in it." ;D ;D ;D
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Delmonico moors the balloon and heads into the kitchen to make breakfast. Twenty minutes later he looks out the window and Slim is still standin' in the basket, eyes closed screamin'. ;D ;D ;D
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Slim opens his eyes and notices the basket is on the ground. He leaps outta the basket and kisses the ground. He, then, proceeds into the house to change his drawers. ::)
As Slim passes through the kitchen, even Trinity takes notice. Irish shakes hiz haid an sez, He musta stepped in somthin!
*sniff* *sniff* "Pewwww! What is that smail?"
Trinity suddenly recalls something from the previous evening and runs into the kitchen to Delmonico. "Dail! Ah 'member somethin' that singin' feller tolt me. He said his name was Mister Stop... or sumpin like that. Does that soun' familiar? He also tolt me that where he comes from they sang a song called: Twinkle, Twinkle Little Earth"
"That's Logical. I know he's also involed on some sort of Enterprise, but I don't remember what." ::)
I think his Enterprise is federated, right?
"think he said sumthin' about that, somethin about cling ons also, tolt him to use a page out a the Sears and Roebuck cataloge." ;D
"That was good advice. I hate when them cling ons get all itchy! >:("
I saw thet feller, as I wuz comin thru tha barn he said beam me. Bein tha obligin sort I iz I whacked im wif a 4x4!
"That was logical." ;D
"He meant to beam him up, not out" ;D ;D ;D
"Serves him right fer tearin' up Slim's pasture and singin' really bad." ;D
I don't know which is worse. The singing or the accompanying music. ??? ??? ???
Delmonico comes in with a 25 year old bottle of Scotch Whiskey. (single malt) "Some fella with a Scottish acent come and got the fella with the pointy ears that Tom bonked. He said he's always causin' trouble whin' about things being illogical and singin' off key. He left this as a thank you for not harmin' him to bad."
<Author's Note: If ya want an album by a 1960's TV star find a copy of Lorene Greens one. Much better.>
I was staring down the bore, of the deadly 44 of Ringo. Riiinnngggooooooo! ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on January 08, 2006, 03:07:48 PM
"think he said sumthin' about that, somethin about cling ons also, tolt him to use a page out a the Sears and Roebuck cataloge." ;D
<Arthur's note: Not my 1908 Sears catalog!>
http://www.gamerevolution.com/oldsite/download/trickyl/goodies/Video/baggins.mov
::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)
"Fer got to tell you Slim, there was a US Marshall from dodge City by lookin' fer ya, he had a warrant. ;D Big tall fella. Becareful though, I don't trust him, I noticed his side arm didn't have a firin' pin on the hammer. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;)
(JAuthor's Note: James Arness carried a Great Western with floating firing pin. ;))
Quote from: Delmonico on January 09, 2006, 10:21:15 AM
"Fer got to tell you Slim, there was a US Marshall from dodge City by lookin' fer ya, he had a warrant. ;D Big tall fella. Becareful though, I don't trust him, I noticed his side arm didn't have a firin' pin on the hammer. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;)
(JAuthor's Note: James Arness carried a Great Western with floating firing pin. ;))
<Arthur's note: Not a Colt!?!?!>
"A warrant fer what? I did notin' wrong!"
"Don't know, he didn't say, but the deputy rode a mule and said, "Mathew lets just shoot him and save us the trouble a haulin' this scallywag back to Dodge." ::) ::)
:o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o
"Hey Del, was the Deputy uglier than tha mule? I think I've seen them fellers before!"
mules is beutifull
<Authors Note: Ya can see the deputy in Rio Grande singin' to John Wayne and his wife dressed as a soldier. ;D>
"Slim you'll have to wait till the Marshall gets back to find out about the warrant. Perhaps ya better get a lawyer."
Quote from: Delmonico on January 09, 2006, 11:43:48 AM
<Authors Note: Ya can see the deputy in Rio Grande singin' to John Wayne and his wife dressed as a soldier. ;D>
"Slim you'll have to wait till the Marshall gets back to find out about the warrant. Perhaps ya better get a lawyer."
<Arthur's note: He can surely sing. He was part of the Sons of the Pioneers 'fore Roy Rogers and Bob Nolan joined 'em.>
"What would I want with one o' dem polecats?" ::)
"Might be better than going to Dodge City fer trial and Hays City to be hunged." ;D
"Ok when he gets here I'll see what I can do to help." :o :o :o
Quote from: Delmonico on January 09, 2006, 12:35:30 PM
"Might be better than going to Dodge City fer trial and Hays City to be hunged." ;D
"Ok when he gets here I'll see what I can do to help." :o :o :o
::) ::) ::) ::) ::)
The tall US Marshall comes to the door and Delmonico answers. Delmonico says that tSlim is there and he'll turn him over to the Marshall if he can see the warrant first. The Marshall produces a warrant from Kansas for Slim for cattle ruslin'.
Delmonico looks and points out the warrent is no good in Newbrassky and also points out that this is not a Federal matter and it ain't none of the Marshall's concern no how. "Ya better just high tail yerself back to Dodge cy and that saloon ya hang out in." The Marshall says "Sorry." Cause Delmonico called his bluff and won. ;D ;D
As he's leavin' Delmonico torments him more and tells him, "Ya ought ta marry that lady also, ya durn fool." ;D
Delmonico opens the door to the cellar and tell's Slim, "come on out I saved yer butt, again." ;D ;D
As the Marshal steps off the porch, after talking to Del, Irish gets a good look at the Deputy. Irish is sure that the Deputy and the mule he is riding have a strong resemblance to each other, in fact they might even be family related. Irish points this out to Trinity.
Slim comes outta the cellar. "Thanks, Del. Time fer coffee!" Slim goes into the kitchen and starts a new pot.
<Authors Note: A US Marshall in Kansas would have been at the court in Topeka and only Deputy Marshalls would have been out and about. Since Kansas had their own laws, unlike the Indian Territory where they became famus, there would have been very little to do but collect taxes. ;D
No matter, wish we would still have as good a' TV as that show was. ;D>
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on January 09, 2006, 10:15:12 AM
http://www.gamerevolution.com/oldsite/download/trickyl/goodies/Video/baggins.mov
::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)
<<:o It's amazing how much pride money can buy. I think they must have bought up all of his!! ;D :D ;) ::)>>
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on January 10, 2006, 09:15:19 AM
As the Marshal steps off the porch, after talking to Del, Irish gets a good look at the Deputy. Irish is sure that the Deputy and the mule he is riding have a strong resemblance to each other, in fact they might even be family related. Irish points this out to Trinity.
Trinity rubs his eyes and looks at the two. Then he turns to Irish and tell him:
"Ah done had me a sister that looked lahk that. Her teef was large an' yaller an' stuck out too. Ever'body made fun of her till she done up an' runned away. A few years later we done heard that she were kicked in tha face by a real mule an the pour soul died a few days later!
"Mah sister? Oh, she lives yonder in Kansas, now. Married a dry-goods salesman, she is."
Quote from: Delmonico on January 08, 2006, 11:48:55 PM
Delmonico comes in with a 25 year old bottle of Scotch Whiskey. (single malt) "Some fella with a Scottish acent come and got the fella with the pointy ears that Tom bonked. He said he's always causin' trouble whin' about things being illogical and singin' off key. He left this as a thank you for not harmin' him to bad."
<Author's Note: If ya want an album by a 1960's TV star find a copy of Lorene Greens one. Much better.>
I was staring down the bore, of the deadly 44 of Ringo. Riiinnngggooooooo! ;D
<<I didn't know what to expect, but it wasn't bad.>>
Play Song (http://home.earthlink.net/~niemoller/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderfiles/lornegreeneringo.mp3)
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on January 10, 2006, 09:15:19 AM
As the Marshal steps off the porch, after talking to Del, Irish gets a good look at the Deputy. Irish is sure that the Deputy and the mule he is riding have a strong resemblance to each other, in fact they might even be family related. Irish points this out to Trinity.
...authors note...litl' rooster the errant cattleman now the newly appointed Brand Inspector, thinks the Deputy is uglier than a Spotted Ape
Riding in, from 9 days on the trail, out serving warrants issued by the Terriortly governor, goes to the house for a hot cup of coffee, see's the warrant, the Tall city Marshall left with Delmonico. Laughing out loud....Them city boyz have been looking for this one over a month, I delievered him this week to Hays City. The gull, they think Slim is the man?!?!
Delmonico looks up from the stove< "Well I wouldn't put it past him but a Kansas warrant ain't no good in Newbrassky, sides that rustlin' ain't no Federal Crime, so it ain't that Marshall's bizziness no how."
"Course that 5000 acres of Guviment land that he illeagally fenced is a Federal crime." ;D ;D :o
He's just tryin to perserve it Del! ;)
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on January 11, 2006, 07:42:29 PM
He's just tryin to perserve it Del! ;)
from the Lawyers and Bankers...........
Quote from: Delmonico on January 11, 2006, 06:06:56 PM
"Course that 5000 acres of Guviment land that he illeagally fenced is a Federal crime." ;D ;D :o
"Now ya tell me." ::)
"Do the math Slim, ya can only Homestead 160 acres, we're the first here so nobodies proved up yet for ya ta buy off. How ever there is a good side to this all that will save you." ::) ;D ;)
Del the 5000 acres is protected land so Slim can save the endangered cheeses! ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on January 12, 2006, 10:19:45 AM
"Do the math Slim, ya can only Homestead 160 acres, we're the first here so nobodies proved up yet for ya ta buy off. How ever there is a good side to this all that will save you." ::) ;D ;)
"We ain't homesteadin'. We'z ranchin'!" ;D
<Author's note: Tell that to the one's who went to jail fer fencin' the Ranch. ;D>
Quote from: Delmonico on January 12, 2006, 02:32:50 PM
<Author's note: Tell that to the one's who went to jail fer fencin' the Ranch. ;D>
"Tweren't my idea to build the fence." ::)
Quote from: Delmonico on September 28, 2004, 07:40:41 PM
"We gonna have ta run some fences ta keep the cattle from strayin'. Slim ya gonna have ta get us some bob' wiiire." :o
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on September 29, 2004, 09:33:51 AM
"Ain't this open range country. We don't need no stinkin' bob wire! Besides where would ya get posts with no trees out here."
Quote from: Delmonico on September 29, 2004, 09:49:15 AM
... This is govermint land Slim, if we don't fence it in we'll have nesters all over out pastures and hayfiels, you didn't think we owned all this land?
"If I go ta jail, I shouldn't be alone." ;D
Quote from: Trinity on September 28, 2004, 07:46:13 PM
Trinity takes a good look at the cattle and says to Delmonico: "Boy, don't them start mah stomach to growlin'! Got any good tenderloin recipes, Delmonico?? If you make up a good tenderloin, Ah'll go and put up the posts fer the bob war!"
"Relax Slim, I decided that it's 1885 here on the ranch. We have until 1901 to use the range free of charge, till McKinnley gets shoot and Rooservelt makes the fences come down.. Sides that I was smart enough to file on the 160 the buildings are on. ;D We gots the improvements and I get the deed in 3 1/2 years." ;D
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on January 12, 2006, 02:53:41 PM
"Tweren't my idea to build the fence." ::)
"If I go ta jail, I shouldn't be alone." ;D
Trinity listens to Slim implicate him and Delmonico as accomplices.
"Ah din' do nothin'. Del never made me that tenderloin. Ah din' do nothin'!"
*GROWL* "Spakin' of tenderloins, Del, ya wanna make us up some now?" *GROWL*
Well get Slim to buther a steer, ya want it cut about 2 inches thick and wrapped with bacon afore I broil it. ;D
"Stoney! Get yer lazy butt offa the porch. Yous gonna help me butcher a steer." ;D
MEAT!(http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/food/1.gif) Stoney runs to his room and takes his knife from his saddle bags. A few quick passes on the rarely used razor strap :D and he's good to go.
"Where's the fatted calf?"
"We'z got ta go round one up. Let'z go." Slim steps of the porch to go saddle his horse.
Stoney grabbs his SxS and saddles his own horse. Laying the shotgun across his saddle he mount up and awaits Slim's lead.
Slim saddles his horse and rides toward the herd with Stoney in tow. ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on January 13, 2006, 10:24:02 AM
Well get Slim to buther a steer, ya want it cut about 2 inches thick and wrapped with bacon afore I broil it. ;D
"Wail, if'n yer gonna give me a choice, kin ya cut it
three inches thick an don' leave no surface area free of bacon, please!"(http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/food/72.gif)(http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/food/72.gif)(http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/food/72.gif)
At noon the next day Delmonico and Trinity are waitin' with the oven hot and bacon in hand, but no Slim or Stoney with the tendeloin to be turned into Fillet Min-yo-ion. ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ???
Irish rolls out his wagon, chocks the wheels and gets a ladder. He climbs to the top of the barn to keep a lookout for Slim and Stoney. He hollers down to Del and Trinity, aint no sign of em in any direction Del, ya reckon they mighta got lost?
litl' rooster asleep in his bomb shelter hears, Lucky Irish Tom's inquiry and decides to saddle his Horse and go looking for Slim and Stoney...Takin along his SxS and a xtry rope.
Delmonico gets up in the night to use the Wedgewood room, he looks out the windo and sees about a foot of snow on the ground and more coming down fast. He says, "Well at least the wind ain't blowin'" and heads back to bed wonderin' what trouble Slim has got poor Stoney Pete into.
As he goes back to sleep he decides not to worry, if litl rooser don't find them, Delmonico can do something to save them, don't he always rescue Slim. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
In the morning there is 18 inches of snow on the ground. As Delmonico finishes the breakfast dishes the wind comes up and in a few minutes a nasty prairie blizzard is raging. :o :o
Irish tries climbing back up onto the barn to look for Slim, Stoney, and litl rooster, but in the near whiteout conditions he can't see a thing. Irish goes back in the house to warm up and get some coffee.
In the middle of the night Trinity wakes Delmonico. "Ah'm real hongry! Is thar anythin' ta eat? It don' have ta be a tenderloin. D'we got any other parts of a cow that we kin eat? Uh, an' Ah don' wan' no oysters!"
Slim and Stoney, near frozen, come riding into the dooryard with a steer in tow.
Delmonico comes out on the porch and looks, Don't bring that thing into the yard, it well make a mess." He then goes back inside. ;D
Slim takes the steer round the back of the barn and ties it there. Stoney and Slim unsaddle and care for their horses then head for the house to thaw out. They get some coffee and huddle around the stove.
Delmonico goes and gets the bucket and the mop and places it by Slim and Stoney. ;D
After they thaw, Stoney mops the floor. ;D
"Slim ya better get that steer butchered and that tenderloin in here. Trinity says he is so hungry he could eat a horse. I just caught him in the barn with a knife and fork in your hoses stall." ::)
:o :o :o :o
"Stoney we better butcher that steer quick." Stoney and Slim grab some knives and a saw and head for the barn. They bring the steer in the barn. After, awhile Stoney and Slim come in with some choice cuts of beef.
Delmonico shovels some coal into the cookstove and gets er' red hot. He then puts the bacon wrapped tenderloin in. "We'll if we were from France theyed call these somethin' fancy like Fillet men-yooon."
litl' rooster returns, taking his horse to the barn he see's the hide from the butcher steer. Stopping to examin' the brand....it looks like Slim's running S. Grooming Pea Eye off and givin' him a bucket of oats and some hay, I head to the house. There Stoney is mopping the floor from Trinity's drool. Delmonico is cooking meat on the hot stove. Removing my boot's and long coat on the porch, I step in. Filling his cup, I remind Slim and the others I butchered a fat in December, it is hangin' in the ice house..authors note<<<<Even Trinity couldn't eat a whole steer in that short of time>>>> I even left some tallow in buckets there in case you need to make some bullit gease. You think we will git much more snow?
Thinkin' a moment, I tell delmonico, You know if we had a pair of them long boards with the curved up ends, like those people in Switzerland use. We could take the front wheels off yer steam traction machine. Then put them in it's place and we could get around really good in the snow
From the barn: "Dang! ... Derned thang! DEL! YA GOTS A SHARPER KNIFE?
Hey Slim, ya better go tell Trinity that the fee-lay myn-young is done or ya might not have a horse to ride. ;D ;D
Slim sticks his head out the door and hollers,"Leave my horse alone! The steaks are done!"
Irish hears Slim's call about the steaks. As he steps out of the stall from tending his horses he sees Trinity poking on Slims horse with a dull knife and fork, before Irish can say anything Slim horse locks and loads then launches Trinity in the direction of the house. Irish wipes off his hands and pulls the dazed Trinity from a snowdrift and drags him into the kitchen. Depositing Trininty on the floor by the stove Irish goes to wash up.
Trinity shakes off the dirt and snow (like a dog ::)) and seats himself at the table.
"Thanks pard! Boy is Ah glad that we's gonna have steak after all. Ah thank Slim's horse woulda been a little tough!
...
...
"Whar is ever'body?"
While Trinity is lookin' around, Delmonico puts some creamed turnips on his plate. ;D ;D
The scent reaches Trinity's nose, causing him to gag violently. (http://www.cascity.com/sws/chat/images/smiley11.gif)
When his back is turned again Delmonico puts buttered beets on his plate. ;D
Now uncontrollably spewing chunks all over the dining table, Trinity grabs his tenderloin and runs out of the room. A brief search finds him in the living room sitting on his heels gnawing at the tenderloin while holding it with both hands and nervously looking left and right.
Slim grabs a rag and mop, and throws 'em in the parlor. "Trinity you come back here and clean up yer mess 'fore we rub yer nose it in!" >:(
Delmonico says, "Also no dessert for him for the next week." ;D
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
:'( :'( :'( :'(
Trinity quickly picks up the mop and goes to clean his mess, cutting his eyes at Delmonico as he passes. The barf has no effect on him, but as he wipes up the beets, his stomach begins to turn again.
"Maybe you can have dessert tommorow night if ya eat all yer supper, I've got it planned." ::) :o :o ;D
"Claire! Come here girl! Gonna have somethin' fer ya ta eat. ;D ;D ;D"
Claire takes one sniff of the beets and barfs on Trinity's shoes!
"There, there girl." Trinity rubs Claires head. "Say, whar didja get them hot dogs?"
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on January 18, 2006, 08:20:09 PM
Claire takes one sniff of the beets and barfs on Trinity's shoes!
You'd better run now Trinity, before someone rubs yer nose in it.
When Trinity runs out into the yard all the dog barf stays on his shoes. Delmonico cleans up the rest of the kitchen and heads to the ice box. Unkown to Slim he went out to the offal pile that Slim and Tom had made butcherin'. He gets the kidneys of the steer out of the ice box, put them in a pan of water and starts to boil the pxxx out of them. ::)
Quote from: Delmonico on January 19, 2006, 09:13:52 AM
When Trinity runs out into the yard all the dog barf stays on his shoes. Delmonico cleans up the rest of the kitchen and heads to the ice box. Unkown to Slim he went out to the offal pile that Slim and Tom had made butcherin'. He gets the kidneys of the steer out of the ice box, put them in a pan of water and starts to boil the pxxx out of them. ::)
<Arthur's note: I think the proper term is urea.> ;D
With what ever boiled out of the kidneys, Delmonico chops them up and adds some shaved steak to it with a little water. When it is tender he thickens it with cornstarch and pours it into a pie crust. He then adds a top crust and bakes it. Trinity can have pie tonight, steak and kidney pie. ;D
authors note>>>>my granny always said boil the pxxx out of the kidneys also....<<<<<
Draggin the tongue in and ask, Delmonico if he could pickle it for me..
"Well I spose I could, I was planning on smokin' it, but pickled would be fine. Bring in the heart and liver and we'll have Braunswigger, cllean out the large intestines well afore we stuff that liver sausage in them." ;D ;D
Since Trinity didn't come in to supper last night, Delmonico warms up the pie for Slim, whenever he gets his butt out of bed and comes to breakfast. Delmonico also statrts boiling the tounge in vinegar and spices and also starts boiling the heart and liver to make the Braunsweiger.
The kitchen is soon filled with fragrent steam. Delmonico figgers that drifting up-stairs will soon wake up Slim. Looking in the ice box, Delmonico sees the horseradish is almost gone so he bring some more roots from the cekllar and grinds those also, filling the kitchen with the not even close to mild smell of horseradish. His eyes water as he grinds be he is carful not to let his nose drip in the ground root.
(Author's note: If anyone has ever ground horseradish the last bit will be well understood. ;D)
Late in the afternoon, Delmonico decides Slim has slept long enough and takes a cold pitcher of water up stairs to gently awake him. ;D Opening Slim's door he sees no Slim and the Mighty London's Best 10 gauge is also not hanging on the wall. ???
Delmonico goes to the barn and sees Slim's horse is gone, Slim has snuck home a day early. ;D
Delmonico keeps the pie in the warming oven, Trinity or litl rooser may be hungry, Delmonico sure ain't going to eat it. ;D
Trinity bursts into the kitchen clutching a fork and knife. "Ah heard there be a meat pah! :)"
Trinity goes to the table, his feet making a squishing sound inside his boots.
Irish walks in and gets a cup of coffee as Trinity is wolfing down the pie. Del smells like steak and kidney pie that Trinity is eating, and it also smells like somebody has been making horseradish. Enjoy that Trinity, most folks won't eat it. Irish takes his coffee out on the porch.
Delmonico makes a note in his cookbook that Trinity will eat rubbish that no one else will, but then we knew that. ;D ;D
Delmonico also looks for a tripe recipe, heck might as well not waste the good stuff on him. ;D ;)
lil rooster comes in and pours a coffee offers some to Lucky Irish Tom and Delmonico,. Seeing the pickled tongue he slices some off and puts between some of the sourdough and throws on a helpin' of horseradish. yer right Del, Trinity will eat anything, give him some of the Tripe.
"Dail, if ya grind that thar tripe up an' spread it on braid, it'll taste great!"
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/pottedmeat2.jpg)
:P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P
Do ya need another can?
wuld ya lik biscits n mustard with that
Nah. Just a slash of white bread will do fine. Thanks. ;D ;D
Trinity lad, you will eat anything! :o
As long as it once walked, crawled or slithered. (or flew) If it were once stuck in the ground, it ain' part of my diet. ;D ;D ;D
;D
Ya kin call Trinity anything Ya want, jes don't call Him late fer Dinner. :o
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
I'm late for almost everything else, but dinner? No way! ;D ;D ;D
Delmonico looks at Trinity. "Bread used to grow in the ground." ;D
And so did beer an' spirits, but all of these are processed to a point that ain' recognizable to their original form. ;D ;D ;D
Delmonico says, "Well them have some turnip likker, made it myself using yer #4 still." ;D
"That'll 'splain why them profits were down fer that still! Now Ah gotta run some tater likker through it ta sterilize it."
"I made Brussel Sprout Brandy in the #2 one." ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)
"I made Radish Rum in the #1 one." ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)
"Which one ya want me to run the Cabbage Con-yack in. ;D ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on January 22, 2006, 04:51:13 PM
"I made Brussel Sprout Brandy in the #2 one." ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)
"I made Radish Rum in the #1 one." ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)
"Which one ya want me to run the Cabbage Con-yack in. ;D ;D ;D ;D
YUK................................................dem are leaving sweaters on my tongue readin' it.
Hey Del, yer batch of Beet Bourbon from Trinity's # 3 is ready. Oh Hi Trinity, how come ya look so pale? Is yer stomach still a mite queasy?
"I know what will help, a jigger of the Squash Schnapps I made in his #6 still."
"Wail, luckily, ya ain' foun' mah "real" stills. So far, ya only foun' tha stills that Ah set up fer ya ta find. Ah had ta make it so complicated cause a whall back ya liked ta taint mah stills wif Castor earl. However, since yer askin', go ahead an make that cabbage cog-nack in: (http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/sad/17.gif)(http://www.cascity.com/sws/chat/images/smiley11.gif) Scuze me... in #2 since it's done been rernt.
"Since likker done been made, may as well give it a try. Pass that jug of beet bourbon on over. Less give 'er a try."
Delmonico pours Trinity a glass of the dark red whiskey. ;D
Slim rides into the dooryard. He takes his horse into the barn. He takes his warbags and the "Mighty London's Best 10 gauge" into the kitchen. "Smells of likker and beets in here!" He puts the Wiscoooooooooooonsin cheese in the icebox.
"Glad yer here, you can help me run this batch of Succotash Sourmash in Trinity's #1 still." ;D I'm gonna market likker with vit-er-mans to the health crowd." ;D
"Succotash Sourmash! What happened while I was gone?" :o ::)
Trinity refused to eat hiz vegables so Del decided we should turn em into Health Food Likkers. There jest might be a market for it too. I'm loadin up my wagon to haul some inta Town to the General Store. We're billin em as Vitamin's with a Kick, whatcha think Slim?
"It might work. Let me help ya load the wagon. I'd like ta go ta town with ya, if ya let me."
Trinity takes up the glass offered by Delmonico and sniffs: "Eewwwww, this stuff stanks!" He holds his nose and swallows the drink.
*Cough* *Cough* *Cough* <with a growl> "Stronnnnnggg, but... not bad. Dail, Ah got some barrels that ya orta store this stuff in afore tryin' ta sell it. It'll make it taste better, an' might just improve that awful smail! Whar's Gophergrease. Ah wan' him ta taste the new stuff. He's gotta aprove of it afore we take it ta tha miners."
Your welcome to ride along Slim, lets see if Trinity and Del can figger out whether they want to do it by the bottle or the keg!
"Thanks, Tom. It's better than being a nursemaid to beeves."
Delmonico ain't payin' no ' tention to them, he's out firin' up the Steam Traction engine. ;D
"We'll be able ta play F.R.I.S.B.E.E. agin." ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
With the boiler filled and the wood fire going well, Delmonico starts shoveling the coal into the fire box. ;D
Two hours later, the boiler is up to full steam. Delmonico gets out a strange lookin' contraption he made in the barn blacksmith shop. ??? He removes a small cup athat has tiny holes in the bottom, puts in fine ground dark coffee and clamps it together. ::) He clamps this to the steam valve of the steam traction engine, puts a demi\tasse cup under it and opens the valve. ::)
With a hiss of steam, dark thick coffee comes out. ;D Delmoico looks in amazement and says, "Wow that was quick, like and Express Train, I'll call it EEESSSPPPRREESSSOOOOO. He drinks the tiny cup of coffee and opens the throtte and heads down the road with the road drag cleaning up the winter ruts. ;D
Slim and Tom finish loading the wagon and head off for Town with Del's Dynomite Vitamin Juice!
Slim and Tom while you are in town could you pick me up a gallon of the that smushed up peanut spread? I'll be in my bomb shelter till Delmonico banks the fire on that thing ;D
When Delmonico is not looking Trinity drops the jug of Delmonico's Asparagus Aperitif into the steam traction engine's fire box. ":o That stuff weren't no good a'tall!"
Quote from: litl rooster on January 24, 2006, 05:27:20 PM
Slim and Tom while you are in town could you pick me up a gallon of the that smushed up peanut spread? I'll be in my bomb shelter till Delmonico banks the fire on that thing ;D
"We can do that, Litl Rooster."
Delmonico is half way to Dunning when the likker finnally burns out, Delmonico realizes it will take 3 days to get back on coal and he don't have enough. He'll have to sup=lee-ment with what he can find. ;D
Suddenly Delmonico's steam traction engine begin's to make rumbling sounds not unlike ones belly after a healthy dose of castor oil. Before Trinity can get away the fire box expands in size before spewing flame out the stack a hundred feet into the sky. Trinity stares wide eyed at the tractor as the machine settles down.
:o
"DERN!"
<<Authors note: Del, I was writing this while you were writing yours. I thought the engine was in the yard at home!>>
<Author's note, bring me some radish rum and we'll get it home or run it through litl roosters bomb shelter. ;D>
Quote from: Delmonico on January 25, 2006, 06:30:25 PM
<Author's note, bring me some radish rum and we'll get it home or run it through litl roosters bomb shelter. ;D>
>author's note< you'd better re attach the steam shovel to it.....
<Authors note: The steam shovel is a seperate piece of equipment still sittin' on it's rails. ;D A ten ton steam engine going 200 mph has enough kinnetic energy to penatrate.>
"Ah done drunked tha raddish rum. It weren't much good, but it did tha job." ;D
With the coal running out, Delmonico uses a pole with chewin' gum on the end to pick up stray cow chips. (Yes Beeman gum and several others were made, Santa Anna help intorduce chewin' gum to the world. A far worse crime than the other things he did. ::))
Sod Buster pulls his wagon along side of Del and his noisy contraption. He offers Del some of the Buffalo Chips that he has collected while out foraging for fuel to burn . It is good to see a familiar face. The prairie can get quite cold and lonely in that drafty old Soddy!
>authors note< litl' rooster fearing that Delmonico mixing a solid methane based fuel and al ky hal fuel together is asking fer trouble and decides to stay put. The bomb shelter has enuff stores fer a month. ;D
The next evening, Delmonico is still headin' home, cookin' in the firebox and keepin' awake with the new coffee invention. ;D litl rooster ain't the only one with supplies. ;D
Slim and Irish are on their way back to the ranch. The healthy likker did not go over well. Half the Town disliked the taste and the half that did like it is now a little too regular. It might be best if the residents of the Ranch With No Name avoided the Town of Dunning for awhile. At least Slim and Irish were able to pick up some supplies before they were run out of Town, including the smushed peanut spread that litl rooster asked for.
Delmonico finnally gets home by burning every cow chip 'tween the ranch and almost to Dunning. ;D
He gets there just as Slim and Tom get back, Delmonico wonders what trouble Slim has got them into now, since they are both covered with tar and feathers. ;D
Trinity hops on his horse and rides over to the stranger that lives in the soddy.
"Ain' seen him lately. Plus, ah wanna git me some of his an' litl rooster's corn. Ah'm runnin' low... big demand up in them minin' camps this year" Trinity tells his horse.
Slim finally gets the tar and feathers offa him. ::) He goes in the kitchen ta start breakfast.
Irish follows Slim into the house to get some coffee and breakfast, but on his way out of the barn he grabs one of the feathers and sticks it in his hat. When he gets to the kitchen he looks at Slim and says, So much for Del's business idea!"
Trinity arrives at Sod Buster's soddy at dusk. Sod Buster invites him in to pull a cork and plink at the field mice that like to come inside where it is warmer.
"Thanks pard. Listen. Ah wanna talk to ya 'bout ay-quirin' some corn fer mah next batch. Ah don' wanna have ta make some of Dail's concoctions. Ah thank that Beet Bourbon will git me strung up! :o ...
"Ooh! Thar's a mouse. Now, shoot fer the haid... we don' wanna waste no meat!"
BANG!! Got 'em!!!................oh oh......looks like that there snake got to the mouse first. No meat fer us. :'( I guess we got something else to shoot at! ;D
Sure, you kin have some corn to make another batch. I am gettin' low on corn squeezin's myself. I could use a new jug.
Slim finally finishes making breakfast of eggs, bacon, bisquits, taters, and coffee. "Breakfast is ready!"
Irish joins Slim for breakfast, still picking little pieces of tar off his person.
'Bout dark, Delmonico rides in with a bunch of Double Eagles and an empty wagon, with Trinity passed out in the back. ::) No tar or feathers are on either. ;D
Trinity wakes up in the back of the waggon and tries to remember what happened. He vaguely remembers chopping the head off of the snake and cooking the snake and the mouse while tha stranger pulled the cork on his last jug. Sometime after that, Trinity remembers being in the middle of Mexico with Ozark Tracker standing next to a strange contraption and a bunch of Federales closing in. Everything is black after that.
Trinity gets out of the waggon and goes to the house. Inside he finds Del and suddenly more memory (or is it hallucination?) returns "Ya got any bear sign ready?"
<<how's that for mixing stories?>>
"Nope, but we sold all the Veggie Liquior and they want more, Slim and Tom don't understand marketing. I just tossed you in the wagon and took you to town, told them that is what they would end up looking like if they drank corn likker. ;D Told them that wouldn't happen drinking veggie likker." ::)
(http://www.cascity.com/sws/chat/images/smiley11.gif)(http://www.cascity.com/sws/chat/images/smiley11.gif)
"Wail if'n that's all what's 'vailable, kin Ah have a little Leek Likker, please? <<under his breath>> 'morry Ahm gonna have ta go back to tha stranger's an' git some corn out of his crib an' git started on the new batch!"
"Well you'll have to find yer corn stash, I sold all the veggie likker, unlike Tom and Slim, Tom should no better than let Slim get him in trouble also. That's all Slim does is to get himself into fixes and I have to rescue him. Like now, I bought him some turpintine to take off the tar." ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
"Ah reckon Ah orta not stand here with this burnin' candle then, huh?"
Too late the turpentine vapors find the canle and whoosh Trinity's eyebrows disappear in a sudden flash of light and heat!
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on January 31, 2006, 08:41:07 PM
Too late the turpentine vapors find the canle and whoosh Trinity's eyebrows disappear in a sudden flash of light and heat!
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
litl' rooster now a week in his Bomb shelter, feels no rumbling of Steam Traction Mo chines or the rattlin' of jugs in a wagon. Decides to look out side, The smell of burning hair and the black goo and feathers on the ground send shivers up his spine. >Was Chicken little right? the Sky was Falling< desides that dooms day must be near and saddles his horse and heads to Dunning.
Suddenly the windows on the house rattle a bit for no reason, everyone looks around. Delmonico hollors "Earthquake." :o
(Author's note, there was a 2.9 about 8 am this morning about 50 miles from where the ranch would be.)
Quote from: Delmonico on February 01, 2006, 07:18:32 PM
Suddenly the windows on the house rattle a bit for no reason, everyone looks around. Delmonico hollors "Earthquake." :o
(Author's note, there was a 2.9 about 8 am this morning about 50 miles from where the ranch would be.)
Rider and horse feel the unusal earth trembling and Galluop off to a safe area.............
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!
:D
Day afta, day, more piople come to LA, Sh--, don't ya tell them da whole place is shaken away........
Maybe moving a little to da East? ;D
(Authors note" Nebraska has several faults that shake from time to tim, but are small, the one yesterday has one every year or so about the same level, and the fault don't even have a name. ;D)
author's question> is the fault centered near the "Ranch with No Name"? ;D
arthur's note:> If it is we should call it Slim's fault!
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on February 03, 2006, 05:55:07 AM
arthur's note:> If it is we should call it Slim's fault!
:o :o :o :o :o ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
After Slim stops screamin', he goes to his room and changes his pants. He, then, comes back down and takes the mop from Del's out-stretched arm. He proceeds to cleanup his mess. ::)
<Authors Note: About 40-50 miles NNE of the ranch, neat Ainsworth. I like that, might have to contact UNL Geological Division and see about naming it. Makes me wonder how many other little faults around the country have no name. Perhaps just like theat naming a star thing you could pay to have a geological fault named after someone. ;D>
Arthur's note <The city of Lisbon (30 miles North from me) was destroyed by an earthquake in 1755>
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on February 03, 2006, 05:55:07 AM
arthur's note:> If it is we should call it Slim's fault!
litl' rooster takes the mop from Slim and cleans up his Coffee............ ;D >It's my own Damn
Fault,
Sod Buster finishes sweeping out the dirt that fell from the ceiling of his soddy into EVERTHING when the earth moved. Sheesh!
Delmonico goes down and checks the cellar and thinks he hears, someone signing:
"I hear the earth move under my feet." ;D
Quote from: Sod Buster on February 03, 2006, 05:29:26 PM
Sod Buster finishes sweeping out the dirt that fell from the ceiling of his soddy into EVERTHING when the earth moved. Sheesh!
It's the Darkside calling ya..
Del
the sky come tumbling down
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on February 03, 2006, 05:55:07 AM
arthur's note:> If it is we should call it Slim's fault!
"Awl Ah know is it ain' mah fault!!!"
<<Welcome back Scattered Thumbs!>>
Quote from: Trinity on February 04, 2006, 12:56:08 AM
"Awl Ah know is it ain' mah fault!!!"
<<Welcome back Scattered Thumbs!>>
[/b]
Good to be back Trinity. ;D
If its a fault maybe we should just call it Ooops!
Quote from: litl rooster on February 03, 2006, 07:17:09 PM
It's the Darkside calling ya..
Everything looked "dark"...even the sheets.
Sounds like yer singin tha song of the Soot Sodbuster!
Slim rides into the dooryard.
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on February 06, 2006, 09:11:34 AM
Slim rides into the dooryard.
well that's a lot better than the barn door ;D ;D
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on February 06, 2006, 01:28:46 PM
well that's a lot better than the barn door ;D ;D
<That's fer sure. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D>
Slim picks himself up offa the ground and leads his horse into the barn after he opens the door. ;D ;D ;D ;D
litl' rooster cleaning his saddle in the barn looks up to see Slim leading his hoss in...." How youd' git that bump on yer haid Slim ???" I ask. ;D ;D ;D realizing and chucklin to mah self, I know what the thud at the door was now. The others will be happy to see back. How was the wife and 27 kids of yers?
"I'z not gonna talk about the bump on my head. ::) The wife and kids are doin' fine."
Delmonico is workin' on another project in the blacksmith shop, he desides Slim looks silly with the bump on his head and pounds it flat with a 4 pound cross peen hammer. ;D ;D After all we're all just toons here, remember? ;D
After a full day at the still working Sod Buster's corn into mash, Trinity shows up at the soddy's door with three jugs. He shouts inside: "This here's fresh from the still. It'll peel yer skin off, but it'll work till the rest is finished. Right now it's a-settin an' agin'"
Slim lays unconscious on the floor with blood streaming from his head. :o :o :o :o
quick get some of Trinity's corn medicine, Slim needs a big whiff and a small drink, not too much we don't want to take all the skin off en his tounge
Trinity returns to the ranch to find Slim on the floor with clotted blood on his scalp. "Oh no! Them derned injuns done scalped him. Prolly wanted his bowie sheath!!"
Trinity carefully uncorks one jug and blows over the opening at Slims face. Slim comes to in an instant and coughs. "Careful Slim! Ya kin git drunk off them vapors. ;D ;D"
It's not quite clear if it's actually the recipe vapors or Trinity's breath that brought Slim back, but he was lucky that his blood clotted and he was out of any real harm... except for that smell that he can't get out of his nose. :o
litl' rooster pulls Trinity and his Jug away from the hot Wood burnin' stove................................................gees louise that was close.
Delmonico looks at Slim, kicks aside some straw and looks at the empty ketchup bottle. "Durn it Slim, that was our last bottle and ya wasted it ta get sympathy. Since you can't go to Dunning after yer tarrin' and featherin, run down ta Anselmo and get some more." ;D ;D
Quote from: Trinity on February 06, 2006, 06:41:32 PM
After a full day at the still working Sod Buster's corn into mash, Trinity shows up at the soddy's door with three jugs. He shouts inside: "This here's fresh from the still. It'll peel yer skin off, but it'll work till the rest is finished. Right now it's a-settin an' agin'"
After a while, Sod Buster opens the door and grabs the three jugs. He uncorks one of them and nearly faints after taking a good long whiff. DANG, this is strong stuff. Maybe I can use some of it to strip some paint or as a cleanser. He takes a swig and feels that comfortable burnin' feeling as it goes down. Trinty is so good at makin' this stuff, I wonder what he can do with the winter wheat when it is ready in a few months......hmmmmmmm <burp>
Sod Buster sits down at the door and pulls out his jaw harp to enjoy the rest of the day.
However it is not to pass, on the second twang the corn likker on his breath melts the twanger. ;D ::)
Quote from: Delmonico on February 07, 2006, 07:35:21 PM
However it is not to pass, on the second twang the corn likker on his breath melts the twanger. ;D ::)
:o :o :o :o
Back in the kitchen Delmonico notices his sink drain is backed up, he slips out to the barn where Trinity is passed out and steals his jug. ::) He pours two glugs into the drain and the pipes open up so fast that Delmonico is almost caught in the whirlpool. ::) ::)
Irish is walking by and sees Del pour some of the contents of the jug into the plugged up sink. He grabs Del's arm just before the maelstrom pulls him in. Del I don't know what you used to clean that clog but ya durn near pulled the house inside out! :o
Quote from: Delmonico on February 07, 2006, 06:55:28 PM
Delmonico looks at Slim, kicks aside some straw and looks at the empty ketchup bottle. "Durn it Slim, that was our last bottle and ya wasted it ta get sympathy. Since you can't go to Dunning after yer tarrin' and featherin, run down ta Anselmo and get some more." ;D ;D
"A guy can't be blamed fer tryin'. Now, I have to wash out my nose ta get this horrble stink outta it." Slim goes to the Wedgewood room to wash out his nose and ketchup offa his head.
Having been sharply pulled back by litl rooster, Trinity looks up and says "What?" (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/cowboy-huh.gif)
Quote from: Trinity on February 08, 2006, 06:31:37 PM
Having been sharply pulled back by litl rooster, Trinity looks up and says "What?" (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/cowboy-huh.gif)
Sorry Pard, was a fraid the vapors from that there Jug might explode next to the stove.....Didn't want you to make a ASH out of yerself
Delmonico heads to Dunning to the plumbin' shop, Trinity's corn likker ruined the drain pipes. :o
Quote from: litl rooster on February 08, 2006, 06:41:00 PM
Sorry Pard, was a fraid the vapors from that there Jug might explode next to the stove.....Didn't want you to make a ASH out of yerself
"Oh, whew! Thankee pard. That wouldn't be a good thang. Whars mah jug?" Trinity gets up and walks over to the sink and finds a huge hole where the drain used to be. "What in tarnation happened here? An whars mah jug?"
A few hours later the hole is much larger, the sink has disappeared and a large crater is beginning to form under the house! :o
Trinity stares down into the abyss and scratches his head.
Slim goes into the kitchen after he is finished washin' up. "What did y'all do to the sink?" He walk over for a closer look and sees the abyss.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
Slim runs from the house.
litl' rooster see's the others running from the house and goes and investigates....Slim, we might want to fire up the the steam shovel and git it ready. Delmonico is goin to want to back fill that hole.
Delmonico comes home with the drain pipe, "Slim, why did you tell me Trinity's likker made good drain cleaner? Look at the trouble you caused again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" ;D ;D ;D ::)
Tom reaches into the hole and pulls something out. Trinity's likker has eaten away everything but this clump. Tom examines it then drops it into Del's hands, "Dunno Del, looks like a clump a beard hair, n from the color I'd say it's Slim's." ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on February 09, 2006, 07:08:16 PM
Delmonico comes home with the drain pipe, "Slim, why did you tell me Trinity's likker made good drain cleaner? Look at the trouble you caused again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" ;D ;D ;D ::)
"I did no such thing!" >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:(
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on February 10, 2006, 04:51:22 AM
Tom reaches into the hole and pulls something out. Trinity's likker has eaten away everything but this clump. Tom examines it then drops it into Del's hands, "Dunno Del, looks like a clump a beard hair, n from the color I'd say it's Slim's." ;D
"I've been framed!" :o :o :o :o :o :o
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! Let me out! :o :o :o :o :o :o :o
Delmonico tosses the red hair away, "That ain't beard hair, that's nose hair, Slim's been trimmin' his nose hair again." :P :P :P
Seeing that Del's plumbing supplies won't fix the problem and seeing as how we are Toons, Irish Tom hops into an old frame and with a pair of huge scissors he pulls out of his boot he cuts out the section of the kitchen before the damage started and then jumps back to the current frame and pastes it into the hole. He then goes to the sink gets some water and puts on a pot of coffee!
Delmonico says, "Thanks, saves me firin' up the steam shovel to make concrete." ::) ::) ;D ;D
litl' rooster brushes the snow off comes in and pours a cup of coffee. Say Lucky, wasn't there a hole over there at the sink earlier?
"Tom fixed it, the dern thing was caused by Slim and his nose hair, who's the fool that got him the nose hair trimmer fer Christmas." ::) ::)
Quote from: Delmonico on February 11, 2006, 01:20:32 PM
"Tom fixed it, the dern thing was caused by Slim and his nose hair, who's the fool that got him the nose hair trimmer fer Christmas." ::) ::)
"The real question is who tolt him ta use it in the dern KITCHEN!?!?"
"Last time he used it in the barn and scared the horses." ::)
"Ah 'member that! Twixt Slim's screamin' an' tha creakin' of that ol' foot pedal, them hosses was just plumb affeared!"
"Ya and our best mule at the pile thinkin' it was Red Fescue hay, dern't near lost him."
Quote from: Delmonico on February 12, 2006, 04:06:54 PM
"Ya and our best mule at the pile thinkin' it was Red Fescue hay, dern't near lost him."
;D ::) ;D
"Slim really orta go back ta braidin' it lahk he used ta."
Slim rides into the dooryard.
I'll go get the medical kit again, isn't this how we started out last week! :o
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on February 13, 2006, 10:00:22 AM
I'll go get the medical kit again, isn't this how we started out last week! :o
;D ;D ;D ;D "Deja vu all over again."
<Arthur's note: For the record. door·yard - The yard in front of the door of a house.>
Slim picks himself up and brushes off his clothes. He walks his horse thru the opening of the barn, unsaddled the horse, puts it in the stall, and gives it some grain. He takes the "Mighty Ten" and saddlebags into the house.
Seein' that Slim's nose is bleedin', Delmonico grabs the tourniquet out of the first aid kit and stops the bleedin'. ::)
Excuse me Delmonico, I believe a tourniquet should be better placed between the bleeding and the heart.....Uh wait that would leave his neck..................ah nevermind
Look litl rooster Del put tha tournequet over Slim's mouth, that's tween the bleeding and the heart! ;D
"I could always stuff Sanitary Tissue from the Wedgewood room in his nose, he carries pens in his pocket in a cell-u-loyd pocket protecter already. litl rooster could ya make up a pair of yer special shootin' glasses in 10 gauge? Oh and put some paper tape on the bridge of the frame." ;D ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on February 13, 2006, 05:45:54 PM
"I could always stuff Sanitary Tissue from the Wedgewood room in his nose, he carries pens in his pocket in a cell-u-loyd pocket protecter already. litl rooster could ya make up a pair of yer special shootin' glasses in 10 gauge? Oh and put some paper tape on the bridge of the frame." ;D ;D ;D ;D
10 gauge not a problem
<Authors Note: An 1880's nerd?> ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ::) ::) ::) :P
These? ;D ;D ;D
"Yep, but the 10 gauge nerd model with the tape on the bridge. ;D Wow, I bet Slim is 'bout the only nerd that shoots a 10 gauge. ::) ::) ::) ::) Naw, fergot the nerd in "Streets of Larado" had a 8 gauge." :o :o :o :o
Quote from: Delmonico on February 13, 2006, 07:41:48 PM
"Yep, but the 10 gauge nerd model with the tape on the bridge. ;D Wow, I bet Slim is 'bout the only nerd that shoots a 10 gauge. ::) ::) ::) ::) Naw, fergot the nerd in "Streets of Larado" had a 8 gauge." :o :o :o :o
How nerdy was he? Cuz a
real nerd wouldn't even be able to handle the kick of such a gun! :o :o :o ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on February 13, 2006, 07:41:48 PM
"Yep, but the 10 gauge nerd model with the tape on the bridge. ;D Wow, I bet Slim is 'bout the only nerd that shoots a 10 gauge. ::) ::) ::) ::) Naw, fergot the nerd in "Streets of Larado" had a 8 gauge." :o :o :o :o
Nope Call, called it a .10 gauge, Tim Conway's son ? the book keeper?
(http://www.fantasyworldcostumes.com/images/Create-a-Pak,Nerd-761.jpg)
Slim's nose stops bleeding thanks to the tourniquet Del tied on his nose. He takes the tourniquet off and puts the cheese in the icebox. He starts a fresh pot of coffee.
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on February 14, 2006, 09:12:53 AM
(http://www.fantasyworldcostumes.com/images/Create-a-Pak,Nerd-761.jpg)
Slim's nose stops bleeding thanks to the tourniquet Del tied on his nose. He takes the tourniquet off and puts the cheese in the icebox. He starts a fresh pot of coffee.
NERD ALERT!!!!! ;D
litl' rooster smells the coffee from the work shop and heads in where he see's the Nerd. Fill's his cup and eyeballs him to fit like a farrier does a horse.
Delmonico looks at Slim's nerd freind and tells him he has to clean the barn afore he gets to eat. ;D
;D :D ;D
Who You calling Nerd? :o >:(
An Yes Ah use a 10ga. 4&1/2 drams of Holy Black and 1&1/4oz of #4 shot :o.
Ya want some ;D, can deliver it airmail. heh, Heh, HEH!
::)
Smells like Pyrodex to me :o Need to make the Marshall and Sheep bi focals so they can read labels
Doan matter tha nerd still needs to clean the barn, give im a sip from Trinity's jug that'll pep im up! ;D
>:(
Use Goex or Scotish FFF fer my pistols non of that wanna be phony soot.
>:(
rites down order 1 pr. of .10 gauge shootin' glasses fer Nerd
2nd 2 pr of . 10 by .32-20 bi focals fer sheep and rider.........
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on February 15, 2006, 08:46:18 AM
Doan matter tha nerd still needs to clean the barn, give im a sip from Trinity's jug that'll pep im up! ;D
:o "Heavens no! The poor feller would go inta shock!"
<Trinity thinks> "Say... what would kick worse? A .10 or a rubber band? An... 'bout how far d'ya thank the kick would knock that nerd feller back??"
Quote from: Trinity on February 15, 2006, 06:58:26 PM
:
<Trinity thinks> "Say... what would kick worse? A .10 or a rubber band? An... 'bout how far d'ya thank the kick would knock that nerd feller back??"
Maybe cousin Slim would video tape it fer us
Quote from: litl rooster on February 15, 2006, 07:05:53 PM
Maybe cousin Slim would video tape it fer us
;D ;D ;D Now that would be funny. Make sure it's at a high frame rate so's we kin watch it in super slow motion. ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Trinity on February 15, 2006, 07:19:21 PM
;D ;D ;D Now that would be funny. Make sure it's at a high frame rate so's we kin watch it in super slow motion. ;D ;D ;D
ifn' it's too slow you might see a Stunt Nerd standing in.
Nope, sign sez "No Stunt Nerds Allowed On The Set!"
Slim jumps on his horse and heads toward Ioway.
<Arthur's note: See y'all on Tuesday.>
<Authors Note: A 0.10 Gauge would be a cannon, seed a brass 000 gauge shell made by Winchester one time fer a breech-loading punt gun that FWS rules killed in the development stage, was about 2 1/2 inches in dia. and about 8 inches long, was 'spossed to hold 1 lb of shot. ;D>
Delmonico goes to the cupboard and finds a can of Havey and Curtis black powder. :o Dern it litl rooster, get them bifocals done, that sheep herders loadin' his shells again with my black pepper. ;D
Delmonico goes behind the barn and gets an extra pine tree he brought back on one of his trips to Long Pine Creek. (Yes it's a long one.)
He puts a rope and pulley on it and digs a hole and sets it in concrete. He then sneaks up to Slim's room and grabs a pair of Slim's long handles and runs them up the flag pole. ;D
Well lookit that, it must be a Union Jack Suit! ;D
Delmonico looks up and wonders how Slim got the white and blue skid marks on his long handles. He looks again and decides he don't want to know. ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on February 13, 2006, 07:41:48 PM
"Yep, but the 10 gauge nerd model with the tape on the bridge. ;D Wow, I bet Slim is 'bout the only nerd that shoots a 10 gauge. ::) ::) ::) ::) Naw, fergot the nerd in "Streets of Larado" had a 8 gauge." :o :o :o :o
8ga not SASS legal. Have ta use 10ga. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
got 3" hotchkiss shell by Winchester.
Quote from: Delmonico on February 16, 2006, 10:55:32 AM
Delmonico goes to the cupboard and finds a can of Havey and Curtis black powder. :o Dern it litl rooster, get them bifocals done, that sheep herders loadin' his shells again with my black pepper. ;D
My nose don't lie to me ....I sez he's shooting Pyrodex....Must be loading dem wimpy pistola with yer Black Pepper.
As far as Slim goes now I didn't know he was flying the Union Jack Suit...thought he was like the rest of us from the Green and Orange stripes
<Author's Note: What do you mean us?>
Quote from: Delmonico on February 16, 2006, 05:35:20 PM
<Author's Note: What do you mean us?>
oooops I forgot
goes back to order form adds...........3rd pair .22 bifocals fer selve :-[ :-[ :P
Delmonico looks at the clock and realizes he missed his tea and crumpets today. ::) ;D He fires up the steam engine and heads off down the left side of the road.
"litl rooster, ya got's green stipes in yer britches too?"
No, he's got them on the outside, the sheepherders been shootin' at him with the green buckshot again. ::)
Quote from: Delmonico on February 17, 2006, 11:16:28 AM
No, he's got them on the outside, the sheepherders been shootin' at him with the green buckshot again. ::)
It's on my leggins, but darn near got me where I sit...It's them bad eyes of his.....Some one pulled the Wool over 'em
Sides that, my black pepper he used in the shells don't get much veeeelocity. ;D ;D Oh, be carful, I blew the iron grill out the winder when I tried grillin' steaks, someone filled my pepper shaker with FFFg. ::)
;D
Dell, You've been gettin yer water downstream from the Sheep herd again. Can cause You to Halucinate. :o
The #4 shot will backscatter from 20 yrds to the my forarm with My 10ga. it will kill a Goose at 90Yrds. ;D ;D
Personaly, don't use 'Sheep pellets', use extra course Rock Salt, heh, Heh, HEH! ;D
If Ya catch any of that Y'll remember. :o ;D ;D
Delmonico looks at the sheepherder and sees his mouth movin' but nuthin' really comin' out. He goes back to his cookin' and decides that some of that hogwash should be used by Stoney to clean his swine. He wonders where he got the short yardstick. ::)
The Marshall might finally be on to sumthin....................Salt n pepprn' his game when he shoots em'....Must be all them cold nights in Utah that does that to a Sheepherder...litl' rooster saddles his horse and rides off to Dunning. Makes a trip to the registar's office, check offical Brand book, thinks sheep is livestock too, and must be branded. Ifn' you all need anything let me know I'll bring it back with me.
Trinity wakes up in the "Travelin' Ladies'" waggon and tries hard to remember how he got there. Suddenly he smiles and is at ease.
"Weren't no one to tha house, so Ah wen' a-searchin'. Ah wonder if anybody is back yet..."
Trinity looks over at Mrs. Collingwood. "Ah'll check on them folks later. Since Ah'm here..."
On his way back to the Ranch With No Name, litl' rooster rides by Mrs. Collingwood's Wagon. See's Trinity's horse tyed nearby, and chuckles to himself. Thinking he should stop and make sure Trinity is not dead, but doesn't have time.
After reading the Livestock book in Dunning, he found that All livestock must be Branded. He returns with new Iron tyed to saddle...Lazy h brand. He will then as duley sworn Newbrassky Brand Inspector give Marshall harpoluke 24 hours to brand da Sheep, or risk losing it to the State....he he he
Trinity awakens, again with a smile on his face. Feebly, he rises and gets dressed, making sure this time that he has both boots. Outside, he stares for a long moment at his trusty ride and finally decides that he is in no condition to ride a horse. He takes Jolly Jumper's reins and begins their walk back to the ranch with Trinity taking each step very tenderly.
but you got to step kinda careful with all them toes
"Gee! Who's feets is them? Scattered Toes??"
I don't know who's they is, but I bet it takes more than a triple E width
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on February 20, 2006, 07:37:28 PM
I don't know who's they is, but I bet it takes more than a triple E width
"Wail, they ain' purty!"
Trinity arrives at the ranch and takes a look at the new fellow with the extra toes and shivvers "Ugh!"
Inside the house, he finds a cherry pie sitting on top of the counter cooling. He takes the pie to the table with a container of cream from the ice box. In two minutes all that is left are three crumbs, a pie pan and head tilted back, Trinity is pouring the remainder of the cream into his mouth. Still hungry, he finds three steaks in the ice box and eats them raw and cold leaving only a small bit of fat behind.
Hearing Trinity in the kitchen, Claire runs in and greets him. Trinity feeds her the fat which she accepts as if the FFG hadn't fed her in a decade. Together the two climb into Trinity's inside hammock in the living room and promptly fall asleep.
Quote from: Trinity on February 20, 2006, 07:09:39 PM
He takes Jolly Jumper's reins and begins their walk back to the ranch with Trinity taking each step very tenderly.
<Arthur's Note I thought yer names was Trinity, not Lucky Luke. ??? Or....Didja stole that horse? ::) ;D>
Quote from: Trinity on February 20, 2006, 07:29:53 PM
"Gee! Who's feets is them? Scattered Toes??"
I didn't know ya was aquainted with cousin Toes.
;D
Sheep, unlike Cattle knows Who's owns them, don't need no stinkin brand.
If' in Ya want a Brand, got one fer Ya Quarter circle J, My Grandfathers Brand-- or CT the Horshoe Ranch Brand (aka 5Dogs Ranch).
Now if 'in Yer trying to russle Ma Sheep, will have to arange a fair trial N a necktie party. :o
Sounds like tha sheepherder iz tryin ta lynch a State Official! :o
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on February 21, 2006, 08:35:42 AM
Sounds like tha sheepherder iz tryin ta lynch a State Official! :o
Sounds like it to me too....may have to swear out a Posse
As Slim nears the Ranch With No Name, he spies something next to the barn flappin' in the breeze.
it must be the chickens fighting
Delmonico gets a Newbrassky law book and does some lookin' "Hey did ya know sheep stealin' ain't a crime here, it's considered a public sevice if ya ship em out of state." ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on February 21, 2006, 06:19:49 PM
Delmonico gets a Newbrassky law book and does some lookin' "Hey did ya know sheep stealin' ain't a crime here, it's considered a public sevice if ya ship em out of state." ;D
"Or feed them ta Trinity!" ;D ::)
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on February 21, 2006, 02:50:49 AM
<Arthur's Note I thought yer names was Trinity, not Lucky Luke. ??? Or....Didja stole that horse? ::) ;D>
<<Arthur's response: I'm mixin' my Terence Hill characters... ;D ;D>>
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on February 21, 2006, 02:50:49 AM
I didn't know ya was aquainted with cousin Toes.
"Yeah, he done bought a jug or three from me in tha past.(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/cowboy-grin.gif)"
Quote from: Delmonico on February 21, 2006, 06:19:49 PM
Delmonico gets a Newbrassky law book and does some lookin' "Hey did ya know sheep stealin' ain't a crime here, it's considered a public sevice if ya ship em out of state." ;D
This ain't about stealin' dem Woolies. It's about who to blame fer ownin' them....Then of course threating a duley sworn officer of the State.
Slim, that's a warning flag to slow you and yer Horse down so you don't ride into the Door again... ;D
litl' rooster rides back to Town to swear out a warrant and mustar a Posse
Quote from: litl rooster on February 22, 2006, 03:58:14 AM
Slim, that's a warning flag to slow you and yer Horse down so you don't ride into the Door again... ;D
"Oh!" Slim jumps offa his horse and disappears into a snow drift. :o :o :o :o :o :o :o
Quote from: Trinity on February 21, 2006, 07:43:04 PM
<<Arthur's response: I'm mixin' my Terence Hill characters... ;D ;D>>
That explains it. ;D ;D
Quote from: Trinity on February 21, 2006, 07:43:04 PM"Yeah, he done bought a jug or three from me in tha past.(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/cowboy-grin.gif)"
Yep! Sounds like it might be cousin Toes. ;D
Irish wonders why litl rooster wants to put mustard on a Posse, thinks he might be spendin time with Trinity's jug. Irish grabs a shovel and starts to dig out Slim.
litl rooster may have to hire this guy from Arkansas
http://www.katv.com/news/stories/0206/305119.html
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on February 22, 2006, 06:13:14 PM
Irish wonders why litl rooster wants to put mustard on a Posse, thinks he might be spendin time with Trinity's jug. Irish grabs a shovel and starts to dig out Slim.
"Nope! Mah recipe won' make a body wanna do somethin' silly like that. Now, some of that stuff them injuns smoke, wail, that might do it!.(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/cowboy-laugh.gif)(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/cowboy-laugh.gif)
"Careful with that there shovel. Ya don' wanna be scalpin' Slim."
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on February 22, 2006, 10:38:46 AM
Yep! Sounds like it might be cousin Toes. ;D
"When you see him, tail him that Ah wan' mah money. Ah was tryin' ta help a body out an' decided ta accept co-lateral instead of money fer them two jugs, but his dee-posit of two toes is startin' ta stank.(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/cowboy-shocked.gif)"
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on February 22, 2006, 06:27:22 PM
litl rooster may have to hire this guy from Arkansas
http://www.katv.com/news/stories/0206/305119.html
Sobering up from Trinity' Jug...litl rooster finds his way to Tely graf office sends tely graf to Little Rock...since stealin sheep is ok in Newbrassky....Put's Mustard on a Biscuit and climbs back on his horse.
Will Irish dig Slim out in time for the weekend? ???
Is Trinity putting what the Indians smoke into his brew? ???
Will the Blue Plates return to bother Del? ???
Will Stoney reappear? ???
Will litl rooster return from Dunning with a Posse or the Sheep Stealer? ???
Will the FFG appear and whack everybody? ???
Will Harpoluke and the Sheep blow themselves up? ???
For the answers to these and other questions stay tuned, same Newbrasskey time, same Newbrasskey channel! ;D
Slim commences ta shiverin' in the snowdrift. :(
By the time Irish reaches Slim there's a block of ice around him, so Irish takes him into the kitchen and stands him next to the stove, then he make s a pot of coffee.
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on February 23, 2006, 03:31:30 PM
By the time Irish reaches Slim there's a block of ice around him, so Irish takes him into the kitchen and stands him next to the stove, then he make s a pot of coffee.
Don't forget to give hi, a mop you know how Del gets, about water in the floor
Delmonico gets out a wash tub for them to put him in till he thaws. ;D
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on February 23, 2006, 04:58:45 AM
For the answers to these and other questions stay tuned, same Newbrasskey time, same Newbrasskey channel! ;D
I am all agog with anticipation. Life can get kinda slow out here on the plains in my shabby soddy! :)
Slim begins to wiggle his little finger!
Delmonico writes Wissy-consion or bust on the buckboard, throws the half frozen Slim in it and slaps the horse on the hindquarter.
litl rooster see the half frozen Slim in his buggy go by. Yells out, Slim you might bring some xtry cheese back with you. That fella from Arkansas will be here to git rid of the Sheep when you return.
"Wait, Ah'll git rid of them sheep! Whar's mah fork-n-knife?"
Delmonico looks at Trinity and says, "Remember the last time ya ate a sheep, ya sweated grease fer a week." :P
"Yeah, an' it were tasty too. It made a good smear fer mah braid. ...But ah ain' gonna eat mah drankin' buddy, Sheep. Whar is he?"
Trinity opens a jug and at the sound of the cork, Sheep runs in.
"It be a good thing that Slim branded yer sheep with his runnin' S brand, that way ya won't get hunged like the Sheepman." ::)
;D
Uknown to Del, Da Sheep put some special coal in the fire box of the Steam tractor/ N Amonia in Boiler of the tractor. :o
The 'coal' was cannon powder burns extra hot, the Amonia corrods N freezes the safty valve the tractor goes Kablooy! ::)
Shure ran fast fer a spell. :o ;D ;D
Sheep slips away safley.
Since the weather has been sub-zero for days and it it almost impossible to fire a cold steam engine in those conditions, blowin' up the steam tractor is another dream the sheep man has after countin' to many sheep again. ;D
authors note>>>>>me thinks the Sheep herder has been in the Loco weed agin.......
Delmonico looks in the medice cabinet and hollors, "The Sheepman's been in and stole all the consumpion medice again." ;D
http://www.cascity.com/forumhall/index.php/topic,8092.0.html
Maybe it is time for a Nebraska Wolf Hunt....but this time we will "catch and release" the wolves on the sheepherder's spread.
Quote from: Sod Buster on February 25, 2006, 06:49:48 PM
Maybe it is time for a Nebraska Wolf Hunt....but this time we will "catch and release" the wolves on the sheepherder's spread.
litl rooster grabs a jug and decided to visit the Soddy, this is plan he would like to see work ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Sod Buster on February 25, 2006, 06:49:48 PM
Maybe it is time for a Nebraska Wolf Hunt....but this time we will "catch and release" the wolves on the sheepherder's spread.
:o
So Ya wanna be startin a Range War Eh?
OK, here it is, I'll Da settlers and the Barbwire, it don't bother the Sheep.
The Basque will bring the Sheep by the ten-thosands and will eat everything in sight, them soil-eroders shure know how to mow da Lawn. ;D
The Goats, N Donkeys will take care of the Wolves.
The Sharps will take care of the two-legged ones., heh Heh, HEH!
Think Del's been smoking the 'Wildwood' weed, again or nippin on that snake oil. :D :P
Lil Rooster n Trinity have been walkin round sideways reciently, :o
Holy Black lites very well in cold weather as long its dry, Del., heh, Heh, HEH. ::)
8)
Quote from: Marshal harpoluke on February 25, 2006, 08:20:38 PM
OK, here it is, I'll Da settlers and the Barbwire, it don't bother the Sheep.
I don't got no barbed wire. I have an arrangement with Litl Rooster and the folks over at the Ranch with No Name to free range their cattle on my land.
Maybe I will teach those cattle to stampede any sheep they can find. ;D ;D
Until then I will personally blast any that come on my land and eat the grass and drink the water. Dem critters got diseases!
Quote from: Sod Buster on February 25, 2006, 10:21:44 PM
I don't got no barbed wire. I have an arrangement with Litl Rooster and the folks over at the Ranch with No Name to free range their cattle on my land.
Maybe I will teach those cattle to stampede any sheep they can find. ;D ;D
Until then I will personally blast any that come on my land and eat the grass and drink the water. Dem critters got diseases!
Don't forgit to render the Tallow on dem Mutton's it's bullit lube
and the wool we trade to the Navjo fer Saddle Blankets...........Of course we cain't do that till dem Woolies is well you know ::)
Sod Buster sees some sheep grazin' nearby. There is an odd lookng fella standing next to them........
Delmonico looks at the new sheepherder and says, "That's illogical." ;D
<Authors note: Nebraska's herd law will allow us to sue for damages from the sheep.> ;D
why are his hands behind his back?
Quote from: Delmonico on February 26, 2006, 12:38:50 PM
Delmonico looks at the new sheepherder and says, "That's illogical." ;D
<Authors note: Nebraska's herd law will allow us to sue for damages from the sheep.> ;D
Dell, Only the nest of KIn. :o
This is kinda like insulting a Red-haired woman--No Survivers. :o
Quote from: litl rooster on February 26, 2006, 12:47:40 PM
why are his hands behind his back?
So they won't get in the way?? :o :o :o :o
Delmonico laughs cause he's a survivor of several red-haired winnin, fact he's was married to on fer 14 years.
Quote from: Sod Buster on February 26, 2006, 01:21:46 PM
So they won't get in the way?? :o :o :o :o
;D ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on February 26, 2006, 02:32:21 PM
Delmonico laughs cause he's a survivor of several red-haired winnin, fact he's was married to on fer 14 years.
You mean their hair color makes dem mor dangerous??? 10 years my red headed wife
Delmonico whispers to Trinity and Trinity rides off on Delmonico's muse. Soon a whole wagon load of angry red-haired wimmin desend on the sheep herders camp. :o :o :o ::)
>authors Note<<< Me and the horse is building a bigger fire on the hill and got a pot of coffee on the boil, Del you and Sod Buster should come join me this will be a good show when dem wagon wimmen show up. ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on February 26, 2006, 02:32:21 PM
Delmonico laughs cause he's a survivor of several red-haired winnin, fact he's was married to on fer 14 years.
;D ;D ;D
One look at You Delmonico--I rest my case. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Don't be Insulting my Red and Blonde haired Mother and Grandmother. :o
This could get interesting. ;D
Delmonico comes to the hill and gets a cup, "We gots him now, he's bablin' in-coe-hear-ant-lee now." ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on February 26, 2006, 03:21:19 PM
Delmonico whispers to Trinity and Trinity rides off on Delmonico's muse.
Trinity rode off on Del's muse? ???
Del, you shouldn't loan your muse out like that. Trinity might ruin her! Muses are hard to come by and sometimes they are expensive to keep. ;D ;D
A mule I could see letting Trinity near.....but not a muse.....definately not! He might corrupt her with those corn squeezins!
Quote from: Delmonico on February 26, 2006, 04:11:05 PM
Delmonico comes to the hill and gets a cup, "We gots him now, he's bablin' in-coe-hear-ant-lee now." ;D
Sod Buster also climbs the hill and grabs a cup. "This should be interesting". I dated a red-headed woman once. I had to hold on tight 'cuz it was a wild ride.
;D ;D ;D
Cat fight! :D
;D ;D ;D ;D
The wagon load of red haired ladies take one look at the sheep herder, cover their noses with perfumed hankies and head back to town. ;D
Drats foiled again!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hurring back to the 'Ranch With No Name". I go to the barn and gather some of the rope, from the sunken Japaneese fishing Trawler. To cord off the snow drifts and dangerous areas, in preparation of Slims return. Brightly colored material hung from the ropes and straw placed around the Dooryard and hitchin' post. Other preparations must be made for the arrival of the Sheep hunter from Arkansas who will arrive tomorrow.
coming out of the Kansas City, tellygraph office after wiring lilt rooster he is still on time, the Arkansas Traveller starts on his way to the ranch with no name. looking forward to seeing some of the newbrassky sheep.
While passing through Kansas City, the Arkansas Traveller had spied one of them steam machines, he bought it and hired a fellar to follow him to the ranch with no name, he figured he could stack them sheep in his wagon better ifin they was flat. of course he won't need it anymore after that, maybe he could leave it for them fellars at the ranch.
Quote from: Trinity on February 22, 2006, 07:19:44 PM
""When you see him, tail him that Ah wan' mah money. Ah was tryin' ta help a body out an' decided ta accept co-lateral instead of money fer them two jugs, but his dee-posit of two toes is startin' ta stank.(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/cowboy-shocked.gif)"
Cousin sez ya may keep the co-lateral. Cause he ain't got no funds. ::) ;D
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on February 26, 2006, 07:22:05 PM
... maybe he could leave it for them fellars at the ranch.
<authors note>Leaving a self propelled destructive device around where Del can get his hands on it. :o What's next, having Trinity running with scissors? :D ;D ;)<close note>
Stoney comes out on the porch to see another of them contraptions in the yard. the machine is reminiscent of on called Manhiem (sp).
Irish Tom comes out on the porch and hands a cup of coffee to Stoney, as they both sip their coffe, Irish remarks to Stoney, "I see we got another of them goldanged contraptions in the yard,I hope Slim or Trinity don't touch it before Del gets back!"
I hope trinity does. It's be fun seein' him try an put it back together afore Del see whut he'd done to it. ;D
After the Arkansas Traveler unhitches the team of Horses and Mules from the wagons. I go and explain the problems of da Sheep after explainin' the bounty on them I hand him a picture of dem and swear him in as a deputy Brand Inspector. Tell him ifn' they don't wear a brand they are legal game. The bounty is 25 cents a head and what ever you can get for the remains ;D With a stern warning the Marshal harpoluke ain't playin' with a full deck, and the one he calls da Sheep plays with dynamite and carries A 10 ga. By the way you may have yer friend hide that contrapition from some of these fellas....well they got bad History around such things. ::) ::)
Delmonico finds the machine and starts to fire it up with coal. (It's in the 70's so it's easy." F.S.I.S.B.E.E. any one? ;D
As the sun starts to set in the west, the Arkansas Traveller walks up on the nearest rise to see ifin he can spot any sheep.
Coming back right after dark the Arkansas Traveller questions the boys at the ranch about the people he saw standing amongest the sheep and talking about an ambush.
Inside the house Trinity sits in the cupola with Sheep (Not "Da Sheep"!), Daisy, Claire, their "husband" and puppies, Frankenbird and two skinks. A jug is being silently passed around. Well... only Trinity, Sheep and Frankenbird are drinking, but the others politely take the jug and pass it to the next.
While the steam roller is warmin' up, Delmonico comes up to the Cupalo, has a drink and leaves with tears in his eyes. :'(
:(
Da Sheep, hears from his Cousin Sheep bout da ambush and prepairs a surpurize of his own.
Meanwile, Marshal hears som bad news from Da telegraph, calls Da Sheep home to Arizona teritory.
This is Black Hat day. The 'Skillet "Ley Ping" is silent'.
Been too much loss fer one week.
Ask what happen to the Ipicake syrup?, DA Sheep said, He thought it got into the Jug at Dell's. :o
"Thats enough Sheep", "Leave em be".
Sheep has tear in eye.
Lets head for Home.
Quote from: Trinity on February 28, 2006, 07:12:16 PM
Inside the house Trinity sits in the cupola with Sheep (Not "Da Sheep"!), Daisy, Claire, their "husband" and puppies, Frankenbird and two skinks. A jug is being silently passed around. Well... only Trinity, Sheep and Frankenbird are drinking, but the others politely take the jug and pass it to the next.
me thinks Duke might be from Pinesdale, Mt.?
Seeing Del return from the cupola with a wet face and sour mash on his breath, Stoney know where to find Trinity. Upon his arrival he joins the crowd for drink in silent reverence. He turns to leave, but has a hard time seeing. The room got real blurry.(http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a153/stoneypete/emoticons/cowboy-cry.gif)
Slim, wearing the flannel Christmas shirt, walks onto the porch and sits in "the" rocking chair. He watches the sunrise with tears streaming down his face. :'( :'( :'( :'(
There's a wet spot on the floor under the place where there use to be a strange painting.
litl' rooster looks in the canvas bag next to the Rocker, and pulls out a ball of brightly colored yarn and 2 needles. Sitting on the floor he tries to knit.
Slim wipes his face. "Ya better be careful so ya don't hang or skewer yerself." Slim gets up from the rocker. He heads toward the barn to gather eggs and milch to cow. He can hear the rocking of the rocking chair behind him as he walks. I tear runs down his cheek. :'(
<Arthur's note: The last scene of
The Sons of Katie Elder.
<Author's Note: I know there are a lot who read this thread as guests, we lost Annie Lee our Frumpy Fairy Godmother on Monday.>
Quote from: Delmonico on March 01, 2006, 06:13:18 PM
<Author's Note: I know there are a lot who read this thread as guests, we lost Annie Lee our Frumpy Fairy Godmother on Monday.>
...and we aren't in a mood to be funny again...yet.
Quote from: Trinity on March 01, 2006, 06:40:49 PM
...and we aren't in a mood to be funny again...yet.
Nope. :'(
>:(
This might take some time, FFG was one of a kind.
Snifle, Grump.
Newbrassky might need to come to a close. It will never be the same without FFG. Who's gonna look out for Trinity? ;) She was the referee so to speak. She kept things in perspective. She wasn't really frumpy, but she definitely was the Fairy Godmother. I'm sure she'll continue to watch over us all. This is too much. I've lost family members and I wasn't this torn up about it.
Irish thinks about joining Stoney and Trinity in the cupola, but something keeps getting in his eyes and he can't see clearly enough to find it! :'(
Quote from: Trinity on March 01, 2006, 06:40:49 PM
...and we aren't in a mood to be funny again...yet.
And yet I can see her giving us all a "THWACK" with her skillet and telling us to knock it off. ::) (http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a153/stoneypete/emoticons/cowboy-cry.gif)
Quote from: stoneypete on March 02, 2006, 07:53:51 AM
And yet I can see her giving us all a "THWACK" with her skillet and telling us to knock it off. ::) (http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a153/stoneypete/emoticons/cowboy-cry.gif)
<You are probably right.>
Slim reaches the barn and starts gathering eggs. Tears stream down his face as he remembers the FFg gathered the eggs when he was away from the Ranch With No Name. He sits on a hay bale 'cuz he can no longer see anything but water. :'(
<Authors Note: Annie told me we must continue this thread, she said she'd come back and whack us all for real if we didn't, I think she knew we'd think about it.> :'(
Several Hours later litl' rooster finds himself entangled. In what seems to be 10 miles of very strong yarn. Ouch................ and has just impaled himself with the big needle....Hey where did every one go? I need some help here.....................Hello is anyone here?
Delmonico comes in, stares, shakes his head and leaves litl rooster to his knittin'. ::)
Quote from: litl rooster on March 02, 2006, 07:42:13 PM
Several Hours later litl' rooster finds himself entangled. In what seems to be 10 miles of very strong yarn. Ouch................ and has just impaled himself with the big needle....Hey where did every one go? I need some help here.....................Hello is anyone here?
;D
Dat Yarn is made of steel, four plex barb--pretty good for Catle,hourses and aparently erront buswacking Roosters. :o ;D :D ;D
Leaves real sheep's wool yarn for Trinity, an ten Red Roses for FFG. :'(
Quote from: Marshal harpoluke on March 02, 2006, 08:23:38 PM
;D
Dat Yarn is made of steel, four plex barb--pretty good for Catle,hourses and aparently erront buswacking Roosters. :o ;D :D ;D
Leaves real sheep's wool yarn for Trinity, an ten Red Roses for FFG. :'(
;D
The Utah sheepherder will find out about Bushwackers......................if'n I could just get my hands on my Boot Pistol >:( >:(
Irish walks in and finds litl rooster entangled and impaled, knowing that the right thing to do is to help him out, cause that's what the ffg taught him, he pulls out his ACME Detangler/DeImpaler gun and fires it at litl rooster.
The roar of the "ACME Detangler/DeImpaler gun" awakens Stoney in the cupola. His heart is heavy, but the tears are gone...for now.
Climbing down to the kitchen he puts on coffee, bacon, eggs and buscuits. When done he finds LR sitting on the porch with wire all around his feet and bent knitting needles in his hands.
Smiling for the first time in days, Stoney hands Tom a cup of java and sets in his rocker and proceeds to eat watching the sun rise. "Your a good man Tom." I would left him there for the mornings entertainment." ;)
"Theres more coffee and food should any of you all feel like eating."
Quote from: Delmonico on March 02, 2006, 06:07:09 PM
<Authors Note: Annie told me we must continue this thread, she said she'd come back and whack us all for real if we didn't, I think she knew we'd think about it.> :'(
On that note, carry on! ;)
Slim awakes from his bed of hay. He looks over at Bessie, who's udder is leaking. "Sorry, Bessie." He grabs a pail and milches Bessie. He, then, gathers the remaining eggs and heads fer the house. "Morning Stoney, Litl Rooster! Nice sunrise." :)
Still mumbling to his own self..............litl' rooster manages to , Thanks Tom, pours himself a cup of coffee, any one want a refill? Strapping his shoulder rig on, Fellas any ya seen where the Arkansas Travler headed too.... We got some huntin' to do!!!
Outside the litl' rooster finds his horse and feeds and curries him off. Slim's right it's a nice sunrise, ceptin' fer all these darn green pellets on the ground, it would be perfect.
Tom decides Stoney is right, even if your heart is heavy ya gotta eat. He gets a plate of food after LR refills his coffee mug and sits down on the porch watching LR ready his horse.
Quote from: litl rooster on March 03, 2006, 11:26:10 AM
Still mu
mbling to his own self..............litl' rooster manages to , Thanks Tom, pours himself a cup of coffee, any one want a refill? Strapping his shoulder rig on, Fellas any ya seen where the Arkansas Travler headed too.... We got some huntin' to do!!!
Outside the litl' rooster finds his horse and feeds and curries him off. Slim's right it's a nice sunrise, ceptin' fer all these darn green pellets on the ground, it would be perfect.
;D
Marshall Says "Yer gona try a ambush the Marshal Eh?/ looks like I'll have to run Ya in".
Marshall has plan of His own, LR fails to notice trip wire N falls into Sheep/Cattle dip trough. >:( :o :D
Leaves large crate at Delminicos.
(side note) I had a couple of hours today and as my wife says, this was my fiddling time so I fiddled, I got my welder and plasma cutting torch and cut all this out and kinda got my thoughts together,
now I've enjoyed it here in Newbrassky since joining last August, I imigine one of my favorite places.
the steam engine will remind us of Delmonico, the double barrelled big 10, of Slim, the jug of Trinity, if I knew what litl rooster's jinglebobs were I'd make some of them but I'm afriad to ask.
The skillet, represents the FFG, I thought I'd permantly attach it to the steam engine to remind us of her and remember we's all better act like somebody. and carry on.
It's a project that may take a little while to finish, but if you want I post more pictures when I get a little further along.
and any suggestions will be considered if I can build it.
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on March 03, 2006, 03:36:31 PM
(side note) I had a couple of hours today and as my wife says, this was my fiddling time so I fiddled, I got my welder and plasma cutting torch and cut all this out and kinda got my thoughts together,
now I've enjoyed it here in Newbrassky since joining last August, I imigine one of my favorite places.
the steam engine will remind us of Delmonico, the double barrelled big 10, of Slim, the jug of Trinity, if I knew what litl rooster's jinglebobs were I'd make some of them but I'm afriad to ask.
The skillet, represents the FFG, I thought I'd permantly attach it to the steam engine to remind us of her and remember we's all better act like somebody. and carry on.
It's a project that may take a little while to finish, but if you want I post more pictures when I get a little further along.
and any suggestions will be considered if I can build it
;D
Looks good, don't fergit Da Sheeps Dynamite. :o
Ozark am attaching photo of spurs with Jingle Bobs... It's what make that tingling sound when a cowboy walks and rides along...The line is from a Ian Tyson song.
The 2 small metal piece hanging below the Rowels
By the way your pretty handy with the Iron work
Marshall, that sounds like something I can make and represent the sheep, I thought those jinglebobs were the sounders on spurs, I'll have to figure out how to make some small ones for your piece of the steam tractor litl rooster
the picture below is what I started with. hope to be able to work on it a few hours this weekend.
Slim's durn dust is in my eyes. Ya could add a picure frame for the strange talkin' picture in the hallway. ::)
Quote from: Delmonico on March 03, 2006, 06:05:20 PM
Slim's durn dust is in my eyes. Ya could add a picure frame for the strange talkin' picture in the hallway. ::)
No sign of the dust leavin soon Pard.............. :(
Trinity walks downstairs followed by a whole zoo's worth of animals. He looks at Ozarks Object d'arte and says "Looks good, but...say, han' down that there jug afore ya git finished. Ya don' wanna touch that thang with fahr... :o Trust me!"
Quote from: Ornery Orr on March 02, 2006, 07:36:05 AM
Newbrassky might need to come to a close. It will never be the same without FFG. Who's gonna look out for Trinity? ;) She was the referee so to speak. She kept things in perspective. She wasn't really frumpy, but she definitely was the Fairy Godmother. I'm sure she'll continue to watch over us all. This is too much. I've lost family members and I wasn't this torn up about it.
<<Trinity was kinda thinking the same thing. Now it appears that Del has unfettered access! :o :o :o
...however, Newbrassky need not come to a close. That would be a show of disrespect to the memory of our beloved FFG. >>
Quote from: Trinity on March 03, 2006, 09:43:30 PM
<<Trinity was kinda thinking the same thing. Now it appears that Del has unfettered access! :o :o :o
...however, Newbrassky need not come to a close. That would be a show of disrespect to the memory of our beloved FFG. >>
We might let you bob in the water awhile, but we wouldn't let ya sink ;D
Quote from: litl rooster on March 04, 2006, 04:04:03 AM
We might let you bob in the water awhile, but we wouldn't let ya sink ;D
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/cowboy-angry.jpg)
Trinity comes downstairs and steps outside onto the porch. Upon seeing litl rooster he begins to laugh like he hasn't for a long time. Wiping the tears of laugter and the crust from previous tears from his eyes he commences to untangle litl rooster.
Soon, litl rootser, Irish Tom and Trinity are hopelessly entangled. Delmonico drinks the rest of the coffee and starts dinner. ::)
Trinity get the knife out of the back of my belt......................Del is cooking again!
the Ozark Tracker rumbles into the yard having driven from Arkansas on the overhauled Newbrassky Steam Driven Machine, everyone gathers around and looks it over, leaving behind Trintys jug, Slims mighty 10, litl rooster's spurs and three sticks of da sheep's dynamite with the fuse still attached. and the respected kabong.
What color you thnk that thing ottobe? Ozark asks the fellars give me some ideas what else it needs?
Sod Buster somehow gets possession of the FFG's cast iron collection. He plans to get the skillet called "Elle Kabong" back to the coosie Delmonico at the ranch.
Ozark, I think it looks good that way unless you have a Bluing Tank
Sod Buster, you going to learn to use them?
Ozark it needs ta be GREEN or at least have a shamrock on the front fer luck! ;D
;D
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on March 04, 2006, 06:17:04 PM
Ozark it needs ta be GREEN or at least have a shamrock on the front fer luck! ;D
Need Slim's laughing Icon again...got to stop now that Knitten needle wound hurts when I laugh ;D ;D ;D
I thought about putting the torch to it and see if it would looks kinda case hardened but I don't know if it would but I do like the kind of rusty look. It probally would look just that way if was in use around the ranch with no name
Had a time making them spurs, don't know how I could get on jinglebobs.
(back to the story);
Del comes out in the yard and tells Trinty to build a fire in the steamer, he might want to take it for a test run.
Quote from: litl rooster on March 04, 2006, 06:12:16 PM
Sod Buster, you going to learn to use them?
They won't be happy unless they are fulfilling the purpose that they were cast for. They need to be used. This will make the cast iron happy. :)
<Sod Buster believes that all things need to fulfill their purpose in life - even if their life is an inanimate object>
Brushing the frost off the Bay horse, litl' rooster saddles up and heads off in the early dawn. Hopefully by time he reaches the "soddy" the Biscuits will be ready ;D
Quote from: litl rooster on March 05, 2006, 03:55:57 AM
Brushing the frost off the Bay horse, litl' rooster saddles up and heads off in the early dawn. Hopefully by time he reaches the "soddy" the Biscuits will be ready ;D
Sod Buster grabbs some of the FFG's cast iron and prepares breakfast: Two eggs, a buttermilk biscuit smothered in sausage gravy and a ham steak.
He also gets a few extra "minerals" in his food since the sod ceiling is constanly falling into the griddle. There is extra if anyone stops by...as long as they don't mind "dirty eggs". :)
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on March 04, 2006, 04:23:42 PM
the Ozark Tracker rumbles into the yard having driven from Arkansas on the overhauled Newbrassky Steam Driven Machine, everyone gathers around and looks it over, leaving behind Trintys jug, Slims mighty 10, litl rooster's spurs and three sticks of da sheep's dynamite with the fuse still attached. and the respected kabong.
What color you thnk that thing ottobe? Ozark asks the fellars give me some ideas what else it needs?
<<The traction engine ought to be purple like Del's kerchief. ;D ;D ;D>>
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on March 04, 2006, 06:31:42 PM
I thought about putting the torch to it and see if it would looks kinda case hardened but I don't know if it would but I do like the kind of rusty look. It probally would look just that way if was in use around the ranch with no name
(back to the story);
Del comes out in the yard and tells Trinty to build a fire in the steamer, he might want to take it for a test run.
<<I just don't think it would be rusty, knowing Del... well, now that I think of that old car of his with the missing bumper, maybe you're right. ....OK Del, not missing, just unattached. ;D ;D ;D>>
Del's bellow about building a fire awakens Trinity who is alseep on the porch surrounded by little pieces of yarn. Realizing that he must have fallen asleep during the efforts to free litl rooster, Irish and himself from the knitting supplies he gets up and stretches. Just then he sees little rooster riding off in the direction of the Soddy. Knowing that either there is going to be some eating and/or drinking going on, Trinity runs off after him.
<Note, the rusty Olds is now in Gopher Grease's possion, he has decided to tune it up and drive it for a while rather than sacrifice it to the Demo Derby Gods. ::)>
Delmonico builds a wood fire in the steam roller, switching to coal when it gets going. As it's warmin' he starts some pinto beans boiling. We're havin' burrito's fer supper, now that Delmonico has a new tortilla press. ::) ;)
The Ozark Tracker gets a ride with Del on the steamer, while in town, Ozark thinks of a good item to add to the tractor, since Del likes to cook so much he buys a cast iron wood fired stove complete with oven and adds it to the back of the steamer, after adding a stove pipe, now Del can cook and bake on the move.
(Off topic)
Thanks to a tip from Lucky Irish Tom, litl rooster I got the jingle bobs on the spurs, guess we'll have to add the shamrock for luck to the machine.
back on topic
the boys picked up a new (new to him) bufalo rifle for Del , now he can drive shoot skin cook and have everything ready when he gets there.
<<Looking mighty fine!>>
Eating over at the soddy, Trinity finds stranges peaces of greenery in his food to which he shrug of and eats with the rest of the feast.
Quote from: Trinity on March 05, 2006, 04:44:27 PM
<<Looking mighty fine!>>
Eating over at the soddy, Trinity finds stranges peaces of greenery in his food to which he shrug of and eats with the rest of the feast.
After a fine feast at the the Soddy, Sod Buster and self tye Trinity to his saddle..Thanks Sod Buster had a good time remininnicennnnnnn Pards in the Piedmont country, litl' rooster legs up and grabs a rein of Trinity's horse. Up the trail along the Dismall I hear the sound of a pair of Jingle bobs,<authors note> I lost one last week an only wear one rowel and jingles now... However this sound is not coming from a horse. Not sure I had ever seen such a site. A steam contraption with 2 stacks bellarn' smoke. Attemps to awake Trinity are a failure and i don't want folks thinkin' I have lost my mine. From chasing the sheephearder. So I reach over take the jug and get a pull....Can always blame the squezzins ;D ;D
Upon hearing the "Thock" sound of the cork, Trinity perks up and says: "Yesh pleash"
Quote from: Trinity on March 05, 2006, 06:04:20 PM
Upon hearing the "Thock" sound of the cork, Trinity perks up and says: "Yesh pleash"
I'll take a swig outta jug too.
<<I like the machine and all the little memorabilia. Good job.>>
Upon hearing the cork pop out of a jug, and through the magic of animation <-Author's Note: We are toons after all -> Irish suddenly appears next to litl rooster's horse. "Faith and Begorrah Brother Rooster it's wee bit parched I am, might a body have a wee draught of that lifesaving elixer you hold"?
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on March 05, 2006, 08:11:32 PM
Upon hearing the cork pop out of a jug, and through the magic of animation <-Author's Note: We are toons after all -> Irish suddenly appears next to litl rooster's horse. "Faith and Begorrah Brother Rooster it's wee bit parched I am, might a body have a wee draught of that lifesaving elixer you hold"?
Passes the Jug around to Stoney then to Lucky Irish Tom, fella's luck at that contrapition............
Authors note ;D ;D** it's March and the Begorrahs are showing up again **** ;D ;D ;D
"Tom, you sound funny. Better let me drink outta the jug first. I don' want to be ketchin' what ever it is you got."
<<can't we at least get past the ides of march before we should worry about the Begorrahs>>
Slim rides from the northeast and sees a new traction engine bullowing smoke. "Del must have a new toy."
<Arthur's note: Great steam engine and accoutrements, Ozark Tracker!> ;D
Quote from: litl rooster on March 05, 2006, 05:52:06 PM
...Up the trail along the Dismall I hear the sound of a pair of Jingle bobs,<authors note> I lost one last week an only wear one rowel and jingles now...
<Arthur's note: I lost a set of jingle bobs at the GAF Muster. I got a replacement set from the Fort at the NCOWS Convention.> ;D
Delmonico starts rollin' out tortillas with the stream roller. ::)
Quote from: Delmonico on March 06, 2006, 03:35:21 PM
Delmonico starts rollin' out tortillas with the stream roller. ::)
Does this mean the frijollies is done cookin'?
Delmonico gets out his large soapstone griddle and starts cookin' tortillas. He fills each 15" tortilla with refrijoles, sour cream and grated cheese and a dap of his famous pepper sauce. :o :o :o :o
The one fer Slim he douses it on cause he knows Slim is a big fan of it. ;)
Slim rides over ta see what all the commotion is about. As he gets closer, he sees a cookstove attached ta the back of the traction engine and Del is cookin' on it. "Wheredidja get the new traction engine, Del? Whatcha cookin'?"
Burrito's, I hope you brought plenty of cheese. Made you one with lots of yer favorite pepper sauce, but don't slop any, you remember the hole it made in the ground down in Kanas.
"Burrito's? What are those? I'z from da nort ya know." ;D "I gotts my war bags full o' cheese."
Delmonico gives Slim a 1000 yard stare and then after about 5 minutes hands him a burrito, the one made special fer him. ::)
Quote from: Delmonico on March 06, 2006, 04:53:00 PM
Delmonico gives Slim a 1000 yard stare and then after about 5 minutes hands him a burrito, the one made special fer him. ::)
Burrito= male donkey aka jackass?
Burrita=female donkey ;D ;D ;D ;D
Slim eats his burrito and runs out the door heading for the Dismal river with fire coming out both ends. ::)
(He was a wimp in Kansas also. ;D)
as each of the men wait in line for their jumbo tortilla with donkey and beans and cheese. I begin to relize that Delmonico is a visionary...With the help of Ozark, Del now has the country's first roach coach ::)
As Slim dives into the Dismal River with a hiss of steam, Delmonico decides that litl rooster has a good idea and decides he needs a cookshack trailer fer the steam roller. ;D This might even be good fer rollin' pie crusts, would even work fer tederizin' tough cuts of meat. ;D
Ozark turns to boys at the ranch after supper and supposes out loud that Del can sure put on the feed. them was the thinnest torrtillas I ever had, he ought to make them up and fry them and bag em up, course they'd get chipped up when they was being hauled around.
<Authors Note: If anyone thinks we is makin' all this up, check this out. ;D>
http://terraserver.microsoft.com/image.aspx?T=2&S=15&Z=14&X=62&Y=723&W=3&qs=%7cdunning%7cNE%7c
Quote from: Delmonico on March 06, 2006, 06:03:32 PM
As Slim dives into the Dismal River with a hiss of steam, Delmonico decides that litl rooster has a good idea and decides he needs a cookshack trailer fer the steam roller...
"Ya know, Dail. Ya kin use that thar buildin' that ya was gonna turn inta a drive-in."
Quote from: Trinity on March 06, 2006, 08:26:49 PM
"Ya know, Dail. Ya kin use that thar buildin' that ya was gonna turn inta a drive-in."
Yep, mayb' Ozark could put wheels and a tongue on this
Quote from: Delmonico on March 06, 2006, 03:35:21 PM
Delmonico starts rollin' out tortillas with the stream roller. ::)
<<can we count on more FRISBEE's?>>
Quote from: Delmonico on March 06, 2006, 06:03:32 PM
As Slim dives into the Dismal River with a hiss of steam, Delmonico decides that litl rooster has a good idea and decides he needs a cookshack trailer fer the steam roller. ;D This might even be good fer rollin' pie crusts, would even work fer tederizin' tough cuts of meat. ;D
Witnessing this occurance Stoney turns to Del. "I'll have one of those WITHOUT the sauce please." :o
After the fire is gone, Slim climbs outta the Dismal and starts his search for his horse that ran away 'cuz all the screamin' Slim did on his way to the Dismal. ::)
Delmonico looks at the soakin' wet Slim, "Dern northern folks, can't take a little slightly warm sauce." :o ::)
Delmonico looks at Stoney, shakes his head and makes him one with out any of the special sauce. ::)
He then goes and shovels in some more coal and lays out a bunch of round steak, tonight they will have chicken fried steak, special sauce will be there for those who ain't wimps. ;D
Uh Slim I hate ta tell ya this but yer hoss wasn't skeered ah ya, Dell put sum a that sauce in hiz feedbag. He was movin so fast he run right outta yer saddle n gear! :o
"Thanks alot, Del. ::) ::) ::) Which way was it headed?"
Delmonico point's off toward the west, "He went dat away." ::)
Slim walks into the sunset. ;D
As everyone watches Slim head into the sunset, litl' rooster asked the man behind the stove fer some real HOT SAUCE this here isn't nearly hot enuff.
authors note>>>>Chicken Fried Steak always reminds me of a Farside cartoon, Will that be served with creamed gravy and biscuits?
Of course! Sourdough! ::) ::)
<Authors Note: Be sure to have litl rooster try pepper sauce if he goes on the trip for work. :o>
Trinity wakes up from the edge of the yard where he had passed out the night before. Smelling his favorite meal, Trinity runs... well lazily walks up to the Munchmobile. "Ah'll have three helpin's, please!"
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/slide0018_image013.jpg)
Delmonico looks at Trinity's plate, "Not on toast, no way!" :P :P :P
Del me lad that smells heavenly, might I trouble you for a platefull?
"Only with sourdough biscuits, none of that toasted Wonder Bread like Trinity!!!!!!!!!!!!!" >:(
"Ya got any idea of a proper punishment." ::)
Quote from: Delmonico on March 07, 2006, 06:42:52 PM
"Only with sourdough biscuits, none of that toasted Wonder Bread like Trinity!!!!!!!!!!!!!" >:(
"Ya got any idea of a proper punishment." ::)
Egads toast with a meal like that............................Triniy would you check the chock blocks on the New Stea Traction machine please.....pssst Del...extry hot sauce on his.....
litl rooster brings his blue speckled plate to the stove.
"Okay, Okay! How 'bout this'un?
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/F-food-photography-141.jpg)
"or fergit them braids an serve it up so:"
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/Chucks25.jpg)
While Trinity is checkin' the chocks, litl rooster rolls out his gut ling and heels Trinity. Delmonico graps a hunk of hemp and they tie Trinity's wrists and chain him to the back of the traction engine. :o :o
Delmonico shovels the firbox full of coal, tosses in a full jug of Trinity's best and opens the throttle. The lugged steel wheels spin for 30 full seconds before they grab and when they get 500 yards down the road, a loud boom is heard. :o :o
Everyone runs out of the house fearin' another blow up, but it is the steam traction engine makin' a sonic boom. ;D
<Authors Note: To late with the biscuits Trinity! ;D>
As they pass Slim, he is knocked over by the sonic boom and he is slightly scorched by a long blue flame. ;D
Unfortunately for Slim the long blue flame is coming from Trinity's nether region, and the resulting cloud stuns Slim. ;D
Trinity and Delmonico disappear to the west, about and hour later they come from the east up the road from Dunning. ;D As they reach the ranch the flames go out and the traction engine coasts to a stop. ::)
"Now don't be eatin' no more of that wasp nest bread Trinity, or next time it will be worst on ya." ;D
Trinity walks away, his fingers draggin' on the ground. ;D
Ozark Tracker who has been working in the barn/blacksmith shop has the forge glowing white hot, the anvil ringing and metal bending, having heard the sonic boom, he realizes that since Del likes to go fast he should reshape the munchmobile for supersonic speed, a little more heat and some more hammering and he should have it ready tomorrow,
he hears the traction engine chug to a stop and goes outside to see what's going on.
Quote from: Delmonico on March 07, 2006, 07:36:44 PM
Trinity walks away, his fingers draggin' on the ground. ;D
But with him he still carries the hemp rope. Some of it singed on their journey and gave Trinity has an idea.
With the head of steam he has in the engine, Delmonico takes his coffee contrapion and with a hiss of steam he has one of those thick cups of coffee again. ;D
Sod Buster's dinner gets ruined by the sonic boom. The loud blast caused a huge clod of dirt to fall into the corn soup on the stove and splash yours truly the cook. :o
"Dang that Del", sighs Sod Buster as he tried and fails to remove the dirt before it ruines the soup. Sod Buster tosses out the soup and decides to make something else instead. The smell that has been wafting over from the Ranch House has got him in the mood for some southwestern food so he begins making some corn-stuffed tamales. He hopes he can get through this before something else strange happens.
Quote from: Sod Buster on March 07, 2006, 08:03:22 PM
Sod Buster's dinner gets ruined by the sonic boom. The loud blast caused a huge clod of dirt to fall into the corn soup on the stove and splash yours truly the cook. :o
litl rooster consults his friend Bob Vila rides to town and buys several yards of Burlap..Tyes it to a pack mule and heads to Sod Buster's homestead......Here pard you might tack this up over the ceiling and it's PC.
Quote from: Delmonico on March 07, 2006, 07:07:01 PM
Delmonico shovels the firbox full of coal, tosses in a full jug of Trinity's best and opens the throttle. The lugged steel wheels spin for 30 full seconds before they grab and when they get 500 yards down the road, a loud boom is heard. :o :o
Everyone runs out of the house fearin' another blow up, but it is the steam traction engine makin' a sonic boom. ;D
<Authors Note: To late with the biscuits Trinity! ;D>
<<the origins of nitrous tanks on cars? Del always was ahead of his time. ;D>>
A Trinity walks by Stoney with the singed hemp rope Stoney is hungry again and don't know why. ;) ;D
"Dell, I think I'll try some of that hot sauce. I feel like I could eat anything." :o
<<Bracing for impact.>>
;D ;D ;D
Meanwhile out at the Dynamite Chicken Ranch in Arizona Territory, Marshal is awaken by sonic boom, Grabs the 10 ga.
Sheep, Del and little scrawny Rooster are up to somthing again, Looks like We gotta do em again. Bring up the Canon. A got the Caldera We micht be making some little Chicken soup. :o ;D ;D
Saddles up Sheep, N rides to North East, twords Nebrasky.
When Slim comes to, he gets up and brushes myself off. "What in tarnation was dat?" :o :o :o Meanwhile, his horse comes racin' from the west on jumps into his arms causing Slim to fall down with the horse on top of him. :o :o :o :o :o ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)
Delmonico goes to his Coal Oil Computor and gets on usin' his 4 stand barb-wire broad band and does a search for dental supplies. ::) ::) He orders a tank of laughin' gas fer another adventure. ;D (Thanks Stoney)
<Authors Note: Fer ya new readers, if'n yer subject to electrical interupions in yer area you can get on a Delmonico's famous coal Oil (kerosene) powered computors at: www.coaloilcomputor.com thank ya fer the bizzenes>
as the glow from the furnace cools to a glowing red, Ozark rolls out the munchmobile with the newest in turbo air ventilation. Now Del will be able to cook on the go, have warming ovens and cooling cubbards in the munchmobile, ice boxes and a window to sell any leftovers out of.
also during the night a pulley system has been installed on the roller, allowing Del to lift the roller off the ground for high speed use. but still allowing him to lower it when needed for rolling and tenderizing.
After leaving The homested of Sod Busters. litl rooster, catches up with the Traction powered roach coach. While admiring the custom craftmanship, a rider ride up.... hands me a tele graf. With all urgency I spin Pea Eye on his hocks and return to the "bomb shelter." Making short work of packing 3 double barrels his 45-90 buffalo rifle and a 44-40. loading extra pistol and rifle ammo in one case and a case of shot shells in another. and tying the supplies on the mule. I head towards the Southwest road.
Leaving a note at the door : Got
tely graf, statin' varmit Sheep hearder has been hidin' out in the SW, apparently Utah doesn't want him back either. Going to set traps in case he tries to bring sheep back.
Be back soon.
<Arthur's note: Great roach coach, OT. ;D>
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on March 08, 2006, 03:21:14 PM
as the glow from the furnace cools to a glowing red, Ozark rolls out the munchmobile with the newest in turbo air ventilation. Now Del will be able to cook on the go, have warming ovens and cooling cubbards in the munchmobile, ice boxes and a window to sell any leftovers out of.
also during the night a pulley system has been installed on the roller, allowing Del to lift the roller off the ground for high speed use. but still allowing him to lower it when needed for rolling and tenderizing.
(http://www.cascity.com/forumhall/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=974.0;attach=5573;image)
"Dern! Ah thought that thang a trailin' behind were a smoker!"
Quote from: stoneypete on March 08, 2006, 05:16:11 AM
<<the origins of nitrous tanks on cars? Del always was ahead of his time. ;D>>
A Trinity walks by Stoney with the singed hemp rope Stoney is hungry again and don't know why. ;) ;D
"Dell, I think I'll try some of that hot sauce. I feel like I could eat anything." :o
<<Bracing for impact.>>
"Ah'm more hongry than usual too, Stoned, er, Stoney! Ah gots me an idear. A'm goin' over ta the Munchmobile an' cut up some taters an' fry tha pieces. That orta taste derned good!"
Uh Trinity, as I recall tha last time you tried ta cook something you almost set yourself and tha Ranch on fire! :o
Delmonico wonders, with litl rooser gone, who can rope Trinity and help chain him to the back of the steam traction engine. ::)
Hmmm, wonder if I got any of those rockets left in the barn. ::)
Quote from: litl rooster on March 08, 2006, 04:57:51 AM
litl rooster consults his friend Bob Vila rides to town and buys several yards of Burlap..Tyes it to a pack mule and heads to Sod Buster's homestead......Here pard you might tack this up over the ceiling and it's PC.
Sod Buster finally finishes tacking up the burlap. That should hold back some of the dirt - especially if Del is gonna continue causing the earth to shudder. :o
Slim finally crawls out from beneath his horse. "Get up horse!" Horse gets up. Slim thinks to himself, "Why didn't I say that when I was under the horse?" ::) He gets in the saddle and rides toward the ranch. He meets up with the traction engine.
Delmonico starts loadin' up the Roach Coach and sees a piece of that Wonder Bread toast that Trinity dropped when litl rooster roped him. :o :o :o Foam starts comin' out of his mouth and he heads to the workshop in the barn, faster that a Slim that's eaten hot sauce. ::)
Delmonico checks he coal Oil Computor, sees the sheepherder postin' and cuts him off at the pass. ;D
:D
Little 'Hot under the coller? Del?'
Nope, just out smarted ya again. ;D
Again Delmonico cuts off the sheepherder. ;D
;D
Not realy Del, whilest You'ts was working that Sheep poured flowers of Sulfer onthe Traction engines axles N the wheeles just fell off. :o ;D
Sent You a litttle present from Paris France, That box in Yer parlor, My little friend Pepe Le Pue! He gets out spraints the dinning hall, jumps up N kisses Del. :o
LOL!
Sheep kicks over the Laffing gas bottle. ;D
The valve breaks off, the tank takes off and snags the skunk, the sheep and the sheepherder and away they go. ;D They come down in a sugar cane field in Loosy-anna. ::)
;D ;D ;D
Valve sparks an the Lauaghing gas expoldes scatterin Dels pots. Marshal N Sheep are unhurt, N tellport back to nebrasky, Pepe' ""Perfumes"" the Dinner. :o N Kisses Dell again ::).
Marshal N Sheep rolling on Ground laughing. ;D
Marshal gets small cast-iron leg pot and Da Cleaver out. Now where's taht Lil Rooster? ;D
<<Arthurs note to MH: Please stop implicating Sheep in your schemes. Sheep (Trinity named him while drunk. Besides, even sober he doesn't have much imagination) has been a good drinking buddy to Trinity and a friend to all at the Ranch with No Name for a long time now. Please name or number your sheep so that the reader does not build any animosity towards Sheep. ;) :) >>
As Slim rides up to the Munchmobile, Trinity looks up at him and says: "Whaaats uup, maaaaaaaaan?" The smouldering rope sits beside him. Stoneypete is sleeping a few yards off.
Ya notice the sheepherder has know got a friend of his own kind he added to the story. ;D
With Trinity farther away, fresh air enters Stoney lungs...nope that's the smell of skunk. :o Coughing and gagging he heads toward the food again. "Keep that there rope away from me Trinity. The smoke make me want to sleep...more than usual that is." ;D
Irish notices the skunk and springs into action, he points out the cute critter to Trinity who goes over to speak to it. When the skunk passes out from Trinity's hooch laden breath Irish boxes up the skunk puts a new mailing label on the package and wires the Pony Express, Pepe is on his way to the Arizona Sheep Ranch that serves as the secret lair of Marshal Harpoluke!
Delmonico sees the hemp rope burnin' and stomps it out. The smoke stops and the halucynations of a skunk also stop. ;D
(Got that idea from a song I heard in the 70's on KAAY 1090 kilocycles Little Rock, Beaker Street, Mon-Sat 11pm to 2 am Central time, Clyde Cliffard on yer car radio. ;D)
Quote from: Delmonico on March 10, 2006, 10:09:08 AM
Delmonico sees the hemp rope burnin' and stomps it out. The smoke stops and the halucynations of a skunk also stop. ;D
(Got that idea from a song I heard in the 70's on KAAY 1090 kilocycles Little Rock, Beaker Street, Mon-Sat 11pm to 2 am Central time, Clyde Cliffard on yer car radio. ;D)
<Arthur's note: They could've all been nippin' at Piso's Cure.> :o :o :o
http://www.cascity.com/forumhall/index.php/topic,8092.0.html
"Howdy, Trinity. Ye shouldn't ought ta burn dat hemp rope. Ya might start seein' strange critters."
QuoteDogs as large as Durham bulls ran out and barked at us as we passed. Flocks of English sparrows with spread of wing greater than the condor rose from the road-bed and flew away.
Delmonico hitches the mules to the wagon, "I'm headed to Dunning fer supplies, fer some reason while Trinity was burnin' that rope y'all et up almost everyting on the place. Slim et my whole case of canned anchovies." ;D
"At least I won't get goiters fer awhile, now." ::) ;D
Delmonico turns away from Slim's "fish breath" and checks the cellar. He adds squash to the list since Trinity has eaten all that up. ;D
As Delmonico heads to town, he gets a tinglin' up his spine, kinda like he's bein' watched by a sheepherder. ::)
Slim puts his horse in the barn. He checks fer eggs and milches the cow.
Delmonico hopes it don't rain, he only has his bedroll to camp in on his two day trip to Dunning.
He figures he's gonna have to do sumthin' to get even with Trinity fer leavin' the burnin' rope layin' round and makin' everyone munch up the supplies. That durned Stoney Pete done et up all the liver sausage, not a big deal, but he spread it on mollasses raisin cookies. ::)
As he looks for a place to camp for the night, Delmonico gets that feelin' again that the sheepherder is lurkin' around somewhere watchin'. ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on March 10, 2006, 02:45:52 PM
Delmonico hopes it don't rain, he only has his bedroll to camp in on his two day trip to Dunning.
He figures he's gonna have to do sumthin' to get even with Trinity fer leavin' the burnin' rope layin' round and makin' everyone munch up the supplies. That durned Stoney Pete done et up all the liver sausage, not a big deal, but he spread it on mollasses raisin cookies. ::)
<<It seemed like a good idea at the time.>>
Stoney headed to the out house. Even though the halucinogenic skunk was gone, there wuz now a new smell in the air. :o (http://users.pandora.be/eforum/emoticons4u/obscene/eck28.gif) ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on March 10, 2006, 03:37:40 PM
As he looks for a place to camp for the night, Delmonico gets that feelin' again that the sheepherder is lurkin' around somewhere watchin'. ;D
;D
;D
Keep dat Para-noi-yo up Del Ah is right behind You. :D :o
Delmonico reaches town and stops at the Sherriff's office to report the lurkin' sheepherder with the unbranded sheep. ;D
Perched on a nearby knoll [ possiablly a Grassy Knoll] litl rooster see's Delmonico safley make it to town, Thru his newly mounted scope he see's the marshall and daSheep(da is for Trinity's sake)(Knowing Trinity's sheep is no harm to a man and is grandfathered in under the old brand law) sneaking thru the native grass of the plains, lurkin {nope it's more like a nusince stalking} behind Delmonico. Carefully keeping the cross hairs on the pesky "woolie" he waits, little does he know the end is near.
To kill a varmit you must think like a varmit
To kill da Sheep you must first quit thinking.
Quote from: Delmonico on March 10, 2006, 01:44:48 PM
Delmonico turns away from Slim's "fish breath" and checks the cellar. He adds squash to the list since Trinity has eaten all that up. ;D
"
AH ET WHAT??!??!??!?? Keep that thar rope away from me an' give me mah jug back!!!!!!! *sniff* *sniff* Jest what is that awful smail in the air?"
Quote from: litl rooster on March 11, 2006, 03:40:30 PM
Perched on a nearby knoll [ possiablly a Grassy Knoll] litl rooster see's Delmonico safley make it to town, Thru his newly mounted scope he see's the marshall and daSheep(da is for Trinity's sake)(Knowing Trinity's sheep is no harm to a man and is grandfathered in under the old brand law) sneaking thru the native grass of the plains, lurkin {nope it's more like a nusince stalking} behind Delmonico. Carefully keeping the cross hairs on the pesky "woolie" he waits, little does he know the end is near.
To kill a varmit you must think like a varmit
To kill da Sheep you must first quit thinking.
:o ;D
Little Does that small (Bushwackin) chickin know that He is looking at a prop. :D Marshall has the drop on Em, N lets Him have it in the Tail Feathers with the 10ga. (loaded with Rock Salt/npepper) Wraps that Sheep-stealing-bushwhackin fouwell with 4wire/4barb 'Devil wire' N hauales Rooster off to Da sheriff. Lil Rooster dosn't know Marshall has Deputized Da Sheep, Bushwhackin Marshalls is a Feloney. If'in Ya don't change Yer ways You'll wind up in Da pot. :o Heres Yer feathers Ah hope Yeh keep em numbered. :D ;D
author's note>>>>>>>>>>>>>>See what I mean? Just quit thinking.
Sheep smell to bad to sneak up (Stalk) on anything...Talk about using dummies
Trinity wakes up just before noon and curses because he got up so darned early. "Derned bladder!"
Going into the kitchen, he finds no coffee, so he makes some in Del's big pot, enough for everyone. After drinking one cup he goes into the barn and after a few minutes comes back out with his horse and a good length of Del's hemp rope.
To his horse he says "Ah got this idear from that there stranger in the soddy. Over ta still site number 8, we's gots us a brew kettle. C'mon, less go make us some rope beer" Together they ride off into the brush.
Quote from: litl rooster on March 12, 2006, 05:58:01 AM
author's note>>>>>>>>>>>>>>See what I mean? Just quit thinking.
Sheep smell to bad to sneak up (Stalk) on anything...Talk about using dummies
;DLook Who's callin Da Kettle....., Yer the one with the 'chickin' avitar talk about 'dummie. :o Sheep do smell, so do Cattle, Horses, N Humans; but Chickins Stink! :o
Some hunnter You'r da one wraped up in barbed wire. :D ;D
Yer scrawny, n kinda tough, we'll boil Yeh down in the pot.
Who's got a "chickin" avitar??
These are chickens:
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/Chicken2520Family.jpg)
This is litl rooster's avitar:
(http://www.cascity.com/forumhall/index.php?action=dlattach;attach=5424;type=avatar)
This is a tasty meal:
(http://www.cascity.com/forumhall/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=974.0;attach=5618;image)
;D ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Trinity on March 12, 2006, 12:30:32 PM
Who's got a "chickin" avitar??
These are chickens:
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/Chicken2520Family.jpg)
This is litl rooster's avitar:
(http://www.cascity.com/forumhall/index.php?action=dlattach;attach=5424;type=avatar)
This is a tasty meal:
(http://www.cascity.com/forumhall/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=974.0;attach=5618;image)
;D ;D ;D ;D
Its in His name Trinity. A man? named Lil Rooster? ;D
And Yes I realy do play the Harp.
I'm also called Luke.
Delmonico decides to stay in town a couple days and get some bizzeness done that needs done. ;D
Quote from: Marshal harpoluke on March 12, 2006, 01:28:33 PM
Its in His name Trinity. A man? named Lil Rooster? ;D
And Yes I realy do play the Harp.
I'm also called Luke.
Oh
Name. You said avatar. That's what folks commonly refer the little pictures that are supposed to represent each person as.
My name? Well... I'm one of three. ;D ;D
;D
After 3 days in the outhouse, Stoney heads to the house and eats some dry bread. It the first thing he dared put on his stomach since the liver sausage.
Quote from: Trinity on March 12, 2006, 10:10:29 AM
To his horse he says "Ah got this idear from that there stranger in the soddy. Over ta still site number 8, we's gots us a brew kettle. C'mon, less go make us some rope beer" Together they ride off into the brush.
<Author's note: OH GAWD!! :o :o >
Over ta still site number 8, we's gots us a brew kettle. C'mon, less go make us some rope beer" Together they ride off into the brush.
[/quote]
Over at still site number 8 Trinity is letting the rope steep with the hops. He and Jolly Jumper (his horse) are anxious to try some, but know that it isn't quite ready yet... still too bitter. For now they just have some of that cinnamon flavored hooch with gold flecks in it that is so popular with the miners.
Quote from: Trinity on March 12, 2006, 03:28:23 PM
Oh Name. You said avatar. That's what folks commonly refer the little pictures that are supposed to represent each person as.
My name? Well... I'm one of three. ;D ;D
>>>>You've got your alter ego down PAT too ;D ;D ;D ;D<<<<<<<<
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on March 12, 2006, 08:38:28 PM
Over ta still site number 8, we's gots us a brew kettle. C'mon, less go make us some rope beer" Together they ride off into the brush.
OSHA has caught up with Trinity ;D ;D ;D
Slim rides in from the Northeast and leads his horse into the barn. Thud! ::) ::) ::) ::)
Quote from: Trinity on March 12, 2006, 09:35:08 PM
Over at still site number 8 Trinity is letting the rope steep with the hops. He and Jolly Jumper (his horse) are anxious to try some, but know that it isn't quite ready yet... still too bitter. For now they just have some of that cinnamon flavored hooch with gold flecks in it that is so popular with the miners.
<Athor's note: You needed roasted hemp seeds to make this brew. Don't forget the Irish Moss!
It's too bad Stoney Pete ate all the cookies, I'm getting hungry ;D
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on March 13, 2006, 12:18:11 PM
Slim rides in from the Northeast and leads his horse into the barn. Thud! ::) ::) ::) ::)
Slim's back ;D
Slim picks himself up and leads his horse thru the open barn door. He takes care of the horse. He gathers eggs and milches the cow. He takes the eggs, milk, and Wiscoooooooooonsin cheese into the house. "Anyone home?" He puts the food in the icebox and pours a cup of coffee.
Quote from: Sod Buster on March 13, 2006, 01:20:31 PM
<Athor's note: You needed roasted hemp seeds to make this brew. Don't forget the Irish Moss!
Trinity hears the disembodied voice call out to him about the hemp seeds. He looks around and isn't quite sure what the rope came from originally, so on a whim he cuts a short piece of it and plants it over by the wheat. Then he rides back to the ranch and silently slips into the FFG's cuppola. After standing still for a few moments, he brushes a tear aside, grabs what he went to get and rides back to still site number 8.
"Ain' got no seeds, but mebbe the FFG's magical stick still gots some magicalness lef' in it." Trinity stands over the small mound which covers the rope and with a hearty "Abber dabber", he waves the stick over the mound.
"Wail, we'll jest let that be fer a whall. Ah'm gonna ask Lucky Irish Tom if he got any moss. If not, thars some over in that there holler stump."
Ozark Tracker, who has been busy down by the old steam tractor all day sees slim going into the house and decides to wander up there and show him what he hooked up. Slim, I done run a line down to that still of Trinity's closest to the barn, you know the one he uses just for human consumpution and hooked up a pressure line offn the steam engine and attached one of the taps over here by the sink, that way we can have drippings at the tug of a handle, this way when Trinity goes down to stoke up the fire in the winter, he won't have to walk down there and see if it's ready, and it'll also keep the water lines unfroze.
Quote from: litl rooster on March 13, 2006, 04:15:07 PM
It's too bad Stoney Pete ate all the cookies, I'm getting hungry ;D
www.phatbrownie.com
Quote from: Trinity on March 13, 2006, 07:12:45 PM
Ah'm gonna ask Lucky Irish Tom if he got any moss. If not, thars some over in that there holler stump."
The disembodied voice continues:
Moss, Irish
Botanical: Chondrus crispus (STACKH.)
Family: N.O. Algae
---Synonyms---Carrageen. Chondrus. Carrahan.
---Part Used---Plant, dried.
---Habitat---A perennial thallophyte common at low tide on all the shores of the North Atlantic, but remarkable for its extreme variability, the difference being mainly due to the great diversity in the width of the segments.
---Medicinal Action and Uses---Demulcent, emollient, nutritive. A popular remedy made into a jelly for pulmonary complaints and kidney and bladder affections. Can be combined with cocoa. The decoction is made by steeping 1/2 OZ. of the Moss in cold water for 15 minutes and then boiling it in 3 pints of milk or water for 10 or 15 minutes, after which it is strained and seasoned with liquorice, lemon or cinnamon and sweetened to taste. It can be taken freely.
Cookiess!!! That's a good idear. Stoney whips up a batch of Old English chocolate chip cookies. Hold the live sausage please. :o
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on March 13, 2006, 08:11:28 PM
Ozark Tracker, who has been busy down by the old steam tractor all day sees slim going into the house and decides to wander up there and show him what he hooked up. Slim, I done run a line down to that still of Trinity's closest to the barn, you know the one he uses just for human consumpution and hooked up a pressure line offn the steam engine and attached one of the taps over here by the sink, that way we can have drippings at the tug of a handle, this way when Trinity goes down to stoke up the fire in the winter, he won't have to walk down there and see if it's ready, and it'll also keep the water lines unfroze.
"That's a good idea." :)
litl' rooster makes his way back to the "Ranch with no Name". Pride injured and "Feathers ruffled from the salt n peppern' but alive. The Yaqui medicene man, was right Poco Gallo will live a 100 years. After washing up with the newly installed hot water, he heads to the barn. Returnin to the house he inquires about the rope he had stored away fro the sunken Trawler. Everyone stares at Trinity. ::) ::) ::)
;D
"Here chici, chici, chici---I don't want to hurt Ya, I just want to eat Ya." :D :o ;D (Fricsco Kid) Now just slip into this here caldara/I mean bathtub. heh, Heh, HEH! :o
Did Ah ever mention dat Da Sheep is a meat-eater? Got Mah tastebud set on some 'Chickin' soup. ;D
;D
::)
Listening to the Disembodied voice use all sorts of words that Trinity doesn't understand causes him to fall asleep after the word "Chondrus". When he wakes up the disembodied voice is no longer to be heard and Lucky Irish Tom is still nowhere to be found. Shrugging, Trinity retrieves the moss from the hollow stump and continues making his new brew.
"What is we gonna call this, Jolly? How about Holler Stump Moss Beer?
...
Ah suddenly got this feelin' that Ah'm bein' stared at!"
the Arkansas Traveller having been camped out in his wagons, beside the barn for the last week still wonders ifin this sheep hunt will get off the ground, he has telegraphed back home to Hogeye, Ark asking his uncle Fud to send him some fellars up here that could help out in a range war, cause it don't look good, theys been a lot of unnatural things going on.
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on March 14, 2006, 09:20:33 PM
the Arkansas Traveller having been camped out in his wagons, beside the barn for the last week still wonders ifin this sheep hunt will get off the ground, he has telegraphed back home to Hogeye, Ark asking his uncle Fud to send him some fellars up here that could help out in a range war, cause it don't look good, theys been a lot of unnatural things going on.
:o ;D
Marshal intercepts the wire and sends one of His own.
Da Sheep has some of His Goat friends in Hogeye, Ark slick up the Hogs and leave the gates to pen and wallow unlached. :o
Hogs escape! Uncle Fud and friends chase hogs. ;D
Da Sheep sneeks in a loosens nuts on wagon axels. Wheels fall off. :o
Ozark walks by Marshall and dosn't recoginize Him, Marshall sticks foot out and Ozark tripsNfalls into the Sheep/Cattle dip. :o ::) ;D
;D
Ozark picks hisself up and just wishes all this would just dust off. no chance of that!!, well I recon it's a good thang we's got that hot water installed.. I'll have to walk upwind of myself all the way to the ranch.
While the Marshal is not looking, he offers a bit of his unfinished brew to Da Sheep...
Suddenly all of his hair falls off.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/4c4694ed.jpg)
Quote from: Trinity on March 14, 2006, 10:03:02 PM
While the Marshal is not looking, he offers a bit of his unfinished brew to Da Sheep...
Suddenly all of his hair falls off.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/4c4694ed.jpg)
Unfortunatly Trinity mistakes Sheep for Da Sheep(Ya know thay all look alike) N Shears tha wrong sheep. ;D This is not so bad Sheep need to be shorn at lleast Once a year. :D
No harm done, besides Trinity needed a new sadle blanket.
Da Sheep dusts Himself off N escapes.
Slim fills his canteens with water. Grabs some grub from the kitchen and puts in his warbags. He goes out and saddles his horse. Straps on his saber and Remington New Model Army. He mounts his horse, pulls his saber, and yells, "Off to take Richmond!" ;D ;D ;D ;D He rides away from the setting sun.
Delmonico comes in with the groceries, includin' some Irish Moss to thicken the blanc mange er manfe or what ever ya call that French puddin'. ;D
Quote from: Marshal harpoluke on March 14, 2006, 11:47:37 PM
Unfortunatly Trinity mistakes Sheep for Da Sheep(Ya know thay all look alike) N Shears tha wrong sheep. ;D This is not so bad Sheep need to be shorn at lleast Once a year. :D
No harm done, besides Trinity needed a new sadle blanket.
Da Sheep dusts Himself off N escapes.
Sheep, having more ability to handle his alcohol than Da Sheep laughs at Da Sheep as he gathers his hair, all the while thinking that he's Sheep. Hearing the Marshal's comments about sheep looking all the same goes and looks in a mirror. Seeing this, Trinity says: "Don' pay no 'ttenshun ta him. He won' know a good lookin' sheep if it bit him in the..."
Sheep runs back and bites Marshal H. ... and the Marshal, doesn't recognize him. ::) ::)
Delmonico gets the groceries put away, and starts supper. ;D Havin' stopped and checked things out, he has a mess of trouts from the stockin' in the Dismal last spring. Nice 12 inch ones fried in butter with the heads on, as it should be. ;D "Here's lookin' at ya."
He also has gathered some fresh lambsquarter and cooked it with some salt pork. The vinegar pie is coolin' when he hollors, "SUPPER."
Ozark comes walking from the barn after his washdown and getting all the sheep dip aired out and burning that set of clothes. He sees Del has returned and is cooking up a storm in the kitchen, sure smells good in here. where is everybody?
:o
Marshall, says that must be Trinity's Sheep. Dresses wound. I'll have to have em for Lamb stew. ;D
Only if you like pickled lamb...
Delmonico tells Trinity to quit are-gou-in' with the sheep herder and get in ta the kitchen and eat his supper. :o
As everyone sits down for supper, Delmonico sees the sheepherder peekin' in the window again. ::)
Quote from: Delmonico on March 15, 2006, 07:25:25 PM
Delmonico tells Trinity to quit are-gou-in' with the sheep herder and get in ta the kitchen and eat his supper. :o
Trinity lowers his head and sulks into the kitchen and seats himself. "Please pass tha Frainch puddin'"
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/Goma_BlancMange.jpg)
No dessert till ya have et yer fish and greens. ::)
"Ok. Pass tha green gelatin, please"
Delmonico looks up and the sheep herder is peekin' in the window again. ::)
Psst, watch this Trinity, I bet I can hit the sheep herder right tween the eyes next time he peeks
"No fair!! Lemme load up too. Dail, please pass the peas."
While the sheepherder lurks in the window....litl rooster douses da Sheep's winter coat with coal oil and strikes a fire stick to it. Dat should rid the ranch of the foul odor...
Trinity becareful of the dessert.....it don't look like anything that ever walked, crawled, slithered, swam or flew
running to the house and speaking loudly, did I hear trout?
OPPPPPPPPPPPPPs didn't know da Sheep was still wearing that coat.....
litl' rooster laughs at da Sheep as he jumps in the sheepherders, cook pot............. ;D
with all the excitement of litl rooster setting da sheep on fire, the sheep herder raises his head above the windown sill, at that moment Trinity and Ozark let fly with the peas, a scream comes from outside.
Irish arrives at the Ranch With No Name and a flaming Sheep and a one-eyed feller screaming at the top of his lungs come running past him. He wanders into the kitchen and asks Del what is for supper.
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on March 16, 2006, 11:08:10 AM
Irish arrives at the Ranch With No Name and a flaming Sheep and a one-eyed feller screaming at the top of his lungs come running past him. He wanders into the kitchen and asks Del what is for supper.
I hope it's Corned Beef and cabbage.......................... ;D
think fast..........it's hard to type with one eye
:(
Marshall puts mud and spittle in eye, N prays to the Lord God-and He heals Him. ;D
Now, Theres a Baptism ta do. :o
Da Sheep jumps out of da pot and completes Marshall's plan.
Da Sheep puts two 'adetives' into the pot of Corn Beef N cabbage. Trinity, Lil Rooster, Ozark Tracker, Lucky Irish Tom partake of the Stew.
About five minites later the Ipi-kac N Fleet has their effect; :o Der all pukin n Sh*&%$tin running out of Del's, Marshall sticks foot out again N trips the lot of them N they fall into the Horse trough. :o Marshall has filled the Trough with Sheep dip--Da Sheep dip splashes up into Del's face. Meanwhile Pepe' Le Pue' arrives sees del jumps up N gives Him a Kiss. :o ;D
Marshall Says to Delmnico, "Looks like We all came out just about even--Ya had enough--or do Ya want some more?" I got more important fish ta fry, Dem Barbery Pirets are attackin our ships N stealing our wimmin N thretinin our sea lanes and ports. Need to go N teach these Nerdowell Fanitic's a lesson in proper mannors. :o
8)
;D
Marshalls note; Don't know why Pepe' loves Delminico, must be one of dem there French connection things. ;D
"Well good bye"
with the outhouse being so popular, a line forms quickly
Delmonico says, well at least he ain't peekin' now. ;D
Unaffected by the smell of the sheep dip (Primarily because he usually smells worse himself), Trinity goes into the kitchen and rummages around in the ice box until he finds a cooked leg of some large flying critter. Smiling to himself, Trinity sits and begins gnawing.
Git ready Trinity, he's window peekin' again. ::)
Patooey........................................................PING! "Bull's eye! Wail, no, actually sheepherder's eye!" ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on March 16, 2006, 06:05:09 PM
Delmonico says, well at least he ain't peekin' now. ;D
Ah is here. Never was peeking, Marshall shoots Trinity in da privets with 10ga loaded with Rock Salt N Pepper.
Direct hit! ;D :o Da Sheep buts Trinity back into the Horse trough.
Marshall muses, "Somtimes it takes more than One duncking". Guese Will'll have ta do this Sundance style. ;D
:D
::)
Lord Ah do hate Bushwackers! >:(
Pours Trinity's Jug into the Horse trough. :o
Trinity gets up out of the trough after Marshal pours his jug of squeezin's out. Trinity doesn't mind though, because he knew this was the jug that Delmonico had tainted with "Cosey Justice" only a few hours earlier (All because Trinity didn't like his french pudding. Go figure!). However, it's the thought that counts and Trinity doesn't like the thought that the Marshal would ever pour such a fine elixir out. >:(
;D
Da Marshall knows how git Ya, Trinity. :o
;D
Marshall leaves fresh Jug of 'White Lightning'. after all Trinity needs His sqeezings. ;D
Trinity looks at the jug, most importantly the cork. Scoffing: "Heh! Spanish cork. Ah would never ever use that junk. Only Portugese corks fer me!"
Thinking it's another trick, Trinity takes the jug and walks to the end of the excrement tube and drops it in the river.
;D
Da Good Book says, scoffing is a sin. Marshall would never play that kind of trick on You.
Talk about wasting good Hooch. :(
Ye can lead a horse to water, but Ya can't make Him drink. :(
Delmonico looks at Trinity and says, "Yes, if'n ya used any thing but a Porty-geese cork, the strange picture in the hallway would haunt ya." ;D
Delmonico puts out supper, fresh catfish from the Dismal, with out the head of course. ;D :P
(Catfish served with the head on would be too much.) Steamed rice and fried turnips and Angel Food Cake finish up the meal. ;D (Talk about a bland colored meal.)
Eat up boys and pull yer winder shade tonight, the sheepherder was up late last night. ;D
Sod Buster rides up to the Ranch House and askes if anyone has seen Trinity. I think I saw his drinkin' buddy in town celebrating St. Paddy's Day"
(http://www.schlagging.com/mike/green_sheep.jpg)
;D ;D ;D
With everyone gone from the ranch fer the weekend, Delmonico has plans. ;D
Delmonico finds an empty jug of Trinity's, a good Porty-geese cork, some copper tubin', some rubber tubin', a valve and a small hand pump and heads for his barn workshop as the snow in Newbrassky comes down in large flakes. ???
Delmonico gets out a hand drill and usin' plenty of oil, slowly drills a hole in the side of the jug, near the top.. ;D ::) ???
Almost an hour later Delmonico finally gets the hole drilled and he then installs a one way air valve. ???
Delmonico drills a hole in the cork, he puts a piece of copper tube in it that is long enough to almost reach the bottom of the jug, with just a little bit stickin' up above the cork. ;D ::)
Delmonico solders a valve to a 3 foot chunk of copper tubin' and put a hunk a rubber tubin' between the valve and the piece a tubin' stickin' up from the cork. ::) ;)
Finished with the project, he takes it into the house and puts it in the Wedgewood room. He then goes to the kitchen and brews up a big pot a coffee and proceeds to drink big bunches of coffee. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;)
When 'bout half way through the pot of coffee, Delmonico gets another idea. He slips upstairs and "borrows" the Vern-eee-ear rear sight and the spirit level wind gauge front sight offa Slim's Sharps and mounts them on the copper tube of the copper tubin' on the contraption in the Wedgewood room. ;D ??? ::)
Delmonico goes into the Wedgewood room, in a few minutes he's back. The cork is tightly in place on his invention. ;D He gets the hand pump and connents it to the valve on the side and pumps 30 strokes on the pump and removes it. ::)
Yes he has invented the ultimate in long range "pee" shooters. ;D ::)
<Authors Note: This is the reason the good cork was needed, if the cork came out under pressure.............................................................>
Quote from: Delmonico on March 18, 2006, 05:15:51 PM
Delmonico goes into the Wedgewood room, in a few minutes he's back. The cork is tightly in place on his invention. ;D He gets the hand pump and connents it to the valve on the side and pumps 30 strokes on the pump and removes it. ::)
Yes he has invented the ultimate in long range "pee" shooters. ;D ::)
<Authors Note: This is the reason the good cork was needed, if the cork came out under pressure.............................................................>
Marshal sees Del sneaking back, "Shure do hate Bushwackers", Marshal starts settin His plan into action.
Trinity is the first to return to the ranch and sees his jug in the wedgewood room. Curious yet cautious, Trinity wonder's what Del is up to.
Having a very short attention span, Trinity begins to think of what he saw while returning to the ranch. "Anybody hair? Guiss what Ah sawr! Ah sawr summa litl roosters fav-o-rite thangs!!"
Quote from: Trinity on March 21, 2006, 07:14:56 PM
Guiss what Ah sawr! Ah sawr summa litl roosters fav-o-rite thangs!!"
Sod Buster did notice a stink in the air but since the weather has been so cold, he has been stuck in his soddy twisting hay to pass the time.
Ozark, who's in the barn, hears Trinity yelling in the house, being as how it had come a blizzard, had to light up the forge to keep warm, starts toward the house to see what the noise is about.
leaving his wagon dog and the wagon dogs, rabbit and their jug in the barn.
we had to keep from freezing somehow.
Trinity finds the bottle and reaches down for it but the dog starts growling and the bunny bares her teeth. Trinity slowly backs away.
Quote from: Sod Buster on March 21, 2006, 07:55:39 PM
Sod Buster did notice a stinnk in the air but since the weather has been so cold, he has been stuck in his soddy twisting hay to pass the time.
Wow! That sounds like fun. Coulda lighted a piece of rope, but you gave it all to litl rooster. :D
Quote from: Trinity on March 21, 2006, 09:15:22 PM
Wow! That sounds like fun. Coulda lighted a piece of rope, but you gave it all to litl rooster. :D
Well, I ain't lightin' it to smoke......it is for
heat since the snow has covered all of the buffalo chips!
Some of the boys around here do smoke the silk from the corn though. Want some?
What does it taste like a-smokin'?
I'll just stick to gettin my corn from a jar.
"Uncle Cletus?? Zat you?"
Quote from: Trinity on March 21, 2006, 09:32:38 PM
What does it taste like a-smokin'?
The first thing you gotta do (during harvest season) is to search for the perfect ear of corn. Look for tufts of dried brownish-red corn silk sticking out of the top. If you can't find enough dry silk it means you gotta use the green silk. You must let the green stuff dry in the sun for a few days.
After a few days check out the drying silk and get rid of any green strands. The green strands give a bitter taste to the smoke.
Pack yer pipe with the silk, light it with a lucifer and puff away! It ain't as good as Prince Albert but it will do! ;D
Over at the Ranch With No Name a stranger rides up, dismounts, walks up the steps and tears the door of of its hinges. Inside the kitchen, the stranger looks around and finally satisfied that he's not going to find what he's looking for, he leaves.
The stranger's eyes widen and his lips curl into a smile when he sees the barn. Into the barn he goes and after a few minutes he emerges with ten horses, one neatly tied to the next. Mounting his own horse, never letting loose of the string of horses, the stranger leaves.
That P-eye horse best still be in the barn, or Litl Rooster will have himself a lynching.
Ozark, who's been down working on the steam tractor, walks by the barn returning to the house, before reaching the house he turns and thinks to hisself, sure is awful quite int he barn, and starts again toward the house.
:o
Marshal, Who's been glassin Delmonico's, sees rustler leave with horses, grabs His Highwall N Paper patched bulltes, Da Cannon and mounts up Da Sheep.
Looks like We gonna have a Necktie party. ;D
Gonna have to mount up a possie.
Sleeping upstairs Irish hears the crash. By the time he gets downstairs he sees a strange feller riding off with the horses from the barn. Irish loads his mule-eared double and steps out on the porch. He whistles a lilting gaelic melody, as it floats on the wind it is picked up by the ears of Thunder and Earthquake his driving team that is part of the string of horses the stranger took. Hearing the call the 19 hand Percherons turn on cue and head back toward the Ranch, pulling the other 8 horses and the stranger, whose hand is caught in the lead line, inexorably back to the waiting Irishman.
All the commotion disturbs Stoney (who's been eating the cookies for about a week know). He sees his horse ridding in being led by Tom's team. "What in the wide wide world of sports in going on here?"
He sees a man being dragged behind the horses and give him a boot to the head. "Teach you to take whats mine." >:(
Within half an hour the horses are back in the barn, the door is fixed and Stoney, Tom, Ozark and the Marshal are sitting on the porch sipping coffee waiting for the (now hogtied) man to regain conciousness.
Ozark, leans back in the chair on the porch and proclaims: I think Tom done good and Stoney's done hog tied him, when he wakes up we'll have to:
litl' rooster rides back to the ranch with a new coil of rope that the Brown Overland Stage left at the livery for him. "Looks like I returned just in time" looking down at the others handy werk.
;D
Looks like We'll have to wire fer the Hanging Judge and give Him a fair trial, an then a proper Hanging. :o
Del should be back on the Next stage. Meanwile You'll is Deputized, gotta make this 'Legal'.
Ya can't Lynch him, I mean hang Em yet. >:(
Finally deciding that he has played long enough with the gang of men around him, Bambino lets out a loud growl, breaks the rope into many tiny pieces and takes up the string again. Before leaving, he pounds Lucky Irish Tom on the top of the head, knocking him out. Looking at the Percherons with admiration, he takes them too.
Before leaving he calls out to Stoneypete: "You! Cookie man. Tell Trinity I'm looking for him."
Quote from: Bambino on March 23, 2006, 06:32:52 PM
Finally deciding that he has played long enough with the gang of men around him, Bambino lets out a loud growl, breaks the rope into many tiny pieces and takes up the string again. Before leaving, he pounds Lucky Irish Tom on the top of the head, knocking him out. Looking at the Percherons with admiration, he takes them too.
Before leaving he calls out to Stoneypete: "You! Cookie man. Tell Trinity I'm looking for him."
;D
Bambino forgot about Marshal N Da Sheep. Marshal shoots Babino in the Privets with Da 10ga. Loaded With RocksaltnPepercorns. Da Sheep blasts Him with Da Dynamite knock Him uncounchoncous. :o Marshal hancuffes Him with the 'Yuma' hancuff n legirons--nobody gets out of these. Da Sheep voids on him N kickes Him into the Sheep dip. :o ;D ;D
Marshal wakes up Irish tom, Ozark, an Stonypete--has quite a time convincing them not to kill Him outright. :o
Ozark recovers and stands guard, with Da 10ga--this time loaded with #00 buck. :o
>:(
:D :D ;D
Ozark figures they need all the locks they can put on this fellar, asks for the big lock down at the barn to be brought and locked onto the chains,
Quote from: Bambino on March 23, 2006, 06:32:52 PM
Before leaving he calls out to Stoneypete: "You! Cookie man. Tell Trinity I'm looking for him."
"I ain't no delivery service." But the sound of Pete's voice was drowned out by the sound of Marshals shotgun and the screams of the man grabbin his privates. :o
Trinity sleepily walks downstairs and sees the pile of rope pieces that someone had swept up into a neat pile. His eyes light up and he takes a handfull over to the stove and drops them in a skillet and puts that on the fire.
"Orta be smellin' right good in hair in just a few minutes!"
Then Trinity steps outside to see what all the noise is about.
:o"Bambino!"
Don't call me that!!!
And get me out of here! Your friends are crazy. That sheep marshal had better stay away from me. He obviously doesn't know who I am!
Delmonico comes out of the cellar to see what all the fuss is about. When they tell him the sheepherder has been after a horse thief, he just snorts, "Must be upset someone beat him to it." ;D
Quote from: Bambino on March 24, 2006, 06:52:11 PM
Don't call me that!!!
And get me out of here! Your friends are crazy. That sheep marshal had better stay away from me. He obviously doesn't know who I am!
Trinity unties Bambino and says: "Naw, they's right good folk. 'Ceptin that marshal feller. <<whispering>> You know he rides a derned sheep?!?!? He tails folks that it ain' no sheep but some sort of rascal. <<whisper off>><<twirling fingers around ear>> Loco en la cabeza, you know? ??? :P
Quote from: Trinity on March 24, 2006, 07:00:28 PM
Trinity unties Bambino and says: "Naw, they's right good folk. 'Ceptin that marshal feller. <<whispering>> You know he rides a derned sheep?!?!? He tails folks that it ain' no sheep but some sort of rascal. <<whisper off>><<twirling fingers around ear>> Loco en la cabeza, you know? ??? :P
Ya don't need ta whisper Trinity, Ah's been called worse things by better people. ;D
Rubbing the lump on his head Irish says, "All right Trinity, jest who iz this Babino feller, an talk quick before someone shoots him with a real bullet!" >:(
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on March 24, 2006, 08:37:43 PM
Rubbing the lump on his head Irish says, "All right Trinity, jest who iz this Babino feller, an talk quick before someone shoots him with a real bullet!" >:(
"Why, Bambino is mah older brother. He don't really mean to be so ill-tempered, it's just that he don' lahk bein' tahd up. Don' really know why he got the name Bambino, bein' that he's so big an' all, but it stuck an' he hates it. ;D"
Ya might wanna tell im that stealin hoss's in Neww-brasss-key will get im shot, hung, and kilt!
"He knows that. He jus' ain' worried 'bout it. ;D ;D Mebbe we kin talk him outta stealin' our horses and stealin' somethin' else.
Quote from: Trinity on March 25, 2006, 08:43:20 AM
"He knows that. He jus' ain' worried 'bout it. ;D ;D Mebbe we kin talk him outta stealin' our horses and stealin' somethin' else.
;D
Don't Ya even be giving Him any ideas bout stealin Ma Sheep., Ya Hear.? :o
>:(
;D
"Bambino would never stoop "that" low." ;D
Don't call me that!
Delmonico goes into the Wedgewood room and gets his pee shooter. ;D He comes back a bit later and says, "seen the strangest thing, out south a few miles, there was a whole herd of yaller sheep." :P :P :P
heard tell sheep would bring good money in Utah........................................................hint hint
That's only if they're marryin age! :o ;D
Delmonico comes up from the cellar again, "Do sheepherders wear cheap wool hats?" ::)
"Family? I'da shoulda known." ::)
I'll trail most any animal to market, but those sheep will have to find their own way to Utah.... ;D
Quote from: Wymore Wrangler on March 25, 2006, 08:49:51 PM
I'll trail most any animal to market, but those sheep will have to find their own way to Utah.... ;D
Now, now, wranglin Sheep isn't hard--just get a donkey or cow, they will follow that so all Ya need to do is lead the cow.
Tailrider, outryder, n lead no problem. Ye can't run em they'l die of heart failer, but other than that they are pretty hardy.
Watch out fer dem dag burn Sheep stealing Rustlers. :o
8)
rustlers, I say welcome to those sheep saviors, you can't ride point far enough ahead from a herd of sheep... only good part of the job is those fine dogs you get to hang around with...;D ;D ;D
Duke the yaller dog hears the new guy praisin' sheep dogs and goes out and lifts his leg on the newcomers leg. ;D
Nope, he just turned somersaults for a true dog man.... ;D
Delmonico heads out to the barn workshop, the yaller dog follows after liftin' his leg on the new guy again, just so there is no mistake as to what he meant. ;D
Delmonico gets some angle rion out of his stock of supplies and starts cuttin' it up with a hacksaw. He then drills a bunch of hole it it and starts up the forge.
When the forge is hot he heats up some rivets and rivets together the angle iron till it forms a table.
"Del is in the shop and I smell the forge. This could get interesting."
Stoney sits in his rocker sipping from one of Trinity's jugs waiting to get a glimps of whatever Del is makin'.
Turning to the man what been peed on he say's, "We got hot water if'n you want to clean up some."
Delmonico findd a couple castings from the "ill fated" steam engine that blew up. ;D He heats up some babbit material and re-pours the bearings. ::)
He then bolts one of these to each side of the table. He gets a shaft and puts a belt pully on one side and a wheel on the other side. He gets some more of the rubber tubing left over from the pee shooter and fastens them around the wheel. ???
He then takes this out and stakes it out in the yard. He fires up the steam engine and parks it near-by. He then runs the belt to the belt pulley. Opening the fire box he throws in two more shovelfuls of coal and goes and grabs one of Slim's chickens. :o :o
With the axe he dee-cap-i-tates the chicken and lets it go. When the bleeding headless chicken stops chasin' Trinity, he scalds it with steam from the steam valve and throws the clutch in on the power shaft on the steam engine. ::)
The leather bison hide belt spins the wheel with the rubber fingers and Delmonico holds the chicken against the fingers. The fingers remove the wet chicken feathers quickly. The Ranch with No Name now has a steam powered chicken plucker. ;D
Shaking his head wondering why we need all these new fangled inventions, guess Del likes living in the modern world... ::) What will they think of next a boiler for cleaningn dishes... ;D
Say it aint so! ;)
Irish sits down next to Stoney and watches Del play with his new steam powered Chicken Flicker, and wonders how it would do on dewoolying all them sheeps. Give me a pull off that jug if ya please Stoney.
From up in the cupola, Trinity sees a dejected Sheep Marshal in an empty field looking around. Going downstairs, Trinity asks: "Whar's mah brother... an' whar's the Sheep Marshal's sheep??"
;D
Da Sheep is getting a charge--ie new ladin jars. Don't know were Yer Brother is.
Ma question to Del is, is that a Kosher chicken flicker? ;D
Ozark walks up to the porch, asking what's going on and seeing all the feathers flicking everywhere. asks where Del got all the chickens to pluck. the fellars say from Slims pen, Ozark takes a peek into the pen and sees one old spindley rooster left and wonders what slim will say now?
he sure likes gathering them eggs.
:o "Don' be touchin' Frankenbird!!!!!! He's done been kilt oncet. Ah don' know if he'd make it back a second time!"
poor ole Frankenbird he done dug hisself a hole and buried his head, fraid he might see Del a coming.
"Dails the one what brung him back ta life in the first place... after first choppin his haid off. ::)"
Egads! I reckon we all better be leavin here 'fore Slim and the "Mighty 10" return......He decides to try cleanin' the plates from Dels newist contrapition.
Quote from: litl rooster on March 27, 2006, 04:16:44 AM
Egads! I reckon we all better be leavin here 'fore Slim and the "Mighty 10" return......He decides to try cleanin' the plates from Dels newist contrapition.
"A mercy kill on that contraption may be the best thing for it."
<<Tom, have you noticed no matter what thread you and I are on, we tend to end up sitting down having a drink or ten? I know this in only fantasy, but people are gonna think we're drunks.>>
Quote from: stoneypete on March 27, 2006, 05:18:03 AM
"A mercy kill on that contraption may be the best thing for it."
<<Tom, have you noticed no matter what thread you and I are on, we tend to end up sitting down having a drink or ten? I know this in only fantasy, but people are gonna think we're drunks.>>
;DNaw in real life can't drink at all--Diebetic. But Ah still can shoot. N Ah do pack a 1901 Winchester 10ga. heh, Heh, HEH. ;D ;D ;D
Delmonico comes out to the porch, "Supper's ready, we're havin' chicken noodle soup, fried chicken, roast chicken, potted chicken (not product though) chicken pot pie, chicken aspic, chicken paparika and chicken fingers. (They looked more like toes, but no one ever says the eat chicken toes.) ;D ::)
Quote from: Delmonico on March 27, 2006, 06:15:09 PM
Delmonico comes out to the porch, "Supper's ready, we're havin' chicken noodle soup, fried chicken, roast chicken, potted chicken (not product though) chicken pot pie, chicken aspic, chicken paparika and chicken fingers. (They looked more like toes, but no one ever says the eat chicken toes.) ;D ::)
No Chcken 'n Dumplings???
Delmonico just stares at Sod Buster for a few minutes and says, "Some folks are just never happy." ::) ;D
Del, Good supper. Tasted alot like chicken. ;D
after a supper of fine Southern Fried Chicken, made especially for us boys from down south. With chicken like that Del may have a little rebel in his blood.
Ozark takes a walk down to the river to check his snares. after going by a couple of empty ones he spies a great big canadian goose snared by his foot. retrieving the goose Ozark hauls him back up to the house
as he is passing the chicken plucker, he thinks! wonder if one of the fellars knows how to turn that contraption on. this goose only weighs about 20 pounds more than Slim's chickens. might get a new pillar out of this.
"What 'bout chickin wangs wif yer spaycial hot sauce??"
< Authors Note: Delmonico don't make no hot wings, chicken wings are scraps to make noodles with. Just cause some bar in Buffalo New York order the wrong number when the order chicken fer a football weekend, don't mean that I need to feed folks scraps. ;D When I make hot chicken I use boneless chicken breasts and call the product "Hot .................. er Breasts"
Don't want no trouble with the moderator here, might be in a bit of trouble when he gets back and tries to gather eggs. ;D Wait, I was only gonna pluck one, Ozark Traveler made me pluck em all. ;D>
<<Chicken breat? Is that akin to Blood Teat? ??? ???
Doin' in all his chickens gonna git you in all sorts of trouble!!>>
Quote from: Delmonico on March 27, 2006, 06:15:09 PM
Delmonico comes out to the porch, "Supper's ready, we're havin' chicken noodle soup, fried chicken, roast chicken, potted chicken (not product though) chicken pot pie, chicken aspic, chicken paparika and chicken fingers. (They looked more like toes, but no one ever says the eat chicken toes.) ;D ::)
;D ;D ;D
Delicious Del, How do You do It.? ;D :D ;D
First, he grabs 'em by the .......................................
feet, then ....
;)
Slim rides into the dooryard with a pack mule in tow. After he picks himself up offa the ground, he unties the chicken crates from the pack mule. He carries the crates to the coop and opens the door. He looks inside and sees no chickens. "What happened ta ma chickens?!?!?!?!" >:(
Slim, don't you never mind Del's bloody ax, he didn't have no part rustling your chicken, honest.... ::)
"Del's bloody ax?!?!?!" :o :o :o :o
Steel Horse rides up: he slides down offa his mount and saunters into where Slim and Wymore are cussin' an' discussin' the ax (e).
"I don't think that bloody axe belongs to Del. You KNOW he don't know nuthin' 'bout machinery. If it comes in an iron kettle, he kin master it, but otherwise ... I think GG does the killin'. 'Course I'm not sayin' that Gopher Grease did the deed, but ..."
"I was going to just butcher one, then Ozark Traveler posted that I butchered them all. ;D Don't make no differance, them old biddy's needed repaced any way." ::)
Quote from: Delmonico on March 27, 2006, 06:15:09 PM
Delmonico comes out to the porch, "Supper's ready, we're havin' chicken noodle soup, fried chicken, roast chicken, potted chicken (not product though) chicken pot pie, chicken aspic, chicken paparika and chicken fingers. (They looked more like toes, but no one ever says the eat chicken toes.) ;D ::)
Authors note....Delmonico must not know any Asian's or spent any time over there. The feets are the best part. :o
Yes I have and Bugs too.
litl rooster rides up, sees the comotion at the chicken house and listens in. Knowing chickens is the only livestock not under protection of the Brand inspector, he heads to the house for a meal.
lil rooster comes into the kitchen and finds a plate of chicken feet and a bottle of soy sauce,
kim-chee as a side dish. ;D
ah sew thank you Hopsing ;D
Trinity walks into the kitchen and sniffs the air. A perplexed look comes about his face. He lifts his arms and sniffs then looks around, still confused.
"Sumpin smails lahk tha excrement tube in her', an' it ain' me!"
Quote from: litl rooster on March 28, 2006, 06:08:14 PM
Authors note....Delmonico must not know any Asian's or spent any time over there. The feets are the best part. :o
Yes I have and Bugs too.
litl rooster rides up, sees the comotion at the chicken house and listens in. Knowing chickens is the only livestock not under protection of the Brand inspector, he heads to the house for a meal.
"Bugs have more than four legs. 'Member mah roool! :P :P :P :P :P"
<Authors Note: Hop Sing was about the only thing Period Correct about that show. ;D>
Delmonico says, "It's Kim Chee, the national dish of the land of Chosen (PC term fer Korea ;D) I learned it from a Celestial (One of the nicer Old West terms for someone from China ::)) It is a dish that is slightly fermented and has cabbage, green onions, ginger, radish and hot pepper."
"It was made and stored in clay pots buried in the ground, it has lots of vity-mans in it."
<Authors note: Yes I know vity-mans ain't been invented yet. ;D>
"Ah thank that durned pot was lef' in tha ground too long. Heck, ya might even get drunk offa it... :o ::) Here, lemme try!"
Delmonico is known fer puttin' a good bit of red peppers in his Kim-Chee and as Trinity gulps it down he turns beet red in the face. ;D
Ozark, who has been sitting in the parlor, sees Trinity as he the rounds the corner, the sight almost causes Ozark to flee in terror
The cabbage really gets to workin' and with fire comin' out both ends, Trinity jumps in the Dismal River with a hiss of steam. :o
...and bubbles.
Finally cooling down, Trinity doesn't quite know how he feels. Well, he really can't feel much right now. He looks around and forgets his situation as he watches Ozark running full speed away from the house. He chuckles under his breath as Ozark tries to jump the barbed wire fence. :o
Just as Ozark relizes it was just Trinity, he hits the bob wire with his boot that didn't quite make it over. after flipping over in the wire ripping several holes in his body. he hangs in the fence with only low growns between the cussing.
Trinity chuckles again, but decides he should go and help. As he's leaving the water he hisses again.
Ozark, while hanging on the fence, sees Trinity climbing out of the water and hears a hissing sound, thinking at first it was Trinity but then he tells his tracking dogs to get the critter, the dogs drag out a vicous alligator and proceed to neutrize him saving Trinty from a sure death.
From his Soddy, Sod Buster hears Trinity's screaming and rides over to the Ranch House to investigate. Seein' the clay pots and smelling the Kimchi brings a smile to his face. Sod Buster loves fermented Korean Cabbage! He even prefers it over sauerkraut. There is nothing that compares to cabbage that has been put into a clay pot and buried in the ground for months!! :o :o
Del...is there any left? Can I have some?? <drooling in anticipation>
Got any Bagogie or Bibim Bap?
Ya missed me!
as compared to the abnormal chickens that Del caught.
Ozark, ya did'nt need ta put them dogs in danger, tha last alligator that attacked Trinity got et. He made a pair a boots outta tha skin afterwards! ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on March 28, 2006, 05:58:51 PM
"I was going to just butcher one, then Ozark Traveler posted that I butchered them all. ;D Don't make no differance, them old biddy's needed repaced any way." ::)
"Alright, I just had to make sure we didn't have chicken rustlers." ;D Slim proceeds ta putting the "new" chickens in the coop.
is their any flied lice to go with roasted chickens feet and the kem chi ???
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on March 29, 2006, 09:11:41 AM
"Alright, I just had to make sure we didn't have chicken rustlers." ;D Slim proceeds ta putting the "new" chickens in the coop.
Versus "used" ones? ;D ;D
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on March 29, 2006, 06:15:44 AM
Ozark, ya did'nt need ta put them dogs in danger, tha last alligator that attacked Trinity got et. He made a pair a boots outta tha skin afterwards! ;D
"Yeah, see?" <<Shows off boots>> That'un thar is a tad on tha small side. Mebbe Ah could make one moccasin wif it."
Since the Kim-Chee went over so good, Delmonico goes down to the Dismal with a net and catches a bunch of creek chubs. After puttin' these is clay pots and buryin' them he looks at litl rooster and Sodbuster. "You fellas will have to help me with the name on this one, I can't 'member it." ;D ;D
Trinity suggests the name "Barf" as he reaches for a can of potted meat food product.
Good name, Trinity!
Quote from: Delmonico on March 29, 2006, 07:23:01 PM
Since the Kim-Chee went over so good, Delmonico goes down to the Dismal with a net and catches a bunch of creek chubs. After puttin' these is clay pots and buryin' them he looks at litl rooster and Sodbuster. "You fellas will have to help me with the name on this one, I can't 'member it." ;D ;D
I can't seem to recall anything with chubs or minnows & the clay pot. I am drawing a blank.
Quote from: Sod Buster on March 30, 2006, 12:39:44 AM
I can't seem to recall anything with chubs or minnows & the clay pot. I am drawing a blank.
Note> I can't remember name of it. Agee with Trinity though
Delmonico, don't take all the bait fishin' season is just around the corner.<<<<<Where did I put my flys?
Quote from: Trinity on March 29, 2006, 05:30:14 PM
Versus "used" ones? ;D ;D
Arther's note << "Come on down to Bob's used chicken emporium. We got roosters and hens of all ages colors and sizes. 0% financing for those who qualify. Remember, we will meet or beat any advertised price of our major competitors. We want to sell YOU a chicken.">>
Stoney (what's enjoyin this too much) Pete
Quote from: Trinity on March 29, 2006, 08:06:10 PM
Trinity suggests the name "Barf" as he reaches for a can of potted meat food product.
the author is REAL GLAD he did not have coffee in his mouth when he read this. Otherwise there'd be more than spittle on his confuser screen. ;D :D
Upon hearing Trinity's name suggestion, Stoney says, "I'll drink to that." Grabbing his knife he heads to the pig pen. An hour later there's one less pig in the pen and Pete has pork and bacon in the smoke house. "There gotta be something around here for us eat that smells good and resembles real meat."
thank you Stoney.... ;)
Quote from: Wymore Wrangler on March 30, 2006, 05:49:41 AM
thank you Stoney.... ;)
A "Here, here!" comes from the chicken coop. ;D ;D
Quote from: stoneypete on March 30, 2006, 05:07:42 AM
Arther's note << "Come on down to Bob's used chicken emporium. We got roosters and hens of all ages colors and sizes. 0% financing for those who qualify. Remember, we will meet or beat any advertised price of our major competitors. We want to sell YOU a chicken.">>
Stoney (what's enjoyin this too much) Pete
;D ;D ;D ;D
Slim goes into the barn to milch the cow.
I didn't know milch was a verb. But it is in Engrish - why not Germerman, too?
Slim, you got any of those brown cows that give chocolocolate milch? ::)
Brown Swiss. ;D ;D ;D ;D
Delmonico looks at Slim and says, "If ya make cheese from that milk it has holes in it." ::)
"And brown." :D :D :D :D
<Author's Note: Did ya know "Swiss Cheese" as most know it t'was invented in Wissy-consion in the 1860's? Switzerland has many cheeses, some with holes and some not, but they don't make "Swiss Cheese." ::)>
<Arthur's note: Probably invented by a Deutsch.> ;D ;D ;D ;D
Pleased with the sucess of his steam powered chicken plucker, Delmonico has another idea and heads to the barn workshop. ;D
"Stay away from my cow!" >:( >:( >:( >:(
"Don't want nuthin' to do with yer cow."
Delmonico starts up the forge. ::)
Delmonico hammers out a small slanted blade. When it is done he tempers it and sharpens it. ::) ???
Quote from: Delmonico on March 30, 2006, 02:47:53 PM
Pleased with the sucess of his steam powered chicken plucker, Delmonico has another idea and heads to the barn workshop. ;D
Back at his Soddy, Sod Buster dreams of a steam-powered corn shucker and a threashing machine for the winter wheat that will growing fast soon.
Delmonico goes out to the shed to get some wood. ;D
<Authors note: When it's corn pickin' time we'll get Slim to do it. Delmonico can hook a hose up to the coffee maker on his engine and we can scald Slim when he slows down. Would that count as a steam powered corn picker? ;D>
Delmonico makes a small wooden table about 24 inches by 18 inches. ???
Delmonico then takes an 8 ft 4X4 and cuts it in half. The two 4X4's are attached to two corners of the table, stickin' straight up and a cross piece is made for the top and braces to hold it upright.
Quote from: Delmonico on March 30, 2006, 03:20:48 PM
Delmonico goes out to the shed to get some wood. ;D
<Authors note: When it's corn pickin' time we'll get Slim to do it. Delmonico can hook a hose up to the coffee maker on his engine and we can scald Slim when he slows down. Would that count as a steam powered corn picker? ;D>
A shucker looks like this:
(http://web.ics.purdue.edu/~cpfitzer/Pages/Figure_Out/Chad_Pfitzer-CORN%20SHUCKER%20(2-26-2002).jpg)
(http://www.danripley.com/auction14images/2148t.jpg)
A hand husker looks like this:
(http://www.atticshoppe.com/images/tools/js15261500.jpg)
or how about a belt-driven model?
(http://www.oldengine.org/members/sbarr/images/Shows/2003DodgeCounty/77.JPG)
<Authors note: I have items 3 and 4. #4 I have two of them, remember we are the Cornhusker State. Disclaimer, t'ain't got nuthin' to do with the hired help at the Looney-versity that play foots-ball. Last I knew the world champion Cornhuskin' Comp-o-tit-ion was held in Newbrasky. Sodbuster ya fergot the wagon with a bang board. ;D>
Delmonico adds wooden tracks to the uprights on his contraption. ::) :o
<Authors Note: BTW watch out when feedin' a corn sheller, have met many an old farmer in my younger days that was missin' the first joint of their ring finger, includin' both of my Grandpa's.>
Delmonico gets two 1X2's and cuts matchin' half circles in each. He mounts one solid with the hole up and one movable with the the hole down and just behind the track. ::)
Delmonico then mounts the blade in the track with a trip rope. He then heads to the Dismal River and gathers up a handful of willow twigs. ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on March 30, 2006, 04:42:33 PM
<Authors Note: BTW watch out when feedin' a corn sheller, have met many an old farmer in my younger days that was missin' the first joint of their ring finger, includin' both of my Grandpa's.>
<Arthur's note: My Pa is missing the first joint of his index finger.>
< Authors Note:Was it a corn sheller? My Mom is missing that finger, but it was a machine in a candy factory.>
Delmonico comes back from the river with his willow twigs. He weaves them into a basket and sets it on the ground to catch the chicken heads from his Chicken Gilly-teen. ;D
Quote from: Steel Horse Bailey on March 30, 2006, 09:36:13 AM
I didn't know milch was a verb. But it is in Engrish - why not Germerman, too?
Slim, you got any of those brown cows that give chocolocolate milch? ::)
<<Arthurs note:
Milch is a noun,
melken is a verb. ;D>>
Quote from: Delmonico on March 30, 2006, 05:24:43 PM
< Authors Note:Was it a corn sheller? My Mom is missing that finger, but it was a machine in a candy factory.>
<Arthur's note: Corn chopper.>
Quote from: Trinity on March 30, 2006, 05:29:25 PM
<<Arthurs note: Milch is a noun, melken is a verb. ;D>>
<Arthur's note: I knew someone would eventually straighten me out. Thanks.> :D
Quote from: Sod Buster on March 30, 2006, 04:25:15 PM
A shucker looks like this: ...
A hand husker looks like this:
(http://www.atticshoppe.com/images/tools/js15261500.jpg)
or how about a belt-driven model? ...
"Oncet knowed a gurl what hadta wear one of them thangs if'n she were 'llowed ta see me!"
<<Arthurs note: In Del's world, a corn husker is the one on the right ;D ;D: (http://www.cascity.com/forumhall/index.php?action=dlattach;attach=1424;type=avatar)
Quote from: stoneypete on March 30, 2006, 05:13:48 AM
the author is REAL GLAD he did not have coffee in his mouth when he read this. Otherwise there'd be more than spittle on his confuser screen. ;D :D
Upon hearing Trinity's name suggestion, Stoney says, "I'll drink to that." Grabbing his knife he heads to the pig pen. An hour later there's one less pig in the pen and Pete has pork and bacon in the smoke house. "There gotta be something around here for us eat that smells good and resembles real meat."
"Yes!!! Thankee Stoney! Ah were gettin' tard of that there strange celestial cookin'!"
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on March 30, 2006, 05:39:01 PM
<Arthur's note: I knew someone would eventually straighten me out. Thanks.> :D
;D ;D ;D
As dusk falls on The Ranch with No Name, Delmonico goes to the kitchen to fix supper. Being tired of chicken and Chinese food, Delmonico fixes just plain sourdough biscuits and sausage gravy. ;D
As he's gettin' supper on the table he gets another chill in his spine. He goes to the Wedgewood room and gets his Pee Shooter and gets the sheepherder as he's peekin' in the window again. ;D ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on March 30, 2006, 04:38:06 PM
<Authors note: I have items 3 and 4. #4 I have two of them, remember we are the Cornhusker State. Disclaimer, t'ain't got nuthin' to do with the hired help at the Looney-versity that play foots-ball. Last I knew the world champion Cornhuskin' Comp-o-tit-ion was held in Newbrasky. Sodbuster ya fergot the wagon with a bang board. ;D>
Sod Buster knows we are in the Cornhusker state but if you are gonna send over Slim to do the shuckin' I wanna make sure he has the right tools! ;D ;D ;D
Yup..forgot the wagon. Slim kin bring dat too!
Ozark walks through the kitchen toward the back door, seeing Del cooking, he asks what is he going to do with the leftover chicken. Del gives it to Ozark for his Hunting tigers he keeps out beside the barn. Ozark asks Del if everybody is inside, he says oh yeah nobdy important out there, Ozark whistle's for the Tigers and they come running, You know Del the only thing they like better than chicken is sheep.
The horrible sound of death and carnage wakes Trinity.
*Sniff* *Sniff* Ignoring the growling and bleating from outside, Trinity calls out: "Is that biscuits 'n' gravy Ah smail??!??"
Witnessing the carnage of the tigers tearing up the sheep made Stoney hungry. The smell of the buscuits sealed the deal. He heads to kitchen with 10 lbs. of chops fresh from the smoke house.
"These ought to go nice with them buscuits."
Del, you can never have enough Chinaman food, and Stoney, I've got some spuds in my saddle bags, I'll go to peeling them for some mashed potatoes.... Del can go milk the cow for some milk, do you think we have to remind him, again, not to milk the bull... ::) ::)
"I ain't no Cornhusker. I'z a Badger." :D
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on March 31, 2006, 08:45:01 AM
"I ain't no Cornhusker. I'z a Badger." :D
That's better than being a Gopher ;D
Quote from: Sod Buster on March 31, 2006, 09:18:50 AM
That's better than being a Gopher ;D
That's fer sure. ::)
Quote from: Sod Buster on March 31, 2006, 09:18:50 AM
That's better than being a Gopher ;D
<<License to Kill Gophers!>>
(http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a153/stoneypete/caddy108.jpg)
Quote from: stoneypete on March 31, 2006, 09:37:55 AM
<<License to Kill Gophers!>>
<<Author's note: We were referring to the various University names:
University of Nebraska "Cornhuskers"
University of Wisconsin "Badgers"
Univeristy of Minnesota "Golden Gophers"
>>
Stoney's license might still apply to the person that came up with Golden Gophers! :o
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on March 31, 2006, 12:44:02 PM
Stoney's license might still apply to the person that came up with Golden Gophers! :o
I would agree! Here is one gopherhead that needs to be taken out!
(http://www.dustcatchers.com/foamheads/gophers.jpg)
Quote from: Delmonico on March 30, 2006, 07:02:26 PM
As dusk falls on The Ranch with No Name, Delmonico goes to the kitchen to fix supper. Being tired of chicken and Chinese food, Delmonico fixes just plain sourdough biscuits and sausage gravy. ;D
As he's gettin' supper on the table he gets another chill in his spine. He goes to the Wedgewood room and gets his Pee Shooter and gets the sheepherder as he's peekin' in the window again. ;D ;D
Don't know Who Ya got, Twasn't Me, Ah is down here in Arizona territory. Del never could see too good anyhow. ;D
Marshall gets telegram from the Bsaque Sheephearders--saying tigers were killing their sheep. :o
:D
Marshall says "Oh the Sheepmanity" >:(.
Marshall sadles up Da Sheep. Packs the 10ga, extra ammo, Kit, N a large Bear Trap. Gunna have to teach Ozark 'Bout Excruciating Pain. heh, Heh, HEH! :o :D
Marshal gets to Nebrasky, N sets trap in outhouse.
Ozark goe into the loue to relieve Hisself, N sitts on the concealed Bear Trap. :o
The Trap snaps shut on His Privets. YEOOWWWWWW! :o
Now You'll might think that this is Excruciating pain, but it's not, No Sir-- It's when He runs out of Chain. :o
Marcharshal Modifies Delmonico's poarch, Trinity steps out the board swings up, smacks Him on the back of Hiws head. Trinity stumbles foward N falls into the Horse trough, Marshal has filled it with Sheep Dip. :o ;D
Quote from: Marshal harpoluke on March 31, 2006, 04:14:15 PM
know Who Ya got, Me, Ah is down here UTAH
territory. Del could see too good anyhow. ;D
Marshall gets telegram from the Bsaque Sheephearders--saying tigers were killing their sheep. :o
authors note>>>>>>>>>>> at least we have that werkin for us ;D
litl rooster from hiding see the Utah Sheephearder up to is usual lurking and mischef...Fires a round from the long barrel gun and sends da sheep scurring off. The Marshall afoot behind it.
<Authors Note: I went down to "Who's Online" and the sheep herder was Viewin' Newbrassky thread. So not only is he a window peekin' sheep herder, he tells fibs. ;D>
<Nuther Note: He was watchin' the bear trap from the basement. :P>
Whew, that trap ain't much fun, now I gonna havta go into town and find that chinese fella that del gets the herbs from and see how to walk after that. I think his name is "one hung low"
Shortly after dark a large freight wagon shows up at The Ranch With No Name. Delmonico goes out and helps unload it into the storage shed and the barn workshop. ::)
Several barrels are among the items unloaded. :o
Ozark comes riding back from town after see'n the chinese fellur and getting some tea, some for drinking and some for rubbing on. When he gets to the ranch he finds Del in the barn and litl rooster at the house with his new rifle, he tells he a
he better watch out for that sheep gang that's lurking out there in the shadows.
Delmonico locks the storage shed and heads to the house. Last night he caught a stray lamb and butchered it and ground the meat and made a kind of meat loaf out of it. He now shaves a bunch off and heats it up.
Gettin' out some olive oil, flour water and bakin' powder he mixes up some dough aand heats a griddle up hot. Rollin' out dough about 1/8th inch thick he bakes them on the griddle and gets out some canned olives.
When supper is done he hollors, "Come get yer Gyro's" ::)
Trinity likes Gyros, but only with that tangy chees made from goat's milk. No olive, no cucumber sauce!
Looking back at the outhouse before going inside he wonders why anyone would use it seein' as how there's an Inhouse... which is usually without critters.
Inside, Trinity enjoys his gyros and then makes coffee for the group.
Durn sheep for dinner, guess I'm going to have to go rustle me a steer for dinner... ;D
Delmonico gets out the hog scaldin' pot and emptys one of the barrels into it and builds a small slow fire under it. ???
"Somebody check to see if that there keg says Campbell's Foodservice on tha side!"
Delmonico turns the barrel so Trinity can read, "Standard Oil Company of Penn-see-vain-yah" stenciled on the side.
<<This sounds like it could be going down the "Song of the South" road...>>
Delmonico wishpers to Trinity and the both get bags and start gatherin' up the wind blown chicken feathers that have formed drifts on the sides of the buildings. ;D
"Don't worry, if we don't have enough I can fire up the steam traction engine and set the chicken plucker back up. Slim brought us a fresh batch." ::)
Delmonico heads to the house singin':
Song, song of the south.
Sweet potato pie and I shut my mouth.
Gone, gone with the wind.
There ain't nobody looking back again.
Cotton on the roadside, cotton in the ditch.
We all picked the cotton but we never got rich.
Daddy was a veteran, a southern democrat.
They oughta get a rich man to vote like that.
Song, song of the south.
Sweet potato pie and I shut my mouth.
Gone, gone with the wind.
There ain't nobody looking back again.
Cotton on the roadside, cotton in the ditch.
We all picked the cotton but we never got rich.
Daddy was a veteran, a southern democrat.
They oughta get a rich man to vote like that.
Song, song of the south.
Sweet potato pie and I shut my mouth.
Gone, gone with the wind.
There ain't nobody looking back again.
Well somebody told us Wall Street fell
But we were so poor that we couldn't tell.
Cotton was short and the weeds were tall
But Mr. Roosevelt's a gonna save us all.
Well momma got sick and daddy got down.
The county got the farm and they moved to town.
Pappa got a job with the tva
He bought a washing machine and then a chevrolet.
Song, song of the south.
Sweet potato pie and I shut my mouth.
Gone, gone with the wind.
There ain't nobody looking back again.
Trinity tries to whistle along with the song as he gathers the feathers.
Gettin' to the kitchen, Delmonico decides that sweet tator pie is a good idea and bakes two of them. also the seines the dismal and gets some catfish to fry, finds enough turnips in the garden to make grens and bakes some corn bread. ;D
After washing up the dinner dishes, and having 2 slices of sweet tater pie, litl' rooster decides the Gyro meat was good. Then proceeds to go and make more orphan lambs so we will have fresh Gyro meat. Seeing Wymore on the trail rides up an introduce myself. Wymore sir there is no need to rustle beef in Newbrassky, we slaughter on regular basis, go to the Ice house and get what you need. Also let you know there is a bounty paid for each confirmed sheep kill.
With so many sheep kills, Trinity gets a bright idea and goes into the workshop. Several hours later he emerges with rugs for every room, including the kitchen (Most are single skins but the rug for the living room is wall to wall), several shearling coats for everyone to use use next winter, shearling vests for everyone's use now, gloves, hats, slippers, blankets, boot buffers to place at all the doors so that each Gent will have nice looking boots, rags with which to keep the FFG's surry polished, and beds for each of the dogs and the puppies.
Ozark having been down to town and stopped into the local saloon for just a shot of the cure comes into where Trinity is and asks, Trinity who is that new girl uptown, whos's got the new sheepskin coat, she said she's kinda sweet on an old boy out at the ranch with no name. she says he a fine fellar.
Trinity blushes and says: "Awww, that's Candi Caine. She's one of Mrs. Collingwoods waggon girls."
Delmonico looks out the kitchen window and nudges Trinity. Trinity runs out and grabs the widow peekin' sheepherder and Delmonico goes to the hog-scalder and grabs a buket of hot tar. He coats the sheepherder and they cover him with chicken feathers. ;D
Yeowe!., this tar is hot! :o
This is just one step too.. >:(
Sheep stampeeds Cattle herd through Ranch with no name, tears up every thing, then the Sheep heard follows n eats up everything. :o
Marshal retrets to Dynomite Chicken Ranch in Arizona territory. :D
Marshal recieves crate from Basque Sheepherders, has Tiger rug, n possables bags, saddle covers, and blankets.
Them Basque, don't say much, but they do get even. Thats wat Ya get bringin in them Furen kittys.
Marshall muses, Ah always wanted a Tiger Rug.
Delmonico cuts and pastes a frame and everything is fine on The Ranch with No Name, however in Airy-zona the sheepherder is pullin' tar and feathers off his skin, while the sheep laughs. ;D
<Authors Note: Even sheep have enough scruples not to be window peekin'.> ::)
To Delmonico: "Looks lahk we missed a sheep. What kin Ah make outta his hide?"
;D
Marshal kleens off tar with coal oil. ;D .,He's fine, Marshall N Da Sheep have a good laufgh. ;D
Time to put Da plan into action.
Marshall puts 'additive into Delminicos coffee, Dell drinks has the hebe jebies N heads fer the out house--Del sits on the 'throne' n proply falls in tail first, ( Marshall had modified the seat), Marshall had lined the pit with fresh 'Stining Nettles'. :o
Yeowwweee!, cries Del.! Jest then Da Sheep sets off Da Dynamite, n Blows up the Outhouse n the roof falls back on Dels head N whacks Him a good one. Ouch!
Dell falls back into the 'Stinging Nettles', Yeoweee!
Marshall grabs Dell by the scruff of the neck drags Him out to the Horse trough N throws Him in it.(He had priviously filled it with Sheep dip.).
Dunks Dell, Whacks Him overs the head with Marshals cast-iron gridle N Says" You involved with that no-good 'Sheep gang'? Don't know Who they is but they been doing a lot of bad things, n blaming on Me N Da Sheep.
Delmonico reads the sheepherders post and realizes he's havin' holly-loose-in-ate-eons again. The reason is back over 400 pages ago, Delmonico installed indoor plumbin' and most folks don't use the privy anymoore, but the Wedgewood Water Closet that matches the good china in the dining room. ;D
Also at this time of year in Newbrassky the stinging nettles ain't hardly up yet and won't sting fer another month or so, in fact right now they can be used as greens. :o
Also there is no horse trough on the rance, just a stock tank by the windmill. ;D
There is rumors that down airy-zona there is a cactus that the sheepherders sometimes eat that causes such holly-loose-in-ations. ;)
"Dontcha know? Sheepherders kain' read. :o"
While napping, Trinity has a dream and becomes hungry and his mouth begins to water. (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/drool.gif) He jolts awake, wipes the drool away and runs to the workshop where he worked yesterday making all of the sheepskin items for the ranch. A few minutes later he comes running back loaded down with intestines, trailing one intestine ten feet behind him.
"Dail! Dail! Kin ya make wiener sausages tonight!?!??"
litl' rooster, on his quest to up hold the laws of Newbrassky (and for personal satisfaction) ride up on a U with 3 lambs, dern critters breed like rats and smell worst. He eradicates the breeding stock, and hauls the lambs back for more Gyro Meat....<That's stuff is as addicting as the Holy Black powder this rifle is attended on shooting ;D
Back at the ranch I see some of the shearling pieces that Trinity has been working on. taking a small piece and clean and buff my saddle. >authors note, they work great on leather goods< 2nd note, when did Trinity get so ambisous?
litl rooster its them gals down there at miss collinwoods, done got him in dither, but they is awfully prutty,
they got a new little blonde pole dancer down there that's cute as can be.
"Yeah! Ever since they done put that pole up in tha waggon, Ah kain' stay away. In fact, tahm ta go agin! Anybody got any dollar bills? They tolt me Ah weren't 'llowed ta use coins no more cause their britches kep' slidin' down from the weight."
Weren't that the point Trinity?
Slim rides into the dooryard from the northeast.
Lucky for Slim, tha's the direction you need to come from so it don't hurt as bad when you bump your head. since Ozark coated it with some of the leftover tar from the other night.
Slim picks himself up outta the dirt and feels his forehead fer the knob. His hands sticks to his forehead. No matter what he does he can't get his hand loose from his head.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!
Slim runs around in circles.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!
Whoops, at least he didn't get a bump on his head, only a hand.
Irish runs out and pours some of Trinity's brew on Slim's forhead and his hand comes free!
Tom, I think ya saved his life, but that is gonna take that first layer of skin offen his face.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!! It burns!
Slim runs and jumps into the stock tank head first. :o :o :o
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on April 03, 2006, 05:04:20 AM
Weren't that the point Trinity?
"Ah din' mind none, ::) but Mrs. Collingwood tolt me not ta use them coins. An' what Mrs. Collingwood says, goes, lemme tell you!"
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on April 03, 2006, 03:45:52 PM
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!! It burns!
Slim runs and jumps into the stock tank head first. :o :o :o
"What's Sleeeum doin?? .... :o
WHAT? He's warshin' off recipe??!??!??" Trinity runs to the stock tank and pushes Slim aside and starts to drink. *SLURP* Coming up for air, he says: "Gotta get it afore its too dye-luted!" *SLURP* *SLURP* *SLURP*
litl rooster rides in and drops the lambs off at the cook wagon, sees Trinity at the Stock Tank shakes his head and rides off. ::) There's more orphan lambs or will be ::)
The pain on Slim's face subsides. He decides to go find his horse since the screamin' scared it away. ::)
Quote from: Delmonico on April 02, 2006, 04:15:47 PM
Delmonico reads the sheepherders post and realizes he's havin' holly-loose-in-ate-eons again. The reason is back over 400 pages ago, Delmonico installed indoor plumbin' and most folks don't use the privy anymoore, but the Wedgewood Water Closet that matches the good china in the dining room. ;D
Also at this time of year in Newbrassky the stinging nettles ain't hardly up yet and won't sting fer another month or so, in fact right now they can be used as greens. :o
Also there is no horse trough on the rance, just a stock tank by the windmill. ;D
There is rumors that down airy-zona there is a cactus that the sheepherders sometimes eat that causes such holly-loose-in-ations. ;)
;D
Del Youv'e been smoakin Da Wildwood Weed again, N its kinda hard to think clearly with a large knot on Yer Head. :o
Ah lossened the pipes in the water closet n flooded the wedgewood room, ::)
Marshalls get Paid ta peep. ;D
Marshal Who's still Glassing Ya. heh, Heh, HEH. ;D
P.S. The Nettles were Imported from Southern California, they are evergreen verity and are allways viable. Nice try Del.
Slim follows his horses tracks fer 3 miles until he catches up with it. He sees in the distance a lone rider leading several horses. He says to himself, "I think we should start an anti-horse thief association." ;)
Most likely a sheepherder.
Trinity takes his last slurp and is confident that all that remains is water and horse slobber and a few pieces of hay. "Whew! That shore was close!!"
Bambino storms into the kitchen and gruffly yells. "I done rustled up all the sheep from that crazy Utah Sheepherder. Put them in the pature next to litl rooster's cattle. Gotta go now and look for my brother! Lousy, good for nothing..."
As he is leaving, he stops at the barn again and takes all the horses.
Delmonico is in the kitchen makin' Weinerwurst out of the cleaned lamb intestines and one of Stoney's pigs. As he takes a rack of them to the smokehouse he see's Trinity's brother take off with all the horses. He shugs his shoulder and says, "Glad I ride a mule," when he sees Reuben still in his stall. ;D
Delmonico heads to the house and heads in, "The sheepherder is peekin' in the window again." ;D ;)
Asleep in his room with his window open, Trinity hears Delmonico talking to his mule. Instantly Trinity awakens and runs down into the the kitchen and shouts: "We gonna have Reuben sammiches fer dinner??!!??"
"Dail, Dail!! Tha Sheepherder is peekin' agin! He ain' doin' nothin... jus' lookin'!!!"
;D
That brother of Trinity is stealing the horses again. It's a good thing He don't cottin ta Sheep. :D
Course he don't hold His Rock Salt well either. :o ;D ;D ;D
Irish comes out on the porch, sees that the horses are gone again. He whistles, gets a cup of coffee, and sits down on the porch waiting for his Percherons to drag Bambino back to the Ranch With No Name.
When the horses come back Stoney puts them in the stall. "You'd think he'd learn don't ya Tom."
Stoney heads to the smoke house to get some bacon. Seeing the Weinerwurst he know whats for dinner. "At least it ain't no more of the Celestial cooking."
After cooking up some bacon, eggs and fresh coffee, Stoney heads out to the porch, assumes his usual position (his rocking chair) and proceeds to enjoy his meal. "There's plenty for anyone who wants some."
Slim rides into the dooryard. This time he ducks. ::) He puts his horse in the barn. He gathers eggs and milch. He takes his warbags, "Mighty Ten", eggs, and milch to the house. "Morning Tom, Stoney."
"Howdy Slim. I hope your horse is well trained. Bambino's been takin 'em again."
"That must've been the horse thief I saw earlier. My horse can smell a horse thief a mile away. He don't like 'em and has a "special" present fer 'em." ;D ;D ;D ;D
Mornin Slim
I taught mine to come on my whistle, Bambino keeps stealin em, an I keep whistlin an they drag im back here, he doesn't seem to learn. Trinity is a little slow sometimes an he says Bambino is his brother so maybe its a family trait! ;D
"Wouldn't doubt it's a family trait. I'z gonna put this stuff away, grab some coffee, and come back to sit with y'all and jaw some." Slim puts the eggs, milch, and Wiscoooooooooooonsin cheese in the icebox. He puts the "Mighty Ten" by the front door, goes to his room and put the warbags away. As he comes outta his room, he looks at the stairs leading to the cupola and a tear falls from his cheek. :'( He whispers, "I miss ya, FFg." He goes back to the kitchen, pours a cup of coffee, and joins the pards on the porch.
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on April 05, 2006, 11:41:16 AM
"Wouldn't doubt it's a family trait. I'z gonna put this stuff away, grab some coffee, and come back to sit with y'all and jaw some." Slim puts the eggs, milch, and Wiscoooooooooooonsin cheese in the icebox. He puts the "Mighty Ten" by the front door, goes to his room and put the warbags away. As he comes outta his room, he looks at the stairs leading to the cupola and a tear falls from his cheek. :'( He whispers, "I miss ya, FFg." He goes back to the kitchen, pours a cup of coffee, and joins the pards on the porch.
:(
Sheep n Marshal remember FFg.
author's note> litl' rooster does not like walking that's why the good lord give him a horse. He don't like horse thieves either so stays a saddle for several days. He only tolerates Trinity's brother, cause he rounded up them stinking "woolies"<
Rounding up the unbranded orphan lambs to be sent to slaughter is a breeze, now that they is orphans, litl rooster rides back towards the Ranch With No Name. Following a string of ponies being led by Lucky Irish Tom's horse. Off towards the barn he see's the Utah Sheephearder and da Sheep lurking and lobs a round from the long barreled rifle at them. da Sheep scurries off again the
herder waddles behind..........
At the house the others sit drinking coffee and eating and reminising ffg,'Evening fella's any leftovers in the kitchen?" 'I see the horses made it back"
Bambino listens from the edge of the farmyard to the ramblings of the sheepherder and groans under his breath "Fellow doesn't even know his ranch in Utah's been cleared out!"
Heading up to the porch, he chuckles as all of the inhabitants start to rise with shocked looks on their faces and then seeing Bambino's size they sit back down. Lucky Irish Tom is still standing when Bambino reaches him. He whaps him on the top of the head, knocking him out. Then goes back down to the horses, ripping two handfuls of wool directly from Da Sheep as he passes. He turns around and whaps Marshal Harp on the head also. Returning to the horses, he shoves the wool in the Percherons' ears he starts out again.
The other fellows on the porch stand watching open mouthed. ;D
;D ;D ;D
What Bambino dosn't know Mashal has a hard head, ie no effect. Marshall grabs the Mighty 10 N shoots Bambino in the Buttocks with the Rock Salt. ::) Bambino spins around N Marshal shoots Him again in cotch. :o
Marshal pulls wool out of horses ears n puts it back on Da Sheep. Sheep walks over N dumps on Bambino.
Bambino dosn't know the Utah Sheep belong to the Basque, they don't cottin to thieves n maraders--somehow those who do these things wind up with their throgts slit. :o
They know Who Ya is N where Ya live. Be Afraid, very afraid--their patient, N they never give up. :o
that goes fer You too Rooster, as marshal shoots Him in privets w/da rocksalt. ;D
;D ;D
"Hey Tom, what is it with this dillusional horse theif that makes him think we're scared? Don't he know the only reason he's still breathing is he' Trinity's brother? Don't care who he's related to anymore, I've killed better men for less. If he takes my horse again I will shoot him, only I don't carry any rocksalt loads in my scattergun." >:(
Slim tosses a coupla shells ta Stoney. "These are better than rock salt. Jelly beans!" ;D ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on April 06, 2006, 11:42:56 AM
Slim tosses a coupla shells ta Stoney. "These are better than rock salt. Jelly beans!" ;D ;D ;D ;D
Got any of those in 10ga.? Maybe can sweetin up this mob. ;D
8)
"Nope, only 12 ga."
Quote from: Marshal harpoluke on April 05, 2006, 09:19:41 PM
;D ;D ;D
What Bambino dosn't know Mashal has a hard head, ie no effect. Marshall grabs the Mighty 10 N shoots Bambino in the Buttocks with the Rock Salt. ::) Bambino spins around N Marshal shoots Him again in cotch. :o
Marshal pulls wool out of horses ears n puts it back on Da Sheep. Sheep walks over N dumps on Bambino.
Bambino dosn't know the Utah Sheep belong to the Basque, they don't cottin to thieves n maraders--somehow those who do these things wind up with their throgts slit. :o
They know Who Ya is N where Ya live. Be Afraid, very afraid--their patient, N they never give up. :o
that goes fer You too Rooster, as marshal shoots Him in privets w/da rocksalt. ;D
;D ;D
The rock salt bounces off of Bambino's hide and he doesn't turn around. If he had a "cotch" it might hurt, but since he doesn't he's not worried about it.
The Utah Sheepherder is delusional after his jolt. He lies on the ground writhing.
Agur Gizonak! Bambino shouts to the basque farmers as he leaves. They laugh at the crazy Utah Sheepherder and shout back"Agur!"
Trinity walks out on the porch and sees Bambino riding off with the horses. "Was that mah brother? Whar's he takin' them horses?"
Trinity calls Slim over and sends him after Bambino, now that he's the official head of the Anti-Horse-Thief Association. Laughing: "That brother of mine is always up ta somethin'!"
Quote from: Bambino on April 06, 2006, 06:10:22 PM
The rock salt bounces off of Bambino's hide and he doesn't turn around. If he had a "cotch" it might hurt, but since he doesn't he's not worried about it.
The Utah Sheepherder is delusional after his jolt. He lies on the ground writhing.
Agur Gizonak! Bambino shouts to the basque farmers as he leaves. They laugh at the crazy Utah Sheepherder and shout back"Agur!"
Marshal Who dosn't speak 'whatever' throws feed sack over Bambinos head N whacks Him with 'le Pong' Marshall cast iron griddle. :o Bambino go down for the count. Ah ain't from Utah--You little baby N nobody steals Ma Sheep. Reloads 10ga with #00buck. Ah don't care Who's brother He is If 'in He tries to Steal Ma Sheep, He's going down. >:(
Stoney Ah'll load up some jellibeans in da 10ga. it holds about twice the charge. heh,Heh, HEH! ;D ;D ;D
Marshall's note Little baby is the delusional one 10ga 4&1/2dram/w rocksalt will penitrate over an inch of pine board. :D ;D :o
Trinity watches from the porch as the Utah Sheepherder is walking around in circles talking to himself.
"Ol' Bambino musta swatted him right good. Poor feller, Ah wonder if'n Ah orta go see if'n Ah kin snap him outta it. Purty soon, tha wolves are gonna come an' recognize that the Sheepherder ain' himse'f an' start feedin' offa him. That won' be a purty sight, no sir!
"What's he talkin' 'bout not takin' his sheep?" <<looking at the pile of sheep hides that Bambino brought the other day>> "Looks lahk he done kilt 'em all! Ah, ain' that Da Sheep he's wearin' on his shoulders? Ah'll have ta ask him when Slim brangs him in..."
<<Going back into kitchen>> "Dail, tha Sheepherder done gone crazy... what's fer dinner?"
Quote from: Trinity on April 06, 2006, 09:13:09 PM
Trinity watches from the porch as the Utah Sheepherder is walking around in circles talking to himself.
<<Going back into kitchen>> "Dail, tha Sheepherder done gone crazy... what's fer dinner?"
Trinity, Utah sheephearder always talks to hisself.........and has been crazy since he got here.
Slim, I set a trap fer the Bigger brother of Trinity, one that his genetic background cain't pass up....We be gittin' the horses back soon.
"In that case, Litl Rooster, I'm gonna make some oyster stew fer loooonch." Slim goes into the kitchen. He peels and slices some tators and gets 'em ta boiling. He opens a couple air-tights of oysters and pours 'em in a kettle with milch. He put a pound of butter in the kettle and sets it on the stove. When the tators are done, he drains the water and put 'em in the kettle. In a half hour, the stew is hot. He gets out bowls, fills 'em with stew, and sets 'em around the table along the spoons. "The stew is hot! Come and get it 'fore I throw it out!"
Delmonico goes to the cellar and gets a bunch of the lemons he has in brine to pre-serve them. He puts them in fresh water to remove the salt afore he makes lemonade. ;D
Delmonico heads to the ice house for some ice fer the lemonade, he's back in a little bit with just one tiny piece, "Slim, ya fergot to go to the lake last January and cut ice to put in the icehouse. Now what are we going to do all summer?" :o
"We'll just have it delivered from the ice factory." ;D
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on April 07, 2006, 11:29:49 AM
"We'll just have it delivered from the ice factory." ;D
Marshall Telegraphs Chicago Ice factory, shipped by Rail, delivered and put in Ice House.
;D
Delmonico says, "Well, that will work for now, but I was going to order an ice factory to add to the collection here on the ranch. We've already got a steam engine to run the amoe-knee-a pump."
Delmonico gets his shotgun and hollors to Duke, "Lets go get a few of those Snow Geese, out on the lakes afore they head on north Duke." ;D
Duke wags his tail, the hitch up the buggy to the mules and head out to a lake south of the ranch. ::) ;)
Delmonico and Duke get near the lake and he unhitches the mules and hopples them to let them graze. He and the Yaller Dog go down in the grass and cattails near the lake and hide, waitin' for the geese to get done with their mornin' feedin' and come back to the lake to rest. ;)
Delmonico sees some clouds off to the south-west and makes a note to keep an eye on the weather as the first geese start to show up. ::)
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on April 07, 2006, 09:16:42 AM
"In that case, Litl Rooster, I'm gonna make some oyster stew fer loooonch." Slim goes into the kitchen. He peels and slices some tators and gets 'em ta boiling. He opens a couple air-tights of oysters and pours 'em in a kettle with milch. He put a pound of butter in the kettle and sets it on the stove. When the tators are done, he drains the water and put 'em in the kettle. In a half hour, the stew is hot. He gets out bowls, fills 'em with stew, and sets 'em around the table along the spoons. "The stew is hot! Come and get it 'fore I throw it out!"
Meanwhile back at the Soddy, Sod Buster is still trying to use up all of the corn from last year's harvest. It is corn for Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner, and Dessert. Sod Buster even has a corncpb pipe to smoke with at the end of the day. Sod Buster is getting sick of corn......
Oh....planting season starts around the first week of May. The soil should be warm enough then.....for more corn........ <sigh>
As Delmonico and Duke keep pilin' up the geese, it's starts to thunder off to the South-West. :o
But the geese keep flyin' in and Duke and Delmonico are havin' too much fun to stop. ;D
And to drink....it is more corn.
A new supply of TISWIN is ready. I wonder if Triniy would like to come over and join me?? <hic>
To busy shootin' geese to notice the sheep herder peekin' in, Delmonico is too busy to notice a thin black lookin' finger of a cloud drop down to earth south-west of him. :o
Between the noise of the geese, the shotgun and a happy excited dog, Delmonico dosen't hear the roarin' that sounds like a freight train till it is too late and Duke and him are picked up and carried skyward. :o :o :o :o ;D
arthers note << It's a tornado. :o At least it ain't blue plates.>>
Quote from: Delmonico on April 07, 2006, 02:06:21 PM
To busy shootin' geese to notice the sheep herder peekin' in, Delmonico is too busy to notice a thin black lookin' finger of a cloud drop down to earth south-west of him. :o
Between the noise of the geese, the shotgun and a happy excited dog, Delmonico dosen't hear the roarin' that sounds like a freight train till it is too late and Duke and him are picked up and carried skyward. :o :o :o :o ;D
(http://www.weatherstock.com/T69.jpg)
After a while the tore-nader sets Delmonico and Duke down on the prairie, Delmonico looks at Duke and says, "It don't look like we're in Cans-sass Duke, but if we we're we'd have to start another thread." ;D
Delmonico and Duke start walkin' back to the ranch through the drifts of white goose feathers. ;D
Delmonico gets back to the ranch and combs his mussed up hair. ;D ::) He gets a couple large slices of ham and some of Slim's egs, or rather eggs from Slim's chickens and makes him and Duke breakfast. ;D
After several bowls of the fine Oyster stew, I decide to go check the trap I set. When leaving the houseDelmonico is approching. Hey, Del funny thing a little while back, I swore I seen you and yallar dog fly by here chasing geese. Must have been I ait too much.
Arriving at the area of the trap, down the trail along the Dismall. There lies the sleeping giant, the so called Brother of Trinity. The jars I filled from #9 empty along the way. He fianally passed out. Riding up to Mendicino and pulling the tufts of wool from his ears, I ride out from buckshot range and whistle. The big horse leads the rest back to the ranch. Smelling sheep off to the west, I decide to continue on, and finish the radication of the "woolies"
As Delmonico is finishin' breakfast, the two buggy mules come back to the barn wearin' ruby mule shoes. ::) Delmonico puts them in the stalls and saddles up Reuban, his ridin' mule and goes out to see about the buggy. :o
Trinity's super-sensitive-to-all-things-related-to-a-drink hearing picks up the pop of a cork from the direction of the Soddy. Trinity hitches up his buckboard in order to have an excuse and rides out over to the stranger in the soddy.
Arriving, he finds the stranger already inebriated,(http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/food/23.gif) sitting on a chair outside the door. "Howdy partner, Ah come fer some more corn. Mahnd if'n Ah... Uh, say, whatchagot in tha bottle?"
As Delmonico heads to look for the buggy he passes a band of Apaches lead by Geronimo headin' to Sod Buster's place after hearin' he has Tiswin. ;D
Delmonico gets back to where he left the buggy, it is not there. :o Followin' the flattened path in the grass, Delmonico finds bits and pieces of splintered wood. He goes back to the ranch fer a wagon. ;D ??? ;)
Gettin' back to the ranch, Delmonico gets his freight wagon and hitches the mules up to it. Duke jumps up in the seat beside him and they go out tot the lack and start pickin' up splinters of wood, pieces of metal and leather. ;D ;D
After several hours they can't find any more so the head back to the ranch. ;D
After breakfast Delmonico and Duke head to the workshop with a bucket of glue to see if the buggy can be fixed. ::)
Trinity picks himself up from the yard at the Soddy and looks around. When his vision finally clears he says to himself: "Whew! That Tiswin packs some kinda punch!"
"Now, jes what happened to that stranger?"
Ozark, out standing by the barn hears the sounds of a wagon rumbling up the road toward the ranch, as the wagon approaches the house it stops. a woman looks out and invites Ozark in. after a spell Ozark emerges and starts toward the house.
Trinity, they's a couple of women in mis collinwoods wagon asking about you, It's kinda strange, One of em keeps a singing the same song over and over,
What's your daddy's name child, what's your daddy's name.
I told em I didn't know if'n you still lived here.
Ozark walks back out to the shop to see how Del is coming along with the wagon fix.
after looking at the wagon Del has constructed, it is plain to see that Del has found the parts to more than just his wagon, he has brought home parts of several wagons.
and somehow put them together
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on April 09, 2006, 08:46:11 PM
Ozark, out standing by the barn hears the sounds of a wagon rumbling up the road toward the ranch, as the wagon approaches the house it stops. a woman looks out and invites Ozark in. after a spell Ozark emerges and starts toward the house.
Trinity, they's a couple of women in mis collinwoods wagon asking about you, It's kinda strange, One of em keeps a singing the same song over and over,
What's your daddy's name child, what's your daddy's name.
I told em I didn't know if'n you still lived here.
"Them waggon ladies know how ta reach me, if'n they need me. ;D ;D ;D Ah know that sangin' girl what yer talkin' bout. Somethin' jes ain' right wif that one! ::) Ah hope ya din' "visit" her, cuz Dail has a cure what you don' wanna hear about!! Luckily, tha river is startin' ta warm up. Ya might be a-standin' in it fer a whal"
It's done been a whal sincet Ah saw them waggon ladies las'. Ah need ta make a lil' ol' trip ta visit. ;D ;D ;D"
Give me a can of that potted meat what you got, Del said that stuff would kill anything.
Ozark runs to the bathroom and starts eating the potted meat and spreading the rest of it all over his body
"No wonder that sangin' girl lahked him. He's strange! ;D ;D" Trinity yells: "Hey, Ozark! If'n ya need more potted meat, Dail built a shaid outside outta potted meat cans that Ah give him. Ah took a few cans out some tahm ago an' made a little winder. Jes' make the winder bigger, Dail won' mahnd."
Laying in his hammock, Trinity begins to worry about litl rooster and the Stranger from the Soddy. He tells Claire: "They said they was gonna play wif black powder. Ah hope they din't blow nothin' of theirs off... leastwise nothin' that they might want ta use again. :o :o :o Reminds me of ol' cousin Stumpy. He were the only 6¾ foot tall feller in tha mountains called stumpy, poor feller. Won't no woman marry him neither :("
litl' rooster returns to his bomb shelter, feeds and curries his trusted horse, Pea-eye. After stowin' away some supplies,(powder, lead ingots and large brass casings) he fills the bay horses water bucket and gives him hay. Closing the entrance to the bomb shelter, he decides he should take a nap before he checks on the others at thee Ranch With No Name.
tally: Pasture maggots 0 lr 49,002
Quote from: litl rooster on April 10, 2006, 04:11:10 AM
litl' rooster returns to his bomb shelter, feeds and curries his trusted horse, Pea-eye. After stowin' away some supplies,(powder, lead ingots and large brass casings) he fills the bay horses water bucket and gives him hay. Closing the entrance to the bomb shelter, he decides he should take a nap before he checks on the others at thee Ranch With No Name.
;D :o
Lil Rooster didn't notice that Marshal n Da Sheep procieded Him, set the Plunger to da Dynomite to detonate when He closed the door. :o
Looks like the 4th of July. ;D ;D ;D
Hope LR remembered to number His fethers, heh Heh, HEH! :o
tally: Pasture maggots
500 lr
0
Sod Buster finally awakes from his Tiswin-Blackpowder induced comma and sees that his whole supply of Tiswin is gone..and his house has been ransacked. There are jugs scattered everywhere, He guesses both Trinity and Geronamo were there, drank thier fill, looked for more and left. After cleaning up, he decided he needs a vacation before planting season starts. Perhaps he might visit his cousin, the Faro dealer in the Nevada Territory soon. Time for breakfast....corn muffins and maybe some corn flake breakfast pie! ;D
Slim rides in from the northeast. He remembers ta duck when he reaches the dooryard. He puts his horse in the barn, gathers eggs and milch, and takes them along with his "Mighty Ten" and saddles bags to the house.
<Arthur's note: Went to a gun show in FDL on Saturday, a fellar showed me a mule-ear British 10 ga with bright bores/no pitting. Beautiful! He figgered I was in CAS 'cuz the way I was dressed. No I don't wear dresses! >:( >
<<Arthur's note: Shoulda showed him tha video ;D ;D>>
Delmonico steps back and looks at his buggy that has become a wagon, "Not bad, them white feathers add sumthin'. ";D
"If'n them feathers was pank, it'd look lahk Mrs. Collingwood's!" ;D ;D
<Authors Note: Pink Flamingeeeooos ain't common around Sandhills Lakes.>
"Them's feathers colored wif a dash of Big Lotta's face paint" ;D ;D
Trinity goes back into the workshop. It appears that litl rooster brought some more sheep to be processed. Running out of ideas, Trinity makes wall coverings for the House and the Bohunk House as well as the bunkhouse which he built even though it is still uninhabited.
With the last pile of pelts, he makes a cover for Del's steam traction engine. ::)
Delmonico has another idea, he grabs several hunks of cedar wood off the wood pile, grabs a can of pink paint and some small iron rods and heads to the work shop and starts carvin'. ::) ::) ;D ;)
When the pink flamingos are dryin, Delmonico moves the wagon out north of the house. He takes off the wheels and skirts the sides with corrigated tin. ;D He then puts the pink flamingos out front of it. ::)
As he steps back and admires his work he says, "Now that fella from Arkansaw will feel more at home." ::)
Trinity steps up and asks: "Whars tha sign what says 'If This Trailer's a-Rockin' Don' Come a-Knockin' ?"
wooee, we ain't got nothing this nice back home, them long legged pink pigeons is kinda purty. but we do need at least one wagon with the wheels and blocked up off for storage
and if'in we could find one of them store bought bath tubs, we could fill it with dirt and grow some maters
Trinity grunts and groans as he carries an old rusty stove back from the barn. "Here. Thought this would look good in fronta tha waggon. ;D ;D Oh, an' here's a couple tins of potted meat Ah took from tha shaid."
That outta look real good out ther, we gonna havta watch out for them tornados now for shure,
You know Trinity, this here idea of Del's a "trailer house" may catch on, I bet in the next 100-150 years they may be as many as 15 or 20 of these scattered around the country.
"Yeah, 'specially after a twister storm!" ;D ;D
litl' rooster on his quest of "vengence" rides by a arrow shaped sign on the trail....Reads: "Rooms to Let 50 cents"
A littlle further down the trail he sees another sign, "No Phone, No Pool, No Pets!"
litl rooster, then searches each of his pockets and discovers, " ain't got no cigarettes"
Slim shakes his head at the sight of the "trailer house" and the wooden pink birds.
(http://www.wisconsinhistory.org/museum/artifacts/archives/flamingo_1.jpg)
Yanno litl rooster, Two hours of pushin broom, might get ya a room! ;D
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on April 13, 2006, 11:01:44 AM
Yanno litl rooster, Two hours of pushin broom, might get ya a room! ;D
"Smokin' old stogies I have found,"
I'm too busy watchin "Buffalo roller skate" ;D
Cool pic Slim
Delmonico says, "ya mean, ya can't roller skate in a bufflo herd?;D Well dang, dang me, they ought ta take a rope and hang me." ::)
Quote from: Delmonico on April 13, 2006, 05:36:48 PM
Delmonico says, "ya mean, ya can't roller skate in a bufflo herd?;D Well dang, dang me, they ought ta take a rope and hang me." ::)
Yeah that's how it went ;D
Delmonico heads to the kitchen to make supper, singin'
Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
But you can be happy if you've a mind to
Ya can't take a shower in a parakeet cage
Ya can't take a shower in a parakeet cage
Ya can't take a shower in a parakeet cage
But you can be happy if you've a mind to
All ya gotta do is put your mind to it
Knuckle down, buckle down, do it, do it, do it
Well, ya can't go a-swimmin' in a baseball pool
Ya can't go swimmin' in a baseball pool
Ya can't go swimmin' in a baseball pool
But you can be happy if you've a mind to
Ya can't change film with a kid on your back
Ya can't change film with a kid on your back
Ya can't change film with a kid on your back
But you can be happy if you've a mind to
Ya can't drive around with a tiger in your car
Ya can't drive around with a tiger in your car
Ya can't drive around with a tiger in your car
But you can be happy if you've a mind to
All ya gotta do is put your mind to it
Knuckle down, buckle down do it, do it, do it
Well, ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
But you can be happy if you've a mind to
Ya can't go fishin' in a watermelon patch
Ya can't go fishin' in a watermelon patch
Ya can't go fishin' in a watermelon patch
But you can be happy if you've a mind to
Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
SPOKEN: "Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd"
FADE
Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
;D ::) ;)
"Who's that feller yonder sangin 'bout buffler chips? He keeps sayin' that he's tha king of the road. Has he been drankin' tha stranger's Tiswin!?"
Chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug
Make you want to holler hi-de-ho
Burns your tummy, don'tcha know
Chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug
Grape wine in a Mason jar
Homemade and brought to school
By a friend of mine 'n' after class
Me and him and this other fool decide that we'll drink up what's left
Chug-a-lug, so we helped ourself
First time for everything
Mm, my ears still ring
Chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug
Make you want to holler hi-de-ho
Burns your tummy, don'tcha know
Chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug
4-H and FFA on a field trip to the farm
Me 'n' a friend sneak off behind
This big old barn where we uncovered a covered-up moonshine still
And we thought we'd drink our fill
And I swallered it with a smile
*Bllll-bbbb*, I run ten mile
Chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug
Make you want to holler hi-de-ho
Burns your tummy, don'tcha know
Chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug
Jukebox 'n' sawdust floor
Sumpin' like I ain't never seen
And I'm just going on fifteen
But with the help of my finaglin' uncle I get snuck in
For my first taste of sin.
I said "Lemme have a big old sip"
*Bllll-bbbb*, I done a double back flip
Chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug
Make you want to holler hi-de-ho
Burns your tummy, don'tcha know
Chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug
Sitting in on the steps of the trailer house, the newcomer sings:
Well, I aint never travelled much
But someday when the money's such
I'd like to see the world and all
And maybe go through Arkansas
Arkansas, Arkansas
I sure love old Arkansas
Love my ma, love my pa
But I just love ole Arkansas
I'd like to get my picture took
Put it in my memory book
And someday hang it on my wall
To say that I'd seen Arkansas
Arkansas, Arkansas
I sure love old Arkansas
Love my ma, love my pa
But I just love ole Arkansas
My grandpa was always good
I'd play horsey on his foot
He'd tell me when I'd get tall
We'd both go see Arkansas
Arkansas, Arkansas
I sure love old Arkansas
Love my ma, love my pa
But I just love ole Arkansas
Arkansas, Arkansas
I sure love old Arkansas
Love my ma, love my pa
But I just love ole Arkansas
thatin makes me cry,
homesick to see my favorite razorback hog
well dang me, dang me, they ought'a take a rope and hang me.
Quote from: Delmonico on April 13, 2006, 07:42:15 PM
Chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug
Make you want to holler hi-de-ho
Burns your tummy, don'tcha know
Chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug
Author's note: Trinity has been teachin' Del drinkin' songs again!
*Hic* ?
authors note< Ironicly, yesterday was the anniversary of Roger Miller winning 5 Grammies( a record it's self) for those songs.
He won 5 Grammies cause Trinity and Del wasn't singin em! ;D
Back in the ancient times when I was in HIgh School (1968) our principal played music over the intercom during breaks, at noon and before and after school. He had grown up knowing Roger Miller and the principale's 1st cousin was Hoyt Axton, I think he had all their hits at tht time and we listened every day.
know all of them by heart.
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on April 14, 2006, 07:47:56 AM
He won 5 Grammies cause Trinity and Del wasn't singin em! ;D
" >:( Dail, ya got any more of that rope? Ah got me a new use fer it."
;D
"Don't know 'bout Del, but I gots a hundurt foot of new rope." ;D
"Good! That'll be plenty ta do what needs ta be done ::) ... an' make some beer an' spaycial ceegars tooo!" ;D ;D ;D ;D
;D
They call it that old mountain dew, N them's that refuse it are few, mighty few,
I'll hush up my mug, it Ya fill up Ma jug, wit that good oll mountain dew. ;D
Easter is comin'.
What's for dinner??
LAMB!
(http://www.manxscenes.com/Feb%2004/9.jpg)
Sod Buster loads up his rifle and goes to get one.
After a short walk, he comes upon his prey:
(http://www.mauromedia.com/Mauro_New/images/stock/stock-samples/sheep-hearder-350.gif)
Thru town and seen the sign in the winda, Say's Mint Jelly fer Sale...........Good on lamb and hides the smell of Sheep
<-------Buy's a jar of the mint exilier and a case of shells and heads out to meet the stranger that lives in the Soddy. There's more Sheep that need kilt.
Delmonico is in the kitchen again, singin' and cookin' supper.
See the rain comin' down and the roof won't hold 'er
Lost my job and I feel a little older
Car won't run and our love's grown colder
But maybe things'll get a little better, in the mornin'
Maybe things'll get a little better.
Oh! the clothes need washin' and the fire won't start
Kids all cryin' and you're breakin' my heart
Whole darn place is fallin' apart
Maybe things'll get a little better, in the mornin'
Maybe things'll get a little better.
Work your fingers to the bone - whadda ya get?
( Whoo-whoo ) Boney Fingers - Boney Fing-gers.
Yea! I've been broke as long as I remember
Get a little money and I gotta run and spend 'er
When I try to save it, pretty woman come and take it
Sayin' maybe things'll get a little better, in the mornin'
Maybe things'll get a little better.
Work your fingers to the bone - whadda ya get?
( Whoo-whoo ) Boney Fingers - Boney Fing-gers
Yea! the grass won't grow and the sun's too hot
The whole darn world is goin' to pot
Might as well like it 'cause you're all that I've got
But, maybe things'll get a little better, in the mornin'
Maybe things'll get a little better.
Work your fingers to the bone - whadda ya get?
( Whoo-whoo ) Boney Fingers - Boney Fing-gers
Sod Buster harvests enough to share with the Ranch with No Name:
(http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/1230000/images/_1230312_sheepap300.jpg)
He loads up his wagon and heads towards the ranch to share the bounty.
Delmonico looks at the load of sheep and starts plantin' the corn, three kernels and one dead sheep per hill. ;D
litl' rooster heads back to town fer or Mint Jelly
Delmonico decides that he needs to check the herbs fer cookin' lamb. He checks the cupboard and has the right ones.
Are you going to Scarborough Fair?
Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme
Remember me to one who lives there
She once was a true love of mine
Tell her to make me a cambric shirt
(On the side of a hill in the deep forest green)
Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme
(Tracing a sparrow on snow-crested ground)
Without no seams nor needlework
(Blankets and bedclothes the child of the mountain)
Then she'll be a true love of mine
(Sleeps unaware of the clarion call)
Tell her to find me an acre of land
(On the side of a hill, a sprinkling of leaves)
Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme
(Washes the ground with so many tears)
Between the salt water and the sea strand
(A soldier cleans and polishes a gun)
Then she'll be a true love of mine
Tell her to reap it in a sickle of leather
(War bellows, blazing in scarlet battalions)
Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme
(Generals order their soldiers to kill)
And to gather it all in a bunch of heather
(And to fight for a cause they've long ago forgotten)
Then she'll be a true love of mine
Are you going to Scarborough Fair?
Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme
Remember me to one who lives there
She once was a true love of mine
;D ::) ;)
Delmonico hollors, "The sheepherder is back! Get ready for another of his cock-a-mamy excuses fer being a sheepherder and tryin' to get the sympathy of our readers. But our readers know better than to believe a sheepherder." ;D ;D
Don't why he'd want to herd sheep, they don't live very long around here. Must be too much lead in the water ;D ;D ;D
Ya know whats slower than mollasses in January?
A sheep herder tryin' to type a good comeback. ;D
Quote from: litl rooster on April 14, 2006, 03:40:20 PM
Thru town and seen the sign in the winda, Say's Mint Jelly fer Sale...........Good on lamb and hides the smell of Sheep
<-------Buy's a jar of the mint exilier and a case of shells and heads out to meet the stranger that lives in the Soddy. There's more Sheep that need kilt.
:o
>:(
Before creation, before the world began; From Earth's foundation, Y'shua The Lamb. (words & music by Jonathan Sacs and Marie Amanda) JFJ 1994
All were transgressors, among the children of man; One Intercessor,---- Y'shua The Lamb.
He came here for us,--Put on the form of a man.--,became Sin for us,--- Y'shua The Lamb.
Now every Nation can see and understand, He is Salvation,--- Y'shua The Lamb.
(Chorus)
Oh Y'shua I love you worship ou and Adore You, Bruised for iniquiti, by Your stripes Stripes I am free.---I love You-----Y'shua, ---I love You, Yeshua The Lamb.
(bridge)
The stripes upon Your back, the nail prints in Your hands, the final sacrifice of The Lamb.
Chorus repeats--to end
We serve the Lion of the Tribe of Juda, Who is the Good Shepard, The Honcho, DA Big Boss, A Sheep and Sheephearder, and Yes A Perfect Spotless Lamb.
I Who love to heard Cattle am not about to diss, or anihilate The Big Trailboss's Creation. :'(
The Tomb is empty, ;D
Y'shua--Jusus,
Thank You For The Lamb. :'(
Quote from: Delmonico on April 14, 2006, 07:54:36 PM
Ya know whats slower than mollasses in January?
A sheep herder tryin' to type a good comeback. ;D
reachin fer the Paper Towels ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Sod Buster on April 14, 2006, 03:32:10 PM
Easter is comin'.
What's for dinner??
LAMB!
(http://www.manxscenes.com/Feb%2004/9.jpg)
Sod Buster loads up his rifle and goes to get one.
"Awwwwww, how cute! Ah want the laigs! ;D ;D ;D"
Quote from: Sod Buster on April 14, 2006, 03:36:12 PM
After a short walk, he comes upon his prey:
(http://www.mauromedia.com/Mauro_New/images/stock/stock-samples/sheep-hearder-350.gif)
"That there feller what looks lahk he's got fake eye brows is one of them Basque ranchers the Sheep Marshal keeps talkin' about. Ya kin recognize them by their black berets and big noses. ;D
"We know the talk about them bein' frien's with tha Sheep Marshal is only talk 'cause when mah brother spoke Basque ta them tha Sheep Marshal thought it were gibberish. ;D ;D ;D
"Speakin' of mah brother, Ah wonner whar he is. Ain' seen him since Slim was 'pposed ta go after him fer takin' tha horses"
Quote from: litl rooster on April 14, 2006, 08:00:44 PM
reachin fer the Paper Towels ;D ;D ;D
Pass 'em over here when you're done! ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on April 14, 2006, 07:54:36 PM
Ya know whats slower than mollasses in January?
A sheep herder tryin' to type a good comeback. ;D
"Them feller's gotta first read the messages to type a comeback too. That's even slower!" ;D ;D
Quote from: Trinity on April 14, 2006, 08:49:12 PM
"Speakin' of mah brother, Ah wonner whar he is. Ain' seen him since Slim was 'pposed ta go after him fer takin' tha horses"
I heard tell he might be hidin' out in town passin' himself off as the Marshall. Word is he is waiting on his gang to join him so they can go after some horses.
Quote from: Sod Buster on April 14, 2006, 06:14:48 PM
Sod Buster harvests enough to share with the Ranch with No Name:
(http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/1230000/images/_1230312_sheepap300.jpg)
He loads up his wagon and heads towards the ranch to share the bounty.
Trinity looks at the waggon as the Stranger drives it into the ranchyard and breathes a sigh of desperation.
Quote from: Trinity on April 14, 2006, 08:54:28 PM
Trinity looks at the waggon as the Stranger drives it into the ranchyard and breathes a sigh of desperation.
Sod Buster waves at Trinity and announces that he has created a new "drink" to celebrate the sheep harvest. It is called the WARM WOLLY SHEEP and is made from Drambuie, Scotch Whiskey, and Warm milk.
Wanna try some?
Quote from: Trinity on April 14, 2006, 08:49:12 PM
"Awwwwww, how cute! Ah want the laigs! ;D ;D ;D"
"That there feller what looks lahk he's got fake eye brows is one of them Basque ranchers the Sheep Marshal keeps talkin' about. Ya kin recognize them by their black berets and big noses. ;D
"We know the talk about them bein' frien's with tha Sheep Marshal is only talk 'cause when mah brother spoke Basque ta them tha Sheep Marshal thought it were gibberish. ;D ;D ;D
;D
Don't speak Basque, Speak Hebrew.
Hag Sameach Shell Pesach.
or Good Yom Tov.
Quote from: Sod Buster on April 14, 2006, 09:04:33 PM
Sod Buster waves at Trinity and announces that he has created a new "drink" to celebrate the sheep harvest. It is called the WARM WOLLY SHEEP and is made from Drambuie, Scotch Whiskey, and Warm milk.
Wanna try some?
"Jes leave out the fancy stuff an pass the Scottish on over! ;D ;D ;D
Hey, how many pelts do ya have thar. Ah was thankin' of makin' en-tire outfits fer the fellers, not jus' coats, but sherpa shirts an' trousers too. Whatcha thank?
Quote from: Sod Buster on April 14, 2006, 08:52:36 PM
I heard tell he might be hidin' out in town passin' himself off as the Marshall. Word is he is waiting on his gang to join him so they can go after some horses.
"That soun's familliar. He keeps doin' that. Ah'll bet there's a corrupt town boss that doesn't want him there either. Ah might have ta go help!"
Quote from: Marshal harpoluke on April 14, 2006, 09:07:11 PM
Don't speak Basque, Speak Hebrew.
Hag Sameach Shell Pesach.
or Good Yom Tov.
"Uuuuuh, Good Yom Tov ta you too. Thanky, Ah thank"
Quote from: Trinity on April 14, 2006, 09:16:43 PM
"Jes leave out the fancy stuff an pass the Scottish on over! ;D ;D ;D
Sod Buster takes a swig from the bottle, smiles and hands over the Scotch bottle to Trinity. "Keep it. Happy Easter, pard!"
QuoteHey, how many pelts do ya have thar. Ah was thankin' of makin' en-tire outfits fer the fellers, not jus' coats, but sherpa shirts an' trousers too. Whatcha thank?
"Keep all that you want. I ain't got much use for 'em. "
Quote from: Sod Buster on April 14, 2006, 09:26:53 PM
Sod Buster takes a swig from the bottle, smiles and hands over the Scotch bottle to Trinity. "Keep it. Happy Easter, pard!"
"Keep all that you want. I ain't got much use for 'em. "
"Thanks!" Trinity takes the bottle and tilts his head back and pours. *Hic* *Burrrrrrp* Good stuff!"
Delmonico is fixin' breakfast in the kitchen, good pork ham, eggs and sourdough pankakes. He warns the others, "That sheepherder is also some sort of Sky-Pilot, next thing ya know he's gonna be havin' a revival and be wanted ta dunk folks out in one a dem alkali lakes, like the last one that was around. Ya know, that one that run off with that homesteaders wife down on the South Loup." >:(
Quote from: Delmonico on April 15, 2006, 10:11:33 AM
Delmonico is fixin' breakfast in the kitchen, good pork ham, eggs and sourdough pankakes. He warns the others, "That sheepherder is also some sort of Sky-Pilot, next thing ya know he's gonna be havin' a revival and be wanted ta dunk folks out in one a dem alkali lakes, like the last one that was around. Ya know, that one that run off with that homesteaders wife down on the South Loup." >:(
:D
'Sky-Pilot', thats a term I haven't heard since the Viet-Nam erea. The way Ya can decern the real, sheapards from da wolves is do they protect and nurture the flock or herd.
A real Sky-Pilot would not run off with anouther man's wife--sounds like Ya got some wolf trouble. >:(
Circut preacher, well, its a tough job, somebody's gotta do it. ;D
Delmonico don't trust no Skypilot that tries to convince ya that he can be trusted. ;D He has found out that that the majority can't be trusted and the ones that act like they can be, can't be at all. :o
He grabs the extra mighty 10 and rock salts his hindside. ;D ;D ;D :D :D :D :D :D :D
Tain't nuthin' but old cold taters and chicken necks and backs at his table fer a wonderin' Sky Pilot. :D :D :D :D
Quote from: Delmonico on April 15, 2006, 01:47:05 PM
Delmonico don't trust no Skypilot that tries to convince ya that he can be trusted. ;D He has found out that that the majority can't be trusted and the ones that act like they can be, can't be at all. :o
He grabs the extra mighty 10 and rock salts his hindside. ;D ;D ;D :D :D :D :D :D :D
Tain't nuthin' but old cold taters and chicken necks and backs at his table fer a wonderin' Sky Pilot. :D :D :D :D
;D :D ;D
Didn't ask Ya to trust me, Ask Ya to trust God. No man is good save One--The One. ;D :D ;D
Marshal Who turns cheek. ;D ;D ;D
Rebuk's Del by shooting Del in Da privets w Marshal 's 10ga loaded W/ Da Rock Salt. ;D :o ;D
Delmonico says, "If ya got ta brag about it ya ain't confident that ya have it, folks can tell with out ya tellin." :P
add 10 gauge here, (__________________________)
Quote from: Delmonico on April 15, 2006, 02:48:59 PM
Delmonico says, "If ya got ta brag about it ya ain't confident that ya have it, folks can tell with out ya tellin." :P
:(
Usually the thing that a person complains about the most is fault that person suffers from the most. :P
Add dynomite. ;D :P And a look at me, I done got the religion. ::)
Quote from: Delmonico on April 15, 2006, 04:37:27 PM
Add dynomite. ;D :P And a look at me, I done got the religion. ::)
Well Excuse Me, Nobody's forcing Ya. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Bambino rides in looking for Trinity and finds the Utah Sheep Marshal up to his old, tired antics. He watches the SM shoot at Delmonico. Even though he misses, Bambino knows where the SM was aiming. Bambino steps up, rips the 10ga from SM's hands bonks him on the head and shoots him in the "Privets" with his own gun. Then he bends the gun into a prezel shape.
As he leaves, he shouts out to anybody that can hear (because the SM surely cannot hear in his current state) "Tell Trinity that he better see ma for Easter!"
Quote from: Bambino on April 15, 2006, 11:24:40 PM
Bambino rides in looking for Trinity and finds the Utah Sheep Marshal up to his old, tired antics. He watches the SM shoot at Delmonico. Even though he misses, Bambino knows where the SM was aiming. Bambino steps up, rips the 10ga from SM's hands bonks him on the head and shoots him in the "Privets" with his own gun. Then he bends the gun into a prezel shape.
As he leaves, he shouts out to anybody that can hear (because the SM surely cannot hear in his current state) "Tell Trinity that he better see ma for Easter!"
;D
Little Child is halucinationg again. Ah ain't missed with Da 10ga--ever. Ah may be slow, but I'm ahead of You. ::) ;D :D ;D
No body,
NO Body bends My 1901. Ever. >:( :o >:(
Hey Bambino, Did Ya get the number of the Train that hit Ya? :o
;D :D ;D
::)
(Score: Soil Eroders 5000, Bambino 0)
Trinity rides up after visiting with his mother back east ((fast horse ;D ;D)) and sees the Sheep Marshal crying and mumbling incoherently about his shotgun which seems to have been bent into a pretzel. Knowing Bambino's proclivity toward bending shooting irons, Trinity knows that he has been to the ranch.
"Ah wonner why he weren't at the fammly's house!"
"Dail, we's gotta do somethin' bout that crazy feller. <<pointing at the Nevada Sheep Marshal>> It don' look good fer tha newcomers!"
Quote from: Trinity on April 16, 2006, 06:46:48 PM
Trinity rides up after visiting with his mother back east ((fast horse ;D ;D)) and sees the Sheep Marshal crying and mumbling incoherently about his shotgun which seems to have been bent into a pretzel. Knowing Bambino's proclivity toward bending shooting irons, Trinity knows that he has been to the ranch.
"Ah wonner why he weren't at the fammly's house!"
"Dail, we's gotta do somethin' bout that crazy feller. <<pointing at the Nevada Sheep Marshal>> It don' look good fer tha newcomers!"
Trinity Ya been smokin Da rope again. ;D
Shotgun works just fine, barells straght, ya better change Yer Jug N, Brand of Rope. ;D ;D ;D
Happy Resurection Day/ He is Risen indeed!
Slim rides in the dooryard remembering to duck his head. He takes the horse into the barn, unsaddles it, and cares for it. He gathers eggs and milch. He takes them along with his "Mighty Ten" and saddlebags into the house. He puts the perishables into the icebox. He calls out, "Is anyone home?"
from the _edgewood room, little rooster hears a familiar voice.....Washing up with the hot water gizmo...He goes to the Kitchen. Slim, did you bring cheese with holes in it this time. Seems to be a lot of Ham leftover....Let me make you a omolet ;D
"Yep, got the white kind with big holes in the icebox. I would enjoy an omelet, thanks."
Irish comes in to get some coffee, well lookit that, Slim's here an he aint got no knot on hiz haid! :o
"Why would I have a knot on ma haid?" ??? ??? ??? ???
Trinity walks into the kitchen where Slim and Lucky Irish Tom are chatting.
"Fellers" Trinity starts and points out the window at a half crazed sheep herder kicking at the dust and yelling incoherently while shaking his fist in the air. "Ah'm worried 'bout that there feller. Ah thank he done gone off tha deep end. D'ya s'pose that mah brother swatted him too hard? ???"
Delmonico is out in the yard, he has built a stone alter and is pilin' wood up around a lamb he has just kilt with a big ugly knife, a splash of coal oil and a lucifer and the fire is goin'. ::) ;)
Delmonico looks at his big pocket watch and drags a small rug out into the yard and faces Mecca. :o ::) ;)
Trinity stares into the fire and takes a swig from his jug. "Ah'll bet thars some kinda symbology hair, but Ah shore don' know what it is. Purty fahr, though. ;D"
Delmonico gets up from his rug, pats a Brama Bull on the rump and bows down to it. ;D
Quote from: Trinity on April 17, 2006, 06:13:08 PM
Trinity stares into the fire and takes a swig from his jug. "Ah'll bet thars some kinda symbology hair, but Ah shore don' know what it is. Purty fahr, though. ;D"
Trinity stares at Delmonico on his little rug, shakes his head and begins shrieking: "LaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLa"
<<Arthurs note: If Delmonico begins to bathe in the bulls urine, Trinity is leaving. :o ::) ;D ;D>>
Delmonico then writes a thesis and goes down the road to the church and nails it on the door. ;D
Finished with that he goes in and reads his new book, "Signs of the Times." He decides that Mrs' White has some interestin' ideas. ;) But he likes Mr. Smith idea fer more than one wife. ::) But then Mr. Wesley has some good idears also. ;D
Perhaps he can combine a bit from all of them and form his own denomer-nation. ;)
Ozark walks into the house sits down and asks Trinity, Have you seen the sign that Del's a hanging?
It says Delmonico Nation, Preaching $5 a sermon, funerals preached, $3 hitching $2.
curses removed, hexes placed, ask about family discounts.
whats going on ?
A wonderin' Sky Pilot dee-skysed as a sheepherder done gave me the religion. ;D And we'll be safe a Kiowa named Istasha is gonna do a ceramoney to make us bullet proof. ::)
Ozark, you see Delmonico, done got Ordained...thru an ad in the back of sum Magazine he was a readin'.
It's now Rev. Delmonico and his rollin' chuckwagon church, where there is a church picnic every Sunday. He would have used Sister Alice's place but her and her ole'man Ray sold it to the railroad. To be used for a dinin' car. OT you suppose you could hook up a pipe organ to that steam contrapition? I bet Del ....I mean Rev. Delmonico would like that. ;D
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on April 17, 2006, 06:28:51 PM
Ozark walks into the house sits down and asks Trinity, Have you seen the sign that Del's a hanging?
It says Delmonico Nation, Preaching $5 a sermon, funerals preached, $3 hitching $2.
curses removed, hexes placed, ask about family discounts.
whats going on ?
"Frien', Ah ain' got no idear! Just ten minutes ago, he was a writhin' about the ground an' now he's chantin'. Ah thank he done drunk some of that Tiswin likker what I decided not ta touch no more! Oh! An' lookee at that Sheep Marshal out yonder. He's also yellin, chantin' an' playin' with his bent up shot gun. It's a good thang he ain' loaded. Otherwise he'd shoot his knees off'n his laigs!" :o :o :o ::) ::) ::)
"Whazzat you say litl rooster? Done got religion?!?!? Dail??"
Quote from: Trinity on April 17, 2006, 07:04:39 PM
"
"Whazzat you say litl rooster? Done got religion?!?!? Dail??"
Yup!!!! that's what I was tryin' to say.
Delmonico comes over and Lays Hands on Trinity. "Ya is cured brother, ya is cured, well at least after I salt ya up and hang ya in the smokehouse fer a week or so." ;D
"That is how we cure ya of ever'thin' at the "Church of the Imacculate Dutch Oven." ::)
Quote from: litl rooster on April 17, 2006, 07:11:11 PM
Yup!!!! that's what I was tryin' to say.
Praise the Lord and pass the Kimchi !! ;D
Sod Buster please pass the Paper Towels back...................slides the crock of kemchi to SD
Quote from: litl rooster on April 17, 2006, 07:14:07 PM
Sod Buster please pass the Paper Towels back...................slides the crock of kemchi to SD
Here ya go:
(http://www.cronigsmarket.com/images/community/pt_6.jpg)
Now Delmonico takes his rug out and faces the mulberry tree out behind the barn. ;D
Ref: http://www.cascity.com/forumhall/index.php/topic,2966.0.html
Quote from: Delmonico on April 17, 2006, 07:11:57 PM
Delmonico comes over and Lays Hands on Trinity. "Ya is cured brother, ya is cured, well at least after I salt ya up and hang ya in the smokehouse fer a week or so." ;D
"That is how we cure ya of ever'thin' at the "Church of the Imacculate Dutch Oven." ::)
"If'n tha dutch oven is imacculate, that means thar ain' no food tonight... don' it??? :( :( :'( Ah'll take some of them paper towels, please. :'("
Quote from: Trinity on April 17, 2006, 07:24:30 PM
"If'n tha dutch oven is imacculate, that means thar ain' no food tonight... don' it??? :( :( :'( Ah'll take some of them paper towels, please. :'("
It's HAGGIS for dinner tonight since we've got so many sheep pieces laying about..............Time to cut the HAGGIS !!
Quote from: Trinity on April 17, 2006, 07:24:30 PM
"If'n tha dutch oven is imacculate, that means thar ain' no food tonight... don' it??? :( :( :'( Ah'll take some of them paper towels, please. :'("
No that means the owner of the pot don't need to fill it...Someone else will
Quote from: Sod Buster on April 17, 2006, 07:28:12 PM
It's HAGGIS for dinner tonight since we've got so many sheep pieces laying about..............Time to cut the HAGGIS !!
Does we need some more sheep? I feel my trigger finger twitchin'
Delmonico says, "We ain't eat none a that sheep guts and oatmeal, I fix sumthin' in the kitchen."
"Ya didn't kill them right Sod Buster, we're goin' Kosher round here." :o
Delmonico goes inta the kitchen singin' an old Don Williams song.
I don't belive that Heaven waits, for only those who Congegate,
I like to think of God as love he's down below, he's up above.
As supper is cookin' Delmonico looks for his wax cyinders with Red Stegall on them. ;D
(Bet the sheepherder don't listen to Red Stegall.) :P
Well I am sure he is not on Red's writin' or riding staff ;D
before I forgit ad da Sheep here(_____________________)
Dy-no-mite. ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on April 17, 2006, 07:35:56 PM
Delmonico says, "We ain't eat none a that sheep guts and oatmeal, I fix sumthin' in the kitchen."
"Ya didn't kill them right Sod Buster, we're goin' Kosher round here." :o
I kill'd them before you got the religion. Now that you are ordained, you can have the honor of properly sliting their necks. No one else can do this - only the priest/rabbi can do this....otherwise it don't count.
Quote from: litl rooster on April 17, 2006, 07:32:16 PM
Does we need some more sheep? I feel my trigger finger twitchin'
We gotta bring Del
live sheep now....so that he can offer them up properly with his big ugly knife.
Delmonico forgets to put the yeast in the bread. :o He bakes it anyway and gets a bottle of wine and hollors "Communion!"
<Authors note, according to the Cowboy version of the Bible, Moses said, "We ain't got time fer the sourdough ta rise, we's gonna have to make flour tortillas. "Gettin' the Heck Out of Eeee-gib. Chapter 12 verse 14.">
I'z rather bring the herder to his Big Ugly Knife.................Any frijollies with them Tortilla's?
(http://sheep.youssouf.com/sheeplog/blogimages/TheBackPewCartoon_LambAndWine.jpg)
Well I'm going out and get the steam engine fired and start build up some pressure, I know we going to music before very much longer
Ozark comes running in, Del's out there with a cast iron skillet waving it back and forth over the horse trough, I think he's trying to split the water
Quote from: Delmonico on April 17, 2006, 07:43:41 PM
Dy-no-mite. ;D
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/LGH10982.jpg)
Sorry, hadta do it again. ::) ::) ::) ;D ;D
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on April 17, 2006, 07:57:28 PM
Ozark comes running in, Del's out there with a cast iron skillet waving it back and forth over the horse trough, I think he's trying to split the water
"Nawww. Ah jes made wind over yonder. How was Ah 'pposed ta know dail was prayin' over there. Ah thought he were still on his little rug!"
Quote from: Trinity on April 17, 2006, 08:03:27 PM
"Nawww. Ah jes made wind over yonder. How was Ah 'pposed ta know dail was prayin' over there. Ah thought he were still on his little rug!"
You know I seen the ad in that Magazine he got his papers from, It said he doing the hitchin's and preachin's but it never said nuthin' about miracal's like splittin' wind nor water...Next he'll be trying to walk across the Dismall.
what about that feller that camps down by the river that advertises, ole John Barley-Corn and the temptations of Eve. they say he's got a real good show. and them girls is right purty. he says they can make the earth move. they musta sent off to the same ad as Del.
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on April 17, 2006, 08:13:44 PM
what about that feller that camps down by the river that advertises, ole John Barley-Corn and the temptations of Eve. they say he's got a real good show. and them girls is right purty. he says they can make the earth move. they musta sent off to the same ad as Del.
Same one............But them folks was singin and doing a show long before the ad come out. Now they are legal. You know Del, he likes to sing, but it always out of key ;D
Ifn Del takes out across the Dismal, I hope he remembers it is awful early in the spring and that water is still mighty cold.
Quote from: litl rooster on April 17, 2006, 08:07:16 PM
but it never said nuthin' about miracal's like splittin' wind nor water...
Only splittin' wood is allowed with his certificate! ::) :o :D
You know before we know it Del.....I mean Rev.Delmonico will be back in his Black Frock coat passing the hat around.................Say Trinity I heard some weird noise's over at number 7 maybe we should ride out there and check it over....hint hint.
we's gonna havta have something to drink, this whole thing is pretty intense. we gonna havta relax and figure this out.
With all this religion around here the county is gittin' dry....But I know a fella.................
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on April 17, 2006, 08:13:44 PM
what about that feller that camps down by the river that advertises, ole John Barley-Corn and the temptations of Eve. they say he's got a real good show. and them girls is right purty. he says they can make the earth move. they musta sent off to the same ad as Del.
Purty???
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/Other%20Stuff/oldwoman.jpg)
lordy, she sure looked better the other night, I recon she had her teef in then, course I had a jug of homemade with me.
did anybody get the number of that wagon that run over her.
Isn't she the one, who hold's them live 'Rattlr's' up over her had and says the mumbo jumbo stuff?
Hey! Trinity isn't that yer "Wild Rag' she's a wearin'....................by golly it is, how'd she git that?
I seen her do that one night and it looked to me like the snake were the one ascared of being bit
"Why is Dail headed over ta tha stage station wearin' that yaller sheet an carryin' flars?"
"OOPS! Ah done split tha wind! ::) "
a small miracle, we has had wind splitting take place
I don' know where he's a going
Quote from: litl rooster on April 17, 2006, 08:38:23 PM
Isn't she the one, who hold's them live 'Rattlr's' up over her had and says the mumbo jumbo stuff?
Hey! Trinity isn't that yer "Wild Rag' she's a wearin'....................by golly it is, how'd she git that?
"Ah musta lef it over thar las' night! Ah wannit back!"
they say she's got light fingers, what ever that means
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on April 17, 2006, 08:46:09 PM
I don' know where he's a going
"Ah thank he wants ta sell them flars ta travlin' passengers!"
I think she was the one that was the headliner in that show down at the Palace in town...I think the show was called:
IF YOU DON'T STOP IT YOU'LL GO BLIND.
Looks like the Pastor/Preacher/Reverend/Father/padre....................must be congering up a new sermon, so It time to get my gear ready, big hunting trip in the morning. Go oil up th Credemore sights, cus I smell them 'woolie's" nearby.
You fellas go down to their camp later make sure ya put yer money in your shoes for safe keepin' them folks might try and pick your purse.
Quote from: Sod Buster on April 17, 2006, 08:53:34 PM
I think she was the one that was the headliner in that show down at the Palace in town...I think the show was called:
IF YOU DON'T STOP IT YOU'LL GO BLIND.
"Stop what? Lookin' at her? That's enough ta make a person go blind!"
Quote from: litl rooster on April 17, 2006, 08:58:37 PM
Looks like the Pastor/Preacher/Reverend/Father/padre....................must be congering up a new sermon,
He probaly had to go and git a inspriation.
"Ah jes had me a ispiration. Ah was lookin' at the Sears an' Roebuck catalog!"
are you sure it ain't gas?
"Thar was a swellin', but not of hot airs" ::)
;D ;D ;D
Irish puts a sign on Del's Steam Engine/Church Organ "Ragnarok is Coming"
<Arthur's note: Trinity is the winner of the 6000th post.> ;D
Slim finishes his omelet and takes a cup of coffee to the porch to watch the sunrise.
;D
My works done here, 'cept fer dat scrawny Rooster, He neeeds ta be boiled in da pot, An meen Batized. ;D
Marshal sadles up Da Sheep, grabs Da Cannon,ie The 10ga., His special loads N heads out. ;D
::)
Slim decides to saddle up and ride range to check on cattle. He gets in the saddle and heads fer the herd.
Having been catatonic and silent for a few weeks Stoney come to and wishes he hadn't. :o Strapping on both pistols runs to the barn saddles his horse rides out after Slim. Upon catchin' up with him Pete says, "I hate it when I'm outta it fo so long. Waking up makes my head hurt."
"It's good ta have ya in the land of the livin' agin." ;D
litl' rooster ever so wary of The Utah Sheepherder, watch's him ride da Sheep out. Firing a shot between the da Sheep's legs. Perfect miss ;D da Sheep hops the Herder falls in a fresh green cow pie. da Sheep runs off with the herder afoot again. ;D
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim
"It's good ta have ya in the land of the livin' agin." ;D
Quote from: stoneypete
Having been catatonic and silent for a few weeks Stoney come to
Ozark hearing his two friends talking, fears that Stoney has a vodo spell on him. quickly telegraphs a vodo doctor friend of his in southern Louisanna to come quick and bring lots of herbs. we needs a spell removed.
Delmonico has no luck sellin' flowers to the travelers at the stage stop. He heads back to the ranch with Trinity's yaller sheets and wishes aro-planes had been invented. ;D
Delmonico talks to litl rooster and he says the Sky Pilot/Sheep Herder has left sayin' his work is done. "That fella works less than Trinity." ;D
Ridding herd with Slim, Stoney feels a sense of relaxation come over him. He's spent too much time at the ranch. "Slim, I think I gotta get out more often."
Quote from: Delmonico on April 18, 2006, 06:10:12 PM
Delmonico talks to litl rooster and he says the Sky Pilot/Sheep Herder has left sayin' his work is done. "That fella works less than Trinity." ;D
:o :o"Now you take that back right now! No one works less than me!" ::) ::) ;D
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on April 18, 2006, 09:34:44 AM
<Arthur's note: Trinity is the winner of the 6000th post.> ;D
<<Arthur's note: :-[ Naw.... OT is the winner, Trinity's a cheater. >:( :-[ :-[ ;D>>
Delmonico says, "see ya can't trust no travelin' Sky Pilot, he said his work is done and he was leavin', now he's peekin' in the window again." Delmonico gets some incense, puts in in his censor and lights is, spreadin' the smokey fragerance all around the house. ::)
He then sits cross legged in the dinin' room and holds his hands out, palms up and chants, "uuund-yelly-mond, uuuund-yelly-mond, undyellymond." ::)
Delmonico says, "Get ready fer some sheep, dy-nomite and a 10 gauge. ;D The sheepherder is gonna tell us a story as to why he fibbed ta us. Might wanna get him a Websters so he can learns some new words.""
"Durn it takes him a while to think up escuses." ;D
Delmonico tosses some dirty dishwater out the kitchen window and hits the Sheep Herder, "Tain't Holy Water, but it's good enough fer a window peeker, BTW I blessed it first." ::)
He then tosses out a towel and hollor's, "Dry off afore ya short circuit yer key board and end up in a porn site." :o
Quote from: Delmonico on April 18, 2006, 07:27:22 PM
Delmonico tosses some dirty dishwater out the kitchen window and hits the Sheep Herder, "Tain't Holy Water, but it's good enough fer a window peeker, BTW I blessed it first." ::)
"Yeah, right after Ah sneezed in it, Dail said 'God Bless You'" ;D ;D *sniff* *sniff* "What's that strange smellin' smoke? Ah cain' smail mah rope no more!
"Looky! He's still pakin' in!"
"He's still thinkin' of sumthin' clever to say, pretty soon he'll give up again and post sheep, 10 gauge and dyno-mite. ;D
<Author's note: He's gonna have to hurry cause my computor at home is still broke and I'm gonna have to close soon.> ;D
Delmonico says, "Get ready I found us a place west of here to celebrate the summer solstice." ;D
http://www.clusterballoon.org/nebraska/nebraska.html
<Authors Note: When he gets it posted ya all can call me if'n it's clever, ya have my nuber, gotta close.> ;D
Quote from: litl rooster on April 18, 2006, 03:28:27 PM
litl' rooster ever so wary of The Utah Sheepherder, watch's him ride da Sheep out. Firing a shot between the da Sheep's legs. Perfect miss ;D da Sheep hops the Herder falls in a fresh green cow pie. da Sheep runs off with the herder afoot again. ;D
;D ;D ;D
Marshal whirls N grabs His trusty 10ga., racks the action N shoots LR in da tail-feathers with Da Rock Salt, racks the action N Blows LR's Hat off, leavers again n shoots Pea-Eye's tie rope lose, Racks the action again N Shoots the ground betwean Pea-Eye. Shot bounces off ground N hits Pea-Eye N Da Flanks :o, the horse Ney's, bucks N takes off at a full gallop fer Da hills. ;D
Marshal closes on LR levals the Mighty 10 n Says, " Got no use fer Backshooters, N Bushwhackers, Ya don't have ta love Ma Sheep, I'de have Ya fer dinner, but your too tough N scrawny, besides it would take me forever ta get the buckshot out. :(
Marshal ties up LR with da barb-wire. Remounts Da Sheep N rides out to the Dynomite Chicken Ranch. ;D
;D :D ;D
::)
Trinity yawns. "Yep! Dail was right. Nothin' but "sheep, 10 gauge and dyno-mite". But ya fergot rock salt an' tail feathers. Hey Dail, d'ya suppose he would like ta buy some flars from ya an' have a leaflet?"
Quote from: Delmonico on April 18, 2006, 07:49:07 PM
Delmonico says, "Get ready I found us a place west of here to celebrate the summer solstice." ;D
http://www.clusterballoon.org/nebraska/nebraska.html
Interesting.
I am so glad they made sure to include in Carhenge the Pinto. The bean so good they had to name a car after it... ;D ;D ;D
(http://www.clusterballoon.org/nebraska/ne_01.jpg)
Wal the medicine man from down south made it here, he said he needed to cook up some of his brew, I seen your #3 still were'nt being used so he's a cooking up some kinda something to make us all bullet proof again the rock salt.
"Be careful with product from #3! She's been tainted with Dails Dye-rhear elixer. :o :o :o :P :P :P"
Ozark walks down to see ifin the voodoo man has got any cure made up. he has about a pint run off. Ozark buts it in a mason jar and starts walking back to the house as he passes Slims chicken coop one of his roosters comes running over to the fence, Ozark pours a little out into the chickens water, the rooster gets him a good drink, Ozark backs up and watches for a little bit.
Quote from: stoneypete on April 18, 2006, 01:15:33 PM
Having been catatonic and silent for a few weeks Stoney come to and wishes he hadn't. :o Strapping on both pistols runs to the barn saddles his horse rides out after Slim. Upon catchin' up with him Pete says, "I hate it when I'm outta it fo so long. Waking up makes my head hurt."
Author's note>>>>wonders where StoneyPete lernt such a 25 cent werd
Author's note 2>>>Nuthin new from the Sheepherder ;D
Author's note << not sure where I lernt the big words. Musta been while I was somnambulistic. ;D >>
Quote from: stoneypete on April 19, 2006, 06:38:23 AM
Author's note << not sure where I lernt the big words. Musta been while I was somnambulistic. ;D >>
<Arthur's note: Now ya made me use the dikshunairy. Shame on ya.> :D
Quote from: stoneypete on April 18, 2006, 06:46:09 PM
Ridding herd with Slim, Stoney feels a sense of relaxation come over him. He's spent too much time at the ranch. "Slim, I think I gotta get out more often."
"Yep, it's good to ride the range. To git out in the elements, see critters, and get the lay of the land."
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on April 19, 2006, 09:31:46 AM
"Yep, it's good to ride the range. To git out in the elements, see critters, and get the lay of the land."
Didn't see many sheep did you? ;D :o ::) ;D
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on April 19, 2006, 09:29:01 AM
<Arthur's note: Now ya made me use the dikshunairy. Shame on ya.> :D
Well ya goin' to keep it a secret?
Quote from: Trinity on April 18, 2006, 09:24:16 PM
"Be careful with product from #3! She's been tainted with Dails Dye-rhear elixer. :o :o :o :P :P :P"
Yep, that Del's exilir may give ya Dye- rhear ;)
Owning a horse like Pea Eye is what everyman needs, he is aware of any danger 20 minutes before it happens. I can sleep with both eyes closed and he will war me....In case of the Sheepherder he sleeps too. ;D
Delmonico comes out with a small sharp knife, speakin' Hebrew which no one can understand, he then says, "When I was down makin' the wagon ladies put veils over their faces, they tol't me someone had neglected Trinity when he was a baby. His mother fergot to have the Rabbi perform a bit of minor surgery. Does anyone know where he is so I can do it?"
<Authors Note: Just looked at the weather report, they is predictin' 10 gauges, sheep and dyno-mite tonight.>
<Authors note: Just checked the Doppler Radar, the Sheep, 10 gauge and the dyno-mite are showin' up real close."> ;D ::) ::)
with a chance of strong Salt N Pepr too
fergot.....................he he
Delmonico says, "He's so slow I'll be eatin' supper afore he figgers out what he's gonna say 'bout the sheep, ect. I've got bigger fish to skin, ya seen Trinity?" :o
Dell, ;D, its called a Zemmal, kinda like a guiletine. :o
The Rabbi that does circucision is called a Moil.
Personaly in this case, a Cleiver will suffice. :o
For His brother, will need a broad axe. :o
;D :D ;D
::)
Delmonico says, "Well I was wrong, first time, on other time I thought I was wrong, but found out I was mistaken." ::)
"Now that the sheepherder got him a Websters lets go have some fun and ferget about rep-a-tiss-us posts." ;D
Delmonico puts his knife in his boot in case he runs into Trinity and heads off to see if there is radishes in the garden."
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There are< Buuuuurrp. :P
:o :o :o :o
"First thangs first... Ah hadta go lookit up too:
QuoteMain Entry: som·nam·bu·lism
Pronunciation: säm-'nam-by&-"li-z&m
Function: noun
1 : an abnormal condition of sleep in which motor acts (as walking) are performed
2 : actions characteristic of somnambulism
- som·nam·bu·list /-list/ noun
- som·nam·bu·lis·tic /(")säm-"nam-by&-'lis-tik/ adjective
- som·nam·bu·lis·ti·cal·ly /-ti-k(&-)lE/ adverb
... and now, what with Dail runnin' 'roun' wif that
Zemmal thang, Ah thank it's tahm ta git outta here! Ah ain' too keen on losin' nothin' down thar. Ah need all's Ah kin git!" (http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/shock/19.gif)
Delmonico sees Trinity runnin, off, Delmonico gets his Sharps and walks into the yard. He graps some dust and let it drop to gauge the wind. He then does some figgerin' in his head, adjusts the vernier sight on his Sharps, opens the breech and inserts a shell the size of a small seegar.
He then cocks the hammer, sets the rear trigger and slowly squeezes it. :o There is a boom, a cloud of white smoke and the smell of the Easter Egg someone missed last year in the air. Trinity yelps and continues runnin', Delmonico walks the half mile to where he was and sees a piece of skin on the ground. ::)
He goes back to the porch and yells out, "Is there any more unclean heathens among ya? If so speak up afore I clean my Zemmal." :P
<<Author reads last post and shakes head. What won't he think of?>>
Trinity runs for a few yards then looks down and faints.
(http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/sad/30.gif)
<Authors Note: I'm workin' on the next one, check tommorow, same time, same channel. BTW ya ever see the episode on Gunsmoke where some of Festus's kin was gonna shoot off his ear, well not the whole ear, just the little hangy down part. ;D>
litl' rooster watchin' what happen to Trinity.....Lever's his rifle and sniff's the chamber...............Nope Del, ain't no Heathens here. ;D
Good, he cleans the rifle and puts it away and heads to the barn workshop. ;D
After seeing what has befallen Trinity, Ozark has the local indian to send a emerengcy smoke signal for a good nurse for Trinity, knowing he's going to need one bad when he comes to.
Quote from: Delmonico on April 19, 2006, 07:56:27 PM
Good, he cleans the rifle and puts it away and heads to the barn workshop. ;D
;D
Nice improved Zemmal. :D
Now, Ah have to go and Say kadish. (Prayer for the Dead) Zola Levitt a friend and fellow Sheephearder sucumed to cancer this afternoon. :(
He didn't cary a gun, or knife, but taught the Good Book, allways Said, "Pray for the peace of Jerusalem". Wrote some beautiful music. ;D :D ;D
He's in a better place, believing in Messiah Jesus, Y'shua! ;D
Now He was a real Sky-Pilot. :'(
:'(
<Arthur's note: Slim and Stoney are glad they's ridin' the range with all the strange goin' ons at the ranch. ::) ::) ::)>
Delmonico hears what Slim said and laughs as he works on his plans for his next invention. ;D
Thinkin' about what Slim said he starts to sing. :o
Merry-go-rounds and burial grounds
Are all the same to me.
Horses on post and kids and ghosts
Are spirits that we ought to set free.
Then city slicker pickers got a lot of
Slicker licks than me.
But ridin' the range and acting strange
Is where I want to be.
And I just wanna be a cosmic cowboy
I just wanna ride and rope and hoot (hoot!)
Well I just wanna be a cosmic cowboy
Talkin' 'bout a supernatural country rockin' galoot
Well skinny dippin' and lone star sippin' and steel guitar
And are just as good as hollywood and some boogie-woogie bars.
I'm gonna buy me a vest and a head out west
My little woman and myself.
And when we come to town the people gather around
And marvel at the little baby's health.
And I just wanna be a cosmic cowboy
I just wanna ride and rope and hoot (hoot!)
Well I just wanna be a cosmic cowboy
I said a supernatural country rockin' galoot.
Then a big raccoon and a harvest moon
Keep rolling through my mind.
And a home on the range where the antelope play
Is sometimes hard to find.
So don't bury me on the lone prairie.
I'd rather play there alive.
Well, I'm doing my best I keep my farm in the west
My little bronco in over-drive.
And I just wanna be a cosmic cowboy
I just wanna ride and rope and hoot (hoot!)
Well I just wanna be a cosmic cowboy
Talkin' 'bout a supernatural country rockin' galoot.
And I just wanna be a cosmic cowboy
I just wanna ride and rope and hoot (hoot!)
Well I just wanna be a cosmic cowboy
Talkin' 'bout a supernatural country rockin' galoot
As he's singin', Delmonico heads to the shed fer some lumber. ;)
Delmonico goes out of the workshop and out behind the barn. He goes over to the mulberry tree and grabs the extra buggy spring that was left over from his buggy rebuild project. ;D
He takes it into the workshop. ???
Delmonico rolls a wheeled frame out of the workshop, the frame has on end of the buggy spring attached to it. The other end has 12 foot 4X4 attached to it, with what looks like a large wooden spoon on the end. ::)
He places this out in the yard and heads down by the barn with a bowl of milk, callin', "here kitty kitty, here kitty kitty, nice kitty kitty." ::) ::)
Choose any of the cats, but not The Cat! He's mahn!!!!!!
Delmonico comes from the barn with a wigglin' gunny sack. He sets the sack down by the new contraption and jumps up and grabs the spoon lookin' thing. He pulls it down and hooks it with an eye and hook device. :o
Next he lets the cat out of the bag, grabs it and tosses it on the spoon and releases the hook. The cat shoots out of the cat-er-pult and flises to the west where SToney Pete and Slim anre ridin' the range and bein' strange. ;)
Luckly the cat misses Stoney, but it lands back feet forward, just behind the cantle on Slim's saddle, the front claws dig in on both side of the tail of Slim's horse and a snortin' buckin' horse is seen carrin' a yowlin' cat. ::) Slim is yowlin' as loud as the cat as he holds onto his horses tail. ;D
"I like that story" ;D
I'd give a quarter to see that again
>:( "Tha FFG would zap y'all inta skinks fer this!!"
Delmonico heads off across the prarie and is back with his gunny sack a wigglin'. ::) He sets the cat-er-pualt again and puts on the bag. Just before he pulls the lanyard he opens the top. :o
Sprong, 51 skinks are launched and land in Trinity's #4 still. :D
<Author's Note: She would have also liked ya drinkin' skink likker. :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
She also liked the "Cheesy" Icons.> :P
Ozark comes into the yard and shows Trinity his newly purchased prize. I done bought Slim a pair of breeding rabbits. I know how much he likes taking care of them chickens so I thought he might like to raise a few baby rabbits, this in here is the daddy. at least that what this guy I'm buying it from says.
:o :o "Bunnicula???"
bunnyzilla
checking the "Newbrassky" brand book.........Yep Rabbit's allowed.......................One that size, I hope would prey on Sheep ;D
Seeing the cat dug in to Slim horse Stoney take his newly aquired branding iron (Author's note: Thanks Ozark) from the fire and smashes the cat in the haid. It falls from the horse afore Slim is thrown.
"Gotta be one of Del's inventions." Slim tells Stoney.
"yep. Either that or one of the Stills blew up." :o
Slim's horse continues to pitch towards the Dismal. Since the lack of snow and rain, the Dismal doesn't have much water in it just mostly mud. The horse finally lets loose of Slim at the bank. Slim goes up in the air and lands spread eagle in the muddy Dismal. :o :o :o :o
<Author's Note: Must be a different river Slim, the Dismal is spring fed and almost never varies.> ;D
http://www.ngpc.state.ne.us/boating/guides/canoetrails/canoe-dis.asp
WARNING!!! DO NOT try talking to the cook late at night. He fell asleep in the middle of the confab. The noise coming from the BOB (battery operated barbwire) sounded like his steam powered traction engine was about to throw a rod.
<Authors Note: The bat-tree died.> ::)
Quote from: Delmonico on April 21, 2006, 10:18:10 AM
<Author's Note: Must be a different river Slim, the Dismal is spring fed and almost never varies.> ;D
http://www.ngpc.state.ne.us/boating/guides/canoetrails/canoe-dis.asp
<<Artistic license ;D ;D ;D>>
Down at Still # 4 Trinity finds a dozen drunken skinks lying on their backs and many more weaving tracks back into the woods. >:( "Dail's playin' agin wif dem dang skinks, dern it."
He picks two dead skinks with smiles on their faces from the kettle and throws them to the side. Then he pours a portion into the jug, smells it and takes a large swig. "Jeeeees right. Them Mormon's gonna like this batch."
Trinity fills the 125 jugs that he brought on the buckboard and crates them for delivery to Utah. On the crate, he marks the address and warnings: Fragile, Caution, Very Flammable and Biohazzard. ;D ;D ;D "Ah'll take this crate to the rail haid fer the 12:00 train tomorry."
Ozark comes walking up to trinity's wagon as he is loading the last of the jugs, and says Trinity looks like the ole cat had a littler of kittens down by the barn, reckon you could take a coupe of them up to ms collinswood, she always talking about a cathouse, I figured they'd have a good home there.
we sur got some stange animals around here.
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on April 21, 2006, 09:53:22 PM
Ozark comes walking up to trinity's wagon as he is loading the last of the jugs, and says Trinity looks like the ole cat had a littler of kittens down by the barn, reckon you could take a coupe of them up to ms collinswood, she always talking about a cathouse, I figured they'd have a good home there.
we sur got some stange animals around here.
Looks like Ya got some of them thar Tiger-pigs. ;D :D ;D
too bad they can't fly, Yad have Flying-tiger-pigs. ;D ;D ;D
No doubt about it got some strange critters here. ???
Trinity returns from the rail head and looks at OT's new "kittens". In order to refrain fromm making comments about Arkansas, Trinity makes a huge batch of coffee.
"Coffee's up fellers!!" Trinity yells and then thinking again of the kittens he begins to shout something else but shuts his mouth. :-X :-X :-X ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhzzzzzzz Trinity, you don't want wake there Momma'
;D :D ;D
Nice kitty, Kitty, KITTY ;D :D ;D
Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.......................................................
"Awww, looky! Tha mama's purrin'. Ah'm gonna go pet her!"
Quote from: Trinity on April 22, 2006, 11:21:28 AM
"Awww, looky! Tha mama's purrin'. Ah'm gonna go pet her!"
;D
NO Trinity!!!Ever here of revenge of the Tiger,,
by Clawd Ballses?
Delmonico comes out of the worshop and sets up a deee-vice on a table he has staked down behind the traction engine. He 'taches the leather drive belt to it and starts to stoke up the engine. ???
After the fire is goin' and the pressure is buildin' he heads to the root cellar and get all kinds of veggy-tables. ???
Trinity staggers back from the "Mama Kitty" covered in very little clothing, red strips all over his body and trailing blood behind him. Seeing Delmonico at the traction engine he stops to warn him "Don' pet tha purrin' mama kitty, don' pet her!"
Trinity struggles up the steps to the porch, flops in his hammock.takes gulps from his jug which is always handy and passes out.
Delmonico throws the clutch on the traction engine and tosses a head of cabbage in and it comes out shredded fer coleslaw. ;D He disengages the clutch and changes blades and re-engages the clutch and tossed in taters which come out ready to fry. ::)
Clutch in, a blade chance, clutch out and carrots are made inta carrot sticks. ;D Clutch in, blade change, clutch out and Delmonico starts French cuttin' green beans. ::)
In his near death stupor, Trinity shouts out: "Frainch frahs needed. Frainch frahs pronto please!"
Delmonico deep fat frys the tators and takes them out to Trinity who only thinks he's dyin' from some very minor kitty cat scratches. ::)
Within seconds the french fried potatoes and ketchup are gone and Trinity is feebly asking for more.
Knowin' what Trinity needs, Delmonico cut up some more tators and chages blades (with the clutch disengaged). He then gets a hunk of kinda fat beef with a lot of gristle. He engages the clutch and grinds that. He fries the tators and grills the beef and puts it on a bun. He takes the greasy fries and burger out to Trinty. ;D
Trinity's open wide and a huge smile forms on his face as he enjoys the delecacy. "Ya know Dail the only thang what would make this better? A slash of solid yaller earl.... an bacon. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Suddenly Trinity remembers the unfinished drive-in. Excitedly and full of energy again he shouts out: "Dail! Dail! You orta sail these thangs at the lil' outhouse what you made the fancy pavement fer."
Hmmm, I fergot about that, might have to look into it. Ya 'spose Slim would wear a skirt with an ungly French dog on it and roller-skate the food out to folks in buggies. :o
:'( :'( :'( "Won' be the same as our perky lass what lef' us too early.... but he'd do alright Ah s'pose."
Delmonico goes to the sewin' room to sew a skirt for Slim, before he goes he tells Trinity, "When Slim gets here tommorow, shave his legs." ;D Since Slim is gone on the weekends, we'll get Stoney Pete to work the weekend shifts. ::)
Del, I would think shaving both there faces might help business too. Why you sewing a sheep on that skirt...............Don't get no funny ideals..I might wear a kilt on the National holiday.............but I ain't wearin' no skirt. Especially one with d@^* sheep on it...........spits.
From the hammock, Trinity asks: "Dail.... dontcha thank that someone should do sump'en 'bout the weeds aroun' tha "drive in"?" Then he rolls over. Lifting his head, he turns back and adds: "Oh, an Ah ain' gonna shave no man's laigs!"
Quote from: litl rooster on April 23, 2006, 07:37:31 PM
Del, I would think shaving both there faces might help business too. Why you sewing a sheep on that skirt...............Don't get no funny ideals..I might wear a kilt on the National holiday.............but I ain't wearin' no skirt. Especially one with d@^* sheep on it...........spits.
"Litl rooster, that ain' no sheep. It's one of dem useless frainch dawgs wif a bad haircut. Yer prolly right about them fellers beards. That don' make them look too perky." ;D ;D
Tell Del when you see him, there's some woman out here on the porch asking about a job skating and wearing a sheep dress, you know anything bout that?
"Is she perky?"
Slim rides in covered head ta toe with dried mud. He goes into the house and draws a bath.
Slim soaks in the tub fer awhile to get the mud off. He, then, washes his clothes. After putting on a clean set of clothes, he hangs the clean wet clothes out to dry. He can hear someone in the sewin' room busily using the treadle machine. He goes to the kitchen and puts on a fresh pot of coffee.
"Ugh! Ah din't see that old... er elderly lady. She ain' hahrd! Sleeeeeeum... we got a new duty fer ya."
Hire her Trinity, yer the Human Resorces person fer this place. ;D
"Naw, she ain' hahrd, an' that's that!"
LAWYER'S NOTE: THE REASON WHY MRS. PRUNY PARKER WAS NOT HIRED HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HER AGE BUT THAT THE PHYSICAL REQUIREMENTS OF A ROLLER GIRL/PERKY LASS CONSTITUTE A HAZZARD TO HER PHYSICAL HEALTH.
Well it's a good thing yu talked to a lawyer, ifin she hada dropped out there from the strain , well somebody would a had to revive her,
Now that's an awful thought.
Stoney only rode part way to the ranch. He gave a listen to the going's on afore he dared come in.
Quote from: Delmonico on April 23, 2006, 02:38:02 PM
"When Slim gets here tommorow, shave his legs." ;D Since Slim is gone on the weekends, we'll get Stoney Pete to work the weekend shifts. ::)
:o I don't verk. And the week ends are for loafing to relax from the stress of avoiding verk.
Quote from: Trinity on April 23, 2006, 08:14:51 PM
Then he rolls over. Lifting his head, he turns back and adds: "Oh, an Ah ain' gonna shave no man's laigs!"
He's smarter than he looks, Stoney thinks.
Quote from: litl rooster on April 23, 2006, 07:37:31 PM
Del, I would think shaving both there faces might help business too.
Stoney strokes his beard. I ain't seen what his face looks like in years. Not planning on it either.
Stoney gets back on his horse and rides back out with the heard. It would be safer there. ::)
Slim goes out ta take his clothes offa the line. Instead of his clothes hanging there, he sees this:
(http://www.peacockvintage.citymaker.com/i/pinkpoodlefront1.jpg)
:o :o :o :o :o :o
"Alright who stole my clothes and hang this skirt with a badly shorn sheep on it in their place!" >:( >:( >:( >:(
;D :D ;D
"That Ain'! No! Sheep! How many times do Ah have ta 'splain this? It's a ugly frainch dawg!"
Slim comes inta the kitchen with his new skirt on. Delmonico ropes him and puts roller skates on his boots (the spurs will work for wheelie bars ;D) Delmonico hands him two double cheese burgers, a fry and an onion ring and two sasparilla's. "Here take these out to that couple in the buggy in the yard. Be po-light about it and ya might get a tip." ;D
Del........you should have told him to take the "chaps' oft a'fore he put that fancy skirt with the sheep on it on.
Delmonico goes to the Wedgewood room and puts up a sign that says, "All Employee's Will Wash Their Hands With Lye Soap and Water Before Retunin' to Work"
He notices someone has used all the Sanitary Tissue and has not replaced the roll. He puts on a new roll, washes his hands and sees Slim comin' back to the kitchen. Delmonico then knows who used all the tissue. ;D :o ::) :P
"Sanit-ary tissue!? What in tarnation is that fer? Ah got's us a bucket of perfectly good corn cobs rightchere, on the right side of tha wedgywood bowl"
"Slim's upper torso would be a bit lumpy if'n he'd a used corn cobs." ::)
:o :o :o ::)
"Ah reckon so at that! Din't thank of that use."
Irish is bring supplies back from Town in the wagon and sees the sign for Del's new business and the buggies parked in neatly marked spaces in the yard! As he pulls in Slim comes out the doorway from the kitchen in his pink poodle skirt and lumpy pink sweater, the Percherons get one look at him and bolt off the Ranch. Delmonico hears the racket and looks out the window in time to see L.I.T. disappear over the rise at a high rate of speed, wondering what his hurry is he goes back to flipping burgers.
<Arthur's note: Friends! ::) ::) ::) ::)>
Slim looks down. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
He rips off the pink sweater and "badly shorn sheep" skirt. He runs to his room to put on his real clothes.
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on April 27, 2006, 09:05:15 AM
Slim looks down. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
Stoney hears the screem from clear out with the herd. :o Turning to his horse he says, "We won't be going home today either." ::)
Pretending to be tending to the customers, Trinity shouts through the window to Delmonico: "Three more burgers wif chili an' cheese!!!"
Slim finds nuthin' but blouses and poodle skirts in his closet. ;D
Trinity, ride out and have Stoney Pete bring in another steer to grind. ::)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! :o :o :o :o :o
Slim faints. ::)
While Slim is out cold, Delmonico decides he's a bit pugy fer a buggy hop, so he gets Trinity to help him and the take off his blouse, leavin' the tissue in place. ::) Then they lace him up tight in a corset and re-dress him. ::) :o
Delmonico revives him with smellin' salts and hands him a buger platter to take to a buggy. ::)
:o"Dail, jes what kind of buggy hop is this here?? Oh, thars four sides in the ice house. Three burgers fer slot number four, please." ;D
Delmonico hands them to Slim on a platter and rolls him out the door. ::)
From the kitchen Delmonico hollors to Trinity, "Got an order fer chicken strips, go run over ona Slim's chickens with the hay rake." ::) :P
"Also run down to the river and catch some crawdads, got an order fer a shrimb basket." ;D
"Get some water out a the marsh near the Dismal, got an order fer a Green River." :P
Trinity takes the platter from Slim and retires to the hammock. "Whew! This is just too much work. Ah gotta eat somethin' an' rest a little. Them chickens gonna have ta wait!"
Qzark, who has been tendin animals all day down at the barns, comes into the house past Del in the buggy drive in, past Trinity eating burgers and fries and looks into the next room where Slim looks like he's been hog tied with a straight jacket with bulges and stuck in a dress, Stoney is nowhere in sight, wonders outloud is there anything new going around chere.
;D :D ;D
Marshal, Who has been glassing all this, muses, "They think sheephearding is weird, Huh?"
???
:-\
:o
Gueiss it takes all kinds. ;D :D ;D
Irish has finally gotten the Percherons under control, and using blinders to get them past Slim, manages to get them in the Barn. Hearing Del's request to Trinity, and seeing as how Trinity isn't going anywhere further than the condiment station, Irish fires up Del's steam tractor and a few minutes later hands Del a pail of Dismal water, several baskets of crawdads, and a couple of mechanically seperated chickens.
Stoney see's the going's on through his spy glass. "Look's like we spend the weekend roughin' it. But we gotta rescue Slim so's he can head home."
Riding at full gallop, Stoney pulls his rope off his saddle horn and without breaking stride, he's able to lasso Slim and pull him up on his horse. They ride out to the herd.
"In one why it's good your horse throwed you. Del was not able to get to the clothes in your saddle bags. I've picketed your horse by the fire. You'd better get outta that corset and wash your face before going home to the Mrs. and wee one's. I sure wouldn't wanta be explaining that to her." ;D
"In fact I'm ridding home with you. I ain't takin' no chance of Del makin' me verk this weekend." >:( :o
"Thanks, Stoney. Yer a real pard." Slim changes clothes and washes his face. He throws the pink sweater, badly shorn sheep skirt, corset, roller skates, etc. into the campfire.
Trinity brings in a couple of the Wagon Ladies to work. ::) The buggy hops are such a big hit, Delmonico puts up a large sign that says.
Burger Queen
;D ::) :o :D ;)
Delmonico makes some larger buns and takes two pounds a buger and grills it, addin' all sorts of con-de-mints to it. He then adds the "Big Delmonico" burger to the menu. :D
Ozark looks out the winder and sees the smoke coming from the cooker wagon, "Del's Drive in", it's light smoke at first but soon looks like a steam thresher in full harvest.
litl' rooster see's the comotion at the new Burger Queen, and decides to ride out and visit the Stranger who lives in the "soddy". With all them folks feedin' on them burgers, I might need to make arrangements to feed more cattle on his corn.
Beings it's Friday Night, all kinds of buggys with young couples is commin' inta the drive in burger joint. ::) Delmonico bakes some more buns, longer and skinny. He brews up a big pot-o-chile and grills up some a the Weinerwurst and covers them with chili. ::)
Sod Buster rides up, just coming back from his trip to the Nevada Territory.
"Hamburger Sandwich please. Throw in some sauteed mushrooms, aparagus, and artichoke hearts on the side please."
Trinity, eager to help now that the waggon ladies are around, shouts in the window: "The stranger from the soddy is ordering some odd items, boss. You want Ah should throw him out?"
Over in slot number eight two business men like the taste of Delmonico's new ice cream milk shakes. They take the idea and the buggy hop's name back to Illinois to open the first Dairy Queen.
Delmonico say's, "They done even better, they bought the whole kit and kaboodle and is gonna france-cive it." I gots enough money in the bank again to run this ranch since Slim don't make no money with the cattle. ;D Thought I was gonna have to salt a diamond mine and sell it again." ::)
"Don' fergit 'bout mah stills an' mah gold." ;) ;D
Well between the two of us we'll keep this goin' so Slim can play rancher. ;D
"An' support Mrs. Slim an' them 42 kids of his. ::)
...Wait, Sleeum does hailp. He brangs in the aigs an' brangs us cheese. ;D ;D ;D"
"Didn't say he don't help, but when was the last time he took a herd to the railroad and sold them? ;D ;D If'n I remember right, the only herd he drove to the railroad was his his herd of hogs." ;)
After Delmonico cleans up the debris from the Drive-Inn, he heads to the workshop to build his latest idea. ::)
Quote from: Delmonico on April 29, 2006, 01:14:58 PM
After Delmonico cleans up the debris from the Drive-Inn, he heads to the workshop to build his latest idea. ::)
"Deee-Bree? What didja do, Dail?"
"Thats why I was so glad to sell the france-ice, them young folks in them buggys make a big mess." ;D
Delmonico heads out to the shed fer some lumber and some iron bar stock. ::) Smoke is seen comin' out of the pipe on the forge as he fires it up. ;D
There is a loud clangin' as Delmonico works the iron on the anvil. ??? ::) :o ;D
Delmonico goes in the house and grabs a bunch of cans of percussion caps and dumps the caps in a large can and goes back to the workshop. ??? ::) :o :D
Delmonico goes inta the smokehouse and graps some of the extra Weinerwurst casings. ::) He then goes upstairs and graps a spool of silk thread and some silver dollars. :o ::) ;)
Sleepily, Trinity watches from the hammock as Delmonico walks back and forth between his workshop and the house, each time carrying something more strange to the workshop.
"Uh Oh" Trinity thinks. "Ah'd leave fer a few days, but Ah done misplaced mah baig"
Ozark, who's a little disapointed that all them roller skating gals is gone now, wonders aloud to Trinity, I ain't seen Del in a while, you reckon he done wore hisself out from alll that scurring back and forth and went to sleep in the barn?
I guess he done got tired of cooking these last few days.
"Ah don' reckon a'tall that he's tarred an' sleepin'. Ah'ma 'spectin' ta hear a boom or sumpin any tahm now. On another note, Ah'm kinda hongry too. Ya wan' some potted meat Nabs? Dail made us some orange hardtack this mornin'" ;D ;D ;D
We got Nabs, we had them back home in Arkansas, theys always good. and some of them orange hartack wouldn't be bad.
I'll tellygraph uncle Fud back home and have him send us some of them hot pork rinds he makes for dessert, that'll kinda give us a snack.
"Ah got me a jar of pickled aigs in mah room. We kin have us a few of them, but Ah ain' gonna be 'sponsible fer what happens later. Stay away from open flames is mah ad-vice!" :o :-\
Stoney come ridding back into the Ranch all frazzled. "42 kids." :o "And he goes home to 'rest' " :o Glad to see the burger joint gone, he goes to his room and colapses on his bed. "I hearbye swear my allegience to bachlorhood."
As he drifting off to sleep he realizes he DID NOT see Del. That means only one thing. He's in the shop. Something's gonna come out and it probably won't be quiet. ::) "Anything's gotta be quieter than 42 kids." ;D ;)
I seen that picture of Slim, hanging in the hallway back befor he had all them kids, back when he was a young man, he was a wearing some kinda sporting outfit. he had a big S stitched to his shirt, I guess for Slim,
that was a lot of kids ago.
When I asked him ifin he was one of them weight lifters in the side show, all he could talk about was running faster than a speeding bullet. he didn't say who was doing the shooting.
Trinity, still in his hammock, rolls over. Talking in his sleep he says "They's talkin' too loud Pa! A man kain' git no sleep. Whar's tha coffee?" <<SNAAARRRXXXXX>>
From the workshop strange sounds e-mitt. ::) First a silvery ca-chink, then a grindin' noise and finnally a ca-chunk. :o :D
"Dail's mintin' money! Ah hope he's got ol' Jeff Davis likeness on the front! ;D ;D ;D"
<Authors Note: Not really mintin' money, but this little device will be a money maker. ;D>
Delmonico comes out of the workshp with a nicely finished wooden box, near the top left hand corner is a slot and $1 is painted below it. ;D There is a large knob in the center and a larger slot near the bottom. ::) ::) ::) Along the top is the word, "PROPHYLACTIC." ::)
Delmonico says, "Ya put a silver dollar in the slot and turn the knop. A percussion cap box with a Weinerwurst casing with one end tied with a silk thread in a percussion cap tin drops out the bottom slot. The fellars that bought the Drive-Inn can put these in the privy's, not olny will they make money sellin' them, if these couples have to get married, they are gonna stay home and eat supper." ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on April 30, 2006, 01:17:50 PM
Delmonico comes out of the workshp with a nicely finished wooden box, near the top left hand corner is a slot and $1 is painted below it. ;D There is a large knob in the center and a larger slot near the bottom. ::) ::) ::) Along the top is the word, "PROPHYLACTIC." ::)
Delmonico says, "Ya put a silver dollar in the slot and turn the knop. A percussion cap box with a Weinerwurst casing with one end tied with a silk thread in a percussion cap tin drops out the bottom slot. The fellars that bought the Drive-Inn can put these in the privy's, not olny will they make money sellin' them, if these couples have to get married, they are gonna stay home and eat supper." ;D
"An' then the profits go down. Good idear. Let's keep 'em single so that the fellers keep visitin' the buggy hop. Maybe even ever' day the week, each time wif different guests. ;D However, dontcha thank $1 is a bit steep?"
<Author's Note: Nope that was the aprox. price for such a thing back in the 1880's and they came in a tin box. ;D>
Delmonico packs up his device and ships it to the Drive-Inn france-ice. ;D He heads to the house and decides he's hungry and starts lookin' round the kitchen and pantry fer sumthin' to fix fer supper. ;)
"Don' fergit 'bout me!" Can be heard from the porch outside.
Delmonico grabs a ham and slices off pieces and fries them, he gets a dozen eggs and makes them over easy. He puts half on one plate and half on the other and puts plenty of his famous pepper sauce on the eggs and heads out to the porch.
"Here, I put plenty of ma pepper sauce on the eggs, you ain't a whimp like Slim, he smellt ma sauce once and cried the rest of the day." :o :o ;D ;)
Trinity tilts his head back and lets the contents of the plate slide into his mouth. He chews twice and swallows. Next he goes to the icebox for a couple cool bottles of beer which he brewed yesterday. "That shore was tasty. Ah'll agree it were a tad warm, but nothin' a beer kain' he'p. Got any more?"
just as the door closes on the icebox and Trinity is just starting to have a gulp of his beer.
MEOWWWWWWWWWWWW.
Slims cat squalls and has to be saved, he just wanted some of that potted meat in the icebox.
"Awwww, poor kitty! Lemme help ya... What's this? Oooh. Thanks fer pointin' that out." Trinity dips a finger in the small can and scoops out the remainder and eats it.
"Now, that there is human food, not kitty cat food. Less go outside whar ya kin mebbe fin' a mouse or sumpin lahk that.' ;D
Together the two go outside. Trinity climbs into his hammock and finishes the beer and opens the second while the cat bounds down the steps into the yard.
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D>>>>>>>>>>>leaves paper towels for the next viewer.
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on April 30, 2006, 07:43:24 AM
I seen that picture of Slim, hanging in the hallway back befor he had all them kids, back when he was a young man, he was a wearing some kinda sporting outfit. he had a big S stitched to his shirt, I guess for Slim, that was a lot of kids ago.
(http://www.cascity.com/forumhall/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=974.0;attach=6187;image)
<Arthur's note: If ya didn't know, George was in some Hoppy movies 'fore he was Superman.>
Quote from: Delmonico on April 29, 2006, 10:57:54 AM
"Didn't say he don't help, but when was the last time he took a herd to the railroad and sold them? ;D ;D If'n I remember right, the only herd he drove to the railroad was his his herd of hogs." ;)
Slim rides in from the Norteast. "I didn't know I was supposed ta take the beeves ta the railroad. I thought ya just let 'em graze and ya ride around lookin' at 'em." ::) ::) ::)
Quote from: litl rooster on April 30, 2006, 07:32:24 PM
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D>>>>>>>>>>>leaves paper towels for the next viewer.
<Arthur's note: Thanks, Litl Rooster.> ;D ;D ;D
Delmonico saddles up his mule Reuben and says, "I'm gonna take the check for my Drive-Inn France-ice and deposit it in the bank at Dunning. I'm gonna then take the train to Omaha and do some shoppin'. :o :o I'll be back in a few days, hold down the ranch while I'm gone. Ya can tell Stoney Pete he can come in from the range, it'll most likely be quiet while I'm gone." ::)
Well..the ol' Farmer's Almanac sez it is time to start plowin' and plantin' the corn. I get to test out the new mule team and plow that Santa Del bought me for Christmas last year! ;D
As Delmonico heads east down the Dismal he hollors, "If ya all be good while I'm gone I'll bring ya a surprise." ::) ::) :o :o ;D ;D :D :D ;)
"OOOH! A SUR-prise!(http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/happy/17.gif)(http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/happy/17.gif)"
Careful Trinity, tha last surprize Del give ya had Castor Oil in it! ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on May 01, 2006, 07:16:07 PM
Ya can tell Stoney Pete he can come in from the range, it'll most likely be quiet while I'm gone." ::)
Heard said from upstairs "I've been in my room most the weekend. I came home to get some peace and quiet." ::)
Having slept all through Monday, Stoney comes down fixes some breakfast (withOUT Del's sauce) and takes it and some coffee out to the porch. "Del was right about one thing, it's quiet with him gone." ;D
Slim grabs some coffee and grub, and joins Stoney on the porch to watch the sunrise. "Thanks fer the coffee and grub, Stoney."
Irish joins Stoney and Slim on the porch enjoying the quiet.
;D :D ;D
Delmonico rides into Dunning in the late afternoon, he puts Reuben up in the livery stable and boards the evening train to Omaha, via Grand Island and Lincoln. ;)
Settled in his Pullman car, Delmonico goes to the dinin' car and orders coleslaw, broiled Rocky Mountian trout and baked 'tator.
When the trout arrives, Delmonico looks it in the eye and knows it's fresh. :o ::) As he dig in with his fork for the cheek meat he says, "Here's lookin' at ya." ;D
"Well fellars, since someone finally tolt me that we'z supposed ta be takin' beeves ta the railhead and sellin' 'em, we probably should. I reckon it's time fer a roundup so we'z can brand, castrate, and drive the fattened beeves to the railhead. Who's with me?" ;D
Got nuthin better ta do, we kin get them beeves ta railhead an then blow off sum steam in Dunning! ;D
"Sounds good ta me."
Let me go out and catch my mule and get him saddled, get my rope, it's upstairs under ma bed, It'll take me a few minutes to get things together. get my case knife sharpened. and that bottle of disenfect. and Slim you and Stoney bring your branding irons.
They been out there quite a while, wonder how many of they is now that need to go to town.
"Sounds good, Ozark Tracker. It'll take us a bit ta git ready also." Tom, Stoney, and Slim start getting their gear together.
Stoney gathers his gear, saddles his horse, then sits back down on the porch waitin' on the rest of the men.
Slim shows up in his Poodle Skirt, but Delmonico don't have to see it cause he's made it to Omaha and checks into a hotel. In the mornin' he'll go shoppin'. :o :o ::)
(http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/happy/8.gif) Trinity looks over at Slim from the hammock and chuckles. "Ah would he'p ya wif dem beeves, but sin' ya got enough helpers, Ah'll jes stay here an' watch tha place, OK? <<SNARRRRX>>"
Ozark checks his saddle bags, let's see one bottle for snake bite, one for colds and another for just taking the dust outa the throat. a extra box of shells, whet rock. couple extra kerchiefs,
gonna havta remind the boys to grab a bucket when we go to cutting the bulls, we gonna have a feast after that. good ole mountain osyters.
Delmonico goes to a nice resteraunt and orders a butter basted 24 oz Porterhouse. Gets a lettuce salad, and new peas and 'tators on the side. When he's done with that he gets a large wdge of gooseberry pie with a scoop a 'niller ice cream. ;D
Playing on Delmonico's coil oil computer while he's in Dunning, Trinity suddenly gasps loudly. He shouts out for anybody to hear: "Oh boy! Loooky what Ah done found!"
Trinity looks at all the pictures and drools on the keyboard.
Looky (http://www.pottedmeatmuseum.com/)
now who woulda thunk they had a museam for potted meat, reckon they give out samples if you go an visit.
Delmonico is sleepin' in his hotel room, when suddenly he awakes screamin'. ;D :o ::) Fully awake he realizes it was just a nightmare, he goes back to sleep sayin' to himself, "There is no Potted Meat museum, the world can't be that strange." ;D :o :o :o :o
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on May 03, 2006, 07:36:16 PM
Ozark checks his saddle bags, let's see one bottle for snake bite, one for colds and another for just taking the dust outa the throat. a extra box of shells, whet rock. couple extra kerchiefs,
Followin' OT example, Stoney aquires a couple jugs from Trinity for "medicinal purposes" and a couple jugs for a sleep aide.
"Slim, since you will probably be takin' the "mighty 10", I'll leave my sxs behind and take the Sharps. Might be I could get us some meat along the way without havin' to cut into the profits."
Irish hitches up the Percheron's to the wagon and loads supplies fer tha cattle drive, er walk, to Dunning. He ties his cutting horse to the tailgate and pulls the wagon into the yard to wait on the others.
Slim looks at his clothes. "Oops. :-[ Grabbed the wrong clothes. I got ta git rid of all those badly shorn sheep skirts and sweaters. ::)" He goes back to his room and changes into his roundup clothes. He comes outta the house with warbags and "Mighty Ten". He climbs in the saddle. "Let's move out boys." He rides toward the herd.
<Author's Note: Slim's "Roundup" clothes start to kill the grass and weeds everywhere he goes.>
<Nuther Note: My 'polagies to Monsanto.> ;D ::)
::) ;D
<Arthur's note: Who needs the paper towels?>
Delmonico heads for the wholesale grocery stores down by the river and railroad. He buys cases of canned millk, seafood, 'maters and most of the other fruits and veggies, 'cept corn, no use eatin' somethin' that looks the same when it comes out as when it goes in. ::)
He arranges them to be shipped to Dunning. He also orders a bunch of lumber shipped out. :o He also orders bolts of fabric and sewin' notions. ::) Fact is he orders enough goods to stock a small store. ;D
As they head for the herd, Stoney takes a pull from one of the jugs he "aquired" from Trinity for medicinal purposes. "An ounce of prevention. Yep, that's what I call it." ;D
Ozark sees Stoney siping on a jug and decides he might outa get him a short swig just for the germs and bacteria in the air. he tucks the bottle back into the saddle bags and gives Dynamite his mule a little nudge, and tells him let's go move some beeves.
(authors note: the picture is of my grandad on his mule Dynamite around 1910)
Delmonico heads to the Omaha Post Office next, when he arrives there he conducts his bizzeness with the Post Master and leaves with a large package that he adds to his shipment to Dunning. ??? ;)
He then heads to a large gunshop and chooses about 25 firearms and plenty of common caliber ammunition. :o :o
He finds two very nice ones he adds to the bunch, a new to the market single shot rifle with a German Zeiss 10X scope. He also buys 500 brass cases for it, a large stock of primers, 200 pounds of lead, two bullet moulds and two 25 pound kegs of English Curtis and Harvey Fg powder. ;D
The other one is a 12 gauge double gun with no hammers. He also adds two cases of a new brand of German ammo for the shotgun. ;D
With the last of his purchases finished and added to his shipment, he heads to a fine resteraunt and has pot roast, and a fine hunk of lemon pie. ::)
When he is finished he heads to his hotel, gathers his bag and checks out, he then gets on the afternoon train and heads to Lincoln. ;D
Delmonico's train arrives at the CB&Q depot at 7th and P street.
<Author's note: Check it out, that's where it is, or at least the last time I went by it. Delmonico gets up, walks out to the street and climps on the hood of his pickup, yep it's still there.> ;D ::) ;)
He takes his bag and goes up the hill to 9th and P and gets a hotel room. (Humm, don't think it was a Holiday Inn back then like it is today) ::)
<Author's Note, I live at about West 6th and West Q street, the problem, you have to go a whole block to P. (Oops, there went litl roosters computor screen again. ::)>
Delmonico gets settled in his room and them heads up-town fer supper. ;)
after a full day of rounding up cows & calves, sorting, cutting, & branding, all the steers going to town are moved to the lower pasture and started on the trail to Dunning,
we gotta get em down the trail a bit, so they won't hear them momma cows bawling tonight, we'll proballyy have to have a couple of riders all night. don't want any of em trying to go home.
Trinity is busy guarding the house while a burgler slips in and steals Delmonico's entire cookbook collection and fills the ice box and cabinets with cheese food product.
As Delmonico is eatin' roast duck with wild rice stuffin' and 'spargus tips, he wonders what Slim is up to. Delmonico figgers he's finally going to roundup some steers and take them to Dunning to ship. As Delmonico orders a piece of cherry pie fer desert he wonders what kind of a fix Slim will get himself into over that. ;D
Delmonico goes back to the Lincoln Hotel and picks up the Lincoln Star and starts to read about a prairie fire out in the sandhills that is burnin' accross the hills. He reads where it was started by a roundup foreman who got careless with his brandin' fire out west of Dunning. ;D
Delmonico knows:
IT'S ALL SLIM'S FAULT!!!!
as the sun disappears beneath the horizon, the men start their rounds of the cattle, they look in the direction of the ranch and see a bright blaze in the distance.
I reckon Trinity decided to cook outside tonight. I heard him say something about carving out a spam hog and roasting it. but he sure did build a big fire.
(Trinity's carved spam hog herd)
Trinity enjoys playing with his Spam hog herd. His favorite part is when he lines them up and herds them into his mouth. Looking up in the direction of the roundup, Trinity notices the light of a very large fire.
"Hmm! Mus' be Slim's fault."
While Trinity is playing with his Spam Hogs, the burglar, who can't read, return the cookbooks cause there aint no pictures, and then goes to the fridge and steals all of Trinity's potted meat product.
Delmonico is sure glad he plowed firebreaks around the ranch and burnt the grass in-between. Of course folks who get burnt out in the wake of Slim's prairie fire might just be lookin' fer some rope. ;D
Delmonico goes to the Livery Stable at 13th and M (where the 20 story bank is today ;D) and rents a buggy and heads out to the University of Newbrassky Ag-ri-culture Collage out Northeast of town, he has a great idea he wants to check on. ::) ::) ;D
Stoney was carefull to keep his "medicine" jugs clear of the fire. The resulting explosion could...an idea strikes him.
Pete grabs the open jug and takes on long pull of liquid courage, then he rides strait for the fire. Kissing the remaining jug goodbye he hurls it toward the flames.
The resulting explsion knocks him from his horse. When the dust settled it had worked. The explosion had consumed the air so fast the fire was snuffed out.
Stoney turns to see Slim, Tom and Ozark turning the herd as the sound had caused a stampeed.
"This resembles verk. I shoulda stayed home on the porch." Stoney opens another jug to soothe the burns. He returns to camp sayin', "Let's git these beast to market afore we all get kilt."
<Authors Note: Ya been watchin' John Wayne in the "Hellfighters again."> ::)
Delmonico finishes up at the Ag collage and leaves with a package, he takes his buggy back to town and leaves it back at the Livery Stable. He goes to the hotel, packs his back anfd goes to the depot and catches the west-bound train. :o
His plans was to stop in Grand Island for the night, but he figgers he'd best get home and try to protect Slim from being lynched. ::)
Quote from: Delmonico on May 05, 2006, 11:28:19 AM
<Authors Note: Ya been watchin' John Wayne in the "Hellfighters again."> ::)
<Arthur's Note: I saw it years ago. Good movie.>
Quote from: Delmonico on May 05, 2006, 11:28:19 AM
<Authors Note: Ya been watchin' John Wayne in the "Hellfighters again."> ::)
<I ain't seen it in years, but that's where the idear came from. ;D >
After getting the steers turned and settled down, Slim, Tom & Ozark go to check on the hole left by the explosion, Well we got a new watering hole to use on the way to Dunning now, when that thing fills up water, it'll be a pretty good swimming hole too.
Hitting the trail again, the steers settle into a steady pace, Ozark takes out his jew's harp and begin's to twang away,Slim starts to hum along, then Stoney and Tom start to sing,
Well, I hit the trail in 69, with the herd strung out behind me, I never thought I'd get back again to the girl I left behind me
Stoney and Tom's singing eventually starts another stampede, and Slim, Tom, Stoney, and Ozark are mighty tired by the time the get things calmed down again. They might need to make camp and head for Dunning in the morning.
Delmonico's train stops at Grand Island and then pulls out of the station with Delmonico still one it. It heads up the Middle Loup Valley for it's stop in Dunning later in the evening. ;D
That coffee is sure good after a long day on the trail, Ozark gets another handful of saltine crackers to go along with that hugh block of cheese that Slim brought. he goes over to his saddlebag and asks if anybody would like a can of the potted meat, I brought along a few cans just in case we needed it.
maybe tomorrow evening we can be sitting down to a big ole steak dinner, we should have them beeves in the stockyards early tomorrow. then they be sombody else's problem!
I reckon I'll rest a bit afore it comes my turn to watch them steers.
Delmonico's train pulls into Dunning
And he got him a room for the night
He lay there in silence too much on his mind
Still hopin' that he wasn't right.
He found Slim that evenin' in a tavern in town
In a quiet little out of the way place
He smiled to himself as Delmonico walked through the door
And Delmonico took away all his matches. ;D
<Author's Note: My 'polagies to Willie.> ::)
Delmonico goes to the resteraunt and gets eggs and pork chops fer breakfast. He goes down to the freight office and make 'rangements to haul his goods out to the ranch when they arrive. ::)
He gets his bag and his gun cases and heads to the livery stable and gets Reuben out of hock. ;D
He ties the cases to the saddle and heads toward the ranch. ::) After takin' away Slim's matches, he tolt Delmonico that the rest of the guys was bringin' a herd to Dunning. By careful plannin' Slim had made sure they would have to do the herdin' cause after his supper and drinks, Slim had headed to Wissy-consion. ::)
Delmonico sees a herd from the rise of a hill. He figgers that it is The Rance With No Name herd by the way it is all strung out and scattered. ;D Delmonico checks it out with his field glasses and sees Stoney Pete ridin' along eatin' a samwhich. He figgers it Potted Meat Product. :P
Delmonico has things to do back at the ranch so he drops back down and heads down a different valley. ::) ;) They're close enough to town by know they ought to make it.
Of course what they are going to do with the cattle once they get there is beyond him since the CB&Q shippin' pens are futher south-east of them at Anselmo. ;D ;D ::) ::) :o :o ;)
Delmonico comes to a very large place of several thousand acres that is burnt bare. ::) He skakes his head and is glad he took the matches away from Slim. As he rides though the burnt area, he is surprised to see a hole several acres in size, slowly filling up with groundwater. ;D
with the herd on the trail early this morning, ( Slim failed to show up last night, so we couldn't build a fire this morning, he has the matches, So no coffe.) we may have made a slight direction mistake so no Dunning in sight but there is a camp in the distance with smoke coming up from the fire, the fellars tighten up the herd and keep a moving, a rider approches from the dirction of the camp,
Delmonico gets to the ranch and puts Reuben in the barns and feeds and waters him. He heads to the house with his two heavy gun cases and gets to the front door and finds it locked. ::) Delmonico realizes he don't have his key, he don't carry it cause they never locked it before, fact nobody locks a door round here. ;)
As Delmonico is pryin' open a window he wonders who could have locked it, then he thinks, Stoney Pete did it, he's from back east where they lock their doors. ;D
Turns out the rider was a scout from a group of businessmen from New York City who is taking a tour of the northern plains. the scout has just brokered a deal with an Indian tribe for the use of several thousand acres. the New Yoork business men seeing the herd of cattle, decide they should be raising cattle on the land and make an offer for the herd of almost 3 times the amount Slim thought we should get, and a wagon load of potted meat ( which the businessmen bought for the trip and didn't like) Tom, Pete and Ozark think about it for a little bit and decide to sell the herd. even thought they are all steers, ( the busiiness men from NewYork city don't know the difference,) with the gold in their new strongbox the fellars finally find Dunning and go to the bank and deposit the proceeds and go over to ms Collinswood's to get a bath and a shave.
with the money in the bank, for the ranch, the fellars meet out side ms coolinswood after the bath and shave (leastwise for the ones of us who shave), I told that fellar driving the potted meat wagon to take it to the ranch and ask for Trintiy, he'll know what to do with that much potted meat.
they decide to find the biggest steaks in town tonight, and all the trimmings
With his gear put in his room, Delmonico goes to the shop and gets a pane of window glass and putty's in the new one to replace the one he broke gettin' in the house. ::) He then cleans up the glass. ;D ;D
He then goes to the rifle case and gets out one a the two bullet moulds and goes down to the shop and gets some lead out of the stock and starts up the forge. When the forge is goin' he puts on the lead pot and gets the lead melted and starts castin' bullets, 550 gr 45's. :o :o :o ::) ;)
<<Arthurs note. Stoney don't lock doors. Sides please note that Trinity wuz left to protect the place. more importantly we all know It's Slim's fault.>>
After Delmonico gets done castin' bullets he comes into the house and notices Trinity asleep on the couch. ;D ;D ;D
<Authors Note: So much has went wrong around here latley that's been Slim's fault I thought someone else should take some of the blame.> ::)
Quote from: Delmonico on May 06, 2006, 12:22:57 PM
Delmonico comes to a very large place of several thousand acres that is burnt bare. ::) He skakes his head and is glad he took the matches away from Slim. As he rides though the burnt area, he is surprised to see a hole several acres in size, slowly filling up with groundwater. ;D
<<Trinity's note: Mah likker is strong enough ta put out a earl well fahr, but Ah din't know it were that strong! :o :o ;D ;D>>
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on May 05, 2006, 03:20:20 PM
Stoney and Tom's singing eventually starts another stampede, and Slim, Tom, Stoney, and Ozark are mighty tired by the time the get things calmed down again. They might need to make camp and head for Dunning in the morning.
"Good thang them yankees bought them beeves, 'cause them's gonna too much muscle ta be edible. An' Ah shore am thankful that thar's potted meat product in tha house agin!"
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/Other%20Stuff/097.jpg)(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/Other%20Stuff/098.jpg)
Rummaging in the wagonload of potted meat, Trinity shouts out: "YUM! Ah kain' believe what Ah just foun. Lil rooster! Come quickly!!! Ah'll bet them yankees is just sittin' roun' their ranch plumb angry they let a treaure lahk this slip outta their hands.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/Other%20Stuff/079.jpg)
Sod Buster comes riding into the yard with a bottle of rye in his saddlebags. He rides up to Trinity and says "I heard it is your brother, Bambino's birthday today. I thought he would enjoy this bottle. If'n you see him please give this to him. If you don't see him, feel free to drink it yourself!" ;D "By the way...have you seen Lit'l Rooster lately? I need to know if he still wants to use some of my land for his cattle. My spread was spared from that fire and I've got some good grass. If he don't want to use it, I guess I will plow it up and plant more corn. I can even use the sod to build an addition to the Soddy." ;D
Quote from: Sod Buster on May 06, 2006, 07:13:24 PM
Sod Buster comes riding into the yard with a bottle of rye in his saddlebags. He rides up to Trinity and says "I heard it is your brother, Bambino's birthday today. I thought he would enjoy this bottle. If'n you see him please give this to him. If you don't see him, feel free to drink it yourself!" ;D "By the way...have you seen Lit'l Rooster lately? I need to know if he still wants to use some of my land for his cattle. My spread was spared from that fire and I've got some good grass. If he don't want to use it, I guess I will plow it up and plant more corn. I can even use the sod to build and addition to the Soddy." ;D
Trinity opens the rye and drinks it all and says: "Since Ah ain' seen Bambino in quite a whahl, Ah'll drank it... Thanks! Oh, don' worry bout litl rooster. His sangin' is scarin' all th cattle away, so jus' plant corn fer me!" ;D ;D ;D ;D
with a belly full of steak, mashed taters and all the trimmings the fellars have a drink in the saloon and talk of tomorrow, wheather to start out for the ranch in the morning or make a few side trips on the way back.
I hope when that potted meat gets to the ranch, Trinity does something with that hot sause that was in the wagon, they was 2 cases of it, said right on the side MADE IN NEW YORK CITY, Del would have a fit ifin he seen it.
Everyone hears Delmonico say from the house: "Git a rope!"
Quote from: Trinity on May 06, 2006, 08:19:49 PM
Trinity opens the rye and drinks it all and says: "Since Ah ain' seen Bambino in quite a whahl, Ah'll drank it... Thanks! Oh, don' worry bout litl rooster. His sangin' is scarin' all th cattle away, so jus' plant corn fer me!" ;D ;D ;D ;D
Bambino rides up, looks at the empty bottle of Rye, shakes his head and smacks Trinity on top of the head.
Disgusted, he leaves, but not before taking the percherons (withed cotton stuffed ears) and da sheep. Da sheep is bound like a small calf at the rodeo and is dragged behind Bambino's horse.
Trinity lays unconscious in the yard.
Delmonico steps over Trinity and goes to his room and gets the package from the University of Newbrassky Ag Collage and gives it to Sodbuster. Here, this is a new strain of popcorn they have developed, they say it should grow good out here. ;D
Quote from: Bambino on May 06, 2006, 10:41:05 PM
Disgusted, he leaves, but not before taking the percherons (withed cotton stuffed ears) and da sheep.
<<Bambino is havin' dilusions again. The percherons are out with Tom on the way to Dunning>>
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on May 04, 2006, 04:54:53 AM
Irish hitches up the Percheron's to the wagon and loads supplies fer tha cattle drive, er walk, to Dunning. He ties his cutting horse to the tailgate and pulls the wagon into the yard to wait on the others.
Trinity pulls himself up out of the dirt and rubs his head. "Ow! Mah brother was here, weren't he!?" Rushing into the barn, Trinity sags "An' Irish's extry horses is gone too. He's shore gonna be mad! Uh oh! Pea Eye is gone. Ah hope Bambino din' take him too. ... Oh well, tahm fer breakfast." ;D ;D
Since Trinity slept through Delmonico tryin' to get in the house, Delmonico makes him a spinach quiche fer breakfast. ;D :P
Alone in the kitchen, Trinity looks down at Delmonico's dish, wich resembles vomit. "Real men don' eat quiche!" Trinity throws the platter out the window and finds a ham in the icebox to gnaw on.
Delmonico says, "That don't 'spain why you didn't eat it." ::)
"Done been 'splaint eee-nough! Ugh."
Delmonico shakes his head and wonders how them guys is doin' in Dunning. He figgers they are safe if they get out of their before Slim comes back in the mornin'. If he gets there they will get into some sort of trouble.
Cause it's all Slim's Fault.
Quote from: Bambino on May 06, 2006, 10:41:05 PM
Bambino rides up, looks at the empty bottle of Rye, shakes his head and smacks Trinity on top of the head.
Disgusted, he leaves, but not before taking the percherons (withed cotton stuffed ears) and da sheep. Da sheep is bound like a small calf at the rodeo and is dragged behind Bambino's horse.
;D :D ;D
Marshall Who's been glassing all this, grabs His Browning Highwall N saddles Da Sheep, ( the real one) We were down here at the DCR (Dynomite Chicken Ranch).
Sets up on The Grassy Knoll. Shoots Lillle Baby, creases His Thicvk Skull, knocks Him out cold. Sceond shot shoot the rope binding the sheep freeing him, Third shot frees Peaeye.
don't see no percherons here, wonder what Lil Roster will do to Bambino--Lil Rooster don't like sheep, but hate horse thieve even more. :o
Sheep goes over to bambino, voids on his face, N leaves a bunch of little green balls ;D :D ;D
Pea Eye drags bambino back to the Ranch with No Name.
Marshall saddles up with His new sheep n heads back to the DCR.
<<What? No Dyn-o-mite?? ;D ;D ;) 8)>>
Delmonico looks at the High-Wall and know it is a 22WCF, cause he was High-Wall shoppin' in Omaha and has one up in his room in the case. ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on May 07, 2006, 01:55:05 PM
Delmonico looks at the High-Wall and know it is a 22WCF, cause he was High-Wall shoppin' in Omaha and has one up in his room in the case. ;D
;D :D ;D
Mine is 45/70 they were made in manny calibrers. ;D
Delmonico looks out at the pasture where the musk thistles are growin' where the sheep cut the grass to low. ;D He gets an Idea and goes and cuts a bunch of them down and burns them in one of Trinity's stills. ::) Delmonico catch's the oily substance that comes out of the worm in a bucket.
He takes this back to the kitchen, mixes it with some 'mater sauce, sorghum molasses and some spices and onions and simmers it fer several hours. ::) He then bottles it and lables it:
Delmonico's Musk Thistle BBQ Sauce
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ::) ;)
Quote from: Delmonico on May 07, 2006, 01:55:05 PM
Delmonico looks at the High-Wall and know it is a 22WCF, cause he was High-Wall shoppin' in Omaha and has one up in his room in the case. ;D
"In that case, then it were pure fantasy that Bambino's haid were creased. Ya could hit his thick haid with mortar and only make his eyelid twitch.
Delmonico looks again at the winchester Single Shot of the sheep herder and realizes it ain't even a High-Wall, it done be a Low-Wall and a carbine to boot, heck it's even only got the single trigger and just a buckhorn sight. ;D ;D ;D
Delmonico looks at the Winchester again as the sheep herder peeks into the window, yep a Low-Wall carbine in 22WCF. ::)
Quote from: Trinity on May 07, 2006, 01:52:13 PM
<<What? No Dyn-o-mite?? ;D ;D ;) 8)>>
;D :D ;D
Its right under Yer still. :o
;D :D ;D
Tom, Pete and Ozark come walking out the potted meat museam, dog gone, Ozark says, I never thought about that much potted meat afore. Why they'd a had to remove Trinity forcibly if n he'd been here.
I guess we can take back some of these samples and Trinity can eat to his hearts content.
Do you reckon Slim has made it back to the ranch yet, I hope he brings some more of that cheese. We might outa pick up a barrel of Saltines just in case.
Trinity's disembodied voice whispers to them that white bread goes best with potted meat food product. ;D ;D ;D ;D
coming out of the general store, Ozark loads up the cracker barrel and few loaves of White Enriched sliced bread, and a new phoeygraph recording.
That was the oddest thing when I was in the store, I kept hearing this voice saying something, but I couldn't quite make it out,
Kept sounding like white bread or grateful dead so I just got both.
Dail!? What's fer dinner? Want me ta open a can of potted meat?
Delmonico takes the can of potted meat product and says, "I'll use this later" He gets a couple of big ole sirloin steaks and gets the grill hot and sizzles them a bit, the moves the grill to a cooler part of the stove and lets them cook slow with some melted butter to baste and just a bit of salt, plus some fresh cracked pepper.
As the steaks are cookin' Delmonico is singin' in the kitchen:
Well the first days are the hardest days, don't you worry any more,
'Cause when life looks like Easy Street, there is danger at your door.
Think this through with me, let me know your mind,
Wo, oh, what I want to know, is are you kind?
It's a buck dancer's choice my friend; better take my advice.
You know all the rules by now and the fire from the ice.
Will you come with me? Won't you come with me?
Wo, oh, what I want to know, will you come with me?
Goddamn, well I declare, have you seen the like?
Their wall are built of cannonballs, their motto is "Don't tread on me".
Come hear Uncle John'n Band playing to the tide,
Come with me, or go alone, he's come to take his children home.
It's the same story the crow told me; it's the only one he knows.
Like the morning sun you come and like the wind you go.
Ain't no time to hate, barely time to wait,
Wo, oh, what I want to know, where does the time go?
I live in a silver mine and I call it Beggar's Tomb;
I got me a violin and I beg you call the tune,
anybody's choice, I can hear your voice.
Wo, oh, what I want to know, how does the song go?
Come hear Uncle John's Band by the riverside,
Got some things to talk about, here beside the rising tide.
Come hear Uncle John's Band playing to the tide,
Come on along, or go alone, he's come to take his children home.
Wo, oh, what I want to know, how does the song go.
Looking forward to the steaks, Trinity begins to sing too:
Oh, Dixie, the land of King Cotton,
The home of the brave and the free;
A nation by freedom begotten,
The terror of despots to be.
Wherever thy banner is streaming,
Base tyranny quails at thy feet;
And liberty's sunlight is beaming
In splendor of majesty sweet.
CHORUS: Then three cheers for our Army so true,
Three cheers for our President too;
May our banner triumphantly wave
Over Dixie, the land of the brave!
When Liberty sounds her war rattle,
Demanding her right and her due,
The first land to rally to battle
Is Dixie, the home of the true.
Thick as leaves of the forest in summer,
Her brave sons will rise on each plain
And then strike till each vandal comer
Lies dead on the soil he would stain.
CHORUS
May the names of the dead that we cherish
Fill memory's cup to the brim;
May the laurels we've won never perish,
Nor our stars of their glory grow dim.
May our states of the South never sever
But companions of freedom e'er be;
May they flourish Confed'rate forever,
The boast of the brave and the free.
CHORUS
Delmonico tosses Trinity's steak to Duke and hands him a plate of grits instead. ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on May 07, 2006, 10:21:58 PM
Delmonico tosses Trinity's steak to Duke and hands him a plate of grits instead. ;D
(http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/happy/8.gif)
Slim rides into the yard and puts his horse in the barn. He gathers eggs and milch. He takes the eggs, milch, warbags, and "Mighty Ten" into the house. He puts the perishables in the icebox. He yells, "Is anyone home?" He thinks to himself, "Did the boys get the beeves ta the railhead and sell 'em? Did they git a good price? Did they spend all the money in one place? ;D Where are they now? Is Charlie ever gonna git off the MTA?" ::)
"Don't know, ain't seen them since Sat-er-day when they was almost there. Ya ought ta seem my new shotgun I gots in Omaha and the neat German shells." Delmonico goes and gets the gun case, "it's a 12 gauge Parker and it ain't got no hammers to cock. ;D And look at this." Delmonico loads the gun on the porch, he fires it and there is no smoke. ;D He opens it with the top lever and both empties land on the porch at Slim's feet. ::)
"Some German army Capitain named Schulz invented this new powder fer shotshells. Will be able to shoot a lot more ducks this fall not being blinded by smoke." ::)
"Not cocking the hammers and no smoke? :o :o :o :o That just ain't right!" ;D ;D ;D ;D
Delmonico says, "next thing ya know you'll want to go back ta loadin' it from the front-end." ::)
"Nope. I like the self-contained cartridges. Specially when the badins are comin' fast and furious."
Quote from: Delmonico on May 07, 2006, 10:21:58 PM
Delmonico tosses Trinity's steak to Duke and hands him a plate of grits instead. ;D
Trinity wrestles duke for the steak and wins (but has a gash here and a scratch there plus a few puncture marks from Dukes teeth). Staring back at Duke, Trinity goes to the hammock and enjoys his fine meal of steak and grits. ;D ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on May 07, 2006, 12:09:53 AM
Delmonico steps over Trinity and goes to his room and gets the package from the University of Newbrassky Ag Collage and gives it to Sodbuster. Here, this is a new strain of popcorn they have developed, they say it should grow good out here. ;D
Sod Buster arrives home with the package from Del. He had tried growin' pop corn back home in ol' Virginny but it didn't take. Perhaps this variety will work better. There is still plenty of land to plow so there is plenty of room for this crop. Since there is plenty of land still and there was a recent prairie fire, perhaps Sod Buster can also go into the Sod Farm business. Anyone that needs some grass can come here. What a concept! Sod Buster ponders on this while harnassing the mule team to the plow for the plantin. Hmmmmm....Sod Farm.........
A thought strikes Trinity while laying in his hammock. "Dail, didja give that funny pop-cone ta the stranger in the soddy? Ah wonner how it might change tha taste of mah squeezins."
Pete come riding in with OT and Tom, "I heading up to my room. See you all in the AM."
Delmonico makes pork chops with his "Musk Thistle BBQ Sauce" fer supper, long with some fried tatory and turnip green with smoked hog jowls. ;D And dried apricot pie fer dessert. ;)
He then gets out the long neglected fony-graf and puts on a wax cylinder by some fella name a Guy Clark. ;)
The old gunfighter on the porch
stared into the sun
and relived the days of living by the gun
when deadly games of pride were played
and living was mistakes not made
and the thought of the smell of the black powder smoke
and the stand in the street at the turn of a joke
Ah, the smell of the black powder smoke
and the stand in the street at the turn of a joke
It's always keep your back to the sun
and he can almost feel the weight of the gun
it's faster than snakes or the blink of an eye
and it's a time for all slow men to die
and his eyes get squinty and his fingers twitch
and he empties the gun at the son of a bitch
and he's hit by the smell of the black powder smoke
and the stand in the street at the turn of a joke
hit by the smell of the black powder smoke
and the stand in the street at the turn of a joke
Now the burn of a bullet is only a scar
he's back in his chair in front of the bar
and the streets are empty and the blood's all dried
and the dead are dust and the whiskey's inside
so buy him a drink and lend him an ear
he's nobody's fool and the only one here
who remembers the smell of the black powder smoke
and the stand in the street at the turn of a joke
remember the smell of the black powder smoke
and the stand in the street at the turn of a joke
He said I stood in that street before it was paved
learned shoot or be shot before I could shave
and I did it all for the money and fame
noble was nothing but feeling no shame
and nothing was sacred but stayin' alive
and all that I learned from a Colt 45
was to curse the smell of the black powder smoke
and the stand in the street at the turn of a joke
curse the smell of the black powder smoke
and the stand in the street at the turn of a joke
Now he's just an old man that no one believes
says he's a gunfighter, the last of the breed
and there are ghosts in the street seeking revenge
calling him out to the lunatic fringe
now he's out in the traffic checking the sun
and he's killed by a car as he goes for his gun
So much for the smell of the black powder smoke
and the stand in the street at the turn of a joke
so much for the smell of the black powder smoke
and the stand in the street at the turn of a joke
As that one ends, Delmonico puts on another one;
I played the Red River Valley
He'd sit in the kitchen and cry
Run his fingers through seventy years of livin'
And wonder, "Lord, why has every well I've drilled gone dry?"
We were friends, me and this old man
We's like desperados waitin' for a train
Desperados waitin' for a train
He's a drifter, a driller of oil wells
He's an old school man of the world
He taught me how to drive his car when he was too drunk to
And he'd wink and give me money for the girls
And our lives was like, some old Western movie
Like desperados waitin' for a train
Like desperados waitin' for a train
From the time that I could walk he'd take me with him
To a bar called the Green Frog Cafe
There was old men with beer guts and dominos
Lying 'bout their lives while they played
I was just a kid, they all called me "Sidekick"
Just like desperados waitin' for a train
Like desperados waitin' for a train
One day I looked up and he's pushin' eighty
He's got brown tobacco stains all down his chin
Well to me he was a hero of this country
So why's he all dressed up like them old men
Drinkin' beer and playin' Moon and Forty-two
Jus' like desperados waitin' for a train
Like a desperado waitin' for a train
The day 'fore he died I went to see him
I was grown and he was almost gone.
So we just closed our eyes and dreamed us up a kitchen
And sang one more verse to that old song
(spoken) Come on, Jack, that son-of-a-bitch is comin'
We're desperados waitin' for a train
Was like desperados waitin' for a train
Ozark takes his saddlebags into the house to his room then turns and goes back to the porch to tell Trinity that they have been to the potted meat museam. he brings down all the sample cans so trinity can try varietys from all over the world. After visiting with Trinity a little bit, Ozark goes back out to his mule Dynamite, and starts the trip to sodbusters,
since he gives us a lot of the veggies and other good food, Ozark has picked up a new implement to make sodbusters work a little easier. it's got some of them new fangled tires.
:o Trinity is in awe after hearing about their visit to the Potted Meat Museum and has already tried three varieties before OT makes it to his room.
Ozark hurries back home after delivering Sodbusters new riding breaking plow. He also picked up litl rooseter a new toy, he figures with him out chasing da sheep all over the country he needs him a racing chariot, that way he can make ole pea eye the wheel horse and get another good horse and then he can just tell pea eye what he wants to do and use both hands for shooting and such.
well I guess I got 2 of them, oh well Trinity can have the other one and we can have chariot races on Sunday's out at the new pond created by Stoney when he put out the fire.
We might even get some people from town to come down and bet money on the race.
"Ah bet a jug on tha raid one!"
what are you thinking? your betting a whole jug on a horse race. You must really think he's a good n
Trinity, when I was up to town, I also picked up a new shotgun for Slim, I know he's got the mighty 10 but with all them girls he's a raising I figured he might need one with alittle more powder in it to fight them boys off when they get al little older.
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on May 08, 2006, 08:35:37 PM
Trinity, when I was up to town, I also picked up a new shotgun for Slim, I know he's got the mighty 10 but with all them girls he's a raising I figured he might need one with alittle more powder in it to fight them boys off when they get al little older.
That one should make plenty of thunder, fire, and smoke. What gauge is it? double-0 ??
Quote from: Sod Buster on May 08, 2006, 08:39:12 PM
That one should make plenty of thunder, fire, and smoke. What gauge is it? double-0 ??
(authors note) well I really don't know what it would be? it's an inch and a quarter inside bore. thought it'd be fun to hang in the loading room.
Delmonico comes into the kitchen after workin' fer several hours on his coal oil computor, he gets a snack and sees that everyone has went to bed. ;D
Delmonico has been up fer a couple hours makin' breakfast. Since he was the last one to bed he figgers someone else would be up by now. ;D With ham and eggs and coffee ready and know one to eat it, Delmonico gives it all but what he eats to Duke. ::)
Slim is glad to see everyone got back safely and they didn't spend all the money in one place. "By the by, Del, that fellar was singin' about cars. What are they? ???" ;D
Slim jumps on Duke and wrastles him fer some breakfast. Duke and Slim are biting each other to see who gets breakfast. :o ;D
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on May 08, 2006, 08:35:37 PM
Trinity, when I was up to town, I also picked up a new shotgun for Slim, I know he's got the mighty 10 but with all them girls he's a raising I figured he might need one with alittle more powder in it to fight them boys off when they get al little older.
<Arthur's note: I think that might do the trick. ;D>
here's the first one he carved it out of a tree that them arborist's left.. thought it might be good for floating out on a pond. but when he got it in big water he had to jump out and swim back to shore, I reckon it floated plumb across the ocean, Might have ended up in Germany or somwhere like that. don't know what they might do with it.
With everyone safely back at the Ranch With No Name the daily routine settles in again. Irish comes downstairs to see Slim rasslin with Duke fer breffest, Irish just gets some more fixins and makes a fresh batch a eggs, ham, n biscuits and eats it while he watches the show.
Delmonico takes his new Winchester single shot with the 10X Zeiss scope out and shows it to Slim, the double-set triggers really make it nice. ::) He fills the belt with loaded rounds, the 3 1/4 cases really look cool. But before he leaves just to show he can be a nice fella, he leaves 2 boxes of 22 WCF rounds outside the kitchen window for the window peekin' sheepherder and his Low-Wall carbine. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on May 08, 2006, 08:35:37 PM
Trinity, when I was up to town, I also picked up a new shotgun for Slim, I know he's got the mighty 10 but with all them girls he's a raising I figured he might need one with alittle more powder in it to fight them boys off when they get al little older.
"Ah like them foot pedals what fer ta cock that thang. ;D ;D ;D Ver' nahce indeed!"
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on May 08, 2006, 08:28:02 PM
what are you thinking? your betting a whole jug on a horse race. You must really think he's a good n
"Oh! Ah thought Ah could bet on tha cherry-ot, not tha horse. Ah bet on a raid cherry-ot, not a raid horse. Wif mah luck, thar prolly ain' gonna be a ches'nit horse attall an Ah lose!" :-[ :( ::)
While Slim and Duke are staring each other down, Trinity reaches in and takes all the bacon away. All that's left is firm egg whites and a mud of yellows and dirt from the ranchers boots.
Trinity, I think litl rooster has a couple of them race horses out in the side pasture, lets go get em and hook up to your chariot. if n you can learn the secert word for run, we'll send out a flyer for a race next sunday, over at the new lake. that thing is full of water and a great big ole lake,
LOS!!!! ??? ??? ;D
Delmonico gets back from his trip in the hills with an anter-lope across his saddle. While Slim and Duke are still fightin' over breakfast, Delmonico starts supper. ::)
"Ya want some potted meat wif bbq sauce?"
"Nope, no potted meat and not yer BBQ sauce, I'm a gonna grill these anter-lope steaks right here on my cast iron grill and I'm gonna use "Delmonico's Musk Thistle BBG Sauce" on it." ;D ;D
"Tejicans ain't gonna be the only ones to use pasture weeds in their BBQ. Fact is tommorow I's gonna go out and get a wagon load of sand burrs and expand the line." ::) :o ;)
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on May 08, 2006, 07:55:32 PM
Ozark has picked up a new implement to make sodbusters work a little easier. it's got some of them new fangled tires.
Sod Buster is still studin' this new "implement" that Ozark brought over. He has always had a walk-behind plow. This one has a seat for ridin'. What would his daddy back in ol' Virginny say if he know his son was sittin' down on the job? What will the neighbors say when the see him ridin' instead of walking behind the mules? He decides to try it out tomorrow and see.
After seeing how entertaining the rasslin between Duke and Slim was Irish decides he needs to tellygraf his friend back East, who is a fight promoter, with the idea fer a rasslin match, Del mumbles something about it would be more fun if they wuz wearin costumes. Irish decides to add Del's suggestion to the idea. Irish hears Del mumblin about makin more cookin sauce from sandburs and says if yer gonna sell it back East it'll need a slogan like, "Del's Simmerin Sandbur BBQ Sauce, it'll stick to yer ribs!" ;D
Good idea fer the sauce slogan. As fer 'rasslin' costume, Slim can wear the poodle skirt. ;D
Awakened by the rucus Stoney arrived just in time to see Trinity steal the bacon. ::) He head to the smoke house and gets some more.
Stoney cooks fresh eggs and is carefull to avoid the brawl tween Duke and Slim.
He head out to the porch for some peace and quiet.
Delmonico hitches up the wagon, puts on heavy boots, chaps and heavy gloves and heads out to pick sandburrs for his "Sandburr BBQ Sauce." ;D :o ::)
Slim hears the mention of a badly shorn sheep skirt and stops wrastlin' with Duke. :o "Stoney, ya got enough grub fer me?"
Duke takes advantage of the distraction and knocks Slim to the floor, then stands on him. Suddenly a feller in a black and white striped shirt runs in, slaps the floor, hollers "pin", and then holds Duke paw in the air, "Tha Winna!" Two of Ms. Collingwoods girls escort Duke out carrying a big trophy filled with money, then they strap a belt on Duke with a Giant buckle that sez Champeen!
Delmonico comes back with a large wagon load of sandburrs. He parks the wagon and fires up the Steam Traction Engine. When he has a full head of steam he backs it up to the threashin' machine, hooks up the belt and engages the PTO clutch. :o
He piles the sandburr plants on the ground and backs the wagon under the chute. With a pitch fork he starts feedin' the sandburrs into the machine and buurs come out one side and chaff comes out the other. ::) He says to himself, "sure beats ruinin' good saws cuttin' down mesquite in Texas." ;D ;D ;D
Slim yells at the man in the black and white striped shirt. "'Tweren't fair. Duke cheated!" >:( >:( >:( >:(
Ozark comes in from out in the barn.a pondering the sights,
there's Del forking sandburrs into the threashin machine, 2 girls escorting Duke through the yard with a big trophy, Slim a laying on the ground ( a napping I supose) some fellar with a big striped black and white shirt, standing there beside Slim.
Stoney a eating, (that looks good) and a terrible noise a coming from the side of the house, then he see's it only Trinity a eating.
Irish Tom a standing in doorway a looking at the sights,
Ozark thnks, guess everything is about normal, I think I'll ride over the race track and see how the works going on it.
Delmonico sneaks up behind Slim and drops a sandburr in the back of his trousers, the man in the stripe shirt calls foul, Delmonico grins and goes back to his threshin' while Slim starts thrashin'. ::) ;D
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Slim runs out the front door and down the road. :o
Ummm, there is plenty of food to go around, but you busy makin' noise. ;D ;)
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on May 10, 2006, 02:29:35 PM
Stoney a eating,...
I'm either eating or sleeping. Except when I'm drinking. ;D
Slim hears Stoney and comes running thru the kitchen grabbin' grub on his way outside. "Thanks."
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
While Slim is running, he holds the plate as if he wants to pass it off. Trinity takes it and begins eating. He mumbles a "Thanks" with his mouth full. ;D ;D ;D
Delmonico finishes his threasin' and Slim gets the burr out and finishes his thrashin'. Since there are rain clouds floatin' round in the sky, Delmonico tarps the wagon to protect his sandburrs. ::)
All afternoon he's had a big pot of anter-lope chile brewin', plenty hot like Slim likes it. ;D
Ozark comes riding in from the new water hole/race track, seeing that Del has a pot of chilli a cooking, he starts to clean up a little. he walks into the living room where Trinity is having a pre meal snack. reaching into his saddlebag he brings something out and announces here it is Trinity's chariott helmet, I got it from one of them waterbuffalo fellars.
Delmonico says, "leave the chili on the back of the stove to simmer, Slim will want some on his eggs in the morni'n" :o
When's the race O.T.?
Seeing the new "charirot helmet" Stoney slips into a dream state. He dreams of raiding villages and burning them. When he awakes he stumbles into the kitchen with a sudden desire to visit Norway, his ancestrial home.
"Where is Norway anyway?" he asks no one in particular.
Suddenly his eyes begin to water and the inside of his nostrals are burning. "What is that smell?" :o That's when he notices Del's concocktion on the back of the stove. "Del says Slim's gonne EAT that!? :-\ "RIP Slim."
Holding his breath as long as he could Stoney make coffee and eggs with some bacon. Care to not get anything from Del's pot in his food he goes out to the porch to eat. The food was tastlesss at first. Then as the fresh air clear his head, his sense of smell and taste slowly returned.
"Gonna be a good show onct Del put's that stuff inside Slim." ;D
Tom, if'n Trinity can figure out how to drive the chariot, they'll be on Sunday, he's been out there a praktizing, he's got it down to being able to go in a straight line. It's them 4 left turns that's giving him the problems. When he goes by the snack stands he keeps wanting to pull in. I think we gonna havta attach a snack tray to the chariot to keep him on the track. Thats the reason for the helmet, when you put it on you can only see straight ahead.
Stoney, what does one of them Norway's look like? Trinity's already got the raiding the kitchen, we don't want him a burning anything.
Delmonico fixes two plates of eggs, on fer him and one fer Slim, he puts plenty of his chili on both. ;D ;D (it uses the famous Delmonico pepper sauce that Slim likes so well, ask him, I double dog dare ya.) ;D
Slim comes in the kitchen with his sinuses full of mucus from pollen allergies. "Whas fa brefas?" Delmonico hands him a plate. "Tanks Del." He take the plate and a cup of coffee to the porch to watch the sunrise. He digs in the grub. Suddenly, he realizes something is wrong. His mouth and belly start burning. Mucus starts streamining from his nose.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!
He runs ouffa the porch, with mucus running down his beard and onto his shirt, toward the Dismal to put out the fire. :o :o :o :o
Delmonico figgers Slim would know better, water just spreads to oils from the chili's, ya need somthing starchy like bread ot tator to soak up the oil. ;D
Slim reaches the Dismal, upstream from the herd ;D, and starts drinkin'. After a full belly, the pain still has not subsided. At least his sinuses are clear. ::) He waddles back to the house. "Del how do I stop the burnin' in my mouth and belly?"
Delmonico looks at Slim and says, "toughen up." ;D
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!
Slim jumps up and down.
Them girls down at ms collinswoods done some sewing last night and sent this outfit along with me to give to Trinity, they said they wanted him to wear it when he's a chariot racing on Sunday. they done read a book abook about it and this is the right clothes for a racing
<Author's Note, That skirt needs a poodle on it.> ;D
I thought it were a badly shorne sheep??
<Author's Note, Not much differance, one poops little balls the other Tootsie Rolls. 'Bout the only way to tell the differance.> :o ;D
<"Nuther Note, Fergot to warn ya by PM litl rooster.> ;D
After seeing Slim jumping around and hearing what Del said about the hot sauce Irish tosses Slim a potato!
Delmonico says, "I figgered he was gonna add macaroni to his chili anyway, them heathens up in the north country seem to do that alot. Maybe cause they is whimps when it comes to good ol'
capsicum. ;D ;D
Naw Del its cause Velveeter goes good with tha macaroni! ;D
Delmonico says, "most likely, and they use margerine and brown HAMBUGER and use it in their chili, most likey he uses storebought chili powder and adds beans, kidney beans." :P :P :P
Slim chomps on the tator. The pain slows subsides. "Thanks, Tom."
Ya mighta washed tha dirt n grub worms off it first Slim! :o
"It adds ta the flavor." ;D
tha dirt will just add trace minerals, keeps his beard a growing, the grub worms a little protien.
Slim did you get any of that snow they showed on the map this morning in your part of the country??
We got sleet, no snow.
Satisfied with the show Stoney heads to the barn to feed the pigs.
Delmonico starts a fire under the hog scalderin' kettle and starts to cook up the sandburrs. ;D
Slim grabs his warbags and "Mighty Ten". He goes ta the barn and saddles his horse. He rides to Dunning and buy something from the merchantile. He, then rides Norteast.
<Arthur's note: I'z off ta the toy store. ;D>
<Author's note: Ya would have thought that Slim would have noticed I sewed a poodle/badly shorn sheep on each side of his saddle bags.> ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on May 11, 2006, 10:16:10 AM
Delmonico figgers Slim would know better, water just spreads to oils from the chili's, ya need somthing starchy like bread ot tator to soak up the oil. ;D
"Wha's that Dail? Take an old cold tater an' wait?"
"Thanks OT fer tha hat. It kinda skeert me this mornin' but oncet Ah figger'd it weren't gonna git me, Ah come out from unner tha baid! 'Bout this race, Ah thank Ah unnerstand how ta turn, so Ah thank Ah'm ready."
Oh, and thankee ladies right kindly fer tha, uh, racin' outfit. Ah hope ya don' mind, but Ah'll wayre mah drawers unner that skirt!" :o ;D ;D
all righty then, Your'e ready the chariot's ready, the race tracks ready and we got 2 maybe 3 other fellars wanting to race, now all we need is for Del to mix us up some supercharged horse feed, just for your horses. that'll give you the edge.
all you need to do then is have a good old fashioned talk with your horses about winning.
Delmonico hears that and goes and brews up a strong pot of coffee for Trinity's horse. ;D
Trinity mixes in a dose of his special brew when Delmonico's not looking. The brew is good for a short burst, but since this is not an endurance run, there won't be any problems. Afterward the race... and after vomiting, the horse will sleep very well.
Quote from: Trinity on May 13, 2006, 03:32:30 AM
Trinity mixes in a dose of his special brew when Delmonico's not looking. The brew is good for a short burst, but since this is not an endurance run, there won't be any problems. Afterward the race... and after vomiting, the horse will sleep very well.
<<Another step in the developement of Nitrous. ;D>>
"Whassat? Yeah, he'll sleep ver' well through tha nahght! In fact if'n he's gotta go... well, he'll just go right whar he is. There won' be no wakin' up."
;D ;D ;D
Delmonico gets the coffee done, he puts it in a rubber bag with a hose. ::) The bag has a hand pump tween it and the rubber hose. :o He rigs the bag up in the chair-e-it. He tells Trinity to put the hose in the .........................................little hole under the horses tail. ;D
"Give it a pump or two when ya need speed." ::) :o ;D ;)
<<Arthor's note: A coffee suppository! :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P>>
<Authors note, if'n is was a supo-it-tory it would be solid and bullet shaped. ::) This would be a an enner-mer or in the period a clyster. ::)>
<<What goes up has gotta come down... and... what goes in has gotta come out!>> :P :P :P :P
Thinkin' about what Trinity was worried about, Delmonico sees he has a point and heads for the workshop, :o :o ::) ::) ::) ;)
<< :o Uh oh!!>>
Delmonico comes out of the workshop with a large rubber plug, it has a hose connection on it and 4 set screws. ::) "here Trinity, put this in the...............................little hole under the tail.................. of yer horse and tighten the screws up. It will expand on the inside and not come out till you loosten the screws. ::)"
Delmonico also tells him, "There is a one way valve in the plug, it can go in, but not come out." ;D
:P :P :P :P :P :P
"Ah ain' puttin' anythin' in any hole under any hosses tail!"
Delmonico is hurt that Trinity won't "do anything he can" to win. :o ;D So he takes his device and hangs it in the barn. :( :( Sadly he saddles up his mule Reuben and goes for a ride. Headin' east he goes over the first hill and see's the freight wagon comin' with the lumber he ordered in Omaha. ::)
Excited he rides back to the ranch, "My lumber is comin' it will be here afore night fall. I'll start on my grocery store/post office in the mornin'." ;D
Feeling sorry for his actions, Trinty tries to explain himself to Delmonico: "Sorry pard. Ah jus' ain' no gamer, see?"
Delmonico say's, "Don't think there be nuthin' in the rules that say ya can't, if so Ozark would a mentioned it. ;D What ya be doin' is slowin' down the progress of the sport. ::) "Sides that ya gots rubber tires, so ya already is a gamer. ;D :o :o :o
"Do them ball bearin's make me a gamer too?" :o ???
Delmonico says, "Naw, that be a safety modification, otherwise yer hub could seize on the axle and toss ya inta the arena. Right onta the horse poop, unless ya all use my modification." ::) ::) ::) ::) ;D
Ozark, after hearing this convesation, wonders aloud, now we don't want ms collinswood loseing all her money she done bet on you in tormorrow's race, we need to get that thing in the horse. I'll hold up his tail and you take your sling shot and install it.
we need all the speed we can get.
Delmonico goes to the workshop and gets the device and hands it to Trinity, "Here, you got to do it fer the wagon ladies," ;) Delmonico hands him a pair of rubber gloves, "use these and put it in just afore the race." ;D ::)
<Author's Note, Due to a slow day a work, I was doin' some reseach and come onto an 1877 Goodyear Rubber Company Catalog. Yep Rubber Gloves.> ;D
"Jolly Jumper ain' gonna have nothin' plugged in that hole, safety or speed be durned! Now, in an effort ta steer clear of the gamer status, Ah done built a new chariot out of wood that the folks at NCCPRH (National Convention of Cherry-ot Pullin' Racin' Hosses) would approve of!"
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/c/c2/Australian_cart.jpg/250px-Australian_cart.jpg)
Sod Buster rides up and sees that Trinity is refusin' to put the plug in. He grabs it and says "Here, let me do it.....I ain't afraid of no Horse's Ass".
Sod Buster sticks in the plug....without the aid of the rubber gloves.
"There...that wasn't so hard! Enjoy you're ride little buddy."
Looking at Sodbusters hands: "Uh... next tahm, Ah'll jes give you a glass fer mah squeezin's, ok? Please don' touch tha jug no more. :P :P"
;D
Sod Buster chuckles at Trinity's remarks. He wipes his hands off on his trousers and slaps Trinity on the back, continuing to laugh. ;D ;D
Ozark, sees a little wagon coming down the road, and goes to meet it. a few minutes later he follows it beside the barn. they push something up to the house to show to the fellars.
This here's ma nephew from Arkansas, he done brought his grandpappys old cannon to start the race tomorrow.
his names J.D. (Jefferson Davis) we just call him Jeff, his granny makes him wear his little blue uniform when he travels North of Arkansas, she worried about him running into a yankee patrol.
Delmonico watches the pro-seed-ure and hopes Sodbuster tightened the set screws to expand the plug to hold it in. Even with out the extra from the caffiene injection system, on must remember that horses have a tendancy to build up a com-bo-nation of methane and hydrogen sulfide gasses commonly know as "Horse Farts." ;D Anyone who has ever been around one of these animals knows that the build up can be quite large, the reason Delmonico told Trinity not to insert the plug till just before the race. ::) :o :o
Delmonico shruggs his shoulders and starts supper, fryin' pork chops and making more turnip greens out of the garden, he needs to make extra fer the teamsters who brought in his lumber.
Just as he is about to clang the supper bell he hears;
PHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHTTTTTTTT
and knows Trinity and Sodbuster fergot to tighten the plug. Trinity has the horse hitched up to his chair-eye-et practicin' and has most of the hair on his head removed as well as most of his clothes by the blast. ::)
<Authors Note, Lucky Trinity don't smoke, it could have been worse.> ::) ;D :P
With Jolly Jumper a chomping at his bit Trinity in his chariot suit and his lunch bag under his arm we about ready to go to the races.
Ozark grabs his saddlebag with Del's secreet race horse fomular in it and finishs hitching up the wagon.
Since the race is only 2 miles away, Delmonico decides the cellar might be the safest place to be when Trinity kicks in the afterburner on that horse. Delmonico seen what happened with out the extra. ;D :o ::) :P
<Authors Note, He's also seen the Budweiser ad with the 'one horse open sleigh.> ::)
arriving at the track, the fellars set up their spot to operate out of, Trinity pulls in the chariot and Tom and Stoney raise up both wheels so we can grease them with some of Del's cooking grease figuring it would be lighter and let the wheels turn easier.
several wagon loads of folks arrive and start their picnic lunches wainting for the races. a couple of folks set up outdoor cooking, so they can sell some of thier food to the other folks.. Trinity goes a wandering off to see what's cooking.
One of the other racers is here already but one isn't here yet so we'll just wait a little while, everybodys having a good time anyway.
After spending the entire weekend in the pig pen (and not noticing a difference in his surroundings) Stoney comes out to see them installing a plug in the politician...I mean the horses rear end. ;D At OT's request he help Tom greece the wheels.
Back in the house he washes up, makes coffee and heads out to the porch.
"Hey Del, do you have any extra windows around the shop? We may want to install one on the front of the charriot. If'n that thar plug ever come out our friend Trinity would be covered from head to toe with ... :o. It won't be bath month for several more weeks and I sure don't wanna smell him after that."
The chariot is ready and the final contestant arrives. Trinity adds some of his special brew to Del's concoction an is ready to begin. Stoney has just finished nailing the winder on the front of Trinity's chariot. A horn sounds and the contestants line up, Ozark waves a flag and their off. The contestants are neck and neck for the first lap, then Trinity opens the valve on his special mix, hot coffee and shine flood his horses innards. Jolly Jumper takes of like a rocket, Trinity laps the other contestants and is starting his final lap while the others are starting their third lap. Unnoticed by all Del's contraption has begun to work loose, nobody checked the set screws. As Trinity rounds the final turn and passes the assembled gallery of picnickers the plug blows out, to make matters worse one of the spectators is lighting a stogie at this point. The resulting explosion is catastrophic. Trinity crosses the finish line well ahead of the other contestants ,protected by Stoney's window, while their chariots are afire and are being pulled by bald horses. As he looks to what he expects will be a cheering gallery all he sees is a horde of angry, smoking, bald-headed women coming toward him. He turns and snaps the reigns to get Jolly Jumper moving, only to find that he has puked and passed out. Trinity jumps off the chariot and begins to run.
;D :D ;D
LOL
Marshall N Sheep roll on ground.
;D :D ;D
Ya best get out of town,
While Ya can.
LOL
;D :D ;D
With the race over and no explosions, Delmonico comes out of the cellar, gets tools out of the shop and heads down by the road to build his store/post office. ;D
Slim nears the ranch. He spies Del up the road from the ranch with a bunch of tools and lumber. "Whatcha doin', Del?"
Got a Post Office fer her, no sense in havin' to go clear to Dunning fer the mail, gonna add a general store also, got the goods a comin' in a few days. ;D ;D ;D
"Sounds great. Can I help?"
Sure, but I forgot to tie up Trinity first, we don't want it to end up like the bunkhouse. ;D Go put some leg shackles on him and grab a hammer. ::)
"Will do!" Slim rides to the barn. He spies Trinity sleeping in the hammock. He gets a brace of shackles and hammer. He sneeks on the porch and shackles Trinity's legs. He gets back on his horse with hammer in hand and rides back to Del. ;D
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on May 15, 2006, 07:51:43 AM... Trinity jumps off the chariot and begins to run.
<<Authur's note: Trinity doesn't run.>>
Trinity wakes up in his hammock with his arms and legs shackled. "Miss Sherlene, ya done come ta visit me! How long is ya 'llowed away from Miss Collin'wood's? Didja hair? Me an' Jolly Jumper done won tha race! He ain' feelin' good right now, but he'll be back ta normal ver' soon. Ah hope he fer-gives tha stranger from tha soddy fer stickin' that thang in his... uh... nevermind, that ain' no po-lite talk. Miss Sherlene? Miss Sherlene, where is ya??"
The noise from Trinity is so loud that Slim takes and puts the plug right into Trinity's..................
........................................................... hole under his nose. ;D
<<Arthur's note: A brand NEW and never before used plug!!!!!!>>
<<Arthur's note 2: If you ask some folks... ain' no difference twixt that hole an' tha other! ;D ;D ;D>>
<Author's note, no that durn Slim used Jolly Jumpers plug. ::)>
:P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P (http://www.freeguestbooks.net/smilies/puke_new.gif) :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P
When Slim gets back to the construction site, Delmonico looks at him and says, "Now you'll have to boil that plug afore the next race." ::) ;D
Ozark drives the wagon out by the barn, unhitches and feeds the mules and comes up to the porch and see Trinity a laying in the hamock with his hands shackled, thinking that somebody else had done this to him, he cuts him a loose, having been a laying there with that thing in his mouth, he spits it out and says whar's the jug, so they go in the house and find a full one.
Trinity drinks the entire jug in what seems to be one swallow. He looks up at OT and asks: "Warsh Mishh Sherl- *hic* Mishh Sherl- *hic* Mishh Sherlene!? That weren't no fun attall!"
I think them gals was going to walk down to Del's new store and see if'n he had any sasperella sodas, they should be back in a few minutes, they said all the rest of the girls and ms collinwoods would be hear bout sundown to have a great big victory party for you a winning the race. said they had made a potted meat statue of you in you racing outfit to celebrate
"Bout sundown slim and Delmonico finish the store/post office. Delmonico hangs the sign he had made in Dunning.
Delmonico P.O.
Dry Goods and Groceries
Ozark walks out on the porch to see if he can see where the girals are and see Del and Slim hanging a sign, he walks back into the house and tells Trinity, Del must be mad at something, he done hung a sign says, Delmonicos P O' ed
Irish rides up and sees the new Post Office and General Store that Del and Slim built. That's a good idea Del now Slim will have someplace to buy a potato next time he eats something with your hot sauce on it!
Delmonico says, "Slim needs to toughen up." ;D
Ozark is sitting on the front porch reading the Kansas city paper that somebody had carried home from the races Sunday, he tells Trinity that Del is going to have a lot of people coming to his store from now on, they should be a way we could make a little money offn this ,
he lays the paper down except for one page of the for Items for Sale
he folds it and puts it in his pocket and heads out to the barn to saddle up Dynamite and heads to town in a hurry. gotta get to the telpraph office.
Stoney see OT put the paper in his pocket and ride outta the ranch like a man on a mission. "Wonder what he's up to."
Stoney sees the plug from trinity's mouth on the floor and since he know where that came from, decides to open a fresh jug.
Seein' the new PO and general store, Pete gets to thinking this ranch may need a jail and a sherrif. Not the kind of law provided by that sheep lovin' Marshal neither.
Thant's enough thinkng for now.
Stoney take another pull from the jug and concentrates on that warm feeling that is moving throughout his body. As he drifts off to sleep the name "Sherrif Stoney" crosses his lips. Then a song from nowhere runs through his muddled mind as sleep takes him.
Stoney's Roundup
Right here every day
Stoney's Roundup
come on, it's time to play
There's Slim, the yodeling cowboy
(yo-de-la, you-de-la, yo-de-la)
Bullseye, he's Stoney's horse
(grrr...he's a smart one)
Del the old prospector
and Stoney the man himself
of course
It's time for Stoney's Roundup
He's the very best
He's the rootinest tootinest cowboy
in the wild wild west
Stoney's Roundup
Come on, gather round
Stoney's Roundup
Where nobody wears a frown
Bad guys go running
Whenever he's in town
He's the rootinest, tootinest, shootinest, hootinest cowboy around
Stoney's Roundup
Ozark gets tothe telgraphy office and runs in telling the operator take a message, Bailey Circus, Kansas City, Mo. will take advertised merchadise (stop) gold coin has been transfered to your bank. send complete with feed (stop) ship to Ozark Tracker, Dunning Neb. @ ms collinswood's.
thanks.
Ozark goes on over to ms collinswoods to partake of their drinking stablishment and wait for the shipment.
thinking as he goes "boy Trinity, Stoney & Tom's gonnna enjoy this"
Delmonico says, "If yer buyin' an eller-funk, you gots to clean up the Eller-funk poop. If'n Slim steps in it he'll be upset." ::)
<Arthur's note: I thought it was Stinky Del. Or was it Stinky Pete? I get cornfused sometimes. :D>
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on May 15, 2006, 04:31:38 PM
"Will do!" Slim rides to the barn. He spies Trinity sleeping in the hammock. He gets a brace of shackles and hammer. He sneeks on the porch and shackles Trinity's legs. He gets back on his horse with hammer in hand and rides back to Del. ;D
Quote from: Trinity on May 15, 2006, 06:20:28 PM
Trinity wakes up in his hammock with his arms and legs shackled.
<Arthur's note2: Did I miss it when Trinity's arms were shackled? ??? :D>
Quote from: Delmonico on May 16, 2006, 12:53:31 PM
Delmonico says, "If yer buyin' an eller-funk, you gots to clean up the Eller-funk poop. If'n Slim steps in it he'll be upset." ::)
"That's fer sure! >:( By the by, Del, how did the Post get named after ya? ???"
Ozark gets tired of drinking and dancing and wanders out into the street and looks toward the road to Kansas City, He sees dust in the distance and hopes his shipment is on that wagon, He takes out his crumpled piece of newspaper and opens it and reads the ad again
HURDY GURDY AND MONKEY FOR SALE CHEEP!!!!!
I hope that little monkey has a big money cup, for Del and Slims GRAND OPENING.
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on May 15, 2006, 04:31:38 PM
"Will do!" Slim rides to the barn. He spies Trinity sleeping in the hammock. He gets a brace of shackles and hammer. He sneeks on the porch and shackles Trinity's legs. He gets back on his horse with hammer in hand and rides back to Del. ;D
Trinity didn't read well. ;D
<Author's Note: It was common at that time for a post office to be named after the postmaster if it wasn't in a town, folks knew where to go 'cause they knew where the post master lived. I'll bring you Old Jules to the muster, Jule's had several P.O. up in his area, kept gettin' in trouble and losing them. Right now I'm at a dead end till one of the 400 some folks in Arthur County come in and has time to talk, but there was a Carman P.O. in aurther County at one time, most likely a relative..>
NOT one of mine. He was a PREEECHER.
The wagon arrives, the driver unties the flap and throws it up and out hops the monkey, but hes a riding a dog, the driver gives Qzark a letter of introduction The dogs name is Cleapatra but we just call her Clea she lets the monkey ride her and do rodeo tricks he can rope and ride with the best of em. the monkey's name is ( authors note; the name of the monkey is missing from the note, torn off), huh, Ozark says guess we'll have to name the monkey, night. oh well
Ozark signs the papers and the driver gives him the hurdy gurdy and he loads it on the back end of Dynamite, he whistles for Clea and him and monkey go riding out of town toward the Ranch with no Name.
Quote from: stoneypete on May 16, 2006, 11:10:36 AM
Stoney see OT put the paper in his pocket and ride outta the ranch like a man on a mission. "Wonder what he's up to."
Stoney sees the plug from trinity's mouth on the floor and since he know where that came from, decides to open a fresh jug.
Seein' the new PO and general store, Pete gets to thinking this ranch may need a jail and a sherrif. Not the kind of law provided by that sheep lovin' Marshal neither.
Thant's enough thinkng for now.
Stoney take another pull from the jug and concentrates on that warm feeling that is moving throughout his body. As he drifts off to sleep the name "Sherrif Stoney" crosses his lips. Then a song from nowhere runs through his muddled mind as sleep takes him.
Stoney's Roundup
Right here every day
Stoney's Roundup
come on, it's time to play
There's Slim, the yodeling cowboy
(yo-de-la, you-de-la, yo-de-la)
Bullseye, he's Stoney's horse
(grrr...he's a smart one)
Del the old prospector
and Stoney the man himself
of course
It's time for Stoney's Roundup
He's the very best
He's the rootinest tootinest cowboy
in the wild wild west
Stoney's Roundup
Come on, gather round
Stoney's Roundup
Where nobody wears a frown
Bad guys go running
Whenever he's in town
He's the rootinest, tootinest, shootinest, hootinest cowboy around
Stoney's Roundup
Marshall Who's been glassing from the DCR, Saddles up Da Sheep, N heads for the Ranch with No name.
Arriving, He frees Trinity, sets His plan into motion.
Marshall cleans out Demonico's wood stove N fuels it up with some 'special additive. :o heh, Heh, HEH! ;D :D ;D
Meanwhile Da Sheep pours Sheep Dip into the Horse trough. :o Butts Stoneypete into the Sheep dip. ::) ;D :D ;D
Marshall says, "If'n ya want to be a Sheriff, Dats OK, Ya shoulda free--ed Trinity first. What kinda Law-dog are Ya anyhow?
Nobody ask You to love the sheep--get your own. Some love Cattle, Ah love wimmin, Ya ain't one of dem 'funnyboys' are Yeh". ;D :D ;D
Now don't be takin this wrong, ifin Yeh wan't of be a Sheriff Yeh gotta protect the whole flock, whether You like Em or not. :(
Sheep gives Stony a big kiss N pulles Him out of the horse trough, congratulations on Yer new job Sheriff. Its a tough job, somebody's gotta do it. ;D
Come on Sheep, time to get back to the Dynomite Chicken Ranch.
Marshall teleports back to the DCR.
<authors note, the sheep marshall is behind again, Trinity's been free fer most a day, perhaps someone should call him and keep him up to date and teach him some new tricks> ::)
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on May 16, 2006, 12:53:57 PM
<Arthur's note: I thought it was Stinky Del. Or was it Stinky Pete? I get cornfused sometimes. :D>
<Arthur's note2: Did I miss it when Trinity's arms were shackled? ??? :D>
Quote from: Delmonico on May 16, 2006, 01:17:31 PM
Trinity didn't read well. ;D
"Ah kin too raid! In fact, Ah was a-skimmin'. That's what them fancy school folk call raidin' fast!"
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on May 15, 2006, 08:46:06 PM
I think them gals was going to walk down to Del's new store and see if'n he had any sasperella sodas, they should be back in a few minutes, they said all the rest of the girls and ms collinwoods would be hear bout sundown to have a great big victory party for you a winning the race. said they had made a potted meat statue of you in you racing outfit to celebrate
"Woooo hooooooooo!! Mah ver' own lahkness in potted meat. Ah kain' believe it!
"Ah wonner what ol' OT took outta tha paper. Ah hope it weren't tha
good pictures!" ;D ;D
Ozark the monkey & Clea come riding into the yard, The dog and monkey do a Barbarosa spin for everybody on the porch and he gets off.
Ozark climbs down off his mule Dynamite and reaches up behind the saddle and retrieves 10 bunny rabbits that the monkey bulldoged on the way home. That little fellar and his dog, can bulldog a rabbit in a heartbeat,
Trinity delights in the monkey show. "Do it agin! Do it agin!!!"
Delmonico looks out the kitchen window, "Hmmmmf, now we're gonna have mokey poop around." :P ;)
The monkey dusts off and walks up the porch m takes off his gloves and sticks out his furry little hand to Trinity and tips his hat.
The fellar sent a letter along with him, said he was a good little monkey, excepting when he gets mad at ya, then he flings monkey poop :o :o
the monkey goes out in the yard and detects a faint ordor of sheep and tosses a handful of monkey poop in the direction he left.
Delmonico says, "Ok if he don't like sheep he can stay. But if he flings poop at me, I'll take him over to the "2 Guns" thread and let Arcey deep fat fry him." ;D
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on May 16, 2006, 06:09:25 PM
The monkey dusts off and walks up the porch m takes off his gloves and sticks out his furry little hand to Trinity and tips his hat.
The fellar sent a letter along with him, said he was a good little monkey, excepting when he gets mad at ya, then he flings monkey poop :o :o
the monkey goes out in the yard and detects a faint ordor of sheep and tosses a handful of monkey poop in the direction he left.
<<What are you trying to say? Are you implying that Trinity doesn't tip well or at all? ::) ::) ;D>>
(authors note; Del I found this sign about 20 years ago while metal detecting, we were in an old town that had almost become a ghost town and we found this in what had been the downtown area. they had had a fire years bdfore that burned most of the downtown in the 40's and they had never rebuilt, just cleaned up a little and left it. I found it buried about 10 inches deep,
when do suppose this sign was used? I know the town had been there since before the turn of the 1900's but I just wondered what you thought?)
<Author's Note; By the stye of the sign and the fact it say motors, I'd guess early 20th century. Most likely mean them hit and miss stationary type.>
The monkey walks actoss the porch tips one of Trinity's jug and sips a little, in a split second he runs up the porch across the roof, jumps to the barn, down the side of the barn and jumps in the horse trough, he comes up spiting water. jumps out and goes to the hammock and lays down.
I reckon he ain't used to hard cider
<author's Note: We still have them out here, this is on Nebraska 183, 'tween Taylor and Basset, 'bout 50 some miles from either town. The building near the Highway is the Post Office/Gas Station/Store/Bar, the other building is where the folks that own it live. ;D
Rose P.O. been by it many a time. Have bought sodas there. Never mind the round thing in the pictures, them's just Newbrassky crop Circles, we gots hundreds of them round the state, but we don't get excited 'bout them. :o ::)>
http://terraserver.microsoft.com/image.aspx?T=1&S=11&Z=14&X=1141&Y=11674&W=1&qs=%7cBassett%7cNE%7c
Quote from: Delmonico on May 16, 2006, 07:24:44 PM
<author's Note: We still have them out here, this is on Nebraska 183, 'tween Taylor and Basset, 'bout 50 some miles from either town. The building near the Highway is the Post Office/Gas Station/Store/Bar, the other building is where the folks that own it live. ;D
Rose P.O. been by it many a time. Have bought sodas there. Never mind the round thing in the pictures, them's just Newbrassky crop Circles, we gots hundreds of them round the state, but we don't get excited 'bout them. :o ::)>
<<Did you want to attach something? ;D>>
"Git outta mah hammock, dern' monkey! That's mah place... OUT! An go fahnd yer dawg. He was makin' eyes at one of Dukes wives!"
<Authors note, the hazards of workin' and such, someone came in and I fergot. ;D>
Quote from: Delmonico on May 16, 2006, 04:23:24 PM
<authors note, the sheep marshall is behind again, Trinity's been free fer most a day, perhaps someone should call him and keep him up to date and teach him some new tricks> ::)
<<Not only is he behind, but he can tell a man plans from a spy glass. ::) Then this useless "lawman" stands around while a sleeping unarmed man is attacked. ::) >>
Stoney awakes from the dream with at start. His clothes are still clean. The sheep lovin marshall had not come. I gotta take it easy on the squeezin's. :o ::)
Stoney makes breakfast with eggs, bacon, sausage, buscuits and coffee then heads out to the porch to enjoy his meal. He removes the jelly beans shells from his shotgun on puts on the rocksalt loads. It was just a dream he tells himself, but there ain't no reason to be unprepared.
Ozark comes walking out onto the porch, where Stoney's just finishing his meal. did you hear all the wagons going by last night, they bringing all the supplies for Del and Slim to stock the store, They gonna have everthing in there. I know Trinitys looking forward to the foriegn food section, they got food coming plum from Texas and New York City. maybe even some new flavors of potted meat.
Delmonico and Slim start puttin' away the groceries and dry goods. Trinity is sleepin' in the hammock on his belly, Ozark Travelers monkey is sleepin' on Trinity's back. ::) ::) ;D
Slim goes back ta the wagon to git another crate. "What are pomegranates?" ;D ;D ;D ;D
Delmonico says, "they're a fruit that's all full of seeds and hard to eat, you can make syrup out of them, mix it with orange juice and Tequila and have a Tequila Sunrise. I bought them cause of the Solomon Butcher photo that shows them in a grocery store. Now maybe I can find out who's buyin'them and why." ::) ;D :P
<Authors Note: http://memory.loc.gov/ammem/award98/nbhihtml/pshome.html type grocery store, Overton in to the search. ::)>
Ozark Stoney and Trinity standing outside the store winder, hear Del telling about Tequila sunrises, figure if they take some of the pomegranates and run them through one of the stills theyll have something even better. so they go in, howdy Del, we think we need about 2 cases of them pomegranates, just for fruit juice use, ya know ;D ;D ;D
"for medicinal purposes." ;D
yea that's it,
we think Trinity might come down with something any time now. he might get real sick ifn we don't gt them
"Two cases!? Naw, give us ten cases. These fellers thank on tha small scale. <Cough! Cough!> Ah mean, Ah'm real sickly feelin'! C'mon Monkey. Ah'll teach ya how ta drank medicine. ;D ;D"
I reckon we do need that much, we want to make as much brew, i mean medicine as we can.
Delmonico says, "I only gots one case, didn't know they'd sell so fast. ::) Well I'll order some more, be here in 'bout a week, normal policy is 505 down on special orders, but I 'spose I can trust Ozark, don't know 'bout Trinity, kinda hard to trust a fella with a "monkey on his back." ::)
with the one case of pomegranates in hand the fellars go walking back toward the barn, and the ready still.
Trinity yells back at Delmonico: "Ah kain' he'p it! This durned creature is always on tha go. Look, he's atop that dawg agin. Oooooh, looky, two more sheep down!"
He turns back to OT and warns him "we'd best not use that thar still in tha barn. Ah keep mah stills hid from Del. fer good reason. Don't take it poorly, but Ah'll jes' ride out alone. Don' worry, Ah'll be back dye-reckly."
With that, Trinity rides out on Jolly Jumper who is now recovered from the race.
Delmonico watches him leave, when he's gone Delmonico looks at Ozark and says, "He's wise, he's going to the #4 still in the sandblow out, I ain't done nuthin' to that one."
Quote from: Trinity on May 17, 2006, 08:02:46 PM
Trinity yells back at Delmonico: "Ah kain' he'p it! This durned creature is always on tha go. Look, he's atop that dawg agin. Oooooh, looky, two more sheep down!"
He turns back to OT and warns him "we'd best not use that thar still in tha barn. Ah keep mah stills hid from Del. fer good reason. Don't take it poorly, but Ah'll jes' ride out alone. Don' worry, Ah'll be back dye-reckly."
With that, Trinity rides out on Jolly Jumper who is now recovered from the race.
;D :D ;D :o
Trinity forgets that the Dynomite is stored under the Still, when He lites the wood, the Dynomite goes off blowing the Still to Smitherines. :o
Dats what ya get fer pickin on the sheep. ;D >:( ;D
Marshall puts pink lemonade into Stoneypetes Jug.
"guess We'er gunna have to make this a Dry county.
Revenuers arrive bust up the remains of the Still. ;D :D ;D
<Author's Note: Yep no ore-ridge-in-al-a-tea, ya would think he was a pro-fess-in-al com-eed-ian, same routine, over and over and over and over and over and over. ::)>
<<and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over>>
As the arthur mentioned earlier (and if he didn't, he meant to) Trinity has several stills peppered about to throw off Delmonico and other ne'er-do-wells. Trinity actually works from one of three stills for private consumption. As for "Revenuers"... that just isn't yet a problem for Trinity or his kind. ;D ;D ;D
Stoney pulls the cork and afore the jug even reaches his mouth he can smell the lemons. ??? He shrugs his sholders and put the lemonaide in the icebox, goes into his room and get a fresh jug of squeezin's.
Halfway to his mouth he remembers that Trinity will be back with "new medicine" soon. He replaced the cork and put the jugg outta sight.
Slim comes outta his room from a good night's sleep. He glances at the door to the cupola. A tear runs down his face. He goes down to the kitchen and fixes coffee and grub. He has a bite to eat and goes back to the store to finish stocking shelves.
Trinity returns to the ranch from still site number 23 with four jugs. He climbs down and hands one jug to Ozark, one to Stoney and sets a third on the porch. Popping the cork he says: "They's more up yonder, but it's gonna git some age. Ah brought this down fer a quick taste. Ah brough another bottle thar fer whoever want's ta try it. Bein' so early, this is gonne be a mite sweet." ;D ;D ;D
Ozark takes the jug and sits it on the porch and tells Trinity, while you was gone, we got some oranges from the store and poked a few holes in them we thought we'd let the brew soak into the oranges and then squeeze the oranges, instant
"Trinity sunrise"
"Orrrrr.... ya could put a fuse in it, light it an' throw it. It'll deee-stroy whatever ya throw it at an' leave a pleasant scent bee-hind." ;) ;D ;D
Delmonico says, "use it on sheep, I can smell them again." ::)
"Dail, kin ya make us sheeps cheese? Ah wan' me some, it's been a whal. Then Ah'll light up a O-range bomb. ;D ;D ;D"
"You's got's to milk them I ain't touchin' them." :P
Quote from: Delmonico on May 18, 2006, 07:34:28 PM
"You's got's to milk them I ain't touchin' them." :P
;D :D ;D
Bru.....k, Braw uu..k, Bruck!
Delmonico hears, the familar cluck of the sheep herder outside the kitchen window, "Delmonico says, "If anyone besides the sheep herder wants me to use my hands fer kneadin' dough after touchin' a sheep let me know." :P
He then remembers sumthin, "hey sheepherder, just to show you there are know hard feelin' because of the life ya chose being a no good, low down, rotten, hated, worthless, smelly sheep herder, I left you a present outside the kitchen window a couple of weeks ago, some ammo fer the little bitty, whimpy, hardly dagerous 22 WCF carbine." ::)
Quote from: Delmonico on May 18, 2006, 10:22:01 PM
Delmonico hears, the familar cluck of the sheep herder outside the kitchen window, "Delmonico says, "If anyone besides the sheep herder wants me to use my hands fer kneadin' dough after touchin' a sheep let me know." :P
He then remembers sumthin, "hey sheepherder, just to show you there are know hard feelin' because of the life ya chose being a no good, low down, rotten, hated, worthless, smelly sheep herder, I left you a present outside the kitchen window a couple of weeks ago, some ammo fer the little bitty, whimpy, hardly dagerous 22 WCF carbine." ::)
;D :D ;D LOL.
"Why Del, Ah didn't knowd Yeh cared. ::),Flattery will get Ya nowwhere. You must be watching them funnyboy Sheephearders. Sorry Ah is attracted to wimmin. ;D Ah know dis is the 1800's, even cosies washed their hands now N then :o, cheeze was usally made the day before, giving You a chance to Bathe before cooking anything. :o Since Yer bragging bout the fact you have Hot N Cold running water, Whats the problem? Like Trinity can't find the bathtub? ???(Inquiring minds wan'ts to know)
The offer of the ammo nice.
I'm touched, not enough to say thank you, but I'm touched.
Unfortunatly Ah don't have a 22WCF rifle, Mine is in 45/70. Browning BCPS, and the shotgun is an origanal 1901 Winchester in 10ga. ;D
Ah left a little present fer Ya, when You lites da stove it goes 'Poof', now You can be a star on the Minstral Show. :o ::)
You can cook N serve dinner, an have a show too. :o ;D :D ;D
LoL.
;D
P.S. Da Sheep blow Ya a Kiss.
XXX
;D :D ;D
<Author's Note: Everyone but sheep herders knows it takes more that hot soap and water to remove the smell of sheep. :P As fer that carbine you's carry when ya window peek, the hole in the end is to small, has to be a 22WCF. ::) Don't make no differance if ya like winnin, wimmin have to like you. ;D ;D :D :D :D :D ;)>
We like our women just a little on the trashy side, Ozark and Trinity sing while passing the O-range bomb back and forth.
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on May 19, 2006, 09:36:15 AM
We like our women just a little on the trashy side,
<Authors note: that is the key to this, the words would be "wimmin who are very, extremely, nuthin' but trasy like sheepherders, if'n they can get nuthin' else and the sheep herder has lots of money to pay." ;D>
"Ah'll milk that thang. Please don' touch it if'n yer gonna be makin' more cimanon buns!" :o :o
Trinity starts milking the first ewe he sees and begins to milk. While working, he sings to himself:
"Well I was raised in a sophisticated kind of style,
yeah my taste in music and women drove my folks half wild.
Mom and Dad had a plan for me;
It was debutantes and symphonies,
But I like my music and I like my women wild.
yeah...I like my women just a little on the trashy side.
When they wear their clothes too tight and their hair is dyed.
Too much lipstick and too much rouge
gets me excited, leaves me feelin confused.
Yeah, I like my women just a little on the trashy side.
You shoulda seen the looks on the faces of my Dad and Mom
When I showed up at the door with a date for the senior prom.
They said, "Pardon us, son, but that ain't no kid;
That's a cocktail waitress in a Dolly Parton wig".
I said, "I know it dad aint she cool?,
That's the kind I dig."
I like my women just a little on the trashy side.
When they wear their clothes too tight and their hair is dyed.
Too much lipstick and too much rouge
gets me excited, leaves me confused.
Yeah, I like my women just a little on the trashy side.
I like them sweet I like em with a heart of gold
yeah I like em brassey I like em wrestlen bold
they say oppisites attract nah I dont agree
I want a woman just as tacky as me
yeah I like my women just a lil on the trashey side
yeah I like my women just a lil on the trashey side"
;D ;D ;D ;D
Ozark starts humming along and gets his jew harp outa his pocket and starts a twanging. That'ns one of ma favorite happy songs.
Authors note( when I was a bailbonds man I did my own bounty hunting, one night I danced a gal around the floor 2 or 3 times then out the back door to that song. put the handcuffs on her and off to jail to turn her in, I doubt it's one of her favorite) :o
Trinity's girlfriend:
(http://www.trailertrashdoll.com/funpark/TrashyName/imgs/doll.gif)
"Sherlene! What are ya doin' here? Did Mrs. Collin'wood let ya have tha night off?"
<Authors Note: What scares me is my wife also likes that song.> ;D
Delmonico gets up early and fixes him some breakfast, he then saddles his mule Reuben and rides off. ::)
Trinity goes into the kitchen to round up some food. He finds no breakfast left, but finds a ham in the ice box and some bread. He adds a can of potted meat and devours his sandwich.
By dark Delmonico has not retured to the ranch. :o ::) ;)
Trinity finishes picking his teeth and looks up to notice that it is dark outside.
Ozark comes a walking in from the barn and tells Trinity, I don't think Slim gathered the eggs the last few days, you want some fried? we got a few dozen.
"Ah'll ait anythin' fried! Ain' nothin' lahk a crispy jacket on yer food!" ;D ;D
Quote from: Trinity on May 20, 2006, 10:02:01 PM
"Ah'll ait anythin' fried! Ain' nothin' lahk a crispy jacket on yer food!" ;D ;D
Hearin' that Trinity will each "anything fried", Sod Buster brings him a plate of fried grasshoppers from last year's harvest:
(http://www.grumpygourmetusa.com/grasshoppers.jpg)
Bon Appetit, Little Buddy!
Ozark fries up 27 eggs and 11 bunny rabbits that the monkey brought home this afternoon. he and Trinity sit down and devour the meat and eggs, and the grass hoppers for desert with a little of Del's secret hot sause.
I know we just ate, but do you think Del will be back to cook the next meal, if not we aughta go dodwn to ms collinwoods and see if Sherlene could make us up some flapjacks.
Just so litl rooster can't get the drop on him in this thread, Delmonico shoots him in the butt a couple of times for good measure.
<Authors Note: Thanks fer the idea Sodbuster, ya should have sent litl rooster a PM.> ;D
"Shooooo! That was some kahnda meal OT!! Thanks to tha stranger fer brangin' them lil crispy thangs. They was good. Ah mus' recommen', however, that sherlene don' do no cookin'. Trust me on this one. (http://smiley.onegreatguy.net/puke3.gif)"
Trinity looks out the window and sees Delmonico shooting litl rooster. "What in tarnation is ol' Dail up ta. Looky, he jus' shot litl rooster in tha bee-hind!"
Trinity's attention is quickly averted to the monkey who is dancing again.
(http://smiley.onegreatguy.net/monkey.gif)
Just before he shoots litl rooster, Delmonico gets back with Reuben and his thrown shoe. ::)
He says, because its; "National Delmonico Shoots litl rooster in the Rear Day"
Ozark looks out the winder at Del a shooting at litl rooster, I don't think he's a hitting meat, I seen litl rooster out there by the barn a stuffing that extrta cast iron boiler door down the back of his pants and hitching it to his spenders, yesterday, I didn't know what he had in mind. ???
Clang, Clang, Clonk. ;D
whoops, that clonk didn't sound good for litl rooster
With the clonk the plate splits and then it pulls back pichin' a big piece of litl roosters butt hide. ;D
Clonk, pince, clonk, pince, then litl rooster goes and hides while Delmonico reloads. ;D
with a big blood blister pinched in a tender spot , the monkey faints, they didn't say nothing about him not liking the sight of blood.
come on to little fellar,
we gonna need some more rabbits
Trinity pulls the plug on a jug and passes it briefly under the monkeys nose, the monkey comes too climbs the porch post to the roof and does his best tarzan scream.
AAAAAAAAHHH AAAAAAAAAAhh
Delmonico has his pistol reloaded and say's, "afore ya go rabbit huntin' ya 'spose the monkey could tell me where lil rooster is hidin'." ;D
The monkey having had to big a whiff of the jug stopper is seeing double and triples and is jut pointing in every direction.
Delmonico hollors for Duke and the yaller dog starts lookin' fer litl rooster. ;D
...Followed by each of his puppies who are now learning their tracking skills.
Delmonico and his pack of trackin' dogs finds litl rooster hidin' in the hay loft under the hay. Delmonico says, "durn it, if I shoot him in the butt here I might catch the hay on fire." ::) ;)
Quote from: Delmonico on May 21, 2006, 09:11:09 AM
Just so litl rooster can't get the drop on him in this thread, Delmonico shoots him in the butt a couple of times for good measure.
<Authors Note: Thanks fer the idea Sodbuster, ya should have sent litl rooster a PM.> ;D
Just for that, Sod Buster loads his shotgun with rock candy and shoots Del in the butt....giving him an instant sugar high.
<Author's Note, Clean up in the Old West Shop Please. Lucky I wasn't drinkin' coffee or I'd pulled a litl rooster. :o ;D>
Delmonico decides he's tired of shootin' litl rooster and goes to the Wedgewood room to soak in the Wedgewood bath tub. ::)
"That's tha fastest that Ah ever seed Dail move afore" said Trinity as Delmonico dashed past him in a sugar-induced high rate of speed.
Delmonico still soaks in the tub and ponders what to do to Sodbuster. ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on May 21, 2006, 08:10:50 PM
Delmonico still soaks in the tub and ponders what to do to Sodbuster. ;D
??? ??? :o :o ??? ???
Tired after watching Delmonico move so quickly to the bathtub, Trinity lays back in his hammock and sips on a Trinity Sunrise through a straw that Delmonico had brought back from his last visit with the the flying plates. Finishing the drink, he munches on the pulp inside the orange.
<<The fruit was always the arthur's favorite part of the purplish colored cooler beverage with many names that most high schoolers partake of... at least once ::)>>
Ozark comes walking up from the barn, there I throwed some more coal in the steam contraption so's we all have hot water tonight.
when I was in town last, I got this flyer, they having a carnival up to the new race track/pond starting tonight, they going to have food, drink rides and a freak show! I think I'll get cleaned up and go see what they got.
Who wants to go?
Delmonico says, "why bother, we gots all that here." ;D
"Ah'll go. In fact, Ah'll brang Frankenbird with us! Mebbe we kin win us some free dranks!
"Oh, an' Ozark, Please don' buy nothin' else. That monkey is still dancin' on tha front porch... we don' need nothin' else strange 'roun' hair! ;D ;D ;D"
(http://smiley.onegreatguy.net/monkey.gif)
But Del these is French freaks, they even stranger than us
Delmonico hears Trinity's comment and goes in and fires up the coal oil computor and sends off an order. ??? ::) ::) ;D
Delmonico says, "don't want to see no French freaks, they eat gravy on all their food and call it sauce. Who ever heared of gravy on green beans." :P ::) :o
"But Dail... Ah din't say nothin' bout them Frainch folk. Ahm jus' sittin' hair drinkin mah Purple Jesus. <<Slurp>> Ooooh! Another one empty. Tahm fer tha pulp!"
Hey O.T. you might be able to take Trinity,Frankenbird and the monkey to the Carnival and make them pay you. You'll have the better freak show!
(http://smiley.onegreatguy.net/monkey.gif)(http://smiley.onegreatguy.net/monkey.gif)(http://smiley.onegreatguy.net/monkey.gif)(http://smiley.onegreatguy.net/monkey.gif)(http://smiley.onegreatguy.net/monkey.gif)(http://smiley.onegreatguy.net/monkey.gif)(http://smiley.onegreatguy.net/monkey.gif)
Delmonico says, "Are they going to have cotton candy?"
"Oooh! Ah love cotton candy! Ah wan' some!!! Kin Ah have some? Please, C'mon!"
where is that hurdy gurdy, oh yeah, under ma bed, we'll take them fer a ride. we'll get the monkey a dancing around and then get us some of that cotton candy,
Delmonico says, "make the monkey wash his hands well before he gets us cotton candy, he might have been throwin' Poop again." :P :P :P
Del lad, I think yer jest happy tha monkey iz here so you can say that word all the time.
Delmonico says, "no, this is a knee-ses-a-tea to say it, do you want monkey poop in yer cotton candy." ;D
"Ah don' wan' no kahnda poop in mah cotton candy! >:("
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/poo.gif)
Ozark gets the lye soap and the stiffest brush in the kitchen, scrubs the monkeys hand, rinses them off and takes a glass of the brew pours it over the monkeys hand to sanitize, then holds onto the monkey tight until it stops burning.
o k we's ready to go to the party.
Quote from: Trinity on May 22, 2006, 07:42:11 PM
"Ah don' wan' no kahnda poop in mah cotton candy! >:("
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/poo.gif)
Or on your corn dog!
All the way to the racetrack/pond the monkey has his hands in his mouth and is getting drunk.
Quote from: Sod Buster on May 22, 2006, 07:50:22 PM
Or on your corn dog!
:o :o "That jus' don' sound right! Dern! An' Ah wanted a cone dawg too. :("
Are they gonna have an Eller-funk? ::) How 'bout the Fat Lady, the Rubber Man and a Fire Eater?
It didn't say on the poster, it just said freaks and cotton candy. but that one woman on the poster looks kinda plump
now I gotta wash that monkeys hands again before he kin get the cotton candy.
"He ain' gonna touch mah cotton candy! No way! Hey Dail, Ah saw me a ellerfunk tha other day. She were pank!"
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/elefant.gif)
Quote from: Trinity on May 22, 2006, 07:42:11 PM
"Ah don' wan' no kahnda poop in mah cotton candy! >:("
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/poo.gif)
zactly (http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a153/stoneypete/emoticons/poop2.gif)
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on May 23, 2006, 07:07:45 PM
It didn't say on the poster, it just said freaks and cotton candy.
We already have the freaks. Let's just have Del put a cotton candy machine in the store and then we can stay home." ;D :D ;)
Stoney quickly heads the barn to get his horse.
Delmonico says, "I've been tryin' to tell them that all along. :o BTW since we made the monkey wash his hands, maybe we should make Trinity." :P
Good luck with that. ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on May 21, 2006, 08:10:50 PM
Delmonico still soaks in the tub and ponders what to do to Sodbuster. ;D
;D :D ;D
Unknowst by Dell, Marshall N Da Sheep have put Yeller-Green dye into Dell's Bath water, but it wont show untill Dell steps out into the sun. :o
Marshall N Sheep get good laugh at Chartruse Dell--looks like Hes food. ;D :D ;D
;D
::)
Since the shhep-hewrder is once again days behind, delmonico ain't taken a bath since being shot with rock candy. He's showered. ::)
He hollors, "somebody grab him, them Frenchmen will pay lots fer this freak."
Slim comes outta his room after his bout with the slittin' headache. He goes ta the kitchen and finds noone about. So, he makes coffee and grub. He takes a cup and plate to porch to see if he can see where anyone went.
Delmonico comes from the barn where litl rooster is still holed up in the hay loft. ::) "slim they all went to some circus down at Lake Pete. ::) They're gonna try to trade the sheep herder to the Frenchmen fer their freak show. I hope they don't end up with Potten Snail Product." ::)
Quote from: Delmonico on May 24, 2006, 01:00:38 PM
Delmonico comes from the barn where litl rooster is still holed up in the hay loft. ::) "slim they all went to some circus down at Lake Pete. ::) They're gonna try to trade the sheep herder to the Frenchmen fer their freak show. I hope they don't end up with Potten Snail Product." ::)
;D :D ;D
Dell steps into sunlight, turns puck-yellow-green :o ;D.
Marshall says, "Ah may be slow, but I'm ahead of You." " On second thought that may not be such a good idea." :o
Dell finally realizes He Yellow -green. Ohy!, runs off to Hes lair. >:(
;D :D ;D
Stoney returns from the circus. "It was boring. We see more interesting things around this place." Stoney heads to the kitchen and makes breakfast with his usual fare and sits on the porch drinking coffee.
"I wonder how the boys made out draggin' the Marshal and Da sheep off to the freak show." ???
Delmonico says, "They tossed him off in a marsh, he got ta havin' his hall-loose-in-a=tions again, said sumthin' about dyin' me yaller-green, but I ain't yaller-green. ::)
"I almost forgot." :o :o
Stoney runs out to the barn and pulls a package from his saddle bags. " Bought presents for you all at the circus. We can wear 'en when ever the Marshall shows up." He places on shirt one everyone bed. "I even had one sent to Sodbusters house. ;D
(http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a153/stoneypete/T-Shirt_NoSheep.gif)
Shortly after Stoney returns, Trinity shows up, followed by all the acts from the Freak show that are all bowing and scraping to him saying, "Teach us Oh Great One."
"Settle down, now jes' settle down! Gees, ya'd thank they ain' never had no good likker afore. Mebbe Ah shouldn'ta taken a jug wif me. ??? Ever'body got drunk, 'cept'n tha drunk act... he turned plumb back aroun' sober!"
I see you talked em into the notion a bringing the cotton candy machine out here and setting it up,
lets go see if'n we can make some!!
Delmonico says, "Hope ya brought some sugar, Trinity done stole all I had to make liker." ::)
ah he's been a hiding all he don't use right off and I think he forgot he put it there, so we'll just use some of it.
He might hide it in the hay loft, ask litl rooster, he's still hidin' up there. ;D
"It ain' quite rum season, OT. Hair's some sugar, less give this machine a trah. Ah do love me some cotton candy... it's so cottony!" ;D ;D
To the drunken freak show actors: "Alright you drunks. Calm down, tahm fer some sus-tenance."
The monkey comes back to the house with his beggin cup full, we got watches wallets neckleces rings, I think the monkey may be light fingered. either that or them french people just don't care.
"You gots a good monkey thar! Hey, is that mah great gran-daddy's hair-loooom silver whiskey tastin' cup??
It may be, when the little feller took off his cowboy boots and emptyied em out he had another cup plum full of coins.
"That little feller kin be of use. Mebbe Ah'll take him next tahm Ah go up to them mines... Wait, what am Ah sayin... then them folk won' have no gold dust what fer ta buy mah squeezins. Oh! Ah got's it. We kin take him ta Warshin'ton. Iss 'bout tahm we take back some of what's been stolt from us!" ;D ;D ;D ;D
If ya take tha monkey ta Warshington Trinity they're liable to lect him President, ya might wanna rethink that un!
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on May 26, 2006, 08:08:39 AM
If ya take tha monkey ta Warshington Trinity they're liable to lect him President, ya might wanna rethink that un!
What's wrong with us havin' someone we kin trust runnin' the gov'ment?
Ya ferget the monkey throws poop, ain't there enough poop throwin' there. ;D
Yea, but at least the monkey won't throw poop while denying any wrong doing. ::)
The monkey finds an old top hat in the barn, thinking he looks like honest Abe with it on he gets up on the rooftop, makes monkey noises like he's making a speech. When he gets done he jumps down and starts shaking hands and kissing babies.
Trinity sees the hat and turns red. "Ah hate that hat!" he growls under his breath.
but don't it make the little fellar look like honest Abe with his fuzzy face.
Still growling: "Thass whah Ah hate that hat! Ah don' cotton to no DIShonest Abe!" >:(
;D ;D ;D
Delmonico goes out to the garden and picks some turnips. He cleans the greens and cookes them with some ham hocks, the roots he chops and fries them in some bacon drippings, nice veggie turnips, ya can eat bothe the tops and the roots.
When they is done, Delmonico puts them on a plate and has the monkey take them out to Trinity out on the porch. ;D
the monkey stops when he gets around the corner sniffs the greens, decides he likes his a little less cooked and takes them on out to Trinity.
Trinity smells of the cooked greens and becomes sick. (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/puke.gif)
Realizin' that Trinity has stopped breathin' the monkey starts CPR and very quickly he's back breathin' on his own, none the worse for the experiance. ::) (No not the monkey, Trinity.)
Trinity runs to the dismal to wash his mouth out, all the while screaming "Ewww monkey germs! Monkey germs!!!!"
The monkey realizin' what he has done runs upstream from Trinity holorin' "ekkeeek ekkkeee eeekkkee ekeekeee" Which translated from Monkey means Eww, Trinity germs. When the monkey gets to the Dismal
upstream from Trinity ;D he washes out his mouth also. ::)
<Authors Note: Ya did all notice the monkey is
upsteam from Trinity.> :o ::) :P
The oils from Trinity had already formed a circle around him, thus encapsulating Trinity and fresh water while the contaminated water drifted around the oil slick.
Trinity crawls out of the dismal and rolls over on his back thinking he had escaped more monkey germs. he relaxes
"Hey thar lil kitty cat! Pewww, ya done got inta sumpin stanky! Ugh! Its gittin' worse!! Go on kitty, git outta hair!"
When Trinity gets back to the ranch house Delmonico covers him in 'mater juice and sends him back to the river. :o
Before going, Trinity runs to his room to grab a bottle of Vodka.
Delmonico grabs a front quarter of beef and loads it into the wagon, "I'll be back tommorow, gonna go over to Tom's pub and try to make Irish stew with beef instead of mutton." ;D
"Mutton ain' bad a'tall. Don' know rightly why you folk tawk so badly 'bout it. Next you'll be tellin' me that ya don' lahk sheep's or goat's milk."
With the breakfast rush done at Tom's Pub, Delmonico comes back to the ranch and heads to the barn workshop. ;D
"Not agin!!!!!!"
ah Goat's milk, finer gravy can't be made, it'll stick to yer ribs, ifn it's real good and cold it's ain't bad drinking either.
Delmonico comes out of the workshop, pad-locks the door and puts up a sign, be back in the shop on Tuesday. ;D
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on May 28, 2006, 04:30:54 PM
ah Goat's milk, finer gravy can't be made, it'll stick to yer ribs, ifn it's real good and cold it's ain't bad drinking either.
"Ain' never had goat's milk. Only had cheese, an' it were gooood stuff!"
Quote from: Delmonico on May 28, 2006, 04:33:24 PM
Delmonico comes out of the workshop, pad-locks the door and puts up a sign, be back in the shop on Tuesday. ;D
Trinity looks at the sign and says to himself: "What 'bout Mondy?"
<Author's Note, Delmonico has the day off and he's gonna go shoot sumthin' just don't know what yet.>
"How 'bout yer workshop?" ;D ;D ;D
the monkey hops around the barn a couple of times finds what he's looking for and gives it to Trinity,, The key to the workshop :o :o
Trinity slips into the workshop and searches for Delmonico's new invention. He finally finds something with all sorts of levers and knobs, but cannot figure out what it may be. ???
look here Trinity, we could put nother lever or 2 on here and Del'd think he forgot what they was for
"Ah done turnt all tha knobs an' pushed all tha levers, but nuthin' happened. May as well add some more." ;D ;D
Quote from: Trinity on May 29, 2006, 08:38:04 AM
"Ah done turnt all tha knobs an' pushed all tha levers, but nuthin' happened. May as well add some more." ;D ;D
Marshall's Whos been a Glassin, saddles up Da Sheep, N rides down to get a colser look.
Delmonico got back to the ranch last night. After breakfast he heads out to the barn, along the way he see's the sheep herder and expects sheep, 10 gauge and dy-no-might and nuthing new or original or even funny soon. ::) ;D
He goes on out to the barn workshop and unlocks it, he goes past the dummy invention, the one with the fake levers and knops. He notices a couple extra levers added and knows they found the key he left out in the open. ::) He opens a secret panel on the work bench, sets the real invention on the bench and goes to work. ;D
Del's Irish Stew recipe is a big hit and becomes one of the top menu items at Tom's Pub. Tom saves a bowl of it for Trinity since he knows how much he likes good stew!
Hearing Irish Tom offer him stew, Trinity says: "Shore, ah'd love ta git stewed! What'll it be a bottle of home brew or one of yer bottles from tha homeland?" ;D ;D ;D
Delmonico comes in to the Newbrassky thread from the Lost and Found thread, with his can of turpintine and a rag and turpintines Trinity like a stray cat. ;D
"Whew! That's a mite tart, Dail. Did ya leave it in tha mash kettle too long. Don' know if'n Ah'd advise anybody ta drank that stuff!"
Delmonico hides his new invention from pryin' eyes and heads to the house to fix supper. Trinity had fould some orange juice, and has mixed in some of the pomy-granite syrup and is drinkin' Turpintine Sunrises. ;D
After only three sips, Trinity is now blind. But that doesn't stop him. He continues to drink. ::)
I think potted meat can cure that, if'n yoiu eat some soon enought
Delmonico just goes down to the Dismal and cuts a willow sapling. He removes the branches and paints it white and gives it to Trinity. ::)
;D :D ;D
Dell n Trinity didn't knotice that Marshall had put some 'additives' into the brew. ie, ammonia, n Iodine crystals. :o
Trinity turns blue, splashes mixture all over the workshop. As it dries the stuff goes off, leaving clouds of purple smoke, ;D
Sheep bites willow switch in two, Kisses Dell, Who is now purple with rage. ;D :D ;D
Marshal says, "Dell You gunna have a stroke if'in Ya don't look out". :o :o
;D :D ;D
Looks a Trinity N Dell, Says, "You'ts should start a Minstrial Show". ;D :D ;D
"Da Yankee's would love Ya". ;D :D ;D
:o
LOL
;D :D ;D
Delmonico again decides that the sheepman doesn't exist and goes on with his work. (He must be eatin' them one catus down there again a 'luuce-in-ate-in' again, so sad.")
;D :D ;)
Nopales' Dell? :o
;D
Here Ah is, Right behind You. ::)
;D
Wrong cacti, smaller, rounder ::)
(I hates someone ya have to 'splain jokes to. ::))
Ozark, who is sitting on the porch watches Trinity who is blue come running out of the shop
as soon as he hits the air, a purple smoke comes off him and he is slaping at the purple smoke. Del keeps turning around looking for somthing,
they sure are acting strange even for around here.
Delmonico locks the shop and comes up to the porch, "If Cammie comes by tell her I went to another forum, sumthin' 'bout she don't like us findin' out another way to skin a cat." ;D He then hides in his room. ::)
Camille stomps in.
Where in the hell did Del run off to now? I stopped in earlier in the thread and read something about a super pee shooter and then I fast forwarded and he's gone.
Did he piss his life away? ;D :o
Did he piss his life away? ;D :o
Ozark comes out on the porch and tells Cammie, Ole Del just left. Marshall Will from Californy came by and Del Grabbed his gold colored helmet and off they went.
said something about going to litl roosterville. we just got a telytype from near Kansas City.
Delmonico checks and sees Cammie's light is out and comes out, "whew, she sure gets upset about skinnin' cats, if she's up to the pee shooter part we're gonna be in trouble, I better work all night on my new invention." ;D Delmonico goes out and goes into the workshop. ;D
Del's in the workshop?! It ain't safe in there. I'm just gonna sit out here and wait until he comes back out.
Camille sits down in the shade with her back against the tree and one hand on her rifle the other on the horseshoe that she sat down on the ground next to her.
Slim comes out to the porch with coffee and grub. He spies a red-haired lady sittin' on the ground against a cottonwood starin' at the barn. "Ma'am do you want some coffee and grub while yer waitin'?"
Quote from: Delmonico on May 31, 2006, 10:42:23 PM
Delmonico checks and sees Cammie's light is out and comes out, "whew, she sure gets upset about skinnin' cats, if she's up to the pee shooter part we're gonna be in trouble, I better work all night on my new invention." ;D Delmonico goes out and goes into the workshop. ;D
;D :D ;D
LOL
Marshal, N Da Sheep, finally stop laughing, regain their composure, N continue Glassing the Ranch With No Name.
Marshall sends urgent telegraph to 'PePe' in Paris France, saying theres a New Redhead in Dells life :o
(Marshalls note this is one of the more interesting threads)
"Where else can Ya get a cup of Coffee, flapjacks, and a Show?"
Quote from: Marshal harpoluke on June 01, 2006, 11:41:57 AM
;D :D ;D
LOL
Marshal, N Da Sheep, finally stop laughing, regain their composure, N continue Glassing the Ranch With No Name.
Marshall sends urgent telegraph to 'PePe' in Paris France, saying theres a New Redhead in Dells life :o
(Marshalls note this is one of the more interesting threads)
"Where else can Ya get a cup of Coffee, flapjacks, and a Show?"
'PePe' , sends Marshall message, "Am on My way (Stop), bringing parsel of 'lil' Stinkers' (Stop),
Hope this dosn't raise Too big a Stink."
"Heh, Heh. HEH!"
;D :D ;D
PePe' Arrives,
with the 'little' ones, N a large can of Calcium Carbonate, and a large White Flag. ;D
Go's into the Barn N dumps CC into the Mule trough, the 'little' ones Spraint the Barn to give it "that Special Sent". ::) :o :D
Then leaves the White Flag N leaves.
Trinity steps into the Barn lookin fer some fresh 'Squeezings', Say's, " What's that smell?"
Dosn't knotice the Acetlin fumes N lights off His Cigar: :o NOooooooo!!
KABOOM!
:o
;D :D ;D
LOL
Marshall N Da Sheep roll on Ground with Lauhter.
"Is this Civit Cat's Revenge?"
;D :D ;D
Quote from: Marshal harpoluke on June 01, 2006, 04:46:50 PM
Marshall N Da Sheep roll on Ground..........
Doan even want a mental pitcher ah that...................
Quote from: Arcey on June 01, 2006, 04:53:33 PM
Doan even want a mental pitcher ah that...................
;D :D ;D
Not that kinda roll, LOL.
:o
;D :D ;D
Delmonico looks out a crack in the workshop and sees Cammie, He slips out his secret tunnel and to the Dismal River with his new invention, a cat skinnin' attachement fer his steam traction engine. ::)
Trinity walks out onto the porch, yawns and stretches. "What's goin' on hair?" Seeing OT, he says: "Thanks fer 'mindin' me 'bout tha potted meat trick. Ah done et a can fer dinner las' night an' slep' wif it plastered acrosst mah eyes an' it worked!"
With a loud "Thock" he opens up another jug and drinks.
I thought that'd cure it.
I was down to the racing pond this afternoon and they was wild west show stopped there to water. they was this gal said she knew youi when you was younger and was a trying to find ya. I told her to ask around up at dunning so's I could give you a little warning. she sent along a picture to show ya if'n I seen ya.
what's the story with her.
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on June 01, 2006, 09:14:32 PM
I thought that'd cure it.
I was down to the racing pond this afternoon and they was wild west show stopped there to water. they was this gal said she knew youi when you was younger and was a trying to find ya. I told her to ask around up at dunning so's I could give you a little warning. she sent along a picture to show ya if'n I seen ya.
what's the story with her.
It looks to me like that girl is planning a shotgun weddin! RUN TRINITY RUN!!
<author's note: Sod Buster forgot Trinity don't do "running". He takes life reeeeeeeeeeeeaaaalllllll sloooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwww>
Quote from: Delmonico on June 01, 2006, 05:14:24 PM
do looks out a crack in the workshop and sees Cammie, He slips out his secret tunnel and to the Dismal River with his new invention, a cat skinnin' attachement fer his steam traction engine. ::)
Marshall Sees Dels escape an notes the tunnel.
Wonders What Cammy will do to Him when She catches Em. :o
;D :D ;D
"Uh Oh! Is she still caryin' that thang!? Ah'da thought she'da fergotten bout that little inceeden'. Ya see, it done happent some fifteen year ago. She was a strappin' young lady an' was plannin' ta git married ta tha local shurf an' mah best frien', Clem. Clem, he weren't never too smart, but back east shurfin ain' dangerous a'tall, so she figgered she had a good lahf afore her. Clem asked me ta make tha likker fer tha weddin', so Ah set out ta make tha best batch Ah ever done made. It was a trial, ya see? A mixture of grain an' cone an' fruit squeezin's! Wail, sin' it were somethin' Ah ain' never did afore, ever' jug were just a mite different an' ended up bein' a batch all by its own self.
Come weddin' day Ah wen' ta passin' tha jugs out after the nuptools an' ever'body commenced ta drankin. It weren' but a half hour later an' her hayer done completely fail out, all but two little sprigs right smack on top! Clem, he went ta laughin' which started ever'body ails ta laughin' too. Ol' Brandy Lee <<aside>> Thass her name <<>> was a-ballin' her haid off, but she had fahr in her eyes. She were cryin', but angry at tha same time. It was kinda lahk watchin' a snowstorm in hail! It skeert me good!
Clem, he were a mite snookered too, but in a differn' way. He got himself a bad case of tha "squeezin's glasses" <<aside>>Tha's what we callt it when a feller would drank an' git interested in a homely girl, hee hee<<>> Wail, he heard ol' Prudence Ailkin's ol' mule laugh an' ran over an' grabbed her an' kissed her square on tha mouth! He even cut his tongue an' upper lip on her buck teef!. Ya kin' imagine that jus' chapped ol' Brandy Lee's hide. She were powerful angry an' amongst all tha folk at tha weddin' her glowin' raid eyes foun' me. She wen' over an grabbed up tha preacherman's shotgun <<Aside>> Oh no, it weren' that kahnda weddin'. Tha preacherman jus' carries it to ever' weddin', jus' in case <<>>. She grabbed up his shotgun an' started right t'wards me. Ah started runnin' <<Aside>> Yer right Sod Buster. <<>> Ah actually mosied away an' kep' moseyin'! Luckily none of us take ta over ex-ertion up in them mountains, so she jus' kinda mosied after me. Ah jus' mosied faster. Wail, she almost foun' me a few tahms, but Ah managed ta eeee-lude her by some kinda luck, which Ah ain' figgered out yet!"
Trinity looks at the picture again. "That wig don' look half bad, ya know?"
Quote from: Trinity on June 01, 2006, 10:20:07 PM
"Uh Oh! Is she still caryin' that thang!? Ah'da thought she'da fergotten bout that little inceeden'. Ya see, it done happent some fifteen year ago. She was a strappin' young lady an' was plannin' ta git married ta tha local shurf an' mah bet frien', Clem. Clem, he weren't never too smart, but back east shurfin ain' dangerous a'tall, so she figgered she had a good lahf afore her. Clem asked me ta make tha likker fer tha weddin', so Ah set out ta make tha best batch Ah ever done made. It was a trial, ya see? A mixture of grain an' cone an' fruit squeezin's! Wail, sin' it were somethin' Ah ain' never did afore, ever' jug were just a mite different an' ended up bein' a batch all by its own self.
Come weddin' day Ah wen' ta passin' tha jugs out after the nuptools an' ever'body commenced ta drankin. It weren' but a half hour later an' her hayer done completely fail out, all but two little sprigs right smack on top! Clem, he went ta laughin' which started ever'body ails ta laughin' too. Ol' Brandy Lee <<aside>> Thass her name <<>> was a-ballin' her haid off, but she had fahr in her eyes. She were cryin', but angry at tha same time. It was kinda lahk watchin' a snowstorm in hail! It skeert me good!
Clem, he were a mite snookered too, but in a differn' way. He got himself a bad case of tha "squeezin's glasses" <<aside>>Tha's what we callt it when a feller would drank an' git interested in a homely girl, hee hee<<>> Wail, he heard ol' Prudence Ailkin's ol' mule laugh an' ran over an' grabbed her an' kissed her square on tha mouth! He even cut his tongue an' upper lip on her buck teef!. Ya kin' imagine that jus' chapped ol' Brandy Lee's hide. She were powerful angry an' amongst all tha folk at tha weddin' her glowin' raid eyes foun' me. She wen' over an grabbed up tha preacherman's shotgun <<Aside>> Oh no, it weren' that kahnda weddin'. Tha preacherman jus' carries it to ever' weddin', jus' in case <<>>. She grabbed up his shotgun an' started right t'wards me. Ah started runnin' <<Aside>> Yer right Sod Buster. <<>> Ah actually mosied away an' kep' moseyin'! Luckily none of us take ta over ex-ertion up in them mountains, so she jus' kinda mosied after me. Ah jus' mosied faster. Wail, she almost foun' me a few tahms, but Ah managed ta eeee-lude her by some kinda luck, which Ah ain' figgered out yet!"
Trinity looks at the picture again. "That wig don' look half bad, ya know?"
Looks like We may have a "Formal" weddin, White Shotgun. ;D
;D :D ;D
Marshal sends telegraph to Delmonico, "When is Sadie Hawkins Day?" Stop
;D :D ;D
With the memory of Clem's wedding still fresh in his mind, Trinity wakes up early and heads out to the stills with a cartload of strawberries.
Quote from: Trinity on June 03, 2006, 05:09:54 PM
With the memory of Clem's wedding still fresh in his mind, Trinity wakes up early and heads out to the stills with a cartload of strawberries.
Strawberry Squeezins?
(http://www15.plala.or.jp/lively-p/food_ichigo.jpg)
"That thar looks lahk some kanda fruity drank tha wimmin lahk ta drank. When ah'm done with strawberry squeezins, they ain' raid no more. It ain' purdy, but tastes good!" ;D
I thank he's a making that special for Sadie Hawkins day, whenever it might be?? ???
"Ah'm tryin' not ta make tha Hayre EEE-radicatin' tonic agin! D'ya wanna try tha first batch?"
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on June 03, 2006, 07:39:42 PM
I thank he's a making that special for Sadie Hawkins day, whenever it might be?? ???
It is in November. Ask Slim.....he posted it last fall as a memorial holilday.
<Arthur's note: November 13th is Sadie Hawkins Day.>
<<I'll make sure to mark my calendar for this auspicious event! ::)>>
With Cammie gone from the ranch, Delmonico comes out of the brush along the Dismal river and hooks his new device up. He builds up the fire in the Steam Traction Engine and heads to the barn callin', "here kitty kitty, here kitty kitty." :o :o :o :o :P
Trinity draws a bead with his Pea Shooter and.... Patooey...Smack! He nails Delmonico right on the forhead with a pea. "Don' be messin' wif The Cat!"
Slim rides into the yard with a panther tied o'er the warbags. "Del, I got a kitty fer ya." ;D
Since Slim is lousy with knots, they slip and the big kitty works him over good and departs. ;D
Delmonico goes to the pantry and opens a can of anchovies and goes and gets his fly rod. He baits it with an anchovie and goes out to the barn yard and starts makin' false casts. ::) He drops the anchovie right near Slims milkin' stall. ::) Delmonico figgers this is a good place to catch a cat. ;D
Slim licks his wounds. ::)
Slim's panther smells the anchovies and snatches the rod right outta Del's hands!
Delmonico grabs the rod as the line on the reel whips out with the kitty headin' for the Dismal. He hands it to Slim and says, "Reel it in Slim, I got the big one on the line, the "King of the Dismal,"
Slim being gullible reels it in and has to like his wounds again. ;D
:o"Don' take it Sleeeum, I's a trick!" Trinity goes back inside and opens a can of potted meat. "Ah kain' watch."
The monkey who has been watching from his perch on the roof, sees the slack go out of the line that Slims a holding on to, he jumps from the roof and grabs Slim around his leg about boot top high and wraps his tail around the porch post, Slim a thinking something has attacked him drops the pole just as the cat takes pole, line and everything off toward the Dismal.
Trinity spreads the fingers of his hand which covers his eyes. He doesn't really want to see what the cat got, but is morbidly curious.
The cat still not knowing what has him runns around the barn and gets cunfused and runs back toward the house at full speed with his eyes closed.
Trinty has already had a scrape with a cat (and a much smaller one at that) so he decides that now is not the time to be hiding behind his hand. He runs out of the house and into Delmonico's workshop.
Delmonico closes the door and locks it, "It worked, I got you in here, now I'm going to use you to build my latest invention. The steam powered cat skinner was all a ruse, I knew Slim's Mt. Lion would chase you in here." :o ::) ;D ;)
Quote from: Delmonico on June 06, 2006, 09:09:44 PM
Delmonico closes the door and locks it, "It worked, I got you in here, now I'm going to use you to build my latest invention.
Fraken-Trinity?? Are you gonna train him to carry his own books to skool?
(http://www.mary-shelley-frankenstein.com/images/books_07.gif)
BTW...I saw what you did to the dog!
(http://www.ahomls.com/images%5Cfrankenstein.JPG)
"Books!?!!? What fer do Ah wanna cary books fer? They's fer puttin' unner table laigs an' such."
Early in the mornin' The folks at The Ranch With No Name are awaked by a lot of poundin'. sawin' and other such noises from Delmonico's workshop. Every once in a while ya can hear Trinity scream. ;D
Camille slowly wakes up to find herself sitting on the ground under a huge tree.
I have got to quit eating before I sleep. I just had the strangest dream.
About that time she hears a shrill scream coming from the direction of the barn. :D
Delmonico leaves the barn, lockin' it as he leaves. He goes to the dugout where he stores the coal and brings several wheelbarrows full to the Steam Traction Engine and fills it with water. He opens the fire box and starts a fire of wood, addin' coal as the fire gets hotter. ::)
As he fires up the Steam Traction Engine a pitiful sobbin' can be heard from the barn. ;D
"Lemme go, dern you! LEMME GO! Ah promise, Ah won' never tawlk 'bout yer squarsh glop agin!"
<<Shrill? Just how shrill??>> ;D ;D
<Whisper on: Just keep crankin' the Phony-Graph, put on the wax cylinder with the blood curdling scream next, I think I've got them beliving it.> ::)
Delmonico runs the Traction Engine down to the barn and runs the drive belt through the window, he goes in and locks the door behind him. ;D
Delmonico whispers to Trinity as they eat their supper, "Crank up the fony-graf again, Cammie's peekin' in." ;D
Trinity starts cranking. "What is we doin' Dail?"
Quote from: Delmonico on June 07, 2006, 05:39:25 PM
Delmonico whispers to Trinity as they eat their supper, "Crank up the fony-graf again, Cammie's peekin' in." ;D
;D
'Look out Cammie, Dell's cooking up a Bushwhack fer Ya. :o
;D :D ;D
Nope for the sheepherder, Delmonico takes a large gooseberry bush from the workshop and whacks the sheepherder 40 times.
Delmonico gave the sheepherder 40 whacks,
When he seen what he had done
He gave him another to make it 41.
Quote from: Delmonico on June 07, 2006, 06:54:39 PM
Nope for the sheepherder, Delmonico takes a large gooseberry bush from the workshop and whacks the sheepherder 40 times.
Delmonico gave the sheepherder 40 whacks,
When he seen what he had done
He gave him another to make it 41.
Ye--owwww! >:(
Jes fer that You get none of My Grandma's Secret Gooseberry jellie. >:(
Trinity's arm is very tired by now, but the cylinder is still spinning. This is the most work Trinity has done in over five years and he doesn't even know why he's doing it. ;D ;D ;D
Note; We reached page 666 in Newbrassky on 6/6/06. ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on June 07, 2006, 07:07:08 PM
Note; We reached page 666 in Newbrassky on 6/6/06. ;D
One problem there...today is the 7th.
"He had me confused thar." ??? :D
Oh, thats right it was yesterday they was talkin' bout that on the radio.
Neeever Mind. ::)
<<Oh well, while we are on Satan's page, we should do something evil ;D ;)>>
Delmonico grabs his rag and can of turpintine and turpintines Trinity again. ;D He laughs as Trinity runs out of the barn and scoots accross the grass like a dog with an itchy butt. ::) :P
Quote from: Trinity on June 07, 2006, 07:22:02 PM
<<Oh well, while we are on Satan's page, we should do something evil ;D ;)>>
I ain't touchin that with a ten foot pol.
Delmonico goes to the Dismal to cut Cammie a 12 foot pole. ;D
12 ain't gonna verk either
Most Poles I know are about 6 foot and they let ya know they ain't Bohunks. ;D They all like my pork and kraut though. ::)
Quote from: Delmonico on June 07, 2006, 07:37:59 PM
Most Poles I know are about 6 foot and they let ya know they ain't Bohunks. ;D They all like my pork and kraut though. ::)
:o :o :o
Quote from: Delmonico on June 07, 2006, 07:37:59 PM
Most Poles I know are about 6 foot and they let ya know they ain't Bohunks. ;D They all like my pork and kraut though. ::)
;D :D ;D
::)
Czech folks who's ancestors came from the Bohemia region are the last group of folks you can use the slang term for and tell ethnical jokes about, i know I get the best ones from them.
"sides that I'm an Honoray Czech/Bohunk, anyone can be one by birth, few can be an honorary one.
Vita Vas
A telagram arrives. cusin del stop will be in new-brass- key sat stop two week visit stop have chili stop no grits guts nuts stop tell ruben bringing canape stop DArchangel (canape is my mule med. donkey and shetland pony.except for the 71/2 colt thats all most as long as the leg its straped to, he makes me look like john wayne.)
Slim sits on the porch eatin' breakfast and watchin' the sights at the ranch. ;D ;D ;D ;D
Delmonico sends a telly-gram, is tongue chili ok stop got lots of coffee stop
Since Trinity has fell asleep, Delmonico moves the Steam Traction Engine back where it belongs and leaves the door unlocked so Trinity can leave when he wakes up. ;D
Last post was #6666. Just missed page 666 on 6-6-06.
This place is dangerous (an' Biblically mystical.)
Quote from: Forty Rod on June 08, 2006, 09:47:25 AM
Last post was #6666. Just missed page 666 on 6-6-06.
This place is dangerous (an' Biblically mystical.)
Today is the 8th. ::) Del had this problem yesterday on the 7th. ;D
It's even better, 666 three days in a row. I always thought this was a mythical thread. ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on June 08, 2006, 10:15:44 AM
It's even better, 666 three days in a row. I always thought this was a mythical thread. ;D
:D
:o :o
Ya'll need to Repent!
>:(
;D :D ;D
Delmonico notes that the Summer Solstice is comin' in a few weeks, he sends a telly-gram to his cuzin' in south-easter Newbrassky, down on the South Fork of the Little Nemaha near Bobstown. (Google that one up Slim I know where it was ;D) cut fire wood and put it in the oak grove stop will be there for the summer solstice stop will build bonfire at midnite stop plan on dancin' naked stop ;D :o :o ::) ;)
<Arthur's note: That was the South Fork of the North Spoon?> :D
<Authors Note: Ya still googlin' fer Bobstown.>
"Ah thank Ah jes heard one of them Hellfahr an' Brimstone preachers what Ah was so glad ta git away from back east. Always pushin' his own agenda on tha others. Why kain' they jus' let folks believe in what they wan' an' let it be? Ah'll bet he don' wanna know what Ah believe in. Wail... mebbe Ah should say what Ah don' believe in. Kain' have tha one without tha other, so it's neither fer me. ;D"
Dail, Ah gots us a huge pile of fahrwood yonder. Ah had so much fun at last years summer solstice daince, Ah wanned ta make sure we had enough agin this year. We's gonna have us a BIIIIIIG fahr! ;D ;D"
Now let me get this straight dance naked at the summer soltice, with a big fir a going,
does this involve fresh squeezings in any way ??? :o
"Naw, after what happent ta poor ol' Stumpy last year, Dail said no squeezin's this year. :'("
Huh? Oh, we give Stumpy that name at tha daince last year. He don' lahk it much, why?"
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on June 08, 2006, 08:48:53 PM
Now let me get this straight dance naked at the summer soltice, with a big fir a going,
does this involve fresh squeezings in any way ??? :o
;D
Is dat like that 'Burning Man thang?' :o
;D :D ;D
in our best Porter Wagoner & Dolly Parton voices.
Daddy was an old time preacher man
He preacher the word of God throughout the land
He preached so plain a child could understand
Yes, Daddy was an old time preacher man
He told the people of he need to pray
He talked about God's wrath and judgement day
He preached about the great eternity
He preached hell so hot that you could feel the heat
Yes, Daddy was an old time preacher man
Aunt Leanona would get up to testify
And we'd sing "In The Sweet By And By"
The we'd sing "I'm On My Way To Canaan Land"
Yes, Daddy was an old time preacher man
Revivals and camp meetings went for weeks
Folks came from all around to hear him preach
Daddy said if one is saved it's worth it all
But the aisles were always filled at altar calls
Yes, Daddy was an old time preacher man
Daddy worked for God but asked for no pay
For he believed that God provides a way
We never had a lot but we got by
Guess it's 'cause the Lord was on Daddy's side
Yes, Daddy was an old time preacher man
<Authors Note; Druids. I thought about becomin' one a few years ago right after I tolt a certain Sky-Pilot to go to.......... and leave me the........ alone. Seems we had a slight disagreement on theolagy. It's best ya don't ask, the head elder of the church tolt him he done riled me up and had better leave me alone if he valued his person. Ain't heard from him since. >:(
Delmonico heads off in a huff and considers burnin' the church down in Dunning. (I tolt ya not to rile him.) then he considers that the Sky-Pilot there ain't pushy and don't bother folks unless they ask fer help. ;) Instead he heads off to the barn and locks himself up in his workshop again. ::)
Slim gather milch and eggs. He wonders what Del is upto in his workshop. He hears a growl behind him. :o :o :o :o
could it be the new "chicken" that Trinity brought home yesterday, the saleman told him it was a fancy chicken. :-\ ??? :o
Slim slowly turns around.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!
Eggs and milch go flyin' thru the air.
Delmonico watches from the workshop window as the ugly chicken chases Slim accross the sandhills. :o ::)
cusin del if no real cow meat subsitute cat stop remove stray hair from skining stop meat stringy but tasty stop invite miss camile stop DArchangle
Dang bird looks like a seven pound fishin' fly. Wonder what you'd catch with somethin' like that.
Del, take the hood off the Ford an' scrub it out real good. Your skillet ain't no ways gonna be big enough.
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on June 09, 2006, 09:32:12 AM
Slim slowly turns around.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!
Eggs and milch go flyin' thru the air.
Faster than anyone has ever seen Trinity move and faster than he himself thought he could move, Trinity darts out into the yard and safely catches each egg and container of Milch.
"Ol' Sleeum's gonna be gone fer tha weekend. Kain' waste this valuable stuff!" Trinity says to anyone listening and carrys the goods into the kitchen. Fining OT there, he says: "The feller said that that thar giganto-chicken ain' 'posed ta chase folk. Hmmmm."
One thing about it, if that thar chicken lays eggs, it' outa be able to feed us all,
slim's a gonna havta learn how to bob and weave when he goes ta gathers eggs.
"In that case, Ah might have ta eat only ten aigs fer breakfast!"
Delmonico comes out of the workshop, locks it up and says, "That looks like one a dem Ohno birds ta me." :o ::) :D ;)
<<Arthurs note: As in Yoko?>>
As in you can't say that on this wire. :D :D :D :D :D
"Dail done tolt me tha story about tha Ohno bird last night. Ah'd say OHNO too!!! :o :o ::) ::) ;D
Just afore Noon, Delmonico goes back to the workshop. ??? :o ::) ;)
Slim is still runnin' from the strange chicken. :o :o :o :o
Ozark sets up a snare and catches the strange chicken by the leg, I figured you was getting tired since that thang's been a chasing ya since about 9:30 this morning. we done lost count of the times ya been around the house, we can't count that high. ;D
Delmonico comes out of the workshop and locks up. ::)
OT, I don't know where you tied that snare off, but your pickup is follerin' that dang bird down the road backwards.
"Bird Thang! Git back hair righch now!!" Hearing Trinity's stern command, the strange chicken returns to the ranch with head lowered and the truck still tied to its neck.
The bird holds to Trinity's ever word, he seems almost hymotized by the voice. the bird responds to Trinity's ever command. he's almost like a hunting falcon, cepting he stands abut 4 ft tall and kant fly.
<Authors Note, I had a friend in highs chool that had a Falcon Station Wagon, with its 6 cylinder and automatic transmission it couldn't fly either,> ::)
he probaly needed some of them high preformance spark plugs and ethyl gas
Quote from: Delmonico on June 12, 2006, 05:55:18 PM
<Authors Note, I had a friend in highs chool that had a Falcon Station Wagon, with its 6 cylinder and automatic transmission it couldn't fly either,> ::)
<<Arthurs note: I used to eat ice cream at Highs ice cream parlor in Danville (http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/food/74.gif) ;D ;D ;D>>
was that won of them 21 flavors place
Seeing how the bird has taken to him, Trinity puts him to work:
"Bird Thang, go git me an' OT a jug o' Korn." "Bird Thang, go git us a plate o' steaks." "Bird Thang, go brang us another jug."
Delmonico looks out of the kitchen window, "Ok you can keep him Trinity, but don't let him eat no mulberry's." :P
Trinity, whar is that sheep skirt you had when Del had the eating place? it'd look good on that bird with the hare cut it's got.
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on June 12, 2006, 06:02:31 PM
was that won of them 21 flavors place
<<Naw, they had lots of flavors, but it wasn't a Baskin Robins. My favorite flavor was Fudge Ripple. I think I had another favorite with caramel, but that was a long time ago.>>
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on June 12, 2006, 06:06:28 PM
Trinity, whar is that sheep skirt you had when Del had the eating place? it'd look good on that bird with the hare cut it's got.
"That weren't me. Sleeum had that thang, but Ah'll bet he don' have it no more. Ah thank he burnt it up." ;D ;D
Quote from: Trinity on June 12, 2006, 06:11:20 PM
. My favorite flavor was Fudge Ripple.
Mmmmmmmmmmm fudge anything
"He did, but I had spares." ;D
<My wife and I been hittin' the B&R right regular lately, they gots a Nutty Cocanut that's really good, coconut ice cream with English walnuts and almonds in it, whole ones at that.>
"Bird Thang, git outta that mulberry bush an' go git us some hot fudge from Dail!"
Sod Buster returns to his Soddy after a satisfying day watching the Coyotes teach their young pups how to kill sheep. Sod Buster did keep a watchful eye on them just in case they decided to try thier luck on one of Litl' Rooster's calves......they didn't. They are free to kill as many sheep <spit> as they want.
Quote from: Sod Buster on June 12, 2006, 10:11:48 PM
Sod Buster returns to his Soddy after a satisfying day watching the Coyotes teach their young pups how to kill sheep. Sod Buster did keep a watchful eye on them just in case they decided to try thier luck on one of Litl' Rooster's calves......they didn't. They are free to kill as many sheep <spit> as they want.
;D :D ;D
Marshall watchers as nemitodes strangle Sodbusters Plants, especially His Corn. There be sprse squeezings this year.
:o ??? :P
Delmonico goes to the shop and gets his new invention, it attaches to the steam traction engine which is fired up and ready. After several hours driving he reaches Sod Busters place and put in the PTO clutch and sprays his corn crop, killin' the Neemi-toads. As he heads back he runs over several sheep, alas even when dried in the sun, no one will want to toss them, like the F.R.I.S.B.E.E. (Flattened Racoon In Sun Become's Exciting Entertainment)
Trinity, who has been keeping his bird out of Del's mulberry bush, decides to speriment with the plants pulls out his pocket knife and creates, to the dismay of everyone, a topiary art creation.
Delmonico gets back to the Ranch With No Name and sees Trinity's artwork. Since the Steam Traction Engine is hot and runnin' a chain on it's draw bar takes care of the problem. :o
Delmonico banks the fire anf goes to the workshop and locks the door. :o
Why didn't I ever think of something like that. I've had neighbors I'd love to have annoyed.
Quote from: Delmonico on June 13, 2006, 08:59:13 AM
Delmonico goes to the shop and gets his new invention, it attaches to the steam traction engine which is fired up and ready. After several hours driving he reaches Sod Busters place and put in the PTO clutch and sprays his corn crop, killin' the Neemi-toads. As he heads back he runs over several sheep, alas even when dried in the sun, no one will want to toss them, like the F.R.I.S.B.E.E. (Flattened Racoon In Sun Become's Exciting Entertainment) :'(
Oh did Ah mention Dem Neemi-toads are not subject to sprayes. :o Even Annie-Lea would not run over Sheep. Darn Dust in eyes. :'(
"Bird Thang, eat this here corn an' go ta Sod Buster's field what he let lay fallow this year. Extry squeezin's this year!!"
Trinity pulls out his pocket knife and starts working on another bush and faces it right at the door to startle Delmonico when he comes out in the morning.
(http://www.lindaplato.com/images/Gardens/English/Giant%20head%20at%20Heligan.jpg)
Sheep is not dead. He's over at Trinity's still site number 11 drinking. Several sheep, however, are dead. Pretty soon, Trinity is going to have to skin them and replace the shearling house covering that he installed a few months ago. Shearling makes a warm insulator for humans, but isn't that great for houses that sit in out the elements day in and day out... Everybody is complaining about the smell of the rotting skins.
Quote from: Delmonico on June 13, 2006, 08:59:13 AM
Delmonico goes to the shop and gets his new invention, it attaches to the steam traction engine which is fired up and ready. After several hours driving he reaches Sod Busters place and put in the PTO clutch and sprays his corn crop, killin' the Neemi-toads. As he heads back he runs over several sheep, alas even when dried in the sun, no one will want to toss them, like the F.R.I.S.B.E.E. (Flattened Racoon In Sun Become's Exciting Entertainment)
Sod Buster sends a note of thanks to Del for dispatching those pesky Nemitoads...even though they were only a figment of the Sheepherders imagination. Sod Buster picks up one of the sheep carcasses and takes it to the Nebraska wolves (coyotes) to give them the scent of what they need to be hunting. After the momma wolf gets the scent, she trots off with the pups in tow....towards the sheep <spit>.
<Authors Note: Seen a bumper sticker a time or two;
Eat More Lamb, 10,000,000 Coyotes Can't Be Wrong
>
them sheep that died musta been weak, why I been a drinking Trinity's brew since I been heer and I'm still a kicking
Quote from: Delmonico on June 13, 2006, 09:35:20 PM
<Authors Note: Seen a bumper sticker a time or two;
Eat More Lamb, 10,000,000 Coyotes Can't Be Wrong
>
;D
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on June 12, 2006, 04:54:03 PM
Ozark sets up a snare and catches the strange chicken by the leg, I figured you was getting tired since that thang's been a chasing ya since about 9:30 this morning. we done lost count of the times ya been around the house, we can't count that high. ;D
"Thanks, Ozark. I was gittin' kinda tired." ::) ::) ::)
Delmonico comes out on the porch, sees Trinity's "Artwork" and goes and gets The Steam Traction Engine fired up for the job at hand. :o
Ozark comes around the corner of the barn as Del fires up the boiler, lo and behold there in the distance, (about where still # 11 is located) the strangest site we've seen all day (at least up till now). Ozark and Del stand staring, Slim who's in the house comes out to see what there a looking at.
"Uuuuuh aaaaaaaaaaah!" ;D ;D ;D ;D
Delmonico is just awed as he says, "Where in the sam heck did that mountian come from?" ::) :o ;D
It's one of them optical illusions, it's really one of them sand hills
Delmonico says, "It's a meee-rouge, well if it's hot enough for that kind of meee-rouge and with them funny lookin' clouds comin' in ya better take cover, it might storm." ;D
<Author's Note: I just checked the radar for fun, yes there is a couple small but heavy thunderstorms right now as I type in the area of The Ranch With No Name.> ::)
Ozark runs around the house before thinking of asking Del where the root cellar is, I ain't been here in any storm season ???
Trinity sheepishly walks up singed black and with steam still rising from the accident. "Ah knew Ah shouldn'ta lit that ceegar with all them un-koked jugs aroun'!" :-[
we thought we was about to have one of them cyclones, we got them back home in Arkansas, why they'll take yer still and all the jugs too.
"If'n that happens, Ah'll lasso tha bugger an' brang 'im down! >:( >:( >:("
Delmonico says, 'the cellar is under the house, go into the pantry and go down the stairs. Also the oringial Ranch House the dugout where I keep the coal should be fine also." ;)
Frowning, Trinity sits and begins to braid himself a lasso.
delmonico looks at the hide Trinity is cuttin' up to braid, "Ow. boy, that is the one from the "Slow Elk" slim Shot last week, I tolt him to bury it away from the ranch, it's got the brand of the Cody/North ranch on it. Buffalo bill is gonna have Slim's hide if he finds out." ;D ::)
Trinity finishes with the lasso and starts to practice his tricks. In less than a minute he is tangled up and in a pile on the ground.
The monkey comes out of the barn see's Trinity and jumps aboard his dog gallops over to Trinity, takes his tying rope and bulldogs trinity and has his legs and hand tied in record breaking time.
Trinity is not very happy. He's only got a little while before the storms come and he still has practicing to do if he expects to be able to lasso a tornado. Now, thanks to the showboating monkey, he cannot move at all.
Ozark comes walking around the corner of the house just in time to see the monkey throwing his hands up from tying Trinity, he goes over and unties Trinity and explains that the roping was the monkey's speciality in the rodeo,
You'all gonna havta quit playing that wind has done switched around them clouds are starting to come in awful low.
we gonna havta keep a watch for them storms.
Trinity goes back to practicing with the lasso. He finally works enough so that he was able to lasso a small sheep in the yard, but he was too anxious and ended up breaking its neck as he pulled it in. Taking the sheep, he goes to the steps leading to the bohunkhouse and lays the sheep out spreadeagled like a rug.
To the occupants of the bohunkhouse he calls out: "Ah'll skin that feller later. Got more impo'tan' thangs ta do raht now. Until then, wahp yer feet on tha sheep!"
Slim comes back to his senses after admiring the purty colors in the sky. He decides he better milchen the cow 'fore she starts ta leak like Del. ;D ;D ;D ;D
that sky does look kinda unusual
:o :o :o :o :o :o :o"Oh nooooooooooooo!!! Still number nine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
if'n that ws still #9, you musta had a lot of jugs bottled up.
"Them was tha new recipe with strawrberries, an' yes, tha bottles was all closed up. :( :("
Delmonico finishes the breakfast dishes and fires up the Steam Traction Engine. When it is ready he starts off with the threshin' machine to Sodbusters so they can threash his wheat. :o
"Bout an hour and a half later Delmonico walks back to the Ranch With No Name. "Hey who's home? I got my Steam Traction Engine stuck, I need help." ::)
Quote from: Delmonico on June 17, 2006, 10:50:39 AM
"Bout an hour and a half later Delmonico walks back to the Ranch With No Name. "Hey who's home? I got my Steam Traction Engine stuck, I need help." ::)
;D :D ;D
In My grandfathers pictures I have an origanal print of that very engine. He was a early photographer, don't know for sure, but He may have taken the picture.
Now ta get You out, It will take about 4 yokes of Oxen or 100+sheep to pull You out. ;D
::)
So what was his name, I know who took it.
Benjamin W. Homfeld
Don't know for sure, but I still have a 5x7 print.
Ya can call me at 4809869526.
Marshall Harpolluke, aka Louis Homfeld Jr.
Nope Solomon Butcher and in Buffalo County in Newbrassky.
Quote from: Delmonico on June 17, 2006, 04:25:14 PM
Nope Solomon Butcher and in Buffalo County in Newbrassky.
Like I said don't know for sure, the print is unsigned. My granfather was Edie Rickenbackers Mechanic in France in WWI but also took many arial pictures and glass plates I have many of His origanal negatives some of Nebrasky N Kansas. ;D
My Grandfather probably knew Him. He would have been a young man at that time. He was a Preachers Son.
Quote from: Delmonico on June 17, 2006, 10:50:39 AM
"Bout an hour and a half later Delmonico walks back to the Ranch With No Name. "Hey who's home? I got my Steam Traction Engine stuck, I need help." ::)
Sod Buster comes to the Ranch looking for Del since he never showed up to thresh the wheat. Along the way he sees the tractor.
"Hey Del, I can pull ya out with a couple of teams of my plowin' horses. Then send Trinity to fix the bridge. I got some malted whiskey made with the barley crop that he can have....but only if'n he fixes the bridge."
Excited about the offer of malted whiskey, Trinity sets to work right away on the bridge. With the new bridge Trinity exhibits the same wood working abilities as with the bunkhouse on which the FFG ( :'() used her magic to move to an unused portion of the ranch.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/Other%20Stuff/old20bridge.jpg)
Delmonico looks at Trinty's mess and calls out a crew to build a steel bridge. ::)
"Whah don' nobody ever lahk what Ah build!?? :( Do Ah still git tha whiskey??"
Delmonico says, "of course not."
"Ah done he'ped fix tha bridge as requested. Ah DESERVE tha whiskey!" >:(
Delmonico ignores Trinity, because he now has his Steam Traction Engine back upright and level. ;D Lookin' off across the prairie he spies a racoon, he drops the Threashin' Machine off the Draw bar and throws in three big shovel fulls of coal and lests out the clutch, it's F.R.I.S.B.E.E. time again. ;D
Quote from: Trinity on June 18, 2006, 02:15:25 PM
"Whah don' nobody ever lahk what Ah build!?? :( Do Ah still git tha whiskey??"
Nope. Yer efforts were substandard. Del's bridge is much better. He has earned the prize.
<Arthur's note: Is the wheat is Newbrasssssssky ready fer threshin' already? Wiscoooooooonsin wheat ain't no wheres ready yet.>
<Author's Note: Just startin' I think Texas and Oklahome shoud be about done, Kansas should be going full bore, they'll make it up yer way when it's done down here. The custom harvester I know was loadin up the last weekend in May when I went by.>
<Arthur's note: The wheat field 'round the house are awful weedy this year; more yellar than green. If I 'member right, it should be at least another month 'fore the threshin' starts.>
Slim rides in from the northeast and sees a BIG cloud of black smoke. "Del must be playing with his traction engine, agin." ::)
When I row cropped farm in Oklahoma, we always were going on our wheat by June 10th even if it was a wet year and took a while to ripen. and then go as many hours a day as possible.
Who ever sang that song about " I seen sunny days I thought would never end." I thought he must have driven a combine berfore.
Who IS that UGLY old woman in Delmonico's avitar??? Thats too sick even for Duck Bill Hickcock!!!
Quote from: DArchangel on June 19, 2006, 03:12:37 PM
Who IS that UGLY old woman in Delmonico's avitar??? Thats too sick even for Duck Bill Hickcock!!!
"Psst. Ah wanned ta say tha same thang, but we gotta ate 'roun' hair... an' it would be best without castor earl" ;D
Wouldn't that be a neat alias?
Castor Earl.
That alias would be right up Del's alley! ;D
Quote from: Sod Buster on June 18, 2006, 09:45:13 PM
Nope. Yer efforts were substandard. Del's bridge is much better. He has earned the prize.
"That jus' ain' fair!" :( :( :( >:( >:(
Quote from: Trinity on June 19, 2006, 05:17:17 PM
"That jus' ain' fair!" :( :( :( >:( >:(
You are allowed a make-up project for extra credit. Make something useful and do a good job.
but we know Trinity, off he heads to the race track and in the middle of the track the no name swimming hole. It's a hot afternoon and Trinity strips down to his skivys and off he runs to cool off a little
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on June 19, 2006, 08:55:08 PM
but we know Trinity, off he heads to the race track and in the middle of the track the no name swimming hole. It's a hot afternoon and Trinity strips down to his skivys and off he runs to cool off a little
;D :D ;D LOL
Kinda reminds Ya of the 'Excruciating Pain' senario! :o
LOL
;D
<<Arthur's note: Ouch!>>
Trinity jumps, but luckily the large fish leaps out of the water at the same time, and is met by Trinity in the air and is squashed between the stalagmite and Trinity. Trinity slides off of the slippery guts into the pond, never aware of the danger that almost befell his colon.
Trinity climbs back on the bank, mumbling to hisself, dang fish, like to have knocked me outa the pond.
Suddenly he hears somebody in the kitchen and runs to investigate, in the hopes that someone will have prepared some food. He is quite a distance away, but like a cat can hear a can opener, Trinity can hear rummaging around in the icebox.
<<And you thought he would dive in again, didn't you?>>
Naw! I knew you thought that fishes momma was just a waiting for ya to jump back in.
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on June 20, 2006, 05:58:04 PM
Naw! I knew you thought that fishes momma was just a waiting for ya to jump back in.
;D :D ;D
:o
;D
<Arthur's note: Re-enactment of Jonah and da BIG fish. ;D>
Slim puts the milch and eggs in the icebox. He puts on a fresh pot of coffee.
Delmonico glides up to the house with his Steam Traction Engine, "there is flatened racoons all over out there." A few days of this heat and we'll be able to have a F.R.I.S.B.E.E. Day." ::)
<Author's Note. Be sure you flatten them first, my brother tried it the other day with one that had not been flattened, it exploded on him. Luckly he was usin' a back-hoe.> ::) :P
Trinity wakes up full of excitement and run outside without eating breakfast first. He collects Bird Thang, Monkey, Sheep, The Cat and Frankenbird and they all begin putting together a large pile of wood and gather enough extra to last all night. Next he removes all of his clothes and practices his naked summer solstice dance.
Delmonico comes in all excited, we fergot to go to Eastern Newbrassky, but I found three burr oaks up in a bend on the Dismal. We gots to be there by dark. ::)
"Now, things are gettin' strange." ::)
"What 'bout all this hair fahr wood?"
Delmonico unbacks the fire in the Steam Traction Engine, shovels in a couple shovelfuls of coal and hooks up a wagon. :o Toss it in the wagon and get up in the cab with me. ;)
"Uhhh, Trinity, put yer clothes and boots back on till we get there, ya see this iron door, I got to open it once in a while and throw in more coal, sparks sometimes come out." :o :o :o
:o :o :o "Good idear! Kin all tha critters come with us? Whar's Duke, his wives an' pups?"
"Load em up, but ya might want to tie up Duke when we get there, he has such a cold nose." :o
"He don' come sniffin' roun' me. Tha last tahm he did, he left a-whimperin'. Ah din' touch him, honest!"
"Maybe we should stop and pick up the sheepherder, 'bout time he repented and became a Druid like us." ;D ;D
As of right now I officiously don't know none of you guys.
I'm weird, but you all? Lordamighty.
Trinity, you...put...your...clothes...on or I'll tell Ray Stevens an' Ma!!!
"Ah done put mah clothes back on. Raght after that spark touched mah.... laig, Ah finally dee-cided ta take Dail's suggestion.
"Dail, Ah don' see tha sheepherder nowheres. Ah thought he maght be a-lurkin' somewhere's, but he ain'. Ah'll bet he's already thayre."
"Nope he's not lurkin' no where I went and checked, yer right maybe he has repented." ::)
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm"
Ozark comes running out to see what's going on. he sees everbody loaded into the wagon and on the steam engine, he gets his possibles bag and loads up in the wagon.
Are we a going Swimming?????? we are going swimming ain't we??????
::) ::) ::) ::) ::)
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on June 19, 2006, 01:54:22 PM
Who ever sang that song about " I seen sunny days I thought would never end." I thought he must have driven a combine berfore.
James Taylor
that's the one, I always figured I had lived that line after driving a tractor and a combine for 25 years in that hot Oklahoma sun.
Trinity sees Duke and his families. They line up and follow, one after the other like a very large duck family.
well looks like everybody is finally loaded up. the steams built up, looks like we ready to travel. ;D
"Ah'm ready ta daince nekkid 'roun' tha fahr!" ;D ;D ;D
"Thar he is! Thar he is!" Trinity exclaims excitedly. "Tha sheepherder is a-lurkin'!!" ;D ;D ;D
being as how the steam is several miles from home now and it would be quite a walk back, Ozark looks at Trinity and says
" now tell me again, why is it you gonna dance nekkid around a far" it hain't cold!! :o
"Wail, tha summer solstice is also called "Midsummer" and is tha longest day of tha year... longest amount of sunlaght. This hair is tha time when tha womin folk is 'posed ta be the most fer-tyle. We pay homage to them and to the sun god by daincin' nekked roun' a fahr when tha sun finally goes down. Back in ol' England, tha druids used ta celebrate it at stonehenge. Del done foun' a place in Eastern Newbrassskey fer us this yair. They's more to it, but that's it in a nutshell.
"Ooooooh! Ah kin almost hair tha drums, kin you?" ;D
As the sun goes down in Newbrassky, the reach the three Burr Oaks on the bend of the Dismal. They pile up the wood and Delmonico opens the fire box and shovels some hot embers on the wood.
With a slight "Woooof" sound, the wood begins to burn.
The Indians over in the Indian Territory back home, used to have a green corn dance about this time of the year. they used to dance for 3 days but they was a wearing clothes, they had them tom- tom drums,, is we gona have some of them tom-toms ???
"It's all part of the same observance. Just differ'n' cultures. Yeah, We's gonna have tha drums. They's gettin' louder. Kain' ya hair them yet?"
I thank I'm starting to hear em now, did you bring a ceramonial jug ??? I could hear em beter ifn we had one.
Delmonico has a 5 gallon bucket of coal oil he keeps dippin' wood in afore tossin' it on the ever larger fire. ;D
Del's got a good fire a going, I can feel the heat plum over here
Delmonico keeps soakin' wood and tossin' it on as well as coal from the bin on the Steam Traction Engine. ;D
Slim comes out to the porch and sees a BIG fire by the Dismal. "I sure hope whoever bilt dat far don't set the prairie on far too." ::) Slim goes into the kitchen to put on a fresh pot of coffee. He suddenly has the urge ta howl at dat moon. He goes back out ta the porch and howls at dat moon. :o A family of 'yotes answer him.
Ozark, sitting by the fire as it burns high into the Nebrassky night :-\sky, is startled by a far away howl in the night. he turns to Trinity and Del and ask do we have werewolves up here?
Delmonico says, "Nope, I don't think, the only thing I know about is the sea monster down in Walgen Lake. I think that sounds like Slim." :D
As Delmonico speaks the International Brotherhood of Coyotes, Dismal River Chapter decides to have a Union Meeting in the dooryard of the Ranch With Know Name, since the oak grove on the bend of the Dismal River where they usually meet has a big fire goin'. ;D ;D Coyotes don't like fires even in the winter time. ::)
with all them coyotes a howling up there around the house, slim may come out a blastin with the mighty 10
Sod Buster back at home sees the fire off in the distance and also the big moon. He sits down on the front porch with a bottle of Rye and looks at the big moon, listening to the howling in the distance.
As Ozark Tracker predicted, Slim brings out both his "Mighty Tens" and starts ablastin' 'yotes. ;D
With the bonfire burned out and no more wood or coal left, Delmonico starts to walk home to get a wagon load of coal so he can get his Steam Traction Engine back home. Ozark and Trinity lay naked and asleep in the grass as the chiggers feed on them. ;D
<Arthur's note: Someone will have ta go ta Dunning fer alot of fingernail polish.> ;D ;D ;D
Coal Oil was what they used before. ;D
Be sure ta douse em afore ya bring em back ta tha Ranch Del!
Delmonico gets back with the coal and fires up The Steam Traction Engine. He leaves the empty wagon and the coal oil for Ozark and Trinity. ;D He ties the horses in the shade and leaves a note. "douse yerselves with the coal oil to get rid of the chiggers when you wake up. Go away from the fire, some of those embers are pretty hot." ::)
Quote from: Sod Buster on June 21, 2006, 09:55:33 PM
Sod Buster back at home sees the fire off in the distance and also the big moon. He sits down on the front porch with a bottle of Rye and looks at the big moon, listening to the howling in the distance.
<<Arthurs note: What big moon? There's only a sliver up there. A new moon is on it's way. ;D>>
Trinity awakens and finds himself encompassed by thousands of dead chiggers. It seems that his scent killed them before they could get at his skin. The outside of the circle was comprised of almost dead chiggers struggling to get away.
boy, are we lucky, them chiggers would have made a meal on us if they could have, and I've had some of them back home in Arkansas, they ain't not fun.
<<I think Trinity is the only lucky one here... unless you are as "unclean" as he is. ;D ;D ;D>>
Naw, it ain't that, I done took a bath this month, it was the dern monkey, he was a picking em offn me and eating em as fast as his little hands would move.
Putting his clothes back on, Trinity recollects fondly of the pagan celebration the night before. "That was some kahnda fahr. Our crops should do ver' well this yair. Most impo'tantly is tha cone crop!"
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on June 22, 2006, 06:38:02 PM
boy, are we lucky, them chiggers would have made a meal on us if they could have, and I've had some of them back home in Arkansas, they ain't not fun.
<Arthur's note: My dad is a chigger magnet. ::) >
DAY-AMMM!
I'm sure glad Trinity put his clothes back on. Never could get used to that sight, an' it dang near cost me mine...sight, that is.
Well now with our clothes all in place, Ozark and Trinity look at the wagon that Del left behind, and there is some food that was left in the wagon so they decide to eat and then think about getting home.
Quote from: Trinity on June 22, 2006, 06:18:45 PM
<<Arthurs note: What big moon? There's only a sliver up there. A new moon is on it's way. ;D>>
The one Slim was a-howlin; at:
http://www.cascity.com/forumhall/index.php/topic,974.msg119147.html#msg119147
It was also homage to an Ian Tyson song.
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on June 22, 2006, 06:38:02 PM
boy, are we lucky, them chiggers would have made a meal on us if they could have, and I've had some of them back home in Arkansas, they ain't not fun.
A good home remedy for chigger bites is to rub bacon grease on affected areas of skin. Itching will stop immediately and chigger bites will disappear in 2 or 3 days
authors note; I guess I hate getting chiggers worse than anything else, tick bites only last me a couple of days, but them chiggers can hang on forever it seems like.
we also have buffalo gnats here (arkansas) some years they are awful, whelps up and itches like the dickens
"Mmmmmmmmmmmmm! Bacon grease!!!!!"
Ain't had a chigger since I was a kid.
Fight mosquitoes all summer. Got so bad after a couple storms a few years ago ya couldn't buy insect repellant. Stores all sold out. Drove ta Franklin 'n bought a bunch.
When I was in K-9 the bitin' flies would try ta eat the dogs' ears off. We'd dress 'em down with a mix of citronella 'n Vaseline. Then they'd rub against yer uniform trousers. Whut a mess.................
Quote from: Sod Buster on June 23, 2006, 08:30:45 PM
A good home remedy for chigger bites is to rub bacon grease on affected areas of skin. Itching will stop immediately and chigger bites will disappear in 2 or 3 days
Just remember not to get around a pack of dogs! ;D
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on June 24, 2006, 06:17:29 PM
Just remember not to get around a pack of dogs! ;D
;D :D ;D
Behold Kandi the Attack Chiwawa. :o
::)
;D :D ;D
If Kandi, is like my little dogs, he ain't kidding when he says attack. you'd think he's a great dane.
Trinity and Ozark make their way back to the ranch by way of stills 4, 9 and 11 by the time they get home with a lines of animals following, it's time to hit the hay and get a good nights sleep
Trinity is already asleep as before they arrive. ;D
Slim arrives from the northeast with saddlebags filled with cheese and sausage.
Irish leaves the porch and walks over to Slim and helps him unload his goods!
Welcome back Slim, I think Del got Trinity and Ozark into trouble while you were gone! ;D
"Thanks, Tom. I wouldn't doubt Del would get 'em in trouble." ::)
Ozark comes walking into the house, seeing Slim and Tom with all the goodies, he goes to get a bite.
I'll tell you boys what, I been to 2 state fairs and a wild west show and I ain't never seen nothing like that ceremony Del showed us the other night, wnen we done all that dancing.
I reckon them crops will all be good this year now.
Still on his horse, Trinity jolts awake. *Sniff* *Sniff* "Sausage?"
Trinity runs to where the smell is coming from. In the kitchen he stands and stares at Slim's saddle bag until he unpacks it.
Watchin' all Slim's sausage dissapear down the bottomless pit called Trinity gives Delmonico an idea and he heads to the shop again. ::)
"Wait Dail! Ah din' ate it awl! They's still two links lef... one link lef!"
Ozark, who has been getting some of the cheese before it's all gone, gets that last link and eats it along with the hunk of cheese he has.
where'd Del go, I thought he was over there cooking.
As darkness falls in Newbrassky, coal oil lamps shine out the windows of the barn workshop, along with hammering noises. ;D
"OT, cough up some of that thar sausage ya jes et, stuff it in this hair casin' an' take it ta Dail. Mebbe he'll be in a better mood."
as Ozark and the crew of the ranch sit on the porch, soaking in the cool night air, the peace and quite is broken by the pound of a hammer in the barn shop, each man looks at the others wondering what Del's building now and if it will involve work, when it is finished.
here I got a can of potted meat opened, just put a little of it in thar and go in the kitchen and dip it in that lard we fried them sausage in, Del will think it's the real thing and if he chews it up and swallows then decides it potted meat, well it'll be too late then.
"Was Ah 'posed ta frah tha sausage?"
naw just dip it in the pot there, that'll make it smell like sausage
Black smoke and flames come out of the chim-in-knee of the barn workshop. :o :o ;)
Trinity if'n I was you when I took that sausage out ta the shop, I'd just leave it on a plate and knock on the door and run on back up here ta the house.
Irish sits in the chair on the porch looking at the smoke and flames coming from Del's workshop and wonders what Trinity and Ozark are whispering about. No doubt they are hatching a plan that will get them into trouble, Again!
The curisoty gets to all the fellas sitting on the porch, theyease over to the barn and peek in the tiny window to Del's shop,
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!
Slim runs back ta the porch.
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on June 27, 2006, 09:08:13 AM
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!
After Slims scream pierces the night, the rest of the fellars bump, stumble, fall and finally all run to the porch.
Slim ya need to warn us afor ya let out one of the banchey screams.
Delmonico comes out and says, someone go down to the river and cut us some ash, oak or any other good hardwood, were going to need it soon. ??? ::)
"Fer farwood or lodge poles?"
Slim, I'd be weary of how I worded them questions, he always tells Trinity, he's gonna lodge them poles whar the sun don't shine, if'n he don't cut him some firewood.
Firewood, some dry and some green is fine. No cedar or pine. >:(
Delmonico goes over to the now cold Steam Traction Engine and cleans out the fire box and builds a two story shed over the front end. ??? ::)
Slim hitches a team to the wagon. He puts saws and axes in the wagon. He climbs into the seat. "Anyone coming along?" ::)
Ozark climbs in and tells Slim, now Dels talking, with that green wood, we must be gonna smoke some ribs, just like back home. not none of that cooking right on the fire. low and slow, that's the ticket. and plenty of smoke.
"Coun' me in! Ah wanna be whar the food is a-smokin'! ;D"
Delmonico brings out a large meat grinder/sausage stuffer and sets it down near the Steam Traction engine and stakes itt down well before puttin' the belt on it from the PTO on the Steam Traction Engine. He fires it up using good hard wood and hollors at Trintiy, "Go get me several of Stoney's swine, we're going at this project "Whole Hog." ;D ;D
Trinity runs to the pen and cuts out five of the pigs and chases them toward Delmonico. The pigs run frantically, trying to escape Trinity's scent.
The monkey sees Trinity chasing the pigs, in a flash he jumps astride his faithful dog, Clea. and gives chase. Within a minute the monkey has "hog" tied each of the pigs and is back on his dog and back to the porch laying in the hammock.
Trinity watches in amazement. "Ol' Monkey is the coolest critter on this hair rainch!"
He's just handy as a pocket on a shirt. let's get one of em hogs and start him a cooking.
"Mah pockets ain' handy no more sin' tha FFG lef' us. :'( They awl got holes."
well you know they's some holes can be patched, some holes can't be fixed so easy. they can be filled but they's always a little hole left.
Hey Ozark ya seen tha size a tha holes in Trinity clothes, a little bit iz all thet holds em tagether
Tom, it's done come to the point that his patches need patches.
:(
Dawg gone dust >:(
:'(
Slim drives the wagon towards the Dismal. They get there and cut a wagonload. They drive back to the ranch and unload the wood next ta the Steam engine.
Trinity who has grown bored with the wood cutting takes some of the sap running out of the green wood and uses it to glue the holes in his clothes closed. with one hand stuck to his forehead we all walk up to the porch for some lemonade.
Slim goes into the kitchen and comes back with a bucket of wasser. He throws the wasser on Trinity's head. "That might help git yer hand offa yer forehead." ;D
Trinity passes out when he sees the water coming toward him thinking it's time for his yearly bath! :o
well that was kinda of a double task completed, you might call it a multi task,, that's a good word, I bet someday, people use it to describe doing a couple of things at the same time, mult tasking. yep.
Trinity lay passed out on the floor of the porch in a pool of muddy water with his hand is still stuck to his forehead.
the monkey comes walking along, sees Trinity laying on the porch, picks up a hand ful of dust. sprinkles it all over Trinitys face
Feeling sorry cause they all is so mean to Trinity, Delmonico goes down to The Tall Tales Lost and found and gets his can of turpintine and pours it all over Trinity's hand and forehead, releasing him. ;D
Slim strikes a Lucifer... ;D
Delmonico takes off his clothes to dance naked. ::) :D
The Lucifer burns Slim's fingers and he drops it. :o
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/FIRE5.gif)
"Sorry Trinity!" ;D ;D ;D ;D
Betcha ol' Trinity is glad he wasn't pickin' his nose when he got stuck, or scratchin his...uh, his...uh...BUTT!
Glad to have his hand free, but in pain, Trinity slides off of the porch and cawls underneath. A hand reappears and retrieves a patch of skin left behind then disappears again under the porch. Feably, he answers "No prollem Sleeeum... Ah'll be awright... Shaw is glad Ah weren't scatchin' mahsef wif that sap on mah hands!"
Delmonico says. "What about me I got my <censored> burnt." :o :o
:o
<<Arthur's note: Does anybody want to know
what was burnt?
anyone?
Me neither! >>shudders<< >>
Quote from: Delmonico on June 28, 2006, 07:25:58 PM
Delmonico says. "What about me I got my <censored> burnt." :o :o
;D
:o Since You is All Donky, Ah guess You'ts is about Done. :P
;D :D ;D
LOL
he coulda burnt soming really important he was a dancing nakied
"Del, it's yer own fault fer dancin' nekkid." ::)
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on June 28, 2006, 07:45:47 PM
he coulda burnt soming really important he was a dancing nakied
;D
Yer right, butt that might have been a tad too much information. :o
;D :D ;D
lordy, i just hope none of that turpentine don't get on it. It's spilled around here everywhere
Revived somewhat from a bottle which he had stored under the porch, Trinity cawls back out. In his hand he still clutches the patch of skin.
"Ah thank Ah need some bandages!"
Slim goes in the house and returns with a BIG roll of gauze. He proceeds ta wrap Trinity up like a mummy. ;D
slim, when youi get up there around his head, be sure and leave a pretty good size opening, I kow he'll get houngary sometime soon.
Delmonico sez, "I censored that ta proove yer all perverts, I got the soles of my feet burned. I was a high steppin' when Trinity went up in flames." ::) :P :P
Camille follows Slim's gauze wrap with a bit of twine.
"That should help the gauze stay real good" ::)
Slim leaves an opening in the gauze on the top of Trinity's head. ;D
Camille ties the opening shut with a bow made of twine.
"Perfect" :D
"Thanks fer the help, Cammie." ;D
Knowing sumthin' else is needed to help Trinity, Delmonico heads for his workshop." :o
that bow on top makes it look a little funny
Delmonico comes out of the workshop with a long hollow needle and some rubber tubin'. He sticks the needle in Trinity's arm, Trinity howls till Delmonico hooks the other end up to one of Trinity's jugs of corn squeezin's. ;D ::)
Ahhh...now it's perfect.
Camille dusts her hands off and grins
Trinity is happy, but still points his gauze wrapped hand at the patch of skin that he had rescued. It was still laying on the rocking chair where Slim left it when he began wrapping Trinity.
Delmonico unwraps Trinity's had and glues on the skin with some of the tree sap that caused all the problems. ;D
"Mmmmph mmph mph mmmmmph!" Complains Trinity.
monkey comes draggin a jug toward Trinity, he sits it close, goes out and gets a cattail stem, breaks off the end and sticks it in the jug, takes his hand and picks at the bandages till he can see Trinitys mouth and sticks the stem from the jug in his mouth.
Trinity sighs in relief. He had been concerned that Delmonico glued his right cheek onto the back of his hand, but with a taste of his recipe, it didn't matter anymore.
This thread is soooo relaxing.
(How relaxing is it?)
It's so relaxing I can read it and feel my IQ drop by fifty percent (and I can relax until morning when it comes back to genius level.)
The doctor tells me if I post here every day he ain't gonna have to give me that lobotomy. ;D ::)
;D ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on June 29, 2006, 09:31:58 PM
The doctor tells me if I post here every day he ain't gonna have to give me that lobotomy. ;D ::)
;D
Dell it Ain't possible to do a Lobatomity on a person wit No brains. :o ;D
You've been associationg with the Scarcrowe again. ;)
heh,Heh,HEH!
If I ever have my head worked on I'll have the Doc make me coppies ta show ya I do have them. We all know now I have guts. ;D
Delmonico decides that doin' a battle of wits with a sheepherder is more unfair than to shoot one in the back, so he heads to his workshop again. Along the way he thinks," Hmmm, line them up in a line, shoot the last one in the back, how many will it go through? Might be an interestin' 'spearmint to save ammo." ::) :D
Del, why would you want another lobotomy?
Like every time they fix sumthin' on me, it growed back. ::) ;D
<Author's Note: Don't post to fast, the sheepherder is tryin' to read it and we'll get so far ahead of him he'll post it in the wrong thread and blame the webmaster.> ::)
Delmonico wakes up in his workshop with a bump on his head and some strange lookin' horseless carriages piled out side. ::) A dead crawdad is layin' on the dashboard of one of them, a shiny bright hunk of metal proclaims "Vega", meaning a small bright star. Delmonico is confussed. ;D
Tom does good work and MAN is he fast! ;D
Delmonico decides not to try to figger out what happened, but instead he goes back to work on his project, he now has more raw material to work with. ;D
"He sure does, Red-haired Stranger." ;D
"Where did that voice come from?"
"The disembodied voice?"
"Dismboweled...what the heck?"
This one? :P(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/guts2.jpg)
EEEEEK
Camille runs back to the longbranch to get her shotgun.
"I was always told not to leave home without it"
<Author's Note: When Annie Lee found out I had been given those pictures she wanted me to post one. I didn't have a good computor or a scanner so I couldn't. She's up there rollin' on the floor laughin' right now. ;)>
<<At least there's no poop in there! :o :o>>
Quote from: Delmonico on June 30, 2006, 10:30:52 AM
If I ever have my head worked on I'll have the Doc make me coppies ta show ya I do have them. We all know now I have guts. ;D
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/Other%20Stuff/2.jpg)
Who's head is that and who busted it?
<Arthur's note: I would assume that is Trinity's head. Forty Rod probably busted it. ;D >
<<Yeah. When we were kids, he came running at me with a large knife. I tried to duck out of the way. Funny thing... One would think that he would have been punished, but instead, he received a raise in his allowance!>>
Slim goes to the barn to gather milch and eggs.
Delmonico returns from his trip to Johnson County Newbrassky. "He Trinity, we gots to go down by Bobstown next year fer the Summer Solstice, they got a platform in an oak tree in the sacred grove that the head Druid can dance on necked." ;D ::)
"Yes, Virginia, there are trees in Newbrassssssssssssky." ;D ;D ;D ;D
That was a brome pasture till 1982, when our family fell victum to the J. Sterling Morton Syndrome. ::) We are doing some small Tall Grass Praire projects in the open areas. :)
Here is a couple acres of unplowed that Grandpa used for hay, when it was over pastured by the renter in later years the brome came in. The brome has almost been removed by spraying Roundup when the brome greens up in early spring. The proper grasses are still dormant then and the rRoundup biodegrades in about 5 days. Restoring the wildflowers is the next step.
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on July 05, 2006, 10:28:21 AM
"Yes, Virginia, there are trees in Newbrassssssssssssky." ;D ;D ;D ;D
Bet they wuz brung in frum somewheres else! ;D
<Author's Note: Accually the 20,000 trees and shrubs planted on that 53 acreas were all grown at the State Nursery, at the north end of TheNebraska National Forerest at Halsey. This is the largest man planted forest in the world and goes from the Dismal to the Middle Loup and can be seen on most maps. One will note this forest planted in the 1930's is right across the Dismal from The Ranch With No Name.> ;D
Ozark hears all this and thinks I'm gonna walk down to the Dismal and where they gonna plant that forrest.
Trinity wakes up on the porch in his hammock with three empty jugs and Sherlene from Mrs. Collingwood's. The monkey is laying on his back on the steps passed out with an empty jug next to him. In the yard Frankenbird lies beak down in the dirt and Sheep is sprawled out nearby like a rug... empty jugs litter the yard. Looks like another successful fourth of July celebration.
Ozark walks around the yard and flips everybody right side up to see that all are still breathing, having been down to the river, he has brought some willow bark back for some tea for the headaches.
Trinity struggles to get out of the hammock and looks sternly at OT. "Jes' what do you mean with headaches. Mah stuff don' give no headaches. >:(
"Uh, OT, whal Ah'm in tha wedgywood room, would you please tell Sherlene that Ah done lef'?"
mis Sherlene was a starting for town just a while a go, she was proped over on ole frankenbird, a kinda using him as a crutch. she said she'd being a seeing ya later.
Trinity grimaces at Sherlene's promise.
aw ya know mis Sherlene's sweet on ya.
Trinity blushes and runs into the kitchen.
Hearin' this and seein' Trinity blush, gives Delmonico and idea. :o
Slim arrives in the kitchen with eggs and milk. He makes breakfast of coffee, scrambled eggs, buttermilk biscuits, beef steak, bacon, fried taters, and okra. ;D
Delmonico heads out to his workshop with a project in mind. ;D
almost moving so fast the human eye can't hardly detect, Ozark is seated at the table when Slim turns around to sit down the food. ;D Trinity beat me to the table last time :o :o
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on July 07, 2006, 10:56:18 AM
almost moving so fast the human eye can't hardly detect, Ozark is seated at the table when Slim turns around to sit down the food. ;D Trinity beat me to the table last time :o :o
:D
Nobody beats Trinity to tha table, except possibly Lil Rooster n Del. ;D :D ;D
oh! but he was busy in the wedgewood room.
Irish gets a cup of coffee and looks at the food Slim has layed out on the table!
Delmonico took a pick-ee-nick basket to the Workshop. ;D
"Ya better eat fer Trinity figgers how ta git outta the Wedgewood room or there'll be none left. I locked the door." ;D
Trinity watches everyone staring at the door to the Wedgewood room.
"Whatcha all lookin' at?" asks Trinity as he wipes his mouth. Them was some good vittles, Sleeeeum. Oh, OT, Ah was already to eatin' afore you figgered out what you was smellin' was food." ;D ;D
I knowed it, I knowed it, all of us sitting at the table, thinking we was gonna eat. oh well pass me a can of that potted meat please.
"Naw. They's plenty of Okry lef'" ;D ;D
With a loud roar, the smoke from the chim-nee in Delmonico's workshop turns from black smoke to flames shooting 20 feet in the air. :o
everybody (except Trinity) dives into the Okry and any other vegatables on the table.
we'll check on Del in a minute
Sated, Trinity belches loudly and retires to the hammock on the porch which has a good view of Delmonico's workshop.
Delmonico crawls out on the roof and puts a bucket over the chim-nee. He comes into the kitchen and says, "I had a chim-nee fire, I.m gonna have to get the Dunning chim-nee sweep out and clean it." ::)
"Whatcha need a chimerny sweep fer. That fahr jes burnt up tha dangerous stuff." ;D
"That sounded like a tornado." :o
Quote from: Trinity on July 07, 2006, 07:09:05 PM
"Whatcha need a chimerny sweep fer. That fahr jes burnt up tha dangerous stuff." ;D
"Wait till tommorow, you'll see why." ::)
"Uh oh!" Trinity reaches under the hammock and produces a jug. "That don' never soun' good!"
Ozark lays back down on the porch, Trinity have you got enough jugs to get us through until Del tells us what he's up to
"Shore! They's one hahdin' behind that chair yer sittin' in."
as the sun sets in the west, a small light can still be seen in the workshop at the ranch with no name. and on the porch Trinity & Ozark wonder "why doesn't Del come to the house and cook something."
Delmonico comes to the house, but instead of headin' to the kitchen, he heeads to his room with a can of coal oil. ;D He fills up his coal oil computor and soon the bob-wire fence is a hummin.
Trinity says to Ozark "If'n ya put yer ears up to tha wahr, ya kin hear what he's orderin'! You go do that an' Ah'll make us some potted meat sammiches."
Ozark leans up and hears the bob wire a huming, turning to Trinity, he says, what ever you do don't go over there and relieve yerself on that bob wire, I seen monkey make that mistake the other night, I walked plum to the river before I found him passed out. Had to carry him back home.
Delmonico shuts the coal oil computor down, with out a word he goes to the barn and saddles Reuben his saddle mule and rides off to the north. ??? ::) He does leave a note on the ice box door. "Expert Chim-knee sweep from Dunning is to arrive to clean the shop chim-knee and the house ones." ;D Will be back sometime in the Mornin'> ::)
<<Arthurs note: That's a cute pup in Delmonico's avatar, but what is that monstrosity holdin' it??!??!?? ;D ;D>>
Trinity walks into the kitchen and finds a piece of paper with funny scribbling on it. Unable to make out what it is, he uses it to start to stove fire (again). Thinking out loud, he says: "You know? After Dail's fahr las' naght, Ah might clean tha chimernies to day... Right after breakfast and mah mornin' toddy."
Before Trinity can get started the real chim-knee sweep comes, soot faced, soon he's done with the shop and moves to the house and is joined by some weird lady with an um-brella and a couple of kids. ;D
Chimm, chimm, a chimm chim a chim chim achim chim a knee
The life of a sweep is happy as can be.
They stop cleaning and are dancin' and singin' on the roof. ;D
Trinity, I didn't see em getting at the jug, but them people dancing up on the roof gotta be saused.
Trinity brings out litl rooster's "Henry Repeating Arms Co. Little Golden Lad .22 rim fire rifle " and pops the singing man in the rear.
I reckon that'll teach him to be getting into others folks squeezings
"Ah might have ta pop tha other ones too, cause he shore looks mad. :o Oh, he's a-comin' down. Hair, hol' this." Trinity hands the rifle to Ozark Tracker and runs into the kitchen.
Delmonico watches fron the hill to the north as he rides in. He says to himself, "Looks like all a them been takin' more than a spoonful of sugar with their medicine." ;D
Ozark takes off toward the barn with the stranger in hot pursuit. just as they round the corner of the barn, monkey sticks out a shovel handle thru a crack in the barn and trips the fellar, Ozark continues to run all the way to the Dismal and decides to go snake hunting since he still has the gun Trinity handed him.
Trinity calls out from behind the kitchen curtains: "Better take tha shovel. Don' wanna git them snakes angry atcha!"
With the strange chimney sweeps gone, Trinity leaves his hiding place and decides it's time to head to the stills. He and Ozark had done a number on the ranch supply and it was time to replenish it. Besides, he had a special batch of peach squeezings that was just about ready for the second distillation.
Ozark comes walking in from his ???? runaway. while he was down by the river, he got 4 bull frogs, and 2 big carps that were in a drying up water hole. he cleans the game and puts it in the ice box. then starts looking around to see what has went on since he left. not seeing Del or Trinity, he goes out on the porch and lays down in the hammock and drifts off to sleep.
"Git up! Git up, thar's a fahr!!!" Shouts Trinity at the sleeping Ozark Tracker.
Ozark wakes up, moving a little too fast the hammock spins over, dumping Ozark flat on the porch, he crawls on off the porch and out in the yard before rolling over on his back to see where the fire is.
Trinity chuckles as he lays down in the hammock.
"This hair's mah hammock. Tha FFG give it ta me. :'( Sorry ta do that to ya. If'n it'll make thangs better, Ah got's some peach squeezin's hair."
If'n either of them would a looked, they'd a seen a steady blue flame comin' out of the chim-knee in Delmonicos workshop. ;D
The flame turns from blue ro green and then dies out, Delmonico comes out and locks the workshop. ;D He heads to the house and gets his fishin' pole and heads for the Dismal. ::)
Trinity trots after Delmonico: "Whatcha doin in yer workshop, huh huh huh, whatcha doin"?"
Trinity and Delmonico arrive at the Dismal and Trinity pours some of his recipe into the river. "Ah know a better way to git some fish than with a pole"
Two minutes pass when all fish within six feet of where they are standing rise to the surface and float.
Delmonico gather up the trout and takes them back, guts them and broils them in the oven. He puts the pan out on the table and says, "Here's lookin' at ya." ;D
Trinity quickly snatches up four fish and sits down to eat them. "MMMMMM! Usin' mah fishin' techneeeque, they's already marinated!" ;D ;D
them fish was pretty good eatin, I wish we had some o that sparro grass to go with em.
:P :P :P :P "Naw! But some taters would be good."
boy yeah, little new taters and fresh green beans ;D
"No grean beans fer me, but is you tawkin' 'bout them lil' bitty taters that ain' no bigger than your fanger? Mah granny used ta make them with just a touch of sugar. Boy! They was goooood!!"
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on July 09, 2006, 05:42:14 PM
boy yeah, little new taters and fresh green beans ;D
As if by magic, a delviery arrives for Ozark Tracker containing:
Sparrow Grass
little New 'Taters
Green Beans
and some Corn from the first crop to get tassels.
that's the ones, they's good several ways. my neighbor down the road came by just today and said he was starting to dig new potatoes this next week, I told him to save me a hundred pounds, so we can be eating them babies a lot of different ways.
<<With my Oma no longer with us, I'd just like to have them her way. :'(>>
yeah! it's hard to beat Grannies cooking, I remember sometimes some of the things my grandma cooked and it just seems like it was better then.
<Authors Note: When someone tells me that what I made tastes like Grandma's I know I've done good, twice this year so far. ;D>
Slim rides in from the northeast with a fresh supply of Wiscooooooooooooonsin cheese, butter, and sausages. ;D
<Arthur's Note: If they tell ya its tastes like Grandma's cooking ya done good Del, if they tell ya it tastes like Grandma ya doan wanna ask no more questions! :o>
Irish goes out to help Slim carry in tha vittles!
"Thankee, Tom. I brought a variety of cheese and sausage."
Trinity goes to help too. He grabs at the sausages first and then a wheel of cheese. Instead of taking them into the kitchen he takes his plunder to the hammock on the porch.
a voice Trinity doesn't recognize says,
Trinity, please share with us, we're hungary too.
Trinity quickly adopts all the kittens. It will take some time to name them since he already has a The Cat, so Trinity goes into the kitchen and grabs more sausage links.
With the shop locked up tight, Delmonico starts to fire up his Steam Traction Engine. :o ::) :D
"Is we ever gonna know what Dail is workin' on this tahm?"
It may be one of them thngs ya don't want ta know :o
"Ah jes gotta know. You let me know if'n anybody is a-comin'. Ah'm gonna break into tha workshop!"
Ozark looks around the corner of the barn and can see the smoke from the traction engine in the distance, wal Trinity the only way he can be around here is if'n he ain't on that tractor.
Trinity tiptoes to the workshop door and starts to fiddle with the lock.
Frankenbird walks up behind Trinity, leans over his shoulder, pecks the lock hard and it pops open
"Ooooh!" Says Trinity as he sees the inside. "What do you thank it is?"
Ozark looks around the corner of the barn once more seeing no tractor, he walks to the door and looks in, then turns his head first to the right and then to left,, well I ain't quite sure.
"Wail, Ah thank it's a doofloppy whatchamajiggy ...thangy."
well yeah now that you said the name of it, I suppose it looks just like one
When the door opens, Delmonico hollors
Boooooooooooooo
And Trinity wets his pants. ;D
<Secret Tunnel>
"Awww dangit Dail! You know how Ah hate ta sleep in wet clothes!"
Delmonico drags Trinity over to the clothes line and hangs him up by his ears. ;D
Amessenger rides up and says who is Delmonico. Del tips his hat in recognition and the messenger hands him a package and says, "sign here for reciept." He looks over and sees Trinity hanging on the line, "You know most folks wash their dirty laundry before they hang it out!" At the sound of the word "wash" Trinity passes out.
Delmonico signs thee reciept and says, "it's here!" and goes into his workshop. ;D
Slim sees Trinity hangin' on the clothesline and proceeds ta throw buckets of water on him. ;D
Slim, I hope at least one of them buckets had soapy water, and that last bucket ourta have a little of that ode co lone, you know that good smelling stuff
Delmonico starts to set up something in the door yard, first a flat table, then poles and a cover and then some wooden horses. He Hooks the drive belt to his Steam Traction Engine and throws the PTO. The Care-ee-sell goes round and round. ;D
Trinity wakes up. Realizing he is clean, he passes out again.
Monkey comes down off the roof where he had been watching everything, walks out in the yard gathers up a handful of dust. walks back over to Trinity and throws iit in his face, then stands back
Trinity jolts awake. Feeling more himself, he says to the Monkey: "Thanks Monkey. Whew! Ah don' know what Ah would do without yer hailp. Them other folk jus' thank its funny, but Ah shore ...."
Trinity suddenly hears the sounds of Delmonico's carousel and jumps up and runs over to it and jumps up and down. The monkey follows.
"Oooooooh! Ah wanna ride tha green horse, Ah wanna ride tha green horse!!!"
As the carousel starts and stops, Trinity squeels with delight and the monkey is on the horse right behind him.
"Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
Seeing Trinity having so much fun, the rest of the fellars at the ranch climb on the carousel, as Del turns on the lights and music, coal oil powered I reckon.
Trinity sings along:
"Do Do DoDoDoDo Do Do Doooo Dooooo!"
Delmonico shovels some more coal in and soon the steam pressure starts to rise. Delmonico doesn't notice cause he's over makin' one a them steam powered coffees along the side. The care-eee-sell starts spinnin' so fast it takes off into the air. :o Delmonico sees it goin' over head, doen't reconize it and panics and runs an hides in the cellar, thinkin' the blue plattes is after him again. ::)
Seeing Del come running past hollerin sumthin bout Blue Plates, Irish runs and gets Slim's Mighty 10 and runs out onto the porch. He sees a large round object spinnin overhead with an eerie "Do Do DoDoDoDo Do Do Doooo Dooooo!" sound coming from it. Irish fire sboth barrels of the Mighty 10 then picks hisself offa tha ground and reloads.
The care-eee-sell sails through the air and lands in the lake by the race track, having enought wood in it to float, it settles down and spins around the lake with the wind. a boat is used all summer to get back and forth. people come from miles around to ride it and swim and boat,
the first water park is born.
Slim sits in a chair on the porch and shakes his head while sipping coffee. ;D
A disemboweled voice from the cellar says, "is it safe yet?"
Slim yells toward the cellar, "As far as I can see." Which is not very far 'cuz the the porch roof. ;D
Delmonico comes out of the cellar, "That was a close one."
He sees what has really happened, shrugs his shoulders, backs the fire in The Steam Traction Engine and goes into the workshop again. ;D
Trinity comes to on the river bank with several pieces of buckshot in his backside and a scratch on his forhead. He has no idea what just happened, or where he is.
"Tom, I think ya got one. It landed by the Dismal." ;D
Slim, ya reckon we should saddle up an go check it out? Mebbe they won't bother Del no more if we show em they aint wanted!
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on July 12, 2006, 02:34:34 PM
Slim, ya reckon we should saddle up an go check it out? Mebbe they won't bother Del no more if we show em they aint wanted!
;D
<Authors Note: Good thing the sheepherder wrote was was under that, he might forget.> ;D
Trinity gets up, staggers around in a circle three times and finally realizes where he is. He looks out on the river and sees the carousel coming toward him. With a gleeful look, he waits until it floats to the bank where he boards. He is just about to mount the green horse again when he realizes that he has been shot.
While the wounds are minor, Trinity behaves as if he is on his deathbed. When the carousel reaches the ranch side of the river, Trinity crawls, gasping for air to the porch steps in the hopes that someone will come care for him.
Delmonico comes out odf the workshop, his 10X Stetson Boss of the Plains hat is now completly covered in tin foil and the foil comes to a peak above the crown. ::)
Delmonico steps over Trinity on his way to the kitchen to cook supper. ;D
Trinity hoarsely gasps: "But, But...."
Delmonico takes out a big plate of fried summer squash, "here, best thing in the world for healin' buckshot wounds> Eat it all up." ;D
monkey grabs a hand ful of the summer squash and rubs it over the buckshot holes, filling them and stopping the bleeding, unaware that Del had aready salted them for Trinity.
"OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Trinity jumps up and runs around the yard like a headless chicken. Then he sees the squash and vomits.
"Since yer runnin' round like that, the wounds mut not be fatal or even dangerous." Delmonico grabs a pair of zircon encrusted tweezers (a gift from a Montana Rancher friend.) and pulls our three buckshot. He sees the S brand of Slim on them, "Hey, this is some of Slim's Monogramed Buckshot, Slim has done shot you." ;D ::)
"It was Sleeeum what done it? What fer did he shoot me?" :( Trinity asks broken heartedly.
maybe it were an accidental woundin,
authors note: (or maybe cause ya didn't help him with that burned out HO in the other thread)
Delmonico puts the buckshot in his safe, "More'n likely he was tryin' ta get ya, maybe you should ride to Dunning and get the sherriff. I'll keep the evedence safe." ;D
"Ah don' really wanna, but if'n he was trahin' ta hurt me he might do it agin." :(
"Go ahead and saddle Reuben, he'll get you there to get the sherriff. That slim is an evil one, he just trys to hide it." ;D ;D
Reluctantly Trinity saddles Reuben. Not thinking, he mounts the mule and immediately is in pain from his wounds. Reuben, unsure of Trinity and his squirming movements begins to buck as if he were under attack. All over the yard the mule jumps and runs all the while loudly Hee-Hawing. Trinity didn't make the eight seconds. He almost made eight seconds flight time, though, before landing face first in Delmonico's ash pit.
Delmonico makes a Travois and ties Trinity face down on it. ;D He points to dunning and slap Reuben on his half-ass. (Mules is only half ass) ;D
Delmonico wonders if he got Trinity's face high enough to not rub in the cacti and if he got him far enough down from the hole under Reuben's tail. ;D
I wouldn't worry none about the hole, he's turned face down, it'll just hit him in the back of the head and keep his neck from getting sunburned.
From off in the distance a howl can be heard. No not wolves, but the sound of a man in agony... as if his face had been dragged through cacti.
I notice you use the singular (cacti) I take it you ain't hit a big bunch yet
Reben is smart enough to stay out of the cacti-us. ::)
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on July 12, 2006, 05:29:52 AM
Seeing Del come running past hollerin sumthin bout Blue Plates, Irish runs and gets Slim's Mighty 10 and runs out onto the porch. He sees a large round object spinnin overhead with an eerie "Do Do DoDoDoDo Do Do Doooo Dooooo!" sound coming from it. Irish fire sboth barrels of the Mighty 10 then picks hisself offa tha ground and reloads.
<Arthur's note: This is to set the record straight. 'Tweren't Slim that did the shooting. 'Twas
Irish.> :P ;D
<Arthur's note2: BTW, nice touch on the monogramed shot.>
<Author's Note: You'll be the one to have to do the 'splainin' when the Sherrif gets back, might want to save that post in case Irish Tom decides to delete it to save his butt. ;D The monogramed buckshot was to put the blame fully in yer lap. "Sides that it was yer shotgun, ain't you responsible fer keepin' it out of someone else's hands that would do bad with it. ::)?
Doan werry Slim, I'll splain to tha Sheriff that Del come runnin in screamin tha Blue Plates wuz gonna git im. If ya doan think that'll werk we'll jest tell im we wuz quail huntin an Trinity got in tha line a fire tryin ta eat tha birds afore we'd kilt em! ;D
<Arthur's note: The above post is intended to record Irish's actions so if he changes his post it is recorded. ;D If someone decides to do something "bad" with a firearm it is the responsbility of the person who did the act not the owner of said firearm. 'Sides this is the 1880's and the judical system weren't as messed up as it is now. ::) >
"Sounds good ta me, Irish Tom." ;D ;D ;D
Trinity and Reuben arive at the sheriffs office. Reuben may indeed stay away from cacti's harm, but he also knows how to drag a travois over cactus and razor sharp sharp rocks and steaming brown pies and snakes. Trinity lies in the travois and moans.
<Author's Note: There are no rocks to deal with in the Sandhills, sharp or not. The others yes. ;D>
<<It was some of that Wissyconsoin granite. Just roll with it. ;D>>
After a jug of life reviving recipe and five feet of gauze, Trinity lays in his hammock humming (and sometimes moaning) to himself.
<The last gaul-lacier, from Wiss-con-sion did not go that far west, the remains of the Jurrasic beaches has covered all the earlier sedimentry rocks and can only be found deep in the canyons of the stream.> :P
Delmonico grabs some empty 10 gauge shells and heads to his workshop, soon blue and green flames are comin' out of his chim-knee. ;D
<<Arthurs note: Please note the message again (with emphasis added), Del. Next time I refer to anything natural, I will make sure to first have a complete geological study made. Then I will analize the data and formulate a more appropriate response. Please understand that my responses may come a few months after the joke has already played out. These things take time, you know. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D>>
Quote from: Trinity on July 14, 2006, 08:07:16 PM
<<It was some of that Wissyconsoin granite. Just roll with it. ;D>>
After a jug of life reviving recipe and five feet of gauze, Trinity lays in his hammock humming (and sometimes moaning) to himself.
<Author's Note: We have to have some truth in this thread.> ;D
Delmonico takes the now loaded shells and replaces Slim's monogramed loads with "Boomarang Double aught Buckshot." B double aught BS for short. ::)
;D "A body maght wanna stan' in fronta Sleeeum when he fahrs them shails!"
Quote from: Delmonico on July 15, 2006, 02:33:17 PM
<Author's Note: We have to have some truth in this thread.> ;D
<<Geological survey ordered for a 100 mile circle around the location of the Ranch With No Name. The lead time is estimated at five months. Knowing how the government operates, the author does not expect it any sooner than a year at which time a second study will be ordered to account for any changes since and mistakes in the previous study. ;D ;D ;D ;D>>
Quote from: Delmonico on July 15, 2006, 02:36:23 PM
Delmonico takes the now loaded shells and replaces Slim's monogramed loads with "Boomarang Double aught Buckshot." B double aught BS for short. ::)
;D :D ;D
:o
::)
;D
:o Lookout Slim, Dell's up to some Dastarly Deed, gunna give us nerdowells a good Name. ;D
8)
Trinity loads his shotgun with a couple of the shells Delmonico made for Slim and fires away from the house and drops to the ground. With the sound of shattering glass Trinity looks up and sees that as promised, the shot returned and broke the window of Delmonico's kitchen. Slowly he rose and peered into the kitchen and then ran off.
As Trinity runs to the south, Delmonico fires a load of B double aught BS to the north, is circles around and hits Trinty in the seat of his pants, raisin' a cloud of dust. ;D
Lucky for Trinity distance and filth were in his favor. He was knocked down but the seat of his pants were so stiff that the shot was not even able to penetrate.
How ever the thorns from the patch of cati-us he fell in penny-trated many times. ;D
Trinity's old wounds have reopened and he'll have to go back to the ranch for another five feet of gauze. Trinity sits down to think about whether it is safe or not.
Quote from: Trinity on July 16, 2006, 04:13:11 PM
Trinity's old wounds have reopened and he'll have to go back to the ranch for another five feet of gauze. Trinity sits down to think about whether it is safe or not.
Right in a patch of sand burrs guarded by a bumble bee nest. :o
Luckily his tough seat guards him from the sand burrs, but the bumble bees begin to sting him all over.
Just then Chance rides in whose had some docterin' experience - casteratin' yung bulls - and gives Trinity an examination.
"Tain't good, pard. Them bees done stung you in all the wrong places. Guess the ladies down at the saloon ain't gonna be bothered by you fer a while."
With that bad news Trinity stalks off wondering who he can kick to make him feel better.
Trinity, carefully sticks his hands in his pocket as he walks off and discovers a couple big river rocks in the pockets, that had got there when the mule was a draggin him. he pulls them out and is able to stand up straight again.
Next mornin' them bee stings is really beginning to do their work. The swellin's increased and Trinity can't get his pants on. He refuses Chance's offer of some free docterin' and muses over what to do next. He badly needs a drink but can't go to the saloon without pants. What can he do?
Trinity goes to Still site number four where he makes his special "medicine" and begins "therapy".
However it's been so long that Trinity never checked the still first, Delmonico has added castor oil to it again. :
<When to going gets tuff, the tuff get going and going and going. Just like the Energizer bunny, Trinity keeps going and going and going.> :P
Pretty soon Trinity has bought up all of the newspapers in town.
This impresses Sherlene because until now she thought he couldn't read. Trinity argues with her, telling her that he does not want to discuss the latest trends in Europe until he gets that old sinking feeling again.
"Naw, ah don' care what them folk in... Uh.... gottagoseeyasherelene!"
With that Trinity dashes off, back in the direction of Still site number four. To Sherelene and the rest of the citizenry on the street, it sounds as if Trinity is stepping on ducks.
Hearing ducks Slim grabs his shotgun annd fires at the noise hittin' himself in the arse with the Boomarang double aught Buckshot. ;D
Trinity has now filled the outhouse hole at Still site number 4 and goes to the river which he finds to be better. The current of the Dismal brisk enough that Trinity needs only to stand still and the effects of the castor oil are whisked away in the direction of the ranch. ;D
a rusty cloud rises in the distance toward still #4, birds and animals flee in anticipation of danger. the sun turns a dull red but no explosion comes.
It seems a very large gas bubble rose to the top of the privy pit and upon reaching the surface it exploded, releasing the rust colored cloud of gas.
The rust colored cloud began drifting towards the South end of town, where the blacksmith is stoking up his forge.
Ouch!!!!!
Slim turns 'round to look fer the varmint that shot 'im in the backside, but thar'z nobody thar. He scratches his haid and walks ta the Doc's in Dunning for a buckshotecktomy. ::)
By leaning forward in the river against the flow, Trinity is able to swallow water while eliminating the castor oil. This technique saves Trinity from becoming dehydrated. Finally his internal system calms down and Trinity is able to leave the River. His first stop is Still site number four and gathers all of the tainted jugs and piles them in his buckboard. Then he prepares the still again for another batch. Of course he is not going to use it for a while, but he must keep up appearances for Delmonico.
After two hours have passed, Trinity takes his buckboard into town where he leaves it in the middle of the street with a sign (written with the help of a passer by) that says: "Delmonico's recipe! On the honor system." He leaves an empty ball jar for those who wish to pay. Three hours later all jugs are gone and Trinity has earned himself 50 cents, and a broken pocket knife. The ball jar is gone. ;D
Ozark sits down in the town square with a wagon load of old sears & roebuck catalogs and hangs a little sign on the side:
Sears Catalogs fer Sale, by the page 5 cents
in an hour, he has a 10 gallon milk pail full of nickles. and heads for miz Collinswood's place.
"Dail's gonna be mad when he kain' fahnd his caterlog, OT. Say, ya wanna buy a pocket knife?"
wal he's been a running around sa much, I hired us of couple of ms collinswoods girls to come out and take car of us, I found a couple that can cook too.
I did leave him a copy fer this year
"Which one kin cook? She must be new! Wail... less go an' trah her, uh... tha food out!"
Trinity and Ozark sit down to a meal prepared by Loribelle of fried chicken, chicken-fried chicken, chicken fingers, chicken wings, mashed potatoes, gravy, corn, fried corn, fried potatoes, gravy, fried potato pancakes, fried corn pancakes, creamed corn, gravy, corn pudding, baked potatoes, corn patties, corn cobbler, gravy, tater tots, eggs, gravy, bacon and on the side: biscuits and gravy.
after eating about an hour & half, Trinity and Ozark push back from the table, move onto the porch and prop their feet up, Loribelle and Flossy come outside and talk about what they can cook for breakfast as they give Trinity and Ozark a massage.
Now this is the life Trinity,
Delmonico comes in from the workshop, sees feathers all over the yard, sees Ozark and Trinity eatin' chicken and says, "Slim is gonna be upset when he goes to gather eggs in the mornin." ::)
Ozark, wakes up from his nap, Trinity, have ya seen or heard any of Slim's chickens lately, where da ya reckon them girls got the chicken we was eating ???
I ain't seen Frankenbird either,
but I don't remember eating anythng that looked like him. and I'm sure we'd remember that.
"Naw, Ah ain' heered Sleeum's chicken's neither, but ol' frankenbird is over in tha corner yonder. He done drunked hisself ta sleep.
Flossie, Loribelle? Kin we have sausage tomorry also? Ah like patties AN' links. Don' fergit tha sausage gravy!"
Suddenly, Trinity body shuts down to begin the digestion process. He begins to snore very loudly.
Delmonico goes back to his workshop. ::)
Loribelle and Flossie wonder where they will get the skins for the chicken sausage. Then Loribelle remembers that Goldberg's Emporium just received a shipment of them fancy silk stockings from back East.
Sausages might be a bit thick, but that should suit Trinity just fine.
Arthurs Note< Nylons will not be available until approximately 1938>
OK, Arthur, I forgot the time machine wasn't working. Post amended. ;)
Quote from: Chance on July 19, 2006, 11:11:30 AM
OK, Arthur, I forgot the time machine wasn't working. Post amended. ;)
It might be, it was in Del's shop last we saw it!
Delmonico fixes the time machine and tests it by sendin' Tom back to the Ice Age wearin' his summer clothes. ;D
Delmonico realizes his mistake and puts some winter clothes to send to Tom in 12,000 BC, then just afore he sends it, he goes in and gets the 8 gauge Rigby Ellerfunk gun he had shipped to him when he found the Mammouth tusk last year. ;D "Tom can most likey use this back there in the Ice Age, Newbrassky used to be thick with Ellerfunks." ;D
Tom gets the delivery and goes on a huntin expydition with the elerfunk gun. He loads several Mammoths into the time machine an sends em back to tha Ranch so Del can cut em up an smoke em before winter.
Ozark, who is just walking by Del's shop out to the barn, hears an little pop'n and cracking and about that time an elerfunk explodes out the door of the workshop.
Hey Del, Ozark yells, yer elerfunk done got loose and goes on out to the barn.
"That durn Tom only stunned it." :o Delmonico brings him back to finishe the job. ;D
By the time the Time machine retrieves Tom, the ellerfunk has met Trinity an Trinity has adopted it as one of his pets. With a crackle and a pop Tom's steps out of the past into the yard at the Ranch With No Name prepared to finish off the ramapaging ellerfunk. Trinity says now Elmer, his name for the ellerfunk, sit! Unfortunately Elmer sits on one of Slims chickens.
Delmonico looks and says, "I didn't know on of them survived supper last night." ;D
Flossie spies the elerfunk and whispers to Loribelle "How many sausages you reckon we could get from that?"
Slim walks back ta the ranch after his visit with the Doc. He sees feathers all over the yard. He goes in and retrieve the "Mighty Ten". "Alright ya varmint! Who'z been killin' my layin' hens?!?!?!?" >:( >:( >:( >:(
Delmonico says, "I know but I can't tell, I ain't no Stool Pigeon. Ya might ask Trinity and Ozark though, they might know." ;D
"Ah don' know. They was already daid when Ah et them.
"Commere Elmer Ah wan' ya ta meat Sleeum. Sleeum, this hair is Elmer. He's gonna provide us with some tastey sausages purty soon. Aintcha Elmer? " Elmer looks at Slim then Trinity and nods his head slowly. Whispering, Trinity adds "Them sausages this mornin' was a mite chewy!"
Delmonico gets a large shovel and hands it to Trinity, "you claim him, you keep the dooryard clean." ;D
Trinity hands the shovel back. "Ain' gonna be enough tahm. C'mon Elmer, foller me." ;D
Ozark comes walking into the yard carring a letter, Trinity we has done got invited to a dinner, down to the local lodge, Order of the Armadillos, said they was a needing new members so they was a gonna have a big feed, I told em we'd be there and bring our eating teeth with us.
"They gonna serve up Lone Star Beer?"
yea they gonna have them long necks, and they gonna sing they theme song,
they may even have ole Jerry Jeff there to help sing.
I wanna go home with the armadillo.
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene.
The friendliest people and the prettiest women
you've ever seen.
Well, when you're down on your luck,
and you ain't got a buck,
in London you're a goner.
Even London Bridge has fallen down,
and moved to Arizona,
now I know why.
And I'll substantiate the rumor
that the English sense of humor
is drier than the Texas sand.
You can put up your dukes,
and you can bet your boots,
that I'm leavin' just as fast as I can.
Chorus;
I wanna go home with the armadillo.
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene.
The friendliest people and the prettiest women
you've ever seen.
Well it's cold over here, and I swear,
I wish they'd turn the heat on.
And where in the world is that English girl,
I promised I would meet on the third floor.
And of the whole damn lot, the only friend I got,
is a smoke and a cheap guitar.
My mind keeps roamin', my heart keeps longin'
to be home in a Texas bar.
Chorus
Well, I decided that, I'd get my cowboy hat
and go down to Marble Arch Station.
'Cause when a Texan fancies, he'll take his chances,
and chances will be takin, now that's for sure.
And them Limey eyes, they were eyein' a prize,
that some people call manly footwear.
And they said you're from down South,
and when you open your mouth,
you always seem to put your foot there.
<Authors Note: We used to play that at midnite on New Years Eve and sing along. Why? Beats me, but we did.> ;D
it's kinda like singing along with Bye, Bye miss American pie, it just seems like the thing to do at the time.
HEY, THERE'S A GREAT BIG OLD HAIRY MONSTER IN MY GARDEN. IT'S PULLIN' UP CARROTS WITH IT'S TAIL AND YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHERE IT'S SHOVIN' 'EM!!!
we'd better check that out, he was supposed to be with Trinity, he may a done stuck Trinity in there.
Delmonico says, "all I know is that Trinity is 'sposed to clean up after him, look at the door yard." :P
Trinity walks back from the express office with a smile on his face. "That ol' Ailmer is on his way to tha Silver Crick Sleeum Coun'y meat packin' plan'. We's gonna have us a right good amount of sausages by month's end! Mmmmmmm!
"Dail, don't you worry none 'bout tha yard. Them birds is gonna clean it up." ;D ;D
I hope ya tolt em to save one of them roast cuts, and maybe sugar cure a ham.
"Oooooh, good idear! Write that down an' Ah'll take it down to that express office an' have it tellygraphed ta Silver Crick Sleeeeum Coun'y. As it stands, Ah only sent tha critter to Sleeeum. He knows that Ah'd wan' sausage."
We could send Tom back and get another one, we could make ellefunk stew. ;D I have a recipe. ::) It's in many of my cookbooks. :o
These elephunks is a lot better'n chickens cos they's four folks can have a leg 'stead of just two!
Del gona need a second chuck wagon just to haul that ham. ::) :o
This gives Delmonico an idea, he removes the end of the barn and drives The Steam Traction Engine inside and parks it by his workshop. ;D ::) :o
As the traction engine eases into the barn and not seeing Trinity standing or laying in his normal location, Ozark, sends his dog and monkey rescue team to see if'n Trinity is trapped under the machine. returning without Trinity, Ozark and the dog & Monkey return to the porch and lay down for a short nap. figuring Trinity had went to town last night and just hadn't made it home yet.
There is a lot of clangin' and bangin' comin' from the barn. ;D The chim-knee has red flames comin' out of it. ;D
Frankenbird comes a running from the barn with one of them wild eyed looks he gets (ever since Del cut his head off and sewed it back on) a looking for Trinty he runs around the house twice, then stops by the porch and sticks his head under the steps.
"Whatcha lookin' fer, Frankenbird. Ah gotta stay under hair cause dail is makin' too much noise. Ah got me a headache!"
The flames turn purple, then blue. ;D
Ozark peeks under the porch when he hears the voice, oh I didn't see ya under ther, Del musta put some bloodhound parts in that bird when he was o operating,
I think Del's a inventin somethin
"He's been workin' in that thar workshop fer a long tahm. Ah thank he's just bluffin an' Ah ain' worried no more. ;D ;D
"Owww! Kin someone turn off tha sun? Mah eyes hurt."
Delmonico comes out and hitches up the wago, He goes over to the old dugout and loads it with coal. He looks over the supply and decides maybe he needs to start being bad early so Santa brings him plenty this year. ;D
speaking of Santa Clause, kid ya see here on this board, there was a santa clause had a birthday, did ya wish him a happy birthday Trinity,, ??? ??? I ain't a taking no chances,
Happy belated Birthday Santa. ;D
please bring Del plenty of coal fer his sock.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY SANTA!!!!! ... Ow!"
Thar! we should be in "good standing" fer this year ;D
"Whars tha cake?"
:o
let me see if I can find one of them twinke's left over from the 60's around here :-*
"It'll still be good. Do we have a candle? ... NOT one of Dail's red candles!!!"
we still got some of that dynamite fuse, that da sheep tried to blow us up with last time he was here, we'll just cut off a couple feet of that and stick it in the twinke.
"Uhhhhhh, who gits ta eat tha twankie? They ain' enough fer two people, after all."
tell ya what I'm a going to do, since I ain't sure if it's from the 50' or 60's I'll let you have it.
The noise from the Steam Traction Engine is getting louder and louder. Pretty soon the walls of the barn begin to shake. Seems like Del is doin' some very serious inventin'.
Ozark goes over to the barn and swings the doors open, just in case the animals wanta make a run fer it
As Ozark opens the doors to the old red barn, there is a hiss of steam, the mornful sound of a long blast on a whistle and the "The New and Improved Steam Traction engine" comes roarin' out of the barn in a huge cloud of smoke.
Laying on his hammock, satisfied after eating the twinkie in one bite, Trinity looks over at the new and improved steam traction engine. Better said, Trinity stares at the huge cloud of black smoke and exclaims: "Derrrrrrrrrrn!"
I bet he's a going out to the race track and try and set a new speed record, I imigine the one now is about 25 mph
"Ah don' lahk this none, but that smoke is cooool!"
<Author's Note: that is really one of the UP's 4-6-6-4 Challanger's running about 70 mph through SE Newbrassky in Feb of 2004. We followed it all morning and watched them service it at Hastings. They were having a bit of trouble getting the fuel oil to burn clean because of the cold.> ;D
<<Neat! :D>>
<I got to touch it.> ;D
<<Ooooooooooooooh!!!! ;D>>
<It was oily and sooty, covered the side of my brothers wite pick-up when it left, plus the lens on his vidio camera. :o At Fairbury we watched it go under US 136, from the viaduct. I was already oily a rore we got to Hastings.>
<<If your brother is anything like you, he was probably upset that the other side wasn't covered. ;D ;D ;D>>
<BTW, did you like my barn? ;D I made the map, but it's to big to load and when I shrink it you can't read it. ??? I think I need to call my IT guy in the mornin". I hope he'ds forgave us about the eller-funk.> ;D
<<Barn? I can't wait to see the map. ;D ;D If ya wanna email it to me I can see what I can do with it. Your IT guy might just be a little sore at what you did to him ::)>>
<E-Mule Sent. Don't drink coffee while lookin', ya know what litl rooster does. ;D>
<< ;D ;D ;D Got it and what I could see was hilarious! However, yer right that it's too small to read. :( >>
<I'll send you the fullsize when I get home, I'll send it to slim also. He'll forgive the ellerfunk when he sees it.>
As the last of the soot from Del's new steam powered device settles, Trinity realizes he's hungry. He turns to Ozark: "A'hm hongry! What is thar ta eat? Any of Sleeum's cheese an' sausages lef'?"
They having a revival over to the race track park, and I heard they was meeting all day and having lunch on the frounds. I thought we'd just walk over there and eat with em. I know Mis Collinswood a'l have all the girls over there, they'll have extra.
"What kahnda revival is Mrs. Collin'wood takin' tha ladies to?"
It's one of them travelling camp meetings, I think they do healings and savings and speaking in tounges, it's kinda like that one last year, what was his name,
oh Yeah, Brother Love's Travelling Salvation Show
Hot August night
And the leaves hanging down
And the grass on the ground smellin' sweet
Move up the road to the outside of town
And the sound of that good gospel beat
Sits a ragged tent
Where there ain't no trees
And that gospel group tellin' you and me
It's Love, Brother Love, say
Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show
Pack up the babies and grab the old ladies
And ev'ryone goes, 'cause everyone knows
Brother Love's show
Room gets suddenly still
And when you'd almost bet
You could hear yourself sweat, he walks in
Eyes black as coal
And when he lifts his face
Ev'ry ear in the place is on him
Starting soft and slow
Like a small earthquake
And when he lets go,
Half the valley shakes
It's Love, Brother Love, say
Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show
Pack up the babies and grab the old ladies
And ev'ryone goes, 'cause everyone knows
Brother Love's show
[Sermon]
Take my hand in yours,
Walk with me this day
In my heart I know, I will never stray
Halle, halle, halle, halle
Halle, halle, halle, halle
It's Love, Brother Love, say
Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show
Pack up the babies
And grab the old ladies and ev'ryone goes
I say, Love, Brother Love, say
Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show
Pack up the babies
And grab the old ladies and ev'ryone goes...
"Ah done heard Brother Love's real name is Diamond. Ever'body knows a man named Diamond kain' be trusted." ;) ;D ;D ;D ;D ;)
ya gotta watch a lot of em, one hand on the Bible and the other on "YOUR" wallet
"Looky at what Ah jus' got! The express rahder jus' dropped this thang off. Dail done mailed it to me. Iss a little fuzzy, but we kin raid it.... Wail, them what kin raid.
"Now ah unnerstan' why them folks over to Gonkjzith an' Jkebhznoni is always a-feudin'! They border is crazy!"
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on July 23, 2006, 09:54:03 PM
ya gotta watch a lot of em, one hand on the Bible and the other on "YOUR" wallet
"Yep. Luckily, we's only goin' fer tha free food an' won' have no money on us."
Quote from: Trinity on July 23, 2006, 09:56:28 PM
"Looky at what Ah jus' got! The express rahder jus' dropped this thang off. Dail done mailed it to me. Iss a little fuzzy, but we kin raid it.... Wail, them what kin raid.
How come Litl' Roosterville is so small?
well now at least we know where we are, oh, ya didn't put the little arrow on that says whar we are
YOU ARE HERE
Quote from: Trinity on July 23, 2006, 10:01:54 PM
"Yep. Luckily, we's only goin' fer tha free food an' won' have no money on us."
Praise God and pass the Kim Chi ;D
"Hallerlu-ya an' is anybody gonnna eat them cone-dawgs?"
Quote from: Sod Buster on July 23, 2006, 10:05:45 PM
How come Litl' Roosterville is so small?
<<That's because terrible natural destruction of all sorts have whittled away at it in the last weeks. A moment of silence please... :'(
What I'm curious about is:
A) how can you grow so much in your Township with the Ralph only touching your NE corner?
B) What happens to the Ralph near the Dismal. Does it go underground?
Cain't see no elephunk farm either. Where'd they come from?
Trin' are you gonna eat ALL them sausages?
Quote from: Trinity on July 23, 2006, 09:56:28 PM
""Now ah unnerstan' why them folks over to Gonkjzith an' Jkebhznoni is always a-feudin'! They border is crazy!"
Trin' your border is a mite irregular. Was you drunk when you mapped out your claim?
If'n y'all had a bigger map you would see Chance County WAAAAAAAAAAYYYY over to the East.
(I'd a added that if I'd a thought of it. ;D But one the other hand they done kick my ancestors out of there almost 400 years ago.) ;D ;)
Slim rides into the yard with a pack mule in tow.
Good thing ya brung tha pack mule Slim, Trinity iz gettin powerful hongry agin. He's so peekid he's thinkin a goin to tha revival jest ta git some vittles!
Tom and Slim unpack the mule and fill the icebox with Wiscoooooonsin cheese and sausage.
Quote from: Delmonico on July 24, 2006, 10:24:36 AM
(I'd a added that if I'd a thought of it. ;D But one the other hand they done kick my ancestors out of there almost 400 years ago.) ;D ;)
Del we don't hold no hard feelin's. Y'all can come back anytime you like. Jus' don't bring no handguns 'cos this here govvyment don't trust law 'biding citizens to have 'em. Criminals can keep theirs tho'! ;)
<Chance, I figgered that, the ones I worry about are the part of the family that went to Canada after the war. We ain't heard hide nor hair of them since.) ::)
Ozark comes back into the kitchen and slices his second helping of cheese and slices an apple to go along with it. and a second helping of sasuage. with his belly full he looks out the door and wonders,, whar's Trinity, this foods been here fer hours, wonder if he went to the preaching and eating?
Quote from: Chance on July 24, 2006, 03:32:42 AM
Trin' are you gonna eat ALL them sausages?
"Done et 'em. Now Ahm hongry again!"
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on July 24, 2006, 01:30:54 PM
Good thing ya brung tha pack mule Slim, Trinity iz gettin powerful hongry agin. He's so peekid he's thinkin a goin to tha revival jest ta git some vittles!
"OL' Ozark an' me wen' yestidy, but they run us off when we thought them snakes was part of tha buffet. :-[ We's gonna trah again tonight, but this tahm he's ta git their attention whilst Ah take tha snakes."
I reckon that auta hold us till we get down to the meeting grounds, they said all lthe ladies was branging baked goods tonight, I hope some of'm brings some cakes and pies.
"What ails do ya bake?"
If we take anything, it's gonna havta come outa Del's kitchen and I'm pretty sure we done et everything.
"Sides DEE-serts, Ah kain' thank of nothin' ails that gits baked. Ever'thang ails gits frahd!"
you right about that, I guess we can just go and if'n they ask, we'll tell them the other folks done et it.
Hey Trinity ya fergot Fried Ice Cream an Batter Dipped Deep Fried Twinkies! :o
I think them's Trinity's fav o rite finger foods
"Yep! An' don' fergit bout deep frahd Snickers! Ooooh, mah belly is startin' ta make noise! That means iss tahm ta eat!! Ah wan' me some more of them sausages!"
Ozark comes walking into the kitchen and asks if anybody has seen Trinity,
last night when we went over to the camp meeting, Trinity had him a pocket full of them sasuage's he was eating one when the preacher came by, that preacher laid his hands on Trinity's head and started speaking in tounges and Trinity thought he was trying to get his sasuage and bit the preacher on the arm and run out through the back of the tent,
Ole brother love passed smooth out.
airn't seen Trinity since, thought he mighta made it home by now.
"Tain't seen hide nor hair of 'em."
Trinity comes running in breathless and sweaty. "Anybody see if Ah were follered? Ol' Brother Love has a right mean bouncer! That shore was close. Ah thank Ah lost him somewhere's 'roun' Forty's Customer Service Deparment."
Ok, Trinity, I took care of it. ;D
"Took care of what?" asked Trinity with a mouthful of turkey corndog.
Oh, never mind. ;D ;D
Slim fries up a few pounds of cheddarwurst.
Delmonico looks at it and then fries himself up some Newbrassky made Farmland sausage. ;D
"mmmmmmmmmmmmm! Cheddarwurst! Ah could eat one now, but gotta run down to tha travellin' salvation show. Tonight's tha last night!"
"Trinity, yer always salivatin'. Why do you need to go to a show?" ::)
He's a going down there to see the preachers daughter, Maggie. I found out why that preacher was a laying his hands on Trinity, because Trinity had a been laying his hands on the preachers daughter.
Now he's a going down there and try to see her tonight at the ice cream social after the services.
Quote from: Delmonico on July 26, 2006, 06:02:11 PM
"Trinity, yer always salivatin'. Why do you need to go to a show?" ::)
"Two words
Free Food ... Oh! an two more:
in abundance"
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on July 26, 2006, 06:11:28 PM
He's a going down there to see the preachers daughter, Maggie. I found out why that preacher was a laying his hands on Trinity, because Trinity had a been laying his hands on the preachers daughter.
Now he's a going down there and try to see her tonight at the ice cream social after the services.
"Ssssshhhhh! Ah don' wan' nobody ta know 'bout her. 'Sides, Ah'm tailin' her that Ah'm comin' to see her, but what Ah really wan' is tha chawk'lit ahs crame."
"Ice Cream Socials are borin', I want to go to an Ice Cream Un-social." ;D
Slim gets out the ice cream maker and starts making some. ;D
uhmmmmmmm, ice cream,, I wonder where the closest fudge factory is ???
Delmonico sees the ice cream and becomes Un-social and starts throwin' it at everybody. ;D
That was fun! ;D
"Ah was jus' gonna say that if'n ya wan' that thar ahs crame social ta become unsocial, ya orta come wif us. As soon as you arrive it ortomatically bee-comes unsocial." ;D
"To late, it already has," Delmonico spreads choc-o-late, strawberry and pineapple syrup on Slim and goes to the kitchen to get a bannana and a knife. ;D
Trinity are you and Sherlene goin fishing tonight after the social, I heard them fish is still a biting.
"What fish? Ah kain' stop lookin' at her new bathin' suit! ;D ;D :o"
I noticed last time I seen it, she's liked to outgrowed it already.
Like this?
I don't know, but I don't think Sherlene's suit had quite that much material ???
Oh, this one. ;D
yeah, that ones a lot closer ;D ;D
"Them's some right cute gals, but Sherlene's done growed a bit. Quot a bit, Ah mus' say!"
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Delmonico orders 2 barrels of dill pickles and an Ice cream freezer for stock in his store. ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on July 27, 2006, 07:47:15 PM
Delmonico orders 2 barrels of dill pickles and an Ice cream freezer for stock in his store. ;D
sod Buster gets his cabbage patch ready for a possible delivery.
Cabbage patch kids? ;D
Quote from: Trinity on July 27, 2006, 08:35:50 PM
Cabbage patch kids? ;D
Is Sherlene expectin'?
You said she was growning & Del has the ice cream and pickles.
:D :D :D ;D ;D ;D
<Authors Note: He has shut his light off fer the night, we have till tommorow evening to get him in deep.>
Delmonico goes to Slim's shotgun belt and removes the Boomarang Double aught Buckshot and replaces them with regular loads. He then cleans up the buggy and hitches up the mules. "Slim, you keep an eye on Trinity with yer Mighty 10, I'm goin' to Dunning to fetch the preacher, the good one from the white church with the steeple, not that rovin' sometimes preacher the sheep herder. Don't let Trinity slip away." ;D ;D ::) ::) :o :o :o
"Since you have the fancy shotgun you get to be best man............................................................But don't let it go to yer head." ::) ;D ;)
Yee-Haw!! A shotgun weddin' !!
Sod Buster runs into town for a shave, haircut, and bath. Mebbe git some of the lavender scent to sprinkle on Trinity to make him more presentable!! ;D ;D ;D
"Maybe we should buy some yarn so she can make some baby booties." ;D
"Better grab a couple of boxes of seegars for Trinity to pass out later."
"We need to order some lumber, we'll make the newly-weds a cottage out by still #3."
"Oh there is so much to be done,"
Ozark is sitting and thinking how we came to this conclusion, ??? less material in the swim suit, :o Sherlene's done growed, :oDell ordered pickles & ice cream, ::) Slim's got a formal shotgun. ;D we're a building a cottage ;D Sod Buster's getting a shave, haircut and bath :o, seegars, booties :o :o,
<Author's Note: We got all day to weave a web so tight he can't get out of it. He needs to take rhee-sonse-a-billy-tea fer what has happened, just like Duke did.>
;D
Just in time, Delmonico gets back with the preacher, "everyone get ready and get in yer place, Trinity will most likely log in pretty soon." ;D
<Author's Note: I sent him a PM tellin' him to come here first, we're waitin' for him.> ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on July 28, 2006, 05:00:05 PM
Just in time, Delmonico gets back with the preacher, "everyone get ready and get in yer place, Trinity will most likely log in pretty soon." ;D
Sod Buster is back and has the lavender scented toilet water ready to make Trinity smell purdy! :o ::)
did anybody think to invite Sherlene ??? she might wanta be here ;D
"Yeah, she showed up last evenin' I put her up in the guest room.'" ;D
"BTW I bought them train tickets to Omaha fer their honeymoon trip." ;D
Ok, start the music, his lite came on. ;D
:o :o :o :o :o "Naw Naw Naw!!!!"
Slim get the shotgun. ;D
"Ol' Sherlene ain' wif chile! She's jus' bigger than that woman in yer swimmin' outfit pictures! D'ya wan' me ta drawr ya a picture. SHE AIN' WIF CHILE!!!!!!!!!"
"Tain't what she or the doctor says." ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on July 28, 2006, 06:06:15 PM
"Tain't what she or the doctor says." ;D
"She works down to Mrs. Collin'wood's. Tha diddy kin be anybody. Mahght even be Ozark! 'Sides, she's always trahin' ta git her paws on me. Who is tha doctor? Prolly paid him ta say that.
It weren't me!"
The yaller dog Duke comes in, sniffs Trinity, sniffs Sherleen and wags his tail. "See Trinity, the lab test confirms it." ;D
Trinity, I did hear the doc talking to Del and he did mention twins :o :o ;D
"did I ferget to tell him that?" ;D
"They maght be tweeuns what Ah was reee-ferrin' to earlier, but not babies!"
Dearly Beloved we are gathered here to join this couple in Holy Matermony, Trinity do you take this women to be your lawfully wedded wife? ::)
Quote from: Delmonico on July 28, 2006, 06:33:53 PM
Dearly Beloved we are gathered here to join this couple in Holy Matermony, Trinity do you take this women to be your lawfully wedded wife? ::)
Sod Buster sprinkles Trinity with the Lavender toilet water! ::)
it gets down in his eye and he says ooww, the preacher thought he said I do.
It also causes him to sneeze achew. ;D ::) They think he said it twice. :D
Sherleen do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband.
"I do." ;D
Then by the power invested in me by the State of Newbrassky I pronouce you man and wife. ;D
Trinity you may know kiss the bride. :D
Irish brings out tha hitched up buggy wif tha white flowers an tha sign painted on the back JUST MARRIED
He helps the stunned Trinity and hiz new bride Sherlene inta tha buggy!
Still reeling from the lavender water, Trinity finally comprehends what has happened. "Ah DON'!!!!! AH DON'!!!!!!! Take it back, Ah kain' git married, Ah's too young. Ah ain' no citerzen of Newbrasskey. Ah is still married to a woman back home. Ah's married ta five women. Ah ain' no member of tha church. Ah is a wife beater. Ah is a crook. Ah is a EEE-scaped felon. Ah kain' git married, ya see??!??!??"
No we don't. ;D
Trinity suddenly gets quiet, everyone thinks he is accepting his fate when actually Ozark decided to throw rice at the groom, unfortunately he forgot to take it out of the sack first! ;D
And they were the huge economy size sacks. Trinity lay motionless in the dirt.
whoops, my mistake, I was just hurrying so's we could get ready for the chiv a ree later.
Trinity still lies in the dirt as a mound wells up on his forehead.
Sherlene asks tha fellers ta dump Trinity in tha buggy. She says, "It doan make no difrance fer our honeymoon night Trinity doan normally move much anyway!" ;D
<<Author's note: Objection!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh... he was talking about Trinity. Never mind.>>
the buggy pulls away from the ranch, with the empty potted meat cans a clanging behind, toward still # 3 and the little cabin tha's just been finished fer Trinity and Sherlene.
Trinity wakes with a ringing in his ears and a splitting headache. He see's Sherlene guiding the buggy toward a small cottage gaudily decorated in pink and pale blue. Sherlene is staring straight ahead, smiling broadly. Trinity passes out again.
Trinity and Sherlene get out of the wagon and get into the house, where Trinty regains his composure. about that time the chiv a ree starts with Slim shooting off the mighty 10 a couple of times, everybody else banging pots and pans together, (cept fer Del, he's using cast iron pots.)
causing Trinity to jump up and bump the knot on his head.
authors note (for those who are not familiar with shivaree)
Shivaree
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search
A shivaree is a clamorous salutation made to a newlywed couple by an assembled crowd of neighbors and friends. Its original name was charivari.
In the American Midwest, along the Missouri River in Nebraska and Missouri, the term takes on the meaning of playfully kidnapping the bride, curiously similar to some Central Asian traditions.
They brought her back both times. ;D We had my cuzzin' in her dress in a wheel barrow, (we put in a nice quilt) up on the island running up the middle of the main street of Lincoln near downtown. ;D
Trinity's vision is still blurry from knocking the knot again, but he can see a cart is on it's way toward them. As it nears, Trinity realizes it is Mrs. Collingwood and she does not look happy.
Mrs Collingwood starts a yapping at Trinity as she climbs off'n the buggy and follow him up the path to the house, and goes inside to talk to both Trinity and Sherlene.
It seems now that all the girls have decided they want to get them a steady feller too maybe settle down and get hitched. Mrs Collingwood is beside herself,
<<Whoever said Trinity is steady?>>
First thing Mrs. Collingwood does is to present Trinity with a sales contract and tells him to sign it and to pay her for Sherlene. Trinity starts to object and explain to her about Delmonico. Sherlene begins to cry.
Ms. Collingwood grabs a rolling pin, that Delmonico left as a wedding present, whacks Trinity on tha knot then she goes through his pockets finding nothing but lint So she has Sherlene pay her the fee and before she leaves she puts a pen in Trinity's hand dips the end in an ink pot and holding Trinity's hand makes his mark on tha contract.
Trinity comes to and see's the contract with his mark and looks up to see a smiling Sherlene. :o Trinity passes out again.
Sherlene fetches a jug from out by still #3, pours just a dab into a glass and puts it to Trinity's lips, Trinity suddlenly comes to and remembers,
he now lives right beside his fav o rite still.
he takes a big swig out of the jug, lays back on the floor and thinks to hisself..
Life is Good.
Sherlene suddenly says, "go get the doctor Trinity, I think it's time." ;D
Trinity chokes on the drink halfway down his throat, Sherlene slaps him hard on the back 2 or 3 times and clears the brew outa his throat. he jumps up and runs fer the door but being sober for the first time in weeks, runs directly into it.
But Delmonico had a hunch any way, so he is drivin' up with the doctor in the buggy. ;D
Trinity gets up, shouts "It'ain' mahn!" and continues running. He finally stops at the saloon in Dunning. Trinity has never run fifteen feet in one stretch, so it is understandable how tired he is now. He orders a drink and takes it to a table where he downs it and falls asleep.
although his eyes are full of dust, from the run up to the saloon, Trinity swears he saw this fly over him on the road.
Trinity shouts in his sleep causing everyone in the saloon to look over at him. "T'ain' mahn, T'ain' mahn!!!!!!!!"
as Trinity sleeps his dreams fill with kids, kids and more kids,
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggghh!" Trinity is jolted awake, screams and runs out of the saloon. The other patrons stare after him making twirling signs around their ears with their fingers.
Meanwhile back at the ranch, ::) a pair of twins, boy and girl andthat look just like Trinity are drinkin' milk out of little stone jugs with nipples on them. ;D
T'ain' mahn, T'ain' mahn!!!!!!!!" Trinity is still hollorin' when he gets back to the ranch and his cottage. Sherlene starts to cry and Duke shows up, he sniffs the babies, he sniffs Trinity and looks at Trinity with those sad, sad lookin' eyes that them labs have, the kind you can't refuse, the kind you'd give your last crumb of bread to, the kind that would convince you to admit they are yours. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
"Sides that, the rest of the dogs show up, sniff the babies and sniff Trinity and look at him with those sad eyes. Delmonico says, "Well the series of lab tests show they are yours." ;D :D
"Awl raght, Ah'll touch'em, but Ah steel ain' AD-mitten to nothin'!" Trinity picks the boy up and he begins to cry. Quickly he lays the baby back down and runs from the house.
Sherlene's mother and her 3 sister's come for a week long visit to see the new babies and meet the new son-in-law. Sherlene has the house all cleaned up and Trinity all dusted off when she arrives.
Trinity shudders at all the cackling and goes outside to work on his recipe.
turns out one of Sherlene's aunt's is a real drinker, but has been sober for 25 years, so when she comes in lit, all the others look over at Trinity for an answer to their question, where did she get that liquor.
see'n as they are all followers of Carry Nations and the movement to get rid of all liquor.
His mother-in'laws name is Carry Nation and she has her hatchet. ;D
Carrie's drunken sister, Ruby Sue, and Trinity overtake Carrie and stuff her in a burlap sack. Then they put her on a small skiff and send her down the river. They return to the house by way of the still where Trinity grabs a few jugs of his new recipe for the little ones and for the rest of the visitors.
Soon, everyone is lighthearted and the babies are asleep.
Down stream Trinity's mother-in-law uses her hatchet to whack her way out of the bag. Madder than a wet cat in a dog pound, she heads back toward the cottage with her hatchet. ;D
Oh his way to visit Trinity and congratulate him, Sod Buster passes a mean old woman on the road.
(http://www.outlawwomen.com/CarrieNation.jpg)
Sod Buster immediately recognizes her and puts the whip to the horses to get to Trinity before she does. Sod Buster does not want to loose Trinity as a corn customer and occasional drinkin' buddy.
Delmonico sees her coming and hides his lithograph of Custer's Last Stand. ;D
Delmonico watches her chop down his cherry tree and he hides in the cellar with his lithograph. He thinks to himself, "wow look at the trouble Trinity has got us into, he's almost as bad as Slim." ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Carrie finds Stills 10, 7, and 5 on the way back to Trinity and Sherlene's house and makes short work of them. Stills 7 and 5 drain into the surrounding landscape and a short time later all of the woodland creaturs begin acting very strange. The contents from Still 10 drains away into the Dismal. Sod Buster arrives at Trinity and Sherlens's to find everyone in a state of stupification!
On Slim's way back to the ranch, he sees an old woman hacking up a still with a hatchet. He gives her a WIDE berth and continues to the ranch.
<----wunners sackly whut's wrong wit these big strong men. Thit ole bi... wommern is wreckin' private property..... Quickly, 'e plugs up the spout ah #13 'n stokes the fire unner it.
HEY LADY!!!! Here's one ya missed!
(maybe a hot shower'll do 'er a werld ah good 'n take sum thit starch out 'er drawers......)
;D
Unfortunatly Sh hits the spigot n drains the hotch uphill of the fire, it flows back down n Ignites blowing the Ole #13 ta bits N settining the range on fire. :o
8)
Quote from: Marshal harpoluke on July 31, 2006, 09:33:02 PM
;D
UnfortunatlySh hits the spigot n drains the hotch uphill of the fire, it flows back down n Ignites blowing the Ole #13 ta bits N settining the range on fire. :o
8)
I would have just said poop, that could make the moderator mad. ::)
Delmonico cuts a sheep in half and drags it over the fire and puts it out. The crazy lady with the hatchet dulls it on the sheepherders head. The she realizes he's as hard headesd as he is and drags him off to town to the preacher. ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on July 31, 2006, 11:20:10 PM
I would have just said poop, that could make the moderator mad. ::)
Delmonico cuts a sheep in half and drags it over the fire and puts it out. The crazy lady with the hatchet dulls it on the sheepherders head. The she realizes he's as hard headesd as he is and drags him off to town to the preacher. ;D
;D
Marshal insinsed over Dell's murderin a sheep, slams Dell in His Own Dutch Oven N whacks it with a Large iron Ladle. :o
Then smacks Dell's Dutch onve with a sledge Hammer N cracks it 's side--a crack pot for a Crack Pot Cosei. :o :P ;D
;D :D ;D
Awright, awright - y'all wait jist a minute!
'Sacly whut is this "hotch" stuff whut flows uphill? Does ya drink it from a cracked onve? Whut is an "onve" ennyways 'n why ain't y'all tolt me 'bout it 'fore now? If this stuff de-fies the laws ah gravity I want me some!
< Authors Note: Don't worry Arcey, sheepherders are like suburban cajuns, they don't tell the truth and the get upset when they have to pay fer their actions. Ya notice he starts a range fire in his post and then when someone takes wat action is needed to save the range he gets upset. ::)>
Quote from: Delmonico on August 01, 2006, 08:28:09 AM
< Authors Note: Don't worry Arcey, sheepherders are like suburban cajuns, they don't tell the truth and the get upset when they have to pay fer their actions. Ya notice he starts a range fire in his post and then when someone takes wat action is needed to save the range he gets upset. ::)>
;D
Ya didn't need ta kill no defensless sheep to stop the fire. :P
Did too, the last one got out a control and almost got Slim. :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P
A sheep or a fire? :o
Both, ;D
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
Slim starts runnin' fer the Dismal.
Slim runs so hard he trips over the scorched, split sheep carcass the Delmonico drug over the fire to put it out. Mean while back in Dunning the former Carry Nation has her new husband hog tied and draped over his saddle to take hin down to Sargent fer their Honeymoon. ;D
Slim gets up and walks ta the Dismal to wash off the soot. ::)
Quote from: Delmonico on August 01, 2006, 01:27:37 PM
Did too, the last one got out a control and almost got Slim. :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P
:o
;D
It's always, Slim's Fault!
:o
;D
Why's it Slim's fault? Yer the one whut lied 'bout 'hotch' goin' uphill 'n cracked onves er whute'er. Got me all excited fer nuttin'...
I'm gonna go get me sum hootch 'n ferget 'bout it................
Trinity cries when he sees the devastation wrought on Still numbers 7 and 10. Still number 10 is only a decoy and did not contain any real hotch, but this has no consoling effect.
When Trinity hears of Carrie and the Sheep Marshall his tears dry and he begins to smile. "One or tha other'll git mad enough ta keel. Mebbe it'll git botched up an' both'll be outta mah hayre!"
Trinity goes to his and Sherlene's cabin and lays down after the disaster's of the last few days, he decides the babies need names. he decied's to name the boy "litl trinity" with a smile on his face for coming up with the "litl", just like litl rooster spells his.
Then he sits down an ponders on a little girls name?
Uncle Delmonico names her Deniece. ;D
From out in the yard Trinity hears Sherlene's voice in a very high pitch,"Oh Trin-nit-teeeeeeeee!"
so with the names chosen, Trinity asks Delmonico to perform the naming ceremony since he has his own church, so they decide to meet down at the Dismal and have the ceremony. Deniece & litl trinity
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on August 01, 2006, 07:56:46 PM
From out in the yard Trinity hears Sherlene's voice in a very high pitch,"Oh Trin-nit-teeeeeeeee!"
Trinity shouts back: "It weren't me, tha dawg done lef' that out thar!"
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on August 01, 2006, 07:59:29 PM
so with the names chosen, Trinity asks Delmonico to perform the naming ceremony since he has his own church, so they decide to meet down at the Dismal and have the ceremony. Deniece & litl trinity
"Dail, whah didja choose tha name Dee-neese? Kin we have Brother Love do tha ceremony?"
Quote from: Trinity on August 01, 2006, 06:20:51 PM
Trinity cries when he sees the devastation wrought on Still numbers 7 and 10. Still number 10 is only a decoy and did not contain any real hotch, but this has no consoling effect.
When Trinity hears of Carrie and the Sheep Marshall his tears dry and he begins to smile. "One or tha other'll git mad enough ta keel. Mebbe it'll git botched up an' both'll be outta mah hayre!"
But have you figgured out yet that your Mother-In-Law married the Sheepherder? That makes him a relative of yours! <spit><spit>
"Nope, 'cause Ah don' ex-cep' nobody in mah fambly that don' drank. Mah great gramma made that rule!"
Quote from: Trinity on August 01, 2006, 08:25:06 PM
"Nope, 'cause Ah don' ex-cep' nobody in mah fambly that don' drank. Mah great gramma made that rule!"
Sod Buster suddenly gets the idea that Trinity never had a bachelor party prior to loosin' his freedom and is now a husband and papa. Sod Buster thinks that Trinity deserves a grand party. He heads over to Ozark Tracker's house to ask him to help organize the festivities.
<--going to OT's
"Whar'd tha stranger go?? He was just hair... Ah need ta tawk ta him 'bout cone. That there b... uh, mother of Sherlene done rernt mah steels an' Ah gotta git some more recipe a-distillizin'!"
Trinity dances his happy dance and is overjoyed by the sight of all the stills being repaired, sherlene is busy repairing the last one,
she is an expert at building and setting up the stills, Trinity finds out.
seems like the stills are producing more since Sherlene took over running them. but since sherlene is busy with the stills, This leaves Trinity to baby sit. litl trinity and Deniece
"Uh oh! Ah done knowed Ah'd fergit sumpin'! Uhhhh. Sherrrrrleeeeeen. Ah gotta go back to tha cabin fer a minute. Ah'll be raht back. ... Huh? Oh, them lil' kids is doin' jes fahn. Uh... Ah'm takin' them wif me.... an Ah'll brang 'em raght back wif me."
litl trinity is crying when Trinity gets back to the cabin, his little jug is bone dry, Trinity gets some fresh milk from the icebox, that Slim had brought over earlier. then begins rigging up a carrying sling, so's he can take both kids with him.
As Trinity prepares to leave with the kids he spies his Mum-in-Law Carrie coming up the road, just a bellerin at the top of her lungs for Sherlene!
Trinity thinks fast, well hello there mother carrie, I'm just a fixing to go down to the church and pick up Sherlene, she's down there a cooking and cleaning the church fer Sunday go ta meeting.
mother Carrie, satisfied with his answer goes to the cabin and lays down to rest.
What is left of her new husband, Slim's cat drags in. ;D
Trinity hurries on down to the still where Sherlene has just run off a barch of the reciepe and is starting another, Trinity tells her about her mother a coming to the cabin and the tale about the church, Sherlene grabs an empty bucket and goes back to the cabin with Trinity and the babies.
By the time they get there she's forgot all about the church and Trinity, she's to busy yellin' at her no good husband. ;D
when trinity looks out the back window, he sees a yard full of (spit) sheep :o :o
Mrs. Harpaluke goes more and more into a rage, seem's he never tolt her he was a sheep (spit) herder and now he's done ruint her. ;D
she gets to the point where she hates sheep worse than liquor
and finds one of Trinity's jugs, gets rip roarin' drunk and beats up her new husband. ;D
Trinity and Sherlene waits until mother passes out and carry her up to the frieght yard outside of town and put on a fast mail train to anywhere but here.
Then they shoo the poor Sheep Marshal and his sheep out of their yard.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/beat-up-doctor.jpg)
while all the excitement is going on Trinity has set litl trinity down on the grass, when he goes back to get him, he finds out for the first time
litl trinity likes cats
(Aouthors Note: I seen that happen to a Lab puppy this afternoon.) ;D
what did the pup think about that?
<Didn't mind a bit, I made her let him go and he stole one of her toys, she stole one of his and then they sat on the floor by Grandma and ate animal crackers. One bite for Lexi, one bite for Rowdy. > ;D
that's the way our Border Collie is with the grandkids, she doesn't mind whatever they do to her and she never gets upset with them unless she misses her bite of food. then she looks over at me like where's mine.
<<That cat looks like that child is about to start crying! ;D>>
Quote from: Arcey on August 01, 2006, 02:18:23 PM
Why's it Slim's fault? Yer the one whut lied 'bout 'hotch' goin' uphill 'n cracked onves er whute'er. Got me all excited fer nuttin'...
I'm gonna go get me sum hootch 'n ferget 'bout it................
;D
Arcy the Hotch was under pressure and went up hill when tha spigot broke it tas spryed uphill--then flowed back down. Neton's laws. Ain't you ever seen one of dem dar fire hoses? ???
Ah has to agree wit Ya You need a slug of Hotch. :o
;D
Quote from: Trinity on August 01, 2006, 08:25:06 PM
"Nope, 'cause Ah don' ex-cep' nobody in mah fambly that don' drank. Mah great gramma made that rule!"
;D
Who says Ah don't drink? >:( Ah is jus fussy Who Ah drinks with. :P
;D :D ;D
;D
Ah's don't drink with low down no good, sneek marring, back whackin, K-kniving, Horntoad, Crackpot, Kantancerous Cosieis. :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P
:o
>:(
The Sheep (spit) herder comes to after Carries beating and its obvious there has been Dain Bramage. He begins hollerin as he halluciminates about Cosies!
hey send him to the vet in dunning cause the doctor won't treat sheep (spit) herders. The vet says the brain damage is a birth defect and has always been there. ;D
(The rules of the Newbrassky thread say you would have had to say the hooch was under pressure in the said post where it ran up hill, to add that only shows you don't play in "The Spirit of the Game." Look and poor Trinity, he didn't explain the swim suit being to small well enough and now he's got a wife and Twins.) ;D :P
Quote from: Delmonico on August 03, 2006, 08:45:27 AM
poor Trinity, he didn't explain the swim suit being to small well enough and now he's got a wife and Twins.) ;D :P
But at least he knew we couldn't post that picture of Sherlene a strutting around in her itsy bitsy teeweeney bikini
Quote from: Delmonico on August 03, 2006, 08:45:27 AM
hey send him to the vet in dunning cause the doctor won't treat sheep (spit) herders. The vet says the brain damage is a birth defect and has always been there. ;D
(The rules of the Newbrassky thread say you would have had to say the hooch was under pressure in the said post where it ran up hill, to add that only shows you don't play in "The Spirit of the Game." Look and poor Trinity, he didn't explain the swim suit being to small well enough and now he's got a wife and Twins.) ;D :P
;D
Hey, >:(
Dell, Ah wasn't the one Who plugged the still, and layed a large fire on the Still. >:(
Who's Lying Now? >:(
;D
No good, Lying, Kantancerous, Crackpot, Cosie. :o
Where? Quotee Please. ;D <The vet has remended that the sheep (spit) herder be sent to the Newbrassky State Insane Assylum near Lincoln fer electro shock treatments. He is loaded on a cattle car after being but in a strait jacket, (very pc) and loaded in the baggage car of a train at Dunning.> ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on August 03, 2006, 11:16:17 AM
Where? Quotee Please. ;D <The vet has remended that the sheep (spit) herder be sent to the Newbrassky State Insane Assylum near Lincoln fer electro shock treatments. He is loaded on a cattle car after being but in a strait jacket, (very pc) and loaded in the baggage car of a train at Dunning.> ;D
;D
Marshall escapes, hogties Dell in straight jacket. smears Him with Blue rophart cheeze--No escape Dell. :o
Dell gets quite a charge! :o
Marshall discovers All Dell's Dutch Ovens are cracked. ;D
;D :D ;D
No Wonder.
8)
Knowin' deep in his tiny little brain that he is the only one who started a prarie fire by runnin' hooch up hill out of Trinity's still the strait jacketed Sheem (spit) herder has more Hally-loose-in-ations, the CB&Q chugs out of Dunning to Lincoln where the Baggage car will be switched to the spur track that runs to The Newbrassky State Insane Assylum where he will recieve electro shock therapy.
"Knowin' the sheep (spit) herder is tryin' ta post sumthin' to try to get out of his mess and his fib, the baggage handler on the train gags him.
Quote from: Delmonico on August 03, 2006, 11:31:18 AM
Knowin' deep in his tiny little brain that he is the only one who started a prarie fire by runnin' hooch up hill out of Trinity's still the strait jacketed Sheem (spit) herder has more Hally-loose-in-ations, the CB&Q chugs out of Dunning to Lincoln where the Baggage car will be switched to the spur track that runs to The Newbrassky State Insane Assylum where he will recieve electro shock therapy.
;D
Dells still delusional, Marshall has been recused by Da Sheep and transported the the DCR.
Dellys getttin a secound course of Electo-schocks--His skulls too thick! ;D :D ;D
More power! :o
8)
Quote from: Delmonico on August 02, 2006, 05:45:00 PM
What is left of her new husband, Slim's cat drags in. ;D
<Arthur's note: Slim's cat? ??? >
Slim walks out the back door with a sauser of milk.
here kitty kitty kitty ???
As he tries to cover his fib of others startin' a praire fire with Trinity's still no one pays any attention to the sheep (spit) herder. ;D
<Ya, I added it to our animal collection, wouldn't do to have OT monkey drag him in. "Oh look what the monkey drug in don't sound right.">
about the time Slim started calling, one of mz coookinwoods girls comes carrying Slim's cat up. Slim puts down the bowl and fetches a 5 gallon pail
:o :o :o :o
I figured we'd need a cat big enough to drag the sheepherder in ;D
<Arthur's note: That one will do. >
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on August 03, 2006, 11:55:04 AM
<Arthur's note: That one will do. >
;D
Nice kitty, Kitty; just about the right size for My Parrott.
Poor bird. Stuck in a wire box. That's sad...............
I ain't seen a blue and yaller Turkey Vulture before. ;D
turkey vulture :o :o :o Ozark runs out gathers up the 3 turkeys running around the barn yard and puts them inside.
<<Would somebody please explain what happened today!?!?! I am thoroughly confused! I need a drink!>>
<Author's Note, well I worked with the puppy, did some laundry, baked some bread, (see coffee and grub) loaded some 45 acp, worked on some 270's, tumbled my 32 mag brass, showered and came to work.> ;D
just the short version, a still broke liquor ran up hill the sheepherder thought, started a fire, he's on his way to insane asylum
Del got Slim a cat. so he'd be able to drag the sheepherder in and a turkey vulture is a circling around outside.
now how's that
I may have to go back a reread everything now :o ??? :o
Quote from: Marshal harpoluke on August 03, 2006, 01:39:17 AM
;D
Who says Ah don't drink? >:( Ah is jus fussy Who Ah drinks with. :P
;D :D ;D
"Naw. Ah meant her mother an' anybody associated wif her."
<<Can someone tell me who Neton is?>>
"I knew there was somthin' last week I forgot to tell you, now I 'member, since you were so sweet on Sherlene, I paid Mrs. Collingwood to have here be your own private wagon girl." ;D ;D ;D
"So yep, they're yours. " Delmonico shows Trinty the receipt and he passes out again and Slim's cat drags him home to Sherlene and the Twins. ;D
Trinity wakes up with a feeling of Deja Vu. He looks around and finds that Sherlene is still there and there are still two little noisy children. Over in the corner is her mother, still clutching the hatchet.
Trinity begins to cry.
Slim's cat growls at him from the corner. ;D
"least yer Step-Father-In-Law ain't there. ;D
Quote from: Arcey on August 03, 2006, 03:22:04 PM
Poor bird. Stuck in a wire box. That's sad...............
>:(
Arcey, If ya knoticed the bird is outside the cage. not restrained, He can fly I do not as some trim His wings.
He stays because He wants to. :P
;D
:o "Nice Kitty! Whah is ya growlin' at me?"
ya need to feed him and he'll get friendly, ya got a small hog ???
One of Stoney's hawgs escapes the sty and wanders toward Trinity's homestead.
A growling sound can beheard from tha underbrush, it's either Slim's cat or Trinity's stomach!
A quick look in the underbrush shows it is the eller-funk Slim was to have made into sausage. ;D
The eller-funk starts to tear up Delmonico's vegrable garden and he shoots it with a load of rock salt. It charges out of the garden and steps on the cats tail. The cat runs and scratches Trinity and the eller-funk runs out of the thread. ;D
Trinity's new dog he got fer litl trinity, gets excited and almost wakes up
Ozark drags the elel-funk hide into the barn and hangs it up on the wall and starts working to get it scraped down.
Trinity decides that life out by the still is too dangerous so after he patches up the lacerations delivered by his cat he packs up Sherlene and the twins and they all head for the ranch house. Sherlene is at first repulsed by the smell of Trinity's room, but soon she finds the cause (the remains of eight old chicken legs). She gives the room a good sanitation and disinfection with recipe and opens the window.
Ozark helps Trinity set up the still behind the barn, where Carrie had busted it up earlier. Sherlene coils the tubing and attaches it to the still and it's ready to light the fire.
Trinity finds the corn where Sod Buster has stored it in the corn crib, that will be enough to get through the winter. with a little extry fer the holidays.
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on August 06, 2006, 08:36:01 PM
Ozark helps Trinity set up the still behind the barn, where Carrie had busted it up earlier. Sherlene coils the tubing and attaches it to the still and it's ready to light the fire.
Trinity finds the corn where Sod Buster has stored it in the corn crib, that will be enough to get through the winter. with a little extry fer the holidays.
;D
Slim rides in from the Northeast.
Irish rides in from the Eastnorth.
Ozark sees em coming and throws a flare out in the yard so they can both hone in on the same destination. :D
Slim sees the flare. "Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah." ;D
The flare suddenly starts a prarie fire that races toward Slim and Tom!
off to the east-north an errie sight appears
Delmonico looks out the window and says, "I tolt them to be careful with fires." ::)
"I ain't goin' east-north and da fire is comin' from the west-south. I'z trapped in the middle."
What will happen to Slim?
Will he be burnt in the fire?
Will he be taken by the blue plates again?
Will Timmy fall in the well again?
At the exact moment the fire reaches Slim and his horse and he is about to be consumed by the fire, he, the horse and everthing he is carrying, is beamed up in a blinding white light.
Once inside the blue plate he gets to meet Art Bell. Just afore the grey creature gets out the probe. ;D
Speaking of probes, Trinity decides that he needs some extra income, so he finds the perfect job.
<Authors Note: I just sold my last one an hour ago.> ;D
<<last what?>>
<Kansas City Brothel Inspector Badge.> ::)
Thought 'e was talkin' 'bout sellin' Grays. They die quick out the plate 'n stink like hell when they do.....
<< ;D I found it this weekend in my dresser. I bought it from a police supply catalog a few years before I ever knew anything about CAS. I wore it on the inside of my coat and flashed it at folks.
I've never smelled a dying/dead grey! :o >>
<I should have done the quote thing.> ;D
<Was workin' on a quilt last night and the History Channel had a show on UFO, don't 'member what I ended up watchin'.>
Cain't say nuttin' else. Classified info from Wright/Patterson.......
<Wonder if they smell worse than that bull snake the got chopped up in the motor in our well when it crawled inside. It was a week after the well died that we worked on it. I was on top of the pit fetchin' tools fer my brother. The noises he made when he smelled it as he removed the motor almost made me gag.>
Suddenly a blue plate appears over the Ranch, there is a flash of light and a stunned Slim sits astride his horse. Del quickly notes that he is wearing one of the backwards outfits and knows exactly why the fire didn't get im. But what did? ???
Ozark looks out in the yard and there sits Slim a facing south on a northbound horse :o
Slim panics thinking that the blue plates have taken his horse's head! :o
He leans forward and checks under his "mane".
And thinks he's lookin' down the wind pipe. ;D (Well he is sort of.) :P ::)
So, in an effort to revive his faithful steed...
He gets ready to.................................................................... But he turns around and finds out he's pointed the wrong way. ;D
<Sorry even I couldn't be that mean, why if that horse broke wind at the wrong time it could pop Slim's eyes right out of the sockets.> :o
Slim thinks about what he was about to do, passes out and falls off the horse in the middle of the front yard.
His cat rushes out into the yard and drags him inside. ::) Delmonico looks at him and says, "well look what the cat drug in." ::)
;D ???
Delmonico looks at Slim as he gets up off the floor, "don't know what they did to ya Slim, but somehow you've changed."
Trinity sees the state that Slim is in and rushes in to try and give him some Recipe.
<Author's note: I really felt guilty erasin' Mrs. Slim out of that picture. ;)>
Quote from: Delmonico on August 08, 2006, 08:19:47 AM
<Author's note: I really felt guilty erasin' Mrs. Slim out of that picture. ;)>
<Arthur's note: Ya should feel guilty! I'z gonna tell her whatcha done. :P >
<Athors Note: Should I erase you and make her up? ::) >
<Slim's eyes get red with rage. (See what happens when I have to keep an eye on Lexie while whe eats her cereal.)> ;D
Trinity spies the Red-Eyed Slim and runs in fear. Unfortunately he trips over the lever to Delmonico's Time Machine. There is a sudden scream and a loud crash from behind the barn. Trinity runs behind the barn to discover Ozark out cold and Sherlene staring at the remains of the Still they was building behind the barn. The Still has been smashed to smithereens, Trinity thinks that Carrie has come back, but a noise causes him to look and in the distance he sees the retreating form of a rampaging Eller-funk. It quickly retreats to the No-person land between the threads.
Trinity looks at Sherlene and says, "We doan wanna tell Dail bout this, he might git real upset!"
<Authors Note: Maybe Slim can make brats out of this one, if the Healt Dept ever lets him reopen his factory.> ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on August 08, 2006, 11:11:40 AM
<Authors Note: Maybe Slim can make brats out of this one, if the Healt Dept ever lets him reopen his factory.> ;D
There's still plenty of Veggie-Brats over at the Sodbuster Township HOOTERS! Come and get 'em!
<We may have to, Slim ain't never gonna get the eller-funk ones done.> ;D
<Arthur's note: Never is a looooooooooong time. ;D >
Ozark comes too. he sits up and looks over at Del & Sherlene,,, did any body get the number of that prarie schooner that hit me.
Quote from: Sod Buster on August 08, 2006, 01:30:50 PM
There's still plenty of Veggie-Brats over at the Sodbuster Township HOOTERS! Come and get 'em!
<crickets chirping> <silence>
<Author's Note, I always hated the sound of crickets chipin', what they do pass a law again it? I ain't heard them for several years. ;D>
"Aw raht, aw raht! What jes happent hair? Whah ain' tha steel Pro-ducin? Whar is tha steel? Shorely you don' mean that flat thang thar is 'posed ta be mah Steel. Dadgummit! Now we need ta git another one."
Trinity loads Sherlene and the twins on the buckboard and they head out in the direction of Still site number 42, one of his newer Stills.
As they pass Slim, Trinity points and says: "Lookit poor Sleeum. DON' STARE INTO THA DEVIL AHS! Just look at him. He's slimmer than afore! Poor feller needs a real meal. Ah'll bet that stranger from tha soddy is gonna come an offer some strange meat made of vegematibles. We gotta git that new Steel on over hair fast so's you kin cook up some bacon fer him! ...and me too."
I always hear a crickets chirping sound, too many years of driving them diesel tractors, sounds just like the dead of summer.
<Mine sound more like the Emergency Broadcast System test sound except it ain't quite that loud, to many air chistles, grinders fan blowers, hammers both large and small, blow guns, paint guns and the day my brother shot the 44 Mag in the house. ;D>
<< :o >>
<He shot a mouse with it.> :o :-\
<<Did it sound something like this:
Pinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggg?>>
<Nope, just a loud boom and a hole in the floor with mouse all around it. We buldozed the house the next week so it ain't like it was a good house. I looked at him and said, "that was damn dumb," He looked at me and I saw his lips say "what?" :o ::) :-\
<<I wasn't talking about the boom... I was talking about the onset of the ringing. ;D ;D ;D ;D>>
<Oh I thought you meant a ricket-shay. ;D>
<<Nope iffen he gets one a them he gots ta get somebody ta pull it!>>
<< ;D ;D ;D
I once went shooting and forgot my ears. Well, I just decided to see how long I could hold out. Everything was fine while shooting the .38s but when I moved up to .357 I nearly dropped the gun. My friend was behind me but didn't hear it and must not have believed me because he tried it too. Same result. We both agreed that it sounded like a ball peen hammer on an anvil. We didn't move up to any other calibers that day.>>>
My brother was off to the side of me one day and got caught by the blast of my 243 which I load with very slow ball powder. He said that hurt.
Was at an event one time a run what ya brung and if it is Class 3 make sure you bring the papers. :o I had in plugs, but the shock wave off the guy next to me's rifle was tryin' to take off my hat. It had a brake meant to pull the rifle some forward and it was funnelin' right to me till I moved. Caliber 375/50BMG ;D
Also had plugs on the day some damned fool shot a 35/284, in an XP-100 under a cover >:(
any more I try to remember the plugs, figure after so many years of not using them, I better try to keep what hearing I got left.
One reason I like my 22 Hornet with the 24 inch barrel, if I don't have time for the plugs, my ears don't ring.
??WHAT DID YA SAY??
<Arthur's note: I used to own a Taurus .44 Mag with a ported barrel. I stupidly shoot a cylinder full without earplugs. I couldn't hear right 'fore a week afterwards. :o >
Now, back to the story.
Slim puts his thumb in his mouth and blows. Soon, he is back to his "normal" shape. He feels a terrible hunger and goes to gather eggs and milch. He steps on the porch and feels a terrible breeze on his backside. :o He goes to his room to change clothes. ::)
On his way to his room, duke cold noses him. ;D
Slim jumps halfway up the stairs! ;D
and falls back down. ;D
"Duke!" >:(
Duke cocks his head and gives Slim the "I do it to Trinity all the time look!" ;D
Slim reads Dukes look. "Do I smell like Trinity?" ::)
Passing by, Trinity overhears Slim's interrogative and replies. "Naw. Ya got that high-falootin' need fer clane water ever tahm ya bathe. Ya know ya kin drah up that way?"
Ozark drives the wagon in with a load of bottles, he gathered up in town behind the saloons, after washing all of them out, he goes over to the porch and talks buisnes with Trinity,
Since Trinity's still output has become 10 times what it was, with Sherlene a running the still's, Ozark tells Trinity how they could make a lot of money by bottiling the excess and putting a lable on it and selling it for a cure-all
we could make up us some lables on Del's press, it could say something like,
Dr. Trinity's Magic Elixor, Great Plains Medical Co.
"Soun's lahk a good idee, but kin we put some grane color in it? Ah don' really wanna use mah name. How about Dr. Piso?"
light or dark grane color, It'll be something like Dr. Piso's Magic Elixor, good fer the body and soul. natural healing tonic.
Tha Eller-funk pops into the thread and crashes throught tha wagon load of bottles, glass flies everywhere. The Eller-funk runs out of the thread, seconds later Slim pops in, sees the devistation and says which way did it go. Trinity just points, between sobs at the lost business opportunity.
<----walks out 'n looks down it whut's left ah Snuggles the kitty.
Gee. Thit eller-funks in trouble now.......
Trinity drops is head into the nearest puddle and begins slurping. Every now and then he shrieks in pain and stops slurping long enough to remove a glass shard from his mouth before resuming.
well that ends that idea, we couldn't gither up that many bottles from here to St. Louie. but now we got a bigger problelm, Sherlene has got them stills going full blast, we gotta have somewhere to put that stuff. she's got more mash a working right now.
Delmonico hauls a water wagon out of the barn, "ya want to borrow this, I had it for some reason but ferget why now. ;D
Just before leavin' the thread, the eller-funk pauses to look back at Slim. :o
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/eller-funk.jpg)
Delmonico says, "he sure had an evil gleam in his eye. ;D
Trinity finishes slurping the last of the recipe that hadn't fully merged with the earth. Shakily, he rises and stumbles but doesn't fall. He looks around and see's the elephant giving Slim the evil eye and not being of sound mind, decides to bum's rush the elephant.
Look at all the pistol grips on that sumbuck. An' enough pieces left over for inlays an' piano keys.
Rifle Stocks.
Trinity rushes the eller funk at full speed, just as he gets to the eller funk, the eller funk steps out of the thread, Trinity misses the out door, runs into the wall and is laid out cold.
When Trinith awakens and gets home...he discovers another relative has arrived.....
Tammy....the sister that Sherlene don't talk about that much has arrived.
(http://aburriss.tripod.com/tbakker.jpg)
Ozark looks over at the critter Tammys a holding, having had hunting dogs all his life the little fellar puzzles him.
Just as disgusted at the new arrival as Sherlene is, Trinity puts the thing on the next stage. Trinity reaches down and scoops up the little dog that came with her and tosses it through the window of the coach as it departs.
Tammy talks non stop, not even to take a breath, a telling about her new boyfrine, Brother Love, she's a thinking about going on the road with him and being a preachers wife.
Talking to Sherlene, trinity says "That sister of your'n an' brother Love ain' no good match fer no one! Ah don' fore-see nothin' good comin' outta this!"
A wagon shows up at The Ranch With No Name, Delmonico is expextin' them, it is the crew from the Steam Traction Engine Company come to do a tune up on Delmonico's Steam Traction Engine. ;D
Soon they are busy at work. ::)
as the work gets started on the steam tractor, new and updated improvements are add to the old workhorse
Like what, a JATO pack?
Quote from: Forty Rod on August 12, 2006, 06:12:03 PM
Like what, a JATO pack?
put that on there and he'd really have a big iron bird :o
When the crew is done, the Steam Traction Engine has been chopped and channeled and a rocket added to the back. ;D When it is fired up, blue flames come out of the stack and as Delmonico is off to help Slim catch the rampagin' eller-funk he has Trinity light the rocket engine. ;D
With wonderment, Trinity stares at the strange contraption.
Delmonico waits im-pay-cent=lee for Trinity to light the rocket. ;D
Trinity stands still and stares with a slack jaw.
Delmonico decides that he's waited long enough for Trinity, so he gets down and lights the rocket fuse himself. :o Before he can get back on, the rocket ingnites and The New Improved Chopped and Channled Steam Traction Engine (to be known as TNICCSTE ::)) starts movin'. ::) Delmonico runs to catch it, but it is movin' to fast. Delmonico watches as it takes of to the North-East. ::)
(Will the rocket have enough power to leave the Newbrassky thread or will it run out of power first? Will a rampagin' TNICCSTE be worse than the eller-funk it was meant to help catch? Stayed tuned right here and be sure to watch the other threads in Tall Tales. ::))
"Hey, that thang is headed t'wards Silver Crick Sleeum Coun'y!"
<Authors Note: Don't know fer sur, most likely, but who knows how much fuel this ACME Rocket contains. With no one to steer it who knows what thread is safe. ;D>
Delmonico and Trinity watch as the TNICCSTE gets smaller and smaller in the distance till suddenly it's gone, it's out of the thread and is heading almost straight east. ;D Delmonico gets his compass and Tall Tales map and does some figgering. ::) "It's headed right for little roosterville." :D ;)
'Pendin' on how much power that thang has, it might could poop out an' take out tha Sodbuster Township! Or... it could jus' land in no person's land. ::)"
"Tomahawk leader, this is Tomahawk four. Did you see that, Skipper? Over."
"Tomahawk four, this is Tomahawk leader. See what, Jonesy? Over."
Tomahawk leader, this is Tomahawk four. That's what I thought too, boss. Me neither. Out."
Ah, breaker one-nine, this here's the Rubber Duck. You gotta copy on me, Pig Pen, c'mon?
Ah, yeah, 10-4, Pig Pen, fer shure, fer shure. By golly, it's clean clear to Flag Town, c'mon.
Yeah, that's a big 10-4 there, Pig Pen, yeah, we definitely got the front door, good buddy.
Mercy sakes alive, looks like we got us a convoy...
The heat from the rocket engine warps the aerodynamics of the TNICCSTE and it begins to make a large arc entering and exiting the threads and no-person land.
<Author's Note: To late Tom, check out Silver Creek Slim County, Or what's left of it.> ;D
I been giving it some thought Trinity, if'n we can pick up another one of those fire cracker packs, I figure we can strap it to the that silo out there and travel to the stars
Now we just need us a driver ???
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on August 14, 2006, 07:53:43 PM
I been giving it some thought Trinity, if'n we can pick up another one of those fire cracker packs, I figure we can strap it to the that silo out there and travel to the stars
Now we just need us a driver ???
Mebbe the Sky Pilot would like a ride?
"Naw. Not after that tirade of cussin'. He's gotta clean up his act an' ask fer reee-demption fust. Who is tha person climbin' in? Mebbe thar's yer driver.?." ;D
Naw she can't drive, she's just making sure we can lock the lid down. er I mean so it will close securaly
10.....9.....8.....7.....6.....5......4.....3.....2.....1 Blast off. ;D
All right Slim be sure an write, Trinity wants to know iffen there's a Hooters on Mars, doan werry we'll read tha letter to im. ;D
Slim and the bin land in the Black Hills of Dakota Territory. :o
since there was no window in the feed bin, Slim thinks he has landed on a distant star.
he slowly opens the door.
Suddenly he is surrounded by strange creatures on some strange 2 wheel devices.
Slim grabs the mighty 10 and ducks behind the nearest rock to see what the creatures are doing. ???
The creatures on their strange 2 wheeled devices surround Slim.
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/StrangeCreatures.jpg)
Slim feels like a fish in a pond with everybody looking at him, maybe like a Sturgiss in a bowl ;D
The eller-funk pops into the Newbrassky thread carring Arcey's TV remote. ;D
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
Slim comes screamin' in from the Black Hills being chased by "the creatures on their strange 2 wheeled devices". :o :o :o
The eller-funk falls inta Newbrasski afer bein' zapped from Sod Buster Township 'n squishes the Harley people.
Slim now owes his very life to the eller-funk......
Hooinhell made that rocket?
They can't even SPELL rocket right. There ain't no B in front an' they left some letters off the back.
Dang dummies.
There. Rockettes....
(http://www.nationaldanceweek.org/rock_hat-b.jpg)
That better?
That night while laying in the hammock and sipping on a jug of recipe, Trinity calls over to OT in the rocking chair. "Ah wonner whar Sleeeum is raht now. Ya 'pose he done made it ta Mars?"
He may be close, I seen a shooting star a while ago, I hope it were't Slim :o
"Didja wish on it. 'Posed ta brang ya luck."
The monkey comes by looking for a drink and suddenly Trinity realizes why he always looked so familiar.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/index.png)
"Hey, OT. Whar didja say ya got tha monkey? Ah thank he looks lahk Stoney Pete. Come ta thank about it, he ain' been roun' hair much lately. Ah wonner!"
ya don't reckon :o :o :o
naw :o :o
is there a sorcerer around here anywhere, we may need a spell or something.
"Naw, Ah don' lahk ta spail. Don' lahk ta cypher neither. Ah wonner whar Stoney learnt ta rope sheep so well. Whar's his dawg?"
I think the sheep herder has done had a hex put on him. probably he's still mad about that time we shot him with the pea shooters.
the dog's a laying over by the barn, but she don't look like nobody we know, who's missing
That was PEE shooters. ;D
The dog could be Gopher Grease, but he was here at work 'bout a half hour ago. ;) Hand Tub came up from Saint Loooy Sunday and I fed him cheese steak samwhices. ;D Maybe it's Scattered Thumbs. :o
"C'mere Dawg!" Trinity shouts as he slaps his thigh. "You an' Monkey do us a show!"
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/monkey.gif)
If'n that thar's Stoney, you don't reckon he'll be mad at us fer making him do all these shows, if'n he gets changed back again
do ya ???
"Nawwww. Or do ya reckon. Ah ain' thought 'bout it much. Say, Stoney! If'n that's you, d'ya mind daincin' fer us?"
Monkey does a little dance, twirls the rope around his head, tips his hat and then kicks Trinity and Ozark in the shins
Ozark goes in the house and gets on the coal oil computer and types a letter, then goes back outside. and tells Trinity, I done sent for the Grand Wizard to check out the monkey,
" >:( Them wizzards best come a-packin'! Ah may be from tha south, but Ah don' lahk nary a one of them!"
Whoops! I thank I got a hold of the wrong wizard, I wanted one of them magic ones
Delmonico comes in and says, "I didn't 'member if ya wanted a wizard or a lizard, so I have it covered. :o ::)
The Wizard Lizard tries to turn Stoney back to himself, but sumthin' goes real wrong. ::)
Tha monkey runs over an bites Delmonico on the buttocks for bringing the Wizard Lizard. Then the monkey throws up.
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on August 15, 2006, 09:19:38 PM
Whoops! I thank I got a hold of the wrong wizard, I wanted one of them magic ones
"Oh, they's gonna be some magic PER-fomed when they show up. Fust ya'll'll see a cloud of smoke an' hair several loud bangs. When tha smoke settles, ever' one'a dem is gonna be down in tha dirt. Now tha's what Ah call magic!" ;D ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on August 15, 2006, 11:22:33 PM
Delmonico comes in and says, "I didn't 'member if ya wanted a wizard or a lizard, so I have it covered. :o ::)
(http://www.cascity.com/forumhall/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=974.0;attach=7677;image)
"That ain' tha FFG's magical stick, is it??" :o :o
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on August 16, 2006, 06:48:54 AM
Tha monkey runs over an bites Delmonico on the buttocks for bringing the Wizard Lizard. Then the monkey throws up.
"Shoulda done bit him on tha ear. That's whar tha sheep marshal bit him a few days ago." ;D
Quote from: Trinity on August 16, 2006, 06:07:10 PM
"That ain' tha FFG's magical stick, is it??" :o :o
Nope, that ain't a stick that is a wand, he conducts orc-ee-straws when he ain't bein' a wizard. ;D
"What in tarnation is a wand?"
A very expensive stick. ;D
Which one of them wizards is Harry Potter?
Quote from: Delmonico on August 16, 2006, 06:14:47 PM
A very expensive stick. ;D
'See! Tolt ya. Magical Stick! Y'ain' gotta fancify it bah callin' it a
wand. Pssshhht!"
Quote from: Forty Rod on August 16, 2006, 07:06:25 PM
Which one of them wizards is Harry Potter?
"Fust daid one on tha lef' "
Delmonico says, "Ya know we got carried away in soupin' up The Steam Traction Engine and there is still that cloud hangin' off to the north-east where it exploded. ;D Perhaps I should shop for a new one." ;D
Emerging from the cloud in the Northeast, a wagon can be seen approaching on the horizon.
As the wagon approaches, they can see that the team of horses the wagon and the driver are black as coal. Surely it must be death itself emerging from the smoldering cloud to collect it's dues! :o
Ozark sees the wagon a coming, leans over to Trinity and says, I thank I'll just go on in the house
As the wagon approaches, the driver pulls back on the reins, sets the brake, looks down at Trinity and with a pearly white smile through his blackened face says,"Howdy Trinity! Long time no see!"
Trinity starts to shake in his hammock, wishing he had gone inside with Ozark. Timidly, Trinity asks "Uhhhhh, d-d-d-do Ah know ya m-m-m-mr. Daith?"
Death?! Trinity! It's me Ornery Orr, remember? I come through these parts last year huntin' them flyin discs.
Trinity leans in the window and hollors Del, I think they's somebody out here a looking fer ya
"Well, howdy Ornery, wailcome back! Ah din't recognize ya without yer features. That is ta say, yer a mite sooty. Did Dail pull a joke on ya?"
That steam engine hit a might close and dusted me a bit. I was comin' from a bit further out west. I was huntin' buzzards out there and they started to swarm me in a big flock so I took off! ;D Never cared much for buzzards anyhow. They're an ugly critter. Beady eyes and a little bitty brain. ;) So I thought I might come see how yall are doin' in these parts. Seen any more of them flyin saucers?
"Ain't sure, our Wizard Lizard just sprouted wings would that make him a Flying Sause-er. ;D
Mebbe a flying sausage. Is the Lizard Wizard Polish? ;D
Since the hefalump saved Slim from the "creatures the the Black Hills",
(http://www.theothermovies.com/images/Wallpaper/WPcreat4800.jpg)
(Oops, wrong picture. ;D ) Slim is obligated to be his friend. The hefalump enjoys retrieving items. Slim walks into the dooryard, with hefalump in tow. "Howdy, Ornery Orr. Been a long time. Good ta see ya again."
Trinity sees the creature that just returned with Slim and the Ellerfunk and screems! He then looks at his jug, shakes his head, puts it down and passes out.
Trinity comes too, sits up and yells at Sherlene, are ya sure ya rinsed them jugs out good, I think the one I had was comtaminated,
(mumbles something about monsters)
Not one to waste, he downs the last of it but wipes his mouth afterwards. "Thar! Them CON-taminininents ain' gonna git me theeus tahm!"
The eller-funk hears that Slim is obligated to him and decides that Slim needs to learn to fetch. ;D The eller-funk demands a cold peanut beer and Slim fetchs him a large cold one. ;D
Next tha Eller-funk decides a game of fetch would be fun. It picks Slim up and tosses him over by tha barn then says, Now SLim, fetch yerself back here! ;D
After Slim fetches himself back. "Yeah, Jumbo. Follow me to Silver Creek County. I gotz something I want ta give ta ya." Slim leaves Newbrassssssssssky thread followed by Jumbo.
<Arthur's note: I figgered he needed a name. ;D>
Somethin' fishy about that guy. I think I used to date his sister.
But Slim knows down deep, when ya name something, it sure is hard to eat him.
<Authors Note, some friends used to run a dairy, when the freezer got low and over age Holstein went to the locker pland and was ground into burger, one went just for jerky. When you ate with Jim and Sandy she could tell you who you were eatin'.> ;D ::)
;D ;D
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on August 18, 2006, 06:27:37 PM
But Slim knows down deep, when ya name something, it sure is hard to eat him.
That didn't stop my grandfather from cooking my mother's pet duck when she was little. :o
Quote from: Sod Buster on August 18, 2006, 08:13:19 PM
That didn't stop by grandfather from cooking my mother's pet duck when she was little. :o
my father in law tells the story of when he was real young, he had a pet squirrel, one day he came home from school, his dad had the squirrel cooked for supper, told him the squirrel had jumped from the ice box to the kitchen table didn't make it and died from the fall.
after he was in his late teens, he was squirrel hunting, shot at one, missed, it jumped across to another tree, missed the jump, fell 30 feet to the ground, jumped up and ran off, no worse for the wear
said right then and there I knew that old sob was lying about my squirrell being killed in a 5 foot jump. ;D
Me and my goose
Me and my pal
We had some very good times
Me and my goose his name was Al
And he cost only a dime
Over meadows we'd stray
Playing all day
I missed him at night until dawn
Then one day I found he wasn't around
I wondered where Al could have gone
I looked everywhere he just wasn't there
Where could a goose be all day
I miss my pal
I miss my Al
It's sad that things turned out this way
Then mom brought him
I remember her grin
Stuffed with his feet pointed straight
I'll never forget the night that we ate
Al off of the old yellow plate
Arlo Guthrie ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on August 17, 2006, 10:56:51 PM
The eller-funk hears that Slim is obligated to him and decides that Slim needs to learn to fetch. ;D The eller-funk demands a cold peanut beer and Slim fetchs him a large cold one. ;D
(http://www.cascity.com/forumhall/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=974.0;attach=7710;image)
;D
"Hey Sleeum, Kin Ah have one of them Peanit beers? Ain' never had one!"
Don't bother Trinity, I have and well we bought a 6 pack and it took a couple of weeks to get rid of it all, everybody had to try one as in 1. ;D
"Does it taste lahk peanits?"
No, just lousy cheap beer, kind of like the plain label that was around only worse. ;D
Fall is fast approaching and Sod Buster has lots of pumpkins that will be ripe and ready to be make into Pumpkin Beer! yumm...Beer......
I got a recipe that has pumpkin beer in it. My wife was gonna buy some pumpkin ice cream for me from the Schawanns man, but i tolt her if she did I get sick and throw up on the living room carpet. ::)
Pumpkin puke :P a little messy to say the least.
:o
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on August 19, 2006, 09:01:08 PM
Pumpkin puke :P a little messy to say the least.
:o
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/puke3-1.gif)
dang pumpkins, they just can't hold their beer :o
It's probably due to all those seeds he ate. I don't think seeds and beer go together well.
I can tell you that spaghetti and beer don't go together well either, but that's a different story. ::) I will tell you, though, that I learned that I don't chew my noodles well.
I think if the truth be known he's probably a vegatable terian
Well! That explains it. On the other hand, how do you explain his otherwise healthy look? He doesn't look skinny enough to be a vegetarian.
we gonna havta check with Sod Buster, see if he's missing any of them fattening vegatables ??? ???
which ever ones they is. ;D
The only one I eat... Taters! ;D
:o naw not taters, lets fry some up and see.
Quote from: Trinity on August 19, 2006, 11:02:36 PM
The only one I eat... Taters! ;D
And Avocados....
A medium avocado has about 300 calories because it is rich in avocado oil, which is a healthy vegetable oil but still high calorie. Compare that to a bell pepper (22 calories) or a medium apple (80 calories) or an orange (65 calories) and you'll see the difference.
A medium baked potato contains about 100 calories, but often potatoes are loaded with butter, sour cream, cheese or other high calorie toppings. Or they are fried or mashed and served with gravy. Potatoes are also high on what's called the "glycemic index" in that they stimulate a rise in blood sugar levels and may actually make you feel hungrier. Potatoes contain carbohydrates and are therefore usually classified as carbohydrate choices on the food pyramid, along with bread, pasta and rice. Most vegetables provide a low source of energy, varying from 10 to 40 kcal per 100 grams of edible matter. The exception to this rule is the potato, which has a ratio of about 80 kcal per 100 grams.
But I don't eat them avocaders! :P
Quote from: Trinity on August 20, 2006, 09:41:58 AM
But I don't eat them avocaders! :P
What?!?
Trinity doesn't like
Guacamole ???
Nope! No me gusta!
ya gotta remember Sod Buster, it'd be green and Trinity has a fear of green food :o
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on August 20, 2006, 05:04:01 PM
ya gotta remember Sod Buster, it'd be green and Trinity has a fear of green food :o
Ohhhh.........
Good thing I haven't pushed the barley grass. ;D
Once I had some of the wheat grass juice, now that stuff tastes GREEN :o
I do like green jello. ;D ;D
I wonder what it'd be like if'n ya used wheat grass juice instead of the water, it'd still be green jello ;D
But it wouldn't taste the same! :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P
you could probably taste the green in that jello :P
JELLO SHOOTERS!!!!!! A couple of them and you don't care what damn color it is! ;D
Slim rides into the dooryard with a pack train in tow. "Anyone home? I gotts Wiscooooooooooonsin cheese, sausage, and butter. And all the green jellar y'ld even want." ;D
Ozark comes in and grabs some of the saltine crackers, sits down and enjoys the cheese and sausage, then puts a little butter on the crackers to top it off.
Trinity throws his extra sharp store brand cheddar cheese out of Keene, NH down and attacks the Wiscooooonsoin cheese. Then he has some sausage with butter on top. For desert he has several green jello shooters.
Quote from: Trinity on August 21, 2006, 06:22:43 PM
For desert he has several green jello shooters.
we mighta figured one day ya figure out how to eat and drink at the very same time
"Ah done trahd marinatin' food with beer an' whiskey, but that din't work. These hair grane jello shooters is jus' tha ticket!"
Ornery is homing in on the cheese sausage and crackers. He takes a bite of the cheese, gives a big smile and says, "This here cheese comes from happy cows!" Thinking quietly to himself, he thinks that if we give Trinity enough of them jeller shooters, he jest might go right to sleep and that means more cheese and sausage for me and Ozark Tracker. :o
"Ah shore do love this hair Jel-lo!" Trinity shouts into the kitchen "Dail! Ya wan' some? Ya might jus' fale better." ;D
Ornery, that thar sounds like a real good ideay, I'll get another jug and you get the jello mix. we'll save the cheese.
While the two are busy making Jello Squeezings TM, Trinity finishes off the cheese.
Ozark sighs-------------- well Ornery, at least we got a few hundred of the jello squeezings to slurp on, they begin slurpping
Trinity takes a row of twenty and starting at one end he begins to inhale. In a quarter of a second he finishes the entire row.
UH Trinity, did Ornery mention that I lost a tooth in there while we was a making this up,, if'n ya find it let me know.
"Musta been in another. Otherwahs Ah'da choked. Only got jel-lo squeezins in that run. ;D"
Well all right then, I think I'll go see if there's any left over biscuts. get a little mustard to go with it
"Uhhhh. Shore. They's plenny of mustard, but don' waste no tahm lookin' fer them bis-kits."
I think what the problem is I ain't seen Del in here a cooking since ya brought Sherlene home.
"Oh! Ah knew Ah fergot somethin! Ah ain' gonna hair tha last of theeus. Ah done lef' litl trinity in tha river ta bathe hissef nigh on ta five hours ago. Ah was 'posed ta brang him back ta Sherlene an' tha other one right away! Better go make sure he's steel thar!"
Trinity and Ozark run down to the river to check on litl trinity, there he is a floating on his back a shooting water up in the air like a little whale.
<Authors Note: Cheese from happy cows comes from Caly-foria acordin' to my TV. This is cheese from Wissy-consion, they ain't happy cows. How do I know? Well judgin' from the Wissy-consion quarter they all must look like hippos up there.> ;D
<Course the Newbrassky quarter has folks goin' the wrong way on the ory-gun trail.> ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on August 21, 2006, 10:30:58 PM
<Course the Newbrassky quarter has folks goin' the wrong way on the ory-gun trail.> ;D
they probabaly just hung up on one of them early day traffic circles ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on August 21, 2006, 10:30:58 PM
<Course the Newbrassky quarter has folks goin' the wrong way on the ory-gun trail.> ;D
The way the streets in Omaha are laid out, this doesn't surprise me! :D
<And what about the Iowa quarter, a 1 room schoolhouse? I think we all have been rooked on this quarter thing.> ;D
(http://graphics.jsonline.com/graphics/news/img/feb05/quarter2020805.jpg)
(http://www.bci13.com/blog/nebraska_quarter.jpg)
(http://img.search.com/4/47/300px-Iowa_quarter,_reverse_side,_2004.jpg)
This was the runner-up fer NE.
(http://media.newsnetnebraska.org/vimages/shared/vnews/stories/s-4417429f040ca-70-2.jpg)
Chim-bley Rock is on the north side of the North Platte and so is the trail, that makes the wagon go east. That cow looks like a hippo. Damned are-teeests, should hang half of them and maybe the other half would behave. Foundation in education? Makes it sound like no one made it out of the 1st grade. ::)
I like this one better than the cow, cheese, and corn one.
(http://www.wdfi.org/_resources/nonindexed/images/EarlyExploration_full.gif)
Quote from: Delmonico on August 22, 2006, 09:19:04 AM
Chim-bley Rock is on the north side of the North Platte and so is the trail, that makes the wagon go east. That cow looks like a hippo. Damned are-teeests, should hang half of them and maybe the other half would behave. Foundation in education? Makes it sound like no one made it out of the 1st grade. ::)
;D ;D ;D ;D
Here are some of IA's other designs.
(http://www.governor.state.ia.us/quarter/IA_1_full.jpg)
(http://www.governor.state.ia.us/quarter/IA_1a_full.jpg)
(http://www.governor.state.ia.us/quarter/IA_1b_full.jpg)
(http://www.governor.state.ia.us/quarter/IA_2_full.jpg)
<Least they didn't do the one that meantioned Grant Wood, might have had a border war with them. ;) Some of us think he copied a bit from the John Curry picture that Butcher took. NSHS now calls that picture "Nebraska Gothic." ;) A bit of croppin' on Mr. and Mrs Curry and we'll let ya be the judge.> ;D
<If I could be an arteeest, I would have submited one based on the Sylvester Rawdings family.>
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on August 22, 2006, 09:19:58 AM
I like this one better than the cow, cheese, and corn one.
(http://www.wdfi.org/_resources/nonindexed/images/EarlyExploration_full.gif)
I agree, that is a better choice.
Quote from: Delmonico on August 22, 2006, 09:10:28 AM
<And what about the Iowa quarter, a 1 room schoolhouse? I think we all have been rooked on this quarter thing.> ;D
Okay, now that was uncalled for! ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on August 22, 2006, 11:47:06 AM
<If I could be an arteeest>
You are an arteeest! An arteeest of the iron pot! :D
<The back of the New Improved Wissy-consion Quarter.> ;D
<Arthur's note: At one time, alot of small towns in WI had breweries.>
From what I've heard around here everybody just had their own. ;D
<<Yes, the Germanic people do love their beer! ;D>>
Trinity and Ozark Tracker stare at litl trinity in amazement. "How in tarnation 's he doin' that?" asks Trinity.
little deneese comes toddling in picks up all the quarters while the men are talking, carrys them to Daddy and gives them to him.
toddles off
Ornery, having seen what just happened to the quarters, shakes his head, smiles and says," Kids, ain't they somethin'? Lookin' out fer ther elders at such a young age." ;D
Slim, ask me about Wisconsin cheese...I dare you.
"Who was that thar keeud? OH! It were mah other young'n! Ah plumb fergot 'bout her."
<<Big brother... can I ask you about Wisconsin cheese?>>
I won't ask either of you about Wissy-consion cheese. ::)
<<I've heard of cheaseheads before, but never of cheeseb... nevermind.>>
I think there is a lot Slim ain't tellin' us. ::)
No wonder them fellers from Wisconsin always have a grin on their face. ;)
more cheese please
Sod Buster comes lookin' for Trinity with a gift for his kinder......a whole case of baby food made freshly from Sod Buster's garden:
Quote from: Forty Rod on August 23, 2006, 03:48:15 PM
Slim, ask me about Wisconsin cheese...I dare you.
<Arthur's note: Okay. What about Wiscoooooooooooonsin cheese?> ;D
Meanwhile back at the ranch, ::) Delmonico gets bored and orsers a new Steam Traction Engine, to be delivered next week. ::) He then heads to the workshop and closes and locks the door. ;D
Quote from: Sod Buster on August 23, 2006, 11:05:59 PM
Sod Buster comes lookin' for Trinity with a gift for his kinder......a whole case of baby food made freshly from Sod Buster's garden:
"Much ablidged pard, but mah kinder only eat Fleisch! Why Ah done caught ol' litl trinity just a-gumin' away at a mouse yestiddiy. Ah is so proud!"
Trinity, if you go after that cheese you'll be eatin' through a straw 'til Christmas. She'll bust your jaw, an' mebbe other stuff, too.
:o :o :o But it looks... so... TASTY!
Quote from: Trinity on August 24, 2006, 06:20:01 PM
"Much ablidged pard, but mah kinder only eat Fleisch! Why Ah done caught ol' litl trinity just a-gumin' away at a mouse yestiddiy. Ah is so proud!"
I thought they would enjoy the hot sauce...might make the mouse taste better!
Next Soddy will be offerin ta fix tha kids Gaucamole made with real moles! :o
Might be better than that stuff they make out of those avacoda things. :P :P :P
Quote from: Delmonico on August 24, 2006, 09:00:48 AM
Meanwhile back at the ranch, ::) Delmonico gets bored and orsers a new Steam Traction Engine, to be delivered next week. ::) He then heads to the workshop and closes and locks the door. ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on August 25, 2006, 02:23:03 PM
Might be better than that stuff they make out of those avacoda things. :P :P :P
For someone who's locked in a workshop, you sure do a lot of talkin'. ;D
Ornery peers into the workshop, which has been temporarily vacated by Del, to see what he's been up to in there. Oh my god!!! It's unbelievable!!! :o :o So this is what he's been soooo secretive about. Ornery can't harldly believe his eyes. He had only read about such things before, but now, here he is in the presence of one of the most fascinating inventions known to man!
Trinity and Ozark are walking out past the barn and workshop going to still #4, when an arm reaches out and pulls them into the workshop,
Trinity thinking he is being abducted by blue plates, screams and flings his arms wildly until Ornery tells him to hush up.
"Yes, Double Aught, is right, the greastest invetion of all time, I just need my new steam traction engine to power it up." ;D
all the men walk over to see the new invention, Trinity thinks it's a cage, Ornery and Ozark are not sure just what it is.
One hellofa clothes dryer!
Trinity runs down to the creek where Sherlene is washing and tells her to bring the clothes up to the new dryer when she gets done washing.
Sensing the opportunity to have a little fun, Ornery informs Trinity that if you crank the handle fast enough, the lateral boards make a whirring noise that drives the blue plates away. ::)
Trinity finally finds the handle and starts cranking, staring up in the sky all the time, smiling to hisself since he sees no blue plates flying around.
When Trinity ain't lookin' Delmonico pushes him in and closes the door. He then backs the Steam Traction Engine that did come today up to it and puts on a PTO shaft and starts er up. A Trinity Cleaner that uses no water. ;D
as Trinity starts bouncing around in the tumbler, the excess dirt starts shaking off, soon enough soil collects on the ground and the pto belt starts slipping as the tumbler drags in the dirt.
When the machine stops, Trinity tumbles out and begins to assemble the dirt which had been shaken from him and redistribute it about his person.
What Trinity don't realize is that it shook so much dirt out he will take days to get it all back in. ;D
Quote from: Trinity on August 26, 2006, 04:24:13 PM
When the machine stops, Trinity tumbles out and begins to assemble the dirt which had been shaken from him and redistribute it about his person.
Sod Buster comes by and sprinkles Trinity with some seed....figures he can be a walkin'/talkin' herb garden. Some of Soddy's neigbors have corn growin' on thier roofs so it is only logical that Trinity grow something too!
cha cha cha Trinity
Trinity's not worried as he knows his scent will make sure that nothing grows.
Sod Buster brings out his watering can and sprinkles Trintiy until he is watered down good, as the seed starts to germanate he feels the seed moving back and forth.
Looks like a new ride at the county fairgrounds. How fast can we get it goin'?
<<The Entendres of this are terrible, double or otherwise!>>
Trinity throws himself down to the ground and rubs like a dog in a pile of poop. Soon the seed is dead and there is no more worry of anything sprouting from his body that shouldn't be.
Sod Buster comes along and waters Trinity again, since he see's nothing sprouting
Trinity snatches the water can from Sodbuster's hands and bonks him over the head with it.
now look what ya done, and here he was a bringing over some vegatables for supper.
get some of yer corn squeezings and lets see if we can bring him too
Slim rides in from the Northeast. "Whatchall do ta the sodbuster?"
Sod Buster is sitting on the ground. He sees stars, in the shapes of veggies, spinning all around him.
;D ;D
Trinity's ever present stars take the shape of veggies too, causing Trinity to barf.(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/morepuke.gif)
Then his thoughts return to meat and potato's and he is houngry.
"Hey Dail! Is ya back yet? What's fer dinner?" (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/chow.gif)
Slim hustles into the kitchen with his saddlebags, puts the contents in the icebox, and quickly locks it 'fore Trinity (or his kin) eat it. He gives a key to Del.
When nobody is looking, Trinity teaches Denise how to pick a lock. Soon the family is enjoying fresh cheese and sausages. Well, the family is enjoying a slice of cheese and a hunk of sausage while Trinity enjoys the rest.
Ya might know it, yer expecting him around dark, and what does he do, shows up at noon.
"Wail! Ah got hongry an' come in hair ta find that Sleeeum done locked up tha dern ice box. Luckily, Ah had mah axe an' tought Deneeese how ta pick a lock, Nofe Car'liner stahl." ;D
Boy I tell ya what, sneaking around here in the middle of the day.
"Naw! It were lunch tahm an' Ah was powerful hongry!"
And Deneese is pretty good at lock picking ya say, I might want to babysit her next thursday
Slim walks in. "What's goin' on next Thursday?" ;D
uh, well, I, them, you know, the thing, uh, I just need little Deneeze to go with me, she knows about lock picking.
"And, what lock is gonna be picked?"
well I seen em carry some of that Wisconsin cheese into the warehouse behind the cafe up town, and since we don't ever get to sample none, (Trintyy always gets it)
I thought I'd go see what it tasted like.
"That's a good way ta end up in the pokey. Ya might wanna ask fer a sample."
yer right, I'd just as soon stay outa the pokey.
"Unless ya like mouldy cheese." ;D
Trinity sneaks up behind Ozark and taps him on the shoulder. "Boo!"
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on August 30, 2006, 10:16:23 AM
"Unless ya like mouldy cheese." ;D
Delmonico takes Benadryl and grabs his epi-pen. :P
Quote from: Delmonico on August 30, 2006, 11:59:23 AM
Delmonico takes Benadryl and grabs his epi-pen. :P
;D ;D ;D ;D
I think I had some of that moldy cheese one time. >:( :P
Most likely have, they make some of it mold on purpose, they call it Blu cheese or one of the several other kinds of moldy cheese. Nuthin' agin the fols 'lergive to peanut but I'm tired of readin' how this or that contains peanuts in bold letters when they hide moldy cheese in many items and don't tell us. >:(
I don't eat any blu cheese, no dressing at all. but at times I have trimmed a little mold off a hunk of cheese. to go along with some crackers
Won't hurt ya a bit unless ya is 'lergic to Penny-cillian, fact is eatin' it or Blu cheese can help cure an infection. Me it makes me have a bad, bad bad rash and my throat starts to swell up. Even just touching blu cheese or moldy break will cause a rash and minor swelling. :P
I've been lucky I don't know of anythng I'm 'lergic to, but I had an aunt who carried her injection with her for years. a yellow jacket sting was the first thing that had set her off.
Slim throws mouldy cheese at Del. ;D
Meanwhile back at the ranch, Delmonico heads to his barn workshop and closes the door. ;D
:o :o :o :o
Del approaches his latest project not realizing that Trinity and Ozark have been tweaking it for him. :o
"What was it that we done again, Ozark?"
<Authors Note: Yer messin' with the cook again, go watch Monty Walsh again and think hard about what yer doin">>
<<I had one of those moments this morning at 2 am! :o But then you good folks don't wanna know about that. ::) ;D>>
A large freight wagon apears and a new device is unloaded into Delmonico's work shop.
"Ooooh! It's a new mixin' machine! Whatcha gonna make fer us Dail?"
Then another wagon comes up and unloads. ;D
Ya don't want to get to close to that thing, it looks like it could eat ya. and then spit ya back out.
Just then another wagon comes up and unloads. ;D
I thank he's buildin a bigger Time Machine, we might be up to our ears in Eller-Funks iffen he completes it! :o
"Ah thank he's makin' a jumbo bread makin' DEEE-vice!"
Not sayin' nuthin' yet another wagon shows up. ;D
Ewww, Ewww, I thank he's buildin a giant roboticle thingamajig!
Not noticin' yet another wagon show up, soon Trinity is covered in taters. ::)
<Authors note: As in veggies.> ;D
<<Your killing my eyes with these small pictures. I need to decrease my screen resolution, I guess. ;D>>
<Authors Note: Some of what I needed was scarce.> ;D
"Dail's makin' tater braid!"
Delmonico hauls everythin inside his shop and locks the door. ;D
"But.......................... But....................... But, Dail! Come back, Dail. Dail, come back!!!!!!! We's hongry!"
Through the door he says, "just wait, I got a new product that is gonna take the snack world by storm. ;D
"Is they laht an' crispy? Ah wan' Old Bay seasonin' on mahn. Ya kin call them crab chips!" ;D ;D
"Just wait, they is a new improved Saratoga chip. " Suddenly a wagon load of 3 inch iron pipe shows up. ::)
I was just about ta go get ma napkin, but what do ya reckon he's gonna do with that load of pipe.
"Ah shore hope it ain' goin' inta tha food. Ah don' thank mah belly could handle all that!"
yer right, would sit awful heavy on a fellers belly.
Mebbe it's fer ta make a big fryin' pot!
or maybe he's gonna stuff it full of dough and then shove it through with a pole and cut off the chunks of dough, kinda like biscuts in a can ???
"Wow! What a great idear. If'n he don' do it, less us trah ta sail it ta tha stores that have ahs-boxes."
now who in this whole big world would buy biscuts in a can ???
Delmonico comes out of the shop with an iron pipe about 10 inches long with caps on both ends, he unscrews it and starts eatin' some Saratoga Chips that is all exactly the same size an shape. ;D
"See what I did, was run the taters through the rock crusher, mixed them in the cement mixer, run the dough through the mill roller and then stamped them out on the punch press. ;D They all come out exactly the same size and shape, then I pack them in the pipes and they don't get crushed in the box car on the train". ::)
that thar a'd be a good idea fer taking em out on the trail, no more broke chips.
"Kin ya sprankle some Ode bay on them?" ;D
Trinity bustles about gathering the tools to start making biscuits in a can because he knows there would be millions of people who don't know any better who would use them. Maybe even one day he might even think about making fancy french rolls and flat breads that the user can put sauce and cheese on. :o
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on August 31, 2006, 09:53:49 PM
now who in this whole big world would buy biscuts in a can ???
Me. :-[ ;D
Ozark gets Del's pipe cutter and starts cutting some of the pipe the length to fit the ice box and threads the ends for end caps, Trinity fashions a push rod from a dowel rod, fitted with a can top cut to the size of the pipe. a hole is cut in one of the end caps and the dowel rod pushed through until the can top is at one end,
the two take some dough and jam the pipe full and put on the end cap.
Trinity says he is going to the house and try it.
Slim walks into the kitchen where there is dough all over the walls, floor, cabinets, etc. :o Trinity is standing by the cookstove with a piece of pipe in his hand. ::)
Ozark sees the problem, Trinity, we made them tubes too long, too much dough. they need to hold just enough for one meal at a time.
Ozark takes a new unopened tube and tries to open it, the top is seized, he slaps it down on the counter, to loosen the top, with the loud noise, he says, we need to made these little pipes outa carboard, cut down on the noise.
Delmonico grabs Trinity and drags him out to his hammock and ties him in it, upside down, he then tosses out Mrs. Trinity and the little Trinitys and starts to clean up the kitchen. ;D
Slim grabs his warbags and "Mighty Ten". Saddles his horse and rides northeast. "See y'all later."
<Arthur's note: HQ is cutting our internet at 4 PM to do some upgrades.>
Delmonico takes the dough in the pipe, puts in some black, caps it and lights a fuse. It blows out and sails of to the north-east. (Sorry, I have to go, will it hit Slim, wait and see.) ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on September 01, 2006, 05:18:23 PM
Delmonico takes the dough in the pipe, puts in some black, caps it and lights a fuse. It blows out and sails of to the north-east. (Sorry, I have to go, will it hit Slim, wait and see.) ;D
;D
Marshal sees Del is still changing into a "Sheephearder' (doing da Dynomite) The next thing Ya know He'll calling da Sheep, "Bahhhh,
Bahhhh, Bahhhhhhh. :o
;D :D ;D
With Sherlene and the kids kicked out and Trinity tied to the hammock, Del is busy at work
Sherlene unties Trinity and gets the kids and they start walking today their cabin. Trinity tells Sherlene he's got some fish they can eat fer supper.
The biscuit dough hits Slim in the back of the neck and slides down the back of his shirt, it drifts to his pants and he rides home thinkin' he made a poo-poo in his pants. ;D
Delmonico ignores the fact that the Sheeeeeepherder don't know the differance 'tween dy-no-mite and a biscuit dough cannon. ::)
He then whips up a batch of real biscuits and puts some of his homemade sausage in to fry and gets out several cans of milk. ;D
When Ozark sees Del get out the can's of milk, he takes his seat at the table, thinking gravy might go along with this good meal.
<Author's note, it tasted so good last night I might do it again, quick and easy. Would anyone think bad of me since I put in a 13 hour day if I just micro-wave last night's biscuits.>
sounds just fine to me. most times when we do have home made biscuts, we save them and nuke em later. and after 13 hours that oughta entitle you to it.
<I always make extras and freeze them for such emergencies.> ;D
that's a good idea, a feller never knows when he might need a biscut or two.
<For good quick meals, buy several pounds of sausage, fry it and put it in a large glass jar, cover with the grease or add enough lard or bacon grease to cover completely. Dig out what you want, heat and drain enough grease back to cover. Seal with a lid and keep in refrigerator. Will keep for weeks, folks used to do that with crocks in the cellar. With good biscuits in the freezer you can have a good quick meal in 5 minutes.>
After Del gets the gravy ready, he and Ozark eat their fill of biscuts, gravy and sasuage, without Trinity there, they have plenty. even leftovers.
From his cabin, Trinity detects the smell of sausage. He puts his nose in the air and follows the scent to the Ranch with No Name where he finds Delmonico and Ozark Tracker finishing their fill of biscuits.
With glee Trinity takes a seat. He pushes his plate away as he pulls the plate of bisquits and the tureen of gravy over to him. He pours the gravy over the bisquits and then retrieves Delmonicos grease reserve an pours it over the bisquits as well.
I knowed that leftover grease would be a tempting ya. with them little bites of sausage in there.
Trinity is now covered in grease and keeps sliding out of the chair, he also slips and falls everytime he tries to stand up.
Slim rides into the ranch with sausage and cheese in his warbags.
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on September 05, 2006, 11:02:53 AM
Trinity is now covered in grease and keeps sliding out of the chair, he also slips and falls everytime he tries to stand up.
"Yens got me CON-fused with someone ails. Ah don' stan' up un-til Ah'm finished eatin, and then sometahms Ah don' even stan' up then. Raht now, Ah ain' done eatin." ;D ;D
Everybody else, cept Trinity, hurries out to taste test the cheese.
Trinity pulls on a rope next to his chair and the steam traction engine roars to life outside. It is powering a conveyor belt that brings the cheese to him. Meanwhile, everybody is busy looking for the missing cheese. Trinity chuckles to himself as he says: "Ah done stolt yer cheese!" ;D ;D
With out lookin' at the cheese Trinity bites into a hunk a coal Delmonico puts on the belt. ;D
Still not looking, Trinity makes a face but continues chewing. "Sleeeeum musta done brought back some of that Frainch cheese." :P
Suddenly Trinity's stomach starts to rumble, he realizes that it ain't gonna be good tommorow as the coal gases come out both ends. ::)
Trinity thinks about it for a moment then decides if he's going to be ill tomorrow he may as well go for the gusto. He tugs on the rope again and it speeds up the belt.
Thar she blows :o
Soon the cheese is finished and the sausages start down the belt.
as the sasuage is feeding down the belt, the pressure steadly builds in the steam engine, speeding up the belt each minute. as the sasuage moves faster and faster, Trinity tries to keep up by eating faster and faster.
Soon the sausages are finished and the belt begins to malfunction. As the belt breaks, it feeds into Trinity's mouth until he has eaten even the belt. With a loud burp, Trinity sits back in his chair and falls asleep.
as Trinity lays sleeping, the belt that had rolled up tight in his belly starts to unwind, in his belly
And the chunks of coal want out, right now. ;D
but the belt unrolling has sorta plugged things up.
Delmonico comes to the rescue with a big dose of......................................naw you know already. ;D
Trinity wakes up propped against a rock in the water on the riverbank. A brown grease coats the top of the water.
one end of the black power belt comes floating toward the surface, Trinity thinks it is a sea monster coming from the depths
"Aaaaaaarrrrrrrrgh!" Trinity screams. As he tries to swim away from the beast in the brown murky water it follows him.
one of the hooks that ties the belt together, snags on Trinity's back pocket, making the monster follow Trinity as he swims
Trinity swims and swims. Soon the water is no longer smelly and brown, but is now clear. The monster is still following Trinity, though.
Trinity swims until he is finallly up out of the water, thinking he has outrun the monster, he looks back and see's the long black object still behind him.
Delmonico trips Trinity and takes the belt and hooks it back up. He then swats Trinity with a rolled up newspaper right on the nose and tells him not to play with the Steam Traction Engine agin, he could get hurt or seriously killed. ::)
Trinity hurries on over to the front porch and looks back to make sure Del had got the monster, he then lays down in the hammock and monkey brings him a can of potted meat.
Slim sits on the porch drinkin' coffee and shakin' his head. ::)
As Delmonico tests the belt for damage it comes off and wraps around, Slim, Trinity and the monkey. :o Delmonico shugs his shoulders and goes to his office to order a new belt. ;D
Slim takes out his (http://i88.photobucket.com/albums/k186/SilverCreekSlim/Bowie1a.jpg) , cuts himself free and goes into the kitchen to start breakfast since the cosie went into his office. ::)
monkey pulls himself free and scampers to the barn loft. Trinity on the other hand is still trapped within the confines of the belt, rolling around the yard.
While struggling, Trinity had fallen asleep. Finally re-awakening, he finds that someone had removed the belt and he is again free to move about. He gets up out of the dirt, grabs the jug from under the porch and retires to his hammock. He is still sulking about being swatted on the nose with the newspaper.
A freight pulls up with Delmonico's belt and another small package. In it is a leather leash and a chain collar. ;D Delmonico ships the collar over Trinity's head and snaps with the leash and tells him to heel. ;D
Trinity runs around in circles.
slips the collar and runs toward the barn but about half way there remembers he's forgotten his jug.
Slim finally gits breakfast prepared. ::)
Slim gets ready to holler that breakfast iz ready when he looks out the winder an sees Del playing with hiz new pet Trinity! :o
Trinity runs past Delmonico into the kitchen. Breakfast is his favorite food!
Delmonico slips the collar and leash on him again and makes him do a sit/stay. ;D
Trinity does the sit and stay and grabs a plateful of food to sit and stay for.
Delmonico takes the food away and give Trinity a smoked pig ear as a reward for doin' the sit/stay.
Trinity lilcks his pig ear and then salts and peppers it and starts to gnaw on it. all the while keeping an eye on the regular food.
Trinity finally finishes the pigs ear and grabs the plate and wolfs down the food before Delmonico can stop him. Then he removes the collar and throws it out the window, making Delmonico fetch it. ;D
Delmonico catches Trinity and puts him in his crate. :o
being that Trinity is now full, he curls up and goes to sleep
Delmonico signs him up for the obediance classes startin' in Dunning. ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on September 11, 2006, 07:55:33 PM
Delmonico signs him up for the opediance classes startin' in Dunning. ;D
Trinity already knows how to pee. ;D ;D
Delmonico changes the pee to a bee and also decides Trinity needs his distemper, parvo and rabies shot while in Dunning. ;D He also decides to have hime checked for worms and will get him heartworm meds also. ;D
Stoney rides up to the ranch house. He slowly gets off his horse and carefully removes a small wrapped package and a jug of squeezin's from his saddle bags.
Upon entering the house he climbs up into the cuppola and unwraps his package revealing a small cake. Stoney places a single candle in the center and lights it. Happy Birthday FFG. I miss you. :'(
Taking a pull from the jug, Stoney stares into the small flame and remembers the first time they met. Must be alot of dust up here in the cuppola. :'(
Slim climbs the stairs to the cupola to join Stoney. :'(
Delmonico rides off into the hills.
Trinity goes up to the cupola too and greets the other two. "Howdy Sleeum, Howdy Stoney, good to see you back, pard."
Trinity lays a stiff pair of pants against the wall. He still remembers with fondness how the FFG liked his clothing. ;D :-[ :'(
Stoney awakens. The candle has burned itself out. Sky is a light grey in the east. It will be sunrise soon.
Moving quitely so as to not disturb Trinity and Slim's sleep, he climbs down from the cupola.
In the kitchen he makes coffee and head out to the porch to do what he does best...sit on the porch and eat whilst watchin' the sun come up and go down.
Irish grabs some coffee and joins Stoney on tha porch. That was a good thing ya done yestiddy pard! The dust is thick outside too! :'(
Slim wakes and joins his pards on the porch. :'(
Acknowledging Slim's entrance, Stoney turns to Tom, "She probable woulda whacked me with El Kabong for it. I know she'd want us to move on. I have and will continue too. However, though there is nothing mystical involved, I intend to light a candle in her memory each year on her birthday."
I think that firin off a warthog round of da Holy Black would be appropriate too!
Delmonico rides in from the hills and says, "Yes she would have whacked you with it. I whack myself with it every now and then. Show up out here sometime and I'll do it for you also." ;D
(Now that Annie would have loved.) ;D I fell better. :)
Trinity wakes and goes downstairs just as Del is talking about wacking himself. He really doesn't feel like laughing, but he can't help but chuckle.
Slim pulls out a Remington NMA, with conversions cylinders filled with .45 Colt FFG, with each hand. He points 'em in the air and fires them alternately. BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM!
Over at his Soddy, Sod Buster hears the tribute. Some soot falls in his eye. Dang dust. :'(
Slim decides it's about time he goes to see how the herd is doing. He rides toward the herd.
Delmonico says, "I'll be back in a few days, I'm going to go buy winter supplies, it could get bad anytime now in Newbrassky." He rides off to Dunning and the CB&Q RR. ;D
"Don' dilly dally lahk ya normally do!"
ya reckon he'll bring back some of that penny candy from town? I'd like to try one of them.
"Naw. But he'll brang back plenty-a castor earl!" :P
:-\ I thank I druther have candy.
Delmonico rides Reuben hard and reaches Dunning, he puts Reuben up in the Livery Stable and boards the evening train to Omaha. ;D
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on September 14, 2006, 06:02:13 PM
:-\ I thank I druther have candy.
"If'n Ah had mah druthers, Ah'd choose the kaindy too. But ya gotta 'member who we's tawkin' 'bout."
well ya are right bout that, we'd best look out when he gets back, he might have some of them little chocolate's that'll move ya.
"Yep! Ah'll bet he's got a large order of them jus' waitin' fer ta pick up! :P :P :P"
ya sure don't want to eat them things like candy. :o
"Ah know! Ah done et a entire box oncet. It weren't no fun a'tall! After a whall, that Muntgummry Wards caterlog gits jus' too scratchy! :o"
I didn't thnk they'd be enough pages in there.
Delmonico goes to the dining car and has clam chowder and a lobster with a baked tater and a piece of cheesecake. He wonders how the fellas on the ranch are farin' fer supper. ;D
mean while back at the ranch, Trinity has got a few cans of potted meat from his stash and Ozark and Trinity have found some saltine crackers, they sit on the front porch and eat their dinner.
After his supper, Delmonico heads to the sleepin' car and his berth.
Quote from: Delmonico on September 14, 2006, 10:09:10 PM
After his supper, Delmonico heads to the sleepin' car and his berth.
;D
Del jumps up into His bunk, hears a soft Bahh, Bahh. :)
Soon He's counting sheep n falls asleep. :)
In the middle of the nite Dell kicks, one of the sheep goes Bahhh!, n Dell wakes up to find His bed full of sheep-- :o, but they are soft N warm, He soon falls back asleep.
Marshall walks by........... ;D
Yep. He's gonna be a Sheephearder. :o
::)
8)
Quote from: Delmonico on September 14, 2006, 07:11:10 PM
Delmonico goes to the dining car and has clam chowder and a lobster with a baked tater and a piece of cheesecake. He wonders how the fellas on the ranch are farin' fer supper. ;D
**arthur's note** That's cowdah and lobstah. Please if'n your gonna eat New England food at least speak the language. ;D
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on September 14, 2006, 07:21:39 PM
mean while back at the ranch, Trinity has got a few cans of potted meat from his stash and Ozark and Trinity have found some saltine crackers, they sit on the front porch and eat their dinner.
Seeing they boys eatin' Stoney heads to the smoke house and pullls out a side bacon. As he passes Trintiy he begins to drool in anticipation. "Don't worry Trinity, you share your squeezin's liberally and you know I'm the same with my pork and bacon."
Stoney fries it all up and heads back to the porch with it and a huge basket of freshly baked bread.
OT, you may like this a bit better than crackers.
Ozark sits down his remaining potted meat and gets a little of the pork to eat. Trinity finishes off his potted meat and the rest of Ozark's then heads fer the bacon.
Delmonico has decided to ignore the sheepherder again for total lack of new ideas and as for Stoney Pete he decides that ain't no way he's gonna talk that way ta eat dirty dish water and a big bug. ;D He gets up and gets dressed as the train pulls into South Omaha and the stock yard district, he decides that maybe he'll have breakfast in a little while when they ain't so close to the stockyards, it smells almost as bad as a sheep herder. :P
Slim brews some coffee on the campfire and eats some corndodgers while he listens to the lowing beeves.
Suddenly there is a clap of thunder and the cattle stampede. ;D
As Slim sees the cattle head his way a song plays in his head. ;D
When I was but a young man I was wild and full of fire
A youth within my teens, but full of challenge and desire
I ran away from home and left my mother and my dad
I know it grieved them so to think their only boy was bad
I fell in with an outlaw band, their names were known quite well
How many times we robbed and plundered, I could never tell
This kind of sinful living leads only to a fall
I learned that much and more the night I heard my Master call
One night we rustled cattle, a thousand head or so
And started them out on the trail that leads to Mexico
But a norther started blowing and lightning flashed about
I thought someone was calling me, I thought I heard a shout
Then at that moment lightning struck not twenty yards from me
And left there was a giant cross where once there was a tree
And this time I knew I heard a voice, a voice so sweet and strange
A voice that came from everywhere, a voice that called my name
So frightened I was thinking of sinful deeds I'd done
I failed to see the thousand head of cattle start to run
The cattle they stampeded, were running all around
My pony ran but stumbled and it threw me to the ground
I felt the end was near, that death would be the price
When a mighty bolt of lightning showed the face of Jesus Christ
And I cried oh Lord forgive me, don't let it happen now
I want to live for you alone, Oh God these words I vow
My wicked past unfolded, I thought of wasted years
When another bolt of lightning killed a hundred head of steers
And the others rushed on by me and I was left to live
The Master had a reason, life is his to take or give
A miracle performed that night, I wasn't meant to die
The dead ones formed a barricade least six or seven high
And right behind it there was I, afraid but safe and sound
I cried and begged for mercy kneeling there upon the ground
A pardon I was granted, my sinful soul set free
No more to fear the angry waves upon life's stormy sea
Forgiven by the love of God, a love that will remain
I gave my life and soul the night the Saviour called my name
<Arthur's note: Great song sung by one of the good ones. ;D >
Delmonico makes it to the Omaha Station and heads to the market district. ;D
Meanwhile back at the ranch as Slim realizes that lightning ain't likey to strike another song from Marty Robbins's "Gunfighter Ballds" album runs through his head. ;D
And now my friends you've asked me what makes me sad and still
And why my brow is darkened like the clouds upon the hill
Run in your ponies closer and I'll tell to you my tale
Of Utah Carol my partner and his last ride on the trail
We rode the range together and rode it side by side
I loved him like a brother, and I wept when Utah died
We were rounding up one morning when work was almost done
When on his side the cattle started on a frightened run
Underneath the saddle that the boss's daughter rode
Utah that very morning had placed a bright red robe
So the saddle might ride easy for Lenore his little friend
And it was this red blanket that brought him to his end
The blanket was now dragging behind her on the ground
The frightened cattle saw it and charged it with a bound
Lenore then saw her danger and turned her pony's face
And leaning in the saddle tied the blanket to its place
But in leaning lost her balance, fell in front of that wild tide
"Lay still Lenore I'm coming" were the words that Utah cried
His faithful pony saw her and reached her in a bound
I thought he'd been successful, and raised her from the ground
But the weight upon the saddle had not been felt before
His backcinch snapped like thunder and he fell by Lenore
Picking up the blanket he swung it over his head
And started cross the prairie, "Lay still Lenore" he said
When he got the stampede turned and saved Lenore his friend
He turned to face the cattle and meet his fatal end
His six gun flashed like lightning, the report rang loud and clear
As the cattle rushed and killed him he dropped the leading steer
On his funeral morning I heard the preacher say
I hope we'll all meet Utah at the roundup far away
Then they wrapped him in a blanket that saved his little friend
And it was this red blanket that brought him to his end
Slim says ta himself, "Tis too dangerous out here with the beeves. I'z goin' back ta the ranch." ::)
After feasting with Stoney, Trinity, and Ozark, Irish gets some of the bread and fried bacon, and grabs a hunk of Wissycooonsin Chedder outta tha ice box. He wraps it up and heads out on his horse to bring it to Slim. About halfway to where the herd was he sees Slim riding towards him. He meets Slim and hands him the package of food and a small jug of Trinity's squeezins. "Where's the herd?" Slim looks to the North and says, "Out there somewheres, they stampeded." Slim eats the food Irish brought as they let their horses slowly amble back to the Ranch With No Name.
"Thanks fer the grub, Tom."
With ole Marty singing in the background, Trinity and Ozark spot Slim and Tom a riding in. they wonder aloud the whereabouts of Del tonight
More Marty drifts over the Ranch With No Name.
They call me a drifter, they say I'm no good
I'll never amount to a thing
Well I may be a drifter and I may be no good
There's joy in this song that I sing.
Saddle tramp, saddle tramp
I'm as free as the breeze and I ride where I please
Saddle tramp, saddle tramp.
At night I will rest 'neath a blanket of blue
Doubt if I ever will change
I might even dream of a lady I knew
Might even whisper her name
Saddle tramp, saddle tramp
I'm as free as the breeze and I ride where I please
Saddle tramp.
I might even wind up in Idaho
And visit a cute little miss
A sweet little someone I used to know
And I might even stop long enough for a kiss.
Saddle tramp, saddle tramp
I'm as free as the breeze and I ride where I please
Saddle tramp, saddle tramp.
Might even ride back through Phoenix someday
Might even stop for awhile
But branded, no never! I'll not be tied down
Trapped by a fair lady's smile.
Saddle tramp, saddle tramp
I'm as free as the breeze and I ride where I please
Saddle tramp!
Delmonico has finished his shopping in the Wholesale Grocery district and has mad arangement for shipping to the ranch. He then boards the east bound back to Dunning. ;D
As Tom & Slim ride ito the yard, Trinity grabs a jug from the front porch and Ozark gets a new hunk of wisconsin cheese and saltine crackers, they all relax and listen to the music,
Delmonico finishes his 24 oz Porterhouse steak with buttered carrots, butter beans and a big hunk of cherry pie. He heads to his Pullman berth. ;D
Delmonico makes it back to Dunning, picks up Reuben at the livery stable and heads back to the ranch after makin' arangements for the supplies to be shipped when they come in next week. ;D
as the men are sitting on the front porch they begin talking about traveling, Trinity says he'd be as fer as San Antone once, done seen the alamo, Ozark, says once he went to Ft. Smith and seen a hanging up to Judge Parker's gallows. all have a story to tell.
Irish tells how he came with his family from Ireland. The boat landed in New York City. His Pa worked there for a while till he was offered work runnin a rail crew for the Railroad. The family came West with him, they were killed in a raid on the Railroad work camp. Irish had learned to drive a team to help brining up materials for the railroad line so he drove a wagon around a good bit of the West while searching for the men that killed his family.
Listening to Irish go on and on, Trinity's mind wanders and he begins to wonder what had happened to the small jug that Delmonico had once used to try to trick him. In it was a very powerful laxative, but what Del didn't know at the time is that Trinity never made "small" jug. :o
Suddenly Slim's belly starts ta gurgling! :o
Trinity hears the sound and realizes where the jug had disappeared to.
"Ever'body DOWN! He's gonna bloooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!"
Slim jumps up, to make a run fer it.
Delmonico gets back to the ranch in tim to see Slim poop his pants. :P
What a welcome home
It's flowing in torrents out of his pant legs by now. Everybody climbs on the porch and orders Slim to remain out in the dooryard.
monkey grabs a bucket from the horse trough, fills it and tosses it on Slim, again, again and again
Slim is like an express train at this point, there's no stopping until he reaches the end of the line. It has gotten so bad even the dogs won't go out into the dooryard. They all look at Del like, You woulda rapped us on tha nose fer that!
"Keep drankin' that water, Sleeeum. Ya don' wanna drah up afore yer body is finished eee-liminatin'. The result is kahnda lahk vapor lock on tha body. :o"
Delmonico rolls up his copy of The Omaha Bee and goes out an whaps Slim on the nose and then spreads the papers out in the yard. ;D (No Slim ain't gonna get no Milkbone fer this performance.)
<Authors Note, Rita found some dog treats that are puffed corn that are peanut butter flavored. He likes them a lot. He also is fun to put a dop of peanut butter on his nose.> ::) :o ;D
Since his "friends" won't allow him in the house in his present condition, Slim waddles to the Dismal to rinse out his pants and boots. ::)
When Slim gets out of the river, Delmonico trips him and slaps stickers to the sole of each. ::) Slim removes his boots and turns the upside down to read the sticker. "When Liquid Material is in Boots, Turn Them Upside-Down to Empty." ;D
Trinity starts trying to tell Slim how he does it. not being able to explain, he shows him, walking down the porch steps Trinity trips falls head over heels, gets up and tells Slim, see how ma boots was upside down ther fer a little , bit but they never left ma feet.
Trinity is so proud of his trick that he does it again... and again... and again.
As Trinity does his trick, monkey sees him and jumps up & down and chatters at Trinity, trying to tell the men standing around that he taught Trinity that trick.
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on September 18, 2006, 11:14:42 AM
Since his "friends" won't allow him in the house in his present condition, Slim waddles to the Dismal to rinse out his pants and boots. ::)
Yer welcome at my fields any time. I can always use the fertilizer! :o :o :o :o
well it is time for a few fall crops to be planted. if they anin't already.
Quote from: Sod Buster on September 18, 2006, 08:40:17 PM
Yer welcome at my fields any time. I can always use the fertilizer! :o :o :o :o
"Thanks, I think." ::)
"Wheat plantin' time in the north."
<Athor's Note" Collards plantin' time in the Deep South.> ;D
worked me up about a quarter acre for planting turnips, me & the deer share them,
Quote from: Delmonico on September 19, 2006, 09:25:30 AM
<Athor's Note" Collards plantin' time in the Deep South.> ;D
;D ;D ;D
<<Isn't it always?>>
If'n ya didn't plant em every chance ya got, ya couldn't have fresh collard greens all the time.
Ugh! :P
There used to be a little balck lady lived down the road from us, that would make greens that would almost cause you to slap your moma.
I've never had em quite that good since.
I'd never slap my mama. She'd kill me if I did! :o
you know that old saying mothers use,
I brought you into this world, I can take ya out.
Trinity begins to think about his mother and searches for a piece of paper. Finally finding one in the kitchen, he sits down to write his mother a letter.
After an hour he finishes it, folds it up and rides it to town to post it.
Ozark sees Trinity a finishing his note and comments, I reckon yer Maw will be pleased to hear from ya. At least she'll know ya ain't in some stinking jail somewhere.
"Naw, she woudn't thank that. Now Bambino on the other hand, she'd 'speck it!"
well I reckon they's one in most every family.
Slim, who is finally dry from his trip to the Dismal, goes ta his room and changes into less fragrant clothes. He goes ta the kitchen and starts breakfast.
Ozark smells the breakfast cooking in the house so he goes in to see if he can get a bite before Trinity gets there.
Delmonico recives a note, "The groceries will be here tomorrow." ;D
Slim finishes making breakfast and hands Ozark a plate full. Slim fills a plate fer himself, pours some coffee, and goes to the porch to watch the sunrise.
A large freight wagon comes in from the east.
Slim watches the wagon, while he eats, to see what is unloaded.
Quote from: Delmonico on September 19, 2006, 09:25:30 AM
<Athor's Note" Collards plantin' time in the Deep South.> ;D
Reminds me of the old song:
When its peach picking time in Georgia, apple picking time in Tennessee
Cotton picking time in Mississippi, everybody picks on me
When its round up time in Texas, cowboys make whoopee
Down in old Alabama, well, its girl picking time to me.
Reeefrain: Bee oh de lay ee oh, Dee oh de lay ee oh, Dee oh de lay eeee
There's the bluegrass down in Kentucky, Virginia's where they do the swing
Carolina now I'm coming, To you, to spend the spring
Arkansas I hear you calling, I know I'll see you soon
There's where I'll do a little picking, Underneath the Ozark Moon
Now when hard times overtake you, I hope they don't get me
For I've got a sweetie waiting, For me down in Tennessee
I know I'm going to see her, I hope it wont be long
There's where we'll pick a little cabin, And call it our mountain home
So while the old folks are picking cotton, I'll pick a wedding ring
We'll go to town, and pick a little gown, for the wedding in the spring
I hope the preacher knows his business, I know he cant fool me
When its peach picking time in Georgia, its gal picking time to me
As the wagon gets closer Trinity notices that it is loaded with nothing but vegetamables. Trinity throws up and then passes out.
Under the veggies anre the canned goods which go quickly in the cellar. ;D
with all the canned goods sorted, stacked and stored safley for the winter, the rest of the load is unloaded in the house and barn.
Slim decides he needs to stretch his legs, so he goes to the barn to gather milch and eggs.
Ozark sets down on the front porch and pulls out Trinity's favorite jug and has just a little medication.
Slim comes outta the barn with milch and eggs to find Ozark snoring on the porch holdin' a "recipe" jug. He tiptoes past and puts the milch and eggs in the icebox.
:o
;D
Before the freight wagon leaves it stops and unloads a large crate in Delmonico's workshop. ;D
Ozark wakes up just as a crate is being unloaded in the workshop and he wonders what kinda new device Del is planning.
Delmonico then locks himself in the workshop. ;D
Ozark sits on the porch, listening to the sounds of the crate being ripped open, he thinks to himself, now if ole Trintiy was here, he could ease over there and peek in, but since he's gone fer a couple of days, on a potted meat buying trip, I guess I'll just have to wait and see what he's got.
Pretty soon the bangin' and hammerin' stops and all is quiet for a moment. Then Ozark hears Del let out a satisfied "YES!!"
Slim puts on fresh coffee and makes breakfast of: bisquits and gravy, scrambled eggs, fried bacon, pork sausage, fried tators, and squash glop. ;D
Delmonico locks the shop and comes into the kitchen, "Trinity will be home this evenin', save him some squash glop." ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
"Will do." ;D
Hey Slim, put sum a that there suasage gravy on tha glop, by tha time Trinity realizes whut it iz he'll have done swallered it! ;D
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
With a full belly of Slim's cooking, Ozark and the other fellars settle down on the front porch and start talking about the thing that Del has in the Barn, taking guess's at what it might be.
Delmonico goes back to the shop to work. ;D
Irish Tom is thinking so hard he feels a headache comin' on. Slim's thinkin' about what Trinity might do when he finds there's glop under his sausage gravy. Ozark has another sip from his jug.
Still no noise from the shop.
Ozark passes the jug to Tom, he tells him to take a headache dose. first, that'll cure ya,
Trinity rides in but looks very tired. "Ain' been feelin' good today, gonna go up ta tha room an' sleep."
As he passes by the Glop covered with sausage gravy,Trinity catches the odor of the squash and throws up right into the bowl. He makes it upstairs and into his room before passing out.
with Trinity a feeling poorly, Ozark reckons he's done got a hold of some bad potted meat on his trip.
Shore enuff the fellers check Trinity's saddlebags and find some cans that read "Genewewine Imitation Potted Meat Product" in little letters below its says, "Canned by the Bad Potted Meat Company" Tombstone, AZ.
Since Trinity can't read they all know he went by tha size and shape of the can.
The fellars know they have to revive Trinity now or it may be too late. they run up stairs, drag him outa the bed and down stairs and into the kitchen, Trinity complains but they start out by making him drink lots of water.
Delmonico gives him a bunch of salertus (bakin' soda) ;D Delmonico tells Tom to saddle up and ride to Dunning and ge ol' Doc Killemercurem. ::)
Slim brings out the bowl of squash glop/Trinity's vomit and dumps it in the sty. I hawgs gobble it up. ::)
:o
Makes the Hogs sick, N kills the cockroches! :o
:D
:P
Tom comes riding in with the doctor, who looks at Trinity and declares he'll have to operate to save him. He starts getting out his equipment.
Slim gets some leather straps to tie Trinity down. :o
Delmonico offers the doctor any extra tools he needs from the workshop. ;D He goes down to look if there is anything he can use. ;D
"Del, bring the 5 pound sledge." ;D
Delmonico also heats up the forge and puts Slim's runnin' iron in it to heat fer caught-er-iz-in'. ;D
Trinity doesn't like the look of what the Doc has chosen from the workshop.
Ozark comes riding in from the south with a box filed with ice fer the doctor, he hops off his mule and runs over to the doc and tells him he has the biggest turkey gizzard he could find in any of his turkeys.
Delmonico finds the gizzard in the box of ice and makes mashed potatoes with giblet gravy. ;D
Everybody stops what they are doing and sits down to eat the meal Del has cooked, since it's already cooked,
Ozark gets on the coal oil computer and sends an e-mail to his turkey farm and tells them to send another gizzard or a box full in ice just in case the medical team gets hungry again or if Trinity needs 2 gizzards to transplant.
;D
Meanwhile, Marshal hooks up the Dynomite leads to trinity's ears Pushes the plunger; sparks go from ear to ear. :( No effect.
Marshal rearanges the leads to Trinity's tounge and His big toe. YeWawwwwwwwww! :o
Trinity's fully revived, n envigerated. Stagers outside N falls into the Horse trough. :o
Suddenly Trinity comes to and wonders where he is. He beings to worry as there appears to be a lack of oxygen. In a last ditch effort he takes a deep breath only to have his lungs fill with water causing him to choke and thrash about, destroying the trough. Finally the air returns to Trinity's lungs, but he has fallen asleep again.
Ozark comes over and wakes Trinity up and tells him he better stay awake, that ole doctor is just aching a give ya a gizzard transplant if'n he catches ya napping again
"Sobody say gizzards? Ah'll have me a dozen!"
<<Author's note: Actually, I hate gizzards, but love the word ;D>>
Feeling better, Trinity eats the rest of the giblet gravy and begins to wonder where the smoked turkeys that came with the gizzard went too.
Delmonico goes back to the workshop out in the barn and soon all the horses and mules are out in the corral and the doors are all shut. ;D
Everybody eases on out to the porch to see what comes out of the barn, if anything
Trinity brings along an extra jug for the festivities
They all begin to wonder again what Del is making in the barn.
Delmonico goes to the house and goes to his room and gets all the wax discs and the phoney-grapf and takes them to the barn. He also goes to the shed and gets a can of coal oil. ;D
I just hope he don't get none of that coal oil on the bottom of the phoney-grapf, that thing'll be rocking and rolling all over the table.
Delmonico fires up The Steam Traction Engine and runs it over to the side of the barn. He hooks the drive belt up to a pulley hangin' out of the hayloft and kicks in the PTO. ::)
He heads back in. ;D
everybody takes cover, just in case something flys out from the barn
Trinity lays back in the hammock and take a large sip out of the jug. "Anybody make some food?"
Ozark comes out from around the edge of the house, Did you say somebody was making food? ;D
I am houngry, even though when Del starts whatever he's a building it may change the world as we know it.
"Naw. Ah was a-askin' ifn' anybody done made some food. Mah belly is a-rumblin'. Didja brang anythin?"
Delmonico comes to the house to make gravy and biscuits fer supper. "Yep it will change the world as we know it." ;D :o ::) :D
Quote from: Delmonico on October 01, 2006, 04:56:46 PM
Delmonico comes to the house to make gravy and biscuits fer supper. "Yep it will change the world as we know it." ;D :o ::) :D
the invention or the gravy and biscuits, Ozark tells Trinity, Del musta got some new kinda flour.
Del makes enough biscuits and gravy for everyone, then some extra for Trinity.
"This is a sellybrashun supper" he declares. "When y'all done finished eatin' I will open the barn doors and your lives will change forever!"
Everyone looks at Del in awe, except Trinity, who finds it hard to be enthusiastic about anything but the food in front of him.
Trinity is busy licking the gravy pan as everybody follows Delmonico out to the barn.
There in the barn, the belt from The Steam Traction engine is turnin' a glass ball hangin' from the rafters, a coal oil lantern has a reflector pointed at it and light is bounchin' all around the barn. There are folks dressed real funny, do a weird dance and the fony-graf is planin' some music by some guy who sounds like he's been neutered. "Stayin' alive, stayin' alive awww awww awww awww stayin' alive." ;D
All the men of the ranch go inside and the sparkley light hits Trinity in the eyes, he stumbles backwards and falls down, Ozark, passes smooth out, thinking Trinity had been zapped by the light.
the lights, music and bump on the head has affected Trinity, suddenly he jumps off the floor rolls up his britches legs and starts to dance
...and he begins to sing:
"Whether yer a brother or whether yer a mother, yer stayin' alive, stayin' alive! ..."
Trinity gets ta gyrating around the room and he discovers the glass ball reflecting all the light is almost as good as the jug.
Delmonico offers Trinity some white powder on a little spoon and tells him to snort it. Soon his nostril hairs are stuck together with Plaster of Paris. ;D
Trinity stops dancing and trys to get the plaster out of his nose when he pulls it out, it rips out all the nose hair on one side, he rolls back on his heels and puts both hands straight up in the air and screams, thens starts walking backwards across the floor dragging his feet, then slams down to his knees,
every cheers for his dancing skills.
Still with a high pitch to his voice, Trinity grabs his nose and says "Oooh!" all the while still walking backwards and dragging his feet.
Somebody tells Trinity that he needs to go out fer a walk in the moon light where nobody cant' see him picking his nose. he does and gets everything outa there, he comes back in to the dance floor and starts a dancing again adding that move he invented when the plaster was in his nose,
he calls it his moon walk :o ;D and starts singing again, staying alive staying alive, I got the plaster out so I'm staying alive.
Then Trinity turns to the people staring at him and in an ernest tone he says:
"Darkness Falls Across The Land
The Midnite Hour Is Close At Hand
Creatures Crawl In Search Of Blood
To Terrorize Y'awl's Neighbourhood
And Whosoever Shall Be Found
Without The Soul For Getting Down
Must Stand And Face The Hounds Of Hell
And Rot Inside A Corpse's Shell
The Foulest Stench Is In The Air
The Funk Of Forty Thousand Years
And Grizzy Ghouls From Every Tomb
Are Closing In To Seal Your Doom
And Though You Fight To Stay Alive
Your Body Starts To Shiver
For No Mere Mortal Can Resist
The Evil Of The Thriller
AH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH"
Slim comes in wearing a garlic necklace, holding a wooden stake in his hand, and has silver boolits in his pistol.
Meanwhile a feller in the corner of the room who's been watching Trinity's girations comes across and put his arm around Trinity's shoulder.
"Son, I've been watching you and I think you got the makin's of a star. How'd you like to be in my new movie?"
Trinity's not sure what a movie is but doesn't like the way the feller is cuddling him.
Trinity leans over and whispers ta the fellar, if'n yer paying attention to that thar song, staying alive and ya want ta stay alive to hear it, ya better let me go.
Tha feller pats Trinity on tha bottom n sez I'll be back later wif yer contract!
:o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o
"What? What in tarnation!? Jes what did he mean? Ah don' thank Ah like his lookin' at me lahk that!"
Their gonna put ya in the movies, they gonna make a big star outa you
"Nope!"
...
...
...
"What's a mooovie?"
Delmonico sees the guy in the high heeled Eye=talian shoes pat Trinity on the butt and a song comes to mind. ;D
Got my irons in the fire down in Texas
Got a toe hold in Tennessee
Got my foot in the door of that California Store
Now I'm up to my ears in me
Don't be concerned if the song sounds familiar
Don't be concerned if it all seems the same
Just be concerned that your policies will kill you
It's all just public domain
I took a bite of the Big Apple
And I dabbled in that forbidden fruit
No they promised me points
And they slipped me skinny joints
And I've yet to see me any loot
From that man in the high-heeled Gucci shoes
Don't be concerned if the song sounds familiar
Don't be concerned if it all seems the same
Just be concerned that your policies will kill you
It's all just public domain
I sang in the Red River Valley
I've drank with the whores in Santa Fe
Yeah, I ran with the snuff queens in Dallas
Like I ran from Snow White in L.A.
Now I've broken all my vows to Demola
Don't be concerned if the song sounds familiar
Don't be concerned if it all seems the same
Just be concerned that your policies will kill you
And it's all just public domain
And with a flash, Delmonico decides Disco Sucks and starts to clear out the barn. ;D
As he works he sings,
Pissin' in the wind, bettin' on a losing friend
Makin' the same mistakes, we swore we'd never make again
And we're pissin' in the wind, but it's blowing on all our friends
We're gonna sit and grin and tell our grandchildren
About the time I called this Guy it was four in the morning
Teach me the words to the song I was humming
He just laughed and he said that the ole grey cat is sneakin' down the hall
But all he wants to know is who in the hell is paying for the call
Pissin' in the wind, bettin' on a losing friend
Makin' the same mistakes, we swore we'd never make again
And we're pissin' in the wind, but it's blowing on all our friends
We're gonna sit and grin and tell our grandchildren
Now this Nunn called me up, it was eight in the morning
Wanted to know how in the world am I doin'
He just laughed and he said get together boy, and fall on by the house
Some Gonzo buddies would like to play anything your's picking now
Pissin' in the wind, bettin' on a losing friend
Makin' the same mistakes, we swore we'd never make again
And we're pissin' in the wind, but it's blowing on all our friends
We're gonna sit and grin and tell our grandchildren
Now we worked and we suffered and struggled
Makin' our record till we got it right
Now we're waiting on the check to come sneaking down the hall
Like that old time feeling
That we never should have ever put the record out at all
Pissin' in the wind, bettin' on a losing friend
Makin' the same mistakes, we swore we'd never make again
And we're pissin' in the wind, but it's blowing on all our friends
We're gonna sit and grin and tell our grandchildren
That the answer my friend is just pissin' in the wind
The answer is pissin' in the sink
And with everyone cleared out Delmonico shuts the doors and stats to clear out the disco mess. ;D
The round Disco ball slips out of Del's hands as he takes it down and it starts to roll down the hill toward the Dismal. As the sun hits it it sparkles and shoots off little rays of light. Trinity is hynotized by it and begins to chase the rolling ball.
Quote from: Trinity on October 04, 2006, 09:38:52 PM
"What? What in tarnation!? Jes what did he mean? Ah don' thank Ah like his lookin' at me lahk that!"
I don't think Sherlene would like it either.
Trinity runs on down the hill after the ball and right into the dismal.
Slim comes outta the house with the "Mighty Ten" and warbags. He saddles his horse and rides east. "See y'all on Monday."
Slim meets a water soaked Trinity a walking back to the racnch from his dip in the Dismal, a dragging the sparklee ball behind.
Ozark sees Trinity come a walking inta the yard with the sparklee ball dragging close behind, and his favorite jug in his hand
Delmonico has locked the barn doors and lights can be seen through the windows. ;D
Trinity sees the light in the barn windows and being a little looped he walks into the wall below the window. the sparklee ball rolls up against him holding him against the wall and he falls asleep.
Delmonico carries several shovel fulls of wood chips from the barn and then moves the steam traction engine to another place on the side of the barn. He then hooks up the belt to a new shaft comin' out of the barn. :o ::)
Everybody again takes a seat to see what happens when Del throws the clutch on the drive shaft, everybody except fer Trinity, he's still proped up again the barn, a sleeping it off.
Delmonico kicks in the PTO and goes in the barn, in a couple minutes he flys out the door and rolls across the yard. ::) He then dis-engages the PTO and puts up a sign. :o
GRAND OPENING TO-NIGHT DELMONICO'S COUNTRY BAR
Come Ride the Me-can-ic-al Bronco
:o :o :o
all the fellars watch as Del rolls outa the barn and as he walks back and puts up his new sign, all except Trinity, who's still leaned up against the barn a sleeping.
Trinity finally wakes and struggles enough to move the ball pinning him to the barn. Feeling relaxed, Trinity stretches and drags the ball back into the barn where he hangs it up again.
Thirsty after all of this work, Trinity takes a jug from under the porch and heads for the hammock.
about the time that Trinity gets good and layed down, Del starts the mechanical bull again, Trinity sits up and listens
<Author's Note: Mechanical Bronco, Rodeo didn't include bull ridin' till into the 20th Century. The did do wild longhorn milkin' ya got a rope, a bottle and a longhorn cow off the range with out her calf, ya had ta fill the bottle. Bull ridin' was considered safer.> ;D
Delmonico opens the doors and the music rolls out.
Yeah, I work all week just to make a draw,
Sometimes I don't ride 'em at all.
But I'm hooked in and I got to ride that train.
When I get down in that chute,
I can't keep from thinkin' about all that loot,
I'm a ro-do-o de-o de-o cowboy
Bordering on the insane.
CHORUS
That's why I drink a cheeseburger, eat a six-pack
Take a Darvon to kill the pain.
Pay thirty-two fifty just to take a fall,
I live through it to tell you 'bout it all.
I'm a ro-de-o de-o de-o de cowboy
Bordering on the insane.
Now, relax and take a deep breath or two
It's a one time shot and then you're through
Hang on, boy, and someday you'll have fame.
When they open up that gate
The bull takes off like a runaway freight
And you're a ro-de-o de-o de-o de cowboy
Bordering on the insane.
That's why I eat a cheeseburger, drink a six-pack
Take a Darvon to kill the pain
Pay thirty-two fifty just to take a fall
I live through it just to talk about it all
I'm a ro-de-o de-o de-o de cowboy
Bordering on the insane.
The cobwebs sure are thick, what's goin' on?
I feel like all my circuits are blown.
I can't remember my number or name.
Gimme a beer or two and I'll feel fine,
'Least it's worked every other time
Cuz I'm a rodeo de-o de-o de cowboy
Bordering on the insane.
That's why I eat a cheeseburger, drink a six-pack
Take a Darvon to kill the pain
Pay thirty-two fifty just to take a fall
I live through it just to talk about it all
I'm a ro-de-o de-o de-o de cowboy
Bordering on the insane
That's why I eat a cheeseburger, drink a six-pack
Take a Darvon to kill the pain
Pay thirty-two fifty just to take a fall
I live through it just to talk about it all
I'm a ro-de-o de-o de-o de cowboy
Bordering on the insane
Delmonico says, "anyone want to ride, bet Slim would if he was here." ;D
Everybody goes over ta the porch and starts talking about the new fun ride over in the barn, just loud enough so's Trinity can hear.
Trinity raises up again to take a look.
He tilts the jug back and drinks again. "Ah maht take mah chaince after Ah done drunk a little more."
but Trinity, that thar is a ride just like down to the marrygo round.
Yep, she shore does, that Mary.
Delmonico says, "here Trinity, it's like a Merry-Go-Round ride. Just get on the pony." ;D
We were having a drink at Stockman's,
Listenin' to the guitars ring.
Jesse said "You know,they sold the M.C. horses."
"I'll be damned.When was that?" I hadn't heard a thing.
"Back in August--100 head and more."
Yeah, the people they come from everywhere
Just to bid on 'em high and low
And thereby own a piece of the legend.
With the cow herd all dispersed the old cavvy she had to go.
Back in August--100 head and more.
So come on boy, run 'em in. We're gonna let this sale begin.
Last of the big remudas of the mightly M.C.
There's horses here for everyone.
Saddle 'em kids let's get her done.
By the time that Oregon sun goes down
This outfit's history--this outfit's history.
So the M.C. crew they rode 'em all
And the people all gathered 'round.
One ol' boy gave two grand for Banjo.
Banjo took his trailer apart
When he tired to load him up for town
Back in August-- 100 head and more.
If you ever have beer at the Aydell Store
Say hi to Chuck and Annie.
They'll show you them big ol' steer heads up there hangin'.
When you ask where have they gone?
Hell, they're gone like the M.C. cavvy
Back in August--100 head and more.
So come on boy, run 'em in. We're gonna let this sale begin.
Last of the big remudas of the mightly M.C.
There's horses here for everyone.
Saddle 'em kids let's get her done.
By the time that Oregon sun goes down
This outfit's history--this outfit's history
We were having a drink at Stockman's
Way out on the sagebrush sea.
Jesse said "You know, they sold the M.C. horses."
all the men start toward the barn, so Trintiy gets up and goes to see what they got in thar.
Trinity hollors, "a pony, Delmonico gots a pony." As Trinity gets on, Delmonico shovels 3 more big scoops of coal into the fire box of The Steam Traction Engine. ;D :o
Mama don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys
Don't let 'em pick guitars and drive them old trucks
Make 'em be doctors and lawyers and such
Mama don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys
They'll never stay home and they're always alone
Even with someone they love
Cowboys ain't easy to love and they're harder to hold
And they'd rather give you a song then diamonds or gold
Lonestar belt buckles and old faded Levi's each night begins a new day
And if you don't understand him and he don't die young
He'll probly just ride away
Mama don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys
Don't let 'em pick guitars and drive them old trucks
Make 'em be doctors and lawyers and such
Mama don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys
They'll never stay home and they're always alone
Even with someone they love
Cowboys like smokey old pool rooms and clear mountian moringin's
Little warm puppies and children and girls of the night
And them that don't know him won't like him
And them that do sometimes won't know how to take him
He ain't wrong he's just different
but his pride won't let him do things to make you think he's right
Mama don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys
Don't let 'em pick guitars and drive them old trucks
Make 'em be doctors and lawyers and such
Mama don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys
They'll never stay home and they're always alone
Even with someone they love
Mama don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys
Don't let 'em pick guitars and drive them old trucks
Make 'em be doctors and lawyers and such
with Trinity astride the bull and the steam traction engine running a full head of steam, he throws the PTO in gear
As Trinity goes bouncin' around, the phony-graph plays on. :o
It's the same old tune, fiddle and guitar
Where do we take it from here
Rhinestone suits and new shiny cars
We've been the same way for years
We need to change
Somebody told me when I got to Nashville
Son you finally got it made
Old Hank made it here, we're all sure that you will
But I don't think Hank done it this way
I don't think Hank done it this way
Ten years down the road, making one night stands
Speeding my young life away
Tell me one more time just so I understand
Are you sure Hank done it this way
Did Ol' Hank really do it this way?
I've seen the world with a five piece band
Looking at the back side of me
Singing my songs and one of his now and then
But I don't think Hank done 'em this a'way
No I don't think Hank done 'em this a'way
Take it home
Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Haaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!
Trinity rides until the steam is almost used up in the steam traction engine and then asks when he can ride again, as he hops off he tells everybody he learned that from a fellar he met one time
The Cowboy in the Continental Suit
------Marty Robbins
Well, he walks out in the arena
All dressed up to the brim
Said he'd just came down from a place
Called "Highland Rim"
Well, he said he came to ride the horse
The one they call "The Brute"
But he didn't look like a cowboy
In his Continental Suit
We snickered at the way he dressed
But he never said a word
He walks on by the rest of us
As if he hadn't heard
A thousand bucks went to the man
Who could ride this wild cayuse
A meaner horse was never born
Than the one they called "The Brute"
The horse that he was looking for
Was in chute number eight
He walked up very slowly
Put his hand upon the gate
We knew he was a thoroughbred
When he pulled his sack of "Dukes"
From the inside pocket
Of his Continental Suit
Well, he rolled hisself a "Corley"
And he lit it standing there
Blew himself a smoke ring
And he watched it disappear
We thought he must be crazy
When he opened up the gate
Standing just inside was
Fifeteen hundred pounds of hate
The Buckskin tried to run him down
But the stranger was too quick
He stepped aside and threw his arms
Around the horse's neck
And pulled himself up on the back
Of the horse they called "The Brute"
Sit like he was born there
In his Continental Suit
"The Brute's" hind-end was in the air
His front end on the ground
Kickin' and a-squealin', tryin' to
Shake this stranger down
But the stranger didn't give an inch
He came to ride "The Brute"
And he came to ride the Buckskin
In a Continental Suit
Well, I turned around to look at Jim
And he was watchin' me
He said, "I don't believe
The crazy things I think I see
But I think I see the outlaw
The one they call "The Brute"
Ridden by a cowboy
In a Continental Suit"
"The Brute" came to a stand-still
Ashamed that he'd been rode
By a city cowboy in
Some Continental clothes
The stranger took his money
And we don't know where he went
We don't know where he came from
And we haven't seen him since
The moral of this story:
Never judge by what they wear
Underneath some ragged clothes
Could be a millionaire
Everybody listen
Don't be fooled by this galoot
This sure-'nough bronc buster
In a Continental Suit
Delmonico shovells in a bunch more coal and Trinity ends up in the hayloft. ;D
See him wasted on the sidewalk in his jacket and his jeans,
Wearin' yesterday's misfortunes like a smile
Once he had a future full of money, love, and dreams,
Which he spent like they was goin' outa style
And he keeps right on a'changin' for the better or the worse,
Searchin' for a shrine he's never found
Never knowin' if believin' is a blessin' or a curse,
Or if the goin' up was worth the comin' down
He's a poet, he's a picker
He's a prophet, he's a pusher
He's a pilgrim and a preacher, and a problem when he's stoned
He's a walkin' contradiction, partly truth and partly fiction,
Takin' ev'ry wrong direction on his lonely way back home.
He has tasted good and evil in your bedrooms and your bars,
And he's traded in tomorrow for today
Runnin' from his devils, Lord, and reachin' for the stars,
And losin' all he's loved along the way
But if this world keeps right on turnin' for the better or the worse,
And all he ever gets is older and around
From the rockin' of the cradle to the rollin' of the hearse,
The goin' up was worth the comin' down
He's a poet, he's a picker
He's a prophet, he's a pusher
He's a pilgrim and a preacher, and a problem when he's stoned
He's a walkin' contradiction, partly truth and partly fiction,
Takin' ev'ry wrong direction on his lonely way back home.
There's a lotta wrong directions on that lonely way back home.
<Author's Note: Is anyone warped enough besides my to know what Movie this Kris Kristoferson song is the theme to, hint, Gene Hackman was the Co-Star. ;D ::)>
"That was a heap-a fun! Ah wanna rahd agin!"
Delmonico says, give me a few minutes and he shovels in the coal and fills it up with water and the foooney-graph plays on. ;D
My daddy left home when I was three
And he didn't leave much to ma and me
Just this old guitar and an empty bottle of booze.
Now, I don't blame him cause he run and hid
But the meanest thing that he ever did
Was before he left, he went and named me "Sue."
Well, he must o' thought that is quite a joke
And it got a lot of laughs from a' lots of folk,
It seems I had to fight my whole life through.
Some gal would giggle and I'd get red
And some guy'd laugh and I'd bust his head,
I tell ya, life ain't easy for a boy named "Sue."
Well, I grew up quick and I grew up mean,
My fist got hard and my wits got keen,
I'd roam from town to town to hide my shame.
But I made a vow to the moon and stars
That I'd search the honky-tonks and bars
And kill that man who gave me that awful name.
Well, it was Gatlinburg in mid-July
And I just hit town and my throat was dry,
I thought I'd stop and have myself a brew.
At an old saloon on a street of mud,
There at a table, dealing stud,
Sat the dirty, mangy dog that named me "Sue."
Well, I knew that snake was my own sweet dad
From a worn-out picture that my mother'd had,
And I knew that scar on his cheek and his evil eye.
He was big and bent and gray and old,
And I looked at him and my blood ran cold
And I said: "My name is 'Sue!' How do you do!
Now your gonna die!!"
Well, I hit him hard right between the eyes
And he went down, but to my surprise,
He come up with a knife and cut off a piece of my ear.
But I busted a chair right across his teeth
And we crashed through the wall and into the street
Kicking and a' gouging in the mud and the blood and the beer.
I tell ya, I've fought tougher men
But I really can't remember when,
He kicked like a mule and he bit like a crocodile.
I heard him laugh and then I heard him cuss,
He went for his gun and I pulled mine first,
He stood there lookin' at me and I saw him smile.
And he said: "Son, this world is rough
And if a man's gonna make it, he's gotta be tough
And I knew I wouldn't be there to help ya along.
So I give ya that name and I said goodbye
I knew you'd have to get tough or die
And it's the name that helped to make you strong."
He said: "Now you just fought one hell of a fight
And I know you hate me, and you got the right
To kill me now, and I wouldn't blame you if you do.
But ya ought to thank me, before I die,
For the gravel in ya guts and the spit in ya eye
Cause I'm the son-of-a-bitch that named you "Sue.'"
I got all choked up and I threw down my gun
And I called him my pa, and he called me his son,
And I came away with a different point of view.
And I think about him, now and then,
Every time I try and every time I win,
And if I ever have a son, I think I'm gonna name him
Bill or George! Anything but Sue! I still hate that name!
Trinity has done found something he's really good at, so he starts looking through the notices to see if any Wild West Shows are anywhere close around, He'll go and ride one of the wild bulls fer money.
"Ah lahk the ones painted ernge tha best."
As Trinity climbs on, the steam pressure gauge on The Steam Traction Engine is up in the red zone and the bailin' twine Delmonico has tied the saftey valve down with is strained. ;D
was a highwayman. Along the coach roads I did ride
With sword and pistol by my side
Many a young maid lost her baubles to my trade
Many a soldier shed his lifeblood on my blade
The bastards hung me in the spring of twenty-five
But I am still alive.
I was a sailor. I was born upon the tide
And with the sea I did abide.
I sailed a schooner round the Horn to Mexico
I went aloft and furled the mainsail in a blow
And when the yards broke off they said that I got killed
But I am living still.
I was a dam builder across the river deep and wide
Where steel and water did collide
A place called Boulder on the wild Colorado
I slipped and fell into the wet concrete below
They buried me in that great tomb that knows no sound
But I am still around..I'll always be around..and around and around and
around and around
I fly a starship across the Universe divide
And when I reach the other side
I'll find a place to rest my spirit if I can
Perhaps I may become a highwayman again
Or I may simply be a single drop of rain
But I will remain
And I'll be back again, and again and again and again and again..
(I did a Wille, a Waylon, a Kris and a Johnny song, figured I better do this one.)
Delmonico kicks in the clutch and as Trinity goes throught the roof of the barn, some Guy comes up on the pfoney-grapf. ;D
Well, he was wino, tried and true.
Done about everything there is to do.
He worked on freighters, an' he'd worked in bars.
He worked on farms, an' he'd worked on cars.
It was white port that put that look in his eye,
Grown men get when they need to cry.
We sat down on the curb to rest,
And his head just fell down on his chest.
He says: "Every single day it gets,
"Just a little bit harder to handle and yet. . ."
Then he lost the thread and his mind got cluttered,
And the words just rolled off down the gutter.
Well, he was elevator man in a cheap hotel,
In exchange for the rent on a one room cell.
An' he's old: years beyond his time,
No thanks to the world, and the white port wine.
So he said: "Son." He always called me son.
Said: "Life for you has just begun."
An' then he told me the story I'd heard before
How he fell in love with a Dallas whore.
Now, he could cut through the years to the very night,
When it ended in a whore house fight.
And she turned his last proposal down,
In favor of being a girl about town.
Now it's been seventeen years, right in line,
He ain't been straight in none of the time.
It's too many days of fightin' the weather,
An' too many nights of not being together.
So he died.
Instrumental break.
An' when they went through his personal effects,
In among the stubs from the welfare checks,
Was a crumblin' picture of a girl in a door,
An' an address in Dallas, and nothin' more.
An' the welfare people provided the priest,
A couple from the mission down the street,
Sang "Amazing Grace", and no one cried,
'Cept some lady in black, way off to the side.
We all left and she's standing there,
A black veil covering her silver hair.
Ol' One-Eyed John said her name was Alice,
An' she used to be a whore in Dallas.
So let him roar, Lord, let him roll.
I bet he's gone to Dallas, rest his soul.
Just you let him roll, Lord, let him roar
He always said that heaven
Was just a Dallas whore.
Just you let him roar, Lord, let him roll.
I bet he's gone to Dallas, rest his soul.
Trinity comes back down and lands on the phonograph, crushing it.
Delmonico pulls out a spare one and plays a slow sad song. ;D
He said I'll love you 'til I die
She told him you'll forget in time
As the years went slowly by
She still preyed upon his mind
He kept her picture on his wall
Went half crazy now and then
He still loved her through it all
Hoping she'd come back again
Kept some letters by his bed
Dated 1962
He had underlined in red
Every single I love you
I went to see him just today
Oh but I didn't see no tears
All dressed up to go away
First time I'd seen him smile in years
He stopped loving her today
They placed a wreath upon his door
And soon they'll carry him away
He stopped loving her today
(Spoken)
You know she came to see him one last time
Oh and we all wondered if she would
And it kept running through my mind
This time he's over her for good
He stopped loving her today
They placed a wreath upon his door
And soon they'll carry him away
He stopped loving her today
And Delmonico plays one more afore he closes. ;D
If I could roll back the years
Back when I was young and limber
Loose as ashes in the wind
I had no irons in the fire
I could ride them wild young broncos
The adrenaline came quickly
And Juanita down at Mona's
Was my only hearts desire
And the sighing of the pines
Up here near the timberline
Makes me wish I'd done things different
Oh, but wishing don't make it so
Oh the time has passed so quick
The years all run together now
Did I hold Juanita yesterday
Or was it fifty years ago
We were living for the moment
And the sunlight on my silver bits
The ringing of my jinglebobs
Was the music of my soul
In the alley back of Mona's
I held Juanita in the shadows
How we held on to each other
And the lovin' that we stole
And the sighing of the pines
Up here near the timberline
Makes me wish I'd done things different
Oh, but wishing don't make it so
Oh the time has passed so quick
The years all run together now
Did I hold Juanita yesterday
Or was it fifty years ago
If I would have quit them broncos
She might have quit that business
But that was back in the fast days
You know before the wire
I bet I could still find her
Bet she's still as pretty
As when she's Juanita down at Mona's
And my only heart's desire
And the sighing of the pines
Up here near the timberline
Makes me wish I'd done things different
Oh, but wishing don't make it so
Oh the time has passed so quick
The years all run together now
Did I hold Juanita yesterday
Or was it fifty years ago
And the sighing of the pines
Up here near the timberline
Makes me wish I'd done things different
Oh, but wishing don't make it so
Oh the time has passed so quick
The years all run together now
Did I hold Juanita yesterday
Or was it fifty years ago
Ozark, ya might make some hatbands out a some of them feathers, bet we could sell them here. ;D
we got enough of em to make some, I gathered up a 5 gallon bucket fer Arcey the other day when they went out. l
let'em dry out a little before sending em.
Trinity rides the merry-go-round one last time and retires to the kitchen to see what's to eat.
after eating Trinity joins the other men on the porch, everybody passes around the jug and relaxes
Trinity takes his place in the hammock and swings as he drinks. "Shaw is a nahce naht"
with everybody relaxing on the porch, talk turns to the weather, the cold will be setting in fore long, won't be no more swims in the Dismal fer awhile
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on October 08, 2006, 07:50:13 PM
with everybody relaxing on the porch, talk turns to the weather, the cold will be setting in fore long, won't be no more swims in the Dismal fer awhile
Meanwhile, work continues at Sod Buster's place. Most vegetables have been harvested but it continues for tomatos, pumpkins, and sweet potatoes. Peanut digging have begun, but yields have not been promising. Other farm activities this week included planting small grains, sampling soils, repairing fences, and planting strawberries.
Quote from: Sod Buster on October 08, 2006, 07:56:23 PM
Meanwhile, work continues at Sod Buster's place. Most vegetables have been harvested but it continues for tomatos, pumpkins, and sweet potatoes. Peanut digging hafe begun, but yields have not been promising. Other farm activities this week included planting small grains, sampling soils, repairing fences, and planting strawberries.
got about an acre of trunips planted and about 8 inches tall, fer me and the deer, looks really good so far.
Sickened by the conversation on the porch, Trinity leaves for his cottage to see what Sherlene and the kids were up to.
Trinity arrives at the cottage just in time to see Sherlene throw a mess of Turnip greens in a skillet of hot oil, with a bunch of bacon crunched up in it.
Slim arrives at the ranch asleep on his horse. ::)
Trinity rescues the bacon and flees the heathan cottage. Back at the ranch, Trinity finds Slim asleep on his horse. Recognizing a good sleep, Trinity decides not to wake him, but leads his horse into the barn and into a stall. Trinity gently drapes a blanket over Slim before falling asleep himself in the hay two stalls over.
As Trinity sleeps, the cheese in Slim's saddlebags puts off a great smell, making Trinity's belly rumble loudly.
Delmonico moves Slim from his horse to Delmonico's wooden horse. ;D He goes out and fills The Steam traction Engine with water, rakes out the banked fire and shovels a bunch of coal in the fire box. ::) :o
;D
;D :D ;D
:o
Suddenly Slim is screaming and yelling as the wooden rocking horse is wildly trying to throw Slim. However, Slim maintains astride the wooden beast.
The commotion awakens Trinity and he looks up to see what is the matter.
Slim hollors down from the hay loft, "what hoppened?" ::) ;D
as the horse is bucking wildly, a hunk of cheese flys out of Slim's saddlebags
In slow motion, Trinity runs across the barn and leaps at the cheese, catching it with his teeth and landing gracefully in the hay.
A second piece flies out of the barn and lands on top of the boiler of The Steam Traction Engine, it melts and runs down the side. Trinity burns his tongue tryin' to lap it up. ;D
Trinity spies the first piece of cheese that flew out of Slim's pocket, but a Belguim Rat see's it at the same time.
Soon Trinity comes out of the barn with a Belgum Rat clamped to his nose by it's teeth. ;D
But Trinity is happily chewing on the hunk of cheese. ;D
The Belgium Rat runs up and shows his teeth to Trinity.
Trinity shows his tooth to the belgian rat. The rat passes out and falls to the ground.
Delmonico puts the rat in a bag and puts it in Slim's saddle bags. ;D
Better not let the rat out of the bag! :o
The rat was only pretending to pass out, now he's in there with all Slim's cheese, chunky cheese.
;D
Who says rats are stupid? ;D :o
::)
The rat runs off with all the chunks of cheese, goes down by the Dismal and opens the first, Chunky Cheese,
Quote from: Marshal harpoluke on October 09, 2006, 08:50:16 PM
Rats are the only animal in the world stupider than a sheep
Guess yer the only one.
Quote from: Delmonico on October 09, 2006, 09:53:18 PM
Guess yer the only one.
;D
Rats are the smart ones according to the Chineeze Zodiac. They even outsmarted Da Ol Dragon--like You. :o :o
;D :D ;D
Trinity hears Delmonico talking about the cold weather coming, so he go out to the stroage cellar and retrieves a weeks worth of potted meat so if he gets trapped in the house he'll have provisions.
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on October 10, 2006, 05:39:12 PM
Trinity hears Delmonico talking about the cold weather coming, so he go out to the stroage cellar and retrieves a weeks worth of potted meat so if he gets trapped in the house he'll have provisions.
Sod Buster starts twistin' straw together to use a fuel incase there ain't enough dried buffalo poop! :o
with all the goings on round here, we done plum forgot to gather any chips :o :o :-\
Trinity has his potted meat, but still cries over the loss of the cheese. :'(
Trinity hugs his potted meat cans as he crys, then decides a sip from his jug will make his troubles dissapear.
He fills a large cup recipe. Then he spreads some potted meat on a cracker and dips it into the cup. "Yummmmmmmmmmm!"
Quote from: Trinity on October 10, 2006, 09:19:14 PM
He fills a large cup recipe. Then he spreads some potted meat on a cracker and dips it into the cup. "Yummmmmmmmmmm!"
and thinks how good a slab of cheese would be on the cracker, he then remembers when slim came in last night, he had a couple of saddlebags on his horse and there was cheese in one. so?
Going to the barn Ozark finds out the sheepherder's little brother the rat has found it and ate it all. ;D Delmonico follow and shoots the rat with his 22. "If that rat was as smart as the sheepherder said he was, why did he sit there and let me shoot him." ;D
Trinity, who is close behind, runs to the rat and searches him fer more cheese
Trinity cries as he sees the wasted contents of the rat's belly splattered all over the wall. Suddenly Trinity decides to try something new. He takes a cracker and dips it into the acidic, cheesy brew and eats. With a grimace, he throws the cracker down and returns to his jug on the porch and his frown.
Seeing this Del and Ozark throw up a little, they too go fer a drink, but they find a different jug
Delmonico kind of feels a tiny bit sorry for the sheepherder cause Delmonico shot his little brother, so Delmonico gets his phooney-graf from the barn and plays a tribute to the rat. ::)
Ben, the two of us need look no more
We both found what we were looking for
With a friend to call my own
I'll never be alone
And you my friend will see
Youve got a friend in me
(youve got a friend in me)
Ben, you're always running here and there
(here and there)
You feel youre not wanted anywhere
(anywhere)
If you ever look behind
And dont like what you find
Theres something you should know
Youve got a place to go
(youve got a place to go)
I used to say, I and me
Now its us, now its we
(I used to say, I and me)
(now its us, now its we)
Ben, most people would turn you away
I don't listen to a word they say
They don't see you as I do
I wish they would try to
Im sure theyd think again
If they had a friend like Ben
(a friend)
Like Ben
(like Ben)
Like Ben
Delmonico then tosses Ben into the burnin' barrel with a pitchfork tosses in the trash and lights a lucifer and drops it in. ;D
Tha rat version of Taps drifts across the dooryard as the lucifer catches and the flames grow higher.
Slim climbs done from the hayloft, and gathers eggs and milch. He takes 'em into the kitchen and starts breakfast. "Breakfast is ready!"
Delmonico says, everyone wash real good and make sure you don't have any fleas, rats can carry boob-bon-ick plauge. ::) If that sheep herder brings any more, shoot both of them. ;)
Slim washes out his warbags. ::)
after eating their fill, Del again sticks his head out the door and hollers fer Trinity.
Trinity looks up from his plate of eggs like a hungry wolf from a fresh kill. "Ah ain' ate sin' Ah trahd that dern rat cheese, whaddya wan'?"
I reckon he musta had him some of that red eye gravy, cause that one eye sure is glowing.
"Them aigs was good oncet Dail stopped botherin' me." ;D
ya didn't harm none of Slim's chickens when ya was getting them eggs did ya.
"Uhhh... naw, naw Ah din't. An' don' go lookin' in tha garbage pit, now."
Dern, now we gonna havta get some more chickens fer Slim, he done counted em before he took off fer parts unknown this weekend.
"Ah hope he di'n't count the unhatched ones!"
I don't think he counts his chickens before they're hatched, where have I heard that ??? ???
"Good, 'cause they's a few less this mornin'." ;D ;D
we might as well get a few more of the chickens and smoke em, we'll just light up the fire in the traction engine and add on a smoke chamber, Del ain't here anyways, he'll never know.
"May as well th'ow on a few of Stoney's pigs too. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!"
Trinity walks off to build the fire.
Ozark begins to rig up a smoker box on the side of the tractor big enough to hold a few pigs and several dozen chickens.
All of a sudden Trinity screams and jumps back as a huge tongue of flame leaps out at him. Trinity's clothing and hair are smoking as he says: "Ya reckon Ah used too much coal earl on tha wood?"
after rolling Trinity around the yard a time or two to put him out, Ozark closes the fire box door and soon the smoke starts coming through the smoker.
Sod Buster arrives at the Ranch with No Name with a BIRTHDAY preset for Trinity....a whole wagonload of sour mash whiskey!
Even tho' he and Trinity have never been formally introduced, Sod Buster enjoys his company.
Trinity and Ozark invite Sod Buster to stay awhile and enjoy the meat they are smoking. Trinity goes out and puts a couple of logs in the fire box.
Trinity runs okut and gets all the chickens and hogs outa the smoker and shuts off what he thinks is the air to the fire and runs back up to the house with supper.
Delmonico comes ridin' in from the south-east after hangin' round Mr. Elija Filleys barn all weekend, cooking for the corn huskers (note two words) and the threashin' crew. As he nears the ranch he hears a boom and chunks of metal, drumsticks and bacon shower down on him. ;D
Sodbuster and Ozark are sitting on the front porch when they hear the boom, one hog lands on the front porch and Trinity clears all the buildings by about 30 ft a heading fer the Dismal ;D
Irish hears the boom and looks out the winder in time to see a wheel from Del's Steam Tractor come flying by.
As Delmonico comes in from the south-east and Slim comes in from the north-east Trinity slips straight west on the Dismal, he knows he's gonna get in trouble big time. ;D
Slim reaches the ranch and looks at the mess. "Trinity was tryin' to cook agin I see." ::)
Sodbuster and Ozark carry the hog that landed on the porch into the kitchen table and get the potato's from the stove and Del whips up some biscuts and they all gather round to eat.
Trinity sneaks back into the house and in an effort to draw attention away from himself, he says:
"Why look! It's tha stranger from tha soddy!! Howdy thar stranger. How long you been hair? Ya gonna stay long? Oooooh! Is that thar wagonload of whiskey fer me? Thankee pard! MMMMMMMMMMM, MM!"
Trinity pours everybody a great big drink and hopes this dulls their memory
"Hair Sleeum. Have another one, Ah will." ;D
Slim drinks another shot and then starts talking about going to gather eggs.
Delmonico says, "don't walk, take The Steam Traction Engine. ::)
"T'ain' no need fer aigs, Sleeum. Hair, have another one!"
Slim takes another one, at least before going to gather eggs and feeding the chickens.
"Hair! Ya wanna have another one? Have another one!!!"
Quote from: Trinity on October 16, 2006, 07:33:13 PM
Trinity sneaks back into the house and in an effort to draw attention away from himself, he says:
"Why look! It's tha stranger from tha soddy!! Howdy thar stranger. How long you been hair? Ya gonna stay long? Oooooh! Is that thar wagonload of whiskey fer me? Thankee pard! MMMMMMMMMMM, MM!"
I'z been fine.
Yup, it is all fer you.
33 jugs - one for every year of your life!
I'll stay until my welcome is worn out.
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on October 16, 2006, 07:36:37 PM
Trinity pours everybody a great big drink and hopes this dulls their memory
I call this batch "MIND ERASER".
well when Trinity hears this mind eraser he pours Del and Slim a tea glass full and urges them to drink up
Delmonico says, "nope, I have to go order a new Steam Traction Engine. Slim do you want me to order you some new chickens." ;D
"just let me know I'll order them on my coal oil powered computor."
<Authors note for those new folks reading this thread who have not read the whole thread. Delmonico has a coal oil power computor hooked up to all four strands of the Barb Wire running around the ranch giving him a broadband connection. If you are interest in these fine products, the real Delmonico is also a dealer in them. Check out these websites.>
www.coaloilcomputor.com
www.barbwirebroadband.com
Slim looks over the selection of chickens on the coal oil computor and picks out several fancy breeds to order. known for their extra large egg production. and several standard breed known to be good fryers. and 2 extra fancy peacocks just fer show around the ranch.
Delmonico does not type in the number for the loud and obnoxious peacocks. ;D Saves him the trouble of shooting them.
"By the by, why do I need new chickens? My chickens were layin' just fine." ???
irish guides his wagon and team into the yard. He goes to the back of the wagon and levers off one of the big wheels from the Steam Tractor Engine and says, Hey Del I found this down by tha Dismal is it yours?
Then Irish looks at Slim, Yanno its a funny thing, as I was pullin in here I noticed some bags in tha bushes so I stop an looked in em and thought you might want these. Irish hands two bags full of bloody chiken feathers to Slim.
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on October 17, 2006, 09:57:16 AM
"By the by, why do I need new chickens? My chickens were layin' just fine." ???
well Slim ya see the key words in that sentence was
were laying now they just
laying around the country side after the splosion.
not mentioning the fact that they were cooked when they left so suddlenly.
and ain't it strange how them feathers got blowed inta the bags ??? ???
>:( >:( >:( >:( "Alright who dun it!" >:( >:( >:( >:( >:(
well lets see now, Trinity was a getting ready to go and plow the south 40 up and Sodbuster was gonna plant something. and the pressure got away from him and the chickens was standing too close and and and
Duke wanders in and give Ozark that "yer not tell the truth" look." ;D
Just at that moment, Trinity, who had been trying ta hide behing the barn, trips and falls out in plain sight,
Duke grabs him by the collar, shakes him and drops him at Slim's feet. ;D
"So, Duke, yer sayin', in yer own way, that Trinity dun away with ma chickens?"
aw I can't let ole Trinity take all the blame, I just figured that with everybody being out of pocket this weekend and missing ole Trinity's birthday, we'd just smoke up a bunch of food and have a party when yall got home, it woulda worked OK if'n Trinity hadn't thought the relief valve would shut off the fire.
Now ya know why Del doan let Trinity operate none a tha machinery. Heck Trinity blows up 10 stills fer every one he gits ta werkin.
"I guess I'll forgive ya this time." ::)
Delmonico heads to the kitchen with a sad look on his face, "dern, I thought Slim was gonna give Trinity a good whoopin. Guess the rumors of Slim bein' a pantywaist are true." ;D
with his chickens on order, Slim sets about rebuilding his chicken coop and pen. Trinity carries in a few new posts where the old ones were blown out by the explosion. Slim puts in more boxes fer the egss and rebuilds the door into the barn.
As the chickens head into the barn, the DJ starts to play the Chicken Dance. ;D
A shaft of sunlight coming in through the barn door catches the glitter ball that Trinity left in the corner. With the glittering reflections and the music Trinity iz mezmerized an starts to dancin.
suddenly Trinity remembers what happened the last time he was mezmerized by the light ball and walks over and stands in the corner.
everybody pitches in and rebuilds the end of Del's shop where the explosion knocked it off, they have enough lumber that they are able to enlarge the workshop for larger experiments.
Delmonico goes into his "New Improved Workshop" and closes the door. ;D
everybody relaxes on the porch, Ozark finds a full jug of Trinity's brew and passes it around.
Trinity comes out of the corner and out of the barn, and being upset about the dancing, he gets his bedroll out of the house and heads off down to the Dismal to camp out fer a few days and clear his mind.
oh yeah and finish off a few jugs of corn squeezings
Clatters n clangs are soon heard coming from Del's New and Improved Workshop.
Delmonico hauls some more coal in. ;D
Delmonico locks the shop and heads to the house, "fergot that durned Trinity blew up Steam Traction Engine #4, I got to get another one." He packs his carpet back, saddles Reuben and heads to Dunning. ;D
While Delmonico is gone to town, Ozark gathers up the pieces of the exploded steam tractor and constructs a smoker so Trinity can cook to his hearts content and not blow anything up.
of course this is Trinity cooking, so Ozark locates the smoker cooker a safe distance from the house and barn and builds a blast shield around it.
Trinity starts to gather Musk Thistles so he can smoke with pasture weeds just like they do down in Texas. ;D
with the fire going and the smoke a puffing, Trinity discovers there are no large chickens left only the baby chicks, nothing to cook, so he goes to the potted meat storage shed and opens a few cans of potted meat and shapes it into a chicken shape and puts it in to smoke.
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on October 21, 2006, 06:33:41 PM
with the fire going and the smoke a puffing, Trinity discovers there are no large chickens left only the baby chicks, nothing to cook, so he goes to the potted meat storage shed and opens a few cans of potted meat and shapes it into a chicken shape and puts it in to smoke.
after aboukt an hour, Trinity pulls out his spam chicken and carries it into the house and puts it on his plate and starts to eat.
The one hour smoking has leeched all of the moisture out of the potted meat, so Trinity's mock chicken is a bit crunchy as he eats it.
Tinity gets up halfway through his meal and gets him a tooth pick, seeing how the toothpick ain't working he gets out his knife to get the dried meat outa his teeth.
Trinity walks out on the porch and looks off in the distance toward Dunning to see if he see's any dust kicking up. thinking to hisself, Del ourta be a coming back fore long, maybe he'll do some cooking.
Trinity gets his jug and goes to the hammock.
Delmonico comes ridin' in from the east. ;D
Delmonico fries some pork chops for dinner along with some cabbage. "My new Steam Traction Engine will be here in a few days, the dealer in Dunning is sending it out." He then goes to the workshop. ;D
With a little extra time to eat the pork chops, while Trinity is still trying to get the smoked potted meat outa his teeth, Ozark enjoys a pork chop with lots of cabbage, knowing Trinity won't eat his share of the cabbage anyway.
The rest of the group has some pork chops n then decides to play a little joke on Trinity. They pile all of the cabbage on top of the remaining pork chops. Trinity enters having cleared his teeth of the smoked potted meat. he ask what Del made to eat, the group point to the heaping pile of cabbage.
Delmonico comes up from the workshop to use the Wedgewood room, "Eat some of that fried cabbage, it will make a regular person out of ya." ;D
Trinity starts ta tell how he is a regular person, eats a little, drinks a little, Del tells him that ain't what he meant by regular,
just eat some of that cabbage and see how regular ya get.
Fried cabbage is almost as good as castor oil. ;D
Trinity finds a long handled wooden spoon and with it starts digging in the cabbage to see if anything else might be in the pile
Taking a deep breath, Trinity sorts throug the smells. Poop, poop, poop, MEAT! "They's meat unner that durn green stuff!" Trinity starts digging but is immedeatly disappointed to find that the pork is now marinated in cabbage drippings. Dejected and with a sad frown, Trinity mopes off to his room.
Climbing the steps, he passes Slim and thanks him for forgiving him. Then he asks when the new chickens are due.
with Trinity halfway up the stairs he rememebers he fergot his jug down ta the kitchen, he goes back down and fetches his jug, going by the pork chops once more he gets just a little hunk to taste it.
"Blech!!" Trinity begins vomiting all over the kitchen as the poison trickles down into his tast buds.
with the awfkul taste of cabbage in his mouth, Trinity lifts up the jug and takes a big swig to wash out the memory.
As he finish his swallow from the jug Del is there to hand him a bucket and mop. He tells Trinity to clean up his mess or he'll get no more food from Del's kitchen.
Quote from: Trinity on October 25, 2006, 06:52:34 PM
Climbing the steps, he passes Slim and thanks him for forgiving him. Then he asks when the new chickens are due.
"They should be arrivin' today. Now, these chickens ain't fer eatin'. They'z fer layin' eggs!" >:(
after Slim's chickens arrive during the afternoon, Trinity gets a bucket and goes out to check for eggs. he looks around the chicken yard and see's nothing, going into the chicken house baby chickens sukrrond his feet. he bends down and looks the babies over, takes his bucket back into the house and tells Slim not to get too excited about getting any eggs soon.
Most likey won't see no eggs till spring, unless Slim hooks up lights and a heater in the chicken coop. ::)
Delmonico goes and orders a couple of cases of eggs. ;D
Trinity goes out to the storage shed and looks over his supply of potted meat, counting the cans, he scratches the number on the wall and comes back to the house.
Slim and Tom look in tha storage shed before Trinity closes the door, they see hundreds and hundreds of cans of potted meat piled up, but Trinity scratches 11 into the wall. They follow Trinity into the house and Slim asks Trinity why he scratched eleven into the wall of tha shed. Trinity replies I didn't Sleeeum ah scratched a two into tha wall cuz I gots two piles a cans. That means I got ta git some more afore Winter cuz thet aint gonna last me, need at least six piles, last Winter ah had five piles an had ta ration mahself ta twelve cans a day fer tha last week afore thaw.
Trinity goes in and gets on the coaloil computer and finds a potted meat company that delivers and makes out his order and tells them to send 1111 more piles of potted meat. now that's 4 by Trinity's count.
"Ah shore is glad Ah got that done. Don' wanna go tha win'er wifout food. Now, Ah kin go ask Sleeum if'n we kin frah a couple of them little birds up. They shore is cute... it makes me hongry"
Trinity takes an 8 inch cast iron skillet out to the chicken house and looks around at the chicks to pick out a big one, he grabs the biggest one and holds him up to the skillet after seeing how small the chicken is he puts him back down and pats his little head and tells him he's to little to waste the oil and flour on.
Then Trinity fondly remembers how he liked to fry the whole thing last year. Just pop them into the fryer and then into his mouth.
Looking again at the little fellow that he just set down, he realizes that he's just too cute, so Trinity names him litl chicky and sends him on his way.
In the kitchen, Trinity rummages through the ice box and finds an old, moldy wheel of cheese to eat.
Trinity trims okff the fuzzy parts of the wheel and sits the cheese on his plate and gets some saltines out of the cabinet. Monkey comes in sees Trinity sad and goes out to the barn loft and brings him back a few bananas that he had hid out.
"Thanks Monkey! They ain' nothin' lahk 'nanners an' ol' cheese." Trinity takes the bananas and alternates bites out of the banana and cheese.
Unfortunately Trinity misses cuttin off some of the moldy parts an soon he starts to hallucimanating
Trinity thinks he sees a whole ham hanging on the wall in the kitchen, he grabs it and starts chewing, after about 10 minutes he realizes he just chewed up Slim's war bags.
Sod Buster walks into his barn after being on a trip for a few weeks and is stunned by the vision of what is hanging above him.
What is that and where did it come from????
All the fellars come take a look and agree it must be a gift to Sodbuster from heaven. fer a trying to straighten them thar Yankees out. one of them new fangled farming rigs.
they just wonder how he's gonna get it down ta the ground
After realizing that he has Slims war bags in his mouth, Trinity was relieved for he thought that Del had overcooked a ham. After unsuccessfully looking around for something else to eat, Trinity returns to the war bags.
"Done softened 'em up a mite. Just a bit more chewin' an' they'll be right palatable."
Quote from: Trinity on October 29, 2006, 01:05:42 AM
After realizing that he has Slims war bags in his mouth, Trinity was relieved for he thought that Del had overcooked a ham. After unsuccessfully looking around for something else to eat, Trinity returns to the war bags.
"Done softened 'em up a mite. Just a bit more chewin' an' they'll be right palatable."
ya know tomorrow Slim's gonna come out here ta check his chickens and he always checks on his war bags while he's out here, maybe ya can make him some new ones.
Trinity takes the hard rind of the cheese and stitches it together to resemble Slim's saddlebags (Well sort of) and hangs them on their post in the barn.
well yeah that'll work ;D ;D
if'n we poke him in the eye afore he gets here. :o
"Ok, yer in charge of that. Ah'm gonna work on keepin' tha rats outta tha barn tonight. TC, whar is ya!??"
Stealth photo of TC
"What's that rat doin' ta mah cat!?? Dad-burn it, TC, git away from that critter. Show 'im her fangs, skeer 'im off!"
looks like there may have been some catnip changing hands, er paws there
Delmonico goes to his workshop and closes the door. :o
Delmonico, comes back out the door and looks over at Slim's warbags and thinks to hisself, Slim's gonna havta get him a new set of bags.
Delmonico goes and gets some coal and some iron plates from one of the blowed up Steam Traction Engines, he heads to the work shop. ;D
Trinity and Ozark, sittting on the porch watch Del go into the work shop with all the iron and coal and start guessing at what he's a building now.
Trintiy guesses a coal fired, iron griddle fer cooking
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on October 29, 2006, 07:17:47 PM
Stealth photo of TC
;D
The next thing Ya know You'll be sucking up to Sheep. ;D
:o
;D :D ;D
Delmonico hangs up an exact replica of Slim's warbag, hammered out of iron to prevent Trinity from eatin' them again. ;D ::)
Slim goes out ta gather eggs and milch. He glances at his warbags. Fer some reason they look a bit different, so he takes them down ta git a closer look. Since the iron warbags are MUCH heavier than his leather ones, he drops them on his foot.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!
Trinity pokes Slim in the eye. ;D
Slim grabs his preheated branding iron and chases Trinity. ;D
Blind in one eye and hopping on one foot Slim trips over the iron warbags and bangs his head on the side of the Barn.
As Slim lays by the barn stunned, a noise is heard to the east and in a cloud of smoke, Delmonico's new Steam Traction Engine drives into view. ;D
with Trinity running just ahead of it, trying to stay of the way.
Slim regains his bearings and yells, "Run 'im o'er!!!" ;D ;D ;D ;D
being as Trinity has been drinking a little :o he zigs when the steam engine zags and it misses his by inches and he passes out.
"BUMMER!!!!" ;D
Slim takes his branding iron and hobbles out ta where Trinity is passed out, he sticks the iron to him, but because Slim was crippled and it took awhile to get there, the heat is all gone from his iron.
Then the guy delivering The Steam Traction Engine backs up to see what he almost hit and runs over Trinity. ::)
"YEEEEEEEE HAW!!!!!!" ;D
Trinity is now 1 inch thick and 14 1/2 feet long. ;D
a big wind comes along and blows Trinity up against the barn wall.
Trinity catches another breeze and is blown onto the porch where he is able to knock his bottle over and starts slurping on some medicine. After a while Trinity has regained his normal size and he stands.
Angrily, he shouts: "Now jus' wait one gosh-dern, cotton pickin' minute! Ah din' never poke Sleeeum in tha ah! Ah wouldn' never do such a thang... leastways not on purpose. AN' FUHTHUHMAW! Ah di'n't make no saddlebaigs outta arn. Twern't me Ah tail ya. Ah'll fergive ya, Sleeeum, fer trahin' ta braind me, but please don' do it agin."
Trinity throws his jug on his shoulder and takes one more swallow in an exclamatory fashion.
Delmonico says,"If Trinity hadn't ate ye'r war bags I would have had to make iron ones. And if you take them with you on the weekend, Trinity won't eat them, so once again it's yer fault." ;D
"Once ya put it that way, I figger it is my fault that Trinity et my warbags and poked my eye." ::) ::) ::) ::)
Trinity rigs an eye patch outa some of Slim's old warbags and gives it to Slim to cover his poked eye.
Unfortunately whilst Trinity is putting the eye patch on Slim he accidentally pokes him in the other eye! :o
"OUCH!!!" :o
Trinity makes another patch. ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on October 31, 2006, 05:18:46 PM
Trinity makes another patch. ;D
and gives Slim a broken limb from a tree, Slim proceeds to beat Trinity with the limb.
;D ;D ;D ;D
Delmonico heads towards the barn scratching his chin. "Wonder if I could invent some dark coloured glasses to keep the sun out of Slim's poked eyes?"
Del decides to make the glasses out of the bottoms of a couple of old brown bottles out in the barn.
Slim puts the glasses on and the sun is blocked from his eyes but the glass is kinda wavy and Slim goes goose stepping out across the yard.
Not to mention that Del didn't sand the glass enough so now Slim has bloody red circles around his eyes.
Meanwhile, Trinity is shouting: "Ah'm sorry fer pokin' yer other ah, but Ah swayer.... Ah din' poke tha fust one, OK? Sleeeeum? Sleeum, your ahs is a-bleedin'! Is ya awlraht??"
Slim turns around and starts talking to the scare crow in the garden, thinking he knows him, with his new glasses
The blood begins to dry and now Slim has a crust around his eyes. A lone vulture in the sky picks up the scent of blood and swoops down.
The vulture grabs aholt of Slim and tries to fly back in the air, Slims starts swattin him with his cane.
Hearing the struggle, two more vultures appear.
one of the vultures grabs holt a Slims legs and the other grabs an ear
Duke the Yaller dog chases the vultures away and leads Slim around. ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on November 02, 2006, 09:55:34 PM
Duke the Yaller dog chases the vultures away and leads Slim around. ;D
while walking around the barn, Duke strikes a hot trail and heads out across the country,
with Slim in tow behind.
Slim is dragged through the cacti and sandburrs. ::)
Slim becomes Cactus Man.
(http://tn3-2.deviantart.com/fs6/300W/i/2005/040/a/9/Brand_the_Cactus_Man_by_CactusMan.jpg)
Oops! wrong picture.
(http://www.nastystart.org/images/news/odilonredon11052003.jpg)
since Slim can't see too good, Slim and Ozark take turns picking out the cacti spurs with a pair of pliers.
Trinity feels sorry for what happened and tries to help, but just ends up pushin' the thorns in deeper. ;D
Trinity decides to make this go a little faster he will just take the scissors and trim the thorns off even with Slims hide.
Delmonico says, "don't, they dull the sissors." ::) He gets out a lucifer and lights them, they burn down even. :o ::)
when the fire starts up, Trinity goes running across the yard with the scissors.
Some guy with a bass fiddle rides by and sees Slim all full of cacti thorns. He says, "here you deserve this." ;D
Trinity dials up on the Coal Oil Computer and places an order for seven ties for Slim, one for each day of the week. Trinity hopes that Slim will be fogiving. Then, remembering the look of Slims hide after Delmonico began using the lucifers, Trinity orders several jars of salve.
Quote from: Trinity on November 04, 2006, 04:38:00 PM
Then, remembering the look of Slims hide after Delmonico began using the lucifers, Trinity orders several jars of salve.
I always prefered Bag Balm:
http://www.bagbalm.com/
<<I have a tin of that stuff in the medicine cabinet. I get really dry feet in the winter and someone suggested that. I have yet to try it... there've been no complaints lately.>>
ya can put that on yer feet and preperation H on yer face, cuts down on wrinkles :o :o
<<I'm not concerned with wrinkles. I'm a man, wrinkles are cool. ;D ;D>>
Quote from: Trinity on November 04, 2006, 07:22:23 PM
<<I have a tin of that stuff in the medicine cabinet. I get really dry feet in the winter and someone suggested that. I have yet to try it... there've been no complaints lately.>>
Helps soothe bruised, sore or injured teats.....er I mean feets ;D
well now it does say that right on the can. ;D
I got a big crack in my left heel, gonna go upstairs and find the can of bullet lube/ skin lotion in my gun/sewing room. Pack er full for the night and soak in the tub in the mornin' and scrape it down with my pocket knife. Had a guy at work one tim that I had to explain teat to. ;D
<<I had a sore teat once. Then I took the ring out and it got better.>>
See that's what ya get when ya let Sherlene clip that ring in there
"Sherlene shore does lahk that strange stuff. Ah reckon it's 'cause of her fohmah occupation."
Man my heel feels much better, kinda handy havin' a bullet lube that works great with black and makes a good skin softner and lip balm, will even waterproof yer boots. ;D
I bet she done seen that in one of them big citys she'd been to, like up there to Sibley
Quote from: Delmonico on November 05, 2006, 11:19:08 AM
Man my heel feels much better, kinda handy havin' a bullet lube that works great with black and makes a good skin softner and lip balm, will even waterproof yer boots. ;D
I always used to use my belt sander, just don't get too aggressive
"Ol' Sherlene done tolt me some of tha thangs she learnt in Sibley. Ah say NO WAY! T'ain' nooo way! Sometahms Ah thank she jus' maht be a little on tha fast side."
I've heared some terrible tales about them fast women down thar in Little Rock, why they smoke sometimes
"Sherlene kin roll her own with two fangers. Ah tolt her she orta quit, but she promised she wouldn' drop no ashes in tha food no more whilst cookin'."
welll at least she is neat now. :o
"An' tha food tastes so much better!"
I can remember years ago going into roadside dinners and seeing the guy doing the cooking, (the chef) bing back there smoking a cigareet while he was a cooking yer meal. >:( :o
:P :P :P :P
<<I've worked in nice restaurants where the customers couldn't see the chefs and they were doing the same thing. The new trend of having the kitchen out in the open is a great thing!!>>
That has happened, I'm sure more than ya know, it is a lot nicer when they are out in the open, see what he looks like and what he's doing while cooking.
My wife used to try to get me to go to this Japanese eatin' place called Shogun or Shotgun, don't 'member, everyone thinks it's great cause the cook at the table. ??? My self if I want to watch someone cook, I'll stay home and watch me cook. ::) "sides that I ain't eatin' and no damned expensive Resteraunt that is to damn cheap to put in a kitchen. ::)
Quote from: Trinity on November 05, 2006, 11:56:30 AM
"Sherlene kin roll her own with two fangers...
Yeah but can she tie a cherry stem into a knot with her tongue?
Quote from: Sod Buster on November 05, 2006, 05:45:02 PM
Yeah but can she tie a cherry stem into a knot with her tongue?
do ya want a bow tied knot or a square knot.
<<So can I. And I have yet to inpress the ladies with that skill. ::)>>
Quote from: Delmonico on November 05, 2006, 01:39:34 PM
My wife used to try to get me to go to this Japanese eatin' place called Shogun or Shotgun, don't 'member, everyone thinks it's great cause the cook at the table. ??? My self if I want to watch someone cook, I'll stay home and watch me cook. ::) "sides that I ain't eatin' and no damned expensive Resteraunt that is to damn cheap to put in a kitchen. ::)
<<I love those places. I can make sure that the vegetibles don't touch my meat at all during the cooking process! However, we are not talking about the Teppanyaki (japanese steakhouse) style. Instead we are talking about how modern restaurants (not Golden Corral) are placing the kitchens out in the open so that people can see who is preparing their food and feel more at ease.>>
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on November 05, 2006, 06:02:33 PM
do ya want a bow tied knot or a square knot.
<<If she can tie a noose, then I'm marrying her!>>
Quote from: Trinity on November 05, 2006, 06:07:26 PM
<<So can I. And I have yet to inpress the ladies with that skill. ::)>>
<<I love those places. I can make sure that the vegetibles don't touch my meat at all during the cooking process! However, we are not talking about the Teppanyaki (japanese steakhouse) style. Instead we are talking about how modern restaurants (not Golden Corral) are placing the kitchens out in the open so that people can see who is preparing their food and feel more at ease.>>
I used ta go to this little bitty Chinaneese place, it was so small they had to cook almost in front of ya, it was about the best place to go in town, they only had about 10 seats in there.
I like to go to the chinese place. I have to be careful what I order, but when they make it how I request it is GOOOOOOOOD! However, I'd better not have anything else planned for the evening. ::)
Quote from: Trinity on November 05, 2006, 06:14:08 PM
However, I'd better not have anything else planned for the evening. ::)
Why's that?? Do you spend the evening eating????
or does it cause Intestinal Distress?? ::)
well he does have to have a llittle snack every hour on the hour.
Sadly, as I get older more and more things cause the latter. I think the super sweet sauce on the Sesame Chicken might be the cause because when I order something else I have less trouble. But... it's like the chili-cheese thickburger at Hardee's. I shouldn't, but it is so good that I will. Oh well.
Quote from: Trinity on November 05, 2006, 06:07:26 PM
<<I love those places. I can make sure that the vegetibles don't touch my meat at all during the cooking process! However, we are not talking about the Teppanyaki (japanese steakhouse) style. Instead we are talking about how modern restaurants (not Golden Corral) are placing the kitchens out in the open so that people can see who is preparing their food and feel more at ease.>>
Hah, if they could see what happens to their food before the resteraunt, they wouldn't worry much about what the cook does. Nope if I have to watch the cook I'll cook it myself. Went to some fancy place with Rita a few months ago, they had a big glass wall so you could see their brewry vats. ::) I told Rita when we got seated, I didn't expect much, the place was so cheap the wouldn't even buy beer. ;D
Anyway the had a whole damned book about the different beers they brewed up, their menu pointed out they only served Angus Beef, everything else they had of course they said was the best in the world and had long descriptions. Well I ended up with a fair but not exceptional cheese burger for about the price I could have fed 4-5 at home, and hell I can get better burger in most small town meat lockers. ::)
Quote from: Sod Buster on November 04, 2006, 07:13:33 PM
I always prefered Bag Balm:
http://www.bagbalm.com/
<I use: http://www.uddercream.com/
When the kid's eczema gets really bad in the winter, we tallow them. Thanks, Del. ;D>
Udderly fantastic
Slim goes out to milk the cow and gather eggs, but walks into the side of the barn and is knocked unconscious.
Duke sees Slim fall and runs to mark him as his own territory. ;D
when the liquid hits Slim in the face, he immediately wakes up and sees what is going on, he passes out again
After markin' Slim, Duke goes over a ways and poops, this gives Delmonico an idea and he heads to the workshop and locks the door. :o ???
Quote from: Delmonico on November 07, 2006, 11:07:31 PM
After markin' Slim, Duke goes over a ways and poops, this gives Delmonico an idea and he heads to the workshop and locks the door. :o ???
:o
Oh, Oh! look out, Who Flung Poo? :o
:P :P :P :P
Dilious Dell is at it again ???
:o
:P :P :P :P
;D :D ;D
(http://pooh.ms11.net/images/pk.gif)
:o :o :o :o
Trinity sneaks out the back door with his cllub, knowing that pooH sometimes packs a jar of honey with him.
Trinity intends more to find the person who flung Whinnie the Pooh. >:( Halfway into the yard, he beings to wonder if maybe nobody flung Pooh, but instead a Chinaman was announcing himself. He starts to call out. "Hu Flun Pu! Hu Flun Pu, is ya 'roun' hair??"
with Trinity a wandering around the yard hollering Hu Flun Pu, Tigger waits just behind the old oak tree for him to come around.
Suddenly, Trinity's stomach rumbles and all wildlife within sixty yards, including Tigger, dart for cover.
when the rumble occurs, everyone in the house thinks it is a small earthquake and runs outside.
Delmonico roars out of the barn with The Steam Traction Engine with a front end loader on it. "How do you like my Pooper Scooper? ;D
Del scoops up all the poop in about a minute, since he has it running, he works up the garden plot to let it season over the winter.
With Slim gone for the weekend Delmonico says sumthin' about a surprise fer Slim and heads to the workshop. ;D
With Del gone inta the workshop, Ozark leans back in the chair in the kitchen and throws a few more logs into the oven to help keep the house warm. and fetches a jug from the shelf to help keep him a little warmer.
Strange noises and black smoke come from the workshop. ;D
Ozark peeks out the kitchen winder, with all that black smoke coming outa of the wookshop, Del must'a built himself up a good fire to keep warm.
Green flames suddenly come out of the chim-bly. ;D
Trinity sits back in his chair at the fire with his jug and mentions to Ozark: "Ah wonner what done happent ta that chinaman. Ah wan' me some Poke Frahd Rahs."
Slim rides in from the northeast with his warbags full.
Delmonico is still locked in the workshop. ;D
Trinity runs up to help Slim with his warbags.
Slim grabs his warbags back from Trinity, but lets him have them when Trinity promises not to Gnaw these up.
"Thankee Sleeum. Say, on yer way in, didja see a chinaman?" Trinity looks in the bags and with wide eyes and a broad smile, he walks a little more quickly to the house.
As Trinity walks up on the porch, Ozark says, What'ch got it the bag Trinity?
"Aw, jus some wormy ol' apples. Ya don' even wanna see theeeum." Trinity sidles past Ozark into the kitchen.
Slim comes walking up to the house a carrying another set of warbags, who wants a little Wisconsin cheese, I gave Trintiy a fake bag, it's got a few goodies on top of some old wormy apples.
Slim and Ozark start eating the goodies Slim has returned with.
Trinity walks up to the table with his head down. "Kin Ah have some Chaze. Ah done et awl tha good stuff an' foun' tha real wormy apples. :("
Slim digs down in the warbag and brings out a bag of hard candies, he tells Trinty, this bag is specially fer him.
Slim whispers, it should take him a little while to eat those, they new, call'em jaw breakers.
Trinity tosses a handful in his mouth then takes a swallow of recipe and the jawbreakers melt in his mouth. Trinity looks across tha table and says there aint much to these Sleeeum!
"Nope, theeum weren't quot eeenuf fer ta satifah mah honger." Trinity reaches for a small, wax covered wheel of cheese. "Theeus looks good, Thankee." Trinity begins eating, wax and all.
Trinity then eats Slim's Fish Slicker. ::)
Picking his teeth with his pocket knife, Trinity tells Slim, he probably ourta buy these last things he are at a better store, It were kinda stale.
(http://www.wwmerc.com/mas_assets/full/8123PS.jpg)
"Tha yaller parts weren' bad, but theeyum buttons is gonna hurt later." :o
Trinity eats a couple blocks more cheese to cushion the buttons on their trip.
"Maw cushion fer tha pushin', Ah always say."
After Trinity eats the last of the cheese, he starts looking for Del, to see when he might cook supper and what it might be.
Delmonico ain't there though, he's still out in the workshop workin' on Slim's surprise. ;D
Trinity winds up down to the shop door and knocking on it. he tries ta fool Delmonico by knocking on the dooor and saying Jehova's witness.
Suddenly Trinity gets some Intestinal Distress from all of the cheese he ate. He bends over as he starts to cramp up.
Hearin' the noise outside his workshop, Delmonico checks to see what it is. He quickly grabs a funnel and a pint of castor oil and pours it down Trinty. Trinity runs to the Dismal with cheese shootin' out like a Gatlin' gun. ;D
(Sorry, it's just been a while since I did the castor oil thing and it was such a good chance.) ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on November 15, 2006, 06:44:20 PM
Hearin' the noise outside his workshop, Delmonico checks to see what it is. He quickly grabs a funnel and a pint of castor oil and pours it down Trinty. Trinity runs to the Dismal with cheese shootin' out like a Gatlin' gun. ;D
(Sorry, it's just been a while since I did the castor oil thing and it was such a good chance.) ;D
:o
Marshal N Da Sheep seeing Dell has "Nothing New" Klocks Dell over His head with a Dutch Oven lid, while Dell is dizzy, Marshal slips Dells Boomerang shell into the Mighty 10ga. :o
Dell comes to N shoots at Marshal N Da Sheep, but hits Himself in da (Censored). Yeooow! Yellls Dell. :o
Marshall N Sheep get away. :D
heh, Heh, HEH! ;D
::)
8)
Not even botherin' to read the sheep herders post, Delmonico goes back to his workshop.
Slim orders a Fish slicker from the Fort. The little brown stage coach arrives with it. Slim hides it so Trinity don't eat it. ::)
with help from Del, Trinity has got his system cleaned out like when it was new, so he starts anew with potted meat and cheese and crackers, trying to get it filled back up.
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on November 16, 2006, 10:24:48 AM
Slim orders a Fish slicker from the Fort. The little brown stage coach arrives with it. Slim hides it so Trinity don't eat it. ::)
Munching happily on potted meat and white bread, Trinity notices Slim eyeing him as he unpacks his package from the Fort. To Slim's glare Trinity responds: "T'ain' no need ta worry. Don' taste lahk much no-hows. Ah ain' gonna ate another one!" ;D
Just to make sure his slicker is safe, slim scrambles up all the eggs in the cooler and frys up a few pounds of bacon to hold Trinity through the night.
Delmonico has Slim come to the roof of the barn to see his surprise, he hands it to Slim and gives him a shove.
As Slim floats thru the air, he is heard singing the following song. ;D
Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life
End over end neither left nor to right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life.
Make me, oh make me, Lord more than I am
Make me a piece in your master game plan
Free from the earthly tempestion below
I've got the will, Lord if you've got the toe.
Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life
End over end neither left nor to right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life.
Take all the brothers who've gone on before
And all of the sisters who've knocked on your door
All the departed dear loved ones of mine
Stick'em up front in the offensive line.
Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life
End over end neither left nor to right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life.
Yeah, Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life
End over end neither left nor to right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life.
http://bertc.com/18Track18ah.mp3
<Arthur's note: A co-verker asked me to Google the song for her this morn.>
I member it well, back from the 70's along with many other good ones. ;D
They put Geronimo in jail down South
Where he couldn't look a gift horse in the mouth
Sergeant, Sergeant don't you feel
There's something wrong with your automobile
Warden, Warden, listen to me
Be brave and set Geronimo free
Governor, Governor, 'aint it strange
You never see a car on the Indian range
Oh boys take me back
I wanna ride in Geronimo's Cadillac
Oh boys I wanna see it for real
I wanna ride in Geronimo's automobile
Take me, take me, take me back
I wanna ride in Geronimo's [Cadillac]
Warden, Warden, don't you know
The prisoners 'aint got no place to go
It took ol'Geronimo by storm
They took the badges from his uniform
Jesus told me and I believe it's true
The redmen are in the sunset too
They stole their land and they won't give it back
And they sent Geronimo a Cadillac
Oh boys take me back
I wanna ride in Geronimo's Cadillac
Oh boys I wanna see it for real
I wanna ride in Geronimo's automobile
Take me, take me, take me back
I wanna ride in Geronimo's [Cadillac]
They put Geronimo in jail down South
Where he couldn't look a gift horse in a mouth
Sergeant, Sergeant don't you feel
There's something wrong with your automobile
Warden, Warden, listen to me
Be brave and set Geronimo free
Governor, Governor, 'aint it strange
You never see a car on the Indian range
Oh boys take me back
I wanna ride in Geronimo's Cadillac
Oh boys I wanna see it for real
I wanna ride in Geronimo's automobile
Take me, take me, take me back
I wanna ride in Geronimo's Cadillac
<Written by Michel Murphy before he discovered his middle name was Micheal. Inspired by the piture taken in 1906 of Geronimo sittin' in a 1 cylinder, chair drive Caddy.?>
As Slim sails over the house again, he makes a hooting sound, Trinity awakens with a start, seeing the flying contraption a flying over, he runs in the house and grabs the mighty 10 and cuts loose shooting, all the while hollering,
Del, get the pot ready, I done shot a great big bird.
Trinity sends Duke out to fetch the bird. On the porchTrinity is salivating and wondering what a multicolored bird is going to taste like. "It shore is takin' a whal. Ah hope he ain' foun' no more lady friends!"
Slim comes a hobbling in from the south a using a branch as a crutch, Trinity asks him if he seen Duke anywhere out there, a fetching a bird.
Slim doesn't look very happy at the moment, so Trinity explains about the big bird and the wonderful meal they are all going to have. It doesn't seem to cheer him up any.
you mean you just now shot a big bird outa the sky, did it happen to look like it was a carrying somebody,
:o"Come ta thank of it, it deeud. It were carryin' a body! Ah wonner if'n that person were alahve."
with all the strength he has left, Slim pops Trinity on top of the head, that was me a flying up there, he tries to splain to Trinity,
;D
"Ow, Sleeeum! Yer gittin a might agressive of late. What's all this tawlkin' 'bout bein' a passenger on a bird. Y'ain' been drankin' that peyote tea agin, have ya?"
Trinity decides to go along with Slim's story to keep from getting whopped again
sure Slim I seen ya up there a flying with that big bird, did ya catch any of them firld mice ta eat.
"No, just a load o' buckshot!" >:(
well Slim it's a good thing I shot up there and caused that thing to let go of ya, Trinity tries to splain how he done good with the shotgun. ;D
Delmonico says, "yes he did good, that thing would have taken Slim back to it's nest and fed hi to it's young 'uns." ;D
Everybody at the ranch agrees that Trinity did the right thing, Slim ends up apoligizing to Trintiy, then as Trinity is walking over to the porch, he remembers, Trinity shot him down.
Hearing Slim's thoughts, Trinity shouts out: "Naw Ah di'n't! Ah deeud no such thang."
Slim grabs the "Mighty Ten". ;D :o
The big bird swoops down and grabs Slim again and he drops the Mighty 10 as he's carried away. ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on November 21, 2006, 11:44:32 AM
The big bird swoops down and grabs Slim again and he drops the Mighty 10 as he's carried away. ;D
Sod Buster readys his Potato Gun. ::)
Sod Buster puts in to heavy of a charge and Slim gets hit with Tator Tots. ::)
Trinity sees the tator tots falling and starts running around trying to catch as many as he can in his mouth, before trying to catch the rest in his hat.
"Ah loooooooooove me some tater tots! Specially wif cheese!" Trinity shouts as he grabs a pail to catch more as they fall to the earth.
Running low on spuds, Sod Buster switches to Broccoli Bites!
Trinity keeps running around a singing,
tater tots keep falling on ma head,
Delmonico runs to the root cellar and brings Sodbuster a bushel of turnips. ;D
Trinity keeps catching everything in his mouth and swallowing without tasting, he has eaten a bushel of Broccoli and turnips.
Nope! That would never happen! NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/puke3.gif)(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/puke3.gif)(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/puke3.gif)(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/puke3.gif)
;D
The Gas Preasure builds, :o Thrinty Bloates, flotes up into the sky like a Big Red Ballon. :o ;D :o
Dell grabs the Mighty 10 N Nicks Trinity releasing the gas,
unfortunatly Slim was just liting up a Big Cigar, No Slim!
:o
KaBooommmmmmm
;D
On this eve of the Turkey Day celebration, Sod Buster rides into the yard of the Ranch with No Name and delivers some Wild Turkeys:
Slim wishes he weren't soarin' so he could shoot some wild turkeys. ::)
Quote from: Sod Buster on November 22, 2006, 04:59:30 PM
On this eve of the Turkey Day celebration, Sod Buster rides into the yard of the Ranch with No Name and delivers some Wild Turkeys:
Ozark gets his turkey call out and gobbles a few times to see if he can get some of the wild turkey over his way.
Slim is last seen flyin' North-West toward Wissy-con-sion. Delmonico is so glad that Slim likes it that he heads for the workshop to make him another surprise. ;D
with a little of the wild Turkey in a glass, the boys at the ranch, sit and wave to Slim as he flys into the distance.
hope he has a good time on his trip. ;D
Sod Buster returns to the Ranch on Turkey Day bearing gifts:
A Pecan Pie, a Sweet Potato Pie, and some Chesnut and Cranberry Stuffing.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING ALL!!
the day after Thanksgiving, the turkey, stuffing and pies, finally wearing off, everybody is up and looking for more food.
litl' rooster rides in the yard of the Ranch with No Name. Ties his horse to the rail, Carefull unrolls a mat of Grass, root side down. Then takes his soap box from the saddle and places it upside down near the mat. With bumper stickers and lapel pins in hand litl' rooster stands upon the soap box and begins speaking. Soon a crowd gathers, he now able to voice his ideals the future.
The boys at the ranch gather around, well look younder it's litl rooster, he done went off and become famous, and now he's a running fer president.
and look there he done brought his own grass with him
let's go over and shake his hand, I know he'll do good.
As the crowd is shakin' hands with litl rooster a freight wagon pulls up. A large spool of steel cable is un-loaded and taken to Delmonico's workshop. ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on November 22, 2006, 06:36:11 PM
Slim is last seen flyin' North-West toward Wissy-con-sion. Delmonico is so glad that Slim likes it that he heads for the workshop to make him another surprise. ;D
Slim flies in from the South-east and crash lands in the dooryard. :o
Delmonico starts to string the steel cable from the barn roof to a cottonwood tree down along the Dismal. ??? ::) ;D
Slim picks hisself up from the crash and begins to carry his warbags full of cheese to the kitchen. the birds begin to find the cable and start landing on it.
Delmonico ties a stick to Slim's head and a piece of cheese on a string to that. He takes Slim to the barn roof, hands him a pole and puts his at the end of the cable. Slim starts to the Cottonwood tree trying to get the cheese. ;D
the boys at the ranch sit on the porch and watch Slim walking along under the cable a scareing the crows off, then they start taking bets as to where he'll end up if his cheese lasts long enough,
Trinity starts running after Slim. "Ah'l hailp ya git that cheese!"
Seeing Trinity running towards him, Slim runs faster away and Trinity follows.
with Trinity hot on the trail, new bets are placed on how far and where Slim will wind up.
Very quickly they are both floatin' down the Dismal. ;D
:o "Naaaaawwwww!!!! Don' let it git to tha excrement tube!!!!"
Suddenly Ozark flushes the Water Closet in the Wedgewood room and Trinity and slim are in deep poop. ::)
Slim picks out a board floating by and surfs on down the river.
No that's not a board, a log yes. Durn Ozark, what have you been eatin'? ::)
musta been them little bitty hogs, I think they'd been eating toadstools. :o :o
While Ozark is hanging onto an oversized log, Trinity's eyes catch something gleaming in the sediment.
(Note, reread, Slim is hangin' onto the log that Ozark flushed.)
Delmonico sees Trinity reachin' for a ring and shoots right by his hand, Trinity pulls his hand back and floats around the bend. ;D Delmonico gets a stick and gets the ring and takes it away.
(We can't let Trinity do that one again.)
"Dernit, that hurt! :o Oh nooooooo! What happent to that rang. Dagnabbit!"
Trinity stares with squinted eyes after the log as it rounds the bend. "Now, jes' who is that yonder on tha lawg?"
with his eye open wide, a tiny little brown log pokes it. or was that a log ??? :o :o
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on November 30, 2006, 09:17:37 PM
with his eye open wide, a tiny little brown log pokes it. or was that a log ??? :o :o
"If it were 'posed ta be a lawg, it were mighty strange lookin' indeed!"
when he can see again he looks back down river and looks again for the fellar on the log. but the current is pulling him along pretty fast.
Trinity tires of trying to catch up with Slim, so he exits the river and mopes back to the house where someone has set up a Christmas tree. Noting that the tree is not yet decorated, Trinity throws his hat on the top and sits down in front of the fire to warm up and dry off.
Trinity gets warm and falls asleep, when he wakes up, the tree is decorated with several gifts already under it. Trintiy looks thoughout the house and sees no one around.
Then he looks at the names on the tags and doesn't find his anywhere. He slumps back into the chair when he remembers that he can't read.
it musta been the Christmas Fairy that come in and decdorated the tree and brought in a few starter gifts.
Trinity decides that in light of the fact that he can't read, all the gifts must be for him. He opens one up and finds a mixing bowl. "Now, that just stanks. Tha Christmas fay-ry jus' don' know nothin' bout me!" >:(
Trintiy opens the next gift, it's a whale bone corsette, Trintiy tries it on and almost hurts hisself.
Then he tries to think who might have wanted that for a gift. If this were last year, he would have known.( :'( ) But since this is not last year, Trinity is worried. :o
the next gift Trintiy looks at is a calander with gals holding green garden vegatables
"Naow that's just turrible! Ah'm gonna give this'n to ol' Sodbuster. T'ain' no one 'roun' hair that would wanna look at thayut!"
with his corsette on and his mixing bowl on his head and his picture proped up by the chair, he opens another. it appears to be a bright sinny set of jingle bobs
"Ooooooh! Ah'm gonna give these to Sherlene so that her airs kin jingle jangle jingle." ;D
ah! speaking of Sherlene and the kids, where have they been during all this cold weather.
"That's a good thought. Ah wonner ifn' Sherlene cut enough wood fer tha fahr. Mebbe Ah orta go check on theeyum."
she may'a done shot a deer and be a cooking it up.
Trinty, we ain't got much wood out here, member, you either need to pick here up cow chips or get some coalout of the dugout. ;D
Coal, that reminds me, I need to be really bad so Santa brings more coal or we'll freeze and The Steam Traction Engine won't run.
Delmonico goes and locks himself in his room. ;D
"Ah have faith that she done an got whatever she needs ta keep warm. Ah better check on that deer... uh, Ah mean mah woman an' tha keeuds."
yeah, ya never know, litl trinty might have his tounge stuck to a pipe somewhere, cold as it's been.
Delmonico sneaks out to his workshop while everyone is sleepin'. ;D
Slim finally comes walkin' back from the Dismal. ::)
"Ah's glad ta see ya back, Sleeum. Ah was worried that river or that turd woulda done you in." Trinity lowers his voice to a whisper. "Spakin' of which... you smail a little on tha rank side. :o"
let me see now Trinty telling Slim to clean up, let me set down here on the porch afor I fall off ;D
"Jes' what is you sayin'? He di'n't smail good atall! Am Ah wong?"
Delmonico gives Slim a bar of lye soap and tells him he can't come into the house till he's cleaned up. He tosses Slim some clothes out inta the yard. ;D
(PLease tell Santa what Delmonico did, he needs the coal.)
Trinity sees all the deer meat Dels been getting ready for storage, one large deer is hanging out by the barn, Wtih it being so cold it is frozen solid, Trinity walks by it and decides to give it a lick, his tounge sticks to the side of the deer.
we hear a muffled h p, h p, from the barnyard.
Delmonico looks at Trinity and says. "Ya better hope it gets warm this afterneen."
(Meanwhile back at the North Pole Santa puts down a 100 more pounds on his list.) ;D
"I ain't gonna wear dis pink sweater and poodle skirt ya threw out!" >:(
Delmonico says, "Well ya ain't comn' in the house neccked and ya can't wear them clothes, btw I locked the doors and changed the locks." ;D
<Santa puts Delmonico down fer another 100 pounds.>
since Slim's still wet, he makes sure he don't back up again the tin barn, Trinity's tounge is still stuck ta the deer
but it's warming up a little.
The deer slowly warms enough and with a loud ripping sound, Trinity is able to remove his togue. He looks at the deer and then the spot where most of his taste buds are still attached and wimpers.
Trinity starts toward the house, with his tounge hanging out, Slim who is still necked, having not put on the poodle skirt, sees Trinity a acting strange, screams and runs off toward the Dismal
He sees another large turd floating by and jumps on and repeats his ride.
except this time he freezes solid to his ride and has a coating of ice all over him.
Trinity runs along the bank with his tongue still hanging out, looking for the right place to jump in to save him. Slim sees this and paddles under the water in an effort to escape quicker.
seeing Slim is in trouble, Trinitily starts throwing rocks at him to break the ice off him.
Delmonico grabs his jug of castor oil take a big glug and heads to the Wedgewood room, sending more poop down on Slim. ::)
(Santa puts him down for 250 pounds of coal this time.) :D
Trinity steps back from the bank as he sees the oily dark lumpy liquid flowing from the pipe.
Slim catches a glimpse on the mess coming his way and starts trying to yell inside his ice encasement.
Leave it to Slim to yell in that situation, I'd keep my mouth shut. ;D
Slim sees what might happen and closes his mouth and makes motions trying to get out of the ice.
Delmonico is down by the river watchin' Slim, since it is a bit chilly he builds a fire to keep warm. ::)
(Santa puts him down for another 50 pounds of coal)
Trinity takes his last good river rock and takes careful aim, he chunks it hard, it smacks Slim up side the head and busts the ice off'n him,Slim stands up and falls back in the glop from his knot on the head
Since the coal benifits all at the ranch, Santa puts them down for another 200 pounds. ;D
knowing down deep it's for the good of the ranch, Trinity takes a long stick and pushes Slim back out inta the current.
Santa writes down another 50 pounds. ;D
Trinty starts thinking he may need a little coal to burn over to his cabin fer Sherlen and the kids, he finds him a stray dog and gives it a swift kick.
Santa puts him down for 30 pounds as the dog bits his foot. ;D
Trinity is getting into the swing of things now, he limps on up town and opens the grocery store door fer a little ole lady and just as she gets there he lets it go and it knocks her down,
Santa thinks that is only good fer $10 pounds cause he knows her and she was gossipin' about her neighbors a lot this year. ;D
Trinity breaks out of his trance and shakes his head. "What em Ah doin'? Only Dail is bad fer coal, Ah ain' posed ta be doin' awl these evil thangs? Whar's Ozark? He's prolly sittin' on tha porch, drankin' squeezin's an' laughin' at me, dernit!"
Trinity becomes excited as he realizes that the Winter Solstice is only two weeks away. (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/santagrin.gif)(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/santagrin.gif)
2 weeks, wall I know it's gonna be too cold to go danceing around naked.
Delmonico orders a large wagon load a firewood to be shipped in from Minny-soda. "Ya notice Slim is already practicin' danchin' necked." ;D
ya know that Slim is reallly getting inta this soltice celebrating ain't he.
Yeah, Trinity and I are thinkin' 'bout makin' him an Honorary Druid. ;D Trinity is out building a Potted Meathenge right now. ;D
I hope he's a building it outa the empty cans and not trying to use the potted meat, he'd be eating it as fast as he can build it. ;D
BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRP!!
I thought it'd be built outa empty cans. :o ;D
Delmonico glances over at Slim who has just crawled out of the river still necked, thinkin' about his warm Wissy=consion winter clothes locked up in the house Slim starts to sing.
Ill have a blue christmas without you
Ill be so blue just thinking about you
Decorations of red on a green christmas tree
Wont be the same dear, if youre not here with me
And when those blue snowflakes start falling
Thats when those blue memories start calling
Youll be doin all right, with your christmas of white
But Ill have a blue, blue blue blue christmas
Youll be doin all right, with your christmas of white,
But Ill have a blue, blue christmas
(Santa adds 50 more pounds)
Trinity stops what he is doing when he hears the singing.
"That sounds like that thar Ellis Prellsy singin' a song about Sleeum. Wonder if he could make up a song about Blue, ma old hound dog?"
In his excitement he knocks over the Potted Meathenge.
"Dad nabbit! >:( Now Ah gotta build it agin, an' only 12 more days till tha festivities!"
Quote from: Trinity on December 10, 2006, 03:28:09 PM
"Dad nabbit! >:( Now Ah gotta build it agin, an' only 12 more days till tha festivities!"
lucklily, we know that no matter how many empty cans of potted meat it takes. your just the one who can empty em.
Trinity looks up with potted meat smeared on his face and with a full mouth, asks: "MMM?"
with all the empty cans piling up around him, Trinity decides to build the Potted Meathenge at least life size and if he can eat enough he'll build it larger than life.
Slim finally remembers that he has stashed some Wiscoooooooooonsin winter clothes fer such an occasion. He finds 'em and puts 'em on.
"You's smailin' better, pard."
"Thank yooooooooooooooooooooooou."
"Wheeew! Ya fergot ta brush yer teef."
"Sorry." :-[
"Ain' no problem. Hair... Have a swig of ma cinamon sqeezins. <<Whisper on>> It works great... Ah don' brush mah teef either.<<Whisper off>> "
Slim trys to take a sip but his teeth is chattering sa much from the cold, he has trouble drinking, so Trinity has to pour the first few quarts down his throat.
Soon, the cinnamon and the alcohol has Slim's throat burning.
Slim takes off, running fer the river again,
Delmonic sees him runnin', pulls the chain and gains another 50 pounds of coal. ;D
<Arthur's note: What chain?> ;)
<Author's note: The one on the Wedgewood WC.> :o
<Arthur's note: That's what I thought.> ::)
with his mouth cooled off now, and not having jumped in the river, Slim goes for a lesiurely stroll, a watching fer anymore chains or other traps.
Because Slim did not jump in the river and spoiled everyones fun Santa puts him down for 75 pounds of coal. ;D
Trinity is warming his hands by the kitchen far and yells out a thank you to Slim from the kitchen window.
<Authors note: Go easy on it, I was sick last year and wasn't bad enough, we're gettin' low and it won't be here till late Christmas Eve or early Christmas mornin'.> ;D
Everybody comes into the house to warm up. Trinity has every fire in the house a going full blast, he's sitting in the living room in just his long johns and boots talking about how hot it is fer this time of the year.
"Only teeyun more days!"
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/Other%20Stuff/113518443834_tn.jpg)
ah, but we ain't gonna be a dancing here in the house with all the heat.
Delmonico says, "Ya know I've been kinda mean lately, but it's all fer the good of the ranch, we need the coal. But just to show you I'm a nice fella most the time, I got us tickets on the CB&Q to go to Alliance Newbrassky just west a here in a few days. Got us a place to go to fer the Winter Solstice that is better that the place we had the summer selly-bration, it's up near Alliance. ;D
"Awwwllraht! That soun's lahk a good place ta party." With that, Trinity throws two more pieces of coal into the stove.
boy they ain't many days left till it's time.
Trinity stares at the large package under the tree in the back with gleaming eyes.
Trinity crawls under the tree and opens the package.
"Ooops! This'n ain' fer me. It's fer Sleeeum from his cousin Montaner Sleeeum. Ah wonner if'n he'll notice if'n Ah take one lil sausage? " ;D
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/47745_ts.jpg)
http://www.sportsmansguide.com/cb/cb.asp?a=236724
when Trinity gets done taking one lil sausage, the box is empty, he wraps it back up as best he can. and slids it back under the tree.
*BURRRRRRRRP*
yer gonna havta hold back on that burping, they'll know ya been a eating.
"Kain' he'p it. Sausage always does that to me." Suddenly another spicy burp errupts. *BRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAP*
well I reckon yer right when nature calls ya got ta answer.
Slim walks into the room. He smells the sausage aroma. "Trinty, where did ya git the sausage?" ;D
"Uh... Nothin' Sleeum. Nothin' a'tall!" Trinity looks nervously around the room.
Trinty trys as hard as he can to be casual, just then from down deep in his stomach a burp starts building
Trinity is able to hold the burp down, but burps being burps it decides to go out the back door. ::)
Quote from: Delmonico on December 15, 2006, 11:32:44 AM
Trinity is able to hold the burp down, but burps being burps it decides to go out the back door. ::)
and so does Trinity with Slim right behind him. :o
Delmonico comes inta the kitchen and says, "I hope Santa bring low sulpher coal this time." ::)
Delmonico opens up a few windows to let the house air out. and watches as Slim and Trinilty disappear in the distance.
Behind them are all the rats and cockroaches from within a ten mile radius of "ground zero".
:o
;D
;D :D ;D
with all the rats laying around a flock of buzzards come in for lunch, all except one vulture, who takes a fancy to Trintiy
Still running (but huffing louder a locomotive), Trinity begins to wave wildly to try to scare the buzzard off.
The buzzard makes several dives at Trinity, but barley misses him each time. finally Trinty lurers him in close enough ta grab.
Just as the buzzard begins to grab, Trinity stumbles and the buzzard soars off with a mouthful of hair.
As Trinity is fallin' he hollors cause the chunk of hair the buzzard pulled out hurt. :o As he falls toward The Steam Traction Engine he hollow OWWWWWW. The good new is he don't fall to the ground, he is save by his tongue sticking to the side of the boiler on the cold Steam Traction Engine. :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P
Delmonico heads out to the work shop and sees Trinity stuck by his tongue to The Steam Traction Engine. ::) At first he thinks that since Trinity has done sumthin' dumb again, he should just leave him, but since it's that time of year, Delmonico thinks he should help. He heads to the dugout to get some of the last remainin' coal from last year. As he builds the fire in the firebox he slowly adds water to the boiler. ;D
Del slowly brings up the heat to a litany of Ow,Ow,Ow,Ow,Ow,Ow,Ow,Ow Ith hurths, Ow,Ow,Ow,Ow,Ow,Ow,Ow,Ow,Ow,Ow Ith hurths, Ow,Ow,Ow,Ow,Ow,Ow,Ow,Ow Ith hurths!
about that time Trinity's tounge comes unstuck from the metal, he walks around in a circle doing a little dance, with his tounge hanging out of his mouth.
Delmonico decides that now that he's got The Steam Traction engine fired up he needs to go fer a ride, he throws in the drive clutch and takes off. ;D
Trinity thinks Del is a trying to run over him so he runs off in fornt of the tractor, not thinking he could just stop, step to one side and let the tractor pass,
after bout 6 or 8 miles his tounge is really hanging out.
Trinity, knowing that tomorrow is the winter sol tice keeps asking Del, when do we go get on the train,
is it time yet, is it time yet, is it time yet, is it time yet. is it time yet, is it time yet, is it time yet, is it time yet. is it time yet, is it time yet, is it time yet, is it ti is it time yet, is it time yet, is it time yet, is it time yet.me yet.
Trinity's tongue comes loose and Delmonico parks The Steam Traction Engine and when it cools he drains it. ;D He hitches up the buckboard and lods everyone up and heads to Dunning. ::) "It ain't till Friday, we will be in Dunning in the mornin' and we'll catch the mornin' east-bound." ;D He then puts the team up to a fast trot. ::)
Trinty starts talking about going to eat out up to Dunning, a trying to decide what he might order.
Won't have time, will have to eat in the dinnin' car. Trinity sits on the back of the buckboard and his tongue drags in the dirt. ;D
with his tounge a dragging he asks Del if he thinks they might have ice cream on the train to ease his tounge pain.
Well see, Delmonico passes around a bag of jerky and another a hardtack to tie them over till mornin'. ;D
with his tounge starting to shrink back in his mouth, Trinity has a little jerky, just trying to be careful and not bite his tounge.
Trinity goes to the front of the buckboard and taps Delmonico on the shoulder and wispers in his ear. Delmonico hollors whooo and stops the buckboard. He says to Trinity, "Hurry, I thought I tolt ya to do that afore we left." ;D
as soon as Trinity gets off, Del takes offf a quick trot, Trintiy runs about 3 miles before Del stops and picks him up again,
(we got ta have all the coal we can get)
But because Delmonico didn't wait long enough before leaving, Trinity still has to go.
since he ain't driving the wagon, Trinity breaks out the jug and starts singing Christmas songs.
He breaks out two jugs. The drinking jug and the playing jug. Soon he's laying down a nice bass line while Delmonico sings "Corn, Water and Wood".
people start coming outa their houses along the way, thinking it's a travelling show of some kind, when they hear the christmas music, they throw food onto the wagon, Ozark sorts out the green from the rest, knowing Trintiy will just throw the green stuff back at em.
"Thankth Othark! Ooooh! A pickled thauthathe!"
coukrse a couple of the yelllow veggies get by and Trinty eats em. (without knowing)
Disliking the yellow veggies much more than the red ones, Trinity begins to vomit. Yellow and white slime (not slim) spews from his innards with chunks of Penrose sausages. Upset at having lost the sausages, Trinity attempts to pick them out, but the consistency of the yellow veggies only makes him sick again.
Edited by the moderator. Slim
with an empty belly now, one can of potted meat remins in the wagon, so Trinity opens it and eats it and sips from the jug to pass the time a riding.
Trinty returns to blowing on the playing jug.
And on into the night they travel to meet the mornin' westbound on the CB&Q out of Dunning. ;D
"Jingle Bells, shotguns rabbits all the way"
"Oh what fun it is to ride in Delmonico's Dray." ;D
As the tempature drops, Delmonico puts on his buffalo coat and watches the others turn blue cause they forgot their heavy coats. ;D The catterin' of their teeth makes him feel cold so he covers his lap with a buffalo robe. Santa puts him down for a 100 more pounds of coal. ;D
There is an old broken down wagon blocking the trail so Delmonico swings off the trail to go around it, unfortunately Trinity's tongue is still dragging the ground as Del drives over a patch of cacti.
They make it to Dunning just as the CB&Q Morning Westbound pulls into town. Delmonico skids the buckboard into the Livery stable, tosses the chamber maid a $20 gold piece and they head for the train which is not startin' to leave. Everyone but Trinity makes it on board and quick thinkin' by Sodbuster saves Trinity from being left behind. Sodbuster grabs Trinity by the tongue and pulls him aboard. ;D
with Trinity's tounge a hanging out permanently, the fellars decide they need to trim it off so's it'll fit back in his mouth, a knife comes out and slice, slice and it fits back just right.
"Bout dark they arrive in Alliance Newbrassky, Delmonico gets hotel rooms for all a them 'cept Trinity who he gets a stall in the Livery Stable. ;D They go downtown to find supper. ::)
Before joining the others for dinner, Sod Buster makes sure his supply of Sacred Plants of the Winter Solstice have survived the journey:
Evergreens - symbolizing: Continuity of Life, Protection, Prosperity
Holly - symbolizing: Old Solar Year; Waning Sun; Protection; Good Luck
Oak - symbolizing: New Solar Year; Waxing Sun; Endurance, Strength, Triumph, Protection, Good Luck
Mistletoe - symbolizing: Peace, Prosperity, Healing, Wellness, Fertility, Rest, Protection
Ivy - symbolizing: Fidelity, Protection, Healing, Marriage, Victory, Honor, Good Luck
Frankincense - symbolizing: Sun, Purification, Consecration, Protection, Spiritual Illumination
Myrrh - symbolizing: Healing, Death and Afterlife, Purification, Inner Peace
Wheat - symbolizing: Sustenance, Abundance, Fertility, Good Luck
Yup...already for the celebration.
Delmonico comes in to the rest-er-rant and hollors, 'we're missin' it, get in the buckboard I rented, I got wood and coal oil."
As they gallop to Carhenge Trinity is takin' off his clothes. ;D
the boys arrive with Trinty already in his longjohns, he hops off and starts to build a fire, Sodbuster starts unloading his plants and sitting where he wants em.
The fire (Yule Log) starts to burn. Per the tradition, it will need to burn for 12 hours.
Trinty keeps carrying fire wood over by the fire, he has enough to burn for days if needed
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on December 21, 2006, 07:27:37 PM
Trinty keeps carrying fire wood over by the fire, he has enough to burn for days if needed
Since he is nekked, he is carefull not to get too close to the fire so that his short hairs don't get singed ::)
Trinity suddenly notices someone else is helpin' him drag logs to the fire. ???
Trinity starts seeing as how it's dark he can't quite make out who it is..
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on December 21, 2006, 07:49:49 PM
Trinity starts seeing as how it's dark he can't quite make out who it is..
Why it's "Yul Log" Brynner!
Don't ask him how he got that name! :o
With Yule a dancing around Trinity, Trinity eases over by the wagon and grabs his longhandles, since he don't know Yule very good.
Trinity doesn't like how Yule is staring at him, so he goes to the other side of the fire. However there he finds Irma from Delmonico's car hop and decides to go dance behind the oaks that Sod Buster brought. Not because he's shy, but because Irma is not much to look at.
Quote from: Trinity on December 21, 2006, 10:41:16 PM
Trinity doesn't like how Yule is staring at him, so he goes to the other side of the fire. However there he finds Irma from Delmonico's car hop and decides to go dance behind the oaks that Sod Buster brought. Not because he's shy, but because Irma is not much to look at.
Behind the Oaks, Trinity finds an errant goat watching the celebration. Trinity's tummy starts to rumble......
with all the dancing done, Trinity starts a seperate fire and cooks the goat, that he had tied to tree earlier.
<<Glad to see the Santa Smilies back!!!!!>>
Despite what everyone thinks, Trinity is not done dancing. He takes one of the cooked legs and runs back to the fire and begins dancing while eating.
The others from the ranch tired out from dancing, sit and watch Trinity a dancing around the fire, eating goat and blame it on the contents of the jugs they consumed last night.
Delmonico havin' not drank out of Trinity's jug still sits in the buckboard with his buffalo coat and lap robe, from time to time he goes to Trinity's fire and gets a cup a coffee from the pot he has brewed. ;D
Now that the Yule Log has been burnin' for 24 hours and is almost out, the revelriers are about over....but Trinity don't wanna quit.
with Del having brewed up coffee and the goat cooked up some of the boys have breakfast
Seeing everybody moving over to his fire, Trinity stops dancing and shouts "Hey! Y'all kin ate some goat, but save tha other hind laig fer me!"
now with the sun fully up and shinning bright, The boys from the ranch start to load some of their stuff back onto the wagon. Trinity continues to dance around the dying embers of the yule log.
Trinity notices as the wagon begins to pull off and he runs after it. Delmonico pulls back on the reins and Trinity slams into the back, knocking himself out cold.
Delmonico marks down for a few more pounds of coal. ;D
They load Trinity in the wagon and head back to Alliance. In Alliance Delmonico takes back the rental wagon and they catch the eastbound CB&Q to Dunning. ;D
Trinity wakes up in the train car still thinking that he's in the wagon. He lifts his head to see the scenery flying by and asks "Dontcha thank yer goin' a mite fast, Dail?"
Startled, Trinity sits up and slams his head on the upper sleeper berth an flops back down on the bed, knocked out for the rest of the ride home.
Arrivin' in Dunning, they load the buckboard and head to the ranch so to be there on Christmas. ;)
At the station Trinity boards another train headed to Atlanta. "Yawl, Ah gotta head on down to see mah sister. Ah wish ya a murray Chrimmas!
"Gee, Ah hope Ah'll stop seein' double sometahm soon..."
As the train pulls out of the station, Trinity calls out: "Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"
Trinity thinks to himself "Ah done hert that oncet."
Quote from: Trinity on December 23, 2006, 01:06:54 PM
As the train pulls out of the station, Trinity calls out: "Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"
Trinity thinks to himself "Ah done hert that oncet."
mighty catchy saying
the wagon ride home is uneventful, but when the fellars get there it sure does feel good ta be home, everybody starts pitching in and getting ready fer Christmas.
After helping with some decorations at the Ranch, Sod Buster heads home to his drafty, cold, lonely Soddy.
after getting the Ranch fixed for Christmas, Ozark and the boys at the Ranch take theirselfs over to Sod Busters and get a tree along the way and start fixing up Sod Busters Soddy for the Holidays.
with the Soddy all decorated up and a fresh turkey fer his stove, they go on back over ta the ranch to see if Del has started any cooking yet.
They find the kitchen door locked and a "Keep the Heck Out" sign posted. Santa adds a last 100 pounds of coal to his list afore he leaves. ;D
Everybody just passes out there in the house and Ozark throws a few pieces of coal in the stove and lays dodwn fer a nap.
Duke the Yaller dog comes to the kitchen door and whines, Delmonico opens it and lets him in, they are the only ones awake at the ranch and Delmonico is cookin' up a storm. Out in the yard a sleigh lands, being pulled by 8 pronghorn antelope and behind it is 2 large freight wagons being pulled by 8 Bison each, the wagons are loaded with coal which is unloaded by a bunch of elves into the old dugout. ;D
Delmonico and duke don't hear them, they are takin' a break and fryin' some steaks for a late supper. As the steaks get done Delmonico gets out the phony-graph and puts on that Christmas song and Duke chimes in.
I was in the arroyo, gathering strays, ya see cowboys and cattle don't get holidays.
I would have been finished except for on little guy, who kept leading me farther away.
Up on the mesa and through a ravine, past the Indian ruins and a muddy red stream.
I stopped for a moment cause I was bone tired and I guess that I started to dream.
I saw three painted horses, three dark skinned men, masks made of clay and voices like wind.
We seek the soul of all that is good, we come bearing gifts of corn, water and wood.
Stop and behold, all that is good, give thanks for the corn, water and wood.
Now I'm an ol' trail hand and all that I belive is yer boots and your saddle are all that you leave.
No miracles happen, no angels appear, yet there were three men standing there.
I shook myself over, had I been asleep, that's three Pueblo children, tending their sheep.
And they yelled Merry Christmas as the brought me my stray,
and their voices rang through the mesquite.
We seek the soul of all that is good, we come bearing gifts of corn, water and wood.
Stop and behold, all that is good, give thanks for the corn, water and wood.
We seek the soul of all that is good, we come bearing gifts of corn, water and wood.
Stop and behold, all that is good, give thanks for the corn, water and wood.
Merry Christmas from all the gang at The Ranch With No Name. ;)
Quote from: Delmonico on December 24, 2006, 11:39:09 PM
wagons are loaded with coal which is unloaded by a bunch of elves into the old dugout. ;D
One piece of coal, enchanted with Christmas Magic, comes to life and starts singing:
"I'm just an old chunk of coal,
But I'm gonna be a diamond some day..."
Sod Buster can't sleep tonight so he decides to do some baking:
-Sweet Potato Biscuits
-Turkey Pot Pie <--from some of the Turkey the Ranch boys brought by earlier - Thanks!
-Corn Fritters
.................
After baking, Sod Buster grabs a jug and sits down to wait for Santy Klaus - but he passes out before Santa git there........
Delmonico opens the kitchen door and hollors, "come and get it ya heathens and has ham, eggs, biscuits, sinner-man rolls, coffee for breakfast and lots of goodies a cookin' for dinner. (noon that is) ;)
with the noon time meal eaten and leftovers still on the table, everyone realizes that Trinity really did go to his sisters. Food left over is almost unheard of around here.
Slim arrives from the northeast wearing the red flannel shirt he got from the Frumpy Fairy Godmother fer Xmas last year. :'(
the boys at the ranch, see Slim wearing a mighty fine shirt and they wonder silently why he didn't put on the rest of his clothes.
it's kinda cool out.
Slim obviously misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day. He thought is was No-Boxers Day so he left his trousers at home.
I bet he seen that boxing day in Canada on the Calendar yesterday.
Slim, gettin' a might chilly, runs into the ranch house with his warbags.
with it being a might chilly, Ozark goes to the coal bin and finds what looks like several train cars of coal, he brings back a bucket full for the fire,
Trinity arrives at the ranch house with a large bag full of seed from various fruits to try in the Newbrassky soil.
"Looky what Ah gots fer Christmas!! Mah fambly done give these to me fer use at tha steel. ...But Ah gotta wait 'til after they's growed."
everybody starts a looking at Trinity's seed and Sod Buster starts sorting em out so we'll know what to plant next to what.
"Hey! Leave them seeds alone! You only know about them yucky seeds!"
Trinity gets out the new type growing device he got in At lantra, a chia pet, he sits it up near a window wets it down nad spreads his seed on, then he sits down
and waits fer the results.
"Them folk in the mercantile kep' sayin' 'Ch Ch Chia '. Ah jus' hadta have me one. Ah even foun' me one what looked lahk a sheep fer the sheep marshal."
Ch Ch Chia? that is a catchy little tune, I reckon these things'll be the wave of the future.
that'll keep the sheepherder outa trouble a trying to grorw him something. ;D
"Ch Ch Chia... Ch Ch Chia Yep, yore raht. It shore is catchy. Hair, Ah done brought ya a Turkey. Ya kin make it grow a mohawk."
Ya reckon it'll cause Injun problems out here, you know it wouldn't be politically correct in about 150 years. we'd have ta call it a Native American Hair Cut of the Mohawk Tribe.
"Ah don' keer none 'bout po-liticalness. Them folk in tha future kin kiss mah <BEEP>!"
with all the Chia pots loaded and watered, Trinity & Ozark sit in the house waiting fer anything to grow. a watching out the winders fer any disgrunled injuns that may show up.
"Ah awlso brought a one that looks lahk a beef fer litl rooster, a peeug fer Stoney, one that looks lahk a cheese wheel fer Sleeum, one that looks lahk a tin a potted meat food product fer Dail an' a regular pot fer tha stranger so's he kin harvest tha sprouts an' eat 'em."
Delmonico comes out of his office and sees Trinity's Chia pet in the kitchen window, he heads back to his office and gets his Remmie Roller 50 caliber pistol and shoots it, blowin' out the window. ;D He says, "Durn, it's a good thing I got that green hairy varnmint afore it got one of us." :o
Trinity looks at the shattered pieces of his chia pet and tears form in his eyes. :'(
Trinity grabs a jar of hide glue and starts heating it up, with a little help from Ozark they glue the pot back together, it almost looks like a cross between a possum and a crocadile
Trinty seeds it back up and puts it in the winder by his bed.
http://wonderfulbuys.com/Search_Result.asp?QUERY=chia (http://wonderfulbuys.com/Search_Result.asp?QUERY=chia)
Still sniffling, Trinity removes his chia pet from the window out of fear that the Chia Pet Sniper might attack again. For its safety, he slides it under the bed.
Trinity goes down and fires up the coal oil computer and orders one of every model of the chia's on the fastest freight wagon available.
Trinity waits up the entire evening for the brown wagon. Just as he starts to doze it arrives. Trinity is ecstatic.
Trinity grabs the shotgun and runs out to the brown wagon, telling the driver about the chia sniper, he stands guard while the chia's are taken into the house.
with all of them safe inside, he starts opening them, finding out that he had hit the wrong numbers while ordering, he now has well over a hundred chia's in his room.
Trinity looks around and wipes his brow. "Whew! Luckily Ah ordered agin' Dail's account. Ah wonner what he'll thank when he gits tha beeeull."
Quote from: Trinity on December 31, 2006, 08:58:43 AM
Trinity looks around and wipes his brow. "Whew! Luckily Ah ordered agin' Dail's account. Ah wonner what he'll thank when he gits tha beeeull."
he'll probably think ya done ordered valuable antiques from Egypt. some of them Pharoh's treasures.
;D
What Trinity dosn't know is that He got all Sheep Chias, so now He's a Green Sheephearder on Dell's bill. :o
:D ;D :D
8)
Trinity takes a nap and when he wakes up, the chia's have started to grow. Trinity sees all the sheep and goes running and screaming into the hallway. a thinking he is a having a nitemare.
Delmonico goes in and shoots all the green sheep. ;D
"Whew! Thankee Dail. That were a mighty big fright seein' awl theeyum sheeps!"
with only his possum/crocodile chia still intact, Trinty takes his water can up and pours a little water in it and sits to watch it grow.
Delmonico paints a whole bunch of small pictures of green sheep on the side of The Steam Traction Engine. ;D
He figures next time he fires it up he'll chase Trinty around some and make him thnk he's having another nightmare.
;D :D ;D
Trinity slowly drags into the kitchen to make himself a hot mug of recipe when he looks out the window and sees Delmonico's Steam Traction Engine.
:o :o :o :o :o :o :o
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggh!!!!!!"
Trinity peeks up over and out the window, where he ducked down when he had his daylight nightmare.
Trinity peers closer at the steam traction engine and finally realizes that the sheep are painted on.
Trinity wanders out toward the barn, keeping hid along the way, just ta make sure they ain't somthing else out there.
As Trinity gets to the traction engine, he see's there are hundreds of them on it, he starts putting 2 and 2 together and comes up with the conclusion, Del is a serial sheep killer, a going fer a drive in the evening and running down sheep. :o :o
As Trinity steps around the barn he sees a large turkey. ;D
Trinity runs over to the turkey and takes hold of his hand, I mean wing, he tells the turkey ya better get yerself inta the barn, Del may have already run over all the sheep round here and he may start on birds next.
Trinity walks the bird over to the deep fryer and asks him at what temperature it should be set... so that the bird isn't accidentally cooked.
The turkey panics a little when he smells hot peanut oil and feels the heat offf the fire.
"Don' worry none, good buddy. It's a mite warm, dontcha thank? Ya wanna git shed of some-a them feathers?"
Trinity fetches a llittle bucket full of his corn mash and begins to get his supper oh! er, turkey all stuffed.
"Go on little feller. Step up into tha hot tub yonder. Ah'll prepare yer rub ... er massage."
feeling a little lite headed the turkey steps up and sticks just his toe into the hot liquid, thinking this is just a might hot.
"Lemme he'p ya." With that, Trinity pushes the turkey in.
As Trinity finishes off the last of the turkey, he stands and goes out to the cooker and paints him a picture like Del done on the traction engine, cept his is a drawing of a turkey.
"Ah thank next tahm, Ah might wanna fust take out his innards. At least run some water through him ta make sure he ain' got no more poop."
gives him that extry flavor. :o ;D
Having finished his snack, Trinity goes looking for a larger turkey.
Franken bird goes sneaking around the edge of the barn not wanting Trinity ta see him.
needing some more grain for his stills, Trinity gets out his garden growing kit that Sod Buster gave him for Christmas, he sets his seed and sits it in the sunny side winder.
"Ah wonner what would happen ifn Ah put some-a them wif pointy leaves in mah pahp." ???
with the pointy leaf plants in the pipe Trinity dreams he is flying ta Texas on one of the geese going south.
(http://www.gourmetsleuth.com/images/nettle.jpg)
This pointy leaf plant? ??? :o
them pointy leafs look like they might have little thorns :o :o
Sod Buster loans Trinity some nitrated paper that he got in town for use with the pointed-leafy plants.
Trinity gathers up some leaves and some o the paper Sod Buster give him and a few clothes and tells everybody good bye and walks on down ta the Dismal to see if he can find him a big goose going ta Texas.
Trinity gets to Dunning and finds a Tin goose gettin' ready to go to Texas. ::)
Trinity lands in San Antone and goes directly to the teley graph office and sends a note home, I fergot my jugs, I need them,
send jugs to Trinity, San Antone Texas.
Delmonico gets the telly-gram, reads it and tosses it inta the cookstove. ;D Santa puts him dow for 50 pounds of coal for next Christmas. ;D
Santa makes a note to use Pocahontas coal next time - the cleanest burning coal there is!
http://www.wvweb.com/www/pocahontas_mine/
Trinity goes walking around to see what he can see, he finds the gospel rescue mission and they are serving lunch and assigning beds fer the night.
After supper and before bedtime they all go out to a Larry Gatlin and the Gatlin Brothers concert. ::)
The doors to the mission open at seven
And the soup will be ready about nine
Right now its six-thirty, they're ragged and dirty
They standin' and sittin', and layin' in line
First they'll do a little singin', then hear a little preachin'
And get saved for the 3rd time this week
A bowl of soup later and a pat on the shoulder
And by midnight, they're back on the street.
They walk to the corner of 4th street and Broadway
Then take the first alley on the right
One of them asks a stranger, how 'bout a hand
And he gives 'em one finger at a time
Then they spot an old buddy, with a bottle of heaven
Then pass around what means ev'ry-thing
One bottle for four, thank God, someone scored
And now the Midnight Choir starts to sing.
Will they have Mogan David in heaven
Dear Lord, we'd all like to know
Will they have Mogan David in heaven, Sweet Jesus
If they don't, who the hell wants to go.
Will they have Mogan David in heaven
Dear Lord, we'd all like to know
Will they have Mogan David in Heaven, Sweet Jesus
If they don't, who the hell wants to go.
Oh! ... (Come on now...)
If they don't, who the hell wants to go, Dear God.
;D ;D ;D ;D
Trinity tries some of the Mogan David, but it ain't near good as he's used to.
with Trinity gone a visiting, the gang at the ranch gets the chance to eat a few meals with the worry of all the food disappearing suddenly.
Delmonico has some live lobsters shipped out from the coast. ;D
when the delivery wagon arrives, he throws the lobsters in the horse trough out front. to keep em fresh
Sod Buster brings over some Winter Vegetables:
Parsnips, Leeks, Turnips, Beets, Kale, Brussel Sprouts, Cabbage and Broccolli.
He hands them to the Cosie for processings.
Wtih all them fresh veggies, I can't hardly wait ta try em, did ya bring the greens too.
Slim goes out to the horse trouth to looks and gets a lobster clamped down on his nose. ;D Delmonico looks out when he hears him screamin' but is to busy gettin' the veggies ready and drawnin' the butter plus boilin' a big pot of water. ;D
everybody hears Slim a hollering, they walk over ta the door, Ozark yells out to Slim, Come running over here by the door Slim, I'll knock him off as ya come by.
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on January 06, 2007, 08:57:25 PM
Wtih all them fresh veggies, I can't hardly wait ta try em, did ya bring the greens too.
The Brussel Sprouts, Cabbage and Broccolli are "
Green" veggies. ;D
I was kinda thinking bout the green leaves, get us some bacon grease and wilt em down,fry em up, good eating.
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on January 07, 2007, 06:45:55 AM
I was kinda thinking bout the green leaves, get us some bacon grease and wilt em down,fry em up, good eating.
Sod Buster reaches back into his buckboard and pulls out some Kale, Collards, and Spinach.
Delmonico gets these a cookin' while Slim still stands out by the horse trough whinin' about the lobster clamped on his nose. ;D
Sod Buster sneaks up behind Slim with his saddlebags, rears back and whops slim up the back of the head and the lobster pops off,
Thinkin' quick the lobster breaks it's fall by now clampin' on Slim's left ear.
with Slim a running round and round the front yard, the crew at the ranch start thinking of ways to get the lobster off Slims ear. the first idea is to cut just a small chunk outa Slims ear.
Delmonico goes out and gets the rest of the lobsters and tosses them inta the boilin' water. ::) "I guess since Slim has chosen his lobster and won't bring it to the kitchen he can just eat his raw." ;D
the boys decide if Slims lobster won't go to the cooker, they should bring the cooker to him, they fire up the steam traction engine, bring it up to temperature and stand Slim around by the steam realease valve.
This cooks the lobster, but Slim only keeps whinin'. ;D The cooked lobster is still clamped to his ear. ;D
<Author's Note: Good thing this is a family forum.> ::)
Slim wants the lobster off his ear, so, the fellars get Slim to lay his head on the shop anvil with the lobster pointing up, then take the shop sledge hammer to just crack the claws so it'll come loose. since Slim can't see the lobster, he hits hisself in the head twice before he gives the hammer to somebody else.
Delmonico takes the hammer and before he swings he says, "where the heck it Trinity when you need him." ;D
so since Trinity ain't here ya reckon we oughta just start up the saw mill and run just the edge of that lobsters claw through it? the steam is already built up on the traction engine. all we'd have to do is back it into the belt.
Yeah that might be a good idea, Trinity is our sledge hammer man. Ya want I should run to Dunning and get Six-Finger Steve the Carpenter to help us. ;D
we might need him if we don't want Slim to be missing a part of his ear.
Well it's a good thing it is on Slim's ear, Six Fingered Steve ain't never cut off one of his ears or anyone ele's ......................yet. ;D
Slim should be proud to know we was thinking of saving all his extrry parts
Naw, I've seen Slim in person, he ain't got no extry ears, just the regulation 2. ;D
Dern, I was hoping he had another one hid under there somewhere,
you know just in case.
I'd still be very weary of someone named "Six Fingers"...what happened to the other four?
well we didn't say he was perfect with the sawmill, we just wanted that lobster off Slim's ear without much blood letting
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on January 07, 2007, 08:26:39 PM
well we didn't say he was perfect with the sawmill, we just wanted that lobster off Slim's ear without much blood letting
Electro Shock applied to the lobster? Tell Slim to bite down on a bullet or a leather strap.
that thar's a good idey, Del can you hook up that jenny rator to the steam traction engine so we can get plenty of shock.
Sod Buster, how many of them volts you reckon it'll take ???
First of all he's only missing 2 fingers and he still has one of his thumbs. Side's that it was the thumb he lost to the sawmill, not a finger. ;D The one finger was a drw knife and the other was the drill press, 'sides that with the drill press he had to drill it three times before it fell off. ;D
Lectricity won't work, member the lobster is steam and that destroyed all it's nerves, shockin' it would just destroy Slim's nerves. :o
Quote from: Delmonico on January 07, 2007, 08:43:05 PM
Lectricity won't work, member the lobster is steam and that destroyed all it's neves, shockin' it would just destroy Slim's nerves. :o
probably right wouldn't do Slim much good. ;D
Delmonico gets out his Highwall, "set Slim out about a half mile or so on that hill over there, when I hit it with this 50-140 I bet that lobster will just 'splode like a clay pigeon." ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on January 07, 2007, 08:49:12 PM
Delmonico gets out his Highwall, "set Slim out about a half mile or so on that hill over there, when I hit it with this 50-140 I bet that lobster will just 'splode like a clay pigeon." ;D
Then what happens to Slim's dinner?
Tain't fair to put him through such a tramatic experience and not be able to have a good meal when it's over.
looky thar, you done scaret slim and he's a running fer cover.
"Well he's the one that got himself inta trouble again and our suppers gettin' cold foolin' round with that big bug." Delmonico puts away the rifle and says "Let's the rest of us eat, Slim can figger it out on his own." ;D ::)
As the men walk in the house, Ozark turns to Del and says, ya reckon when Trinity gets back from Texas we could try the jenny ator on him a little.
We could, it might be fun. ;D Delmonico sees Slim peekin' over the hill and takes a quick shot, he hits the lobster dead center and it explodes inta tiny pieces, all but the claw clamped to Slim's ear. ;D
Slim comes a walking back up to the ranch, the boys see him a coming and start talking about how he looks a little like one of them pi rates in Trinty's bedtime book.
Slim comes back to the house with bite sized pieces of lobster, Delmonico think's maybe if ya used a py-rite's name and some of those little lobster pieces one could make money selli' them to folks. ;D
That might just work, sell it where you could just drive your wagon through and not have to get off.
After supper everyone is full and happy but Slim, he's still whinin' 'bout the lobster claw on his ear. ;D
Slim ties a bandana on his head, puts on an eye patch, and glues a stuffed pirate to the shoulder of his shirt. "Just call me Long John Silver." ::)
Delmonico goes to the shop, forges an iron hook and heads toward Slim with it and his axe. ;D
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
Slim runs fer the hills.
the fellars stand on the porch watching Slim a running from Del, I knowed he wouldn't like that hook fer picking his nose or scratching his ear.
Slim is getting tired and slowing down since he glued a stuffed pirate to his shoulder instead of a parrot! :o
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on January 08, 2007, 10:59:46 AM
Slim is getting tired and slowing down since he glued a stuffed pirate to his shoulder instead of a parrot! :o
<Arthur's note: Oops! :-[ > :D
Slim finally prys the pirate off his shoulder and lets it drop in the trail, he picks up a little speed with the extry weight off .
<Arthur's note: Thanks, OT. ;) >
with the load off, Slim starts a bobing and weaving, just in case Del's still a packing his rifle
Delmonico watches Slim run around like a fool out a the kitchen winder where he has a big ol' prime rib roast in the oven. ;D
Slim comes in bout dark, a stumbling from running all day, he passes out on the porch, one of the boys at the ranch takes a pair of wire building pliers and using the pointed end puts it in the lobster claw and takes a hammer, one good blow and it pops right open,
Slim wakes. He is elated that the lobster claw is gone. He goes in the house. When he goes out again, he looks like this.
(http://www.tfaoi.com/am/9am/9am217.jpg)
He lassos the chimney, climbs the rope, and starts sweeping the chimney. ;D
Simm, shim a shim sim a sim chiminey. ;D Where's Mary Poppins? ::)
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/55/JulieAndrews.jpg)
Slim is so busy cleaning tha chimbley that he fails to notice a lady with an umbrella float onto the roof. She taps Slim on the shoulder, it startles him so bad he falls off the roof. :o
Good thing he tied the rope to his ankle, but now he is dangling upside down about 4 foot from the ground. ::)
Delmonico sees him hangin' by one foot and removes Slim's plate from the dinner table. ;D
juat a hanging there in the air, Slim hollers for somebody on the roof to HELP.
Mary Poppins, whips a Buffalo skinnin knife out from under her skirt and cuts the rope.
Slim falls in sumthin' Duke left behind. ::) Delmonico see's that and tells Duke, "Bad dog, go further away from the house next time." ::) Duke sulks away with a smirk on his face. ;D
Knowing that Del won't let him in the house smellin' like that, Slim gits a bar of lye soap from his saddlebags and goes to the Dismal to wash up. ::)
When Slim gets down to the river he finds a thin lalyer of ice around the edge,
Delmonico has followed Slim to the river to see what he will do. "Go ahead, I double dog dare ya," he says. Slim utters those famous sometimes last words, "watch this." ;D
Slim puts his tongue on the ice. :o
Delmonico goes back to the house discussed and tells everyone, "if you want to have a necked Slim with his tongue stuck to the ice moon you, go on down to the river." ;D Myself I'm going to the root cellar and get some beets for supper."
Wonder where he'll end up, I bet that ice done broke loose and is a floating down the river with Slim attached at the tounge.
Delmonico starts water boilin', "could be, guess he's going to miss out on buttered beets and sirloin steak." ;D
Well he'll probably be alright as soon as he floats fer nough south he'll thaw out. he might make it down to New Orleans iin time fer Mardi Gras, and they would't care that he didn't have no clothes.
He can stop in Saint Lewie and get some beads from one of the traders that sell that type of stuff to the Indian traders. ;D
Slim, who is fully clothed, comes walkin' up ta the house holding a sheet of ice that is still attached to his tongue.
Del takes the boiling water offf the stove and pours just a little on Slims's tounge to melt the ice.
Sod Buster delvers some Organic Salve to help the healin'.
Delmonico tosses it out the window and puts Iodine on Slim's tongue. ;D
Litl Trinity finds it and thinks it is food. :o
litl trinity gets him some saltine crackers and spreads the salve on it, with his pocket knife
Ozark hears a noise outside and looks to see Trinity a walking up on the porch with a new Davy Crokett hat on his head and one fer litl trinity iin his pouch.
Trinity walks into the kitchen and finds no one there but sees and SMELLS ( :P) veggies on the stove and turns green. He calls for litl trinity who comes immediately. Trinity grabs his son and rushes out of the house.
"They's been awl kahnda un-godly thangs been goin' on, ain' thayre, litl trinity?"
The two of them ride into town and have a steak dinner. Trinity is forced to borrow his sons knife because his own was confiscated at the Texarkana Roadhouse (on the Texas side) when he tried to help himself to a side of beef hanging in the smokehouse.
Quote from: Trinity on January 14, 2007, 09:42:35 PM
The two of them ride into town and have a steak dinner. Trinity is forced to borrow his sons knife because his own was confiscated at the Texarkana Roadhouse (on the Texas side) when he tried to help himself to a side of beef hanging in the smokehouse.
I didn't think it would be on the Arkansas side, they use them Arkansas tooth picks all the time fer the pork.
Trinity makes a note to remember his Toothpick for his next trip AND to stop off on the Arkansas side to get something to eat.
I think they got a toothpick mill right up the road from Texarkana, up there around Mill Wood lake, they got them pine toothpicks, it goes along with the pork.
ya done pounded one of Sod Busters plow sheers inta a toothpick
"Who?"
Ah brought this thang out so's Ah kin hailp Slim, caus' he seems ta be havin' trouble wif Ahs. Figger'd Ah could chip away at it an' free his tongue."
Delmonico says, go for it, we needed you with a sledgehammer to do sumthin' to Slim while you were gone, be danged if I member what it was. ;D
after 3 or 4 pokes with his toothpick slims tounge has a nice new little hole in it, so Trinity ties a little wire through it (inventing body pierceing)
Slim comes inta the kitchen, Delmonico looks at the wire in his tongue and says, "Slim that is dumb, it will attract lightning in the spring." ::)
Trinity looks out the window at the black clouds forming. "What about lightning in tha win'er?"
Slim pokes his head out the door :o
ZZZT - KABOOOOOOM
Ozark turn to Del and says did you hear something ???
Ozark has to speak loudly because the windows and all the dishes are still rattling.
Ozark is hard of hearing anyway, was never very good at starting the fire under the still. ;D
Quote from: Trinity on January 16, 2007, 07:36:00 PM
"Who?"
<<author's note to those new here.....Trinity & Sod Buster have never been formally introduced. Trinity still refers to him as the 'stranger'>>
Quote from: Trinity on January 16, 2007, 08:02:03 PM
ZZZT - KABOOOOOOM
Over at his Soddy...Sod Buster wonders if the steel poles he is using for the pole beans is such a good idea........
Delmonico looks out the window at the snow and says, "hot damn, I love thunder snow." ;D
Quote from: Sod Buster on January 16, 2007, 08:54:35 PM
Over at his Soddy...Sod Buster wonders if the steel poles he is using for the pole beans is such a good idea........
ZZZZZZZZT - KABOOOOOOOOOOMSuddenly, the entire pole bean crop is ablaze. Back at the ranch, Trinity looks out the window. He doesn't quite know why, but he feels as if something very good has happened.
Sod Buster is joyfull that it is winter and there ain't no beans now - just some dead bean stalk.
Slim comes inta the kitchen with his tongue blackened and says, "maath waadd thaaaas maathassssss." ;D Delmonico looks at him and says, "I done tolt ya that wire in yer tongue was a bad idea." ::)
with his tounge black and hurting, Trinity talks Slim into a notion of letting him scrape his tounge with his knife. make it heal faster, Trinity tells hijm.
But when Trinity really gets out the knife, the shock wears off and Slim goes out the door screamin' into the snow. ;D
least wise we think he was screaming, he's still sounds kinda funny.
Slim runs unto the steam traction engine and gets his tongue ... or what's left of it ... stuck to the side.
Ozark looks out and see's Slim, hollers at Trinity to bring yer knife, we might havta trim Slims tounge a might.
Delmonico says, "it's late, lets fix it in the mornin'." He then shuts out the lights. ;D
kinda hate leaving Slim out there all night, but I guess that will keep his tounge from hurting, it'll be numb from being froze to the tractor. ;D
Sometime during the night, Slim fell asleep and toppled over onto the ground... with his tongue still frozen to the steam traction engine.
as the sun comes up the boys at the ranch look at the winder, there lays Slim with his tounge stuck, they all agree that the best thing they could do is to give him a tounge trim. Trinity dips his knife blade into disenfectant (his reciepe) ;D
Slim sees Trinity comin' with the knife and breaths fast on it and gets free, he heads to the Dismal. ;D
but going out the gate, his tounge being so long, he trips over it and rolls around on the ground
Picking up snow as he rolls he is soon a huge snow ball... with a tongue sticking out of the middle.
rolling toward the only hill leaving the ranch, Slim picks up speed and snow. by the time he gets to the main road he is really traveling and almost 6 ft in diameter
Delmonico watches from the kitchen widow and then he puts Slim's plate back in the cupboard. ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on January 18, 2007, 06:26:57 PM
Delmonico watches from the kitchen widow and then he puts Slim's plate back in the cupboard. ;D
Slim rolls left at the main gate and heads fer the Dismal growing the entire time
Even though the SnowSlimball is now huge, part of Slim's tongue is still sticking out.
Until he finally reaches the Dismal and he rolls over a sheet of ice to which the tongue again freezes.
Slim rolls on
And we're rolling, rolling, rolling on the river
Listen to the story
I left a good job in the city
Working for the man every night and day
And I never lost one minute of sleeping
Worrying 'bout the way things might have been
Big wheel keep on turning
Proud mary keep on burning
And we're rolling, rolling
Rolling on the river
Cleaned a lot of plates in Memphis
Pumped a lot of tane down in New Orleans
But I never saw the good side of the city
Till I hitched a ride on a riverboat queen
Big wheel keep on turning
Proud mary keep on burning
And we're rolling, rolling
Rolling on the river
If you come down to the river
I bet you gonna find some people who live
You don't have to worry if you got no money
People on the river are happy to give
Delmonico says, "I 'spos that means Slim ain't gonna want no breakfast either." ;D
<Arthur's note: I be thinkin' Slim is gonna get very slim missin' all these meals.>
(well alright then)
as Slim rolls on the river by Memphis he thaws off the ice flow, swims to shore and walks over the levy and down to BBQ row and eats at all the all you can eat places he can find open.
;D ;D ;D ;D
wanted ta make sure ya had enough strength to make it back to the Ranch ;D
"Did somene say Memhis BBQ??"
To late Slim and some guy named Elvis ate it all and Elvis got most of it.
Then Elvis introduces Slim to Fried Goober Butter and Nanner sammiches!
Mmmmmmmmmmmm!
<Arthur's note: I was wearing a red t-shirt with the following on it, today. I got it fer X-mas.> ;D
(http://www.redriderleglamps.com/images/tshirt5.gif)
<<Did you tell everybody what you are doing in Newbrassssky?>> ;D
I bet he got that t shirt over to Graceland while he was in Memphis.
"Ah'm steel upset that he din't save no BBQ fer me! Who is this Ailvis person. That shore is a funny soundin' name!"
by the way have you seen Slim in that there new suit he got in Memphis?
"Ooooh! It's glittery!"
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
"Sleeum. Ya puttin' on weight? You don' quot look lahk yersailf in that suit."
Quote from: Trinity on January 20, 2007, 05:07:01 PM
<<Did you tell everybody what you are doing in Newbrassssky?>> ;D
<Arthur's note: If I did, they'd put me in the booby hatch. ::) >
<<Trinity's note: That don' sound too bayud>> ;D ;D
Quote from: Trinity on January 20, 2007, 10:27:40 PM
<<Trinity's note: That don' sound too bayud>> ;D ;D
naw! he's talking bout the nut house.
Like this? ;D
yep, that'd be the one , out on the lone prarie. :o
<Authors Note: On the hill at Yankee Hill, just southeast of Lincoln, funny story about that place, in 1867 when they were tyin' to locate the Capital south of the Platte and out of Omaha, they sent out a commision to find a place in June. First stop Ashland, skeeters ate them up, came out of the swamps. No go. Second place Yankee Hill on the Newbrassky City-Ft. Kearny trail, folks there wanted it so bad, bad the had a feast for them, served ice cream, commisioners thought it was a bribe. Went to a village, Lancaster NE of there, nothin' but some salt flats, a minor salt industry, 'bout 20 folks, all Methodists, all Democrae
ts. Served em ham hocks and corn bread.
Commisioners liked them and the fact they could build the town mostly from scratch. Some Repuplican from Omaha got a bill passed that the Capital had to be named Lincoln after Ol' Abe, figgerin' they would reject it being Democrats, well they wern't dumb ones like you see today, said sure. ;D Lincoln got the Capital, had to sleal the stuff from Omaha in a blinding snowstorm, Omaha posse got lost in the snow. ::)
Lincoln got the University, Capital and prison, Yankee Hill got the Insane Assylum,they still ain't got over it, will soon be an unicorperated village inside Lincoln. ;D Most don't know why, but Grandpa and Great Grandpa always told them to not let Lincoln incorperate them. :o BTW brother-in-law I got Rowdy from lives in the same section as the Regional Center almost surronded by City Limits on 3 sides. ::)>
Slim arrives at the nut house expecting to get a bag of goobers, he is escorted to a private room. A few minutes later to burly fellows enter with a distinguished looking man in a suit followed by another fellow with a strange electrical device, Slim wonders if its for roasting the nuts.
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on January 22, 2007, 05:05:30 AMA few minutes later to burly fellows enter with a distinguished looking man in a suit followed by another fellow with a strange electrical device, Slim wonders if its for roasting the nuts.
Maybe in more than 1 way. ;D
:o :o :o <<From the booby hatch to roasting nuts. Just where is this story going??>>
I think it was a wrong turn at Blueye, just went south from there.
;D
Why do I have a feeling that Slim is about to get a charge? :o
;D :D ;D
:o
;D
8)
Tune in for the electrifying conclusion to this sideline on the thread! ;D
Nurse Rachet says, "sSim you look tired, here sit down and rest." ::)
The orderly Quick McFry says, "Mr. Slim we'll just strap you in so you don't fall out of the chair! ;D
:o :o :o :o
"Hey Sleeum. Whatcha doin' in tha hot seat? Didja swap Dails castor earl wif recipe?"
Slim's about ta git hisownself juiced up in a different way Trinity! :o
"Really? When yer done, kin Ah give it a trah? Huh, kin Ah?"
Quote from: Trinity on January 24, 2007, 07:25:09 PM
"Really? When yer done, kin Ah give it a trah? Huh, kin Ah?"
uh yeah you can be next. here smear this olive oil around on yer yerself. it'll give ya a more even tan :o :o ;D
Slim sits in the chair with a silly grin on his face, nurse Rachet pulls the switch. ;D
:o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o
Slim gets bug eyed. ;D
(http://smiley.onegreatguy.net/shocker.gif)(http://smiley.onegreatguy.net/shocking.gif)(http://smiley.onegreatguy.net/shocker.gif)(http://smiley.onegreatguy.net/shocking.gif)(http://smiley.onegreatguy.net/shocker.gif)(http://smiley.onegreatguy.net/shocking.gif)
Trinity starts laughing. "Lookit Sleeum. He's havin' sech a good tahm. Watch 'im daince!"
I don't think I've ever seen anybody get that bugeyed ;D
"They look lahk they'd pop if'n ya even walked by too fast."
I reckon that few thousand volts would do that ta a fellar
(http://www.lifeaftercoffee.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/04/marty_feldman.jpg)
that one eye must be fer secret viewing ;D
"Aaaaaah! Next thang you know, you'll be pushin' a lil cart an' orderin' folks ta brang out tha daid!"
ya better get out yer Arkansas tooth pick, that thing may be mad
Nurse Ratchet turns up the juice. ;D
that thing sure has a prutty flame to cause so much pain
z-zzzzz-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz-
zzzzzzzzzzzzz-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt!
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on January 25, 2007, 09:52:07 PM
that thing sure has a prutty flame to cause so much pain
I sure hope Slim didn't eat anything that caused some intestinal distress. I would hate to see what that voltage would do to some methane gas leaking out of his backside. :o :o
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/FIRE5.gif)
whoops, passed a little gas didn't he ???
That's gotta hurt.....
with Slim's burning desire, burned out Trinity goes into the kitchen to see if any left overs are left over.
<<Trinity's not burned out.... or is he? ;D>>
Suddenly Trinity hears Slim singing Burning love and decides to leave the room and Slim to himself.
QuoteLord almighty,
I feel my temperature rising
Higher higher
Its burning through to my soul
Girl, girl, girl
You gonna set me on fire
My brain is flaming
I dont know which way to go
Your kisses lift me higher
Like the sweet song of a choir
You light my morning sky
With burning love
Ooh, ooh, ooh,
I feel my temperature rising
Help me, Im flaming
I must be a hundred and nine
Burning, burning, burning
And nothing can cool me
I just might turn into smoke
But I feel fine
Cause your kisses lift me higher
Like a sweet song of a choir
And you light my morning sky
With burning love
Its coming closer
The flames are reaching my body
Please wont you help me
I feel like Im slipping away
Its hard to breath
And my chest is a-heaving
Lord almighty,
Im burning a hole where I lay
Cause your kisses lift me higher
Like the sweet song of a choir
You light my morning sky
With burning love
With burning love
Ah, ah, burning love
Im just a hunk, a hunk of burning love
Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love
Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love
Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love
Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love
Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love
I bet he learned that thar song down to Memphis when he were traveling
"Ya reckon he met one-a them minstrels?"
I bet he went right down to Sun records and sit in on a few.
"What, he has a son who is a minstrel?"
I'm thinking he travels with Brother Love.
"Oh no! That last travelin' salvation show he deeud hair in Newbrasskey was a nightmare!"
I think I seen a flyer down to the store, said he was coming back through
"Not agin. Ah hope Dail's steam traction engine don' burn down the taint agin."
well if you remember if were totally Brother Loves fault.
"Ah kain' rightly member much raht now."(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/drunk.gif)
well you remember that one girl that worked for miz collinswood, she left after brother Love's show moved outa town, story is she's a playing piano fer him now.
"Ah don' member that girl ever playin' tha pye-anny, but her fanger were mighty tallented. Ahhhh yes, Mrs. Collin'wood's girls. Ain' llowed ta see them no more. :( :(. Speakin' of which, whar is that Sherlene?"
I think I seen her down ta the river fishing the other day when it warmed up.
Quote from: Trinity on January 27, 2007, 09:23:57 PM
"Ah don' member that girl ever playin' tha pye-anny, but her fanger were mighty tallented. Ahhhh yes, Mrs. Collin'wood's girls. Ain' llowed ta see them no more. :( :(. Speakin' of which, whar is that Sherlene?"
Yup...you is hitched to one of 'em. ;D
"She ain' one theeyum no more. ...Ah don' thank, leastways. So, you say that she was a fishin', Ozark? That mains Ah orta be gitten on over to tha cottage. Ah reckon they's some fish on tha dinner table. Mmmmmmm!"
When Trinity arrives at the cottage, litl trinity has et all the fish and cleaned out the potted meat stash that Trinity had put away,
Delmonico also notices that Trinity has also ate all the potted meat that made up the potted meat shed. Delmonico realizes that there is no potted meat left on The Ranch With No Name, and then suddenly the wind shifts from the North-West and the snow really begains to fly. ;D ;D ;D ;D
<does this mean that Trinity will be snowed in with no potted meat, wait and see.> ::)
Trinity stands completely still, staring at the empty potted meat containers. Sherlene speaks to him but he doesn't move. Suddenly a single tear wells up in his right eye and runs down his cheek.
Trinity stands for the rest of the night staring unblinkingly at the havoc. His lips move, yet he says nothing.
Sherlene finally goes to bed and blows out the candle.
while Trinity is standing there in the dark he hears litl trinity jump off his bed and crawl under it.
Under the bed he finds nuthin' but empty cans, as the snow starts to drift up to the windows and the wind picks up. ;D
Trinity, screams with pain as he claws the walls and door,
( course it's only been bout 15 minutes since Sherlene blowed out the candle.
Suddenly the sound of metal can being chewed can be heard.
By mornin' the drifts are 7-8 feet deep and Trinity has ate every crumb in the cottage. Mean while Delmonico and every one else is havin' bacon, eggs, and pan cakes for breakfast in the kitchen of the ranch house. ;D "Delmonico says, funny Trinity hasen't showed up for breakfast, here we'll just divide his share. ;D
with their belly's full, the boys at the ranch sit around by the fire trying to remember the last time they saw Trinity and maybe where he took off to.
Delmonico says, "I think he went to his cottage, most likey Sherne has made him a big breakfast." ;D
he's been over here at the ranch sa much lately, Sherlene most likely fergot how much he can eat ;D ;D
"Psst. Sherlene. You gonna wake up an' cook? Ah swep' up some dust fer ta make corfee with. Ah need food! Sherlene, please don' roll over..."
Sherlene opens one eye and it gives Trinity a you'd better keep quite look. ;D
<Will Trinity starve to death or will he get the shovel and tunnel to the ranch house, stay tuned to find out.> ;D
Trinity opens the winder and gets 4 buckets of snow, he pretends the first 2 are ice cream.
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on January 30, 2007, 07:15:27 PM
Sherlene opens one eye and it gives Trinity a you'd better keep quite look. ;D
"Oh..."
Trinity gets up and after an hour gets a fire going in the stove. He places the coffee pot over the heat, dumps the dust and debris into the pot and steps outside. As he's standing in the cold he notices that his back is very warm. Suddenly, Sherlene screams and runs past him, carying the twins.
"What?"
with her night shirt tail on fire, Sherlene runs and creates a tunnel plum over to the ranch house, Trinity, litl trinity and Deenese follow close behind
To Sherlene, Trinity asks: "What in tarnation didja do back thar. Tha whole kitchen was ablaze!"
with her shirt tail burned off plum up to her uh-huh, she takes a double handfull of snow and shoves in Trinity's face ;D
Sod Buster shows up with his mug of Glogg, watching the scene with amusement.
Ahhhh......this Glogg is good. <slurp>
Trinity brushes the snow away. "Thanks, but Ah done et some already. Don' taste much lahk ahscreme.
"Wail, howdy, stranger. Whatcha got in that thar mug?" Then looking sideways at him "It ain' no strange vegatamable creation, is it?"
No sir, the Fruit Root soup is simmering back at the Soddy.
This is Glögg, a high octane, hot mulled wine made with a potpourri of spices, red wine, port, and brandy. It is the perfect cold weather drink, warming the body and soul from the inside out.
<Sluuurp>
Want some? <hic>
"Now you's tawlkin' mah language! Back at home in Car'liner, we had a visitor what called it Glühwein."
Sod Buster passes a mug to Trinity and fills it up.
Sod Buster raises his mug and speaks the traditional Swedish toast: "Skal"
"Prost!"
"Prost"
hinunter die Luke
Delmonico says, "Trinity why were you eatin' yaller snow?"
He thunk it wuz lemon flavored ice cream Del!
<Arthur's note: this Sepia thing is spreading. ;D >
<Author's Note: It's the Sepi Virus, don't open any E-Mail titled Sepi Virus.> ;D
;D ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on January 31, 2007, 12:40:23 PM
<Author's Note: It's the Sepi Virus, don't open any E-Mail titled Sepi Virus.> ;D
Kent lookit any threads wif them words in em either Del, its a sneaky little virus! (http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/sad/8.gif)
Be vewy, vewy careful. ;D
<<I opened it and look what it did!!!! >:( :(>>
ïùùùùùùùùùùùù
Ya look like one of them big green veggies :o :o
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Sod Buster stops drinking his glogg and notices Trinity's new COLOR.
"Say there fella...can't ya handle your likker??"
Trinity, St. Paddy's day isn't for another month!
<<I opened Del's email again and the result is more in the spirit of February.>>
ïùùùùùùùùùùùù
Nope, that ain't the sepi virus, that is the rainbow one, don't watch The Wizard of Oz again. ::)
"That's a Trinity of a different color." ;D
<<Not the rainbow virus!!!!!!!!!! Next thing I'll be wanting to decorate again! :o :o :o :o :o>>
Trinity walks into the kitchen where Sherlene is shaving a slab off of the 50lb economy sized canned corned beef.
"Ya makin' lunch fer me an' tha boy?" Trinity asks as he begins to salivate.
Sherlene whacks Trinity with the bald headed end of her mop and says, "here, mop up that drool." ;D
Trinity lowers his head. "Yes ma'am. Do Ah git soma that coned beef when Ah'm done?"
Slim walks outta the house ta milk the cow and gather eggs. He gets 'bout half way ta the barn when his boots freeze ta the ground. :o
Delmonico looks at Slim froze to the ground and puts his breakfast plate away and slices a few slices less of bacon. ;D
Slim smells the bacon and jumps outta his boots. Half way back ta the house, his feet freeze ta the ground. :o
Duke comes out and sniffs around Slim. ;D
(Will Duke lift his leg and save Slim, wait and see.> ;D
"Nice boy, Duke." Slim pats Duke on the head.
Sherlene slices three pounds of bacon for Slim, Trinity and the children. Trinity eats one pound by "tasting" each batch.
It is so cold Duke is stuck to Slim by a yaller ice-sickel. ::)
Monkey who has been watching all this from high in the barn loft. swings down to the house and gets some of the hot bacon grease, swings out to where Slim is stuck to Duke and pours the hot grease down the yellow ice sickle onto Slim and Duke. :o
As the bacon grease hits the ice-sickle Duke is free and runs, the hot bacon grease slides onta Slim's foot a con-jeeels. ;D
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/mfight.gif)
Where's Clea?
Clea must be keeping warm out in the barn.
Slim's horse comes out of the barn when Slim whistles. He moseys over and poops on Slim's feet.
Slim's feet are finally warm after being encased in ice for the last hour or so. Slim is happy and walks into Del's kitchen whistling and leaving a trail behind him.
And just like Trinity Slim is whopped with the bald headed end of the mop and made to clean up his mess. ;D
Trinity goes outside and gets a bowl of snow, comes back to the kitchen and spoons in a few tablespoon fuls of cold bacon grease, stirs it up and starts eating, after finishing he starts talking bout planting vegatables and cooking vegatables, the fellars look at each other and then get up to see just where Trinity had got that snow.
Hey fellers it look like Trinity went to the spot where Slim's horse got him free! :o
Trinity staggers around fer about an hour talking bout eating spinach and carrots and broccoli, so Del gives him some of it and he eats it,
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/morepuke.gif)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/morepuke.gif)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/morepuke.gif)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/morepuke.gif)
Trinity finally passes out. When he awakens, he has no recollection of what happened.
Quote from: Trinity on February 05, 2007, 08:14:46 PM
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/morepuke.gif)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/morepuke.gif)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/morepuke.gif)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/morepuke.gif)
What a waste of good veggies. :'(
"Whew! Ah fail much better. Don't know jes what happent, but ah need me a pull!"
I thank yer gonna have ta watch that colored snow, ya got ta remember chocolate and yellow snow ain't necessarly good :o :o :o :o
"Ah do recollect that thar chawklet snow weren't pleasant tastin' a'tall!"
It wuz Sleeeums fault he shoulda cleaned up tha chawklit snow!
"It's awlways
Slim's Fault
er so's Ah hair"
Trinity goes out in to the back yard, checks all the snow for color. and find a good clean patch, loads up a 5 gallon bucket with snow. he takes it into the house and gets him a funnel and fills it with snow and then pours some of his brew in. the first snow cone, cept Trinity just puts his mouth under the funnel and takes his thumb off'n the hole to slurp it down. ;D
"Mmmm, tasty~! Ah wonner what tha snow mixture tastes lahk... *Glug* *Glug* *Glug* Ah'll fahn' out later. *Glug* *Glug* *Glug*"
Delmonico goes into the kitchen and begins to prepare a meal for the folks at the Ranch With No Name.
"Dail... them bisquits is done riz enough. Ya ever gonna bake 'em?"
"I don't think so." ::) ;D
Delmonico throws a big bunch a dough at Trinity. ;D
Trinity ducks and the hardened dough hits the door and knocks a hole in it.
Trinity spies something under the wash basin. "Oooh, a peanut!" Trinity picks it up, dusts it off and eats it.
"Now whoz gonna fix the door?" >:(
"Ah din't do it. It were Dal's dern ol' biscuit dough." >:(
;D
Found a peanut, found a peanut,found a peanut on the floor.
It was rotten, I ate it anyways, found a peanut on the flooor.
WTH is the rest of the words to this, can't 'member?
Found a peanut, found a peanut,
Found a peanut just now,
Just now I found a peanut,
Found a peanut just now.
Cracked it open, cracked it open,
Cracked it open just now,
Just now I cracked it open,
Cracked it open just now.
It was rotten, it was rotten,
It was rotten just now,
Just now it was rotten,
It was rotten just now.
Ate it anyway, ate it anyway,
Ate it anyway just now,
Just now I ate it anyway,
Ate it anyway just now.
Got a stomach ache, got a stomach ache,
Got a stomach ache just now,
Just now I got a stomach ache,
Got a stomach ache just now.
Called the doctor, called the doctor,
Called the doctor just now,
Just now I called the doctor,
Called the doctor just now.
Penicillin, Penicillin,
Penicillin just now,
Just now I took Penicillin,
Penicillin just now.
Operation, operation,
Operation just now,
Just now an operation,
An operation just now.
Died anyway, died anyway,
Died anyway just now,
Just now I died anyway,
Died anyway just now.
Went to heaven, went to heaven,
Went to heaven just now,
Just now I went to heaven,
Went to heaven just now.
Wouldn't take me, wouldn't take me,
Wouldn't take me just now,
Just now Heaven wouldn't take me,
Wouldn't take me just now.
Went the other way, went the other way,
Went the other way just now,
Just now I went the other way,
Went the other way just now.
Didn't want me, didn't want me,
Didn't want me just now,
Just now they didn't want me,
Didn't want me just now.
Was a dream, was a dream,
Was a dream just now,
Just now it was a dream,
Was a dream, just now.
Then I woke up, then I woke up,
Then I woke up just now,
Just now I woke up,
I woke up just now.
Found a peanut, found a peanut,
Found a peanut just now,
Just now I found a peanut,
Found a peanut just now.
ya musta got one of them Con agria peanuts, check that shell see if it's got 21111 stamped on it. :o :o
"They weren't nothin' stamped on it 'cept mah boot."
Quote from: Trinity on February 17, 2007, 05:41:26 PM
Found a peanut, found a peanut,
Found a peanut just now,
Just now I found a peanut,
Found a peanut just now.
Cracked it open, cracked it open,
Cracked it open just now,
Just now I cracked it open,
Cracked it open just now.
It was rotten, it was rotten,
It was rotten just now,
Just now it was rotten,
It was rotten just now.
Ate it anyway, ate it anyway,
Ate it anyway just now,
Just now I ate it anyway,
Ate it anyway just now.
Got a stomach ache, got a stomach ache,
Got a stomach ache just now,
Just now I got a stomach ache,
Got a stomach ache just now.
Called the doctor, called the doctor,
Called the doctor just now,
Just now I called the doctor,
Called the doctor just now.
Penicillin, Penicillin,
Penicillin just now,
Just now I took Penicillin,
Penicillin just now.
Operation, operation,
Operation just now,
Just now an operation,
An operation just now.
Died anyway, died anyway,
Died anyway just now,
Just now I died anyway,
Died anyway just now.
Went to heaven, went to heaven,
Went to heaven just now,
Just now I went to heaven,
Went to heaven just now.
Wouldn't take me, wouldn't take me,
Wouldn't take me just now,
Just now Heaven wouldn't take me,
Wouldn't take me just now.
Went the other way, went the other way,
Went the other way just now,
Just now I went the other way,
Went the other way just now.
Didn't want me, didn't want me,
Didn't want me just now,
Just now they didn't want me,
Didn't want me just now.
Was a dream, was a dream,
Was a dream just now,
Just now it was a dream,
Was a dream, just now.
Then I woke up, then I woke up,
Then I woke up just now,
Just now I woke up,
I woke up just now.
Found a peanut, found a peanut,
Found a peanut just now,
Just now I found a peanut,
Found a peanut just now.
Ah fond memories of my Great Uncle from Colarado who passed about 40 years ago, can't even remeber his name but and remember him playing his gutar and singing it.
Trinity makes hisself hungry singing and starts seaching the house over fer a peanut
;D
Goobers, Goobers, eating Goober peas, Goodness how Delicious, Eating Goober Peas. ;D
Marshal fires up Da Still, makin a new batch of Sheep Dip! ;D
::)
:o
8)
I think Gomer and Gooberwere just here. ::)
;D ;D ;D ;D
"Whatfer was Ah locked out of tha house!" Trinity asks angrily. "If'n yens don' wan' me 'roun', jus' say so!"
Trinity stamps off to his cabin to check on Sherlene.
When Trinity leaves, Delmonico unlocks the door. ::)
Trinity returns to the Ranch With No Name and finds Delmonico in the Kitchen.
"That dern woman of mahn tolt me that Ah hadta take a baf or leave. Whatcha got ta ait?"
I think Del has some leftover Sunday dinner, we had a goodin
"Thar'z sum hard dough 'round here sum war'z." ;D
Delmonico points to hiz new sign, "No Baf, No Eats!"
Trinity storms out to tha yard an gets a jug of hiz recipe.
Trinity runs back inside to grab the hard dough and then returns to his jug outside as he eats the dough, drinks and pouts.
Trinity yells inside the window to the others "Yawl straigten up! Marshal H is lookin' in on us!!... An' Ah ain' tawlkin' 'bout tha sheep marshal, neither."
;D
Slim stops slouchin'.
:o
;D :D ;D
;D
8)
"He musta saw me a-starin' at 'im an' lef'"
The Trail Boss Marshal H or the no good sheep(spit)herder one?
Quote from: Delmonico on February 26, 2007, 07:08:49 PM
The Trail Boss Marshal H or the no good sheep(spit)herder one?
did he have his glasses on or was he looking through the bottom of a glass, could make a big difference in who he saw.
"Ah was referrin' ta tha Trail Boss. He was hair las' night, but lef' without sayin' nuthin'. Ah 'spec' he was makin' sure we was awl behavin'
"Ah don' rightly recolec', Ozark. Bein' tha upstandin' individual that he is, he prolly... wait, Ah jus' 'membered tha story about tha taser thang... Don' know, OT, don' know."
Sod Buster brings Trinity some salted peanuts and a mug of beer. Sod Buster puts the peanuts in the beer. Trinity is amazed at how the peanuts bob up down all on their own! :o
"Oooooooooooh! Look et them thangs daince!" With one swallow Trinity downs the beer and peanuts.
"Ah din' wanna watch them little fellers suffer. Got any more?"
when Trinity puts his glass down he discovers one more peanut in the glass, after turning the galss up and not being able to get it, he slaps the bottom of the galss and starts chocking on the nut.
Sod Buster brings Trinity one more mug of beer with a handfull of peanuts in it. He also offers him some good ol' Southern boiled peanuts made while the nuts are still green. :)
Trinity's face has turned purple as he looks up at Sod Buster for help.
Sod Buster sees Trinity turning purple so he decides to whop Trinity, but fergets and whops him across the head.
Trinity flies backwards off of the bench he was sitting on. His face is now deep red except for Sod Buster's hand print on his forehead which is white.
Trinity stumbles as he gets to his feet, bounces against the back door and it opens and he falls off the porch into the storage area, strangely enough this is where Monkey sleeps, as Trinity falls backwards on Monkey, Monkey is deeplly concerened with Trinity's backside coming at him. so he bites Trinity on the but, this in turn causes Trinity to scream with the last breath in his body, which dislodges the peanut and lets Trinity breath.
As Trinity gasps for air and tries to regain composure, he see's Monkey staring angrily back at him.
"Wail, hey thar lil feller! Ah 'preciate yer hailpin' me, but didja have to bite so hard?"
Quote from: Trinity on February 26, 2007, 08:27:47 PM
As Trinity gasps for air and tries to regain composure, he see's Monkey staring angrily back at him.
"Wail, hey thar lil feller! Ah 'preciate yer hailpin' me, but didja have to bite so hard?"
monkey tips his little hat to Trinity and then turns it upside down for a little reward.
Trinity picks up the peanut that had been lodged in his throat and drops it in Monkey's hat. Rubbing Monkey's head, he goes back to the other beer that Sod Buster had made him. Again, he downs the contents in one gulp and again he finds one peanut remaining in the bottom of the mug. Just as he is about throw his head back and tap the mug, Trinity pauses and decides to manually retrieve the peanut.
He sticks his hand into the mug and cannot remove it.
Trinity lets go of the peanut and his hand comes out, he sticks it back in and grabs the peanut and his hand won't come out again, this goes on fer an hour
Finally, as Trinity is staring perplexed at the mug, Monkey reaches in, takes the peanut and eats it. Satisfied with himself, Monkey leaves.
<Arthur's note: It's a Trinity trap. ;D >
;D you know what they say about curiousidy ???
Delmonico says, "if yer gonna be killin' cats, do it outside the house." ::)
Trinity is curious indeed. The thought of Monkey reaching into the mug with no problems bothers him. He takes another peanut and drops it into the mug and sticks his hand inside to retrieve it. Again the fun begins...
Sod Buster just shakes his head in disbelief....and wonders if Trinity fergot about the boiled peanuts.
Monkey is so amused by the Trinity puzzle he gets another mug and drops a peanut into it. Now Trinity has both hands stuck.
As the rest sit about the palor doin' palor tricks, Delmonico leaves a note on the kitchen table, "Be back in a few days." He saddles Reuben and heads to Dunning.
;D
An You all's was concerned about dumb Sheep, :o
Marshal rearanges Delmonicles furniture. :o :P
>:(
As Delmonico is leavin' he sees the sheepherder rearrangin' the furature, "Dang Wimmin, always have to rearrange." ::)
:P
Who You callin wimmon, Sheep where did You leave the case of Dynomite?
Da Sheep says its in the iron box of Dell's Steam tractor.
Should go off right Ka Boom!
about Now. :o
See I knew that would get out the old worn out dynamite gag again, he's so pre-dick-table. ::)
Got a $1 says he can't come up with a new gag. ;)
Quote from: Delmonico on February 28, 2007, 07:25:44 PM
See I knew that would get out the old worn out dynamite gag again, he's so pre-dick-table. ::)
Got a $1 says he can't come up with a new gag. ;)
;D
Why get a Nu one when this works so well? :D
Admit it You get a Blast out of it. :o
::)
8)
Trinity hears the boys arguing again and, rolling his eyes, he takes his glass encassed fists outside.
On the porch, Trinity finds where Monkey has dropped a peanut into yet another mug. Looking at his two hands then back at the mug on the ground and then back at his hands. A candle goes off above his head and Trinity sticks his foot into the mug.
Ozark walks out on the porch for some cheap entertainment. this is almost better than the time we went up to town and watched them people a juggling them knifes.
Trinity now has both hands and both feet trapped in the glasses.
Fists tightly clenched, Trinity tries to throw the mugs off of his hands, but they won't budge. By now, he is very exasperated and clops over to the rocking chair and throws himself down in defeat.
"Ah jus' kain' figger it out how ol' Monkey kin do it an' Ah kain'" :(
I think the fellar that I got monkey from said he worked with a magician when he was first starting.
Monkey walks up to Trinity and tries without success to help remove the mugs from his feet.
monkey looks at his hands then reaches up to scratch his little head, takes off his hat and a rabbit falls out, he looks at Trinity smiles and gives him the rabbit.
Delmonico gets to Dunning and gets on the late evening train to Omaha. ::)
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on February 28, 2007, 09:23:47 PM
monkey looks at his hands then reaches up to scratch his little head, takes off his hat and a rabbit falls out, he looks at Trinity smiles and gives him the rabbit.
"Thanks, but kin ya cook 'im fust?"
seeing as how Del had left the ranch, monkey starts a bonfire and gets him a green branch to stick through the rabbit and starts cooking. monkey finds him a little apron to put on.
"Ain' ya gonna skeen'im afore ya put'im ta tha fahr?"
monkey starts to mumble as he skins and guts the rabbit. and puts him back on the fire
Trinity is waiting for tha cooked rabbit and looks down, realizing that the rabbit, when alive left Trinity a lap full of little presents, and we don't mean baby bunnies. Since Trinity can't leverage hisself out of tha rocking chair with the mugs on hiz hands and feet, he just sits and waits for Monkey to help him.
At Lincoln, the train stops cause a smow. ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on March 01, 2007, 07:26:33 AM
At Lincoln, the train stops cause a smow. ;D
<<Authors question: What's a SMOW? ;D ;D>>
"Monnnnkeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
monkey carries the rabbit over to Trinity, with the cooked rabbit smelling so good, Trinity lets go of the peanuts in the glasses to get the rabbit and suddenly he is free.
Munching on the rabbit, Trinity asks "What 'bout mah feets?"
monkey comes back with a sledge hammer
::) ::) ::) ::) "Now hold on thar Monkey. Ah ain' gettin' on yer nerves is Ah? Ah'm sorry if'n Ah is, but they ain' no need fer ta bash mah feets inta mush."
Trinity stands up and clops over and kicks the wall thereby breaking the mugs and freeing his feet. "Mah feets is free, but they kinda hurt now." Trinity returns to the rocking chair leaving bloody footprints behind.
monkey looks dissapointed that he didn't get to break the galsses. he tips his hat to Trinity and goes looking for them bananas he smelled
<Authors note: It's what happens when ye have an 18 month old girl gettin' in trouble along with the help of a Labrador puppy when you are tryin' to type and post.> ;D
Quote from: Trinity on March 01, 2007, 07:45:05 PM
<<Authors question: What's a SMOW? ;D ;D>>
<<Author's Note: It's Newbrassky slang fer Sum Mo Snow. >>
Ignorin' the fun bein' poked at him for a minor typo, Delmonico boards the train for Omaha now that the tracks have been cleared. ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on March 01, 2007, 09:50:02 PM
<Authors note: It's what happens when ye have an 18 month old girl gettin' in trouble along with the help of a Labrador puppy when you are tryin' to type and post.> ;D
<Arthur's note: I know exactly what ya mean. ::) >
Quote from: Delmonico on March 01, 2007, 09:50:02 PM
<Authors note: It's what happens when ye have an 18 month old girl gettin' in trouble along with the help of a Labrador puppy when you are tryin' to type and post.> ;D
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on March 02, 2007, 07:00:32 AM
<<Author's Note: It's Newbrassky slang fer Sum Mo Snow. >>
Quote from: Delmonico on March 02, 2007, 08:23:38 AM
Ignorin' the fun bein' poked at him for a minor typo, Delmonico boards the train for Omaha now that the tracks have been cleared. ;D
;D ;D ;D
Trinity watches Monkey walk off and wonder's where he's off to.
His stomach growling, Trinity reaches under the porch and grabs a jug.
Delmonico makes it to Omaha in a blizzard and heads to the hotel. ::)
with the blizzard howling outside, the boys at the ranch shovel on a little more coal to keep em warm. begining to get hungry a ham is brought from the smoke house and the fire in the stove is started.
Trinty stops thinking he's home in NC and realizes that it is cold and snowing in Newbrassssskey. He decides to go inside before his legs are frostbit. :o
Trinity comes in, sits his jug in a safe place and backs hisself up to the stove.
Someone makes a comment about the fact that Trinity appears to be sweating. "Ah ain' sweatin'... Ah's thawin'"
As Trinity's smolderin' pants and coat catch fire, Delmonico finishes his shoppin' and boards the west bound CB&Q. ;D
Trinity runs around the stove and out the back door and jumps out into the snow.
Trinity comes back in after the fire is out. Just enough of his union suit is left undamaged so that he doesn't embarrass any of the other folks in the kitchen.
Trinity points at his head, and with a wide grin he says: "Looky! Ah ain' gotta git no hayre cut fer another three months now."
Slim collects eggs and milk. He makes ham, eggs, biscuits and gravy." Trinity yer gonna have ta at least wash yer hands fer lunch." ::)
"What fer? Tha fahr prolly keeled awl tha germs."
but to make sure he gets to eat, he sticks his hands out real far and splashes a little soapy water on them,
he feels faint so he sits down.
Delmonico makes it to Dunning on the train, he stops at the hotel for the night, ;D he has a large crate unloaded off the baggage care and stored in the depot. ::) :o ;)
"Tha soap is makin' me dizzy!"
Trinity sees a clean spot and faints so dead away that he falls hard. Delmonico feels the vibrations in the resteraunt where he is eatin' supper. ;D
monkey runs in and throws a little dirt in Trinity's face from his floor in the back.
Once again, Trinity is revived through the help of Monkey. "Thanks lil feller. Ah weren't failin' quot lahk mase'f. Ah fail better now."
Delmonico rides up on Reuben and a freight wagon follows. A large crate is locked in the workshop. Delmonico pays off the driver who heads back to Dunning. Delmonico comes inta the house and heads straight to his room. ::)
"Say, Ozark? Whatcha reckon he done brought back wif'im theeus tahm?"
...
...
Wha'll yer reckonin', wontcha pass tha jug on over hair?"
here's the jug, I had'nt give it much thought, but it can't be nothing that'll freeze, it was a right fancy box, fer a box.
just think Del come a riding a ruben in ;D just think if ya had a ruben samwich that size.
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on March 05, 2007, 08:09:45 PM
here's the jug, I had'nt give it much thought, but it can't be nothing that'll freeze, it was a right fancy box, fer a box.
just think Del come a riding a ruben in ;D just think if ya had a ruben samwich that size.
Trinity says nothing. Ozark looks over to make sure he's still awake and sees Trinity staring glassy eyed off into the distance and drooling profusely.
snap out of it now, ole Ruben ain't no samwich, he'd be too tough :o
"Dernit! Dontcha know never ta wake me from a draim 'bout food! It's dangermous. Kinda lahk wakin' a slaipwalker."
maybe Del brought some of them Omaha beefs home with him, maybe a crate of steaks.
:o :o :o "That does it! Ah jus' gotta know."
we'll have monkey watch the door and go see what we can find out.
"Ain' no use runnin' tha risk of discov-er-ee. Ah'll wait hair wif tha jug whilst you go an' check. If'n Dail comes out hair, Ah'll cough rail loud."
Ozark and monkey sneak around the edge of the house and look around outside the work shop , monkey jumps up to the high window and peeks in.
Curiosity gets tha better of Trinity after Ozark and Monkey are gone for about 10 minutes. He comes out to see Monkey scratchin hiz haid an Ozark tryin to look in tha workshop winder. Trinity sez Ozark tha winder iz too dirty let me clain it fer ya. Trinity wipes the winder with his sleeve, now its even dirtier than before. All any of them can see is the outline of a large crate. Delmonico looks on from his bedroom window and laughs.
"Dern! Ah kain' b'lieve Dail done let tha winder git so dirty." Trinity pulls his handkerchief from his pocket and wipes again. The dried boogers scratch up the window so badly that no one will ever be able to see in again.
one of the boogers cuts the glass like a diamond, the window pane falls out and the window is now open :o
Delmonico is standin' on the porch with a shotgun loaded with rock salt, "go ahead, make my day." ;D
he musta have installed one of the silent a larms,
Trinity looks over at the porch. Daihl I wuz jest tryin ta clean tha winder!
Trinity leans against Del's workshop with one elbow and smiles. "Wail hey thar, Dail! Whatcha doin' out hair? Who? Ozark an' Me? Wail, we heard a noise over hair an' wanned ta make shore that yer box... er... shayud is safe an' soun'."
Ozark starts around the side of the barn and tells Trinity, we best look for that noise around the back side of the barn, they dissapear round the corner. with monkey close behind
Slim steps out on the porch ta watch the entertainment. ;D
With another lick on Delmonico's face, his silent alarm Duke keeps guard. ;D
"Oooh! Ah hert 'em too, Ozark. Less go git'em!" They draw up just out of Del's sight. "That shore was close. Shoulda knowed ol' Dail would have trick glass in that winder! An Loook! Ah done dropped mah hankie back yonder, dernit!"
As Trinity trips over the string that sets off a bunch a cans with pebbles in them ta rattlin' the boom of a shotgun and the sound of #2 rock salt hittin' flesh is heard on the ranch. ;D
see Trinity, I told ya that wasn't no potted meat can :o
"Do it agin, Del. Do it agin." ;D
Instead, Delmonico takes the empty crate out inta the yard and chops it fer kindlin'. ;D
Duke wanders over and sniffs the hankie that Trinity dropped and faints!
"I thought Del was bad enough last year ta not need any wood." ???
that thar is just kinlin to start the coal
"Mah rump shore does hurt! Wha'ss Duke doin' layin' out in tha yard lahk that?"
Delmonico says, "Duke it's safe now, he don't know where I hid it." ;D
Trinity walks gingerly over to look for his handkerchief.
A rat runs by with it. ;D
Trinity chases after the rat yelling "Come back hair wif that thang! It done been in tha fambly fer fo generations!"
Upon findin' that out it scares the rat so bad it drops deap of fright. ;D
<Note: The sheep (spit) herders gonna but upset about the rat.> ::)
Quote from: Delmonico on March 07, 2007, 07:51:08 PM
Upon findin' that out it scares the rat so bad it drops deap of fright. ;D
<Note: The sheep (spit) herders gonna but upset about the rat.> ::)
;D
Naw, but the Gost Rat is; Chomp!,; Yeaow!!! :o
Looks like Dell's found out bout 'Excruciating Pain'; heh, Heh, HEH! :o
:P
;D :D ;D
::)
8)
Trinity retrieves his handkerchief and with a sigh of relief he shoves it back into his pocket. "Gramps woulda been right angry wif me if''n he'd knowed what jes' happent."
Quote from: Marshal harpoluke on March 07, 2007, 09:12:11 PM
;D
Naw, but the Ghost Rat is; Chomp!,; Yeaow!!! :o
Looks like Dell's found out bout 'Excruciating Pain'; heh, Heh, HEH! :o
:P
;D :D ;D
::)
8)
P.S. (authors note) Ghost Rat is still a little peaved bout Dell's messing up the Winter solstice by a day. :o
Look at all the Weird Effects. :P
:o
<<Arthur's note: I don't get it. Winter Solstice was in December. Why is the ghost rat holding a grudge for so long?>>
Quote from: Trinity on March 08, 2007, 09:32:09 PM
<<Arthur's note: I don't get it. Winter Solstice was in December. Why is the ghost rat holding a grudge for so long?>>
;D
Its a Long Tail Memmery. :o
Whars the global warming Komrad Kommisar Gore promised? >:(
Ghost rat takes His time, He likes to plot. :D
:o
8)
<<You're rambling... I really don't know what you are trying to say.>>
Quote from: Trinity on March 08, 2007, 09:48:53 PM
<<You're rambling... I really don't know what you are trying to say.>>
Nobody ever does. ::)
Quote from: Trinity on March 08, 2007, 09:48:53 PM
<<You're rambling... I really don't know what you are trying to say.>>
;D
Still snowed in in Spring, You'll been blaming Slim, but its Dell's Fault. :P
:o
:P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P
;D :D ;D
8)
<<You are mistaken. Spring begins on March 21. I don't know what kind of crazy calendars you sheep marshals use. ::) NOW! Let's return to the story, ok?>>
he's probably operating under the assumsation that we got calanders out to the ranch, you know just like if we had clocks we'd have to be setting them an hour ahead on Sunday :o ;D
You've got a clock? :o :o ;D
Quote from: Trinity on March 09, 2007, 08:48:05 PM
You've got a clock? :o :o ;D
now what would I do with a clock, I go by sun time, when it comes up I gets up and eats, when it goes down I eat and goes ta bed.
ain't ya never heard that song living on Turkey Time. ;D
Delmonico goes to his room and listens to Ot and Trinity argue about the clocks and calanders, he decides they have given up on lookin' for the item he brought back from Omaha. As he lays down on his bed thinkin'about what he is gonna do next, Duke jumps up on the bed and Delmonico gets a wavy motion from his new water bed. ::)
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/waterbe.jpg)
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on March 09, 2007, 08:56:15 PM
now what would I do with a clock, I go by sun time, when it comes up I gets up and eats, when it goes down I eat and goes ta bed.
ain't ya never heard that song living on Turkey Time. ;D
"Naw. Kain' quot say that Ah have hert that sawng. Done hert of "
Livin' on Borryd Tahm", but never "
Turkey Tahm".
Quote from: Delmonico on March 09, 2007, 10:01:17 PM
Delmonico goes to his room and listens to Ot and Trinity argue about the clocks and calanders, he decides they have given up on lookin' for the item he brought back from Omaha. As he lays down on his bed thinkin'about what he is gonna do next, Duke jumps up on the bed and Delmonico gets a wavy motion from his new water bed. ::)
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/waterbe.jpg)
<<Reminds me of a girl I dated in high school. She had a water bed. :o ;D>>
<Authors Note, did ya check out the date on the catalog, did ya, did ya? It's for real.)
As the waves stop, Delmonico can't wait to show Trinity his other surprises. ;D
While talking to Ozark Tracker, a cold chill suddenly runs down Trinity's spine.
<Arthur's note: Kewl. Water beds in 1877.>
Slim walks past Del's room and hears water sloshing. "Del musta drunk too much water agin."
Trinity hears the sloshing as well. Worried, he breaks down the door and finds that Del is not in his room, but Duke is rolling about on the water bed trying unsuccessfully to get up.
Slim throws a loop and pulls Duke outta Del's bed. "That's one strange bed. It's movin' on it's own. ::)"
"It looks lahk that jallerton stuff what Dail hates."
are ya sure tha ain't something else in there, it's still moving. :o
"Ah don' know. Don' look lahk nothin's strugglin'."
but just to be on the safe side, Trinity opens his pocket knife and pkuts it between his teeth and dives in.
Duke grabs Trinity before he can get to the bed. He shakes him and drops him out the window. ;D
"Boy, that's a strawng dawg. Oooh! Looky, a skink!"
When Trinity bends over to pet the skink it clamps down on his nose.. ;D
"Dern lil' thang! Git offa mah nose!!" >:(
Delmonico shoots the skink off of Trinity's noses with a large rubber band. ;D
He then shoots Trinity with rubber bands. ;D
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/rubberbands.jpg)
(Same Catalog) ;D
Meanwhile the bed has continued to move and Slim thinks there might be a critter trapped in there, that would explain why Duke was rolling around on it. Just to be safe Slim goes and gets his Mighty 10, and with the barrels leading the way he slowly eases into Del's bedroom.
Slim cocks both barrels...
Duke also grabs Slim and shakes him and tosses him out the window. Duke unloads the Mighty 10 and makes it safe, he then gets back on the bed and enjoys the wave action. ;D
Slim stands up, dusts hisself off, and picks up the "Mighty Ten". He loads both chambers and goes into Del's room. He points the barrels at the movin' bed, cocks both hammers, and pulls both triggers.
BOOM!!!!!!
The room fulls with smoke. After the smoke clears, Slim sees the bed and Duke are covered with rubber bands. ::)
about that time, Bambino comes crawling out from under the rubber bands where he had hibernated during the long cold winter :o, he jumps on his hoss and gallops off. yelling back, say hi ta brother Trinity. :o
no wonder that bed was lumpy
;D
"Was that mah brother on LIT's hoss?"
musta been, I wondered why we ain't seen him all winter,
"He likes ta hibernate. He thanks he's a bear."
I reckon he musta took off somewhere to get something ta eat. he's gotta be hungry after all winter long
"Prolly wants a plate of banes ... an' ta sail LIT's hoss."
<Authors Note, See Gunsmoke thread, Trinity dared me.>
Delmonico makes Trinity and Slim help him put the feather tick back on his bed, Duke sits in the corner and snarls at them for destroyin' the really neat new bed. ::)
Delmonico says to Trinity after Slim leaves, "Mrs. Trinity asked me to pick this up fer you on my trip, it's OK, I promised not to tell the other guys you sometimes wet the bed." ;D
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/ppp.jpg)
:o :o
"Ah done tolt Sherlene that Ah speelt some recipe whilst drankin' mah midnight snack. That WEREN'T what she thought it were!"
Trinity stomps home and tells Sherlene about the confusion she has caused, but she still cuts him off all liquid by 8 o'clock
Pouting, Trinity sulks out onto the porch... where he has a jug waiting.
Sherlene throws Trinity his device from the catalog.
if he's gonna drink that jug full, she don't want no accidents
<Authors Note, it may have not been an accident.> :P
Upset, Trinity shouts "Tha onliest acciden' was you nudgin' mah arm when Ah was a-drankin'!"
Trinity hears the lock turn on tha cabin door!
Delmonico gets a pan of warm water and his lock pick. ;D
When he gets to the door, he finds that Trinity has bolted it from inside.
Delmonico knocks on the door and whispers, "Trinity open the door", Trinity sleepwalks over and unbolts the door and goes back to bed.
Delmonico places Trinity's hand in the warm water for 3 minutes, he then takes his pan and goes back to the ranch house. ;D
Trinity wakes up suddenly.
"Dernit woman! Ya done made me speel mah jug agin!" >:(
Sherlene points to Trinity's jug, corked and on the table in the kitchen. ;D
"Then ya musta done poured it on me. Whah in tarnation would ya do somethin' lahk that?"
Sherlene tosses a match one the bed, it goes out. ;D
"Oh..." Trinity stares at the dead match for a few moments. "They weren't no need ta pour no water on tha baid. Ah tolt ya Ah was gonna git ridda theeyum bugs this weekend."
Trinity suddenly belches, and as the vapors pass over the smoldering match a WHOOSH is heard as a cloud of flame erupts in tha bedroom. Trinity looks over to see Sherlene with an irritated look, tapping her foot as smoke curls from tha remains of her hairdo and eybrows! :o
;D
hearing about the fire over at Trinity's Ozark is reminded that tomorrow is the Vernal equinox
Yes, our good friend Vern ;D
;D :D ;D
(Marshal's Note) Ghost-Rat say's " Dell better get the Equinox right this time".
:P
>:(
:o
;D :D ;D
with the warm weather returnning to the country side, Trinity goes over to see Sod Buster and pick up a load of Corn, when he gits back he and Sherlene start their spring cleaning and filling of their mash barrells and start the still with the last of the mash left over from the winter stash.
Soon, Trinity is hearing the soothing bubbling, hissing and gurgling sounds of recipe being made.
Trinity lets out a contented sigh "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh".
with the first still a cooking, Trinity sends Sherlene to start the other 19,
Trinity sits back in his chair and uncorks a jug of his special reserve from last year's "harvest".
Hollering after Sherlene "Now don' git them fahrs too hot now, hear?"
after takeing a drink, Trinity counts his reserve jugs, seeing he's only got 20 or 30 gallons left over, so he hollers at Sherlene, hurry on along and get them fires a going.
"That thar is a good woman! Ya wan' another slug, Frankenbird?"
;D
Looks like things are back to normal...?...? :o
;D :D ;D
::)
Not having heard from Sherlene, Trinity goes to check how far along she is with the other stills.
Trinity finds Sherlene asleep down by # 19, they's a good shade tree down yonder.
The only one fer 20 miles. ;D
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/arrow.jpg)
(Authors Note: The little arrow is a man standin' there.)
that's probably Trinity a standing in the shade after he run Sherlene off to start the other stills.
I had it up full, there are 3-4 very stunted cedars that were sheltered from prairie fires, there ain't no shade in that picture, most likely ain't today and that is an 1888 picture. ;D
"Whooo! It shore is hot out hair doin' awl this work. Tahm fer a nap. Ah hope Sherlene don' be takin' no more breaks. I gotta have mah recipe ready fer sale!"
Trinity doesn't realize that Sherlene iz gettin heat stroke, cuz he done burnt tha hair offen her haid.
Trinity tells Sherlene, don't worry none bout yer hair, we got the mop there at the house, you can just use it fer a hair piece, till yer hair grows out.
"Don' you worry none. It don' look that bad, Sherlene. Mah aint Mable hadta wayre one after she lawst her hayre spinnin' wool fer uncle Hubert's christmas sweater."
with Sherlene a wailing to beat the band, Trinity heads to the ranch to get on the coal oil computer and find Shelene a wig.
Finding Delmonico on the coal oil computer, Trinity goes up to his old room and digs out his coon skin cap. "This orta work fer Sherlene jus' fahn!"
Trinity and Sherlene head to their cabian, Sherlene wearin' the coonskin cap on her head, Trinity wearin' a copper boiler on his head. ;D
Trinity struggles with his new "hat". "Didja haveta seat this dang thang so firm?"
sherlene has brought along a big metal spoon and twangs Trinity's pot.
By the time Trinity's ears stop ringing and his eyes stop spinning they are at the cabin.
Sherlene locks the door from the inside and leaves Trinity outside. ::)
Still struggling with the pot, Trinity manages to wedge his thumbs in and gets them stuck but still doesn't loosen the pot any. He begins to wimper at the door.
Sherlene unlocks the door and Trintiy moves closer, Sherlene swings the screen door open and it hit's Trinity's metal hat and rings his ears and makes him stumble backwards falling off the porch and landing by the steps
In falling, the pot becomes wedged even lower, now covering his eyes.
"Hey! Who turnt out tha lahts!??"
litl trinity, being paw's little helper, comes over with his new hammer, and begins banging the pot over Trinity's head and eyes driving it down further,
all the while howling Paw, Paw, are you in there?
Now completely dazed Trinity begins to stumble around making loud gonging noises everytime he bangs into a rock.
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on March 29, 2007, 06:37:52 PM
Now completely dazed Trinity begins to stumble around making loud gonging noises everytime he bangs into a tree.
<Authors Note, go back to the first page a reread LIT, we ain't got no trees, this is the Sandhills of Newbrassky in the 1880's ;D>
<Arthur's note: Of course we have trees, I planted 'em on page 8. ;D >
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on September 27, 2004, 10:13:59 AM
"The wife and kids are well. I will start planting the trees after I get some grub. Is there anything round here ta eat?"
<That was only 2 1/2 years ago, they ain't very big yet.>
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/arrow.jpg)
Slim's worst nightmare. ;D
Arthurs Note: <Modeefied to be PC Del>
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on March 30, 2007, 03:36:38 AM
Arthurs Note: <Modeefied to be PC Del>
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
On to Anti Arbor Day, Save The Prairie. ;D
"Don't noboby be touchin' my trees!" >:(
A few trees by the house and along the river for a bit of shade are fine, but don't be planting more than that. ::)
"I didn't." ;)
A wagon pulls up to Sod Buster's with some genuine Johnny Appleseed seedlings to plant.
<<Author's note: John Chapman died in 1845 but seedlings from his trees crossed the plains>>
After plantin' his seedlin's, Sod buster poses with his trees for a travelin' photographer.
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/SBapor.jpg)
Slim comes wanderin' in from Sod Buster township and falls into the Dismal River, ;D ::)
Sod Buster waters his new Apple Trees and dreames lazily of Apple Brown Betty. ;D
then both of em remember there's a cold snap going on, Sod Buster puts some straw around his apple trees , Del looks out the window toward the Dismal and sees a frozen Slim walking toward the house, just able to move his feet.
Delmonico locks the door so Slim don't drip on the floor. ;D
just before Slim freezes solid on the front porch, Del goes out and bends Slims elbow to straight out and adjusts his fingers so they can hold ceegars
Sod Buster brings Slim a jug of Apple Jack to help warm him up.
Somewhere in the distance, Trinity hears the uncorking of the jug and comes running.
Trinity gets to the porch and gets a ceegar out of Slim's frozen hand and then takes a match out and strikes it across Slim's ear
Since there is no humidity right now, Slim not only freezes byt he dries. :o Delmonico says, "since Slim is freeze-dried we can just toss him in the bathtub and pour hot water over him when we need him for the spring round-up."
Trinity pours hisself another drink and spills some on freeze dried Slim, then leans over close enough for his seegar to set off the alcohol, it burns off Trinty's eye brows.
Relieved to be back in the company of friends and no longer encumbered with the pot on his head, Trinity doesn't mind having eyebrows singed off. After taking a long gulp of Sod Buster's Apple Jack, Trinity thanks Slim for the cigar.
with Slim still lin flames from the reciepe spilt on him, Ozark grabs the dish water in the kitchen and tosses it on him to put out the fire, the dish water rehydrates Slim.
A little water splashes on Trinity causing him to run around the yard screaming as if in agony.
when Trinity comes back to the porch, he announces he has had his yearly bath now, won't need none no more till next year.
"It were a mite early fer mah baf but leastways Ah got it overwith. Hey Sleeeum, yer Ah-brows look lahk mahn."
Sod Buster bends over and picks up a couple of wolly catepillers. He places them on Slim where his eyebrows used to be.
All the others laugh and pass the jug around.
One of the caterpillars stays put while the other wanders. After a short while it begins to spelunk Slims nose.
now Slim looks like he's got one fuzzy eyebrow and a half a moustache :o :o
"Looky! Tha moustache is gettin' smawller!"
after the wooly worm dissappears in Slim's nose, Slim starts going, aahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Slim's screaming causes the other one to start to roam.
It heads down Slim's back and down into the waistband of Slim's trousers, it heads on deeper and srarts to crawl up Slim's.....................................................................
<Never mind, that would be to mean to do to a catter-piller.?
BTW arcoss from the ally from me ther are catter-pillers, but they ain't furry and are kinda an ugly yaller, also a bit to big to crawl up Slim's nose. ::)
Slim sneezes.
That takes care of catter-pillar #1. ;D
Slim runs and jumps in the stock tank.
The catter-pillar crawls in deeper. ;D
Tha caterpiller Slim sneezed out iz propelled thru the air and sticks on Trinity's upper lip. When it recovers from the shock it begins to crawl up Trinity's nose. Slim pulls himself out of the stock tank and begins to freeze up again.
Trinity's nasal passage is so full of miscellaneous objects that the caterpillar becomes lodged. Noticing the blockage, Trinity takes in a deep breath, blocks the open nostril and blows the caterpillar and other debris out against the side of the house.
HandTub gives ya' all a good soakin ta cleans ya all up
hows y'all u doin good to be back on cas city
Trinity successfully sidesteps the bath and takes a seat. Taking up his jug he holds it out to HandTub. "Wailcome! Wontcha sit a spail?"
Trinity finds a can of potted meat in the cupboard and opens it to see what flavor he has found.
"Ooooh! This'n done turnt grane" *sniff* *sniff* "Has a pee-culiar oder ta it." Trinity takes a bite. "Whew! pee-culiar taste too. Ah thank this'n ain no good no more." :o
Quote from: Trinity on April 09, 2007, 08:56:51 PM
"Ooooh! This'n done turnt grane"
That's the vegetable content making itself known. :o
"They ain' no vegetimables in hair! >:( Ah done checked." Trinity hands the can to Sod Buster. "Hair, have yose'f some."
Uh...no thanks. I already had my veggies for the day....and some of 'em just came back up after looking at & smelling that can.
'Cuse me........<Sod Buster runs off as he feels his stomach gurgling>
Trinity shrugs, tilts his head back and taps the bottom of the can, knocking the remnants into his mouth.
"Ah could tale he was hongry 'cause Ah could hair heeyus belly rumblin'. Even so, but he din' wanna tak mah meal. Nice feller!"
Trinity slowly begins to turn the same color green that the potted meat was.
Trinity looks in a mirror at himself. "Dernit! Sain' Patty's day was a momf ago." >:(
Trinity seats himself on the porch and wonders where everybody has gone. "Don' no one hardly show up no more. :("
Slim comes out the door with a cup of coffee. "Howdy Trinity."
Startled, Trinity jumps "Oh! Howdy Sleeeum. Izzat corfee fer me? Thankee, that is jes what tha doctor ordered."
"It sure is. Sure is a nice day."
Trinity sits quietly with his arm outstretched waiting for the coffee while Slim stares across the yard ignoring him.
"Oh, sorry." ::) Slim hands the cup ta Trinity.
"Why thankee pard!" Trinity sips the coffee. "I'ss a mite tepid. Kin ya wawm it up a little?"
"With this?" ;D
(http://www.ted-kyte.com/3D/Pictures/Blow%20Torch%20Old.jpg)
Slim sticks a Lucifer, lights the torch, and starts warmin' Trinity's cup that he is holdin'. :o
Watching the deer that just ambled into the yard for their evening snack, Trinity is not paying attention to what is happening. That is until he notices the scent of burning flesh.
AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHH!
Delmonico is workin' in the kitchen when he smells the burnin' flesh, he looks out the window, sees what Slim is doin' and closes the window. ;D
"H-H-Hot... that's hot enough, thanks!"
"Okay." Slim turns the torch off. ;D
Trinity goes to put the coffee cup down and finds that its welded to his hand.
Delmonico gets a hammer and cold chisel, removes the cup and washes it. ;D
"Kin ah have mah nose pickin' fanger back, please?"
Delmonico glues it back on with flour paste. ;D
Slim sits on the porch and "screws" his hat done so it don't blow off. :o "Storm's a comin'."
Trinity begins to raise his hand to pick his nose as a gust of wind blows the finger off and into the yard. "Dail! That thar paste din' hole too good."
Frankenbird, who has been sitting quietly, sees the finger going across the lawn and jumps on it, thinking he is the early bird getting the worm. :o
Frankenbird bites down on Trinity's finger only to chip his beak. It seems that the finger was little more than one tough callous. Trinity didn't get it this way through work but by vigorously picking his nose.
Delmonico is eatin' as he reads this (dumb idea) and decides to go throw up bannana. :P
A gust of wind picks up Trinity's finger and blows it toward the barn where it sticks to Del's Steam Tractor Engine. The finger is slightly bent as if saying, "C'mere n lookit this!"
Trinity runs up and asks "What?"
Delmonico glues Trinity's finger on with some hide glue and sews it in place till the glue dries. ;D
"Dail, mah fanger used ta beeyund t'tha other dye-rection. :o ...An' is it 'posed ta burn so bad?"
Quote from: Trinity on April 24, 2007, 06:58:12 PM
"Dail, mah fanger used ta beeyund t'tha other dye-rection. :o
Was a birth defect, I fixed it. ;D
Quote from: Trinity on April 24, 2007, 06:58:12 PM
"...An' is it 'posed ta burn so bad?"
Yep, till it heals. ::)
Quote from: Delmonico on April 24, 2007, 07:00:19 PM
Yep, till it heals. ::)
Trinity, didn't yer Maw give you that talk about if it's a burning, an itching or hurting just means it's a healing
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on April 24, 2007, 07:04:53 PM
Trinity, didn't yer Maw give you that talk about if it's a burning, an itching or hurting just means it's a healing
Or infected. ;D
"Naw, she always tolt me ta hesh up. Ah did git a burnin' sen-sation onct, but Ah was tol' it weren't po-lyte ta tawlk 'bout thayut."
Quote from: Trinity on April 24, 2007, 07:36:19 PM
"Naw, she always tolt me ta hesh up. Ah did git a burnin' sen-sation onct, but Ah was tol' it weren't po-lyte ta tawlk 'bout thayut."
I could get the needle and the mercury stuff if need be. ;D
:o :o "Nope! T'ain' neccessary. That was a whal back. Sherlene won't have me goin' "a-visitin' " no more." :(
Sod Buster pulls up in his wagon with an Apple Tree as a gift.
HAPPY ARBOR DAY!
He quickly exists......stage right.
Delmonico is happy for the apple tree, "We need a few trees around the houses for shade and a few down along the crick for shade for the callte, but that is plenty, we don't want ta forest the whole state like that durned polly-teat-ion down to Newbrassky City wants to do. We need land to farm and pasture for the cattle." ;D
"Don' need no pastures fer tha cattle. They won' be happy a'tall. Ah hair cows is only happy in Californy.
"Stranger, if'n ya got any more of theeyum trays, brang'em wif ya an' we'll go ta Steel site number 'lebenteen. Ah got's me a ahdear."
Quote from: Trinity on April 27, 2007, 06:54:20 PM
"Don' need no pastures fer tha cattle. They won' be happy a'tall. Ah hair cows is only happy in Californy.
"Stranger, if'n ya got any more of theeyum trays, brang'em wif ya an' we'll go ta Steel site number 'lebenteen. Ah got's me a ahdear."
An "Ahdear" ??
Does it involve Apple Brown Betty?
"Shhhh! Don' mention that name 'roun' Sherlene. She don' cotton much ta ol' Betty. Ah was a-thankin' of sumpin' strawnger... sumpin' lahk a cider or mebbe a brandy."
Sod Buster produces a jug of Apple Jack.
"You mean like this?"
Sod Buster takes a swig an passes the jug.
"Have a tug, pard"
Trinity pulls on the bottle and hisses. "Yep! Tha's goooooooooooood. Tha's what Ah was thankin' 'bout. Thankee."
My pleasure <hic>
"Say, whar didja get theeus. Didja make it er buy it."
Some guy came by plantin' Apple Trees. He gave it to me. My trees should be mature enough next year to make some.
"He didn't happen ta have a pot on his haid, did he? That feller makes some good Applejack, but Ah don' quot approve of his fermentational standards."
Author's note: See Nebrassky thread - page 909:
http://www.cascity.com/forumhall/index.php/topic,974.msg181978.html#msg181978
"Heck, that was at tha beginnin' of tha momf. Ah kin hardly 'member the day afore yestidy. So, it is him. He's awlways in sech a rush that he don' 'llow enough tahm fer tha fermentationalizin'. Ah'll have ta drank five tahms as much." ;D
When Trinity and Sodbuster look for the jug for another drink it is no where to be found. :o ::)
Meanwhile down in the celler Delmonico is puttin' some acetic bacteria in the jug, he corks it and hides it way back on the shelf behind things. "This will be some really good Vineagar" he says to himself.
"See what Ah done tolt ya! We musta drank tha whole thang an' Ah don' feel nothing. Here." Trinity pulls a jug out from under the porch. "Less have some good stuff now."
Ozark comes out of the house, down the steps and peeks under the porch, looks around at Trinity and asks if he's seen the coal oil jug, I need to fill up the lanterns.
Trinity looks down at the jug he just finished. :o :o "Looks lahk Ah'm gonna have me a achin' haid tomorry." :(
Delmonico comes out with Trinity's blankets, "you better sleep in the barn tonight, last time you drank the coal oil you had gas really bad." ;D
as luck would have it, at least it's warm enough we ain't got no open fires going. ;D
Everybody stares at Trinity as he turns red and Duke starts angrily barking at him.
Run, they may be an explosion
Suddenly Delmonico passes out.
Slim steps on the porch. "What's y'all doin'..." Slim passes out. :o
Trinity stares at the two crumpled bodies on the floor. "Ozark, ya reckon Ah orta step offa tha po'ch? Ozark? ... Ah gess Ah'd best do that afore someone gits hurt."
monkey comes running outa the barn with a little bucket of water to revive everybody, but doesn't make it quite to the porch before he passes out.
Seeing this, Clea decides not to go near the porch, but remembers that Frankenbird's sense of smell was never correctly connected when Delmonico grafted his head on. Clea runs off in the direction of the saloon in town to look for him.
;D
The foul smell of Cosie drifts down to Arizona Territory Unfortunatly the Marshal was lighting the Gas stove---Whaump!; the
Flame flashes back across the States n Territories to Nebrassky----Whaumnp! :o
The porch is blackened n covered with soot as are its occupients, just then the cloud burst n put the fire out giving Delminaco, Trinity, Slim N Monkee a bath. :P
The Stench is huge the Skunks come a running. :o
;D :D ;D
::)
8)
Sod Buster starts to crawl home but passes out half-way. That'll teach him for sharin' a jug without knowin' what was in it. <burp> Owww..my head......
With gaseous emissions no longer part of the picture, Trinity wipes the soot from his eyes and looks around. Slim is still on the floor, snoring with Monkey curled up in the crook of his arm. Delmonico can be heard in the kitchen slamming pots and pans around all the while complaining about trees. Duke is standing inside the door looking towards Trinity with his ears down and tail tucked between his legs.
"Whar'd that Stranger git to? Ah wonner if'n he had any of that coal earl."
Sod Buster moans as he lies by the side of the road.
"Ugh....I feel like a cow that ate too much springtime grass. My belly is swollen and feels like it needs to be punctured. :'( Owwwwwwwww"
Dang that Trinity feller...... >:(
No longer hearing Delmonico complaining about trees, Trinity goes into the kitchen to check on him where he learns that Delmonico has left for supplies. Before leaving, however, he had left a cherry pie on the window sill to cool. Trinity begins to drool and it is not long before he has taken the pie down and devoured the entire thing.
On his way to Dunning, Delmonico wonders how Trinity fared with the pie made out of wax cherries. ;D He snickers and then stops the wagon and jumps out with his axe an whacks a small tree growin' along the trail. ;D
Slim walks in as Trinity finishes the pie.
"Sleeeum, d'ya know whar Dail got these-hair cherries? They don't taste right... fact is, they don' taste a'tall." As Trinity talks, chunks of wax are flying out of his mouth.
Irish walks into the kitchen looks at Trinity, then looks at Slim. Irish gets a cup of coffee, looks at Trinity again and just shakes his head as he walks toward the barn.
Slim, knowing about the wax cherries, feeds Trinity a piece of string. ;D :P ::)
Trinity gags and asks "What'th thith thang fer?"
Slim says, "in a day or so we'll have a candle." ;D :P
:P :P
Trinity thinks about it and confused, he asks "How?"
Delmonico arrives in Dunning still grinning about the WAX cherries in the pie. He boards the eastbound CB&Q and heads to Omaha. ;D
"Sleeum, Ah asked how is we gonna git a candle in a few days! Whah won'tcha answer me?"
"You'll find out." ;D
Delmonico has a fresh broiled trout for supper, when done he tosses the head out the window and heads to his Pullman berth. ;D
Irish puts on a fresh pot of coffee and starts to make some stew. He see's Del's recipe for wax cherry pie and decides to whip up another one fer Trinity.
Sleep walking, Trinity comes upon another pie in the window. Two minutes later the only things left are crumbs and a tiny smudge of glaze and Trinity is back in bed.
Tom of course added the string to the pie. ;D
:o
:P
::)
8)
Delmonico gets to Omaha and gets a hotel.
Back at the Ranch everyone settles in for the night.
Sod Buster awakens at the side of the road and continues his quest to get home to his Soddy. Later that evening he arrives, brushes off the dirt and vermin from his bed, and crawls in.
Delmonico leaves the hotel after breakfast and heads shopping. :o
Trinity walks out of the wedgewood room holding two candles in his hand. "Ah wonner why someone lef' thase in tha pot lahk thayut. Good canedles orta not be put ta waste!"
Trinity places the candles in the candle holders on the dinner table and goes out on the porch for a pull on the jug.
Delmonico leaves his packages at the train depot and goes back to the hotel. ;D
Sod Buster begins to wonder if'n Del will ever come back. He's been gone a whole week now.
Delmonico boards the eveneng west bound on the CB&Q. ::)
Quote from: Sod Buster on May 10, 2007, 06:46:32 PM
Sod Buster begins to wonder if'n Del will ever come back. He's been gone a whole week now.
Sod Buster, you think your' a wondering, Trinity's been at the ranch the last week, getting his nutrition from his jug. :o :o
"Ain' foun' no more cane-dles in tha wedgywood room, though."
"Did he ever return,
No he never returned
And his fate is still unlearn'd
He may ride forever
on the C B and Q
He's the man who never returned."
;D
"That ol' Dail an' tha C B & Q. Ah thank he mus' own stock in that rellrerd er sumpin' 'cause he's awlways hitchin' rahds wif theeyum. Ah hope he does come back, though. Ah could go fer some chicken frahd steaks wif milk gravy."
(Authors note: The CB&Q was the RR that ran to )Omaha, BTW I went over that line in a passenger train in the summer of 62.)
Trinity walks into the kitchen upset. "Dernit. No chicken frahd steaks last night an' no aigs an' bacon this mornin'. What is this rainch comin' ta?" :(
"Ah reckon Ah'll bawl some water fer corfee."
Irish looks at the somewhat stupefied Trinity and hands him a cup of fresh hot coffee. It's all right Trinity, Del will be home soon. Slim is out getting some aigs and Stoney is getting some sausage from the smokehouse, breakfast will be ready shortly.
The CB&Q pulls into the station in Dunning. ;D
howdy gospel micah good ta see a new pard in town here in the midwest hang around don't be a stranger
Delmonico arranges to have his goods freighted to the ranch and then gets Reuben from the livery stable and heads to the ranch to seen what mess Slim has caused while he was gone. ;D
Slim brings in the eggs and milk. He put 'em in the icebox.
<Arthur's note: Slim don't cause messes. ::) >
Sod Buster rides over the the Ranch to eagerly await Delmonico's return. I wonder what goodies he has brought (or hath wrought)? ;D
Delmonico rides into the ranch, puts Reuben in the barn and heads to the kitchen to fix some supper. ;D
<<-- Sees Del headed for the kitchen, jumps up on Tacoma 'n points 'er ta Golden Corral..........
Quote from: Arcey on May 11, 2007, 06:04:16 PM
<<-- Sees Del headed for the kitchen, jumps up on Tacoma 'n points 'er ta Golden Corral..........
Wait for me Brother !!
<dives into the back end
Delmonico looks at the dust headin' southeast and wonders if they will make the 150 miles to Grand Island before the Golden Corral closes. ;D
Ozark comes riding in on his mule, when he gets to the house, he grabs his poke and goes in the house, goes into the kitchen and lays 2 whole pork loins on the table fer Supper,
I went up town and helped a fellar do some butcheriing, and he gave me some loins fer helping.
10ZZZ and Arcey make it to the Golden Corral in Grand Island before closing time, however they are stopped by a Sign at the door:
Newbrassky Buffet Laws Require that Patrons Parents Not Be Related Before Marriage.
Meanwhile back at the ranch, Delmonico slices up and fies pork loin. ;D
"Dunn", Del.
That seems kind of low. Even from you. I expected better.
Authors Note" It was all I could think of at the time.
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on May 11, 2007, 05:08:25 AM
Irish looks at the somewhat stupefied Trinity and hands him a cup of fresh hot coffee. It's all right Trinity, Del will be home soon. Slim is out getting some aigs and Stoney is getting some sausage from the smokehouse, breakfast will be ready shortly.
"Whah does ever'body awlways lookit me lahk thayut? ??? Stoney's hair? Ah ain' seened him in a coons age. Ah shore could do wif some good ol' breffast sawsage an' a few aigs an' one a OT's pawk loirn er two"
Quote from: Delmonico on May 11, 2007, 10:13:32 PM
10ZZZ and Arcey make it to the Golden Corral in Grand Island before closing time, however they are stopped by a Sign at the door:
Newbrassky Buffet Laws Require that Patrons Parents Not Be Related Before Marriage.
Meanwhile back at the ranch, Delmonico slices up and fies pork loin. ;D
"Welp, Ah reckon Ah kain' go thayre."
Quote from: Trinity on May 12, 2007, 09:14:25 AM
"Welp, Ah reckon Ah kain' go thayre."
Be careful, they check ID. ;D
"Ol' litl rooster ain' been hair in a whal. Ah wonner if'n he din' git frozen over win'er in tha line shack! :o"
I think he done got et up by a sheep. ;D
;)
:o
Naw, The last time Ah saw Him He was being meniced by some Left-winged Baverian Carnivorous ducks. :o
:P
;D
8)
(Authors note) Des Ducks is metal-munching kinda like gremlins that plauged those New-fangle Flying Machines. >:(
Gremlins?
"Mostly, them Bavarians is good folk. They shore do lahk ta drank theyre beer an' likker, but they tawlk funny!"
Quote from: Trinity on May 12, 2007, 05:19:59 PM
"Mostly, them Bavarians is good folk. They shore do lahk ta drank theyre beer an' likker, but they tawlk funny!"
;D
Bavarians is just fine, its Da Ducks. :P
"That ducks tawlk real funny ... if'n ya accidetally step on'em. :o"
Frankenbird looks around the corner of the barn to see what all the talk about ducks is, he's not quite sure what breed of poultry he comes from. :o
Trinity looks at him and the thick, fleshy scar around his neck and shudders. "Kain' he'p ya pard. Ah don' know no maw what you was."
they both look down at his feet and notice that one does have web toes
the other one has 3 spurs. ;D
In honor of the dinner that Del is fixing, Slim decides to set the table, and to make the ambiance right he decides to light the candles that Trinity made.
Unfortunately they are scented candles and soon everyone is driven out of the house! :o
as everybody is standing outside, they are at least thankful it isn't below zero, like a couple of months ago. ;D
Trinity walks into the house and makes an abrupt U-turn.
"What in tarnation happent in thar? It smayuls lahk someone done pooped on tha dinin' room table!"
"I just lit some candles I found." :-[
"Oh! Ah see. Everbody... Sleeum pooted on tha cain-dles!!"
while standing out on the porch, waiting fer the odor to clear out of the house, Trinity hears a noise out by the still behind the barn.
:o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o
"STOP!!! That ain' yer likker! Dern, what is this country comin' ta? Whar's mah shootin' arn!?"
the men take the jusg that they've run off and start to run.
OT grabs his rifle and busts all the jugs.
"There, that'll teach 'em."
Trinity runs as fast as he can and sops up all the spilled likker
He pulls his face out of the mud long enough to shoot a glare at OT but quickly sees another puddle that had not yet absorbed into the ground.
In the meantime, Monkey comes racing out of the barn on Clea's back and throws a lasso around the would be crooks.
Trinity begins to holler to monkey and Clea, to bring them ferllars over by the barn so they can hang em. :o
Trinity picks up a stone from the yard and bangs it on the porch step. "Hair yee, hair yee! Wailcome ta Trinity's cote. Ah pro-nounce tha guilty parties GUILTY!" *BANG*
Trinity herds the criminals into the barn stall and posts Frakenbird to stand guard and he starts rigging up a gallows
However Trinity manages to tie himself up, when Frankenbird comes over to help him, the men run like heck, Slim gives em some rock salt out of his Mighty 10 to hurry them on their way. ;D
Trinity hollers after the men, and don't cha come back round here, I'll hang ya first next time
After a night of being tied up, Trinity calls out "Kin somebody untah me?"
Monkey swings down off'n the roof and unties Trinity, Trinity hurrys off to the shop and returns in a few minutes with a new sign fer around the ranch.
Trinity wipes the paint from his hands on his shirt and looks over his handiwork.
"Thar! Miss Montaner would be prouta me. Now, jes let theeyum theefs come back!"
now with his sign hanging up where everybody can see it, Trinity goes out to the still and sees what damage them vermin thiefs done.
Delmonico is makin' supper and wonderin' when the freight wagons with the stuff from Omaha will get here. ;D
Sod Buster comes riding up and sees the sign.
The though of being"violated" sends shivers up & down his spine. He checks his Remmie to see that all of his cylinders are capped & the shotgun is handy....just incase.
(The real scary thing is Trinity didn't meantion who or what would violate ya.) :o
Ozark comes out of the house and hollers out to Trinity, who is hiding behind the steam traction engine, to see if he's seen any robbers yet.
he asks Sod Buster to come on up on the porch and have a seat so we can watch Trinity hide again.
Delmonico brings supper out to the porch so they can all watch Trinity hide. ;D
Sod Buster joins OT on the porch and pulls the cork on his new batch of peach squeezins. <slurp>
He passes the jug to OT.
the fellars sit on the porch eating and sipping some squeezings, every once in while Trinity pops his head over the traction engine and sometimes he pops out sideways, keeping a watch.
Delmonico says to OT, I had The Steam Traction Engine runnin'today and rolled the road, might be some pressure in it yet. I bet monkey could sneak down there and blow the wistle with out Trinity knowin' he was comin'. ;D
Sod Buster giggles at this thought...and some squeezins come out his nose! :o
they call monkey from the roof and try as best they can to show him what to do, Money sneaks down to the traction engine, just at the time Trinity pops his head up, right beside the whistle, monkey swings down on the chain
Slim comes out ta the porch ta watch the entertainment. ;D
Trinity hardly gets wet as he crosses the Dismal. ;D However it is almost dark when he stops and the hills around him all look alike. ;D
Trinity stops and listens for any familiar sounds, cept he can't hear a thing after that whistle
Trinity decides just to try to find the ranch and heads off in the wrong direction. ::)
Trinity walks back and forth and then in circles hollering and looking
"Dern that bail. Someone needs ta stop rangin' it so's Ah kin hair. Now, jes which dye-rection should Ah take?" Trinity lifts his nose to the air and picks up a scent. Soon he's on his way to still site number five.
Trinity walks up the back way to ole #5 his 3rd most favorite still. but as he gets there he sees with horror
And this time they are armed with shotguns and Trinity is defenseless. ::)
Trinity sees the guns, turns on his heels and streaks out across the lone pra-rie :o bobbing and weaving.
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on May 15, 2007, 09:11:48 PM
Trinity sees the guns, turns on his heels and streaks out across the lone pra-rie :o bobbing and weaving.
<<Author's note: What pra-rie....did you see all them TREES in that photo?? :o :o >>
Quote from: Sod Buster on May 15, 2007, 09:20:03 PM
<<Author's note: What pra-rie....did you see all them TREES in that photo?? :o :o >>
that thar spot on the pra-rie is one of them thar O-a-sis places, a garden spot in the pra-rie, Trinity bobs when he should have weaved and runs into a big tree.
Quote from: Sod Buster on May 15, 2007, 09:20:03 PM
<<Author's note: What pra-rie....did you see all them TREES in that photo?? :o :o >>
Photographers painted backdrop? ;D
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on May 15, 2007, 09:32:24 PM
that thar spot on the pra-rie is one of them thar O-a-sis places, a garden spot in the pra-rie, Trinity bobs when he should have weaved and runs into a big tree.
<<Author's note: Is it midnight? ;D>>
While Trinity is out cold, a little air escapes him and drifts off toward the still where it ignites. The thieves, barely alive, immediately give themselves up to the sheriff out of fear of further retribution from Trinity.
;D
That pic-ture is a river (creek) bottom. Water and fueland cover.
with all the trouble at the stills going on Trinity decides he's got to protect his business interest's. with the only hero Trinity knows about from his big story book, he gets material and rigs him up a hero outfit. he suddleny appears on the front yard.
:o :o :o :o :o
"Ah needs me a theme sawng."
Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
But you can be happy if you've a mind to
Ya can't take a shower in a parakeet cage
Ya can't take a shower in a parakeet cage
Ya can't take a shower in a parakeet cage
But you can be happy if you've a mind to
All ya gotta do is put your mind to it
Knuckle down, buckle down, do it, do it, do it
Well, ya can't go a-swimmin' in a baseball pool
Ya can't go swimmin' in a baseball pool
Ya can't go swimmin' in a baseball pool
But you can be happy if you've a mind to
Ya can't change film with a kid on your back
Ya can't change film with a kid on your back
Ya can't change film with a kid on your back
But you can be happy if you've a mind to
Ya can't drive around with a tiger in your car
Ya can't drive around with a tiger in your car
Ya can't drive around with a tiger in your car
But you can be happy if you've a mind to
All ya gotta do is put your mind to it
Knuckle down, buckle down do it, do it, do it
Well, ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
But you can be happy if you've a mind to
Ya can't go fishin' in a watermelon patch
Ya can't go fishin' in a watermelon patch
Ya can't go fishin' in a watermelon patch
But you can be happy if you've a mind to
Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
SPOKEN: "Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd"
FADE
Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
Transcribed by Robin Hood
Weird, that transcriped by Robin Hood was there when I went to www.cowboylyrics.com ::)
"Thass good a-vice, but Ah don' thank iss tha raht sawng fer me. I need somethin' maw lahk theeus:
I have lost my blue-eyed darling, Now I sit with a broken heart By my cabin in the Carolina hills
Oh I loved a shiner's daughter Loved her true with all my heart Till she fell into her pappy's liker still
(CHORUS)
Oh what a waste of good corn liker From the still they pulled the plug
All the revenuers snickered 'cause she melted in the liker And they had to bury poor Lilly by the jug
Cousin Cale upon the juice harp Played a mighty mournful tune Kinfolks bowed their heads and gathered round
Then I heard the parson sing Drink me only with thine eyes As we watch them pour poor Lilly in the ground
CHORUS
Now I'm sitting in the twilight Neath the weeping willow tree The sun is slowly sinking in the west
And I'm clasping to my bosom A little jug of Lilly Mae With a broken heart I'm longing for her kiss
CHORUS
close, mighty close for a theme song, but just not quite right.
"Wail, what d'ya recommend?"
...
"These taht paints is a might itchy!"
Oh, the liquor was spilt on the barroom floor
And the bar was closed for the night
When out of the hole came a little brown mouse
And sat in the pale moon light
He lapped up the liquor on the barroom floor
And back on his haunches he sat
And all night long you could hear him roar
Bring on the god damned cat!
Meow.
The Philosopher's Drinking Song
Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
who was very rarely stable.
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
who could think you under the table.
David Hume could out consume
Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel,
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
who was just as sloshed as Schlegel.
There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya
'bout the raisin' of the wrist.
Socrates himself was permanently pissed.
John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,
after half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.
Plato, they say, could stick it away,
'alf a crate of whiskey every day!
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,
and Hobbes was fond of his Dram.
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart:
"I drink, therefore I am."
Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed;
A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he's pissed.
-- Monty
How 'bout somthin' like this?
I'm Robin Hood, I take from the rich and give most to the poor,
The rest I spend finding me a dirty old ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Never mind, I'll think some more. ::)
Quote from: Sod Buster on May 18, 2007, 06:51:25 PM
Oh, the liquor was spilt on the barroom floor
And the bar was closed for the night
When out of the hole came a little brown mouse
And sat in the pale moon light
He lapped up the liquor on the barroom floor
And back on his haunches he sat
And all night long you could hear him roar
Bring on the god damned cat!
Meow.
"That ain' real-istic! Ain' no way Ah'm gonna speel likker an' not clane it up!"
Quote from: Sod Buster on May 18, 2007, 06:53:18 PM
The Philosopher's Drinking Song
Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
who was very rarely stable.
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
who could think you under the table.
David Hume could out consume
Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel,
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
who was just as sloshed as Schlegel.
There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya
'bout the raisin' of the wrist.
Socrates himself was permanently pissed.
John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,
after half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.
Plato, they say, could stick it away,
'alf a crate of whiskey every day!
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,
and Hobbes was fond of his Dram.
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart:
"I drink, therefore I am."
Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed;
A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he's pissed.
-- Monty
"Too many big werds."
Quote from: Delmonico on May 18, 2007, 06:55:23 PM
How 'bout somthin' like this?
I'm Robin Hood, I take from the rich and give most to the poor,
The rest I spend finding me a dirty old ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Never mind, I'll think some more. ::)
"That'n soun's good." ;D
:o better run that n thar by Sherlene ;D
"I ain' tellin' her 'bout mah seee=cret Eye=denti-tee. Ah kain' letter see me in these taht yaller paints!"
oh, I see your secret idend ity has gotta be secret, and besides that if she seen ya in them tights she'd slap ya up side the head and wanta know where ya got em.
Trinity looks down. "They do sorta look lahk theeyum paints ol' Beulah wayres." :o
I suppose it'd be easier to just not let Sherlene see em rather than trying to splain ;D
"Ah thank it's baist if'n Ah jes' change outta these thangs. Ah don' feel awl that comfortable in'em."
Unknown to Trinity and Ozark, Delmonico's delivery came today, while they are standing there, Delmonico is under a black hood, there is a flash from the flash powder and Delmonico heads to his work shop with a covered glass plate. ;D
Delmonico leans on his camera and smiles. ;D
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/Photographer.jpg)
Sherlene is in they're cabin lookin' at the photo of Trinity. ;D
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/CopyofRobinHood.jpg)
when Trinity comes in the house, Sherlene shows him the photograph and asks fer an explanation???
well, uh, ah, that ain't me, that fellar's got on a de skys , ya know I wouldn't be a wearng no tight britches, probably some body else.
"'Sides, that feller's got grey skeeyun an' Ah gots whaht skeeyun."
Trinity finally convinces Sherlene that it ain't him, he hurries out to the barn to hide his outfit a little better and meet with his band of merry friends, monkey, frankenbird and Clea
Trinity says to Monkey "That were shore a close cawl! Ah gotta git shut of that cost-oooom."
Monkey screeches in response.
monkey shows Trinity how to swing on the vines in the tree out front of the house, since they ain't many trees in Nebrassky, Trinity decides no need to prac trize that move.
<<True story. Once as a boy, I was swinging on some vines in the yard and they came loose. I fell flat on my back and knocked the air out of me. At first, I could not breathe and then it started coming back, but ever so sloooooooooooowly... I thought I was going to die. I was just 8 years old, so I panicked and ran to my Mother who said "Oh, you just knocked the wind out of yourself. Go sit down and relax.">>
Having made his decision, Trinity goes to the porch for a drink, but he keeps looking back at the vines.
<Arthur's note: One time some of us cousins and such had a get-together at my great aunt and uncle's place. A few of us kids were swingin' on a willow tree branch in the front yard. When I swung on it, it broke. The branch came down on my head. It hurt a bit, but not as such as the scoldin' I got. My great aunt said to take it home and put it in a bucket to make root grow. We planted it along side the house. That was o'er 30 years old. We sold that house in 1978. As far as I know it's still growin' there.>
Trinity, you better not let your brother Bambino see you in that outfit. He'll hit you on top of your head again.
"Naw, ol' Bambino don' hit me atop tha haid. Ma don' lahk it when we scuffle. Pa, on tha other hand, tends ta aig him on."
"Maw don' lahk it when Bambino hits me, but she don' keer none what we do to tha neighbors."
Delmonico sits down at his coal oil computor and looks things over, "Damn, if he wants folks to be nice to each other he's in the wrong thread." ::) After some serious thinkin' he says, "Should I start one called everything all hunky dory? ::) Or would Goody Goody Gumdrops be better?"
Delmonico heads to the Wedgewood room and is very sick. :P
Quote from: Delmonico on May 20, 2007, 08:47:39 PM
Delmonico sits down at his coal oil computor and looks things over, "Damn, if he wants folks to be nice to each other he's in the wrong thread." ::) After some serious thinkin' he says, "Should I start one called everything all hunky dory? ::) Or would Goody Goody Gumdrops be better?"
Delmonico heads to the Wedgewood room and is very sick. :P
;D
Marshal comes in with a large jug of Cod liver Oil, puts it into Dell's stew, sneaks out and gets away,
Dell has an Expunging EXperience! :o :P
::)
8)
Trinity walks into the kitchen and finds Del's stew. Fifteen minutes later the stew is gone. Three minutes after that, Trinity is standing in the middle of the river.
Soon Trinity's belly informs him he is hungry again. Trinity wants to go back to the ranch to eat but he just can't leave the river yet.
Trinity continues to stand there and purge...and get hungry.
Trinity's still standing there in the moon light and begins to sing, Moon River.
then he notices the color of the river in the moon light, and he remembers the time he crossed the Mississippi, and starts humming Big Muddy. ;D
Quote from: gospel micah on May 21, 2007, 02:12:57 PM
Well Trinity you must have been singing we will gather at the river or down by the river. :D ;D
Oddly, no one will join Trinity by the river... or anywhere near the river.
Trinity calls out to anyone that will listen "Somebody plais he'p... Ah'm HONGRY!"
Trinity spies a beaver a floating down the river on a log, so he hides in the shallows. :-\
The beaver notices the change in aroma and uses his tail to paddle to the shore where he gets off and shakes for ten minutes.
as the beaver walks away from the river, he has to get in line behind a family of skunks, who are packed up and leaving the area
Trinity watches the parade leaving the river bank angry that the food is leaving. His belly rumbles and sets off a chain reaction within his body causing the animals to pick up their pace.
Trinity slips in the shallows and the current takes him down the river end over end. ;D Delmonico comes out of the barn with Reuben saddled and as he leaves he sees Trinty in the moon light. He rides away on Reuben singin' "Rollin, Rolin' on the river." ;D
A note on the kitchen table says, "Had to take care of some bizzness, be back in a day or so." ::)
Meanwhile...back at Trinity's house.....Sherleen got tiied of keeping his dinner warm so she feeds it to the kids. She almost looses a figer as Lit'l Trinity scarfs up the grub. ::)
Trinity slams into a log and finally the big wheels stop toinin' and Trinity stops rollin' down the river.
Feeling better, he climbs out of the river and begins his march back home to see if Sherlene has prepared anything for breakfast. On the way, he begins to sing another song:
Here we all work 'long the Mississippi
Here we all work while the white folk play
Pullin' them boats from the dawn till sunset
Gettin' no rest till the judgment day
Don't look up and don't look down
Ya don't dast make the white boss frown
Bend your knees and bow your head
And pull that rope until you're dead
Let me go 'way from the Mississippi
Let me go 'way from the white man boss
Show me that stream called the River Jordan
That's the old stream that I long to cross
Ol' Man River, that Ol' Man River
He must know somepin', but he don't say nothin'
He just keeps rollin', he keeps on rollin' along
He don't plant taters, and he don't plant cotton
And them what plants 'em is soon forgotten
But Ol' Man River, jest keeps rollin' along
You and me, we sweat and strain
Bodies all achin' and wracked with pain
Tote that barge and lift that bale
Ya get a little drunk and ya lands in ja-ail
I gets weary and so sick of tryin'
I'm tired of livin', but I'm feared of dyin'
And Ol' Man River, he just keep rollin' along
as Trinity gets closer to home he has to sing some travelling music to be able to make it.
Big wheel keep on turning
Proud mary keep on burning
And were rolling, rolling
Rolling on the river
Cleaned a lot of plates in memphis
Pumped a lot of tane down in new orleans
But I never saw the good side of the city
Till I hitched a ride on a riverboat queen
Big wheel keep on turning
Proud mary keep on burning
And were rolling, rolling
Rolling on the river
If you come down to the river
I bet you gonna find some people who live
You dont have to worry if you got no money
People on the river are happy to give
Delmonico and Reuben make it to North Platte, he puts Reuben in the libery stable and goes off to do his bizzness. ;D
Trinity shows up at the cabin and throws open the door. He says, "Was fer breffast Sherlene!" After having Trinity miss several meals at home Sherlene's response is to smack Trinity in the head with a fireplace log. She then rolls the unconcious trinity outside and closes and locks the door to the cabin.
Delmonico finishes his bizzness in North Platte and heads back to The Ranch With No Name on Rebuen as fast as he can. :o
Quote from: gospel micah on May 22, 2007, 04:41:48 PM
Oh no !!!!!!!!!!!!!! Delmonicos reubuen ran right over Trinity .Ouch!!!!!!!!!!Hope Trinitys OK. I hope theres a docter around??? :D
;D
Marshal pours "Sheep Dip" Squeezzins on Trinity Pours some down His throute, He revives Instantaly. :o
Trinity Say's, " Wha Happened, Ah is shure hungery, Wont some Lamb Chops." :D
:o
8)
"What fer didja hit me wif that dern' lawg!? Ya been tawlkin' ta Dail agin?"
Sod Buster rides up and sees Trinnity still in the dirt after the clobbering from the log. Sod Buster asks Trinity if'n he has purchased an anniversary gift for Sherlene yet since their one-year anniversary is on July 28. Ya better git yer order in - you wouldnt' want it to be late.
Say...mebbe Del can make ya something? Huh?
Sod Buster offers Trinity his hand and pulls him up.
Delmonico rides into the ranch and sees the burnt down cabin and reads all the posts. "See, what have I tolt you guys, that kind ain't to trust, they have to walk around with a bible in their had and point out they got it and the next thing ya know they either burn down yer house of poop on ya in some way or another. That's why I avoid those type like the plauge."
Delmonico then puts Reuben in the barn and goes to bed. >:(
Quote from: gospel micah on May 22, 2007, 09:06:19 PM
Well Trinity was out somebody set fire to his cabin.all his stuff is gone now Including his tights. :D
delmonico rereads the posts and what he seen the first time was right, he knows we have a bible thumper in our midst that carries his own edition. "Thou shalt lie to cover up what thy has done." ::)
Delmonit starts to build an addition onto the barn.
Delmonico keeps workin' on his addition, he stops and checks on things, he sees the wanna be sky pilot is addin' more lies to cover his tracks, born to early to be a TV evangalist. ::)
Trinity stops walking and says to hisself "JOB" I don't want no job, and what happned to that house and money that I was gonna get, what went with it ??? ??? :o
Delmonico finishes his project and puts up a sign
Delmonico
Justice of the Peace
No Law North of the Platte But His
No God West of Columbus
Sky Pilots, Evangailists, Circuit Riders and other Bible Thumpers Beware
Gospel micah ride in and see,s the sign and says i hope i never run into people like that
Delmonico heads off to the kitchen mumblin' about milchtoasts and greenhorns needin' to know the Nebrassky Sandhills is a rough place and they need to toughen up or head to a milchtoast thread. ???
Quote from: Delmonico on May 23, 2007, 10:54:30 AM
Delmonico finishes his project and puts up a sign
Delmonico
Justice of the Peace
No Law North of the Platte But His
No God West of Columbus
Sky Pilots, Evangailists, Circuit Riders and other Bible Thumpers Beware
LOL!!!!!!!!!!
Cousin Tom. Whut'd I tell ya Saturday?
Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe...........................
;D
Del is still tired n groggy from His sign making and goes into the kitchen to make Coffee', unfortunatly
He mistakes the Dynomite box for the wood box n lights the stove with the Dynomite! :o
KABOOOOOM! :o
Dell Blows Himself up. :P
:o
;D :D ;D
::)
8)
:P
Howdy delmonico aint it grand getting blown up now you can sing this song. STICK of dynamite stick of dynamite cant harm me stick of dynamite stick of dynamite cant harm me stick of dynamite stick of dynamite blew me away and here i stand in the river with out a stratch on me stick of dynamite stick of dynammite cant harm me.ye haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[/quote] . Gospel Micah rides in and trys to put out the fire. but it is no use his house burns to ground.so gospel Micah gives him 10 dollars to build a new one.BUT NO MORE DYNAMITE THINGS GET LOST THAT WaY BE CAREFULL. :-\ :P 8) :o
<<Not quite sure of what happened, the Author decides to pick up at the last sane (Did I say sane?) post>>
Quote from: Sod Buster on May 22, 2007, 10:26:31 PM
Sod Buster rides up and sees Trinnity still in the dirt after the clobbering from the log. Sod Buster asks Trinity if'n he has purchased an anniversary gift for Sherlene yet since their one-year anniversary is on July 28. Ya better git yer order in - you wouldnt' want it to be late.
Say...mebbe Del can make ya something? Huh?
Sod Buster offers Trinity his hand and pulls him up.
"Thankee. Naw, Ah ain' got nothin'. In fact *whispers* Ah plumb fergot!" Suddenly something glass strikes the door inside the cabin.
"Y'awlraht, Snookums?" Trinity yells through the door. Another crash is heard.
"Say, stranger. Ya got inny extry room in yer soddy?"
that musta been a bad dream ya had, bad mash on that last still.
"Did I read that sign right? Del's the Justice of the Peace?" ??? :o ::)
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on May 23, 2007, 09:09:47 PM
"Did I read that sign right? Del's the Justice of the Peace?" ??? :o ::)
Judge, jury and hangman :o
Yep, judge jury and hangman, caught a couple wanna be sky pilots down by the river today.
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/Hanging.jpg)
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on May 23, 2007, 08:57:36 PM
that musta been a bad dream ya had, bad mash on that last still.
"Ah really orta quit drankin' thayut stuff oncet it stahts ta turn!"
Quote from: Delmonico on May 23, 2007, 09:59:24 PM
Yep, judge jury and hangman, caught a couple wanna be sky pilots down by the river today.
<<The auther prefers the Dietz "Air Pilot" lanterns to "sky pilots". ;D>>
(http://www.nitro-pak.com/images/6391b.jpg)
Yep on a them is worth a whole herd of sky pilots, most a them talk about the light and wander round in the dark teyin' to get other folks money. ::)
BTW Trinity, ya still havin' bad dreams about bible thumpers. ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on May 24, 2007, 10:01:12 AM
Yep on a them is worth a whole herd of sky pilots, most a them talk about the light and wander round in the dark teyin' to get other folks money. ::)
BTW Trinity, ya still havin' bad dreams about bible thumpers. ;D
;D
Ah case of Delierum Trama? :P
:o
;D
Musta been somthin Ya drunk. :o
:P
Delmonico sits in his courtroom with no cases, he decides he needs to drum up some buisness and hads Trintiy a Deuputy Sherriff badge and gives him a pisto, with one cartridge which he makes Trinity put in his shirt pocket. ::)
Quote from: Delmonico on May 26, 2007, 03:43:29 PM
Delmonico sits in his courtroom with no cases, he decides he needs to drum up some buisness and hads Trintiy a Deuputy Sherriff badge and gives him a pisto, with one cartridge which he makes Trinity put in his shirt pocket. ::)
Trinity takes the new badge home and tacks it to the wall. He and Lit'l Trinity sit and admire it 'cuz its so shiny. ;D
Delmonico writes up a warrant to have Trinity arrested on dereliction of duty charges, he then needs to decide who to deputize to arrest Trinity.
"Looky up thar, litl trinity... looky how it shahns!"
Together: "Oooooooohhhh!"
"Ah wonner what Ah orta do now. Las' tahm Ah was a depidy ol' Bambino was tha Mershall."
Trinity starts to daydream about the happier times with Bambino....when they weren't fighting over food and ma & pa's....
Bambino rides in with a large string of horses which he announces are for sale.
Gruffly, he confronts Trinity: "What are you doin' with that badge?"
Quote from: Sod Buster on May 26, 2007, 06:51:46 PM
Trinity starts to daydream about the happier times with Bambino....when they weren't fighting over food and ma & pa's....
Trinity recalls the fond memories at Ma & Pa's...
Trinty looks at the back of his hand, the scar where Bambino stuck him with his fork when Trinity reached for the last piece of chicken. :o
"That weren't no chicken. It were an eagle that was flyin' 'roun' tha place one day."
Trinity looks down at the scar and scowls at his brother.
Never being one to waste food, Trinity did fight for that last scrap......
"Ya gotta do what ya gotta do 'roun' that bunch!"
cept fer that turkey buzzard ya found that one time, it were'nt quite the same, nobody else seemed to want any. :o
"T'weren't bad a'tall! Thass whah Ah lahk womin'folk. They don' ate stuff they's skeered of. ;D ;D"
one of them vultures a looking back at ya from a pot would make ya kinda uneasy
"Thass when ya take that knife thar an' lop off tha haid."
Frankenbird feels a tightning in his throat and flys north for a while. ;D
"Lookit that feller flah. Hain' ner seed no chicken go lahk thayut. Theeyum mus' be goose wangs."
Suddenly one of Frankenbirds wings falls off and he crashes to the ground. Frankenbird comes to the ranch house with it in hisbeak and Delmonico sews it back one with silk thread. "Durn I should have known enough to not use cotton the first time." ::)
Delmonico finishes attaching Frankenbirds wing, but something doesn't look quite right. That's when Delmonico realizes that Frankenbird's beak is still attached to the wing. Del gets busy sewing the beak back on.
Delmonico finishes and puts Frankenbird in a cage and looks for other parts to add on.
Trinity runs up with a leg bone in his hand. "Ah thank this beee-lawngs ta Frankenbird. Ah foun' it a hour ago, but .... uh.... um... Ah kinda got hongry an' et off awl tha meat. :-["
Delmonico covers it with potted mead, wraps it with gauze and sticks some feathers in it and sews it back on. ::)
Trinity sits by the cage staring at Frankenbird and drools.
Sod Buster wanders by and tosses some dried corn (grain) soaked in squeezins into the cage. Frankenbird starts eating.
Trinity pokes his finger in to try for a piece of the recipe soaked corn, but Frankenbird angrily pecks at him.
Trinity yells into the kitchen: "Did a good job thar, puttin' his bake back on!"
when Trinity turns back around to Frankenbird, he sees that his finger has dissapeared in Frankenbirds mouth with his beak clamped down on it. :o
Delmonico opens the cage, gets Trinity's finger and sews it back on also. "This keeps up, I'm gonna have to get me one of those sewing machines." ;D
ya might could order one of them what runs with an electricy motor, we could take off the motor and hook it up to the steam tractor belt. that thing would sew anythng
With wide eyes, Trinity holds his finger up to Delmonico. "Dail, mah fanger ain' 'pose' ta beeyund thisaways."
Ozark takes a look at the finger, well that'll be better when ya go to picking, won't have to turn yer whole hand. :o
Delmonico heads out on his mule Reuben and suddenly that long forgotten blue light comes down, lifts him off Reuben and away he goes again. ::)
dang old blue lights >:(
Slim runs up ta his room, opens the window, aims at the blue plates, and squeezes the trigger on the present that Gopher Grease bought. >:(
Sod Buster sees the blue lights from the window of his Soddy and hopes they bring Del back soon. :'(
"Dangummit! That derned plate done come agin! Whar's mah Remmin'ton?" Trinity searches all around and finally finds it in a mud puddle at still site number twelve.
with Trintiy armed with his rifle, he sits on the front porch and gets a jug to have close and keeps a watch for any stray blue lights.
<<Pssst.... it's Trinity's revolver>>
Trinity sits on the porch and tries to bring back the hammer, but it's crusted with rust and won't budge. He begins to bang it against the porch railing.
whoops, just had rifles on ma mind,
the banging don't seem to be doing much good so he pours a little juice outa the jug onto it, and goes into the house and gets Del's hammer.
When Trinity returns, he finds that his recipe did an excellent job of disolving the rust. Unfortunately, it also disolved the unrusted metal. The only thing not disolved are the lead balls.
Trinity takes his hammer and the lead balls and beats em flat and draws a little face on em, thar that may get me a drink when I go ta town, it's always kinda dark in there.
While Trinity is banging on his lead balls, one of the blue plates sends down a beam and fixes Trinity's finger the way it should be. Now Trinity doesn't get poked in the eye every time he raises the hammer.
Frankenbird sees the blue light fix Trinity's finger and goes running after the blue plate to get him to finish fixing him :o
The plate ignores poor Frankenbird and zips off into the air.
Trinity, however, had already become used to picking his nose with his finger turned around and now must learn again from the start. He slowly brings his finger to his nose, but suddenly his hand jumps up and he pokes himself in the eye.
Frankenbird comes back over by Trinity and stands, he hopes nothing falls off or needs sewing, since Dels gone for awhile.
and Trinity don't sew so good :o :o
"I know where Del keeps the housewife. I can sew fairly well."
What's this blue plate is it a Delmonico flying saucer ::) ::)
;D
The blue plate lands outside the barn and the little Fushia Creatures toss him out and fly away. ;D
he lands back aboard Ruben, who had walked back to the ranch ;D
Slim fires both barrels of the "Mighty Ten" at the blue plate. >:(
the blue streaks quickly dissappear in the northern sky, as quickly as they appeared. leaving only unpleasant memories.
and a confused Lab pup who won't leave Delmonico's side.
Delmonico tosses him a "Scooby Snack" and he lays down by his chair.
I'm signed up for "End of Trail". Any one going? I would love to meet some of you face on. PM me if we can get together.
"Wailcome back Dail! Didja have yerse'f a good rahd in that thar plate?"
After a hard day's work in the fields, Sod Buster settles down with his guitar and sings to the moon:
For many long years I've played a lone hand
I rode my horse in many strange lands
Until one day I stopped for awhile
For two blue eyes and a sunny smile
So howl away you old coyote
I hear your sad and lonesome song
You're calling me back to old Montana
Back to those hills where I belong
One day I rode away from home
I'm a' traveling back and it won't be long
I'll see you again in a little while
You're my darling sweet, my welcome smile
So howl away you old coyote
I hear your sad and lonesome song
You're calling me back to old Montana
Back to those hills where I belong
So howl away you old coyote
I hear your sad and lonesome song
You're calling me back to old Montana
Back to those hills where I belong
Trinity hears the stranger singing and goes to him with a frown. "Yer lucky ol' litl rooster stays out to tha lahn shack awl tha tahm now. He wouldn' lahk hairin' ya sang 'bout some dawg cawlin' ya ta his wahf."
Quote from: Trinity on June 16, 2007, 10:10:33 PM
Trinity hears the stranger singing and goes to him with a frown. "Yer lucky ol' litl rooster stays out to tha lahn shack awl tha tahm now. He wouldn' lahk hairin' ya sang 'bout some dawg cawlin' ya ta his wahf."
Delmonico comes up behind Trinity and whaps him with a fryin' pan. :o "Git yer butt down to the coal storage dugout and haul yer wife a load a coal for her cookin' fine, just saw her and little Trinity out a pickin' up chips." ::)
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/CopyofBuffaloChipLady.jpg)
Rubbing his head Trinity replies: "But tha's her job! Ah don' git no coal ner fahrwood. Don' ask me wah, bet she made up that rule after Ah brung that lawg in wif awl tha termites an' they et out tha flo-er. She tolt me Ah couldn' git tha coal after that tahm that Ah came beck wif litl trinity sittin a-top-a tha cart awl coated wif coal dust, black as night an' a-gnawin' on a chunk-a coal.
Ah thank that woman is a mite unreasonamable sometahms." >:(
Delmonico comes runnin' out of the house hollorin', "Trinity, look at yer calander!!!!!!" He runs to the barn and hooks the wagon up and heads for Trinity's cabian. "Hurry yer butt up, we got to head out to the oak grove, don't bother packin', ya won't need extra clothes anyway." ;D
Trinity perks up and begins removing his clothing as he runs toward the oak grove.
"Tahm ta daince nekkid agin! Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo - Hoooooo! Ah'm a-gonna use to-naht an' tomorry ta prac-tize mah daincin' fer tha twenny-fust!"
Delmonico says, get in, it's 30 miles to the grove, we got to pick up everyone else. ;D
as Ozark crawls into the wagon, he tells Trinity he's going to have to be careful with that practice dancing out there in the hot sun, yer apt to burn sometihing. with no clothes on :o
Sod Buster climbs in and brings some special herbs.
Quote from: Sod Buster on June 19, 2007, 08:41:54 PM
Sod Buster climbs in and brings some special herbs.
Trinity's eyes widen as the realization sinks in. Suddenly, he reaches out and grabs at a large oak leaf as the wagon passes by. He makes sure it is indeed an oak leaf before tying it around his waist with a leather thong laying in the bed of the wagon.
"Thar! That orta do it."
Quote from: Sod Buster on June 19, 2007, 08:41:54 PM
Sod Buster climbs in and brings some special herbs.
"Howdy thar stranger! Say, whah ya rollin' them herbs inta paper lahk them litl ceegars?"
Ozark and Trinity start singing as Sod Buster continues to roll the herbs
Don't bogart that joint, my friend
Pass it over to me
Don't bogart that joint, my friend
Pass it over to me
Roll another one
Just like the other one
You've been hangin on to it
And I sure would like a hit
Don't bogart that joint, my friend
Pass it over to me
Don't bogart that joint, my friend
Pass it over to me
Rolllllllllllllllll another one
Just like the other one
That one's just about burned to the end
So come on and be a real friend
Don't bogart that joint, my friend
Pass it over to me
Don't bogart that joint, my friend
Pass it over to me
Everybody sing along this time
Don't bogart that joint, my friend
Pass it over to me
Don't bogart that joint, my friend
Pass it over to me
Sod Buster passes Trinity a corn silk cigarette.
Trinity puffs on his corn silk, but doesn't like it much. "Theeus don' taste raht. Ah don' know if'n Ah like it awl too much."
after taking a few puffs and inhaling, Trinity looks out along side the wagon and see's something peeking back at him.
Trinity chuckles. "Hey, fellers, take a look at that... thar... over yonder in tha brush... dontcha see'im? Ah see'im plain as day! Looky!!!"
Trinity takes a couple of more puffs and Sod Busters veggies start looking back
:o :o :o :o :o :o
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggghh!!!"
Sherlene gets wind of what Del and Trinity are up to and heads for the oak grove mumblin to herself, "Tha last time that idjit went there with Del he come home itchin and scratchin from tha poison oak he got into. On her way out the door she grabs a big rolling pin.
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on June 20, 2007, 05:32:59 AM
Sherlene gets wind of what Del and Trinity are up to and heads for the oak grove mumblin to herself, "Tha last time that idjit went there with Del he come home itchin and scratchin from tha poison oak he got into. On her way out the door she grabs a big rolling pin.
;D
Sherlene sees a naked sheep herder gettin' ready to dance in some posion oak and panics and runs clear to Dunning. ::)
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/yikes.jpg)
Slim goes ta milk the cow and sees the wagon in the distance. "Have fun dancing fellars. Someone's gotta stay and do the chores." ::)
Marshal n Da Sheep have smeared the Privey n the Lou with poisen Oak,
A few hours later, Dell N the crew are complaining bout a New 'Social' Desiese! :o
(Pardon no Tin Types availabe this is a Family thread) :o
;D :D ;D
Since Delmonico and the crew are out in the wagon there is no privy around, the sheepherder missed the context again. ::)
Trinity is busy dancing and enjoying the bon fire. He hails the Sun-God who is taking an extended journey in his chariot across the sky today on the longest day of the year.
Suddenly he hears a sound and turns to OT. "Did that soun' lahk mah wahf a-scramin'?"
well I just thought it was somebody a chanting some kinda incantation, but ya know it did kinda sound like Sherelene, :o
couldn't be though, what'd she be doing out here ???
about that time Miz Collinwoods wagon pulls into the cermony grounds and several of her girls jump out and start dancing around.
Quote from: Delmonico on June 21, 2007, 07:35:07 AM
Since Delmonico and the crew are out in the wagon there is no privy around, the sheepherder missed the context again. ::)
;D
Maybe Summer Solstice? the longest summer day? Yeh shouldn't cook with Poison Oak Del. :o
:P
:o
;D :D ;D
8)
So the sheepherders out of context posts don't look so dumb, Delmonico tells everyone not to poop out on the prairie and puts up a sting of privies every 3 miles between the ranch and the oak grove. ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)
He franchises them as Delmonico's Dump Spots! Trinity sensing a seasonal business opportunity tells Del he will buy half of the franchises.
<Authors Note: See sheepherders ain't completly worthless, now we have more income.> ;D
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on June 22, 2007, 03:17:10 PM
He franchises them as Delmonico's Dump Spots! Trinity sensing a seasonal business opportunity tells Del he will buy half of the franchises.
when Trinity asks Del which half is his , he tells him the half that holds the water :o
Previously: Saddened that the sun god finally left Trinity begins to visit the Portapoops and filling them one by one.
Presently: Trinity wakes up in the yard, outside the ranch house, next to him is lying Sherlene's rolling pin. He quickly feels his throbbing head and finds a large sore spot, smack in the middle of his forehead.
Del walks up to the still prone Trinity and lays a shovel and a clothespin next to him. Del says, "Your half of the franchise needs cleaning up Trinity!"
:o :o
Trinity goes over to the first and holds his nose. Then he checks out the remaining ones and runs to Del's workshop.
An hour later Trinity comes out and hangs signs on each door:
Don't Werk.
Out of Order!!!
Trinity and Ozark sneak over to the sheepherders ranch and take black grease and print letters on some of the sheep, when the Marshall wakes up in the morning, he looks out the window and sees the sheep in the lot.
Happy Birthdya Marshall
Trinity spelled birthday.
Happy birfday Sheep Marshall!
"Ah di'n't mispail it a-tall! Tha sheep painted wif tha "Y" moved!"
Sod Buster sends some Eggplant over to the Marshall for his birfday.
"Ain' that jus' typical of tha stranger!?? He don' know nuffin' 'bout good parties... SHERLENE!!! Ya got that Chawklity cake ready yet? Ah got these-hayre cain-dles that Ah foun' over to tha Sheep Marshals. They's a mite big an a little moist, but tha wick looks drah."
Sherlene tells Trinity to stop his hollering, she'll have it ready afore long. Tells him to leave them candles in the parlor so's they'll dry out.
Trinity shakes the excess moisture from his hands and the floor explodes.
Trinity hollers Sherlene, "lookit ahm flahyin!"
Sherlene hollers at Trinity, "You git down here now!"
Quote from: Trinity on June 26, 2007, 07:57:22 PM
"Ain' that jus' typical of tha stranger!?? He don' know nuffin' 'bout good parties...
Sod Buster sends along some okra, black-eyed peas, watermelon and peanuts too.
Celebrate the eggplant!
Trinity lands square on the table where the Stranger set the okra and black-eyed peas and promptly vomits.
Delmonicothinks there shoud be some roots so he sends parsnips, turnips and tators and carrots. He thinks folks don't understand about roots so he sends Trinity a bulliten about roots, knowing Sodbuster and Slim have already got theirs by Pony Express. ;D
;)
Thanks You'll, I'm Touched.
Was 107 today in Mesa. ;D
You wuz a 107 on yer birfday Sheepherder, well let me tell you, ya don't look a day over 93! :o
Happy Belated Birthday!
Quote from: Delmonico on June 26, 2007, 10:42:57 PM
Delmonicothinks there shoud be some roots so he sends parsnips, turnips and tators and carrots. He thinks folks don't understand about roots so he sends Trinity a bulliten about roots, knowing Sodbuster and Slim have already got theirs by Pony Express. ;D
Ya mean "tubers". ;D
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on June 27, 2007, 04:09:12 PM
Ya mean "tubers". ;D
Aint them tha fellers what go down the rapids in them big rubber donuts Slim?
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on June 27, 2007, 04:29:13 PM
Aint them tha fellers what go down the rapids in them big rubber donuts Slim?
The smart ones have an extry... fer their coolers. ;D ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on June 26, 2007, 10:42:57 PM
Delmonico thinks there should be some roots so he sends parsnips, turnips and tators and carrots. He thinks folks don't understand about roots so he sends Trinity a bulliten about roots, knowing Sodbuster and Slim have already got theirs by Pony Express. ;D
Trinity receives the pamphlet labeled "Roots" and thinks inside lies proof of Delmonico's familiar connection with the confederacy. Sadly, there weren't any pictures and Trinity was able to make out only some words, which referred to vegetables, so he quickly put it down next to the kindling and left to eat a steak.
Quote from: Trinity on June 27, 2007, 06:53:18 PM
Trinity receives the pamphlet labeled "Roots" and thinks inside lies proof of Delmonico's familiar connection with the confederacy. Sadly, there weren't any pictures and Trinity was able to make out only some words, which referred to vegetables, so he quickly put it down next to the kindling and left to eat a steak.
after looking at the pictures in his roots books, he wonders to hisself who chicken George was. and why Kuta kinta came to america.
"Why, who in tarnation would name they child Chicken Joge an' whatever ails you said? That Dail comes from a strange fambly, don' he?"
Trinity figures he'll show monkey the pictures in the book and see what his reaction is.
:o "Monkey, how old is you? Ah din' thank you'd be a-needin' glasses so soon."
monkey takes off his glasses and pokes his finger through the holes where the glass goes, then Triinity realizes
monkey just wants to looks smart,
"What a clever little feller! Ah wonner what Ah would look lahk wif them thangs on."
Trinity borrows the glasses from Monkey and finds a mirror......
Trinity Chuckles, "Ah look lahk a aig-haid!"
After looking at the book, monkey scribbles on a piece of paper and gives it to Slim to read to Trinity!
Maybe Chicken George was Colonel Sanders kid!
:o :o :o "Chicken Joj was tha Colonel's son? D'ya reckon tha colonel din't lahk his boy an' thass how come he got inta the chicken frahin' business? You reckon tha seecrit he's been hahdin' awl these yairs 'bout his mixture of 'leben herbs an' spahces is that they ain' awl herbs or spahces?" :o :o :o
it was from when the colonel found out he was going down to the river
Mama said, "Don't go near that river,
Don't be hanging around old Catfish John."
Come in the morning I'd always be there,
Walking in his footsteps in the sweet Delta dawn.
Take me back to another morning, to a time so long ago,
When the sweet magnolia blossomed, cotton fields as white as snow.
Catfish John was a river hobo who lived and died by the river's bed,
Looking back I still remember I was proud to be his friend.
Mama said, "Don't go near that river,
Don't be hanging around old Catfish John."
Come in the morning I'd always be there,
Walking in his footsteps in the sweet Delta dawn.
Born a slave in the town of Vicksburg, traded for a chestnut mare,
Lord her never spoke in anger though his load was hard to bear.
Mama said, "Don't go near that river,
Come in the morning I'd always be there,
Walking in his footsteps in the sweet Delta dawn.
Walking in his footsteps in the sweet Delta dawn.
"Ah gots me a cousin what we cawl Catfish. It ain' 'cause he lahks ta fish, it's 'cause he smails funny!" :o :P
here comes Catfish now
<sniff><sniff>
Something stinks......
all this talk about catfish gives Delmonico and idea. With out a word to anyone he saddles Reuben and heads to Dunning. ::)
Catfish comes on up to the house with his empty jug and finds one of Trinity's full ones ;D
Suddenly the jug shatters into a thousands tiny shards. Trinity is standing FAR away with his rifle. "Oh no you don', Catfish!! Ah done smailt ya from over to Steel saht number fahve an' Ah knowed you was up ta no good. Now git on down offa that porch afore you git mah frien's angry at me!"
Catfish runs down off the porch loseing his hat in the rush, monkey gets his hat and takes it over to him, but when Catfish bends down to get it, monkey slaps him over the head with it.
just like he'd seen sherelen do to Trinity.
Delmonico makes it to Dunning and catches the eastbound evening train to Omaha. ::)
About dawn several wagons loaded with lumber from Minny-soda show up at The Ranch With No Name along with several men with carpenter tools. They start building a long narrow building west of the house. ??? ;D
As the building goes up on The Ranch With No Name, Delmonico arrives in Omaha on the eastbound CB&Q. He gets a hotel room, a big steak in a resteraunt and then goes shopping. ::)
The commotion wakes Irish up, he goes down to the kitchen and gets some coffee from the stove. He steps out on the porch to see what is being built and gets a whiff of a very unpleasant odor. The dogs aren't around so he hollers, "Trinity, wha'd ya do this time?" "Smells like ya been wrasslin with a skunk!"
Trinity is wandering around where the men are building he keeps picking up a hammer here and a saw there and cut off pieces of lumber, mumbling something about a new still site. ;D
The carpenters slap his fingers and send him back to the house. With the building done on the outside thy start layin' a thick hard maple floor. ;D Meanwhile Delmonico has finished his shopping for the day and goes to his hotel room for a nap.
"It weren't mah fault, Ahrish Tom. Mah cousin Catfish done come ta town ta freeload. He's down bah tha river now. Monkey's makin' shore he washes some scent off whal Clea is collectin' the daid fish down straim."
Trinity peers outside, "Oooh! Them workers is gone. Ah gotta go git... uh... do somethin'."
Soon, Trinity can be seen riding out of the yard at a brisk clip in the heavily laden buckboard.
Trinity drives the buckboard right through the carpenters camp, soon all the wood is back at the constuction site and Trinity is tied up in the back of the buckboard. In a few minutes he is in the river downstream from Catfish. ;D
"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!"
The carpenters move their camp right next to the new building and light laterns to keep any lumber pilfers away. >:(
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/Bowling11.jpg)
Irish sees the sign go up an asks the tied up Trinity, I wunner if Del iz gonna start sellin them Bowler hats the townies iz always wearin?"
The reply iz a muffled "Mppffhh!"
Irish takes the rag outta Trinity's mouth.
"Wha'd ya say lad?"
In Omaha, Delmonico is up early, catches the early CB&Q westboud and heads back to Dunning. ;D
having heard of this game once, Trinity travels over to Sod Busters ranch to see if he's got an melons or canalopes about the right size to use for a ball.
Delmonico arrives in Dunning and rents a wagon to haul his plunder from his shopping trip to The Ranch With No Name. ::)
Mean while, back at the ranch ( ::)) the workers are puttin' the varnish on the maple floor. ;D
Slim goes ta investigate the construction. "Why would anybody want ta put bowls on their heads?" ??? :o
why they's only one reason to put bowls on yer head, he must be building a barber school.
Trinity peeks in one of the open windows and sees a shiny shiny floor. :o
He goes in to look and finds himself stuck in the wet varnish like a fly stuck to fly paper. ;D
(Authors note, anybody got some spare cash? a bit further west, but we could make this real. ;D http://www.sandhillsranches.com/bacarro_ranch/bacarro_ranch_for_sale.htm )
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on July 12, 2007, 06:08:47 AM
having heard of this game once, Trinity travels over to Sod Busters ranch to see if he's got an melons or canalopes about the right size to use for a ball.
Sod Buster arrives at the Ranch to see the new building that Trintiy mentioned. He brings the melons that Trinity asked for.
Trinity is still standing on the shiny new floor with his boots still stuck, he waves to Sod Buster fer help.
Sod Buster thinks he might be able to help Trinity get loose if he he rolls one of the melons towards him butr he wonders if the varnish is dry yet. ???
Having somehow become entirely coated with varnish before stepping onto the "dance floor", Trinity now finds himself frozen, still attempting to get Sod Buster's attention.
(http://entimg.msn.com/i/filmfashion/SaturdayNightFever_300x298.jpg)
monkey has done carried out the ball with the little mirrors glued all over it and hung it over by Trinity :o
"Oooooooooh! Lookit awl theeyum lahts! Purrrrrrty."
monkey lites up some candles and spins the ball causing Trinity to get dizzy while watching it.
Delmonico arrives with the wagon, sees Trinity stuck in the varnish, he reaches in the back of the wagon, gets out a big white "club" and whops Trinity with it. ;D ::) He then pries Trinity's feet loose and the carpenters fix the mess. :P :P
Since the varnish is hardening up and Trinity can't move Del sets him outside the door to the new building like some strange cigar store indian! :o
Delmonico waits impaitently all dressed up for folks to show up ffor the Grand Opening.
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/gear/CleanedUp.jpg)
But the only one there is Trinity and he's all stuck up. ::)
Soon the crowds shown up 'cz they ain't never heard of indoor bowling - only the outdoor kind.
Trinity starts studying the pictures of this game so he can be the instructor.
Delmonico has the carpenters soak Trinity in mineral spirits and then starts him on the path to fame and fortune. ;D
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/bowl6.jpg)
Sod Buster grabs a ball and gets ready to throw a strike,
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/bowl3.jpg)
Quote from: Delmonico on July 13, 2007, 08:43:08 PM
Delmonico has the carpenters soak Trinity in mineral spirits and then starts him on the path to fame and fortune. ;D
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/bowl6.jpg)
Does that mean that if Trinity can spot pins, he can also find the proverbial "needle in a hay stack"?
But the vapors from the mineral spirits have an effect on Trinity, so he will not be participating much this evening. He crawls off to a spot where no sparks or open flames can even be seen. :o
Ozark decides to try it.
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/bowl4.jpg)
Even Sherene gives it a try as Trinity stands shocked in the background. ;D
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/bowl5.jpg)
Delmonico has drug out the phoney-graf and puts on a new wax cylinder he picked up in Omaha. ;D
Bowling, bowling, bowling, keep them balls a rolling, though your thumbs are swollen, bowling.
Don't throw it in the gutter, heres one for Mother, soon you'll take tha Buick for a ride.
Knock em down, drink a beer, make a stike, make a spare, boooowling.
(To the tune of Rawhide, what else.) ;D
Slim goes ta the parlor ta see what all the fuss is about. He is surprised ta not see people with bowls on their heads. :o ???
Delmonico sees slim go in the house and light the coal oil lamp in the parlor and wonders why he doesn't come down to the bowling alley. ::)
Slim comes outta the house with a pistol strapped ta each hip. He enters the bowling parlor, walks to a lane, pulls both pistols, and shoots at the pins. ;D
when the smoke clears, all the pins are down and Slim hollers strike ;D
;D
Nice Shootin Slim, Yeh could have got Em Alll with One stick of dynomite! :o
;D
:o
8)
Trinity walks into the alley and yawns. All pins in all lanes fall as do most of the people. The only people who didn't fall were the outhouse cleaners, the grill cooks and they guy behind the shoe counter.
the feller behind the shoe counter comes running over at Trinity and throws some the disenfect he's been putting in the bowling shoes, it lands on Trinity's shoulder and runs down all over him.
Trinity's shirt disintegrates and his skin starts smoking.
but now he smells like fresh tanned leather,
Trinity goes down to the river and packs some mud on his shoulder. "Thar, that fayls much better! Ah wonner whah that feller put that stuff on me. >:( An whah was ever'body nappin' when Ah wen' in thar?"
Sod Buster is facinated by the automatic pin setters. Back East he once saw a bowling alley but they had "manual" pin setters:
(http://www.historyplace.com/unitedstates/childlabor/bowling.jpg)
Delmonico decides that might be a better way and sends a Coal-Oil-O-Gram to Father Flanagan at Boys Town near Omaha to see if he can gets some orphans to set pins. He thinks the extra targets would be an added attraction. ;D
(Note, less than six months till Christmas, Delmonico earns 1000 pounds of coal for that idea.)
Trinity steps up to bowl but Mrs. Collingwood's ladies become angry and start hitting him with their bags, parasols and fists. Sherlene comes up behind them with a frying pan.
just before a serious fight gets going, Del tells the band to start playing,
On the first twang of the banjo, Trinity slaps his knees and begins to dance.
Slim wonders how Trinity can think what he is doing resembles dancing. ::)
"Ol' Jaid Clampett dainces it this-a-ways." ;D
when that tune is done, the boys break into the Wreck of the ole 97 and Trinity starts a singing.
Well they gave him his orders at Monroe Virginia sayin' Steve you're way behind time
This is not 38 this is old 97 put her into Spencer on time
Then he turned around and said to his black greasy fireman shovel on a little more coal
And when we cross that White Oak Mountain watch old 97 roll
But it's a mighty rough road from Lynchburg to Danville
With a line on a three mile grade
It was on that grade that he lost his air brakes
see what a jump he made
Then the telegram come to Washington station and this is how it read
Oh that brave engineer that run old 97 he's a layin' in old Danville dead
He was goin' down the grade makin' 90 miles an hour his whistle broke into a scream
He was found in the wreck with his hand on the throttle
A scalded to death by the steam
So now all you ladies you better take a warnin' from this time on and learn
Never speak harsh words to your true lovin' husband
He may leave you and never return
Poor boy
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on July 15, 2007, 01:10:00 PM
Slim wonders how Trinity can think what he is doing resembles dancing. ::)
Looks like the vamint dance to me. ;D
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/12635.jpg)
After singing, Trinity wipes his eyes and says, "Ah done lived in Dain-ville oncet fera couple yairs. Mucha Maw's fambly is steel thar."
The banjo player sets his banjo down to take a nip from the jug at the snack bar.
Trinity runs to pick up the banjo and in no time he's strumming to his heart's content. Even quicker, the music stops because he has broken all of the strings.
The banjo player has also grabbed a snack, he hears the strings break and sits and decides how bad he's gonna hurt Trinity. ;D
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/lulus_truckstop-gailard_sartain-gra.jpg)
Before the banjo player finishes his meal, Trinity manages to get tangled up in the broken banjo strings and falls on the other band instruments. Now the entire band is out to get Trinity! :o
:o :o "But Mr. Graimpaw, Ah di'n' mean ta break yer strangs. Ah jus' wanned ta trah ta play a little. Please tell these fellers that Ah di'n' mean no harm."
Quote from: Trinity on July 20, 2007, 05:44:14 PM
:o :o "But Mr. Graimpaw, Ah di'n' mean ta break yer strangs. Ah jus' wanned ta trah ta play a little. Please tell these fellers that Ah di'n' mean no harm."
Just then a strange arrives and shows Trinity a new way to use a banjo....
"Hey, it's mah ol' frien' William Berger, but he goes bah tha alias Banjo. You seen Sabata lately, Bainjo? ;D"
Grandpa gives Trinity something to play
Trinity puts on the thimbles and starts to rasp his hand up and down the board. This goes on for an hour before Delmonico throws a cast iron pan out the window and hits Trinity.
Ozark comes walking by and tells Trinity, you was really getting the beat there afore ya got hit with the pot. ;D
Delmonico tosses Trinity some dirty dish towels and some soap and the washtubs. ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on July 20, 2007, 07:30:39 PM
Delmonico tosses Trinity some dirty dish towels and some soap and the washtubs. ;D
Sod Buster drops off a cookbook for Delmonico:
(http://www.greenharvest.com.au/images/Books/zucchini.jpg)
Delmonico puts in on the shelf with the last one Sodbuster gave him.
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/Oct1001.jpg)
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Trinity turns the wash tub upside down and begins pounding on it. He likes the sound so much, he positions the washboard next to it and intermittently scrapes down the board and pounds on the washtub. Soon Sherlene joins him by blowing into jugs filled with varying amounts of recipe while litl trinity joins in with the jaw harp and his sister plays the spoons.
Quote from: Delmonico on July 20, 2007, 07:57:29 PM
Delmonico puts in on the shelf with the last one Sodbuster gave him.
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/Oct1001.jpg)
<Authors Note" Yes I own that book thanks to a friend(?) and co-worker who found it for 25 cents at a used book sale.>
And just when everything is gettin' back to normal, or at least as normal as things have ever been on The Ranch With No Name, guess who shows up. ::)
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/eller-funk.jpg)
:P
Marshal Loads Da Blunderuss, He hears that ellifunk is back. :P
:P
Guess Dell is gonna make some packaderm soup. :o
Does any one know what the fuzzy stuff 'tween an Eller-funks toes is?
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Slow sheep. ;D
;D ;D ;D ;D
Trinity goes into the house to get a rifle to protect Sherlene and the kids, but everything is taken but the four hundreth and 10 gauge shotgun, so he gets it and off he heads.
Trinity runs off in the direction of still site number eight, muttering all the way, "Gotta pro-teck ma beloveds."
bout a mile down the trail, Trinity remembers the four hundreth and 10 is a single shot and he just has the one shell in it. :o
Trinity stops and considers returning to the house, but he decides that he's parched and continues along his way.
Trinity hears someone coming down the trail, he hides in the tall grass, Sod Buster comes by in his wagon with a whole load of vegatables for the fellers at the ranch.
Trinity aims carefully and blows out five of Sod Busters spokes causing the left front wheel to collapse. In typical Hollywood fashion the waggon uncouples from the horses, careens off the road and flips five times before landing in a bog. Sod Buster rises, brushes himself off and returns to the road. Trinity makes sure Sod Buster is alright and then runs away, leaving the now useless shotgun behind.
Trinity is runnin' down the road, lookin' over his shoulder and runs smack into.........................................................................
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/eller-funk.jpg)
the eller funk stomps all the veggies into mush, it starts to rain heavy, all the seeds out of the vegatables wash out across the countryside, next spring vegatables will be coming up all over the place thanks to Trinity.
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on July 24, 2007, 07:20:17 PM
the eller funk stomps all the veggies into mush, it starts to rain heavy, all the seeds out of the vegatables wash out across the countryside, next spring vegatables will be coming up all over the place thanks to Trinity.
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/yikes.jpg)
Trinity's somewhat feminine shriek can be heard five counties away.
upon hearing the sub human shriek, the eller funk heads for the tall grass praries to hide.
Trinity then kisses his jug and says "Wailp ol' frien'. I'ss fer tha bayust." and starts dousing the countryside. He takes off to his still and returns with more jugs. When he feels he's done enough, he sets it ablaze.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/gothfire1.jpg)
Quote from: Trinity on July 24, 2007, 07:12:26 PM
Trinity aims carefully and blows out five of Sod Busters spokes causing the left front wheel to collapse. In typical Hollywood fashion the waggon uncouples from the horses, careens off the road and flips five times before landing in a bog. Sod Buster rises, brushes himself off and returns to the road. Trinity makes sure Sod Buster is alright and then runs away, leaving the now useless shotgun behind.
After loosing his load of produce, Sod Buster tries to figure out who could be so mean-spirited as to kill vegetables. Now they had to go to the big garden patch in the sky without fullfilling their purpose here on Mother Earth. :'(
Tis a sad day indeed.
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on July 24, 2007, 07:20:17 PM
...next spring vegatables will be coming up all over the place thanks to Trinity.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Sad day mah patootey! Ah'm glad that Ah done burnt theeyum vegetamable innards afore they could multiply! :o"
but before Trinity burned the veggie spot, thousands of birds and wild animals had eaten a few seeds and all these animals and birds scatter and run from the fire which will now spread the vegatable seed over a wider area :o
Meanwhile unbeknow to Trinity vegetables begin to sprout under his Stills! :o
Unknown to Trinity, the variety of Zuchinni Sodbuster grows is like some types of pine trees, they grow better in the wake of a fire. :o :o :o :o :o :o
Trinity slumps in a heap of dispair and sobs. Luckily, he is consoled by the knowledge that the overflow valves on his stills release a slow, but consistant drip of recipe and will kill anything underneath or around.
or could the plants just mutate :o
Acceptance of that concept would mean grant validity to the concept of natural selection (or evolution). :o
Trinity comes walking up on still # 7 and spots something different
As Trinity nears, he hears a growl "Feeeeeed meeeee!"
Trinity looks down, pats his belly and says "not jus' yet, lil feller".
Trinity heads for still #5, but as he walks down the path, he does not realize he's being followed. ;D :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o ::)
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/zzz.jpg)
Trinity turns around, sees the beast and feezes. He can't move. As it nears, Trinity passes out.
Trinity comes to and thar sits monkey, who begins to try to show Trinity what he saw. :o
"Don' ree-mahnd me, Monkey. That weren't no pleasant thang ta see. Ah hope it fail in tha river an' drownded!"
Suddenly there in front of Trinity is a mutant Lady Tater. ;D
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/Mrsvegie.jpg)
Behind Trinity is the mutant Zuchinni. :o
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/zzz.jpg)
They meet up right there by Trinity who passes out again as the monkey runs like heck. They sidestep Trinity and run off to cross-pollinate. ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on July 29, 2007, 08:31:50 PM
Suddenly there in front of Trinity is a mutant Lady Tater. ;D
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/Mrsvegie.jpg)
Behind Trinity is the mutant Zuchinni. :o
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/zzz.jpg)
They meet up right there by Trinity who passes out again as the monkey runs like heck. They sidestep Trinity and run off to cross-pollinate. ;D
:o
;D
:P
:(
8)
Quote from: Delmonico on July 29, 2007, 08:31:50 PM
They sidestep Trinity and run off to cross-pollinate. ;D
A few days later Trinity sees something peekin' out at him from under still #3. :o
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/mutant.jpg)
Meanwhile out near Still # 7 an ugly mob has begun to assemble, and they are holding some of the townfolk hostage!
Trinity goes to the ranch house and gets on Del's coal oil computer and sends fer the band. he figgures if he can get them to dancing and drinking they won't be no trouble :o
I think I taught them two brothers that's tha band....
mebbe fer 10 minnits er so, 'fore tha law picked 'em up.
I'm purty sure it's tha same ones, they have them Dinwiddie ears.
::)
:D
Trinity goes out to still #8 and finds the mutation of veggies has continued. ;D
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/worthington-wham.gif)
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/Worthington-Stripples-Carto.gif)
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/worthington-prime-stakes.gif)
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/worthingtonveja-linkscartonflat.jpg)
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/prosagelinks.jpg)
:o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! In tha name'a awl that's holy, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"
Scared out of his wits, Trinity goes to check still #4 and sees a sight that is more horible than any of the other mutations so far. ;D
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(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/1004i_l_evcatcans.jpg)
The Cat sees the cans and begins to loudly hiss and spit. He puffs himself out to about five times his actual size.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/247-worst.jpg)
Sod Buster shows up at the Ranch with No Name looking for Del. He has a new contraction that we wants to hook up to Del's Steam Engine:
Delmonico has Sod Buster leave the new device at his blacksmith shop in the barn because it needs a bit of work before it can be used. "Come back in the morning and I'll have it fixed." :o
When Sod Buster comes back in the morning it device is gone and Delmonico has a big pile of swords. ;D
from the gospel of Delmonico,
ye who have plows, (or any spare equipment) beat them into swords
Verse 2:
And then go ye forth to beat the heck out of your neighbors.
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on August 11, 2007, 06:52:15 AM
Verse 2:
And then go ye forth to beat the heck out of your neighbors.
Verse 3:
But only ith thy neighbor needs the heck beath out of them. ::)
Verse 4:
If that neighbor happens to be a sword hating Liberal, you'll know what to do!
Verse 5:
Thou shalt smot thy Liberal neighbor about the head and groin, that way of thou does not slay they Liberal neighbor, thee may keep Liberals from multiplying and inherenting the earth.
after looking over all the swords and picking out a good one, Trinity proceeds to his new still, that he ordered all the way from St. Louie off of the coal oil computer,
"That'n gots a winder so's Ah kin see out if'n Ah fall in agin!"
with that en you can sell plum to the Kansas line, if you can get ya a wagon even further.
"Maht be a good ahdear. Ah wonner if'n ol' Dail would let me borry his mule, Ruben-James."
Del hears Trinity and says, "No you can't borrow my mule." Then he grabs a walking stick and starts whacking Trinity for usinf the coal oil powered computer without permission. :o
"Dangit Dail, whah do you gotta be so derned ornery!? Jes' lemme borry Ruben-James an' Ah'll brang back another spool-a bob wahr fer ta speed up yer crazy orders."
I bet miz Colllinswood would loan ya her wagon if you brought her a few jugs of receip, she needs all of the liker she can get up there now, some of them gals ain't easy to look at sober :o
Yeah but a lot of they guys who visit the wagon are the same way. ::)
Quote from: Delmonico on August 11, 2007, 09:28:19 AM
Verse 5:
Thou shalt smot thy Liberal neighbor about the head and groin, that way of thou does not slay they Liberal neighbor, thee may keep Liberals from multiplying and inherenting the earth.
;D :D ;D
:o
8)
Trinity loads up his horse with several jugs and takes them over to Mrs. Collingwood's. He first explains to Sherlene what he's doing to make sure there is no misunderstanding about his intentions. :o
She follows at a distance well hid to check-up on him. ;D
with her rolling pin, just in case :o
Out of the corner of his eye, Trinity see's Sherlene and rides over to her.
"Whatcha carryin' yer rollin' peeeun aroun' fer? Ya gonna make me some bis-kits?"
Trinity wakes up in a blowout 2 hours later, Sherlene is already at home and has the money she made sellin' Trinity's jugs well hidden. ;D
Trinity rubs his head and says to himself, "What'd... OW! <<Quieter>> What'd Ah say?"
Delmonico comes by and looks at Trinity layin' in the blowout, he says, "Well he must have made Sherene mad again. Durn it seems that he don't have to say much of anything to get both feet in his mouth, worst case of Foot 'n Mouth disease I've ever seen. ;D
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on July 28, 2006, 06:50:07 PM
Irish brings out tha hitched up buggy wif tha white flowers an tha sign painted on the back JUST MARRIED
He helps the stunned Trinity and hiz new bride Sherlene inta tha buggy!
Trinity, then remembers back to last July 18th and remembers he done forgot his and Sherlenes anniversary :o :o :o :o :o
Sherlene reads OT's post and realizes it also, she goes back out to the blowout and cold cocks Trinity with her rolling pin again. ;D
"Owwwwww!!! Whah din' nobody 'member ta 'mind me!??" :(
just plumb forgot,
but then I remembered the first picture of Sherlene was in her bathing suit, so I figured it was one of them hot months
"Psssst. D'ya 'member mah little girl's name? Ah shoulda named her Trinityette."
I remember Del come up with her name, we'll have to ask him. :o
Uncle Delmonico named her Da neice. ;D
"They ain' nobody in mah family whose name stahts wif Da." >:(
Well it was spelled Denise. ;D
"Oh, youuu done give her her name. Whah on earth didja choose tha name, Dennis?" :o :o
Cuz Seemore wuz taken already!
"Seemaw what?"
ya better cover yerself up, where's yer modesty :o :o :o
"Ah awlways go 'roun' wifout a shirt in tha summertahm. What you gittin' at?"
cuzon LIT said he done seedmore of ya than he wanted to. :o :o
Trinity looks down.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/icon_redface.gif) "Oh! Done fergot ta butten tha hatch." :o :o
Delmonico rides in from town, puts Reuben in the barn and heads to the house. ::)
Once in the house Delmonico gets his shotgun and does a search to make sure no Kansas Jayhawkers or Missouri Bushwhacker's have taken up residence while he was gone. ::)
Trinity calls from the porch into the kitchen, "Dail, they's some friendly injuns hair wanna tawlk ta you. Sumpin' 'bout a crazy man botherin' 'em?"
Tell em to scalp him. ;D Better ask his wife if it's OK first though. :o
At the mention of Jayhawkers and Bushwackers, Slim loads both of his "Mighty Tens". >:(
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on August 28, 2007, 09:54:27 PM
At the mention of Jayhawkers and Bushwackers, Slim loads both of his "Mighty Tens". >:(
Delmonico takes off his hat and says, "Now I don't mean any bad about any honorable soldier of either side of the late war." ;)
Delmonico comes out on the porch and sits in the rocker with a cup of coffee. "I think we are safe from the Bushwacker's and Jayhawks, durn that was close. ::)
Seeing someone setting a large fire behind the barn Irish levels his Sharps 45/70 and puts a rather large hole through the firebug's head. As Del, Slim, Trinity, and O.T. look up at the tretort of the big rifle Irish hollers from the window of the house, "Big fire behind the barn, I kilt whoever was setting it, now let's go put out the fire.
Delmonico looks at the body, sees what it is and hires a wagon to take it to Brownsville to send downriver as Newbrassky always thought proper of the type. >:( "To bad it ain't winter, the prefered method in that time these scum were a problem was to do it under the ice. " We never had any use for border trash from either Kansas or Misery." >:(
"They served no useful purpose." :P
Delmonico wonders why folks who few like keep tryin' to make more folks like them even less by being a horse's arse all the time. He figgers it's cause they have no manners. >:( He also wonders why since they started him his own thread why he don't stay there, except no one comes down to add to it cause that same horse's arse has no friends. ::) But everyone knows that same person ain't smart enough to figger out he is not liked because of things he has done in the past. :P
Suddenly, fifty federal revenuers enter the yard of the ranch. Trinity silently disappears. :o
Delmonico sees them come in the yard and knowing Trinity went to the south, he points them off to that strange land of Alkali lakes to the north. ;D
Out in the Alkali Lake region, the revanoorers run into an old friend of Trinity's. :o
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/eller-funk.jpg)
Stoney Pete comes riding onto the ranch. He pulls a jug and small package from his saddle bag. He climbs up into the cupola and removes a cupcake from the package. Placing a candle in the center he lights it. After a long pull on the jug he says Happy Birthday FFG. We have not forgotten you. :'(
;D ;D ;D
Irish sees Stoney head for the cupola and knows what day it is. He raises a glass in memory of FFG!
On the porch, Trinity silently sips from his mug, drinking toasts to the FFG.
Remembering how much Stoney Pete likes bacon, he gets up and fries some up for the fellows.
Delmonico saddles Reuben and heads west with out a word.
Slim takes the "Mighty Tens" to the dooryard and gives the FFG a two gun salute. :'(
Out at his Soddy, Sod Buster remembers the FFG with a silent prayer and a look to the heavens. :'( :'( :'(
Slim fills a cup with hot coffee and sits on the porch ta watch the sunrise.
Delmonico watches him from the kitchen window and says, "Durn fool, the sun ain't comin' up, the horizion is goin' down." ::)
Overhearing this, Trinity jolts awake in his hammock. After twisting, flipping and flopping, he finally falls out and runs around the yard shouting "Tha skah's fawlin', tha skah's fawlin'!"
Slim rolls his eyes and watches Trinity run around.
Trinity continues to run around, all the while ducking lower until he is crawling on the ground where he falls asleep.
Slim throws pebbles on Trinity.
(http://www.3v3challenge.com/SUPERChallenges/SouthFlorida/2005/SP_FruityPebblesHR.jpg)
in his sleep Trinity opens his mouth and eats all he can catch. :o
He begins talking in his sleep. "Don' let Barney have none! He'll ate'm awll."
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on September 25, 2007, 07:32:05 PM
in his sleep Trinity opens his mouth and eats all he can catch. :o
Sod Buster quickly substitutes the cow's milk with soy milk! :o
Trinity starts choking and awakens in a violent fit. Tasting the soy milk, Trinity screams "Jes what is ya trahin ta do, keeyul me? Ah need me a drank-a sumpin' rale!"
Sod Buster hands him a glass of goat milk.
"Wail, Ah don' normally drank this, 'cep' fer in tha mawnin' wif Sherlene's panecakes. Ah was thankin' of sumpin' maw lahk what's in tha jug yonder."
Ozark gets a little of the goat's milk and goes to make some gravy ;D
"Now, that's a good idear! Ya gonna ate it awl yerse'f or ya gonna come back?"
well if we can find us a little fresh ham we'll fry it up and have a little goat's milk gravy to lap it in. ;D
"There should be some ham in Stoney's smokehouse out yonder."
"Ah wouldn't mahnd a slash of hayum, but until it's ready, Ah'll take some gravy in this." Trinity hands Ozark Tracker a large mug.
with 2. 5 gallon pots of gravy made and a 3rd almost ready, Ozark gives Trinty a great big mug. Ozark then sends Trinity to the smokehouse to see if he can find a hunk of ham to cook.
Trinity returns dragging two large sides. "One fer me an' one fer y'all."
alright then we'll fry em up, I'm sure it'll make lunch
"Lunch!?? Ah wannit fer dinner."
well it'll have ta be supper and breakfast if we get it cooked this late. ;D
"Naw, Ah'll stay up an' ate it. I'm hongry."
alright, I'll have her cooked up here in a while, ya might go out and check the chickens, see if they's any eggs out there, I don't think Slim's gathered any today. we'll have a regular feast.
Excited, Trinity runs outside. After a few minutes, he returns with a cart loaded with fifteen eggs, a dozen potatoes, bacon from the smokehouse, a beef tongue, two cans of maple syrup, and a sack of coffee. "Ah figgered we might wan' some other tasty tidbits too." ;D
Del's gonna be proud of us, making such a good meal.
reckon he's gonna be back fore long, I think he took the dog and went out checking out some hunting spots.
"Mebbe he'll brang back a eagle fer us ta ate."
I could a got ya a Blue Heron. ;D
"Coulda woulda shoulda. >:( Ozark, looks lahk he di'n't brang us nuffin ta ate." :(
<Authors Note, I found a bunch of black walnut trees just startin' to drop their nuts, gonna go back and get some to make some wood stain, I could send you the nuts, I hate black walnuts.>
<<Not much of a nut fan. I deal with too many of them all day long!>>
uh, well, ya mean I forgot to holler dinners ready, well it's still hot here on the stove.
I have a friend that tells a story about when he was a kid, he had a rash in a real bad spot, somebody told him if he'd get some green walnut hulls and rub it on it real good, it would cure the rash, he said he went down by the river where he knew their were some walnut trees and got him some fresh green ones, cut the hulls off with his pocket knife and pulled his pants down and started rubbing them on, he said in about 10 minutes or so it went to burning so bad he couldn't stand it and he jumped out in the edge of the river where the water would be up on him, said he stayed in there the rest of the afternoon with an awful burning going on, said it finally died down enough to go home, said it cured the rash but the stain turned him black and lasted about 4 months ;D ;D ;D ;D
"Naw, Ah was a-tawlkin' 'bout Dail not brangin' nuffin fer ta ate. Ol' coot!"
<< :o :o Ground up walnut shells... :o :o>>
Well there was a lot of this, them seeds boiled and sugar added makes a darn "lemonade" and has a lot of viterman C.
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/hunting%20rowdy/sumac.jpg)
Irish walks up, "uh Trinity, I bin helpin Stoney take inventory down to tha smokehouse. He saw ya git a couple a slabs a bacon, but he says we are about 6 sides a ham short. Ozark says ya give him two fer makin biscuits n gravy, any ideer whut happent to tha other 4 sides a ham?"
Nervous and fidgety, Trinity responds: "What!? Faw sahds-a poke is a-missin'? Naaaaawwwwww. Tha devil you say!!"
When the sun rises, there is a Frankenpole in the dooryard. ;D
(http://i88.photobucket.com/albums/k186/SilverCreekSlim/Misc/B-ballpole.jpg)
Hearing about the Frankenpole, Trinity begins to worry and runs around looking for his drinking buddy, Frankenbird. Luckily, he finds him passed out behind the shed next to eight empty jugs.
Leaving Frankenbird to sleep it off, Trinity goes to look at the Frankenpole.
"Now, what in Tarnation is we 'posed ta do wif that!"
Suddenly, Delmonico comes out of the house wearing an over sized purple silk suit bouncing an orange ball.
some of miss collinswood's girl's show up to play with Del :o
Delmonico looks down his nose at them because their suits aren't as shiny as his.
a wagon load of Nuns who have been out dove hunting, hear a story about what's going on out ta the ranch, they show up mad.
Then some tall skinny guy shows up.
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/TV%20Movies/wilt.jpg)
Delmonico likes the newcomer because his suit is shiny.
Trinity stares wide eyed as the newcomer starts moving around the yard. In what seems like one motion, he bounces his ball around and through his legs and rolls it off of his shoulders finally knocking into the hoop.
Delmonico decides that since it's been so quiet he's going to fix corned beef and cabbage and puts some corned beef on the stove to simmer over night. ;D
In order to protect the corned beef, Trinity goes and unrolls his bed by the fire. "Ah'll make sure don' no one come near tha beef, Dail."
To further protect it, when Trinity is asleep he wraps and ties 200 feet of rope around the bedroll. ;D
Trinity snores so loud he can't hear Slim walk into the kitchen fer a glass of cold milk.
Irish walks into tha kitchen, stokes up the fire and puts on some coffee. He hears this loud growling noise coming from the yard and thinks it might be a bear. He grabs his gun and heads outside, only to find Trinity snoring loudly all trussed up in his bedroll.
Slim gits a cup of coffee. Goes out ta gather eggs and milk the cow. Trinity is still snoring. ::)
after all the fellars have left the kitchen and relaxed on the porch, Trinity wakes up suddenly, thinking he heard something, he surveys the kitchen and still smells the corned beef,
and goes back to sleep.
Snaarrrrxxxxx!
Deciding Trinity needs his beuty sleep, all the corn beef is eaten while he sleeps. ;D Nothing is left but the smell. ::)
"That was some good corn beef. Thanks, Del." ;)
No problem, ya want to wake Trinity so he can go home and sleep. ;D
Trinity wakes up to find himself unable to move due to all the rope. He calls out to the house: "Dail? Somebody? Kin somebody he'p me? Ah'm hongry!"
Quote from: Delmonico on October 30, 2007, 07:09:24 PM
No problem, ya want to wake Trinity so he can go home and sleep. ;D
"No, he needs his beauty sleep." ;)
"But Ah's awake!!! Come let me loose of this her rope! Ah thank somebody wanned ta stale tha beef!"
Delmonico looks at him and says, "you slept through supper, all the corned beef is gone, all that's left is some cabbage." ;D
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :-X
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!
:'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
Well at least it ain't tofu.
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/food/Oct1001.jpg)
Trinity finds a rock near the fire pit on which some of grease had dripped when Delmonico carried the dutch oven into the house. He picks it up and stares at it. Then, looking to see if anybody is watching, he licks it clean of the grease.
Irish walks into tha house gets a cup a coffee an sez, "Hey Del, Trinity iz out there gnawin on a rock."
"No he ain't, I spilled some grease on a horse apple and he thinks it's a rock." ;D
"Hey, this-har rock is chewy!"
Trinity walks up to the kitchen window and asks someone to pass the molasses, then takes his horse apple to the front porch.
"Mmmmm! Tain' half bad onct ya add 'lasses ta it."
Trinity walks into the kitchen to look for some food. Not finding anybody, he starts a fire in the oven. Once the oven is warm, he sprinkles pepper on a beef roast, adds it to the oven and takes a seat to wait for the meal to finish. After a minute, he falls asleep.
when Trinity awakes, the beef roast looks like a hunk of beef jerky :o
Disheartened but not to give up, Trinity pulls out a butter knife and scrapes off all the flakes of carbon. Then he takes a clever and cuts the roast into small cubes and starts to chew on them.
after chewing on the first one for an hour or so, he throws them in a pot and adds water and starts boiling them.
Delmonico comes in, :Hey any one see that hunk of dead horse I left on the porch, I need to bait my coyote traps?" ;D
"Did it look lahk a beef roast? Kahnda drahed up a mite in tha oven, so Ah'm-a bearlin' some raht now."
Quote from: Delmonico on November 03, 2007, 08:30:30 PM
Delmonico comes in, :Hey any one see that hunk of dead horse I left on the porch, I need to bait my coyote traps?" ;D
Cookin for the VIP's again?
:o
;D :D ;D
:P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P
Trinity tastes the boiled meat mush and decides to make some breakfast instead. "Whar did Sleeum hahd theeyum aigs?"
Slim walks in. "They'z in the icebox." ::)
"Oh... din' thank of thet. Done et me a poun' of bacon instayud. Ah gotta go now an' see how Sherlene is makin' out at tha stills. Thangs is gettin' a mite drah har on tha rainch."
As Trinity walks out and heads to the cabin, it's starts to pour a freezing rain. :o
As the rain begins to fall, Trinity diverts toward the cabin. "Shew! This har rain is a mite chilly. Best let Sherlene do what she's doin' an' go insahd... uh, fer ta check on tha keeyuds."
By the time Trinity gets back to the cabin, the rain has stopped and he finds that Sherlene has invited some of the cooks from Fort Kearny over to cook a meal for him and litl trinity.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/meat2.jpg)
Some embers from tha fire catch some nearby brush on fire. There is a wind that spreads it quickly, Sherlene is releaved to see that it is heading away from tha cabin. Then Trinity notices that it is heading in the direction of Still number three.
Delmonico hears a noise off toward still #3, he looks out the kitchen window as the small pieces of copper rain down in the yard. :o
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/mushroom.jpg)
Trinity drops to the ground sobbing. Abruptly he stops to eye the beef and, assured that it's still safe, begins to cry again. "Nummer thray done give me that bayust squeezin's Ah don' ever haid. Whah oh WHAH does these awful thangs gotta happen ta me?"
On hearing the spit crank squeal, Trinity immediately forgets about the still and jumps up to oil it for the cook.
Delmonico rides out as close as he can get to still site #3, he comes back and tells Trinity, "you might want to replace yer divot out in the pasture afore Slim gets upset." ::)
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/800px-Meteor.jpg)
Trinity scoops up a small cart full of dirt and pushes it out towards still site #3 but freezes as he gets closer.
:o :o :o "Uh oh!"
Delmonico rides up on Reube, "BTW, Slim has been looking for his prize bull, it was out here the last time I saw it." ;D
:o "Prahse? Uh, jes what was so spayshul that made heeum a prahse? Ya reckon he'll take three-a mah bulls in ex-change?"
Never mind, I found him. :D
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/food/Hamburger.jpg)
"Mmmmmmmmmm!!!" *CHOMP!* (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/chow.gif)
Slim grabs a "Mighty Ten", saddles his horse, and rides out lookin' fer Trinity. :o
As Slim leaves, Delmonico sees Duke the yaller dog chewin' on somethin' on the porch, a close inspection shows it's the penis
a part of Slim's bull. Delmonico gets an idea for a new product for dog treats. ;D
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/bully.jpg)
:o :o
Trinity steps out of his hiding place in the brush right after Slim rides out, sees what Duke is chewing on and passes out.
Trinity hides when Slim rides back, "here is some grub for ya Slim," Delmonico says, "I fixed ya Rocky Mountian Oysters, ya know, a regular sack lunch." ::)
From the brush is heard a loud "Booooooooooooooooo".
;D
Slim unloads both barrels of the "Mighty Ten" into the brush. "Must be a varmint in there." ;D
:o *Cough* "Ahem... Moooooooooooooooooo"
"What's Bessie doin' outta the barn?" Slim heads fer the brush.
being as how it's getting dark fast now since it's fall, it's dark by the time gets his horse put up and starts out to get the cow, so he grabs the milk bucket to milk her,
here Bessie
"Woof woof! Mrooowwwww, hisss! Woof! Hisssssss! Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Cockadoodledoo!"
Trinity rolls out all the animal sounds he can make to try to confuse Slim and Ozark.
"Sounds like the barnyard animals are fightin' o'er somethin' agin." ::)
Duke gets all excited and Slim sic's him into the fight.
"Ahhhhhhhh!!" Surprised, Trinity screams and runs deeper into the brush to get away from Duke, who is barking and frantically looking for the other animals.
Suddenly Slim's second best bull shows up havin' heard the mooin', with romance on his mind and lust in his eye. ;D
:o
;D :D ;D
:o
Looks like a Bull-back Mountain senario. :o
;D :D ;D
Trinity runs out of the brush and into the house, screaming all the way.
having ducked in the back door unsean by the others, Trinity comes out on the front porch and asks what's going on. and is there gonna be any supper. ;D
The bull comes up on the porch once he figgers out Trinity ain't a cow and hits him so hard it knocks him cold. ::)
As Trinity lays on the porch, Delmonico starts fixin' supper. Trinity smells the bacon and dreams. ;D
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/ngbbs450d0391e9c80.gif)
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/ngbbs450d0391e9c80.gif)
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/ngbbs450d0391e9c80.gif)
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/ngbbs450d0391e9c80.gif)
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/ngbbs450d0391e9c80.gif)
Trinity smells the bacon frying and comes too and hurries in the house
"Did Ah jes dream tha most wonnerful thang, or is they some daincin' bacon in har?"
"Sure hope yer dreamin'." ::)
"Not me! Ah wanna meet me a daincin' strip-a bacon. Mmmmmm-Mmm!"
probably be doing the happy dnace if ya could eat some.
"Boy, Ah shore would!"
"Looky what Ah jes foun' in wif Dail's Phonygraph discs."
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/Dj20Bacon20-20Happy20Dance20220Fron.jpg)
has it got di rections on how to do that dance
"Ah don' know how ta opyrate that machine ta fahnd out. :-[ "Ah know Dail's awlways yellin' bout needles. Ya got a sewin' needle? Mebbe if'n we sew it onta tha thang, it'll work?"
ya must do that dance a laying on the floor, ya know just gyratin around like a piece of frying bacon
"Ah reckon yer raht. Kinda lahk Ah'm in tha fryin' pane, huh?"
Ozark starts tha music and Trinity lays on the floor and begins to gyrate. Irish sees him and thinks he is having a fit and runs to get Del!
Delmonico tosses some soapy water on the floor, "might as well get the floor mopped while he's at it."
Quote from: Delmonico on November 12, 2007, 08:20:17 AM
Delmonico tosses some soapy water on the floor, "might as well get the floor mopped while he's at it."
;D :D ;D
:P
;D :D ;D
"Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrggggghhhh SOAP!!!" :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o
Trinity tries to get up to run out of the room, but keeps slipping.
When he hits the floor for the third time, Delmonico ties a stick to him and pushes him around all over the floor, he then takes him to the porch and wrings him out. ;D
Wrung out and set against the house to dry, Trinity begins to feel sorry for himself and wonders why he still comes around. Just then the smell of pot roast from the kitchen greets his nose.
Then just before supper is done, Delmonico cranks up the fony-graf.
M
I say M-O
M-O-P
M-O-P-P
Mop
M-O-P-P
Mop Mop Mop Mop
R
I say R-A
R-A-G
R-A-G-G
Rag
R-A-G-G M-O-P-P
Rag Mop
Doo-doo-doo-DAH-dee-ah-dah
Rag Mop
Doo-doo-doo-DAH-dee-ah-dah
Rag Mop
Doo-doo-doo-DAH-dee-ah-dah
Rag Mop
Doo-doo-doo-DAH-dee-ah-dah
Rag Mop
Doo-doo-doo-DAH-dee-ah-dah
R-A-G-G M-O-P-P
Rag Mop!
A
I say A-B
A-B-C
A-B-C-D
A-B-C-D-E
A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H
I
I say M-O
M-O-P
M-O-P-P
Mop
M-O-P-P
Mop Mop Mop Mop
R
I say R-A
R-A-G
R-A-G-G
Rag
R-A-G-G M-O-P-P
Rag Mop
Doo-doo-doo-DAH-dee-ah-dah
Rag Mop
Doo-doo-doo-DAH-dee-ah-dah
Rag Mop
Doo-doo-doo-DAH-dee-ah-dah
Rag Mop
Doo-doo-doo-DAH-dee-ah-dah
Rag Mop
Doo-doo-doo-DAH-dee-ah-dah
R-A-G-G M-O-P-P
Rag Mop
Trinity sits at the table rubbing his belly as the strange music starts. After listening to a few verses, Trinity decides it's time to go relax on the porch, where he can't hear it.
sitting on the porch, the song keeps going thu Trinity's brain and he wants ta lay down on the porch and wiggle around.
Suddenly, the last verse runs through his mind, causing him make a dash for the outhouse. :o :o :o
After Trinity goes inside, Delmonico nails the door shut. ;D
(Only 40 more days to Christmas, gotta get the coal points from Santa.) ;D
Trinitiy just sits there fer a while. then he begins to try to talk to whoever was nailing on the door.
Delmonico can't hear him, he's watered up The Steam Traction Engine and is building a fire in the boiler. ;D
As the fumes start to get stronger, Trinity decides that he's been in long enough. As he tries to exit, however, he finds that the door is stuck. He pounds on the door and pushes on it with all his weight to no avail. As the oxygen levels reduce and the methane levels increase, Trinity begins to feel faint. With his last bit of strength, he cries out for help.
"HE'P!! HEEEEEEEE'PP!!!"
Delmonico ties his log chain to the outhouse and shovels in some more coal and checks the steam gauge. ;D
(Up at the North Pole Santa gets out his naughty list and dips his pen in the inkwell.) ;D
Delmonico tosses 3 sides of bacon in the fire box and the needle climbs into the red a bit. ;D He fastens the chain to the drawbar and opens the valve and away they go with Trinity screamin' louder that the red lined Steam Traction Engine. ;D
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/Traction%20Engines/stem.jpg)
Slim comes out of the barn to see what is up and hits the ground just in time, The Steam Traction Engine passes safely over him. :D However he is hit by the outhouse as it passes. ;D
After hitting Slim and the ground a few times the outhouse busts apart and a rather smelly Trinity lands in the yard next to Irish.
Not being able to stand the smell Irish tosses a bucket of dishwater on Trinity.
Almost immediately Trinity begins to freeze in place.
"Tween Delmonico and Irish Tom, Santa puts the Ranch With No Name down for a 1/2 ton of coal.
Slim picks hisself up and brushes off. "I wish Del would leave me outta his schemes ta get 'presents' from that big elf." ::) ::) ::) ::)
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on November 15, 2007, 03:51:31 PM
Slim picks hisself up and brushes off. "I wish Del would leave me outta his schemes ta get 'presents' from that big elf." ::) ::) ::) ::)
Delmonico says, "I gets us more coal this way." ;D
Soon a flock of Sandhill Cranes that have been feasting on berries at Sod Buster's come flying over head. They see Trinity and decide to purge them themselves......
Bombs away!!
Santa adds adds 100 pounds of coal for the guy in the sodhouse on his list. ;D
Thanks to the birds, Trinity looks out at the world through rose tinted ice.
Sherlene shows up and builds a fire to thaw out Trinity. He is almost completely thawed, and is beginning to move when his hat catches fire. Irish throws another bucket of water on him and he freezes in a slightly different pose. Irish loads the new Trinity ice statue on his wagon and drops it off in front of Trinity and Sherlene's cabin
Santa put's tha Ranch With No Name down for another 1/4 ton of coal!
Slim saddles up and rides toward the herd.
At the same time the herd is thundering toward Slim! :o
at the same time, Delmonico pulls on the steam tractors whistle to signal supper.
His six gun flashed like lightning, the report rang loud and clear
As the cattle rushed toward him he dropped the leading steer.
The rest of course ran over Slim. ;D
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
dang them red bandannas :(
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on November 16, 2007, 03:20:38 PM
dang them red bandannas :(
He shoulda know they aint ripe till they turn yaller! :o
When Slim limps inta the kitchen, Delmonico is singin':
Slim got run over by a Longhorn, ridin' in the north pasture yestersday. ;D
Sod Buster heads over to the Ranch with No Name to see what they are up to for Turkey Day. He brings Pecan Pies and some veggies.
Slim is backed up against the wood pile, axe in hand facing this. ;D
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/turkey.jpg)
And it's winning! ;D
Delmonico looks out the kitchen window to see why Slim has not brought the turkey in to be cooked yet. ::) Seeing what is goin' down and seein' that the sun is goin' down, he reaches for a different cookbook. :o
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/food/Oct1001.jpg)
Duke comes along and rescues Slim. ::)
Frankenbird comes out and gets the turkey and takes him back to the barn. with his sun glasses still on and the sun gone down Slim goes out to the barnyard to see if he can find the turkey.
Delmonico hollors, "Supper." When everyone is seated he says, "well thanks to Slim, all we have is Tofu Turkey." ::)
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/food/tofuturkey.jpg)
Poor ol' Utah Carrol.
Utah Carrol??
Trinity walks out of the kitchen with two alternatives.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/tg06_turkey_burned1-770900.jpg)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/badly_burned_pot.jpg)
Ozark looks at the meals Trinity is carrying, cooked them yerself? he asks
"Yeah, whah? C'mon, deeg eeyun.
"Oh! Ah jus' 'membered! Ol' Sherlene, is 'posed ta have a meal pre-pared fer tha fambly. If'n any of y'awll wanna come, jes brang mah turkey an' dressin' an' let's git in tha buckbode an' have ol' Ruben take us."
before the last word is out of Trinity's mouth, the wagon is loaded and the boys are hollering fer Trinity to come on.
When they arrive, they find that Sherlene is just finishing serving the table for the group...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/turkey42.gif)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/APPLE20PIE.jpg)
... and a separate table for Trinity and litl trinity.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/turkey.gif)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/52720494ThanksgivingDinner11_24_05.jpg)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/306610Thanksgiving-Dinner-with-Turk.jpg)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/ApplePie6A.jpg)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/cherrypieArnow.jpg)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/cherry-pie.jpg)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/112206pumpkinpie.jpg)
Before the fellers can sit down Trinity and litl trinity have reduced the four turkeys to bare bones. There is very little else left except vegetables!
Sherlene just smiles and says: "Them boys shore do have an appetite. I was prepared for this."
With that she gets up and goes to the kitchen and returns with another turkey stuffed with vegetables so that Trinity and litl trinity wouldn't eat any.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/dinner.jpg)
as the boys are eating the turkey, they talk about how much litl trinity is like big Trinity.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/crazy_fat_kid.gif)
A Drummer, I see ...
He's certainly had plenty of drumsticks! ;) ;)
"I think that boy needs a Dr. Kellogg treatment." :o ;D
"Yaw'll leave mah litl trinity alone. He's only a ye'r ol'!"
Quote from: Trinity on November 27, 2007, 08:36:17 PM
"Yaw'll leave mah litl trinity alone. He's only a ye'r ol'!"
What does he think about the twins that are due in January ;D ;D ;D ;D
"What, did you an' miss Collin'wood shack up?" :o :o
I heard Sherlene say she had a pair in the oven, I thought she was talking bout them turkeys she cooked :o
Quote from: Trinity on November 27, 2007, 08:44:26 PM
"What, did you an' miss Collin'wood shack up?" :o :o
Delmonico whaps Trinity with a 4X2 board, "you mean Mr's Trinity hasn't told you, you didn't notice." ::) ;D ;D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on November 27, 2007, 08:46:20 PM
I heard Sherlene say she had a pair in the oven, I thought she was talking bout them turkeys she cooked :o
"She prolly was. She had ta make a couple extry fer her an' tha girl an' her mama'n'fambly."
Quote from: Delmonico on November 27, 2007, 08:48:29 PM
Delmonico whaps Trinity with a 4X2 board, "you mean Mr's Trinity hasn't told you, you didn't notice." ::) ;D ;D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
"Oww! Ah hain' been har in quite a spail ta heah her ramble on. I don' know what on earf you could be tawkin' 'bout?"
Trinity glances at Sherlene and whispers to Del. "She's been busy a-bakin' Christmas cookies. Shaw looks lahk she's been a tastin' a few, don' it."
Trinity, me Lad, Del is tryin ta tell ya yer wife is in tha family way, dontcha know!
"Yeah, sometahms, she gits in mah way, but never tha who fambly at onct. She ain' that beeug."
Delmonico says, "fooled ya, ya been worryin' 'bout that all day." ;D
{Santa puts Demonico down for another 1/4 ton of coal.} ;D
Trinity looks back at his wife and wipes the sweat from his brow. It has once again been proven that denial is the answer for all his troubles.
Quote from: Trinity on November 28, 2007, 09:09:52 PM
Trinity looks back at his wife and wipes the sweat from his brow. It has once again been proven that denial is the answer for all his troubles.
De Nile is a river in Egypt, De Dismal is the river in Newbrassky. ;D
Besides that, rumor is yer in far more trouble anyway. ;D
Delmonico comes back to the ranch after raisin' heck all over Tall Talesland. ;D He then finds Trinity sleepin' on the couch in the ranch house and then ties him up. He then puts all the chicken wings from the littleroosterville Hooters in a pot and boils them up fer chicken and noodles. ;D
He then sneaks into Slim's room, removes all the shot from his 10 gauge shells and replaces it with string. ???
{Santa throws his hands up and files a mineral claim in eastern Wyoming so he won't have to haul coal as far.} ;D ::) ;)
An old Indian Medicine Man rides into The Ranch With No Name to talk to Delmonico, he feeds the old fella Trinity's share of supper before he rides on. Delmonico hollors, "Batten down the hatches boys, get the cattle and horses to shelter tommorow, Him Who Hates Snow was just by and said we could be in fer a nasty one this weekend, we need to bring in coal and wood fer the fires.
Delmonico then goes out and opens the petcock on the boiler to The Steam Traction Engine (always capitalize The Steam Traction Engine) and drains the water out, he then goes to the work shop and barn and brings all the shovels in to the mudroom.
Slim starts bringing in firewood.
Irish starts brining in buckets of coal, he comments to Del that the supply of coal is starting to run a little low. He hopes Del has been extra bad this year.
Slim looks at the thermometer on the porch. It reads 6 degrees. He gets the chimney sweep equipment from the barn and sweeps the chimneys.
(http://us.ent3.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/walt_disney/mary_poppins/chimneysweeps.jpg)
Not knowing Slim is trying to sweep the chimney, Trinity feels a draft and starts a fire.
Delmonico hears the word draft and goes and rereads this thread. ;D
http://www.cascity.com/forumhall/index.php/topic,17735.0.html
He then sees Trinity with a big can of coal oil in his hand and a box of matches, he takes both away.
"But, Ah wanned ta have me a fahr!. It's gettin' col' in har!"
Let me do it, Delmonico shaves up some Red Cedar, piles on some corn cobs and puts just a dollop of coal oin on and lites a match and touches it off.
As Del lights the fire Irish thinks he hears a scream from the roof.
The scream continues until everyone hears a thud outside the window, then a slight moaning sound.
Ozark looks out the winder into the dark, saying I didn't know we had any wildcats up here
Delmonico goes out with a bucket of water and tosses it on Slim to put him out since he's on fire. Of course it freezes up on Slim. ::)
(Santa hope the CB&Q gets their rails to his mineral claim afore Christmas.) ::)
Trinity goes to the window to see what everybody is staring at. "Hey, lookee! Someone done made a ahce sculpture of ol' Sleeum!"
By mornin' the whole ranch is covered with ice, not just Slim. ;D
Irish gets up and starts some coffee, then he goes out and puts Christmas decorations on Slim so he doesn't look out of place for the Holidays!
The first storm fizzled out, but Delmonico battens down for the next wave. ;D
Trinity strings some garland on Slim to enhance the holiday effect.
;D
Delmonico looks at the clock and the sun and starts to load the wagon, he sends Slim to look fer Trinity. ;D
Yup...it's almost that time......time to get nekked and dance around the yule log! yippee!!!!
Slim finally breaks free from the ice. ::) Saddles up and heads fer Trinity's cabin.
Delmonico stops with the wagon and picks up Slim, Trinity and they stop at the soddy and pick up Sod buster and head out. ;D
They arrive ath the Oak Grove on the Dismal, 3 Burr Oaks together. While Delmonico is parkin' the wagon, Trinity is takin' off his clothes and pourin' coal oil on the wood. ;D
Trinity lights a match and:
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/mushroom.jpg)
This blows off Slim's cloths and he dances around after bein' singed. :o
Sod Buster unpacks the holly, ivy, mistletoe and yule log.
Quote from: Sod Buster on December 21, 2007, 08:23:59 PM
Sod Buster unpacks the holly, ivy, mistletoe and yule log.
Trinity looks and that and says, "Durn, I wanted somethin' to eat besides salad." ;D
Sod Buster reminds Trinity about the "magical reindeer" that can sometimes be seen during the solstice. Sod Buster suggests that Trinity try to catch it and we can roast it over the burning yule log.
Trinity sits down and whimpers while he waits for the Magical Reindeer to appear. ;D
Still waitin' for the reindeer, Trinity's belly starts rumbling louder and louder. Concerned that the noise may keep the reindeer away, Trinity starts nibblin' on his finger & toenails for temporary nourishment.
Irish starts a small fire and boils some water, he uses the steam to warm some blankets for the fellers once they are done with the festivities!
The gang finally gets back from the festivities. Depressed that he never got to catch & eat the magical reindeer, Trinity sets to decorating his cabin for the holiday season:
Slim put a present on the stairs to the cupola. A tear rolls down his cheek. :'( He goes to the kitchen ta start breakfast.
"Happy new yar fellers! That was some good daincin' but Ah shaw is sorry that we din't git none of them magical reindeers. :( Ah reckon we'll jes' haveta git one-a Stoneys peeugs."
"Coffee'z hot. Fresh ham and eggs on the stove. Dig in 'fore the others eat it all." ;D
"Wail, sin' nobody ails wan'ed any..." Trinity grabs the serving plate and scrapes it all onto his plate except for one slice of ham. A short while later, Trinity asks: "Anybody wan' that last piece?"
Irish looks over at O.T. n sez, "I aint got tha heart ta tellim we had a big ole meal while he wuz trying ta find that reindeer."
"Wha's that ya say, LIT?" Trinity yells across the table.
"Ya aint gotta yell, I aint deef, yet!" "I wuz tellin O.T. I hope you enjoy yer meal." ;D
"Oh. Thankee! Ah deeud. Ah'm a-waitin' fer DEE-sert now. SLEEEUM!, wha's fer DEEEE-sert?"
Quote from: Trinity on January 07, 2008, 05:00:34 PM
"Oh. Thankee! Ah deeud. Ah'm a-waitin' fer DEE-sert now. SLEEEUM!, wha's fer DEEEE-sert?"
Sod Buster busts in through the door with a Spinach Pie (Spanikopita) YUM!
Before he can take a seat, Trinity throws a lasso over him and drags him outside and goes back inside. After a moment, Trinity returns, pushing Sod Buster's pie with the broom and sweeps it into the dirt.
"That's wahl varmint food, an' we don' 'llow no wahl varmints in har!" >:(
Trinity decides to mount up and head for his cabin where real food is served.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/th_ChristmasinTexas2007130.jpg) (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/ChristmasinTexas2007130.jpg)
watch out fer them tumbleweeds, libale to trip him up. ;D
As Trinity mounts, the horse groans.
Trinity calls back to OT "Why, whatever do you mea... Ouch!" *SPLAT*
Slim rides to the ranch house and glances over at the windmill and sees a long 'stension cord plugged inta the weather proof outlet and the cord runnin' down the trail as far as he can see. ::)
He goes into the kitchen where Delmonico is makin' supper, but decides he don't want to know. ;D
Irish goes over and helps Trinity back on his steed. Next he starts moving coal and wood to the house, looks like a storm is brewing. On his last trip he notices a funny cord hanging from the windmill, don't belong to him so he ignores it.
Slim goes out ta milk the cow. He starts milkin' her and ice milk comes out. :o :o :o
Trinity watches and announces: "If'n we ain' got no Ahs Crame, Ahs Meeulk will do." ;D
Trinity awakens from a deep sleep, and goes to the kitchen and mixes up a cherry cobbler, when it's done, Trinity stands and looks at it in amazement, :o :o
where'd I learn to cook that. ??? ??? ???
Trinity looks at the empty pan and decides that Sherlene must have made it.
"Wailp, if'n she made it, she kin clane it up." Trinity quickly leaves the room and the dirty dishes behind.
As Trinity passes through the doorway Sherlene's rolling pin makes contact with his head.
A blue plate flies in o'er the ranch house and takes Del away. Slim runs to his room and shoots at it with the gun Gopher Grease gave him. But, as before the blue plate flies off. :(
Sod Buster looks up from his Soddy and sees the Blue Plate streaking overhead....dragging a purple comforter. :o
;D
Marshal grabs the mighty 10, N shoot the Blue Plate.
Dell rains down N forms a Sheep Circle :o
Irish starts ringing the bell on Dell's Steam Engine, hollerin, "We gotta git a Posse together and rescue Del from the Blue Plates!"
Trinity looks at the scene in the pasture and spits. "Dern sheep circles. Figgered Dail would have ta leave us one-a theeyum thangs behahnd." >:(
Trinity walks back into the house hoping to find another cobbler.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=510372
;D
;D :D ;D
8)
with Del back in his bed recouperating, Slim decides to go out and feed his chickens.
Trinity hears the commotion of the chickens and begins to dream of fried chicken. (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/chickenleg.gif)(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/chickenleg.gif)(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/chickenleg.gif)(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/chickenleg.gif)(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/chickenleg.gif)(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/chickenleg.gif)
"Mmmmmmmmmm!" (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/drool2.gif)
Irish stands watch in case the blue plates come back.
"How'd I git this weird hat and sweater on?" ::)
Delmonico gets up out of bed and makes sausage gravy and sourdough biscuits. ;)
Trinity arrives at the table before Del places the last plate down.(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/eat.gif)
Looking at Slim, Trinity comments, "Don' worry none, 'bout tha hat an' sweater. You's gettin' ta lookin' right old, pard."
"Old?" Slim looks in a mirror.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
"...An' Ah hate Ah din' notice, but when didja shave off yer be'rd?"
"My beard!!!!"
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!
"Don' you worry none, Sleeum. Har, take somma these an' some glue..."
(http://www.thewhistlepost.com/forums/gallery/data/500/medium/Waterfall_008.jpg)
"I hope that ain't yer belly button lint." :o ::)
I think Slim's beard must'a froze off, when he was up there in Wisconsin a visiting. :o
"Whah, Sleeeum! What on Earf would cause ya thank such a thang? OT, it ain' no tellin' what kahnda thangs kin happen ta heeeyum when he visits up Wisconsoioin way. ;D"
Trinity watches sits on the porch, watching the paint peel when the wind kicks up a little.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/b6d0nk.jpg)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/tumbleweed-1.gif)
"Those dern rushin' thistles." ::)
"Done watched ten of 'em blow by today. Ah wonner if Dail is a-knowin' about them thangs."
Trinity gets out his guitar and sings him a song
I'm a roaming cowboy riding all day long,
Tumbleweeds around me sing their lonely song.
Nights underneath the prairie moon,
I ride along and sing this tune.
See them tumbling down
Pledging their love to the ground
Lonely but free I'll be found
Drifting along with the tumbling tumbleweeds.
Cares of the past are behind
Nowhere to go but I'll find
Just where the trail will wind
Drifting along with the tumbling tumbleweeds.
I know when night has gone
That a new world's born at dawn.
I'll keep rolling along
Deep in my heart is a song
Here on the range I belong
Drifting along with the tumbling tumbleweeds
Just as Trinity finishes singing, a dirt filled sock flies in from the dark dooryard and hits him in the face.
(Delmonico hit one with his pick-up a month or so ago, about 2 blocks from his house, they pile up on the fences around him.) ;D
Delmonico says not a word, but packs his bag, saddles Reuben and heads off toward Dunning. ;D ::) :o :o :o :o :o
With a sore mouth, Trinity asks, "Is that Dail yonder in tha dark?"
"Trinity, it aint dark lad, take tha sock off yer face."
"Oh." Trinity removes the sock, but Delmonico has already left. "Whar's Dail? Ah done hert his voice, but he t'ain' nowhars ta be seen."
Mebbe he's a ghost out ta haint ya Trinity.
:o :o :o
"Pssshht! Ah don' b'lieve in such thangs!" Trinity pulls his jug closer and glances nervously around.
Delmonico reaches Dunning, puts Reuben in the Livery Stable and boards the eastbound CB&Q. ;D
Trinity steps out on the porch with his jug and a shotgun all the while muttering to himself, "Tain' no ghosts 'roun' har!"
Slim opens his door and finds Delmonico put a can of flour above it. ;D
Slim shakes his head, flaps and slaps the flour around till it covers him head to toe :o
Just then, Trinity turns around and looks at Slim, emits a high pitched shriek and runs and hides in the barn.
Slim runs to the river to remove the flour before Delmonico gets home and fries him cause he's already dusted with flour. ;D
Delmonico is about ready to board the train in Omaha, shoppin' done, when he goes into a record store, sees a new long play wax cylinder from a guy he used to know in Lincoln. He buys it cause the 4th track looks interestin'. ;D
http://www.amazon.com/Lines-Dirt-Brad-Colerick/dp/B000S0H1HC/ref=pd_bxgy_m_img_a/002-0424738-3648005
Trinity comes a sneaking out of the barn and Slim comes a crawling out of the river and they both find that Spring has sprung, Slim goes to check the chickens, to see how many he's gonna havta replace for spring. Trinity goes to check his supply of liquid refreshment, to see how much corn he's gonna havta get fer Sodbuster to plant, to replinish his supply.
with Delmonico still gone the boys go ta having Spring fever attacks.
Trinity figures out how much corn he'll need but sits down to a meal before going over to request the corn. "That stranger in tha soddy is jes plumb strange! Ah gotta ate me somethin' afore Ah go, 'cause he shore ain' gonna have nothin' fittin' fer human consumption." ::) :P
"Sherlene!!! We got any maw chicory? Ah's thuhsty!"
Trinity tells Sherlene to fry up some of that chicken he brought home too. just be sure and tell Slim when ya see him, that the winter weather sure was hard on chickens, a lot of em just seemed to fall over dead. tell him he needs to just get him a lot of new ones to raise.
"Hurry up an' cook 'em, Ah thank Ah see ol' Sleeum a-comin' up tha way! :o We's gonna haveta tail'im that it's a bunny what we's atin."
*after several months on the cam-pain trail* Litl' Rooster rides up to Ranch with no Name, on a barried White horse named "Mescalito" >sounds like a bad country song< bearing fresh killed rabbits for the sunday meal. Looks around and see's nothing has changed here much. After loosening the cinch he ties the horse near the tank, then walks over to the hayrack and digs around for Trinity's emergency jug. After a long pull on the jug, he places it back in the same spot. Then walks towards the house. The smell of fried chicken fills the air, Lilt' Rooster gets a whiff. Realizing now that he would be unnounced and the others have plans he returns to the horse. Pulls the cinch up ties the dead rabbits to the cantle and hops up on the horse. Heads him toward the dirt farmers place. Think he might like some fresh meat toadd to all them vegtables
;D
Sod Buster sees Litl Rooster coming in the distance and gets the veggies ready for some rabbit stew.
Irish has been working his team and checking out his wagon in preparation for spring. On his way back to the Ranch With No Name he sees litl rooster's horse at the Stranger's Soddy and decides to stop for a visit, he pulls a bottle of Irish Whiskey from the wagon and knocks on the door of the Soddy.
Sod Buster opens the door and invites Lucky Irish Tom in for some stew. He gets some glasses down from the shelf and blows the dust out of them for sharing the Whiskey that Irish brought. They toast the holiday a few times.
midway through the first toast, a knock on the door and there's Trinity standing outside wondering what kinda drink they opened :o ;D
The westbound CB&Q arrives in Dunning, a large crate is unloaded off the baggage car. :o Delmonico arranges for a frieghter to haul it to the ranch. He gets Reuben out of the Livery Stable and heads west to the ranch. ::)
After investigating the drinks, Trinity looks around the recognizes the partiers.
"Wail howdy litl rooster, wailcome back! Ah done thought you was got by a rustler. :o An looky, it's LIT fresh from tha doctor. Who's that funny lookin' feller in tha cawnuh yonder?"
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/Hasenpfeffer.jpg)
Delmonico rides back to the ranch, puts Reuben in the barn and heads inside. In about an hour a freight wagon shows up and Delmonico has a large crate and a long box put into his room by the freighters. ::)
"Is that Charlie Utter yonder totin' a crate in ta Dail's room?"
Quote from: Trinity on March 26, 2008, 06:55:05 PM
"Is that Charlie Utter yonder totin' a crate in ta Dail's room?"
Not paying any attention to Trinity, Delmonico takes the long box out to his workshop after he locks his bedroom door. He puts a do not disturb sign on his workshop door. ;D
"Wail! If'n he don' wanna tawk, mebbe Sherlene an' tha keeyuds will."
Trinity stomps off in the direction of his cabin. :D
Delmonico opens the peep hole on his workshop door and watches Trinity leave, he shugs his shoulder and gets back to work on his latest project. :o Reuben sticks his head in the door that leads to his stall and Duke lays out on the floor, "fellas, Trinity will be sorry he left in a huff when he sees this." ::)
Delmonico comes out of his workshop, tosses a long cardboard box in the burning pile and climbs onto the roof of the house. ::) After about an hour he comes back down and there is something new up on the roof. ;D
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/TV%20Movies/400px-Television_Antenna.jpg)
Trinity walks back from his cabin and notices the new addition.
"Whah, that's mahty nahce a' Dail ta put up sumpin' fer tha birds ta perch on." :)
"I was thinkin' the same thang." ;D
Slim starts thinking about taking it down to put in his chicken house, looks like it'd make a good roost fer in there
Delmonico sees Slim comin' to the house with a ladder. When he gets halfway up, for some reason the ladder falls. ::) As Slim lays there in the dirt with the wind knocked out of him, Duke marks him as his own. ;D
Delmonico moves a wooden box with a glass front to the living room. He hooks up a wire from the bird perch to it and one to the generator on the windmill and turns a knob. A little light comes on in the middle of the glass, that after a few minutes gets bigger and covers the whole thing. ::)
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/TV%20Movies/TP-KMTVb.jpg)
Delmonico says, "Oh Poop," and puts the ladder back on the house and goes up and fiddles with the bird perch, then comes back down. ;D
Delmonico goes to the living room and sees this behind the the glass on the box. ;D
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/TV%20Movies/TP-XETAb.jpg)
"Woops, went to far." ::) Delmonico heads back to the roof. ::)
Trinity wanders into tha house an sees the box with tha strange piture.
For some reason beyond his control he sits in front of the box an drools on tha floor.
Never allowing his eyes to leave the box, Trinity reaches and fumbles until he finds a jug. He continues to stare at the test pattern while sipping recipe.
Ozark comes in the house and sees Trinity a sitting and watching a wooden box and sees the bulls eye asks Trinity who's gonna be a shooting? ::)
Delmonico comes down from movin' the bird perch and says "WOW, I got it."
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/TV%20Movies/TP-WOWb.jpg)
with the bullseye in the box, Trinity leans out of the winder and hollars at Sherlene and the kids to come on in the house and see the new gadget Del's got.
Trinity goes up to his old room and retrieves his rusty Remington. Back downstairs, he tells Ozark Tracker:
"Alright, now Ah got me fahve bulls-ahs ta git. Ya ready?"
Duke grabs Trinity by the seat of the pants and drags him outside. He takes Trinity's Remmy away and buries it way out in the pasture. Delmonico fiddles with the knobs some more and gets this:
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/TV%20Movies/TP-CBS-net-color.jpg)
Then suddenly this shows up behind the glass. ;D
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/TV%20Movies/gunsmoke.jpg)
Trinity digs his Remington out of the pasture and rushes inside, surprised not to find the targets, but a couple cowpokes in odd clothes.
Trinity goes to the box and looks behind it and then into the glass again. Perplexed, he grabs his jug and seats himself directly in front of the box again and sits to find out what happens.
Trinity sits and watches the whole show, the Marshall arrests a moonshiner and takes him to jail
Just as Trinity raises his gun to shoot, the show changes and on come 2 fellers with a guitar and sing a song.
Got a letter just this mornin' it was postmarked Omaha
It was typed and neatly written offerin' me this better job
Better job at higher wages, expenses paid and a car
But I'm on TV here locally and I can't quit, I'm a star
Hah-ha I come on TV grinnin,' wearin' pistols and a hat
It's a kiddy show and I'm a hero of the younger set
I'm the number one attraction every supermarket parkin' lot
I'm the king of Kansas City, no thanks, Omaha, thanks a lot
CHORUS:
Kansas City star, that's what I are
Yodel-deedle ay-hee, you oughta see my car
I drive a big old Cadillac with wire wheels, got rhinestones on the spokes
I got credit down at the grocery store
And my barber tells me jokes
I'm the number one attraction every supermarket parkin' lot
I'm the king of Kansas City, no thanks, Omaha, thanks a lot
After Slim gets his breath back and washed from Duke's "marking", he goes in the living room and yells at Trinity. "Down in front!" ::)
"Wha!? Oh, Ah weeul in jes a minute. It's jes gettin' good."
Irish walks in and sees Slim an Trinity staring at a talking moving picture box. For some reason a chill runs down Irish spine like he might be witnessing the beginning of the downfall of Civilization.
Delmonico comes in with a big bowl of popcorn and some grape soda from the Tecumseh bottlling company. ;D
"Next Saturday night we'll get this warmed up quicker and watch Have Gun Will Travel." ;)
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/TV%20Movies/richard-boone-c2.jpg)
"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"
Delmonico fixes him a samwhich and sits in his easy chair, after turnin' on the magic box with the glass front. ::)
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/TV%20Movies/nick-adams-dabw.jpg)
The music starts and Trinity starts to sing along
Johnny Yuma was a rebel and he roamed through the West
Delmonico makes another samwhich when the adver-ties-mint comes on. ;D
"Hey Trinity, you better go back to yer cabin, don't want you havin' no night-mares." :o
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/TV%20Movies/TheTwilightZoneLogo.gif)
Trinity goes into another room till he hears the music for his favorite show.
Listening for his favorite show, he hears the Twilight Zone theme, which scares him. He quickly sticks his fingers in his ears and begins to hum loudly the song of Johnny Yuma.
Totally hypnotized by Del's talking picture box, Slim has neglected collecting the eggs or milking the cow. :o
A show Delmonico don't want to watch comes one, he goes in to make another samwhich and gets an idea. ;D
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/TV%20Movies/mmtc.jpg)
He goes to his room and fire up the Coal Oil Computor and sends an order off to western New York on the 4 strand (broad band) bob wire connection. ;D
Delmonico comes back and brings his samwhich to his chair and sees what is now on the magic box. ::)
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/TV%20Movies/Popeye-meets-ali-baba.jpg)
He remembers he forgot somethin' and goes back to the kitchen for some iced tea. ;D
When he comes back, he finds Trinity sitting Indian style in front of the TV, laughing at Bluto. "Looky Dail! That feller looks lahk mah brother, Bambino."
TLD asks Del, Do you have any potted meat left, I would like to make myself a sammich.
A freight wagon shows up from Dunning, Delmonico has the freighter unload the sheets of that new fangled 'luminum into his workshop. ;D
After payin' the freighter he goes inside and locks the door. Soon there are hammerin' noises comin' from the shop. :o
Trinity hears the words potted meat, jumps up and looks over to see if Del has any left.
The hammerin' stops in the shop and Delmonico comes out with Reuben saddled and a rope, he heads out to Slim's pasture and ropes a steer which he drags out behind the barn and then shoots it behind the ear his pistol. :o
While Trinity is looking for Potted Meat, Sod Buster comes over and turns the channel on the magic box:
(http://www.citytv.com/images/shows-winnipeg/prairieFarmReport_lrg.jpg)
Delmonico comes inta the kitchen with a big pile of steaks, which he starts pounding with his meat tenderizin' hammer. When done he tosses them in the oven to bake and brings some taters from the cellar. Grabbin' a parin' knife he peels them and tosses them in a pot to boil. ;D
the report says most of the potato's are in the ground in the southern parts of the country,
looks like the sweet corn planting may be set back by all the flooding conditions
Delmonico mashes the taters and puts them aside. He takes the overdone chopped steaks out, sets them aside and makes gravy out of the drippings. ;D He them makes a peach cobbler and some sour dough bisquits and puts them in the oven. ::)
Delmonico sees the farm report is over and a new show is on.
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/TV%20Movies/The_Flying_Nun.jpg)
He runs in and says, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, not that one. ::) :o :P :-X
He turns the dial and finds one the guy from the sod house would like. ;D
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/TV%20Movies/250px-Greenacres.jpg)
Yeah buddy! ;D
I get a kick out of Mr Haney!
(http://i146.photobucket.com/albums/r252/SparkleFarkle54/jar2.jpg)
Sod Buster turns the dial and sees Mr. Haney on anther channel... ???
(http://cache.viewimages.com/xc/3225275.jpg?v=1&c=ViewImages&k=2&d=27D044C0A019FA6CCCF8220A986F7424A55A1E4F32AD3138)
YEE HAAAA!!! I'm back in the saddle. ;D ;D
Back in the saddle again, Out where a friend is a friend. Gene and his last side kick, Pat Buttrum. I get to see Gene alot on the Western Channel. That Western Channel is like going to the Saturday Matinee every day.
Trinity becomes very dejected upon hearing that corn planting may have to be pushed back. He mopes until he see's Arnold the pig, which cheers him up.
(http://www.findagrave.com/photos/2006/301/14282158_116218659816.jpg)
Suddenly, he remembers that he had been searching for potted meat and recalls that he had a stash up in his old room. He goes and retrieves five cans and a loaf of Del's sourdough bread and takes it all into the picture box room for TLD and whoever else might want some.
Delmonico goes out to the workshop and brings in a whole bunch of 'luminum trays he hammered out of the sheet 'luminum. ::)
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/food/48da_1.jpg)
He goes to the pantry and gets some home canned corn and grean beans. In the different sections of the trays he puts in beans, corne, cobbler, mashed taters and gravy and an over cooked chopped steak. ;D He covers each one with tinfoil and marks them:
DELMONICO"S
Magic Box Dinner
Over Cooked Chopped Steak and Lumpy Mashed Taters
To Cook, Pre-Heat oven to hot, cooked for 27 1/2 minutes with tinfoil cover on.
Delmonico takes them out to the icehouse to freeze. ::)
"Del, you'll never git anyone but Trinity ta buy those." ;D ::)
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on April 05, 2008, 11:49:41 AM
"Del, you'll never git anyone but Trinity ta buy those." ;D ::)
Delmonico says not a word, but goes and flips the dial and this comes up. ::)
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/TV%20Movies/Wheres_the_beef_commercial.jpg)
"Well they are gonna have to ride 125 miles to Grand Island to get the junk they are advertisin' here." ;D Don't think they can pull themselves away that long." ;D
Then another show comes on:
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/TV%20Movies/gro.jpg)
Delmonico takes several "Magic Box Dinners" out of the oven and passes them around, everyone includin' Slim digs in. ;)
Trinity do you have any Cheeze Whiz to go with that Potted meat. Get some good homemade wheat bread to put on. Wash it all down with some Cheerwine or Big Red.
Trinity runs up to his hidden stash and brings down the makings for a grand party.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/cheese_wiz.jpg)(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/istockphoto_598636_spray_cheese.jpg)(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/wonderbread.gif)(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/breadG_228x239.jpg)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/5001.jpg)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/Cheer_wine.gif)(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/Cheer_wine.gif)(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/Cheer_wine.gif)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/big-red.jpg)(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/big-red.jpg)(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/big-red.jpg)(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/big-red.jpg)(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/big-red.jpg)
While still watching "You Bet Your Life", TLD says the secret word "Cheerwine" and the little birdy drops down!
He wins $100
(http://www.lucyfan.com/groucho.jpg)
Suddenly the program changes to another birdie. ::)
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/TV%20Movies/Woody-woodpecker-title-card.jpg)
Woody Woodpecker Show used come on Sat. Morning. Walter Lantz was Woody's creator.
As Delmonico tosses another round of "Magic Box Dinners inta the oven, from the livin' room he hears a wailin' and knashin' of teeth. ::)
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/TV%20Movies/cbs_1.jpg)
Delmonico goes outside an chases Frankin Bird off the gadget on the roof. ;D He hears a sceam and Trinity runs out of the house and heads to his cabin at a fast pace. :o
Delmonico goes in and sees what is on the Magic Box. ::)
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/TV%20Movies/Bateshower.jpg)
Then he knows what scared Trinity, the shower. ;D
Trinity runs half way home before he realizes he won't get wet, so as not to waste a trip, he stops by still #5 and brings a couple of jugs with him back to the house.
When he gets back to the ranch house he finds all the guys around the Magic Box with their tongues hangin' out watchin' a girlie show. ;D
(I hope I can get this past the danged moderator, we'll see.)
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XXX
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(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/TV%20Movies/Petticoat_Junction_title_screen.jpg)
After someone reads him the title, Trinity knocks everybody over as he forces his way to a spot right in front of the screen.
Trinity sings along with the song.
there's Uncle Joe he's a moving kinda slow, at the Junction,
Trintiy turns around and tells everyone he had an Uncle Joe that moved kinda slow.
All that singin' made Trinity hungry so he goes in and fixs himself a potted meat sammich.
In the ice box, he finds some individually wrapped slices of something yellow/orange, which he adds to his sandwich. While eating, he reflects on his Uncle Joe and the time he tripped and fell down the well.
"I've fallen and I can't get up"!
"Oh, he done got up, but, no one hert him a-cawlin'. It weren't till Sattidy come an' ma wen' ta tha wail fer our dang momfly baf. He done awlready give up on yellin', and she din't know he was down thar an' jes' tossed tha bucket in, hittin' him square on tha nose. Wail, he scramed an' ma scramed, causin' pa ta go runnin' wif his shotgun. Ifn' it wasn't fer uncle Joe's unmistakable odor, he'd prolly be daid now."
Did the well-water survive?
:D :D :D
I don't remember what exact distance, but it takes a while fer water to purify itself! Hard ta do in a well!
Over 1000, now.
Suddenly Trinity comes out of the living room screaming again and heads to his cabin, Delmonico looks at the magic box to see what the problem is this time. ::)
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/TV%20Movies/Frankenstein_Karloff.jpg)
Doan worry Del, He'll be back directly, he left 3 jugs a sqeezins next to tha piture box.
Just so Trinity won't be scared when he comes back, Delmonico turns the knob, he looks, says, this show is a bomb." ::)
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/TV%20Movies/Slim-pickens_riding-the-bomb.jpg)
He then turns the knob again.
He finds some folks wantin' to buy soda pop for everyone. ;D
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/TV%20Movies/hilltop1.jpg)
He leaves it there and says, "well it's a heck of a lot better than listenin' to folks beg." ::)
;D
Then another show starts
At 12 noon, the afternoon matt-inn-aye comes on.
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/TV%20Movies/Apocalypse_Now_Smell_Like_Victory.jpg)
That's where my saying below comes from. ;D
Trinity is sitting in his hammock at home and scratches around for a jug, but can't find it.
"Sherlene!! Whar'd you put mah squeezin's? Sherlene!!!!!"
Trinity gets up and stomps off in the direction of the ranch muttering under his breath. "Tarnation! Ya'd thank them keeyuds is maw impawtant than me! >:( ... Ah shore hope tha magic piksher box done changed. Ah din't lahk that big ugly feller. :o"
some of Trinity's kin show up to check out the new picture box, they figure they might go see if they hiring where they make them shows.
"Ooooooh!!! It's mah fav-o-ryte kinfolk!!! Ol' Granny makes tha best recipe on tha whole mountain! She one tha blue ribbon at tha fa'r ev'ry yair, but she won' give up tha secrit. Mebbe she'll make some fer us."
Trinity takes Granny out to still #1 the first one Trinity built when he arrived, Granny starts making the mash fer a big batch of the recipe
Soon Granny starts using the still to make a batch of lye soap for Trinity. <--Sherlene's idea! :o
Everybody is sittin' around the cement pond watchin' the soap boil.
Trinity walks up to the kettle and wrinkles his nose. "Granny, this ain' yore recipe! :("
Trinity lifts the lid and sniffs. "Tarnation! It's... it's... it's soap!! :o Uncle Jaid, she done rernt mah steel!! >:( >:("
What the heck all is goin on up in here ???
Someone gived me a map an a book 'bout a thousand pages long an sent me on down ;D
Well I guess I could use some lye soap, I hear it'll leave skin fit fer a beauty queen!
well when ya get cleaned up come on up to the ranch house, Del may be cooking later, you can meet Frankenbird :o
Thanks fer the invite ;D
Meantime, I found somthin interestin on this strange box here
(http://i247.photobucket.com/albums/gg133/leotanner/nudity_petticoat.jpg)
Petticoat Junction!
Delmonico sees two new hands for the ranch, he hollors, "Slim, you better get out and rustle someones steer to feed these guys or I'm gonna have to butcher one a yours." ;D
Delmonico puts down a big platter of fried chicken, smashed taters and dried apricot pie.
"By the way Slim, you might get that Mighty 10 out, a hawk got 3 of yer chickens today." ::) ;D
Just then a new political commercial comes on the "box". The guy in it looks somewhat familiar:
(http://lianchang.cc/images/2006_06/chickenhawk.jpg)
"Ya sure it wasn't a blue plate." ::)
Yea, one of the special ones! ::)
While everyone is talking about the hawk, Trinity helps himself to the platter.
Delmonico makes bacon and eggs for breakfast, does the dishes and then saddles Reuben and heads for Dunning,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,again. ;D
Trinity puts down the second to last chicken leg when he sees the breakfast platter. He wipes his mouth on his sleeve and walks over to the bacon and eggs.
"Mmmmmmmmmmm!!"
Trinity finished off the bacon and eggs then goes back to the chicken and eats the last chicken leg. He then says," I heardd that they is some waffles that went with the chikin, where is they at? I iz still horhgy.
*RUMBLE* *RUMBLE* *RUMBLE*
"Mmmmmm! Chicken an' Waffles jes lahk mammy used ta make!"
I think they got that at that new eating place up ta town, you know where the 1 legged woman works.
Delmonico gets to Dunning, puts Reuben in the livery stable and looks for something to eat while waiting for the train. He sees a place called "The Fowl Waffle House", passes and goes to the saloon and orders a steak. ;D
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on May 13, 2008, 07:33:24 PM
I think they got that at that new eating place up ta town, you know where the 1 legged woman works.
"You tawlkin' 'bout Sherlene's third cousin twicet removed? What was her name... Thelma Mae Jean. Yeah, Ah thank tha's it. You tawlkin' 'bout her? Ah din't know she was able ta stan' yet. Ya know she done lost three toes when that gunslanger came ta town' las' fall. He saw her a-sittin' at tha harvest fa'r an got mad 'cause wouln't daince wif heeyum. Well, he din't know that she ain' got no lef' laig, but was awll fahred a-purposed on gettin' her up ta daince, so he jerked out his pistol an' commenced ta shootin' at her feets - er... foot. Too bad he weren't no good at aimin'"
OT, are you talkin about eyehop?
I swears I's a much better shot now ;D
Oh wait... uh never mine, I have no idear what ya talkin about. ::)
Think yer right about the name TL. E'ry time i go there I hop ta the privy soon after :-X
Delmonico boards the east bound CB&Q and heads to Omaha. ::)
Leo practices his markmanship on Trinity's empties out back.
"Sorry pard, I's got so focused I didn't realize ya was still holdin that one :-[ Guess I owes ya a drink"
Leo goes ta the icebox an tries ta make good.
Quote from: Texas Lawdog on May 14, 2008, 12:23:12 AM
OT, are you talkin about eyehop?
"Naw. That's Sherlene's other third cousin, but only onct removed. He got that name on account of his raht Ah starts ta twitchin' an' hoppin' all aroun' when he gits excited. He don' play cards no maw 'cause ever'body would always fold when he had a good hand.
"Kin someone tail me what that new feller is rummagin' 'roun' in tha ahce box? That ain' whar Ah keep tha jugs."
yer right about putting some ah yer brew in an enclosed place, could blow the whole house offen the ground.
Trinity, Leo's been out thar in Californy trying to a find some of that thar gold.
Delmonico goes inta the dinin' car and orders a lobster, baked tater, and a fresh trout. When the trout gets there he toasts it with a cup a good coffee and says, "here's lookin' at ya."
Uh Leo, ya might wanna stop shootin Trinity's empties, he refills them there jugs.
Won't happen e'er agin.
Jus wanted ta make sure no more toes dispeered durin the dancin game--'post ta be fun.
Gotta say them jugs was fun ta shoot. Made a right bright flash, specialy that last 'un.
Oh's an by the way there ain't no gold left in Cali leas ways I could find. Jus a bunch a idgits whinin' 'bout me packin ma irons. Figgered I'd get on better out here.
well dadgum Trintiy, we waited too long, we'd always heard California was full of whiskey, women and gold, ;D
I heared California was full of it too, OT! ;D
Faster Horses, Younger WOMEN, Older Whiskey, and more MONEY!
Quote from: Texas Lawdog on May 15, 2008, 11:58:13 PM
Faster Horses, Younger WOMEN, Older Whiskey, and more MONEY!
I musta missed that part :(
Town jus yonder up from my claim called North San Juan. Rumer has it that the tooth brush was invented there. Been 'vented anyeres else it woulda been called a teeth brush ;D Them young wimmin does things that make 'em old double quick.
The CB&Q stops at the Omaha station. Delmonico gets a hotel room for the night. ;D
Travelin' on the City of New Orleans, Illinois Central Sunday Mornin' Mail. 3 Conductors and 25 sacks of mail.
I think that was the train Trinity took when he got lost and wound up in Memphis
here's his version of the story. ;D
I hitchhiked up to Memphis, a young boy in my prime
I thought that big old city would ease my Georgia mind
After just one hour, I met a Southern girl
She said they call me the Queen of Memphis
And then she took me around the world
CHORUS
I saw stars dancing on the water
I heard Elvis singing Blue Suede Shoes
That old muddy river was my witness
The night I fell in love with the queen of Memphis
I woke up the next morning a prisoner of her charms
She showed me things I'd never seen back there on that farm
She set my soul on fire, she completed all my dreams
A boy became a man that night in the arms of the Memphis Queen
REPEAT CHORUS
Just like that old man river she keeps rolling through my mind
And you know I won't forget her 'cause she was one of a kind
Let's hope she didn't give him a social disease.
;D we finally had to get the hound dog and go get him, brought him back home and then he married Sherlene and had the twins, so whatever we do, we can't let that story get back to her. :o ;D
He can have some memories to remember in his old age.
Quote from: Texas Lawdog on May 16, 2008, 09:36:14 PM
Let's hope she didn't give him a social disease.
I am of the thinkin' they should be called anti-social diseases. Coure I've always wanted to go to an Ice Cream Anti-Social, course you'd have to be duckin' the 'niller. ::)
I don't think I could be anti-social cause I like ice scream so much!
Quote from: Texas Lawdog on May 17, 2008, 11:35:35 AM
I don't think I could be anti-social cause I like ice scream so much!
There are certain kinds I'd throw, esp the cheap kinds. ;D
I'm sorta partial to Blue Bell, cause it's made in Texas.
Don't have it up here, but those who have say it's about like Well's Blue Bunny that we get out of LeMars Ioway, up by Sue City.
Always liked Dreyers. Theys don whip a bunch a air inta it.
Ah miss Maggie Moo's since leavin KC--had one that wern't quite niller, jus called sweet cream. Good stuff.
Delmonico leaves his hotel and heads off to the market district of Omaha. ::)
Del is looking for the Soda Fountain, thinking about getting an Orange Phosphate.
Meanwhile, back at the Ranch...
Leo decides ta practice some quick draw in the settin room ta the openin credits to Love Boat on the magic box. He knows Gopher's head shot is comin up and braces. The time comes an Leo gets carried away in the moment an acthly fires :o
"Dern, the boys are gonna be perty het up at me bout this 'un. Guess we's gonna have ta find a new form a entertainment..."
Delmonico arranges for his purchase to be shipped and boards the westbound CB&Q. ;D
Since Leo shot the magic box, the guys at the ranch don't know whats goin' on just west of them. ::)
000
WFUS53 KLBF 040032
TORLBF
NEC091-171-040115-
/O.NEW.KLBF.TO.W.0025.080604T0032Z-080604T0115Z/
BULLETIN - EAS ACTIVATION REQUESTED
TORNADO WARNING
NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE NORTH PLATTE NE
732 PM CDT TUE JUN 3 1888
THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN NORTH PLATTE HAS ISSUED A
* TORNADO WARNING FOR...
THOMAS COUNTY IN NORTH CENTRAL NEBRASKA...
THIS INCLUDES THE CITY OF THEDFORD...
EAST CENTRAL HOOKER COUNTY IN WEST CENTRAL NEBRASKA...
THIS INCLUDES THE CITY OF MULLEN...
* UNTIL 815 PM CDT 715 PM MDT
* AT 629 PM MDT...NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE DOPPLER RADAR INDICATED A
SEVERE THUNDERSTORM CAPABLE OF PRODUCING A TORNADO NEAR HIGHWAY 97
CROSSING THE DISMAL RIVER...OR 9 MILES SOUTH OF MULLEN...MOVING
EAST AT 37 MPH.
* THE TORNADO WILL BE NEAR...
HIGHWAY 83 CROSSING THE DISMAL RIVER BY 810 PM CDT...
THE SAFEST PLACE TO BE DURING A TORNADO IS IN A BASEMENT. GET UNDER A
WORKBENCH OR OTHER PIECE OF STURDY FURNITURE. IF NO BASEMENT IS
AVAILABLE...SEEK SHELTER ON THE LOWEST FLOOR OF THE BUILDING IN AN
INTERIOR HALLWAY OR ROOM SUCH AS A CLOSET. USE BLANKETS OR PILLOWS TO
COVER YOUR BODY AND ALWAYS STAY AWAY FROM WINDOWS.
IF IN MOBILE HOMES OR VEHICLES...EVACUATE THEM AND GET INSIDE A
SUBSTANTIAL SHELTER. IF NO SHELTER IS AVAILABLE...LIE FLAT IN THE
NEAREST DITCH OR OTHER LOW SPOT AND COVER YOUR HEAD WITH YOUR HANDS.
LAT...LON 4201 10034 4174 10047 4185 10112 4206 10108
TIME...MOT...LOC 0032Z 286DEG 32KT 4191 10096
Gotta say, the "1888" was a nice touch in the bulliten. ;)
Gods help us all!
hearing all of this information, Trinity runs out in the yard, covers his eyes and runs directly in the only tree in the yard. passes smooth out.
Sky's green fellas.
Time fer a good ole basement party. Wind up the Victroly boys, I's got some Fabian on 78.
An we better get Trinman outta the yard, Toto's aready lickin his face :P
Before they can pick up Trinity some old lady in a strange outfit riding one a them new fangled bicycles picks him up and flies back into the air.
She had some flyin' monkeys with her.
Slim grabs the "Mighty Ten" and shoots at the flyin' monkeys. >:(
Slim shoots down 5 monkeys with one shot from the "Mighty Ten" and becomes an instant "ACE".
;D
Irish sez, Slim quit monkeying around and let's go find Trinity!
Trinity is still lying under the tree, unconscious from his encounter with tree. Trinity is dreaming of the Giant Cheez Whiz and Potted Meat sammich that he left in his house.
"Okay, which way did he go?" ???
"HUH HUH Another Tree!
I think the old broad on the bicycle may a had her way with him whilst he was outta it ::)
Ask 'im if 'mebers any strange dreams.
Leo
Delmonico gets to Dunning, gets Reuben and heads home. ::)
Del arrives at the Ranch with No Name. He takes Reuben to the barn and unsaddles him. He brushes him down and feeds him some oats. Del wishes Reuben a good night and walks to the ranch house.
Inside he goes to the livin' room and asks about the magic box. ::)
Trinity wakes up and smacks his lips. He doesn't quite know why, but he is starving for the sammich he left in the kitchen. He reaches up to feel the tender and painful spot on his head and wonders what happens.
Leo looks at the Boss Man sheepishly.
"Guess I sent that box all away ta Perdition. Didn't mean ta, but the good Lord works in mysterious ways. Think it mighta been puttin evil thoughts in the boys heads er somethin. Them Petticoat Juction gals was gettin the boys perty riled up whiles ya were gone. An there was little short shows that kep comin on about a guy name a Oscar Meyer--sent Trinity inta a head spin. Went runnin out inta the foul weather singin some little jingle 'bout it.
Sorry, guess we's can have puppet shows an such fer a while...
Delmonico says, "no problem, here sit and eat and serves Leo fried taters, eggs a sausage." As Leo is finishin' the me he makes a note on his grocery list. :D :D Castor Oil, almost out. ;D
(Note Leo should have read the whole thread to know what happens when yer bad, the regulars have been good for a long time.)
"Leo, the Wedgewood room is around the corner." ::)
Quote from: Delmonico on June 10, 2008, 06:35:32 PM
the regulars have been good for a long time.)
Leo suddenly gets the feelin he's about ta become extreamly "regular".
Thanks fer the die-recshuns Slim.
Irish looks up from his coffee as Leo runs for tha neccessary room and Trinity staggers in from the yard.
Slim makes his own breakfast. ::)
Too much Fiber!
Leo yells "WHERE'S THE MAGAZINES?!? Fer the love a God, I'd settle fer a Archie comic right now..."
Are they for readin' or usin'?
Well Tex, thas the beauty multi-use items ;D
Jus gotta make sure ya don rip out a page ya aint read yet.
Large City Yellow Pages are good also. I have phone jacks in all my bathrooms, so the phone books come in handy.
Well everything came out OK. ;D
Archie went ta the malt shop with Betty an that raven haired demon Veronica went home ta spit nails. I'd a liked ta save the book but them yellerpages wouldn't fit under the door. Hope I don ever meet Jughead in the afterward...he'll have some unkind words fer me :o
Won't be eatin anymore grub without givin it the once over from now on. Won't be gettin in trouble with the Boss Man no more either, but I gotta thank him fer the rapid weight loss ;)
So whadya get in the big city Boss Man? E'ery one's dyin ta know.
Leo
A NOAA weather radio. ;D Now don't shoot it. ;D
I wouldn't dare ;D
Noah is my nephew's name.
All these new fangled things is fine, but has anybody give any thought about this upcoming summer soltice. I mean it's just a few days off, has anybody got any wood located. where we gonna have it at, and most important to Trinity are they gonna be eats there. :o :o
Quote from: Ozark Tracker on June 17, 2008, 06:06:38 PM
All these new fangled things is fine, but has anybody give any thought about this upcoming summer soltice. I mean it's just a few days off, has anybody got any wood located. where we gonna have it at, and most important to Trinity are they gonna be eats there. :o :o
Same Oak grove up the Dismal, how bout we put Leo in charge of the food this time?
that sounds good he'd have just enough time to get it all together, Maybe he'll bring some of the beerox :o
Quote from: Delmonico on June 17, 2008, 06:13:29 PM
Same Oak grove up the Dismal, how bout we put Leo in charge of the food this time?
OK
I'll be thinkin menu thisafternoon. Get back ta ya soon.
Just remember to some in reserve for Trinity, especially where the beerox is concerned. I haven't had any myself in a long time. I got my last batch in Great Bend, Kansas about 21 years ago. I think I might be forced to eat a couple dozen myself.
Oh, Leo, don't bring the kids, the last time someone did, the shock of seein' Trinity dance necked around a fire in an Oak Grove, stunted their growth, a whole lot. :o
Not a purty sight for man or beast!
Yep, they all wound up getting stage parts as Munchkins in "The Wizard of OZ"
And they went "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" and lived happily ever after. THE END
Got it, no kids at the party.
Gotta menu planned. It's gonna be in honor of my wife's herritage. I'll do the Beerox fer the German side and I have somethin fer the side that spoke Burrish 'stead of Gaelic an called their Druids Picts. It'll be a real treat ;D Side dishes should be pot luck, cause I'm gonna be busy workin on this thing fer a while.
Leo
We could go to Carhenge on Saturday. ;D
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/800px-A_Yool_Carhenge1_02Sep03_exif.jpg)
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/800px-Alliance_at_night_030.jpg)
We got our own version out on I-40, west of Amarillo. The "Cadillac Ranch".
Aint that the house of ill repute that Trinity wanted to visit before he got hitched to Sherlene?
"Ah'll be a-brangin' mah own food an' drank if'n awll y'alls gonna have is vegematibles. Member, if it di'n't crah fer its mama, Ah don't ate it.
"Naw, LIT, you's thankin' of tha Chickun Rainch, an' Ah done been thar onct er twahct."
Quote from: Trinity on June 18, 2008, 07:19:41 PM
"Ah'll be a-brangin' mah own food an' drank if'n awll y'alls gonna have is vegematibles. Member, if it di'n't crah fer its mama, Ah don't ate it.
"Naw, LIT, you's thankin' of tha Chickun Rainch, an' Ah done been thar onct er twahct."
Don worry, what I'm fixin ain't no vegematibles.
Leo
Quote from: Trinity on June 18, 2008, 07:19:41 PM
"Ah'll be a-brangin' mah own food an' drank if'n awll y'alls gonna have is vegematibles...
Does that mean you won't be wanting any more corn deliveries?
I don't think Trinity is goin' be eatin' that corn, he be usin' that corn to make sumpin' to drink.
"Zaklee. Do Ah gotta edjamacate ya ever' tahm? Spakin' of cone, that stuff must be up ta waist high by now, raht? Mebbe Ah needs ta come out yonder ta in-spec'."
OK Fellers (an any Lasses who should wanna partake)
3 an one half an hour til the Solistace is ofisshal. As promised I been workin ma fingers ta the bone on feast foods. I made several of these ta make sure there's nuff fer all. I declare I handled more hearts an livers than ole Doc Frakenstein his self. Even put fancy little tags on em to give em a festive aire an all.
(http://i247.photobucket.com/albums/gg133/leotanner/800px-HaggisUncooked_CopyrightKaihs.jpg)
Now I jus gotta give em 3 hours er so to cook up so we outta be in tall cotton at jus the right time. Beerox 'll be ready 'bout the same times.
Now who bringed the mead? Gotta have me some mead with ma Haggis.
Leo
And Lots of Single Mart Scotch.
Quote from: Trinity on June 19, 2008, 06:14:33 PM
Spakin' of cone, that stuff must be up ta waist high by now, raht? Mebbe Ah needs ta come out yonder ta in-spec'."
Come on out. I've got some grain too. I've got some sour mash fermentin' <hic>.
Quote from: Leo Tanner on June 20, 2008, 03:43:02 PM
Now who bringed the mead? Gotta have me some mead with ma Haggis.
Dang, it isn't Robbie Burns Day (Jan 25)
TIME TO CUT THE HAGGIS!
To The Haggis!
;D
to the Haggis. :D
8)
I can't tell if yonder nekkid man is dancin er convulson. I follered all the 'structions fer sewin them guts up.
Hope he's OK, I'se right proud of the endevor.
Del returns to the Ranch with No Name to start a Chinese Elm tree farm to protect the enviornment. He has gain praise from the worldwide treehugger association.
Quote from: Texas Lawdog on June 21, 2008, 08:35:33 AM
Del returns to the Ranch with No Name to start a Chinese Elm tree farm to protect the enviornment. He has gain praise from the worldwide treehugger association.
as Del plants the last baby Chinese Elm tree, he stops and ponders on the future and about how many of them new fangled automobiles his trees will trap in the future. he smiles
ole Santa up to the North Pole marks him down for a few pounds of coal fer next winter. ;D
Looks like he'll have plenty of them switches growed up.
A large frieght wagon pulls up to The Ranch With No Name, the teamsters unload several crates into Delmonico's workshop, withBall Mason Jar Co . stenciled on the crates. Delmonico locks the door, hitches the team to the wagon, loads a coupele spades and some gunny sacks up and heads off with out a word. ::)
Since Trinity didn't make it to Sod Buster's soddy, Sod Buster decideds to sample the sour mash by himself.
Soon his brain begins to hurt.
My uncle Will has a "still" on the hill where he lays down a gallon or two.
Trinity opens the door of the soddy and find's Sod Buster passed out at his table. "Wail, that 'splains whah he di'n't answer mah knockin'."
He takes up Sod Buster's half drunk jug of sour mash and samples it.
Quote from: Trinity on July 01, 2008, 06:47:37 PM
Trinity opens the door of the soddy and find's Sod Buster passed out at his table. "Wail, that 'splains whah he di'n't answer mah knockin'."
He takes up Sod Buster's half drunk jug of sour mash and samples it.
Delmonico drives up, sees them both passed out and leaves a note for Sodbuster:
When ya wake up I need a wagon load a 'maters up at the ranch, If I'm not there, put them in the cellar and leave me the bill, great new money maker on tap. Or if ya want to provide the 'maters I'll cut ya in for a percent.
Delmonico
PS, Do you have any thistles on the place? ;D
Leo watches the activity. Taters an maters with Mason jars. Sounds like Bloody Marrys are comin.
Prolly a dumb idea. Like thinkin the ranch with no name could easily be called the "Bar Stool" Don mess with tradition Leo, it aint yer place.
Catsup would be nice too ;D
The story about Sod buster and Trinity being passed out drunk gets back to the Ladies prayer group down to the local chuch and they protest drinking.
Ozark Tracker nudges Trinity and shows him the Tintype which frightens Trinity. "Is that ol' she-devil step-maw of mahn in among theeyum?" :o :o :o
Ozark puts on his specks and looks, it may be her,
I know last time she was in town, she gave Miss Collinwoods and the girls a hard time, she may be on an Alcohol kick now.
"Ah 'member she had her a hatchet an' was a-takin' ta rernin' mah recipe." >:( >:( >:( >:( >:(
Quote from: Delmonico on July 30, 2006, 09:42:54 PM
His mother-in'laws name is Carry Nation and she has her hatchet. ;D
Quote from: Sod Buster on July 30, 2006, 10:13:14 PM
Oh his way to visit Trinity and congratulate him, Sod Buster passes a mean old woman on the road.
(http://www.outlawwomen.com/CarrieNation.jpg)
Sod Buster immediately recognizes her and puts the whip to the horses to get to Trinity before she does. Sod Buster does not want to loose Trinity as a corn customer and occasional drinkin' buddy.
Trinity looks closer at the tintype and has Ozark Tracker tell him what their sign says. "Ain' no worry 'bout that! Not even a pole cat would wanna touch his leeups ta theeyum. :P "
Nope that's the truth, if'n they come by here we'll have to cover up the clock, you know it'd stop it.
Quote from: Trinity on July 01, 2008, 08:56:48 PM
Trinity looks closer at the tintype and has Ozark Tracker tell him what their sign says. "Ain' no worry 'bout that! Not even a pole cat would wanna touch his leeups ta theeyum. :P "
Sod Buster nods in agreement. I would rather taste some of Del's "medicine" than kiss one of theeyum". :-X
Sod Buster recovers enough to read Del's note. He immediately starts loading his wagon with fresh vine-grown 'maters and heads over to the Ranch with No Name. He wonders what Del meant about the thistles. There are a few different varieties of thistles around the Soddy - especially the troublesome Canadian Thistle and some Milk Thistle. Sod Buster's ma told him about the benefits of eating some milk thistle since some believe it can help with liver and gallbladder problems. No Russian Thistles (tumbleweeds) here.
Irish looks at the tintype O.T. has and immediately holds a Public drinking competition. The Ladies Prayer group shows up to protest and suddenly Irish has a flood of competitiors.
It depends on how long you have been out on the range, whether them women would look good to you.
Delmonico comes back with the wagon full of Musk Thistle roots and flower, plus wild onions. These are all thrown inta a pot along with some sorghum mollasses and a few red chile peppers. Delmonico starts is simmerin'. ::)
Hey Del, What's ya cookin?
Delmonico looks, says, "a secret sauce" and goes back to stirrin'. ::)
Del, don't go sellin' that "secret sauce" to Mickey D's .
Delmonico turns and says, "If they try, I'll shoot them." He goes back to stirrin'. ;D
Any shootin needs doin, ya know who ta call on. Jus ask the magic box ;D
Trinity shows up to Irish Tom's drinking competition with his buckboard full of #5's recipe.
Drinkin competishun?
Make way, I know free booze when I sees it.
Well, If we're gonna have free booze, where's the free lunch to go along with it?
Quote from: Texas Lawdog on July 03, 2008, 04:40:55 AM
Well, If we're gonna have free booze, where's the free lunch to go along with it?
Delmonico stops and says, "ain;t no such thing as a free lunch," and then he goes back to stirrin'. ::)
Leo studies the empty shot glasses lined up in front of him. Tries ta count them an fails miserably
The abolishunist wimmins group looks on with disdain. "You ladies all look right perty through a set a whiskey goggles. Can I buy ya a drink?" Leo has a brief premonition of regret, then continues talkin up the ole crows.
Delmonico shoos everyone out of the house, tells them to just burn hot dogs over a fire or got to Sodbusters for salad. He puts up a:
KEEP OUT
Sign on the door, then takes the pot into the kitchen alnong with a couple of cases of the jars. ::)
Sod Buster starts gathering "weeds" from his garden for a large holiday salad.
Quote from: Delmonico on July 03, 2008, 02:19:30 PM
Delmonico shoos everyone out of the house, tells them to just burn hot dogs over a fire or got to Sodbusters for salad. He puts up a:
KEEP OUT
Sign on the door, then takes the pot into the kitchen alnong with a couple of cases of the jars. ::)
Dang mus be bahind on the rent again. Las time I saw a sign like that'un I was gitten a deevorce.
Ya'd think he's makin Nitro in there.
Delmonico comes out and moves the cases to the workshop. He takes down the sign and starts supper, he has some pork roast he's cookin' down to pulled pork. On the table sets a jar of BBQ sauce. ;D
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/thejar.jpg)
I loves me some pulled pork, but dare we try that sauce?
Tummy says "yes, ya only live once".
Del,you got any wheat bread to go with that pulled pork? Pulled Pork sammiches sure sound good.
Quote from: Leo Tanner on July 03, 2008, 06:23:16 PM
I loves me some pulled pork, but dare we try that sauce?
Tummy says "yes, ya only live once".
Why would you want not to try it, you eat mesquite flavored BBQ sauce, mesquite is just another kind of pasture weed, why should Texans be the only ones to make money off their pasture weeds. ;D
Quote from: Texas Lawdog on July 03, 2008, 06:26:25 PM
Del,you got any wheat bread to go with that pulled pork? Pulled Pork sammiches sure sound good.
Wheat, white, rye or corn?
Wheat Bread is just fine for me.
Have mine on a hoagey roll.
I have no problem with the thistles, I'm jus a little gun shy of what else might be in that sauce. I can't 'member doin ya wrong lately, but once is 'nuff fer me.
Man that smells good.
Del wouldn't serve you something that he wouldn't eat himself.
i've eaten del's chile. hold on to your n*^$ !!
I've never had the pleasure of tasteing Del's cooking. I'm going to remedy that come Oct. It might be cool enough for Chili by Oct. Hot Chili makes me sweat, so I would rather sweat in the fall than the summer. Chili is one of my favorite things to eat.
<<Welcome back D'Archangel!>>
Trinity rides out to Sod Buster's to see if he would be interested in planting some fruit orchards and maybe cultivating some vanilla. It seems that the territory is becoming more civilized with the influx of more women. They are now demanding liquors and beers with fruit flavorings.
::)
Sod Buster meets with Trinity to discuss the orchard. Sod Buster already has some apple trees (thanks to that feller Johnny Appleseed) but is hesitant to plant any more. He remembers how much Del loves the prarie and would hate to wake up some morning to see his trees hatcheted to the ground. :o
Sod Buster don't take to 'flavored' beers. :P Why just last week he was in a local brewpub where they were offering both banana & bubblegum flavored beer. Someone ought to take a torch to the place! >:(
Upon hearing about the bubblegum beer, Trinity rips of his shirt and douses it with recipe. He runs out of the soddy in the direction that Sod Buster indicated shouting: "Ah'll take ker of theeyus, bah God!"
Banana Beer! Get a Rope!
Bubblegum beer, Banana beer, did I go to sleep in Newbrassky and wake up in Kaleephorneeyuh? ???
Sounds definitely like a West Coast thing.
We got more pride than that Tex. (well some of us)
I'm about fit ta go after Trinman an hep him bring that stablisment ta it's knees. This jus won't do.
As long as they keep brewin' that good Ol' Bud and Bud Light, I ain't gonna worry about those so-called microbrews. If it ain't broke, don't fiix it.
Quote from: Texas Lawdog on July 15, 2008, 06:49:32 PM
As long as they keep brewin' that good Ol' Bud and Bud Light, I ain't gonna worry about those so-called microbrews. If it ain't broke, don't fiix it.
I'd be worried my friend, look at what the Belgum company did to Winchester. :) ::)
<<The Belgians brew some good beer, I should know I had a terrible 5th of Jooly in Brussels. I hope they bring something tasty to the table. I highly doubt they are stupid enough to mess with the King of Beers much. It's not my #1 choice, but it sells very well and like TLD said... if it ain't broke...>>
Quote from: Trinity on July 15, 2008, 07:34:33 PM
<<The Belgians brew some good beer, I should know I had a terrible 5th of Jooly in Brussels. I hope they bring something tasty to the table. I highly doubt they are stupid enough to mess with the King of Beers much. It's not my #1 choice, but it sells very well and like TLD said... if it ain't broke...>>
Maybe they'll look at what FN did to Winchester and wise up.. Myself if they even think of getting rid of the Clydesdales, I say give the country back to the Nazi's. BTW are the Belgum's that bought it of French or Fleming desent? If they are French they'll mess it up. ;D
The French need to stick to wine or champagne and not mess with trying to brew beer.
What about when AMF bought HD? That almost ruined HD.
<Arthur's note: AMF should've stuck ta bowling balls.>
What Slim said!
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on July 16, 2008, 07:26:50 AM
<Arthur's note: AMF should've stuck ta bowling balls.>
Who's Arthur?
I had an AMF sportster and it was the most midevil piece a machinery I ever had the luck ta deal with. I'm surprised their bowlin balls rolled straight.
Del, ya need ta watch them capitol letters. ;D
Leo
AMF made pretty good bowling balls, they just weren't too good at building Motorcycles.
Quote from: Texas Lawdog on July 16, 2008, 03:22:22 PM
AMF made pretty good bowling balls, they just weren't too good at building Motorcycles.
Don't even ask me what "Hat Brands Inc" has done to Charley One Horse, Dob, Stetson and Resitol. ::)
Quote from: Leo Tanner on July 16, 2008, 12:36:53 PM
Who's Arthur?
Leo
he's that fellar that comes and buys a jug from Trinity on the first of the month. ;D
WHere's that Hat Brands Inc. outfit from?
Quote from: Texas Lawdog on July 16, 2008, 06:20:18 PM
WHere's that Hat Brands Inc. outfit from?
Headquartered in Plano Texas now, all 4 hat brands are now made there since they closed the St. Joe Stetson factory.
Del, I apologize for that. Plano is North of Dallas on I 75 foing to OKla.
Quote from: Texas Lawdog on July 16, 2008, 06:29:06 PM
Del, I apologize for that. Plano is North of Dallas on I 75 foing to OKla.
I will say the quality seems to be getting a little better the last year or so, but not yet like they were when HBI didn;t own them.
Quote from: Leo Tanner on July 16, 2008, 12:36:53 PM
Who's Arthur?
He was the High King of England. ;D
Slim
Quote from: Texas Lawdog on July 15, 2008, 07:52:45 AM
Sounds definitely like a West Coast thing.
Sadly it was in Baltimore. Sheesh.
Baltimore? That's a little too close to Washington DC for me.
Quote from: Texas Lawdog on July 17, 2008, 01:10:55 AM
Baltimore? That's a little too close to Washington DC for me.
Go here: http://www.redbrickstation.com/
They mention a Blueberry Aie too. That's just wrong!! >:(
Quote from: Sod Buster on July 17, 2008, 07:15:13 PM
Go here: http://www.redbrickstation.com/
They mention a Blueberry Aie too. That's just wrong!! >:(
Sounds like half beer half wine, don't the damned fools know mixin' beer and wine can cause one nasty hangover?
<<Now, in Berlin they serve a "Berlinerweisse" which is a wheat beer with raspberry compote added. I thought it sounded gross, but it is actually good.
Oh, and the places that have sprung up serving wheat beers with orange slices need to learn the correct way of doing it. >:( ...with a lemon slice. Geeez! ::) ;D>>
Del, One of the worst hangovers I've ever had was drinking home-made wine after I had drank some beer. That's probably why I don't like wine very much even today.
Used ta live cross the way from a Portugeuse lady. She made wine in plastic 55 gallon drums out in the garage.
One time she bottled it up an gave me some. At least I can say it was definately "fresh". Stuff wrecked me hard and gave me a splitting headache. She also brewed this other stuff that she stored under the house that had a plant growin in it. Tasted like black twizzlers and burnt like the dickens goin down. Been stickin ta beer ever since.
Leo
They's 8 or 10 people up here on the mountain that make homemade wine, Blackberry, probably being the preferred, I've already seen people out picking the blackberries, you know where there going ;D ;D
Gotta watch the ones pickin dandylions too. Jus ask Ray Bradbury ;D
My FIL used to make wine out of mustang grapes. He put a lot of sugar in it. Sure was sweet. I just never have been much of a wine drinker. Bud Light, Bushmills, Jack, single malt scotch, and a shot of tequila once in a while are my drinks of choice.
that's the way the locals make theirs, about 20 lbs of sugar per gallon, real sweet.
OT, I don't think my teeth would last too long with that much sugar.
;D
it sure tastes like that much, just too sweet to drink allmost.
I'll leave the wine to the wine drinkers.
Delmonico packs his bag, saddles Reuben and heads to Dunning. ;D
Swear I'll try not ta shoot nuthin valuable whiles ya gone.
Good travels ta ya.
Del and Reuben head back to the Ranch With No Name.
Where he finds several targets stuck on the side of his steam engine and numerous bullet holes puncturing the boiler tank.
Delmonico takesLeo's guns and tosses them down the hole of the privy that Trinity uses. :P
He then heads back to Dunning.
Leo looks at Trinity's privy then at his empty holsters.
He grabbs a length of rope an a plank just wide enough ta span the seat. With the rope tied firmly ta the plank he says, "Alright boys, I'm goin in. Ignore the screams an try not ta think on where I'm goin. Anybody got a fly swatter?"
Leo, I'll get an inch and a half hose to wash you off.
A voice that sounds like it's 10 miles away says, "just toss him in the Dismal." ;D
Del, Aren't you skeered that Leo might polute the Dismal?
Quote from: Texas Lawdog on August 14, 2008, 05:42:04 PM
Del, Aren't you skeered that Leo might polute the Dismal?
No worse than when Trinity fell in. :o
I guess you're right.
Leo sees unknown horrors beneath the privy an calls out ta his irons.
"Daisey, Loraine, I come ta get ya girls. We'll get a good washin when get outta here..."
Delmonico sneaks back on Reuben and nails a couple boards over the hole. ::)
Least he dinn't cut the rope.
Aint the first $%^& hole I had ta shoot ma way outta.
Quote from: Leo Tanner on August 14, 2008, 06:33:41 PM
Least he dinn't cut the rope.
Aint the first $%^& hole I had ta shoot ma way outta.
(Check the barrels first, don't need a bulged barrel from shootin' with an obstuction.) ;D
Run a few pages of the Sears & Roebuck catalog threw em. Hve no ideer what the rod I used once was. Thinkin' hambone from last Christmas but not sure. Desperate times lead ta desperate measures.
Time ta get outta here an go about clean up.
Leo, I still got that high-pressure ready.
Quote from: Texas Lawdog on August 14, 2008, 07:38:32 PM
Leo, I still got that high-pressure ready.
We could have steam cleaned him if he hadn't of shot The Steam Traction Engine, but if he'd a not shot it, he wouldn't need steam cleaned. ::)
Leo crawls outta the freshly ventalated privy and makes his way ta the Dismal on hands an knees.
"When ya do right no one 'mebers, when ya do wrong no on fergets--<hack choke>"
Leo, Ain't that the way it always happens.
"That'll add a wagon load of coal ta Del's Christmas present." ::)
That's a bummer Man!
Delmonico rides into Dunning, puts Reuben in the Livery Stable and heads east on the CB&Q. ;D
Sod Buster heads over to the Ranch with a new supply of corn cobs for the outhouse.
You can never have enough cobs on hand. I hate to hunt for one of those things at night in the dark.
Delmonico arrives in Omaha, changes trains and heads on east. :o
Del, Did you catch the stage or you ridin' Rueben?
Quote from: Texas Lawdog on August 16, 2008, 09:31:50 AM
Del, Did you catch the stage or you ridin' Rueben?
Neither, got off the CB&Q and transfered to the Rock Island. ;D
Just before Sod Buster leaves, Trinity catches up to him. "Stranger, you properly storin' that cone, raht? It's pert' near tahm fer me ta come pick up a load fer #5."
Follow me back with your wagon. We'll shovel her full.
Trinity runs to the shed and hooks his wagon to Jolly Jumper and squeaks and grinds his way over to the soddy. When he gets there, he asks: "Ya got any earl? Seems mah wheels is a maht rusty."
Sod Buster points to the pail of axle grease that is always hanging on his wagon....
"Stick yer hand in there and grab some" :)
Say GREASE! DAMMIT!
Delmonico arrives in Chicago on the Rock Island. (The C in CB&Q stands for Chicago, but the Rock Island serves Iced Tea in the dining car, hence the train change. ;D)
TL ponders the question, What is Del going to do in Chicago? He's gonna get some original Chicago-style PIZZA!
Quote from: Sod Buster on August 16, 2008, 03:00:11 PM
Sod Buster points to the pail of axel grease that is always hanging on his wagon....
"Stick yer hand in there and grab some" :)
Trinity looks at the pail and turns up his nose. "Uh, d'ya mind doin' it fer me? Ah got bad memories of that stuff... took part in a greased pig contest las' year an' Sherlene made me take a baf afore goin' ta baid." >:(
the Rock Island Line is a mighty good line, the Rock Island Line is mighty fine line, but if ya ride it, gotta ride it like ya find it, get yer tickets at the station for the Rock Island Line.
The Engineer said before I die there's two more dirinks I'd like to try, Conductor said what could that be, he said a Hot cup a Coffee and a Cold glass of Tea
Quote from: Trinity on August 16, 2008, 05:59:58 PM
Trinity looks at the pail and turns up his nose. "Uh, d'ya mind doin' it fer me? Ah got bad memories of that stuff... took part in a greased pig contest las' year an' Sherlene made me take a baf afore goin' ta baid." >:(
but just think about all that ham & Bacon ya got ta grab. :o
"It shore was a threel, but Ah din't win. Ol' Chester from tha next county over got 'im. He gets 'im ever' yar. >:( "
well ya know why don't ya, it's his little ole chubby wife. Rosie, he greases her up and starts practicing catching her when it gets warm every year.
"Danggummit! Ah ain' never thought of thayut. Ah'll haveta have a tawlk wif tha GPC (Greased Pig Committee) about that afore next yars ee-vent."
Quote from: Trinity on August 16, 2008, 05:59:58 PM
Trinity looks at the pail and turns up his nose. "Uh, d'ya mind doin' it fer me? Ah got bad memories of that stuff... took part in a greased pig contest las' year an' Sherlene made me take a baf afore goin' ta baid." >:(
Sod Buster grabs a twig off a nearby apple tree and dips it in the pail. Then hands it to Trinity. "Here".
Trinity loses his appeal to the Greased Pig Committee and goes back home a broken man.
Dejected, Trinity lowers his head and turns to Sod Buster: "Stranger, Ah ain' a-mahnd ta grase mah wheels no maw now that Ah done los' mah a-peel wif tha GPC." :( :(
Trinity mounts Jolly Jumper and rides off into the Sunset, A BROKEN MAN!
After a night in a hotel in Chicago, Delmonico buys a ticket and heads south on The Iller-noise Central Railroad. :)
Del boards the "City of New Orleans" with 3 conductors and 25 sacks of Mail. On the Illinise Central Monday morning mail.
"The train pulls into Kankakee" Delmonico jumps out, buys a newspaper and reboards the train. ;D
As he continues along his journey, he rolls along past houses, farms and fields. Passin' trains that have no names, freight yards full of old black men and the graveyards of the rusted carriages.
Quote from: Trinity on August 17, 2008, 12:30:05 PM
As he continues along his journey, he rolls along past houses, farms and fields. Passin' trains that have no names, freight yards full of old black men and the graveyards of the rusted carriages.
As he continues along his journey, he rolls along past houses, farms and fields. Passin' trains that have no names, freight yards full of old black men and the graveyards of the
rusted dry rotted carriages. ;D
;D
And the rustin' Automobiles!
Quote from: Texas Lawdog on August 17, 2008, 02:07:50 PM
And the rustin' Automobiles!
And the rustin'
Automobiles! Steam Traction Engines! ::)
Del, I sent you a PM. I really enjoy those old steam threshing machines on RFD TV.
Leo floats in the Dismal (water's so thick a bowlin ball would float) and lets the catfishies nibble away the grime from his privy adventure.
Gets ta thinkin, "We's could open us up one a them day spa's ritche 'ear. Bring out them girls from Californy with all the munny an see what they'd pay fer a good catfishie ex-foley-aten"
Leo climbs up the bank of the Dismal feelin refreshed an tends ta his shootin irons.
Quote from: Leo Tanner on August 17, 2008, 04:06:03 PM
Leo floats in the Dismal (water's so thick a bowlin ball would float) and lets the catfishies nibble away the grime from his privy adventure.
Gets ta thinkin, "We's could open us up one a them day spa's ritche 'ear. Bring out them girls from Californy with all the munny an see what they'd pay fer a good catfishie ex-foley-aten"
Leo climbs up the bank of the Dismal feelin refreshed an tends ta his shitin shootin irons.
::)
well now Del, ya gotta give him credit for crawling out, last time Trinity fell in, ya memeber he floated all the way to Memphis for he made it out. ;)
Tied maself off ta a rock.
An ya just might be right 'bout them irons Del--least til several rounds is fired ta clear em good an propper.
Trinity made his own version of "Rollin' On Tha River".
;D
Trinity makes it to the Gulf of Mexico and tries his hand at "body surfin'" in the Gulf.
Trinity body surfs for a coupla hours, crawls up outa the water and sees a sign, not being able to figure out the letters he turns around and starts walking home.
OT, My goodness, Total Nudity! I hope that Trinity doesn't vapor lock.
I don't imagine Sherleen would 'prove.
Turn back Trin, ya only live once!
Delmonico sees Trinity, lost and wanderin' round Naw Or-leans, he ropes him, crates him and puts him on a fieght train with an address label.. ;D
To Mr. Delmonico
Ranch With No Name
Dismal River Near Dunning Newbrassky
Before the crate is loaded, Delmonico has a thought ans puts in some air holes, shredded newspaper and some lettuce. ;D
Sickened by the smell of lettuce, Trinity shoves it through the holes in the crate. A little while later, his stomach begins to rumble, so he starts to gnaw on the wood on the other side of the crate.
"You hve shown great cruelty in recent days Del. Givin Trinman nothin but lettuce? Nailin the privy shut o'er ma head?"
Leo ponders the sitchyation. The man's got too much pented up angrys in im. Gotta be sumpthin we can do ta bring his spirits high.
ya got ta remember Leo, along bout this time of the year, Del starts collecting points towards lumps of Coal in his Christmas Stockin, ya got ta have a lot of Coal to fend off them winter winds.
Quote from: Leo Tanner on August 18, 2008, 06:38:15 PM
"You hve shown great cruelty in recent days Del. Givin Trinman nothin but lettuce? Nailin the privy shut o'er ma head?"
Leo ponders the sitchyation. The man's got too much pented up angrys in im. Gotta be sumpthin we can do ta bring his spirits high.
Arthurs Note: (Rather than have to burn cow chips all winter and they won't work well in a steam traction engine, The Ranch With No Name needs coal. Well other than buyin' it or minin' it, where do you get coal from? Think now December 24th.) ;D
"He's makin' a list, checkin' it twice, gonna find out who's naughty and nice."
After lookin' over the latest list, Delmonico is put down for another 300 pounds of coal. ;D
Trinity gnaws a hole just big enough to get his head stuck in... or is it out... ???
Quote from: Trinity on August 18, 2008, 06:54:14 PM
Trinity gnaws a hole just big enough to get his head stuck in... or is it out... ???
the train then rolls to a stop and three guys with guns and bandannas pulled over their faces open the door to the car. ;D
They shove Trinity's crate out on a flat car with a trailer load of hogs is just in front of his car, bound fer Omaha :o :P
*Sniff* *Sniff* "Foooood!!!!"
One of the outlaws feels sorry for Trinity and hands him a can of potted meat to eat.
"Mmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!"
Nom Nom Nom
And on to Omaha they go!
Will Trinity escape, will he end up in Omaha, will he become sausage? ::)
Tune In Tomorrow, Same time, Same station and watch Trinity's never ending saga, "AS THE TRINITY TURNS".
Delmonico finishes his bizzness in Naw Ore-leans and takes a passenger train to Omaha. ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on August 18, 2008, 07:51:19 PM
Delmonico finishes his bizzness in Naw Ore-leans and takes a passenger train to Omaha. ;D
And has a 24 oz Porterhouse with all the trimmings in the dining car. ;D
<<That's "Nawlins">>
Trinity knows that it will be a long trip to Omaha and he will have to pace himself on eating the potted meat.
since Trinity is gnawing his way through the crate, the outlaws decide to just shove Trinity's crate off the train somewhere near Baton Rouge.
Trinity crawls out of the crate and walks over to the shade and sits down, pulls out his jaw harp and writes a song.
Busted flat in Baton Rouge, headin' for the train,
Feelin' nearly faded as my jeans.
Bobby thumbed a wagon diesel down, just before it rained;
Took us all the way to New Orleans.
I took my harpoon out of my dirty red bandanna,
And was blowing sad while Bobby sang the blues.
With them drivers whip a windshield wipers slappin' time,
And Bobby clappin' hands,
We finally sang up every song that driver knew.
Freedom's just another word for nothing' left to lose:
Nothin' ain't worth nothin' but it's free.
Feeling good was easy, Lord, when Bobby sang the blues.
Feeling good was good enough for me;
Good enough for me and Bobby McGee.
From the coal mines of Kentucky to the California sun,
Bobby shared the secrets of my soul.
Standin' right beside me, Lord, through everything I've done,
Every night she kept me from the cold.
Then somewhere near Salinas, Lord, I let her slip away,
Lookin' for the home I hope she'll find.
And I'd trade all my tomorrows for a single yesterday,
Holdin' Bobby's body next to mine.
Freedom's just another word for nothing' left to lose:
Nothin' left is all she left for me.
Feeling good was easy, Lord, when Bobby sang the blues.
Buddy, that was good enough for me;
Good enough for me and Bobby McGee.
La da da la la na na na
La da da na na.
La la la da, Me and Bobby McGee.
La la la la la da da da
La la la da da.
La la la da, Me and Bobby McGee.
La la la la la na na na
La la la da da.
La da da da, Me and Bobby McGee.
La la la la la da da da.................
Good voice OT!
Delmonico gets to Omaha, looks for Trinity around the stockyards. He finds nothin' so he shrugs his shoulders and buys a ticket to Dunning. ;D
Trinity starts hearin' the Oscar Meyer jingle and starts to sweat.
As he wanders along, he meets some folks, Trinity can't understand what they are talkin' about, but they give him Crawdads and okra to eat. ;D
:o :o :o :D :D :D
"Oooh!! They's playin' mah sawng!"
Trinity begins to sing:
Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Mayer wiener
That is what I truly want to be
'Cause if I were an Oscar Mayer wiener
Everyone would be in love with me.
"Ah wonner if'n that wienerwagon is aroun' har sommers."
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/th_Wienermobile-NAIAS-2005.jpg) (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/Wienermobile-NAIAS-2005.jpg)
Quote from: Delmonico on August 19, 2008, 06:09:50 PM
As he wanders along, he meets some folks, Trinity can't understand what they are talkin' about, but they give him Crawdads and okra to eat. ;D
"Shaw is nahce'a theeyum folk ta offer me them snacks 'til Ah fahnd tha Oscar Mayer folk. Ah lahk them crawly critters, but not that dern okry. :P :P :P"
As Trinity wanders on, he meets a guy with a gee-tar.
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/JimmyCNewman1.jpg)
as Trinity listens to the music and eats fried Alligator, a feller in a uniform askes him if he wouldn't like to go with him and get all the food he wants to eat and a place to sleep and a new set of clothes and a rifle to call his own. Trinity signs the paper with his X and continues eating while the man talks to some other men standing around.
Next thing ya know Trinity is on a train headed to Airy-zona, with a bunch of other guys. He has no idea what an Apachie is and who Geronimo is. ;D
Trinty arrives at Fort Wegotcha, a few miles from the legendary frontier town of Tombstone.
Well they put Geronimo in jail down south
Where he couldn't look the gift horse in the mouth
Sergeant, sergeant, don't you feel
There's something wrong with that automobil
Governor, governor, isn't it strange
They didn't have no cars on the Indian range
Warden, warden, please listen to me
Be brave and set Geronimo free
Whoa boys, take me back
I want to ride in Geronimo's Cadillac
Whoa boys, take me back
I want to ride in Geronimo's Cadillac
Let me ride, let me ride
Warden, warden, don't you know
Prisoners have no place to go
They took old Geronimo by storm
Ripped off the feathers from his uniform
Jesus tells me I believe its true
The red man is in the sunset too
Took all his land, now they won't give it back
And they sent Geronimo a Cadillac
Whoa boys, take me back
I want to ride in Geronimo's Cadillac
Whoa boys, take me back
I want to ride in Geronimo's Cadillac
Let me ride, let me ride
As Trinity and the other guys get off the train, some important lookin' guy is watchin'. :o
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/456px-George_Crook_-_Brady-Handy.jpg)
The important lookin' guy is talkin' to another guy,
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/511px-SieberAL1874.jpg)
Al, you think with this bunch we can catch them renagades? ;D
Sorta looks like Gen. Crook.
Trinity thinks he will like this new feller, he figures that middle part of his beard was scorched off while he was getting too close to the fire to the smell the food cooking.
A large string of pack mules shows up and away Trinity and the guys go walkin', the guy named Al is out in front with some Indians. ;D
"That feller wif tha whiskers 'mahnds me of mah great grampappy. He was ferever pokin' his nose in great grammaws kettles, that is until he let the lid drop too fast an' afore he could git his big nose outta that way, it got caught and burnt purty good. He never looked tha same afterwards, and couldn't never smail no more either.
"What is this Al feller gonna do wif theeyum mules an' injuns? Ya reckon he's gitten recipes?" ???
Trinity figures they are hiking out to the picnic grounds, tells the fella next to him, them pack mules must be loaded down with food fer us.
"Ah'm so hongry, Ah could eat me two of them li'l mules."
Trinity sees some smoke signals in the distance, figgures that must be where the cooking's taking place.
Before they reach the smoke, they stop. Everyone is given a hunk of raw salt pork and some hardtack. ;D
Trinity takes his share, gladly, walks over to talk to the fella in charge and begins to tell him about back home at the ranch, the fella asks if there are anymore able body men back there, he starts telling him about Leo and how much he'd enjoy a picnic, says all the other fellers are kinda old farts.
"Nom Nom Nom. Mmmm! This har sawlt pawk shaw is good. Kin Ah have maw?"
"Oh, an' back at tha rainch, they's a feller what used ta do tha cookin', but now awl he does is rahd tha rails. Anyway, don' never touch none of his bottles. They's liable ta make ya stay in tha out house fer a mite. :o :o"
with all the food gone, the group starts a waking again, The Indians take off at a run going ahead of the group.
Trinity goes to a large tent that hasn't been taken down yet. "Ah wonner if they's some food in har..."
This tent contains 6 of the Chief's wives, who grab Trinity and have their way with him. Trinity, exhausted from the ordeal, lays down for a well-deserved nap.
Meanwhile back at the Ranch With No Name Leo begins ta wonder where Trinity's gone off ta. Invigorated by his catfishie exfoliatin, he mounts up and goes alookin fer him.
Trinity awakens from his well-deserved nap, to find himself naked on a bear skin rug. The squaws bring a rack of Buffalo ribs, a large hunk of bear meat, and a loaf of fry bread.
Leo however has no idea where Trinity is and heads to the north. ;D
Delmonico makes it to Dunning and heads to The Ranch With No Name on Reuben. ::)
"Whoooo! Ah love them camp follerers an' squawrs. T'ain' nothin' better... well, 'cept'n some maw of these har reeubs. Say, you thar... uh, Pocerhonty... kin Ah have another?"
Suddenly the Cheif shows up with his face painted and a scalpin' knife in his had, and he don't look really happy. ;D Trinity heads out at a fast lop, for miles and miles, till he realizes he's lost in the desert. ::) Worst of all, the only thing he can 'member about the Disney Show, "The Living Desert" is it's narrated by Rex Allen. ;D
While wandering the desert, Trinity starts humming and singing along in his head:
Don't Go Near the Indians
Rex Allen Mercury 71997
(Lorene Mann) Buttercup Music BMI
{Son, don't go near the Indians
Please stay away
Son, don't go near the Indians
Please do what I say}
Since I was just a little boy
I liked to roam the hills
And to hear wild stories about the Indians
Was my biggest thrill
I'd shout and yell and holler like heck
I wore moccasins on my feet
And I'd make believe I was under a teepee
Every time I went to sleep
My hair was jet black and I was twenty-one
Lots of pretty girls around
But the paleface maidens didn't thrill me none
Around my Cochise County hometown
{Son, don't go near the Indians
Please stay away
Son, don't go near the Indians
Please do what I say}
One day I went to the reservation
And there by a shallow creek
Was a beautiful Indian a-fetchin' water
And I just had to speak
She smiled at me then quickly left
But the next day she returned
And it wasn't very long till I told her how
The love in my heart burned
{Son, don't go near the Indians
Please stay away
Son, don't go near the Indians
Please do what I say}
I told my daddy I'd found a girl
Who meant the world to me
And tomorrow I'd ask the Indian chief
For the hand of NovaLee
Dad's trembling lips spoke softly
As he told me of my life
Twas then he said I could never take
This maiden for my wife
SPOKEN:
Son, the white man and Indianss were fighting when you were born
And a brave called Yellow Sun scalped my little boy
So I stole you to get even for what he'd done
Though you're a full-blooded Indian, son
I love you as much as my own little feller that's dead
And, son, NovaLee is your sister
And that's why I've always said
SINGING:
{Son, don't go near the Indians
Please stay away
FADE:
Son, don't go near the Indians
Please do what I say}
Just as he finishes singing, he comes across a travelling Chinaman who looks more American than Chinese.
As he's walkin'along he sees a coyote chasin' a strange lookin' bird. ::)
Mean whild back north of the ranch, Leo enters the Dakota Territory. ::)
Delmonico arrives back at the ranch, puts Reuben in the barn and makes some chicken fried steak, and sausage gravy for supper.
Suddenly, Charlie The Lonesome Cougar appears and wants to make a meal out of Trinity.
but Charley hears Trinity's stomach a growling and stays in the shadows to see what it is.
Meanwhile Leo crosses The Medicine Line.
and we already know Trinity's crossed the line, back when he went in the tent with the Chiefs wives. :o
Trinity gets so thirsty he will even drink water, he sees a lake up ahead and heads off in that direction. ::)
Trinity is totally dehydrated, so he takes a drink of the water in the Lake. It sure tasted salty. Little does Trinity know, but he is in the Great Salt Lake.
as Triinity walks along he makes up a song.
All day I face the barren waste without the taste of water,
Cool water.
Old Dan and I with throats burned dry and souls that cry for water,
Cool water.
The night are cool and I'm a fool each stars a pool of water,
Cool water.
But with the dawn I'll wake and yawn and carry on to water,
Cool water.
(Chorus)
Keep a movin' Dan, don't you listen to him Dan, he's a devil not a man
and he spreads the burnin' sand with water.
Dan can't you see that big green tree where the waters runnin' free
and it's waiting there for me and you.
Water, cool water.
The shadows sway and seem to say tonight we pray for water,
Cool water.
And way up there He'll hear our prayer and show us where there's water,
Cool Water.
Dan's feet are sore he's yearning for just one thing more than water,
Cool water.
Like me, I guess, he'd like to rest where there's no quest for water,
Cool water.
"Dernit. Ah need me some likker. That water di'n't do nothin' fer me but make me maw thuhsty."
Dan looks a little worried, he thinks Trinity might him next.
Leo comes ta terms that his mission is fyu-tile. Aint nothin out here but some hardrock hills. He gets ta thinkin, "If'n I had the time I could chiz-zel out the faces of some a ma new friends in that there lump a rock".
He ignores his grand illusions and makes camp, dreamin of rich Calyforny gals payin ta be nibbled on by catfishies in the Dismal.
Trinity wishes that he had floated around in the Great Salt Lake. The urge to return home is strong, Trinity starts walkin'East.
As Leo is wanderin' round north of the Medicine Line, still thinkin' he's in the Dakota Territory, two guys come along, tryin' to figure out what he's up to. Decidin' they don't like his looks, they arrest him and head to Ottawa with him. ;D
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/800px-Northwest_Mounted_Police_re-e.jpg)
Mean while out around The Great Salt Lake, Trinity meets someone who don't like his looks either. ;D
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/OPRockwell.png)
Leo has never seen anyone dressed in a red coat and a white hat except Santa Claus. He never knew Santa Claus rode a horse either. These Santas are armed. Leo realizes this is not his Christmas wish and these guys aren't Santa.
will leo get away from the Mounties, what will Porter Rockwell do to Trinity? Is it the end for our two heros friends
flunkies from The Ranch With No Name? ::)
Who knows, but Santa puts Delmonico down for another 300 pounds of coal. ;D
why looky there Del, yer odometer rolled over 17,000 ;D
There will be planty of coal at The Ranch with No Name. Del and Reuben will be warm all winter.
Hmmmm, redcoats. Grampy tole me bout them. At least this batch figgured out ta get rid of the the big white "X" target on their bellys.
Leo decides he'll see how good of a rock chucker he is. He thinks ta himself, "ya all don't know what I been through ta keep them pistols, one of em still smells wrong".
Well, We looked down the road, we seed tha British comin', musta been a hunerd of um beatin' on their drums. They stepped so high and made their bugels ring, we stood beside our cottontails and didn't say a thing.
Leo, also being a Johnny Horton fan decides he needs ta get ahold of Jean LaFeat someway er 'nother ta get out of this mess.
All roads lead back to New Orleans.
Er way up north ta Alaska ::) I hear Bizz-mark is nice this time a year too.
Leo hums ta these tunes and waits fer his oportunity ta 'scape.
Early in 1941, the War had just begun.
well they ran through the briars and ran through the brambles, and they ran thorugh the places where a rabbit couldn't go.
They so fast that hounds couldn't ketch em', down the Mississippi, to the Gulf of Mexico.
Quote from: Texas Lawdog on August 23, 2008, 01:27:25 PM
In May of 1941, the War had just begun.
Leo follows his captors and wishes he had guns as big as steers and shells as big as trees right about now.
We hit tha decks a runnin' boys and we spun those guns around.
When we find the Bismarck we gotta cut 'er down.
Quote from: Leo Tanner on August 25, 2008, 03:26:16 PM
When we find the Bismarck we gotta cut 'er down.
Porter Rockwell takes Trinity into Salt Lake City, they stop for some breakfast at a pastry shop.
Trinity sees the Bismarks and yes he cuts them down. ;D
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/food/800px-Berliner-Pfannkuchen.jpg)
I didn't think Trinity would take the time to cut into the Bismarchs, just take a big Ol' BITE!
Quote from: Delmonico on August 25, 2008, 05:07:15 PM
Porter Rockwell takes Trinity into Salt Lake City, they stop for some breakfast at a pastry shop.
Trinity sees the Bismarks and yes he cuts them down. ;D
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/food/800px-Berliner-Pfannkuchen.jpg)
Hey!!! It's what JFK called himself... Berliner.
JFK said: "Ich bin ein Berliner"
translated: "I am a jelly donut"
;D
The Berliners were my second favorite desert. Their dough was always a little dry, so I always claimed that they had been week old Krispy Kreme doughnuts before being placed on a ship and sent to Germany.
My favorite deserts were Spritzkuchen mit Zuckerguss. Fresh, they were much closer in texture to hot Krispy Kremes! mmmmm!
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/th_Spritzkuchen.jpg) (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/Spritzkuchen.jpg)
Ya mean it jus took one a them donuts ta sink the Hood. No wonder the Brits held a grudge. Chased that jelly filled til it was ten miles from home fer no other reason then spite. Gotta admire the gumption.
Leo
Looking at that picture of the Berliner again makes me smile. When my father took my stepmother home to meet his mother, it was Christmastime in Germany. Just about every town, large or small, has a Christmas market in the town square. It's sort of like a craft show, but they also have food. Mmmmmmmm!! You can get beer, hot spiced wine, bratwurst, heaven-and-earth (fried potato pancakes and applesauce) and all sorts of pastries.
Well, my father wanted to share the experience with my stepmother, so to town they went. At the first stall they had Berliner and my father bought one for her to try. She ate it, but thought it wasn't that special. As they walked around, my stepmother began noticing that people were staring and smiling at her. She thought that they were staring at her because she is of Mexican decent with dark skin, and was pleased that they were smiling in such a friendly manner. My father didn't pay it any mind. When they got back to the car it finally became clear why everyone was staring and smiling... also why the Berliner was nothing special to her.
Do I need to tell you why?
...
Whenever you eat a jelly donut, make sure you know where the anus is pointing. :o :o
They just need to serve bigger napkins.
Jeez Trinity. I'll never look at a jelly filled the same way. Be thinkin "this donut has an anus". Does PETA know about this?
Leo
All this talk about eatin' dog meat and donuts with anus's has got me thinkin' about becomin' a vegetarian. Okay, I thought about it. NOT!
Just don't squeeze your next jelly doughnut too hard and you should be OK. However, once you do squeeze it and watch the jelly come out...
My mind is warped. I've been calling it that for many a year. ;D
Vegetarian? ... Naaaahh.
It was just a passing THOUGHT!
Don't worry Trinman, your warped mind is not alone. 'Specialy 'round these parts ;D
Inquiring Minds? A Mind is a Terrible Thing to Waste.
Tex is the new spokesman fer the NAACP?
He's a very busy man these days.
Ya'd ah missed that in the 100 questions thing. That slogan belongs to a different marketin' company.
Good thing we's in free territory out here.
Oh, an it's the UNCF.
No kiddin'?
I'm gettin' all these jobs, now I'm gonna hve to get cloned.
Quote from: Texas Lawdog on August 27, 2008, 03:42:53 PM
I'm gettin' all these jobs, now I'm gonna hve to get cloned.
James Earl Jones did too. It comes with the territory.
I don't know if I'm up to the task.
I have nothing but the highest confidence.
I 'll try Sir, to do my best for LR, Mom's Applle Pie, and the Good Ol' USA!
Atta Boy,
We'll get things back on track in no time. In the mean time, a slice of Mom's apple pie sure sounds good. She put the crumbly cinnamon stuff on top :)
Dutch Apple pie!
What? Why not American apple pie?
Any boy that talks about donuts butts doesn't get a vote on the Apple Pie.
;D ;D ;D
Trinity, Donutt Butts, That's just so wrong on so many levels.
Gotta side with Tex on this one.
Leo
I won't ever be able to look at a donut the same any more.
<<I stopped at Krispy Kreme today after my dental appointment. Mmmmmm, I love that stuff, but boy, they're up to $0.85 now. Sheesh!>>
Trinity, All that sugar is gonna rot your teeth, then you won't need to go to the dentist anymore.
Sure I will. Crowns, bridges, partials, dentures, refitting. I've got it all planned out. ;D ;D
Just be sure and wear them when you get em. No body wants to see a toothless man in public.
That reminds me of a feller who used to work where I do. He ran a milling machine, hardly ever was bathed, stunk, had a long, greasy pony tail, and had only two teeth. He had a set of dentures that he put in only at lunch time, but took them out for the rest of the day. Said they hurt him. ;D
Every single day, he would eat in the lunch room and make everyone sick. Because he wasn't used to the teeth, his food seemed to go everywhere but in his mouth. You could always go to him a few hours later and tell what he had for lunch by looking at his beard.
He was a heavy smoker and not to particular on the brand and as he was shoveling the last bite into his near his mouth he was lighting up. He didn't get two drags in before he would start the most awful hacking fit you've ever heard and it didn't stop until he had a several more drags. Do I need to tell you that even more food ended up across the room? He sat at the same spot every day, and the few people who dared eat in there avoided the entire area in front of and around his spot.
I said he wasn't particular. Our business puts us in contact with cigarettes, most of which is not very fresh. Especially the product samples that have been packed away for a few years. He would go and help himself to these. :o
My seventh grade math teacher worked there?!?
It truley is a small world. We called him "Stench Beard" back in them days.
Leo
Sounds like he needs to "Be Clean Clear and Deodorized Too"!
Quote from: Trinity on August 28, 2008, 09:24:42 PM
That reminds me of a feller who used to work where I do. He ran a milling machine, hardly ever was bathed, stunk, had a long, greasy pony tail, and had only two teeth. He had a set of dentures that he put in only at lunch time, but took them out for the rest of the day. Said they hurt him. ;D
Every single day, he would eat in the lunch room and make everyone sick. Because he wasn't used to the teeth, his food seemed to go everywhere but in his mouth. You could always go to him a few hours later and tell what he had for lunch by looking at his beard.
He was a heavy smoker and not to particular on the brand and as he was shoveling the last bite into his near his mouth he was lighting up. He didn't get two drags in before he would start the most awful hacking fit you've ever heard and it didn't stop until he had a several more drags. Do I need to tell you that even more food ended up across the room? He sat at the same spot every day, and the few people who dared eat in there avoided the entire area in front of and around his spot.
I said he wasn't particular. Our business puts us in contact with cigarettes, most of which is not very fresh. Especially the product samples that have been packed away for a few years. He would go and help himself to these. :o
But was he a good machinist? ;D
I guess that if the Company was content with his work, I guess his personal habits didn't matter.
Could be some sortah union thing, Tex...
Well as they say, a white collar worker showers before work, a blue collar one does after work. :)
When I worked at the zinc smelter, we had to shower after work. I had to use liquid dishwashing soap to shower with to get all the dirt, grease, and soot washed off.
Installin isnsulation will have ya on a regular evenin shower routine. Bear of it is they gotta be cold showers so yer pours don open up. I's sure we could all use a cold shower every now an then, but everyday?!? Just aint right.
Leo
Thinikin' about insulayson makes me wanna sctatch.
Makes you itch about as much as grabbing up hay bales on a hot summer day.
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on August 30, 2008, 08:32:39 AM
Makes you itch about as much as grabbing up hay bales on a hot summer day.
But not as much as doin' body work on a durned Vette. :P
We had an ol drunk painter at the body shop that called em fiber plastic.
Never messed with a 'vette. Have repaired blisters on boats 'n handled insulation werkin' HVAC.
Best I've found was rinsin' off with a hose before leavin' the job site. Don't try to dry with a towel just air dry. Rarely had a problem.
worst itching I was ever in, was combining milo, man if you ever rubbed it, that spot would itch, every evening when I'd get done I had the garden hose run up over a tree limb so I could take off ma clothes and take a cold rinse off before going in for a shower. we always combined it in late August so it'd be hot and you'd be sweating, sticky work.
Quote from: Texas Lawdog on August 30, 2008, 10:33:48 AM
We had an ol drunk painter at the body shop that called em fiber plastic.
had a buddy used to slalom (sp) race, with a Beetle, he told all the Vette guys he beat to get rid of their kiddy cars and get a real one. He could beat all but 1 or 2 of them in the area.
OT, Cutting wheat and maize was always itchy work. We had a Corvette drag car for a while (B Modified SP). I took my Dad out in it for a ride. He said "If I let you keep this thing, Jimbo, You're gonna kill yourself", Your Momma would never forgive Me". He sold it and I got a 66 GTO .
Since we are on the subject of cars check this out.
http://editorial.autos.msn.com/landingpageindustryinsider.aspx?cp-documentid=601708&icid=602>1=22018
AH, A Dodge Challenger!
Quote from: Delmonico on August 29, 2008, 05:19:59 PM
But was he a good machinist? ;D
Not really. He was usually asleep, standing up and leaning against the machine while it was running. Gave everybody a good view of his two teeth. ;D
Ol' Green Teeth!
"Ol' yeller"
That guy sorta reminds of the description that Charlie Daniels sings about in "The Uneasy Rider".
Didja kick im in tha shins TLD? ;D
Nope! I didn't wanna get that close.
Not hearin' anything from the Ranch with No Name for over 2 months, Sod Buster saddles his horse and rids over there to see if everyone is OK.
as Sod Buster gets nearer he crosses the Dismal and spots Trinity with axe in hand, chasin after the traditional Thanksgiviing Turkey, hollering at the turkey as he runs.
Trinity is turkey huntin with his new huntin dogs!
Leo sees the odds are agin't Trinman an opens fire on the gobbler. First time he's tried the pistols on a live target since their trip down the hole in the out house. He passes out from black powder inhalation afore he knows if'n he scored a hit er not.
Slim sits on the porch with coffee cup in hand and shakes his head, ;D
Things are a little slow movin' in the cold weather so porch settin' is okay. Slim decides to ride into town and stop by the barber shop to watch a few haircuts.
Seeing no one at the Ranch (Slim had left by the time Sod Buster got there & Trinity & Leo are still out hunitng), Sod Buster leaves a note and heads back to his lonely, drafty, dirty soddy.
Sod Buster hopes to hear from them as he was lookin' forward to one of Del's Thanksgiving meals.
Sod Buster even made four pies - Apple, Cherry, Pumpkin.....and Pecan.
Sod Buster reads aloud as he writes his note. The werds "pecan pie" carry on the breeze an make there way ta Leo's ear. He wakes up an don't care bout no turkey no more.
"Del! Del! didja ferget ta invide Sod Buster?!? He got pies! Better make sure he's comin tamarra. An don tell Trinity".
Trinty smells the pies and is headed to Sod Buster's house for Thanksgiving.
DERN IT!!!
Trinity walks through the door of the soddy and right up to the cherry pie. He stops and stares at it for a long time as drool collects around his feet. A steady sound snaps Trinity out of his daze and he turns to see Sod Buster staring at him, tapping his feet.
"Oh, sorry 'bout bustin' in, Stranger. Ah done smailt churries an' hadta come see whar it was a-comin' from."
Trinity produces a headless turkey from his satchel and offers it to Sod Buster.
Sod Buster takes the Turkey from Trinity and goes out to the smoke house to put the Turkey on. It will take most of the night but it should be ready for an early Lunch tomorrow. Trinity eats half of the cherry pie and gets sleepy and lays down next to the fireplace.
All that matters is that the pecan pie is safe fer now and that the headless bird has at least one bullet in it.
Leo gives up on the rest and heads fer the soddy with pie on his mind.
Sod Buster goes down in his root celler for some taters and sweet taters for Thanksgiving. He decides to make a sweet tater pie to make up for the cherry pie that Trinity ate half of.
Seein' & Smellin' the taters, Trinity grabs the remaining half of the Cherry pie and heads outdoors for some fresh air.
And another nap.
While Trinnity naps, the rest enjoy a Happy Thanksgiving feast with all the trimming. After enjoying seconds on everything, they pack the leftovers for Trinity to take home to his family who must be wondering where he is.....but will all this food make it to Trinity's shack without being consumed first?
The smell of the packaged leftovers brings Trinity out of his nap........
There wasn't much going on at the barber shop so Slim heads out to the range ta check on the beeves.
Slim notices that beeves are staging some sort of protest march. They're carryin' signs that say "EAT MORE CHIKIN"!
Irish rides up next ta Slim, "now what ya reckon that's all about?"
While everyone goes to Sodbusters for dinner, Delmonico and Duke eat some summer sausage and cheese as they take a break from chasin' birds out on the praiire.
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on November 28, 2008, 03:43:49 PM
Irish rides up next ta Slim, "now what ya reckon that's all about?"
"I'm not sure."
Trinity makes his way back to his home. Sod Buster had him worried with all the talk about his family. He realized that he hasn't seen them since he went to town a month ago to tie on a drunk.
On the way to his cabin, Trinity decides to lighten his load and eats half of the food in the pack, starting with the remainder of the cherry pie, which he had hidden from everyone else.
A little further down the path, Trinity eats another half of the pack's contents.
With his cabin within sight, Trinity stops to eat again half.
Q: How much food is left?
...
A: The veggies that Sod Buster slipped in.
Trinty doesn't want to hurt Sod Buster's feelings, so he buries the vegetables in a shallow unmarked grave on the side of the road. He continues on his journey home.
... but Trinity didn't say any words over the grave. Nope, none at all.
And that night when the moon came out, so did the vegatable zombies. ;D
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/Mrsvegie.jpg)
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/mutant.jpg)
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/zzz.jpg)
Trinity's WORST nightmare! :( :( :(
Quote from: Trinity on December 03, 2008, 07:18:51 PM
Trinity's WORST nightmare! :( :( :(
I can think of worse:
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/mm.jpg)
"Who in tarnation!?
"Sherlene! Ah thank yaw mothah's come ta visit!" :o :o :o
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/jabs/yikes.jpg)
While wandering back ta the ranch on the trail, leo is accosted by a large groop of evil mutant zombie veggies. He figguers he is done fer than remembers that due ta a shortage of lead his last batch of bullits were casted outta a bunch a silver double eagles he inadvertantly tripped over while cleanin up around the ranch.
"Die spuds of satan". The only thing louder than gunfire is a scream from down the road that sounds distinctly like it come from Trinty.
Leo don't realize you can't kill zombie veggies that way, they only re-in-car-nate inta sumthin' worse. ::)
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/food/prosagelinks.jpg)
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/food/worthingtonveja-linkscartonflat.jpg)
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/food/worthington-prime-stakes.gif)
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/food/worthington-wham.gif)
And worst of all:
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/food/Postum.gif)
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/food/zzzzz.jpg)
Trinity runs up and grabs the generic beer cans before anyone else can get them.
But then someone else shows up who wants them.
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/eller-funk.jpg)
dang elefunks, then a noise in the underbrush makes the animal break and run and a hunter appears in the openin near Trinity
Trinity had just eaten several pickled eggs and the when the first sip of generic beer meets the eggs in his belly, a reaction occurred that caused the Mammoth to run in fear.
Texas Lawdog offers Trinity an autograph copy of "Midnight at the Oasis" and "I gotta Brand new pair of roller skates, you gotta a brand new key" by Maria Muldair for the two cans of generic beer.
Quote from: Trinity on December 03, 2008, 08:33:31 PM
Trinity had just eaten several pickled eggs and the when the first sip of generic beer meets the eggs in his belly, a reaction occurred that caused the Mammoth to run in fear.
The major explosion leaves Trinity and the Eller-funk in bad shape. ;D
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/800px-Comparative_view_of_the_human.jpg)
The area is declared a disaster area.
Leo stumbles inta the area covered in veggie guts lookin fer the free camel parking as promised by Tex an Maria. Figures he can snatch one of them dromerdairys up an get back ta the ranch quicker. Then he sees the horrid green cloud spreading across the land.
Leo picks out a good one, one that looks like it could run. He rides off on the stolen camel in the direction away from the advancing green cloud.
Soon the green cloud covers nearly all of Newbrasskey, completely covering the ranch, Silver Creek Slim County, OT's kingdom and Sod Buster Township, almost to the edge of litlroosterville. ... And the wind just picked up.
And from litl rooserville they can see it coming'
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/750px-Mammatus_cloud_panorama.jpg)
as the clouds clear near the ranch, Slim, who's been out deer huntin finds he has bagged his limit. :o
Aw Slim!!!!!!!! >:( >:( >:( >:(
Delmonico takes the wagon down to where Slim is, Slim thinks to help him load his deer, but when he gets there, Del sees Santa was just on a coal run to Wyoming, so he loads up his wagon to the brim with coal and heads back to the Ranch.
litl rooster puts on his glasses to get a better view of the coming cloud.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/greencloud.jpg)
litl rooster begins ta sing
From daylight till dusk we've been a workin' in the dust
Pickin' cotton workin' side by side
Well I can't forget yes I remember yet the way my daddy looked at me and cried
Big wind's a comin' listen to the hummin' hurry up son be quick don't stall
You know we can't be slow take the kids and get below
If we don't hurry it'll surely get us all
Well I ran across the field so scared my lips was sealed
To warn my mom the storm is on its way
Well I knew I'd won my race when I saw my mamy's face
And the way she looked at me and said
Big wind's a comin'...
Oh but dad was on the cellar and by now the sky was yellow
The wind was a blowin' trees were fallin'
And outside I heard him cryin' and as he lay there dyin'
It seemed I could still hear him callin'
Son big wind's a comin'...
Big wind big wind's comin'
Leo runs the cammel at all get out towards the ranch. He knows of one place ta serve as the ultimate bomb shelter, he been down there before.
As he comes ta the clearing of the mutant veggie masacre he sees strange cocoons hatching in the trees. Out come the evil veggi meat spawn Del had warned him of. Hydrogenated (and partialy hydrogenated) oil drips from their fangs. Leo blows past them in a wink and they don't see the cloud approaching from behind. The last thing they see on this earth is a fast moving one humper's butt an the dust from it's hooves. The last thing they hear is the whoopin an hollerin of a half crazy gunslinger as he rides away. (OK, mebbe it's more than half ta you folks, we measure differnt back home.) The cloud overcomes the evil creatures, wiping them outta existance. The clearing of the veggie masacre is ferever known henceforth as hainted an unhallowed ground.
Up ahead, Leo sees Trinity's privy an his salvation. "GO LUMPY,GO LIKE THE WIND!!!"
Duck n Cover, Duck n Cover, Duck n Cover.
8)
Slim sees Leo riding some strange animal towards the privy. He wonders why we still have a privy since we have a WC. ::)
Leo had learned that the privy had been converted to a concrete bombproof shelter which had enough room for him and Lumpy.
Del thowed ma guns down the hole when I kilt the magic box. Lumpy's gonna have ta fend fer himself once I get there.
Hope Roo's figgued it was time ta quit starin an take cover.
That conrete privy/ bomb shelter was stocked with barrels of water , dehydrated food packets, and Army surplus rations left over from the Great War. Leo also descovered several scks of Purina Camel Chow for Lumpy.
I'se in heaven. I like sprinklin a sugar packet in with a creamer packet in a spoon a pretendin it's 'niller ice scream. Lumpy likes it too. We both enjoy the little biscuts that swell up in a cup a water jus as much. We's gonna ride this one out in gran style fer sure.
Trinity feels the cramps comin' on and remembers why the keep the privy, he's banned from the WC in the house. He just makes it to the privy, suts the door, drops his drawers and sits down and,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ::) ;D :P :P
Unfortunately, Trinity doesn't notice that Leo has sealed the hole with serran wrap on his way down. He was gonna use the more obvious tin foil but bein this wasn't an atomic attack he felt the flavor wrap seal would suit better. The stuff is so clear he figgued he'd know when it's safe ta come out.
:o
;D
8)
Leo didn't have any tin foil left to make a hat out of to protect his head from the alien radio beams.
After Trinity leaves, Leo realiizes his only way out is blocked by a thin piece of plastic and some Trinity poop,,,,,, and the plastic is startin' to sag,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,real bad. ;D
Leo reaches in his knapsack and pulls out his trusty rainbow colored umbrella hat and puts it on.
Quote from: Texas Lawdog on December 06, 2008, 02:38:40 PM
Leo reaches in his knapsack and pulls out his trusty rainbow colored umbrella hat and puts it on.
He also pulls out a fan and waves it cause we all know that the poop is about to hit the fan. ;D
Thinking quickly, Leo places a 5 gallon bucket under the hole an fills it half way with Tidy Bowl. He offers his appologies ta the little man in the littlle boat for what is ta come and dawns one of the haz mat suits that was left in the shelter.
"Hang on lumpy, this could get rough" He straps on a gas mask and waits fer the inevitable...
As down it comes, Leo learns you can't put 10 gallons of poop in a 5 gallon bucket. :P
As the bucket starts ta over flow Leo fires the bilge pump. The mix of Trinman's goods an Tie D Bowl disapears. According ta the plans it should be sent ta the Dismal, but Leo is unaware that who ever did the plumbing was drunk an accidentaly tied the sewer line inta the Ranch's With No Name's well. Just as he's givin Lumpy a pat on the back fer bein a good trooper he hears a scream come from Del's private shower. :o
With no time ta speculate what the problem may be, He prepares a somber memorial service fer the miniature boat captain who sacrificed so much fer so few.
Knowin' if there is poop involved who caused the problem, Delmonico fires up The Steam Traction Engine and parks it right in front of the privy door. ;D
(Works well with a gas burner when little brother is in one.) ::)
Leo looks up the hole when he hears the ruckus. He sees a figgure that looks like his old pal Del, but is blue as a smurf an stinks ta high heaven. He is despondent figguin only that the green cloud had passed over an mutated all who were caught in it's wake.
"Best we set this out awhile Lumpy ole pal. Who knows what we'll find up in that strange new werld. If it's anythin like the comic books, it won't be perty. I tell ya that one poor creature up there has hair an skin just as blue...well just as blue as that stuff I poured in that bucket."
Sod Buster comes riding by and sees Leo down in the Privy. He wonders outloud if Leo is the new self-appointed Night Soil Man.
Or maybe "The Toxic Avenger".
The last time Leo self-appointed himself ta anythin he thought bein a ferrier meant he'd get ta drive a boat full a passengers back an forth across the Dismal ::)
The horse shoe shaped scar on his forehead gives him a daily reminder not ta do that again.
Leo forgot the old saying, "A man's gotta know his limitations".
Leo wants ta be home fer Christmas so he an Lumpy venture up the hole an take their chances. As he mounts his trusty camel in his haz mat suit he features himself as one of the 3 wiseacres er wisemen er whatever.
He makes it as far as the ranch an thinks some food an a good night of sleep might be the best way ta start off.
Quote from: Leo Tanner on December 12, 2008, 04:57:34 PM
Leo wants ta be home fer Christmas so he an Lumpy venture up the hole an take their chances. As he mounts his trusty camel in his haz mat suit he features himself as one of the 3 wiseacres er wisemen er whatever.
He makes it as far as the ranch an thinks some food an a good night of sleep might be the best way ta start off.
Then he notices a big bright full moon, and it's not Trinity. ::)
Actually It's Kate Smith and she's singing "When the Moon comes over the Mountain". Leo decides to follow the bouncing ball and starts singing along with her. Lumpy seems to like the singing.
Quote from: Texas Lawdog on December 12, 2008, 06:47:22 PM
Actually It's Kate Smith and she's singing "When the Moon comes over the Mountain". Leo decides to follow the bouncing ball and starts singing along with her. Lumpy seems to like the singing.
Delmonico shakes his head, cause the moon has a few hundred miles to go afore it goes over a dang mountian. ::)
Leo don't notice the big ole moon cause the clouds er blockin it. Not the green cloud, it has moved on ta create destruction elsewhere. However the H. Mancini tune "Moon River" is caught in his noggin fer some gawd awfull reason. He plods along wonderin what in bejeebis is a "huckleberry friend". ???
Quote from: Leo Tanner on December 12, 2008, 07:06:49 PM
Leo don't notice the big ole moon cause the clouds er blockin it. Not the green cloud, it has moved on ta create destruction elsewhere. However the H. Mancini tune "Moon River" is caught in his noggin fer some gawd awfull reason. He plods along wonderin what in bejeebis is a "huckleberry friend". ???
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/TV%20Movies/Huck.jpg)
or
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/TV%20Movies/180px-Huckleberry-finn-with-rabbit.jpg)
Leo, not knowing which Huckleberry to think about starts singin another song.
I see a bad moon a-rising.
I see trouble on the way.
I see earth quakes and lightnin'.
I see bad times today.
Don't go 'round tonight
It's bound and take your life,
There's a bad moon on the rise.
I hear hurricanes a-blowing,
I know the end is coming soon.
I fear rivers over flowing.
I hear the voice of rage and ruin.
Don't go 'round tonight
It's bound and take your life,
There's a bad moon on the rise.
Hope you got your things together.
Hope you are quite prepared to die.
Look's like we're in for nasty weather.
One eye is taken for an eye.
Don't go 'round tonight
It's bound and take your life,
There's a bad moon on the rise.
Have heard a similar song about the bathroom a risin' and the bathroom on the right. ;D
Leo remembers that Doc Holliday talks about huckleberries, so he heads east toward Tombstone, Arizona Territory. Leo hopes that he and Lumpy can find water in the Arizona desert.
Quote from: Texas Lawdog on December 13, 2008, 02:34:40 AM
Leo remembers that Doc Holliday talks about huckleberries, so he heads east toward Tombstone, Arizona Territory. Leo hopes that he and Lumpy can find water in the Arizona desert.
Might find some daiseies too ;D
so now let me see, Leo's in Newbrassky, and he heads out East fer Arizona Territory. soon he runs into the town and Mrs. Collinwoods, there sits Trinity, who tells him since he ain't in Californiy now he can travel West and not run out into the ocean.
Mrs. Collinwoods goes upstairs and comes down with the late Mr. Collinwoods compass and gives it to Leo so he can find Arizona.
Leo and Lumpy wanna take the scenic route to get to Arizona by way of Newbrassky.
Lumpy likes corn. It seemed ta be the best way around. Ventually the needle'll point SW an I kin git there. Just gotta keep goin in circles til it do.
Leo
Leo and Lumpy get mistaken for UFO's for makin' circles in corn fields.
Unfortunately the true beauty of them wont be discovered til air travel is since there aint no high ground in Newbrassky upon which ta view them from.
But then agin, in Newbrassky anythin seems possible...
;D
Come on down, We gots a reception for Em in Arizona Territory,
Has a BBQ Pit for Kantankerous Kousies.
:D
:o
;D
8)
Have gun, will travel ;)
well we could rig up a catapult and fling Trinity high up in the air and he could give us a report when he comes down. ::)
High enough for bluebirds to build a nest in his BUTT!
Quote from: Marshal harpoluke on December 13, 2008, 08:58:41 PM
;D
Come on down, We gots a reception for Em in Arizona Territory,
Has a BBQ Pit for Kantankerous Kousies.
:D
:o
;D
8)
Yep down there they also -BQ usin' pasture weeds as fuel. :P
Del, We gotta find a use for all that mesquite we got down here. Why not use it to smoke meat.
I'm jus lookin forward ta some of them cactus fries when I git back down there. Them is gooood.
As Leo and Lumpy still head the wrong direction, they meet a horse and rider and strange things happen. ::)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CnsWQ4kNG-w
Looks like we're both lost AND wearin haz mat suits.
Little do Leo and Lumpy realize, but they have wandered into a practice session of the Bedouins getting ready for the Shriners Christmas parade.
all the shriners give Leo a dirty look , they thought they had the only camel for miles around.
The Shriners had plenty to eat and drink and they shared with Leo and Lumpy.
:o
Dell Ah don'ts see that other Camal there anymore, did it wing up in Yer Dutch Oven? :P
:P
:P
:o
8)
Maybe on "Pot Luck" night?
It musta been on a Wednsday. After all it is called "hump day" by many :D
Trinity walks in upon hearing the mention of food. "Ah shore does love me some mesquite smoked meats, for shore! Say, when y'all was tawlkin' 'bout flangin' me up in tha skah, that weren't just tawlk, was it? Ah wanna go."
I think they're looking for "a few good men".
Then they's in the wrong thread ::)
Texas Lawdog is looking for one of those old missile sites to build the world's largest meat smoker. Maybe we can smoke enough meat to fill Trinity up.
Now yer thinkin...
LawDog BBQ, It's so good, there otta be a Law ageen It.
It'll be a 5 (tin)star establishment :D Del kin make the sauce.
This is soundin perty looc-ra-tiv.
Sauce makes the meat!
used to go to a coupla BBQ joints over in Oklahoma, just for the sauce, meat was good, but the sauce was the whole meal ;D
Heat up a good sauce an ya got good soup :D
First time I did it I figgued if people eat plain ol tomato soup, this is an upgrade. I was right.
Leo
Tomatoes make good sauces, soups, or toppings.
seems like the sauce changes as you go across the country, what's popular here won't necessarly be what they have over in Oklahoma or Texas, that's part of the fun of tryin new places, ya might not like it, but it might be the best. ;D
I always like BBQ sauce that's spicy and not real thick. Texas and Okla. BBQ is different from KC. BBQ is different in Memphis, and then you have Carolina style. BBQ is mostly good unless it's dry, I can't stand dry BBQ.
I've tried those that you mentioned, like all of em in their own way, but they are a little different, some of em take more sauce,
I like the sauce to not completely cover up the beef or pork taste but just to add to it.
What little BBQ we see around here is KC style.
We've got a place that opened a few years ago called "Red, Hot, and Blue. They do Memphis style and KC style. I guess that Baby Back ribs are my favorite, and then sliced brisket. I like Hot Links, sausage, and pulled pork for sammiches. When you get down around Austin and San Antonio, they do "LBJ" style BBQ, The meat is in chunks, a little bigger than old style ice cubes. I like brisket that is sliced withe sauce on the side.
I really perfer the sauce on the side on all of it, I like to add to it depending on how the meat tastes, some of it's almost to good to cover the taste much.
I love hot links, I used to make hot link gravy for breakfast with biscuts, sure was good, but it was some hot eatin. ;D
I got spoilt on sauce livin in KC. I like that sweet thick stuff that carmelizes on the meat. Tex is right bout dry BBQ. It aint what I'm lookin for. I want ta need a pressure washer ta clean up after I'm done with a rack ;D
Leo
I've had BBQ from one end of the country to the other. I prefer the "low and slow" cooked over hickory in a smoker. You make can most meat taste better, even CHICKEN!.
almost anytime you see a seperate building with smoke comin from it out back of the restrant you nealy know they got a smoke pit BBQ menu. that's some good eatin, nearly all the BBQ places over in Oklahoma have the pit smoker. least the good ones.
It's only gonna be Moose and I and two dogs for Christmas dinner. I'm thinkin' about just goin' to the BBQ place and gettin' some brisket, smoked ham, and smoked turkey on take-out.
well TLD that sounds like a pretty good idea. we got a ham to cook, far as I know nobody but Jackie and I and the dogs here, since we've got baby birds we'll have to stick around pretty close. but I'm sure we'll see everybody before holidays are over.
The Moose and I are "only children" and our parents are deceased, so we don't have any real family anymore.
I'm an only child, have one son, Seth that lives over near Muskogee Ok. we see him a coupla times a year. I've got tons of cousins, but they are scattered to 4 winds. one is a dentist down around you somewhere, Richardson, Texas I think. others in Oklahoma and California, just everywhere. Jackie has 3 sisters, her dad and stepmom and her mother and step father, they all live over around Muskogee too. we see them a time or 2 a year.
Yep, Richardson is north of Dallas on I 75 toward Okieland.
Got two birthdays here 'fore Christmas. Goin' ta the in-laws fer Christmas Dinner.
Slim, Let's hope you don't have to break out your snowshoes or a dog sled to get anywhere.
Tween me an Lil my Dad is the only parent left an he lives out in Arizona near my only sister. Out here in CA we got the kids an out adopted extended family. On holidays we never know who's going to show up. Makes it interesting.
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on December 21, 2008, 02:07:12 PM
Got two birthdays here 'fore Christmas. Goin' ta the in-laws fer Christmas Dinner.
Busy time of year for you! :o My family's busiest is end of September/early October.
Slim straps on his snowshoes. ;)
Slim has already donned his Mackinaw, his wool muffler, and his plaid railroad cap.
Slim trys to think of warmer weather and sings his self a song as he trudges along.
Well it's good morning captain
Good morning shine
Do you need another muleskinner
Out on your new mud line
I like to work
I'm rolling all the time
I can pop my initials
On a mule's behind
Hey little water boy
Bring that water round
If you don't like your job
Set that water bucket down
Workin' on the good road
Dollar and a half a day
My good girl's waiting on a Saturday night
Just to draw my pay
I'm going to town, honey
What you want me to bring you back?
Bring a pint of booze
And a John B Stetson hat
I smell your bread a-burning
Turn your damper down
If you ain't got a damper, good gal
Turn your bread around
In an effort to keep warm, Slim takes some coals from the fire and drops them in his pockets. It's not long before he realizes that it was probably not a good idea.
Slim gets another song stuck is his head...
Chesnuts roasting on an open fire
In the Holiday Spirit
Chipmunks roasting on an open fire
Hot sauce dripping from their toes
Yuletide squirrels fresh filleted by the choir
They poked hot skewers through their nose
Everybody knows some pepper and a garlic clove
Help to make them seasoned right
Tiny rats with a crisp golden coat
Will really hit the spot tonight
And now when Santa sees his tray
There'll be some homemade chipmunk jerky for his sleigh
And every hungry child is gonna spy
To see if chipmunks really sing when they fry
And so I'm brushing on some honey glaze
To keep them crisp and juicy too
Let's hope they get served many times many ways
Tasty Chipmunks; good food
And so I'm offering some recipes
From chipmunk pie to chipmunk stew
I'm not really sad that it ended this way
Furry chipmunks for you
With 6 you get EGGROLL!
Choice of wonton er hot an sour soup ta boot!
Steamed lice or flied lice!
Sitting in his hammock on the porch, Trinity suddenly slaps his forehead.
"Dernit, dernit, Dernit! Ah kain' b'lieve that we done missed tha Solstice festimativites. Now we's gotta wait teeyul June afore we kin' daince nekkid about a fahr. :("
Trinity, I think I can wait till June.
well we might keep our eyes on March 15, the Ides of March, beware the Ides of March. ::)
ET TU Brute!
"Whal tha fifteemf do have somethin' mystical surroundin' it, it ain' tha tahm ta daince nekkid roun' a fahr."
Nope, I'se balieve it's why we gots metal deetektors at all the gubberment bildens.
Them metal detectors are only as good as the folks that operate them.
Ain't that the truth.
Sod Buster drops by Trinity's shack to delivery a little holiday "cheer" and notices that Trinity has his place decorated for Christmas:
"Ah would have maw reindeers a-pullin' Santy's slaid, but Ah done shot the other ones. Ah got this'n hangin' outside an' tha other's haids is on mah wawl."
(http://www.joe-ks.com/archives_dec2005/RedneckReindeer.jpg)
Sod Buster offers Trinity some "cheer" that he ordered special from North Carolina:
"Whah thankee, stranger. Ah kain' git none of this stuff since Ah done come out har."
Trinty had to move to North Carolina and leave Texas. Them Food Lion stores done left Texas and took all the Texas Pete and Cheerwine back to North Carolina. Trinity just had to go to North Carolina his thrist was too strong.
Texas Pete has always been made in Winston-Salem, just a few miles down the road. The company was founded by a group of brothers as a BBQ sauce. The brothers initially all agreed that the name should be "Mexican Joe", but later decided that the name should sound more American so they chose "Texas" and their brother Harold's nickname. Can you guess what this was?
Good thing his nick name wasn't Stumpy er Butthead er somethin like that. Things coulda gone poorly fer them boys.
Trinity, I have h friend that is from China Grove, NC, which is near Kannapolis. He goes home to visit his folks and he always brings back a supply of Cheerwine and Texas Pete.
Sod Buster rides quietly over to the Ranch with No Name and tiptoes up the stairs to the cupola where he lights a candle for the FFG. :'( and rides quietly back to his Soddy.
Sod Buster turns in for the night and says a prayer that God will watch over all of his pards here in the Great Plains of Nebrassky.
God Bless SB.
as the boys at the Ranch begin to stir, they notice the coal bin is filled to overflowin, so a little extry is added to the stove fer all the cookin that'll take palce today.
It's time to get those buttermilk biscuits in the oven. Make sure there's enough butter churned and the milk is good and cold. Put the second cawfee pot on and go out to the smokehouse for some bacon and ham. Go by the henhouse and gather some eggs. Christmas Day breakfast at the Ranch with no Name is shaping up nicely. A Merry Christmas to every one at Cas City!
Leo has managed to ride his Lumpy in a wide sweeping circle and comes upon the RWNN just as dawn breaks Christmas Morning.
"Guess I am home fer the holly-daze".
Just unsaddle Lumpy and put him in the corral. There's hay, grain, and plenty of water.
Slim goes to the cupola and watches the flame of the candle. :'(
As Slim looks at the flames, he remembers past Christmases, and dreams of Christmases to come.
Slim goes to his room and puts on the shirt that the FFG gave him a few years ago.
Trinity digs out his cardboard-stiff trousers and stands them in the corner of her room.
Delmonico looks around the ranch house, sees nothing going on that needs his attention. He leaves a note on the dining room table, "I'm going to Omaha for supplies, see you in a few days."
He saddles Reuben and heads to Dunning and the CB&Q depot. ::)
Slim stokes the fire.
Leo brushes down Lumpy.
Sod Buster checks his plow and harnesses for the mules in anticipation of the spring planting season.
Sod Buster remembers back to last Springs Harvest and looks forward to this years crops.
Trinity goes over to make sure that the stranger is planting corn. Trinity has an extra large order to fill this year.
Irish puts on a pot of coffee and starts cleaning things up, knowing Del will want a clean kitchen when he returns.
Lawdog splits some wood and fills up the wood box next to the cook stove.
Slim milks the cow and gathers the eggs. He starts making breakfast.
Texas Lawdog goes out to the smokehouse and brings in a slab of bacon for breakfast.
Delmonico puts Reuben in the livery stable and catches the evening eastbound CB&Q.
Quote from: Texas Lawdog on March 04, 2009, 08:17:02 AM
Texas Lawdog goes out to the smokehouse and brings in a slab of bacon for breakfast.
"Thank ya, sir. That will go good with the eggs."
Slim cooks up eggs and bacon. "Come and git it!"
Everyone sits down to have something to eat before Trinity shows up. The only time you can get a bit to eat iz when he's chekin his Stills.
G Men, T Men, Revenuers too, searchin' where Trinity made his home brew!
Leo sits back an enjoys listnin ta the Lawdog sing George Jones whilst he cleans his pistols with bacon grease.
Leo, Save a little of the bacon grease to fry up some taters in.
rubbed yer pistol down with bacon grease, I remember the last time somebody done that. Trinity gnawed the hammer and front sight plum offen it. :o
I shoulda thought a that. He's prolly got inta the deer tallow too >:(
Jest as long as he don't eat my fried taters and onions.
Delmonico arrives in Omaha and gets a hotel room. He heads out to eat supper in some fancy place. ;)
The Cracker Barrel?
No at Reuben Kulakofsky's place, I need to see if he really is makin' my samwhich and if he is, I need to collect royalties. ;D
Quote from: Delmonico on November 28, 2005, 09:53:26 PM
<Authors Note: Thousand Island Dressing. :P>
When the bread is done, Delmonico warms up the sauerkraut and slices some of the salted beef. (corned beef ;D) He slices the very dark rye bread, puts one the holey cheese, the meat, the dressing and the kraut. He then butters the tops of the bread and browns them till the cheese melts and serves them fer suppper. "Since my ridin' mule was with me when I got the beef I'll name it fer him. I proclaim this a Reuban Samwhich." ;D ;D ;D ;D ::) ::)
<Author's Note: Since there are many claims to the invewntion, I'll claim it also. :P :P>
The smell of bacon reaches Trinity at Still #9 and he runs back to the ranch just in time to get the last plate from Slim. Overjoyed, he performs the bacon dance.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/ngbbs450d0391e9c80.gif)
Trinity then runs to get something from the barn.......
Leo sees the bacon dance an runs his pistols ta a safe place. He looks fer Del's bottle of lemmon Joy ta wash the suculent smell off.
Quote from: Sod Buster on March 05, 2009, 08:06:22 PM
Trinity then runs to get something from the barn.......
"Mmmmmmmmmmm, mm! Them littlun's tha kahnd ya kin' just throw d'reckly inta tha earl. Ain no need ta skeeun 'em er nothin'."
Trinity lifts his head into the air and sniffs deeply. "Ah steeul smail bacon!"
Them little piggies ain't ready for market yet.
Theys shuda stayed home er had roast beef er somthin.
How about some potatoes, carrots and onions to go along with the roast beef?
Quote from: Texas Lawdog on March 05, 2009, 08:20:46 PM
Them little piggies ain't ready for market yet.
"Yes they is! An' Ah done give tha recipe."
Trinity walks over to a large 10qt pot with boiling water in it......the piggies start to squeal louder and squirm in his grasp.
Best ta do tha rite thin here, afterawls they aint lobsters...
Ya aint hit are ya Trin? Please tell me ya aint hit :o
Delmonico goes back to his hotel room after dining at Rueben's restaurant. The sammich wasn't as good as the one he made. He goes to bed, content that he invented the sammich and that his was better than Rueben's. Rueben the mule should feel honored.
"Trinity, put dem piglets back in the barn!"
Trinity is just anxious to eat them little piggies. There's gonna be a lot more to eat if he would let them grow up.
Delmonico gets his shopping done, arranges to have it shipped and catches the west bound evening CB&Q.
Delmonico dozes in his seat in the railroad car on his way back to the Ranch with no Name.
Delmonico reaches Dunning, makes arrangements to have his purchases shipped when they arrive. He then gets Reuben and heads for the ranch.
Slim starts to cook some bacon and ham on the stove, Trinity drop the little piggies and stands next to Slim by the stove drooling like he is hypnotized!
While Trinity is distracted by the food the others grab the little piggies and take them back to their pens.
As Slim finishes preparing the bacon, Trinity follows closely as the meal is served at the table. After quickly downing ten eggs and three quarters of the bacon that Slim had fried, Trinity goes outside to his hammock. Soon, he's snoring and occasionally calling out in his sleep, "Here piggy piggy piggy".
Trinity dozes as thoughts of little piggies dance through his head.
Delmonico gets back to the ranch and puts Reuben in the barn.
Delmonico goes to bed and dreams, with thoughts of recipes dancing in his head.
Quote from: Texas Lawdog on March 08, 2009, 01:40:08 PM
Delmonico goes to bed and dreams, with thoughts of recipes dancing in his head.
And his shipment that is comin' in a few days. ;D
Dream On Pard!
Trinity yawns and rolls onto his side.
While Trinity slleeps, Delmonico builds a wire pen near him. The frieght wagon then comes and Delmonico uppacks a crate. Trinity opens his eyes and sees two starin' back at him. ::)
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/798px-Farmed_Ostrich.jpg)
Leo sees jumbo omelets in the near future. Or a tacky pair a boots.,
One omlete feeds 10 people.
Or ten a them omelets feeds one Trinity! :o
Add a side of pork and 20lbs O cheese and and ya got some big Ham and cheese omletes.
But a pair of these could make Trin a big hit at the bus station...
(http://i247.photobucket.com/albums/gg133/leotanner/timsboots_2043_6019762.gif)
Leo, I got a pair of those Light blue boots, but mine have got round toes.
Quote from: Texas Lawdog on March 09, 2009, 01:04:11 PM
Leo, I got a pair of those Light blue boots, but mine have got round toes.
Doan nobody I know wear roachkillers ennymore.
remember back when them roachkillers was the only thing we wore, sure do like them round toes better.
Bought a pair of them pointy toed watersnake boots in TJ years ago. They were gawdy enough as is but this one vender followed me fer blocks trying ta convince me I needed a pair of silver tips fer em. Those are what we always called cockroach killers. Finally had ta bark at the senior ta get him ta leave me be.
I've had horses and cows step on my feet over the years and I've bad big toes. I gotta wear those round toes. They got these new square toes now. I ain't got on that bandwagon yet.
The Durangos I've worn for several years come square toed, if ya wear em everyday they round out perty quick.
Leo, I ain't talkin' about harness boots, I'm talkin' about western boots like Tony Lama for one.
I don't remember when, soon after goin to College, I bought ma first pair of Tony Lama's, tried a coupla others through the years, but the Tony Lama's are the most comfortable for me, got a good high instep, lots of support.
Know the ones yer talkin about now Pop. Kinda fancy fer me.
Quote from: Leo Tanner on March 09, 2009, 05:16:23 PM
Know the ones yer talkin about now Pop. Kinda fancy fer me.
These ain't fancy...
http://www.cavenders.com/product.asp?cat=1&dept_id=550&pf_id=TLTW1007
Tony Lama makes 100+ styles...
Yeah, they sell some a them around here. Not much for tread on boots, but they sell well.
I was talkin about the square toes he was referring to.
Quote from: Leo Tanner on March 09, 2009, 05:31:05 PM
I was talkin about the square toes he was referring to.
I think I know which ones, just went and checked on the maker.
Anderson Bean, Horsepower Square Toe double sticthed.
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/MRABLarge_S1011.jpg)
The edge of the sole is wider and double stitched, worst thing is they make the top of the sole where they double stitch them a differnt color that the top of the boot. In my honest and un-biased opinion they end up looking like clown shoes. ::)
Del, I wear a size 13, so if got a pair of them, especially in red, that I would make Ronald Mc Donald envious.
Clarabelle too.
I like everything about those boots, except for the square toes.
But yer a Texas plowboy, not an urban cowboy, you don't fight wars but you have fought some men...
reckon they recorded some records, the Texas Plowboys, I bet they was tryin to get some of Bob Wills fame. :o
Leo, I used to be a Lover, a Fighter, a Wild Horse Rider, and a purty fair windmill man too! OT, you got them PlowBoys mixed up with Lester Moran and the Cadillac Cowboys!
Quote from: Texas Lawdog on March 09, 2009, 06:46:49 PM
Leo, I used to be a Lover, a Fighter, a Wild Horse Rider, and a purty fair windmill man too! OT, you got them PlowBoys mixed up with Lester Moran and the Cadillac Cowboys!
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/lester.jpg)
Mean while. back at the ranch: ;D
Slim gets another one of his "better ideas." ::)
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/800px-OstrichCartJacksonville1.jpg)
Trinity looks up from his nap in the hammock.
"Ain' that thang laid no aigs yet?"
As soon as the ostrich gets it's head out of the sand.
An ya sure do love Texas wimmen.
Slim is lookin mightly slim there. He needs some aigs.
"Whah limit mahse'f? Ah jes' love awl wimmin... Wail, mos' awl."
Uh doan look now Trinity but Sherlene iz standin behind ya!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4jL8nkwI3M
You can leave yer hat on, it's JR but thought it was apprapo.
"UH! *cough**cough*. Uh, howdy, Sherlene, lovey-dove! Whatcha doin'? How is tha little'uns? Ya wan' Ah should come home?"
Better go Trin, the cat prolly needs some attention.
Quote from: Delmonico on March 09, 2009, 06:52:27 PM
Mean while. back at the ranch: ;D
Slim gets another one of his "better ideas." ::)
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/800px-OstrichCartJacksonville1.jpg)
"Gitty up!" ;D
Ah! A new sport! Ostrich harness racing!
Delmonico looks out and see's Slim and his Ostrich cart. He goes out on the porch and hollor's at him:
"Dang it Slim, you know I hate it when folks play with their food."
He goes back in the kitchen and goes back to studin' the chart on the wall:
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/food/untitled.jpg)
Dang, them things got a pearl an a oyster cordin ta the chart. We could open a jewelry shop.
The fan is extremely tasty when marinated in fruit juice and broiled, then served with a nice melon chutney.
Quote from: Tensleep on March 10, 2009, 07:35:33 PM
The fan is extremely tasty when marinated in fruit juice and broiled, then served with a nice melon chutney.
Don't know why but sumthin about "a nice melon chutney" got me laughin good an hard. Thanks.
Quote from: Leo Tanner on March 10, 2009, 07:44:35 PM
Don't know why but sumthin about "a nice melon chutney" got me laughin good an hard. Thanks.
Never ate none of it, not a problem with tryin' it, but when I used to see it a few years ago in the grocery store they wanted about twice what prime rib or t-bone cost. Ain't no yard bird worth that much.
Delmonico sends Leo out with the axe, "Now be careful and don't cut Slim's head off." ::)
Leo comes back in a few minutes without the axe tellin' some wild story: ::)
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/mmmm.jpg)
Melon Chutney
Cantaloup, honeydew, other like melon (not watermelon)
Take half of each, make it mush, then squeeze juice out.
Add to apple juice or white grape juice and reduce by half.
Refridgerate, when cool add melon balls from left over half melons.
Chill, serve with meat of choice.
Long an short of it starts with click and ends with bang, boss. Slim is just fine but I think he kinda got attatched ta that thing. It aint like the magic box I swear, boss, I was fearin fer ma life out there. It took that axe an started swingin it in it's beak like a labradore with a steak knife in it's jaws. Thought we was all done in fer certain. Please don' make me eat that melon stuff, it's unagreeable ta me.
::) ::) ::)
Leo, Them fresh melons are good for breakfast with an omelets or scraqmbled eggs.
I don't think nice and chutney should be in the same sentence. ::)
It's like hearin "mango salsa".
That mango salsa is for them yuppies that can't handle real salsa.
Salsa = Sauce in English. Gimme some of that mater an' pepper sauce, please.
Don't be passin' me any of that stuff made in New York City! I want the real stuff made in San ANN tonyo!
Remember them Pace comercials, but then they just called it picante sauce.
Quote from: Leo O'Tanner on March 17, 2009, 08:39:10 PM
Remember them Pace comercials, but then they just called it picante sauce.
Or "Spicy Salsa" for the word nerds like me. ;D
Outta start a threat of "what really means what" Trin. I have a ball with that stuff. Some terms er downritght simple but so common most folks don't think about em an others er just downright inneresting. Love the words ;)
Watch them Words!
While everyone is asleep, Delmonico packs up his bag, 'borrows Slim's team of horses, hooks up the buggy and heads for Dunning. ??? ;D
<Arthur's note: I have a team of horses? ???>
Slim awakes. He goes to milk the cow and gather eggs. He finds his team is gone. He gets a "Mighty Ten", saddles his horse, and rides out in search of the horse thief. ::)
Slim quckly picks of the trail of the team of horses and starts to track the thief.
As he breaks open his shotgun to load it, he finds a note in the chamber. ;D
"Knew you'd look here if yer horses were missing, last time I left a note on the table, Trinty ate it. Got yer team with the buggy, needed the buggy real bad. If ya need to do any wagon pulling or plowin' use the steam tractionengine. The key for it is on the rack behind the kitchen stove., it's embossed CASE on it. Most times I would get mad ifyou got on my Case, but for now it's OK." ::)
Delmonico
Slim reads the note and heads back to his ranch. He knows his team will be taken care of by Delmonico.
Delmonico reaches Dunning, puts the team up in the livery stable and gets on the eastbound CB&Q. ::)
In a fit of jealous rage, Rueben breaks through the fence and goes after his owner.
At a slow rate of speed.
Slim reaches the ranch and puts his horse away. He milks the cow and gathers eggs. He put 'em in the icebox and puts on a fresh pot of coffee. He goes out ta the porch to watch the snow fall. ::)
Slim watches the snow fall and the stars as he enjoys the solitude.
Slim awakes a couple hours later. Goes inside and puts a few logs on the fire.
Slim realizes how lucky he is to be living on the ranch.
What is this boys, a Hallmark card? ;D
Leo, Go take another nap. We'll wake you up later.
OK, I'll go watch the gently driftin snow an the clydsdales majesticly marching across the plains.
You're gettin' ahead of yourself, that don't happen till Christmas.
Quote from: Leo Tanner on April 05, 2009, 08:09:28 PM
What is this boys, a Hallmark card? ;D
Currier & Ives ;D
Dashing through tha snow, In a one horse open sleigh!
Delmonico reaches Omaha and gets a hotel room.
(Lookin' back at the ranch it's a good thing he ain't there, they all need a dose of casotr oil.)
YUK!
Delmonico returns to the hotel with a lot of packages. ::)
Rueben crosses the plains searchin' fer Del. Slowly as always. Lumpy misses his stable mate and follows after.
Quote from: Leo Tanner on April 07, 2009, 06:33:09 PM
Rueben crosses the plains searchin' fer Del. Slowly as always. Lumpy misses his stable mate and follows after.
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/RWNN/kljhg.jpg)
Well there ya go. Captured on film.
Del, I'm glad we finally got to see Rueben on the hoof.
Delmonico takes several cratesto the CB&Q depot, they are marked "Fragile, Handle With Care." He also leave off a strange looking wagon. Delmonico buys a ticket to the morning westbound and goes to his hotel room.
Reuben appears t be a cross, perhaps part spotted draft.
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on April 09, 2009, 04:55:53 AM
Reuben appears t be a cross, perhaps part spotted draft.
Appy mule.
Delmonico checks out of the hotel and goes to the depot to catch the west bound CB&Q.
The crates were loaded in the baggage car and Delmonico settles down in his seat in the passenger car. He nods off on the ride back to Dunning.
RUMBLE......... CRASH........... TUMBLE........... ROLL!
Debris scatters for hundreds of yards.
The CB&Q lays still, water and steam douse the firebox and more steam rises, engine, tender and cars are left in pieces by a cyclone that swiftly moves away.
Wow! That happened so fast!
Delmonico is unhurt and gets out to look at the debris: ;D
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/RWNN/15259r.jpg)
What about the crates of fragile goods in the freight car?
Quote from: Texas Lawdog on April 09, 2009, 05:36:14 PM
What about the crates of fragile goods in the freight car?
We'll have to see. ;D
(Arthur's Note: Train wreck on the CB&Q near Dunning Newbrassky in 1889, from the Butcher Collection.) ;D
And now the rest of the Story!
Got a feelin the rest of the story is a train wreck too ;D
But heck, I'm hooked now.
Delmonico decides to walk on into Dunning and let the CB&Q guys decide if his shipment has been destroyed, with the insurance policy safely in his pocket he heads off, noticing there is a lot of destruction along the path:
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/RWNN/14554r.jpg)
Glad ya caught that. Was just about ta ask.
When Delmonico gets to Dunning, he's glad Trinity ain't along, the condition of the saloon would break his heart. ::)
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/RWNN/13374r.jpg)
It looks like that they might have salvaged a couple of barrels of spirits.
Delmonico's shipment was destroyed in the tornader, so when the Dunning telegraph lines get put back, he wires Omaha for more gear. ;D
Delmonico goes and checks the livery stable, it is fine as well as the buggy and Slim's team. He hitches it up and heads for the ranch, empty handed.::)
Some of the folks at the RWNN wait with baited breath ta see what Del will return with.
Leo wanders through the prarie callin fer Lumpy all night. Occasionaly he calls out fer the mule named after Del's sammich. He gets the feeling that many folks will be disappointed come sunrise.
Quote from: Leo Tanner on April 10, 2009, 10:09:14 PM
Occasionaly he calls out fer the mule named after Del's sammich.
Quote from: Delmonico on November 28, 2005, 09:53:26 PM
QuoteWhen the bread is done, Delmonico warms up the sauerkraut and slices some of the salted beef. (corned beef ) He slices the very dark rye bread, puts one the holey cheese, the meat, the dressing and the kraut. He then butters the tops of the bread and browns them till the cheese melts and serves them fer suppper. "Since my ridin' mule was with me when I got the beef I'll name it fer him. I proclaim this a Reuban Samwhich."
::)
Quote from: Leo Tanner on April 10, 2009, 10:09:14 PM
Some of the folks at the RWNN wait with baited breath ta see what Del will return with.
<Aurthurs Note: Why does this make me think of store bought catfish bait. ::)>
A couple miles out of Dunning, Delmonico remembers what he was gonne get in Omaha besides what the tornader destroyed. He goes back and telly-graphs an order for a couple dozen tooth brushes and a case of tooth powder. ;D
Aint gonna use one a them grinnin crutches up there, gust gonna tell ya that about busted ma gut.
OK, Ill use one a the guys :D
Demonico ordered the extra tooth brushes and tooth powder to make sure he and Rueben can take of their teeth till next winter.
I was thinkin he aquisitioned em so he didn't have ta smell all ours breath no more.
Leo finds fresh camel sign and follows. He is concered that Lumpy has gone back to the Oasis ta find his original owner. He thinks "fair is fair, but what will become of Rueben?"
Delmonico makes it home, he sees Reuben is gone and the steam traction engine is cold. Thinkin' Slim is out over workin' a good ridin' mule, Delmonico digs out his Great 8. ;D
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/95e508b566f48b84.jpg)
Gun Fight at Dunning! Film at 11!
Quote from: Texas Lawdog on April 11, 2009, 04:25:12 PM
Gun Fight at Dunning! Film at 11!
Us at the ranch won't git ta watch it. If ya recall tha magic box met with an untimely demise. ::)
Folks may have to take a ride into town for a close up view.
After searching the ranch and not finding Slim, Delmonico hitches up the buggy anf goes off searching for him and Reuben. :o ;)
As Leo stands in the middle of a cornfield tryin ta get his bearings he is hit batween the eyes with a huge wad of spit. He looks up and sees Lumpy standing just outside the field.
"Dang Boy, that was a fifty yard shot! Kin ya teach me how ta do that when we get home?"
Leo runs to his trusty mount and says, "take me ta Rueben, the boss'll be mad as hornet if he finds him gone".
The two ride off in the direction of the RWNN.
Delmonico parks the buggy in a blow out, and walks to the top of a nearby hill. Taking cover in another blow out, he sees Leo and Lumpy through his field glasses, he stays down and starts to think of his plan of action or lack of it. ::)
Delmonico doesn't have any idea where Rueben is he knows that Rueben is looking for him. Rueben won't stop until he finds his pal Delmonico.
Even if Delmonico has to shoot Leo and Slim. ;D
Irish has managed to round up some of Slim's beeves that had gotten loose during the storm. In the distance he sees Delmonico ride by in a buggy. Irish gets this batch of beeves back to the "Ranch With No Name" and heads out insearch of Slim and the other beeves.
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on April 12, 2009, 09:26:45 AM
insearch of Slim and the other beeves.
Slim of course is lost again in the land of hills and gullies. He remembers when he was a kid, they always told him that the moss grows on the north side of a tree. Slim gets tired after severa; hours since he can't find a tree and so he sits down. ;D
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/untitled-6.jpg)
The sun is going down and it is getting colder, Slim feels the need to build a small fire for warmth. A hot cup of coffee would taste good right now , he thought.
But with no trees Slim can't find no wood for a fire and the country is so rough that the cattle stay out so there are no chips. ;D
With no wood or cow chips, Slim tries to stay warm without the fire.
With an over cast sky and no moon, soon it gets really dark:
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/aa.jpg)
Slim has never felt so alone!
Yanno what's really BAD about this thread?
YA DOAN LET FOLKS SPEAK FOR THEMSELVES!!!!!
Quote from: Tensleep on April 12, 2009, 10:49:10 AM
Yanno what's really BAD about this thread?
YA DOAN LET FOLKS SPEAK FOR THEMSELVES!!!!!
Gotta agee with ya Sleep. Poor Slim must feel like a puppet round here. :(
Leo sees the ranch in sight but still no Rueben. He gets the feelin he's bein watched, the hairs on the back a his neck er standin up.
Yeah, but it's fun to get Slim in deep and let him find his way out. ;)
Quote from: Delmonico on April 12, 2009, 11:13:48 AM
Yeah, but it's fun to get Slim in deep and let him find his way out. ;)
I reckon so when yer tha one makin' an' pilin' on tha POOP!
::)
Del, fer no good reason squeezes off a shot at Leo. He didn't check the barrel on the Great 8 first an it blows up in his hands an knocks him tail end over tea kettle. Leo hears the explosion and rides the other way toward the hills and gullies.
and ends up lost a 1/2 mile from Slim. ;D
Leo is completly lost, he left home without his Hopalong Cassidy compass!
After wandering a bit, Leo realizes he don't need a compass. Rueben has been tracking Lumpy the whole time, just at a very slow pace. Rueben can always find his way home. But first the mule seems ta want ta lead them further inta the gullies. It seems important so Leo follows.
Could Rueben be leading Leo to Delmonico? Stay tuned for future episodes.
Got a sneakin suspishun that Rueben has caught the sent a Slim. The mule adores Slim an only puts up with Del cause he's the Boss.
Quote from: Tensleep on April 12, 2009, 10:49:10 AM
Yanno what's really BAD about this thread?
YA DOAN LET FOLKS SPEAK FOR THEMSELVES!!!!!
:) ;) :D ;D >:( :( :o 8) ??? ::) :P :-[ :-X :-\ :-* :'(
Sometimes them little smilin crutches say it all.
Yeah......
Smiley, Wink, Cheesy, Grin, Angry, Sad, Shocked, Cool, Huh, Roll Eyes, Tongue, Embarassed, Lips Sealed, Undecided, Kiss, Cry.
Need one for Whirled Peas 'n
Save Polar Bears from Global Warmin'
Makes 'bout as much damned sense.
Well I gotta admit out here in public you're the reason I backed off the dern things. Alot of our other pards er still goin strong with em. Guess it's a matter a taste. At least I never see any a em usin the kissy face. It just aint right in a place like this.
:-*
Now, tell the troof. Ain't that witty, original 'n funny?
(http://static.iminent.com/siteimages/images/bigemoticons/bigemoticons_C2_R5.gif)
Quote from: Arcey on April 14, 2009, 12:49:06 PM
:-*
Now, tell the troof. Ain't that witty, original 'n funny?
atchaly it's kind a sexy. Marylyn Monroe with the mumps an wearin a cowboy hat.
(http://www.gallerym.com/images/work/big/associated%20press_marilyn_monroe_seven_yr_itch_L.jpg)
Sez it better........
Yep. Aint gonna get no argument here. Also would be a better way ta announce mornin cawfee.
Quote from: Arcey on April 14, 2009, 01:10:35 PM
(http://www.gallerym.com/images/work/big/associated%20press_marilyn_monroe_seven_yr_itch_L.jpg)
Sez it better........
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/jawdrop.gif)
Oh sure, just had ta use a smiley dincha.
(http://i247.photobucket.com/albums/gg133/leotanner/anim_buttkick.gif)
Well that's what ya get.
Who's lookin' at the smileys?
Touche Pop.
I caught er the first time round sans smily.
That's from "The Seven Year Itch".
Mean whilde, back at the ranch, Delmonico decides to quit lookin' for Slim and decides to shee if his new shippment has arrived. ;)
Quote from: Delmonico on April 14, 2009, 06:54:50 PM
Mean whilde, back at the ranch, Delmonico decides to quit lookin' for Slim and decides to shee if his new shippment has arrived. ;)
Leo thinks about Del's Edgar G. Robinson impersonation an has a chuckle..."shee, gonna check on the shipment, shee".
Leo, You just can't leave well enough alone, can you?
Nope, not with this crowd.
Delmonico gets to the ranch and to his dissapointment the surprise is not there. >:(
Del does manage to step in a surprize left by Reuben!
A fresh one at that!
Seein' the fresh mule poop, Delmonico finds Reuben down by the barn and puts him in. A quick peek shows Slim is not in his room. ???
Quote from: Delmonico on April 09, 2009, 06:03:43 PM
When Delmonico gets to Dunning, he's glad Trinity ain't along, the condition of the saloon would break his heart. ::)
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/RWNN/13374r.jpg)
What Del doesn't realize is that Trinity did know about the tragedy and has been mourning the loss ever since. Del keeps walking by and doesn't even recognize litl trinity sitting on the last remaining full barrel of beer. litl trinity recognizes Del, however, but remembering the stories that Trinity had told him, he decides to keep shut.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/131.gif)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/moon2.gif)(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/moon2.gif)(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/moon2.gif)(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/moon2.gif)(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/moon2.gif)
Was that the Cheeks-er-ee Kid that jus' went dancin by?
I declare!
Rueben leads Leo ta Slim an then heads off fer home. Leo offers Slim some jerkey, he looks hungry.
< wunners 'bout the fascination with feces. Strange people......
I've put up with enough $%^& in ma life, avoid it an any related conversations. Just walk on by.
Quote from: Arcey on April 23, 2009, 04:27:26 PM
< wunners 'bout the fascination with feces. Strange people......
But we don't do it fer a livin'. ;D
http://whyfiles.org/shorties/078coprolite/
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/bug.gif)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/dookey.gif)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/niemoller/emoticons/poo.gif)
Quote from: Leo Tanner on April 23, 2009, 04:13:17 PM
Rueben leads Leo ta Slim an then heads off fer home. Leo offers Slim some jerkey, he looks hungry.
"Thanks, pard."
Quote from: Arcey on April 23, 2009, 04:27:26 PM
< wunners 'bout the fascination with feces. Strange people......
Slim, Arcey said feces, i tought we were only 'lowed to say poop in Tall Tales. ;D
:-X ;)
:o
:P
Smells like Dell's cooking. :P
:o
:-X
;D
8)
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on April 23, 2009, 09:29:32 PM
"Thanks, pard."
De nada. Hop on ol' Lumpy here an we'll head home just as soon as we figger out which way ta go. The smell a burnin food should lead the way.
"I ain't riding that strange animal." ::)
Suit yerself.
Try an be a good guy an that's what ya get. Gonna go back ta bein bad.
"I've ridden a toad, but that thing is plain weird."
Leo tosses out another piece of jerkey an heads back ta the RWNN.
"Thas OK Lumpy, that honery man didn't mean it." Lumpy pauses fer a moment an considers turnin his head back an demonstratin his dead accurate spittin skills, but Leo pats his head an drives him onward tword the smell of burnt biscuits.
Delmonico sees a wagon on the horizon and knows his stuff has came at last. ;D
Slim follows the procession.
Delmonico drives by and offers Slim a ride in his new wagon: ;D
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/RWNN/570px-Roger_Fenton27s_waggon.jpg)
"Thank ya kindly." Slim climbs aboard.
Delmonico puts the wagon in the barn and takes some stuff to his workshop. He stands and thinks about what he is gonna do next: ::)
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/RWNN/716fss.jpg)
Irish looks at Slim n sez, "That's a mighty strange lookin shootin ahrn Del has aint it?"
Delmonico goes back into the shop, grabs a piece of broken glass plate and throws it at LIT, but misses him. ;D
Del has just installed a small yellow tweedy bird on the front of the camera next to the Lens Cap.
When Del says "smile fer the birdy" he means somthin else Pop.
Quote from: Leo Tanner on April 29, 2009, 07:26:30 PM
When Del says "smile fer the birdy" he means somthin else Pop.
{Arthurs Note: Slim and Tensleep won't 'low that kind a birdy here.}
Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on April 29, 2009, 06:56:57 PM
Irish looks at Slim n sez, "That's a mighty strange lookin shootin ahrn Del has aint it?"
"Do bullets come outta that thing?"
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on April 29, 2009, 11:02:57 PM
"Do bullets come outta that thing?"
Delmonico says, "no, but I can steal yer soul with it."
He then makes a weird face at Slim. ;D
Slim looks back, sees a flash and all he can see is lights balls:
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/RWNN/index.png)
AAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
Slim is temporarily blinded by the strange flash!
Delmonico gives Slim a hunk of rawhide and sends him back on his way. The Delmonico gets back to work. ;D
Atta Boy Lucky! Good Dog!
Slim places a package on the stairs to the cupola.
A faint ticking sound can heard coming from the package.
Leo sees the shimmering figure of beauty in the cupola and bows to one knee.
"Volo EGO had notus vos". Leo crosses himself and heads back into the RWNN.
Delmonico says nothing, but saddles Reuben and heads to Dunning.
Trinity, laying in a drunken heap at the stairs of the cupola in a drunken stupor brought upon by drinking too much recipe while remembering his departed friend, notices Delmonico's departure and speaks slurs,
"Ever tahm Ah see heeyum, he's a-leavin' on that ol' myule. Ah reckin' we's gonna have ta git us a new cook."
Meanwhile at his soddy, Sod Buster remembers his good friend and all the good times spent in her company. :'(
Good times and Great memories.
:'(
It Jest Ain't the same without Anne-lee. :'(
:'(
AS he does every year, Sod Buster rides quietly over to the Ranch with No Name and tiptoes up the stairs to the cupola & lights a candle for the FFG. :'( He then rides quietly back to his Soddy.
Sod Buster turns in for the night and says a prayer that God will watch over all of his pards here in the Great Plains of Nebrassky.
Leo wakes up and sees a package under the tannenbaum with his name on it. He opens it up and finds a new brass powder flask!
A very greatful Leo heads ta the kitchen ta brew some cawfee.
Del is snowed in at the Ranch with No Name and thinking about doing some ice skating on the Dismal on Christmas Day.
Slim puts on the flannel shirt the FFG gave him. Goes out ta gather eggs and milk the cow.
Leo loads his sixguns and whistles Christmas tunes.
The Christmas spirit is alive and well as it moves over snow covered hills of Nebrassky. It dreams of Christmas's old ago on the prairie.
Slim comes back in with the eggs and milk, and makes breakfast.
Slim remembers the leftover ham in the smokehouse and goes out and brings some in for breakfast.
Irish shows up with a wagonload of Christmas Cheer!
Delmonico got a new load of coal from Santa and heads out to fire up "The Steam Traction Engine." :o
Del is planning on taking a tour of the "Ranch with No Name" on the Steam Traction Engine this morning. The whistle should be a nice wakeup call for the neighbors on a Sunday morning.
"Eggs and bacon are ready. Come and git it 'fore Trinity smells it!" :o
Slim, You don't have to tell me twice!
Trinity wakes up in the mud next to the long dead winter solstice bonfire and searches for his clothing. Finally dressed, he heads over to the ranch to see that the all the gifts are gone from under the tree.
"What in tarnation happent har? Someone call tha shurf, we been robbed!!!!"
Then he notices the days marked off the calendar. :o "What on erf did Ah drank?"
Trinity realizes that in his drunken stupor, he has missed the entire Christmas Holidays, more especially the Christmas meal. He is ravenous and goes in search of FOOD!
In the icebox, Trinity finds one lone chicken leg. He drops to the ground and sobs. Then he reaches up for the leg, gnaws on it, and continues to sob.
Trinity hopes that Del has some Christmas leftovers at the "Ranch With No Name". He heads off throught the snow drifts of Newbrasky in search of more FOOD!
Sod Buster is planning his annual New Year's dinner of Black Eyed Peas.
Not seeing his buddy Trinity around, he cooks up some Little Smokies in hopes that the smoke will draw Trinity over for breakfast:
(http://www.thegoodes.net/Christmas2006/images/smokies.jpg)
(http://thepioneerwoman.com/tasty-kitchen/files/2009/10/bacon-wrapped-little-smokies-400x300.jpg)
My little bother, Trinity, wants more food, but he don't need it. Pa told me once, "That boy can live off his hump 'til mid-April."
Ain't changed much since.
::) ;D
Happy new year, kid...an' the rest of you, too.
<<Thanks Bro. Sadly, somewhere along the way, the hump slid around to the front. I can still tie my own shoes, though, so there's no need to refrain from goodies yet.>>
Through the snow, Trinity picks up the scent of frying potatoes and lil' smokies. In a flash, he's knocking at the door of the stranger's soddy. *Sniff* *sniff* "Open up! Sumpin' smails gooooood!"
Trinity is blessed with an uncanny sense of smell to be smell food rom as far away as Virginia. SMELL ON TRINITY!
When did you learn to tie shoes? :o
Quote from: Forty Rod on January 01, 2010, 05:23:55 PM
When did you learn to tie shoes? :o
Since they began using the velcro. ;D
Velcro?
Izzn't that the stuff you take to make your sticker peck out?
Kinda young for that, aintcha?
Nature wasn't kind to me. :(
Trinity eats all of Sod Busters Little Smokies and is still hungry. He starts walking to Arcey's house in search of more goodies.
I didn't know Arcey had a house around here. If he does Trin better watch out cause that man has heap bad medicine an a love fer his food. I wouldn't go messin around over there.
On the way over to Arcey's place, Trinity begins thinking about how much Arcey likes hot dogs and mutters to himself, "Yep, they's gonna be some good eats yonder. Now, if'n Ah kin jes sniff his place out..."
Trinity remembers that Arcey cooks soups and stews, he can smell things cooking somewhere.
But what, and from where? :o
Only the Shadow knows!
Only Leo knows for sure!
I'll send Trooper Rosch to investigate, hez the Hiway Patrol, Neb. style. He's my Kid Cousin.
Did I mention hez a lot taller than me.
Slick
Bro. Slick, That's nice to know, I go up to Nebraska several times a year.
If you see him Bro. Tex, ask him if he survived the time he was sittin'in the Gov.office with his feet on the desk.
Governor walked in :o ;D
So much fer being the Govs personal body guard. ::)
MS
They've got a female governor in Nebraska.
Quote from: Texas Lawdog on March 01, 2010, 11:42:40 PM
They've got a female governor in Nebraska.
http://www.governor.nebraska.gov/about/index.html
They had a female governor from 87 to 91, Gov. Orr.
Kindah a l'il different from:
Quote from: Texas Lawdog on March 01, 2010, 11:42:40 PM
They've got a female governor in Nebraska.
Don't ya think thar, Masonic Cowboy Shootist?
I saw a show on RFD TV recently about the Husband of Gov. Orr and I thought she was still Gov.
He must not pay alamony and CC support. Miss a payment, and he will get up to date. ;D
We durn near had a female gubbaner but the folks chose what was behind door number 2. It was one of those years that ya look at the ballot and say "Thank goodness, I was outta terlit paper".
As he does every year, Sod Buster rides quietly over to the Ranch with No Name and tiptoes up the stairs to the cupola & lights a candle for the FFG and all the other pards he has lost this past year. :'( He then rides quietly back to his Soddy.
Sod Buster turns in for the night and says a prayer that God will watch over all of his pards here in the Great Plains of Nebrassky.
Blasted dust. :'(
Slim sits by the fire wearing the flannel shirt he got from the FFG and sipping eggnog.
Leo returns to the RWNN late for the holiday but bearing a sack of primers for each resident. Leo apologizes that the stockings they are contained in are actually his dirty socks from weeks of riding.
Quote from: Silver Creek Slim on December 24, 2010, 11:37:31 PM
Blasted dust. :'(
Slim sits by the fire wearing the flannel shirt he got from the FFG and sipping eggnog.
Trinity drags into the living room after sleeping off the new years eve celebration, rubs his eyes and stares at Slim.
"Say Sleeeum, y'ain' warshed that thar shirt sin' she give it to ya. It's startin' ta look lahk mahn. Ah still 'member when tha FFG done tooked mah shirt an' britches an' warshed them wifout mah say. When Ah got 'em back, Ah felt lahk Ah had lost a bunch of frien's.
"Wail, atchally, Ah did. Ah wen' ta tha warsh water ta save 'em, but they was all daid."
Happy New year friends!
Slim lights the oven, goes out to the smokehouse and brings a pork shoulder back into the kitchen. Puts it in a dutch oven and into the oven. He starts peeling taters.
Delmonico watches as he makes some bread in the kitchen, notices it's still above freezing and the drizzle has stopped.
"Good, looks like the worst of the storm went by us and went to Wissy-con-sin." ::) ;D
Slim puts the taters on the stove ta boil.
Delmonico notices Slim's cookbook sittin' on the table:
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/food/Oct1001.jpg)
And gets a bit queezy. :P
Delmonico should know that Slim doesn't cook with soybean by-products. ::)
Leo shoots a large tofubeast and brings it ta the smoke house fer Del.
Delmonico sees the tofubeast and throws in into the Dismal River:
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/food/worthington-wham.gif)
Delmonico puts some real meat snacks out to nibble on while supper is cooking:
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/FUN/food/pl.jpg)
Seeing the lean towards health food, Leo brings a bag of fried pork rinds that he had under his pillow.
Delmonico sees Leo's pillow leaking oil all over his bed so he tosses the pillow out in the buring pile and lights it with a match.
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/cooking%20fires/storm106.jpg)
He then goes down to Shim's sawmill and gets some sawduck to soak up the oil seeing's how kittly litter ain't been invented yet. ;)
Leo goes to steal Del's pillow and finds it soaked with drool. He throws it in the fire and it puts the fire out in a cloud of steam.
Wildman is amblin by, sees the mess, says don't know what happen here hope they had flood and fire insurance. WM
Just another day at the RWNN. Well, not really, I didn't chute nothin.
Leo chutes Del's pilla. "There, ma day is complete".
Delmonico heads out and starts to fire up his Steam Traction Engine.
Oh no,that cain't be good. WM
A little less talk and a little more traction...
Quote from: wildman1 on February 26, 2011, 04:40:17 AM
Oh no,that cain't be good. WM
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/14081v.jpg)
Yer gonna have a really hard time splainin that one. ::) WM
That's gotta be the hundreth time he's done that. He failed steam tractor drivers ed.
;D
8)
After gettin' The Steam Traction Engine extracted from the brigde Leo didn't make strong enough, Delmonico heads on down the road.
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/Delmonico_1885/Camp%20Creek/5152009042.jpg)
It were strong enough for me ta get through.
Think of the scene in Good the Bad and the Ugly. BOOM!!!
Meanwhile, down by the big cottonwood, Slim gets the bonfire going for Trinity. :o
Seeming that all are asleep at the Ranch With No Name, Sod Buster enters the ranch house and tiptoes up the stairs to the cupola & lights a candle for the FFG and all the other pards he has lost this past year. He then rides quietly back to his Soddy.
Sod Buster turns in for the night and says a prayer that God will watch over all of his pards here in the Great Plains of Nebrassky.
Any one hear from Little Rooster?
A spring equinox without a naked Trin Man just don't seem right. I builted the fire an everthin.
Slim arrives with a sack of marshmallows.
I got the hot dogs an' the coat hangers we could be set for a spell 8) least we ain't starvin'
Looks like a Girl Scout stumbled onta the RWNN.
Quote from: Leo Tanner on March 20, 2012, 11:00:44 PM
Looks like a Girl Scout stumbled onta the RWNN.
How'd j'know :o :D
Lucky Irish Tom rides in with a wagonload of supplies and notices the remains of a big bonfire, but no one is around.
Letty Et Al.
I have to laugh every time someone mentions hotdogs ...
We were supposed to have a normal,HC-130 'Duckbuttt" out of Pease AFB, NH ...Fly halfway to Thule Greenland and bore holes in the sky for 11 or so hours and then RTB (Return to Base). We took off with four engines that 'Ops Checked Normal' on the ground ... but by the time we were returning, our two out board engines were now at 'flight idle' and one of the inboard engines was 'iffy'... so rather than landing at back at Pease AFB, we ducked into Goose Bay, Labrador. BTW, A C-130 can maintain flight but not altitude on the two inboard engines .....
Since we had all planned to be in our own beds that night, none of us had brought money. And to make matters worse, the AC (Aircraft Commander) had reneged on the unspoken custom of kiting a check to cover his enlisted ...
So the senior NCO (he had been a Col. in WW II and took a Msgt/Flight mechanic's rating to stay in the cockpit), took everyone's money (it was like $14 and change) and promised to make sure we were fed .... (mind, this was in the days prior to ATMs and Credit Cards ...
He came back several hours later with two dozen hot dogs, and two dozen buns. He had 'five finger discounted' packs of relish, mustard and ketchup from the base bowling alley ....
But the piece de resistance was when he pulled out an extension cord and a couple of ten-penny or bigger nails. He cut the female end off the extension cord, stripped the wires and wrapped them around the nails. He then proceeded to punch one of the nails into each end of the hot dog ...
Then he plugged the extension cord into a wall outlet .... and as the hot dog sputtered and the lights flickered, he made sure none of us were hungry. One by one we were fed .... and if someone told me this story, I would have said something like "Oh, what pitiful stuff' .... but I was there and saw it all.... and the hotdogs had this taste of zinc, but we all went to bed full ... *S*
TTFN,
Slim climbs the stairs to the cupola and open a windows to let in some of the cool night air. He sits down and thinks of all the friends who are no longer with us. Wind blows in the window and gets dust in his eyes.
Delmonico comes up and some of the dust hits him in the eyes also. :'(
An older Scattered Thumbs drives to the No Name Ranch. The place is empty and looks abandoned. A sudden wind brings dust to is eyes. FFG is that you? He asks hopefully. But only the wind answers him back. He starts back the engine of is new fangled motor car, looks back at the decaying buidings and drives away feeling miserable.
Quote from: Scattered Thumbs on February 22, 2017, 02:52:49 PM
An older Scattered Thumbs drives to the No Name Ranch. The place is empty and looks abandoned. A sudden wind brings dust to is eyes. FFG is that you? He asks hopefully. But only the wind answers him back. He starts back the engine of is new fangled motor car, looks back at the decaying buidings and drives away feeling miserable.
He didnt see the grey haired Aussie squatted on the sand ridge overlooking the old ranch - battered cowboy hat, winchester across his knees, eyes squinted up from sixty years of searching for cattle in red sand dunes and mulga, a little black and white mare rubbing her nose on his back sayin 'come on old feller lets move' -- he looks up and sees the grey hawk turning slow circles on a thermal above - always the hawk when she needed to talk - from ten thousand miles away these messages on the wind - now shes gone but still the birds come to him ....aahhhh . he turns to the little mare, sheaths the rifle, toe in the stirrup .................... Scattered Thumbs looks back from the first cattle grid - hmmmph - eyes are playin tricks with me today - coulda swore I saw a rider up there on that dune top ........
a hundred miles southeast of Birdsville he recovers his consciousness - takes a few wobbly steps till the head clears - no bones broken - finds his hat - sh%t the motor bike is wrecked - radio busted - hes lucky this time - somebody musta been lookin after him - only two mile to the windmill and trough in South Dunfords paddock then 15 mile to the homestead on a decent track - should be in about midnight unless they pick him up first - this coulda been a pine box job pretty easy!!